#jason todd lived in literal hell and he refused to go back so he tricked the stupid mortal that summoned him into being his anchor

[vikingpoteto]

we don’t have to dance (to the beat of their songs)

Chapter 1 on AO3

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Relationships:  (Gen) Tim Drake & Jason Todd

Tags: Battle for the Cowl, Alternate Canon, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Mental Health Issues, Past Child Neglect, Domestic Fluff, Canon is not valid I am, and I want them to be friends goddamnit

Summary: In the middle of their battle, Jason asks Tim to leave the nest and be his Robin. Tim decides it's not a bad idea, after all. ________________________

Jason is already having one hell of a bad night when he notices someone broke into his hideout.

He makes sure he isn’t noticed at the cave entrance even if he can hear two voices clear as day. He recognizes them, but that doesn’t mean his stomach doesn’t do a full somersault when he sees the Bat uniform. For a terrifying moment, he thinks the whole death thing was all a ruse and Bruce is back from a grave he’s never really been in. How fucked up is it that it makes perfect sense? That it’s not out of character for Bruce to just pretend that he’s dead for the sake of whatever ridiculous plan he’s following at the moment?

Jason takes a step back and closes his eyes, inhaling slowly.

“I owe you one, Catwoman,” says the man in the Bat costume somewhere down in the cave.

That’s right. That isn’t his voice. Jason forces himself to glance down again and he finally takes note of the things he should have noticed in the first place: the person in the Bat costume is shorter than Bruce, more slender and even his stance is less rigid. Less like a stoic soldier and more like a trained gymnast. Not the gymnast, though. That one must be tending to Damian’s ouchie back at the manor. As he listens to him exchange a few quips with Selina, Jason knows.

That’s Tim Drake.

His last meeting with Tim was far more pleasant than any interaction he had with the other bats, and that’s saying something considering he was in custody at the time. Still, Jason must do what he has to do. He doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t think he has many options. He didn’t expect to face Tim so soon, but maybe it’s better this way. After his confrontation with Dick and what he did to Damian, he might as well burn all the bridges. Like ripping off a band-aid.

Jason’s replacement is good, but he still has a lot to learn. He doesn’t hear it when Jason dashes towards Selina and knocks her out. He can only react by jumping out of Jason’s reach.

“Well, there goes diplomacy,” Tim grunts. “What do you think you’re doing, Jason?”

Of course he knows. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t.

“You look stupid in that get up,” Jason tells him.

“Pot, meet kettle.”

And that’s when he attacks.

Those few stupid words they exchanged make big difference and Jason hates it. He hates how confident Tim is that Jason won’t shoot him — confident to the point that he’ll exchange pleasantries with Jason instead of attacking outright, before Jason even has the chance to take a shot at him. If this were anyone else, Jason would call it a stupid mistake and end the fight, but he’s learned enough about his replacement. Tim doesn’t do stupid, not in battle. Everything he does once he’s fighting is calculated and Jason hated him for it for too long. He knows Tim was the Robin that Jason could never be.

The fact that he’s ready for it doesn’t mean he manages to dodge the kick Tim aims at his chin. The kid is simply faster.

Not that it matters.

Tim tries to kick his jaw again. Jason grabs him by the ankle. Expecting that, Tim tries to flip backwards. He isn’t heavy enough. Jason throws him at the wall as if he’s nothing but a ragdoll. Robin reflexes kick in and Tim rolls on the floor, using the cape to avoid bigger damage. He grunts as he gets back to his feet.

“I’m going to end your little masquerade tonight, Jason.”

“Oh, but I’m only getting started, Boy Wonder.”

There is a loud thud. Jason’s knuckles connect with his jaw hard enough to bruise, and a lesser man would have been knocked out. Tim flips away almost gracefully, as if they’re dancing. Jason expects him to back off. Tim lands and runs into his space. Jason crosses his arms, bracing for a punch. Tim ducks down on the last second and hooks his leg behind Jason’s knees. He doesn’t fall, but he loses his balance. Tim lands the next punch. Jason hears something crack and he isn’t sure if it’s his armor or himself. He backflips away from the kid, because he better gather himself.

“Don’t hurt yourself now,” Tim taunts, even if he’s breathless.

Jason rolls his eyes and grabs a handful of dirt from the ground. He almost takes pleasure in Tim’s indignant sputter when he gets dust tossed at his face.

By the time he opens his eyes, Jason is no longer in his field of vision, concealed by one of the many deceiving nooks along the cave walls. That’s the problem with them. They always forget Jason can be just as annoyingly stealthy as they can.

“Come on, Jason! Come out and play! So I can tear that cowl off your gigantic stupid head.”

He sounds annoyed. Jason smirks, despite himself. He presses a button on the side of his cowl and speaks into the comm.

“I don’t see that ruthless side of yours very often, Tim. I like it.”

Tim doesn’t move towards the sound of his voice.

“This place is rigged with speakers to throw me off, huh? I’ll still find you.”

The kid can stand his ground, Jason will give him that. He has brains and skills that make him a terrifying enemy. Too bad Bruce brainwashed him into being a freaking hypocrite. Too bad he’s still trying to figure out where Jason’s hiding, unaware that his enemy is right behind him. Jason gets a batarang from his belt.

Jason remembers a young face, his only visitor in prison. A boy that gave him what he needed to escape.

Instead of throwing the blade, he surges forward and grabs Tim’s arm. The kid gasps, but can’t react before Jason twists his arm into a lock and presses the batarang to his throat. The guard around his neck is resistant, sure, but still malleable enough to allow head movement and it’s certainly not strong enough to stop the sharp edge. Tim knows that. He stays very quiet and Jason can almost hear the gears turning in his head as he comes up with a plan.

“You have one chance to save yourself,” Jason says. He feels the stillness beneath his hands gain a new tension.

“What, you’re going to fight me without any dirty tricks?” he hisses.

“Come on, Tim. You know damn well there’s no such thing when your survival is on the line. I know you do. You’re better than this. Join me. Be my Robin.”

Apparently forgetting there is a sharp object pressed to his throat, Tim tries to look back at Jason. “ Join you? A psychopathic killer? Sure, why not?”

Jason twists his arm a little further, his grip tightening. He doesn’t like to hear him spewing the same meaningless bullshit Bruce preached. He forces himself to remember what he’s doing.

“I’m serious, Tim. You know you… we can do better. Why else would you help me break out of prison?”

“That’s right,” he grunts. “I let you escape. Now the lives you took after that are on me!”

He throws his head back hard enough to knock off Jason’s mouth guard and almost makes him bite his tongue.

It seems like Tim regained his will to fight. He moves fast and hits hard, barely giving Jason enough time to react. Their battle turns vicious, both charging into fast attacks and refusing to defend. Jason’s mouth is dry and it tastes like bitter copper for more than one reason, the clatter of kevlar cracking under fists and heavy boots makes for a nauseating cacophony. It was a mistake to think one of them — any of them  — could see things his way.

Burn those bridges down. If there is no way back, it hurts less that he can’t go home.

They clash in the middle in a battle of strengths. Tim’s first real mistake.

“I shot Damian,” Jason spits. “He got between Dick and I so I shot him.”

A step back. “No, you didn’t.”

“Why do you care? I heard the brat wants you dead. I got rid of him for you.”

“I’m more worried about you wanting me dead now .”

Except Jason doesn’t. He did shoot Damian and the kid was reckless enough that Jason could easily have made it lethal, but he aimed for the shoulder instead. It would’ve been better, it would’ve made his mission easier. If he truly could stoop low enough to be a villain like Bruce treated him, all of this would be so much less painful. He couldn’t. Still can’t. Bruce was right, after all. He’s nothing but a failure.

Burn it down. It’s too late to turn back now.

He roars wordlessly and springs forward. Thud . There he is in front of him, the man that did everything right when Jason did wrong. Crack . It literally doesn’t matter, though. Thud. Crack.   And all  — thud   — because  — thud   — he’s held back  — thud   —  by a risible moral code  — CRACK! Why are they too stubborn to see their way does not work?

Tim finally falls, drawing an arc that is almost graceful when his feet leave the ground and his limp body hits the stony floor with a bleak noise.

Now that he’s not moving, Jason can tell he’s grown enough that the suit fits him, but it’s still a little loose around the waist and the shoulders. He’s shorter than Bruce used to be, so Jason bets he had to roll up the pants before putting on the boots.

End this. They think you’re a villain. Show them what a villain is like. It’s only fair since they keep protecting the real bad guys.

Jason crouches down by his side. Despite everything they might think, he doesn’t enjoy violence. He does what must be done, what he needs to survive and to serve justice, but he doesn’t enjoy it. That’s why he prefers guns. Guns get the job done from afar and you don’t have to dwell on it. You can make those that deserve it feel pain, but it’s better than the alternative.

He came here wearing that suit to fuck with you. He’s smart enough to know how it affects you. He’ll stand in the way and grow more dangerous.

Jason can’t see behind the cowl, but he remembers Tim’s eyes are really blue. Not grey-blue like Bruce’s, but a bright blue like the sky in spring. The last time he saw those eyes they had a determined spark behind them. The eyes of someone that was taking a risk for something they truly believed. Dick had said before that Jason had been Tim’s Robin. That Tim used to admire him.

Burn it down. Jason raises the old batarang.

There is a whack so sudden and brutal that for a second Jason doesn’t know where it came from. Only when he falls painfully on his shoulder does he realize that someone hit his head with a freaking rock.

No. Not someone. Little Timmy, innocent and not that unconscious, managed to grab a heavy rock and knock Jason with it.

“No dirty tricks when your survival is on the line,” the kid says, his voice wobbly. His mouth is probably full of blood.

Jason laughs. That’s right. Tim is not a kid. None of them are, never had been. They’re soldiers first and foremost fighting a war that they can’t win, only death waiting at the end. How does that Fitzgerald quote go? Show me a hero and I’ll write you a tragedy.  

Except real life doesn’t need heroes, it needs realistic solutions.  Jason stands. Tim’s knees buckle under his weight and he coughs out something that looks like a tooth. Or at least a piece of one. The latest Boy Wonder falls on his face, his body finally giving in after the extraneous scuffle. That’s a hero's destiny, after all.

Jason stares at him, but doesn’t try to check his pulse or verify if he’s really out. Tim is not the biggest problem he has to solve now   — and yes, he sees the irony in making that decision, but he pretends he doesn't because he’s beaten in more than one way. Besides, there is still one person to confront. He should be coming soon when he notices he’s missing a sidekick.

He carefully removes the cowl from Tim and the kid doesn’t spring into action again. As Jason walks away from him, he decides he’ll offer Dick the same truce he offered Tim. Unlike with the younger boy, there is not a single part of him that thinks Dick might take him up on that. He just wants to make sure to cover all the bases. Tonight, Tim’s childhood hero let him down one more time. It’s only fitting that later Jason’s hero is the one that will reject him for the last time.

Heroes always die either way. He’s been there, done that. It isn’t fun. Jason doesn’t want to be a hero. Not anymore.