#just alotta crap going on right now

[su-era4-comic]

Did discontinue this au?

No it's not discontinued just taking longer than I expected to get back to drawing due to real life issues and difficulties

[sammoonwatcher]

A fic for

@dbh-found-family event

Despair... ---> Hope

Sorry I still don't know how to do the cut off in mobile. So angst beyond this point.

Despair

It wasn't exactly unfamiliar to the old Lieutenant. It was a presence as familiar to him as his own scent of sweat and reeking, burning alchohol. It rarely left his side. Until he had something else taking up its place. An annoyance for sure. That android who never left him alone. Who kept repeating himself like the glorified answering machine he was. Never obeying an order like...

Well. He appreciated the annoyance over the despair. Annoyance was grating, it made life difficult. Despair on the other hand was crushing, and made life at times unbearable. Day by day the annoyance became less grating. Though the old Lieutenant would never admit it. He was starting to find himself just a little less hostile to the damn evidence locker with legs. Hell, he was even starting to get along with it. He didn't even realize when in his mind that It became He and Tincan became Connor.

But he could pin point the exact damn second he became son.

As much as he'd like to forget it.

He didn't think of much while at the tower. Other than that an awful lot of mess had been made to broadcast a single message. Thank whoever there was to thank there were no casualties. (At the time he believed it to be sheer luck rather than the grace of the deviant leader). He was still swaying on his feet from the night before and he was more than content to find a corner to sulk in and let the forensics roomba do his own damn job. Though he found himself trying to match the coin tricks that the annoying thing could always pull out of no where. He was collecting witness testimony from the swat team when Connor rounded the corner Thirium was dripping from a weird circle in his lower chest and his normally tidy suit had been torn.

"It's a deviant stop it!"

Hank turned his head to the android that had just been called out only to see it steal the fully automatic arms of a swat officer.

Out of all the times in his life to feel despair... he didn't even particularly feel it then as the barrel was lowered at him.

The Lieutenant knew the sound of gunshots but at first he couldn't figure how he was on the ground. Something was leaking all over him. It was too cold and sticky to be blood. He opened his eyes against the bright fluorescent lights of the hallway. Connor's face hovered above him. He pushed the android off of him, taking in the destruction around him. The deviant must've taken out at least 3 people, itself not included.

"Goddamn..." The Lieutenant swore. "Good thing you were there Con-"

He froze as he looked back and saw the android, his partner... in a puddle of blue blood. It had the consistency something like motor oil. It stained his hands and his clothes as he pulled the android into his arms. The bullets had shut him down instantly. His led had no life. The bullets were nestled safely in his chassis. Bullets that were meant for a human. Bullets that were meant for Anderson himself. The blue coated his hands. A crushing wave of despair washed over him, something he didn't even know he had left in him.

God he still had nightmares about that. Every time he'd wake up in a cold sweat and have to enter Cole's... no, now Connor's room, and see that slow blue spinning led light. Just remind himself that Connor was okay. That Connor was safe, and not throwing his life away for some stupid old alcoholic... god it made his heart stop aching.

Androids slept so weirdly. Connor always said he never had any dreams. Even the Lieutenant could see that wasn't true. The way the kid snored sounded like an old style laptop's cooling fan. Every now again a word or two would slip out, like just listening to the android was like listen to a radio with randomly changing frequencies. But sometimes a whimper would come through. Or the led would turn red. The worst of times was when he kept whispering a name.

Amanda.

Hank didn't know who this Amanda was. But he was sure if he ever met her he'd have to remove his reservations against hitting women. After all that name was never whispered like the other words. It was filled... seething with so much goddamn Despair.

It sounded so much like a human... no. So much like Hank himself. He couldn't stand it. He found that, it was enough to tuck the kid in, make sure his pillow wasn't too hot to put the led back to blue.

It always made Hank so tired in the morning. He knew it wasn't normal behavior but he didn't have a normal kid damnit. Connor was clearly going through something he couldn't ever grasp. And he wasn't a normal parent. He had Connor die in arms three times too many. And another son pass as well. But this time if Connor died... without the cyberlife network to back him up, he'd simply cease to exist. He would die. Hank would be alone... until the rest of his miserable human days.

"Hank..." Connor said one day. "... I've noticed you've been monitoring my sleep patterns."

Hank sighed, at least he wasn't calling him Lieutenant anymore.

"It was that obvious?" He said sarcastically.

"Well I first noticed on nights when I achieved a high quality sleep, you were always exhausted." Connor explained. "Then one morning I woke up and you were still there by my bed... sleeping. So yes... it was obvious."

Hank didn't expect to find himself reacting the way he did.

"... sorry kiddo. I didn't make you feel uncomfortable did I?"

"On the contrary... you aided my sleep cycle... I'm just confused why you felt the need to do so."

"... well you're my son. Every father protects their kid from nightmares... give them hope and safety."

"Hope..." Connor said softly. The Lieutenant could just see the kids eyes glaze over and he gained the 100 yard stare. The revolution. The torment. The suppression of will. The deaths he died for someone else. The lives he stole for someone else. Hank could practically just see the kid get swallowed up by it. It broke his heart.

The Lieutenant wrapped his arms around his son, snapping him out of the trance. Connor slowly moved to return the embrace, sobbing.

"Shit kid... I didn't mean to make you cry again."

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry .. I just... I wasn't made like this. I wasn't made deserving attention and support."

"Connor..." Hank muttered sadly, once again wishing he could personally 'interview' each and every goddamn cyberlife employee. How much of that worthlessness crap had they drilled into his head?

"... I wasn't built to be loved..." Connor whined. His voice just dripped with despair and pain. It just rang true for Hank.

"But you are loved Connor..." He said. "... now chin up. You're gonna help me find a new suit for you."

Connor pulled away, a bit confused, and his tie slightly off kilter.

"... why... why are we going shopping for new clothes?" Connor said.

"Because." Hank said, fixing the kid's tie. "You deserve it..."

The android's led slowly turned blue again as they walked to the car.

"... Hank?"

"Yeah kid?"

"... can we find new dog toys for Sumo after this?"

" 'course kid."

That night in new striped pajamas Hank tucked Connor in. Reading him a few things.

"... hey kid. Do you know what hope is?"

"Hope is the human concept that... well everything will be okay?"

"Something like that. There's a lot of bs about there about what people think hope is. Something with feathers. Something with wings."

"... that's not possible hope is not a physical object. How can it have wings?"

"I dunno."

"... what about you Lieutenant..?"

"... Me?"

"What do you think hope is?"

"... hope... hope is a strange... hard to understand thing. But you know that no matter what happens, you need to keep it by your side. Sometimes hope can be wrong. But alotta time's it's right... basically what I'm saying is... to me... hope... is an android sent by cyberlife."

He watched the realization slowly dawn on Connor's face.

"You consider me your hope Lieutenant?"

"It's hank and I do..."

Connor laid there a while. Not sure how to respond.

"... Hank... dad... I think you're my hope too. I love you."

"I love you too son."

[chikkampli]

another crappy fanfic but it's chimondo

Soooooo, Danganronpa: THH Chapter 2 spoilers,,,,,, :|. I also used actual quotes from the game *c o u g h*

   “Well...um… I’m a boy,” Chihiro stared intensely back at Mondo, taking in all the remaining courage he had left to tell him.

   “Seriously? Jesus…” Mondo’s face took on a surprised look, which was to be expected. Chihiro did have a feminine body and voice after all.

   Chihiro looked away, tears starting to form in his eyes, “Y-Yeah… I’m sorry I lied to you.”

   “But...why?” Mondo inquired. “Why now? Why are you telling me this all of a sudden?”

   “...Huh?”

   Mondo rubbed the back of his neck, “ ‘Cuz I mean...you’ve kept that secret all this time, right? If anyone found out...you would…”

   He sighed, this was to be expected. “Y-You’re right, but… I want to change! I wrapped myself in lies. I’m weak. I want to destroy that version of me forever! I have to change. I don’t want to be weak anymore. You’re so strong, it can’t hurt you, right?” the boy’s eyes lit up in admiration. “Whatever secret Monokuma might tell us…”

   Mondo smiled warmly, “Yeah… But uh, do you mind tellin’ me? Ya know, ‘cuz…”

    “Oh, yeah… I guess I should. You deserve to know since I lied to you all this time…”

   His eyes widened, “You don’t have to do that! I mean...it’s your secret. I musta took you alotta balls to tell me, you don’t have to tell me why if ya don’t wanna.”

   “Oh, it’s fine… I want to! And like I said, you deserve to know. I lied to you, Mondo.” Chihiro sighed, “Well...it started getting bad around 6th grade, when all the boys were looking more...like boys, I guess…”

   This was a common occurrence. Being teased and bullied by others for being “too girly” and that he needed to “man up”, it was so tiring. Chihiro Fujisaki is a boy, why can't they see that? They're always, always saying that he's too feminine for a boy and that he would be better off being a girl. This was honestly so stupid, everything is stupid. Everybody who degraded him solely on his lack of masculinity is stupid. This world is stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. Chihiro Fujisaki was no less of a male than the rest of them, he is a boy and he deserved to be respected as one. Chihiro Fujisaki is a boy, he may look feminine and not meet society's expectations of a male, but he his a boy. He is a male. He is of the male sex.

   But even so, Chihiro was still degraded by other people, even his own family, for not meeting the expectations all males were set to society-wise. And now he was stuck inside a circle of four boys, being ruthlessly teased and bullied. Tears were streaming down his face as the older, stronger were boys pushing and trashing him about, calling him all sorts of things. One even grabbed him and started punching him, it didn't last long though. Chihiro liked to think that he actually had a heart and decided that he was treating him too badly, but it was more likely that the older boy got bored of his reactions. While he was punching the ever-living heck out of Chihiro, Chihiro decided to not react too much. He thought it would stop if he did that, and he was right. The small boy lay helplessly on the ground when the other dropped him, muttering something like “Man, you're no fun.” After about 15 more minutes of extremely traumatizing teasing and physical assult, the older boys had enough and left Chihiro there, bruised and tears pouring down his face.

   When he came home from school, he immediately headed straight for his room, wanting to be isolated from everything and everybody. He looked around, trying to find something to distract him. His eyes landed on his notebook, the notebook he wrote in for all his projects. Chihiro's eyes brightened and grabbed the notebook, opening it up to the first page. The page showed his first ever project, he was very proud of this one. This was the project that had gotten him recognized as the “Pre-teen Programmer Prodigy”. He loved looking back at his plans and ideas for this almost as much as he loved his dad. And that was a LOT of love. He ignored the aches of his body as he read through it, almost forgetting he had gotten those injuries. In the middle of looking through, his dad walked in.

   “Chihiro?” he called out. Crap.

   Chihiro kept his head held low, he didn't want his dad to see his face. “Yes sir?”

   “Can I come in? I just want to check up on you, is all.”

   “Yeah. Oh, I need to unlock the door…” the small boy quickly got up on his feet, shuffling his way to the door to unlock it still looking down. “It's unlocked.” He made his way to his bed as his dad came in.

   “So, how was school?” he asked. Aw heck, he already knew where this was going.

    “Fine,” Chihiro shifted a bit, messing up the comforter he was on even more. He already knew what was going to happen, thus making him really hot and flushed; you could see the redness of his ears quite clearly.

   His dad stayed silent before he cleared his throat. “...Can I see your face?”

   Heck. He was done for. Chihiro hated having to worry his dad and make him upset, it was upsetting for the both of them. He knew if he disobeyed it would only cause more problems, so he reluctantly looked up at him slowly.

   “Oh my…” his father rushed over to him. “What happened?? Chihiro, this isn't…”

   “They punched and kicked me, and called me names. That's all.”

    He put on a worried expression, “Chihiro… I'm so sorry, I just…”

   Chihiro nodded, “It's okay, Dad. You weren't there, you couldn't have possibly done anything.”

   “But…” He sighed, “I think we should change schools.  For the better.”

   “I don't think it will fully stop people from doing...that to me… But I believe it will stop the worst of it.”

   His dad sighed, “I know.”

   ("Right then, I had a crazy idea, I didn't know if it would work, honestly. It was the idea of me crossdressing. If I was so bad at being a boy, I would be a better girl, right? So, I decided to...be, well, who I am now.")

   "...What if I dressed like a girl, or become a girl?"

   "H-Huh?!" he blinked in surprise, "Now you don't have to do that, Chihiro-"

   "But I want to." Chihiro stared back intensely, looking the most serious he had ever been in his life at that point. "If I dress like a girl, then they'll leave me alone at the new school, right? Besides, I genuinely want to, Dad."

   "B-But are you sure? Just changing drastically so fast can be tiring-"

   "Yes, I'm sure," he fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

   "And so, my dad pulled me out of my old school to my new one, making my gender female so I could be more comfortable. We went shopping to buy more feminine clothes and...here we are," Chihiro looked down, trying to avoid eye contact with Mondo. This story was very sensitive for him, but he wanted to share it with the boy in front of him. They were close, after all.

   "Wow… I'm sorry that happened to you, kid," Mondo subconsciously walked a little closer to him. "I'm gonna help you as much as I can now! It's a promise between men!" he held out his hand for Chihiro to shake it.

   This took Chihiro by surprise. 'A promise between men?!?! He considers me...a man?? I'm nothing like a man, I'm still…" He pushed away that thought. Smiling sheepishly he took his hand. 

"A promise between men!"

[jhmyguardiangel]

Beastly Beautiful Spin-Off | Jeonghan | Ep. 2

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Slice of Life, Elite!Jeonghan

Category: Seventeen Series, Seventeen Universe

A/N: Episode 2 of the Spin-Off series! 3 more episodes left before this fanfic closes off ^^

Word count: 1030

<Prev episode | Next episode>

———

Red and pink balloons shaped in hearts surrounded the campus, streamers hung on windows and doors. It was few days before Valentine’s Day. Squeals from girls echoed the area, and Jeonghan panted after running for so long. He hid himself by the janitor’s storage room, which was by an empty aisle.

He never knew why this happen every year, and he might experience this miserably for another two years. “My legs are tired.” he squatted, his back in contact with the cold wall.

“Where is he?” one girl asked.

“I think he went by the empty aisle.” another said.

Jeonghan’s eyes widened, “Crap.” quickly standing up, he took a peek before he could make a run.

“Ah! There he is!”

Jeonghan sighed for probably the seventh time today. He sprinted along the halls even though it was prohibited. This run was actually the longest he had ever ran in his exercise life.

“Oh there goes president Jeonghan on the run again.” Junhui perked up, making Wonwoo and Soonyoung look up as well.

“Poor guy.” Soonyoung smirked, “thank goodness we’re not that popular.”

“I don’t know if we should be happy or bummed out hearing that.” Wonwoo added, “girls haven’t even handed us obligatory chocolate yet.”

An awkward silence filled between the three young men, only sipping of a carton juice heard.

“Right.”

As Jeonghan finally reached the Natural Science Division, he finally lost the girls who were chasing him. He earned looks from other students who gave him chuckles, so he went turned around and opened his locker in embarrassment. However, he was greeted with a waterfall of love letters, falling straight at his shoes.

“What the-“

He slammed his lockers, pissed at this whole act. He walked back to the cafeteria to have his lunch when girls from lower years again spotted his figure. Jeonghan groaned encountering this, it was unstoppable.

“President! Please my valentine!”

“Me too!”

“I made you chocolates!”

He was speechless and didn’t know how to politely decline them, he took small steps backwards and more girls surrounded him in a circle.

“Hey look! There’s Jang Doyoon!”

Jeonghan looked at his left where he spotted another group of girls with the said young man. Except, in contrast to him, he seemed to be loving the attention he got. He flinched in disgust seeing that.

“Now now girls, one at the time.” Doyoon said, smiling warmly. “Thank you, lovely.”

The blonde haired rolled his eyes, and before he even knew it, Doyoon was already standing ten meters from him.

“Pres, seems like we got our hands full, don’t we?”

Jeonghan smirked, “You seem to be enjoying this a lot, Jang.”

“Returnee’s gotta receive alotta of love y’know.” he shrugged his shoulders. “Since someone’s been taking all the attention while I was away.”

The girls stood around the two young men. Seungcheol and the other boys saw the little commotion as they exited the cafeteria.

“Two presidents having a showdown, huh?” he said, drinking his soda can.

“Well, aren’t we all curious?” Seungkwan asked the pack.

“You’re the only curious one, Kwan.” Jihoon rolled his eyes.

“But we haven’t got drama in a while. It’s funny ‘cause it’s guys who are initiating it. It’s rare I tell you!”

“Fine, just for a while.” Joshua hestitantly walked towards the crowd at the Key with his friends.

Minghao, Mingyu and Seokmin approached the guys, “So which episode are we in this drama?”

“Episode unidentified.” Hansol shook his head, following a nod from Chan.

“I wouldn’t watch this if I were you.” Wonwoo said, making the rest look at him, Junhui, and Soonyoung.

“Why not?” Seungkwan asked.

“Our egos will be crushed just watching the top two male hearthrobs of Seungcheon.”

“Ah.” everyone else agreed.

Jeonghan scoffed at Doyoon’s remark. “Well thank you for giving me the time to shine. Ex-president.”

“Based on your attitude, it seems like you’re not appreciating the effort those girls are giving you. Giving up already?” Doyoon challenged. “It’s not even Valentine’s Day yet.”

You walked around the campus with a book in your hands, studying for your literature exams. Sejeong told you it was useless for you to study because you’d still score top marks effortlessly. Little did she know your exams are almost as equal as a Master’s Degree.

“That’s because..” Jeonghan trailed off, spotting you approaching the crowd with your usual concentration on your book and nothing else around. He took your wrist and pulled you to him, “Miss Y/N’s my valentine.”

Doyoon slightly frowned while everyone gasped. Jeonghan knew the brown haired’s major interest in you. And oh how he enjoyed to humiliate him.

You tore your eyes from the book and looked at Jeonghan, who had his arms around your shoulders.

“What do you mean I’m your valentine? I don’t even recall-“ you whispered.

“Just go along with the flow, you idiot.” he smiled awkwardly with gritted teeth, tightening his grip on your shoulders.

“I believe I had sent a large bouquet of roses sent at your dorm room earlier, Miss Y/N.” Doyoon smiled, swiftly holding your hand.

“I just came from my dorm room and I haven’t got any.” you stated innocently, earning gasps again from the crowd.

Jeonghan laughed and Doyoon’s ears went red. They’ve been challenging each other for the next two minutes when you interrupted.

“Look guys, I’m glad you both show interest to take me out on Valentine’s.. and honestly, you both are great guys.”

The young men looked at you, eagerly listening.

“But I already have a Valentine this year.” you smiled happily.

“What?!” they both shouted in disbelief. “Who?”

“My dad, duh!” you jumped, hugging your books.

Everyone stood silent before breaking out into laughter, making Jeonghan and Doyoon blush like a tomato.

You walked away from the crowd, waving them a goodbye before saying in a teasing tone, “Better luck next year, guys.”

The students slowly dispersed the circle and going for their lunchbreak, leaving the two young men standing.

Doyoon cleared his throat, “Well that was unexpected, my ego’s crushed.”

“I really detest saying this but, I agree with you.” Jeonghan said blantly.

“I wooed her first though.”

“Shut up, nobody asked.”