#jay stansfield

[therealefl]

“I Couldn’t Have Dreamed Of A Better Debut" - Birmingham City Man Expresses Delight After Late Winner

Fulham youngster Jay Stansfield may have only been at Birmingham City for a matter of days, but he has already became a huge hit with supporters, following his injury time winner against Plymouth Argyle on Saturday and he has expressed his delight following his debut goal in a post-match interview. Stansfield arrived at St. Andrews within the last few days, following a successful loan spell with…

[dw-flagler]

BLONDE WILDBOW CHARACTERS

Every wildbow character with hair color described as blonde or similar to blonde. Characters are listed in alphabetical order.

A character's category is determined by their debut appearance. Though Lisa Wilbourn appears in both Worm and Ward, she will be listed as a Worm character, and not as a Ward character.

WORM:

Ashley Stillons I (Damsel of Distress)

Ava ? (Cuff)¹

Brad Meadows (Hookwolf)

Carol Dallon (Brandish)

Crystal Pelham (Laserdream)

Dean Stansfield (Gallant)

Elijah Mathers (Valefor) (Later dyes white)

Elle ? (Labyrinth)

Emily Piggot

Eric Pelham (Shielder)

Gabriel Maxberry (King)

Glastig Uaine/Valkyrie

Greg Veder (The Worst)

Hero

Hoyden

Jaager Charles (Gasconade) (Appears ONLY in PRT Quest)

Jeanne Wynn/Brown (Citrine)

Jessica Biermann (Fenja)

Katherine Oldershaw (Grace)

Kurt Wynn (Harbinger/Number Man)

Leonid(?)

Lisa Wilbourn (Tattletale)

Marissa Newland (Sundancer)

Melody Jurist (Cricket)

Mike ? (Lightstar)

Missy Biron (Vista)

Mrs. Knott

Neil Pelham (Manpower)

Nessa Bierman (Menja)

Oliver ? (Oliver)

Principal Blackwell

Riley Grace Davis (Bonesaw)

Sam ? (Prism)

Sarah Pelham (Lady Photon)

Tammi Herren (Rune/Scribe) (last name presumed)

"Tom Moss" (Acidbath)

Victoria Dallon (Glory Girl/Antares)

"White Fairy"²

Blonde Adjacent:

Alabaster (white hair)

Kamil Armstrong (white hair)

Madeline ? (Winter) (white hair)

Paige Mcabee (Canary) (yellow feathers, hair unknown)

Polka (white hair)

Scion (gold hair)

Scrub (white hair)

The Simurgh (silver hair)

Worm has: 38 blonde characters, and 8 blonde-adjacent characters, for a total of 46.

WARD

Ashley Stillons II (Swansong)

Ashley Stillons III (Damsel of Distress)

Axehead? (Presumed)³

Bianca ? (Goddess)

Harbinger V (Limerick)

Hunter ? (Mincemaid)

Jay ?

Kathlee Rosenthal (Monokeros)¹

Lachlan ?

Lionwing

Moose

Mr. Drowsing

Nate ? (Reconciliation)

Paris

Rain O'Fire Fraizer (Precipice)

Ryan ? (Cradle)

Samuel Vasil

William Giles (Scapegoat)

Blonde Adjacent:

Anita Vera (white hair)

Christine Mathers (Mama Mathers) (silver hair)

Coiffure (silver hair)

Colt (Colt) (bleached hair)

Dino (silver hair)

Egg (yellow hair)

Engel ("glowing" hair)

Enyo (silver hair)

Foggy Idea (gray dyed hair)

Nailbiter (bleached hair)

Presley ? (gray-white dyed hair)

Vince Crowley (poorly-bleached hair)

Voltrage ("pale" hair)

Ward has: 18 blonde characters, and 13 blonde-adjacent characters, for a total of 31.

PACT:

Blake Thorburn

Chloe Duchamp

Diana Thompson

James Thorburn

Joanna Duchamp

Lea Duchamp

Lola Duchamp

Paul Thorburn

Penelope Duchamp

Peter Thorburn

Rose Thorburn Jr.

Rose Thorburn Sr.

Roxanne Thorburn

Sandra Duchamp

The Briar Girl

Blonde Adjacent

Malcolm "Fell" Atwell ("light" hair)

Pact has: 15 blonde characters, and 1 blonde-adjacent character, for a total of 16.

TWIG:

The Baron Richmond

The Duke of Francis

Duncan Lambsbridge

Emily Gage

Gordon Lambsbridge(?)

Helen Ibott

Jamie Lambsbridge

Jessie Ewesmont

Lord Carling

Lord King

Lord Leeds

Marcella

The Duke of Francis

The Twins (counts as 2)

BLONDE ADJACENT

Lady Glora ("pale of hair")

Lara (white hair)

Nora (white hair)

Twig has: 15 blonde characters, and 3 blonde-adjacent characters, for a total of 18.

PALE:

America Tedd

Anthem Tedd

Avery Kelly

Edith James

Eloise Miraz

Freak (of Freak & Squeak)

Gillian Ross

Liberty Tedd

Reggie the Composite Kid

Snowdrop

The Family Man

Ulysses Miraz

Wallace Davis

BLONDE ADJACENT

Mrs. Schaff (white hair)

Crooked Rook (white hair)

Gemma Duchamp (Grey hair)

Luna Hare (white hair)

Pale has: 13 blonde characters, and 4 blonde-adjacent characters, for a total of 17.

CLAW:

"Valentina's Mom & Sister"

Claw has: 2 blonde characters, and 0 blonde-adjacent characters, for a total of 2.⁴

Notes

¹ Both cuff and monokeros are noted to have dark hair in Ward while having blonde hair in their original appearances (Worm and WD Helena respectively).

² White Fairy is Mr. Gladly's girlfriend and a prolific redditor who is seen during the leviathan battle and the PHO greg interlude. deep cut. As a mortal enemy of greg veder, please treat her with appropriate respect.

³ Axehead is never seen in ward. However, Titan Skadi (who forms from Axehead) is described as having golden hair. I am presuming that this is from axehead the human having blonde hair.

⁴ Literally 1 person told me any characters from claw. i haven't read it. there's more than 2, but i haven't seen anything.

[themovieblogonline]

Jeymes Samuel’s 'The Book Of Clarence' Release Date Announced

The Book Of Clarence is the new movie coming from director Jeymes Samuel. You may remember director Jeymes Samuel for his breakout hit The Harder They Fall. That film went hard and features an all-star cast! Jonathan Majors, Idris Elba, Lakeith Stansfield, Regina King, Zazie Beetz, and more feature in that movie. The Book of Clarence looks no different bringing together another all-star cast to help tell a biblical story. We know that LaKeith Stanfield will be taking a central role in this film but now we know more about the story along with who's acting alongside LaKeith. Inspired by classic Hollywood epics set in biblical times, Legendary’s The Book of Clarence tells the tale of Clarence (LaKeith Stanfield), a down-on-his-luck denizen of Jerusalem embarking on a misguided attempt to capitalize on the rise of celebrity and influence of the Messiah for his own personal gain. It’s a journey that leads him on an exploration of the idea of faith and to an unexpected path of his own. We hear the movie isn’t a faith-based one. Along with Stanfield, the pic stars Omar Sy, RJ Cyler, Benedict Cumberbatch, James McAvoy, Anna Diop, Teyana Taylor, David Oyelowo, Alfre Woodard and Marianne Jean-Baptiste. The cast also includes Caleb McLaughlin, Babs Olusanmokun, Eric Kofi-Abrefa, Nicholas Pinnock, Micheal Ward, Chase Dillon, Tom Glynn-Carney and Tom Vaughan-Lawlor. Jeymes Samuels, AKA The Bullits, is getting a lot of attention after delivering 2 really good westerns. Jeymes' initial short film starring They Die By Dawn is outstanding and Samuels' The Harder They Fall is an amazing movie as well. It's no wonder that this director has captured the attention of music mogul Jay-Z to serve as Executive Producer on his projects. This film will be a biblical tale, which is notoriously divisive when it comes to audience reactions. I'm curious to see how the audience is gonna settle on this movie, with this story with this cast. I can't wait to see more from this movie and I'll keep you guys posted when there's more. That's all for now... Read the full article

[jrpneblog]

North End suffer the Easter Blues

A goal from Jay Stansfield midway through the second half was enough to send North End to only their second defeat in eleven league games. It didn't quite de-rail North Ends play off aspirations as much as it might with all the four teams in strong contention for that sixth spot losing. In truth this was a poor affair with quality being at a premium but we didn`t take our chances in the first half and we were made to pay later on in the game. Too many passes went astray in the middle of the Park and North End slipped back into their bad habit of giving the ball away far too often when possession had been regained. Once the home side had taken the lead we rarely looked like creating the golden opportunity to level the game and take, what would have been, a good point.

Ryan Lowe made two changes to the side that beat Rotherham on Good Friday with Noah Mawene coming in for Alan Browne and Jack Whatmough replacing Jordan Storey. It was a quiet start to the game with the hosts having the first chance on the quarter hour which was well saved by Woodman. On the half hour North End created a good opening but Frokjaer choose to pass instead of putting his foot through the ball. North End then had another opportunity though Mawene but the ball got stuck under the players feet and the chance went begging. I thought Brady was our best outlet in the first half down the left hand side and a shot from the Irish International was well saved by Ruddy. Birmingham hit the outside of the post a few minutes from the break but the 0-0 at the interval probably accurately reflected the first forty five minutes.

Now changes from North End at half time but it was the hosts who came out with more intent after the interval. Having said that chances were very few and far between in the early stages of the second half has both sides were finding it difficult to get momentum into their game. Half way through the second half came the decisive moment in the game as a tackle was missed in midfield by North End and as Lindsay went to clear he slipped. This left Stansfield with a clear path to goal and the striker raced forward to beat the advancing Woodman with a shot to his right hand side. It was a good finish to be fair and was certainly good enough to win this poor encounter. Millar was introduced for North End as we looked for a late equaliser but we never really looked like creating a goal scoring opportunity and the points went to the home side.

So a bad defeat for North End on a day we just didn`t look up to the task in my opinion. It could have been much worse save for the fact that Norwich, Coventry and Hull City all lost as well so we remain five points behind the Canaries, who are in sixth place, with a game in hand. Clearly, North End missed the influence of Alan Browne in the middle of the Park although young Mawene gave a fair account of himself as the replacement. This was only the second defeat in eleven league games for North End so it was hardly a collapse but with only seven games left and North End five points behind a win at a tough looking fixture away at Watford on Gentry Day is now looking a must if we are to have any realistic hopes of sneaking into the top six.

.

BIRMINGHAM CITY 1-0 PRESTON

.

WOODMAN 7

WHATMOUGH 6 LINDSAY 6 HUGHES 7

HOLMES 7 McCANN 6 MAWENE 6 BRADY 7

FROKJAER 5

RIIS 6 KEANE 7

.

SUBS

WOODBURN 6

MILLAR 7

OSMAJIC 6

STEWART 6

SEARY 6

.

MOTM: Robbie Brady

Attendance 24,511

Preston Fans 1,389 (5.67%).

[guardianseries]

Author Interview with Jay Stansfield @jaystansfield #childrensbooks #illustrator #TuesdayBookBlog

I’m delighted to share my latest interview with children’s author and illustrator, Jay Stansfield. His debut book, Meet the Squibbles is out now. I met Jay on LinkedIn and we’ve had great fun connecting and sharing our love of books (and all things northern!). In this interview we talk about the enjoyment of writing for children, and eating beef and chips with Mike and the Mechanics! About the…

[christmasunderground]

UPCOMING: Jay Stansfield & SAY - Christmas is... (2017)

UPCOMING: Jay Stansfield & SAY – Christmas is… (2017)

Self Released Buy: Bandcamp (Preorder) Popping over to Bandcamp for a second to find something new on the top of the new arrivals list, I don’t normally expect to find something I haven’t seen (there is not a lot of turnover this time of year), let alone something this promising. I often judge Christmas tunes by their covers, and it rarely surprises me. Jay Stansfield‘s Christmas is… sports a…

[xplainthexmen]

In which nobody’s ages ever make sense; Sebastian Shaw catches up on villain speeches; nobody puts Louise Simonson in a corner; Tabitha Smith has a bad day; Gambit and Bat Manuel have a lot in common; and Warpath outruns Adam X.

X-PLAINED:

X-Force #49-51

Haircuts

The return off Sebastian Shaw

Stansfield

A series of kidnappings

Solar-powered superpowers

Attempted murder

Memories

Cable as an audience surrogate

Tabitha’s new codename

The first Tick live-action series

Warpath’s running speed

Risqué

What gravity sounds like

X-leisure activities

Magneto’s human name/s

NEXT EPISODE: A Tale of Two Beasts

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

[therealefl]

Sunderland Suffer Further Blow In Attacker Hunt

Sunderland’s hunt to add to their attacking options has suffered another blow after seeing a €5 million bid rejected for LOSC Lille winger Alan Virginius, according to RMC Sport. The Black Cats have made no secret of the fact that they wish to bolster their front line before the end of the transfer window, and they suffered disappointment last night when reported target Jay Stansfield joined…

[jungleindierock]

One-Way Song - Billy Fisher Fitzgerald

Billy Fisher Fitzgerald is one of five tracks on the debut EP, Passionate Leave by One-Way Song, which was released on the 27th November 2018, via Hilltown Records . 

The record features vocals from Angus Macalister, South African model Danielle Roseler & Jay Stansfield. The video also features model Danielle Roseler. Below are videos for two more tracks from the EP, Dr. Spraza Lies and Riviera Nightmare.

Passionate Leave EP Tracklist

New Last Sun

Dr. Spraza Lies

Riviera Nightmare

Billy Fisher Fitzgerald

Post-Sex in the Mafia (Coda)

One-Way Song are an indie pop / rock collective from Manchester, England, UK, formed in 2017 by lyricist Luke Gilfedder and vocalist Angus Macalister. Taking their name from a poem by Wyndham Lewis

Links: Facebook | Twitter | Bandcamp

Dr. Spraza Lies

Riviera Nightmare

[fivestarjamz]

“A Change Is Gonna Come” by Sam Cooke (1964)

I was born in 1976. Everything I know about the Civil Rights Movement has come from a history book or television or the news. I have no relatives who can speak specifically to it either, as my mom and her family came to this country in 1971/1972. As someone who has experienced the past forty and change years, I can say that the fight isn’t over. We’ve got a long way to go. But I can say there has been definitive forward movement in the years since Selma and Rosa Parks.

I wonder what Sam Cooke would’ve thought had he not been murdered two weeks before “Change” was released. I do know (thanks Wikipedia) that he only performed the song once in his lifetime, viewing “Change”’s lyrics as spooky and ominous, which they kind of are. They are also defiant, mournful and hopeful all at the same time. A lot of complex emotions to wrangle with for a pop song, particularly one written by a singer who was looking to maintain mass appeal.  I don’t think so. Hell, people sing the song today and even though it evokes memories of a time that’s passed, most of the lyrics are still very relevant today. One thing that’s definitely not changed is the uplift that this song ultimately inspires. There is no doubt in Sam Cooke’s mind that a change will come. There’s no doubt in my mind that change will continue to come.

Random weirdness: “Change”’s R&B peak? Number nine. 

Four star songs between “Champagne Supernova” and “A Change Is Gonna Come”: “Chan Hitchhikes To Shanghai” (Grace Jones, 1986) | “Chance” (Meshell NdegeOcello, 2011) | “Chandelier” (Sia, 2014 + Puddles Pity Party, 2014) | “Change” (Lisa Stansfield, 1991) | “Change” (John Waite, 1982) | “Change” (Kelis, 2014) | “Change Clothes” (Jay-Z, 2003) | “A Change Is Going To Come” (Baby Huey...and for what it’s worth I like this as much as Cooke’s-almost, 1971)

[232seoul]

_Vinyl Up 232.co.kr _ Stevie Wonder – A Time 2 Love Album Sampler Funky DL – Unstoppable / Peoples Don't Stray (Remix) DJ Krush Featuring ACO, Twigy – Tragicomic = 悲喜 Compulsion Kissing Graham Massey – Juvenile Scene Detective Mylo vs. Lisa Stansfield & Janet Jackson – Lil Drop / Control The Drop Latin Side Of Soul – Latino Mambo (Latin Swing) The Three Degrees – New Dimensions Sounds Good – Midnight Music EP Paula Perry – Extra, Extra!! Cocoa Brovaz – Bucktown (Remix) Harlem World – I Really Like It / Meaning Of Family Craig David – 6 Of 1 Thing (Remix) Jungle Brothers – Because I Got It Like That Edan – Rapperfection Busta Rhymes – Woo-Hah!! Got You All In Check Eminem – My Name Is Rakim – The 18th Letter Fat Joe – Loyalty Jurassic 5 – Jurassic 5 EP Justice System – Rooftop Soundcheck Manuvers – Afluenza Various – Selections from Everybody Dance! Remixed Dance Classics E-A-Ski – Gangsta Funk Rude Rydims – Rude Rydims Experiment Notorious B.I.G. – Biggie / Would You Die For Me Def Dames – Set It Off! Asheru And Blue Black Of The Unspoken Heard – Truly Unique / Soul S-Tone Inc. With Toco & Friends – Onda Foxy Brown – Ill Na Na Jay-Z – Girls' Best Friend _ #232 #232seoul #좋은환경(232에서) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-MwgmfJjwX/?igshid=1gg4wjtaoq8l2

[jaystansfield]

My Christmas album is out WORLDWIDE today! Stick it in your Spotify Christmas playlist! Search for Jay Stansfield and get bopping to 'Christmas Is' #christmasrelease . . . #newmusicfriday #xmasrelease #alternativechristmas #xmas #Christmas #albim #album #snowmen #parents #presents #zombies #children #songwriter #songs #singer #jaystansfield

[guardianseries]

#BookReview Meet the Squibbles by @jaystansfield #ChildrensBook

#BookReview Meet the Squibbles by @jaystansfield #ChildrensBook

Title: Meet the Squibbles Volume 1 Author: Jay Stansfield Genre: Children’s Book Book Blurb At the bottom of Mr Pumpnose’s garden, not too far from you, there’s a world of little creatures – and none of them feel blue.  They’re wonky and squiggly, twisty and bibbly, some of them smell, whilst others are squibbly. But all of them smile to make life feel much better, so shrink yourself down,…

[pli1999]

Party Like It’s 1999 8/5/17

25 Years of Single Females Edition

Jewel - "Who Will Save Your Soul"

Aimee Mann - "That's Just What You Are"

Bonnie Raitt - "Something to Talk About"

Tracy Chapman - "Give Me One Reason"

Bjork - "It's Oh So Quiet"

Annie Lennox - "Walking on Broken Glass"

Lisa Stansfield - "All Around the World"

Jane Child - "Don't Wanna Fall in Love"

Jessica Simpson - "I Think I'm In Love With You"

Jennifer Paige - "Crush"

Melissa Etheridge - "Come to My Window"

Donna Lewis - "I Love You Always and Forever"

Alanis Morissette - "Ironic"

Sophie B. Hawkins - "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover"

Natalie Imbruglia - "Torn"

Meredith Brooks - "Bitch"

Sheryl Crow - "All I Wanna Do"

Cece Peniston - "Finally"

Paula Abdul - "Opposites Attract"

Britney Spears - "...Baby One More Time"

Christina Aguilera - "Genie in a Bottle"

Janet Jackson - "If"

Mary J. Blige - "Real Love"

Lauryn Hill - "Doo Wop (That Thing)"

Whitney Houston - "It's Not Right (But It's Okay)"

Jennifer Lopez - "Waiting for Tonight"

Crystal Waters - "Gypsy Woman (She's Homeless)"

Cher - "Believe"

Amber - "This Is Your Night"

Madonna - "Ray of Light"

Rupaul - "Supermodel"

Lou Bega - "Mambo No. 5"

Mariah Carey - "Fantasy"

Montell Jordan - "This Is How We Do It"

Blackstreet featuring Dr. Dre - "No Diggity"

Dr. Dre - "Still D.R.E."

The Notorious B.I.G. - "Juicy"

DMX - "Party Up (Up in Here)"

Skee-Lo - "I Wish"

Ma$e - "Feels So Good"

TLC - "No Scrubs (Rap Version)"

Destiny's Child - "Bills, Bills, Bills"

Aaliyah - "Are You That Somebody"

Robyn - "Show Me Love"

Mandy Moore - "Candy"

Spice Girls - "Wannabe"

B*Witched - "C'est La Vie"

Aqua - "Barbie Girl"

Gina G. - "Ooh Ah Just a Little Bit"

La Bouche - "Be My Lover"

Real McCoy - "Another Night"

Eiffel 65 - "Blue (Da Ba Dee)"

Bjork - "Big Time Sensuality"

Dee-Lite - "Groove Is in the Heart"

Pras Michel featuring Mya and ODB - "Ghetto Superstar"

Chumbawamba - "Tubthumping"

Hole - "Violet"

Veruca Salt - "Seether"

No Doubt - "Just a Girl"

Michael Jackson - "Black or White"

George Michael - "Freedom 90"

Janet Jackson - "Rhythm Nation"

Ini Kamoze - "Here Comes the Hotstepper"

Chaka Demus and Pliers - "Murder She Wrote"

Shabba Ranks featuring Maxi Priest - "Housecall"

Jay-Z - "Hard Knock Life"

Foxy Brown featuring Jay-Z - "I'll Be"

Queen Latifah - "Latifah's Had It Up to Here"

Zhane - "Hey Mr. DJ"

Adina Howard - "Freak Like Me"

Lauryn Hill - "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You"

Brandy - "I Wanna Be Down"

Toni Braxton - "You're Making and High"

Method Man and Mary J. Blige - "I'll Be There for You/You're All I Need to Get By"

A Tribe Called Quest - "Electric Relaxation"

SWV - "Weak"

Celine Dion -"My Heart Will Go On"

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs: week 31

brief reviews of the songs that debuted on the 8.9.1997, 8.11.2007, and 8.12.2017 editions of the billboard hot 100

8.9.1997

10) "Never Make a Promise," by Dru Hill

See, the thing about this R&B song in which a person makes an eternal promise that separates it from all the other dozens I've heard in the past couple of weeks is, goddamnit I was really hoping I would come up with a joke by the time I got to the conjunction, I figured, y'know, I'd get the ball rolling, get some momentum, y'know? If I started saying words in the cadence of a joke, I would get with the program and sort of involuntarily make a joke. I see now the folly in my ways. I should've been better prepared for 1997. I knew milquetoast R&B was in store. I dropped the ball on this one, and dropped it in such a way that it did not start rolling, to tie it back to a metaphor from earlier. I promise to do better. And uh, fun fact about me, I never make a promise I won't keep.

87) "Down for Yours," by Nastyboy Klick ft./Roger Troutman

Pitch the Auto-tune a little lower, put in a few of those drums what sound like a dude roiling his rs to imitate a machine gun, and this is a perfectly acceptable 2017 pop/rap song. I just wanna real quick address something: I know I said last week that every 1997 rapper, short Magoo, was better than the best 2017 rapper, but I was speaking in terms of pop/rap. Like, if you only go by what charted, which is a mistake for so... so many reasons, 1997 rap is better? But once -- I mean, the Kendrick and Jay albums were fire, but more importantly, you've got folks like Vince Staples and Brother Ali and Joey Bada$$ and Lupe Fiasco and SZA making awesome, challenging works that aren't gonna chart. These charts are at once a sample of music history and the poorest imaginable representation of music history. Anyhoo, I don't know what previously held the title of 'most innocuous song to throw Bob into an existential tailspin over the general utility of the YAS project,' but it belongs to this dumb sack of song now!

90) "Never, Never Gonna Give You Up," by Lisa Stansfield

Hey: if nothing else, clicking on this edition of YAS 7s should give you a fun and cool new way to Rickroll your friends. Add a meta layer to your Rickroll game. I know this isn't actually a comment on the song, because how could anyone be aware of memes in 1997? All these songs predate Hamsterdance. Someone should have told Lisa Stansfield there was already a song called this, though. Anyhoo, I'm not actually talking about these songs at all. They're boring! This is probably the most okay song so far, but I'm putting it out of my mind to think about a boring meme about a boring song.

92) "Drink, Swear, Steal, & Lie" by Michael Peterson

aw this guy's just a big ol' dork. i love him! ii love his dork ass song about how in love with his girl he is. this song has one joke and it's still a vastly more complex and well-written song than any pi[50,000 word treatise on bro country redacted]anyway, this dude's great. like, i'm a pop/punk main, y'know? i love dorky and earnest jams. this hits that button squarely, y'all. i'm so into this.

only publishing the 1997 top 20 because changes happen with the other two and i value consistency

20) "Step by Step," by Whitney Houston (3.15) 19) "Can We," by SWV ft./Missy Elliott (8.2) 18) "On and On," by Erykah Badu (1.25) 17) "I Want You," by Savage Garden (3.1) 16) "It Must Be Love," by Robin S. (5.24) 15) "Smokin' Me Out," by Warren G ft./Ronald Isley (6.21) 14) "Fix," by BLACKstreet ft./Ol' Dirty Bastard (8.2) 13) "Silent All These Years," by Tori Amos (3.22) 12) "What They Do," by The Roots (1.11) 11) "Step Into a World (Rapture's Delight)," by KRS-One (4.5) 10) "I'm Not Feeling You," by Yvette Michele (2.22) 9) "Bill," by Peggy Scott-Adams (3.29) 8) "Just Another Case," by CRU ft./Slick Rick (7.5) 7) "I'll Be," by Foxy Brown ft./Jay-Z (2.15) 6) "Felton St.," Leschea (6.14) 5) "Bitch," by Meredith Brooks (4.26) 4) "Mo Money, Mo Problems," by The Notorious B.I.G. ft./Puff Daddy & Mase (8.2) 3) "Return of the Mack," by Mark Morrison (3.1) 2) "Hypnotize," by The Notorious B.I.G. (4.26) 1) "Not Tonight (Ladies' Night Remix)," by Lil Kim ft./Angie Martinez, Left Eye, Da Brat & Missy Elliott (7.12)

8.11.2007

47) "Stronger," Kanye West

Graduation is such a goofy album because it has three of the best Kanye singles of all time, including what, let's be real, probably ends up as the best song from 2007, but it's also Kanye's worst and least interesting album. It's Kanye at a crossroads, stuck between being the pop/rap god and the morose Auto-tune sadlord who makes 808s and MBDTF. This song actually finds Kanye at the perfect point in the crossroads. He's still making a towering achievement for the mainstream, but he's breaking out of being chop up the soul Kanye, moving into electronic territory, developing his sound into that direction in a way that doesn't quite sound like MBDTF but sounds like the first step on that road. It'd be a bold experiment if it didn't absolutely work, and this is an amazing song by any objective measure.

65) "Cyclone," Baby Bash ft./T-Pain

Man maybe I just haven't noticed it yet or maybe I'm just coming down from the "Stronger" high, but I forgot how horrible the generic crunk beat was to listen to. It hasn't been quite so prevalent, but heck whoever gave this dude the Lil Jon MP3s. I will say that T-Pain making noises to describe what it feels like when a woman dips it low is the tiniest little miracle of a thing, but boy, is my life not better with this song in it. OK I just got to the part where T-Pain makes that noise three times in a row, this song is an achievement in Western art and culture and the world is saved.

83) "Love Me if You Can," Toby Keith

who the fuck listens to toby keith for the ballads like who is this for who thinks of this song when they think of toby keith no legit dude just make dumbass party jams i don't get why this would ever need to exist

84) "Take Me There," Rascal Flatts

Like legit why would you give "Love Me if You Can" to Toby Keith when Rascal Flatts is literally right there. Songs like "Love Me if You Can" and this treacly pile of love song are why you made Rascal Flatts in the first place. I also enjoy the twist this puts on The Country Song. I don't think anyone ever came to Rascal Flatts for Authentic Country Music, so them saying they want the girl to take them to Main Street and the backroads is actually kinda sweet. Like, they're not posturing, they're saying, "Yeah, we're clearly city softboys, but we wanna see the small town blue jean nights that made my girl." Rascal Flatts: generally inoffensive yet again! They just keep comin'!

89) "Proud of the House We Built," Brooks & Dunn

I like this song because it reminded me of The Wonder Years' "Teenage Parents," and I appreciate the opportunity to think about The Wonder Years. I dunno, country hasn't really been problematic this week! This song is almost good! It's just a nice look back on life. "Yeah, it kinda sucked, butcha know what, we made it." Maybe it could've acknowledged that the tough times sucked instead of looking back smiling and saying, "I wouldn't have it any other way?" Hard times suck, dude. I know you haven't heard that Paramore jam yet, but hard times suck and you shouldn't idealize them. Especially when, you know, you're a millionaire, and people who are actually going through hard times are listening to you and saying, "Welp, guess this is my station in life!" Hey Bob you're going on a treatise on the sociological implications of bro country, and you are actually unable to write that. Please write about JoBros.

92) "Hold On," Jonas Brothers

What a week for songs named after far more notable '80s jams! (Actually Wilson Phillips w)I LOOKED IT UP AND DECIDED I DIDN'T CARE anyway did anyone else forget that Jonas Brothers are like legit songwriters? Like, this is definitely as good as any Simple Plan song, and Simple Plan was like a decade older than these kids. Does Simple Plan make good music? That's beside the point, which is that Jonas Brothers was never garbage. They were always making highly enjoyable pop/rock songs for the whole family, and they were capable of making these songs from an extraordinarily young age. We could've done worse, is what I'm trying to get at. Like, we had it pretty got dang good with the JoBros, friends! There's a world where JoBros fades into semi-obscurity and makes highly enjoyable Christian rock with Hanson, and also no one ever makes "Jealous," and that's a pretty OK alternate reality, that one.

100) "Hood Nigga," Gorilla Zoe

The most optimistic sentence on Wikipedia is, "This is Gorilla Zoe's only top 40 hit on that chart, to date." This song ain't bad! It would've been a fine #1 in some of those weeks where the best song was like "Do it Just Like a Rock Star." He has this really fun and gruff voice, maybe a little laconic but certainly pleasant to put in the ears, the beat is, as the kids might have said in 2007, knockin', and we have certainly heard worse things! Also the radio edit replaces N with F and of all the letters to replace the N, F is easily the funniest, because now this song is about a dude who can't get enough figs in his life. Fuck Cristal, this dude's got a Fig Newton cabinet.

New #1 hype! 20) "Lip Gloss," by Lil Mama (6.9.2007) 19) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 18) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 17) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 16) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 15) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 14) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 13) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 12) "Can't Tell Me Nothing," by Kanye West (6.16.2007) 11) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 10) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 9) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 8) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 7) "Misery Business," by Paramore (7.21.2007) 6) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 5) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 4) "Beautiful Flower," by India.Arie (6.16.2007) 3) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 2) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) 1) "Stronger," by Kanye West (8.11.2007) Hey guess what the alt-country song doesn’t end up being Record of the Year 2017. Also I made a minor adjustment to #20 because Lil Mama is going to stay around as long as I feel I cannot bop her in good conscience.

8.12.2017

40) "Back to You," by Louis Tomlinson ft./Bebe Rexha & Digital Farm Animals

Huh, well, I think I mind this the least of all the One Direction side projects! I'm down for a duet, even if this is just a little too low-key to ever attain Iconic Duet status -- drunk folks and karaoke wanna shout about love, and while I'm sure they'll appreciate the "you fuck me... up" phrasing, you're not giving them a lot to work wth. I've never minded Bebe Rexha as little as I do here, and just like in his boyhood, Louis Tomlinson doesn't do anything to ruin everything. This was passable. I wouldn't mind hearing this again, I wouldn't mind if a thousand lives were lived before I heard it again.

61) "What's My Name," by China Anne McClain 81) "It's Goin' Down," Descendants 2 Cast

Listen. Am I upset that this young woman's villain song does not in any way hearken back to "Poor Unfortunate Souls" in any way? Of course. Am I 15 years aged out of the target market for this song? I mean fucking obviously, I knew we'd be treading in these waters eventually. These are fine generic pop songs, the only true flaw in any being the fact someone looked at purple-haired girl and said, "She should be in a rap battle. I think she could convincingly hold her own in a rap battle," like I'm sorry sweetie you have an abundance of other talents and zero bars. It's charming. It's charming! Listen. Am I ready for China Anne McClain to rule the world for five yet-to-be-determined years in the future? Yes. Do I love Captain Hook's gay son? I LOVE CAPTAIN HOOK'S GAY SON

77) "Issues," by Meek Mill 79) "Wins & Losses," by Meek Mill 83) "1942 Flows," by Meek Mill 96) "We Ball," by Meek Mill ft./Young Thug 97) "Fuck That Check Up," by Meek Mill ft./Lil Uzi Vert 99) "Heavy Heart," by Meek Mill

So if I'm rating the theme weeks of 2017: 1) Kendrick Week 2) Jay-Z Week 3) Future Week 4) Meek Mill Week 5) Migos Week 6) Ed Sheeran Week 7) Big Sean Week 8) Drake Week 9) Bryson Tiller Week I was honestly surprised by how much I enjoyed these songs. Like, I'm actually adding the Meek Mill album to the library for future listening. "1942 Flows" and "Wins & Losses" are legit, they're engaging songs and Meek Mill brings passion to them, and maybe I'm just unfamiliar with the rest of Meek Mill's catalogue, but I honestly didn't expect to be involved in these songs. This seems like a fine album with which to kill a summer bus ride or two. Like, I can't remember the last time I heard a song with a Young Thug feature where I wasn't paying more attention to what Young Thug was doing. Meek Mill did fine work. (Worth noting: Wins & Losses is 15 minutes longer than DAMN., and I am curious what makes Meek Mill think he has 15 minutes' more of worthwhile thought than Kendrick.)

91) "Imitadora," by Romeo Santos

It was "Heroe Favorito," right, where I said I might enjoy Romeo Santos' whole thing on another day, when I was ready to accept him into my life? WELL HOT DIGGITY, Y'ALL, 'CUZ TODAY'S THAT DAY. I love his breathy falsetto thing over this song way more, it just fits. I'm also in love with this track, this gentle Latin guitar with occasional blasts of indie platformer main menu music. I don't know a better term to express what I mean because I'm bad at music, but these synth blasts play in the intro and outro and occasionally come back and they just take this track to another level. This is just phenomenal work from someone I now understand to be a veteran in the scene from the past seven months of limited engagement with the world of Latin pop.

I changed the top of the 2017 Top 20 again. 20) "Bodak Yellow," by Cardi B (7.22) 19) "Woman," by Kesha ft./The Dap-Kings Horns (8.5) 18) "Smile," by Jay-Z ft./Gloria Carter (7.29) 17) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott (7.1) 16) "Bad Liar," by Selena Gomez (6.3) 15) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 14) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 13) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 12) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 11) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 10) "Strangers," by Halsey ft./Lauren Jauregui (6.17) 9) "Either Way," by Chris Stapleton (5.27) 8) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 7) "Imitadora," by Romeo Santos (8.12) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) 4) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) Like #1 should be a mix of Most Impactful Song and Song I Enjoyed Most, and maybe #1 justifiably belongs to “Despacito” given how great that is, I’m still getting a lot of mileage out of “Issues,” and honestly as long as I’m not keeping up this silly idea that a song that was #90 for one week is the most iconic song of the year this useless list has at least some utility. Shoutout to the true heroes Paramore, though. And also Major Lazer, PARTYNEXTDOOR, and Nicki Minaj. I will never fucking forget you guys.

Who won the week?

2017 actually put up a rather strong fight, but there was no way Meek Mill and the Descendants 2 soundtrack were going to take down “Stronger,” even when it was being weighed down with Toby Keith. 2007 had a couple strong punches, and it was more than able to notch another point. 2017: 11 1997: 11 2007: 9 In next week’s post, we get to listen to Spice Girls AND Billy Joel, 2007 gives us Luke Bryan AND Robin Thicke, and I don’t know what fresh hell 2017 has in store but evidently Tay Tay collaborated with B.O.B. at some point in the recent past and it’s gonna be real fun to deal with B.O.B. the popular musician should it come to that. What an unproblematic and unremarkable artist who has precisely zero bad opinions which he expresses loudly!