#jung yoonoh au | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taelme · 2 years

Text

enchanted

genre: regency!au (with some tweaks ofc), (not so)enemies-to-lovers!au, viscount!Jaehyun (kind of slowburn, hurt/comfort elements?, angst? mutual pining, reader is an oldest daughter guys) pairing/s: Jaehyun / Reader (ft Yuta, Johnny & other ocs)

word count: 23k+ (guys. be fr its me we’re talking abt here) tw: reader and jh both have a tense rs w their parents? brief mentions of a parent’s death (not reader/jh’s), reader doesn’t exactly look after herself very well, lmk if I missed out on anything! summary: in a world where marriage is nothing more than an economic proposition, and where a person is no more than what they can offer, you and Jaehyun rediscover what it means to be with each other, in the very essence of the word

a/n: this is really funny cause... so far the fics i have for my ‘tswift for the neos’ discourse are all johnjae.... life is like that, i guess. anyway. 3rd installment! this was a LONG time coming and i rly hope u guys enjoy it! took me a while to get back into the rhythm of writing so thank u all for bearing w my radio silence HAHHA this is based off of enchanted and gold rush (and any other easter eggs you find hehe- i’d love to hear if it reminds u of other tswift songs), reblogs are VERY appreciated!! happy reading loveys~ read this on ao3

You ached for rest. Not the kind that sleep guaranteed, no. This rest you ached for felt much deeper, much further from reach. Much like a stranger you wished to know.

“Do you remember what we discussed?”

Each inhale of yours didn’t seem to satisfy the ache in your chest, feeling as though your ribs were caving in, unsure if it was anxiety or the carriage or your clothing that was making you taste your last meal, and even that seemed like it was ages ago.

“Your posture,” the whisper of your mother brought some of your awareness back to the question she’d asked.

What did you discuss?

You tried to dismiss the impending feeling of doom that grew stronger as you noticed your surroundings, the carriage all of a sudden seeming to be moving too quickly, your grip on your gloves tightening as you tried to recall what your mother was trying to remind you of.

Right.

Be obedient. The carriage rounded the corner, jolting you from the familiar bump in the road. Don’t immediately launch into literary discourses out of panic. Your mother took your gloves out of your weak grip, slipping them onto your hands with an assertiveness that shoved you further into your seat, resisting the urge to shiver at the feeling of her cold hands on your skin. Have good manners. You could now recognise the music echoing from the building, a piece you were sure you’d heard your sister play before. Mind your facial expression. Along with the sound of music, the chatter and giggles intensified. Don’t scribble funny names onto your dance card. You thought about your little sister at home, probably sitting by the window reading a book from your father’s library as she waited for you to return home. You thought about your father who was in his study doing God knows what. As if like a trigger, a wave of clarity washed over you; you’d suddenly felt unfortunately sober.

Find a marriage partner.

“There will be many eligible suitors present. After all, it’s the first ball of the season,” she spoke, more for herself than for you.

You were treating this like a game of sorts, anything to make the process feel more distant from you. You needed to go in, find someone who had status, money and could offer protection to your family, and play your part to see it through for the rest of your life. Sure, it could be seen as a game. A very long, tedious game.

“Right,” you swallowed, still feeling as though you could hurl at any given moment, though your mother would’ve never sensed your inner turmoil. You’d become somewhat of an expert at masking it. Perhaps it was all the times you heard your parents telling you to ‘use your words’; you’d become all-too-familiar with manipulating them as you pleased.

The carriage came to an abrupt halt, your mother already preparing to alight as you followed behind her. Taking in a deep breath of (rather fresh smelling) air, you wondered momentarily if that was all you needed, feeling much better than you did in the carriage as you followed your mother up to the entrance of the ball.

You’d barely paid attention to your name and your mother’s being announced to the room upon your entrance, hyper aware of the attendees and trying your best to suppress your discomfort, hoping you could somehow mentally dissuade them from approaching you for a dance, though you knew you would never let yourself allow that. You had more pressing issues at hand.

Your relief from the fresh air was short lived. A stocky middle aged man who, according to your mother, owned an extravagant amount of land and had just gotten out of his second marriage, actively looking for a third.

Masking your discomfort, once again, you’d complied when the man had asked for a dance (though it wasn’t like you had a choice, your dance card bare as ever). Though you didn’t remember what you talked about as you danced, you were too focused on counting your steps to distract from his lack of teeth and the damp warmth that sank into your clothes where his hand was placed.

“Do you do much sewing?”

“A fair amount,” you grunted, feeling out of breath from supporting his weight with how much he was leaning into you while dancing. Sewing surely didn’t give you enough strength for this.

“That is good. It would help to dedicate yourself to such productive activities. You could contribute much more to the household with that, compared to all the folly of reading or academic learning. Unnecessary, in my opinion, when I am more than sufficiently equipped in that area.”

You couldn’t help your blank stare, hoping your tired sigh wasn’t obvious as you nodded with a hum.

“Is that so?”

The man let out a grunt, seeming to think you were speaking sarcastically, “A woman like you should use your beauty to your advantage. It is your crowning glory.”

You forced out a smile, telling yourself to take his words as flattery even though you were desperate for this dance to end.

The truth of the matter was this: you were made to do all sorts of things at the start of your day, things that were considered ‘productive’ and would aid in attracting a husband. Needlework, dancing, singing, drawing… but when the afternoon came around you were free to do your other ‘less productive’ activities.

You chose reading, naps and the occasional letter writing. These pastimes were the only form of rest you were accustomed to, though you would always end up somewhat unsatisfied, feeling as though these forms of resting didn’t satisfy the desire for rest. Perhaps it was like a writer trying to find the right word for a situation and ending up settling for one with the most similarity—it still wasn’t the right word, but there was always a thought that perhaps you were looking for one with an entirely different meaning.

Sewing? You found it all too troublesome and required all the patience that you didn’t have, leaving it for those few hours in the morning that were dedicated to building up your ‘accomplishments’. But were you proficient at it? To answer simply, you were proficient to the extent that you felt it was necessary to attract a marriage partner.

Your promise to your mother not to write random names on your dance card was growing less and less serious with each forced smile you let out to acknowledge the man’s strong beliefs.

It was by your (you weren’t sure, actually, it seemed as though you’d danced more this night than in your entire lifetime) dance that you were starting to feel lightheaded, stepping aside to find your mother for a drink. It was as your dance partner led you back to your mother that your eyes couldn’t seem to help themselves, constantly glancing at the dance card hanging from your wrist, the empty spaces and the little pencil dangling from it simply calling out to you to put them to good use.

You only had about four spaces left on your card— thank goodness for that, you didn’t think you’d be able to last any longer. Your fingers fiddled with the little pencil as you walked, careful to keep your fidgeting out of sight, overhearing giggles and murmurs about a certain viscount that was rumoured to be attending tonight’s ball.

Viscount Jung? You almost scoffed at the way they seemed as if they were talking about the Queen. Whoever he was, it was absolutely tempting you, the offer of his name that was as easily tossed around as it could be written down on your silly card.

“He’s gorgeous , you’ll have to take my word for it. Beautiful features and physique. I saw him once when he came to my estate for a meeting with my husband. He’s an architect, and a very skilled one at that.”

You purse your lips, already concocting various images in your head of what he looked like. Tall? Amicable? Perhaps he had a nice smile, you always found that to be rather charming. Perhaps his movements were slow yet precise, his moves carrying the same kind of regal elegance of the buildings he designed.

“Well, I would think he has potential marriage partners lining up for him if that’s the case, hmm?” you heard, almost nodding in agreement.

As you scanned the room, you pursed your lips at the mental image you got of how any of these girls would behave if the tall, handsome architect you pictured in your brain were to show any attempt of courting them. Maybe not even to the extent of courting… perhaps just a passing glance, a brush of his hand against yours, to feel his imposing presence just like a Midas touch as he walked past.

You let yourself wonder, just for a moment, if he would ask to be introduced to you, if you would find his personality charming while you danced, if he would take a liking to you and engage in more than just superficial conversation on your accomplishments, how you would feel to be at the receiving end of attention that was not unwanted for once.

Though it was short lived, your mind had taken the liberty of playing the rest of the sequence of events—your mother’s meddling, heightened tension between you and her because of said meddling—you cut the daydream-turned-nightmare off before you made yourself bitter for no good reason.

You were already getting too invested in this conversation, the image and elaborate backstory you’d created for him in your head. But it wasn’t exactly your fault, there was hardly any real entertainment to be found here. You held your dance card open as much as you could without going noticed, beginning to write the usual names you fell-back on when you grew tired of dancing.

“It’s near impossible to catch his attention, though,” you tuned-in to the conversation between the two mothers from before, “he wouldn’t even spare a glance at anything other than his sketches when he was visiting my home. I’d assume one would have to be nothing short of perfect to even get noticed by someone of his calibre. I can’t imagine he would settle for anything less.”

“Do you think he's coming tonight?”

“I heard he responded with his attendance, but Lord, have mercy on our daughters… I doubt he’d even cast a passing sigh their way,” you heard one of the chaperones sigh, shaking her head.

“What’s his name again?”

You tapped your pencil against the inside of your fingers absently, frustrated at the way your mind was blanking as you tried to recall another name you could use to fill the last empty space in your dance card.

“Viscount Jung Jaehyun.”

You hummed. Jung Jaehyun . You figured it was a safe bet, it wasn’t as if he’d actually ask you to dance.

You worked quickly in scribbling his name, along with many others you usually fell back on, onto the paper. The feeling of pencil against paper had never been as satisfying as it did now as your feet ached, clothes felt uncomfortable against your skin and throat feeling dry as sand.

Unfortunately for you, that victory didn’t seem to last very long.

“My dear, where have you been? I’ve been looking for you,” your mother cooed once you’d reached her, her tone making you feel as though you’d just been cued to say your next line.

You shot her a look, putting on a friendly smile as you greeted the people she was with, a few women you definitely did not recognise and a man with a very charming smile, clothes and jewellery that looked like he definitely lived… comfortably .

You were introduced to this man, addressed as Mr Nakamoto, a young-looking man who was supposedly from a reputable family from overseas, back from his travels around Europe. All of which was unimportant to your mother, of course, who simply hinted that he had money and was looking for a wife, the only things she claimed you should be caring about.

Perhaps that was true. Contrary to how it seemed, you were a lot more targeted in your search for a marriage partner. If you sifted through your mental list of men you’d danced with thus far into the night, your best potential marriage partner was either Mr Nakamoto (from what you were hearing), or the widower Baron who told you your silence was pleasing to him.

“Would you do me the honour of a dance?” He smiled, already extending a hand to reach for your dance card. In your panic, you withdrew your hand just slightly, only having it snatched away again by your mother, whose eyes zeroed in on the newly-added names.

You didn’t have time to react before the woman standing next to her had peered over as well, practically exclaiming with delight, “Oh! The viscount has asked you to dance? How fortunate! You must not dawdle, then.”

Your eyes widened, about to protest with some reason you hadn’t quite thought up yet, using that split second to contemplate the repercussions and how willing you were to deal with them if you were to confess that it was a fake name. That is, until your gaze landed on the man currently being led (or pushed) towards you.

Barely being able to protest before the both of you had been abandoned on the dance floor, the man looking nothing but irritable as he glared at you. You were assuming this was the man who was the centre of all the hushed giggles and gossip of tonight.

The image you had in your head of the mysterious Viscount Jung was almost instantly shattered and made new again, as if the previous image had never existed and this was the only one that could ever exist. How, for some reason, it made sense .

“This would all make sense if you let me explain,” you blurted out, seeing him quirk an eyebrow at you. Even his eyebrows were pretty.

He let out a huff at your expression, wondering how you could still seem so unremorseful after causing him such inconvenience . The last thing Jaehyun wanted here was for people to assume he was actually interested in somebody.

“You owe me an explanation, regardless,” the man’s voice had shocked you.

Deep and smooth, capable of lulling you into a trance if you weren’t already so on edge, even if his tone was curt and dripping with annoyance, “You’ve somehow managed to get the whole room staring at us.”

He let his gaze flicker briefly over the necklace you were wearing, back to your mother who was standing at the side looking on with evident disdain. Delicate looking Amethysts decorating your neck made Jaehyun wonder where you’d gotten them from. He only recalled Rubies to be quite popular among the girls in the other towns, according to his closest friend Johnny.

As if reminded of where you were, you tried to ignore the stares as you reached a hand up to his shoulder, swallowing the gasp that almost escaped at the feeling of his hand going to your back, tensing up visibly as your brain processed the music playing.

He let out a sigh as the both of you began to dance. It would’ve been an amusing sight if you were someone else looking on, both of you clearly not wishing to dance yet being whisked along to the upbeat tempo of the music, executing the dizzying choreography with what could only be described as trained movements.

A hint of a smile graced his features, though it definitely wasn’t directed at you.

“Anytime before my death, please,” he spoke, seeming to find his little joke amusing from the little huff of laughter he struggled to contain.

You scoffed, for some reason not feeling as inclined to offer him the same grace you would your other dance partners. Rolling your shoulders back, you kept your stare steady and refused to look down, lest he think he succeeded in making you feel small.

“That’s not a lot of time,” you quipped back, “Besides, your sour attitude is what will earn you an early death, if anything,” you muttered, audible enough for him to hear.

“Yours isn’t any better, in case you haven’t realised,” he huffed, eyebrows furrowing slightly in disdain.

“You don’t know me,” you huffed.

“And neither do you,” he was quick to reply, earning a sigh from you.

“Look, I wouldn’t be dancing with you if I had a choice,” you scoffed, figuring he was at least mildly offended from the way his eyes seemed to widen just momentarily.

“Oh, but you had a choice in writing my name on your dance card, didn’t you?” He bit back with a sarcastic smile, making you suck in a breath. That was definitely caused by your annoyance, not the dimples on his cheeks that you noticed with his smile.

“Just so we’re clear, I wouldn’t be dancing with someone as ill-mannered and arrogant as you either. Or dancing at all, for that matter. You’ve somehow seemed to spoil both of those outcomes,” he drawled, a wistful sigh that he masked with a soft smile.

Almost like a child, you’d wanted to mutter something about how you weren’t ill-mannered, but you figured what you’d shown him thus far wouldn’t exactly help your case in proving that.

You could hear girls swooning as you passed them.

“And you had the choice to show up to the ball, did you not? What did you think was going to happen here if not dancing? Did you think we’d have a canvas laid out for you to do some drawing?”

You struggled to maintain your gently pleased expression, finding your words to be quite amusing. Judging from the genuine huff of laughter you’d let out, to anyone else you two would’ve seemed to be really hitting it off.

“We could spend the entire night airing out our… grievances ,” he sighed, “but you still haven’t explained how we have ended up like this.”

You closed your eyes just briefly enough to roll them, opening them to see his jaw clenched as he glared at you.

The sigh he breathed out in annoyance succeeded in drawing your attention to your proximity. Only then noticing how differently you felt dancing with him than you did with your previous dance partners who felt as though they would collapse on you at any given moment. Somehow, the viscount felt steadier, making you unconsciously lean into him as you danced. Almost like your body recognised its ability to be dependent in this moment, no matter how minuscule the moment was. Like muscle memory.

Lifting your gaze up to his face, you tried not to let it linger for too long on his lips, their colour reminding you of a rose and hinted at the softness of a rose petal. Feeling the tap of his fingers against your back was what nudged your gaze to his eyes, understanding a little better why the gossip about him usually involved the word ‘beautiful’.

“I might be able to die and resurrect before you start explaining—”

“If I must explain,” you cut him off, earning a huff from him, “I usually write fake names on my dance card because eighteen dances are simply eighteen-too-many bouts of dancing with strange old men. Your name just happened to grace my ears when I was doing so.”

Jaehyun huffed, “And what did you think was going to happen here if not dancing?” He repeated your words back to you with an all-too-smug tone.

You let out a deep sigh, funnily enough, almost stumbling but feeling his hand on your back keep you standing upright.

He did have a point (as annoying as his execution was) but you weren’t going to admit it, of course. It was much more than just ‘dancing’. What happened in these balls could very well determine the future of yourself, your family and your unborn children, as you’ve been so generously reminded time and time again.

It was as if your mother was in your head, telepathically communicating these reminders to you whenever you were on the brink of letting yourself enjoy what you were doing. You had a responsibility to fulfil as the oldest daughter of your family. Him, however? To be able to waltz in here and expect to leave without dancing and know no one would bat an eye?

You huffed, fixing your gaze on the space between his eyebrows just so you could look as though you were deeply attentive.

“Must be nice not having to worry about your future,” you rolled your eyes.

That seemed to have struck a nerve with the Viscount, who frowned slightly at your words, an uncomfortable silence falling between the both of you.

“Was that the real reason you wrote my name down?” he finally spoke. His gaze seemed to truly hold offence now, feeling even more distant from him even though you were standing so close to him. The realisation that he truly was a stranger sinking in deeply, filling you with discomfort.

You didn’t seem to catch on to his implication at first, only realising after you’d recalled what you said to warrant such a reaction from him.

“I’m not after your money,” you told him plainly, seeing his frown grow deeper.

“You expect me to believe you?”

You glared at him, frowning slightly, his expression only mirroring yours.

“It seems I would be better off not expecting anything from you,” you huffed, “but you cannot expect anyone in this room not to be after you for your money. You’re surely smart enough to know that when you step into this room...”

You shook your head, each word seeming more for yourself than for the Viscount, a reminder that even now you were still meant to be playing your long, tedious game.

“... you are no longer viewed as yourself, only your eligibility, how well you’re able to act out your role. And if we were to go by that, I would be dancing with Mr Nakamoto there instead.”

The viscount followed the direction you had gestured in with your head, spotting the man standing next to your mother and chaperone.

“That’s Mr Nakamoto?” The viscount murmured, something almost akin to recognition in the man’s eyes as they met his own. The name seemed to ring a bell with him, though there was still a sense of unfamiliarity in his thoughtful expression. He didn’t think it was the kind of familiarity he would feel from a recent memory. Perhaps he would ask Johnny.

“Yes. Do you know him?”

There was no reply. A part of you was curious, wondering why his silence irked you so much.

At the viscount’s silence, you had only then realised the song was coming to an end. He let go of you as quickly as the song allowed, bowing out of courtesy and leading you to where your mother and Mr Nakamoto were, a certain discomfort in his expression that you could not seem to place, “By all means.”

And just as you said, he’d left the ball right after, no one batting an eye (but almost everyone running their mouths).

Still recovering from your exchange, you fixed your gloves, huffing at no one in particular, seeing Mr Nakamoto direct a rather amused smile towards you.

“Are you feeling alright? I hope dancing with the viscount wasn’t as dizzying as it looked.”

Your eyebrows raised, mustering a polite smile as you shook your head, determined to leave thoughts of the Viscount behind.

“Oh, no. Not at all. Yes, I’m perfectly fine.” Or you hoped to be in a while, at least.

Mr Nakamoto, you discovered over the rest of the evening, was nothing short of a perfect gentleman (going by your sister’s manuals). You struggled to find a flaw (and trust me, you were searching hard for it).

Beneath his extravagant clothes, confident demeanour, good dancing and how well-read he was about topics you could definitely see your father being eager to discuss over meals, you found that he was everything your mother was looking for. But other than the boxes he ticked off of her ‘Ideal son-in-law checklist’, there was nothing that compelled you to grow more acquainted with him. There wasn’t that… spark of attraction you would imagine was a non-negotiable aspect of the romance novels you read and plays you watched. The closest you’d gotten to feeling that tonight was in your sheer annoyance towards the viscount.

Unfortunately for you, there was much longer left for you to endure before you would be able to return home, but Mr Nakamoto’s company proved to be… sufficient.

Mr Nakamoto (whose first name you later heard from your mother was Yuta), kept you busy for the rest of the ball, occupied and mildly entertained with many stories about his travels (most of which you couldn’t differentiate between truth or lie). You would’ve even considered it a plus with how much he was talking, you were free to eat your supper in peace, undisturbed by other men due to Yuta’s riveting tales.

“I haven’t travelled much myself, but whatever you described does sound very lovely,” you would comment once in a while, feeling as though you were talking to the little children you would see at the market. You would smile, nod and coo at their stories without much care if they were reality or fiction. It was almost like an escape from reality, one you welcomed with open arms tonight.

“Do you have any siblings?” he asked suddenly, making you straighten up after a while of quietly enjoying your supper.

“Yes, a younger sister,” you murmured, “she’s not out yet, though.”

Yuta hummed over a mouthful of food, swallowing it with a wince before continuing, “Are you two close?”

You smiled, a small huff leaving you as you shrugged, “Well, yes, I suppose that is one way you could describe it.”

Yuta huffed, smiling as if recalling something (a story you assumed).

“Did I say something amusing?”

Yuta smiled, shaking his head, “No, it just reminded me of these siblings I met while I was in America…” setting off into yet another story about his travels.

Though you really didn’t mind, he was just giving you more stories to tell your sister once you got home.

You were at your wits end when it was time for the ball to be over, feeling as though you’d used up all your energy for the season from just dancing and listening to Yuta’s stories. You’d wanted nothing more than to simply curl into bed and sleep the rest of the week away.

Exchanging greetings as you parted ways, you tried hard to ignore the way your mother was looking at you as you returned to your carriage, head feeling heavy yet still feeling tension in your limbs, unable to fully relax with your mother in the carriage with you.

“He’s a very pleasant man,” she murmured, gaze trained outside the window as if she could see anything other than trees and empty road.

“Who?” you frowned.

“Who else? Mr Nakamoto.”

You let out a deep sigh, the breath you took in not satisfying the breathlessness you felt, nodding.

“He is,” your reply was curt, leaving no room for elaboration, though that didn’t seem to stop your mother.

“I heard from one of the ladies that he’s planning on staying here for a while. Planning to buy the estate near the park. You know, the one with the balcony that overlooks the lake. It’s an expensive property.”

You hummed.

You wanted to be interested, you really did. But the movement of the carriage was starting to make your head pound and you didn’t think you had any energy left in you to pretend to be bothered about whether Yuta’s potential estate overlooked anything .

Deeming your fatigue as a sort of defiance, your mother’s tongue clicked sharply as she shook her head at you.

“How can you be so… “ she scoffed, shaking her head, “need I remind you that you are doing this for the family? You need to start taking ownership of your responsibility in this whole affair.”

You sighed, shifting in your seat and directing your gaze towards her, “I know.”

Though you tried your best to remain respectful with your tone, your irritation got the better of you, “I am taking ownership. Am I not allowed to be tired after a whole night of dancing and socialising?”

“This is not just ‘ dancing and socialising ’. You need to realise the gravity of what just one dance could affect, for your family’s sake.”

Of course you knew that, but it wasn’t as if you could get her to see things from your perspective. She was your mother, and the last time she’d seen from any perspective other than that was before you were born.

You huffed, suppressing the many words you’d wished to have her hear, trying to remind yourself that words were unlikely to get you anywhere near an understanding with her. That would suffice for the night until you slept off your anger.

Nodding in hopes that it would appease her, you focused on your breathing, hoping it would somehow ease your headache that was coming on stronger than you’d wished. Unfortunately for you, you’ve come to learn that your mothers worries were only ever vented through such exchanges with you, though they weren't much of an exchange to begin with.

“Think of your father,” you couldn’t help the wave of discomfort that washed over you at the mention of him, as if you could feel his presence in the carriage at the mere mention of him, domineering and tense.

“He slaved away for his whole life to ensure his daughters could be viewed as respectable ladies in society. It is a privilege to even attend a ball like you just did. And yet you act as if we’re putting you through torture!”

Torture was one label for it; your long, tedious game.

“You are the oldest, you are to set an example for your sister. I do not wish for you to taint her innocence with your… your insolence .”

You nodded, almost wanting to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. With how much they fed her those manuals on what a respectable man and woman should be, how they kept her in the house as much as possible, allowed not even for her to paint because of how it would dirty her clothing, it was a wonder how they thought anything could possibly ‘ taint’ her at all.

Though at the same time, you would be lying if you said you didn’t wish to live as quiet and simple a life as she did, out of the loop of all the burdens and worries that seemed to follow your family for generations, growing more complex with each cycle it made.

“I know,” you stifled your sigh lest she use that as another example of your ‘insolence’, “I’m sorry,” you murmured, a foolproof way of appeasing her you’d come to learn after a lifetime of experience. Whether you meant it was an entirely separate matter.

Your words seemed to have their intended effect, allowing you to sit in the quiet tension of the carriage ride until you felt it come to a stop, hearing the rustling of the footman moving to open the carriage door, exiting with haste that only came with the feeling of a successful escape.

Your sister was quick to meet you in your bedroom as you reached your bedroom, timed with a precision you both knew came with too much time spent at home.

“I didn’t expect you to be awake,” you huffed, earning a shrug from her, a book you recognised to be from your father’s library in her hands, her finger tucked between the pages she stopped at.

“Couldn’t sleep,” she sighed, a dreamy look in her eyes that you supposed held all sorts of hope to hear stories of love and romance, “I suppose I was too excited for you.”

You sighed.

“I hope that was a good sigh,” she inched closer, dog-earing the page she was on and tossing it aside, the book thumping softly on your stool.

She shifted on your bed, making herself comfortable as you changed out of your clothes leaving just your nightgown, glancing at her through her reflection in your standing mirror.

“I hope it was too,” you huffed, allowing yourself to be amused at your own joke, even though you didn’t very well feel like making light of your horrible night.

“How was it? Did anybody catch your eye?”

Your thoughts ran first to the Viscount (and his rosy lips—this wasn’t your fault, really.) It upset you, how he of all people had left a lasting impression on you even though you’d spent hours and hours talking to Mr Nakamoto. It upset you how you just knew that even if you did tell others about his lousy manners or his condescending demeanour, no one would have wanted to believe you, everyone already believed he was what they wanted him to be; a gentleman straight out of one of your sister’s manuals.

“There were… some , I suppose,” you spoke as vaguely as you could, hoping that would be enough to satisfy her (even though you knew it wouldn’t).

“Handsome?” The lilt in her tone was awfully hopeful.

You sighed, turning to her with a knowing look, “Handsomely rich .”

Her mouth fell open, features pulling into a frown, “You know for a fact I didn’t mean money. Were they charming? Attractive?”

“I suppose one of them was… not ugly,” you felt embarrassed saying it, for some reason, as if you could anticipate the viscount’s reaction if he’d heard your words. The way the corner of his lips would curl up in a smirk, tilting his chin up at you with all the arrogance and cockiness in his being.

For some reason, you were afraid to voice out your thoughts on him. Perhaps it was the fault of the little nagging voice that persisted in your head, telling you that it truly didn’t matter if you thought he was physically attractive, because you didn’t stand a chance to begin with. Voicing it out almost seemed like a jinx, a nail in the coffin that forced you to face this reality instead of living in the hope that he could have harboured good feelings towards you too; simply for the pleasure that came with being perceived by someone like him.

You figured now wasn’t the time for you to start getting comfortable with hoping.

Turning to your sister with a shrug, you spoke, “But he had the worst demeanour.”

“I heard a Viscount asked you to dance. It couldn’t have been him, could it?”

Perhaps it was those very manuals that led her to this assumption.

Though it was for her own good, you found yourself not wanting to burst her bubble. She needed to know that it wasn’t about whether they were a Viscount or not, but that the men she would encounter in the marriage market in general weren’t as fairytale-like as they were written out to be. The likelihood of marrying someone you found even mildly attractive was rare. Yet the hope she held was important, precious almost.

Although the growing desire to find a love match was gaining popularity these days, you didn’t consider yourself to have that luxury. It seemed all too indulgent, saved for people who could afford to worry about things like love. Not a lady like you, the eldest daughter of her family carrying her parents’ burden on her weary shoulders.

“Do you think all viscounts are handsome and kind?” you laughed, beginning to undo your hair.

“Don’t know. Never met one before,” she sighed, “which is precisely why I’m asking you. ”

You hummed, “Well, the other man I spent most of the night with wasn’t exactly better. He spent most of the time talking about himself, but I suppose it was good entertainment.”

“So he wasn’t the handsome one?”

“The viscount?” you frowned.

Your sister’s eyes lit up, her smile growing, “So, you think the viscount’s handsome?”

Realising your mistake, you narrowed your eyes at her, “I think it’s best you forget about him.”

Somehow, the words left a bitter taste on your tongue, your sister’s expression of confusion making you feel almost frustrated, “I’m only saying this because I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of him after tonight.”

You made your way over to your bed, getting into bed and shifting to find a comfortable position, your sister still sitting next to you and looking at you with that same thoughtful expression.

“Are you that upset about it?” you huffed, trying to read into her emotions, “It’s nothing to worry about, really. Mother seems to have found a man that’s to her liking, you know, finances, property, intelligence and manners all included.”

She shook her head, mustering a small smile, “No, It’s not that. I was just wondering… how difficult it’s probably going to be for me to find a husband.”

You frowned.

“You have loads of accomplishments. You’re going to be fine,” you assured her, choosing gentle words that paved a way for a peaceful conclusion as always, though your words seemed to have weighed heavier on her, a small sigh leaving her as she toyed with your bedsheet under her hand. You would be lying if you said it didn’t spark some sort of competitive urge to prove that you could find better words to dissipate her worry.

She sighed, briefly glancing at you before looking away, mumbling in a way that was almost reluctant to be heard, “Love is important too, you know.”

You fell silent at her words, the ache in you growing obvious again. That ache for the kind of rest that went beyond physical things. One that seemed natural for you to forego, for everyone’s sake but yours.

You nodded, swallowing the dryness in your throat. You sifted through your archive of neutral, concluding words, words that you didn’t necessarily believe for yourself, but words that would suffice for now.

“I’m sure it will find you,” you murmured.

There was nothing but silence in the room afterwards. feeling yourself starting to get drowsy as your sister got up, walking over to your bedside stool to retrieve her book.

“What’s his name?” she murmured.

At your silence, she continued, “you know, maybe I can keep my ears open for any gossip when I go to the flower market,” she insisted, eager to have a little bit of adventure in her otherwise mundane days, clearly.

You thought about it just for a moment, wondering if your pride overpowered your curiosity on what kind of gossip she would hear. You figured that in this moment, you couldn’t deny your curiosity.

“Jung Jaehyun.”

Only after she left, you realised she hadn’t specified who she was referring to.

===

The ache did not disappear when you woke up near the afternoon, as much as you wished it did. Frankly, you didn’t manage to get much sleep at all, the sound of your door bursting open being what jolted you awake.

No words were exchanged, simply your mother rummaging through your drawers she used for storage for something she couldn’t seem to find, returning empty-handed to wherever she came from.

Figuring you could have something to eat before returning to bed, you got dressed, heading to the dining room. You saw your sister and your mother there eating breakfast, the staff clearing what you assumed to be your father’s used plates and utensils. It was almost strange how you felt yourself relax at the knowledge of not having to sit through a meal with him.

“Good morning,” your sister’s grin was on full display as you sat next to her, “there’s a surprise for you in the drawing room.”

“Surprise?” you frowned, taking a bite of your food even though you weren’t all that hungry, knowing it would set your mother off if you weren’t eating.

As if it were orchestrated by some divine power, you heard the low vibrations of what could only be a man’s voice in your otherwise female-occupied household.

Men, as in, plural?

You stared at the doorway of the dining room, a strange feeling in your gut as you heard the voices grow louder, your sister seeming to catch on as she grabbed your hand, forcing you to abandon your breakfast as she led you to the drawing room.

“A fresh one,” she smiled, her clues not giving you any idea of what awaited you in the drawing room.

“Living and breathing?” You weren’t sure why you were breathless, but you became sure when you saw the man standing next to your father, whose gaze had met yours with a certain finality and hadn’t bothered tearing itself away.

Living and breathing, right in front of your eyes.

“Roses!” your sister chipped in, “pink ones. And white clovers too.”

Viscount Jung Jaehyun, standing just a few paces away from you and your sister in your drawing room as your father talked his ear off about the renovations he wanted to make to the estate.

It irked you how your thoughts had almost instantly shifted to the rosy lips of the viscount, allowing yourself to wonder just for a moment if the flowers were from him. It gave you whiplash to think of him gifting you such romantic flowers after the exchange you both shared just hours before.

Perhaps they were meant as some sort of an apology? Perhaps the viscount had dug deep within himself to find that his behaviour was far from pleasant. Yes , if that was the case, maybe you were right to think he wasn’t as horrible as he seemed, maybe the viscount had some decency in him after all.

“The name on the card didn’t sound familiar, but I figured you would know once you see it!”

That seemed to have caught Jaehyun’s attention (as much as he tried to hide it), though he masked his curiosity well as he pretended to be fascinated with the interior of your drawing room.

Rolling your shoulders back, you fixed your posture, reaching a hand out to the little card that was perched delicately in the midst of the flowers, a simple handwritten card that read:

- To thank you for the pleasure of your company - Nakamoto Yuta

“Are they from the viscount?” your sister asked loudly, earning a sharp nudge from you that sent her stumbling, your gaze darting to the viscount and missing the smirk that had graced his lips.

You shook your head, murmuring, “The other man.”

Your sister wasn’t doing a very good job in saving your face in front of the viscount, making no move to hide her dismay as her lips parted with a sigh of disappointment, “The boring one?”

Grabbing her hand quickly, you led her back to the dining room, making sure your voice was more than audible as you walked past the viscount.

“The only man from the evening who was worth remembering,” you commented, suppressing your satisfaction when you heard the viscount clear his throat, suggesting to move to your father’s office for a more conducive discussion.

Just as you’d settled back into your seat at the dining table, feeling more of an appetite to eat now after your little success in irking the viscount, your mother spoke from where she stood by the doorway, glancing out of the window briefly as she fixed her gloves.

“Get dressed, we should be ready to entertain callers soon.”

“Callers?” you couldn’t help but frown, hearing your sister grunt from where she was beside you.

“I’ve invited Mr Nakamoto for some tea, perhaps the two of you could go for a stroll in the late afternoon.” You inhaled deeply, something about the proposal not seeming to entice you as much as your curiosity as to what was going on in your father’s office with the viscount. It was a shame even boring estate talk could seem more appealing to you than conversation and a stroll with an attractive, eligible suitor.

“Well that’s my cue to leave, then. Wouldn’t want to be caught in the crossfire of mindless talk,” amusement left your sister in hushed giggles, her chair screeching against the wooden floor loudly as she got up, making you cringe at the sound she was otherwise unaffected by.

Your mother hadn’t bothered acknowledging her departure, though you heard your sister’s footsteps bounding up the stairs, the sound of her bidding your father goodbye before the same thumping down the stairs echoed till the front door was shut.

You sighed, looking out of the window at the cloud cover that kept the sun from gracing anything beneath it, choosing once again to push your feelings behind you for the sake of your mother who wanted to ensure security for your future. For the sake of your father who longed to retire. For the sake of your sister who was still trusting that there was love and hope in her world.

You would receive Mr Nakamoto and you would do so gracefully. Another step towards the end goal in your long, tedious game.

===

The afternoon went perfectly. A little too perfectly, if you were being honest.

It was almost frustrating, how there was barely anything to complain about when it came to Yuta. He was on his best behaviour today, even managing to start and sustain a very well-developed conversation with your father when he had come down with the viscount briefly while they made their way to the other part of your estate.

And there you sat, like a jilted lover during the whole exchange, frustrated at the fact that Yuta had somehow managed to have everybody smitten for him, except yourself. A little nagging in your gut had tried to convince you that perhaps that was how Yuta wanted to go about this; winning over your family so he wouldn’t have to try so hard to win you over, as if this was his strategy in his own long, tedious game.

Even as you went out to promenade by the lake, you struggled to be present to the man next to you.

“Did you like the flowers?” he asked, earning a blank stare from you till you managed to register his question.

“Oh, yes I did. They’re lovely flowers.”

“Do you happen to have a liking for them? I saw many arrangements in your house when your mother was showing me around.”

You shook your head, the sudden recollection of your sister’s words about mindless small talk coming to mind as you dismissed them with a huff, “Not particularly. I mean, I do like them, but I wouldn’t go as far as making arrangements and whatnot. That is more of my sister’s hobby.”

Yuta hummed, “Do you have a favourite?”

Glancing up at Yuta, the way his smile was relaxed, his attention seemed to be solely focused on you. Something about it threw you off guard, wondering why he’d taken a liking to you when you were sure his smile and his charm would have any girl in your neighbourhood begging for his attention (perhaps just not yourself included).

“Lilacs.”

Yuta’s smile grew, looking somewhat pleased with your answer.

“Is first love something you hold dear to yourself?”

You let out a huff at that, impressed that he was familiar with the language of flowers, the thought of his pink roses from the morning making you feel somewhat uncomfortable at his pursuit.

You shook your head, “I’ve never actually… experienced it before.”

Yuta’s next words had stilled your fingers over your umbrella, wondering if he’d taken the words straight out of one of the romance novels in your bookshelf.

“I’d like to think it feels like this,” he sighed, a serene expression on his face as you walked together, “being able to share this with you.”

You were holding your breath, you were sure of it. But why wasn’t this feeling as heart-fluttering as you were expecting? Sure, his words were nice to hear, but was it because you were too distracted at the moment?

Now, you were frustrated. It wasn’t as if you could go back in time to ask him to repeat himself in the hope that you would feel something. Perhaps you were just tired, you told yourself (even if you knew that really wasn’t the reason behind your apathy).

“Shall we head back?”

Even as you were walking back, Yuta didn’t seem to let up as easily. His demeanour was vastly different from how it was at the ball. This time, he was asking you more questions about yourself, as if he were specifically orchestrating dialogue sequences that would allow him to insert romantic one-liners like the one before. Though they were flowery, and by the nature of the word you figured flowery would mean they were pleasant, but you were at a loss with the way they left you feeling well… not exactly pleased . You were hearing him, definitely, but you were stuck feeling like he wasn’t really hearing you.

As you were walking back, you reached your house just as the viscount’s carriage was leaving, tensing up as you saw your father standing next to the little flower garden behind the gates of your house as he saw the viscount off.

You avoided his gaze, hoping you would be able to walk past him without being stopped, but it seemed that wasn’t the case with how Yuta greeted your father with much more enthusiasm than you’d seen him bear all day.

You’d taken that as your queue to enter the house first, the sound of the piano echoing from the walls indicating your sister was home and that made you all the more eager to be in the company of someone you actually wanted to see today. Your father and Yuta followed behind you, not seeming to be affected by your absence as you drew closer to your sister, finally feeling as though you could relax slightly more in her presence.

“How was it?” she whispered, glancing not-so-subtly at Yuta, earning a small mustered smile from yourself.

“He was lovely,” you told her, (which in fact, wasn’t a lie).

She grinned.

“He’s handsome too, I must say. But even so, he can’t be compared to the man father was talking to this morning. They each have a different… air,” her shoulders lifted as she spoke, arms moving in the way your old piano tutor called ‘with emotion’ as she played, “you know, in the way they carry themselves.”

You let out a deep sigh, nodding slowly, “You do know that man is the viscount I mentioned the night before, don’t you?”

Her playing faltered abruptly (though your father and Yuta were too distracted to notice), slowly picking up where she’d left off, “ The viscount? The one named Jung Jaehyun? He was the man father was talking to?”

Her amazement was obvious, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t understand why she was so shocked.

You nodded, “The ill-mannered one.”

She frowned, “That’s unfortunate, then. He really did live up to what the townspeople were saying about him. Beauty and grace and elegance… a man that looks like everything he touches turns to gold.”

You rolled your eyes, amusement hinted in your smile, “Not everything gold is worth wanting.”

“Would you say Mr Nakamoto is the exception, then? More worth wanting than the Midas-touch-viscount himself?” She scoffed.

You didn’t have an answer for that, maybe because you weren’t convinced of the one you were going to offer her.

“We’ll see. He just might have to be.”

She giggled, seemingly satisfied with your answer as she resumed playing the piano, the lilting melody carrying you elsewhere for the moment until Yuta was done with the conversation he was having with your father, bidding you goodbye as he left.

As your father made his way over to you, you forced yourself to meet his gaze, resisting the urge to look away and fidget in your discomfort. “I’m going to be away in the afternoons for business over the next few days, so you’ll be handling the meetings with the viscount on the estate. I trust that you’re already well versed on what needs to be taken care of.”

“Will mother be joining—”

“What good will that do?” he huffed, “Do not waste your time with these silly questions. There is no need to get her or your sister involved and cause them unnecessary stress. You are capable enough of handling it on your own.”

You sighed, watching him leave in the direction of his office, leaving you to slump onto the sofa next to where your sister was, curling into a comfortable position for a nap as the gentle melody worked on lulling you to a place where your worries were far away and rest seemed within reach.

===

If Jaehyun was surprised to see you the next day, he didn’t show it, simply glancing at you as he entered the house, nodding his head as if he’d expected you to be there (even if he really didn’t).

“I trust my father has briefed you that I'll be handling the estate matters while he’s away?” you were first to break the silence, watching as one of his hands moved to touch the pads of his fingertips, looking somewhat preoccupied. Or perhaps, he was recalling his exchange with your father, looking at you curiously. Though that curiosity had left as soon as it came, replaced with a playful glint in his eyes.

“My apologies,” his tone was anything but remorseful, punctuated by the little smirk that was playing at his lips, “I figure you’d much rather be… well, handling Mr Nakamoto.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “D’you fancy yourself a comedian, my lord?”

Jaehyun had simply shrugged, showing some modesty in the small shake of his head.

“Good. Because you’d be a very poor one.”

You began to lead him to your father’s office, Jaehyun noticing the way your steps had slowed as you grew nearer to the door, the deep breath you’d taken in before your hands had met the doorknob, turning it and pushing only to be met with a smell that was unmistakably like your father.

Hints of a pipe smoked hours ago, the smell of his library books, ink on his desk, the musk and citrus and alcohol that blended together to form the imposing presence of your father even when he wasn’t here. Your posture had straightened and your steps became quiet and wary almost instinctively.

You stayed far from his desk, as you had always done, surprising Jaehyun with the way you’d simply taken the documents you needed and sat yourself on one of the chairs in the office, legs crossing uncomfortably as you gripped the papers in your hands.

Eyeing you carefully, Jaehyun made his way to the chair nearest to you, pulling out his own blueprints that he and your father had discussed the day before.

“Did my…” you began, throat feeling dry all of a sudden at the sight of the documents before you, “did my father tell you what I had to go over on his behalf?”

Jaehyun simply tilted his head at you.

“We’ve gone over it actually, he… just told me to ask you for the stamp and to clear the financial documents. He mentioned that you took care of the family’s accounts.”

You figured you shouldn’t have been surprised that your father didn’t actually want your opinion on his decisions. You’d just let yourself get carried away thinking he wanted to know what you thought about the things he made you responsible for.

“Oh, so my business here is simply for the seal, am I correct to say that—?”

“No, actually, I would appreciate it if I could go over these plans with you once before you approve them. It’s only sensible if—”

You shook your head firmly, Jaehyun stopping himself at your gesture, eyebrows furrowing as if the situation was upsetting to him.

“That won’t be necessary. I would rather not impose on his… plans,” you sighed, averting your gaze from his as you stood up, making your way over to your father’s desk for his seal.

“Impose?” he quirked an eyebrow, wondering why it was that you seemed to withdraw so easily when it came to your father, “You had no problem imposing on my plans at the ball.”

Rolling your eyes, you struggled to keep your hands steady as they sifted past the papers on your father’s desk.

“I would be sorry if your initial plans were any good to begin with,” you murmured distractedly.

It was strange, how you felt as if you were doing something you weren’t supposed to. As if you were secretly rummaging around in his desk while your heart was thrumming wildly at the thought of him walking in and catching you red-handed, feeling the disappointment that would meet you in his gaze, rendering you a little child again who had more familiarity with these belongings than she did her father.

“If you’re not sorry about that, you could be sorry about the fact that people seem to think I’m courting you now.”

You debated ignoring his statement, glancing at him only briefly as you arranged the papers in your hand.

Humming, it seemed your urge to cover up your nerves had shown up in snappy retorts aimed towards Jaehyun, strangely unfiltered with him even though you figured you should’ve been.

“Of course, because a man like you should be able to show up to a ball simply for the music and drink.”

Clenching and unclenching your fists, you went about the process as calmly as you could, Jaehyun’s watchful, curious eyes unnerving you even as you made the seal.

“Are you alright?” he spoke suddenly, earning a sharp inhale and a glare from you in return, your grip tightening around the seal. Whether it was because the question felt out of place, or whether it was the fact that he had caught on to your discomfort, you would rather not admit.

You shut your father’s desk drawer with a quiet click, habitual movements from many instances of sneaking in here as a child for writing materials.

“What does it matter to you?”

“No, just… does my presence here make you uncomfortable?” his eyebrows furrowed, what seemed like genuine curiosity taking over his features once again.

Trust you to be defensive, though.

A scoff left you, the thud of the beaten book that you used to keep track of your family’s accounts dropping against your father’s desk echoing through the room as if that were your form of exerting your dominance over the room and everything it represented.

“Has the thought only crossed your mind now? Besides, don’t flatter yourself,” you scoffed, “your presence doesn't have that much of an effect on me.”

That would’ve done it , you figured. You could imagine the way his lips would curl into a sarcastic smile, or how he would simply scoff and announce that it was about time for him to leave. Anything but what followed next.

“Maybe not mine, but your father’s seems to.”

Somehow, you almost wished your sister was here to defuse the tension in the room, or to crack a joke to save you from having to face such an observation. But she wasn’t, and the truth of the matter was that you were sitting here facing a stranger who seemed confident that they could read you like an open book.

And maybe, his confidence wasn’t completely unfounded.

A silence fell between the both of you, tense and ridden with an understanding both of you were aware of but neither were willing to put down their pride first to admit.

You scoffed, waving him off in dismissal as naturally as you could, “You’ve never seen us interact.”

“I don’t have to,” he huffed, speaking matter-of-factly, “you’ve been… tense ever since I suggested having our meeting in his office.”

“I just don’t like being in stuffy offices,” you shrugged again, pretending to be busy with your notebook.

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, confidence in his stare as he leaned back in his seat, crossing his legs, “ Or the person the stuffy office belongs to.”

Your sharp gaze met his almost instantly, letting out a small huff of air through your nose. You were at a loss of a witty retort, though somehow that didn’t feel as damning as you thought it would; the viscount didn’t seem to be attacking today in the same way he was before at the ball.

“It’s not a crime, you know,” he murmured, cutting you some slack from the way he averted his gaze to fiddle with his sleeve, “you’re not expected to be amiable with him all the time. At least not in my book.”

You attempted to swallow in the hopes that it would make the lump in your throat feel less suffocating, to no avail.

“Amiable,” you echoed, huffing at his choice of words. Even on good days, you don’t think you could use a word like that to describe your interactions with your father.

Jaehyun searched your expression, reading into your silence, shaking his head dismissively, “Sorry if I overstepped, I don’t usually have the habit of voicing out my observations so… carelessly.”

You didn’t believe him, strangely. Everything about what had just transpired between the both of you seemed anything but careless. Instead, it came with all the intentionality of trying to understand someone. Somehow, that knowledge made you less inclined to hold back in front of him.

When you finally felt like your voice wouldn’t give, you spoke, “Are you speaking from experience?”

His eyebrows raised in question, “My father?”

You nodded, earning a huff from him. Now it was your turn to watch him shift in his discomfort, averting his gaze and swallowing thickly. “Never really had much of a relationship with him or my mother… I uh… I lived with my aunt and uncle since I was a child.”

“Did you have much of a relationship with them, then?”

Jaehyun shrugged.

“Not as much as I did with my tutors,” he huffed, perhaps in some attempt to lighten the mood, “they were the ones I spent most of my time with.”

You hummed, hands stilling around the papers you had yet to hand over to him.

At your lack of an immediate response, he looked up, continuing, “It’s nothing to pity me for. They raised me as best as they could.”

“I don’t pity you,” you spoke.

Sure, it wasn’t exactly pity that you felt, but you weren’t sure what exactly the feeling that stirred in your chest even was. Perhaps it was a desire to be as grateful for your parents as he was? Perhaps it was an understanding of the little insistence that he didn’t want to be pitied. Perhaps it was the breathlessness that came with the way he was looking at you now, expectant for your reply.

Whatever it was, you found yourself recalling your conversation with your sister, feeling almost embarrassed at how even now, you still thought he was capable of turning things to gold.

“You don’t?” he questioned, his tone uncharacteristically gentle, unlike anything you’ve heard before.

“Do you want me to?” you weren’t sure why you were asking, simply curious how he would reply.

Jaehyun let out a huff through his nose, shaking his head. He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to elicit from you. Although it was definitely something , he could say certainly that pity definitely wasn’t what it was.

“No, I don’t.”

You held his gaze, nodding. “Good, I don’t want you to pity me either.”

Before he could reply, you straightened up, handing the documents back to him with your father’s seal already in its rightful place. Taking in a deep breath, he stood up, taking you back almost immediately to what it felt like to dance with him at the ball, your proximity to him now allowing you to feel him towering over you, though strangely without the condescension that was present before.

“A lady like you shouldn’t care for my pity,” he murmured, the faintest of smiles playing at his lips.

And just like that, it was as if the exchange never happened, as if you both didn’t just bare a part of your souls to each other. Jaehyun straightened out his clothes, averting his gaze to the floor as you both allowed the façade of banter to mask the windedness that came from suddenly feeling all-too exposed.

“You won’t need to tell me twice.”

===

“You wouldn’t believe what I heard at the flower market,” your sister barged into your room as you were getting ready to attend a soiree that evening.

Your eyebrows raised, smoothing down your dress before sitting on your bed, giving her an expectant look.

“It appears Lord Jung is an anti-social man,” she began, “a few of the ladies at the flower market were talking about him, they said he’s rarely seen with people other than those he does business with. I interpreted that as the man having no friends, but that’s quite sad, isn’t it?”

You shrugged, “I figure something like that is subjective.”

Your sister didn’t seem convinced, “I think it’s lonely. Not having anyone to talk to about your life, about your struggles, about your joys… only being able to talk about your business wherever you go. I find that an awfully lonely way to live.”

Huffing, you got up from your bed, “He doesn’t seem keen on finding a marriage partner either so perhaps he’s more comfortable in this loneliness than you think.”

“I don’t believe it,” she grunted, “but it does make some sense. Maybe that’s why his manners aren’t the best, because he’s used to talking to cunning old businessmen.”

You let out a huff of laughter, “You sound like you’re defending him.”

Giving you a shrug, she hummed, “Maybe if you see him at the soirée later you can find out for yourself if he’s worth defending,” she smiled.

You could only sigh at that, glancing out the door when you heard your mother calling for you.

“That is, if Mr Nakamoto doesn’t talk my ears off before that.”

One thing about soirées, or these public events during the season in general, was that they didn’t allow for much privacy at all. It wasn’t like you were in the confines of your father’s study with the viscount’s full attention on you, no. You were in someone else’s house, with many many different eyes on you, at the receiving end of everybody’s attention except the very person who wouldn’t seem to leave your mind.

It was as if you were being shadowed by Yuta, your mother looking on with delight as your chaperone while the both of you conversed and you nursed your glass of whatever drink he’d handed to you. In such a setting, you couldn’t help but be hyper-aware of your posture, your manners, your tone of voice, the way you held your fan, even the way you would time your glances towards Yuta. All part of your tedious game, you supposed— to win the affections of a man you felt no real desire towards.

What did you desire, then? You wondered. His attention? His approval? You continued with the knowledge that even if you didn’t desire him, you wanted to feel worthy of his desire. It was messy, and it felt manipulative. But you figured those were things you’d signed up for the moment you started playing this game (however unwillingly).

You could see Jaehyun standing at the corner of the room next to the grand piano, looking intently at the multitude of sheet music next to the piano. The sight was almost amusing when you recalled your sister’s words, because indeed as you looked at him now, the sheer intent of his glare on the sheet music would be enough to intimidate anyone from initiating a conversation with him.

“Do you know how to play?” Yuta’s words had caught your attention, and you’d almost grimaced at the realisation that you’d been walking towards the piano. Stopping just a few paces away from the piano, you cast a brief glance at Jaehyun who was still glaring at the sheet music in his hands.

“No, no. I don’t, actually.”

Yuta smiled, “I would offer to play something for you, but it seems viscount Jung has beat me to it,” he murmured as you heard the melody start to sound from the piano. You knew this piece, it was the one your sister was playing when Jaehyun had visited your house the other day.

For some reason, the piece held much more melancholy than you realised, or maybe it was the way he was playing it, holding you (and all the other women in the room, you guessed) captive, unable to look elsewhere.

You weren’t even paying attention to what you were talking to Yuta about, feeling the words come out of your mouth but paying no attention to what you were actually saying. Little did you know that as focused as Jaehyun seemed on his playing, every word of yours was flitting into his mind and refusing to leave.

“I was always envious of people who could play the piano,” you sighed almost wistfully, earning a hum from Yuta.

“Were you not tutored for it?”

You shook your head, “It wasn’t something I was interested in when I was younger, but I suppose as I grew older, the music started to feel comforting to an extent. Only I was simply a listener, not the one who conveyed such comfort,” you huffed, attempting to make light of your feelings.

Yuta, as always, replied with his flowery lines, not being able to pick up on how you were really feeling and taking your words at surface level with a smile.

“Well, you certainly are an excellent conversationalist, so I would still consider myself accomplished if I were you.”

You hummed, brushing off your discomfort and mustering a smile, “Thank you.”

Jaehyun had to withhold his amusement, wondering again why it was that you were so willing to withdraw to men like Yuta, men who were all-too-familiar with manipulating their words to their advantage. If you’d simply bit back with half the amount of snark that you generously gave him, he was sure Yuta would be at a loss for words.

How frustrating. Surely, you could tell that Yuta was not a good match for you, couldn’t you?

Coming to the end of his piano piece, Jaehyun stood up, simply picking up his glass of wine that he had set on top of the piano, acting as if he wasn’t the one at the receiving end of the room’s applause.

Perhaps it was a stroke of divine timing, but one of the servants had approached Yuta, murmuring into his ear something you couldn’t quite catch. Yuta straightened up in response, casting an apologetic glance your way.

“Forgive me, I need to excuse myself for a moment,” he muttered, rushing off to somewhere you couldn’t truly be bothered to wonder about.

Jaehyun did not waste the opportunity presented to him, taking just the tiniest of steps closer to you and murmuring behind his glass, “Evening… are you alright?”

He noticed the way your shoulders were tense, your fidgety gaze around the room, the way you’d kept bringing your glass to your lips but the level of liquid in your glass was barely going down.

“Please, spare me. I am in no mood for needless bickering tonight,” you huffed, bringing your glass to your lips again to take a small sip.

Truthfully enough, the ache was back again as you stood in the room filled with chatter and music. The ache of longing for the ability to rid yourself of the façade of the perfect marriage partner that was growing more tiring to uphold. The ache that grew stronger when you conversed with Yuta, feeling as though if you were to enter a marriage with this man, the ache would only intensify. It was dangerous to entertain him in a place like this, because Jaehyun’s presence always seemed to draw you out of this façade.

“Bickering?” he scoffed, a faint smirk appearing on his lips.

“Was that not what you approached me for?” you turned to him with a frown, “I suppose the soirée was getting boring for you if you felt the need to take such a drastic measure as to approach me of all people.”

There you were , he mused.

Jaehyun shifted another step closer to you, something about his proximity making the conversation between the both of you more obvious, and you could tell from the way your mother was looking at you that it was indeed obvious that you had his attention.

“Oh, not at all. I was hoping I could be reminded what an excellent conversationalist you were,” he drawled, clearly proud of himself judging from the smile playing on his lips.

You rolled your eyes. “And you suppose you’re any better?”

“Of course, I am. Anyway, you didn’t answer my question.”

“You asked me a question? Must not have been worth remembering,” you sighed.

As much as you felt he annoyed you, you had to admit that it was somewhat relieving not having to be on your ‘best behaviour’ around him. You were sure any chance of marriage would be tossed out of the window if you were to speak in such a manner to Yuta (or any other suitor).

Jaehyun’s expression grew more serious, eyebrows lifting slightly in concern, “I asked if you were alright.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, suddenly feeling as exposed as you did that day in the study. It was strange how easily he managed to read into your feelings. You figured you’d been doing a good job at masking it.

“What does it matter? It’s not like you to be so concerned,” you huffed.

“So, you’re not alright?” he prompted, earning a shrug from you, looking into your glass as though it held the answer you were both looking for.

“It doesn’t matter if I’m feeling alright or not, the soirée is not going to end anytime soon,” you danced around his question, hoping the mention of the soirée would redirect his line of questioning.

He noticed the Rubies that were draped around your neck, something about it feeling off. He much preferred the look of the Amethysts you were wearing before, the first time he’d met you.

“New necklace?” he quirked an eyebrow at you, earning a grunt in response.

“A gift,” you muttered, “from Mr Nakamoto.”

“I see. You still haven’t answered my question,” his tone remained firm, eyebrows furrowed and gaze intent on you.

You clenched and unclenched your fist, turning to him with your eyebrows furrowed, throat feeling dry as you tried to wrangle your voice awake when you met his gaze, uncomfortable at the way his attentiveness tempted you to pour out your feelings to him.

“Is this really the reason you approached me? Look, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. What does it matter? ”

Jaehyun was undeterred, meeting you with the same amount of stubbornness and challenge, “It matters because you’re… different. You behaved… differently when you were talking to Mr Nakamoto.”

“Compared to what? When I’m talking to you?” the words left you quicker than you could process them.

“Do you not think so?” he retorted just as quickly, tilting his head at you with the confidence that came from knowing the answer without you having to verbalise it.

You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding.

“Well… there’s no reason for me to act as though I’m trying to impress you.”

Jaehyun simply huffed in amusement, tilting his glass slightly as he contemplated uttering the thought that came to mind, going for it anyway.

“Somehow, that impresses me enough.”

Unsure what to make of his words, you shifted your gaze elsewhere, adjusting your grip on your glass because your palms had started to feel clammy. You remembered wondering what it would’ve been like at the receiving end of his attention, and now that you had it you were finding that even his words seemed capable of sprinkling gold dust on your heart.

“I didn’t know you could play the piano,” you changed the subject, your body starting to feel warm under your clothes, burning under the intensity of his gaze, wondering if this was how the sheet music must have felt under his gaze.

“I picked it up when I was younger. Out of all the instruments I've touched, I would say the piano is the one I tend to return to more.”

“It’s your favourite?”

He shook his head.

“What is your favourite, then?” You found yourself asking, genuinely curious this time instead of just a small-talk formality that you usually followed at such events.

You wouldn’t have known it, but Jaehyun was feeling the same unfamiliarity as you, feeling as though his body was moving before he could process it. He wasn’t used to holding a conversation like this with someone he barely knew, especially when it wasn’t about business or architecture. And for some reason, he couldn’t find it in himself to care about the stares he was receiving as a result of such conversation.

“The violin,” he admitted almost sheepishly, as if he was embarrassed that he could play an instrument you could only dream of playing.

Your eyebrows lifted in surprise, gaze wandering to the violin that was perched nearby the piano, after being played by one of the guests when you’d first arrived.

“Why is it your favourite?”

He hummed, and by now you’d forgotten that Yuta had even promised to return, something in you not being able to find it in yourself to pretend that you were annoyed at Jaehyun’s attention, you truthfully weren’t. For someone as ‘antisocial’ as he was deemed, you found it was comfortable feeling like you didn’t have to present ‘textbook perfect wife’ answers for him. If only your sister could see you now.

“It was the first instrument I learned as a child… but I moved on to different instruments when I was older because my aunt insisted on me learning other instruments. You know, the more skills, the better. Somehow it’s…” he huffed, amused at his own willingness to share with you, the only person aside from his best friend Johnny that wasn’t keeling over begging to polish the ground he walks on.

It was refreshing, he was realising, to not be treated like he was perfect.

“It makes me very nostalgic. For that time in my life when there were no worries, you know? When all I had on my mind was the next piece I was eager to ask my tutor to teach me, waiting each day for her to retrieve the sheet music so I could play it until I knew it by heart.”

Jaehyun continued, “It’s strange, sometimes when I find myself picking up the violin again, it’s like the music just flows out naturally… and I realise I really did know it by heart.”

You hummed, nodding.

“Like muscle memory,” you offered, earning a soft smile from him unlike anything you’ve seen before. This one made you feel as though you were catching glimpses of Jaehyun as a child, the little boy whose only worry was for the day the calluses on his fingers would start to disappear.

“Can you play something now?” you weren’t sure what compelled you to ask, but the answer you were met with had surprised you even more.

“Oh, no no. It’s not… like that,” he huffed, still a hint of sheepishness in the smile that lingered on his features, “I don’t play it that often… rarely. Only when I'm really stressed, if there's too much on my mind.”

Nodding, you took a fuller sip of your drink, slightly more liberated now that your stomach wasn’t churning like how it was before.

“Your aunt must’ve really invested a lot of her fortune in your tuition, considering you were tutored for multiple instruments,” you hummed, earning a grunt from him.

“I suppose she had to, they received too much from my parents each month to not do anything with it,” he sighed, leaning against the bookshelf behind him, turning his head to look at you with tired eyes, “I still remember the way I would look forward to the letters they would send every now and then just to praise me for whatever competition I had won, or whatever certificate I'd achieved.”

“Do you think it was worth it? All the effort you put in?” you murmured, curious to how he would answer even though you knew you’d be at a loss if the same question was asked to you. Somehow, you felt like his answer would tell you more about him than small talk at balls or promenades would.

Jaehyun hummed thoughtfully, lips pursing slightly, “That was what love felt like to me back then, the love I felt for music and… their letters, so… do I think it was worth it?” he shrugged, a smile that bordered on bitterness had graced his features, “Do you?”

Perhaps it was the way you felt like you couldn’t hide under his gaze, or maybe it was the way you felt like he wouldn’t hold your grievances against you. Whatever it was, you found yourself wanting to share with him. And strangely enough, the idea of it had started to scare you less as time went by.

“My parents were like that too. You know, as the oldest daughter… no news was good news. My duty was to… to not cause worry, to be strong for the family, to take care of my sister, to perform well in all that I did for the family’s sake. For me, it was… like an instruction manual,” you huffed, finding yourself looking to him for affirmation that he understood what you meant, and the knowing smile and nod you received in return made your heart jump in your chest.

“Do all of this well and you’ll receive your parents’ love. Don’t do it and…” you trailed off, earning a hum from him.

“Tire yourself out trying and trying again,” he murmured, earning a deep sigh from you.

Did you think it was worth it? You weren’t sure, but you still found yourself trying nonetheless.

Jaehyun had succeeded in unlocking a part of you you’d never spoken to anyone about before, and like you said, something about it felt liberating, the solution to your ache starting to feel a little more within reach even if you still weren’t sure what it was.

“One of my friends, Johnny, has a pretty strong view about this… he says that people are fickle… that we can change based on the slightest of factors…”

“Your friend sounds a little bitter.”

The viscount laughed, “Quite the contrary, actually, I think he’s quite the romantic… just overly managing his expectations.”

“Is that so? What made him have such views, then?”

The viscount hummed, pressing his lips in a firm line before parting them to speak, “Money, I suppose. How people react to money, how he’s seen it change the way people treat a person. Sometimes, it’s difficult to tell whether a person is enamoured with you or the security your wealth provides. Though, with the way things are, it leaves a woman with no choice but to seek out security first, love being secondary to everything else.”

You hummed, nodding slowly as you processed his words.

“Sorry, I interrupted. You were saying?”

Jaehyun wasn’t sure why that made him smile, choosing to dismiss it and continue anyway, “anyway, his view is that when we’re constantly trying and trying to follow these instruction manuals on ‘How to earn love’... at the end of the day they can hold it over our heads and decide that there are more instructions, more requirements we haven’t met yet… he thinks it isn’t possible.”

You frowned, “What? To find love?”

Jaehyun nodded, “Genuine love, I suppose. I guess I understand what he means. Even though more people have been talking about a love match these days, it feels out of reach somehow. People still end up looking at you like a list of instructions, a list of qualifications, weighing who has a list that is easier to meet and going with that.”

“Do you think yours is difficult to meet?” you found yourself asking, earning a blank look from the viscount.

“That’s the thing,” he huffed, “People like us… who try and try and are tired of trying… we wish we didn’t have one.”

Somehow, you felt a certain conviction in your heart, shaking your head at him.

“Maybe we don’t, and we just haven’t realised that yet.”

===

You hadn’t seen Jaehyun at the next ball, or the next, and he didn’t return to your house for meetings with your father. You figured he was busy, so you tried not to wait. Though the ache persisted, coming and going like waves. With how often you felt it, you assumed you would have grown familiar with it. But in cases like these, the familiarity was unsettling, as if your body was crying out for help that you weren’t able to provide.

Yuta kept you relatively occupied, sending you flowers regularly, light and bright coloured blooms attached to meanings of affection and purity and fondness, accompanied with letters containing equally flowery words. Though it didn’t keep you occupied enough.

Time seemed to pass without much of your awareness, the only thing you were aware of being the way the flowers Yuta sent would slowly wither and your sister would replace them with the new bouquets he sent over. You were growing frustrated at Yuta’s perfection, because that demanded perfection from you as well. You would be lying if you said you didn’t miss the liberation that came with your conversations with the viscount. Those were different, demanding honesty instead of perfection, and perhaps, perfection was found in that honesty.

“I think we can start thinking about discussing marriage with Mr Nakamoto,” your mother turned to murmur as you were having tea with Yuta in the drawing room, the man busy talking to your father about whatever literary piece they found they both enjoyed.

“Marriage?” you weren’t sure why the prospect seemed so daunting now that your mother had mentioned it, something about her words making you realise that her plans were solidifying and you couldn’t simply continue to play ‘tea party’ with Yuta much longer.

Your attention was diverted when your sister had entered with a stack of letters in her hand (presumably taken from the staff), her excited gaze meeting yours as she waved a single letter in your direction.

“Are those my letters?” your mother asked, earning a grunt from your sister.

“They’re father’s letters,” she informed tersely, making her way over to you and dropping a single letter into your lap, shoving the rest towards your mother in an attempt to distract her.

The dismayed expression on your mother showed it was somewhat successful, “You know, you really have to fix your manners when it’s your turn to debut,” she began, seeming ready to launch into a tirade of nit-picking towards your sister but you knew nothing could very well escape her watchful eyes when it came to you, eyeing the letter in your hands curiously.

“What’s that?”

“Sister’s letter.”

Your mother’s hand reached out quickly, grasping the letter in your hand and peering over your shoulder to look at it, seeing no indication of a sender other than an elaborate letter ‘J’ imprinted on the seal.

“J? Do we know anyone with that initial?”

Your thoughts ran first to Jaehyun, and the look you exchanged with your sister only proved your suspicions correct, though she was quick to cover for you.

“Johnson, remember? Betty Johnson? Sister’s old friend that moved overseas,” it almost surprised you how smoothly she lied through her teeth when she was never a good liar. You never had a friend with the surname Johnson.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t have remembered her. I used to play with her and sister outside the church grounds when we were younger,” you added, pleased with how your mother had bought your lie, shrugging as she turned her attention back to her cup of tea.

“If you’re going to start exchanging letters, don’t expect the money to come from your father and I. We’re already putting more than we can into your dowry,” she muttered, earning a sigh from you as Yuta and your father returned from his study.

“Shall we promenade?” he offered, and you glanced at your sister before looking back at him, rolled your shoulders back and gave him your sweetest smile.

Your sister leaned over, pretending to fix your hair so she could lean in to murmur softly, “I’ll put the letter in your notebook.”

And so you left to promenade with Yuta.

“Lovely weather, isn’t it?” he smiled, squinting his eyes as he looked up at the sky, with you holding your parasol above your head, simply giving him a small hum.

“Have any other suitors declared their pursuit of you?” Yuta spoke abruptly, earning a frown from you.

Shaking your head, you couldn’t find it in yourself to speak, something about your anxiousness swallowing your words. You could almost hear your mother’s voice in your head now, telling you once again to ‘ use your words ’.

“No, they haven’t,” you managed to force out, earning a solemn nod from Yuta.

“Really? Not even viscount Jung?”

Your frown deepened, “What makes you say that?”

“Nothing in particular… just figured he was the only other person that could have caught your attention this season.”

You huffed, even Yuta thought of Jaehyun highly. You, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to get the image of the little boy playing the violin out of your mind when you thought of him, something about it was endearing.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking this, but… do you know the viscount personally by any chance?”

Somehow your words seemed to have struck a chord with Yuta, his expression turning stoic and his gaze shifting elsewhere. He shook his head, “No, I don’t.”

“Are you sure? He seemed to find you familiar at the ball—”

“He must be mistaking me for someone else,” Yuta turned to you with a smile, though the firmness of his tone contrasted the gentleness of his smile. It was enough to deter you from asking any further. With Yuta, you needed to be careful, knowing something as simple as behaving in an ill-mannered way would be enough to make your family’s plans for security and stability fall through. It wasn’t as simple as it seemed with Jaehyun, who was always game for whatever you threw his way.

The mood had turned sour afterwards, the both of you remaining in relative silence (well, other than Yuta’s occasional utterances of praise for your parents) until you were both back at your house, the servant who chaperoned behind the both of you helping to take the parasol from your hands as Yuta got ready to bid you goodbye.

After he left, it was like your body moved faster than you could process. It was embarrassing , the way you felt like an excited child running up to your room and grabbing the book sitting on your desk, flipping it open and letting Jaehyun’s letter drop out onto your bed.

Tearing the little envelope open with your finger, you unfolded the letter, catching a whiff of something so unmistakably like Jaehyun that it almost felt like he was in the same room.

‘Ms Y/N Y/L/N,

My apologies for disappearing without a word. I needed to leave urgently because of my friend, the one we talked about the other day. His father passed and I’m aiding him with the handover of his father’s business and some of the family property to him, since I was previously closely working with his father for their family’s winery. Perhaps I should be more apologetic for the fact that now social events are sure to be dreadful for you without my presence.’

You scoffed, you could almost picture the smirk on his face as he wrote that.

‘I am unsure when I am to return, but I am sure it will be before the season ends. I suppose now that my friend’s father has passed, he is to be looking for a wife as well, though I doubt it would be easy to convince him to come back with me. With his status now as a Marquess, I suppose many would be eager to coerce him into marrying their daughters if he were to arrive in town. Something he seems very opposed to.

Again, I hope I have not needlessly worried you with my sudden absence. Though, I suppose my absence would be something that gains rejoicing from you rather than disappointment. Nonetheless, things are rather hectic here. I hoped that in writing to you I could gain some form of entertainment hearing about the progress in the marriage mart that I am unfortunately missing out on. You can write to me, but it will be addressed to my friend’s estate as I am staying here until I leave. I look forward to hearing from you. Do keep safe and in good health.

-J’

“I’d keep that locked up, if I were you,” you jumped at the sound of your sister’s voice behind you, a mischievous smile on her face as she shut the door behind her, crawling onto your bed and making herself comfortable there.

“So is it official? That he’s courting you seriously?” she asked, and you could see the way her smile fell as you pursed your lips, shaking your head at her.

Now that you heard her words for yourself, it made you wonder. You expected Jaehyun to be someone meticulous, someone careful, someone who knew exactly what the implications of sending a lady a letter was in this day and age. It made you wonder about the intimacy hidden behind his otherwise mundane updates, and for some reason, it made you long for more.

“I’m going to write back,” you spoke, more for yourself than for her.

Her smile grew, “This is a dangerous game you’re playing, sister. I suppose you found he’s worth defending after all?”

You hummed absently, already pulling out your writing materials to begin writing your response to him.

“Not quite yet, but something tells me this will be worth it.”

‘Dear J,

My condolences for your friend’s father, I can only imagine how overwhelming it is to have all sorts of responsibility thrown at you before you can even process your own grief. Truthfully, I hadn’t noticed your absence’ (you were lying, obviously)

‘Perhaps because things have been hectic here as well. Each day seems to be filled with entertaining Mr Nakamoto and going for promenades. I’m quite tired of all the walking, to be very honest.

The mention of your friend made me think of what you said that day at the soirée, about finding genuine love in a world where marriage is an economic proposition. I find myself searching sometimes, even though I know my efforts are probably in vain. I know the reason I have been entertaining Mr Nakamoto is not because I’m attracted to him. It is like what you said, I find myself seeing him more as his list of instructions, and what that demands of mine. Then, I find myself drawn back to my duty as the first daughter of my family, drawn back to the need to secure some sort of relief or security for my family. By then, there is no thought of finding love in a marriage partner, only the transaction of it all. Still, there is a part of me that wonders how different the whole process would be if I truly loved my partner, how much less it would feel like a game and more like life.

I am only asking because I have not seen you dance with anyone at the events so far. I suppose you are either picky or disinterested. But just out of curiosity, do you think it’s possible? For you, I mean, to find genuine love this season?

I hope this proves as entertaining as you wished for it to be, I won’t apologise even if it ends up disappointing you.

From, me’

===

‘Ms Y/N Y/L/N,

Thank you for your concern. My friend is doing much better now, and I hope this means the chances of him returning with me have increased. I would like for you to meet him, something tells me he would get along well with your sister, they both seem to have a penchant for the arts.

To answer your question, I believe it is possible. Whether it is wise of me to think so, or whether it is wishful thinking… that remains undecided. But I cannot be sure. Personally, I have not come across such love where you are seen for all that you are and still loved, but I would like to believe it exists. Whether I am able to find it this season or not, believing it exists makes it feel more like life, like you said.

With that being said, I do wish the same for you, as much as you may not believe me. More than just promenades, answers from manuals, accomplishments and duties, but life. Sure, duties are important, family is important. But in my honest opinion, I don’t think fulfilling your duties should mean sacrificing your happiness, especially when it isn’t very well your duty at all, but that of others projected onto you. Perhaps I would get stoned by your mother if I said so, but I mean it.

I have to be going now, but I can guarantee that I will be back soon. Perhaps in less than a month’s time you will find yourself bickering with me at the corner of a rich woman’s house again. Do keep safe and in good health.

-J’

You should’ve trusted the nauseous feeling in your gut when you saw Yuta arrive at your house that morning, having arranged a private meeting with your parents and leaving promptly after. There could have only been one reason behind it, and it worried you. Again, the ache intensified, feeling as though it would only solidify if your suspicions were proved correct.

It was during teatime when your mother finally addressed the elephant in the room.

“Your father and I are keen on you proceeding with Mr Nakamoto,” she spoke plainly, your hand halting around the handle of your teacup.

“Huh?” as pathetic as it was, was all you could muster.

“Weighing your potential suitors, Mr Nakamoto brings the most stability. He has property, he is of a suitable age, he has wealth, he is personable. He seems prudent,” she lifted her gaze from her teacup to glance at you, just the slightest of frowns as she met your wide-eyed expression.

You knew this, yet you weren’t sure why it shocked you to hear it verbalised so forwardly.

“I’m sure you have no complaints,” it came more as a warning instead of an assumption, enough to make your throat feel dry and your voice start to retreat, “you can expect him to propose soon, so I expect you to be on your best behaviour. The family’s reputation depends on your response.”

You thought back to Jaehyun’s words. If you were to reject Yuta’s proposal, would that make you wise or foolish? You knew what was riding on this decision. If you were to reject him, you would retain a little bit of your freedom, but you would damage your reputation. It wasn’t exactly ideal to be regarded as a jilt, much less to a man like Mr Nakamoto, who had many women in your town lining up for him. Weighing your other potential suitors, you weren’t sure if being married to a man older than your father was a better option.

Almost unconsciously, your thoughts wandered to Jaehyun, the feelings you associated with him— or more accurately, how different these feelings were from the ones you associated with Yuta.

It was starting to make you anxious, you realised that as you exchanged letters with him for a while now, he had grown on you more than you realised. The way you felt at the receiving end of his attentiveness. The way he seemed to read into your signals and cues and meet you where you were without expecting you to be perfect. The way he made you hopeful that you could find love… and perhaps wishful that you could find it in him.

You were anxious, because when you thought of Jaehyun, what was coming to mind wasn’t his credentials, his wealth, his family, or his status. But rather, it was him , the blunt yet gentle, aloof yet attentive, hardened yet tender-hearted person that he was.

You were anxious, because even as you were being told about your perfect prospect of marriage, you found that you only ached for him ; the man who was maybe a stranger to your textbook gentleman, but not a stranger to you.

You took in a deep breath, setting your teacup down with shaky hands, standing up and letting out the breath you were holding.

Use your words.

“I’m not feeling too well,” you murmured softly enough that you knew your voice wouldn’t give way, “please, excuse me.”

You struggled up the stairs, finding it difficult to focus on anything other than the way your heart was pounding and your head was starting to spin. Eventually, you found yourself at your desk, writing materials ready and already finding yourself addressing the only person you could think of at this moment.

‘Dear J,

My parents have been talking to me about pursuing a marriage with Mr Nakamoto, and in the position that I am, I am inclined to accept.’

===

This time, you didn’t receive a reply from Jaehyun. Previous times, you could always be sure that his reply would not take longer than a week. But this time was different, as the flowers Yuta continued to send withered and were replaced, there was no news of any mail for you. Even your sister was starting to grow concerned at the way things were going, starting to display Yuta’s flowers in places you wouldn’t pass as often when you were going about your daily routine. But you noticed, the flowers Yuta gave you were always light, bright colours in delicate blooms; nothing like the bigger blooms your sister tended to get.

The waiting was the worst this time, and you knew why. It was different this time, knowing you were anticipating his reply for different reasons. You couldn’t hide behind boredom, or curiosity as to how he would respond to your questions and words. This time your anticipation lay in hope, in your ache, and that was the worst kind of anticipation for you. Girls like you couldn’t hope, you had far too many responsibilities. You needed to be pragmatic, realistic, practical. There was no room for hope in your heart, yet you found that it was all you were doing these days.

Hoping that wherever he was, he was safe. Hoping that wherever he was, there wasn’t a perfect girl who was discovering if his touch could turn her worries into gold. Hoping that wherever he was, he was thinking of you.

You hoped it wasn’t too late.

The longer you waited, the more foolish you felt. Pouring your heart out to him in your letters like that when there was no real guarantee that he would feel the same way, when there was no real guarantee that he would take Yuta’s place.

As conversations about responsibilities, about being a good wife to Yuta had started to intensify, you gave yourself no choice but to bottle up the anxiety you felt, directing it inwards till you felt it start to take a toll on your mind.

There was a knock at your door before the door opened with a soft click, seeing your sister walk in carrying a vase containing new flowers, white lilies that filled your room with a scent that comforted you just slightly in your fatigue.

Setting the vase down carefully, your sister turned, stopping in her tracks when she realised you were awake, the slightest of frowns on her features, “Sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you.”

You shook your head, a sigh leaving you as you stretched your arms over your head, “I was already awake a long time ago, don’t worry.”

Padding over to your bed to take a seat next to your legs, her body angled towards you and her hand smoothing over the blanket that covered you, her gaze scanned your appearance.

“Still nothing?” You asked, earning a small sigh from her.

“Nothing,” she shook her head. Pausing, she shook her head, “maybe the letters just got lost in the mail?”

You let out a sigh through your nose, shifting your gaze to the Lilies perched next to your window, the light seeping through the glass making you almost dread the day that was to come. Another day spent waiting.

“I would like to believe that, but I've sent far too many letters to him to believe that,” you murmured, “perhaps it was foolish of me, you know?”

Her frown deepened, “What was?”

“Thinking that I could actually find a love match. Thinking that I could develop an affection for the viscount and remain unscathed,” you huffed, bitterness laced in your words that left an unpleasant aftertaste in your mouth.

Your sister hummed, “Do you think it is the affection you feel for him that is what is hurting you? Or the absence of this affection for Mr Nakamoto?”

There it was again, the wave that washed over you and forced you into sobriety, the ache for the rest that went beyond physical things that you were starting to give up trying to satisfy. You supposed when push comes to shove, you would find something to love in Yuta, you would simply have to.

“It’s been more than a month, sister. I cannot… I cannot afford to wait for him much longer. I cannot afford to keep avoiding Mr Nakamoto.”

She sighed, “I know. Father has been meeting him to discuss your marriage arrangement for a while now.”

Somehow, that was enough to solidify your decision for you, as reluctant as you were. Saying yes to Yuta’s proposal… perhaps it would be a wise decision in your trying and trying to earn the affections of your father. It would be wise for you to do what is pleasing to your family. It would be wise for you to be obedient, to continue to be dependable for them.

You heard the click of the lock, the door opening to reveal your mother, “Mr Nakamoto is here, dear. He has requested a private audience with you.”

Exchanging a knowing look with your sister, you nodded.

“Give me a moment to make myself presentable. I shall be down shortly,” you murmured, seeing your sister still wearing that same look of concern as you got out of bed, your mother leaving and shutting the door.

Getting ready, you stared yourself down in the mirror, glancing between yourself and the sight of your sister behind you on your bed, a now unreadable expression on her face.

“I’m not going to refuse when he asks,” you murmured, more for yourself than for her.

Perhaps she knew this, because the nod she gave you was all you needed to give you the little bit of conviction that you would go through with this, for your family’s sake.

===

Perfection was subjective, you knew this now. You knew it for a fact as you lay in bed, your head spinning and your heart feeling heavy, a week since Yuta had left town for business after your engagement.

The stress of it all was getting to you, the ache in your heart for rest, the ache to not have to be ‘on’ and be present to all the people and things that demanded your attention, the pressure you were putting on yourself to be the person your parents expected you to be, or maybe who you expected yourself to be, the ache to be able to depend on someone other than yourself.

You couldn’t even shake the fact that you were still wondering about Jaehyun, the last bit of desperation in you used to hope that he would return soon. It was amusing, considering that his return would probably be worse because you were already betrothed to another man. Somehow, you were still eager to write to him, asking your sister to help to pen down your messages because you were too weak to get out of bed. At least when you did this, you could say you still tried at the end of the day, because trying was what you were familiar with.

You could barely get yourself out of bed, wanting nothing more than to sleep away your days as you waited for Yuta to return, for him to seal your fate with your marriage. Each day, your sister would come in and attempt to get you to eat, but you couldn’t find it in you to have an appetite, simply eating a few bites to appease her before you were allowed to sleep the time away before your next meal.

Little did you know that your waiting for Yuta was in vain.

Jaehyun almost thought he was hallucinating when he heard the sound of a familiar laughter echoing a few tables away from him at the bar he was at with Johnny. “Do you recognise him?” Johnny asked, evident disdain in his tone and the pointedness of his glare, earning a confused look from Jaehyun.

“Who?”

“That man over there, the conman, Nakamoto Yuta? was his name if i recall correctly,” Johnny gestured with his head to the source of the laughter, Jaehyun’s eyes narrowing when he realised that the man sitting at that table was very much familiar, and very much Yuta.

“Conman?” Jaehyun murmured, a sinking feeling in his stomach as he observed the woman next to him, the Rubies she adorned on her neck identical to the ones he saw you wearing at the soirée.

Johnny nodded, using his finger to trace the mouth of his glass, “I recognise him from my time in Paris. You see the woman next to him? Remember how I told you Rubies were popular among the women there?” Johnny gestured to his neck, “It took me a while, but I realised it was only because that was his trademark. Like a branding for the women he was set on cheating for their money in exchange for his affection.”

Jaehyun frowned. Did that make you one of Yuta’s targets, then?

“Are you familiar with his methods?”

“Too familiar, I wish I wasn’t,” Johnny sighed, “He tried the same thing on my cousin. You know, all these young girls looking for the perfect husband. He paints himself out to be little less than a saint, and they eat it up. The prince charming that came to sweep them off their feet when in actual fact his occupation is never revealed, his life is a series of carefully constructed lies that differ depending on who he’s talking to… he strung my cousin along for ages, doing ‘business dealings’ with my uncle that landed him in debt that my father had to pay off.”

“And your cousin?”

Johnny knocked back the rest of the alcohol in his glass, “Heartbroken, obviously. Once he had his fill of her and her family’s money he left without a single warning.”

“Couldn’t you file a suit against him for that?” Jaehyun’s mind was racing with questions, with a growing worry for you, especially since the last letter he’d received from you was talking about your likely marriage to Yuta.

“And what about the women? Wouldn’t they have warned each other by now? Isn’t it obvious when everyone’s receiving the same thing—the Rubies and flowers and all—from him?” Jaehyun continued, earning a deep sigh from Johnny.

“That’s the thing. She was too in love with him by then, she insisted that we couldn’t go after him. Plus, by the time he was done with them, they didn’t have enough money to file a suit even if they wanted to.”

“I mean, who wouldn’t want to be the centre of attention of a doting, romantic, young , attractive young man?” Johnny let out a bitter laugh, “You of all people should know it’s all business. When someone like Yuta comes along, he brings the fantasy of a desirable love match with him. It was never about what they were receiving, but who they were receiving it from. The perfect prince charming he made himself out to be.”

Johnny glanced over at Yuta with a sigh before raising his hand to catch the server’s attention to order another drink.

At Jaehyun’s lack of a response, Johnny noticed his friend’s face paling, his gaze fixed on the table looking deep in thought, “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”

“The girl,” Jaehyun rasped, clearing his throat and blinking his eyes harshly, “the one I sent the letter to…”

“Yeah? Didn’t you say she was getting engaged?” Johnny hummed, earning a grim nod from Jaehyun.

“It was supposed to be to him .”

Johnny’s lips parted, exchanging a knowing look with Jaehyun. He wasn’t daft, he knew Jaehyun’s affections for this girl ran deep, deeper than he let on.

“I… I need to go back,” he said finally, “I hope you can understand.”

At this, Johnny let out a laugh, an incredulous look on his face.

“Finally! I was wondering when you’d come to your senses.”

“Huh?” Jaehyun’s stare was blank, confusion written all over his face.

“ I’m not the one keeping you here… I think we both know that,” Johnny spoke slowly, nodding at Jaehyun, the latter who was already trying to form a mental estimate of how long it would take him to get to you.

“God, I feel so…”

“Foolish?” Johnny offered with a smile, earning a glare from Jaehyun.

“I can’t believe I was going to sit here and do nothing while she gets cheated by that man,” Jaehyun brought a hand up to wipe his face harshly.

Taking a sip of his drink, Johnny huffed, “Want me to hit him for you?”

Jaehyun scoffed, “Not if I get to him first.”

“I’ll tell them to prepare your carriage for tomorrow morning, you’ll be back in three days at most,” Johnny spoke calmly, amusement still lingering in his smile as he observed Jaehyun’s lost expression, the viscount seeming too blinded by the rage he felt towards Yuta to think clearly.

Johnny grunted, waving his hands in dismissal, “Don’t waste your time with him, go to your girl first.”

Jaehyun wasn’t sure what he was picturing when he imagined returning to you. He got your letters, every single one of them. He read every word to the point where he was sure he knew them by heart. Your letters told him about the town, about who had gotten engaged, gossip from the flower market, about the weather, the balls you attended. From the letters alone, he would have figured you were doing perfectly fine.

What he hadn’t expected was to have your sister answer the door and look at him as though he’d grown a second head.

“My parents aren’t here,” you informed before he could greet you, earning a huff from him.

“Sorry for uh… for paying such an unexpected visit, but… I was wondering if I could see your sister?”

Your sister thought to you, lying in bed grieving the loss of a future she dreamed of, wondering if the viscount’s presence here would put an end to that grief.

“She’s… sick.”

Jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed, “Sick? With what?”

“Heartbreak, I suppose,” your sister replied tersely, giving him a pointed stare, unsure what to make of Jaehyun’s intentions.

Jaehyun’s eyebrows lifted, his thoughts immediately going to Yuta and feeling himself start to bubble with the same rage and concern that brought him here. Most of all, love.

“You can stay here, I’ll check if she’s willing to see you,” she spoke, still eyeing him cautiously as she led Jaehyun into the house, stopping him at the stairwell as she made her way to your room.

“Sister,” she knocked on the door, opening it and peeping her head in, whispering harshly with wild eyes, “The viscount is here!”

Your head snapped up from your pillow abruptly, only to fall back onto your pillow in immediate regret as it throbbed and pounded. Your headache was torturing you, but for Jaehyun, you supposed you were willing to brave through it.

“Okay. He can come up, but you have to stay in the room with us,” you said as firmly as you could.

Your sister hummed, turning to leave the room.

“Not unless he requests a private audience…” she murmured lowly, earning a glare from you (futile as it was, since she’d already left the room).

Jaehyun was more than impatient to see you, but the sight of you tucked under the covers of your bed, a cloth and small basin next to your bedside and the cold sweat on your face made his heart ache.

He wasn’t sure how to place himself as he entered the room, choosing to stand in front of the side of your bed you were facing, his lips curling ever so slightly in amusement when you had turned your body to face away from him.

“What happened to you?” his voice came out almost breathless, with traces of exasperation.

You didn’t want to open your eyes and look at him, you didn’t think your resolve would last if you could see the look of concern and frustration on his face he held now.

“Nothing,” you murmured. So much for ‘using your words’.

“Stress,” your sister cut in, earning a sigh from Jaehyun.

“I came because… I wanted to warn you,” Jaehyun almost winced, his words not coming out how he’d planned.

“ To warn me? ” your tone was strong even in your weakness, “not because you promised you would come back?”

Jaehyun shook his head, “I… look, you can’t go ahead with the engagement with Mr Nakamoto.”

You frowned.

“And what makes you think you can tell me what to do about my future?”

Jaehyun was growing frustrated now, “I’m not, but even if I was, I wouldn’t be the first one telling you what to do with your future,” he said pointedly.

“Why are you meddling? I never asked you to get involved,” you felt like a stubborn child, but you were more upset at the fact that it was him of all people, advising you not to marry Yuta.

You supposed that was what you wanted when you’d sent him that letter, but a very belated form of it, showing up in front of you now.

“My apologies, I did not ask for your permission,” he scoffed, “that isn’t the issue here, Ms Y/L/N, you cannot proceed with this engagement.”

“Perhaps your warning would be of more use if you’d sent it sooner in a letter,” you huffed.

You knew this was the sulky side of you speaking now, but it was the truth. Did he think he could simply waltz into your bedroom after months of silence, tell you not to marry the man you were engaged to and expect you to comply graciously?

“I don’t need your help with my marriage.”

“Marriage?”

Your sister wanted to avert her gaze, the tension in the room growing thicker by the minute, but it was impossible to look away, with the viscount looking unlike she could ever imagine seeing him. Desperate, frustrated, emotional . Nothing like anyone knew him to be.

“We’re already engaged,” you murmured, as if reluctant to solidify the truth by speaking it into existence.

“Besides, like I said. If I needed your… interference—”

“Help,” he corrected, earning an eye roll from you (not that he could see it, your eyes still being closed).

“Fine, help. If I needed it, I would have asked.”

“Is help only given when it is needed?”

You huffed, the bubbling of frustration within your chest growing stronger as you called to mind your emotions for the past few months.

“It definitely seems to be otherwise when it’s coming from you. Needed or not, I’d rather not have your help at all,” you forced your eyes open, immediately regretting it when you turned your head to meet his gaze.

Desperate, frustrated, emotional.

“You don’t mean that, I’m trying to warn you. You don’t know what kind of man he truly is.”

"Consider me warned,” your gaze was as firm as you could muster, not finding any reason to withdraw when it came to Jaehyun. This was yourself, in all that you were feeling.

“Don't patronise me. You don’t know what he’s capable of.” You almost faltered, almost . A small nagging fear started to creep up on you, telling you that you’ve made a grave mistake with Yuta.

“And you do?” you asked, slowly shifting yourself so you could see him better, unsure if you were being spiteful or curious now, maybe both.

“Better than you, it seems,” he huffed, taking a step closer to your bed, your sister pressing herself against the wall as if that would help the tension in the room, shifting her weight from foot to foot as she watched the dynamic between you and Jaehyun unfold.

It was nothing compared to how she saw you and Yuta interact, but something about this was interesting. It was like the both of you were simply hiding behind your true feelings, masking it with frustration and beating around the bush, focusing on unimportant details because you were both too afraid to be the first one to reveal your heart.

“And where is this understanding coming from?"

Jaehyun visibly hesitated, sighing before he told you the truth, "Johnny and I saw him when we were travelling."

“Johnny?” you frowned, “Oh, you mean the marquess that dares not show his face in this town?”

Again, the focus on unnecessary details to prolong the time before you had to finally face up to what you really wanted to hear and say.

“His title is not who he is,” was all Jaehyun could muster, feeling the tension in the room as he continued to hold your gaze.

“And by that same logic, I can say you don’t know my partner any better than I do,” you shrugged, the words sounding unfamiliar even as you said it.

That seemed to strike a nerve with Jaehyun, his tone rising slightly in his urgency and frustration.

“Would you stop calling him that? He’s not going to come back! You know why—?”

“What would you rather me call him then? My husband-to-be ?”

“—he’s too busy conning and cheating people like your parents in other towns for money now. Your family is going to be left in debt because of that man.” Though Jaehyun wasn’t shouting, his tone was filled with such urgency, such firmness, that he might as well have been. The implication of his words echoed louder than anything, louder than the sound of your heart picking up speed.

Your silence spoke for you, feeling as though a large wave had just washed over you and pulled you under. Your heart continued to thump quickly as you struggled to regain your bearings, as you struggled to gain control over yourself. Only one thought rang in your head, your mother had already given Yuta your dowry before he disappeared.

You glanced at your sister, her debut would need to be delayed now. Your family couldn’t afford to muster up another dowry so soon, not when you hadn’t gotten married yet.

“Now do you understand why I needed to come and warn you?” his tone softened, and without realising he began to make his way closer to you, daring himself to look closely at you in your shock, processing what he was feeling at the sight of it. Which, at the moment, could only be described as wanting to pull you out from under the waves, to dive in and look for you so he could bring you to the surface.

“I cannot—” he stopped himself, shaking his head, “I will not watch you let yourself be humiliated, waiting for that… that liar ."

Something in your gaze was hurt, vulnerable as you looked at him, wondering how he could say such words with such confidence when he was the one you were waiting for this whole time.

“I am not a stranger to waiting, you of all people should know that very well,” you said.

Jaehyun’s expression softened, still brushing aside what he wanted to say to you, his thoughts focused on how you must be feeling to find out you’ve just been conned by your fiancé.

“Why do you think I came here?” he asked, and the reminder that his purpose here was to warn you and not for other reasons was a bitter pill to swallow, so this bitterness showed in your response.

“In hopes to annoy me to death, perhaps.”

At his lack of a response, you frowned, “…. Why aren’t you saying anything? I expected a witty remark by now.”

What you didn’t expect was for Jaehyun to sigh, something in his expression akin to tenderness, which didn’t make sense to you at the moment. But it was a very tenderness that you always wondered about, what he reserved it for, how it would show, how it would feel. It seems all of those questions were answered now as you looked at him.

“Where do you think that man is? Right now, while you’re in this condition. Where do you think this man that you’re set on marrying will be after hearing of your sickness?” His tongue peeked out to wet his lips, though even if your attention was momentarily diverted, nothing could tear it away from his gaze. As though he had a million things to say to you, hidden inside of him, and you were only catching glimpses of it through his eyes. Yet they still managed to be gleaming, twinkling, pulling you out from under the waves.

“Yet here you are… destroying yourself for somebody who is incapable of loving you in the way you deserve,” he spoke almost bitterly, and the (not so) little hope within you had begun to surface again. Courage to make your feelings known, and hope that they would be received.

Jaehyun let his gaze shift to the way your hand lay on top of your covers, holding the fabric close to yourself for some sense of comfort. It surprised him, the way he wished he could hold you, to embrace you in his own comfort. The thought came naturally to him, as if that was his body’s natural response, to want you to be able to receive that from him and for him to give his love and affection freely to you.

“I’m sorry, I know it must be a lot to process. He had me believing his act too, I… should’ve asked Johnny sooner, if I did then you would not have to face such grief now—”

“It’s not about him,” you spoke, hoping your voice wasn’t quivering with how you were on the brink of tears, frustrated that you couldn’t tell what he felt for you even now, but filled with hope that you were sure you couldn’t hold your feelings within you much longer, “it was never about waiting for him, or… grieving for the loss of him .”

Jaehyun fell silent, lips parted slightly in shock as he held your gaze, your pleading eyes meeting his.

“Do you really think all these months have been for that man?”

“I wrote to you endlessly ,” your frown deepened, the ache in your heart worsening when you saw the way Jaehyun’s gaze softened, moving closer to you but stopping himself with evident restraint before he could get too close, “even when I could barely move myself out of my room the only thought on my mind was that I needed my words to reach you somehow, I needed some part of me to reach you… somehow.”

Your vision blurred, making you blink harshly. The fact that you couldn’t see him clearly behind your tears disconcerted you, “What else was I supposed to think when I didn’t hear back? What other choice did I have?”

Jaehyun paused, remembering your sister’s presence in the room, deciding that now would be the time where he stops dancing around the reason why he truly came back to see you.

“May I…” he turned to face your sister, “have the honour of a private audience with your sister?”

Her eyes widened, fighting the smile that threatened to show on her face as she gave you a knowing look, averting her gaze as her hand came up to cover her mouth, nodding. Gesturing a hand to you, she already began leaving the room, “Of course, of course. By all means.”

“As much as you may think I hate you, or… am here to meddle in your life or annoy you… I don’t like seeing you like this. I do not wish to see you in pain,” he let out a sigh through his nose, taking another step closer to your bed, daring himself to take a seat next to your legs, his body moving naturally as though this was what it meant to simply allow himself to be. Like muscle memory.

You huffed, “I’ve always been good at masking it, I suppose.”

He shook his head, displeased, “Or nobody has bothered asking if you needed to be relieved.”

“I’m sorry I did not write back to you. I just… in retrospect now I realise it was foolish of me but… from all your letters I just assumed,” he brought a hand up to run through his hair in frustration, “I assumed you were perfectly fine with Yuta. I had no right coming back and disrupting that, as much as I wanted to.”

“Believe me, I wanted to,” he huffed, “and it surprised me because, well, it was strange. It felt like you were seeing me for who I was… as if I was known for more than my wealth, my appearance, for everything in myself that was not perfect. But with you, it wasn't a matter of having to try to earn love, but to re-learn what love is, what it feels like.”

Your throat felt dry, something about his honesty making the ache in your heart grow, feeling as though what you sought to satisfy this ache was within reach, yet still at a loss for what it was that you desired.

"I did not know how to convey that in my letters. No words were enough, nothing... nothing was quite satisfying enough in expressing what I wanted to say to you. The thought of hiding what I felt beneath enquiries about the weather or about Mr Nakamoto made me sick to my stomach. That kind of intimacy that I felt when I was with you... It scared me because it only made me wish for more. I didn't think it was what you wanted."

“I thought that I could just separate myself from the situation, to resolve it that way before it could hurt me, but it was only when I saw that man when I was with Johnny that I realised,” his gaze flickered between your eyes and his hands, returning to your eyes and meeting you with that same hope.

Hope that gleamed, twinkled, that was not rooted in fear but in love.

“You deserved more than him, the love that you allowed me to discover was very much possible… the love you deserve. It would hurt me more if I had to watch you forgo that for the sake of others.”

Use your words.

“What do you suppose is this love that I deserve?” you dared to ask, somehow the use of your words did not feel as manipulative as it always did, it did not feel like you were trying to hide behind them this time, but to let your heart be known through them.

Jaehyun remained firm, and this conviction was enough to make you feel like you were slowly being lifted up to the surface of the water, the light seeping through the water making your surroundings feel brighter.

“... a love that remains forever.”

You weren’t sure if you were breathing, feeling the water get lighter as you followed the light from his eyes.

“And you suppose that is within reach for me?” your voice was barely above a murmur.

Jaehyun nodded, the hint of desperation lingering in his tone, “I promise you, it is within reach.”

“You cannot promise me a forever and not give it to me.”

There was a hint of amusement in Jaehyun’s gaze, the slightest of smiles on his face at your response. He wished you would remain this way, unafraid to use your voice with him, unafraid to assert yourself, to allow him to see, know and love you for who you are.

“I would not have mentioned it if I were not ready to give it to you at this very moment.”

Your lips parted slightly, “How do you suppose you will do that?”

Jaehyun wore the tell-tale expression that let you know he thought of something that either pleased or amused him, as if waiting for the right timing to say his smart line with a smug tone.

“By… asking you to marry me.”

If you thought his eyes gleamed and twinkled before, the smile that he wore when he saw the sheer relief grace your features. The feeling of being pulled above the surface of the water.

“It’s not too much to ask, just… be with me. Depend on someone other than yourself for a change.”

“My Lord, you know—” you began, turning your head abruptly and immediately regretting your sudden movements, your head beginning to throb even more. Jaehyun shocked you with the way he adjusted your pillow, helping you to lower your head back down onto the pillow carefully, smoothing your hair away from where it stuck to your face from your cold sweat.

“I want you to,” he nodded.

It was strange, being told that someone wanted you to depend on them when you were always used to being the one who was depended on. Instead of promising you gold, he was promising you the warmth of it, the value of it. Not the ‘Midas touch’ that took life away from things, but one that brought light and hope.

You wanted this . Not your long, tedious game, but the life he was offering you, a life of love, love even in imperfection, love that brought with it rest, love that was a state and not something to earn.

You nodded, “I want to…” your body felt warm under his touch, your gaze following his movements as he picked up the cloth draped over the small basin next to your bedside, wringing the cloth after wetting it and using it to dab the sweat from your face and neck.

You felt as though you weren’t breathing, a wave of emotion rushing through you at the feeling of being under his care. It was as though he was removing the little bandage you used to cover the ache that you felt, replacing it with a bandage that fit, one that wrapped around the ache instead of just trying to suppress it.

“I want to marry you,” was all you could muster, Jaehyun letting out a huff of amusement as he set the cloth aside, his left hand moving to your face, letting the pads of his fingertips trace the side of your face before letting his thumb smooth over your cheek gently. It was unmistakable, the feel of the calluses on his fingertips from what you assumed was his recent playing of the violin.

“Does my presence have that much of an effect on you?” he drawled, smugness laced in his tone as he brought you back to your exchange in your father’s study. His gaze flickering to your lips just briefly, making your heart skip in a way you’d never experienced before.

You rolled your eyes with affection, this time not feeling the need to ‘use your words’ to hide once again.

“Perhaps it does.”

===

‘My forever only, Time and time again, I am reminded that I was foolish to think I could live the rest of my life without you when a day that passes by when I am not with you is filled with a longing I cannot imagine I could ever grow comfortable with, much less befriend.

Back then, I was used to being all alone. I found this solitude to be a companion, though loneliness is never a good lover. The sky gets ethereal for the things no longer living in chains. You allowed me to come to know what that truly meant, what it truly felt like. Love given freely is all I have to offer you, so I hope you’ll have me.

My love, I have not stopped thinking of the way you look at me, and each time I awake I find myself waiting for when I may be under your gaze again. The thought lingers before I am with you, filling me with an inexplicable feeling of love that refuses to leave even when we part. Forever sounds daunting but when I envision a forever of this love that you meet me with in your eyes, your smile, your presence, it becomes a boundless sea I wish to swim in for as long as my spirit exists.

All I ask of you, all I want is having you in my day. To keep you in safety, health, and love.

- J, your forever only.’

“Do you remember what was discussed?”

You were drawn from your thoughts, your sister handing you the bouquet of dark red roses as you started walking.

What did you discuss?

Right.

Be yourself. You felt the crunch of cobblestone beneath your feet as you made your way with your sister to the church. You are allowed to launch into unrelated discourses out of panic. You fixed your gloves so they fit comfortably around your hands and arms. Have good manners, unless provoked. You could hear your sister humming to the piano piece she’d been practising that morning. You are safe to express yourself. With the sound of her humming, the rustling of the big trees overhead and the wind caressing your face gently comforted you.

Reaching the doors of the chapel, you spotted your father who awaited you, though you couldn’t focus on anything else once the doors opened, your gaze immediately finding the man who stood at the altar, a smile adorning his face once he met your gaze. A wave of clarity washed over you; you felt peaceful.

There he was, not a marriage partner, not an economic proposer .

Jaehyun, your love match.

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nnon0 · 6 months

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WC: 19.8k Idol!jaehyun x Teacher!reader

jaehyun remembers the night he met you, and even after that one night he often thought of you and wished things would have been different, but by a weird twist of fate he gets to see you again, except this time... you're not alone.

Runway @wincore

WC: 18.7k Model!jaehyun x Fashion designer!reader

there are some things that come with dedicating your life to fashion: a taste for finer fabrics, a splash of love for art, and an appreciation of the human body. none of these are supposed to include the hottest model you have ever laid eyes on, or the fact that you completely, utterly hate his guts.

Christmas Puppy @smileysuh

WC: 11k Best friends brother/boy next door Jaehyun

“God, you’re so jealous,” you laugh. Your best friend’s brother doesn’t usually act this way, at his frat, everyone knows you’re his, no one would dare come near you- but here, in your hometown, surrounded by past crushes and would be romancables, it’s open season, and it’s clear that it’s making Jaehyun uncomfortable.

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diorcities · 2 years

Text

love, cafe

part one.

pairing: jaehyun x reader.

genre: suggestive, fluff? smut?

content: college au, friends to lovers, reader works in a café, jaehyun's kinda fuckboy.

“shit,” you muttered when you saw the big stain of coffee in your apron.

“everything's fine?” ask one of your colleagues, sneaking through your shoulder. “yeah, it's this stupid machine,” you answered, annoyed. “how does it look?” you asked for a little encouragement. “it matches your eyes,” she respond, jokingly. you let out a whimp. “don't be sulky about it. i'll cover your shift,” said. “i mean, it's the least i can do after you arranged a date for me with that hot classmate of yours,” added, “i thing he's going to ask me for a date.” a flirtatious back-and-forth move made you giggle. you smiled, pleased. “i'm happy you liked it,” answered. it was not hard at all.

you and yuno get along with each other. you and him are in same career at college. meeting at lunch at twelve o'clock, and found each other in the library late at night. he also frequented the cafe, mad late. ordering the same thing, always: an almond croissant with caramel latte. with a massive book open, and a laptop, in instance glaring to his phone, as he was waiting for someone to call him, but never comes. then he leave, at midnight, because he loose track of time and never leave when he should.

when you heard one of the pastry chef calling for an order of a almond croissant and a caramel latte, you know it's for him. but your apron is dirty with coffee stains and your hair is probably a mess after fervently carving the pot with butter cream in the sink, so you just decided to stay in the kitchen and help the pastry chef with his orders.

you ended up advancing notes for tomorrow's class on one of the tables, because it's monday night and the cafe doesn't get too much clients late at night on mondays. and later that night, your shift finish. there's no one at the cafe, and your colleague left a couple minutes ago, leaving you her task to closed the store, staying a little longer as you finished your essay. you're were tired that you didn't even change your working clothes and leave the cafe straight away with your stained apron, dreaming about binge a serie after a warm bath.

your thoughts stopped abruptly, along with your steps when your eyes met his figure, his gaze captured your eyes at last second, leaving you speechless. “yn.” “what...?” areyoudoinghere. “you always go home this late?” he asked, glaring inside the cafe. you almost nodded.

“yuno,” called him, not expecting him to be there. his deep gaze landed on you, and you couldn't not shiver. “you scared me for a moment,” confessed, laughing nervously. he seemed to catch the question dancing in your lips, when he said “i wanted to make sure you were ok.” frowning “you didn't came out with the others.”

“i was supposed to close the store,” you said, waking pass him. “wait... the others,” you repeated. “danho. what happened?” you asked, “your date,” added, stopping your walk and turning to face him. he was following you all along. his feet stopped a few meters away from you. his height towering you, as you tilted your head a little. “she felt sick all of a sudden, so she went home,” answered.

“then, why you're here?” you asked, confused.

“i was waiting, for you”.

you sighed, feeling bitter as you fell into realization of the rumors. they were always true. as much as you wished they weren't. you didn't want to believe that the guy you met at lunch in the library and it was nice to you was actually a heart hunter, that could never be satisfied.

“so your date went home and now you're waiting for me,” you scoffed.

“yn...”

“stop,” you said, your hands covered your face as a mechanism for escape from his eyes. “don't.”

“i...”

“why you always do that?” you asked, catching him out of guard. “you chase, you use, you dump,” you looked at him. “as if people are desechable to you, as if you don't care they have feelings you could break.” the rumors, the bloody rumors through the campus. you didn't wanted to believe them. the whispers in the corridors, the rumors about jung yoonoh. about his dates. his conquests, his endless list of broken hearts. were you, the next victim?

“i'm not doing this, yuno,” you finally said, faced him. determined. but in the inside fearing he could hear your heart breaking.

you felt his touch in your hand, soft. almost noticeable. and when you looked at him, he hesitated as he wasn't sure what to do, or say. “i do care,” he whispered. “i care because you care,” added, making you look at him with confusion. “that's why i told her...” the dark haired boy stared at you, mesmerized. “i told her i couldn't take her out on a date, because i want to go on a date with you, if you let me.”

“i come here because of you. and i go to the library at noon because i know you go at that hour. i do everything to please you,” he confess. “even taking out someone to a date because you ask me to”. you bite your lips. you could feel bad for making him doing all those things he didn't wanted to do, but his voice was full of tender, and his body was very close to yours, that without warning, your foreheads found each other. your eyes closed to the touch. an electric shock shot down your limbs. his thumb rubbing your hand, slowly.

“you're always on my mind, it's almost ridiculous,” murmured, so low, almost imperceptible. a soft laugh vibrating in his throat. “you're killing me. tell me something, even if it's just to hate me,” he asked, with a low voice.

you put a hand in his chest to create distance between you and him, tilting your head up, looking for his eyes, already founding yours.

you could say sorry. you could say that little deep inside you wanted to change place with danho, because yohno seemed to like her more than he likes you. but instead, your hand went to his cheek, brushing it, softly. and his eyes seemed to melt when he looked at you. those horrible things people said behind his back, they couldn't be true. not when all you can saw in his eyes it's the bright of a million fireworks burning inside. and you didn't mind burning in them.

your lips captured the dark haired boy in a furious kiss. full of emotions. full of something that you couldn't label, but was so beautiful, so indescribable, incomprehensible, that you let it burn everything, you let it spread all over your senses, floating, dying. everything could collapse, it could destroy everything, after all, now it belonged to him, the way he belonged to you. his heart, beating under your palm, warm, fast, alive. and your all self, melting at his touch. is this how everyone felt about him? the way that you could give him your heart, knowing he was gonna break it? and not caring at all?

you gasp for air, feeling the palpable adrenaline between your bodies. what did it feel a lifetime if only a few minutes had passed?.

“it's mad late,” you remembered, “we have class tomorrow morning.”

“mhmm...” he mumbled, “should we go home then?” he suggested, but when you looked at him, with a smile dancing in his lips, you knew it wasn't your home he was referring to.

“should we?”

correct me any grammar or misspelled, it's midnight, i'm writing with an eye open bc this thing it's been on my mind it's almost crazy. enjoy.

masterlist

#nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct au #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fic #jaehyun scenarios #jung yoonoh #jaehyun fluff #nct fluff #nct angst #jaehyun angst #m:jaehyun #♡jaehyun

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127luvr · 2 years

Text

Try again

Jung Jaehyun x Male Reader

In which Jaehyun is the most enthralling person you’ve ever come across

It’s dark.

The only overheard lighting you could spot were the red and orange orbs that hung just below the ceiling. It created a nice ambiance around the lounge; stating indirectly that all eyes should fall on the well lit stage that the two-seater tables were faced towards.

You stood by the entrance for a second too long—looking back and forth between the booth all the way towards the back of the venue and the last table right in the front on it’s lonesome. You decide on the latter, wanting instead to see the performers closer rather than straining your eyes. You cringe at the leg of the chair scraping against the wooden floors, bowing your head slightly towards the people who had glanced up at the sudden noise.

“First time here?” The waiter doesn’t wait for an answer, he is quick to place your cup of water—with a side of lemon—on the dark green coaster. You watch as he dashed from table to table, letting the corners of your lips form a frown as you were left to tell no one that yes, in fact, it was your first time in a jazz lounge.

The acts come and go, the only acknowledgment of the singers changing after one or two songs were from the band.

The drums start up again slowly, the only sound coming from them was the tapping of cymbals. A slow introduction is played, immediately you knew the band was familiar with this particular act—the way they all instinctively placed their hands on their instruments waiting for the starting cue. A new voice spoke out into the crowd.

“I wrote this song not too long ago.” You knew immediately that he had no need for the vintage microphone in front of him as his voice carried all the way to back on it’s own. It was like music to your ears. You couldn’t help but follow him with your eyes, watching as he placed his hands on the mic and nodded his head towards the band.

His singing voice was rich. Like pure chocolate being folded into egg whites for a perfect chocolate mousse. You were glad you chose the front table, eyes glued to the performer’s never changing face. He sang with such ease as if all he were doing was speaking to a crowd. Was he aware of how beautiful his voice was?

How rare it was to come across a voice as soulful and velvety as his?

You started the round of applause that followed his performance, going so far as to stand right in front of him.

Finally, he looked down at you from the stage, covering his eyes from the harsh spotlight on him. He held eye contact with you, offering a wink before he bowed respectfully towards the rest of the applauding customers. He turned to the band, presenting them with his arm before walking off the stage and into the venue.

He felt your eyes following him even as he pulled out the empty chair sat in front of you.

“My name is Jaehyun.” Jaehyun. Even his name was like a song on his lips. “What’s yours?”

#jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #jaehyun x male reader #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct x male reader #nct 127 x male reader #nct u x male reader #x male reader #non idol au #<3

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mymoodwriting · 2 years

Photo

4.4k, aliens, space travel, advanced technology, colonization, kidnapping, dogs, asphyxiation, drugs, abuse, physical abuse, assault, manipulation

{The Start}

“So this is Earth…”

You stared out the window to the planet below you with wide eyes. You had seen many others before, but knowing you’d actually set foot on the surface of this one was exciting. The ship was preparing to descend, and you knew that meant you had to check over the gear soon. This planet and your home world shared similarities, but the atmosphere wasn’t breathable, so exploring required safety precautions.

“Y/n!”

“I’m coming!”

Doyoung was with you in the equipment deck, examining the gear to make sure it was safe to use and step outside the ship with. The suits themselves were up to code, and all the tanks were accounted for and intact. Doyoung had you suit up, wanting to test things out within the safety of the ship. He calibrated your suit, making sure you could breath okay, and that you could see and hear him alright. He led you through some quick tests, and confirmed everything was good.

“Okay, all systems green.”

“I’m so excited.”

“Ah, look at you.” Yuta said as he entered the deck. “All ready to go exploring.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna stay on the ship?”

“Awe, come on. I wanna explore and help. It wouldn’t be fair if I had to stay behind.”

“It would be important for someone to stay behind and watch us.”

“I guess…”

“There’s no need for that.” Taeyong added, entering the deck with the rest. “We can all go. Just promise me you won’t wander off too far, okay?”

“Promise.”

“Good girl. Alright, Doyoung, we good?”

“Everything is green. So you’re all cleared to suit up.”

“You heard him everyone. We’ll be landing in five so let’s be ready to move by then.”

While the others geared up you and Doyoung went down to the hanger and you immediately went over to the nearest window, seeing as the ground below got closer and closer. You were breathing heavily against your helmet that it started to fog up, Doyoung having to tell you to steady your breathing and calm down. As you got closer to landing you had to strap in for safety in case things didn’t go smoothly, but thankfully they did. You were the first at the hanger door, excited for it to open.

“No wandering off.” Taeyong reminded.

“I know.”

Of course you were the first off the ship, stepping foot on Earth. You were giddy with excitement, running and jumping around.

“This is so cool! And the gravity here is what we are used to. It’s perfect.”

“Except for the atmosphere.” Johnny commented. “But we’ll fix that.”

“You didn’t say we were terraforming the planet.”

“We’re not.” Jaehyun assured. “It’s more like saving it… an upgrade actually. Remember?”

“Hm… the cubes we have with us promote fast plant growth, which would revitalize the dying plant life of this world. Although doesn’t that mean nature would overtake the planet? What about the animals? The… humans…”

“Do you see any humans around?”

“No…”

“When we arrived, the inhabitants of this planet were quite hostile.” Haechan said. “Things got complicated and for the most part, they destroyed themselves.”

“I bet I could have helped…”

“I was not going to wake you up from cryo-sleep to try and negotiate with those creatures.” Taeyong stated. “Things are better this way.”

“But there are still humans alive, aren’t there?”

“Yes. These humans can be resilient, but never really achieved space travel.” Doyoung said. “It’s kinda sad, but perhaps this is for the best.”

“But aren’t-”

“Y/n, we’re not terraforming the planet.” Johnny repeated. “The chemical compound we are introducing is to promote plant growth. The only change is that we’ll be increasing the overall oxygen levels of the planet, something more suitable for us. The humans here will be fine. Once everything is done, we can properly start over with the remaining inhabitants.”

“Okay.”

“We should get started.” Jungwoo stated. “I’ll call over the drones.”

“Good idea.” Taeyong said. “It won’t be an easy process, but we need to get started. At least enough to have a proper base here.”

You said you’d help, but really there wasn’t much for you to do. The drones marched off the ship, spreading out in a proper formation and beginning to expose the nearby plant life to your chemical compound. For a while you watched the work, the white drones that looked like you, but were plain and plastic looking, dropping cubes and seeing how the green took over everything nearby. It was beautiful, but you also wanted to see the remains of the planet. As you started walking around, Mark joined you.

“What are we exploring?”

“I’m not sure. I kinda just want to see what remains of this planet, before we revive it.”

“There is a lot of beauty in what’s left behind.”

“Exactly.”

“Then let’s go, but we can’t go too far from the others.”

“I know.”

The ship had landed in a clearing, but not too far from civilization as you could see the remnants of some buildings. You and Mark made your way over, seeing what all these buildings once were. After a while though, Mark was called back. You still wanted to look around, and begged Mark to let you stay. He eventually agreed, and told you to come back on your own in a few minutes. That was your intention, but you wound up with an opportunity you couldn’t pass up.

“Is that…”

You thought your eyes were playing tricks on you, but as you slowly approached, you realized the blob was exactly what had come to mind, a canine. When you got closer the creature scurried away, and without thinking you followed after it.

“Come here! Come here, I won’t hurt you.”

You followed the creature down some steps to some underground area. It had stopped at the bottom steps, and you managed to reach it. You knelt down, gently petting it. You couldn’t believe you were interacting with something from this planet.

“Good, good… I’ve read a lot about you. They call you man’s best friend. You’re said to be a great pet, I believe they call your kind dogs. I can’t believe I get to meet you. How have you survived on your own? I wonder what happened to your own… owner…”

Now that you could think, babbling about your own knowledge, you realized this creature might not be alone. You quickly got up, heading up the stairs, realizing you needed to get back to the others immediately. As you reached the top steps you were suddenly met with some huge object swung at you. It caused you to stumble back, ultimately tripping down the steps. You desperately tried to stop yourself, but wound up rolling down, coming to a halt when you were on even ground. You immediately began to examine your suit, seeing that your communications were damaged, but most importantly, your helmet was cracked.

“Shit, shit, shit…”

You tried to pick yourself up, but your body felt sore from the fall you had just endured. You were panicking, and cursing yourself out for going off by yourself despite being told many times not to wander off. Amidst your own struggles you suddenly found yourself being lifted up, held up by two others. Your vision was a bit clouded by the glitches in your systems, as well as the crack, but you were aware that a good number of individuals were in front of you. When one reached out and grabbed your helmet you began to scream and squirm. It was cracked, but you were still okay, if your helmet was completely removed you knew you’d be in trouble.

They didn’t listen though, holding you still and managing to get it off you. Despite your intentions you inhaled sharply, and started breathing rapidly. Your suit was going off with sounds of system failure, and you were freaking out. You had no idea how much time you had before it became very hard to breathe, but you needed to calm yourself down first if you were going to come up with some plan. Once your helmet was off those holding you let you go. They all surrounded you, but you were more focused on your breathing, looking around for your helmet as well.

When you calmed yourself down, you could think, but most of all you could see those around you. Taeyong had informed you that the inhabitants of the planet looked similar to you, but had a different genetic makeup, they were in his words, inferior to you. In the moment you felt that was you and not them. You noticed one of them was holding your helmet, and you tried to reach for it but they held it away. You were trying not to panic, but it eventually hit. You were breathing just fine, you didn’t feel any strain in your chest. In fact you felt completely normal, but when you checked your suit, it told you that the atmosphere levels weren’t safe for you. It didn’t make sense, but you didn’t get to dwell on it long.

“Y/n?”

“Huh?”

When you heard your name, for a second you thought your boys found you, but instead an unfamiliar voice had called you. One of the humans stepped towards you, bending down to meet your eyes.

“Y/n… is that really you?”

“How… how do you know my name?”

“It’s me… YangYang… don’t you remember?”

“Uh… I don’t…”

“You know one of these invaders.” Another spoke. “How is that possible?”

“Y/n’s not one of those aliens! She was with me in my old group… and we lost her…”

“Then how is she here?”

“I don’t know… y/n… what happened to you?”

“I don’t… I don’t understand what’s going on…”

“Sir, we can’t stay here.” A third spoke. “We need to go before we are discovered.”

“Agreed.”

“What about y/n?” YangYang questioned. “We can’t just leave them here.”

“We can’t take them.”

“She’s one of us. Those things took her and did who knows what. I can’t leave her.”

“We don’t have time for this.”

“Please. If she was with them we could get some answers.”

“…”

“Please.”

“Fine. Get her out of that suit and let’s move.”

“Wait, don’t-”

You didn’t get a say in the matter as you were stripped out of your suit and dragged along. You had no idea what was going on, but you knew if the others found your empty suit they’d be worried sick about you. Despite your attempts to fight, you were still weak from your injury, and couldn’t escape. With that possibility gone you tried to think about the situation you were in. These humans had attacked you, and were now taking you captive. Even if you were being brave, you were scared, and very confused.

You were dragged deeper underground, through some tunnels. It was very dark down there, except for the light provided by some fire. You had no idea where you were, or where you were going. Eventually you came to some huge metal door, a specific knock given before it slowly opened. You were brought in, although the humans on the other side were immediately questioning your presence. YangYang once again said you were one of them, but when others explained how you were found, his words seemed pointless.

“Examine her.”

“What?”

“Y/n is human.” YangYang proclaimed. “Examine her, you’ll see what I mean.”

You thought to protest, not knowing what this exam entailed, but you were in no position to do so. Your hands wound up tied together behind your back, and you were forced to sit down. Another human came over, starting whatever this exam was. They flashed a light in your eyes, pressing something cold against your skin and listening. You soon enough recognized this to be a medical examination, something you had done before with Yuta. Although when they pricked your finger you yelled.

“She bleeds red.”

“I told you.”

“That doesn’t mean much. We know nothing of the invading species. Just those white space suits, that apparently she… it? Was in.”

“She. Y/n is human. I grew up with her, we stuck together when everything went to shit.”

“We have no way-”

“She has a birthmark on her left shoulder, looks like a small splash of paint with two bolts of lighting going down.”

You were perplexed by the knowledge this human had of you. Yuta had pointed out that mark on you before, calling it a birthmark as well. The examiner checked your shoulder, others checked as well.

“What did you say happened to… her?”

“I’m not entirely sure. We were out scavenging when she radioed in that she was compromised. That was months ago. I thought she was dead…”

“…”

“This is her. I would never forget her face.”

“But she doesn’t know you.”

“Those things must have messed with her memory.”

“She was compromised. They took her.” Someone spoke. “It could be incredibly dangerous to have her here now.”

“I’ll look after her.” YangYang volunteered. “Please, she’s not the enemy.”

“She stays locked up though.”

YangYang couldn’t argue with that, so he followed your escort to a prison cell. It wasn’t a real one, some makeshift one they had down here, but it would work. Your hands remained tied though. So now all you could do was figure out a plan, that is if this boy would ever stop talking to you.

“You really don’t remember me… do you?”

“How do you know my name?”

“I’ve known you since you were five.”

“I’m not human. You’re mistaken.”

“They really fucked with your head.”

“They did no such thing.”

“Are you sure?”

“I… my people have the technology to-”

“Y/n, please. I know you’re in there, you have to remember.”

“I am not who you think.”

“I thought I lost you forever. My heart broke when you said you were compromised because I knew what that meant. I desperately wanted to go after you, but I was held back. I found you again after all these months, by some miracle. Please, you have to remember.”

“I am not who you think I am! I don’t know how you knew about my shoulder but-”

“Your mother always said that was a tear stain from a past life. That you were a shoulder to cry on for many.”

“Stop talking to me.”

“Come on, something has to be off in your memories. No way they could just change everything.”

“Shut up.”

“You know I’m right. Deep down you know what I’m saying makes sense.”

“I get it. You lost your friend, and I look like them, but I am-”

“Y/n, don’t do this to me.”

YangYang opened your cell, stalking up to you. If you hadn’t already been sitting against the wall you would have moved back, but he had you pinned. He reached behind your back and freed your hands, grabbing your shoulders.

“I know it’s you. I’d recognize those eyes no matter how much time passed.”

“I-”

The boy leaned in close, pressing his lips against yours. Your eyes went wide in shock, unsure what to make of his actions. He didn’t stop, pulling you closer, and making you feel strange. He held your head, his fingers stumbling upon the back of your neck, feeling a strange metal. He quickly pulled you forward, wanting to get a better look at whatever it was.

“Y/n… what the hell did they do to you…”

“What are you-”

His fingers running along your neck sent shivers down your spine, but it suddenly brought on a headache too. You shoved him away, grabbing your head. His voice was calling to you, but you could barely hear him. Your vision began to blur, images flashing before your eyes faster than you could comprehend. You didn’t know when you started screaming, but YangYang was holding you.

“It’s going to be okay… you’re going to be okay… I’m not leaving you…”

You had no idea how long this went on for, but things started to calm down. Your headache was subsiding, and the things you had seen were starting to make sense. Well, they were clear, as for sense, you weren’t sure they had any of that. You remembered being with Taeyong and staring down at the planet Earth, although he said something was wrong with you. Then you remembered going to Doyoung after nightmares, and having a talk with Jaehyun that seemed off. There were so many things that didn’t make sense. Although what really hit was the familiarity you felt looking up at the boy that was holding you.

“YangYang…”

“Hey… do you remember me?”

“What’s happening…”

“I don’t know… I’m just happy to have you back.”

“I… I was gone…”

“Do you remember what happened?”

“I… I’m not sure I know…”

“That’s okay. One thing at a time. We can just-”

“We need to tell the others.”

“Huh?”

“What the aliens are doing.”

“You… you know what they want?”

“I… kinda? They’re gonna change the planet so it’s livable for them.”

“They’re gonna terraform the planet!”

“No, not exactly. They’re just gonna revitalize nature, increasing oxygen levels… but something… there’s something else…”

“What?”

“I don’t know… but something feels wrong.”

“You can think on that first before we-”

“No, I don’t think we have that much time.” You managed to get up. “They’re already changing things and-”

You were making your way out of the cell when you suddenly stopped. For a second you floated in limbo, everything was fine, and then you inhaled sharply. You couldn’t breathe. You collapsed to your knees, gasping for air, but it wasn’t enough.

“Y/n! Y/n, what’s happening!”

“Ah… air… I can’t…”

“Air? Uh… we are far underground…”

“Can’t… breathe…”

“I… I know a way above ground, please hold on.”

YangYang got you on his back, running through the tunnels. Your vision was fading in and out, but you were trying to remain conscious. You had no idea what was happening to you, but all you could do now was focus on staying awake. You thought the darkness would take you when light suddenly filled your vision. YangYang collapsed to the ground with you, the both of you now on the surface. You inhaled deeply, getting more air, but it wasn’t quite enough. Every breath you took was deep, and you were trying not to panic.

“Y/n, y/n, are you okay? Can you breathe?”

“I… I don’t… I can’t… it… hurts…”

“Easy, easy, deep breaths. We’ll figure this out, we’ll-”

You saw something fly over YangYang’s head, hearing it hit the ground ahead of you. YangYang had been looking down at you, but when he heard the sound he looked up. You couldn’t see what he was looking at, but you could watch him as his eyes went wide, and his grip on you got tight. Out of the corner of your eye you suddenly saw a vibrant green color spreading around and growing. You quickly knew what it was, your eyes growing wide. You tried to focus your breathing, so you could warn YangYang, but you could see his eyes growing weary. Before you knew it he collapsed at your side, unconscious. You got up and shook him, but he was completely unresponsive. That’s when you realized you were fine now, your breathing had stabilized, and you were back to normal.

“What the…”

You heard footsteps approaching, looking over to see white figures getting close to you. The scene caused a similar image to flash before you, also giving you the context. You remembered seeing a white figure like this before, holding a weapon aimed at you. It was when you had been captured all those months ago. You were paralyzed as all this information mixed together. Taeyong, the others, they had done something to your memories. You weren’t one of them, you were a human they had taken.

“Y/n, are you okay?”

While you were processing everything, one of the white suits knelt down before you. They removed their helmet and you saw Taeyong. He reached out to touch you but you flinched, still holding onto YangYang.

“You… who… what are you… what did you do to me…”

“Ah…” Taeyong lowered his hand. “I see your memories have been distorted.”

“You… what did you do to me!”

“Easy. Let’s just get you back to the ship and-”

“Stay away from me!”

You moved back, partially dragging YangYang with you. Your brain was still trying to make sense of everything, but you knew you couldn’t trust Taeyong or any of the others. You noticed that more of the green was growing, allowing the others to remove their helmets as well.

“Y/n, we worried when your suit reported a problem.” Doyoung said. “And then we found you were gone.”

“We need to get you back on the ship.” Jaehyun added. “We can’t have you out here like this.”

“I’m sorry, this is my fault.” Mark admitted. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

“You… you’re all liars…”

“Y/n-”

“Don’t! You… you kidnapped me… and messed with my head… I don’t… I don’t know what’s happening…”

“We’re not going to hurt you.” Doyoung assured. “We’d never do that.”

“No, no you did… whatever you did to me… I remember… Yuta taking my blood… Johnny with me in the garden… you were all…”

“What do you remember?” Taeyong asked. “What’s running through your mind?”

“… you… you attacked my planet… you destroyed… everything… you abducted my people for… for what…”

“We were actually watching this planet for a long while before we made our presence known.” Jungwoo commented. “Deciding whether a peaceful approach was a good idea or not.”

“Spoiler.” Haechan chuckled. “It wasn’t.”

“Wa… what? How could you just-”

“We took plenty of humans beforehand.” Yuta continued. “Sifted through their memories to see what this planet was like. A real mess I’d say.”

“No, no, there are good people! You can’t just-”

“We know.” Johnny interrupted. “We found you after all.”

“But… but that was after… you destroyed…”

“It’s for the best, don’t you think?”

“No… no… no, you messed with my head, I can’t-”

“We just collected your memories dear. For research.” Jaehyun explained. “It’s easier to do that when we distract your consciousness, but you’d eventually find something wrong with our distractions every time.”

“So all those moments…”

“From what we gathered, you lived a nice life, made us wonder what you’d be like with us.”

“So you-”

“We didn’t mess with your head.” Haechan stated. “We just put something else in. Way less complicated.”

“That’s not… you’re monsters… my home-”

“It’s not really your home anymore.”

“What?”

“Haven’t you noticed yet?” Taeyong questioned. “We didn’t change any of your memories, just buried them, but we did change you. From the start you were promising for research, but also suitable for us.”

“… what…”

“I have some of my people in cryo-sleep, but since humans were similar in genetic makeup, we realized we could assimilate some of them.”

“No… no you didn’t…” You looked down at yourself. “You didn’t…”

“Your body is still changing, thankfully we found you in time to help.”

“Change me back!”

“Now why would we do that? Look at that little creature you’re holding onto.”

“What did you do to him!”

“Nothing, I swear.”

“Liar.”

“It’s the plant life.” Johnny explained. “The plants have regrown, but they also release a new chemical into the atmosphere. It’s completely harmless to us, but it makes humans lose consciousness. They’ll get used to it eventually, but they’d remain in a weak, susceptible, state going forward.”

“So you lied about negotiating with what was left of humanity. This is a hostile takeover.”

“We’re saving this planet.” Taeyong said. “Thanks to us it will thrive. By saving you, I save me.”

“You’re not saving me… I didn’t ask for this!”

“But you’re deserving.”

“I don’t want this! Change me back! I won’t live by your side and-”

“It’s too late for that.”

You suddenly felt a pain in the back of your neck, quickly reaching up to it. You felt that metal piece again, remembering you discovered it when you were inside that pod. You didn’t know what it was, but you figured it wasn’t a good thing if Taeyong’s eyes were glowing and you were in pain.

“We should have left you in your containment unit until things were further along. Apologies for all the complications.”

“Sta… stop it…”

“This won’t happen again. I promise.”

Taeyong got up and walked over to you. He stared down at you with a kind smile, removing one of his gloves. You had vague recollections of what their touch could do to you, but you were helpless to stop him. You could only watch as he knelt down in front of you, pulling your hand down.

“Sweet dreams.”

Taeyong leaned over and kissed your head as his fingers brushed against the back of your neck. You collapsed in his arms, the tension from before leaving you, allowing you to relax in his embrace. He carefully picked you up, making sure you were alright, his eyes back to normal.

“Can we get her back to the ship like this?”

“We’ve made a path.” Doyoung said. “So she’ll be alright.”

“Let’s go then.”

“What about the human?”

“Not our problem right now.”

They all returned to the ship, a few getting out of their suits, but Taeyong remained in his as he got you over to the lab, setting you back inside your pod. He properly strapped you in, making sure the connection was restored before closing you in.

“Fix her memories and then move her down to the cargo hull into her cryo-pod.”

“It’s my fault.” Mark began again. “If I hadn’t-”

“It was a risk having her out with us at such an early phase.” Yuta stated. “Something like this could have happened regardless.”

“How long until we can actually wake her up?” Jungwoo asked.

“A lot needs to be done before then.” Taeyong reminded. “Just be patient. You can run her through some simulations again if you miss her that much.”

“Can we?”

“Just don’t over do it. We’ll have her back eventually. When the time is right.”

26 notes · View notes

smileysuh · 4 years

Text

Team Captain: Frat!Jaehyun

🌙 staring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader

🔮 synopsis. Jaehyun is a notorious lady killer. He’s captain of the soccer team and everyone on campus wants him… except for you, Yuta’s best friend. A camping trip featuring some of the rowdiest members of the frat ends in drinks and a game of truth or dare, there’s laughs, horny men, and way too much pining to be healthy, just another day with NCT House.

cw/ tw. lots of shenanigans in the frat, lots of dirty talk, finger sucking, Haechan exposing secrets, semi-exhibitionist/public sex, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), switch x dom(switch)power dynamic, multiple orgasms, choking, biting, pet names, etc…

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 14.2k

🍭 aus. frat, crack, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. find the rest of my frat universe here

“Yuta!”

Jaehyun will never get used to hearing his friend's name on your lips. And he’ll never get used to the site of you running across the soccer field after a home match win, to embrace Nakamoto Fucking Yuta, eyes not once looking in Jaehyun’s direction.

Jaehyun is the team captain, and had scored two goals, but you wouldn’t even give him the time of day.

Later, at the frat where they celebrate big wins, Jaehyun’s eyes always seem to find you and follow, even when he doesn’t mean for them to. But there’s one thing Jaehyun can be certain of, and that’s the fact that he’ll never get caught. Because you don’t look at him once.

Something over Jaehyun’s shoulder catches Yuta’s attention, and before any of them can stop him, their resident anime prince frat brother is hopping out of his seat and taking off across the cafeteria area to envelop you in a hug that screams ‘i’m comforting you’.

“What’s their problem today?” Haechan grumbles, annoyed that he just lost Yuta, who he’d been trying to convince for over an hour to be his partner for an assignment where Haechan had made it clear he wanted to do zero work.

“I think she had a test or something.” Mark answers, nose buried in a book.

“What are you even reading?” Johnny is disinterested in what you and Yuta are doing, conspiring across the caf like a little Bonnie and Clyde duo. Instead, he wonders why his best friend spends so much time studying when he’s just a music theory major.

“It’s a book.”

“No duh.” Johnny rolls his eyes.

Jaehyun blocks out his friends, eyes glued to you and Yuta. If Mark is right, and you had a test, then it doesn’t look like it went too well. You’re clinging to Yuta while in line to get coffee, and the midfielder is saying something to you, his head tucked down close to your own.

Yuta is swaying you back and forth, and then, as your eyes scan the cafeteria over his shoulder, they land on Jaehyun.

For a moment, the soccer team captain’s world stops. The lurching of his heart in his chest brings him back to reality, his gaze shifting to Johnny, who has now apprehended Mark’s textbook.

Jaehyun tries to act nonchalant, but in his mind, sirens are going off.

You’d looked at him.

You’d caught him watching you.

“This book makes no sense.” Johnny groans, setting Mark’s textbook back down for him. “No wonder you spend so much time in the library.”

“I heard there’s a cute girl in the library he goes to look at but never talk to.” Yuta’s mocking tone takes over as he grabs his bag. He’d left his things but now it looks as if he’s ditching them too. Jaehyun looks around the cafeteria and finds you standing by the doors leading outside.

Your arms are crossed over your chest and you’re watching him with narrowed eyes.

He’s been caught again, and Jaehyun forces his eyes to go to Mark’s book on the table while chaos erupts around him,

“There’s a cute girl at the library?!” Johnny inquires, looking scandalized by the notion. “Well Mark! You never told us!”

Yuta leaves devastation in his wake, joining you by the doors. Jaehyun looks up only when he’s sure that both of you have your backs to him. He can’t help but watch the way Yuta throws an arm over your shoulders, dragging you to his side to say something to you.

“When do you think those two are finally going to start dating?” Jaehyun asks suddenly, drawing the attention off of Mark, who’s very grateful for the new question.

“Yuta and Y/N?” Johnny narrows his eyes, sipping his iced coffee, “I think they’re just friends.”

“Didn’t they try to fuck at a party and it was weird?” Haechan offers.

“Did they?” Mark’s confusion is too real to be fake, and as Yuta’s roommate, Jaehyun’s inclined to think Mark would have the most information on this. “No I think they just kissed during a game of truth or dare that one time.”

This is news to Jaehyun.

“You guys play truth or dare?” Johnny verbalizes Jaehyun’s thoughts, and together, the two of them look down at Mark and Haechan.

“Not often, but we were really drunk after the winter formal.” Haechan explains, “and you were with some girl in our room so I had to go hang out with Mark and Yuta.”

Jaehyun turns away from the conversation, he has the information he needs. Mark seems to think you and Yuta are just friends, and for some reason, this provides a bit of comfort for Jaehyun.

He supposes one of the biggest reasons he’s never approached you is out of fear of Yuta. He worries Yuta likes you and will be pissed at him if he makes a move, but he also worries that even just as your friend, Yuta won’t want Jaehyun, of all people, to be the one hitting on you.

Jaehyun knows he has a reputation, and he knows that it's his own fault. But his reputation has never gotten in the way of a conquest before. No, the main obstacle here is simply Yuta knowing Jaehyun well enough to be weary.

Jaehyun doesn’t blame him.

Jaehyun is all but tackled to the ground by his team mates after he scores the winning goal in the last five minutes of the soccer game. As he celebrates, and the university cheerleaders do their routine, Jaehyun’s eyes seek you out in the crowd.

You’re sitting with Mark, Haechan and a few other frat brothers, who are sporting team colours. Jaehyun also sees Shotaro, Yuta’s new pledge little brother, sitting next to you.

Jaehyun’s body tingles with endorphins, excited about winning and being supported by his family. The last seconds go by and the whistle blows to signal the end of the match.

Yuta comes bounding over, his arm slinging around Jaehyun as they head towards the benches for water. “Nice goal.”

“Thanks, you too.” Jaehyun nods. Yuta had scored coming right out of half time.

“Hey are you coming to movie night?”

“Hmm?” Jaehyun picks up a water bottle to drink from, eying Yuta with confusion.

“I know we usually do movies on Wednesdays at the theatre, but Mark wants to watch some space movie, and I think he mentioned it to a few people.”

“Never mentioned it to me.” Jaehyun says, smoothing a hand through his hair. His eyes shift past Yuta, and he watches the crowd dispersing.

“Well, we’re making popcorn-”

“If you guys light the kitchen on fire again-”

“That was Haechan who lit the kitchen on fire not me,” Yuta insists immediately, “and who can mess up microwave popcorn? All you have to do is hit one button and boom, the rest is done.”

Much to Jaehyun and Yuta’s dismay, Lucas turns out to be the person who is able to mess up microwave popcorn.

The massive ‘resident himbo’ gives it an honest attempt, placing the bag in the microwave and hitting the popcorn button- somehow it got messy after that. Jaehyun’s not sure if Lucas hit the button twice or what- but five minutes later, Mark was sniffing the air and Lucas was bellowing “I forgot about the popcorn!”

At least it wasn’t on fire… yet.

The first bag was scrapped, and Jaehyun was left to watch the microwave while a new popcorn bag popped to fruition.

He watches the living room from the kitchen. There’s quite a few people moseying around. Johnny, Taeil and Haechan are on one couch, Yuta, Mark and you on another. Lucas, Shotaro and Taeyong have all been given floor seating, and they’re leaning back against the couches and chatting.

“I didn’t think your goal would go in.” Johnny is admitting, “sometimes you kick the ball too high and it goes straight over the goalpost.”

“I’d like to see you do better.” Yuta crosses his arms over his chest defiantly. Johnny’s okay at soccer, but everyone knows he prefers to be a goalie rather than an actual player like Yuta and Jaehyun.

“Jaehyun’s goal was really nice.” Taeyong quips from the floor.

“It was!” Haechan agrees quickly, “and from all the way outside of the box?!”

Jaehyun smiles from where he’s standing. He tries not to be too obvious about it, but the captain of the soccer team lives for attention and words of affirmation. What makes it even better is the fact that you’re sitting there. And you had to have seen his goal first hand, right?

“His goal three games ago, against, who was it, the huskies? That was a good goal.” your voice joins in on the conversation and Jaehyun feels his mouth go dry, “remember? Right before half time, Yuta had crossed the ball after making a left wing run and Jaehyun headed it in?” There are some sounds of affirmation, people agreeing that they remember. “That was his best goal so far this season.”

For some reason, Jaehyun’s shocked you remember his goals.

Wait- you like soccer?

You’re not just showing up to cheer on Yuta? You actually watch?

Oh no.

You’d been sexy enough as it was being disinterested in him and simply being Yuta’s hot, unattainable, best friend- but you’re actually into the sport too? Jaehyun nearly groans at the new information, instead opting to lick his lips and turn to look at the microwave. Each pop of the popcorn has a sort of violence to it, and Jaehyun allows this to distract him from the emotions bubbling up inside of him.

He can feel his skin heating with energy, and Jaehyun is a little scared his ears are still tinged red when he finally carries the bowls of popcorn into the living room. There’s a space on the floor for him to sit next to Taeyong in front of the couch that’s sitting you, Mark and Yuta. This will put him by Yuta’s feet, and when Jaehyun sits down, he’s way too aware of the fact that you’re tucked into Yuta’s side right behind him.

He catches a whiff of your scent this close. You’re around so often, that he’s brushed by the tantalizing smell a number of times. It’s as if your perfume enjoys lingering in a hallway you’ve just walked down at a party, just waiting for Jaehyun to come along and be hit with that sensory dejavu, the knowledge that you had been here in the recent past, but he’d just missed you- now the smell is all encompassing, and it’s not going away either.

Jaehyun sits rigidly, hyper aware of your close proximity, for the majority of the first half of the movie. He can’t help the way his skin reacts to you, tingling with anticipation. Or the way his lungs attempt to breathe in your scent over and over again, without being too obvious about it.

Half way through the movie, you move behind him, then the bowl of popcorn appears over Jaehyun’s shoulder.

You don’t say anything to Jaehyun, in fact, when he turns to look at you, the eye contact is brief. You look at him for only a moment, then your attention moves back to the tv. Jaehyun accepts the popcorn without a word, although he quickly gives it up to Taeyong.

When the movie is over, a few guys get up to stretch, Jaehyun joining them. His joint crack with effort and Jaehyun adjusts his arm, enjoying the slight pain that shoots up his limb. “I need to go to the gym.” Lucas groans next to him, not even hiding the pleasure derived from stretching. Sometimes Lucas lets out the most obscene sounds- and he’s so innocent, with his big puppy eyes- that no one can blame Lucas for turning literally any situation into a sexual one with his odd sounds.

“Me too.” Jaehyun agrees.

“We’ll head out with you guys,” Yuta says. His favourite burger place is right next door to the gym that they all work out at, and he’d promised you earlier to get food after the movie.

“Bring me back a bacon burger.” Mark perks up, knowing immediately where you and Yuta are headed.

“Come with us.” Yuta suggests.

“I have to study.” Mark insists.

“You just watched a whole movie, Mark.” Johnny smirks at Mark’s lame excuse. “I’m sure you have time to walk five minutes to get a burger.”

“Yeah, well now I have to get back to studying, and it’s cold out.” Mark pouts.

Jaehyun rolls his eyes at Mark but doesn’t get into the fight. Instead, he simply throws his hood up. He’s dressed in comfy clothes, and he had a game today, so he won’t work out too hard at the gym, maybe just a bit of stretching and muscle toning.

Your group slowly dissipates until it’s just you, Lucas, Yuta and Jaehyun at the front door. Lucas pulls on a big jacket and looks down at you, “are you cold?” he asks, noting the way the air is nipping at your skin through the open doorway, “wear this.” he hands you a random jacket that's in the closet, and it isn’t until you’ve pulled it on that Jaehyun pleasantly realizes it’s his hoodie.

Lucas and you head outside first, and Jaehyun allows himself some time to simply enjoy the visual of you in his hoodie. Say what you want about the massive frat boy from Hong-Kong, but Jaehyun enjoys having him around... sometimes.

Jaehyun supposes he’s seen you around so often that he should know a few things about you. But other than knowing that you’re extremely gorgeous, are best friends with Yuta, and seemingly uninterested in becoming better friends with him, Jaehyun doesn’t know much about you. The way you chat with Lucas makes Jaehyun think maybe the two of you are closer friends than he realized, but then again, Lucas becomes quick friends with just about anyone who pops up on his radar, especially pretty girls like yourself.

“Aren't you tired from the game?” Yuta’s voice draws Jaehyun’s attention away from you and Lucas.

“A little.” Jaehyun answers, “i won't work out too hard at the gym.”

Yuta nods, “you could always come get burgers with us.”

“Thanks for the invite but I think I’ll pass.”

“How come you never hang out with me anymore.” Yuta says playfully, but Jaehyun knows it’s a legitimate question.

“You’re always with Y/N.”

“So? I invite you to come to things with us.”

“It would feel like I was date crashing, besides, she doesn’t seem to like me that much.”

“First, you’re not date crashing.” Yuta rolls his eyes, “and second, you’ve literally never talked to her before, she just has a resting bitch face.”

“She doesn’t have a resting bitch face when Lucas is around.” Jaehyun points out.

“Yeah because he dicks her down every once in a while.”

Scratch what Jaehyun thought earlier, he hates having Lucas around.

“Since when have they been fucking?” Jaehyun can’t help the way that his tone betrays him. His skin tingles with anger, and Jaehyun has to resist the jealousy that threatens to turn him into a green monster.

“Not long.” Yuta answers.

“And you’re okay with it?”

“Of course,” Yuta laughs, “she’s my best friend, I want her to get laid as much as she wants.”

Jaehyun can’t believe what he’s hearing. This whole time… Yuta hadn’t been against you dating or sleeping with his friends?

“But why Lucas?” Jaehyun asks.

Yuta shrugs, “why not Lucas? Aw, Jae, are you jealous?” His mocking tone sets Jaehyun’s teeth on edge, and when Yuta looks over at his friend, he realizes he’s hit the nail on the head, and his expression drops. “No, Jae, are you seriously jealous? You literally have your pick of any girl on campus-”

In fact, Jaehyun’s been through his fair share of hot girls on campus already. From dating the head cheerleader to casually sleeping with an english major who wrote poetry about Jaehyun’s dimples- well, he’s definitely been around, and there’s no question that Jung Jaehyun can get any girl he wants.

But then why can’t he have you?

“Yuta!?” you’ve arrived at the gym, so you turn and look back at the two men trailing behind you, eyes landing on your best friend, “are we going on the camping trip next weekend?”

“Are we going on the camping trip next weekend?” Yuta reiterates your words, “Us? You and me? Camping?”

“It will be fun.” Lucas laughs.

“Who’s idea was it to even go?” Yuta grimaces.

“I think maybe Johnny suggested it.” Jaehyun offers. The tall Chicago native is always suggesting weird excursions and group activities, as if having a trivia night and a movie night isn’t already time spent together enough as it is. “Look,” Jaehyun’s eyes watch you and Lucas hug goodbye at the entrance to the Gym you’ve arrived at, Lucas’s grip a little too tight, and lasting a little too long for Jaehyun’s liking. “If you miss hanging out with me, come camping next weekend,” he says to Yuta, “it will be fun.”

“And Kun will be there.” Taeil had said when they’d dragged him into their coach’s office as if to prove he was a capable elder to supervise the notorious soccer stars from NCT House on a weekend hiking trip.

With Yuta, (the midfielder and part time anime prince), and Jaehyun, (team captain and notorious charmer), their coach wasn’t satisfied for the safety of two younger members of the team and frat, Jeno (who, honestly, would be just fine), and Sungchan, their newest transfer student.

At the mention of Kun’s name, their coach’s shoulders had relaxed. Kun has a reputation too, but unlike Yuta’s, his is actually a good one. Kun is a pre med student, very bright, and friends with many professors. “If he’s there,” the coach sighs, “I guess you guys can go, but don't go rolling your ankles or forgetting to stretch.”

The group is quick to accept and scurry from the building before he can change his mind.

“Kun’s not coming though is he?” Jaehyun clarifies when they get outside.

“Nope.” Taeil says, having just lied to their coach’s face. “But he’ll give me a tutorial on youtube to watch before we go about basic medicine or some shit. That should be enough.”

“Who else is coming?” Jaehyun asks, turning to look at Jeno, who, out of them all, pays the most attention when elders speak.

“Us five,” Jeno says, “Johnny-”

“Y/N coming.” Yuta states.

“What? No she’s not, it's a boy's trip, Johnny said so. No girlfriends.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Yuta shoves Jeno’s shoulder, “she’s coming.”

“Johnny said-”

“Who else.” Jaehyun interrupts Jeno’s whining.

“Us, Johnny, Y/N,” Jeno begrudgingly says your name, “and I think that's it.”

Jaehyun lets out a thankful breath, glad that one more name wasn't added to Jeno’s list.

“Wait,” Sungchan’s quiet voice draws the most attention, “Lucas too.”

Of course Lucas looks gorgeous in the mornings. Jaehyun can’t fucking believe it. He can’t believe how this kid is up at six am, looking all big in the kitchen, and accepting coffee from you- damn, you look good too, but Lucas-

Jaehyun wants to smack himself, so instead he collapses onto the couch, away from view. Someone will wake him at the last possible second and he can roll onto the ground and shuffle to the car, you’ll be too focused on Lucas to even notice or care anyways.

“Lucas, stop.” Your laugh makes Jaehyun perk up a little. Neither you nor Lucas had noticed him almost walk in on your little ‘domestic time’, and he supposes neither of you noticed him go to the couch either. He’s in the perfect position to watch the events unfold.

“No one’s around.” Lucas says, his morning voice low and sexy. Jaehyun almost smacks himself, again.

“They will be soon. And I told you, I’m done with that.”

Jaehyun swallows thickly at your words, body frozen. He’s afraid to even breath, afraid to make the smallest sound to muffle what you or Lucas say next.

“Why?” Lucas groans, and Jaehyun feels anger bubbling within him. Lucas should be backing off, in Jaehyun’s eyes anyways, but when he pokes his head over the side of the couch, he sees how close Lucas is standing to you, your hand on his chest. It looks intimate, you don’t look mad, his anger subsides... slightly.

“Because.”

“Because?”

“Because i’m not interested in being anything more than your fuck buddy.”

“Then be my fuck buddy some more.”

“I don’t want to be.” You tap him gently on the chest and pull away from him, leaving Lucas standing there in shock. Jaehyun is hardly able to tuck himself away back on the couch and get out of sight before you’re walking past the piece of furniture hiding his form and heading up the stairs. A minute later, you return with Johnny, and Jaehyun remains unnoticed.

He lays there, wallowing in the pleasant satisfaction of the moment he’d just witnessed, a grin on his face. Once the kitchen is more full of people, Jaehyun stands up, joining the swath seamlessly-

But you notice him.

You notice where he was laying, obscured by the couch, and you put two and two together. You stay close to the sides of the walls, watching Jaehyun as he moves around. He chats with Johnny for a while, and Yuta comes to join you, leaning against your shoulder while munching on a muffin.

Jaehyun looks at you once while you’re watching him, only to quickly avert his eyes, his ears turning a cute shade of pink that you could get used to.

Then, everyone heads outside. Johnny managed to get together two cars through inner frat bribery. With four people per car, and coolers, tents, duffle bags and the like, things are a little packed once you are all inside your vehicles.

You get into the back of a car with Yuta, Johnny grabbing the driver's seat. But what surprises you is Jaehyun taking the space right in front of you, and his brief hesitation the moment he sits down makes you think he’s realized how vulnerable he’ll be with his back to you the entire road trip.

“I feel bad for Taeil.” Johnny laughs as he pulls out of the driveway. Taeil watches you go, and you all wave at him. He has Lucas in the front seat, and the proportions look very odd, with poor, massive, Sungchan and Jeno in the back.

You guess there’s enough space, but you feel bad for the atmosphere. Taeil has truly become the soccer team’s designated babysitter, and Jaehyun has abandoned him.

You turn your eyes to the back of Jaehyun’s head. He’s looking down at Johnny’s phone to find the Road Trip Playlist.

“Oooh but is it a ‘country roads’ type road trip playlist?” Johnny asks enthusiastically, “or is this more of a like, ‘into the woods’ broadway musical, or ‘highway to hell’ rock n’ roll-”

“Maybe just the radio for now.” Jaehyun says, having already disconnected Johnny’s phone.

You giggle at his antics and Jaehyun sits back, but he doesn’t relax. You’re sure he can feel your eyes on him.

You’re not certain why you have this morbid fascination with playing with Jaehyun in this way. Keeping a good view on him just seems smart, almost as if he’s a predator, or perhaps just another soul, equal to you. Either way, you see him as someone to be watchful of. Something about him is resonating with you, and you like the challenge in it.

You wonder if he can feel your gaze on him, if it makes him uncomfortable. Then you realize you don’t really care. After all, he’s been staring at you for years.

You noticed Jung Jaehyun at the first party during your first year at university. Already friends with Yuta, you were invited into the frat inner circle immediately. Jaehyun had been doing beer pong that night, a little crown on top of his head. He’d been drunk, and had a girl under each arm.

That was the scene that convinced you Jaehyun wasn’t the kind of guy who needed your time or attention.

Being Yuta’s best friend means you’re around the NCT House a lot, but it’s easy enough to avoid Jaehyun. He’s a busy guy, as far as you can see.

But lately, Yuta’s been talking more about Jaehyun and how he’s pulling away in their friendship. Jaehyun ‘never comes to hang out’, Yuta insists. You’ve realized that Jaehyun probably doesn’t come around because of you.

You keep out of Jaehyun’s way and he keeps out of yours. That’s always been your policy with Jaehyun, and it seems to be one you’ve mutually non verbally agreed upon. But now he’s stepping on Yuta’s toes by pulling back in their friendship, and you’ve found yourself noticing how often he stares at you.

You’ve felt it, for sure- his eyes- but you’ve learned to tune them out, especially with all the stories that go around about Jaehyun.

But now, you want Yuta and Jaehyun to be friends again, and it’s obvious Jaehyun is open to it, he's with you this weekend after all. He dragged half his fucking soccer team on this trip, so either the poor guy is hopelessly in love with you, or he’s a better friend to Yuta than you thought, and cares about making this a fun trip.

Maybe you underestimated Jung Jaehyun.

“Who’s in the big tent?” You ask as you and Yuta set up your smaller tent for two.

“The soccer team.” Yuta answers.

“But not you.”

“Not me. You get me all to yourself.” He winks. “And then Johnny and Taeil in the other smaller one.” he nods to the tent that his elders have already set up in record time.

As soon as you’d arrived at the campsite, Johnny had assigned tasks. “Y/N, Yuta, you guys deal with your tent.” He’d announced. “Taeil and I will set up the other two, and you guys,” he’d looked to the four men standing there, “get firewood or something, when we’re done this we’ll go on a hike-”

“A hike?” Yuta had groaned next to you.

“You are aware you came on a camping trip right?”

“I came for the lake.” Yuta responded, rolling his eyes and scoffing.

“You two can turn around when we get to the midpoint, and then come back and make dinner so when we finish the whole hike there will be food.” Johnny had said with a wave of his hand.

You have to admit, you enjoy Johnny being in charge. He has everything planned out, and it’s nice to kind of just roll with things. You and Yuta diligently follow through with building your tent, and a while later, you’re on the hiking trail.

The athletes had fallen into a formation at the mouth of the trail, Johnny taking the front, and you’d done your best to find your place in line like Taeil had. As Lucas stretched, looking like he was about to run a marathon, Jaehyun had taken up the rear, and you’d realized that maybe he had an odd captain duty to be the last man in their hike line, to support stragglers… which turn out to be you and Yuta.

“Come on.” Jaehyun pushes Yuta’s back when the anime prince starts to walk slower on the fifth incline of your hike.

“I’m tired.” Yuta groans. “Let’s take a water break.”

Jaehyun looks ahead of you and Yuta, seeing that the next person in your line, Jeno, is quite a ways ahead. Jaehyun sighs. “Yeah, we can stop and have some water.”

He’s carrying a backpack, and you watch the way his muscles move under his skin when he removes it. He’s in a shirt that exposes his shoulders and arms, making it a bit difficult to look at him without your body reacting to the visual that your eyes are more than enthusiastic to take in.

Jaehyun removes a water bottle and holds it out to Yuta. Taking his time to drink and look around, Yuta passes you the water next. Jaehyun is also enjoying the nature and doesn’t even realize you have the bottle until his eyes are glued to your lips, which are just kissing the edge of the water bottle.

The moment is ruined by Yuta, who has quickly reached out to knock the bottom of the bottle, causing water to splash all over you. You cough, a massive smile on your face as you laugh. You thrust the water bottle at Jaehyun’s chest before pushing at Yuta playfully, he catches your hands and pulls you to him, spinning you around and pinning you while you both laugh.

“Jae?!” Jeno’s voice draws your group's attention. The man must have jogged back to look for you when you hadn’t been in eyesight for a while. His eyes assess your situation, staying for a moment on your chest. Your shirt is drenched with water, and it’s sticking to your skin.

Jaehyun unwraps the flannel from his waist and holds it out to you “You might get cold.” He says. You both know it’s not the reason he’s offering you his shirt.

“Let’s go, Johnny wants to get to the peak by seven.” Jeno says, turning and heading back up the trail quickly.

Jaehyun laughs and shakes his head at Jeno’s energy. He watches you and Yuta start up the path, this time though, Yuta’s not between you and Jaehyun. Instead, he has a great view of your ass. the soccer team captain smiles to himself, and takes a sip of what’s left of the water, enjoying the fact that, if even for a moment, your lips may have been on the same surface.

He put the water bottle away and within a minute he had caught up to you and Yuta. You reach a section with steps leading up, and as you start going up them, you stop. You turn and catch Jaehyun’s eye, making the kind of face that says ‘don’t stare at my butt’, but Jaehyun guesses you don’t want to verbally say anything in front of Yuta.

He tries to not look at your butt the rest of the hike.

He doesn’t do so well.

At the halfway mark on the trail, you and Yuta turn around to head back and make dinner. Once you’re sure you’re out of earshot of any members of your group, you say; “So, I kinda rejected Lucas this morning.”

“What? Why?” Yuta laughs.

You shrug, “I don't know. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.”

“Oh no, not you thinking.”

“Stop teasing me, I’m serious.” You grin at your best friend, who is lumbering ahead of you down the path.

“Ok ok, what have you been thinking about?”

“I think i keep seeing all your friends get girlfriends.” You sigh. “First, a bunch of your friends set up a powerpoint to auction off frat members to their girl friend. And then Haechan gets with that chick he was always fighting at Trivia Tuesday? And now i hear even Mark has a thing for someone, Mark!”

“It sucks to be single sometimes.” Yuta agrees solemnly. He’s too far ahead of you for you to get a good look at his face so you can’t tell what he’s feeling.

“Yuta, when we get back to the city, I’m going to find you a girlfriend.”

“That sounds really sad.” He laughs.

“I’m serious.”

“Well then, I guess I’ll have to return the favour and find you a boyfriend.”

“God, no.”

“Too late, I’m a feminist and I’m all about equality. Equal opportunity to hook each other up.”

You help Yuta with the basics of food prep, and then he tells you to head to the communal showers in the center of the camp ground so you can be ‘fresh’ and take over cooking, so he can go shower next. Yuta has a specific way he wants to cook the meal, and assures you that when you get back the instructions will be simple.

The communal shower is okay… for a campground. There is a woman and mens side, so there will be no worries about run ins with your camp mates. It feels good to know you’re completely alone. This is a safe campground, so you’re not worried, and you shower quickly, ignoring the cool water.

You throw on a sweater and some night sweatpants over pyjamas, with thick sleeping socks. You’re worried it will be cold, and you’re prepared for the worst. You hurry back to the camp site, passing Lucas and Jeno on the way, who salut you, then go back to chatting about… Tenalice? Whatever that is.

At the campsite, you’re greeted by Yuta, Sungchan and Jaehyun. A moment later Johnny comes jogging up the dirt road your car came in on, a towel around his body soaking wet body.

Taeil is walking fast behind him, laughing. “He jumped in the lake!”

“And now I need a shower!” Johnny screams, running past you towards the showers. You note his lips are turning blue and it makes you giggle.

Taeil stops briefly at the campsite, and you watch him exchange a hiking bag for a shower one, then he comes over to those of you setting up chairs around the fire. “Anyone coming to the showers?”

“Me.” Yuta has pulled the cooking pot off the fire. “You guys can eat some now, but don't leave the lid off or it will get cold and I’ll have to kill you.”

“Yeah yeah.” You wave your hand, used to Yuta’s specifications on his ramen and keeping it at the perfect temperature.

Taeil heads off with Yuta, Sungchan jogging to catch up to them in the direction of the showers.

You turn to look at Jaehyun, who has pulled up a chair next to the fire. He’s wearing a jacket, the evening air already becoming nippy as the sun begins to go low in the sky. The soccer star sits on the fold up chair as if it were a throne, relaxing back and taking a deep breath. “You hungry?”

“Hmm?”

Jaehyun motions towards the pot with his chin. Taken off the fire by Yuta, the food now sits in it’s warm little space on a table by the fire.

“Oh.” You consider his words. “Maybe. Aren’t you going to shower?”

“Didn’t want to leave you here alone.” Jaehyun says, leaning forward to pick up a mug and chopsticks combo next to the pot that you think you saw Sungchan setting up for everyone.

“So... you’re going to eat now?” You clarify.

“If you eat, I’ll eat with you. If you don’t,” he shrugs his broad shoulders, “then I guess i’ll sit here with you instead.”

You smile at him, laughing a little at how easy he’s making everything. You sit down in the chair across from his. “I guess ramen, one on one with the captain of the soccer team, isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

Jaehyun shakes his head at your words. “You really know how to keep me humble, huh?”

“Someone has to.” You smirk, watching as he fills a cup with food and offers it to you. “Thanks.”

“What do you mean ‘someone has to’?” Jaehyun laughs as he gets his own noodles ready.

“I mean, everyone worships the ground you walk on. It’s important for someone to keep you humble sometimes.”

“People don’t worship the ground I walk on.”

You roll your eyes, “then what do you call your army of ex girlfriends?”

“I call them a bunch of talented, intelligent, respectable women who just didn’t work out.”

“Well I call them your devotees.” You scoff.

“Maybe I’m just a good boyfriend.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Out of all the girls you’ve been seeing since you got to uni, what’s the longest relationship you’ve been in?”

“Maybe two months?”

“You’ve got a reputation for being good at something Jung Jaehyun, and it’s not being a boyfriend, I can tell you that much.”

“I never knew you cared so much about my reputation.”

“I don’t.”

“Ok, well, what about your reputation?” Jaehyun asks, relaxing back into his foldable camping chair, looking happy with his ramen, dimples on show.

“I don’t have a reputation.”

“Sure you don’t.”

You narrow your eyes at Jaehyun, “I don't.”

“Okay.”

“Do you want to fight?”

“No.”

“Well then tell me what you’ve heard.” You push at his chair with your foot.

“Just that you’re a bit of a man eater.”

“I am not.”

“A heart breaker then.”

“No way.”

“Lucas seemed pretty broken up this morning.” Jaehyun smirks mischievously at you from over his mug of ramen.

“Well-” before you can defend yourself, or maybe even attack Jaehyun for totally eavesdropping from the couch, (you’d had your suspicions he’d been there the whole time but this confirms it), laughter tells you that your friends are approaching.

“Food!” Lucas and Jeno are jogging towards you now, eyes fixed on the pot of ramen. They jostle each other to reach the mugs first and when your eyes drift to Jaehyun, who is still grinning (dimpled cheeks looking very bread-like, if that’s such a think) you see that he’s won this conversation. Technically.

But this isn’t over, and you still have the rest of the night and tomorrow to make Jaehyun eat his words. He has the wrong idea about you, and you’ll prove it.

It’s just getting dark when a familiar car pulls up to the campsite. Mark and Haechan hop out of the vehicle, Haechan brandishing two beer bottles and screaming “surprise bitches, we brought booze!”

After a brief explanation for them choosing to come on the trip last minute, Haechan convinces Johnny to build the small tent the two had brought to share in return for beer, and soon you’re all sitting at the campfire.

When things are nice and dark, Haechan pulls out a massive bag of marshmallows, hoarding them between him and Mark, who, to be fair, seem to be the only two who are super interested in the idea of roasting s’mores.

“HAECHAN!” Mark screams when his friend grabs his arm and forces it down, causing Mark’s nearly perfectly golden marshmallow to erupt into flames.

The mischievous frat boy simply laughs his ass off at Mark’s face as he inspects the ruined marshmallow after hastily blowing it out. “I dare you to eat it.” Haechan challenges.

You have to admit, having these two crash your camp night makes it a lot more fun.

“Kun says not to eat burnt marshmallows because the carbon is bad for you.” Taeil’s soft voice comes from their other side.

“Yeah but you’re here to watch the wellbeing of the athletes, not Mark.” Haechan points out, “Mark, you’ve never even smoked a cigarette, just eat it.”

“Dude, no.” Mark protests.

“Truth or dare.”

“Haechan, how stupid do you think Mark is?” Johnny laughs at the antics of his younger friends, “if he says dare, you’re just going to make him eat the marshmallow.”

“Truth.” Mark says, nodding to what Johnny’s just pointed out.

“Are you sure you want a truth?” Haechan narrows his eyes at Mark, who begins to squirm under pressure. “Are you sure you want me to ask you a truth?”

Everyone looks between Mark and Haechan, men falling silent due to the new ferocity of the conversation. Haechan is threatening Mark with exposure.

“You know what?” Mark sighs. “Fuck you.” He puts the burnt marshmallow in his mouth, grimacing a little at the taste of it. Swallowing dramatically, “Haechan, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to also eat a burnt marshmallow.”

“Okay.” Haechan takes Mark’s roasting stick and pulls a marshmallow out of the bag sitting between them, placing it on the skewer and then thrusting it into the fire. Instead of pulling it out immediately when it lights, Haechan allows the food to simply burn for a few moments until it’s a black, charred, unrecognizable thing at the end of his stick.

Once the flames are out, Haechan lets it cool, then pulls it from the stick, plopping it in his mouth and chewing obnoxiously, mouth open, directly in Mark’s face.

“Taeil,” Haechan turns his attention to their eldest friend when he’s done eating, “truth or dare.”

“Truth.” Taeil says, trusting Haechan more than Mark does, evidently, to not expose him with a horribly personal question.

“When was the last time you got fucked?”

Taeil’s skin immediately flushes pink, visible in the light from the fire, and you all laugh at his shyness. Taeil plays with the strings attached to the hood of his jacket, pulling them back and forth and hiding more of his face with the fabric as the hole gets smaller, “a while.” He responds quietly.

“Huh?” Haechan leads forward. “What was that?”

“A while!” Taeil says louder, deciding the best way out of this mess is by throwing someone new under the bus. “But Jaehyun hasn’t been fucked in ages either!”

“What!?” Johnny screeches, turning to look at one of his best friends in shock. “That can’t be true.”

“Jae?!” Lucas laughs loudly, “Jae is fucking twenty four seven!”

At least one person is confident in Jaehyun’s ability to hit on women. Jaehyun laughs a little but stays quiet, hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket. It becomes obvious that everyone is waiting for him to say something, to confirm or deny. “It’s not my turn.” Jaehyun points out.

“Jaehyun,” Taeil rolls his eyes, “truth or dare.”

“Dare.” Jaehyun smirks to himself when a few people let out massive groans. He’s dodged a bullet… or so he thinks.

“I dare you to be a hundred percent truthful, and tell us why you’re not fucking around with girls anymore.” Taeil says, crossing his arms over his chest.

Johnny lets out a whistle at Taeil’s genius, all eyes moving back to Jaehyun, expecting an answer.

“Come on, Jae.” Your taunting voice comes from where you’re cuddled up on one chair with Yuta, a blanket covering most of your bodies. “Tell us why the notorious lady killer is taking a break, or we might start to think you’ve lost your game.”

Yuta snickers under you, and the pair of you stare down Jaehyun, who had never realized just how much of a power friendship the two of you have. He is cracking under the pressure of your gaze, and the soccer star forces his eyes to move to Taeil, who had been the one to ask the question.

“Honestly?” Jaehyun sighs.

“It’s TRUTH or dare, you slut! Answer honestly!” Haechan tosses an empty beer can at Jaehyun who easily knocks it out of the air- sending it right into Sungchan’s lap.

“Yah!” Taeil is on his feet in an instant, “no throwing things,” he rushes over to Sungchan, “are you alright?” He checks to be sure, although it’s obvious the can hadn’t hurt the tall, soft, boy. Taeil sighs. “I’m not looking to get my ass kicked by your coach for letting the newest player get hurt.” He warns, going back to his seat and narrowing his eyes at Haechan, who is giggling but holding his hands up as if to say ‘i won’t do it again’, which seems to be enough of a promise for the eldest ‘babysitter’ at the fire.

“Jaehyun’s lost his game.” Yuta says loudly enough for everyone to hear, although he makes it seem like he meant for it to be a comment only to you.

“No, I just like someone.” Jaehyun’s voice is loud, and it makes everyone stop what they’re doing to look at him.

“You like someone?” Johnny blinks. “First Mark didn’t tell us about his crush on that library girl, and now this? Am I really spending that much time away from the frat with my girlfriend that no one wants to talk to me anymore?”

“Who is she?” Haechan asks while Mark assures Johnny that none of them know anything about what Jaehyun is talking about. They’re all in the dark, and this tells you that Jaehyun is being honest.

“I answered the question, you don’t get two truths.” Jaehyun states, “Jeno, truth or dare?”

The younger man is looking at Jaehyun with a curious expression, as if he’s reassessing everything he knows about his hyung, who he’s always looked up to as a role model… not only for his soccer skills but also his ability to pull any woman he wants. “Uh, dare.”

“Run to the lake and back, you look like you have too much energy.”

Jeno groans and Lucas laughs, causing his team mate to harshly say, “truth or dare, Lucas?”

“Dare!”

“Run down to the lake with me. Naked.”

Lucas stands up and begins to undo his jacket.

“Wait-” Taeil stands too, “it’s cold-”

“They’ll be fine.” Johnny says, “I jumped in the lake earlier.”

“Yeah but-”

“Jaehyun gave the dare, and he’s our team captain, so he has authority.” Yuta says from under you, tightening his hold around your warm body. “Have fun guys.”

Lucas tears his shirt off.

“Wait, he’s not going to strip right here, is he?” Mark asks, looking between Haechan and Johnny.

“We’ve all seen his cock.” Johnny shrugs.

“We have?” Mark blinks, looking pointedly at you.

“Don’t worry mark, he’s a shower, not a grower.” You wave your hand dismissively, not even looking at Lucas who is now undoing his pants.

“Wait, Lucas, give someone a dare before you guys go.” Johnny says when Lucas is fully naked and mooning you all, following Jeno, who has already taken off in the direction of the lake.

“Johnny, I dare you to eat five s’mores!”

“Okay” Johnny grins, grabbing the bag of marshmallows.

“That’s no fair!” Haechan screeches. “You can’t give dares that people are going to enjoy!”

“Oh yeah?” Johnny challenges, “Yuta,” all eyes go to the man under you and he freezes, unprepared for attention, “truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Yuta says smoothly.

“Go put on Y/N’s prettiest pair of panties under your sweatpants and wear them the rest of the game.” Johny states. “See Haechan? We can do dares that people enjoy.”

Johnny, Mark and Haechan all begin to giggle, Yuta and Jaehyun both crack a smile. Taeil simply sighs, and Sungchan tries to make himself smaller in his chair, you think he must not be enjoying the trip very much.

You get off of Yuta’s lap to allow him to go follow through with the dare. “Don’t even think about using the fun red one, I know you’ve been eying her for a while.” You warn, poking your best friend’s side as he moves past you.

“The red one is exactly what I’m going to put on.” Yuta teases you, pinching your cheek before darting off.

“Who hasn’t had a turn yet?” Johnny asks.

“Sungchan.” Haechan responds, looking at the new frat brother, “if you had to date any of the guys in the frat,” Taeil begins to argue and Haechan talks over him, “if they were female,” he clarifies which shuts the eldest member up, “who would you want to date?”

Sungchan’s cheeks turn red, and you smile at his softness. “Um-” he looks up, thinking hard, “I don’t know? Maybe… maybe Kun?”

“And not me!?” Haechan is up on his feet in an instant. “You traitor!”

“Haechan, you literally have a girlfriend, sit down.” Johnny laughs. “Kun is a good choice, the poor guy is way too sexually frustrated. Also, Haechan, you all voted that Kun’s the best choice to date in the frat when you guys did your ‘pimp my best friend off to my frat brothers’ presentation night.”

“But Kun isn’t who she ended up choosing, she chose you!” Haechan insists. “So you can’t pick Kun, because he’s been proven to not be the best.”

“Kun is literally the best of you though- from an outward perspective at least.” You correct yourself when Haechan immediately opens his mouth to fight you. “He’s going to be a doctor, he’s kind, he’s cute-”

“So that’s your type then?” Mark asks curiously. He’s always tried to get a read on you and Yuta, this feels like the perfect opportunity.

“I feel like I don’t really have a type.” You shrug, leaning back in your chair and enjoying the warmth Yuta’s body left in its wake. “Right now, I think I really just want someone who has the same goal as me with a relationship.”

“So you’re saying, you’d date literally any of us, if we met your relationship goal standards?” Haechan asks in shock.

“I wouldn’t date those of you who are already taken.” You say. “And you better not be suggesting yourself because your girlfriend will kick your ass.”

“Not for me, obviously.” Haechan rolls his eyes, appalled at the notion. “I’m sure your kitty is nice but I’ve got more than enough to eat at home.”

Taeil chokes on his beer, sputtering and sending droplets of liquid everywhere. Sungchan quickly pats his back, helping the eldest frat brother catch his breath, and you note how red his ears are. The two are both very embarrassed by Haechan’s words, and the man in question simply grins and cracks open another can of beer.

“Why is Taeil dying?” Jeno’s voice shocks you, making you jump and whip around in your chair, having not heard Jeno approach behind you. You had forgotten about Lucas’s nudity and groan loudly, turning back around in your chair quickly to avoid looking at his naked form for too long, and give him a smidgen of privacy as he eagerly pulls his clothes back on, obviously cold.

“Haechan was talking about eating pussy.” Johnny says nonchalantly.

“Johnny we literally have a child with us!” Taeil exclaims, throwing his hands over Sungchan’s ears.

Johnny laughs, but concedes, waving a hand, “fine, no more pussy talk.”

Jaehyun lets out a chuckle and you look up at him. He’s not looking at you, eyes instead focused on the fire. He looks very content and happy, hood pulled up, dimples on display. The charismatic man looks tired, eyes half closed, and the relaxed position of his body tells you that he feels safe here with everyone.

It’s nice to see him like this.

Usually he’s up and about, being a leader, an athlete, a frat boy.

The guy sitting and looking into the fire doesn’t look like any of those things. He just looks like Jae, and you kind of like it that way.

Yuta’s return has your thoughts of Jaehyun scattering, your attention fully fixed on your best friend who pushes you to make room for him on the chair. Once he’s seated, you teasingly grab at the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling them to the side to catch a glimpse of “the red ones! Yuta!”

“Red’s my colour!” He insists, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest, cheek pressing against the crown of your head.

“Whose turn was it in truth or dare?” Haechan asks, looking around as if narrowing in on his next victim.

“Maybe we should just hang out for a bit.” Johnny says, stretching, “I’m getting pretty tired, but we gotta make Yuta sit in the panties for a while, or the dare isn’t as fun.”

“I can sleep in them.” Yuta suggests casually, drawing all of your eyes. He shrugs. “They’re actually kind of comfortable.”

“Yuta, I really worry about Shotaro’s well being as your little.” Taeil says, already wondering if they can pair the other Japanese frat brother with a different ‘big’ in the frat to watch out for him.

“Yuta’s a decent big.” You defend your best friend, tucking yourself better against his body as you get comfortable together. “Sometimes we take Shotaro for bubble tea.”

“Sounds like you’re Shotaro’s big too.” Johnny smiles, happy to hear that the newer member has a support system that extends beyond Yuta’s crazy self.

“That’s kinda hot.” Haechan says, followed closely by: “i love my girlfriend.” Then he looks at Mark. “That’s kinda hot right? Y/N as a big? Kinda like a dom, huh?”

“Haechan I’m not a sub!” Mark screams, and you know for a fact that they have this argument at least once a week since the whole ‘Mark has mommy issues’ incident that Mark still insists never happened.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Haechan crosses his arms over his chest.

“I’m not letting you watch me fuck someone!”

“Okay, sub.”

“Haechan.” Johnny’s voice is pleasant but has a warning tone to it.

“Come on, out of all of us, who would be the biggest sub?” Haechan exclaims, looking in turn at: you, Yuta, Jeno, Lucas, Taeil, Sungchan, Johnny, Jaehyun and then Mark. “Yeah. Like I said,” he leans back in his chair, “okay, sub.”

“Are we all going to ignore the fact that Jaehyun has a thing for girls who talk back to him?” Mark exclaims. “Like that time we went to the club and that girl smacked Jae, so he fucked her in the bathroom? Am I the only one who remembers this?”

“That doesn’t make him a sub though.”

“He sucked on her fingers!” Mark insists.

“Okay!” Jaehyun stands up abruptly. “You both have definitely had enough to drink and it’s time to go to bed.”

“Aw, Jae,” Haechan blinks cutely at his friend, “sucking fingers isn’t anything to be ashamed of.”

Jaehyun opens his mouth, sighs, then presses his lips together tightly. He says nothing, turning and heading towards the massive tent that’s going to house him, Lucas and Sungchan.

Johnny chuckles, and he’s the next to stand, stretching and making an obscene sound. “Alright Taeil, let’s go. Can’t sleep without my small spoon.”

“You guys are going to sleep now too, right?” Taeil clarifies, looking pointedly at Jeno and Lucas as he and Sungchan stand. The contrast of size makes you giggle to yourself, you and Yuta both rising to your feet.

“Just gotta put the embers out.” Jeno says, grabbing the water jug to douse what’s left of your fire. You’re glad one person seems to have their head screwed on straight, even if he’s one of the youngest people in your group.

“And you two, brush your teeth.” Taeil reminds Mark and Haechan, eying the half empty marshmallow bag. The rest of you have already mostly prepared to sleep, which means all that’s left to do is for you and Yuta to enter the privacy of your little tent. The two of you cuddle up in the double sleeping bag.

“Are you tired?” you ask, looking up at your best friend. You can’t see him due to the darkness of the tent, but you can imagine his pretty face, eyes closed.

“A little, but you have something you want to talk about.” Yuta answers softly, adjusting his grip on you. “What’s up?”

You open your mouth then shut it. “It’s nothing.”

“You want to ask me about the Jaehyun finger sucking story, don’t you?”

“Maybe.”

“Mark pretty much covered it.”

“Why did some girl smack Jaehyun?”

“He’s kind of into that sort of thing sometimes. Strong girls, girls who know what they want. Girls who ignore him.” Yuta trails off and it feels as if he’s waiting for you to say something. The silence is thick. “He was jealous of you and Lucas you know.”

“What?”

“When we went to get burgers. He was being a little bitch about it.”

You giggle. “Was he really?”

“Yeah. If Jaehyun has a crush on someone, like he said at the fire, no matter how fucking high school it may sound, I think it’s you.”

“I thought you said you were going to set me up with a guy once we got back from the camping trip, not while we’re on it.” You tease.

“I see you avoiding telling me your feelings about this.” Yuta says. “Nice deflection though.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“That you’re hella turned on by the idea of smacking Jaehyun and him sucking on your fingers. I know you babe,” Yuta hugs you tighter, “don’t fight it.”

“You know what-”

“I said don’t fight it.” Yuta shushes you, petting your head, “Just accept your attraction to him.”

“Yuta are you wing-manning me, or him, right now?”

“Both.” Yuta says, yawning loudly. “I think you’d be good for him.”

“But would he be good for me?”

“Jaehyun’s a great guy, you’re both hot, what else is there to say. And look, if you guys give it a try and it doesn’t work out, I promise you will get custody of me in the divorce.”

“Oh great.” You say sarcastically.

“Shut up.” Yuta sighs. “Now go to sleep before I go tell Jaehyun you think he’s hot because you’re being mean to me.”

“Who screamed at four am?” Is the first thing a bleary eyed Haechan asks when he exits the big tent, the last of the group to be up and about.

“Taeil did.” Johnny answers all too quickly.

“Only because you purposefully scared me!” Taeil shouts.

“You woke me up!”

“I had to go pee!”

“Trouble in paradise.” You mutter to Yuta, who’s seated next to you by the fire, both of you munching on cereal and bundled under a shared blanket.

“You can say that again.” Yuta responds.

“What’s the plan for today?” Sungchan’s soft voice asks, making the parental figures of the group quit arguing to answer his question.

“Uh, another hike-”

“No!” Yuta groans, burying his face in your neck.

“I think we’ll stay here and go to the lake.” You tell Johnny.

“Okay, well a hike or the lake, hang out a bit, and then we’ll drive back closer to the evening, stop somewhere for food and be back at the frat by tonight.”

Everyone agrees to this loose plan, and by the time breakfast is done, lunches are packed for the group going for a hike, and people get changed into the right gear for the trek, it’s already eleven. As Johnny adjusts the straps of his backpack, you notice Jaehyun looking over at where you, Yuta, Mark and Haechan are resting by the fire, having opted to stay behind.

You watch Jaehyun go talk to Johnny, whose eyes scan you and your little group, then he nods. His reaction to whatever news Jaehyun has just told him is a stark contrast to Taeil’s reaction, who throws his arms up and screams, “aren’t you the one who planned this trip for hikes?! And now you’re not even coming!? Why do i have to go for a hike but the team captain doesn't!?”

Johnny simply laughs, putting his hand on the elder man’s shoulder, and you hear him mention something about ‘first aid’ to which Taeil rolls his eyes in a dramatic fashion. But a moment later, when Johnny leads the charge from the campsite in the direction of the trails, Taeil trudges behind with Sungchan.

Jaehyun comes over to your group, taking a seat and smiling. Looking at Yuta, Mark, and Haechan, you realize having a stable ‘adult’ with you might be a good thing, even if Yuta is technically older than Jaehyun. But if anything goes wrong and someone has a stupid idea like ‘lets try to chop down this random tree with an ax’, Yuta’s definitely not going to try to stop them, but Jaehyun probably would.

“Drink?” Haechan asks, reaching into his hoodie pocket and pulling out a beer that he offers to Jaehyun, who simply looks at it, then up to Haechan and sighs. “It’s five o'clock somewhere.” Haechan says. “More for me.”

Yuta laughs and quickly snatches the drink from Haechan. “More for me.” He grins, cracking it open and drinking heavily.

“We should go hang out at the lake.” Mark says. He stands and stretches, then heads off to his tent, not waiting for anyone to agree with him.

It’s warming up. The sun is twinkling through the trees to say hello and apply heated kisses to your skin. By the time you’re all ready to go, a small cooler packed with food and drinks, a bag with towels and other items, it’s pleasantly warm.

Mark and Haechan begin arguing about a presentation they have to do in the coming week as soon as you begin to walk towards the lake, and they’re so heated that their pace quickens, until they’re (thankfully) far ahead of you, Yuta and Jaehyun.

“Who are we playing next weekend?” Yuta asks, eyes on his frat brother.

But it’s not Jaehyun who answers, it’s you. “The Panthers.”

Jaehyun is a little confused as to how you would know that, but Yuta’s words quickly change that. “Are you still talking to their team captain?”

“Yeah.”

Jaehyun can feel his blood beginning to boil. You’re talking to Bang Chan? And by talking… does Yuta mean fucking? Are you fucking the enemy? The team captain of the enemy no less? Is this why you come to soccer games? You’re fucking the other team’s players?

“He’s a really nice guy.”

Your words make Jaehyun calm down a little. He swallows thickly, trying to sooth his anger.

“Aren’t you still sleeping with the Panther cheerleader? How did you not know they’re coming next weekend?” You question Yuta.

“We don’t plan, we just see each other at the game and then go fuck.” Yuta shrugs. “I don’t even have her number.”

“Which cheerleader?” Jaehyun asks, honestly curious.

“Uh, the brunette?”

“That’s half the cheer squad.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes. “What’s her name?”

“I just call her Pretty Slut, so, I don't know.”

Jaehyun’s jaw drops on it’s own and he nearly sputters from this new information. You and Yuta are so open about your sexual conquests, about your hook ups, and you’re both just as slutty as he is. Jaehyun realizes he’s missed out on a lot of fun by avoiding you all this time.

“You’re horrible.” You giggle, nudging Yuta, who wraps an arm around you and grins.

“You love me.” Yuta insists.

“Unfortunately.”

Jaehyun’s shocked that you and Yuta can be this close, can say you love each other, and both not feel any attraction to each other? Jaehyun’s strictly a woman kinda guy, but even he can see how pretty Yuta is.

The fact that you can be around so many attractive men, who would all fall to their knees for you, (well, with the exception of Yuta, obviously), just makes Jaehyun want you even more. You stand out from other girls who fawn over people like Lucas and even Johnny, who makes it quite clear that he has a girlfriend. You even turned Lucas down- and Jaehyun’s heard about Lucas’s ‘monster cock’, so... Jaehyun just thinks you're different, and he really likes that.

The day is passing by pleasantly… despite (or maybe even due to) the fact that Jaehyun is walking around shirtless and nursing a beer, looking like a whole snack and a half. You stick mostly with Yuta, the two of you heading out in a double tube inflatable that Haechan and Mark had brought up with them.

It’s around two o'clock when you need some water, and the small cooler is nearly empty by now, so you offer to take it for a refill. You notice Jaehyun isn’t around, and you assume he’s wandered off somewhere, but that’s the most you think about it as you head back towards the camp site.

You’re pretty sure that Haechan has a stash in his tent, but you wouldn’t be surprised if the big tent also has some, after all, you’d seen Lucas with a mixed drink.

Haechan’s been drinking all day, so you assume his stash might be depleted. Due to this, you go to the big tent first. As you’re going to reach for the zipper, you stop, ears picking up a small sound. You think about it for a moment, but decide that it was nothing, after all, everyone is either on a hike or down at the beach.

The zipper moves smoothly and quickly, the entire flap coming undone in an instant. You step into the tent- and freeze.

Jaehyun is inside the tent, laying half propped up on his sleeping bag, his hand wrapped around his cock.

You stare at each other for a solid second, frozen in complete shock.

And then, you say; “You really couldn’t wait till we got back to the frat in like six hours?”

Jaehyun lets out a groan, his head falling back in his pillow. “You’re such a bitch sometimes.”

“But you love it.” You zip the tent behind you, sealing you in Jaehyun. “Don’t you, Jae?”

“If you’re going to say shit like that, you better follow through.”

“What makes you think I don’t intend to?” You can feel your skin buzzing as you move to straddle Jaehyun, pushing his hands away from his own cock. He’s lubricated with… spit? “Suck on my fingers Jae.” You command, moving your digits towards his lips only to have your wrist caught in a vice grip.

“So that’s how you think this is going to go?” He asks. “Think again.”

He sits up abruptly, easily flipping you onto your back. The impact makes you gasp, and Jaehyun takes the opportunity to press his lips against yours, his tongue invading your mouth deliciously. One of his hands grabs your waist, and you tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging roughly and earning a growl from the man pressing you down into the sleeping bag.

His hips grind down against yours, making you groan. Jaehyun’s lips move to your neck, and he finds your sweet spot way too easily. “Gonna let me make you feel good, right?”

You laugh, “Are you sure you can?”

A hand wraps around your throat, squeezing tightly. You grab at his forearm, grinning as he looks down at you, a challenge.

“Bet I can fuck you better than Lucas or Bang Chan.” He says gruffly. HIs hand moves from your throat to your jaw, squeezing. “You enjoy fucking the enemy, huh, gorgeous? Bang Chan’s not your team captain.”

Looking up at Jaehyun, you’re completely overwhelmed by how sexy he is dominating you like this. You’d thought you could dom him a little, but oh how the turns have tabled- you have to stop hanging out with Haechan so much- oh how the tables have turned.

You kind of wish he’d spit in your mouth.

Then you’re appalled by your own thoughts, wiggling under him. Jaehyun releases your jaw, and he sits up, grabbing at your shirt and tugging it off of your body. You do the same to him, getting rid of the muscle shirt which has been tantalizing you for the past twenty four hours. Why did he even bother putting it on to walk here from the beach?

Your lips attach to his the moment your shirts are gone, and his hands find your shoulders, pushing you flat onto your back again. His weight is heavy, and he’s so much bigger than you, making you feel incredibly small and at his mercy. Your skin is tingling with need, your lips working feverishly against Jaehyun’s as your hands claw at the newly exposed skin, skimming the hard muscle of his shoulders.

His lips trail down your body, wasting no time latching to your nipple as his other hand fondles your free breast, sending pleasure erupting through your body. “Jae-” You whine, his name leaving your lips before you’ve even registered thinking about it.

“Be quiet, or someone might hear.” He says, teeth grazing your sensitive bud and making you push your chest up against him. You let out a small sound. You know he’s right but you’re not happy about it.

You don’t think the others are coming back from the hike anytime soon, and you don’t think anyone will make the trek up from the lake to check on you, but you are in a tent on the edge of a campsite. It’s semi public, and that just makes it sexier.

Jaehyun’s fingers hook in your sweatpants, and he drags both them and your bikini bottoms down at the same time. Your legs feel cold exposed to the air, but Jaehyun’s hot breath fans against your core a moment later, and the new warmth makes you shiver a little.

The soccer team captain positions your legs over his shoulders, laying on the ground to access you. His tongue presses flat against your core, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your thighs on either side of his head. A moan bubbles up in your chest, almost leaving your throat but you catch it, instead opting to arch your back, eyes clenching shut at the wonderful feeling.

Jaehyun watches the way you react to him, pressing his tongue into you and tasting. He groans, which sends vibrations through you and makes your legs twitch. He adjusts his grip on you, pressing harder to your core and moving up to your clit.

“Jae!” You whisper scream, making him smile against your entrance.

“Be fucking quiet.” Jaehyun growls, turning to bite your inner thigh just enough to hurt. You whimper in response, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling him back to where you need him.

Jaehyun concedes to your needs, and this time he has a new ferocity, eating you out like a man starved. Your hips rut against his face on their own accord, “I’m gonna-”

He pulls away from your core. “That’s for fucking Bang Chan.” He growls, shoving his sweats down. “Condom?”

“Pill.” You grab the back of his head and force his lips to yours, tasting yourself on his tongue. Your legs wrap around his waist and you’re needy for him to just fuck you, you’d been so close, you know you can get there if he only-

Jaehyun slides into you in one fluid motion, his hips flush against yours, both of you letting out groans that are muffled by the kiss. “Fuck.” Jaehyun bites into your lower lip, his fingers digging into your thigh wrapped around his waist.

Then he begins to snap his hips.

“Fuck!” Now it’s your turn to curse. You pull at his hair, earning another growl from Jaehyun, who digs his fingers into your hips in return.

Maybe it’s the position.

Maybe it’s the fact that you’re practically in public ,and literally any of your best friends could show up at any time.

Or maybe it’s the fact that he’s a sexy soccer team captain-

No, that’s not it. Bang Chan is a team captain too, and sex with him wasn’t like this.

Maybe it’s just the fact that this is Jaehyun, and that’s why it feels so good.

You’ve had bigger dicks, sure, but nothing has felt like this. He’s hitting all the right places, and you’re lost in his kisses, desperately clutching at him like an animal, lost of all human decency, simply chasing your own high.

This time, you don’t tell him you’re going to cum. You simply explode on his cock, revelling in the fact that you’ve been able to save your nearly lost orgasm from his tongue. Your pussy clamps down on Jaehyun and he lets out a groan, fingers wrapping around your throat. “Who said you could cum?!” He growls. “Look at me.”

You force your eyes open, smiling triumphantly up at the man who is squeezing away your breath.

He fucks you even harder, prolonging your orgasm until your body feels on fire. You can hear yourself, and you can feel your wetness on your inner thighs, that’s how turned on Jaehyun makes you.

He lets go of your neck when you finally come down from your orgasm, and you take a big gulp of air. Then you push at his shoulders roughly. Jaehyun backs off immediately, and you take the opportunity to roll you both over so you’re on top.

Seated, legs wrapped around his waist, Jaehyun hit new depths inside of you. You press your palms flat to his chest, rolling your hips as his hands find your waist, helping you grind down on him. His dark eyes take in everything, focusing predominantly on your chest and face as you begin to bounce.

He sits up abruptly, arms wrapping around you to hold you still, his cock completely sheathed inside of you. Jaehyun peppers you neck in kisses before his eyes meet yours. He opens his mouth, but before some alpha dom shit can come out, you shove two digits past his lips, smirking at him.

Jaehyun narrows his eyes at you but sucks all the same, allowing you to push him down on his back again. This time, you’re still chest to chest, and while he gently sucks at your fingers, you press kisses to his neck. “Cum for me Jae.” You say, biting at his ear lobe as you rock your hips.

He grabs your wrist and forces your fingers from his mouth. “You first.”

Another roll of bodies has you on your back, Jaehyun’s hands forcing your legs up closer to your chest, allowing him to reach impossibly deep. “Rub your clit and make yourself cum on my cock.” He says, harder this time.

Hasn’t he ever been told not to threaten a girl with a good time?

Your fingers find your clit and your legs spasm at the contact, your orgasm building quickly as Jaehyun fucks you into his sleeping bag. But you don’t want Jaehyun to have full control of this, of you, so you wrap an arm around the back of his neck, using his shoulders as leverage so you can move your own hips too, meeting his thrusts.

“Fuck.” Jaehyun groans, able to feel how tight you’re getting around him. His skin is tingling with pleasure, and he’s at the precipice of his orgasm- only to be pulled over the edge when your pussy clamps down on him fully, your orgasm slamming into you.

Your gasps are eaten up by Jaehyun’s lips, and his hips shudder but remain steady, carrying you both through your orgasms until you’re sweaty messes.

Jaehyun pulls out of you and rolls to lay next to you, both of you staring at the blue ceiling of the tent and trying to catch your breaths.

Once you feel able, you sit up, turning to say something to Jaehyun when you hear voices.

“Are we out of beer?”

“Yeah, we took the last of it down to the lake.”

“But the others have mix right?”

You quickly grab your clothes, wiggling them on while Jaehyun watches you with a lazy smile on his face. He doesn’t have a care in the world, but you do.

You snag the half empty box of mix drink cans and nearly trip over yourself getting out of the tent. Haechan and Mark have just reached the fire pit, a few meters away, and you zip the tent so they can’t see Jaehyun inside. “Mix drinks!” You announce, holding out the box as an offering to your friends.

“We were wondering where you went.” Mark says.

“Why do you look so out of breath?” Haechan questions.

“I went for a short run.” You lie easily. “Just got here to grab the drinks, and then I heard you guys.”

Mark nods, buying it right away, and Haechan’s too busy pulling out his keys to stab a can and shotgun it to care.

You can feel Jaehyun’s cum in your bikini bottoms and groan to yourself, you’ll have to go to the shower and clean yourself before heading down to the lake.

Leaving the campsite with Mark and Haechan, you join their conversation and try to remain casual. When you get to the path that leads to the bathroom building, you excuse yourself, jogging the rest of the way.

Just when you think you’re safe, the women’s bathroom door in sight- Yuta exits the men’s room. You don’t even say anything, simply grab his hand and drag him with you into the bathrooms.

“What’s going on?” Yuta laughs, watching you close yourself into a stall with amusement.

“I have cum in my bikini bottoms!”

“Said no one ever, what the fuck-” Yuta laughs. “Did Lucas come back early from the hike?”

“No, I fucked Jaehyun!” Hearing the words come from your mouth makes them real and you’re shocked at yourself. The silence from the other side of the door tells you Yuta’s in a similar position.

“You what?” Yuta gasps. “I thought you weren’t fucking randoms anymore!?”

“He’s not a random!”

“True but- I- I mean- I always knew you’d fuck, but I didn’t think it would be on the camping trip-”

“Yuta, he was jacking off in the tent, what else was I supposed to do?”

“Okay, you know what. You’re a real MVP.” Yuta laughs. “How was it?”

“Amazing.” You groan, finishing up cleaning yourself and your bottoms.

“You make that sound like it’s a bad thing.”

“It is!”

“How?!”

“Because I want a relationship, and this is Jaehyun!”

“Y/N,” Yuta matches your raised tone. “We talked about this. Jaehyun’s already being loyal to you and not fucking people- he’s already acting like a boyfriend- what’s so bad about this?!”

You open your mouth to respond but nothing comes out. Yuta’s right. There’s nothing overtly bad about this situation- so why do you still feel on edge about all of this?

You’re the one who wants a relationship, right?

So why are you the one running away?

It’s easy enough to avoid Jaehyun until everyone gets back from the hike. Yuta understands you want some space to think. He’s been your best friend for so long that he knows his job is simply to stay by your side and make sure you get the space you need.

When Jaehyun comes back down to the beach, Yuta grabs you and drags you up to the campsite to begin taking down tents and packing up cars.

And when the group comes back from the hike, Yuta even says that you two are eager to get home, and want to skip having dinner with everyone on the drive home at a diner Johnny had spotted on the way up.

Taeil is more than eager to agree to drive with you and Yuta home earlier than the others, and before you know it, you’re back at the frat.

“I feel like, as both of your friends, I should tell Jae you need some space.” Yuta says when you both lay down on his bed, exhausted from the excitement of the day and the trip in general.

You shrug.

“Maybe he won’t want to be your boyfriend if this is the level of communication he’s going to expect from you.” Yuta teases, making you playfully nip at his arm, teeth sinking gently into flesh before he pulls away. “Tell me I’m wrong!”

You groan, turning your back to him and attempting to burrito yourself in his blanket.

“Yutaaaaa-”

“Just accept it babe.” Yuta wraps his arms around you. “And cuddle me back, because once you start dating Jae you won’t want to do this anymore.”

“Lies.”

“Ok, well, after you start dating Jae, he’s going to break your back if you keep doing this with me, how about that?”

“You both have to stop threatening me with a good time,” You nuzzle against him, giggling, “because I will take it.”

Bang Chan: Hey! Game on Saturday. Can I see you after?

Y/N: Hey… I think, right now, i’m really looking for something more long term. So I don’t think we should see each other anymore

Bang Chan: oh

Bang Chan: thanks for telling me! I enjoy you though, so even if you want to just get food we can do that :)

Y/N: that sounds too much like a date

Bang Chan: I mean…

Y/N: Chris

Bang Chan: ouch. Long distance isn’t your thing?

Y/N: it’s not. But also, i don’t know, there’s this guy I’m kind of interested in

Bang Chan: nice! I really hope it works out for you :)

Y/N: haha me too, sort of, thanks

Bang Chan: ‘sort of’???? Uh oh

Y/N: it’s just a bit weird to think i could actually be in a relationship after being single for so long

Bang Chan: I get that. But if anyone deserves a relationship it’s you :) you’ve always been a really nice girl, and you’re gorgeous. I’m sure it will work out.

Jaehyun is a little shocked you’re at the game. He hasn’t seen you all week, and he knows you’ve been avoiding him. Yuta had told him you get like this sometimes and need space, so he’s tried to respect it. But he hadn’t been prepared to see you here, in the stands with his other frat brothers.

You’re in his team’s colours, which makes him feel good, and he tries his absolute best not to focus on decimating Bang Chan on the field.

Knowing you’re in the stands has always given Jaehyun fuel to play better, to go the extra distance, to prove himself, and today is no different.

It’s a difficult game, and Jaehyun allows himself to get lost in the endorphins that rush through his body as the match comes to a tie when Bang Chan scores, matching his own goal from the first half.

Jaehyun’s his team’s captain, and he feels personally responsible for leading his team to a victory, which he all but seals with a well placed shot from just outside the box.

The ball goes into the net, and the crowd erupts. Jaehyun’s team mates rush over to him, celebrating on the corner of the pitch near where the Nct frat sits. Jaehyun can’t help the way his eyes find you, standing and celebrating with- Lucas.

Just like that, Jaehyun’s happiness flips on its head, his hand forming a fist. He’ll just have to get another goal.

A hatrick.

Three goals in one game.

That will impress you.

The game continues and Jaehyun knows he’s playing better than he has in ages. He doesn’t feel tired even when his muscles scream. No, he’s fuelled by the need to impress you. This need is all the more prevalent now that he’s had a taste of what being with you could look like. There’s no way in hell he’s going to let you slip through his fingers after avoiding you for so long due to his own timidness and stupidity.

Jaehyun has felt so small in relation to you, never due to your own actions per se, he knows it’s all in his head. Today he wants to be big. Bigger than Bang Chan, or Yuta or even Lucas. Not in body, but in spirit, but in action.

In the last minute, Yuta passes to Jaehyun, leading to a break away that has Jaehyun once more face to face with the goalie. Jaehyun feels all the emotions bubbling inside of him as he lines himself up to shoot, the ball flying through the air and whizzing past the goalie, landing in the net.

The crowd erupts again, and the whistle is blown, the field becoming chaos as Jaehyun’s team runs to celebrate with him in the corner.

Yuta throws himself at Jaehyun, who catches his teammate as they both tumble to the ground. Everything is happening fast, people everywhere, but when Jaehyun is on his feet again, he still finds a moment to search for you in the crowd, only to be disappointed when he sees that most of the frat section has dissipated.

“Jae.”

That voice. Your voice. He’d know it anywhere.

Except, had you just said his name? Not Yuta’s?

Jaehyun whips around, and then lips press against his. The team captain’s body recognizes you before his mind even does, his hands finding your waist to pull you closer. He closes his eyes and eagerly kisses you back, enjoying the way you cup his face. It makes him feel like he’s the only thing in the world, and it’s nice you’re finally reciprocating the feeling.

Someone whistles loudly, and then there’s a shove at Jaehyun’s back. He manages to catch you slightly before you both tumble to the ground. You land on his chest and Jaehyun lets out an ‘oof’ groaning at the wind knocked out of him as Haechan, Yuta, and Jungwoo stand over the two of you triumphantly.

“Jae.” Your voice draws him away from looking at his friends, his anger at their actions dissipating. He’ll never get used to hearing you say his name. “Kiss me.”

He thinks he’ll never get used to this either. But that’s okay. He has you now, and that’s the only thing that matters.

this fic has a part two that you can choose to read, showing Jaehyun’s relationship with this Y/N 3 years after uni, read it here)

I hope you guys liked it! For soccer Yuta/Johnny/Jaehyun there’s an amazing isac video here vs stray kids

frat masterlist here - fics for johnny, haechan, etc...

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neowinestainedress · 3 years

Text

forever is the sweetest con ; jeong jaehyun

title: forever is the sweetest con

part three of amami ancora

pairings: jeong jaehyun x OC | (side characters, suh johnny, kim doyoung, nakamoto yuta, lee mark, lee taeyong, | mentioned: qian kun and lee donghyuck)

genre: domestic fluff, smut, established relationship, parent!au, humour (if you squint), slice of life

warnings: smut, fingering, squirting, oral sex (f and m receiving), multiple orgasms, brief tied up sex, unprotected sex (she’s on the pill this time, though), morning sex, food play (nothing messy, just chocolate and a strawberry), sensory deprivation, that should be all

summary: After the storm always comes the rainbow. And finally, after eight months, Jaehyun and Scarlett can live their life with fewer fears creeping in their bones and with the consciousness that nothing and nobody can take their little paradise away from them. So they decided to take some days off to make up for all the wasted time, filling their hearts with sweet and cherished moments with each other and Eunbi, that somehow always know how to surprise them.

word count: 21.530

a/n: My child’s finally here! I’m so happy to make it see the light of the day. I loved writing this and I might be addicted to these three, ngl. So, enjoy two parents being in love with each other and their baby. Just a small disclaimer; I’m not sure if some terms are right, mostly the ones that concern Eunbi’s needs, I don’t even know how some things are called in my language and I had to look for their name on the internet and they might not be accurate, but if you understood what I wanted to say and know that that’s not the right way let me know, please. I hope this is what you wanted. Let me know if you liked it, I'd love to know your thoughts!

The salty scent of the summer air filled the small house perched on the hill of the rough road of Seashore. It was the end of a mild June that was leaving its place to a burning July, but the morning sun was still bearable, while it shined in the blue sky leaving no space for a single cloud to stain the perfect picture.

The clock was about to hit nine, and most of the people that lived there had already left earlier in the morning. Johnny and Mark had started their morning shift at six, while Doyoung dropped Taeyong at the bakery and Yuta by the port at eight, even if he had to go to work later.

The sound of the kettle ringed in the kitchen, bringing Scarlett's attention to the water she put to boil before, drifting away from Eunbi that was livingly playing with her toys on the ground.

"Stay there," she warned, getting up, pointing her finger to her child. She was almost eight months old now and had started to be very energetic. She loved to explore, probably a little bit too much for her -everybody's- sanity. The only answer she got was a low giggle and some other jabbered syllables that weren't addressed to her but to the soft plushies she was holding in her small hands.

Scarlett huffed, turning off the stove before pouring the hot liquid into two cups with tea leaves, one for her, the other for Jaehyun that was still sleeping. He had a night shift at the port, after a day working at the fishery.

He was the only full income they had. Not that she stopped working, but after the first month Eunbi had some health problems and she had to take more time off before going back to work. And even now, they couldn't afford a babysitter, and she didn't trust anyone near their house anyway, so they all had to take turns to stay at home with her. But they both were aware of the fact that she wasn't everybody's baby, and they couldn't weigh too much on the others, no matter how much they insisted. So Jaehyun was busy, he couldn't travel anymore so he mostly became an all-rounder, moving everywhere to do all the work he could. He did his best to show no bother about it, but Scarlett knew that it was tiring. She could see it in his hollowed face, and eye bags and the way he would fall asleep as soon as his head met the pillow.

She dragged her body out of the kitchen with the two cups in hand, she then put them down on the coffee table and grabbed Eunbi that was trying to lift herself up on the new couch.

"Where are you going?" She asked in a light tone, booping her nose. Eunbi simply laughed and cupped her mother's face with her hands. Yes, another new habit; smashing and pulling everything and every face she could find on her way. Kun had explained that it was another way to get more in contact with the familiar faces, but she was sure she also found some happiness in seeing their suffering expressions.

"Let's wake Dada up, ugh?" She cooed, making her way to the corridor but before she could turn the corner she bumped right into his broad figure. A sleepy, frowning, Jaehyun was standing with a hand on his face to wipe the sleep out of his eyes and the other in front of his mouth to hide his yawn.

"Oh," she exclaimed, surprised of seeing him up already.

"Look at my favourite princesses," he greeted, pulling Scarlett closer to leave a peck on her forehead and then on Eunbi's. Scarlett smiled fondly and inhaled his scent deeply, that wasn't her favourite pet name but she was getting used to seeing it in a different light. He wasn't using it as a title anymore, it was just full of love and tenderness.

"Let me take her," he suggested, wrapping his arms around the child that was clapping her hands together and mumbled sounds close to "mbba".

"She's going to say papa first," Jaehyun teased, wrapping the other free arm around Scarlett that just laughed and clicked her tongue.

"Sure, whatever makes you sleep at night, Jeong."

"Let's be honest, she'll probably say Johnny," he joked, sitting down on the couch next to her. "I always catch him talking to her and repeating his name like a parrot."

Scarlett laughed throwing her head back. "They are doing their best to be her favourite," she justified.

"They are doing too much, I'd say," he corrected, swinging Eunbi's hand wrapped around his finger in a playful movement that made her giggle. He then got up to place her in the small playpen they afforded to buy, to enjoy the tea Scarlett prepared. She had her favourite baby mobile there and spent hours staring at the animals moving around, the stack and sing rings with the monkey on top, the first discoveries table, and some other smaller toys that she loved a little bit less.

"You need some rest," Scarlett affirmed, pulling her knees on the couch, turning her body to the side to look at Jaehyun that was sipping on his cup.

"I'm fine, it wasn't so late when I came back."

"No, not sleep. But rest, you need to unwind. You rarely stopped working since we had her and the rhythms you keep are insane."

"We can't afford a vacation if that's what you're hinting to," he replied, raising a brow before biting on the cookie she had brought when he settled Eunbi down.

"I know, but just a few days, somewhere," she insisted. "Or even just at home, we don't have to go far from here, but you could just relax, and then we could go to the park or the beach," she suggested. "Eunbi's never been there before, and, shamelessly, me too."

Jaehyun stared at her with wide eyes and mouth open, "You've never been to the sea?"

She denied with a shook of her head, "Do you see a Princess splashing around with commoners? Planting an umbrella next to them?" She sneered, faking superiority.

"Oh, no, but I can imagine her having a child with one of them," he grinned, pulling her close to leave a kiss on her cheek, "you broke the worst rule you could break. An escape to swim in the sea? Mh, not. But escaping to give birth to the child of an illicit affair? Hell, yes."

"Oh, shut up, imagine if I stayed there," she rolled her eyes, pushing his chest back.

"No, thanks, that's a nightmare, I don't want to think about it."

"So? What do you think?" She asked, going back to the main topic.

"About you staying with the spoiled Prince?" He teased, lifting a brow.

"No, stupid," she replied, "about you taking some days off."

Seeing his non-convinced expression, she added, "The contract has days off they can't refuse."

"Fine, but when?"

"Take this Friday, and then next week. Saturday will be Taeyong's birthday, and I wanted to prepare a surprise. I know we can't afford big gifts so Doyoung and I thought about doing something here. You could help."

"So you're putting me to work from home, I see," he pouted, pretending to be offended.

"No," she whined, "I'll do the most, just look after Eunbi. She misses you so much, Yoonoh," she finished, looking at the small girl that was crawling in the box trying to sit up by herself.

Jaehyun's expression turned sadder, "I know, I miss the both of you so much. I wish I didn't fall asleep as soon as I step inside, but it's stronger than me."

"I know, love. But you need to unwind. You are a block of nerves, and you also look like a ghost. Have you been eating enough?"

He rolled his eyes before pulling her closer. "Mhh, nope, maybe I could get my other breakfast."

She slapped his arm playfully and glared at him, "Not when she's here."

"You had no problem last Christmas," he reminded her, kissing her again.

"She was sleeping on the other side of the room in the dark, and we were completely silent."

"Completely silent," he chuckled, "and the other lies you love to tell yourself."

"Oh, shut up and go freshen up. Do you have to work today?"

Jaehyun nodded, moving her off of him delicately, "Yeah, Yuta needs me for something, but it won't take long."

"You eating lunch with us, right?"

"Yep, it's after two, don't worry. You can poison my dish," he winked, getting up from his spot.

“That would be very dumb of me to be left all alone with the reincarnation of Satan right here.” Scarlett tilted her head toward the box where Eunbi was loudly playing, smashing some toys on the ground.

“She's an angel," he defended with a pout.

“She crawls and tries to climb everywhere," she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "where does she even have to go? She's always moving, and I'm glad she's fine, but Lord, she never sleeps."

Jaehyun chuckled, "She sleeps at night. Except sometimes for the teeth, she's good. Some parents stopped sleeping for years, Scarlett, we're lucky."

"Yes, but I don't want to imagine what she's going to be like when she starts to walk, or worse, talk."

"I'm sure she'll keep us entertained. We can never say we are bored, right? Much better than all your useless courses with the old lady with different socks?"

Scarlett laughed, remembering the one that had been her teacher for most useless things. "Yeah, a thousand times better. "

“You can leave her with us for a few days,” Johnny proposed while he was bent over the fan, desperately trying to make it work. The evening weather wasn’t as clement as the morning one, and they were trying to get a glimpse of relief.

“I can’t. You all work too, and also I’m still breastfeeding her,” Scarlett answered, passing a toy to Eunbi. They were sitting on the ground on a soft blanket next to Johnny, talking about how stressed Jaehyun was.

“Well, can’t you pump it and put it in a sippy cup so we can give it to her?” He suggested, drifting his gaze from the fan to her.

“She’s growing the first teeth. She won’t make you sleep at night.”

“She spent one night up, Scarlett,” he retorted, raising a brow. “We are careful. We won’t break her,” he reassured her.

“Oh, I know,” she whined, “I trust you with my whole self but, you already do so much for us. She’s not your daughter. I’m sure you have your own things to do.”

“Well, Taeyong and I have been here longer than Jaehyun, so I guess we kind of developed a certain connection with her,” he joked, pressing the button of the fan that finally was working again. “Also, it will be for just two days,” he added, getting up to position the fan in a way that the air flowed in the room without hitting Eunbi or them directly.

Scarlett frowned, sulking at her thoughts. She knew they loved spending time with her; she wasn’t even that hard to look after except for some burst of energy here and there and some cries given to the pain of the first teeth coming out. But she also felt like a burden; if they wanted a child to take care of, they would’ve had one.

“Hey,” Johnny called, kneeling in front of her, hands wrapped around her shoulders, “you never rested since you arrived here. You’ve been through so much while you were expecting her and even after. You also need to relax for a bit.”

“But what about you?”

Johnny rolled his eyes and sat in front of her, pulling Eunbi on his lap, “We’ll be fine, right baby?” He asked the girl that giggled, raising her hands to touch his face.

Scarlett smiled and then exhaled deeply, “Fine,” she gave up, “but just for two days.”

“Yes!” Johnny cheered, leaving a kiss on top of Eunbi's forehead.

“But where can we go anyway?" She questioned, shifting on her seat to adjust the long linen dress she was wearing. It was cool to the skin and of a beautiful pastel blue. "We don't have much money to afford a real vacancy. We have to buy things for her."

“Down at the port, there's a lovely tavern, it's right in front of the seaside, they have some rooms, and it's not expensive.”

“Are you sure? How much is that?"

"Well, you'll have to get an economy room, but I guess it'll be fine if you only have to sleep there... Or make the number two, you know," he winked, tilting his head left, pointing at Eunbi.

She smacked his arm playfully, feeling heat rise on her cheeks, "What number two, we can barely look after her."

"Fine," he sighed, "then use protections."

"Johnny, if you don't shut up immediately!" She warned, pointing a menacing finger at him.

He pretended to be afraid and started laughing. "I'm just saying, orgasms bring serotonin, don't they? I'm sure you both need it."

"Okay, thanks, but it's not the time to discuss it. How much is the room?"

"20 lire should be the less expensive. I've been there once, it's nice. No big bath or sparkling chandelier like the ones you were used to, but it's pretty."

"I don't want luxury, I just want to be with him," she chimed. "Should we book right now?" She suggested. Two days alone wasn't much, right? They weren't terrible parents for wanting some time alone, right? Seeing the worry on her face, Johnny sighed and spoke again, "She'll be fine. Taeyong will cook her the homogenised food she loves the most, while Doyoung will read her stories every time he can. And I'll dress her up like a princess; I also learned how to treat her curls," he exclaimed excitedly, pointing at her hair.

Scarlett smiled, relaxing her shoulders and, without thinking, hugged the man in front of her, careful to not crash Eunbi.

"I love you so much, Johnny. I don't know what I'd do without you," she confessed, leaving a kiss on his cheek.

"That's much for booking a dick appointment, but thanks," he joked, kissing her back.

"Be thankful I can't swear in front of her or I would've already called you names," she kidded, "but seriously, you're the best friend I never had."

"It's a pleasure. You can be really headstrong, I have to say, but I love you too, and I'm so glad you came into our lives."

Before the sweet moment could prolong, they smelled a bad odour in the air.

"Eunbi, God," she cursed, covering her nose with a hand, "you always pick the worst moment."

Johnny laughed loudly, raising her up by the armpit so she wouldn't cause more trouble by sitting.

"Let's change this messy girl, and then let's book the room for the two love birds," Johnny said, standing up and walking toward the changing table.

Two days passed quickly, and it was already Friday, Taeyong's birthday. Luckily for them, he had to work all day at the bakery. So they could prepare what they had in mind without worrying about him.

It was early evening and Jaehyun and Johnny were blowing some balloons while Eunbi stared at them in awe, and Scarlett and Doyoung were in the kitchen.

"Where did you learn all that?" Doyoung asked, glancing swiftly at the woman that was shaping the napkins like roses.

"From one of my maiden. They were very nice and always took time to teach me some tricks they knew," she answered with a fond smile on her face and eyebrows knitted in concentration.

"Do you miss that?" He probed while cutting the tomatoes to make the Caprese.

Scarlett stopped what she was doing for a second, thinking about her life before. She tried to push that out of her mind most of the time, not like she really had time to dwell on that anyway. But also because she would get quite anxious about it, still scared that, as soon as she lowered the guard, her little patch of heaven on earth would've fallen apart.

"Not really," she replied, placing the last napkin with the others before walking to the cupboard to grab the red plates. "Just my mom, sometimes, and some handmaiden."

"Did she say anything about the baby?"

Scarlett sighed, hands pressed against the table, elbow bent outward, "I didn't see her when I found out, I... I don't even know if she knows."

"Why don't we change the subject," Jaehyun chimed, entering the kitchen, stilling behind her to leave a kiss on her temple. "Why don't you come to see if the balloons are enough and how to place them?" He knew that Doyoung meant no harm, but it still was a triggering topic for her, and he didn't want to see her break down or start to be anxious again.

She nodded before excusing herself out of the room, followed by her boyfriend.

"They are perfect," she exclaimed, looking at the red and green balloons. "Let's take one red in the middle and two green at the sides and then hang them somewhere." She illustrated, pointing at the corners of the room. "I'll be in the kitchen-" Just when she was about to say that, Eunbi started crying. She looked at the clock and sighed, "I will be the kitchen. I have to feed her."

"We can give her the formula," Jaehyun proposed, sensing she wasn't so excited about it.

"Yeah, you should save your own, you know," Johnny reminded her, raising a brow, and Jaehyun looked at them in confusion but didn't ponder long on it.

"Yeah, it's better if I give it to her later. Why don't you give her a slice of apple? She likes to suck on it. Just give it to her, and she'll handle it, she'll make a mess, but I have to change her into something else anyway."

"'Kay," Jaehyun shrugged, walking into the kitchen with her to place her in the highchair before grabbing an apple to cut it and peel it.

"Stay there. I'll take care of here!" Johnny shouted from the other room. Jaehyun thanked him and then handed the slice to Eunbi, that immediately stopped crying, "Why do you have to save milk?" Jaehyun asked, sitting down at the table next to Eunbi. She was happily sucking her apple while holding it in her little hand.

"I simply want to let her get used to other food," she answered, pulling out the ingredients she needed for the red velvet cake. "She'll have teeth soon, also."

Jaehyun nodded before wiping a string of saliva off of Eunbi's chin. She was already so big; it really felt like time was slipping out of their hands, and he somehow felt like he had lost so much. He hadn't been there when she was pregnant, and now he was always busy. He felt like a terrible father, no matter how much time he spent with her any time he could, even if it was just a few minutes.

"Do you like it?" He asked, pushing some curls out of her face. She nodded, stomping her free hand on the small table in front of her baby chair in happiness. "You didn't start doing it a long time ago, right?" He addressed Scarlett, terrified he had missed way more things of her.

"No, Jae," Scarlett reassured, turning around to caress his face. "I gave it to her for the first time this Monday. I didn't tell you because it slipped my mind. You feel like you're missing something?"

He nodded, humming lowly, "I know I won't be here on her first step or word."

"You didn't miss when she started crawling the first time or when she started lifting herself on her feet. And not even when she started to mumble some syllables and vocals. She loves you so much, Yoonoh. Please don't ever think you aren't good enough for her."

"She's always clinging to you when you're home," Doyoung intervened. "And you always cling to her. You are a great father."

"Need praises also from me, or you're fine?" Johnny asked, entering the room with the last set of balloons in hand, smiling fondly at his friend.

Jaehyun laughed, "I'm fine. Sorry if I want the best for her."

"Aren't we the best? She has like five parents and two cool uncles." Johnny bragged, patting Eunbi's head gently, drifting her attention to him for a second.

"Mark will be furious to hear you declassed him at uncle," Jaehyun replied, grabbing a towel to clean Eunbi's messy face.

"Let's be honest, if you leave her with him, she'll be the one taking care of the other," Johnny replied, defending his statement. "He's the older brother, and that's all he can get, right Bi?" He added, looking down at the baby. "Oh, she murdered the apple."

Eunbi giggled while her finger poked into the sloppy slice of apple.

"Okay, big soft daddy, clean her up while Doie and I finish the cake, or else Tae will be home, and nothing will be ready. We still have to cook bulgogi."

"I'll give her a bath since she has apple everywhere," Jaehyun noted, picking her up. "Did you already pick her dress?"

"Yes, it's the one in the bag in the closet. I brought it from work the other day."

"Renjun lets you do things for her while working? " Doyoung asked, surprised.

"Yeah, it didn't take much. Also, we sewed the clothes for the season at the start of the month, so we have free time."

"I think he's just whipped. When Taeyong worked there, he tried once to do something for him, and he almost fired him."

"Or maybe Taeyong wasn't as good as me at selling things that nobody would buy in their right state of mind," she joked, "This might give me some privileges," she added, pouring the red colouring into the dough before restarting to mix.

"And you're all cleaned up," Jaehyun exclaimed as he lifted Eunbi from her small bathtub and wrapped a towel around her body. He laid her on the bed and started to gently rub the soft material on her skin to dry her, and then grabbed a diaper.

"Are you happy?" He asked, blocking her ankles to lift her lower body up to slide the back of the diaper under her. "Giggling and moving your little legs," he continued, struggling to close the two ends of the nappy.

Once he finished, he started to tickle her, making her laugh louder and move her limbs faster.

"Oh," he faked stupor when she kicked his arm, making her stop for a while, "your legs are so strong," he praised while grabbing the bodysuit and making it slide on top of her head. "You're going to walk soon."

"Let's wear Mama's dress now," he cooed while taking the bag where the dress was neatly folded. It was a light red dress made of lines, with roses embroidered on the puffy shoulders and a bigger pop up one at the middle of her belly. "Do you like it?" He asked, lifting it for her to see.

"Mama does so much for you, doesn't she?" He made her sit up to slide the piece of fabric on her. "She gave up so much for you; I hope you'll never forget it or take it for granted." He was still incredulous of what she did just for them. She risked her life with the possibility to get caught and living an even harder life. He never knew that love could be so strong, but it was, and he was more than happy that it was her.

“And we’re done,” he said, lifting her up, wrapping an arm around her and putting the other things he didn’t use back at their place.

“Wow,” a feminine voice came from the door. Scarlett was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed on her chest and a sly smile on her face. “I did an amazing job with the dress,” she bragged, flipping her hair back.

“Well, yes,” Jaehyun agreed, chuckling, “it really is amazing.”

“The model adds ten points to it, doesn’t she?” She chirped, talking directly to Eunbi, that was sucking her hand closed in a fist.

“Why don’t you change too?” She proposed, grabbing Eunbi to put her in the stroller and giving her a toy to fool around. “There’s a matching fit for us.”

“Now we are that kind of couple?” He asked with a raised eyebrow and a laugh on his face.

“It’s just the same colour and fabric. I wanted to gift us something new.” She said, handing him another bag, “I didn’t even pay for it. It was the leftovers of a fabric Renjun didn’t want to use anymore.”

“Liar, you also embroidered roses on my shirt and your dress,” he pointed out after taking in the clothes that were in the bag.

“Let’s be cliché for once, can we?”

“I actually like this a lot,” Jaehyun said, pulling her into a hug, “I was expecting something terrible like ‘His Queen, her King,’ so I’m glad it’s not.”

“I’d never get that low,” she reassured, cringing at the mere idea, “now let’s get changed, Taeyong will be home soon.”

“This cake is so good,” Taeyong hummed happily after swallowing the last piece of his slice of red velvet, “I’m stealing you to work with me. Renjun doesn’t need you.”

Scarlett laughed, “It’s not that hard to make actually anybody could do it.”

“Not me,” Mark answered, throwing his hands up.

“You are a special case, Mark,” Yuta replied, “let’s keep you out of the kitchen forever.”

“Do you like the balloons? And the roses all around the room?” Johnny asked, face propped up by his hands under his chin. “Me, and Jaehyun, but mostly me, did it.”

Taeyong laughed and then cut another piece of the cake while answering, “I love it so much. I really wasn’t expecting a surprise party and came home tired from work, but you made my day.”

“It’s what you deserve, Tae,” Doyoung said, taking his hand in his. “You really thought we weren’t going to do anything?”

“Well, no, not like this at least. You’re also all wearing red, the roses are everywhere, and all the dishes were red. It’s so thoughtful.”

“I don’t have much to do when Miss energy lets me breathe,” Scarlett joked. “No, but seriously, it was funny. We spent some time together, and as Dodo said, you deserve this and more.”

The others around the table nodded silently, “Almost had to cut Mark’s hands off, but we had fun,” Doyoung joked, pouring a glass of wine into his glass.

“Hey, I was hungry! I had no idea you needed bread,” Mark defended.

“Good things you’re still all together, right?” Taeyong said, raising a brow. “And you’re fed now.”

“I’m quite content,” Mark beamed, tapping his full stomach.

“Talking about feeding,” Scarlett sighed, “She’s tired, she’s almost falling asleep on the chair. I have to breastfeed her and put her to sleep.” She turned the highchair around and took the tray off before freeing her from the safety belts.

“Why don’t you wait?” Jaehyun asked, helping her to lock the tray in place since she was holding Eunbi.

“She’s going to fall asleep for sure, and I don’t want her to wake up in the middle of the night because she’s hungry. I’m fine. I’m used to this after every meal by now.”

“Then let’s clean up, and then we’ll give Yong the gifts,” Yuta encouraged the others, standing up to pile up the empty dessert plates, followed by Mark that was grabbing the used napkins and forks.

“I’ll do the dishes,” Doyoung yelled, walking to the kitchen.

“Stay here,” Taeyong ordered when he saw that Jaehyun was about to stand up to help the others, “it’s rude to leave who’s eating alone,” he added, also pointing at Eunbi that was sucking on her mom’s breast with her eyes closed.

“We have to change her,” Jaehyun noted that she was still wearing the dress for the party.

“Let’s just pull this off and let her sleep with the bodysuit. It’s super hot anyway,” Scarlett answered.

“You two look absolutely wrecked,” Taeyong pointed out, staring at their tired faces, finally finishing the last piece of cake, “why don’t you go to sleep with her?”

“We can last a little bit longer, I promise,” Jaehyun comforted him, “We’ll wait for the gifts.”

“As you wish, just don’t pass out, please,” the celebrated begged, earning a laugh from the two.

“Why are you acting like this? Is there something wrong?” Jaehyun asked, voice low, as he changed into his pyjamas. They had just finished giving Taeyong his gifts and walked into their room, leaving the others still up in the living room, talking and having their fun. But they were too tired to join them any longer.

Scarlett bit her lips and walked closer to him, “I wish that I could tell you in a better way, as a surprise or something, but I can’t wait any more.”

Jaehyun widened his eyes, “You’re not waiting for number two, right? We did it only once. It can’t be possible.”

“Lord, no. What’s with this thing of hinting at another baby?” She mumbled through gritted teeth to not wake Eunbi up. “Also, I’m on the pill, so don’t worry.”

“Yeah, not like we have a chance to worry about it,” he snickered, hinting at how they never got the chance to do something.

“Well,” she started, fingers trailing down on his chest, “maybe if you wait just one day, we could.”

Jaehyun furrowed, staring down at her. “I’m confused.”

“I might have booked a room down at the port just for the two of us,” she confessed.

“That’s amazing but, what about Eunbi?”

“Johnny said he’ll take care of her with the others. He spent the whole afternoon trying to convince me, but we need it, not for /that/ but for us, to spend some time like a couple,” she said. “We never really got the chance to be one.”

“As long as they don’t leave her alone with Yuta and Mark, I guess I can spend some time with my lovely girlfriend,” he hummed, pretending to be considering the offer, and then pulled her close into a kiss.

“I feared you were going to break things up, to be honest,” she confessed.

“Over this?”

She nodded, wetting her lips, “Well, you didn’t want to when we talked about it. Maybe you were going to be mad since I spent money without considering it with you first.”

“I just want to prioritize her and you. But I guess you didn’t spend much, right? And also, we can still do so many things for the rest of the week once we’re back.”

“Yes, it’s super cheap and just for two nights, but it’ll get the job done.”

"Oh, I'm sure I'll enjoy even staying in a cave as long as I'm with you," he purred, kissing her neck eliciting a small whimper from her. He then pulled away and asked, “And what are the plans for tomorrow?”

“I wanted to take her to the beach in the early morning, just to enjoy the water for the first time. And then we can come back here and rest.”

“That sounds great, so it’s better if we go to sleep or we won’t wake tomorrow.”

The sea was flat, calm waves were crashing on the shore, and not many people were on the beach. Most of them were eating breakfast by the seaside, enjoying the beautiful view the land offered.

Scarlett was holding Eunbi in her arms wearing a flower-patterned bucket hat to protect her head, the stroller left in the car to not get the sand in the wheels, and Jaehyun was holding a bag with the sunscreen and water.

“It’s beautiful here,” she exclaimed in awe, the oversized floppy sun hat covering half of her face. It was always better to hide a little bit, never knowing who could be watching.

“It is, the sand is super thin, and the water is clear. Try to put Eunbi down and see what she does,” Jaehyun suggested.

“She’s probably going to try to eat the sand,” she joked, seating Eunbi down, kneeling next to her. She could sit by herself, but it was a different ground, and it was always better to be careful. Sometimes she would get too excited over her little achievements and fall face forward, not controlling her energy.

Eunbi stilled, looking at her mom with big eyes as her legs moved against the new surface, trying to get used to it. The denim dress protected more of her from direct touch with the sand, but she still felt it under her calves and feet.

“She doesn’t seem to like it,” Jaehyun pointed out, seeing her confused expression and curious hands trying to touch it before swiftly pulling away. “Maybe she’ll like water more.”

“Let’s see,” Scarlett replied, picking her up again and heading toward the shore. “Oh, the temperature it’s nice,” she affirmed as soon as her feet met the surface. She then lowered the baby so that her toes could come in contact with the sea.

A giggle escaped from Eunbi’s lips as she started to kick her feet playfully against the liquid.

“See, she does the same when we wash her up,” Jaehyun said. “We should see if there’s a swimming class somewhere in town, she might need to know how to swim.”

“I don’t know how to swim,” Scarlett admitted, lifting her eyes on him for a moment.

“You don’t know?” Jaehyun almost yelled in shock, blinking his eyes rapidly.

“You want me to list all the things I have never done so you might get an immediate heart attack and make me become a young widow, or do you want to spread them in time?”

“No, thanks, I’ll wait,” he replied, “but seriously, you don’t know?”

Scarlett shook her head before signalling him to grab Eunbi because her arms were tiring, “I know how to float, moving my legs to don’t drown, but I never properly learned. I had no time for it.”

He tried to suppress his still shocked expression and grabbed Eunbi so that she was sitting on his hip, “Let’s walk,” Jaehyun said, and they started to walk down the seashore. “Why, though? They don’t consider it vital at court?”

“I had better things to do, like learning how to dance, or how to use religion to make citizens believe they could trust us, or how to properly sit at a table,” she rolled her eyes, “you don’t live without these things.”

Jaehyun laughed, “How did you survive before I came there?” He asked, kind of out of the blue, but he was really curious. For some reason, she had always been very vague about her life at the castle before him.

She sighed, trying to think how her life was back then, “I don’t know,” she confessed. “I made friends with my maiden, mostly. Especially one that was my caretaker since I was a child, she taught me so many useful things, I’m so glad I had her in my life.”

“Was it Nadia?” He asked, trying to get if it was one of the ones he knew.

“No, her name was Irina,” she replied, intertwining their hands together. “She looked so cold, with her blonde hair, crystal eyes and pale skin. Her thin lips were always pressed together in a severe expression, and she always stood tall and proud,” she remembered with an affectionate smile on her face. “I can say she was my first bodyguard; nobody dared to come close to me when she was standing by my side,” she chuckled, thinking how she scared everyone away with a single glance.

“And were you also afraid of her?” He asked, turning around to stare at her.

“When I first saw her, yes,” she admitted, “she was wearing a navy blue dress, her hair was pulled in a low bun, never a single strand out of place and had a cane that terrified me. But as soon as we got left alone, I found out that she was the sweetest soul ever.”

“How old were you?”

“Five. She had to stay with me when I finished the morning lessons and just make sure I would always study. But she was much more than that, she basically raised me and also protected me. She was my best friend before you,” she smiled. “Even if she was already in her fifty.”

“Why did I never meet her? She doesn’t sound like somebody that goes unnoticed,” he questioned. He knew everybody there, he had to, just to know who he could trust and where everybody was supposed to be.

“Well, the main reason why you got the job was that she passed away,” she whispered. “As I said, she was the one protecting me, and when she suddenly died, my dad needed a quick replacement. And thank God it was you.”

“Oh, so you didn’t hate me when we first met,” he mumbled, only now getting why she seemed so distant at the start.

She nodded, “I never hated you. But her death came like a bolt from the blue, and I wasn’t in the mood to make new friends,” she cleared her throat, forcing herself not to cry. “I was also surprised my dad had chosen you. You were so young back then.”

“You do know that I’m just two years older than you, right? Will you stop treating me like a grandpa?”

“Shut up, I know!” she exclaimed, “but you were only twenty, and my father never let anyone this young in court for those roles, even worst near me.”

“Maybe he had a point seeing what happened,” he joked.

“It took us more than two years to do something,” she answered, “and it only happened because it was you. If my bodyguard had the same personality of we know who, nothing would’ve happened.”

“So my charm was fatal,” he teased, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“It was, I mean, we couldn’t be together but damn if you looked good in those uniforms,” she chuckled, teasingly biting her lower lip at the memory.

“Oh, you’re underestimating the power of my fisherman suit, baby,” he joked.

She laughed, “You look good even in a dustbin bag, to be honest.”

“Okay, an unexpected compliment, but I’ll take it.”

“Ba,” Eunbi mumbled suddenly, hand caressing Jaehyun’s face and looking at him after finally drifting her gaze from the sea.

Jaehyun smirked and looked over at Scarlett that was shaking her head vigorously. “No, no, that’s not a full word, it doesn’t count.”

“But it’s closer to Baba, or Papa, or whatever she wants to call me,” he affirmed.

“Maybe she was just making a popping sound,” she said, “right, love? You were just making bubbles with your mouth.”

“She looked at me,” he highlighted.

“You are holding her, of course she’ll look at you,” she retorted with an offended expression on her face.

“Ouch,” Jaehyun exclaimed when the child pulled his ears laughing loudly, “What are you laughing at?” He cried, staring at Scarlett in disbelieve.

“We are fair,” she replied, raising her hands in the air, “that’s the price you have to pay if you want her to ‘say your name,’” she mimicked the quotes with her hands.

“Stop it,” he whined, gently moving Eunbi’s hands away even if she kept laughing and tried to touch him again.

“At least she doesn’t pull your hair,” Scarlett looked on the bright side, “for now.”

“And let’s hope it’ll stay that way,” he replied, moving her to the other side so that now she was between them. “We should head back home now. Maybe we could get an ice cream at the shop before leaving.”

“Yes, why not,” Scarlett agreed, and they started to walk toward the dock.

After a few minutes, they arrived at the closest shop. Eunbi was sitting in the stroller playing with the toys on the guardrail in front of her while they checked out what the shop offered.

“Flavours?”

“Call me basic, but cream and chocolate,” she answered, “no wait, tiramisù.”

“Yeah, basic, but it’s fine.”

“Oh, what are you going to get, Mister unpredictable taste?”

“Pistachio and chocolate.”

“Not only basic but also with terrible taste,” she criticized with a disgusted expression on the face.

“Shut up and let me order.”

“Has she ever tried it before?” Jaehyun asked. They were now sitting on a table right out of the shop that faced the ocean enjoying their food.

“Nope, we can give it to her now,” she said, filling the small spoon and giving her the chocolate. Eunbi immediately opened her mouth and then made a funny expression as soon as the cold food met her tongue, squeezing her eyes shut and pressing her lips together. But after the first shock, she swallowed it and leaned close to the spoon again to get some more.

“The cold doesn’t bother her,” Jaehyun joked, “wait, I’ll give her mine,” he said, stopping Scarlett that was about to feed her again.

“Don’t you dare give her the pistachio! I don’t want her to side with the enemy,” she warned with a fake stern tone.

“I was planning to give her chocolate, but you know what, I might also do that just to spite you.”

“I can’t stand you,” she swore, throwing her head back.

Jaehyun laughed and then stuck his tongue out, “Blah, blah, you love me.”

“And you give her milk just before she goes to bed, okay?” Scarlett finished explaining. “Oh, and wait, always change her diapers before putting her to sleep even if she doesn’t do anything and -”

“Scarlett,” Taeyong stopped her, “we are here with you every day. We already know how to look after her.”

She stammered, “I just, fine, I’m sorry.”

“She’ll be fine,” Jaehyun assured her, running his hands on her forearms to guide her toward the door where their bags were.

“One last kiss,” she said before turning on her heels to kiss Eunbi on the forehead in Taeyong’s arms.

They rolled their eyes at the nth kiss she gave her, but a smile soon appeared on their faces when the baby kissed her back.

“Okay, bye,” she greeted, siding Jaehyun again. “Take care.” And after that, they closed the door behind them, placed the bags in the car and started driving downtown.

The sun was shining, and the sky was clear over the city but on the ocean, clouds could be seen and a stronger wind blew that day.

“It’s going to rain by the end of the day,” Jaehyun noted as his eyes drifted from the road for a few seconds to look up.

“That’s what happens when we take time to ourselves,” she joked as she stared out of the window. The ride downtown wasn’t going to take long, but it was nice to take time to watch the small town and its typical shops. Rare were the times when she walked around, a little bit because of the baby, but also because she always tried to keep it low. The walk to the tailor shop was the only time she would go out and rarely to the market with Taeyong.

Jaehyun looked over at her when they stopped at a red light, and caressed her hand on her thigh with his thumb. “She’ll be fine.”

“I know,” she replied, focusing the gaze on him, “I’m not worried for her.”

“And for what then?” He asked, starting the car again as soon as it turned green.

“I’m not worried at all,” she said calmly, fixing a crease on her dress, “I’m excited,” she concluded, smirking at him.

Jaehyun furrowed his brow and tilted his head, “Uhm, in what meaning? Like excited for Christmas or horny?”

She laughed, throwing her head back, “If I have to be honest, both,” she said, turning her torso toward him, back resting against the car door, “but I meant the first one more. This is basically our first date,” she giggled.

Jaehyun nodded with a big smile on his face, realizing that their relationship didn’t have one normal thing.

“Like I can’t believe we had a child before of a date,” she added.

“Well, in our defence, we had better things to do than go out for a date.”

“Like?”

“Listening to your father talk about foreign policy at breakfast, lunch and dinner while I stood behind you like a statue or picking what fabric fitted the best for the curtains in the hall.”

She laughed, “Oh please, but we had fun.”

“Your idea of fun was messing around like a Princess wasn’t supposed to do, and I had to babysit you,” he corrected.

“You had fun too,” she puffed, rolling her eyes, “remember when we entered the kitchen at night and stole food and the chef almost caught us?”

Jaehyun glared at her, “He did catch us,” he corrected, “and he also thought we were thieves, and I clearly remember the knife he threw at us.”

She laughed, “but he didn’t catch us.”

“He told the King, and he doubled the security in the kitchen just to protect his turkey, Scarlett,” he reminded her but then broke down laughing. “And we had to hold in our laugh right in front of him, God what even was that?”

“He turned it into the main topic of the night,” she laughed, “he probably loved his food more than he ever loved me.”

“He probably even loved his food more than himself and the country and your mother.”

“Fair, he’ll bring a chicken in his casket. Oh, we’re here,” she cheered as soon as the sign of the tavern came into their view. They parked in the lot and went inside, carrying their two suitcases with them.

“Good morning, and welcome to the White Sand Hotel. I’m Colette, and you’ll find me, or my colleagues, always here at the reception,” a brown-haired girl greeted as soon as they reached the front desk, she had a bright smile on her face and her hair was neatly collected in a long braid that fell on one side of her neck.

“Good morning, we booked a room for two nights at the name of Jeong,” Jaehyun informed, reciprocating the smile.

“Sure, let me check,” she answered and scrolled down on the screen to look for them, “Here you are. Room number 12, the twelfth on the corridor at your right."

“Thank you,” they bowed before heading to their room.

“Wow, it’s pretty,” Scarlett commented as soon as she opened the door and studied the room. The walls were light blue with small paintings to decor them, the bed was against the wall and had white bedding while a big window was at its left, giving a perfect view of the sea. There was a small closet with sea-themed decors and two bedside tables. Johnny was right, it wasn’t big or luxurious, but it was nice. “There should be the bathroom,” she said, pointing at a door after the closet.

“Not much bigger than ours, but it’s beautiful,” Jaehyun admired, looking around and closing the door behind him.

Scarlett ran toward the window to look outside. “We can see the boardwalk from here. It’s going to be so beautiful at night. We could go out after dinner and walk on the seashore and then come back here and then-” Her words stopped as soon as Jaehyun grabbed her chin and crashed their lips together in a soft but long kiss.

“Now that’s better,” he whispered when he pulled away, still just inches away from her.

“Sorry I talk too much,” she murmured.

“No, I like when you talk a lot, but I wanted to save your breath by saying that we can do anything you want,” he smiled before kissing her again. “God, your lips are so soft,” he whispered, deepening the kiss and letting his hands roam on her body. A low moan rolled out of her lips as they started to walk behind toward the bed. When the back of her knees hit the mattress she let her body fall behind, pulling Jaehyun on top of her, but when he was about to lift her dress his phone rang.

“Ugh,” he cursed, still leaving trails on her neck.

“Jaehyun,” she called in a stern voice, “answer.”

“No,” he protested.

“Maybe it’s them, for Eunbi,” she insisted, pushing him off. Jaehyun huffed, pulling the phone out of his pocket in annoyance as he sat on the edge of the bed, but when Johnny’s name appeared on the mobile his expression turned into worry.

“Johnny? Is everything alright?” He asked, recomposing his voice.

“Damn, yeah, don’t be so worried,” the voice, now put on speaker, said. “We just wanted to know if you arrived safe and sound.”

The couple rolled their eyes, pissed that he made them think of the worst possible case scenario.

“Yes, we arrived just now. We told you we would’ve texted,” Jaehyun answered.

“Just wanted to make sure,” Johnny replied. “And you didn’t.”

“We entered the room now,” they said in unison.

“Oh, what a nice choir,” he joked.

“How’s Eunbi?” Scarlett asked, ignoring him.

“She’s fine, playing on the floor with Taeyong. I think he’s having more fun than her.”

“Oh, good, as long as yall are fine, we're tranquil,” she said, sitting better on the bed.

Johnny hummed and then said, “I’ll hang up, bye,” without giving them time to say anything back.

They looked at each other and started laughing at how random the call had been.

“I’m going to kill him one day,” Jaehyun joked, stretching his arms over his head.

“If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be here now,” she recalled him.

“He just interrupted something to hang up two seconds later, didn’t even pass Eunbi.”

“She can’t talk. What is she going to say to you? Go go ba ba?” Scarlett smiled, crawling toward him to sit on his lap.

“Yeah, we have great conversations even with only those sounds,” he replied before leaning in to kiss her, but before the situation could get heated again, Scarlett pulled away.

“Why don’t we shower and then go to the art and crafts open market? Johnny told me that the stands have interesting things.”

“Sure, I’d love to,” he answered, kissing her nose and then standing up, lifting her with him.

“Stop, I’m heavy,” she complained, moving in his arms.

“I’m not listening,” he ignored her, walking to the bathroom, “and stop struggling, you’re going to slip and get hurt."

She huffed and gave up, “Fine, but it’s not fair you always win."

A deep laugh rumbled in his chest, “Not my fault you are whipped."

The night had fallen on the city that was now lit up by all the lights of the shops, houses and street’s lamppost. The hot weather left its place to cooler air that promised rain and thunders flashed at the horizons lighting up the sea.

After a whole day walking around, they were sitting at the end of the boardwalk swinging their feet in the salty water. They had dinner and then called home to greet goodnight and check up on how their day had been, and now they were almost alone, just a few people were chilling on the beach behind them.

“How’s the other side?” Scarlett asked all of a sudden, breaking the comfortable silence between them while they simply enjoyed each other presence. The other country wasn’t really visible at night, apart from its lighthouse that shined in the distance, but she couldn’t help but wonder about how life was there.

Jaehyun shifted in his place to get closer to her, tightening the hold on her waist and then answered, “Opportunities,” he simply stated, with a mix of sadness and heaviness in his tone. His brown eyes were staring at the distance, getting lost in a city he couldn’t see but could remember vividly.

She snuggled closer to his chest and started playing with the end of his shirt. “Like job opportunities?”

He shrugged, bringing his gaze back on her, “Just a better life, I guess.”

“And why you didn’t move there?”

He sighed, “That was the plan initially, make some money and then leave even further away, but then I found them, and I didn’t want to go anymore,” he paused, lacing their hands together. “And a part of me wanted to be found. Even by your father, I couldn’t care if he would’ve killed me, I wanted to see you again,” he admitted, and she pulled away to look at him in the eye. “I knew I had to let you go, but... I couldn’t.”

“And now? Would you leave?”

“Now? Now that I have you?” He snorted.

“Yeah, you said there are more opportunities there, a better life.”

He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek and then answered, “Definitely, but you still have to be someone. The merchants there are rich, the clothes they wear are not much different from the ones they wear at court. The cold doesn’t bother them in winter, and the hot doesn’t make them sweat in summer. The supplies never lack, and the sea seems sweeter on the other side.”

“So it is better,” she replied, trying to meet his eyes, but his head was low, facing toward the reflecting surface.

“They look at you up and down, Scarlett,” he said, taking her hand in his again and raising his head, “And they love gossip much more than here. They are in everybody’s business, and I don’t want to live more in fear than how we already live now. It’s like a whole town of super rich people with big houses and dogs that never asked to be styled the way they do.”

At his words she felt a lump form in her throat; just how far the rumours reached? “Do they know about me?”

“Something arrived for sure, I can’t tell you if they paid much attention, but they know. They work, not saying otherwise, but they have much more free time than people here. It’s like an open court, and I don’t want to live in a place like that anymore,” he explained. “But why are you asking? Do you want to leave?”

She shook her head, pressing her lips in a thin line, “No, I like it here, but I was just wondering how it is somewhere else.”

“There’s a nicer town in this country if you want to travel around,” he informed, “but it’s better to go there in winter.”

“How much have you travelled when you were away?” She asked, chuckling, shaking her hair out of her forehead with a swift shake of the head.

“I also travelled with you, but we rarely got the chance to see any town we’ve been in,” he reminded her. “Maybe we could try to save some money and go there this winter for the holidays.”

“It’s okay, Jay,” she reassured, caressing his cheek, “Christmas here feels like home: with Mark burning the kitchen down, Eunbi crying for no reason, snow blocking the fireplace, tv not working because of the storm, the tree's balls of thousands different colours because it’s a miracle we got to put them together.”

He giggled and pulled her in, making her sit on his lap, kissing her softly, “I love you,” he mumbled in the kiss.

“I love you, too,” she replied, intertwining her hands in his long wavy hair.

“Fuck,” he cursed, tightening the hold around her waist, “I need you,” he pleaded, pulling away from the kiss to stare at her: the faint silver light of the moon reflecting on her brown skin, softening her features, the warm lights of the lampposts sparkling in her eyes, and the wind blowing her hair out of her face.

“Me too, but not here,” she replied, smiling slyly, getting up and fixing the crease of her long blue satin dress, high heels in hand. “Catch me,” she teased, raising a brow and wetting her lips with her tongue, in a gesture that was anything but chaste.

Something in his eyes shifted and a playful smirk painted on his face too before they started running on the boardwalk, toward their place for the night.

Scarlett was the first one to reach the hotel and immediately ran to their room after seeing that he was getting closer. Rushing in the corridor, she opened the door, but before entering, she unclasped her bra and threw it on the ground, right outside the entrance and left it ajar behind her. There wasn’t much place to hide, but the folding screen next to the mirror seemed like the better option to still have room to run away if he saw her.

“Oh, so we’re doing it seriously,” Jaehyun hummed as soon as he entered the room and saw no sign of her, the bra she left out of the door still in his hand. He turned the knob and locked the door. “In the trap,” he sang, the smirk on his face visible in her mind even if she couldn’t see.

“Come on, babe, there’s not much space to run here,” he teased, and with a swift movement, he moved the curtains, expecting her to be there, but much to his surprise, there was nobody there. He laughed and then walked to the closet opening it without saying a word, but she wasn’t there either, and not even in the bathroom or under the bed. Looking around the room, he finally saw the last place where she could be.

“Oh, oh, what a shame, little lamb, I guess your race has come to an end,” he cooed, moving the screen, but instead of her, there were just discarded lace panties. He furrowed and then snickered as he picked them from the floor and put them in his pocket and looked around the room. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Babe, you’re playing a dangerous game with me tonight.”

Scarlett rolled her eyes and tried to suppress any sound as she could only see his feet moving around from the position she was hiding.

“I might give you something you love if you come out of your hiding,” he said, circling the bed to reach the curtains again. “Maybe you’re not here,” he faked when he heard a sound coming from the bed. A smug grin crept on his face as he walked to the door, he opened it and then closed it but hid behind the closet.

Scarlett didn’t see him anymore and decided to come out of her hiding spot, but as soon as her legs came out of the bed his cold hand wrapped around her ankles, making her freeze on the spot.

“Tag, you’re it,” Jaehyun whispered with his low voice before pulling her out of the bed.

“Hi,” she said, innocently batting her lashes.

“Oh, no, sweetie,” he cooed, cupping her chin, “it’s not going to work,” he whispered against her lips before kissing her harshly. He swiftly pulled away to lift her up and throw her on the mattress, climbing on it after her, his eyes staring at her as if she was a pray.

“What’s not going to work? Have I done something wrong?” She asked, tilting her head to the side, the innocence in her eyes in total contrast to the pose of her body, her feet planted on the mattress as her legs were open, the dress easily rolling up on her smooth skin, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Jaehyun was kneeling at the end of the bed and his eyes briefly looked down between her legs just to look up again, innocence gone, replaced by a sly smirk and lust-filled brown eyes looking back at him. “You’re playing with fire, babe, and you’re going to get hurt,” he susurrated, crawling to her, hands pushing her down against the mattress by the shoulder.

“Oh, I’m terrified,” she joked, covering her mouth with a hand to pretend to be shocked. Then she reached for his fully clothed dick and traced the outlines of his growing boner, palming and pressing against it just the time for him to lose control and for her to slip out of his hold.

Jaehyun stilled for a second before turning around and seeing her on the other side of the room. She was teasingly staring at him with a smirk on her face while her hands played with her hardening nipples through the thin fabric of the dress, eyes keeping the contact.

“Oh, so you want to play some more,” he cooed, sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand behind him to support his body, the other on his thigh. “And where do you think you can run?” He asked, looking around the room before going back to her. He got up and started walking to her, but right when he was close to reaching her, she ran on the bed again.

“Ring around the rosy now, seriously?” He asked, wetting his lips and raising a brow.

“You found me too soon,” she whined, walking backwards when he crawled on the bed to get to her, “there was no fun.”

“I think you had just enough,” he retorted, trying to block her way out with his body.

She sprung to the bathroom door but Jaehyun was faster at reaching her, slamming their bodies against the wall.

He smirked and then whispered against her ear, “Got you.”

He raised her, hands under her thighs to hold her up and walked to the bed again. She sat there, legs just partly open and teasing eyes looking at him. “Don’t run away babe, my patience is wearing thin,” he warned, kneeling between her legs, upper body hovering over her.

“I’ll be good this time, I promise,” she winked.

Jaehyun snickered, fingers hooking the strap of the dress, “I’d tear this off if I didn’t know you spent hours doing it, so I’ll be gentle,” he said, pushing it down her shoulder, “for now.”

Once she was naked in front of his eyes, he did the same with his own clothes and then leaned down to kiss her, his body caging her.

“So,” he whispered, lips against the skin of her neck, “since you like to play,” he raised his eyes meeting hers, “let’s see how much you can take.”

“I could surprise you,” she answered back, hands running on his shoulder. But with a swift movement, Jaehyun grabbed her wrist and pulled them over her head, tying his belt around them, careful not to hurt her but tight enough she couldn’t get free.

A gasp of surprise rolled out of her mouth as she stared at him with wide eyes.

He winked and said, “Let’s see what you can do now, ugh?”

“That’s not fair,” she whined, struggling.

“Oh, there’s no use, love, and if you keep going, you’re probably going to hurt yourself.”

“Are you going to set me free?”

“Later, maybe,” he said, “if you act like a good girl.”

A pout formed on her lips, but she stilled the movements of her arms, waiting for him to go on and show her what he had in mind.

Jaehyun smiled and then started licking her left nipple while his hand played with the other, soliciting moans out of her mouth. He knew her boobs were still extremely sensible, so he decided to use it at his advance. It was difficult to concentrate on the nub without sucking out milk but just licking made shivers run down her spine.

“Jae, please,” she moaned, arching her back to push more into him.

“Calm baby,” he warned, lifting his head up, “now I want to play.”

“I didn’t tease you,”

He raised a brow before sinking his teeth lightly on the flesh of her sideboob, making her yelp in pleasure. “No? Leaving your underwear around is not teasing? Touching me and then running around is not teasing? Playing with your nipples is not teasing?” He asked, fingers trailing down on her body till they reached her most sensitive spot. A breathless gasp left her open-mouthed when his thumb pressed down on her clit. “Tell me, babe,” he urged. “Tell me how that’s not teasing?”

She whined and shut her eyes close, “I’m sorry, I’m not going to do it anymore.”

“Oh, trust me, I’ll make sure you won’t,” he replied, standing up, the warmth of his body leaving her to the heat of the summer. His hand laid on her bent knees and pushed her legs open before sinking between her thighs. He looked up from behind her mound while he left an open-mouthed kiss on her pussy. She felt more heat rush between her legs and had to throw her head back, harshly biting her lips to suppress a lewd sound that was closer to a growl than a moan.

“No, angel,” he called, “you look at me as I devour you,” he ordered and started to move his tongue on her wet folds, collecting her juice and then sucking on her clit. She forced her head up and her eyes open to stare into his that were filled with lust as he pleased her, but it was hard and slightly uncomfortable since she couldn’t use her arms to lift her upper body up.

She knew she should’ve suppressed her moans, but it was also the only time she could be a little bit loud, and it was the first time they had some action in six, maybe seven months honestly, she couldn’t remember. So she didn’t really want to keep quiet.

“Fuck, babe,” she moaned, digging her nails in the palm of her hand.

“You like that?” He mumbled against her, fingers parting her lips to get better access, his tongue slipping past her entrance.

She moaned louder at the new intrusion and squeezed her eyes shut before forcing them open again, gaining a content hum from Jaehyun.

“I’m close,” she whined, involuntarily pushing her thighs around his head as the orgasm drew closer and closer.

“Go on then,” he encouraged, moving his mouth faster on her, nose teasing her clit just right to send her over the edge. The climax washed over her while she let her head fall behind, feeling the rush run all over her body.

Jaehyun crawled up once he finished helping her ride the orgasm and kissed her roughly. His fingers travelled down her body and dipped into her taking her breath away.

“Oh, too much,” she cried in the kiss.

“Two rounds are too much for you?”

“No, but, fuck,” she cursed, lolling her head back again when he started moving inside of her. The stretch of two fingers was a little bit uncomfortable at the intrusion but nice now that her walls welcomed him well.

“As I imagined,” he smirked, looking down at her. Her eyes were now closed while her head was thrown back, lips parted letting out low whimpers. His fingers started to pump faster as his thumb tortured her clit, causing her to snap her eyes open. “Too much for you, baby?” He teased with a smug smirk on his face. “My pretty angel can’t take it?”

She shook her head and started struggling again against the belt. She just wanted to touch him, feel him even closer, but she couldn’t.

“It’s good,” she slurred, “but I need you,” she cried and then bit her lips to muffle more moans that were menacing of coming out.

“You have me, I’m right here,” he replied, but he knew damn well what she wanted.

“No,” she whined, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Come for me again and I’ll free you from this,” he urged.

A groan was the only response he got but they both decided to focus on the pleasure.

Jaehyun started to move faster in and out, curling his fingers to reach the spot inside her that made her see stars, and the movement on the clit got faster. The sounds filling the room were lewd, skin slapping against skin and wetness pooling down on the sheets. And she could feel the knot on her stomach form again, but this time it felt different, lower and more intense. And just when she thought it couldn’t become more than that, Jaehyun pressed her leg against her chest, and the new position didn’t give her the time to warn him before she came squirting all over his hand, arm and chest, making a mess also on the sheets and her legs.

“Fu-uck,” she whimpered as he kept going, fucking her dry, until her legs were shaking and she started curling against him, chants of ‘no more, no more,’ spilling out of her mouth. And just when he made sure he had got every last drop out of her, he pulled out and stood up. She was dishevelled, already putty in his hand, mascara’s stains on her cheeks, plump red lips, and messy hair on the pillow and her forehead.

“Beautiful,” he praised before moving to unbuckle his belt and finally set her free. She smiled, stretching her arms a little before throwing them around his neck to pull him into a heated kiss. They kissed for what felt ages, lips crashing against each other with eagerness, hands intertwined in each other and legs tangled together.

“Can you take one more?” Jaehyun asked in the middle of the kiss as he ground his hard dick against her throbbing clit.

She nodded, “Yes, need you inside.” And spread her legs more so he could have better access. He smiled and then entered her with ease in one thrust, bottoming against her ass and stilled for a second. She threw her head back while he let his fall against her shoulder and started moving slowly.

“Feel so good,” he mumbled against her neck, biting at her skin lightly.

It felt different than all the other times. More romantic, more intimate. It was just the two of them, nobody else that could hear them, nobody else that could pull them apart. There wasn’t the fear that their story brought along seeping in their bones. No more skeletons of the past ready to jump at their throat. No hand was promised to a prince that really believed she could be the one. No talk of the streets could get between them.

No sad thoughts fogged their mind now. Jaehyun didn't need to make it last longer to have her close because the sunlight would’ve brought her away from him. And she didn’t have to beg for him to stay in her bed anymore. There was just love and hope for the future.

Jaehyun kissed her again and again, while their hips moved in a perfect rhythm to meet each other halfway. The room was filled with their low moans and whispers and the sound of their skin slapping together while outside the storm finally broke down.

“Faster, please,” she moaned, arching her hips higher to get even more friction. No matter how sensible she was down there and how close to exploding again she felt, she wanted more and wanted that to last forever.

Jaehyun hummed and started moving faster. He grabbed the back of her knees and placed her legs around his waist so he could reach deeper. And she let out a loud moan before digging her nails in his back, surely leaving marks.

“Fuck,” he cursed, throwing his head back and starting to thrust faster and faster in her.

“’m close,” she cried, squeezing her eyes shut.

“’m almost there. Can you wait for me?” He asked, pressing their forehead together, nose to nose.

She nodded and tried to control her orgasm.

Jaehyun left a peck on her lips and then sneaked a hand between their bodies to play with her clit.

“Can’t take it anymore,” she whined, biting her lower lip.

“Come with me, love,” he urged, “Come.”

And in a second, the orgasm hit them both, fogging their mind as they kissed each other eagerly.

They laid there in silence for a while, their breaths and the raindrops against the window the only audible sound in the night. Scarlett’s head was resting on Jaehyun’s chest, right over his heart, and he was playing with her hair, twirling a curl in his finger and then letting go.

She tilted her head to look up at him, cheek still pressed against his chest and smiled before turning how she was before.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, the smile on his face could be heard in his voice.

“That we almost risked to don’t have all of this,” she replied, fingers tracing patterns on his lightly tanned skin.

“Well, guess we deserve this after everything we’ve been through.”

She hummed, “To be honest, I never thought I’d meet the love of my life like that.”

Jaehyun raised a brow, “And how?”

“Well,” she said, lifting her torso to look at him, “When I was a child, I really did believe in fairy tales. I thought that there was nothing more romantic than marrying a Prince and living in a castle that would’ve been all ours while reigning a country. I was naïve, I thought royals seriously cared about something more than themselves and money.”

“And then? What happened?”

“I opened my eyes and saw how terrible reality is.”

“I thought you were going to say that you met Donghyuck,” he joked.

“Oh, yeah, also,” she laughed. “But seriously, even when you arrived at the palace, I never imagined it was going to end like this.”

Jaehyun nodded, lips pressed against each other and then gathered the courage to ask what was haunting him, “Can I ask you when, why and how you fell in love with me?”

“Wow, very specific,” she chuckled but then started to think. “Probably the night we danced together for the first time,” she said, smiling fondly at the memory. “Do you remember?”

He chuckled, “How can I forget? You pouted the whole night, they made you meet too many Princes, and you were furious,” he laughed, “And worst of it all, nobody wanted to dance with you,”

“So you asked me to dance,” she finished, beaming.

“And you looked at me with eyes full of fear, I can say it now, I thought I had crossed the line and that you were going to fire me,” he admitted, “but then you took my hand and said that nothing good starts with a dance.”

She nodded, her lips curled up in a melancholic grin, “I was thinking thousands of things. I don’t know what happened that night, but I started seeing you in a different light. I thought about our conversations and then the ones with the Princes and knew that nothing could come close to you, not even a noble title, not even a crown.”

“But you were scared.”

“I was,” she agreed, “We had just become friends, and I didn’t want to make things worst by falling for you. But then we danced the whole night, and you kept whispering funny things in my ear about all the snotty duchess and dukes, and I slipped a little.”

Jaehyun grinned, “So, I guess I’m a good dancer.”

“Oh, you are,” she answered, smiling at the memory. “And you looked so good in your red suit, with your brown hair slicked back, hands behind your back, and head high. You’ve always been the prettiest face that castle ever welcomed.”

“A little bit biased, aren’t you?”

“No, when you first arrived at court, some duchess and court women thought you were my promised husband, a Prince from a faraway land they have never seen before.”

“They manifested this, then,” he joked. “But after that night?”

“Nothing, I simply tried to push you out of my mind like that. You were my only friend. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“And then you couldn’t make it anymore.”

“No, but I thought that turning it into sex would’ve been a good compromise. I would’ve had you but not too much.”

“Terrible idea,” he sneered playfully, still caressing her scalp.

“Hey! We wouldn’t be here today.”

“Who knows?”

“You didn’t love me before that.”

“I couldn’t look at you other than the Princess I had to protect with my whole life, Scarlett,” he reminded her. “But why me?”

“I don’t think you can choose who you love, it just happens,” she looked up at him, “and you made me feel good, not sexually, but mentally. I couldn’t wait to finish the lessons to come and see you and rant to you about my day. The long trips to other cities weren’t annoying anymore because I had you by my side, and you always had stories to tell me and things to teach me. You listened to me, Yoonoh. You genuinely cared for me and my ideas, my random thoughts, and my passions. Nobody ever did that, well except for Irina, but she was like a mom for me, so.”

“Why you never told me before that you loved me?”

“I thought you didn’t love me back, and I didn’t want you to lose your job or make things harder. And you, when did you fall for me?”

He smiled, “During our two am talks,” he confessed, “I always knew you were more thoughtful than the rest, but at night you changed into a another person, and I understood that at the end, we weren’t so different from each other. I felt seen, I felt appreciated, and I felt warmth spread in my chest every time you laughed or smiled,” he stopped, thinking about their nights together, “I mean, look at us now, we are two bandits on the run from the law.”

She light-heartedly laughed at that, “I don’t think they’re looking for us anymore, but yeah, technically we are.”

They went silent for some minutes before she spoke again. “Can I ask you something now?”

“Sure.”

“Have you ever dated somebody else?”

“I did,” he admitted.

“Loved them?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. I was really young. I don’t know if you can call it love, more infatuation.”

She nodded before wetting her dry lips, “So it was different than this?”

He hummed, “Oh yes, it was. I never felt like I do with you with anybody else. And I know I’m never gonna love again if I had to lose you for whatever reason.”

"So, you don't regret anything that happened?" She sat up, turning a little to face him, that was now standing on his elbows.

Jaehyun shook his head to move the strands of hair out of his face and smiled, "I regret so many things I've done, but trust me, you will never be on that list."

She felt her eyes get watery and threw her head back to stop tears from falling.

"Oh, no, come on, I didn't mean to make you cry," he said, sitting straight to pull her in his embrace, "Come here."

Scarlett sniffed and then shook her head to regain composure, "I just never imagined that I could feel so much for someone and that someone could feel so much for me. It feels good to have you here, for real now. I'm not sure I'll get used to this anytime soon."

Jaehyun smiled before kissing her forehead and hugging her tightly. "Well, it is. And please, don't ever doubt my feelings for you.”

The morning light pierced through the window, hitting Jaehyun's back, lighting up his toned back. Scarlett shifted in her place to get closer to him and started kissing his neck while her hands roamed his muscular chest. She smiled as she heard him squirm and huff.

"Scarlett?" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes to adjust to the light.

"Who else could it be?" She whispered against his ear as her hands travelled south, hovering his morning boner making him moan. She kept placing kisses on his back while her hands teased him.

A groan escaped his lips when her hand wrapped around his length, pumping up and down slowly.

Jaehyun turned face to the ceiling and smirked, "Making up for the lost times?"

Scarlett hummed and moved down, leaving pecks on his abs as she hid under the covers.

"Yeah, actually, we haven't played hide and seek enough," he joked when she disappeared under the sheets before lifting them up to have a perfect view of her.

She grinned and then wrapped her lips around his cock, almost taking his full length in one go.

Jaehyun cursed, throwing his head back, and gripping the sheets at his sides. "Fuck, feels good."

She smiled and then started bobbing her head up and down, hollowing her cheeks and twirling her tongue on the tip, just like he liked it.

He forced his eyes open and watched her, her eyes were already looking up at him.

"You're so pretty like this," he praised through gritted teeth as he tried not to let the pleasure completely take over his brain. "But I want you."

She gave him a few more pumps and then pulled away with a lewd pop and smirked.

Scarlett crawled on top of him and lined up his dick on her opening, slowly sinking till she bottomed out.

"God," he moaned, lolling his head back and wrapping his hands around her waist. "You feel so good."

"I know," she winked before starting to move in a steady rhythm.

They kept a constant pace for a while, till the pleasure became too much and their thrust became erratic.

"I'm close," she moaned, clenching around him, as she tightened the hold on his shoulder, half-moons blooming on his skin.

"Fuck, me too," he slurred, trying to move better against her, and then touched her clit, sending both of them over the edge.

When the high passed, they stood there, in each other embrace, still panting heavily. She lifted her head from his shoulder and smiled. "Good morning, by the way."

Jaehyun laughed and rolled his eyes back, "You're surreal."

"I'm telling you, enjoy this freedom because nothing like this will happen back at home," Scarlett warned, leaning against the bathroom frame as she stared at Jaehyun that was sitting on the bed with food on the sheets.

"That's exactly why I'm doing it," he smirked, "we're never going to have so much fun anytime soon."

She rolled her eyes but walked toward him, dropping the robe to the ground, revealing her body, which was only covered with black lacy lingerie and a short lacy robe.

Jaehyun stared at her with his mouth open, and she shook her head. "You've seen my body thousands of times, don't act so surprised."

"I never get used to it, and sorry if I don't expect you to come out with this lingerie every time."

"Well, don't get used to it. I only have these four pieces, and I'm not going to walk around the house with a thong, so I hope you'll love me with my ugly and boring cotton white panties."

Jaehyun laughed, "I love you the most with your boring underwear."

"Good, because that's all I can offer," she chuckled, crawling to him to kiss him.

"So I guess this is a special occasion?" He winked, pointing to the chocolate bottle that was at the centre of the bed.

She stared at him in disbelief, "Seriously? Food play?"

He shrugged, "Why not? You didn't let me get my dessert at dinner, so maybe it's time."

She sighed, "You're really making it up for lost times."

"I'm not the one that came out of the bathroom like a tease," he defended, "I swear I had the best intentions for tonight. Just some sweets together while watching a movie, hoping that the small tv works."

She gasped, pretending to be offended, "Sorry, we can stick to your plan if you care so much about it."

He shook his head, and in a second, his body caged hers, "No, we're postponing. Dessert first, movie later."

She laughed when he attacked her neck, starting to kiss her, but he pulled away to get closer to the bottle he had eyed before.

"Just chocolate, Yoonoh," she ordered, glaring at him, already sensing he had other intentions.

And, as expected, he pouted, "Just one strawberry, please?"

She rolled her eyes but gave up, "Fine, but don't be too messy."

He smiled happily and pulled closer to him the basket with the red fruit. Scarlett raised her upper body and threw the robe to the ground, leaving the bra and panties the only thing to cover her. "Want me to get rid of those, too?"

He shook his head and then popped the bottle open, "Just lay there and let me do all the job," he reassured her and then started to pour the chocolate on the hollow of her boobs. She moaned loudly when the cold substance came in contact with her hot skin but maintained eye contact with Jaehyun. "If it feels uncomfortable, I'll stop," he said before lowering down.

"Just eat me up, baby. There might be something even sweeter waiting for you later," she whispered, voice low already filled with lust, as expectation raised in her.

Jaehyun gulped before flattening his tongue on her skin and slowly started to lick the chocolate from her skin, his eyes never leaving hers.

Scarlett rolled her head back when he poured some more on the uncovered part of her boobs and did it again and then again on her stomach. She didn't expect to enjoy it so much, but there was something so erotic about everything that she couldn't describe.

When he reached her mound, he stopped and hooking the band of the panties he pulled them down at an incredibly slow pace, so devastating that the brush of the fabric felt like fire on her skin.

He grabbed a strawberry and smeared some chocolate on top of it, but instead of placing it on her body, he crawled to her and said, "Can you hold it for me?"

She nodded, but not understanding what he really meant, and when his free hand was placed under her chin to part her lips, she felt her breath get knocked out of her lungs.

"Good girl," he praised, once the fruit was placed in her mouth, "Hold it for me while I eat you out."

She emitted a throaty sound as excitement rushed between her legs. She was basically gagged but couldn't bite down the strawberry, and she wasn't even so sure Jaehyun was going to be so nice to her.

He pushed her legs open and dived between her thighs, starting to trail kisses in the inner thigh while his fingers ghosted on the skin of her other leg and then on her neediest part. She wanted to squirm under him, begging for more with her body, but tried to keep still and let her senses go to his torture. It went on for what felt like minutes before he finally decided to pay attention to her throbbing clit. His movements were slow and precise; long licks on her folds and then intense sucks around her sensitive bud. Over and over. And she started to feel dizzy, as tears collected at the corner of her eyes, and she felt her lungs burn. There was something gruelling and painful about everything, and yet so good. And she felt so close to reaching her high when Jaehyun pulled away, leaving her speechless. She searched for his eyes, but he was turned around, at the feet of the bed, searching for something. He was holding something she couldn't see, and curiosity bubbled in her bones.

"Do you trust me?" Was everything he said, looking at her pleading, wet, eyes. And she nodded without hesitation.

Jaehyun smiled and then moved his hands out of his back, revealing his black tie to her. She wanted to complain, thinking he was going to tie her up again, but what he did next surprised her more. He wrapped it around her eyes, securing it behind her head, and everything around her went pitch black. Statics sounds, his breath and the crash of the waves were the only things she could hear.

She clasped her legs together when she felt an embarrassing amount of wetness pool out of her, and the mocking chuckle that rolled out of Jaehyun's lips didn't help.

"Glad you're enjoying this," he hummed, "but if you ever want me to stop, tap me anywhere, okay?"

She nodded and then relaxed against the pillow again. In a second, Jaehyun was again working on her, collecting her juice and spreading it around. And then the torture started again. His big hands against her thighs, his lips moving on her folds, his moans vibrating against her, but this time she also couldn't see. And time felt different as she started to disconnect from the world and let pleasure take over her completely. She couldn't point out how long it had passed, but she came with an orgasm that never felt so overwhelming. But Jaehyun didn't stop, he kept going, now inserting two fingers inside of her walls.

She lifted her hips up at the intrusion, feeling over sensitive, but the discomfort didn't last. Muffled cries came out of her full mouth while Jaehyun praised her and thrust faster and faster inside of her. Her hands desperately grabbed at the sheets beneath her, and her head rolled back, and she felt lucky she wasn't tied because she could somehow still ground herself to reality and don't let the bliss fog her head completely.

"Don't bite my strawberry, love," he reminded her, moving his fingers in her ruthlessly. "I have to eat it after. It's not polite to ruin food."

She groaned in the back of her throat and bucked her hips, trying to fight another climax to come. But Jaehyun knew her and her body too well, and the fast movements on her clit were all she needed to be sent over the edge again. But this time, with a stronger orgasm, feeling her muscles twitch and toes curl as she squirted harder than ever before.

She squirmed under his hold when he didn't stop after riding her high but kept going. She felt tired, but it also felt so good that she didn't want to stop, so, ignoring the tears that were freely falling from her eyes, she let him go on. This time it took nothing for her to come undone, with the work of his fingers and tongue and praising words.

"You're so fucking beautiful, fuck," he praised, lifting his face from her pussy for a second, "And mine," he added, biting her inner thigh, making her clench harder around his digits.

"Come for me again," he urged, voice muffled against her skin, "I know you can do it." He curled his fingers inside of her and only focused on her clit, wrapping his lips around it to suck. And she couldn't take it anymore. When it all became too much, she exploded, letting the third orgasm of the night wash over her, making her squirm under his firm hold, and making her head feel dizzy and light at the same time. And this seemed to last much longer than the other, like a shock that had no intention to stop.

Jaehyun smiled, seeing her legs shake, the wet patches against his tie, or the drool that ran down her chin, and her boobs still stained with a little bit of chocolate heaving up and down.

He moved closer to her and wrapped his mouth around the strawberry, sinking his teeth in it to cut it in half, his lips brushing against hers like a breeze. "Eat the rest, love. You deserve it." Scarlett did as told and chewed the rest of the fruit, not even thinking about the bandage on her eyes but still lost in the new sensation. And when Jaehyun lifted his tie, and she could see again, it almost felt strange.

"You did so good," Jaehyun praised, gently wiping away the tears from her temples, "I love you."

She smiled and then pulled him closer to kiss him properly. "I think I made a mess, so why don't we take a bath?" Jaehyun giggled, wrapping his arms around her.

"But I'm tired," she complained, even if she was fully aware that they couldn't sleep in those conditions.

"I'll take care of you," he reassured her before taking her to the bathroom.

The hot water filled the bathtub and kept their bodies warm. Scarlett was resting against his chest while Jaehyun washed her with a sponge.

"I think your movie will have to wait," she said, snuggling closer to his neck.

"It's fine. We can always do that at home, right?"

She hummed, "Eunbi will start to monopolize the tv, and we'll only watch cartoons for at least ten years," she laughed, kissing his chest, as her hands searched for his to hold them.

"Ten years sounds so scary," he admitted, looking down to stare at her.

"I wanted to scare you about not being able to watch movies ever again, not to see you panicking over everything else," she joked to light up the mood.

Jaehyun hummed, "I know," he leaned his head on top of hers, "why don't we think about what to eat tomorrow morning?"

"Mhh," she moaned, "that sounds like the only kind of tomorrow I want to worry about," she said. "Life proved us enough times that no matter how much you plan it, it never turns out how you want, right?"

Jaehyun shrugged, "I don't know," he confessed. "I think it proved us the total opposite. Let's be honest, we weren't supposed to be here. We rewrote our destiny, breaking every law, on heart and heaven. Going against the Gods, well, good luck to us when the day will come."

"You make it sound more dramatic than what it is. It's not that bad. There are people that kill out there."

"Yeah, but they don't con the Gods, or whoever or whatever writes the stars. Me and you, on the other hand..."

She smiled at the dramatic picture he was drawing, "So, we are con artists that dare to cheat with the upper floor?"

Jaehyun threw his head back, "You can't call them the upper floor, Scarlett, please."

"But that's where they are, high in the sky, while we're here, suffering. I mean, it's normal that sometimes some people snap and decide to take the matter in their hands if nobody wants to give them their deserved happy ending."

He tried to suppress a laugh but failed, "You might have a point. I would've worded it a little bit more nicely, but you're right."

"As always," she bragged.

"Anyway," he said, "I don't care how we got here as long as I have you. I don't have to worry about the past anymore. There's just the future in front of us, right? Ten years, twenty, thirty. Turning grey with you sounds fun, even if I'll have to burn in the pits of hell forever when I die."

A fond smile crept on her face, "Who knows, maybe we'll meet each other again in hell, burning side by side."

"Mhh, the idea of my perfect date."

"And probably the only date we'll get to have after this one," she joked.

"Talking about dates," he said, "I really needed this, you know, spending time with you, doing dumb shits we have never done. Or, at least, now I can also have fun without thinking about my head in the guillotine if something happens to you."

She laughed, "I needed this, too." She then stopped, suddenly realizing something. "Wait, you didn't come," and that made Jaehyun explode in a laugh.

"I was trying to be romantic," he scolded.

"I know, but I was so tired that I didn't even think about you," she said, feeling guilty and shitty.

"I'm fine. I wanted to only focus on you. Consider it a gift for this morning blowjob." He winked, and she smiled at him, wrapping her arms around him, careful not to splash the water on the floor.

"Thank you," she said, kissing him on the lips. And he simply kissed her back without adding any superfluous word. They knew it wasn't about that night. It was gratefulness for never giving up and always fighting for what they had. It was gratefulness for always having each other's back.

Two days went by quickly, and before they could even notice, they were once again in their home; Eunbi clinging to them, scared they were going to leave again, Taeyong telling about all the fun they had together, and Johnny swearing he wasn’t going to have a child in his life.

“This was your idea, Suh,” Scarlett reminded Johnny when he finished whining about how stressful it had been.

“Yeah, but it turned out harder than expected,” he replied, eyes wide open, hands in his hair, “Probably because you appeared in the back of my mind every time I did something, terrorizing me that if something bad happened to her, my life was over.”

Scarlett glared at him, “You make me look like a terrible person.”

“You’re not a terrible person, but you’re a mother, and I had to take the responsibility of her life. Damn, that’s scary.”

Jaehyun chuckled, lulling Eunbi as he held her in his arms in a sitting like position on his hips, “You’d make a great father, though. Trust me, she wouldn’t have left her to you if she didn’t trust you.”

“Maybe, but definitely not now. You are a great reminder to always be careful.”

Scarlett playfully slapped his arm, “If it wasn’t for her, probably he and I wouldn’t even be together now.”

“I don’t have a cursed love story, so I don’t need a pregnancy that makes me do reckless things, like walking around two countries at six months.”

“For real,” Taeyong intervened in the conversation, “you were insane.”

Scarlett shook her head and puffed, “I was in love.”

“Same thing,” Doyoung added, sitting down on the other end of the couch, looking for the best spot where the wind blew and cooled him.

“I was good with her,” Mark said with a proud smile, peeking his head out of the kitchen to peck Eunbi’s nose, making her giggle. “I think she’s going to say my name soon.”

“Or maybe she’s going to say mama, don’t you think?”

“No, no, she pronounces a hard sound close to the k. I’ll be her first word,” Mark clarified, smiling and then whispering in a stupid voice something that only Eunbi could hear.

“Sorry to let you down, but she already said ‘Ba’ at the beach,” Jaehyun bragged, looking at Mark with a smug smile.

Scarlett rolled her eyes and lolled her head back, “She just mumbled random things. That Ba could’ve been anything.”

“No, she looked at me and said that. She knows who I am. Just wait for it.”

“Maybe she was saying Ma for Mark and you heard wrong,” Mark intervened, resting a hand on his hip.

“Oh my,” Yuta exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air, “y'all are going insane over random sounds. Watch how her first word is going to be something completely unrelated. Like, I don’t know, ‘You need to chill’.”

“Yuta’s right. She’s going to surprise us all, I’m sure,” Taeyong asserted, “She never does anything as planned anyway.”

“Maybe she’ll start walking before talking,” Doyoung presumed, shrugging.

“Yeah, she’s super athletic. Where does she even get all this energy from?” Johnny asked, looking at her parents.

“Her mommy’s milk,” Jaehyun answered, laughing.

“Oh shut up, Jeong,” she huffed, throwing a pillow at him.

“Hey! I’m holding your child,” he yelled, successfully avoiding it. “And it’s true, it gives her strength.”

Scarlett scoffed, ignoring him to answer Johnny seriously, “Kun said that she’s really healthy considering she was born premature and also had that little problem during the first months. Since she started getting better, she never stopped, and the fact that she always moved a lot helped her get stronger.”

“Maybe it’s the royal blood,” Johnny joked.

Scarlett snorted, “Please, I don’t even want to know how my ancestors mixed with themselves, how good can it be?”

“So, it’s true? Royals do that?” Yuta asked with a disgusted face, bringing his attention on them again and not on the journal he was reading.

“As I said, I kind of don’t want to know.”

Jaehyun walked over to her and sat on the armrest, “So, mixing with the pleb is the best thing you can do. Maybe we should go back to your father and let him know that yours was a revolutionary act.”

“Thank God, I think they stopped doing it at least four generations ago, but yeah, nobody went that far as procreating with a commoner. Can I say I hold a record in my line?”

“Definitely, not sure they would throw a celebration, but it’s still something,” Yuta shrugged before drifting in his world again.

Eunbi giggled and crawled on her mother, one hand holding tight her favourite plushie, a white stuffed bunny that Scarlett and Taeyong sawed together, the other gripping her dress to keep balance.

“Don’t undress me,” Scarlett whined, moving her hand away, but the baby kept bringing it there, mouth trying to reach for her boob. “No milk till tonight.”

“But you haven’t breastfed her for two days,” Johnny said, pouting, almost as if he was the one to get something out of the situation.

“Look here, the devil’s advocate, did she pay you?” Scarlett looked at him with a shocked expression.

“I’m just saying that drinking from the sippy cup wasn’t the same thing as eating from you and she was disappointed when the only boob she had was mine and not yours.”

Scarlett rolled her eyes and then pulled her dress down, not even the time to adjust that Eunbi was already sucking. “But just because they hurt like hell and after two days, I think there’s enough milk to feed a whole nation.”

“Why didn’t you pump it out?”

“Might’ve forgotten the breast pump here and wouldn’t have done it anyway. Too busy relaxing.”

“I don’t want to know how,” Doyoung replied, getting up from the couch and disappearing into another room.

“Can I ask you something?” Mark said, shily walking toward her. Scarlett nodded, reassuring him to go on. “What are you going to do when she has teeth?”

“What kind of questions are those, Mark!” Taeyong screamed, hitting his nape, making him wince in pain.

“I asked her if I could,” Mark defended.

“It’s fine,” she intervened before Taeyong could hit him again. “She’ll know she doesn’t have to bite.”

“Why does it looks like you are at your twelfth child?” Yuta interfered again, stopping his reading for the nth time, glancing at her from his half laying position on the armchair.

“I might’ve had the same fear and read every magazine in Kun’s studio while fighting off anxiety,” she said, pressing her lips together.

“See, she’s also feared the same thing,” Mark said to Taeyong.

“Of course, it’s her boobs, not yours!”

“Oh, let him be, Yong,” she reassured. “It’s not like that’s the most embarrassing thing that happened between us. You saw me giving birth, and we barely knew each other, now that was embarrassing.”

“If it consoles you, we didn’t stare,” Yuta chimed again, fanning himself with his hand.

“Oh, I sure hope you didn't,” Jaehyun warned, narrowing his eyes.

“Uh,” Johnny exclaimed, “so you are a little bit jealous after all.”

“I don’t want you to get too comfortable, that’s it,” Jaehyun said. “If a snotty Prince takes her away, it’s a thing, but if one of my best friends does it, I won't like it at all.”

“So if Donghyuck knocked on the door, you would let me go?”

“He would have to run over my corpse,” he affirmed with a serious tone. “But that wouldn’t be a double betrayal.”

“You don’t have to worry about us,” Johnny waved his hand, “we’re just very happy to have a milf at home.”

Jaehyun glared at him.

“And a dilf, I would never forget about you,” the oldest added, grinning at his offended expression.

Scarlett muffled a laugh as she glanced at Jaehyun’s face. “Oh, come on, that was funny.”

“Now I understand why you two get so along,” Jaehyun answered, but his pissed-off expression faded immediately. “Guess I’ll have to carry the weight of being a dilf forever on my shoulder.”

“Girls downtown ask about you when you’re not there,” Yuta informed, giving up finding comfort from the heat and sitting straight on the armchair as a normal person would.

“I hope you tell them he's booked and busy,” Scarlett pried.

“I do, but that doesn’t seem to scare them off,” Yuta chuckled, thinking about how desperate they were to somehow have his number, “Got yourself a charming man, it comes with a prize.” He shrugged, before stretching and creaking the bones of his hands.

Jaehyun flipped his hair and then kissed her temple, “But nobody comes close to you, love, so don’t worry, they can keep dreaming.”

“Good, that’s what I wanted to hear.”

After a day at home, spent playing board games and building legos on the floor and eating junk food with the boys, they decided to go to a park that was one hour out of town.

It was a confined space, with a small lake in the middle and was full of weeping willows shielding them from the sun rays. The perfect place for a picnic and to stay out of people’s eyes, since it was a Wednesday morning, and nobody was there.

“I can’t believe you convinced me wearing matching outfits, again,” Jaehyun said as he laid the blanket on the ground and then placed the picnic basket in a corner to block it from flying in the wind.

Scarlett chuckled, “They are just matching in colour,” she replied, blocking the stroller where Eunbi was sleeping, “and pastel blue looks good on us,” she finished, looking up and down at them, a proud smile on her face, happy of what she created.

“Fair,” he said, raising his hands up, “ but I can’t promise it’s going to happen for the third time.”

“Don’t worry, in one week, you’ll go back wearing that ugly suit,” she retorted, placing another bag on the ground and then sitting, adjusting the dress so that her thighs were fully covered.

“I thought I looked sexy in it,” he teased, kneeling to the ground in front of her.

“Don’t know,” she shrugged, faking indifference, “ask the women downtown what they think about it.”

Jaehyun laughed, throwing his head back, “So you are jealous, like for real.”

“You are mocking our matching outfits that I made. I feel offended. I doubt somebody else will take so much care of you,” she pouted, crossing her arms on her chest.

Jaehyun beamed and then moved over so he could kiss the pout away, “I wasn’t mocking you, babe,” he whispered. “I was just noting that you could convince me to do anything. The power you have over me it’s quite scary.”

She smiled and pulled him in by the collar before Eunbi started moving on the stroller and their attention shifted to her.

“Look who’s up,” Jaehyun cooed, opening the belly bar of the stroller and unblocking the belts to lift her up. Eunbi giggled, stretching her arms to her dad, doing grabby hands. “Do you like it here?” He asked, sitting her between his legs, one arm wrapped around her waist to help her stay in balance, even if she was perfectly able to sit by herself.

A happy giggle rolled out of her lips as she looked around in awe and then smiled at her mom.

“She’s going to make me die from cuteness one day,” Scarlett said, leaning over to caress her curls.

“She got it from you,” Jaehyun replied, tightening the hold around her when she started to move.

“Let her. Maybe she just wants to crawl around,” Scarlett reassured him and moved back to give Eunbi more space to move.

“So I'll have to run after her?”

“She’s not that fast, come on,” she groaned, and Jaehyun freed the baby from his hold. In one second, Eunbi was on all four crawling on the blanket to go to the grass, but as soon as her hands touched the grass, she whined and pulled away and looked up at her parents with a disgusted expression.

They both started laughing, “What, baby? You don’t like grass?”

She frowned, shaking her head but then tried again to touch it, just to utter another louder whine and crawl to Scarlett.

“Stay here, little bird,” she cooed, opening her arms for her, and Eunbi smiled brightly, letting her mom lull her. “Today, we found out we don’t like grass.”

“She’s brave, though,” Jaehyun added, “she tried touching it again.”

“Our baby is curious, isn’t she?” Scarlett praised, looking at her.

“Bo bo bo,” Eunbi mumbled, stamping her hands on the blanket, signalling she wanted something, but Jaehyun and Scarlett stared at each other in confusion.

“She wants to come to you?”

“I don’t think so. I’m not Bo,” Jaehyun replied. And Eunbi kept bubbling the same syllables moving her hands on top of the other.

“Oh!” Scarlett exclaimed, “she wants to play with the soft blocks. They are in the basket under the stroller.”

Jaehyun leaned to grab the bag and said, “Oh, so that’s Bo Bo, well creative.”

Eunbi squealed as soon as her father rolled them in front of her. She kicked her legs to slip off of her mom’s leg and sit on the blanket. “Bo Bo!” She exclaimed, clapping her small hands, eliciting a smile from both of them.

Scarlett bent down to fix the hem of her shorts that folded on itself and asked, “We played with them yesterday. Do you like them so much?”

“I think it’s Mark fault, he always plays with her with this.”

“Mak,” Eunbi repeated, and Scarlett and Jaehyun froze.

“Tell me that doesn’t count as her first word, please?” Jaehyun asked, trying to hold back a laugh mixed with a cry.

Scarlett shrugged before erupting in a loud laugh, “I mean, I guess it does. She’s not going to develop the r sound soon, and that’s the closest to a word she ever said.”

“That’s not true, she says Ba,” Jaehyun denied, looking at Eunbi in disbelief. “And stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry,” Scarlett apologized, but without stopping grinning. “She might as well mistaken him for her dad at this point.”

“That’s unacceptable. I didn’t do anything to deserve this,” he replied, pretending to be weeping, “Well, Mark’s not here, so it doesn’t count.”

Scarlett rolled her eyes and shook her head at how headstrong he could be, “She’s probably going to repeat it at home.”

“Mak,” Eunbi said again, holding up a block before placing it on top of another. Jaehyun whined and let his head fall in the palm of his head.

“She thinks he’s a block. It doesn’t count!” He insisted, eyes full of desperation trying to convince his girlfriend of the same thing.

“She simply connects an act with a person.”

“Oh, great, so she’s going to say Baba every time someone changes her diaper,” he wrinkled his nose in disappointment, and Scarlett laughed again.

“He probably spends the whole day repeating his name to her. I mean, I know he does because he’s the one that spends more time with me.”

“So it’s a conspiracy against me.”

“Why are you mad, she says Mak, but not Mama when it could be much easier for her. And yet I’m not complaining,” she joked, taking his hand in hers.

“Baba,” Eunbi said, her small hands hitting Jaehyun’s knee to gain his attention. Jaehyun’s eyes widened before he looked down to see her big brown eyes look up at him, a proud smile on her face as she finished her crooked and small sculpture.

“Oh my God,” Jaehyun stuttered, feeling tears pool at the corner of his eyes, “Did she, did she call me?”

A fond smile crept on Scarlett's face as she stared at the scene before pulling out the camera to shoot a picture. “See, Mr Negative Thoughts? She wants you to look at her little piece of art.”

“Oh my, oh my,” he chanted, feeling his heart explode in his chest. “You did this for me?”

Eunbi chuckled, clapping her hands, “Baba.”

“I’m going to cry, I’m going to cry, I’m too old for this. I wasn’t ready for this.”

Scarlett rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose while shaking her head.

“You did an amazing job,” he praised, bending more so he could be at the same level as hers. “My good girl, aren’t you?”

“Baba, Baba,” she chanted again through giggles and happy stomping of her legs.

“I can leave you alone if you want to,” Scarlett teased, pretending to get up and leave.

“Oh, stay here,” Jaehyun said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her down. “Now you know how I felt.”

Scarlett cocked her head and pressed her lips together, humming in disappointment, “She has her favourite and doesn’t even try to hide it.”

“She loves you,” Jaehyun replied.

“Only when she’s sticking to my boobs, that’s opportunism.”

“I mean, I understand her,” Jaehyun joked, winking.

“Oh, shut up,” she exclaimed, hitting his arm playfully. “You don’t need them to grow up.”

“They still keep me alive,” he said, pouting.

“If you don’t stop, Jaehyun,” she warned with a playful smile on her lips. “Your daughter wants your attention,” she added, glancing at Eunbi that was trying to climb on his lap.

Jaehyun helped her climb, and then they started to pile the blocks together as Scarlett stared at her. “Why don’t you help us build a castle?”

“Mh, I’d love to,” she purred, laying on the ground. “Should we make it super big so we can play inside?” She suggested, starting to build the walls around Eunbi, making her giggle.

“Do you want to be a Princess?” Jaehyun asked, adding more blocks on the base that Scarlett and Eunbi were making.

“Maybe in a better castle, with better people,” Scarlett added, popping her nose with a finger, making Eunbi fall back on Jaehyun’s lap. Eunbi started laughing and then straightened again, trying to grab her mom’s hand to make her fall again.

“You want to do it again?” She asked and then carefully did it again, making her laugh again.

“She doesn’t give me Princess vibes,” Jaehyun observed.

Scarlett chuckled, “You have no idea how I was when I was a child.”

Jaehyun raised a brow, a small smirk curled his lips, “Really? You?”

“My mom hated me for good five years. Why do you think they called Irina to look after me? I needed discipline, and I wasn’t rude or anything, I just acted like a child, too curious, never shut up. I once risked falling down a precipe because I was a little bit too curious. I made her go insane.”

“Wow, you’re going to be a little bit calmer, right?” Jaehyun asked Eunbi that was still busy piling the blocks on top of each other, not really caring about building a castle.

“Johnny said that she climbed on top of the sofa the other day. And that after she pushed the footstool near the window to see outside.”

“She doesn’t even walk.”

“But she crawls. And have you seen how strong her legs are? I mean, it’s stressful, but after what she had been through, I’m just glad she’s fine and healthy.”

Jaehyun nodded and wet his lower lip, “She’s going to give us a bad time when she’ll start walking.”

“Nah, she’s good, aren’t you?” She asked her, watching her crawl on the blanket to reach other blocks that rolled away from her.

He let out a sarcastic huff, “If she’s just like you, I'd doubt that.”

“Oh, and let’s hear, how were you as a child?”

Jaehyun took a deep breath and flaunted, “I was an angel, the child everybody would want.”

“Yeah, sure, I’d like to hear from your – oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to,” she stopped immediately, covering her mouth, realizing that she slipped up.

Jaehyun smiled, reassuring her, “It’s fine, really. I also do that sometimes. I think about them, getting hyped wanting to tell them about you and her, just to realize they will never know.” But even if his word were reassuring, his expression turned darker, and his eyes avoided her, focusing on a spot on the blanket.

Scarlett reached for his hand, “You never told me anything about them.”

Jaehyun shrugged, “I don’t want to give you negativity.”

“But that’s what being together means, sharing everything, even the things that are not nice. You dealt with the negativity of my family for years. I promise I can take the sadness of a family that never wanted their child locked just for falling with the wrong person.”

Jaehyun let out a small laugh at her words and then sighed, “I don’t think I ever faced their deaths. I was just seventeen when it happened. I had to survive, so I just threw myself into work while finishing school just not to drop out. They wanted me to study, and I owned them to at least finish high school.”

“That’s why you’re good at so many things?”

“Yeah, the people of my town were nice enough to let me help, using me around to do everything I could. Good thing I’ve always been a fast learner and did great at many tasks.”

She nodded in understanding, moving closer to him to move his hair out of his face, so she could stare at his eyes while talking. “And how did you make it to me?”

“When I turned eighteen, I enrolled and followed a course that gave me an attestation, it lasted one year of preparation, and then the second year we practised with real people. It paid money, and it kept me out of my house. And I was personally proposed to your father when the offer came. They were quite proud of me.”

“And do you think you would’ve done it if things went differently?”

“Honestly? No,” he admitted. “My plan was to keep studying. We weren’t rich, but I was the only child of the family, and my parents worked hard to give me a better future.”

Scarlett's eyes crinkled, “They must’ve been proud of you.”

“I think they were,” he smiled fondly, bringing Eunbi closer to him so she couldn’t crawl away.

“And what did you want to be?”

“Promise you won’t laugh,” he warned, and she crossed her heart. “A paediatrician.”

Scarlett widened her mouth in surprise, “Really? That’s so nice.”

He nodded, “I always got along with kids, and honestly, I didn’t think I was going to have one of my own anytime soon. So a job that could make me help them seemed great. I had seen a lot of them die at an early age because of the poor conditions of the families in my town, and I wanted to help.”

“You are an amazing person, you know?”

“I try my best.”

“Why did you think you weren’t going to have one your own?” She asked, surprised. Jaehyun had always been vocal about wanting to have a family and a child, whether it was a casual conversation or during dirty talks in bed, so that was surprising.

“I had dated, but deep down, I knew they weren’t the ones. I know I might sound cliché, and hopelessly romantic, but my mom always told me that when you meet your person you just know it. And I knew it wasn’t any of them. And after breaking up with my last ex, when they died, I didn’t want to jump in other relationships just to fill a void.”

“And why have you agreed to do that with me?”

“I wanted to feel something, and I honestly thought it was going to be just one night. But then we started doing it more and more and no voice in the back of my head was telling me to stop it, so I started to think that maybe you were the one, or at least someone that made me feel good. You were the last person I had, Scarlett.”

She hummed, feeling a warm sensation spread in her chest. It was nice to find out all these things. How much they meant for each since long ago. How their feeling had always been reciprocated even if they weren't aware of that. How they saved each other without even knowing. They had been there at each other's sides, and everything else came naturally.

“If you feel like answering, how were your parents?” She dared to ask, sitting better so that she faced him perfectly. “Were they like you?”

Jaehyun smiled, “My mom was the kindest person I’ve ever known. She taught me to be vulnerable and open and that there’s nothing wrong with falling apart sometimes. My dad was a little bit busier with work, but he always found time to be with me. He taught me to fish. We would always go to the river on Sunday and spend the evening together and then go home and cook with my mom,” he remembered, with a melancholic expression on his face. “I want to be a great father like him, you know. He was always by my side. As if he could sense when something was wrong or when life got too tough and was always there to help me distress and enjoy the little things. That’s why I feel so bad for always being out and leaving you two alone. I feel like I’m failing her and failing him, too.”

“I think you expect too much from yourself, you’re human, and no matter how hard we’ll try, we’ll never be perfect parents. She’s going to hate us, she’s going to love us, and none of this will really depend on us. She’s her own person, and she will be the only one that can judge us one day, just like we judged our parents,” Scarlett said, rubbing her thumb on the back of his hand.

“She loves you, and I’m not saying it just because I have to. Have you seen how she looked at you before when she called you because she wanted to show you her job? And how she stretches her arms to you every time you walk past her? How easily she falls asleep in your arms? She feels safe with you, she feels loved, and that’s the only thing that matters. She’ll understand why you’re out and why you fall asleep before me when you come back home, and I’m sure she won’t hate you for that.”

As much as he found comfort in her words, fear still crept in the back of his head. Being a parent was harder than expected, and it wasn't easy to know what was good and what was bad. Sure, he knew that everything he did was for a reason, but guilty thoughts were still there when he looked at her and realized how merciless time was. “How can you be sure?”

“My father was always by my side physically, but I can guarantee that I never felt any kind of love or affection from him. I was just something that was supposed to keep our name alive. And imagine how disappointed he was to find out that their only child was a girl and not a boy. Why do you think he reacted so badly when he found out about us? About her? I saw it in his eyes his fear of seeing his kingdom fall apart. I can still hear his sigh of relief when Donghyuck said that he was going to marry me anyway because he only cared about money and affairs. I know what a careless father looks like, and that’s definitely not you,” she smiled, looking down at Eunbi that got quieter and was almost falling asleep between his legs. “And she knows it too.”

“You truly have a way with words, would’ve made a great leader,” he praised, feeling the weight on his shoulder a little bit less after hearing her kind words. And overall, he felt better if he thought that he was in this with her by his side. They had been through worse, right? Raising an amazing baby together would've had just the right difficulties.

“I’m good at using this skill to make people buy my beautiful clothes,” she joked, flipping her hair.

“I’m sure my parents would’ve loved you,” he affirmed, moving Eunbi over his lap to hold her better now that she was fast asleep, the soft blocks long forgotten on the ground.

“I’m sure they are loving us from up there. Maybe they helped me arrive at you safe and sound, you know, that was really reckless. I don’t think I would’ve made it without help from the sky. And as I told you yesterday, I think Gods are too busy thinking about them, so only our dears look after us.”

A genuine smile crept on his face as he squeezed her hand tighter, “You know what, I like thinking about it like that.”

Her eyes lit up, and then she moved closer to him to leave a peck on his lips. “I love you. Please, never forget it,” she whispered close to his lips when they pulled away.

“I know. I love you, too.”

They spent the whole day like this, cuddling and playing some more after eating what they had prepared in the morning. The sun was starting to lower on the horizon, and they were about to go back home. Eunbi had been particularly energetic, and after a few other tries, she also got familiar with the grass, which led them having to panic because she started crawling farther and farther from their little spot.

And now she was laughing loudly, laying on her back while Jaehyun was blowing raspberries on her tummy after he finished changing her diaper. She kept mumbling Baba every time he pulled away to make him do it again, and that warmed their hearts.

Scarlett had to fight back tears as she felt her heart fill with joy even more. All of this felt like a fever dream. She had never planned it, never imagined her life was going to be like this, her plans were completely different, and yet, she could swear she had never felt this good in her entire life. Eight months ago, it was still scary, but now it felt different. She knew they had each other, and nothing and nobody was going to change that.

"I can't wait to go home and tell the boys she called me Baba. I want to see who will be more jealous," Jaehyun said, putting her shorts on, before starting to play with her again.

She chuckled at his words and the tender scene in front of her eyes. She had never seen him so happy and free, his eyes never shone so bright as they reflected in Eunbi's, and his cheeks were tinted red.

Going back home to the boys, with her lover and their child, sounded so nice.

And she pondered that, after all, Jaehyun was right; they were bandits. They had cheated to be there, rewriting the pages of their story even if it was already written in the stars. But now that they were all together, happy, safe and loved, it didn’t matter much. They did that for a good cause. They did that because they deserved something good in their lives after everything, and Eunbi deserved to be loved by her real family. And after all the bitterness and the pain, there was something good. After all the uncertainty, there was forever. And forever is the sweetest con.

part four (final): our gentle sin

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