#jú

[wadewicons]

selene gallio | black priestess icons

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[doppel-doodles]

Concept Cabin: Experimenting with the Lego style

Honestly I was just gonna practice drawing children in this style but it quickly spiraled from there I just have way too much fun drawing different body shapes and a tendency to go extra-

Some close ups just because I have them and a bpnus demon shui, I also made a bunch of notes for myself just so I don't forget stuff-

Incase anyone wants to do this as well here are all the body bases in the height chart, feel free to use this as reference!:> I don't think they are amazing or anything but maybe it'll be helpful to someone

[sapph0sim]

quick post of one of the sims in my current household : xiulan ! his existence is thanks to my lovely partner , i worked really hard on him … mostly for her … but god is he gorgeous 🤍

[cinematopeia2]

Filho da Mãe 2022 Susana Garcia e Jú Amaral

[hai7ani]

橘 (TACHIBANA/JÚ) haitani rindou

nsfw (smut) mdni

masterlist | playlist

part i / what would you do for love?

You think the summer of 2008 is bittersweet.

You did a lot of things back then -- finishing your gap year after graduating last summer and working a part-time job at a Family Mart in central town. Applied for countless of universities in Tokyo while questioning if it was really what you wanted to do. Experienced your parents' divorce and watched as your father cut ties and left you and your mother alone to pick yourselves up piece by piece. Lost your virginity to a boy you liked a lot and got your fragile heart broken by him after.

Not everything from that summer was bad -- you just don't like thinking about it a lot. There were good times and new experiences; yet the memories of you and Rindou will forever over-shine them and it always gets so awful that you'd prefer not to think about it so often because it only does nothing but makes your heart ache whenever you're reminded of that day and the day after.

A random afternoon in July and the two of you are spending the day kissing each other stupid in his childhood home. Rindou tastes like peppermint and tobacco and you cannot get enough of his lips -- so you keep on kissing him until your lips are tired and sore and he decides to pause for a moment to look into your ocean eyes.

You both come from a small town located in Kanagawa Prefecture. The people living there are warm like summer and were never cold like the winter; families care for each other as their own and that's also how you've come to know these two boys.

You grew up with the two sons of Mr and Mrs Haitani -- just born a year after their youngest and you follow them everywhere they go; from watching them play basketball at the park to climbing rooftops together of random shop lots in town.

One particular activity you enjoy doing with them is having competitions on picking mandarins at the nearby orchard, and you will always hold those moments dear to your heart despite everything else -- because you were never good at picking mandarins but there will always be Rindou beside you sneakily throwing in a couple extras in your basket when the time's running out and Ran is loudly boasting about his basket full of the citrus. And you'll look into Rindou's and notice there isn't anything inside, because what was once in there were now in yours and he ends up having to clean Ran's room for a week as his punishment for not getting any. And the two of you will meet eyes when the older boy isn't looking -- he'll fist bump you, "I got'chu," with a bright, handsome grin and you'll always blush in return.

The boys left for Tokyo as soon as they turned 14 and 15 and they seldom come back home for visits. You don't see them a lot, just during the summer when they spend a few weeks over with dyed hairs and different piercings and when it happens you always get so happy because you get to leave their house after with a few gentle kisses snuck to you in the kitchen while your families are busy chatting on the dinner table.

This summer, you're 19 and Rindou will be turning 20 soon. Ran had just turned 21 in May and it makes you feel a bit sad when you think about it -- the three of you used to hang out every day while fooling around at the park and talking about the future and now all of a sudden they're in their 20s and you don't talk a lot.

The brothers are spending the holiday back home and when the news broke you immediately ran over to their house, your flip flops loud against the tar road and the boys hear you before they see you. You hug Rindou first, Ran next and the older boy says he got you something and you grin brightly at his words. Rindou tugged you behind when he made sure Ran is walking ahead and is not going to look back and he kissed your rosy cheek as a greeting. You giggled into his back and he simply pulled you along by hooking pinkies and he'd only let you go when his parents were in sight.

Then on, you stop by whenever your hands are free and you always bring something with you whenever you visit -- their mother has always loved a good gift and it never fails to have your heart warm and flutter when she pulls you close and kisses your cheek for your sweetness. You brought watermelons today -- Grandpa got a good deal from a family friend and said to take some along and give it to the Haitanis when you go.

Two empty cans of Asahi and neatly cut triangles of the fruit sits in a porcelain plate on Rindou's desk, all left untouched and soggy because neither of you thinks that watermelon is sweeter than each other's lips.

And they're chasing each other -- yours and his. Red, swollen, and a bit purple too from the teasing bites and harsh sucks you give to each other, but you don't seem to care and he pulls you close to his face again to sigh dreamily into your mouth when you sit on him just right.

If his mother were to come up here and ask for the plate back, you're sure she'd scream and yell and hit the both of you when she finally finds out what the hell is actually going on with her youngest and the girl living down the street who have been hiding in his bedroom with the door locked all day. You figure it'd be considered filthy -- you're sitting on top of Rindou who so obviously has a very difficult boner that's needs to be taken care of and you're grinding your hips on it slowly.

He moans when you press down harder and his hands fly down to your waist and he grips your meat tight. He holds and keeps you there and he rests his head on your shoulder.

You think it's a bit complicated between you and him. It's not like you're dating. You're nothing like a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship -- you've never had that talk before. You've never confessed your feelings either. And yet he treats you so differently than he does to the other girl living down the street -- Himeko, who have always treated him nicer than usual. She's nice to Ran, she's nice to you, but she is so much nicer to Rindou and it makes you see red sometimes whenever you spot them both standing in an alleyway and she passes him a bento box she prepared that morning or some handmade keychains she learnt at a workshop in school.

But Rindou will reject them every single time and you'll always get giddy when he walks over to you and ruffles your hair. "Let's go." And he pushes you forward with a hand pinching your nape.

Rindou sends you a gift every spring without miss and he writes you letters sometimes because you've told him before that you don't use the Internet often. There will always be a few snacks and keychains attached in the parcel; sometimes it's box and sometimes it's a big brown envelope. It depends on what he sends but big or small, you don't mind. You don't care. Because they're from him -- the letters are handwritten, gifts are handpicked and his hard-earned money were spent. It is all that matters.

You hide and kiss each other behind doors or when you think people aren't looking. You were 15 when you gave him your first kiss in your bedroom after you both had a little bit too much of his father's stolen beer to drink but he tells you he doesn't regret it the next day. You shook your head with a smile and said that it was never a mistake. You're not too sure if the kiss was his first too, but you remember that he was blushy when he inched closer to your lips and stamped a firm kiss on it. Rindou was 16 when he kissed you for the first time and you always hold it dear to your heart.

Since then, Rindou kisses you whenever he can and you always return it while pressing a thumb into his bicep as affection -- he's told you once he doesn't like it when people touch him there because he is training but he never pushes you away when you do it. Instead, he smirks and wraps a hand behind your neck.

Rindou never does those things to Himeko; he only does them to you.

And it makes you feel so special even though you've never established anything -- you're not exclusive. But he always holds your hand when he walks you home after waiting for you to finish summer school and he carries your bag on one shoulder while your swing your hands back and forth.

You're straddling his lap and Rindou lips part to say something but you're feeling a bit cheeky. You feel like teasing him because he's got a stupid smirk on his face. So you jerk your hip forward just a little and he moans. All the smugness on his handsome face disappears and a mouth-opened moan breaks through his lips so loud you had to clamp a hand over it to make sure his pretty noise doesn't travel any further -- you definitely don't want anybody to be catching the two of you like this right now.

He rests his head on the headboard and half-lidded eyes peer at you. He sticks his tongue out to lick your palm and you wipe it on his shirt with a scowl and he laughs. You're busy getting his saliva off your hand and he takes the chance to admire you -- his pretty girl who he thinks is so sexy right now with a strap of her tank top falling off her shoulder and the hem of it run up beneath her breasts, bun loose and stray hairs framing her pretty face.

And despite the rough and brave demeanour he presents to all the people who aren't you, Rindou is nothing but putty in your arms when he slides sneaky hands under your tank top and squeezes your mounds. You're shy when he fondles them like stress balls and you gasp when he pushes them up a little and squeeze even harder.

Rindou feels as though he's falling in love with you all over again.

But he doesn't tell you that.

Instead, he dips both thumbs into the waistband of your shorts and he pushes it down. He's blushing when the red of your lace is exposed and you're bold when you reach for the condom on his nightstand and put it to his mouth. He takes it as a cue to bite down on the packaging and rips it open. It's torn and you see the condom inside, but you don't take it out -- not yet.

A hand moves down to his exposed dick and your touch is electric when your pointer grazes along the vein running up to his angry tip and it turns dangerous when you wrap your hand around and give it a few pumps and strokes. He moans at the stimulation and pre-cum leaks from the slit and rolls down his shaft.

You think his dick looks so pretty.

You finally let go when you're satisfied at teasing him to take the rubber out with shaky hands and he watches with cloudy eyes as you roll it down his thick length. You drooled a little when you first saw it -- it's big and long and thick and you weren't sure if it was gonna fit. But he kisses your concern away and tells you to trust him -- and you trust him the most -- so you do. And you believe him when he tells you it wouldn't hurt so bad if you relax and let him do all the work.

And it didn't. It really didn't hurt at all when he pushes it in -- just a bit breath-knocking when he bottoms out and you whine into his ear that it feels good when he moves his hips like that. Rindou continues fucking you that way until you feel something funny bubble up in your abdomen -- you've touched yourself before and you're sure every other girl of your age has, but you've never felt anything like this while doing that and it makes you panic a little when it gets stronger and you doubt you can take it anymore.

"R-Rin, feels weird." Your mouth is ajar with soft gasps escaping and you tilt your head back on the soft pillow. He slows down a little to observe your body and control his strength to make sure you're not in pain, that he's not hurting you, but when he sees the pretty look on your face he smiles a little and continues. You roll your eyes back and grip his shoulder tight, nails digging into his skin and he hisses at the sting.

"Got'chu, pretty."

And you let everything go at it. Your thighs feels sticky and wet and you're so tired but you don't care because it felt so good -- he felt so good.

Rindou takes you in his bed again and again that afternoon; bending your bodies in different positions and kissing your lips so sweetly until there's not a single coherent thought going through your brain despite it being your first time because you think it was so magical. He made you feel so good and you know you want to do it with him again. So you don't stop until you're all spent and he loses it -- and by that he means moaning uncontrollably until his mother gets up to knock on the door and ask what is happening inside.

(She doesn't find out.)

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱

You sit with him side by side on a bench at the park later that evening after getting cleaned and sneaking out through his window. You're holding a plastic bowl of kakigori in your hands and he's sipping on another can of Asahi despite you telling him to knock it off -- alcohol is bad and he'll become addicted (you say that as if you don't drink as well) but he simply wraps an arm around your frame and forces your head to rest on his shoulder. "I'll be fine." He smirks and you smack his thigh as a warning.

A bunch of young children are running around the playground, chasing each other and giggling happily while you kick your feet in the air and feed yourself another spoon of the sweetened shaved ice. Rindou crushes the now empty can and aims it to the nearby bin -- it circles around the mouth and slowly, it lands to the bottom with a clang and he claps with a cheer.

You knee his butt with a laugh and he bends to pick a wild flower from the bush. "Did Waseda reply?" He asks in a soft voice while dusting dirt off the petals and shuffle closer to you. You lick the spoon clean and blink dumbly when a hand reaches up to tuck your hair away and slot the flower on your ear. He adjusts it with a smile and he thinks you look real pretty like this. "No. Not yet." You reply, a bit stunned from his actions and you grin when he ruffles your hair. "Todai replied, though. But I wanna make sure I have all my options laid out first." And he listens as you continue to ramble about the other letters of acceptance you've received so far.

"I hope I don't make the wrong choice. Can't imagine losing myself studying something I don't like or at a place I don't find peace in."

"You won't."

He lifts your chin with two fingers.

"Look up."

Instead of the bright orange sun and pretty sunset in the sky, all you see is a camera pointed at your face and the next thing you hear is a loud click.

"Hey!" You smack his elbow with an angry red blush and he cackles while shoving the camera back into his pocket. "What? You're pretty. Wanna look at you forever."

"'M not." You fix your hair out of embarrassment from his praise while making sure the flower is in place -- he gave it to you and you don't wanna lose it. It's a pretty one too. "You are. You're the prettiest girl in the world." Rindou says it loudly and you pout when a lady walks past while looking at the two of you with judgemental eyes. But he ignores her and he makes you ignore her too when he leans down to press a kiss on your forehead, hands snaking around your neck and your eyelids flutter at his gentleness. You wrap yourself around him when you stand up, the plastic in your hands tossed at the ground to engulf him in a bear hug. He blushes when he feels your boobs press against his chest but you press your lips on his neck, feeling his quick pulse against them and he thinks he feels a bit more normal now.

"I never wanna lose you." He murmurs it to your ear and your heart tightens a little at it. But you hear some kind of hidden message in his words and you rub his back.

". . . My money is tight, so Tokyo isn't confirmed. Waseda and the others are just options. I also applied to the community college just in case. And you leave tomorrow. If things don't go as planned and I don't go to Tokyo, I'll have to wait another year to see you." Your lips wobble a little when you say it. Waiting for Rindou to come back home every summer was never easy and you can only count on the letters and merch he sends for you to feel closer to his heart.

". . . I'm staying here another week. Ran is going back alone tomorrow." You loosen your grip on him and look up into his eyes to search for any lies and uncertainty in them -- but all you see is sincerity and warmth and love. There's a certain look on his face that you can't decipher, though. You don't know what it means and what he really wants to say but you choose to brush it off when you're reminded that he called you a pretty girl and cup his cheeks with a grin.

"Really?" "Yeah." "Stay the night then. Ma won't know if we're quiet." "'Kay."

Ran stands behind the two of you under a tree and watches with betrayed eyes as you kiss and hug each other under the 6pm sun. He stares down at the taiyaki in his hand and angrily dumps it away in a bin. Ran knew you liked taiyaki. But Ran never knew that you liked Rindou more. And he walks away with that newfound knowledge as a long and sharp knife to his chest.

"Idiot Rin." Ran scoffs and shoves his hands into his pockets. "So much for saying you don't like her. Where does that fuckin' leave me?" He tuts and doesn't look at where he's going because he bumps into Himeko on the way back. He looks at her and notice that she's crying, face red with tears running down her cheeks and she brings an angry fist up to hit Ran on the shoulder. "Didn't you like her? Why is she with Rindou?" She yells and pokes a finger into his chest and Ran doesn't push her away. He doesn't call her names when she starts getting violent by kicking his leg. Instead, he lets Himeko release all her anger on him and he can only bite his lip and look up at the orange sky. ". . . Beats me, 'Hime."

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱

You wake up at 2 in the afternoon the next day, head throbbing from a migraine and you pat on the area beside. It suddenly comes to you that Rindou isn't beside you in your bed. Though it makes sense, because it is halfway through the day and Rindou has always been a morning person.

But when you look around your room you realise that his stuff is all gone -- the Nirvana t-shirt that was hanging on the wall last night is not there. His metal glasses isn't on your nightstand. You don't smell his cologne in the air. There are no traces of him in your bedroom and you grow confused.

So you trot down the stairs with sore legs and cover your neck with your hands to ask your mother if she's seen him or Ran around. But she simply shakes her head and says that Ran took the first train back to Tokyo alone early in the morning. "Ran dropped by to say farewell. And he also left you something, it's on the table." She nods to the coffee table and you see a box on it. It's a bit big but you nod and look back at her.

"I didn't see Rindou, though. I asked Ran about him earlier and he said that Rindou will be gone for quite some time after this visit. I don't know what he meant by that but the boy looked sad when he said it. Maybe Rindou's already went back to Tokyo, I don't know. Or maybe he won't be coming back here anymore. Beats me. But I wish him the best, though. He's always been a bright kid with a bright future."

You run back to your room before your mother can finish her words and you call Rindou's number. You press the phone to your ear with shaky hands and it goes straight to voicemail. You dial his number again and again and pull at your hair when he doesn't pick up. So you spit it to his voicemail to go fuck himself for leaving you. You tell him that you never want to believe him anymore for lying to you. You cry that you are a fool for loving him. You love him. You loved him. "Don't ever let me see you again, Rindou." And you throw your phone at the wall angrily.

26 July 2008. Rindou was gone.

You went from seeing him every day to waiting for him to come home every summer and to not seeing him ever again.

And you laugh to yourself whenever your intoxicated mind travels back to the moment of you and Rindou in the park 7 years ago now that you're 26 and a working adult living alone in Tokyo. You don't bump into any of the brothers in the city. You lose contact with both and also Himeko.

Summer of 2008 is bittersweet.

And you weren't the only one who felt that way.

٩ ˊᗜˋ reblogs are appreciated & thank you for reading <3

[frostfires-blog]

Shiguang Dailiren/Link Click

Hanakotoba Analysis

Cheng Xiaoshi/Toki -> Daisy (Bellis)

Cheng Xiaoshi/Toki’s official flower is the Daisy (Bellis) as pictured on his official birthday artwork. Daisies are known as chú jú (雏菊) in Chinese and hinagiku (雛菊) in Japanese. This flower is associated with the meanings of “innocence”, “devotion”, “justice”, “charity” and “beauty” in English floriography. Its hanakotoba meanings are “peace”, “hope”, “beauty” and “chastity”. In Japanese culture, daisies are also often associated with new beginnings and are thought to bring joy and happiness to those whom it is gifted.  In China, the flower is mainly associated with innocence, purity, hope, and new beginnings. Additionally, they can symbolize simplicity, sincerity, springtime, happiness, and new love.  Cheng Xiaoshi is best described as someone with a good heart whose playful, stubborn and impulsive nature can be interpreted by others as being childish and irresponsible. He is extremely sensitive and deeply empathetic with a strong sense of justice. These characteristics paired with his impulsiveness often not only lead to him making decisions with his heart rather than his head—landing not only himself but also those around him in a myriad of tricky situations—but also result in him doing things that are in the best interest of others but are detrimental to himself. These traits tie into the flower’s meanings of justice, charity and devotion. His seemingly boundless optimism and upbeat personality complement the flower’s meanings of joy, happiness, and springtime. When Lu Guang was asked by Qiao Ling, what attracted him to Cheng Xiaoshi, he stated that it was the other’s naivety. This ties into the flower’s meanings of innocence, sincerity, purity and simplicity. Cheng Xiaoshi has the ability to enter the time of any photo by possessing the body of the person who took the photo. Using this ability, he is able to directly change the events within a 12-hour timeline of the photo (i.e., alter past events). This ties into the daisy’s meanings of new beginnings and hope.  Additionally, when using this ability, Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes turn gold-yellow which corresponds with the yellow-centre of the daisy.

Lu Guang/Hikaru -> Forget-me-not

Lu Guang/Hikaru’s official flower is the forget-me-not as pictured on his official birthday artwork. The forget-me-not (Myosotis) is known as wù wàng wǒ  (勿忘我) in Chinese and wasurenagusa (勿忘草) in Japanese. As its name suggests the flower is associated with the meanings of “true love” and “memories” in English floriography. Its Japanese name means “don’t forget me” thus associating the flower with its hanakotoba meanings of “true love” and “remembrance”. In China, the flower is associated with not only true love and memories but also fidelity and faithfulness. Lu Guang is typically calm, patient, responsible and uptight. Although not always blatantly obvious, Lu Guang cares deeply for his friends and always does things that are in their best interest. Although typically stoic and cautious, when those important to Lu Guang are in danger, he will break his usual calm façade and show anger and concern as well as pull off precarious manoeuvres to save them. These traits tie into the flower’s meanings of faithfulness and fidelity. Lu Guang has the ability to see everything that happens within a 12-hour timeframe after a photo has been taken. Photographs are able to capture important moments with loved ones in order to be preserved and looked back upon at a later date. Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi’s abilities rely on photographs and are used to analyse and manipulate memories, respectively. This further links Lu Guang to the forget-me-not flower. Additionally, when using their respective abilities Lu Guang’s eyes turn ice-blue whereas Cheng Xiaoshi’s turn gold-yellow which corresponds with the yellow-centred, blue blossoms of the forget-me-not, respectively. Click here for further analysis of Lu Guang given new information from season 2.

Qiao Ling/Rin -> Hyacinth

Qiao Ling/Rin’s official flower is the hyacinth as pictured on her official birthday artwork. The hyacinth (Hyacinthus) is known as fēng xìn zǐ (风信子) in Chinese and haiashinsu (ヒヤシンス) in Japanese. The hyacinth is seen as a symbol of sophistication, refinement, grace and elegance in English floriography. It is also known as a symbol of love and passion. It is also sometimes associated with rashness, games and rebirth. Its hanakotoba meanings are friendship, affection and “love beyond sorrow”. The bright colours of hyacinths are said to represent joy and happiness―and is thus seen as a gesture of goodwill when gifted to others in Japanese culture. In China, the flower is associated with good luck and fortune and is thus often used during special occasions and celebrations as an auspicious decoration. It is said that the hyacinth’s bright colours and cheerful blossoms bring prosperity and good luck to those who see it. Qiao Ling is best described as outspoken, expressive, and compassionate. She deeply trusts those she is close to and is very protective over them. Qiao Ling typically possesses a playful and upbeat personality. These traits tie into the hyacinth’s meanings of joy, passion, friendship and goodwill. Although often seen bickering with Cheng Xiaoshi―she retains an air of gracefulness and ladylikeness and often dresses very stylishly, which fits in with the flower’s meanings of elegance, grace and sophistication.

Official Art Celebrating 400 Million Views

In this official art the flower bouquet that Cheng Xiaoshi is holding might be his official flower the daisy (Bellis) but could also be camomile flowers. Camomile also known as chamomile is a daisy-like plant in the same family as the Bellis genus (Asteraceae family). Camomile is known as  yáng gān jú (洋甘菊) in Chinese and kamomīru (カモミール) in Japanese. In English floriography, the flower represents the concepts of having “patience in adversity” and “energy in adversity”. In hanakotoba, the flower conveys the meanings of “enduring adversity” and the “power to be born in adversity”. Both the English and Japanese meanings derive from the fact that camomile grows like a creeper on the ground and persists even if trampled on―even growing stronger the more it is stepped on. These meanings greatly complement Cheng Xiaoshi’s immense optimism, endurance, and perseverance that persists despite him being faced with difficult circumstances and harsh obstacles.

In this official artwork, Lu Guang isn’t pictured with his official flower, the forget-me-not but is instead pictured with a bouquet of statice.  Statice (Limonium) is also known as sea lavender and marsh rosemary despite not being related to either lavender or rosemary. Statice is known as bǔxuè cǎo shǔ (补血草属) in Chinese and sutāchisu (スターチス) in Japanese. Similarly, to forget-me-nots, this flower is associated with memory and remembrance. In English floriography, this flower represents “longing”, “remembrance”, “success” and “sympathy”. Purple statice in particular represents suppleness and elegance. The hanakotoba meanings associated with statice are “unchanging heart” and “uninterrupted memory”. The vibrant colour of these flowers does not fade even when dried. This attribute has resulted in its hanakotoba meanings “unchanging heart”, “uninterrupted memory”, and “eternal immutability”.  These meanings are similar to that of the forget-me-not and consequently complement Lu Guang’s character in a similar manner.

[If you liked this post, check out my other hanakotoba analysis posts here ❀ There are 2 other hanakotoba posts on Link Click on my blog...]

[P.S. If anyone knows which two flowers are in the very first image in this post (i.e., the season 2 key visual), please let me know so I can add them...I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. Also, if I've gotten any of the kanji, romaji, hanzi or pinyin incorrect, feel free to correct me]

[pajjorimre]

Mikor ilyeneket látok, kicsit mindig elönt a büszkeség. Lehet hogy zárványszerűen és párhuzamosan több helyen is elkezdték használni, de a mi buborékunkban került be az általánosan használt szókincsbe, szóval valamikor 20+ évvel ezelőtt a kisÓdor mesélte a svejci autóvásárlós kalandjaikat a kisSheriffel, ezek ketten óriási formák voltak, na és abban a sztoriban hangzott el annál a résznél, amikor a kereskedő nem akart engedni az árból semennyit se és a Sheriff persze semennyit nem beszélt semmilyen nyelven, de kurva ideges lett, hogy *AKKOR FÁK JÚ A GECIBE!*

Onnantól mi ezt használtuk és terjesztettük, szóval ez esélyesen fehérvári születésű.

A Sheriff egyébként irgalmatlan fószer volt józanon is, berontottunk valami kútra Németországban, cigit kéne venni, de ki beszéljen...? Na a Sheriff közölte hogy félre slapecok, én beszélek angolul, tökéletesen magabiztosan odaballagott a pulthoz, mélyen a pultos szemébe nézett, feltartotta a jobb hüvelykujját és hozzátette hogy Marlboro. Hát így éltünk mink akkoriban.

@tothjutka kösz a képet. :)

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[Comic] Hug the big lion when distressed (Lion Series)

Artist: 橘芝士 (jú zhī shì)

Source: ♡ || Permission: ♡

⌚ Please do not repost ⌚

[zeroz2ro]

Felnevettem! Wud jú lájk szom sorsjegy or biztosítás? KA-PA-RÓS!

[meinewellemeinstrand]

🎶 Hepi börszdéééj tú júúú, hepi börszdéééj tú júúú, hepi börszdééj díír Federicaaaa, hepi börszdéj tú jú! 🎶

Now that I performed Happy Birthday with a Hungarian accent (kinda), let's take a look at the presents!

Present #1: Flower for the flower. 🥀 ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

Present #2: Richard waiting for you in his boudoir in"draw me like one of your French models" pose 🎁 (yes, he's holding the rose between his teeth):

(This is a 100% realistic drawing of him, isn't it? Don't hate me please.)

Now that we hopefully are over this horrible sketch, let's continue with present #3. 👀

Present #3: Just to finally schenk dir was - a hug. (Which I hope we can re-create in Reggio Emilia.)

ʕ⁠っ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠っ⊂⁠(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠⊂⁠ ⁠)⁠*⁠.⁠✧

I'm glad we met. :) Buon compleanno! 💖

Thank you so so much Sonnenschein ❤️🫂 I'm definitely not joking when I say I'm crying 🥹

That drawing my dear... It's perfect. 100% realistic (tits and small nipples seem exactly his) and the rose in his mouth is just the cherry on top 🍒 He even has the eyeliner!

I love it so much just like I love you

And yes, you'll get the biggest hug in Reggo, you won't be spared ❤️ I'm so happy to have met you

[tecontos]

Trepei com o meu cunhado nessas ferias na praia (Julho-2023)

By; Jú

Eu me chamo Jú, adoro contos eróticos, por isso quis compartilhar com vocês algo que aconteceu comigo nessas férias de meio de ano pela primeira vez.

Tenho uma irmã mais velha, eu tenho 23, ela tem 28 e é casada com o Roger, um cara mais velho bem gostoso. Ele tem os cabelos grisalhos, mas tem um corpão malhado, ele é viciado em academia, uma delícia de macho. Sempre fui doida por ele mas nunca tive coragem de sacaner minha irmã.

Um dia deu ruim, meu cunhado fez um churrasco na casa de praia dos meus pais, encheu a cara e ficou mais carinhoso comigo, me abraçando, beijando, me elogiando. Ninguém via com maldade, porque ele era sempre carinhoso com todo mundo, mas dessa vez foi diferente.

Quando ficamos sozinhos, ele disse:

– Cunhada, você tá tão gostosa hoje, eu te comeria bem fácil, essa sua bunda nesse shortinho, tá uma delícia, me deixou de pau duro.

Fiquei chocada com a cara de pau, mas isso me deu tesão, fingi que não gostei, dei uma bronca nele e depois saí dali com a calcinha ensopada de tesão. Subi, tomei um banho pra ir na praia que ficava em frente a casa dos meus pais e quando fui me lavar, notei que minha bucetinha tava bem molhada, minha calcinha ensopada.

Toquei uma siririca bem gostosa pensando no meu cunhado, depilei minha bucetinha e coloquei um biquíni colorido de redinha. Fiquei bem gostosa, modéstia a parte. Tenho 1,68 de altura, 57 quilos, bunda média empinadinha, seios durinhos e grandes e uma barriguinha bem chapada.

Coloquei meu biquíni, atravessei a rua e fui tomar um sol na praia. Meu cunhadinho disse que ia me acompanhar e fomos na praia. Ele perguntou se eu queria que passasse bronzeador em mim, enquanto tava com uma lata de cerveja na mão.

Eu aceitei, a praia tava vazia, ele começou a me acariciar, fiquei excitada novamente e vi que seu pau tava bem duro na sunga branca. Ele me chamou pra entrar no mar com ele, eu fui e lá ele começou a passar a mão em mim.

Fiquei doida de tesão, senti os dedos dele brincando com meu grelinho, comecei a tremer de tesão e gemi gostoso quando senti os dedos dele me penetrarem bem gostoso, fazendo um movimento de vai e vem delicioso que me fez apertar os dedos dele com as paredes da minha vagina.

Eu segurei seu pau por cima da sunga e comecei uma punheta discreta, mas logo ele enfiou minha mão dentro, me fez agarrar seu cacete gostoso duro feito pedra e punhetar gostoso, eu adorei, minha buceta tava doendo de tanta vontade de foder.

Ele me puxou de costas, me mandou ir sentando em seu colinho e comecei a sentir ele encaixar o pau em mim, aí comecei a quicar na sua pica, eu nunca tinha trepadado dentro d´água, foi uma experiência deliciosa.

Ele me virou de frente, abriu minhas pernas e meteu o pau de novo, comecei a sentar, subir e descer naquela pica gostosa que preenchia toda a minha buceta, eu sentia como se fosse rasgar, de tão grossa.

Logo ele me chamou pra dar uma volta, fomos andando e quando ficamos bem afastados, a gente começou a trepar na areia, eu com as pernas bem abertas, arreganhada, e meu cunhado gostoso por cima.

-Ai cunhada, que delícia de bucetinha que você tem, toda molhada, queria tanto foder ela todo dia. Abre as perninhas pra o seu homem.

Eu abri mais as pernas, ele começou a bombar gostoso, eu só gemia, mordia sua orelha, arranhava de leve as costas dele e aquela pica gostosa entrando e saindo, o sacão dele batendo bem na portinha me deixou doida.

– Ai, mete essa pica vai, que rola gostosa, tá arrombando minha bucetinha.

-Você tava doido pra me comer né? então fode!

Eu tava louca, falava muita putaria pra ele, e quanto mais falava mais ele me comia, e eu por baixo rebolando no seu pau, mexendo a cintura pra aumentar as metidas e não demorou muito ele avisou que ia gozar. Eu deixei ele gozar dentro da minha bucetinha e depois fiquei piscando com a porra escorrendo todinha.

A gente se lavou no mar e voltamos pra casa rindo do que rolou, mas quando chegou a noite bateu a saudade e deu vontade de foder de novo, então a gente foi para um dos quartos da casa e novamente matei a vontade de chupar aquela pica gostosa.

Enviado ao Te Contos por Jú

[wadewicons]

t'challa | black panther icons

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[doppel-doodles]

How do you think your Ocs will react if they met my oc Star ⭐️

Here’s the reference

Ooooh! A very cute oc indeed!:0 she seems pretty young so here are guesses:

Shui and Arthur would adopt her no questions asked. She has parents? Sharing is caring! But too late she is officially claimed in the name of Allard oop- Jú and Bāoshí are a lot more chill probably act more like wine aunt and fun uncle? Jú is probably the only one looking for her caretaker.

Adrien would just chug her at Arthur and call it a day, him and little kids don't mesh well, his words not mine.

Klara is EXCITED immediately tries to befriend her and play together! Definitely gets out her monkey king plush after seeing her dragon plushie! They are best friends now your honour:> Katie would quietly observe from the side, Star definitely needs to take the initiative if she wants to be friends(or else Klara will-)

Mengtao is definitely internally panicking lmao, immediately looks for nezha because home girl has no idea what to do.

Between us: if you want your oc to not get horribly traumatized then she really shouldn't know Amia for more than 15 minutes- Also will use her to annoy the spider gang SOMEHOW.

Yúnlü will act like an older sister, very chill and fun to be around, just wiring and probably will take her to watch the Mario movie.

Lastly the bros! If she was in the woods Ming was haunting he'd just quietly lead her out, if she continued to stick around I think they would become buddies. Baí is a bit awkward but if she's fine with his silence he'll probably be like a cool older brother!

[telaviv-delhi]

Újra a lehetséges világok legjobbikában, Orbánisztánban, jaj. Ezek a lepukkant, sunyi és ellenséges tekintetű, depi bennszülöttek...

Arcod, mikor a LAX reptéri ellenőrei kiugratnak a papucsodból, majd ugyanazon lendülettel az összes accessoriestől is megszabadítanak. Szabálykövető állampolgárként kiürítem a zsebeimet, karóra, öv, telefon, aksi, kábelek, adapterek, kulcsok, útlevél, sapi, de még a két eJegyünket meg a creditcardot is bepakolom a tálcába. 20 perccel később a duty freeben erősen ráncos homlokkal keresem a kártyám, úrjézúúús, a security checking trayben felejtettem. Ügyvédem beveti a lemondó nézést, ohjaj, ezt a félkegyelmű orkot dobta nekem a kozmikus casino rulettje, ez van, ezt kell szeretni. Majd fizet.

Én visszarohanok a szekusokhoz, láttak már ilyent és bevetik a lerázós szöveget: melyik csekkpojton jött át?... Ár jú kidding mi?!!! Mindegyik csekkpojnt kurvára ugyaúgy néz ki!!! Jó, körbekérdezzük, körbekérdeztük, nincs meg, emilben érdeklődhet, tiltsale, letiltom.

Sikeresen beszállunk a repülőbe két hátizsákkal, két gurulós börönddel meg két dagadozó "útipárnával", amikben az Ügyvédem mesterterve szerint tollak helyett rucikat szállítunk. És igen, a mesterterv működik, a sokat látott sztyúvik arcrándulás nélkül begyömöszölik az "útipárnáinkat" valahova... Az Ügyvédem 12 melltartója természetesen már csak az én böröndömbe fért be, a bécsi reptéren néhány hete drogra is átvizsgáltak, mikor megtalálták az Ügyvédem virágos hajpántgyűjteményét... Nos, végre a gépen, Ügyvédem kikapcsolja a pánik-üzemmódot, mert már reményekedik, hogy talán mégsem késsük le a járatunkat és sóhajtva előveszi a Redondo Beach egyik étterméből tegnap megmentett rágcsát. Én is ellazítom a gyűrűsizmom, sőt leveszem a sapim, mire kihullik belőle két ejegy meg a creditcard. Ügyvédem hosszas, hihetetlenkedő nézése... hagyjuk.

Wien, ez már majdnem édesotthon, hazámhazám, plspls, késsük le a hazafelé vivő vonatunk, örökre.

[xiangqiankua]

word of the day: 存局候領 cún jú hòu lǐng / poste restante (a service where the post office holds the mail until the recipient calls for it)

[hai7ani]

橘 (TACHIBANA/JÚ) haitani rindou

nsfw (no smut/not suggestive), reader copes with alcohol, panic attack but nothing descriptive, arguments please proceed with caution

masterlist | playlist

part ii / everything

The year of 2015 and you are an alcoholic. It is a Tuesday night and you've just gotten out of an AA meeting that you'd deemed useless the first time you attended out of courtesy -- there is no amount of talking and sharing and clapping that can help relieve the ache of your heart. It is constant and heavy and you can never make it go away. It never goes away. And yet you still attend every week, every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday for the sake of attending because you are sick and tired of being alone. You feel lonely most days -- you are lonely most days.

You hear thunderstorms and figure that it is going to rain soon. You think to yourself while walking and you decide you are not in the mood to go home; you do not feel like dealing with the shitty elevator and your lousy neighbours tonight. So you huff and walk into the first bar you see and drink yourself stupid despite the concerns coming from your therapist.

Ex-therapist.

"Y/n-san, please try to cut down and control yourself with the alcohol. It is making your thoughts go worse and there's no health benefits either. We make progress and you seem to get better at maintaining your sobriety, but you'll relapse every time the topic of him comes up. This is not healthy, dear."

You fired her and stormed out of her office the moment she brings him up again while calling her a bitch. You told her to quit her job since she is so bad at it anyway. And you know it is not nice -- she was simply doing her job. You just didn't like how called out you feel. You said it before that you don't like it when she asks about him. You hate it when she urges you to open up about that summer.

Your vision is cloudy; you feel the world spinning around and everything looks distorted. Warm yellow lights shine brightly from above, a jazz band performing at the stage (their music is ass) that you're sure no one is listening to and you feel like puking so you gag but nothing comes out.

You swallow the saliva pooling in your mouth and laugh to yourself when you hear his words echo in your ears again.

"I never wanna lose you."

"Yeah, right." You snort and take another sip of the vodka in your hand.

This is what you're used to -- clinging on to a shadow of a boy you never see again and refusing to let go after all these years. The longing and waiting for him to come back to you turns into desperation and you drink yourself into an alcoholic who secretly has anger issues because it takes your pain away.

Or that's what you tell yourself and the others when they ask why you're alone at a bar.

You cry hard every time you drink; you think of him whenever you feel dizzy and your entire world is finally foggy and he is the only thought that comes up in your mind.

Drinking never helps you to take your pain away. It only helps you to think and relish in him and his love that you try so hard to push away during the day when there are countless of annoying kids tugging on your apron and telling you look at the new clay art they made. You cannot afford to collapse in front of people who are not him. You don't trust yourself to do it when he is not around.

You just miss him so much.

And you sob into the sleeves of your sweater when everything gets too overwhelming and you just want him to come back. You really want to see him again. You really want to tell him that the voicemails you left to him that day was all a lie -- that you still love him so.

"I never wanna lose you."

He never did.

It was you who'd lost him instead.

A hand wrapping around your wrist breaks you from your train of thought and you yelp in shock. It pulls you from the table and another snatches the glass away from yours. You go slack against the chair and huff with a frown. You feel that it is a man because of the flashy Daniel Wellington wrapped around his big wrist and you watch through blurry vision as he hands your glass of vodka to a passing bartender. "No more of this. Get me her bill." The bartender nods and walks away.

You poke his arm and frown deeper. "Hey, you. I was still drinking that." You don't find any energy in you to argue with him for snatching away your drink, so you squint through cloudy eyes and pouty lips as you try to recognise the man. But you shrug and figure he is just a stranger and probably a molester, or even worse, a sex trafficker, so you grab your bag with tired hands and stand to leave. You stumble back a little when the chair obstructs your foot and he places a firm hand behind your back to stabilise your swaying body.

"Tsk. Sit down. You're drunk." He tuts and snatches your bag away from you to place it back on the table. To say you are dumbfounded is an understatement. "Yeah, ya damn right I'm drunk. Leave me alone or I'm calling security. My drink isn't enough 'n now my bag ya wanna touch too. Asshole." You slur and muster up all the strength you can to kick his shin. He hisses at the striking pain and bends over to rub a hand over the area. "Jesus- still as painful as ever-"

But you sit back down nonetheless and take a deep breath, trying to regain your senses. You prop both elbows on the table. "Security," you mumble while leaning your head on your hands, "security!" You say it louder this time and it seems to have caught some attention with a few people nearby turning their necks and observing you with the man who is painfully calm about this whole situation.

You hear him sigh as he shuffles closer to you. He smells like expensive cologne with a hint of lavender -- it's a smell that is very familiar and you stun at it.

And it comes to you after a while when he smooths a hand down the back of your head and you feel like a little girl again. Tears spring to your waterline as you let him touch you. You watch as he rolls the sleeves of your sweater up to your forearm and feel as he gathers your hair to the back. He is gentle when doing all that and you don't feel any malicious intent coming from him anymore.

Because he is someone you know.

Security stands beside you after a moment but you ignore them as you try to focus on the way he is braiding your hair into a fishtail.

Like how he always used to.

A light yet masculine voice speaks as he secures the end of your hair with an elastic he pulled from your wrist.

"I know her. I'm a friend."

Security walks away after further confirmation that you cannot hear properly and you blink your droopy eyelids, trying hard to stay conscious but failing miserably when the alcohol finally takes over and you collapse on the table.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You wake up in someone's bed the next day. You don't recognise the room and you make sure your clothes are still on -- they are -- while hurriedly pushing the blankets off your body and standing up with a groggy head. The hangover is hitting hard and you hiss and yelp when you stub your toe hard at the foot of the bed.

"Morning." A voice greets from behind and your world stops spinning. Suddenly the hangover isn't there anymore and the voice is all you can focus on.

You turn around with wide eyes and see Haitani Ran standing by the door holding a cup of water and a pill in his hands. He walks over to you quietly and shoves them in your hands.

He looks so much different than before. No more long and braided hair in blonde and black -- it is now short and hangs loosely over his forehead in the colours of purple and black. Lanky body more pumped and muscular now -- he looks like someone legit and can be taken more seriously by people. Purple orbs that has never changed in intensity as they stare deep into yours who dulls when the memories starts flooding your brain.

"Ran."

He doesn't react other than nodding towards the stuff in your hands. "Take it. And I left some clothes in the bathroom. Take your time. I'll be outside with breakfast." He simply states with a soft yet firm voice and closes the door behind him when he leaves.

You drop to the bed and try to control your breathing with shaky breaths and a pounding migraine.

You feel your entire world collapsing around you. The strong border you've tried so hard to build with the outside world comes crashing down in an instant. The room feels like it is closing in on you and you rub at your eyes tiredly.

Suddenly you feel like the 19 year-old girl living in Kanagawa again.

And you cry.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Ran is sitting at the dining table eating breakfast when you exit his room. You've showered and got yourself dressed in some clean clothes he left for you -- a woman's clothes -- and you're shy when you pad to him, fingers fiddling with the hem of the cotton t-shirt.

You stop when Ran looks at you.

"Hey." He greets but you don't reply. Instead, you glance around and find that the house is well-decorated -- colourful quilted fabrics protecting the pillows on the couch and a vase full of baby's breath sits on the coffee table. There are many different photo frames hanging on the walls and on top of cupboards and you find yourself wanting to look at them. The kitchen cabinets are transparent and you see a lot of different snacks and instant noodles inside. The house is so lived-in and you can't help but smile softly.

You turn your head back to him who is already staring at your figure as he munches on a piece of bread.

You hadn't seen Ran in a very long time.

"Hi." You finally say it back and take a seat in front of him. He nods towards the cup of coffee in front of you and you move with shaky hands to take a sip. The handle is facing you and you feel a bit more refreshed when the smell hits your nose and you're reminded that Ran has always been attentive like that; like the times where he would cover the edge of the table when you bend down to pick a fallen pen up, or the times where Ran would shield you from a flying ball at the park and it hits him hard on the shoulder instead. The corners of your lips lift up while you savour the taste in your mouth and swallow with a satisfied sigh -- Ran has always made good coffee.

"So good." You murmur and place the mug back down on the table. Ran chuckles airily through his nose and pats the crumbs off his fingers. "Of course. It's Ran's Coffee." You laugh a little at that -- it's what you've always used to call his drink when he passes it to you in the kitchen of his old home.

Ran doesn't bring up yesterday and neither do you feel like doing so, so you choose to ignore it and eat while stealing a few glances here and there at him and smiling sheepishly when he catches you through eye contact. And you observe him openly now while chewing on some sausages -- he's wearing a neatly pressed white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and it is paired with black slacks. Hair is gelled and combed up instead of hanging over his eyes like before. You think he looks so much more mature now and you wonder if-

Your eyes travel down to his hands and find a very shiny ring on his fourth finger. ". . . You're married?" You stop chewing at the realisation and blurt it out with wide and glossy eyes.

Ran grins at your suddenness and nods.

"Been married for two years now." He pauses while wiping his lips with a napkin. And he takes a glimpse at your reaction, trying to search for something in them -- he doesn't, so he continues. "Got a girl on the way too. Her name's Yui. Just ゆい."

You beam brightly at his happy. "God. Congrats, Ran!" And you truly are so happy for him -- since young, Ran had always been a family man. He's always talked about marrying a pretty woman and starting a nice little family with her -- a boy and a girl to balance it out, he once said. And you'd swatted his arm when he'd wiggled his brows at you while his brother scowled and tugged at a braid harshly.

You'd never gotten the memo back then.

And you decide not to ask him about his wife and how they met nor do you focus the topic to his daughter who is on the way -- you figure it'll bring up some awkwardness to the table (it wouldn't, but you just want to avoid your feelings) and you wince a little when you're reminded of the things Ran had left you in that box 7 years ago.

For the rest of breakfast you both make small talk, and you'd made it a mental note to dodge anything that is personal. Although Ran is a very old friend and you'd immediately felt comfortable around his presence, he is still his brother, and you and Ran still have some unresolved issues that needs to be talked about -- you don't think you are ready for it yet -- but Ran doesn't asks you anything too deep. He doesn't bring up his brother too -- and you relax when he starts talking about himself instead.

Apparently he runs a tech company now. It was nothing like the field he'd used to daydream of being in (the fashion industry) and it shocks you to the core when you find out that it's one of the companies that is currently rising in popularity and net worth in Japan. So you open up a little to tell him you work as a teacher now -- you teach children handicrafts and help younger ones with reading and writing at a daycare centre, though your smile falters a little when he asks if it is what you enjoy doing. You were the girl who's never found out your passion for the entirety of your teenage and schooling years -- you still haven't now that you're an adult, but you don't tell Ran that -- and you nod anyway when Ran continues to share about a few of his wife's friends who are looking for a handicrafts teacher for their children too; he asks if it's okay that he recommends you to them and you give him your consent.

Ran stands to get your plate when you're finished and you stand too, the creak of the chair against the floor loud and you grimace a little at it. You don't know what for -- you know Ran well enough to know that he will for sure reject if you offer to wash the dishes at his house, yet you stand anyway, and you watch from behind as he places them in the sink while switching on the tap. The water runs loudly and your lonely eyes flicker around until it lands on the stuff covering the fridge -- magnets from different countries, a picture of an ultrasound of his unborn daughter at 7 months, some documents and pending bills . . . You think it is all a bit too heartwarming to look at and you reluctantly look away.

". . . Do you have work later?" Ran asks with a wavering tone. He sounds a bit uncertain despite it being a normal question and you blink. "No, actually. I don't have any classes on Wednesdays. It's my off day today." You pat down your shirt and move on your feet to help him tidy up the dining table -- pushing the chairs in, wiping the table, rearranging the coasters and clearing the leftovers stuck to the table cloth. You figure it is the least you can do for his kindness of letting you stay at his house for the night and making you breakfast in the morning.

Ran switches off the tap and dries his hands on a cloth hanging by the wall. He stares at your back and opens his mouth. "Can we talk-"

The front door unlocks.

You turn to the entrance with wide eyes and watch as it pushes open. You hadn't been made aware that Ran was expecting someone until Nobunaga Himeko walks in holding a bunch of stuff in her hands. It ranges from paper bags to recycled bags to a bouquet of colourful carnations.

And she is pregnant.

"Hi."

Himeko is all smiley when she sees you standing in her kitchen, wearing her clothes, and beside her husband who seems nonchalant about her entering the house. He pads over to her with a grin and kisses her forehead.

Your eyes look away from hers that are in thin crescents and shift your weight from one foot to another while picking on the skin around your thumb.

So it is like that.

"Love," Ran grabs the stuff from her hands in a hurry and shuts the door with his foot. "You're back." She nods and kicks off her flats, leaving it by the entrance.

Himeko calls your name in a soft voice and you look at her.

"It's nice to see you again."

She grins warmly and you return it without further words, albeit a little fake because you'd never expected her to be together with Ran, and she is pregnant with his child -- it is all simply too much to process and you take a deep breath when they both turn their backs to you. They whisper to themselves and you hear a bit of this and that -- just chatting about how her morning has been and he shares his plans for the both of them later tonight. They talk like you weren't even there in the first place and you bite the skin off your bottom lip when they continue to ignore you.

You connect the dots all by yourself after a while that Himeko was probably already home when Ran had brought you back here last night, that she'd seen you in a vulnerable state and all fucked up while smelling like disgusting vodka, and she's also probably the one who'd picked out your clothes and gave it to Ran to pass to you when you're awake.

"I, um . . . I should go." You blurt after a moment, finding no place for yourself in this house (damn right you don't -- this isn't your house, and you are merely just an acquaintance at this point) and you tighten your fist, the other hand reaching up to swipe away a loose strand of hair and tuck it behind your ear. Ran and Himeko looks back at your disappearing figure when you head back into the guest bedroom to grab at your dirty clothes. You shove them into your bag and carry it on your shoulder. While looking in the mirror you see the empty shell of a weak and despicable soul and you feel a panic attack bubbling up -- and you scowl to yourself when you remember your therapist's words, that avoiding your problems and past would only make things worse in the future.

When you exit the room in a hurry, Ran's voice boom in your eardrums and you try to control your breathing. "Can we talk?" Your flickering eyes glances back and forth between the couple, who are both donning a worried expression on their faces when you don't reply and instead breathe loudly through your mouth, trying hard to catch your breath and calm your feverish heart.

It'd just came so suddenly -- your panic attack -- and you don't know what for. Maybe because of the surprise from both Ran and Himeko being together -- you'd found out later that she'd harboured feelings first for the other brother back then. You'd also found out later that Ran used to harbour feelings for you way before his brother even did. And now the both are living together at an expensive apartment in central Tokyo with a baby on the way.

Or perhaps it is because the scene from 7 years ago at the Family Mart you'd worked in where Himeko had slapped you in front of your manager played in your head when you'd seen her just now, and your mind says that it does not want to relive the moment ever again; your heart screams that it does not want to feel the pain she'd induced on you ever again. And Himeko is scary when she moves closer and reaches a hand out to you.

"Please don't touch me." A lone tear escapes your eye and it rolls down to your chin. "Please. Stay away." The tear drips to the floor and you start sobbing while inching away and Ran is left dumbfounded at the scene playing right in front of his eyes. He does not know why you are so afraid of his wife who is also your childhood friend, and he is perplexed when he sees her reluctantly stepping back and rubbing a hand over her baby bump.

"What happened?" Ran is a bit furious when he asks it. Himeko stays silent at his question that sounded a lot more like a demand and stares down at her feet. "Hime, what is going on?"

She scratches at her head and you sniffle. "Nothing happened, Ran." You wipe your tears away and inhale the lavender in the air. It soothes you down just a bit. "I'm okay. Nothing happened between us. Just wanted to cry, it's all."

A big lie. Ran scoffs when you say it to his face -- it felt like an insult of you calling him stupid and Himeko is biting hard on her lip when you gather your belongings and walk to the entrance, but Ran is quick to stop you from leaving. He tugs back on your hand and you stop in your tracks when you feel the familiar warmth around your wrist.

"I have something to tell you."

"Not today, Ran. I have to go."

"Please. Listen to me. It's serious."

You try pulling your hand away and Ran only lets go when you click your tongue and hiss.

"Fuck off."

Fury engulfs your head and anger chains around your brain for just one second. And one second is all it takes for you to let it slip. Your eyes are wide, cheeks wet with tears when you realise what you'd just said.

"I am so sorry." You gasp, feeling so bad for letting the anger and hatred and rage you've been trying so hard to suppress all these years get to you and Ran is shocked at your sudden change in attitude. Himeko retreats back to their bedroom with a hand covering her mouth. You think she is disgusted with you, and you don't blame her for walking away.

Even you are disgusted with yourself.

Ran says your name again in an exasperated tone. His eyes are pleading for you when they look into yours.

"I have something important to tell you." He says it calmer this time and you finally give him your ears.

". . . It's about Rindou. Please listen."

Your heart dies at it.

It cracks loudly when Ran finally tells you.

And it crumbles to the ground when you'd fully processed his words.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

A group of grown men sits in a circle. Another woman stands in the middle as she reads from a piece of paper. They laugh and answer her questions while she fakes interest and indulges them for a bit.

That's all there is to it, really. A weekly thing where Bianca Taira -- a white woman from the States married to a local Japanese man who currently works in Japan as a certified therapist -- comes by every Wednesday and gathers a few people around to sit in a circle and share things about themselves while having fun. Not a lot of people take her seriously despite her fluency in the language and how she dresses up really professional to show up -- because in the end, that is still a woman in front of them. Most of these men have not seen a woman from the outside world for a very long time other than a few guards and visitors, so they take every opportunity to tease and have fun with Taira-san, who doesn't reject their attitude harshly but is private when it comes to being asked about her husband.

"So, anyway, enough of my husband, please. He is nice and a good man." She huffs with a small frown but is quick to disappear it as she adjusts her top. It is tight and obviously very uncomfortable -- Bianca had picked the wrong shirt to wear today -- but she'll have to cope for now.

"Let's move on to our next question, shall we?" She smiles brightly and the men nod in agreement. She looks at the piece of nearly crumpled paper in her hand and searches for the sentence.

"Oh. This is a fun one." Bianca chuckles lightly and Minamoto, a man who is sitting in front of her, beams at her hint. "C'mon, say it already." He motions for her to hurry up.

She clears her throat and reads it out loud.

"What would you do for love?"

Everyone is laughing and shouting answers when the question comes up. They seem to have a lot of ideas for this one and Taira-san grins. Her objective for holding this session has been accomplished and she feels nothing but satisfaction when the men around her are genuinely having fun while laughing at each other's responses.

And to her, it is nothing but a simple and fun question. Prompts a straightforward answer too. Everyone does different things for love. Everyone is willing to do different things for love, and it would be really interesting to hear different people's answers.

Bianca attempts to calm them down with a laugh.

"Okay, everyone. Please calm down. Let's start sharing our answers one by one, okay?"

She looks around the circle. She spins and spins and spins until her eyes land on a certain individual who has been very quiet this whole day. Which is not a surprise, he is usually very quiet, too -- doesn't share a whole lot about himself and minds his own business when around people but Bianca feels that there is a little something hidden behind those dark, purple eyes. She feels that it is part of why he is so quiet, and she is determined to make him open up his shell.

She'll start from today.

"Haitani-san."

The man looks up at her at the sound of his surname and he blinks. "Would you like to go first?" She is hopeful when she asks it. He'll usually shake his head as a pass and tell her to move on with the question when being called upon, but Bianca finds it amusing when he doesn't do it this time. Instead, he looks back down on the skin around his fingernails that have been picked raw and he sighs.

"What was the question again?"

Bianca grins.

"What would you do for love?"

His mind runs at it. He thinks and thinks and thinks but nothing concrete comes up.

He shrugs.

And Bianca is relatively shocked at his answer.

"Everything."

The men in the circle around him grow quiet immediately when he says his answer. No one speaks and he fidgets a little in his seat -- he doesn't like that the attention is all on him now, and he regrets it a little for replying to her question.

Only one guy snickers and he nudges his arm.

Minamoto's face is red as he laughs at the man, "seriously? What? Like you'd even kill for your girl or something? That's so corny, dude."

He shrugs.

Minamoto is a man who'd just arrived here not too long ago -- he'd claimed that it was for something minor and he'll be out soon in no time, but he'd quickly gotten close to most of the people here because of his open mind and bright laughter. But the other men beside him are men who have been around for a very long time -- long enough to know that whatever he says should be taken seriously, and what he'd said is true -- and they'd be a fool to doubt that he is lying.

That he'd do everything for love.

He doesn't say a thing at Minamoto's tease and looks out the window to his right. It is gloomy and seems to be a bit windy outside today -- a bit too similar to what he's currently feeling on the inside and it makes his stomach churn a little. So he turns back and stares at Minamoto who immediately quiets down when he sees nothing but pure darkness in his eyes. It reminds him so much of hurt and pain -- and for once, Minamoto quickly gets the idea and his smile falters.

"Oh, so-"

Minamoto is disrupted by a guard pushing the door open and entering the room, a handcuff in hand and she clears her throat.

"Inmate 103, a visitor for you."

Mizobe stands up abruptly at the guard's notice. He is an elder man who is sitting beside the said inmate and has been friends with him for a very long time -- at least long enough for him to know that this is a once in a lifetime thing -- and he gapes.

"No fuckin' way." He pokes a finger into the younger man's shoulder while pointing another at the guard who is waiting patiently by the door. "You hear that, Haitani?! A visitor for you!"

He says nothing but stands up straight at the call of his inmate number. He shuffles over to the guard with a blank expression but no one knows that on the inside, he feels as though his heart is about to fall out of his chest -- it rattles, jumps and skips beat after beat. And he lets the guard cuff his hands together while walking him out the door.

"Who is it?" He decides to bite when he slowly approaches the visiting room. He has never been here for 7 years already -- just once at the very start of his sentencing when his brother had visited to tell him that he is never coming back here again. "Tell me."

". . . You'll see." She says softly and uncuffs his wrists with a key when they stop at the entrance. The door is locked tight and he is confused when she tells him to turn around. "As far as I know I am not allowed to see people without cuffs." He states in an uncertain tone and the guard chuckles a little at his puzzled expression. She looks around to make sure no one else hears other than the few guards who are in shift. They all smile at him.

"It is your first visitor after so long, so we'll let it pass today. Just take your time, with her. No time limit." She motions to another guard to unlock the door and all of a sudden he doesn't feel like going out anymore.

He hasn't had a visitor in 7 years. Not once in his how long his sentencing has been going on and to hear that it is a her makes his entire being falter. From being a quiet yet strong guy in his unit, he is reduced to nothing but a coward when the guard pushes him out the door by the shoulders and he stumbles a little on the way.

And his heart stops beating entirely at the sight of a woman sitting by a table.

A woman that looks a lot like you.

"Rindou."

The doors close behind him. There is no one else in the room except for the two of you. Rindou hears nothing except for the sounds of your soft cries while you waddle over to him -- they came rolling down your cheeks like waterfall at the sight of him. 7 years later and you finally get to see him again, and your body reacts differently than what you'd expected it to. Your feet moves automatically, closer to his body and his breath fluctuates, in and out of his mouth when your cream coloured coat makes you look so small and you reach both arms out to him.

The bright orange jumper he wears makes him look a bit like the mandarins you'd used to pick together back home in Kanagawa. You cry louder at it and look down to grab at his hands. You whimper because they are so warm when you place them both on your face. A sigh escapes your lips and you turn your head to kiss at his left palm, then the right and his lips wobble at your gentleness after all that he's done. Your tears wet his skin and they move swiftly without hesitation to cup your soft and rosy cheeks -- his thumbs swiping the salty away and you sob in his hands. You hiccup and he pulls you close to his lips to kiss at your forehead. He doesn't retreat and doesn't dare look into your eyes either when you pull away.

"Rindou." You manage to call for his name again after a while and he finally meets your eyes this time -- and he sees nothing but darkness mixed oddly with so much love in them. "My Rindou." The purple orbs you've always loved admiring at fleets and his heart stutters in his chest.

He feels so undeserving of yours as you hand it over to him.

Rindou is in agony when he sees your crying face.

There are no more bruises on you, but you are still in so much pain, and it is all because of me.

It feels like murder to have put your heart through this, and he watches with aguishness as you cry and cry and cry. Because he'd done it. And putting you in so much pain and despair are his consequences to suffer.

He drops to his knees instantly at the sound of your misery. He kneels before you and you cry even harder when he wraps his arms around your legs and bows his head against your thighs.

"I am sorry."

Angry tears fall and drips to the floor as he continues to apologise.

"I am so sorry."

Snot runs down his nose and you hit at his shoulder.

"Stand up, Rindou. I'm not mad."

And you really weren't. You just thought he was stupid for it; that he was crazy -- fucking insane -- for actually doing it and not telling you -- hiding it and leaving you alone to think he'd left and doesn't want you anymore.

He only weeps harder and kiss at your thigh through your pants.

You're sure the Gods are criticising you for feeling everything but anger and hatred when you pull at his jumper to try and get him to stand up -- he doesn't budge and you give up. You're sure they are cursing you to eternal agony when you kneel with him instead and hug him close to your body -- you rub at his back like how you always did when he would come to you after a bad day. And you're sure they are sending the Grim Reaper your way when you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck and kiss on the skin -- you rub your face on his uniform like a cat and inhale his scent. It never went away. He still smells like the boy you've always loved. He is the boy that you've always loved.

And no sane person would ever understand you for being this close, this intimate, and this forgiving, to a person who had killed your father.

Only you would know why.

Haitani Rindou apologises to you first thing when he sees you.

And it is because he'd killed your father.

For you.

tag: @nana-osakii @idktbhloley ily

( ꒦ິ ཀ ꒦ິ ) thank you for reading! reblogs are appreciated <3

(i do not condone anything that has happened in this. this is purely fiction)