#just general autism symptoms worsening yippee | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vpyre · 5 months

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We really are all suffering together, huh? The tags in the rbs of that last post feel almost comforting bc even if we’re all suffering at least we’re not suffering alone. Solidarity! I guess. It took my mind off of things for a second purely bc my therapist friend instincts kicked in and I felt the urge to comfort everyone talking about the rough shit they’re dealing with. I love humanity so much sometimes. I wish I could hold everyone in the world who’s hurting and promise them that better things are coming. Alas I am but one man. I guess the next best thing to do is care for the people I can and hope it passes on to others.

#vent #kinda #vaguely depressing philosophizing maybe?#things have been weird lately #social anxiety has also really been kicking me in the ass #just general autism symptoms worsening yippee #cried cus I had to do the dishes #cried cus I thought too hard about nostalgia and the good parts of my childhood #like. I’ll NEVER get to feel that way again #I’ll never experience life like that again #I’ll never feel that indescribable abstract feeling of that time again #I hate getting older #I hate that I’m gonna be twenty next month #where the fuck did the time go #I want nothing more than to go back #and the worst part is that so much of my childhood was hell #I just miss the good bits so fucking much #I feel like I should be crying. I feel like I need to #it just isn’t happening #it’s killing me that my ability to feel emotions deeply is disappearing slowly #it’s so fucking scary #that’s who I am!#I NEED them! I NEED the emotions! how else will I know I’m real??#I’m so scared that it’ll go the same way my ability to read did #I used to fucking TEAR through books but now I can’t help but skim even the shortest and easiest reads and IM A FUCKING WRITER #I need to be able to read to keep my skills sharp!#ugh #I just miss the joy of reading so bad #I feel like I’m being turned into some kind of drone #anyway goodnight. trying to go to sleep before three for once

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