#jacob lemme smash

[drawfee-quot3s]

smash angewomon, pass ladydevimon

yeah, i'm with you

do- okay. first of all, lemme just say, i'm- i'm married-

- jacob, julia, + nathan

[jacobsbigmelons]

what if i said i was in fact jacob custos (lemme smash)

[honestlyitsjustsam]

much to think about….

[i-am-jano-shipper]

[lumpiya]

mates and shaw pack (mostly mates) gc but its stuff that me and my friends have texted

—————

Team Jacob

stinky: testing its ya boi

devil: testing testing

devil: is this thing on

cloth: poop poop

devil: SUP ITS YA BOI EREN FROM PARADIS ISLAND

cloth: doop doop

stinky: NO

devil: JUST POPPING IN TO LET YALL KNOW THAT THE RUMBLING IS UNDERWAY

devil: AND ITS PRETTY LIT

cloth: WHY DID YOU MEMORIZE THAT-

devil: IM DOING THIS TO PROTECT MY FRIENDS (who i sure hope survive this lmao gl guys)

—————

Team Jacob

cloth: NVM IG WE’RE TRIPPIN BABE

devil: YEAH YALL TROPICAL

devil: I MEANT TRIPPIN

stinky: HELL YEAH WE’RE TROPICAL

cloth: ON A TROPICAL ISLAND

stinky: ON A TROPICAL ISLANDDD

cloth: PUTTING ON LOTION. SITTING BY THE OCEAN

stinky: RUBBIN IT ON MY BODY RUBBIN IT ON MY BODY-

cloth: GET ME OUT OF THIS CAAAAAAAAVEEEEE

stinky: CAUSE ITS NOTHIN BUT A GLADIATOR GRAVEEEE

cloth: AND IF I STICK TO THE PLAN. I THINK ILL TURN INTO A LAVA MAN

stinky: I THINK ILL TURN INTO A LAVA MANNNNNN

stinky: we TRIPPIN-

—————

Team Jacob

stinky: we miss you guys :(((

devil: did u know that the wife of Cormac McCarthy, renowned writer of the novel The Road, pulled a gun out of her vagina and threatened him when they were talking about aliens?

stinky: nvm i don’t miss you

—————

Team Jacob

devil: wait… if yall have internet again… does that mean… WE HAVE WORK TOMORROW

cloth: fuck lemme just drive milo’s car into the cable shit

cloth: dw i got everything under control

stinky: HELL YEAH MVP SWEETHEARTTT

—————

Team Jacob

cloth: its so fuckin cold

devil: hollup

devil: why tf are you up

cloth: it was so cold i woke up

cloth: WHY R U UP

—————

Shaw-tys like a melody

babe: how did everyone sleep?

angel: GOOOOOOOD MORNINGGGG

ash: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

babe: WHAT ARE WE SCREAMING FOR?!?!?1!1!??1!?

sweetheart: BALLS?🤤🤞🏻‼️‼️‼️

angel: BALLS!!!!!!!!!!

milo: BALLSSSSSS

david: what the actual fuck is going on

—————

Team Jacob

cloth: ill bring the biggest thing i can find

cloth: that i can smash your head with

devil: the biggest thing you can find is deez nuts in your mouth

[devil has been removed from the group chat]

—————

Team Jacob

stinky: if i hear “dyna NA NA NA NA NA NA NA hey!” one more time im gonna plant a dyna NA NA NA NA NA in your little HEY

devil: CAUSE I-I-IM

stinky: istg angel i will literally bust your knees backwards

devil: STAYIN ALIVE STAYIN ALIVE-

—————

Team Jacob

stinky: i would rather be caught for tax evasion than get chased by a humanoid daddy king legs

stinky: if sweetheart runs, i hide

stinky: they may not be fast but its scary

—————

Shaw-tys like a melody

darlin: the audacity to assume i like butterflies

darlin: they are pretty bitches, but if they are a flying bitch, i will make sure they cant be a flying bitch

darlin: they’ll be a walking corpse

darlin: whether you are a pretty hoe, if u piss me off, its on sight

sam: all i did was ask if they wanted to go to the butterfly walk with me at the zoo

ash: I KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR YOUR BIRTHDAYYYY

—————

Team Jacob

devil: get a ass shoved up your dick

devil: wait a minute

devil: did i just

—————

Shaw-tys like a melody

angel: soooo we are just going to order roasted dick from HK cafe

angel: WAIT

angel: NO

babe: ROASTED WHAT NOW

milo: WHAT

ash: DJAKJDKSJDKD

darlin: I WANT SOME ROASTED PP

angel: NOOOO

—————

Team Jacob

stinky: are you ok

stinky: [pic of angel’s discord and they’ve playing mc for 5 hours]

cloth: they’re sad no one came to their birthday party

stinky: this you angel?

stinky:

cloth: BAHAHAHHAHA

—————

[afriendlyblackhottie]

Thoughts on Defending Jacob, I’m watching it right now and I’m Team Laurie at the moment. A lot of of people don’t like her but, I don’t see it.

I’m definitely Team Laurie. And I think it’s weird that people hold the ending against her because whenever their is a mom that sticks up for her lil baby too much people get mad but she’s there like holy shit I raised a little psychopath and was like lemme not sugar coat it and people were still mad and more mad than Andy constantly trying to be like yeah I know you saw our psycho baby trying to smash a child’s head in with a bowling ball but it was noooothing and shit like that is why I’m team Laurie

[blademinded]

EVIE LEMME SMASH. PLEASE.

@irishtemplar

“... have you been getting advice from Jacob... again?”

[haespoir]

honestly, i’d like to start this post off by saying thank you!!! never would i have thought that i would ever reach over 100 followers,,, so the fact that i’ve hit 1000 followers seems so unreal to me,, so thank you guys! for supporting my writing and dealing with my nonsensical rambling!! 

with that being said: in honour of reaching 1000 followers, i’ve decided to start a little series on my blog. i’ll be writing for five main groups: nct ( all units ), loona, twice, red velvet and the boyz. these are my favorite groups to write for though i’ve really only ever written publicly for nct. 

i’ve complied a list of 60 aus ( most are from this masterlist and i’ve just chosen the ones that i like ) and 20 songs so just pick one and send me a request! note: most things will be written in bulletpoint and this post will serve as a masterlist for everything! 

example requests: 

“competitive au #1 w doyoung?” 

“angst song #2 with sana?” 

if a prompt is taken, it’ll be bolded with the name of the idol next to it! i’ll also include who requested it uwu basically, it’s a first come, first serve type thing! you can also request more than once!

ok with that being said,,, have fun! 

songs

angst

01. [ younghoon | anon ] “love letter” jinsoul and kim lip 

02. “push and pull” kard

03. “rumor” kard 

04. “lady” exid

05. “see saw” gowon and chuu and kimlip 

06. “walkin’ in time” the boyz 

07. “hard to love” bol4 

08. “destiny” lovelyz 

09. “we were in love” t-ara and davichi 

10. “dont recall” kard 

fluff

01. “hi” lovelyz

02. [ donghyuck | anon ] “walk u home” nct dream 

03. [ heejin | anon ] “what is love” twice 

04. [ jaemin | anon ] “shine” pentagon 

05. “imagine” bol4

06. “nevermind” jeong sewoon 

07. “real man” the east light

08. [ doyoung ] “a girl like me” gugudan 

09. [ yuta | @jenofanclub ] “heart attack” chuu 

10. “the day of confessing my love” jo kwon 

aus

roommate aus

01. friend of a friend needs a place to stay before they get evicted

02. my roommate fell nd broke their arm in the shower,,, what do i do

03. [ yeri | @najaeminclub ] new roommate cooks for the first time and almost burns the house down

04. overheard you singing in the shower you sound angelic 

05. [ doyoung | anon ] your clothes ended up in my laundry and now im wearing your favorite tshirt 

enemies to lovers au 

01. you’re a jerk barista who purposely screws up my name when i order 

02. [ jihoon | @lovejihoonie ] you saw me crying and you weren’t supposed to,, why are u trying to hug me 

03. you come to the restaurant i work at and choose me as your server every time just to annoy me nd i can’t do anything or i’ll get fired

04. [ yuta ] look i know we haven’t said anything nice to each other for years and this is a bit sudden but can you hold my hand and pretend to be my partner for the next few minutes cause my ex is coming over and i can’t be on my own for this so lets just pretend we aren’t mortal enemies okay? omg, you’re saying nice things about me and your arms are around my waist and my heart is pounding in my chest and oh god no out of all the people i could crush on why you?

reincarnation aus

01. [ jaehyun | anon ] i meet and fall in love with you in every lifetime at the same age but your age is always different so it never works out and for the first time i’m meeting you when we’re the same age and i’m horrified that i might fuck this up

02. [ doyoung ] i skipped like four cycles of reincarnation and i know you’re pissed at me for leaving you all those lifetimes but it wasn’t my fault please please will you take me back

03. [ yukhei | anon ] i don’t know how to tell you this but the reason you didn’t see me in our last reincarnation cycle is because for some fucked up reason I was reincarnated as your dog

04. [ taeyong | @najaemini ] we keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because i can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least i keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

height difference aus ( specify who is the tol nd who is the smol pls !! ) 

01. [ jacob | anon ] you were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help

02. [ jeno | anon ] we’re both baristas and sometimes i have trouble reaching for things and i show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU 

03. we’re in art class tgt and i just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding” we’re on the bus and im really not trying to take up your space im sorry i just have rlly rlly long legs 

04. [ juyeon | @jenofanclub ] you’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious

05. you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die

competitive aus

01. [ jaemin ] we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust

02. i used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and im going all out for the next event

03. [ renjun | @najaeminclub ] a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if im going down you’re going down with me

04. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year i am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me i will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um

05. [ donghyuck | anon ] we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and i feel really bad here let me look after you

06. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

college aus 

01. [ momo | anon ] excuse me, I know we don’t have assigned seats in college, but I’ve been sitting in this one for eight weeks and it seems you’re in my spot

02. [ lucas | anon ] bless the spring semester stage combat class for practicing on the North Lawn, because watching my crush get sweaty and worked up while pretending to fight people really Does Things to me, okay

03. i was abroad last semester and forgot to fill out the housing form, but your old roommate dropped out so hi, hey, how’s it going, I guess we live together now

04. both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where its meant to be 

05. [ lucas | @najaemini ] we live in halls opposite each other and i keep seeing you changing through your window 

witch aus 

01. listen, i know im new at this and all, but you screeching at the top of your tiny frog lungs isn’t going to help anyone, is it????? don’t you dare croak at me in that tone

02. [ jeno | anon ] we’ve been friends for years, so are familiars are really good friends with each other too. nd recently, while we’ve been doing witchy stuff, i’ve noticed that our familiars are growing extremely close and being affectionate towards each other. that’s weird because like our familiars are supposed to represent our subconscious and that’s not how we feel about each other at all… right?

03. [ seulgi | anon ] i borrowed the broomstick you keep in your wardrobe, and while i was cleaning up some lint; it suddenly shOT UPWARDS AND SMASHED INTO THE CEILING WHILE I WAS STILL HOLDING IT AND IT WON’T STOP MOVING GET ME DOWN FROM HERE I SWEAR TO GOD.

ghost aus ( in which one person is a ghost ) 

01. the neighbours asked one time if I had any roommates and i said no and they just looked really confused because they can always hear me shouting or talking to someone. yea, my neighbours think I’m crazy now, so thanks for that.

02. we’ve been arguing for a solid hour about whether Amelia Earheart actually died when the plane supposedly crashed; i don’t care if you met her one time when you were in purgatory. that doesn’t make a difference!

03. my ghost is really temperamental so i sometimes just scream “FUCK OFF” at it really loudly. it quietens down after that.

04. i’ve become so used to all the weird shit that happens in my house that when i invited people over and you were just throwing books around in the hallway, i completely forgot that they aren’t used to it like i am and now they just ran out of the house screaming. 

05. [ johnny | anon ] you’re a ghost and you scared me so much that i died and i literally rose out of the floor two minutes later as a ghost, now we’re stuck together for eternity and now i’m gonna beat your ghost ass.

06. CAN YOU NOT POSSESS DOLLS PLEASE IT’S NOT FUNNY AND IT”S JUST A DICK MOVE AND SCARES THE HECK OUT OF ME EVERY TIME

you know them but you don’t know them aus 

01. my friend can’t stop talking about how they want to set me up with their other friend so we start texting each other and they’re hilarious but shy about meeting and ALSO there’s a cute bike delivery guy who brings my mail at work and winks at me whenever i sign for a package 

02. [ sana | @jenofanclub ] i’m obsessed with a food blogger who writes about cheap ways to be gourmet in your 20s and i flirt with them over comments but they never post pictures of their face and ALSO there’s a really cute grocery bagger at the store down the street who teases me and always asks to join me for dinner and i definitely want to say yes

03. [ jaehyun | @jaehyunclub ] there’s an overnight IT person at school who always answers the phone when i call about a problem with my computer and i totally have a crush on their voice and their exasperation and ALSO the bakery down the street is always running out of my fave scones and the adorable person behind the counter can’t hide their amusement and i think it’s super rude but also super cute 

04. [ lucas | @najaeminclub ] my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he’s coming to the next holiday party and don’t worry he’s heard all about me too and ALSO there’s this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude’s got a good dick 

05. our kids are bitter rivals and the only time we ever meet is when we’re both called to the principal’s office and whatever maybe i think you’re kind of cute but your kid’s a monster and ALSO someone keeps buying the last everything bagel at my favorite coffee shop 2 minutes before i get there in the morning and has heard about my plight and has started leaving me bragging notes about it 

06. [ changmin | @lovejihoonie ] i hired a dog walking company and i’ve never met the person who comes to my apartment but they leave me really cute notes and they give my dog presents and i kind of love them because my dog does and ALSO one of the artists at this gallery opening is hella cute and i want them to paint me like one of their french girls

??? aus

01. [ jacob | @lovejihoonie ] im calling to cancel our date bc im actually in the er right now, sorry,,,, i mean,,, i guess u can come here,,,, bring me fries 

02. we’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up

03. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park

04. [ sunwoo | anon ] you’re infamous for being an asshole nd i had to sit next you in class. turns out you’re kinda nice one-on-one. 

05. i let you cheat with my answers on a test and then you got the highest grade possible nd now you owe me a HUGE favour.

06. i just got bowled over by your huge-as dog in the park nd now you’re profusely apologizing while trying to hold your dog off 

07. [ kun | anon ] i kind of naturally spoil people and like taking care of them, you’re always getting sick in class / feeling down in class nd omg i think the teacher ships us???

08. [ yuta | @najaemini​ ] you always like to make me embarrassed by leaning in too close or hitting on me, but i’m used to it now nd one day i decided to retaliate

09. [ ten | anon ] ok so when we were little i accidentally mentioned that i had a crush on you but i always thought you didn’t hear me because you just looked at me weird and never commented but now we’re in high school and omg you just introduced me as your boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate wtf we never discussed this!!!

10. [ donghyuck | anon ] why are you so clingy people will think we’re dating- i know we are but you’re the one who wants it to be secret you moron!

11. [ taeyong | @najaeminclub ] i understand that you’re my bodyguard but that was a freaking FRISBEE not a nuclear bomb jesus christ- hey why are you still on top of me and why have i not noticed how beautiful you are? 

12. you’re so perfect and i’m in love with you but i’ve never actually met you and you keep avoiding meeting up, so i called nev and max to help me figure out whether or not you’re catfishing me

13. [ irene | anon ] you had a party and i got really drunk and stole your toaster, so i showed up the next day to return it and you were really hungover so i made you breakfast (but i burnt all of it)

14. [ jungwoo | anon ] you have dimension-jumping powers and you’re mad that literally EVERY OTHER VERSION OF YOURSELF is dating ( insert idol ). then ur idol asks u out and is confused when u screams ‘FUCKING FINALLY, JACKASS!’

15. [ hyunjae | anon ] i suggested we play spin the bottle so i could kiss you, but now everyone else is kissing you except me :/

[honestlyitsjustsam]

[honestlyitsjustsam]

Jacob is the ultimate hype man i swear to god-

He hypes up Evie while they are being shot at, he hypes up every horse he rides, he hypes up every rook he recruits...

I mean-

[honestlyitsjustsam]

man, fuck it

Jacob Frye fancam

[honestlyitsjustsam]

[honestlyitsjustsam]

Real reason why he always wears a top hat

[honestlyitsjustsam]

im still trying to accept the fact that Connor is almost 2 meters and Jacob is only 1.70,,,,, he said short king rights or short king fights

[honestlyitsjustsam]

that’s it,,,that’s their ship dynamic
god its so dumb but i had so much fun while drawing it & thanks to this post asdfghj

[honestlyitsjustsam]

undefined

🙈yall jacob just sent me this 😳😭 i-i 😩dunno how to respond to that 💞💞