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t3kandson · 1 year

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Player Might Be Me

Word count; 14, 283

Fandom; The Boyz & Stray Kids Featuring a bit of Itzy

Pairing; Reader X Lee Juyeon, Reader X Seo Changbin, Reader X Bang Chan aka Christopher, Bang Chan X Seo Changbin, Lee Minho aka Lee Know X Shin Ryujin & Bae Jacob X Choi Jisoo aka Lia.

Characters; Lee Juyeon, Seo Changbin, Bang Chan, Moon Kevin, Ju Haknyeon, Lee Hyunjae, Lee Sangyeon, Bae Jacob, Sohn Eric, Kim Sunwoo, Lee Minho, Shin Ryujin, Choi Jisoo, Kim Younghoon, Choi Chanhee, Hur Hyunjun aka Hwall, Ji Changmin, Han Jisung, Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin and Yang Jeongin.

Warning; Angst, Cover story relationship, Talk of arranged marriages Polyamory, Jealousy, Degrading, Pregnancy & Labour, Talk of abortions, Children hospitalisation, fights, fingering, Maiesiophilia & Threesomes.

Notes; Part Three of Player/Player at the wedding

Happy Birthday Juyeon 😘❤️

Taglist; @ilovechanhee

The door bell hollowed through the house, annoyance deliberately targeting you. Making your way through the empty house you moved towards the front door. Heart freezing when you recognised the two figures that seemingly looked ready to break the door down.

“Y/N we know your in there, don’t be dramatic and answer the door,” Kevin shouted through the glass panel. You should have known that Kevin and Haknyeon would not have let you leave town so easily.

Opening the door like a scolded child Kevin narrowed his eyes your way with his arms crossed. Haknyeon even in his smiling gaze looked irked at your behaviour. “Please forget me,” Kevin growled shoving your note in your face. “Do you think your so little to us that we would just be happy with this silly note,” he added throwing the paper to the floor. “Just because you can forget us don’t mean it’s the same emotions that we own,” he said hurt as your eyes looked to the written apology. “Y/N,” please say something,” Haknyeon pleaded bringing your eye contact back. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay, not like that, not round him,” you choked as Haknyeons eyes softened. “We understand that, more then anything,” Haknyeon said stepping towards you. “But why did you run from us?” he added grabbing your hands warmly. “Because I need a fresh start away from everything Juyeon, I don’t want to be that person he was making me,” you said with tears pricking your eyes. “Since when did we represent Juyeon, you know we both can not stand him. We didn’t even like him when you was dating, what makes you think we would like him now,” Kevin said more softer. “Y/N you could never be like him,” Haknyeon added tightening his grip.

“We’re family Y/N, you don’t walk away from family,” Kevin said placing his hand on your shoulder as tears began to slide. “Right I’ve scolded you, let’s leave that here but you are never going to walk away from us again right?” He glared in your eyes that caused you to tearfully nod. “Come here Silly,” he said pulling you into his hold, Haknyeon’s hands slipping from the crush between yours and Kevin’s body as tears began to fall.

With your friendship with Kevin and Haknyeon reassumed, they both visited regularly, many nights comforting you and slowly building you back your life. But the second you had started to rebuild your life again once more, life threw you back into the hell you had clawed from.

“Shit,” Haknyeon said holding the test for dear life in his hands as he looked his way to you. Your mind froze as it swirled through all sort of thoughts, one’s that you couldn’t even focus on because your world was going black once more. “It’s ok Y/N listen it’s ok, we will sort this I promise you,” Kevin echoed around you as he placed his hands on your shoulders. But even his words of comfort and reassurance couldn’t take away the fear deep in the Pitt of your stomach. You was pregnant and the only person you had slept with was Lee Juyeon just a couple months prior. It didn’t matter that you wanted a fresh start, the universe was finding a way to derail you.

“No child will change him Y/N, Haknyeon said with sorrowful eyes when you suggested going back to Seoul to return to him. “You don’t know that,” you cried as you tried to hold on to the family picture your mind had given you. “Y/N, he’s been sleeping with those girls since you left, that’s how much he cares,” Kevin growled with annoyance. “But that’s different there relationships, this is a child,” you cry pleading as if they could fix your ideal dream future. You knew being unmarried your father would scorn you once hearing of your predicament. “Fine ring him, but he will only hurt you and this time a tiny child too,” Kevin scoffed passing you his phone. You looked at Juyeon’s number in fear like it was set to burn you before taking your eyes back to his.

“Test him,” Haknyeon said into the silence as you both looked his way. “What?“ you scoffed looking confused at him. “He slept with a friend of mine just last month, she owes me a favour. I’ll make a comment that I think she’s pregnant let’s see his reaction,” he said looking at you seriously. Kevin looks at you and you see it’s a plan he approved as you nod your head at him.

Being back in Haknyeon’s apartment is weird, it’s your comfort, many great nights was spent there. But you remember Juyeon’s sleeping body laid like a ghost on the sofa. Your muscles twitched as you remember the way his fingers dug in to devour you the very last night of your relationship. “You can change your mind right,” Kevin said worried with your sudden display of emotions. “No I need to know,” you added holding your tears at bay. Slipping into the bedroom when the door buzzed, fingers intwined willing for Juyeon to show a sign of excitement, a sign of responsibility.

But that’s not what followed when Haknyeon spun his line. “Why are you telling me?” Juyeon growled. “Because you’ve already fucked up one of my friends lives, Mirae deserves better, she needs you to step up,” Haknyeon said with a raised tone. “Mirae is just as much as a dirty dog as me, that kid probably wouldn’t be mine,” he said sounding so uninterested. “And If it is,” Haknyeon pushed further. “Mate I haven’t got time for this Bullshit, Mirae’s problems are her own and not mine so go play games with someone else. You like fixing my mess you deal with it,” Juyeon said sounding so cold. “Right mature levels that I expected, but you know what I expected even fatherhood might inspire you with some form of need to grow up,” Haknyeon lectured as your heart began to burn. “No one tells me when it’s my time to grow up, if she is there’s always the option for an abortion,” he growled as the Pitt of your stomach churned. “Your an asshole Lee Juyeon,” Haknyeon matched his tone. “You know what, even if it’s not mine I’ll pay for the abortion, who wants to be lumbered with a crying shitting machine anyway,” he add, as if he was deliberately setting to hurt you further more. “You know what, I don’t know why I had faith in you,” Haknyeon said, his tone setting close to anger. “Well I didn’t ask you to,” he said snarky as if he was amused at the disappointment he was showing. “Get out,” Haknyeon shouted like the anger he was holding on was about to be out leashed. “With pleasure,” Juyeon said sounding pleased at the commotion he left behind.

The second the door shut the tears you held at bay poured as Kevin pulled you into his warm embrace. Haknyeon’s hands pressing on your back as you sobbed, to show his support as he dashed to the room. Quietness stilled as they both comforted you, the words of ‘I told you so’ that you expected to come didn’t.

“What am I going to do? What am I going to tell my father?” You cried looking up at Kevin. He pursed his lips deep in thought as you looked up at him with tear stained eyes. “I’ll fix it I promise, I’ll find someone to take care of you both,” he said slightly smiling in an attempt to reassure you.

When you imagined all the ways that Kevin would fix the mess you had gotten into you never thought Hyunjae would be the answer. “What?” Hyunjae replied paling with slight confusion. “You like her, she liked you, she’s pregnant she needs you,” Kevin explained as if you and the baby was some form of business deal. “Kevin did you fall and hurt yourself, like badly brain damaging hurt yourself,” Hyunjae scoffed at his friend. “No she needs help,” Kevin pleaded as silence fell. “And you thought of me, like it’s already crazy that your finding some sort of husband for your befallen friend, no offence,” he paused smiling at you briefly. “But me, why me? do I look father material?” Hyunjae added. “Firstly I thought she was our friend and secondly you love kids. Your lost in a world as soon as you see a baby,” Kevin explained. “Y/N you know I love you and will always fight for you,” Hyunjae smiled your way as you mirrored. “I love babies there cute so tiny and so squishy, but not my own actual baby to bring up, even if it’s one that’s not from my loin, not now anyway,” he replied. “Plus this is wrong I know the man’s a jerk but still, it’s his baby,” he added pulling his hand through his hair.

“He wants an abortion,” you choke out the words having never left your mind since he spoke them. Hyunjae breathed in deeply before making his way to you, wrapping his arms around your wearily body as he pulled you in. “Y/N I wish I could help but this is too much,” he said softly as you nodded understanding. “I know, I’m sorry we shouldn’t have even asked you,” you said feeling numb. “You know nothing would please me to be the person who has you weak for me every night I come home to you, but being a father to a child I didn’t make right now when we are so young, I can’t do it,” he adds cupping your face. “It’s a stupid idea,” you said letting tears slip.

The whole situation was crazy and was zapping any energy into your life right that moment.

Pressing a kiss to your nose he pulled you in tightly. “It’s not a stupid idea, it’s just I’m not equipped for what you need from me right now,” he said kissing your crown. “I’ll help though, you know being him or her favourite uncle,” he said as you chuckled. “I’m sure there be someone that I can help find what you need though,” he added reassuringly.

Like he had promised he fixed the situation. You was sat facing two strangers who had offered to save your situation. The comfort of Hyunjae’s apartment around you, you looked at the pair blushing. “This is Christopher,” Hyunjae Introduced as he was grinning so widely, but yet also very warmly. “This is Changbin,” he added as you nodded once more to Christopher’s Boyfriend. His smile not reaching his eyes as if he was daring into your soul making you gulp slightly. “And this is our beautiful lady in distress,” Hyunjae teased as you shot him a glare earning a chuckle.

“Can I be honest and straight to the point with you Y/N,” Changbin asked as if he was trying to work you out. You nodded trying to warm him with a smile that failed. “What If the real father comes back on the scenes?” he asked as you blinked surprised by his outright question. “Binnie,” Christopher scorned softly trying to smile even brighter at you, as If he was counteracting the slight tension Changbin was emitting. “Chris I need to know, I don’t want to fall in a trap that goes south,” he said softly, yet to the point before looking your way. “The baby’s father wanted me to have an abortion he isn’t coming back,” you replied. “But you love him?” Changbin asked as you nodded watching Christopher’s smile slightly drop. “What’s to stop us giving you and that baby what you need, to then throw us away If the dad comes back,” he asked with wary concern behind his eyes.

Pulling in your bottom lip he had a good point. You had wanted a family with Juyeon and so his change of mind would be all you needed and everything you wanted. “See she can’t answer that,” he said looking at His partner. “Chris you can’t keep saving people, not when they can’t be honest,” he said, his tone showing he didn’t trust you.

“I can answer,” you said as they looked your way. “I could say what you want, tell you you can trust me, this baby will be brought up by just us three alone, a family hiding your secrets yet comforting as one strong unit,” you smiled as Christopher could see content in the picture you painted. “I could also tell you what you clearly want to hear, that I’m so badly in love with the guy who’s dna is in my child and that I’m just saving my self. Then your right, this idea is bad and you should run,” you added looking at Changbin as he’s eyes smalled slightly. “But if I’m honest I can’t tell you to trust me, I can’t tell you this is safe,” you added biting your lip. “I love this baby’s real dad very much, you don’t know how I’ve tried so much not to, but I can’t help it I really do,” you said looking at Changbin with watery eyes. “He isn’t just not father material but he also doesn’t want to be a father, his chosen route in his words,” you pause taking a breath. “Even if it wasn’t his he’ll pay for the abortion because who wants to be lumbered with a child,” you added as tears slipped.

“Y/N,” Christopher chokes looking saddened to view your tears and hear those words. “Does that sound like a man coming to claim his family?” You asked looking at Changbin as his view soften. “I can’t give you any promises, but I can be honest I need saving,” you added brutally as Hyunjae’s hands found yours under the table. “But can any of us guarantee that this will work?” You asked them. “What do you mean? how are we going to break your heart? you will always be that baby’s mum,” Changbin scoffed. “Can you promise each other that you won’t feel some sort of emotion for me when I become your family, I know your both bisexual,” you said making Christopher blush. “What if Me and Christopher fall in love and run away,” you said as Changbin started laughing heavily.

“Oh thanks, feel the love,” Christopher scoffed as Changbin calmed down holding his hand. “You really telling me your going to fall in love and run away leaving me behind,” he says with full confidence. “I could do,” Christopher said playfully that made you smile at there cute display of there relationship. “One week and you would be back,” Changbin winked as you felt the heat of your cheeks blush. “That would be because you need me to stop you setting fire to the kitchen,” Christopher scoffed. The way they interacted together was contenting to view.

You knew the deal to be there cover for there relationship in offer for a family, that your unborn child would be better off with them then Juyeon.

“You made a good point I’m thankful for your honesty,” Changbin said after taking you into his view once more. “What’s that, one of you could fall for my charm and run away with me,” you teased as Christopher smirked. “Oh you have so met your match,” he said nudging Changbin.

That was the start of your relationship with them both. It was meant to be just a cover story, You was Christopher’s girlfriend to the world, but behind the door when your hand slipped Changbin took over. You had ear pods to help close the hearing from the thin walls of there own relationship, but you was content. While Christopher mothered over you, Changbin who at first was still wary, started warming up with help from Christopher’s coaxing. However, you both became a bad influence and often joining forces against your cover partner.

As for your pregnancy the golden rule of not mentioning anything to do with Juyeon was the ultimate deal. They didn’t even want to know his name, Kevin, Haknyeon & Hyunjae forced to be tight lipped. It was as if in your mind your dreams was replaced with Christopher In Juyeon’s place.

Christopher was the doting expecting father. However, often suffocating you with nutrition meal plans even down to the music you heard. He wanted his child to hear there voices as there melody. Which explained the routine parts of the day as Christopher held your stomach playing the mixtapes him and Changbin made.

Changbin on the other hand sneaked in your cravings, you had a unhealthy addiction for everything that wasn’t healthy, that Christopher wanted you to eat. In particular greasy burgers, it had become your Thursday treat when Christopher had his work meetings with the management line. Changbin would collect you as soon as he finished and would drive you to the nearest Lotteria for a Bulgogi burger. As your bump grew he would swap his Burger with your fries, smiling with smitten features as you devoured his food. He secretly confessed that you eating something that was his and the regular eating date, made him feel like he was connected to the baby. It wasn’t long before he was confessing his fears. Christopher would be daddy but he was just an uncle. Though he didn’t want a family he agreed for Christopher, he had become very fond of you. The thought of losing you equally terrified him then an attachment to a child that wasn’t his.

Your platonic relationship between you and them changed almost over night. It was like you all felt chemistry, but in fear of complicating your home life further you kept your distance when things got too much, like it was a fuse away from exploding. As always your unborn child being the explosion in the situation.

“What’s wrong with that idea?” Changbin scoffed when you told him the doctors suggestions to push your labour along. “Are you seriously suggesting we add another person in to encourage our child out,” Christopher scoffed his way, after hearing Changbin’s response to the doctors joke. She had merrily joked that semen from sex helped overdue mothers, one that emitted a blush from you both.

“No she has us for that,” Changbin said his eyes widening towards his partner. “Your thinking crazy right now,” Christopher replied getting off the sofa to make his way towards the kitchen. “No I’m thinking like a dad, which is what your meant to be doing,” Changbin growled.

Christopher looked at him hurt in his eyes. You was use to squabbles, Changbin often blowing up with his emotions but to attack Christopher as a parent felt a low attack. “Please explain how making our already confusing situation any more fucked up then it already is, is better for our child,” Christopher said growling with more anger then you witnessed before.

“Do you want them to be over due? Do you realise how uncomfortable it is for Y/N, or have you forgotten her in this whole damn thing. She’s this baby’s mum not a surrogate,” Changbin ranted. Christopher eyes brushed to you as you pulled your knees towards you in pure uncomfortableness with the whole argument. “Have you even asked Y/N instead of being her spokesman?” Christopher asked almost calmer. Changbin instantly looked to you, his eyes darkened slightly more then usual, but silence upon his features. “Can we just not argue I don’t like it,” you whispered making them both rush to you with guilt.

“Sorry Y/N,” Changbin said pulling your shoulder so you tumbled into him, letting your knees fall on his thighs. “Yes I’m sorry too, I’m sure we can find a way to help you,” Christopher said smiling. “I’m sure Hyunjae would help,” he added as Changbin looked in horror. “Chris how can we be a family, this child is yours but I’m just the uncle, by Hyunjae helping that means he has a much more claim then me,” Changbin said re getting irked once more. “So your telling me by you fucking her it means your feel closer,” Christopher scoffed towards him once more as you felt the brief respite disappear.

“No if we do it together then it’s something I’m included in,” Changbin bit out. “Do you know how hard it is watching you two go to scans, hospital appointments, picking out names, leaving me in the corner feeling as if I’m just the person who satisfies your sexual needs but nothing more,” he cried showing the pain that till now he hid from his lover. “But isn’t that what you wanted, you didn’t want this, you didn’t want to be a dad. You only did this to please me,” Christopher shouted back. “Well things changed, I’ve held that little one as they kicked my hands, held Y/N’s hair why she’s been sick, made her giggle when she’s been sad,” he paused looking at you with a brief break of warmth in his features. “I’ve dreamt just like you, her future, our future, our family of four,” he said more soften closing his eyes as he willed the dream to hold him once more.

“How long have you felt like this?” Christopher asks looking shocked by his admission. “Since I felt her kick my hand when I fed her mother my burger,” he wiped a tear but looked content in the memory that you didn’t even realise. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise I pushed you into the cold,” Christopher said closing his eyes. He turned his back on you both turning around to look you with a different unknown view in his eyes.

“Y/N what’s your take on this?” he asked closing his eyes briefly once more. “What on how I’ve equally pushed him out, I already knew it and set time for him,” you said looking guilty. “That’s sweet but i didn’t mean that, I wasn’t blind to your unhealthy dinner dates,” he said raising an eye at you as you looked guilty at him. “I meant your take in Changbin’s suggestion, about you know,” he said blushing a deep set of red. “Oh,” you said pausing as you bit on your lip briefly that earnt a gulp from Changbin’s breath, that caught both your attention.

Had you thought sexually of them both? yes you sure had. There moans was often what pushed you over the edge as your knuckles went white pleasuring yourself. “Well her silence tells us what we need to know,” Christopher said pushing his lips and widening his eyes at Changbin’s which had fallen. “It’s because I’m trying to find the words that don’t sound like I’m some sort of cock whore,” you blushed looking to the floor. “Wait so you want to, you know,” , “have sex with us both,” Changbin added smirking at Christopher’s deep blushes. You nodded blushed almost as red as Christopher’s as Changbin fell to the sofa nudging you. “Oh Y/N your such a cute little thing blushing like a what did you call it, cock whore,” he winked.

You couldn’t remember the path between that phase and suddenly being dragged by Changbin to your bed room. Heavily amount of kisses passed you had been sure of that. You had been sex starved for over nine months and desperately needing the release from more then your fingers. Desperate to hear there moans as they drove themselves mad on you.

Christopher’s eyes at your naked body was pure doe eyed at your fully naked pregnant appearance. “Changbin don’t hate me, but that’s such a turn on that I never imagined I’d have,” He scoffed. “You and me both,” Changbin choked as you took his eyes, dark with lust filled hunger. “Well we ride together we die together,” he added as his hands rummaged your breasts. Which made Christopher belt out into hysterics, Changbin eyes narrowing on him which you had to admit looked hot. “Sorry I was just laughing because we aren’t riding together, she’ll be riding us,” he smirked blushing like crazy.

“Sorry, one second,” Changbin said holding a finger before he made his way to his lover. “Your so cute when you say something so sexy, but I love you like it, never change,” he complimented looking in his eyes as his lips attacked him.

Like earlier in the living room, your thighs clenched viewing the depth of there relationship. Changbin’s eyes finding yours almost salivated at there display, that he smirked at you with pure devilish view in his eyes. Turning you into him he let his clothed bulged press against your ass, his hands holding your belly. Kisses along your neck you feel Christopher spraying his hands over your bump. Like his partner they both was finding themselves turned on by your glowing pregnant view. “Do you know how beautiful you are carrying our baby,” he said deeply that your thighs dampened. “Yes our baby,” Changbin whispered into your ear that had you almost choke.

Once you had got used to Christopher’s emotion’s for your voluptuous view you was hovering over his cock. “Baby, don’t hold back,” he smiled looking lost in your eyes. His fingers reassuringly brushing over your thighs as sudden nervousness attacked. Whimpering you slid yourself down on him as you closed your eyes, biting your lips as you got use to being filled once more. Changbin behind you, held your breasts as he knead them while you set your rhythm on Christopher. “You feel so tight, shit,” Christopher whined himself as his hands gripped on to your hips. Changbin presses his hands to your face to lean your lips towards his, tongue sucking down the moans spilling from your lips. Fingers finding your clit Christopher rubbed circles into your throbbing nub.

Walls clamping on his cock had his own deeper groans making your release creep up. “Y/N, oh my god, shit,” he cry’s, fingers digging into your flesh as his pace becomes sluggish on there attack. He spills himself deep in you and the warmth of his hot seed, scrunched face, and choking sounds throws you off the edge. Lips falling from Changbin, you lean on to your arms, palms resting on Christopher’s hard muscular chest, panting as you struggle to breathe through your intense orgasm. “You ok baby?” Christopher coos lifting your face to view him. “Yeah that was just, yeah, it’s been a while,” you pant as he stifles a chuckle. “Well you haven’t had me fuck you up yet,” you hear Changbin threaten behind you.

“It’s ok sweetie, i won’t make you do all the work,” Changbin says dragging his finger down your spine making you moan as you arch. “When your ready, all fours,” he said pressing kisses to your shoulder as he hovers over you, before placing a kiss to Christopher.

Fingers falling to your cum soaked pussy, Changbin enjoys slowly fucking into you. His digits forgetting your delicate condition, but despite the slight discomfort of his frenzy attacking of his fingers, your juices are flowing. Removing he replaces himself with a slam of his cock, cry’s piercing the air. “Remember the baby,” Christopher scorns him still underneath. “We’re here to encourage it out,” Changbin chuckles before he prepares to set his rhythm. Ignoring Christopher’s request he set a harsh pace against you. Your walls clamping around him helping to fill the most sexy groans deep in your ear. You can feel Christopher hardening beneath you that he’s also weak hearing them too. Christopher’s biting his lips in your eyes lost in his Changbin view, is adding to your once more creeping orgasm. You can hear him struggle to hold his high back as your walls tighten around him. “Y/N,” he growls and the way he runs your voice from his tongue is enough to have your core burn. A second chant of your name is all your core needs to snap as you feel the muscles in your core choke around him. “Fuck,” Changbin growls shaking as he rides his high that you threw into him out. Your body feels over sensitive as he continues to slowly fuck into you, filling you with so much of his seed that you feel it slide down your thighs, spilling on Christopher.

“Well I think that definitely has you fully cum filled,” Changbin said releasing himself. Throwing himself beside you he pats the space between them, Christopher’s beaming grin inviting you to lay with them. As soon as you lay down, Changbin rolls to face you brushing the sweetest kiss to your lips. “We’re not coming back from this are we,” you ask him as he smirks. “Well this is our family now,” Christopher whispers confirming your relationship with them both was sexual now too.

You suddenly woke up clinching your stomach in pain as water gushed your bed. Christopher’s panicked eyes being the only evidence he wasn’t as calm as his reassuring words. Changbin on the other hand was a nervous wreck. His paled face as his cluttered words spilling in his attempt to reassure you as Christopher drove you to the hospital.

His lost expression when he failed to move into the labour suite confused you further. “Changbin,” you whined looking his way. “I’m not the dad,” he said with watery eyes. “Says who?” You question as he tilts his head. “We’re a family remember, please don’t leave us incomplete,” you plead opening your hand to him as he smiled taking it. “What will we say?” he asked Christopher, who looked at peace more then you witnessed. “We’re figure it later, but for now it’s just, owwwwww,” you cried buckling as they both carried you.

The both of them held your hands, supporting you switching roles as Christopher became more panicky having given into his locked emotions. While Changbin, since the conversation outside, took the stronger role, reaching out to bring your focus when you struggled.

When they lifted the tiny bundle into your wearily eyes you smiled at there doe eyed view, tears stains on both there cheeks. You closed your eyes embracing your new family till you viewed your daughter in your arms. Your features there in her nose and dimples, but you was suddenly taken back to reality. She was the spitting image of Juyeon.

You kept his features in the child they was besotted with from them. You knew Christopher was intrigued by the comments he made on features he knew was yours. But Changbin didn’t care, it was like he fell in love with the precious child that he never really wanted, past caring what his lover needed.

Christopher adored the view in Changbin’s eyes and he did the most selfless thing by suggesting a new move. Somewhere that no one knew them.

That instead of Christopher being the family man, that it be Changbin. Though your daughter was registered as Bang Jubin, it was Changbin that slipped into the daddy path, the fiancée.

Everything was perfect till the transfer for Christopher’s job was back in Seoul. Your worried face spilled as you dashed to ring Haknyeon, pleading to find out if Juyeon was still in the area. The huge relief hitting when he confirmed Juyeon had long moved away in an equally similar relationship with Eric, Elle & Lulu. Hearing that he hadn’t changed his ways reminded the tiniest guilt in you, that your relationship with Christopher & Changbin was better suited for Jubin.

Being back in Seoul was great. You was on the outskirts at Seongnam, Still a distance from being too intwined in Christopher’s work life, Changbin’s too as he joined the company, But not too deep in to your former life. It also meant you was more closer for Kevin, Haknyeon and Hyungjae to visit. Hyunjae even encouraging you to return to the club once a month. Meeting with Chanhee, Younghoon and Hwall was what you needed to get your life back. They was all in new relationships and they was all in your little circle of your new life with Changbin and Christopher. Family BBQ’s and many drinks enjoyed at your home where you felt complete.

You had even bumped into Sangyeon who had told you his brother Eric had married Elle, that he seemed to have grown up a little. However, Sunwoo was very much close and up to trouble, encouraging Juyeon’s many nights in other women that wasn’t Lulu. Though it was painful to hear how he continued to mess his relationships, you was glad that he wasn’t in your life no more.

You had met with Jacob and Changmin as well, you didn’t trust that they would run to Juyeon, so kept Jubin and the Christopher and Changbin situation from him. Jacob was happily married to Lia who you had met a couple of times when you had met them for lunch.

Life was perfect as you settled in your new routines in your new life. Watching Jubin and her fathers relationship grow was the most beautiful to witness. Changbin would be the crazy one, letting her get away with anything she wanted. Often rolling around the floor acting as if he matched her age.

Christopher was more the mother hen, making sure she was well fed, scorning you and Changbin both when you fed her too many sweets. He would be the one spending nights reading her story’s, helping to educate her.

As for your own relationship you had a room that was your master bedroom, it was the room that you mostly slept in with them both. Then there was your own and there’s for when they wanted there time. You knew very well you was the secondary relationship and you was fine with that. You adored them but your relationship with them wasn’t as fiery as there own for each other.

Every thing was perfect till the second it wasn’t. Your only worry was being the cover for the weekend on the arms of Changbin, where Christopher was also lurking, at there works colleagues wedding.

However, as your eyes brushed over Christopher in the room looking dashing in his suit your eyes saw him. You felt it without seeing him but you prayed for your mind losing itself. “Yeah he takes my breath away too,” Changbin moaned clearly being taken by his lovers view as well as earning your chuckle. The familiar body spinning to your attention a moment when you realised that it was most definitely who you thought it was, Lee Juyeon.

A small whimper escaping as you froze alerting Changbin to your distress. “Y/N,” he questioned looking worried. “What’s up? who is that? Is that him?” Changbin said as if he knew the answers from the one second yours and Juyeon’s eyes clashed. But you knew he could see his daughters features looking at him. Dashing from the hotel you ran out, you needed to ring Kevin to come collect you. You couldn’t be here, not around him, not when everything you ran from could blow up.

“Y/N please don’t run,” Changbin pleaded when you reached the cold air. “I can’t, I can’t do this,” you said as he calmed your shaking hands. “He’s who I think he is isn’t he?” He asked as you nodded confirming everything. “Fuck,” he cursed looking furious. “Sorry,” you whispered as he look startled rushing to pull you into his chest. “Y/N I’m not cross with you, I’m cross with myself, he knows I have a daughter, he’ll know it, he’ll work it out,” Changbin panicked. You looked up at him smiling at the fear he once had threatening him.

“He won’t, he’s not that clever, he would have forgotten any detail you said if it didn’t interest him.” You smiled trying to reassure him. “Y/N he’s so, you know he’s shagged the stripper the other night,” he said which earnt a laughter. You wasn’t surprised but how could he fear this man was anything in his league. “We keep Jubin away this weekend act like normal, show him we’re a couple not to be messed with,” you said reassuring him. “This should be me with you,” he pouted. “Well Chris’s stuck in there so I have to be him,” you said as he pulled you back in to his chest. “As if this wasn’t hard enough on him this weekend as it was,” you said in to his warm hold.

Your body stiffening when you noticed him. He look so dapper in his suit that it was easy to get lost in him if it wasn’t for his fuck boy ways. “Look I don’t want to cause any trouble I just wanted you to know that,” he said stepping closer. “I‘ll skip tonight if that makes you both more comfortable,” he added as Changbin looked at him, trying to smile when you could feel the tension in his body. “It’s ok,” You said to Changbin as he nodded almost realising it was time to show and paint the perfect unit you both shared. You watched as Changbin left to what you was sure was Christopher to seek his advice.

“Wow, I never imagined I’d see you here,” he joked earning a smile in return. “You look good,” he added, being his usual flirty self, he so hasn’t changed. “You too,” you replied, watching his eyes lift in pure delight. “So your engaged?” he whispered in almost pain especially when you confirm. “He’s a really decent guy, I like him,” he added. You was confused, he use to be as jealous and childish when it came to other men. Maybe there was a chance he had changed somewhat, especially his emotions towards you. Maybe this wouldn’t be hard, Lulu had to be here somewhere to take his interest elsewhere. Though you know seeing her face would be painful and burn there way through you, that you wasn’t looking forward to seeing her or Elle.

“Thanks,” you smiled to his compliment. “But your good right? Healthy?” He asked concerned. It was quite comical him asking on your well-being as if you was friends. “I’m healthy,” you reassured him, “and you?” You asked. “I’m good, even better now I’ve seen you,” he said smiling that usual flirty smile. Any doubt you had was blown away, it was clear he was hoping for something from you. “Any wife?” You asked to see if he would confess what you already knew. “No,” he replied, proving to you he hadn’t changed in any way. You thought you would be angry, but it was all you needed to confirm you had made the better choice for not just Jubin, but yourself.

“So no partner?” You asked again, to see if he would confess his fiancée in any light. “Not really,” he responded, his face showing his features when lying. You wondered if there was ever more then Lulu and Elle, recognising that look in his eyes. “That’s a shame,” you said softly lost in your thoughts. “Why did you just leave?” He blurted out, eyes blinking at his ability to throw that out so soon, deep down you was pissed. He knew full well why you upped and left. “I think we both know that our relationship was never coming back from that,” you said pursing your lips needing away from the slip of conversation thrown.

“Lee Juyeon what the fuck,” you heard Elle’s voice shriek behind you, watching him roll his eye slightly irked. Seeing her in the moment brought every memory you closed off back as you thought to battle to lock them back up. “Don’t you think you should be calming the hell down instead of screaming your head off,” he snarled at her with venom. “Don’t you dare use my condition at me,” she Seethed. What condition you wondered, she looked fine, blossoming infact. “Sorry I didn’t mean to keep him,” you said not wanting to be witness of what ever was going on. “Well he’s not yours to bother no more,” Elle snapped your way with pure hatred on her tongue as she claimed him. Of course you remembered Haknyeon telling you they had been in some four way relationship.

“Elle, it’s not what you think,” he tried to pacify her. “She can’t come back and start where she left,” Elle growled. “Think of the baby,” he whispered. Your world collided once more, she was pregnant, was that his child, that made it Jubin’s sibling. Your blood run cold, he was dead against abortions did he throw that at her too. But then she caught his eye then, even with you gone of course she trumped you now.

“I really wasn’t,” You paused to catch your breath that was slightly shaken. “I’m here with my own fiancée,” you added trying to smile warmly at her. “I should find him, nice seeing you again, both of you,” you said in a dash to escape so you could break down your emotions. “Congratulations by the way,” you added throwing over your shoulder to avoid giving eye contact.

Your spun hearing amusement in Juyeon as he chuckled. “You think, sorry me and her,” he chuckled in deep laughter, as Elle’s eyes narrowed in his direction. “She’s Eric’s wife that’s there baby,” he chuckled as Elle punched his arm. “Ask Eric yourself,” he added as Eric appeared not looking pleased. “You better not be stressing her out,” Eric growled walking there way. “No she’s doing that all by her self,” he said rolling his eyes. You took one last look and dashed away from them, there commotion and him.

“You ok?” Christopher’s eyes took yours as you made your way in to the hotel as they both stood there waiting for you. Shaking your head a few tears slipped as he pulled you into his safe hold. “If only we knew that was him,” Christopher said clearly in pain himself. “Can I ask, Ju wasn’t for Haknyeon was it?” He asked looking pained as you shook your head, watching pain assault him.

“Right we need to get it together, show him you two are perfect and tonight were talk more ok,” Christopher snapped out of it, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Pushing you into Changbin you felt the fear in his slightly tightened hold. “I hate him so much,” he growled into the kiss he gave on your crown. “Me too, he hasn’t changed,” you said to reassure him. “Can I punch him,” he chuckled and beneath the laughter you know there’s seriousness in his tone. “If it makes you feel better go for it,” you said despite deep down not wanting that. “Y/N you dark horse,” Jacob said snatching your attention. “Even Sangyeon knew, I’m hurt,” he said playfully.

You had just left Sangyeon, Jacob, Lia, Changbin and Christopher to make a trip to the rest room. On your way back you found Juyeon’s head leaning back towards the wall, eyes closed looking like he had a million things on his mind. You knew you should have left him to it, but you found yourself walking towards him instead.

“You ok?” You asked when his eyes opened to view you looking surprised at your appearance. “Yeah girl trouble,” he said more honest then you ever expected from him which took you by surprise. “Oh not a pregnant one then?” You teased with a wink testing to see if his view had changed. “No, no children thank god,” he scoffed, once more cutting your heart with a knife. It’s like you had to keep finding more confirmation that you did what was best for Jubin. “There not that bad, it’s a grown up thing,” you giggled to cover your slight anger cursing through you. “You saying I’m not grown up?” He teased filtering back to his flirtatious ways. “Don’t know ask me later,” you replied beneath the annoyance

“Y/N I need to tell you something,” he said looking serious for the first time that evening. “Hey baby,” Changbin said behind you as guilt attacked, he was already insecure as it was. “Hi,” you replied as Changbin pressed his lips to you momentarily before kissing you fiercely. You knew in that moment it was a show to reconfirm your relationship.

“You ok mate?” Changbin asked him with a clear smirk on his face. “Sunwoo and Minho’s looking for you,” He added on the hope to remove him. “Well I better go find them then,” he said before dashing off.

“What you up to Y/N?” He questioned you. “You said you hate him but yet your making excuses to see him,” Changbin accused making your eyes widen. “I was coming from the toilet, I made no excuses. I wish I could ignore him but we can’t.” You added pressing your hands down his sleeve on his shirt jacket. “It would be weird if we suddenly acted all coy,” you said brushing small kisses up his jaw letting it relax under your lips. “Y/N nows not the time for this,” Changbin choked. “We could always grab Christopher and have some fun,” you winked feeling his bulge grow between you. “Y/N don’t make this so much more harder,” he growled pushing you away to just lace his hand with yours. A clear line between you till he calmed himself down.

“Do you want a drink?” Juyeon asked appearing when you found yourself alone. “No but thanks for the offer,” you replied looking for Changbin in fear of another jealous moment. When he wasn’t In your view, Christopher neither, you knew they had slipped for there time. “What did you want to say anyway?” You asked him as he frowned.

He was just getting the courage to spill when your stomach clenched, the view in yours was Lulu. She hadn’t changed in the five years you was apart. Beautiful with some high sense of entitlement and clear define was trouble. “Lulu,” he gasped paling as he took his fiancée in. “Oh you remember who I am then?” She spat out. “You know your actual girlfriend,” she growled. Hearing the word slip from her mouth confirming there relationship oddly stung. “But bet you kept that detail from this whore,” Lulu sneered. Obviously he had, but her tone and name calling pushed your buttons. “Beg me pardon,” You replied putting a finger to silence Juyeon who was about to comment.

“Firstly there are no sex tapes of me on the web in some sordid threesome, I have better values in my life to have sex with a camera filming me. Secondly I’m not interested in your man, that’s why I left town. I’m here for my actual fiancée,” you added as Changbin approached making you strangely reassured. “Who well let’s say knows how to avoid a stripper or two,” you spat out looking at him in disgust watching his face fall. “So if you don’t mind getting out my way so I can go to my man,” you scoffed standing up to scoot past Lulu’s legs to meet Changbin, who was standing there, his hands open to you.

His features warm having read the room. “You ok?” He whispered, “not really I’m done with him and his silly floozy,” you said as he pulled you in to press a reassuring kiss to you. “Please don’t leave me alone around him again,” you pleaded having had enough from his company.

“Do you still have feelings for him?” Changbin asked when you curled up between him and Christopher who sneaked into your room. “Sometimes I have confusing emotions yes,” you said honestly as tiredness hit you. “But it’s ok I see him the way he was, the person that he became that hasn’t changed, I’m filled with hatred. So much more hatred then I actually thought I would,” you said as Changbin smirked pressing a kiss to your lips momentarily.

“Y/N don’t take our family away,” Christopher pleaded behind you.

Turning to face him you saw his pain, tears sliding down his face. “Don’t take her away from us,” he added as your eyes searched his in clear despair. “Oh baby what makes you think I would,” you reassured him hugging into him so tightly. “You love him, you don’t love us, but we’ve been there with Jubin through everything, we’re her dads,” he said almost crushing you with his strength. “Lee Juyeon could never be you two, you have nothing to worry about I promise you,” you said kissing his chest. Laying you onto your back his lips searching for you, for comfort. His fingers gentle as ever reaching for your skin as if he needed your body to prove to him. Changbin’s lips found there way to Christopher’s back pressing kisses as you three made love In a slow sexual need of togetherness.

You was admiring the blemishes from Changbin and Christopher over your body in the bathroom as you heard them having there moment in the bedroom. Though it was complicated, you cherished your relationship with them both.

Your phone flashing stole your thoughts as you picked up to Hyunjae. “Really we comfortable in our relationship for naked body’s,” Hyunjae said playfully closing his eyes. “Oh shhhh Lee Hyunjae I’m covered,” you said rolling your eyes. “Those bites need covering though, who came for tea,” he chuckled as you dead panned him.

“I’ll tell you who’s here though,” you said more seriously. “Lee Juyeon,” you added as his eyes widened. “You wait till Kevin hears he’ll snap you away, wow how’s the guys taking it?” He asked worried for his friends sanity. “Not too well there scared,” you said pouting. “Well we knew this day would come, I’m sure they wasn’t blind to think they could run forever. But even still just reassure them ok, Unless you,” he paused as you returned back to your dead pan expression.

Your features relaxed when you heard your daughter in the background. “Oh look who I got Bang Bin,” he coo’s her nickname. “Picking her up to look in the camera your way, his face looked at her with slight concern as you started communicating with her. His hands on her head told you there was reason to worry. “Every thing ok Hyunjae?” you asked as he smiled slightly your way. “Yeah I think she’s just got a cold coming, but she’ll be ok. I’ll ring Kevin and ask him to bring some Calpol when he comes for her later,” he said in an attempt to reassure you. “Y/N I promise you I’ll look after her ok, please don’t fret,” he said watching your worried glance. Having to watch him hang off after her crying did nothing to settle you.

“Why you hiding in here?” Christopher scoffed emerging into the bathroom. “Everything ok?” he asked. “Yeah, I just didn’t want to invade your time,” you smiled not wanting to let him worry about Jubin too. His eyes dropped as he rushed to you, “baby you know we’re a family unit, you can interfere in our time when ever you want,” he said pulling you in. His embrace much more tighter then usual as if he was scared that if he let you go you would disappear.

“So how do you really feel about Juyeon?” Christopher asked over breakfast. You looked around to see if you could find him not wanting him to overhear. “Weird if I’m honest, yes I have some emotions,” you said placing your food into your mouth as both there faces dropped. “But it’s not love, it’s like holding on to memories ones that sometimes was really good,” you added as Christopher eyes took to yours nodding as if he understood. “One minute I can get lost in the memories and then the next he reminds me why I ran from them, from him,” you said taking a sip of your coffee. “Please stop worrying, I love you both, your my family,” you reassured them by holding your hand out to Changbin winking at Christopher.

“So what do we do?” Changbin asked looking at you both. “Act like normal, not make him suspicious, not have him question anything,” Christopher said as you smiled his way. “As soon as this wedding finished we run and never look back,” he smiles grinning at peace with the end result in his mind. “I love that plan,” you smiled at them both. Anyone witnessed to the eyes you was brushing towards each other, would have had easily guessed your close relationship to Christopher as much as Changbin.

Elle’s voice however as she walked up to your table stole your attention. “Who do you think you are?” She shrieked as Eric caught up behind her as he tried to calm her. “I’m Y/N nice to meet you,” you smiled sipping your coffee as your eyes zoomed in on Changbin’s, ignoring her. “Why are you even here?” she snarled, “or is it revenge,” she added with venom in her voice as Eric tried to calmly call her name. “Elle I will be polite because your pregnant, but you must be dumb to not realise why I’m here,” you said looking sweetly at her. “I’m hungry it’s breakfast, I’m having mine with my fiancée,” you said stabbing your sausage showing the anger you was trying to contain. “Hey Y/N’s fiancée here,” Changbin said standing to hold his hand out to her.

She took one look at him turning her face in disgust as she looked down to you still avoiding eye contact. “She will leave you, if she had to run from love then she can run back towards it, mark my words,” Elle spat out as you felt Changbin shudder to her words. “Thanks for your insight but I think I trust the girl who didn’t enlist in infidelity relationships,” Changbin snarled as Christopher placed his hand on his arm.

“Who the fuck do you think you are talking to my wife like that?” Eric growled getting between them. “The partner of the person she thinks she can talk to with equal venom,” Changbin seethed widening his eyes to dare the irritated boyfriend. “Eric what the fuck man,” Sangyeon scolded as his hands rested heavy on his shoulder. “This is Minho and Ryujin’s wedding, this is not the place, stand the fuck down before I put you down,” he growled warning his younger brother. Turning he slipped off with Elle, while hearing her spill out uncivilised words under her breath. “You ok?” Sangyeon asked with concern as you nodded. “Nothing I couldn’t handle,” you smiled back. “If any of my brothers give you trouble just let me know, them I can slap,” he smirks. “It’s this wife that needs the slap, Elle’s lucky she’s pregnant,” you smirk as he emits a chuckle shaking his head.

“It’s that whore turning up with her new man and head fucking him,” Sunwoo growled in the corridor outside the rest room. “I don’t think it is you know. I think him seeing her is making him grow up,” Eric replied as you hid from there view. “He’s dumping one of the most beautiful woman ever for Y/N of all people,” Sunwoo said with spite in his voice. “He’s not, I’ve just told you that, he’s realised he doesn’t love her and is giving her a chance to find love elsewhere,” Eric said as Sunwoo chuckled. “Your so naive, you watch, he will dump Lulu and be in Y/N’s bed in no time,” Sunwoo said in amusement. “Your wrong, he’s happy for her new relationship, he just wants her to be happy,” Eric argued back. “This is Y/N Eric, the Love of his life, the reason why he won’t have children with anyone because he wants Y/N to be the mother of them,” Sunwoo scoffed.

Your heart thundering really fast, he wanted kids with you. “Do you really think he’s father worthy? not that it matters, he’ll leave this weekend and leave Y/N and Changbin be because he’s maturing, I suggest you catch up and do the same,” Eric said to his hyung. “Yes he’s brilliant with kids how can you say that about him, one day he’ll make a good father. But mark my words that’s where him and Y/N will end up, because dumping Lulu leads him to Y/N,” Sunwoo said confidently as if he saw a side that no one else did. “Your wrong hyung,” Eric snorted as he walked away.

You rested your head against the bathroom wall. Sunwoo had painted his love for you being the most powerful thing, he had imagined children but only with you. Had you made a mistake? If he knew that it was you pregnant and not Haknyeons friend would his response been different? Had you deprived your daughter of her dad to find out that actually the family you dreamed about could have happened. Closing your eyes Changbin and Christopher flashes in your mind. They had been perfect and amazing and had such a strong loving role with her, but Juyeon was her blood, her dna.

“You ok?” Ryujin asked slipping into the restroom. “Yes just,” , “The Juyeon and Lulu situation,” she smiled cutting you off. “Sorry, I hate it’s over shadowing your day,” you said with sorrowful eyes. “It’s ok it’s been quite interesting actually,” she smiled as she slipped to the cubical. “What do you mean?” you asked into the room. “Well at first, I always thought he was an ass who could never change, but you know I saw a side to him today that I think is him changing,” she said almost in admiration. “Lee Juyeon change, you have high hopes don’t you,” you stifled a laugh as she emerged to walk to wash her hands. “Y/N I heard what happened, why you have every reason to hate him. I’ve seen the many girls he hurt when he would visit,” she paused looking through the mirror to walk to the other side of the room.

“But I believe deep down he loves you and has never let you go,” she said turning to face your way. “Minho use to say you was his ideal family unit and without you he never wanted a future. He believes that’s why he put up with Lulu, deep down he hates her for making him lose you,” she finished smiling her usual angelic features. “So why change now when I’m with someone else,” you asked intrigued. “Only Juyeon can answer that, but me, my belief is he can see how your happy, how the dream is just that, a dream. I think he’s finally ready for reality and will clasp his own true love. But deep down he knows that can never be with a woman who he blames took you from him. Because like you know, he likes to not take his own responsibility,” she added smiling, pressing her hand on your shoulder. “So yes it did slightly over shadow this weekend, but we both know that come tomorrow it will be as peaceful as ever and will go beautifully,” she smiled warmly.

You was sat peacefully on the bench outside the hotel with Ryujin when Juyeon pulled up, his face red from clearly sobbing. You was startled when Elle stormed towards him face full of thunder as she slapped him. It was like he was defeated and expected it, closing his eyes as he slowly opened it to view the angry friend of who you presumed was now his ex.

“Your scum Lee Juyeon, a dirty piece of scum,” she seethed as she continued with her tirade of abuse his way as he stood there dishevelled and defeated. “You better take me to her,” she said turning to Eric. “Hello wedding,” He replied pointing at Ryujin, his eyes widened with slight annoyance. “I don’t give a fuck this is my best friend, no offence,” she said between Eric and Ryujin. “None taken,” Ryujin replied with her usual smile as Eric relently followed.

He refused eye contact with you as you past which filled you with the sudden desire to hold him tight. Seeing him so lost, hurt you more then you liked to admit.

“It was worth the years waiting to see that face, he’s had this totally coming,” Sangyeon smirked pleased with witnessing Juyeon’s pain. “It definitely sounds like he’s finally got his Karma,” Christopher added. “Oh yes he’s more dirty then a dirty dog,” he smiled into his whisky. You couldn’t explain it but you was pissed at Sangyeon’s mocking of Juyeon’s situation.

“For someone that’s married you are not half enjoying yourself for something in the past,” you spat out as they all looked at you with widened eyes. “You telling me that you didn’t enjoy that, after what they did to us,” Sangyeon asked looking at you with eyes he expected you would agree with. “No not one bit, he may have deserved it, but he didn’t deserve the public humiliation,” you said looking at him sternly. “Public humiliation, they fucked for the whole world to see,” Sangyeon scoffed. “Yes the tape you uploaded,” you growled being fed up with the whole topic. “Ok maybe timeout,” Christopher said with a nervous laughter. “I’m tired I need a lay down,” you scoffed getting off your seat as Sangyeon watched in silence.

“Y/N, hold up,” Changbin said wrapping his hands warmly around you smiling at you, which you mirrored. You remained in silence till you reached your hotel room as he pulled you in pressing kisses to your crown. “I’m worried you don’t seem ok?” He asked looking down at you. “It just wasn’t a good feeling seeing his pain,” you said pursing your lips. “Your still in love with him aren’t you?” He asked with pain in his eyes. “No, no just I feel for him, you know pity,” you replied. “Y/N I’m not asking as Jubin’s father, or your fiancée, I’m now asking as a friend,” he said not believing you. “I promise you I’m not in love with him,” you smiled pressing up to kiss him on the lips. “Just promise me, that if your feelings for him changes, your tell me. Because I know deep down him and Jubin was your dream family,” Changbin said with pain. “Changbin you, Christopher and Jubin are my dream family,” you said holding him tight letting yourself engulf in his comfort.

“However, can you let me do something?” You asked watching panic fill his face when you glimpsed up. “I don’t like the sound of it already, he chuckled slightly. “Ryujin said he might need guidance with his best man speech,” you paused as his features slightly relaxed. “Can I go to his room and help him. It also gives me a chance to check he’s ok,” you asked as he closed his eyes. “We can do it together if you promise to play nice,” you suggest as he opens his eyes to smile down at you. “No I trust you, plus I’m sure Christopher can entertain me,” he smirked breathing in deeply.

Watching Juyeon’s surprised face was amusing when he found you stood there with a bottle of wine and two glasses in your hand. “Thought you could do with cheering up,” you smiled as you walked into the room that was silent. “That and Ryujin was worried about your speech,” you confessed chuckling. “Thanks I’d appreciate that but won’t Changbin mind?” He asked. “No he’s cool about it,” you smiled as you perched yourself on his bed. You looked around the room, before taking his eyes into your view once more as he looked deep in thought.

“I heard about Lulu,” you said watching him purse his lips. “Bet you think how evil I am?” He asked looking Ashamed yet also depressed looking. “No I think that your growing up, I heard what you said to Eric, how you didn’t want to hurt her anymore when you didn’t love her,” you said. “How did you hear that?” He asked. “I heard Eric tell Sunwoo, I see things haven’t changed between those two gossiping,” you asked. “Sunwoo thought it was because of me but Eric reassured him it wasn’t, is that true?” You asked a little anxious for his reply. “Y/N if your asking me do I love you still, then sorry yes I do. But if your asking do I want you then no I don’t, I’ve hurt you too many times already. As you said once there’s cheating there’s no coming back,” he said his eyes focused on you. You could see the pain in his eyes, the love he clearly held for you still.

Your memories flashing in your mind. The happier times with you both, to know he still felt something like you use to share, built a warmth in your core. In a sharp second you pictured what you knew you shouldn’t.

His face of beaming happiness telling him you was pregnant. Holding your hand pressing kisses to your forehead as you delivered him his daughter. The way he would dote on his child, the very child that existed outside the memories you had faked in your mind. Silence filled the air as you leaned towards him like you couldn’t stop yourself. Your lips just inches from his, you wanted to kiss him so badly and have that tongue on yours.

But he placed his hand on your shoulder to keep you distanced from him, with fear in his eyes that stung. “Y/N don’t, don’t be me, don’t do this to Changbin, he’s a good man,” he said looking to the floor. Your heart breaking not just because he had rejected you, but because you was reminded of Changbin & Christopher. There pain hitting you that they would feel, especially after Changbin trusted you here.

Deep down however, despite knowing he was in love with you you was surprised at his restraint. “I was trying to remove the fluff in your hair,” you lied finding a piece randomly there. Feeling guilty for your lies you reached for it to show him struggling to hide your blush. “But it’s good to see you putting someone else’s feelings before your own, nice to see a grown up Juyeon, it suits you,” you smirked impressed. “Thanks, I think,” Juyeon smiled back.

You spent the evening discussing yours and Changbin’s relationship fitting to the story that you told most people, missing Jubin’s existence. Juyeon mentioned about his own, hearing his admission to his own negative behaviour. You got lost between the giggles, catch up and drinking of the wine that you brought. You found yourself looking at him like you once did the first time you drank with him. When you realised how you liked him when he showed his non fuck boy side. You was only reminded of the life you did have now when the door knocked.

You knew instantly it was Changbin and the guilt attacked as you moved to the table, pen in hand helping to finish his speech.

“Is she still here?,” he asked as your heart thundered feeling guilty as if you had done something wrong. “Thank you for letting her help me I appreciate it,” you heard him say as you dashed to finish the speech. “Please look after her, she’s special, no one should hurt her like I did,” you heard him admit, that made your heart ping in emotions you couldn’t explain.

He was in love with you, avoided your advances and now was begging one of the guys who had done nothing but look after you to take care of you. “I promise,” Changbin said walking up to kiss your crown. You looked up to the face of pure love for you in his eyes and despite the shame of letting your feelings open for Juyeon, you couldn’t help but be lost in his eyes. You could do this for Changbin, hold on till the wedding. Out of sight out of mind you had to try.

“So how was it?” Changbin asked on his way to the hotel room. “I think he’s realised that the way he behaves isn’t acceptable anymore,” you smiled. “What does that mean for you, for us?” He asked not completely too sure of the emotions you must have not managed to hold tight. “What’s it to do with us?” you asked looking at him as he didn’t know how to take your comment. “No feelings?” He asked almost pleadingly that filled you with guilt. “Pity and I suppose respect for trying to change his ways, that’s really it,” you smiled plastering a smile that you knew didn’t fit.

To be honest you didn’t know how you felt about it. But you knew if Juyeon’s fuck boy mentality was slightly there, you would have fucked him and ruined everything that you had built the last five years.

The wedding had gone amazing. Minho and Ryujin looked seriously loved up. You spent most the time clinging to Changbin but your eyes often wandering towards Juyeon. You smiled at the way Juyeon looked, he seemed care free and being amusing to his friends, sometimes with your help. Even Elle laughed at one of his jokes, sternly changing her expression when his eyes fixed with hers. You suspected deep down there was more emotion there, but you didn’t care to even contemplate because you had your own family. Dancing with Changbin most the night had been fun, Christopher sliding in a few times while you was all changing partners making it look so innocent.

“Your beautiful you know that right?” Christopher complimented smiling heavenly your way. “Why didn’t you tell me Jubin was poorly?” he said smiling despite the tone in his voice laced with pain. “I didn’t want to worry you,” you breathed in deeply. “She’s my daughter too I’m entitled to worry,” he said looking hurt. “I’m sorry, i was just,” , “busy with her real father,” Christopher added clearing having held his annoyance all day. “No Christopher no, that’s not what it is,” you said looking into his lost eyes. “I swear I didn’t want you to worry I thought it was my time to be the strong one, she’s ok it’s just a cold,” you tried to reassure him, but his eyes was breaking like he was seeing through you.

“Y/N the way you two look at each other that is love, I know it’s the way Changbin looks at me, and you,” he says spinning you to go with the flow of the music. “I,” , “Please don’t promise no more, because I feel it in my bones that there’s a chance you can’t keep it,” Christopher said biting his lip almost in pain. “Just don’t take Jubin away from me and Binnie,” he pleads as his hands slip. You watch him smile behind you as you turn to face Juyeon.

“Can I have this dance?” He asked as you turned to look back at Christopher who was walking away. Split between wanting to fix what ever situation was occurring with you and Christopher but the warmth Juyeon was offering. Shamelessly you chose the latter enjoying the way he felt in your Arms. Even when Changbin stole you back in, he handed you back to him. “I like this,” Juyeon said pulling you in for a slower dance as you rested your head into his chest. His heart beating under your ears reminding you of the many nights you’d lay listening to him sleep. “Like what,” you asked on the hope he would clarify. “Us being like this, despite our own relationships, being friends I suppose,” he said pressing his head towards yours for more warmth. “Well we are friends aren’t we?” You chuckled as he swayed you. “Yes but we have a past one I’m ashamed at but sadly can’t change. Seeing you loved up with Changbin makes me glad that it worked out well for you,” he choked.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket you suspected it was Christopher who you still couldn’t find in the wedding room, so you left it. You would have to deal with the Christopher melt down tomorrow, there would only be a few hours left. Deep down you didn’t want to be parted from Juyeon yet. “I should pass you back to Changbin I need to see Eric anyway,” he smiled pushing you off him by his arms. His eyes was watery showing that he also was struggling with the upcoming goodbye.

You watched as he left the room, “knew I was right about you,” Sunwoo snarled breaking your attention. “You can’t help yourself ruining his life once more,” he growled as you looked at the anger in his voice. “Sunwoo you need to back the fuck down, me and Juyeon are just friends,” you bit out. “What like you and Christopher are,” he smirks as your face falls. “Or that kid your hiding back home,” he adds as you pale stepping back in fear. How had he worked it out?

Your stomach clenching as you felt your throat almost close up, the phone ringing in your back pocket now just faded as you go numb. “You see I’ve done some digging of my own, how clever am I, and i worked out something fantastic,” he smirked with tethering anger. “Your just the cover,” he gloated pressing into your hearing. “For there relationship and for the daughter that is actually Juyeon’s,” he growls into your ear.

“What the fuck Sunwoo are you on something,” you choke out, your body shaking in fear. Juyeon was in the same building you couldn’t escape even if you wanted to. “The kids mine, so think you need to get your own facts clearer,” Christopher said joining you both, his hands hold you in as you barely can stand. “Of course she is,” he smirks, “but I tell you what if you leave, go, let him be, I won’t tell him. You can live what ever fucked up play girl shit you got going on,” he snarled.

Before you could comment a fist swung, compacting with his jaw knocking him to the floor. Your eyes widened as Changbin growled over him alerting everyone’s attention. “Play your games all you like but hold your nasty disrespecting mouth closed,” Changbin growled as Felix and Hyunjin came to hold him back. You looked at the wedding that seemingly got chaotic as you fought back tears. Minho & Ryujin giving looks in disgust did nothing to help you as Christopher held most of your weight. “Y/N breathe, it’ll be ok,” Christopher reassured you. Sangyeon pulled his brother up looking angry in his view. “When will you stop taking in that man’s wars,” he growled in his youngers face. “When she stops running with Juyeons daughter,” Sunwoo shouted above the music that had been silenced slightly.

You saw everyone’s face look to you, Jacob, Sangyeon, Eric, the horror in there face at your betrayal. Not even Felix and Hyunjin could stop Changbin’s anger as he threw himself at Sunwoo. Jisung, Jeongin and Seungmin dashing to there work colleague to drag him off the battered bruised Sunwoo, who was laughing with amusement at your world ending, despite his battered condition.

Christopher’s grip never leaving as tears fell down your eyes. How long was it before the news reached Juyeon? “We need to go now, leave before he hears,” you spun to Christopher pleading. You both began to leave, Changbin following when Sunwoo continued his tirade.

“What’s up your cover about to break Christopher,” he cursed, “time to hand the stolen child back,” Sunwoo continued as Sangyeon shook him fiercely trying to stop him. Instead of Changbin it was Christopher this time who flew at him, it didn’t matter who got between them he pushed them away. “Changbin please stop him,” you pleaded looking at him when his own face froze at the person standing behind you.

Fearing it was Juyeon you spun to see instead it was Haknyeon. You breathed a sign of relief till you took his worried face. “Where’s Jubin?” You asked, the commotion behind disappearing as Changbin held you tight. “She’s in the car, she’s really not well, she needs a hospital,” Haknyeon said with fear in his eyes. You looked back at Christopher who was still spinning words with Sunwoo, parted by loads of party goers.

“It’s fine you two go, I’ll bring Christopher once he’s calmed,” Jacob said, you looked at him smiling as he smiled his warmly ones at yours. You dashed out the hall, Changbin’s hands laced with yours behind Haknyeon. But you came face to face with the worst scenario ever, by the car was Juyeon just feets away from His own daughter. Has he heard already? Did he know?

“Your a mum?” He gasped. His choice of words told you he didn’t know yet but time was against you. You nodded looking to Kevin who looked really concerned. “She’s got a really bad temperature she needs a hospital,” Juyeon said looking at you with worry. If he didn’t know he was hers, the fact he showed concern warmed your heart. “Thanks mate we appreciate that,” Changbin said clasping him to get him away from the car as you slipped in.

“Hello baby, oh mummy’s missed you so much,” you said kissing her, surprised at the burn to your lips from her hot temperature. “Wow it really is hot,” you said crying to Kevin as Haknyeon slipped behind you. “Was nice meeting you,” Changbin said before stepping into the car. “Is Jubin ok?” He added, his concerned eyes taking yours as Kevin drove in speed. “She’s really hot Binnie,” you cried. “Ring Christopher please,” you said needing the comfort of the one person who usually holds the fort. The fear of Juyeon finding out at any moment disappeared because in that moment your daughter was your biggest concern.

It wasn’t long when Christopher arrived, his eyes red swollen and starting to blacken as you wrapped your arms around him. “Where is she?” He asked struggling with the tears. “She’s with Binnie having tests,” you started sobbing as he held you tight. “It’ll be ok, she’ll be ok, she’s a tough little fighter, just like her dad,” he said as you chuckled into him. “Take it you really beat Sunwoo’s ass,” you sniggered a little glad someone put him in his place.

“Well yeah that too,” he said awkwardly. His words clicking in as you looked at him in fear. “Juyeon did that didn’t he?” You said touching the darkening skin that was forming around the swelling. “He knows now don’t he?” you cried as you felt like you could faint at any moment. Nodding he remained silent as the tears returned, your world was crashing once more.

You didn’t talk about Juyeon, not being able to handle his knowledge in Jubins existence as well as Jubins illness. Your hands brushing your sleeping child’s hair as the words between Christopher and Changbin sounded like echos. She looked so poorly with the drip in her arms, her wearily expressions. Why didn’t you take Hyunjae’s words in? why didn’t you answer the phone that rang while you danced with Juyeon? You had royally fucked up as a mother and would do anything to see her smile and play with her toys once more.

You stood when the doctor entered, Christopher’s arms finding there way back to hold you, forever your strength when he equally was scared. “What’s up Doc?” Changbin said with worried features matching yours and Christopher’s. “Jubin’s got a nasty infection, it’s nothing we can’t cure without antibiotics,” he said as you all breathed in a sign of relief. Droping when you took the doctors still serious face in yours. “What is it?” Changbin pressed.

“Her iron levels are dangerously low,” he said with pure worry. “How? Why? Because just the infection?” Christopher said panicking. “We believe we’ve ruled out anything else causing the iron low levels, it’s just the infection,” he said slightly smiling.

“But,” Changbin added for him to continue. “She needs a blood transfusion, Jubin is AB negative it’s a rare blood group, normally we would be stocked but we’re not,” he added. “That’s fixable then one of us can give her blood,” Changbin said confused at the fuss. “Y/N isn’t AB, Jubin’s birth records shows a different blood group, so only the paternal blood line,” he paused looking at them in fear of there reaction to his next words. “I noted in your notes that you wasn’t the biological fathers,” the doctor said as all your faces fell.

“She needs Juyeon,” Christopher choked looking at you as you look at him in fear once more. “Y/N he knows now, we can’t keep running, he can save her,” Christopher said. “We’re sort it,” you smiled at the doctor nodding. “It needs sorting fast,” he said looking between Changbin & Christopher. “I’m on it,” Christopher said leaving to follow the doctor. “Chris,” you cried, “we’re still a family right?” you pleaded as he smiled your way. “Juyeon could never stop me loving her, but this I can’t fix I wish I could, I hate this but we need him,” Christopher said holding his tears at bay before dashing from the room.

Changbin silently stroking Jubin’s hair pressing kisses to her crown, Incase Juyeon’s appearance would make him less her dad to her. “Say something,” you said looking at him tears falling. “What do you want me to say, Christopher’s right we can play dad all we want, but we don’t have the same blood to save her,” he said tears slipping from his eyes. “That doesn’t make you less then her dad, you’ve given her love, your heart, that sometimes counts for way much more,” you smiled at him as he sniffled. “Even if I have to stop being her father, I’m glad for every second I was one,” he smiled.

“Well it’s good I’m not asking you to step down,” Juyeon said startling you as he stood next to Christopher. “How? that was Quick?,” you questioned. “Do you think I would have let you run that fast from me again without answers?,” he smiles. “I was doing a hospital sweep, Christopher found me in reception,” He smiled but looks slightly worn with emotions. “But there’s time to talk later, let’s save this beautiful princess’s life,” he smiled. “Lets find this doctor,” he added.

“Where do we go from here?” You asked Juyeon who was stood in the corner of the room as you watched your sleeping daughter start her treatment. Juyeon’s blood filling her with the iron she needed to get better alongside the antibiotics. “I will be what ever and who ever you need me to be. But answer me this, was you the friend Haknyeon was speaking about years back?” He asked as you nodded. “Oh Y/N I know what I said to him wasn’t nice, but if I thought that was you I would have been there in a heartbeat. That word that made you continue to run wouldn’t have been said,” he explained. “Even in my most immature moment,” he added as your eyes took to Jubin. “Kevin said Changbin & Christopher dote on her in a way I could never match,” Juyeon said as you nodded. “They’ve been amazing they love her with there everything,” you explained as he closed his eyes tight.

Bang Ju Bin sounds perfect for a child with three dads,” he smiled. “But in the real world it’s confusing as it is so how about I stay as an uncle,” he suggested. “A better one then those three muppets out there,” he scoffed. “If your talking about Hyunjae, Kevin and Haknyeon they’ve been my rock too, I can’t thank them enough,” you said sternly as he put his ego back in a box.

“Can we come in?” Christopher asked slightly opening the door from there drink run. “She’s your daughter, you don’t need to ask my permission, I’m just her crazy dysfunctional uncle,” he smiled there way as they tilted there heads. “Three men and a little lady, I think that’s our new title,” Juyeon smirked as Jubin stirred.

“I better go before she wakes, for now I’m a stranger, but when she’s home let me know, I’ll come over, but I’m not taking her from you, I promise,” Juyeon said pressing his hand to there shoulders. “Thanks,” Christopher choked out, tears slipping down his face.

“Daddy,” Jubin croaked out as Changbin dashed to her side holding her hand tightly, Christopher following. “Have you got some sweets?” She cried out weakly as you giggled looking at Christopher. “Oh go on, just this once go be the bad dad sugaring our daughter up,” Christopher said rolling his eyes to Changbin. Your eyes fell on Juyeon still hovering at the door, he smiled nodding before leaving, tears slipping down his face.

You knew what ever the future held it was going to be equally chaotic, especially watching Juyeon learn to be a dad, hidden beneath the uncle shawl he clearly wanted to wear.

But worse you knew you was in major risk of falling in love with him again. You struggled this whole weekend, you knew having him forever in your life was going to be your downfall.

Your promises falling one by one at the two men who had saved you, even willingly stepping aside for Juyeon to save the girl they cherished so much. But though you knew your relationship was secondary to there’s, you knew that your own with them both was equally strong.

Maybe you needed to grow up too and start being honest with yourself.

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illuminatedquill · 3 years

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Extracurricular, An Analysis

Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri

“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is sign on as it’s accomplice.” - Tom Robbins

You know the story. You’ve heard it before, right?

Boy meets girl.

Girl finds out that boy is running a side protection business for prostitutes.

Girl decides to blackmail boy into letting her join his business.

Classic high school criminal shenanigans ensue leading them into more dangerous situations where they are forced to make desperate decisions to stay alive.

Oh, and they fall in love along the way.

Oh? You haven’t heard this one before? Then let me introduce you to this delightful kdrama called Extracurricular.

I watched this one while waiting for the newest Hometown Cha Cha Cha episodes to drop and ended up binging the whole series in two days. There are many remarkable parts of this series: it’s a crime drama, first and foremost, that showcases high school teenagers caught in a cycle of violence and crime, abandoned by the society and adults that are supposed to be protecting them. There are no clear good guys and bad guys in this drama; everyone is cast in shades of grey. Our main leads, Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri, run the prostitution business, and are both from broken family backgrounds. Their actions are morally questionable at best, but the top tier performances from Kim Dong Hee (you might remember him from Itaewon Class) and Park Ju Hyun make you cheer for them anyway. You want them to have a happy ending, despite the horrible things they do. The audience is always reminded that despite how clever they are in staying ahead, their actions have consequences, and they’re just high school kids. The drama never pulls it punches.

But, weirdly enough, it’s also a love story. And that’s the part the really sticks with me until now. (The chemistry between the main leads is absolute dynamite and I could watch ten episodes of them just verbally sparring with each other. They don’t even kiss. They’re that fantastic when together on screen.)

I’m writing this because this is undoubtedly one of my all time favorite kdramas and I have a lot of feelings about our main pairing, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri. I can’t call them a couple (wait, didn’t I just say they fall in love) because their relationship can’t be labelled simply as that. Think of it as something similar to the main leads in My Ahjussi. Two people who should have become soulmates, yet met at the wrong time.

This kdrama is not particularly happy, and while I do encourage people to watch this, I am warning that the subject matter is extremely dark. If you’re sensitive to scenes depicting sexual assault, graphic violence, or anything in that zip code you’ll want to steer clear.

Also, I’ll be diving into spoiler territory in this analysis. So if you want to go in clean, then stop reading here.

Still here? Awesome. Let’s dive deep into the messy, amazing pairing that is Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri. First, let’s do a brief character background on our two main leads, starting with Ji-soo.

Oh Ji-soo is one half of our main pairing and this story starts with him. He lives by himself and has been essentially abandoned by his only parents; his father is a failed businessman who gambles whatever money he acquires on scams and his mother ran away. His apartment is small, sparse, but functional. He owns only a few outfits aside from his school uniform. The only unique item he owns is a pet hermit crab that he takes care of. His life outside of school is non-existent; he has no friends, no one to hang out with and do typical high school teenager activities with. He takes care of himself and lives only for himself and his “dream”: to graduate, attend college, get married, and have kids like a normal person.

But to do that, he needs a large amount of money. He has no other financial means to do so (his father is largely absent, as is his mother), so he decides, at some point, to start up this protection business for prostitutes. The drama doesn’t go into detail about the how and why he came to this conclusion that this was the best way to make a lot of money in a short amount of time, so you’ll have to suspend your disbelief from the get go. Considering the themes of the story (how youths abandoned by society tend to act out in extreme ways to make it in this world), it’s not hard to believe his desperation would drive him to make such a decision.

Ji-soo, despite his shady business, is actually a decent person. There’s a streak of humanity that exists inside him that refuses to go out, despite the increasingly dark and bleak events that start to overtake his life. He’s attached to his hermit crab, cares for his “employees” outside of them being tools to make him money, and doesn’t want to see anyone get hurt. He goes above and beyond what’s required to help out people at the risk of his own life (in particular, Gyu-ri, and we’ll get into that shortly).

What we learn from the first few episodes is that Oh Ji-soo is extremely smart and methodical in how he approaches his life. At school, he is known as a model student - quiet, top of the class in terms of grades, doesn’t draw any attention to himself, always follows along with what the teachers ask of him. Only his homeroom teacher, Mr. Cho, seems to consider his quiet style of existence to be concerning and tries to make him less socially awkward by pairing him up with another student in a new extracurricular club. This leads to the introduction of Bae Gyu-ri, Ji-soo’s longtime crush and future partner-in-crime.

Meet Bae Gyu-ri, the other half of our dynamic duo. Her introduction into the story kickstarts the entire plot, as one of her earliest actions leads to a domino effect that spells increasing doom and tragedy for our main leads. She messes with Ji-soo’s operation at a critical moment and she spends the rest of the drama doing her best to make up for the consequences that follow.

In my personal opinion, she is probably the best main female lead I’ve ever seen in a kdrama. Hands down, no other character exists (currently) that rivals her sheer cunning, wit, and badassery. Gyu-ri is Crazy, capital C, and is the chaos to Ji-soo’s control; the fire to his ice. Despite being the direct cause of half the events that happen to Ji-soo in the drama, he can’t help but need her because of what she offers. They make an incredible team. Her competitiveness, her need to win no matter the odds, helps them survive time and time again.

Gyu-ri is from the opposite end of the spectrum of Ji-soo; he’s dirt poor and she’s insanely rich (always nice to see a reversal of typical kdrama tropes). Her mother and father run a successful entertainment company. Gyu-ri is popular at school, friends with seemingly everybody, pretty, cheerful and gets along well with her teachers. Ji-soo, and the audience, believe from the beginning that she has the perfect life. It’s not hard to believe that she’s just involving herself in Ji-soo’s business because she’s bored and needs an outlet, at first.

We soon learn otherwise. Gyu-ri has more in common with Ji-soo than he initially realizes, in that they’re both trapped in circumstances beyond their control - it’s just that Gyu-ri’s cage is gilded, whereas his is not. Her parents are strict and have her life planned out for her, all without her consent or input, leaving her feeling frustrated and powerless despite her rich lifestyle. A suicide attempt hasn’t done much to change her parents attitude towards her, only serving to further their control over her life.

So, when she learns of Ji-soo’s operation she immediately seeks to angle her way into it. First, she tries to rip him off, believing that he’s an evil “pimp” and thus deserves it. But after spending some time with him, she changes her mind last second and decides to help him out instead.

And, now, let’s get into their relationship, which is one of the best (if not the best) aspect in the entire series.

I need to be upfront about something: the relationship between Ji-soo and Gyu-ri is not exactly healthy. I wouldn’t describe it as toxic - the circumstances surrounding them aren’t exactly the best environment to encourage open and honest communication - but it’s definitely not what should be considered ideal, especially for young adults, and especially for young adults who are dabbling in crime instead of studying.

So, why do I love them so much? If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you know that I loathe toxic relationships in kdramas, so I understand if you think I’m coming off as hypocritical here. Why do I like Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri when I didn’t like, for example from recent history, (oh boy, here I go again on my Nevertheless BS) Park Jae-eon and Yu Na-bi?

First, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri are way cooler than Jae-eon and Na-bi ever could be. They run a criminal enterprise that involves having a high amount of intelligence, cunning, and daring to do so. Do Jae-eon and Na-bi run a criminal enterprise as a side business? No, they don’t, because they’re boring art students.

Secondly, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri actually progress in their relationship and change their views as they learn from each other. Now, granted, that progress isn’t towards becoming better versions of each other - quite the opposite. But at least they have progress. Jae-eon and Na-bi stayed in the same stupid cycle for the whole series and then decided that it was better staying that way as opposed to trying for something else.

Last, but certainly not least, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri are actually interesting to watch for me. The chemistry between Park Ju Hyun and Kim Dong Hee is explosive and they way they spar, exchange looks, and just generally exist around each other on screen is something I can watch forever. I’ve said this before but Han So Hee and Song Kang’s on screen chemistry, outside of their intimate scenes, really didn’t impress me.

Okay, back to Extracurricular. This relationship, man. It’s all I can think about (other than HomeCha’s Du-sik and Hye-jin, but that’s another post). Ji-soo and Gyu-ri are so good together.

I’ve noted before that Ji-soo is methodical in how he approaches his life; he plans out everything ahead, and rigs any situation as much as he can in his favor. It’s brilliant, but when a crisis happens, he doesn’t know how to deal with it effectively. He panics and flounders; becomes indecisive at a time when clear, decisive action is required.

Enter Gyu-ri. She quickly becomes the partner he never knew he needed. When there’s a situation, she becomes invaluable in her quick thinking and wit, coming up with solutions on the fly. It’s not perfect, but it keeps them just one small step ahead of whatever is coming their way.

The only thing preventing them from becoming unstoppable is the lack of communication and trust they have with each other. A lot of that has to do with how Gyu-ri entered Ji-soo’s business - she blackmailed him first, and, when that failed, she strong armed her way into getting him to accept her help. It’s implied in the drama that Ji-soo has had a crush on Gyu-ri for a while (since ninth grade, I believe) and in the first episode he actually gets the chance to spend time with her outside of school on a sort of quasi-date.

It goes sideways pretty quickly because of some shenanigans from his business, but not before she gets to know him and says some pretty touching words regarding his situation. Poor guy is head over heels - even after finding out that she’s the one blackmailing him, his feelings are only dampened, not extinguished. When he catches a glimpse of her family’s situation, he gains a deeper understanding of her and why she acts the way she does. Even more importantly, Ji-soo treats her the same after finding out this information which, to someone like Gyu-ri, means more than if he comforted her about it.

If you want to see a physical representation of how he feels, other than paying attention to his actions, you can see it in him keeping mementos from Gyu-ri. She has an interesting habit of folding bags into origami shapes and giving it to him. Even after the blackmail reveal, you can see that he continues to keep these in a container on his desk. It’s really cute that he keeps these, when it probably doesn’t even matter that much to Gyu-ri.

Towards the end of the drama, Ji-soo prepares to turn himself in to prevent Gyu-ri from being implicated in the crimes they committed. And it costs him almost everything to protect her. Ji-soo, the quiet, nerdy kid, puts himself on the line time and time again to protect Gyu-ri, knowing that it puts his life and his dream at risk to do so. And all for what? For some girl that he thinks doesn’t even like him in return?

Well, let’s talk about that. Because I’ve seen some comments that Gyu-ri was only using Ji-soo for her own selfish gain. And I can agree that was how it was at the beginning for her; she definitely was only interested in acquiring money, like Ji-soo was, in order to achieve her own goal of being free from her parents.

But, oh man, that is not what is motivating her at the end.

It’s actually pointed out relatively early by some of her friends that it’s obvious that she likes Ji-soo more than he likes her. Understandably Ji-soo is keeping her at arms length from him given the whole recent blackmailing, so it would make sense that it looks that way.

Further questioning reveals what she likes the most about him:

“It’s not like I’m crazy about him. He’s fun. And amusing. He’s smart. And there’s a certain charm he has. He also has a wolfish side to him. But he thinks he’s a puppy.”

- Bae Gyu-ri

But, as she gets to know Ji-soo better, you can certainly see that she starts to fall hard for him. As a cover story for why they hang out so much together during and after school, Gyu-ri states to everyone that they’re dating. The reactions across the school definitely imply that this is a shocking development, which means that Gyu-ri hasn’t dated anyone before. So why Ji-soo other than the reasons she herself states?

He challenges her, just as she challenges him. Gyu-ri may be the more dynamic, quick thinking of the pair but Ji-soo is every inch her intellectual equal - just in different ways. She doesn’t seem to be the type to be easily impressed, but you can tell that she’s definitely impressed by Ji-soo’s operation and how thoroughly set up it is. When Ji-soo is frustrated at the beginning by his setbacks, he blows up at another student (knocks him out in a crazy punch) and immediately walks over to Gyu-ri afterwards (who saw the whole thing) to inform her that she is now his partner in crime.

The look in her eyes, and the small smirk she has speaks volumes about her attraction to him in that scene. Smoldering.

And, oh yes, she’s prone to jealousy. Another classmate, Min-hee, gives Ji-soo a present out of the blue (it was supposed to be for her boyfriend, Ki-tae, but that’s another sub-plot) - all within view of Gyu-ri. It’s hilarious how she tries to brush it off. Later, for plot reasons, Ji-soo has to spend more time with Min-hee which only furthers Gyu-ri’s annoyance.

And her motivations stop being entirely about the money and more towards helping preserve the dream that she and Ji-soo share about being free. There’s a scene in episode 8 where it’s revealed that, due to a business partnership with a local gang (set up by none other than Gyu-ri herself in a desperate move), Ji-soo would have to drop out of school permanently to work on their behalf. Gyu-ri overhears this and, despite badly needing the gang’s help in sustaining their own business, immediately terminates the partnership.

All because it would interfere with Ji-soo’s dream.

Man, if that isn’t love.

In the following episode, Gyu-ri, and later on Ji-soo, is kidnapped by the same gang in retaliation for terminating their partnership. Ji-soo comes to her rescue but Gyu-ri is already almost free (again, she’s really, really badass) and is demanding that they bring Ji-soo to her instead of running for her life.

Surviving this latest attempt puts the two in a reflective, vulnerable mood and Gyu-ri asks Ji-soo why he keeps saving her. Ji-soo asks later on why she keeps risking her life to be with him. They don’t say the answer in words but in an almost kiss (yeah, you read that right - almost).

And then, if you aren’t already convinced, Ji-soo crosses his one last remaining line in an effort to keep Gyu-ri safe; he accidentally pushes a fellow classmate down some steps and, instead of helping her, leaves her to die after grabbing the evidence she has on him and Gyu-ri.

Extracurricular pulls off quite the magic trick here, hiding this well done love story in the middle of a serious crime drama.

The real tragedy is that Ji-soo thinks that Gyu-ri views this whole business, and by extension his life, as one big game. It’s something that she takes offense at, visibly becoming upset when he says that.

But even if that were true, he should be assured since Gyu-ri doesn’t like to lose.

As they hurtle towards the end and face up to the consequences of their actions, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri undoubtedly lose sight of their original goals and dreams. They do some fairly horrible things to stay alive and ahead of the police who are close on their trail. You can’t really blame them for doing what they did; in the face of a society that has abandoned them, what they’re doing is a logical outcome to gain what they want so desperately and deserve so much: the chance to be free to live like normal, care-free people.

I can’t say for certain that they achieve that. The drama is serious in consequences and, at the end, the net around them is drawing tighter and tighter. I won’t spoil the ending scene for you, because I highly encourage you watch this drama yourself but I will say this: Ji-soo and Gyu-ri seem stuck in an impossible situation with nowhere to go, and no one to help them, with a clock ticking down towards either death or discovery by the police.

But, all the same, I’m always the optimist. They’ve gotten through situations like this before and they can certainly do so again. Maybe not as bad as this one, but not too far out of their league. And, like I mentioned before, Gyu-ri doesn’t like to lose. Especially when it comes to Ji-soo.

Their relationship is truly dangerous, as Ji-soo himself notes. Them being together is the source of their problems; they’re too much alike now, as opposed to the beginning of the drama where he stated that they’re too different. Their love is the kind of love where both of them are willing to burn the whole world down if it means keeping each other safe.

I’m a real sucker for those kind of love stories. No one’s a hero here. They’re just kids in high school, doing the best with what they know.

Who are we to judge what is right and wrong? Especially when the one committing the acts are high school kids who don’t know any better and just want to save each other?

Do we have that right?

Do they really deserve that punishment? Shouldn’t we be pointing fingers at the society that forced them to act this way?

Extracurricular really makes you think about that. Is it really so outlandish and terrible what Ji-soo and Gyu-ri do to survive when the adults who are supposed to be protecting them, teaching them better, have failed in their duty?

Maybe they really did win at the end. Not so much in succeeding in their goals but in gaining something that not even regular people are likely to find - a partner, a soulmate, someone who will stand by you no matter what.

If you do watch the ending, and are not an optimist like I am, then all I can say is this: whatever happened, they were together at the end.

They were together.

#extracurricular netflix #human class #netflix #kdrama #oh jisoo #bae gyuri #park joo hyun #park ju hyun #kim dong hee

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