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imagitory · 4 years

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Just thought I’d share a little of my progress in the game Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery! Right now I’ve just started year 5, and yeah, while the game definitely isn’t perfect, I’m having fun! If you want to read more about my character, I put in a cut! (Sorry about my character holding hands with your character Alana’s bae, @weasleyismyking540 -- if I could’ve picked Chiara as Carewyn’s other half instead, I would have!)

My character, Carewyn “Cursebreaker” Cromwell, although she resembles me quite a bit visually, isn’t exactly like me, but one thing that she and I do share is a love of fashion! She changes outfits all the time depending on what she’s doing, from wearing all black when she was tailing Rakepick to wearing the Weasley sweater she got from Bill when she was trying to become Prefect. The outfit she’s wearing in her screenshots and in the biggest sketch I did is her usual “adventure” outfit, though she will break out the black version when she needs to be stealthy, like when she sneaked into the Forbidden Forest in fourth year. She also managed to become a Prefect, despite her disregard for the rules! In my head, I imagine it’s largely due to her maternal streak, rather than any astounding respect for rules and regulations: even if she’s a Slytherin, she likes protecting and looking after other people, especially social outcasts, since she herself has had to deal with a decent amount of people misjudging her.

Backstory -- Carewyn is the second child and only daughter of the half-blood Cromwell family. Her father, Evan Bach, was a Muggle who left his family when his son Jacob received his Hogwarts letter and his wife, Lane, revealed her magical ancestry to him. After that, both Jacob and Carewyn took on their mother’s maiden name, Cromwell. Carewyn was a late-in-life surprise for her parents, being born only two years before Jacob started at Hogwarts. Jacob disappeared when Carewyn was eight years old, and ever since, Carewyn has been starved for news about her lost brother. Part of her worries that Jacob -- a Ravenclaw who was kind of obsessed with learning and achieving every single thing he could -- has gotten roped in with some bad people or, worse, that he might not even want to be found, so as to not shame her or their mother or to keep them from harm. Whatever his reason is, though, Carewyn knows she has to find out what happened to Jacob and remove the shadow of the Cursed Vaults looming over her if she has any hope of living her life the way she wants. Carewyn is close with her mother, Lane, but has greatly downplayed her involvement with the Cursed Vaults so as not to worry her.

Carewyn’s biggest flaw is her pride. Although she’s made a lot of friends at Hogwarts, she has difficulty showing vulnerability and tries to be perfect in absolutely everything she does. If she doesn’t think she can do something, Carewyn tends to ignore it and/or pretend it doesn’t matter. To complicate matters, when she started at Hogwarts, she actually dreamed of doing all of the normal things Hogwarts students do, like joining clubs, the Quidditch team, and the Frog Choir, but because of her brother Jacob and the Cursed Vaults, she’s had to basically put all of her more selfish ambitions on the back burner. After writing to her mother for advice, Carewyn selflessly gave up her spot in the Frog Choir -- something she really, really wanted -- to Merula with the thought that since she earned the spot once, she could always get it back the following year when there would be room for both her and Merula, but even that ended up having to be put off because of her quest to find the Cursed Vaults. Carewyn enjoys watching and playing Quidditch, but is reluctant to commit to the Slytherin team because she’s afraid of letting them down. Carewyn is actually kind of a stick in the mud too! Unlike her brother Jacob, Carewyn is a meticulous organizer and planner who believes everything has its place, and despite liking Tonks and Tulip quite a bit personality-wise, she can’t stand the idea of most pranks, thinking they end up really mean-spirited and kind of stupid rather than anything funny. (This of course only makes her a fantastic target for pranks among her friends, who think she needs to lighten up!) Appropriate to a Slytherin, though, Carewyn can also be a little manipulative -- despite having a very strong moral compass, she isn’t above putting on an innocent face, playing mind games, or out right lying if it’ll help her reach her goals. She likes to look her best around everyone, both in her fashion sense and in how she behaves, and she hates it when her more negative impulses or insecurities peek through. Her biggest insecurity is her lack of control about her own life. Because she feels like she’s the one with the most drive to find the Cursed Vaults and break their enchantments, Carewyn has subconsciously assumed all responsibility for the fall-out and blames herself if anyone else is put in danger because of her search for her brother or because of the Vaults. She wants to control absolutely everything in her life, but the most she can control nearly all of the time is her attitude, her workspace, and how she presents herself, so she does so. Her greatest fear would be a threat she’d have no hope of controlling or overcoming -- namely, Voldemort.

Relationship-wise, Carewyn’s closest friends are Chiara, Bill, Talbott, Charlie, and Barnaby. She also really respects the eccentric Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team, Orion, and fancies Ravenclaw’s own “Style Wizard,” Andre Egwu, who shares her love of Quidditch and fashion. The thing Carewyn likes best about Andre is how passionate he is about his interests and therefore how much fun their conversations are. Fortunately Carewyn’s interest is reciprocated -- Andre and Carewyn attended the Celestial Ball together and have now been on two dates, one at Madame Puddifoot’s and one in one of the Hogwarts Greenhouses after a Valentine’s party hosted by Gilderoy Lockhart that neither of them remember very well. (META NOTE: As mentioned, I probably would’ve paired Carewyn with Chiara if ANY of the dating events would’ve let me, but I really like Andre too. And after choosing him for the Celestial Ball, it only felt right for Carewyn to stick with him, as I see her as a very monogamous sort, relationship-wise.)

Carewyn latched onto Chiara very quickly because of her “outcasted” status as a werewolf, and since then, she’s sort of become Chiara’s own personal Sirius Black, using her hawk Animagus form to keep Chiara company when she transforms. The Weasley family (Bill especially) sort of filled the hole that Jacob left in Carewyn’s life, but because Carewyn loves magical creatures, she really enjoys talking about dragons with Charlie and everything else with Barnaby. (Barnaby really enjoys whenever Carewyn sings to the creatures she’s working with to try to calm them down.) Carewyn was also pleasantly surprised to find out that Talbott enjoys poetry, given that she loves the arts (music especially), so she encourages him wholeheartedly in his writing, even if her enthusiasm kind of weirds Talbott out a bit. (He likes it, though.) Carewyn clashes most with Tulip (largely because of Carewyn’s aforementioned dislike of mischief), Ismelda (her sadistic streak turns Carewyn off big time), Skye (Carewyn was really upset when Skye started telling rumors about Erika Rath without any proof!), and Professor Rakepick (who Carewyn at present doesn’t trust at all, but will be play nicely with if it’ll help her find out what happened to her brother). (META NOTE: I also adore that Carewyn and Rakepick have some physical similarities, even though that wasn’t on purpose -- it just makes for great visual symbolism, considering that Rakepick is clearly trying to groom Carewyn as one of her apprentices!) Carewyn is also pretty protective of Ben and now Penny, since her younger sister Bea has gotten trapped in a portrait thanks to the Vaults’ most recent curse.

Although the so-called “Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts,” Merula Snyde, would love it if she were Carewyn’s main rival at school, Carewyn’s kind of gotten tired of the old song and dance Merula’s done with her these last five years and now tends to just ignore her terrible behavior. When Merula is willing to play nice, Carewyn’s glad for her help, but she honestly just isn’t interested in indulging Merula when she’s being awful anymore (which is often). And as much as Carewyn may think of Merula as immature and irritating, she knows that Merula had it rough growing up and that the two of them have a few things in common, like their love of music, and her mother (who was a Ravenclaw like her brother) would counsel her to choose the more peaceful route over active hostility. Carewyn wouldn’t call Merula a friend exactly, but she’s more of an ally of an enemy purely out of necessity, and for that, Carewyn shows Merula the base level of compassion and respect, but nothing more.

Carewyn’s favorite professors are Flitwick -- who taught her about Wizard Dueling and teaches her favorite class, Charms -- and McGonagall -- the one teacher who she respects above all others and would never have the heart to lie to. Being a Slytherin, Carewyn also trusts Snape’s judgement, even if she gets little of the standard favoritism from him: she was all too eager to try to help him spy on Rakepick. She also adores Care of Magical Creatures and probably would enjoy History of Magic more if Professor Binns didn’t teach the class, since her mother Lane works as a magical historian.

Carewyn’s love of magical creatures has prompted her to adopt several pets and magical creatures on the Hogwarts grounds. Her most constant companion is her orange tabby cat Mimi (named for the halfhearted “meows” she gives), but Tulip also gave Carewyn a toad she named Sir Robin the Brave, or “Robin” for short (kudos to anyone who gets the reference!!). At the magical creature preserve, Carewyn has trained a Niffler named Wicket, a Fairy named Belle, a Welsh Green Dragon named Esmeralda, a Porlock named Tumnus, and an Abraxan Winged Horse named Arjuna. Carewyn’s connection with her Abraxan is also beautifully reflected in her Patronus, which is also a Winged Horse.

I’m looking forward to seeing where my curse-breaking baby goes from here! For those of you who have advanced further in the game than me, I can’t wait to catch up with you!

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holdenmgrudges · 6 years

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Chapter 7 - Friendsies

And here’s the second promised chapter. More to come soon. The next one will be a bit more fun.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

He wanted to be subtle about it, but Spot just couldn’t think about how to ask her. He was walking Sarah home and they were talking about their days. Or rather, Sarah was talking and Spot was trying to bring up the subject on his mind.

“What’s on your mind?” she asked him suddenly.

He must have been obviously distracted. He stayed silent for a few seconds but decided to just come out with it. “Where are we headed?” In a very vague way.

“To my house?” The confused look she gave him almost made him laugh.

“I mean, you and me. Like, is this going anywhere? Are you and me gonna be a thing?”

“Oh.” They were both silent now, as she thought. Spot couldn’t help but feel that he could have done a better job bringing it up. He hadn’t meant to sound so presumptuous. “Well, we could be.”

“I mean, if you don’t want to…” Spot felt like there was something off. Like they were being too formal. There was no passion behind it. But he was a guy and Sarah was a girl and he felt that inevitably something would have to happen between them. At least that’s what his mother always told him.

Sarah hesitated again and sighed. “Can I tell you something in confidence?”

“Sure, yeah.” He looked her in the eyes to let her knew she had his full attention. It was funny how easily he could look Sarah in they eyes, when every time he tried that with Race, he had to look away.

“I’ve...never gone out with any guys.”

Spot raised an eyebrow. Was she telling him something? Was she confessing that she was...gay?

“I’ve been asked out many times,” she continued, “but I’ve never said yes. I just...I don’t know. Maybe I’m scared or maybe I just don’t feel it.”

“You don’t feel it?”

“I’ve never felt it.”

Spot could definitely relate. He’d been out on a few dates, but had also never felt it. Whatever it was. Whatever he felt whenever he was around Race.

“But maybe that’s normal, right? Like how people say they can feel the presence of God, even though it’s not actually a feeling? It’s just something you say, not something you actually physically feel. Maybe it’s like that. It’s not something you’re supposed to physically feel, but just something you say you do.”

Spot perked up at this. He felt like Sarah was describing him and his own feelings. She understood what he was going through. “Right. And even though you don’t feel it right away, you could grow to feel it. Like, how you can’t just fall in love right away, but you can fall in love over time.”

“Exactly!” She smiled at him, and for a second, Spot thought he felt something. Not sexual attraction, but something that could possibly grow into that. He felt like he could love her someday. That he could satisfy her and himself. That he could make his mother proud and live the normal life he’d always dreamed of.

“So...will you go out with me?” There was a more proper question that could have started this conversation.

“Okay, Spot Conlon. I’ll go out with you.” They smiled at each other.

“Cool.” Just as he said that, they reached her house. She waved goodbye and went in.

So that was it. They were dating. No actual date yet. No plans of going on one. No physical contact or attraction. No romantic feelings of any sort.

He turned to head home. He still had a smile on his face, thinking about what a success the conversation had been. He’d been worried for nothing. And now he knew that Sarah had similar feelings as he did. They’d make a great couple.

But what if they didn’t? Spot’s mood flipped as he thought about what it would mean to date Sarah. Because what if it wasn’t true? What if he never did grow to love her? And worse, if she did? What if he could never get all the gay thoughts out of his head and he just had to lead a life of lies and unfulfillment? He couldn’t do that. Especially not to Sarah.

His thoughts wandered off to all the things he’d heard before. That it was okay to be gay. Except, he didn’t feel like it was. It didn’t come from a place of religion, like a lot of homophobia did. It came from how he was raised.

His mother had always taught him that men were supposed to be with women. That people weren’t born gay, they learned it through manipulation and deceit. That if men were supposed to be with men, and women with women, nature would’ve found a way for them to procreate. That even if you had those thoughts, it was the action of homosexuality that was unforgivable. And those were just things his mother had said in passing.

As far as Spot knew, she didn’t suspect him of being gay. Though she did occasionally tell him to change a shirt because it looked ‘faggy’ on him. Or that only gay boys dye their hair. Or that if she had a gay kid, she’d kick him out.

It made Spot sad, but she wasn’t a bad woman. He knew she loved him. She took care of him when he was sick. She made his favorite food when she could tell he had a bad day. She watched all his favorite shows with him. She was practically his best friend. She was his mom and he loved her. He had to make her proud.

Spot got home and as he entered, his mom called to him from the kitchen. She’d made steak and potatoes. His favorite. Somehow she always knew when he needed cheering up. He ate cheerily and then they went into the living room to watch Netflix. Yeah, he had to make his mom proud and be the best little man he could for her.

No matter how unhappy it made him.

Katherine sat in English class, nervous about her exam grade. She was a perfectionist and ever since she decided to give up her social life, her only focus was her school life. Except, she hadn’t been doing as well as before. She was starting to think that having a social life helped her de-stress. Or at least helped her think better.

After what felt like forever, their teacher finally started handing back their results. She took a deep breath when she got hers. She stared down at the upside-down test, crossed her fingers, and prayed to whatever entity was watching over her that she’d gotten an A. Then she turned it over and exhaled. It was an A...minus.

Katherine nodded to herself. It was still a good grade. Still an A. She told herself she could do better, but that for now it was good enough. Maybe an extra hour of reading every night would help her out.

When the bell rang to let class out, she took her time collecting her things. She’d grown fond of the idea that the rest of the world would have to wait for her. From the back of the class, David came walking to exit through the front. She’d gotten used to saying hi to him every class. He seemed like a nice guy, and what he was doing for the LGBTQ+ Club was admirable.

She waved at him and as he waved back and smiled, he dropped his test grade. She bent down to pick it up and couldn’t help but sneak a peek at the grade. It was an A...plus.

And suddenly she was so curious by it. She wanted to read his answers and the short essays and wanted to know what had separated her minus from his plus. Who was this boy and where did he come from?

“Here you go,” she said, as she handed the test over. “Congrats on the grade.”

“Thanks,” he responded, shrugging, trying to play it off as not a big deal. But to her it was. “It’s nothing compared to your articles in the paper.”

“Modesty…is not a quality I would’ve pinned on one of Jack Kelly’s friends.”

“Uhh…” He shrugged again, clearly not knowing how to respond to that.

“Maybe you should join the paper.” She finished putting away her stuff and picked up her bag. “You’ve got to be a great writer to get that grade on the test.”

“You know, I’ve been considering it,” David said, following her out of the classroom. “My sister wants me to join.”

“Your sister?”

“Sarah.”

Her interest piqued even more. “David Jacobs...Sarah Jacobs...Huh. How did I not catch that?”

“Everyone seems surprised to learn we’re twins.”

“Well, you are different sexes.”

He nodded, as if she’d just pointed out something obvious. “Right.”

“Well, we meet after school in the computer lab if you do decide to join. But we do require some writing samples, just to see what you can write.”

He handed his test over to her. “Consider this my uh...application?”

“Will do, David, thanks,” she said, glad he’d taken the bait. They separated as they each headed to their next class. She skimmed through the test as she walked, focusing in on his writing. He wasn’t the best with words, but he had some great ideas.

After school rolled along and Katherine was surprised to see David was the first one at the computer lab. She took his exam out of her bag and handed it back. “You’re hired,” she said with a smile..

He smiled back, with a small laugh. “No interview?”

“In my paper, we let the writing do the talking.” She sat down at her usual computer and he sat next to her. “It’s still early in the week, so I can still assign you something if you’d like.”

“Might as well give it a try.”

“Good answer.” They discussed ideas for an article, and by the time they’d finished, Denton had arrived with Bill and Darcy. Sarah was the last one to get there, and looked surprised to see her brother.

“I’m joining the paper,” he told her and she nodded quietly. Katherine couldn’t tell if she was pleased or not, but she got to her work quickly, while Denton gave David a tour.

After, Denton had David sit next to Katherine to help her. She found that he was easy to talk to. He was quiet, but spoke up when he had something to say. If she ever did pick up a social life again, she would consider it for him. He seemed like one of those people she could just naturally be friends with. No hassle, no drama, like any good friendship was.

And then the conversation shifted onto Jack. He’d just mentioned him casually and she’d rolled her eyes.

“What’d he do to you?”

She quickly side eyed him, but he looked as if he knew he shouldn’t have asked her that. It was almost cute how sorry he looked.

“Sorry, nevermind.”

She focused intently on her computer screen, but for some reason she felt bad. “So he hasn’t told you?”

He looked surprised at her question. “No. All I know is you two dated and then...you broke up. He looks guilty around you, and you look angry around him so...Obviously he did something to you. But it’s none of my business.”

“You’re right. It isn’t.” She couldn’t concentrate on whatever she was trying to do on the computer.

“But I do know he wants things to be better between you two.”

She gave him a look that told him to go on.

“I’m probably not supposed to tell you this, but he’s drawing a portrait of you for his art class.”

She wasn’t impressed and let David know as much.

“The trust exercises in the LGBTQ+ Club are partly to help you two get to a better place. I think he just wants you to be friends again.”

“Well you can tell him I’ve moved on,” she finally spoke. “Maybe not as quickly as he tends to do, but I have.”

“As he tends to do?”

Maybe she just wanted to add fuel to the fire, because she was still upset over Jack. Maybe she just wanted a way to end the conversation. She couldn’t properly think. “That boy moves on quickly. And vastly. Girls, boys...He can’t help it. That’s why he and I never worked. So I’m glad it’s over, but I don’t want to be his friend. I don’t want to be his anything.”

“Sounds fair,” he said, with a sense of understanding. He looked down at his notebook, where he’d been writing down ideas. She immediately felt bad about her words, but she wasn’t going to bring the subject back up.

She turned and saw Sarah watching them, though not within hearing distance. They smiled at each other and then looked away. Katherine wondered why she was constantly sabotaging her friendships. She needed to stop.

“I just hate him!” Jojo wasn’t particularly listening to what Race was saying. It was just a rehashing of what he’d been telling him for the past few days. He focused on driving. They were headed to his place to have some drinks and do homework. “Did you see him in class? He completely ignored me. Like if I wasn’t there. Like if I hadn’t helped improve his grades. Like...like an asshole.”

Spot hadn’t ignored Jojo, however. He’d asked him for help and Jojo did. He’d already told Race that he was Switzerland on the whole subject. On the one hand, Spot’s comments were homophobic, but on the other hand, Race did try to kiss him. And he’d made that stupid gay bet, which Jojo had half a mind to remind him about. But he didn’t think either of his friends was a bad guy so he remained neutral.

“This is why I hate straight guys. If he even is straight. You make one little gay mistake and then they pretend like you never existed. Or like you’re the second coming of the plague. Their fragile masculinity gets the better of them and they reveal their true homophobic colors.”

“Think about the situation though.” Apparently, Jojo couldn’t remain neutral for long. He really just wanted to shut Race up about it. Which he did, in waiting for an explanation. “You wanted to prove that he was gay, and now that you have an answer, and you don’t like it, you don’t have a right to be upset.”

“That’s now what this is about! I’m fine that he’s straight. I don’t care. It’s the fact that he called me - my gayness - my pride and joy - a...lifestyle. As if that wasn’t offensive.”

“I mean, it is kind of a lifestyle.”

“Jojo, what?”

“Not the being gay part,” he quickly told him. “But you are very extra sometimes in the way you carry yourself. I mean, you just called your homosexuality your pride and joy.” Before Race could interrupt, he continued. “And your lifestyle is currently boning any guy you can, or making bets with me about who is gay. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, but you can’t say that’s not a way of living. I mean, look at me.”

They remained quiet as they drove. Jojo could see Race turn to him from the corner of his eye. “There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin either,” Race replied.

“I know, but to say that you and I don’t carry different lifestyles is wrong.”

“Okay, but we weren’t comparing lifestyles, Jo. He was saying homosexuality as a whole was a lifestyle. I can get whoredom and virtue are different, but straight and gay? It’s just who you love. And love is a lifestyle.”

“You don’t love, Race.”

Another pause. “I love you. Maybe not in a gay way, but you know I love you like a brother.”

“I know, Race. I love you too. But face it. This whole thing with Spot was all a game for you. You wanted to out him for a bet.”

“I wouldn’t have outed him to his parents or people at school or whatever. Just to me. Just to have a bit of fun.”

“Yeah, fun.”

Race looked down at his lap, as Jojo turned into his driveway. He parked the car and turned it off, but neither of them moved.

“Look, Race, if you want I can try talking to him. We can all get together and hash this out. I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding waiting to be resolved.”

“Why are straight guys so frustrating?”

“Fragile masculinity.”

They both laughed. Jojo took his keys and opened the car door to get out. Race did the same. Minutes later they were in Jojo’s room listening to music. Race made Jojo put on their Broadway playlist because they needed “all the gay muses.”

“Fragile masculinity is right,” Race then said, unprovoked.

Jojo was laying on his floor with his hands behind his head. He looked up at Race questioningly. The other boy was sitting on the bed, looking like he was thinking hard.

“Think about it. He totally wanted to kiss me back.”

“Race, what?”

“You weren’t there, but he totally did. He was staring into my eyes. He was talking to me about unwanted thoughts. What if they were gay thoughts? Yeah…”

Jojo rolled his eyes. He guessed Race didn’t want to patch things up with Spot. He’d just have to remain Switzerland between them for the rest of their lives.

“He’s gay, Jo. He just has a fragile masculinity and he doesn’t want to admit it. He said being gay was a lifestyle. What if he thinks that being straight is the lifestyle he needs, when being gay is the lifestyle he actually is?”

“I thought gay wasn’t a lifestyle?”

“No, it’s not. But in Spot’s mind it is. And he doesn’t want to live that life ‘cause he’s in denial! Because he’s gay. And he wanted to kiss me. That makes sense, right?”

“Sure, Race. Sure.” He was tired of being on the subject.

“I just have to make him see sense. I have to out him to himself.”

“I’m sure if he’s actually gay, he already knows.”

“Yes, Jo, he has gay thoughts, but someone needs to show him that it’s okay. That he doesn’t need to hang on to the idea of straight. That there are other options. That he can be happy.”

“And what if you’re wrong? What if he is straight? And you’re just thinking wishfully?”

“Then he needs to learn that being gay is okay. That even if he does think it’s a lifestyle, that it’s a good lifestyle. But I’m not thinking wishfully. He’s gay, Jojo. My gaydar has never been off.”

It was true, but Jojo still wasn’t sure. “Even if he is gay, what are you going to do to help him?”

“I’m gonna...I don’t know.”

“And if he’s ignoring you at school, what makes you think he’ll give you a chance to talk to him?”

“I don’t know. I need to find a way to trap him or something.”

“That sounds highly problematic.”

“I need your help. You said you wanted us to talk. So get us to talk. Lock us in a closet or something…”

“Lock you in a closet?”

“Yes, so I can help him...come out...of the closet. Get it?”

“You’re an idiot.” But then Jojo had a thought. It was a selfish thought, but one that could work for both of them. “What if we have a party?”

“Jo, yes! I like this idea! Tell me more.”

“We can play seven minutes in heaven. I’ll make him come, you can be here, and you two can literally be locked in a closet. It’s still highly problematic, but maybe with some drinks in him, he can come out or whatever…”

“You think so?”

“And with some drinks in you, you can come to your senses…”

“Let’s do it this weekend. Your parents are away. Your liquor has been restocked. You’re clearly dying to do it.”

“Alright, Race. Let’s have a party.”

“Fuck yeah!” They high-fived before Race pulled Jojo up so they could dance. They were going to have a great weekend.

#newsies #newsies high #newsies fanfic #javid #newsbians #sprace #jackcrutchie #holdenmgrudges #fanfiction #au fanfiction #jack kelly #david jacobs #sarah jacobs #katherine plumber #crutchie morris #spot conlon #racetrack higgins #jojo de la guerra

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