#jax.txt

[pridesabyss]

harassing a guy trying to donate books to children is still the craziest thing i think i've seen any shipper do in recent years

[sobblefan]

I was on tumblr when OFF got rlly popular here. can't wait to see zacharie fanart everywhere again

[sawbcnes]

thank GOD for the other scotty enjoyers out there

[jaxohearts]

I JUST REALIZED I DONT HAVE MY TWITCH LINKED HER FFS

[antiocheanism]

if eating a whole head of broccoli in one sitting sounds like a distant reality i have two words for you bitch.. honey. Fucking. mustard

[jaxximax]

I've put off Honor Mode in BG3 simpky because it doesn't sould like fun, but it's really bugging me that it's the only achievement I dont have....

[plural-affirmations]

i think i’m plural, but the main thing keeping me from really “labeling” my/ourself as plural, is that if i wanted to talk to one of my alters, i would have to talk for them (sometimes subconsciously), which, as i understand, isn’t really how it works.

any advice..?

Well I definitely can't tell you "yup, you're plural", but I can say that there's several different things that could be if you do decide to identify as a system.

Maybe try looking into the term "median"? I dunno if you've ever heard of it, but it might be helpful...? It's a system that's made up of facets, usually facets of one identity (like having different versions of one central person).

There's also OSDD-1A, which, to grossly oversimplfy, is kind of like the disordered version of being median.

Also... it's entirely possible to not be median or have OSDD-1A, and still have non-fronting headmates that you have to speak for. We're a polyfragmented DID system, and I'd say probably a good 85% of us don't, can't, or rarely front. So it's pretty common.

Basically? Research, research, research. That's my two cents worth, haha. I'll include some links to the stuff I was talking about.

Come back if you have any more questions! /gen

🖤💜💙💚💛

[healingpolyphony]

TW: ED talk. This post is from me, Jax, not about anyone else in my system.

There’s also pictures of two of my jumping spiders.

I’m at a really weird point in my eating disorder recovery where I can and will eat most of my fear foods with a relatively straight face.

Right now I’m eating soup. Soups always been an okay food, but I’ve also got two slices of bread. Strike one. With butter. Strike two. And I’m the soup itself I’ve added smoked cheddar cheese. Strike three. 100% me in the past would have an absolute meltdown over this. But I’m alright. I’m anxious and I’m feeling disgusted, but I’m pushing past it because it tastes good and I need food, especially cause I’m going to be continuing cleaning in a bit after I let things settle.

I’ve had a lot of things come up recently that’s fucked with my mental health and pushed me towards a relapse. And yeah I’ve definitely come close, and I’ve restricted a bit but nothing massive, so I guess I’ve technically relapsed, but I’m still doing alright.

I found my old ED blogs last night. Blogs plural. I think one was supposed to just be a general space for me, but I was so wrapped up in my ED shit that it leaked (burst) through anyway. I went through them a tiny bit, not even going off the first page, and yikes.

Struggled for a couple of minutes, then deleted them both. Part of me wanted to keep them, partly cause one of them had other things on that weren’t related, but I think I did the right thing? Idk.

Had another big trigger today. One of my biggest tbh. The reason I split. Wanted to throw things and s/h and vomit. But I didn’t. I cried a bit and started cleaning and sorting out the tarantulas and spiders.

And then I made myself food.

Spyro and Spring say hello to everyone that’s bothered to read the ramble.

[evergreensys]

🦋🤝⚔️

Oh, thank you for the ask!

🦋 — How many headmates do you have?

I only know of/have met about 83, but I've been told by our gatekeeper recently that it's 112! We're polyfragmented, so a good 20+ of those are fragments, but the alters I've met are all super cool people. I love them so much. Even the "problematic" ones or whatever.

🤝— Who was the first alter you discovered?

So, by sheer technicality, I discovered Jace existed when I was about. 3 and a half? I entered the name Jace into a PS2 game save file (and promptly forgot all about that until 2022 when he came out of dormancy). I discovered Ari at age 11-12 or so, but I thought he was an imaginary friend I just dreamt up. THEN in July 2020, one of our syskids managed to front randomly, scared the hell out of me, then I calmed down when I was like. "Wait. I'm a psychology nerd. This is just DID". So, y'know, I think I handled it pretty ok all things considered. Got professionally diagnosed a year later (2021).

⚔️— What does the system disagree on the most?

Lighthearted topic that isn't important? Clothing. Serious important thing? Probably what's best for us. Ask 100 of us what we think we should be doing to help everyone else, you'll get 100 different answers. But we try to find compromises, or at least something we can all agree to commit to! Like going to therapy!

[cmykaleidoscope]

Jax/anyone is wrong but I do like kinger a lot he's fun

[pridesabyss]

discussions cannot move forward until ppl realize roy isn't white. like canonically

[sobblefan]

my hopes for Legends ZA

hopes:

Grass/Ghost Meganium (one of my fave type combos)

We meet and fight all the gym leaders of the region, and they play roles in the story

Water/Fire Feraligatr

"yeah I'm just 3000 years old. that's weird, huh? haha" ??? what is even up with Az???

Diverse biomes in the city! Maybe they could be seasonal-themed? (A snowy city block for ice-types or something)

prayers:

double battles! (I don't think they would implement double battles in this format.) Maybe there could be a final fight, though, where you send out all your Pokemon because you're all fighting to save the city or Zygarde or something!

mega vivillon (i would want individual forms for every one, but we know gamefreak likes to consolidate forms in megas/gigantamax etc)

[sawbcnes]

gay love killed him

[darkxyzdragon]

even the staunchest "no hate in the tag" believers forget all their manners when it comes to shit THEY don't like

[antiocheanism]

john linnell from the 80s does make me a little bit insane and im tired of pretending it doesn't. tall, extremely strange, crooked teeth. that shiny brown autism stare. that turtleneck on his frail stick figure form. god

[jaxximax]

I have a job interview later today at my previous place of employment (I quit a year and a half ago) and my anxiety is peaked (which is one of the reasons why I left in the first place)