#ive got things to do this month that tbh is stressing me out a lot ♡

[vairuler]

ʰᶦᶦ 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 ! ♡ ᶠᵃᶦʳ ʷᵃʳⁿᶦⁿᵍ ᶦ'ˡˡ ᵐᵒˢᵗ ˡᶦᵏᵉˡʸ take a while ᵃᵈᶠᵍʰʲ

[starkissedblade]

💸💸💸💸💸

this is me just talking abt money and random stuff veeerrryy boring but i bought a pair of shoes a couple months ago for $200 and i have only wore them once i just stare at them and think about my bad spending decisions and i know i will start wearing them soon because they’re the only platform shoes i have but they’re also the most expensive shoes ive ever worn & i just die a little inside i need to get over it tho but i also thought of getting new walking shoes since ive had these ones for 5 yrs now (tbh i think the 200$ shoes r the only ones ive bought 4 myself new like all my shoes which is like only my everyday walking shoes, a pair of docs from hs, & a pair of flip flops i dont have many shoes & all were bought for me by someone else like yrs ago) and my feet r starting to get sore wearing them everyday but i think i might just buy new soles instead like these shoes still have traction.. cuz i need to buy a hair dryer and diffuser cup thing soon because im tired of air drying my hair and i want to make my wavy/slightly curly hair look presentable on the regular and not just occasionally and i need to spend money on that instead!!! but also will i do that??? i just put it off lmao it will probably be months before i actually buy something for that why does everything cost moneyyyy i feel like every day im making bad money decisions but i haven’t been That bad like 9/10 i use the stuff that i buy all the way. im physically stopping myself rn from dropping 40 something on this thing that a lot of ppl say really actually helps their cystic acne which ive had constant problems w. but i cant just do that. its 40!!!! instead i need to buy travel liquid containers that are smaller than 3 oz online cuz they usually only have big ones at walmart and i don’t need them to be That big i never do anything beyond a carry on because checked baggage is Expensive and it stresses me out on top of the expensiveness Anyway u can only have like a sandwich baggy sized thing w liquids in a carry on which is sooo annoying 😒 anyway there’s like $100 worth of stuff this yr that ive got that ive actually Really regretted like at the end of the day the new shoes r worth it for me because i’ll wear them until they break. i get so stressed over not using more than a third of the alcohol based mouthwash i got in feb because it burnt my mouth too much i get stressed over the cerave gentle cleanser i got but then it’s not what i need liked i needed the salacylic acid one instead so now that one just stares at me in its largely unused glory like i worry tooooo much but it’s also kind of good worrying because it keeps me in check cuz it makes me quadruple check if i really need something… but i do usually keep my impulse spending to the thrift which is usually a good thing. i bought a cool hat a couple days ago for a couple bucks but my head is too big :(( i need to look for a place that’ll give it away for free im done w giving stuff to goodwill or other places i just want ppl to be able to get clothes w out paying for it i hope that theres something like that around here. anyway i need to buy a really small point pen tomorrow to do this art thing for Father’s Day cuz my smallest point pen went dry yrs ago and this is the first time im picking up doing something like this in yrs like it’s for Father’s Day tho so i feel like it’s justified. and then i’ll need to get T in the next month 🚬 which has been 140 recently cuz i my state doesn’t cover it in insurance. at least insurance covers blood draws and my doctor doesn’t charge for messaging online abt stuff, so. and at least medicaid in my state covers some dental because ihave that appointment next month. and then ill be paying close to $200 for a flight ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh at least its not more than that ig. at least cheap allegiant flights r a thing . im so lucky in so many ways financially because of my mom step dad being so nice to me basically buying a car 4 me at 18 and letting me live w them rent free etc like idk how i got here i am still not used to it really i feel like its gonna be

pulled out from underneath me soon or something

[celestie0]

ellie did you hear about the solar storm thing thats been going around?

my friend gave me a detailed explanation abt what it is whats going to happen n all n honestly i am TERRIFIED.

like it genuinely seems so real that i cant even convince myself that this is another one of those silly things that go around each year

the fact that research for this solar storm has been going on since 2019 is ???? scary ????

makes it seem more believable tbh bc if it was not real it wouldn't have been going on for so long

IM SO SCARED 😭 genuinely cried when my friend was telling me ab this and she also said thwt we'll get to know ab when the solar storm is going to hit about 30 minutes before AND NOW IM PARANOID BC IT CAN HIT ANY MOMENT NOOOOO

and to top this off my mother told me that not many ppl will survive till 2027 i have no idea where she got that from but she scared me even more

this is so bad.

hii my love yess ive heard of the solar storm, i know that solar flares in general have been talked about a lot for a while now but i didn’t know that there was recent news about it!

i’m sorry you’re experiencing anxiety regarding it :””( yeahh ive heard that solar flares are near impossible to predict in advance for a lot of reasons, so that can definitely heighten the fear

hm idk if it makes you feel better but i remember nasa n other news outlets were talking about solar storms the exact same way about a year ago (i just remember telling my dad ab it cuz he works in aerospace n figured his company might’ve been discussing it) but nothing happened at all within the six month period that the news had been freaking out about LOL. i panicked a lot then too n my dad said it was just fear mongering lmfaoo 💀 (he’s kind of a cynic though haha) but yea i just bring this up because it’s not the first time this sort of news has been sensationalized

following any sort of space stuff can be scary for sure n it’s super easy to get lost in article rabbit holes that can really disrupt your quality of life in the present :( but i think there have been multiple instances of space phenomena that have been hyped up in media (even by a lot of reputable news outlets) that have not really affected daily life as much as it was thought to (like the never ending cycle of news about new asteroids, the whole aliens thing, etc)

i think it’s important to remember that the scientists that are actually behind the research are completely different entities than the people writing up articles about it online, so you always have to take the news with a grain of salt or maybe try to look into accounts from the actual researchers behind the findings (who, more often than not i’ve found, don’t even panic about their own research to the level of extent a lot of media ppl do online haha)

i’m not saying i don’t believe in the possibility of a solar storm or anything like that lol i just think there’s a lot of tendency in news these days to scare tf outta people for no reason

also correct me if im wrong but the largest danger of a solar storm would be disruption of radio & internet frequencies right? i thought they werent actually powerful enough to cause any sort of biological radiation harm ;0 loss of internet access would definitely be a weird thing to see and could put stress on more developed countries, but a lot of the world doesnt even have internet access to begin with so i’m not sure how much it will actually affect livelihood (i’m aware that it’d affect a LOT of things for sure, but i’m talking ab dangers like life or death situations, n i just cant imagine that being the case? but if you’ve looked into that more than i have n have more to share then lemme know i’m really curious)

sorry, im just bringing this all up in hopes it helps w your fears, n not to invalidate them! bc i totally get it, it’s scary stuff esp when it’s stuff you feel like you have no control over. but there’s a lot of things in life we have no control over, i think it’s best to just focus on what we can control n just try to enjoy today :)

thank u for ask bb <3

[duck-era-lexi]

finished that fucking spencer reid fic and my life is not the same. i am not the same person i was 2 hours ago before reading that ROLLERCOASTER of a fic. i cannot believe persephonesgrace was the person to get me out of my 4 month reading slump. like ive been picking up books for 2 months and just putting them down halfway through because i cannot get through them.

wnwn is enthralling and intriguing and beautiful and it’s genuinely such a work of art. like there’s constant conflict but just the right amount of fluff. i’d say it has somewhat of a slow start but once you get to 25% it gets really good with the mystery factor. gave me massive manacled vibes but i like spencer reid as a character more than i like draco or hermione so i was so much more emotionally attached to this. 

it’s 218k words and the sequel’s 24k but it’s unfinished. which is fucking painful and i feel like i’ve felt that before. the sequel is so cute to read but it makes me sad because there is SO much potential. however i don’t have the same attachment to late show reid as a i do to early show reid so i don’t mind the series not continuing. it has a lot of conflict already set up but tbh, it’s a little too much conflict. like it’s bordering on stress with spencer and y/n’s internal struggle, as well as RAISING A CHILD, and how everyone wants to kill them and shit. like i totally understand why the author wouldn’t want to continue that because it’s stressing me out just thinking about all the plotlines trying to be intertwined. 

speaking of the author, let’s talk about the ending of the original 218k word fic. literally a fucking masterpiece. i am OBSESSED with thriller and romance, especially when it’s crafted as beautifully as this. as good as dead by holly jackson is probably my favorite book and it also does a combination of that. it’s also a very similar book to that, but this one is a lot more serious. i feel like with this, i realize sincerely that the best stories always leave you wanting more. this story has an ambigious ending that is generally sad, in like the way that it implies a lot of off-screen misery that we don’t see in detail. not to mention the fact that the person who wrote it didn’t have any social media linked. the story hasn’t been updated in a year and a half and i don’t think it will be coming back anytime soon. it’s not hard to see why, as the second project from what has been written looks to be even more complicated than the first. they reached too high for the clouds and got overwhelmed, probably. i wish we just had like a 50k word epilogue or something with mucho fluff, but honestly when you think about the storyline that would’ve been out of place. everytime a dragon head was slayed in the story 3 more dragon heads regrew in its place. we went from love confessions to mafia to corrupt society to soft parenthood to death in one fic. 

in conclusion, i have one more thing to note. i don’t think i will ever be able to re-experience how i felt reading that fic because i went in completely blind. the thriller and mystery aspect of it hit me like a truck. like i knew there was mystery but i didn’t know it would be so well orchestrated. the flashbacks were absolutely beautiful and paced so well; my jaw was on the floor the entire time. as i mentioned this fic completely flowed and changed in such a way that i didn’t predict even in the slightest. 

tldr: i love spencer reid. xoxo

[bitwynn]

LIFE UPDATE--

Hehehehehe...

Sooooooo. The thing with Zhongli happened again.

I got my boi with one goddamn ten pull AGAIN AHAHAHAH

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I FEEL LIKE THIS IS JUST SAGAU ACTING UP SINCE I HAVENT PLAYED GENSHIN IN LIKE 6 MONTHS--

Genshin, i get it, you miss your Guide/Overseer UwU ahaha (lipbite)

Also sorry not sorry for not playing-- a lot of life happened and tbh, Scara was the one that pulled me back in lol

Id say sorry for leaving the account barren but i did disclose that i would be updating and writing and using this account to my wishes and i only write here as a form of relaxation and stress relief. And like mentioned earlier, i did fall out of playing the game for a long time because it was getting overwhelming and i needed to balance my time with school. And now that i can actually FREELY do fuck all (for like a month at least), ill probably be posting more. Also dw, ive had the 3rd chapter in the works for a long time now-- ive just had some trouble churnin it out lol

Anyways, im gonna go do the archon quests so i can power up my boy-- hes at lvl 40 and already hes murdering innocent lvl 80 creatures-- ugh im so proud

[theyellowgal]

september 16, 2024

its been so long lmaooo

I've been a busy girl okay y'all. a busy woman :)

been dealing with class, work, stressing, getting annoyed, trying to eat enough. its just a lot of things happening at one time.

I know straight A's in nursing school is kinda crazy and I definitely haven't achieved that thus far, but I really am trying to get as close as possible. we've had 2 exams so far and I got an A on the first one. we took one today though that was farrrr from an A. idk my exact score yet but I know it wasn't an A lol.

girlhood wise....

I wish I was taking more time for myself and self care ya know...ive been struggling to do so lately because school is taking up so much time. but I have 2 weeks to study for my next exam so I'm gonna do my best to study early and not rush during my last week. but while studying I want to add in some time for myself. especially this week.

I also want to have a date night with my bf. I know he'll probably pay buttt I wanna wait until pay day so that I can at least offer to pay yk lol.

I need to get more sleep. I need to wash and retwist my hair. I need to get a wax.

yall

I want a wax so fucking bad omgggg. Ive had the money to do so but like....ugh idk.

speaking of money. I feel like ive been managing it pretty well tbh. I am just now running out of money since my last really paycheck which was over a month ago. still wish I had more so I could do more BUT ive been doing a very good job and im proud of myself. that includes putting money away for my savings and my hospital's version of a 401k. so everyone clap it up for me lmao

anyways im in class right now so im gonna wrap this up :)

I hope you all have an amazing day. eat good food. drink some water. get good rest. take care of yourself.

lmao

I just remembered

my birthday happened and I never said anything about it...

well happy late birthday to me :) it was a good one lmao. some of the pics here are from then

[thisisanude]

i feel crazy i feel absolutely insane the timing is just so weird too like i don’t understand what’s happening ive never felt this weird and unsure of what to do in my relationship WELL i have in other ways but never this one this one is the weirdest TBH. like on one hand i love him and every time i see him i feel genuine love and happiness and like i want to build a future with him and i love hanging out with him and he makes me feel better. but on the other hand. we have had issues before he would get petty over things i really didn’t appreciate and part of me is like it’s my fault too cuz i can be bitchy like sometimes i talk before i think. but idk i feel like that’s the worst of me like he would get so upset at moments when he really shouldn’t have been or when a partner should be supportive. and the petty things. like the first time like 2 years ago when i said to him at a bar i look so good everyone here wants to fuck me and he was very upset and took that real not well but didn’t tell me about it till months later and that’s why he would get so petty. and this was the same instance when i found out that he was being petty to me bc also months ago i made a joke to his friend about his bong being dirty. and i don’t even remember how they fight went bc honestly it was awful i tried to push it away so bad sooooo bad and that fight was like a year and a half ago. i remember being truly hurt for the first time, like instead of trying to solve something he was being petty. it was so upsetting and i feel like that made me see him differently bc i will never feel like i got full closure. like i was saying sorry for doing those things too much and he wasn’t saying sorry for being petty enough. i do get angry tho and i don’t give in when im really mad. and then ! that was like the worst our relationship was bc i had already not been happy with him prob bc of his pettiness and distance from me in the before months so that fight was like damn i could see myself without you. but then things started to improve he was cleaning his act up and in a few more months i felt really happy in our relationship again. it’s like wow i can’t believe i ever felt upset or wanted to leave i want to be with you forever so bad this is my person this is my soulmate. and then next july which was almost a year later we had a big fight THE DAY I WASS MOVING OJT….. which if you know me my room and apartment is a very very very lot of work to move out from. and the last year he wasn’t in town so he didn’t help me but this year he was helping me. and last year i helped him move out after he left town and did a lot of work also but that don’t matter cuz it’s not like transactional but just saying im not only expecting help from him i help him as well. but i don’t even fucking remember what that was about either! crazy how bad my memory holds fights and bad memories like that altho i’m sure i was prob smoking a lot around this time which doesn’t help. i just remember being extremely angry with him and for the first time in a while thinking oh i don’t think i should be with him forever. and i honestly didn’t feel like i was fully recovered i feel like i was just like let’s fix this asap bc i needed to keep MOVING OUT and i didn’t want to be immensely stressed and upset. but i don’t even remember what the fuck he was upset about but i do remember him telling me i shouldn’t have told my BEST FRIEND about him potentially moving back home the next year and us maybe being long distance. and i was like wtf is wrong with you for being mad at going to my best friend like that’s an emotional upset thing for me and i also don’t wanna make you feel guilty for leaving by talking about it in a sad way. and he was like now she told her boyfriend (who is his dealer) and now everyone knows my business when i don’t want anyone to. like bitch what the fuck why do you care so much shut the fuck up holy shit and he was like why is it a big deal it’s not a big deal and i was like how can you say that. he’s like that’s like the same thing as you going to ur home country for

[6loodlvstt]

I usually play videogames with no audio cuz when I have it on I get easily bored. For example last month I started pokemon sword and tbh never played it with vol on and when I did that for the first time I was like “? Why the sounds are so annoying?”. Idk probably I’m weird but I get easily overwhelmed with sounds. It’s kinda funny because when I listen to music I listen to black metal/rock in general. But when I’m busy drawing things I like to listen to true crime podcasts. Yeah I’m one of those obsessed with serial killers cases.

And yeah, fear and hunger is just straight up hard. I was surprised the first time but I’m still trying to finish it (I want to die/hj). So far I’m loving sm hades! The character designs are so pretty? Ofc I like Dionysus the most, he was and still is my favorite icon. Just to ask, who’s your fav greek mythological figure? I’m curious. Personally I’m also extremely into the myth of Hyacinth the most. Probably I read too many graphic novels about him ahah. And! Are you perhaps also into egyptian mythology? Since I was a kid I was so obsessed with mummies and the first time I saw one I was so anxious lol.

When I was in school I also had problems at school, mostly because at the time I was the only emo kid and all my classmates were… normal? I liked to dress black, enjoyed spending time writing horror stories and I was a major creepypasta lover. But I genuinely sucked at oral tests. Probably you only had some random quizzes but where I live we also have oral ones. And I fucking hated to speak in front of people. So drawing during classes was a sort of stress relief to my anxiety! So I completely get you :(

This is funny but I always was extremely talented at singing, although at some point I started to find annoying to perform in front of people. And in general the idea of studying in theater looked “uncool” in my teen years. Now I completely changed opinion and I’m a musical fan lol. My family always tried to push me into trying this world in some ways through the years and only some months ago I finally decided to open up. It’s scary tho. You shouldn’t gave up your dreams. Realistically speaking you can start studying in the future if you really want to pursuit violin! ^^

What are you doing now? I hope everything’s going well! <3 -🩹

i always play with audio on since a lot of games i play have audio cues into it, but i understand sometimes the game sounds can be annoying

god me too, to all of the music and the true crime; i mainly liten to true crime at work tho or when im playing minecraft for some strange reason

it sounds like a pain but i so get that,,

my favorite always has been aphrodite and always will be <3

i used to be kinda an egyptian myth nerd but i would have to relearn a lot tbh

sometimes we had presentations tests so i think thats as close to relating with the oral tests but the rest i totally understand

my family is kinda controlling of what i do, if they dont like that i picked up a hobby or something they let me know, like cosplaying for example i find it really difficult because my dads a little creepy and my mom refuses to acknowledge or be arpund me if she notices that i am and its to the point that it becomes a really big problem in my house so now ive got like really expensive cosplays and o barely do it anymore to keep some peace in my house ueue when i move out ill probably pick up a lot of my old hobbies like cosplay, art, streaming, and music stuff maybe ill even pick back up baking who knows!

im still playing dead space tbh,, its so fun but i just asked my brother a steam question and he closed out of dead space so i just lost a good chunk of progress sigghhhh, i hope your days been going well too though :D tell me if you do anything fun <3

[wellnesscard]

okayyyy heres my rant about a lil bit of chicken fried a cold beer on a friday a pair of jeans that fits just right and the radio on

gooddddd. i lowkey/highkey hate my jobeven tho there isnt much "real" to hate on as compared to several other places ive quit. its just not my favorite. its mind numbingly boring and repetitive and still half the other managers loose their shit about doing the expected days work. i say other managers bc i am a manager which i didnt realize was the position at all until a couple months in, and if i decided to not do the training id get my pay cut from $14 to like $12. and that fuckings irks me bc had i known i was going to be responsible for ppl and things i wouldve asked for more koney when they hired me but that ship has sailed and i fuckt it up bc i thought i was going to be a line cook. and ig they need managers soooo bad they literally just paid for my serv safe n all that jazz. and i swear half the ppl that work there are fucking retarded like the last manager in training failed serv safe three or more times.. then when i passed everones like congratulations that test is really hard u did it! im like i have to get the fuck out of here Fast ohmygod. and i work with devon and its mostly fine but also drives me nuts occasionally. like were so together he just forgets stuff like telling me im manager in training or training me on any management shit at all before im supposed to start running shifts solo. im just frustrated by a lot and i want to quit but i know i probably shouldn't because its so fucking easy and i can get away with virtual murder there . its also a tiny cage of a kitchen, constantly overstaffed, and feel a bit trappt by a) devon going out n getting this job for me when we moved bc he already worked there n is buddies with the GM, and b) the GM being such a sad ass self-conscious redhead who has also just handed me a ton of free goodies. tbh they do quarterly raises and maybe if i negotiate to 15.50 ill be more okay with it all. that is/has been another struggle is making my own relationships w these people bc devon knew them all first and is a bit more boisterous than me and im trying to push past some of these codependent habits ive ended up with (started crying at this bit so u know were getting close to the truth) which is so fucking Hard when you work at his job working the same shifts or when were not i.e. today and i start crying waking up bc i have to go in alone and be manager which i never fully got trained for and be 1-on-1 with his sister who also works there and who i love but also can be very intense and volatile esp lately bc she started dating this girl whom is ..... kinda a dick ngl so thats obvy stressful. anyways yes avoiding codependency is Hard when thats the morning n he says anything i can do for u? and i half joking say work my shift? n then he does -_- and i feel like i should've just been a big girl. like if i worked a job different than my husband he wouldnt be able to cover my shift, its just the unique workings of This Fucking Place. which im fine with. i think. the walk there is amazing, even if i perpetually smell like fryer oil. fr watch me get mauled by a boar or bear omw home next week cos i smell like a snack walking home thru the woods. whatever at the same time its easy as pie and if i work it right i never have to buy groceries.

[maiverie]

( ୨୧ ) ── ꒰ update ! ꒱

hi hi everyone !! just wanted to share a super quick update <3 i know this account hasn't been properly active in a month so i firstly wanted to apologise for the inactivity and also keep u all in the loop abt what i have planned in the future :>

( note : it's kinda late here so i'll answer asks tmr :0 <3 )

ㅤㅤ↳ the reason for my inactivity is quite multifactorial but boils down to a lack of motivation to write / be on tumblr + many commitments irl !! ive been working + studying a lot, which has kept me busy :(

ㅤㅤ↳ i don't have plans to deactivate this acc or anything so don't be concerned about that!! not that anyone would even care saslkddjsj just wanna put that out there!! i still very much have a passion for writing, though admittedly my motivation has taken a bit of a hit. nothing really to do with you guys / tumblr,,, i think i just have a tendency to overthink things and sometimes writing can be stressful when ur brain literally mf hates itself :’>

ㅤㅤ↳ a few months ago i reached a new milestone (4 digits!!! that is literally so effing slay IM CRYING) but didn't get the chance to say anything soooo THANK U ALL SOOO MUCHHHH AAAA im seriously in awe at that number because tbh i really don't feel like i've achieved much w this acc T_T sometimes im super embarrassed that my masterlist is so puny and i've only got the one completed fic,, but reaching such a cool milestone is more than enough for me to be utterly grateful. in saying that, i'm so so so sorry abt how horrible my updating schedule is :’’> i'll definitely try to work on it and be more consistent :( in the meantime, if anyone has any idea on like milestone ideas then pls pls pls lmk *-* <333

ㅤㅤ↳ anyways, if you're wondering what my plans are next, the first thing i want to do is update & finally complete triage !!! i have about 2-3k written so far but the final chapter will probably reach 7k+ (kms) :’’> i have sm wips i want to publish and start, but i probably won't do anything about them until my other ongoing fics (misconduct and doublespeak) are on a somewhat steady trajectory to getting finished (i.e. i have a good understanding of where they're headed).

ㅤㅤ↳ to any moots that are reading this (but tbh blr literally looks so dead that i wouldn't even be surprised if nobody sees / reads this HAHAHS), i will defs catch up on all ur updates <33 i really wanna be active again on this acc so ill probably be reaching out sometime soon to say hi :’>

ㅤㅤ↳ lastly, i noticed some people are recommending my fics and asldk;fjl;kjew im literally crying like it genuinely makes me so happy that people are even reading my shit like?? hello?? yall got some questionable ass taste but tysm for enjoying my fics :< i gen love yall sm u !! don't !! even !! know !! sooo yeah thank you so much for all the likes, comments, reblogs, recommendations, or any other sliver of interaction bc yall are the best and i love writing and i love enhypen and i love u all MWAH MWAH MWAH !! anyway i'm probably gna sleep now but tysm for reading this long ass post aksjjadjss ill answer asks tmr!!!

ㅤㅤ— lots and lots of luv from mai <333

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[a-actual-prince]

First Ketamine infusion experience was rough

Hello I haven’t used this blog for years but I might as well typed out all what happened somewhere.

After a 3 month wait I finally had my first infusion and to put it lightly it didn’t start well. I have a phobia of veins and needles together, that I’ve mostly worked through but I’d never had an IV which I knew was gonna be the hardest part because of my phobia.

And I was exactly correct that part went horrible and they couldn’t get a good vein. My only guess is I didn’t drink enough water the day before because they could not find a vein for the life of me.

Attempt #1 was in my right arm and hurt like hell and failed resulting in me almost passing out. So my doctor looks around more but couldn’t find any so he leaves to get an ultrasound sound

Attempt #2 different doctor comes in to check around while my doctor was getting the ultrasound, the other doctor couldn’t find any good ones so he tries my right hand, which hurt a bunch and didn’t work.

Attempt #3 they do the ultrasound and found a vein right by my armpit tries to do it there, it didn’t hurt but the vein blew out so that didn’t work

Attempt #4 my doctor is looking on the ultrasound in my other arm, and is almost thinking about doing one in my foot (thank god they didn’t) but decided on my left hand the worst shit of my life. The second doctor did it and tbh fuck him he was so mean. It hurt so bad and he kept digging around in my hand with the needle. I was getting extremely dizzy and telling him I need to breathe for a second. It finally works with that attempt and as I go to lay down cause I can tell I’m about to pass out, I do.

Thankfully I was already sitting but I ended up slummed on the wall and hospital bed railing behind me and convulsing until I came to about a minute later. I didn’t know what happened cause I felt like I blinked and next thing I knew my ears were ringing and I was against the wall. Now the staffs freaking out calling my doctor in asking my fiancé if I have a history of seizures. He doesn’t know the answer cause he’s never seen me have them before.

The short answer to that is no I don’t have seizures a lot of times when I pass out I convulse until I come to no longer than a minute or 2 later. which hasn’t happened in a while usually 1 or 2 times a year and it’s only when I pass out. I’ve had it happen a few times over my life when I’ve been super sick or stressed to the point of passing out. My guess is the amount of pain and anxiety going on got to be too much and caused it.

But now they’ve put a hold on my next 2 treatments until they can talk with me so see if the infusion actually gave me any pain relief and why that happened as I couldn’t tell them in the moment cause by the time I put my words in a sentence the infusion had already started and I was asleep again.

The rest of the infusion went pretty smoothly and I don’t remember much cause I was out of it or even much after until I woke up at home. My fiancé stayed with me the whole time and said I was saying weird things and kept asking if the IV was in because I was conscious for about a minute after waking up from passing out before they started the infusion.

With all that it did give me a lot of pain relief which is something I haven’t felt in so long so I want to continue with the treatment and I’m hoping they’ll let me I just really hope I don’t get the same doctor that did the iv because I feel like a lot of the issues could have been avoiding if he hadn’t stepped in.

[teeth-and-tea]

ANIME & MANGA I HAVE BINGED IN THE LAST MONTH: May 2021

I've Been Hunting Slimes for the Past 300 Years and Now Ive Maxed Out My Level: incredibly long name aside, cute af slice of life that suffers Same Face Syndrome. I'm still happy to watch it because of how feel good and fluffy it is though, Im probably gonna forget about it in two or three years tho. 8/10.

Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro: I found out this was a webcomic first and suddenly all the HORNINESS made so much more sense. A Femdom, Degradation, Humiliation, Dacryphilia Bullies to Lovers story disguised as a high school rom-com which, I'm not going to lie, misses SKEEVY CITY by mere inches on a regular basis. However, I'm a Dom/Switch and this entire relationship sets off my dom brain center like New York City just shy of midnight. So if you're into that sort of scene, this anime is for you. If not, it's still fascinating but you're probably gonna be a little put off by how mean the Girl!Bully is to the guy MC. Unless you find out something about yourself, in which case, congrats! Stay safe, sane, consensual, and learn about the traffic light system on top of safe words, I promise you'll have a better life in general after that. Still Ongoing, currently 10/10.

Fruits Basket: IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS ANIME SO MUCH???? The original anime came out when I was in... I think middle school and my parents were really strict on what I watched so I never got to experience the first wave and I never bothered to watch the show ever after I moved out of the house years later. However, now that I'm much older I honestly can say this is one of my favorite anime to date, and all the characters are charming, lovable, with their own problems that I can connect to or sympathize with, and I love the MC which is always a treat tbh. Except Akito. Akito can suck a sandpaper dick. I'm only on S2 tho so no spoilers! Anime 11/10.

Monster Girl Doctor: went in thinking it was gonna be a monster girl who's a doctor with a homoerotic assistant (her name is SAPPHY okay sue me for thinking it) and ended up watching the entire dubbed harem series. Honestly, I've seen worse and this one has consistent follow-through on interesting characters and backstory enough for me to shove aside the blatant under-monstrousness of the female monsters and the harem-ness of everything else. Dubbing is honestly really good, which is a treat, and the monster designs are not the worst and the MC is tolerable. Honestly, I don't mind having watched it! The mix of cgi and the traditional animation together work pretty strangely though, and it often doesn't flow super well. 7.5/10

So I'm a Spider, So What: Dubbed version which honestly isn't that bad. Took me a bit to get into it, but after realizing that it's got a mismatched timeline a la The Witcher, it made so much more sense. Heavily done in cgi, and you can definitely tell between the 2D and 3D animations, but not the worst in the world. I went in not expecting much but it ended up being an Issekai I can stand and even enjoy. On god has a decent story... with the spider. I'd be a liar if I didnt say I skipped some of the human parts just to get back to the best part of the show. 8/10.

Somali and the Forest Spirit: I'm so fucking nostalgic for this thing it makes me want to go and hug my dad. About a human girl under threat of being eaten with a monster-dominated world. Very obvious "humans fear what they don't understand" message but instead of the humans learning tolerance it's what happens when they get annihilated first so like, kudos for the mangaka for having the guts to do that. I cried like a baby regularly. It's really good, I watched the dub and ID WATCH IT AGAIN!!! 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Oh my god. O h my g o d. Fell in love on the first episode, ngl. About if an immortal being learned how to be a person from scratch. I love it. HOWEVER. Keep a box of tissues on you at all times because you're gonna need them. I'm only on EP7 because that's all that's out right now but just know. I love it. Not for everyone but certainly for my "what do we define as human and the human condition" ass. 12/10.

Those Snow White Notes: A sports anime without any sports. About shamisen playing which is cool because I never realized how cool this instrument was??? Its neat af. OP1&2 are by Burnout Syndrom so know theyre fire. Gonna be real, its pretty alright, but not extraordinary. You can tell they were using the characters as archetypes rather than actually characters which kinda kills a lot of the emotional value you could've had, but I'm still gonna watch it. It doesn't make me cringe as hard as other sports anime tho so I consider it toptier in that regards but if you're a big sports anime fan you might be bummed out by it. Every single musical performance is INCREDIBLE tho. A solid 8/10.

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun: THE ART OMFG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. Listen, if you took coptic markers and gave them an animation budget with some manga panel direction thrown in there, that's this anime. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. I'm in love with the aesthetic every second. Story? Really good. Characters? I love the MC and his evil little twin brother asshat. Demons? Not super imaginative but I'm carrying on happy as can be anyways. Dubbing? A bit shaky at times but I found the voices charming if a little off for some of them. I'm already waiting for the second season with popcorn at the ready. 10/10.

Prison School: I watched this directly after Hanako-kun and it was like I got slapped in the face by sweaty unwashed titties and some fedora wearing schmuck's piss kink. No character is likable or redeemable. I finished it, but at what cost? 2/10 and only because a character shit his pants and I laughed.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle: watched this right after Prison School and it was NECESSARY tbh. Its so CUTE and honestly, im not even kidding you, the fucking funniest anime I've seen in months. I watched the dub and the VAs are having the time of their lives working on this anime not just giving it their all but literally just going ham. Its great. If I read this im sure id be bored outta my mind but the VAs giving it a joyous performance make it an insta fave for me tbh. 9/10.

Sk8 the Infinity: i watched the dub with my bro and I can confirm that its a spectacular show because we both loved it and we have vastly different tastes. Incredibly SUSPENSFUL AND STRESSFUL for an anime about skateboarding but we finished it in a single sitting tbh. The last episode is not dubbed for some reason but we still loved it. Like if Free! was less obnoxious but the only fan-service here is Joe ♡ a beefcake who owns my lesbian heart. I think there's exactly one named female character tho and I legit couldn't tell you what it was if there was a gun to my head. So, over all, 9.5/10.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I'm going to be entirely honest, I went in thinking it was going to be a boring isekai of no value. I was right about the Isekai part. It was honestly pretty interesting and focused on nation building like you're playing civilization rather than the usual "Get Stronger" narrative or "Get Some Pussy" narrative most isekais take which is delightfully refreshing. Granted there are flavors of that in this which means it doesn't alienate the big isekai watchers out there, but it's not the whole dish and it doesn't make me want to cringe the same way others do. You've got a slime MC just vibing and building a nation of monsters nbd. Does lose points for making the female monsters more humanoid than their male counterparts but makes them back by only doing perfunctory fan-service and nothing that makes me want to cry... except the butt sumo episode but in fairness it was all a terrible dream. Literally, the MC refuses to dream anymore after that. solid animation, decent voice acting, decent story, made me realize how HUGE this is in the Light Novel community???? There's like 18 fucking novels and that's WILD. 8.5/10.

MANGA:

Spirit Photographer Saburo Kono: a one shot special by the mangaka of The Promised Neverland! Honestly a really delicate touch of both super creepy and really touching, and I'm not gonna lie I'm bummed that this isn't a bigger project but the single chapter makes it a good taste for their style. I've been wondering if I wanna read/watch The Promised Neverland and now I think I will. 10/10

Deranged Detective Ron Kamonohashi: from the mangaka of Hitman Reborn comes this Sherlock and Watson derivative! Not even 20 chapters out yet with a sort of spotty schedule, I honestly love it even thought it's exactly as you expect. HOWEVER. Kamonohashi the "Sherlock" character uses mental pressure to kill all confirmed murderers and it's up to Toto the "Watson" character to save all those people before Kamonohashi kills them! It's just recently introduced a "Moriarty" family of crime lords (not a big spoiler don't worry it was obvious) so the tension surrounding Ron's past is amping up rn. Personally, I think the art is GORGEOUS, the characters engaging, and the story quick enough to keep my interest. Most mysteries are solved within a chapter or two so you're not stuck 20 chapters into one locked room mystery which is just peachy tbh. RN, 10/10. If this gets an anime, I anticipate a legion of fangirls who ship the two main characters along with their many friends. I've been alive too long to believe otherwise.

Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro: Yeah I read the manga after I watched the show. A slower build than the anime, but it works for the format, if theyd done the same with the show then I don't think it wouldve done as well. Honestly? Cuter tbh but just as horny. You dont start really LEARNING about your character until like, chap 65 tho and no real "drama" happens until like 75. A good chunk of the chapters are like 8pgs so its a breeze to get through. I love these slow burn idiots of the century. 9.5/10 because you can DEFINITELY tell the mangaka does hentai too.

Yugen's All-Ghouls Homeroom: one-shot by the mangaka for Food Wars, it's no wonder there's this constant perviness from the MC, a guy who can see and exorcise spirits. Takes place at an all girl's finishing school with KICK ASS monsters tbh, kinda bummed its not longer. The MC? Blatant monsterfucker who is also a CONFRIMED monsterfucker???? Idk i vibe with that single emotion. Everything else is hit or miss. 7/10 for monsters and cool concept, lost points for the MC very pointedly being okay with admitting he'd wait for the teenagers to be adults tho. Creepy af. Could live without that.

Hell's Paradise: I finished the entire 127chps in 3 days and I was really enthusiastic about it 90% of the time thinking about how deep it was and then I actually thought about it and I ended up being very neutral about the whole thing tbh. The art is fantastic tho, but DEFINITELY deserving of the M rating. Tits. Tits everywhere. But not tits to be ecchi over, no, monster hermit tits on beautiful women-ish figures. Now generally I give that a pass but a huge theme in the story is that men and women are "no better than one or the other" but like, lady tits are what you see 99% of the time. Men tits are few and far between. I call bullshit on most of the "deep" themes is what I'm saying, so it's like the mangaka was trying for those deep thoughts but missed the margin a little too far for my preference. That being said, the MC is a married man who loves his wife which automatically makes him my favorite character so like... idk so many good things, so many misses, but overall really spectacular themes and imagery. Unique but classic all at once. It's getting an anime and I have NO IDEA how much censorship they're gonna be doing but they're going to be doing SO MUCH. Oh yeah, and one guy is a plant/human hybrid who fucks a 1000 year old plant-hermit which makes him a canon monster fucker. And one canon non-binary character who I, a nonbinary, actually like. So like... gosh I've got mixed feelings. 8.5/10.

Choujin X: From Sui Ishida, mangaka to the mega hit Tokyo Ghoul comes this brand new manga!... Of one chapter, lol. Not really binge-y because it's just the one chapter out right now but I'm already keeping my eye on it. The grasp on anatomy in the art is PHENOMENAL and you can see Ishida flexing his art skill which is great. Can't give a true rating but I'm giving it a tentative 9/10 because I'm excited to see more.

Shag&Scoob: technically not a manga, its an ongoing webcomic I binged an subscribed to in one day and I just think it deserves more attention. Starts off funny with "what if Scooby Doo had a gun" and has been led to "what if all cartoons are aliens that survive and receive their powers by the humans that love them in an epic war with Martians." On god, its good. I finished the current series in a couple hours so it's a breezy read, highly recommend it. 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Yeah I watched the anime and then finished all current 143 chapters in like 3 days. GOD IM WEAK. I don't buy physical manga unless I know I want to remember the story forever and I'm already budgeting for the current books out. Yeah, this is a good series. That being said, definitely not for the faint of heart or those who suffer under common triggers like suicide, molestation, death, etc. It's all framed as bad and necessary to the story don't get me wrong, but it's there and has lasting affects on the characters. Incredible story telling by the creator of A Silent Voice. Keep tissues nearby at all times. 12/10.

[figula]

nipped home earlier to put the ocado away while ana + ben got their boosters but ocado came so early that it was a wasted journey lol o well ... moving around is good

today’s miseryblogging (oh minor cw for mentions of historic, not current, self-harm)

im annoyed w/ myself bc i was really planning on using this few days to get back on top of work, but it was such a RELIEF to just not be battling constant terror that i just sort of sank into bed and didnt move unless absolutely necessary lol.

going home properly tomorrow and i wish i could say that i felt ready or rejuvenated or whatever but i just feel pure dread at the idea tbh and im embarrassed + ashamed of this bc like... imagine being ben rn like you literally throw up once (for non-contagious reasons) and your gf goes into a panic tailspin for like 3d and literally leaves the house and goes and stays elsewhere w/o saying one word to you LMFAO like... 🧍‍♂️ i think there might have been some improvement bc the last time he threw up in like, may 2016 (CRYING THAT I REMEMBER HTE DATES) i actually self-harmed so badly we had to go to the minor injuries unit LOOOOL (AND ANA’S DAD HAD TO DRIVE ME BC I COUDLNT BE IN A CAR W/ BEN. THE SHAME OF IT ALL??) like im laughing but genuinely like the amount of stress i must put him through for this is unfathomable to me bc ive never been in that position!!! anyway nothing of that nature happened this time at all and i do suspect if this month hadn’t left me flat on my back i might have been able to cope w/ it anyway bc i wasnt really recovered from the bludgeoning force of the OCD the past month (like he had a cold a month ago and we all know what happened then, and i dont think ive been able to get myself back on track enough in the interim to cope w/ this - my biggest trigger)

i asked him just now if it makes him want to leave me and he said no, not at all, and he loves me + isn’t going anywhere (and i mean we have been together for like, 9y at this point so none of this is a shock) but like - i can understand how this kind of shit would put a serious amount of weight on teh strongest couples and i do kinda live in fear of what is going to happen as we age? like what if he gets cancer? or like some kind of long-term illness? like genuinely what the fuck then?

i know that the answer is that i actually have to WORK ON IT, but it’s so god damn hard and awful lol

what would you guys do in my position bc i feel kind of at a lost end here - like as ive said before the OCD is the one diagnosis i have that really, really encompasses my experiences, but every single time ive reached out to the NHS they dont help, cant help, or wont help. and even if they wanted to help, it would be 12 sessions of CBT, after a year+ on a waiting list.

ben wants me to take the antidepressants again; i will, bc even tho i dont particularly believe in their efficacy, i have never felt bad on them either, so i think i may as well give them a go again. ben seems pretty convinced that i was a lot better on them but i think it’s just that whatever episode i was in was naturally time-limited bc it was based on real events (i.e. him getting ill - finite) and that coincided w/ going on the meds lol. but i dont begrudge him asking me this so whatever

my other plan is to get a private ocd specialist involved but its really hard to pick one bc none of them seem to do ERP (which i believe is the more up-to-date treatment for OCD) and there are no reviews for any of them, and i really fucking wish therapist reviews were a thing

[disaster-fruit]

could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?

I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it

This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.

I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)

But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.

Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again

It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.

They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.

In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.

I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.

Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc

Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.

Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.

Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.

But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.

They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.

Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.

Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.

Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much

I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.

Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.

Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.

When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.

Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.

They’re a very cute family yes yes

She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)

By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.

When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.

But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.

Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.

He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.

It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.

They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.

Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.

He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.

Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.

Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.

Again, poor tincho needs a break.

Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.

Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much.  Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.

[trixabke]

Hiii!! Your blog is the cutest omg🥺 i love the color theme!!

I saw that you have the request for HQ matchups open and i wanna try it even though its my first time (a romantic one pls)😅 my name is Elena, im 19 years old, my pronouns are she/her and im bi with a preference towards guys. Im a taurus (actually im writing this on my bday hehe) and my personality is INFJ though im an ambivert, i love travelling, im a tourism student, and i also love baking, going to museums, taking walks under the sun, having picnics and having fun, i adore arts and crafts too and table games such as trivial or card games.

Im tall, 175cm, and im kinda athletic, ive got brunette shoulder length hair and brown eyes too; im always trying to make everyone around me feel happy, im very sensitive and empathetic and others being okay makes me feel great, i love helping people and hate confrontation, im also very into feminism, body positive vibes and justice. I would say im a bit of a crackhead when i trust people and im also very smart, im a professional overthinker and very insecure sometimes. My ideal partner is someone whom i can rely on but also someone whom i can laugh hard with, im not the clingiest person but i love physical contact with my beloved ones, my love language is acts of service and sometimes physical contact, i want a partner i can trust in but also who is my best friend. I think my clothing style is parisian, my favourite season is spring and i love chocolate.

I hope this wasn’t awful and pls feel free to dm if you need anything!! Also you can totally ignore this and it would be okay too, I understand😁 i wish you a great May month and please hydrate yourself and stay safe💖

a/n: HI ELENA, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!! AND U DID PERFECT! ALSO, IM GLAD U LIKE THE COLOR SCHEME. HOPEFULLY, U LIKE WHAT I WROTE:)

if u see a misspelling, no u didn’t :’)

I match you with: 

Daichi: 

(honorable mentions: iwa, akaashi, and suna)

yall probably met while traveling tbh. He was rekindling an old friendship and saw you doing your thing- he literally thought that you’re the one girl he saw at the store and could not stop thinking about

ran into each other in a different place at a different time and different place, and it gave him an excuse to talk to you

this bitch was so flustered but managed to get your number 

that or yall had a childhood friend to lovers story, very much slow burn 

he wants someone who is not only his partner but also his best friend, so that’s one of the reasons he found you so intriguing 

I feel like Daichi also overthinks things, but I feel like it could be a learning difference, you help him, and he helps you when the overthinking becomes too much

adores the fact that you’re tall. He thinks you're a goddess for sure

loves your crackhead side, he will match the energy up to like max 95%, he will match it more in person than text, but he makes an effort to keep up the vibez >:)

this man is so loyal, will be your rock- need reassurance bam Daichi is there, need a break from the stress of life bam Daichi is there, need help again bam Daichi is there

with that being said, I don't think he is clingy. He doesn't like to see people he cares about down or upset, so he will be there for you but won’t force his affection

he isn't adamant about physical touch; he loves it but won't initiate it at the start

not huge on PDA

loves acts of service; he likes the fact you take time out of your day to help him. He really really appreciates it and will make sure you know how happy it makes him :)

defo a hopeless romantic

loves and admires your empathy so much. Also, he supports the message of body positivity and justice. He cares a lot about the world, and it is imperative to him  (bare minimum, I know, but he’ll treat u right >:))

AND SPRING DATES- JUST *CHEFS KISS* 

would be the type to take you to a picnic in the park and spoil you

long walks on the beach and then watching the sunset

making cookies at 4 am 

game night. after a long day just meeting up (just you guys or with friends) and getting some food and playing card or board games, he loves the fact you like card games because he thinks they are super underrated 

will buy you flowers and chocolates, he probably has a designated few days each month where he scedules to go get you flowers and sum gifts

overall a very healthy sweet relationship

u were the first person who asked, so thank you :)

[babyboibucky]

i have such a random question lmao:

ive been writing fics for a while now, and they get like very good exposure for some reason??? but like people only like it and once in a while a reblog or a comment.... and like no one interacts with me 🥺 like it would be so nice just to have people jump into my inbox 🥲 did it take long for people to start getting comfortable on your blog or is this just bc im so very insecure and introverted myself?? lmao💗

Hi, lovely!!!

Putting this under the cut because this might get long!

I started posting my fics last February and let me tell you, it took me a while to get where I am now. And I'm still wondering why the fuck my blog ended up being the way it is now ANJKCNAKJC I'm not complaining, I love it!

My fics back then always had like less than 100 notes on them. I mean, the first ever Project V piece I wrote only had 20 notes, all of which were just likes lmao. It stayed like that for idk, I think a month??? Do It Again, which was the first smut I posted here had like 10 notes for weeks. And it wasn't only until like idk last month when it started getting traction and I don't know where all those notes came from tbh

The thing is, don't let a slow start discourage you from doing your thing. Interact with plenty of your mutuals, respond to their posts even their personal ones. You'll be surprised at how easy it is to build real friendships around here. But when I say interact with a lot of people, don't try so hard by stressing over what you want to tell them. Just be yourself! People will probably see how fun it is to interact with you and that's how they will feel comfortable to drop by your blog!

Back in my old blog where I wrote fics for a different fandom, I would say my fics got very decent feedback. But I rarely had asks nor interaction there and I think it's because I kept to myself. I just post my fics, respond to the comments and yada yada but never really made an effort to actually start a conversation with my readers. Here though, when I started putting my thoughts out there no matter how random they are, some would respond and then it'll just turn into a genuine conversation. It might be hard since you're an introvert, but there are a lot of kind people here who are very easy to talk to! Even as random as "Do you like milk?" can start a decent convo (or idk maybe it's just me because I'm chaotic af) but simple conversations work wonders.

Also, don't be afraid to reblog your own work! I used to do that and it helped. Reblog old works every once in a while, it's one way for your new followers to discover your stuff. There's no such thing as shameless promotion when you worked so hard on something. If you feel like it deserves recognition, keep reblogging it! Maybe tag some of your mutuals who you think might be interested! Leave your fave blogs with asks too! Keep commenting and that'll give your url some strong recall. :)

It takes time, trust me!