#joke ask

[bed-wed-behead-your-fave]

A black hole, from space

I have got to stop allowing joke submissions like this.

[bigfemboyenergy]

have you drinked water today

a sip or two, mayhaps 💀

[doctorwhozzat]

(joke ask)

To toy maker

I'm 60 ft from your location to marry you

Start running-

"how...amusing."

[sketchingstars03]

omg why would u ever draw ink sans he's stinky and has no redeeming qualities bc he's soulles9879876*&^#!%!)(*)(%

you’re right I am so sorry I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement I shall now stop drawing stimk snas forever and ever 😔😔 /s /j

[askwheatleytheadmin]

why is blawg green🙏🙏🗣️🗣️🗣️(JOKE)

================================================ Wheatley squints at the ask for a long time, for a moment, it seems like they're about to chide the behaviour. Until they clear their throat; `` Green because leaf 🙏🙏🗣️🗣️🗣️``

[omgtheywereroomates]

Tio.

Tio, why the hell did I find Fawf in my room trying to find where i watch the securty cameras from. Are you trying to hide something from me??

T:what? Of course not, don’t worry about it :).

F:….

T:I told you to be more discreet Jesus Christ bean man-

F: his room is like a maze I don’t know what you want me to say-

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

(((( hecka cloaked 3000)))) Dear Sir or Madam: I would like to order 17,000 units of your squeaky Enterprise ships. To be specific, I need the ones where chibi Picard yells "HELP ME!" but NOT the ones where Riker is like "OBEY MY ORDERS" because NO. Picard models only, please. Do you take Icelandic Krona? Or Euros, I can get some euros but it might take me a little time. If you take diamonds, we can talk that as well. Thank you very much for your time. A friend.

Dear Hecka Cloaked Romulan,

I am afraid you have contacted the incorrect hailing frequency. We do not sell squeaky Enterprise ships, only tiny models of La Sirena alongside weird-ass artsy art of larynxes with floral patterns coming out of them as if this was an MBSS of someone with Hanahaki Disease. I am happy to refer you to the right vendor.

Thank you for your time, and jolan'tru,

The Q'alankhai's Sweetheart

[hazyaltcare]

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin so I agreed. Every day, I think back at that moment with regret. I quickly realized that I was in way over my head, and Hank had a partner, a man named Gustavo Fring, a businessman. Hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man, and when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling out. From what I can gather, Hank was always pushing for a greater share of the business, to which Fring flatly refused to give him, and things escalated. Fring was able to arrange, uh I guess I guess you call it a "hit" on my brother-in-law, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured, and I wound up paying his medical bills which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge, working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring, and did so. In fact, the bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen in the ranks to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA, and about that time, to keep me in line, he took my children from me. For 3 months he kept them. My wife, who up until that point, had no idea of my criminal activities, was horrified to learn what I had done, why Hank had taken our children. We were scared. I was in Hell, I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, to end this nightmare, and in response, he gave me this. I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. I... All I could think to do was to make this video in hope that the world will finally see this man, for what he really is.

Well, Walt. I don't know what to tell you.

Look at yourself. Pathetic.

Mod Haze (🎮Greyson)

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

[cahootings]

“their relationship is too deep to be sexual” what’s deeper than dick in hole. please tell me

[thebluekid-underyourbed]

CHAT YOU CANT BE SAYING YHIS STUFF

(friend ask this is slash jay)

[bed-wed-behead-your-fave]

ACT anon, I meant the test.

[bigfemboyenergy]

I disapprove of this new FREAK u like I mean

he’s literally mob but grown up and edgy

smh /lh /j

HE LOWK IS EDGY BUT ITS DIFFERENT I SWEAR

I ACTUALLY LIKE HIM BECAUSE HE IS OPENLY A GOOFBALL!!! AND HES HOT I ADMIT THATS ANOTHER REASON

at least hes less freaky than other guys

hes just a fun lil guy whos stabbing my brain to pieces tonight let him be 🙏🙏

i cant help it when i find another clowning char i add them to my official simp list /hj /silly the gifs were irresistible

[lastoneout]

Seein' too many Twitter refugees asking if they'll get in trouble for saying "kill yourself" to people and while no, you're not gonna get nuked from orbit, that is maybe something you just shouldn't be doing in general perhaps?? Maybe telling people to kill themselves is bad actually?? Some of y'all are wild, why is the first thing you can think to ask on a new platform if you can send one of the worst kinds of harassment to people?? Grow tf up and learn how to use the block button. It'll do wonders for your mood, trust me.

[destinyandcoins]

edward and alphonse wandering across amestris for 3.5 years looking for a way to return to their original bodies: mustang can we get a philosopher's stone?

mustang: you have a philosopher's stone at home

the philosopher's stone at home:

[pregnantsecondo]

I'm gonna killy ou