#cried cus I had to do the dishes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wisteriagoesvroom · 7 months

Note

hiya other michelin anon love of my life (i feel like we’re talking on a can and string rn) you’re soooo clever 💕💕

thinking abt when they’re established but not public (private but not secret 🫶) and oscar and lando are the only ones that really know the full extent of it. charles and pierre and alex just think they’re hooking up but landoscar have the threat of their careers being ended if they ever let it slip - not that max would ever actually throw his precious protégée under the bus like that.

it’s valentine’s day and they have a fucking busy service naturally and suddenly alex is sticking his head into the kitchen from front of house and going ‘shit, russell’s here - mate, you might not want to take that break i know it’s scheduled but-’ oscar and charles’ heads snap up and oscar knows better than to let charles say anything as max just nods and goes to take his chef’s whites’ top off and trade it for a white shirt. he passes back through the kitchen and everyone’s like wtf. wtf? wtf. we’re reallllly letting service drop after the article george published last week??

max throws an ‘it of course will be fine everyone, the service has been run really very well - charlie, take over and oscar sous please,’ before he’s going and sitting down with george for their valentine’s dinner <3 alex has been given their table bc he’s the best server and they thought it was just george dining to critique so he ends up serving max with a half smirk half outraged face. ‘mhmm mr russell of course, and for you, chef? well, i’ll have pierre over with some wine options for you immediately…’ and that’s how everyone finds out that they’re not JUST having hate sex

(charles debriefs with pierre after they’ve closed on just how outrageous it is that max didn’t tell them that he was SEEING not just fucking russell) (george writes an article critiquing some tiny aspect of the dish but in reality rests his hand on max’s thigh under the table and tells him that it was really rather good sweetheart and that you’re lucky your sous is so well trained princess)

i’m also so enamoured by the idea of max naming things on his menu as little inside comments that only him george or his team know. ‘tulle’ is a dessert they run in winter for a princess’ dress and ‘champs elysees’ for george’s flat or an elevation of the dish that george had ordered the first night they fucked.

i also love george begrudgingly keeping up with oscar’s career bc max has basically kitchen adopted him… doing one of his only ever complimentary pieces on mark webber and max verstappen’s protégée already working in a projected michelin resteraunt. the party when they earn their next star is insane (george is invited and serenaded with a wall of clippings of his best quotes from his critiques and has to pay for lando and oscar to get a cab home bc they’re both so drunk and giddy) (max cries when they get back to george’s flat bc this is the first star where it’s truly felt like his own and george has nothing but lovely things to say)

⭐️⭐️

new theory: is this just one person talking to the wall (me) cus if so that would actually be really funny

i am so fucking here for these details tho…. The menu?1?1?1?1?1? oooooo u cooked. Ok so:

—————

the hush of the restaurant and the conversations dying as THE max verstappen slides into the chair opposite george and they’re both like. hi. hi. and they talk to each other, perfectly aware that the entire restaurant is watching them link their fingers together as they peruse the wine list and murmur low to each other about grape acidity and seasonality. then pierre, who is the maître d, kicks the room back into motion with a smooth joke on a nearby table and suddenly everything is moving again, the world cranks back up and george and max get to be just two people in it existing, not the reputations and personas they’ve built up in the last ten years, not feeling a need to keep up appearances but actually just two diners connecting over great service and great food.

and later, the team cleans up and packs up. they all say their goodbyes. maybe george pulls up in his vintage lil car near the back and oscar’s smoking in the back alley with alex and they both wave at max on the way out.

“happy valentine’s day,” they say, a little teasingly to max. “practice safe sex!” oscar shouts, over the embers of his cig.

“shut the fuck up or i’ll put you both on tile scrub duty!” max yells back. the laughter follows max as he yanks open the car door and climbs in.

george rolls his eyes. but then the door closes, and the world goes silent. and he’s looking right at max.

“must you always be so incredibly filthy mouthed.”

“yeah?” max says, eyes flicking down to george’s mouth, which is already starting to part with surprise, at how hungry max is all the time for him, how strange but good they are together because of and not in spite of their differences. how obvious max’s need always is. not like george, always feeling a need to conceal, be unflappable. max who paints with every colour, in the strongest shade.

“but you like that so much about me.” max adds.

“and that’s our dilemma, isn’t it, choux?”

—————

wow where did that come from?? turns out maybe EYE love the Gax!chef AU too? ur all so inspiring go gax anons goooo.

#chef!gax au #wiz.askbox #party with the Gax ers

4 notes · View notes

vitaecryptid · 2 years

Text

CW: Weight Loss, Dieting, Exercise, etc

So over the past few years I'd put on a lot of weight cus of depression, living situations, and Covid. It had gotten to a degree where my mobility was compromised, my joints hurt, and I could barely stand wearing shoes. It was pretty miserable and these were all motivations for me to try losing weight. I decided since I'm finishing out my 6th month on this fun little weight loss journey, that I kinda wanted to just drop this somewhere in case it helped others. I'm obviously not a medical professional at all, so there won't be medical advise or plugs or anything, but mostly just a 'I was there too' kind of thing instead. And maybe cus I'm proud and kinda want to post this as a sort of benchmark for me to look back on. Note: After this point is my experience so if that makes you uncomfy, which is fine, keep scrolling.

First and foremost: Working out blows. There's really no way around that. It's hard and it makes you feel like you're going to die, vomit, maybe both?

However there was a certain phrase I found when rifling through free youtube workouts that really inspired me: 'If you're moving, you're winning'. What does that mean? It means even if you moved for five minutes, or ten minutes... It was better than the alternative. That suddenly made everything seem... A lot less daunting.

So I started doing what I could do. I would do workouts until I couldn't anymore. I made a point to get up and move around more often, trying to every hour even if just to wash dishes or fold clothing. I started eating a bit less and eating a little bit leaner... But I also started to no longer skip meals and actually kind of take care of myself.

I remember that I was over a month in before I finished a thirty minute workout but, when I did, I cried. It felt like I was actually getting somewhere and helped me push forward, along with the encouragement of close friends. I kept going, patching together workouts I could do that were free online. Over time I noticed changes.

I lost some weight of course over the next few months as I became more consistent and worked out more often. However the loss of weight wasn't what got me. I remember the first time I could put my shoes on without pain. I remember feeling lighter and more energetic. I remember my feet hurting less and being less swollen. Two months ago I was able to bend over and tie my shoes again and it felt like everything was worth it, despite the fact that the scale was barely moving.

I didn't care. It felt l had a bit of my life back.

Last week I was finally able to do a stretch that I hadn't been able to this entire time. I was able to do that one hamstring stretch where you grab your foot behind you.

It seems small, but I feel so much better these days. I look forward to continuing to work out and take my monthly measurement to see how far I've come.

#vit talks weight loss #sorry to everyone who's here for fandom stuff #we'll get back to that immediately #I just wanted to post something personal for myself #feel free to ignore the first tag for the future if you don't wanna see this

2 notes · View notes

flameboyace · 2 years

Note

EGG OF CHOICE with Marco please?? I had to ask cus egg. Thank you!

HELLO HELLO! I know this is your second request but i am so excited for this particular dish that i had to start from this one!

Contrats! You choose your maid and your dish, we have to get you to chose your egg first so sit down and enjoy the show from your maid.

_____________________________

The table you sat at is big enough for the pretty maid to be able to kinda lay on it, his little dress now higher on his body while everything else is left exposed.

The pretty blond knew perfectly what to do and your face, when he came in front of you and sat open legs on the table, was everything to him.

His legs were now fully open in front of your face, his body was on the table and the only thing to make him stan a little were his elbowsn just to be able to look at you "go on yoi, you need to remove them or you can't choose".

Soft and elaborated panties were on his body and he waited patiently for you to took them off, a second maid came and started to caress your chosen maid face "you gonna be good for them right? You gonna let them choose from all the options am i right?" Your maid nodded to the other one and started to lay down a little more until his ass was completely exposed to you.

The other maid gave a small casket to you and instructed to keep it at the table border, exactly under your maid body.

As soon as the other maid started to touch your maid soft moans were filling the room and you could clearly see a colored egg in your maid hole "i need you to give them the first egg beautiful, you can do it".

It took nearly nothing for the first egg to be dropped, the other one already visible, a little blue one with small glitter on it.

Your maid was now fully erect and rocking his hips following the other ones movement, it was a pretty good sight and the view was all yours to enjoy.

Seconds later the second egg were dropped too and this time it was a green one with little aliens on it, pretty cute but never like your maid cries, now desperate both to release and to drop the last egg.

When the other maid managed to make him cum he finally dropped the last egg, a pink one with sakura flowers on it.

Now completely drained and teary your maid looked at you and softly said to choose your egg, after the choice he sat down his body still shaking softly from it, the other maid made him sit on your legs instead, recovered a little bit of cum fron the skirt of the dress and made you lick it.

The kiss that followed after from your maid was far from soft and you could feel how fast he was breathing "thank you for choosing me and your pretty egg, we will back in a second".

After he got up, and disappeared in the back with the other maid, some time passed and he finally came back with a plate with and pretty decored omelette, his name written on it with some ketchup, a big "Marco" with a little heart on it, and on a little bowl, your picked egg, now washed and fully visible "you have to keep it yoi, it's yours now".

_____________________________

#one piece #one piece headcanons #one piece imagine #one piece x reader #one piece scenario #one piece x you #op x reader #one piece smut #marco the phoenix #marco the phoenix x reader #marco the phoenix headcanons

64 notes · View notes

grogunotfound · 3 years

Text

FINAL PART OF LOST

pairing ╾ ben poindexter x fem!reader

word count ╾ 2.8k

synopsis ╾ a very special agent and a very special dancer face the reality of their true feelings.

warnings ╾ kissy kissy, murder ment (cus it’s dex), tiny blood ment (still dex)

a/n ╾ wow. this was fun. expect some more dex content cus i have concepts for days ajdhajdjsjd

p.s. i included lyrics from “lost boy” by 5sos HAHAHA

[disclaimer: i rarely proofread so please excuse any and all errors!!!]

———

Dex has been on a week rampage ever since he left you on your stoop that night. First, he went for the politician that violated you. He found him at another party, probably preparing himself to do whatever-the-fuck he did to you. And, Dex wasn’t going to let that happen. He wanted to keep you safe from every single bad thing in the world...even if it would be from a distance. Even if he was one of those bad things. There was joy when he watched the politician’s life fade from his eyes. Dex managed to get him alone in the hostess’s office before hurling a pair of nearby scissors into the center of his forehead.

Then, Dex went for himself. He ruined nearly everything in his apartment. He punched holes in the wall, propelled dishes across the living room, let out guttural screams. He was angry. At you. At himself. At the world. He knew that sending you into his life was punishment for all the bad deeds he has done. For all the lives he took. And the comfort he felt when he destroyed people. It was only a matter of time until he harmed you next. He couldn’t change. Being a bad person was in his blood. He wasn’t worth redemption. He wasn’t worthy enough for you.

Dex continued to wonder what your life was like now that he was out of the equation. Although you never saw him, he always made sure you made it home after work, even if it meant losing sleep. You looked nice tonight; a shade of red decorated your full lips, your hair was freshly curled that with each step they bounced, and you had on a dress. ‘This is new,’ Dex thought to himself. He wondered what the occasion was. It couldn’t have been a roommate’s birthday because—naturally—he knew each of their birthdays. The closest one wasn’t until a few more months.

“Hey!” You chirped as you walked further down the street. “So good to see you.”

Dex’s eyes followed your trail and came upon another man. He could already feel the jealousy boiling inside him, his stomach twisted at the sight of you with someone else. You placed a soft kiss on your date’s cheek, smiling as he interlaced his fingers with yours.

“Ready?” Your date grinned.

You nodded in response. You felt something tug at your heartstrings, causing you to look over at the spot Dex usually waited for you after you finished work. You were only met with emptiness, but you deeply longed to see his chiseled, lop-sided smile widen when you stepped out of the backstage door. You would be lying to yourself if you said this date was purely for fun. You were looking for a distraction. You have never met anyone like Dex before. His aloofness drew you in even more. It was something you recognized in your self before you moved to New York. You knew how much it hurt to not be heard or seen. Maybe it was the reason why you decided to become a dancer at a strip club in the first place. You would often question why you craved such validation. But, with Dex, he didn’t just give you validation, he gave you his wholehearted attention.

And, you missed him. A lot. You couldn’t get that fateful night out of your head. You saw him in your dreams. You told your roommates about him, which—to be fair—was a big step in your relationship. You cried over him. You felt as if you had lost a piece of yourself when Dex left. You couldn’t understand how someone so temporary left a permanent mark on your being.

“Y/N? Is everything alright?” Your date asked. Before you knew it, your date was over and you were standing in the same spot where Dex broke your heart.

You exhaled, “Yeah, yeah. Everything is fine.”

“Are you sure? You seemed kind of...distant tonight.” Your date stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I just hope you enjoyed yourself.”

“Don’t worry, I did.” You placed a fake smile on your face, something you were getting too used to. “Thanks for dropping me home.”

“Can I see you again?” He asked hopefully.

You hesitated, “Oh, sure. Just send me a text or something.”

Your date grinned. He began to lean closer to you, fluttering his eyes closed. You asked yourself how long you wanted this distraction to last. But, you weren’t sure how long Dex would be away for. You had hope… But, a little kiss wouldn’t hurt. You felt something whiz past your face.

“Ow, shit.” Your date pulled away from you, rubbing his temple. “I think I just got hit with a rock.” Small droplets of blood were beginning to trickle down the side of his face.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” You gasped. You looked around to catch any potential perpetrators. “Should I call 911?”

Your date let out a laugh, “No, it’s okay. It must’ve fallen from a tree or something. I’ll tend to it when I get home. Goodnight, Y/N.” He awkwardly hugged you before leaving.

You groaned once your date was out of hearing. What a terrible night. Could it get any worse? You entered your apartment, immediately bombarded with questions from your roommates.

“How was it? Did you two kiss? What did you talk about?” They desperately asked.

“Fine, no, and I don’t remember. I was too busy thinking about Dex the entire time.” You groaned even more. “What is wrong with me?”

One of them guided you to the couch, “Nothing’s wrong with you! Dex was hot, so I don’t blame you.” You let out a small laugh, feeling a little bit alleviated.

“Should I text him?” You wondered out loud.

“No,” they chimed in unison.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” You sighed and sank deeper into the seat cushions.

Dex stood silently outside of your apartment’s front door. He followed behind your date, ready to pounce on his next victim, but something held him back—he couldn’t stop thinking about you. He thought about what you would think of him. He wanted you to be proud of him. He wanted to make you proud, so he restrained himself. Now, he was standing outside as if you were expecting him. You weren’t, obviously, but you hoped he would show up. But, tonight was not the night. Dex decided to let you be and went home early.

You were perfection. He has been waiting for somebody like you. But, Dex didn’t want to ruin you. He was sad in silence, living in a world of noise. His head buzzed with self-effacing notions. He was without direction. He was lost. Dex wanted to be found. You wanted to find him.

Maybe that’s why you showed up to the FBI office. Agents bustled in and out the glass front doors. You waited patiently outside, unsure about your next move. Were you going to wait outside? Or go inside the building to look for Dex? You paced back and forth on the sidewalk, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” You thought about the way Dex made you feel. Right now, you were angry. But, when you were with him, you had no other care in the world. You felt safe with him. He was always there for you. He listened to you. He empathized with you—something that you found rare at the Northstar Lounge. You quickly found composure and decided to just fuck it all and find Dex.

Dex couldn’t wait any longer either. He needed you. He wanted to run away from the loneliness that haunted his every waking moment. He wanted to find his way back to you. Being with you was his will to live. He would beg you to stay with him. If you ever left him… “Stop it,” he scolded himself. It was so hard, trying to abandon his past. The malignant thoughts buzzed in his head, but you were his Polaris, his Northstar. He couldn’t be without you. You guided him. “Hey, boss. I’m going to get some air.” Dex threw on his jacket before heading for those same glass doors you were standing in front of.

“Dex,” you breathlessly gasped, clearly getting caught off guard.

“Y/N,” his jaw dropped a little bit. “What are you doing here? Stalking me?” He readjusted his tie, trying to restrain a sly smile from creeping onto his lips. You let out a laugh—music that Dex felt were just as bright and joyous as wind chimes.

You shook your head, raking through excuses to avoid the truth. You weren’t going to fold that easily. “I just happened to be in the neighborhood. I didn’t realize you work here.”

Dex let out a laugh this time—it was raspy, but it was a satisfying itch to your ears. There was silence for a few moments. The tension in the air was not hard to miss. Both of you wanted to say something, but you were scared of the other’s response. You wanted to ask what went wrong. Dex wanted to ask how he could make it up to you.

“I..I was just going to go for a walk by the water. Care to join?” Dex spoke up, hoping a neutral place would be more refreshing. You couldn’t contain your smile and nodded. Almost out of instinct, you reached up to grab his upper arm, causing Dex to tense up, not used to your touch anymore—he wanted you to never let go. The two of you reached a bench that overlooked the river. Dex gestured for you to sit down, and he followed suit. He awkwardly cleared his throat, “How have you been?”

You debated on telling the truth or giving him a general answer. On one hand, you could tell him how you really felt. Or, you could let him take the wheel. You weren’t ready to be led on again. You had to be sure that he wanted to be with you, just as much as you wanted to be with him. “I’ve been better. And yourself?”

Dex sighed, conflicted between the two choices too. He had a hard time with his feelings, coming to terms with his raw, scary emotions. He wanted to please you, to make you happy. You watched him attentively. “It’s been hard. It’s been really hard.” He gulped. He looked up at you to see your reaction. You stared back at him with your big, dewy doe eyes that he had been enchanted by ever since he first saw you. Even before you approached him at the club, he had already taken note of you. The way you sturdily walked, the way your hips swayed, the way your eyes gleamed when the stage lights highlighted your face. He admired the way your smile never faltered.

“With work?” You feeblemindedly asked. You weren’t going to jump the gun.

Dex took a deep breath, clenching his arms into fists to relieve some tension, “Without you.” He tightened his jaw, “I’m sorry for what I did, Y/N.”

You paused, uncertain of how to approach him. Dex desperately searched your face for any sign of a response. You pursed your lips, “why did you do it then?” You were genuinely curious. You thought the two of you got along well. You thought your friendship could be something more than just an exchange.

“Love, you’re..you’re a good person. And, I-I just feel like I’m..I’m drowning. No matter how hard I try I can’t get a grip on anything. I’m losing myself, and I can’t get any air…but, when I’m with you, it’s like you’re my lifeline. Like, you’re air that I need to breathe. I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” You went to grab his hand, but he pulled away. You flinched, “Dex. I—”

“I was scared of hurting you. I didn’t want to pull you into this void with me. You’re a really good girl, and I need someone like you. But, maybe you were just too good. I’m not worth it. Love, I-I’m just sorry.” He exhaled harshly, trying to keep his composure. He wanted to be strong for you.

You sat back onto the wooden frame of the bench. He glanced over at you, noting your shift in posture—it was as if you had lost your light. “Dex, can I tell you something?” His silence was a response in itself. “I normally don’t like being called my stage name out in public. It never felt natural to take it outside of my work. You know, when I’m called by that, it’s usually followed by a command or a back-handed compliment or even a dirty comment. Love was never kind to me.” You sucked in a breath, “But with you, it feels different. It feels..good. You brought a whole new meaning to that name. It’s like a nickname. It has a purpose, a story, like I’m art.” Dex blossomed with every word that was coming out of your perfect mouth. “Dex, I guess what I’m trying to say is that you make me feel safe.” You looked over at him to find Dex looking back intently.

He wanted to move closer to you so he could cup your cheeks and bring your lips to his. He wanted to run his hands down your neck until they reached your waist. He knew how right you would feel in his arms, his hands, in between his fingers.

“And, while we’re being honest… It hurt when you left that night. I thought I meant enough to you that I could at least have an explanation.” You sniffled, looking away to keep the tears from falling.

“Love…” Dex was speechless, but he wanted to make things right. He needed you. Most importantly, you needed him. “Love, I..that was never my intention. I never wanted to hurt you. It hurt me just as much that night. I don’t know how I can make it up to you…but, please, if you give me the chance. I’m sorry.”

You took the leap and scooted closer to him. You couldn’t stand the distance between the two of you. You longed for his cold touch, his warm stature, his steady arms. You took the liberty and rested your head on his shoulder, prompting him to make room for you. He lifted his arm and placed it around you, letting his own head fall on top of yours. This felt right—heck, it was perfect. Dex wanted to live in this position for the rest of his life, “I’m so so sorry. Please don’t leave me. You’re everything to me.”

You configured yourself to look at him properly, “Dex, I forgive you. You need to trust me. I’m not going anywhere.” You promised.

Dex glanced down at you, fully taking you in. Sunlight shaded your eyes in such a way that made it impossible to focus on anything else. His heart sped up as his gaze drank the rest of your face. He gently placed a hand on your cheek, using his finger to trace your profile—from the height of your cheekbones to your bottom lip. His thumb lightly brushed against your lips before resting on your chin. Your breath trembled as he pulled your face upward to kiss you.

Dex’s hand floated up to your face, pressing his lips against yours without hesitation. His lips were warm and soft, a complete contrast to his chilling touch. You could taste your shared breath, inducing you to deepen the kiss. At this moment, it was just the two of you. The sounds of New York never ceased—the cars honking, a police siren blaring past, live music playing from a restaurant nearby. Nothing else mattered. Everything else in the world faded away because he was so transfixed on breathing you in. The kiss was dizzying but healing. Butterflies danced in your stomach because everything about this felt right. Being with Dex was right. You didn’t need anything else. Dex didn’t want anything else other than you.

Breathing deeply, Dex nudged his nose against yours and tried to calm his flustered heart. Your hands had traveled to the hand resting on his lap. Without any thought, you guided his free hand to rest on your thigh. You didn’t let go; instead, you held onto him. Dex ran his thumb along the inner stitches of your pants, ruffling the fabric and your own breathing. For once in his life, Dex felt relaxed. He could feel his cheeks flushing red, his heartbeat beating itself out of his chest. Time stopped, but he never ceased the relentless attention he had on you. You invaded all his senses, and he understood that you made him feel just as safe. This was all he’s ever wanted. Dex reluctantly pulled away, the two of you breathing heavily but happily. “I was lost without you.” Dex rested his forehead against yours, “Thank you for finding me.”

#ben poindexter x reader #ben poindexter imagine #ben poindexter #daredevil fanfic #daredevil x reader #reader insert #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #ben poindexter fanfic

35 notes · View notes

gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years

Text

Imagine taking in Mako and Bolin off the street and Mako becoming protective over you.

Warning: Brief street harassment which some readers may find triggering

You were home alone one day when you heard a noise in your back garden. You peaked through the blinds and found two men crouching low in your flower beds obviously hiding from someone. You figured it was the police until you saw Shady Shin’s gang members poking their noses around. You watched curiously and saw the boys made no movement towards the house or to steal anything, they were just hiding but the gang members were rapidly getting closer. So, not really thinking, you opened the back door and hissed at them to get inside. The smaller of the two bounded inside but the taller one paused before sighing and following. You shut the door and turned off the lights. “Who are you and why...” the smaller one started but you shushed him as the gang reached your house. They peaked over the fence but not finding anything moved on. “They’re gone but I wouldn’t go out so soon” you explained turning to face the two men and you finally got a good look at them. The tallest one was very obviously fire nation, chiselled chin, paler skin, amber eyes. The smaller one looked younger and definitely earth nation by his stature and features. They looked very different but there was an air of similarity between them. “Why did you help us?” the older one asked and you just looked between them “are you brothers?”. “We are!” the smaller one cried “Nobody ever works that out! I’m Bolin and this is my older brother Mako”. You nodded looking between them “I helped you because I didn’t want the gang to get you, I don’t know who you are or what you’ve done but I’m pretty sure you don’t deserve what they’d do if they caught you”. Bolin nodded “they’re mad cus we left the gang, we were only in it until we paid off our debt but Shady Shin wanted us to stay so we ran off”. “Bolin!” Mako cried “shut up!”. “Why? She’s not going to go rat on us after she saved us”. The older brother eyed you suspiciously “but what does she have to gain by saving us?”. “Maybe she just wanted to help?” you replied and Mako frowned not believing you. “Look my family will be home soon, my mom and dad are both pretty smart, they’ll be able to get you out of the city and somewhere safe so just sit tight for a while okay?”. Mako looked like he wanted nothing more than to run away but he glanced at Bolin who was sniffing the air “are you cooking something?”. You smirked and led him to the kitchen “it’s only cabbage soup but there’s plenty if you want some?”. “Yes please!” Bolin cried and Mako sighed “Bolin....we can’t pay her”. “You don’t need to pay me” you told the fire bender “my parents would kill me if I charged someone in need”. “We don’t take charity” the older brother snapped and you sighed “well don’t think of it that way, think of it as being a friendly neighbour”. Bolin stared at Mako pleadingly and Mako sighed “fine Bolin you have some but I'm okay”. “Suit yourself the offers there” you shrugged and led Bolin to the food.

While Bolin was eating you noticed Mako standing weird and frowned “where is it?” you asked and Mako jumped. “What?” Bolin asked but you kept your eyes on Mako “where is it?”. Mako looked down “i don’t know what you’re talking about”. You rolled your eyes “my dad’s a nurse, I know how someone looks when they’re injured”. Bolin gasped “they did stab you! Mako why didn’t you tell me”. “They didn’t stab me...it’s just a scratch” Mako said as Bolin started to tear up. You took out a first aid kit and put it on the table “if you show it me, i can help before my dad comes”. “No” Mako said “i’m fine”. You rolled your eyes “i’m not going to hurt you, just let me help”. Mako sighed and lifted up his shirt. Bolin gasped “ow no Mako you’re going to die!” and Mako glared at you. “No he won’t Bolin” you said calmly “he will need stitches which I can’t do but I can clean and bandage it till my dad gets back, okay?” you asked Mako. Mako seemed very angry at the whole situation but sighed “fine” and allowed you to approach him. You had just finished cleaning the room when the door went and your parents and 3 younger siblings all walked in. Everyone paused and you turned to them. Mako threw his shirt down immediately and Bolin stood up so quickly he almost knocked the table over. Your parents took in the situation and nodded “what's happening and how can we help?”.

You explained the situation to your family and they agreed to help. Your father stitched Mako up and you helped as your mother talked through their options. Your parents didn’t even ask what the brothers had gotten into or why they were involved with the gang in the first place. They just asked questions to assess how the brothers could get to safety. Your mother asked if they had any other relative that could help but Mako shook his head “we don’t have any other family”. “Well, we do have some distant relatives in Ba Sing Sei” Bolin added. “But we’ve never even met them” Mako cried “why would they take us in?”. Your father went to speak when someone knocked loudly on the door. “Stay here” your mother said and your father nodded “y/n finish this off for me”. Your parents headed to the door and you worked on sealing and bandaging Mako’s wound.

As you were working you heard the door open and your father ask “can i help you?”. “We know you’ve got them so let us have them or else yeah?” a voice responded and Bolin froze “that’s Hulo and Chehe!”. Mako stepped forwards and you grabbed his arm “no don’t, you’ll make it worse”. I’m not letting your parents endanger themselves for us” Mako cried and gently removed your hand. After commanding your siblings to stay put, you and Bolin scrambled after him. You saw your parents arguing with two men but they paused when they saw Mako. “Ahhh decided to give yourself up eh Mako? You always were the smart one”. Mako stood up taller and didn’t let the pain of his wound show “don’t hurt any of them, we’ll come with you” he spoke confidently. “Not a chance” your mother said and she stepped right in front of the man blocking Mako from his view. You saw the man pause at your mother’s act and they frowned recognising her voice. Your mother was well known in the community, she owned a store not far from your house and was well-liked for being a kind woman always available to help others. You knew she’d helped some of the gang with their wounds before and sure enough so did the men. “You’re the woman from that store, you patched me up once after a fight....I didn’t realise this was your house Ika”. Your mother nodded “it is and anyone in it, is my responsibility”. “Yeah but see they’re shady Shin’s men....”. “They said they paid their debt” your father piped up “this isn’t Shady Shin’s territory, if he lets them go he won’t be bothered by them ever again, we’ll make sure of it”. The men looked at your father and then to your mother “you can promise that?”. Your mother stared back at them “you have my word”. The men stared before looking away “that sounds reasonable but if we see either of them near our territory....”. “We understand” your mother nodded and the men walked away. Your parents closed the door and Bolin cheered “you saved us!” rushing to hug them. You laughed as did your siblings who had not listened to you but Mako just stared. “Why did you do that?” he asked “you know they could just come back now you’ve stood up for us?”. “Then can try” your father smiled “but me and Ika are known for being able to handle ourselves, we’ve always left the gangs alone and they’ve left us alone too, I think we’ll be okay”. Your parents led you back to the kitchen but Mako wouldn’t budge. “But why risk it?” Mako asked “for someone you don’t even know! You put all your children at risk” Mako said gesturing at you and your siblings “just for 2 strange boys? Why?”. Your father frowned but your mother shrugged “because we hope that if something happened to us another person would do the same for our kids” she said simply “the world’s a cold place but it only gets colder if we turn our backs on those in need, I’m not sending you or your brother back out there because it’s the right thing to do, it’s that simple”. “Really?” Mako asked and your dad nodded putting his arm around your mother “yes”. Bolin grinned “i think i’m going to love it here” and Mako frowned “we’re only staying for one night”. Your father went to argue but your mom silenced him with a look “if you say so but you can have a room in the attic for as long as you need it, it’s not charity. We can help you find good jobs and you can pay a small fee for the room and food. But if you’d rather go out in the cold and make it on your own...that’s okay too”. Mako looked down and you smiled at your mother and how clever she was. Your family started dishing out food and you smirked as Bolin took a seat at the table for seconds. Mako let you finish bandaging his wound but didn’t sit down, he stood by the window. Your mom glanced at him and then at you “y/n why don’t you show Mako the room, the two of you could clear out some of the stuff in there?”. You nodded and looked at Mako “this way”. Mako followed you through your house and you smiled “our house is nice but it has a few quirks you should probably know about” you explained “don’t step on the 8th step, the living room door doesn’t close properly....ow and you’ll probably have to bend your head on all the stairs but it’s a good home. Small and crowded but nice” you said and Mako nodded in response. You could see why nobody figured Bolin and Mako were brothers, they couldn’t be more different. You could hear Bolin downstairs chatting loudly while Mako just followed you silently. You reached the attic and flicked on the light. “Wow, this is bigger than I expected” Mako said and you nodded “my mom used it as an office but now it’s mainly storage”. Together you and Mako managed to clear most of said storage and revealed the two beds in the back of the room. “You’ll need new bedding and it might smell a bit musty but we can air it” you said smiling and Mako paused “why are you all so nice?”. You paused “I don’t think we are....we just do what anyone would do”. Mako shook his head “no you don’t...trust me I’ve met a lot of people and they’d sooner chase me and my brother away from their lawn than give us a meal and a bed”. You shrugged “my parents both came from humble beginnings but they had kind people who helped them, maybe that’s why they’re like they are....either way I’d say stop questioning why life’s throwing this at you and maybe just say thank you?”. Mako looked down and nodded “I’ve been rude, I apologise. Thank you for...this, it all happened because you let us both in...so thanks”. You grinned at how awkward Mako was when you heard footsteps and Bolin and your parents appeared. “This is our room?” Bolin cried and you laughed how everything amazed him. “For as long as you want it” your father nodded and Bolin dove on a bed “and we get our own beds too! Mako this is amazing isn’t it!”. Mako nodded and turned to face your parents “thank you for everything”. Your parents blinked in surprise and you smiled just a little bit proud. “It’s no problem” your mother replied and Mako looked down “if it’s okay with you...the plan you said before, could we maybe try that?”. Bolin gasped in suprised and your parents smiled. “Of course” your mother smiled “for the next few days just lay low and rest up and then in the next few weeks we’ll find you a job you like and go from there, sound good?”. Mako nodded his head and looked from your parents to you finally “yes, thank you”. You smiled “no problem” and Mako smiled softly back trying to return the gesture. Your parents smiled glancing from you to Mako. “We’ll let you boys sleep now, let us know if you need anything, bathroom’s second door on the right and there’s food in the kitchen if you get hungry”. “We’ll be okay” Mako said seeing Bolin’s eyes light up at the thought of thirds “thanks again, see you in the morning”. “Good night” you smiled and Mako nodded “good night”. “Good niggggght” Bolin sang and you laughed before following your parents downstairs. “I think we’re going to like it here” Bolin said sleepily into his pillow and Mako nodded “yeah maybe”. “They’re all so nice! I can’t believe y/n just saved us like that and her parents, they’re all something special aren’t they?”. Mako nodded “they sure are”.

2 months later

The house was definitely more crowded with Bolin and Mako in it. The attic was just big enough for them but between you, your 3 siblings and your parents, the two men were noted. The house was always bustling with movement or noise and Mako and Bolin fit right in with that aspect. Bolin was loud and friendly so got on with everyone easily and even Mako began to open up and talk more. The brothers were both very polite and while they laid low from the gang they offered to help in the house as much as possible. Even when Mako got a job (your parents refused to make Bolin work given he was only fifteen) he still pitched in with the chores like you and your siblings did. The main things the brothers did was help your mother with the store and shopping. They were now the strongest people in the house so it made sense but you also got the idea they were protective over your parents after what they’d done for them. You saw the way Mako would give up his chair for your ageing father or how Bolin would pass your mother the first bowl of food and grew fonder of the brothers every day.

Bolin soon felt like another brother but Mako didn’t. There was something about him, his calm attitude or insanely handsome features, that made you excitedly nervous to be around him. You soon realised his cold exterior was an act he had to wear to protect him and Bolin but there was no need for it anymore and you noticed it rapidly slipping away. The more relaxed and genuine Mako became the more you liked him and the closer you became. Bolin would often rush right into whatever game your brothers were playing, being loud and boisterous like them, whereas Mako and you would usually end up on the outskirts avoiding the conflict. You soon came to love the evenings you spent sat in a corner of the living room together and knew you had a small/huge crush developing. You blushed easily around him and both seemed to awkwardly get caught in situations that made your feelings even more obvious.

For instance, one afternoon you were heading out to meet a friend when Mako and Bolin appeared with your mother and the food shopping for the week. You jumped spotting Mako so suddenly and he smiled making you feel weak “hi y/n, sorry didn’t mean to scare you”. “It’s fine....” you smiled back and went to retreat back up the hall so they could pass when Mako shook his head “it’s okay I think I can squeeze past!”. You stepped closer to the wall and Mako tried to bustle past you. He lifted the bags above your head trying to pass you when Bolin crashed into him trying to turn in a hallway too narrow for his broad shoulders sending Mako crashing into you. Mako tensed trying to stop himself from hurting you and managed to not put all his weight on you. He sighed and shot you a nervous smile as you were trapped against the wall by him “sorry”. “It’s not your fault” you smiled back “stay still I think I can slip out”. You tried getting out from under his arm but that was hard. Mako tried lifting the bag but it started to rip so you told him to stop. You ended up having to climb out under his arm and above his leg. Mako was blushing bright red when you managed it and you too felt flustered. You came into the living room to let Mako pass and then stood awkwardly by one another. "So you’re heading out?" Mako asked. You nodded "yes i’m meeting my friend Geho, i should be back late". Mako nodded resisting the urge to warn you about taking the main road not the back streets, a habit he’d gotten into with Bolin that had apparently passed onto you too. You almost sensed that and smiled "i’ll be careful" and Mako smiled "good" and tried not to watch as you walked away. Mako liked you too.

Later that evening your mother realised she’d forgotten to get the meat from the butchers and Mako and Bolin offered to go and fetch it. The shop would be closing soon so Mako and Bolin hurried to the store as quickly as they could. The streets were largely empty and as the brothers stood in the butcher waiting something caught their eye. "Is that y/n?" Bolin asked suddenly and Mako’s head shot around. Sure enough there you were walking, or more like running down the street in the direction of your house. "Who is that?" Bolin asked and they watched as some boy hurried after you calling after you. "That’s her friend Geho” Mako said recognising the boy but he frowned “something is not right". When you lifted your head slightly and Mako saw you were crying he shoved the list your mother had given him into Bolin’s hands and rushed after you. He jogged over to you at a fast pace but when he saw the boy touch your shoulder, trying to make you turn around and face him, he exploded in anger. "Hey" he yelled "get off her!". The boy looked back around just as Mako grabbed him by the shirt and threw him away from you against a wall. Mako held the boy off the floor being taller and growled fire on his fingertips. "Dude what the hell?" the guy cried trying to get free and you spun stound. "Mako it’s okay! Don’t hurt him". Mako frowned "but he was bothering you". "Well yes" you nodded and Mako glared until you touched his arm "Mako it’s alright, he'll leave me alone now, right Geho?". The man glared at Mako "don’t think your boyfriend here will give me much of a choice". "Geho it’s not like that..." you started but the boy swore and just walked away "fuck you y/n". Mako glared and went to follow him when he realised you were still crying. "Y/n" Mako said softly "are you okay? Do you need a tissue? A hug?". You took Mako’s last suggestion and buried your head against him. Mako wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your back saying soothing things. Mako held you tightly for a while before it started to rain and he frowned. "Come on let’s get you home" Mako said putting an arm around you and you nodded "thank you".

Mako got you home, upstairs and into your room without any of your family noticing. You sat on the edge of your bed not bothering to remove your coat, scarf or shoes and Mako frowned "y/n what happened". You wiped your eyes and looked at him "i just lost my best friend". Mako sat beside you "how?". You sniffed and Mako looked at you "y/n?". "Geho asked me out...he’s apparently liked me for a while and i had no idea! I told him i didn’t feel that way and he got angry and aggressively persistent. He was trying to convince me to give him a chance and getting madder that I didn’t want to when you got him away from me". Mako raised an eyebrow "he got mad at you for not liking him?". You nodded and Mako shook his head. Mako went to comment on how stupid that was when you sighed "i mean maybe it was my fault, maybe i was too friendly and gave him the wrong idea, I should’ve noticed he liked me...". Mako almost produced fire that idea made him so angry. "No" Mako said firmly "y/n you did nothing wrong! Being friendly is no invitation for a guy to try something with you and you’re not supposed to always know how he feels. He’s a grown man he could just tell you..." Mako trailed off realising that applied to him too and coughed "and to blame you for not liking him...y/n he’s an asshole and you deserve way better friends than him". "But he’s my oldest friend" you sniffed and Mako shrugged "well if he’s a true friend he'll come back and apologise, i think he should beg for forgiveness personally". Mako relaxed to see you smile slightly. "And if he doesn’t then who needs him? You don’t need guys like that around you y/n, nobody should ever treat you that way". You smiled looking up at Mako "how are you so sure?". "Because it’s common courtesy, because it takes nothing to be polite. After all, friends should never blame you for your feelings or things you can’t control, because you’re the kindest sweetest person i know and if anyone does ever treat you that way i will put a stop to it". You smiled softly "like today? You were like a knight in shining armour, you just appeared out of nowhere". Mako smiled "i’m just glad i was nearby, when i saw him reach out for you...". You tensed and Mako frowned "but you’re okay, you’re safe" he rushed to reassure you. You nodded "thanks to you". "You know i can teach you some stuff" Mako told you "so you know what to do if a guy tries to grab you like that again". "You can?" you asked and Mako nodded "there’s actually a lot of ways to get out of holds and to reverse them on the person, I can show you a bunch of ways to protect yourself". "You’d help me with that?" you asked and Mako nodded "of course!". You smiled "thanks Mako that’s amazing! I’m so glad i met you". Mako’s heart lifted and he smiled "i’m glad i met you too". He wanted to tuck that piece of hair behind your ear but didn’t want to touch you and scare you after what had just happened. "I think i’m going to shower and then go to sleep" you announced and Mako nodded standing up. "Thanks for today" you smiled at him and Mako nodded "no problem and if you need me, for anything, even if it’s just to have someone with you until you fall asleep...just call me". You smiled "thanks Mako" and he focused on your watery eyes and red nose and just wanted to comfort you. "Can i hug you?" he asked and you blushed but were so pleased he asked for permission. "Yes" you smiled and he wrapped you in a hug. You hugged him tightly feeling safe there and when you seperated Mako was worried to see you were crying again. "Y/n are you alright...". "Yes you just make me feel safe" you smiled through tears "that’s all". Mako blushed and felt so proud he made you feel that way. “That makes me glad to hear, I’d do anything to keep you safe and well....all your family” he trailed off and you smiled. “Well you do so thank you...for being you I guess?” you said awkwardly and Mako laughed. “No problem...I meant what I said, just bang on the ceiling if you need me” Mako said as his room was above yours. “Thanks Mako” you smiled and Mako nodded leaving your room.

Mako closed your door softly and walked to his own room. Bolin burst in soon after and gasped “where’s y/n? Is she okay?”. “She’s alright, her friend was harassing her but I got him to leave her alone, hopefully he’ll never go near her again but if he does....”. Bolin laughed “I can imagine what you’d do to him for messing with y/n given your feelings for her”. Mako blushed looking away “is it that obvious?”. “Ow yeah to everyone apart from her” Bolin nodded “but maybe not after today”. “I’d have helped her regardless” Mako explained and Bolin nodded “yeah I know...but I don’t think you’d be so emotional and protective, all i’m saying is she might’ve noticed that”. “Maybe” Mako nodded “but after what she’s been through the last thing I want to do is to put any pressure on her”. Bolin nodded “i get that, so just let her come to you, or wait for enough time to pass and then ask her out”. Mako nodded “I think the first option” and Bolin smirked “chicken!”. Mako shook his head “you didn’t see how upset she was, I’d do anything not to see her cry again...I’ll let her come to me if or when she wants to, I’m not going to stop showing I care about her but I’m also not going to force her to decide anything, I’ll be here if she wants me” Mako said adamantly. Bolin smiled “aww my big brother all in love, so cute”. Mako blushed and pushed Bolin away from him. “You’re an idiot” he huffed and got into bed turning the light out. Mako listened as Bolin pottered around the room and he sighed. “You’re not an idiot Bolin you’re just...accurately annoying” Mako clarified. “I know” Bolin smirked and Mako rolled his eyes. Bolin was exactly right, Mako had fallen for you hard and he’d do anything to protect you. He meant what he said though and wouldn’t pressure you in any way, he’d wait for you....as long as it took.

____

I only recently realised Mako was only 8 when his parents died and he became Bolin’s guardian which made me really sad...so I wanted to write something where someone looked after Mako for once.

#mako #lok mako #legend of korra mako #mako imagine #mako x reader #legend of korra imagine #avatar mako #lok bolin #bolin #bolin and mako #shady shin #republic city #avatar legend of korra #legend of korra #avatar bolin

319 notes · View notes

the-wolf-who-kissed-the-moon · 3 years

Text

• Lady Dimitrescu x female reader 💋

• Warnings: mild horror elements, kidnapping, psychological abuse.

glass angel, part V.

sin will take your chastity,

and you are born anew;

but do not fret, my darling,

I will come for you…

Daylight peeked through heavy velvet curtains, gently waking you. Although you’ve slept until the late hours of the morning, your body ached all over and a terrible nausea settled in your chest. Memories of last night rushed somewhere in the back of your mind, hiding away from your wakefulness. All you could recall was having terribly vivid dreams in which you twisted and cried with forbidden pleasure. Yet as you glanced down at your body, you found yourself fully clothed and the bedsheets undisturbed.

Wooziness abruptly settled in your core as you attempted to stand. Finding leverage in the elegant headboard of that royal bed, you managed to carry yourself to the window. With a feeble hand, you pried the curtain open and the magnificent sight before you filled your heart with thrilling joy.

It had snowed the previous night. A large blanket of translucent little diamonds shimmered in the pallid winter sun, stretching from the rocky tops of the Carpathian mountains all the way down to the wide Transylvanian valleys. You pulled the curtain open all the way, allowing that dazzling light to fill the Victorian-styled room. It was considerably less frightening in the brightness of the day, giving you a fleeting sense of comfort. However, you were determined to leave this bizarre place and return home before nightfall.

Dormi, draga mea…

Sultry whispers followed you in the waking world, beckoning you back to bed. The more lucid you became, the harder it was to supress your sinful desires for the woman who quickly became the object of your deepest fantasies.

Lady Dimitrescu.

Although you were reluctant to face her again, you felt a longing deep inside your chest. Befuddled by your own emotions, you slowly made your way to the adjacent bathroom to thoroughly wash your face. The cold water lifted the haze of sleep, giving you a sense of control, but as you stood in front of the gold-trimmed mirror, you were horrified by your own reflection.

Your cheeks were hollowed and drained of color, making you appear sickly and lifeless even though you’ve slept all night. There was a small, hard to distinguish bruise across your jugular, yet it didn't hurt as you traced it with your thumb. Fear crippled up your spine as you tugged the hem of your nightgown down to reveal your chest. A more prominent bruise was embedded in your soft breast, surrounding what looked like a deep, precise cut.

Knock! Knock!

Startled, you suddenly turned away from the mirror. There was noise on the other side of the bedroom wall; porcelain dishes and silverware clinked, and chairs were being pulled. You quickly opened the door only to find that there was no one there. A rich breakfast was laid on the table, presumably for you, but you neglected your poor appetite and rushed through the second door to follow the sound of footsteps in the hallway.

“Hello? Is there anyone there?!”

You called feebly as you struggled to find your way out of that intricate maze of tall, dimly-lit corridors. The haunting silence made you fearful that you might’ve stepped into another realm, forever condemned to wander these halls in search for salvation. Then, the soft creak of a door opening and closing brought hope back into your heart.

“Hello?...”

Again you called, and to your absolute relief you spotted someone peeking at you from behind a corner. It was a young woman clad in a maid's outfit, with ghostly pale skin and eyes as wide as open windows. You sensed that she was afraid, and so you took small, careful steps towards her, trying your hardest not to seem intimidating.

“I’m sorry, I just… I mean you no harm, I promise, I just need to use a phone…”

The maid quickly disappeared behind the wall, filling the eerie silence with the sound of her hurried footfalls. You tried to follow, but she was too quick and you could barely stand on your weakened legs. Your desperate calls fell on deaf ears, causing your hope to shrink until it completely disappeared.

Hai, Hai… Joacă-te cu noi…

Come, come… Play with us…

Devilish whispers begun to haunt you as you slowly attempted to find your way back to the bedroom. The walls seemed to tighten around you, clouding your vision. Something was crawling behind them, stalking your every move from dark corners, slithering closer. Women’s voices called your name, so quietly you swore it was all just in your head – but when you felt a gush of wind embracing your bare shoulders, you knew it had to be real.

“There she is!”

A fit of childlike giggles echoed all around you, painfully loud. The wind picked up, swirling along your lethargic body as you struggled to stand whilst covering your ears. It felt as if thousands of insects swarmed around you, trapping you in their crazed whirlwind. You desperately tried to swat them away, only to find yourself violently pushed down on the floor, crushed beneath the weight of whatever was assaulting you. Vaguely, you caught a glimpse of a woman dressed in black as you tried to look over your shoulder, but she twisted your soft hair in a merciless grip and forced your head down. The cold blade of a scythe caressed your back, nipping at the fine fabric of your garments. Panicked, you tried to struggle and scream, yet no sound came from your parched throat.

“I’ll make a pretty little necklace from your spine, drăguțo…”

The woman murmured wickedly, raising her arm as if to strike you with the weapon, yet by some God-given miracle you managed to let out a loud, horrified scream. The weight suddenly lifted off your back, disintegrating into large insects which swarmed away into the darkness. When the young maid found you again, you were curled on the floor, aghast and shivering. Together with an older servant, she helped you back to the bedroom, where they kept you company as you forced yourself to drown a cup of tea.

“You need to eat, child.”

The elderly woman tried to encourage you, gently pushing the plate of food closer to your side of the table, but your stomach was tense and your throat tight with fear. You shook your head; all you needed was to leave.

“I have to… get home… May I please use a phone?...”

Quietly, you murmured. Tea spilled from your cup as you held it between your weak, trembling hands. You peeked at the woman seated across from you and found motherly compassion in her grayish eyes. Behind her, the younger maid stood very still, her thin arms over her lap and large eyes affixed on you with both fright and pity.

Neither of them answered your request, but under their careful pressure you did manage to take a few bites which did nothing but increase your nausea. When you refused to finish your meal, they quietly cleared the table and left you with your thoughts. Albeit you were relieved to know there were other people in the house, you couldn’t ignore the harrowing feeling of being trapped. Locked in a glided cage to wither away as flowers did in winter.

You watched the sky slowly morph from one gradient to another as hours passed and the sun hid behind the mountains. Large, pristine snowflakes begun to fall from the heavy clouds above, adding to the sturdy layers already covering a quarter of the window. Their soft dance was calming, grounding you in the moment and almost making you forget that you were still there.

At sunset, the young maid had returned with lunch. She sat the table hurriedly, quite obviously avoiding your gaze as she arranged the silverware. The scent of fresh, warm food made your stomach ache with hunger, yet your attention was solely on her. In a moment of weakness, you caught her intensely staring at your bare throat, as if she was looking for something in particular. You idly followed the quick movements of her panicked chest, wondering what was the root of her anxiety.

“There’s something in this house, isn’t there?... A monster, or a ghost, crawling behind these walls…”

You spoke carefully. Her wide eyes became even wider, shimmering with terror, and she quickly looked away. Either you were right, or you had completely lost your mind. The maid rushed out of the room without a word, once again leaving you by yourself to contemplate your defeat.

- To be continued…

*part VI.

#lady dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu fanfic #lady dimitrescu #countess alcina #alcina x reader #alcina dimitrescu #vampire fanfiction #lesbian fanfic #sapphic love

142 notes · View notes

an-ordinary-roach · 3 years

Text

Name: Tem, Max, Wyn (might collect more!)

Age: 27

BASICS :

Pronouns: They/ He/ It

Sexuality: pan

Zodiac sign: gemini!

Taken or single: single! (aro tho, romo neutral!)

THREE FACTS :

1). I like to do tarot and things like it, something about it just feels nice to get a read of something that’s been boggling one’s mind you know? I use it a lot for dream work and I like to use it to decipher what the dreams are trying to tell peeps! but my 2 rules for it is, mundane before mystical and take the readings with a grain of salt~

2). I gave Bor my childhood fear of dolls+plush toys cuz my old apartment as a kid growing up had my elmo doll standing or sitting in the middle of the doorway all by itself. Everyone was a sleep! I was unfortunate enough to wake up during the middle of the night to see elmo’s silhouette in the dark; (I should tell more stories about that place, it was wild;)

3). I went to a cooking class in my local food pantry place, and it was fun all things considered! We hosted a catering fun raiser, made delicious dishes, cried a bunch from cutting onions!~ My teacher set me up with an appointment to get a job at a bakery near the peer where I live, but it didn’t work out; Bummed about it cus I really wanted to work in a place like that, but honestly it was probably for the best since my back problems arised a year after;

EXPERIENCE :

How’d you start: Someone told me about tumblr and abt homestuck ask blogs and I wanted to have a go at it!~

MUSE PREFERENCES :

Female or male: either or but they’re usually some flavor of nonbinary

Favourite face: uh! hard to say I like monsters so

Least favourite face: fuck elon musk

WRITING PREFERENCES :

Fluff, angst or smut: yes for all

Plots or memes: double yeah!

#abt tem

3 notes · View notes

tobirama-says-fuck-the-uchihas · 5 years

Text

Hashirama & Tobirama With a Little Sister Headcanons

HASHIRAMA

( as children )

♡ butsuma was never really a good father. he was constantly pushing his children into war one way or the other, so i headcanon him as being, to put it bluntly, a very abusive father.

♡ i imagine butsuma being absolutely infuriated when he finds out that his youngest child is a girl

♡ "what am i going to do with this? she won't ever be as strong as my sons!"

♡ with this being mentioned, hashi and tobi's little sister grows up constantly being called a 'total misfire'

♡ so, with that in mind...

♡ get ready for a whole lot of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

♡ GOD, hashi just loves her SO MUCH

♡ when she was little, hashirama would play with her in her room like, all the time. no buts. all the time.

♡ "wanna play with the blocks? you want the green one? here you go!! i love you so much!!!"

♡ he can't believe he has a little sister! three brothers it took to get him here and now all he wants is to play with her constantly

♡ when kawarama and itama become fatalities to the uchiha clan, hashirama has a newfound drive to protect his youngest sibling. he vows to never, ever let anything happen to her, may god help him.

♡ stands up for her against their father. butsuma is furious, but hashi's little sister never forgets that. hashi made a vow to protect her, and that's exactly what he's gonna do.

♡ whenever she has nightmares, he's always there to comfort her, no matter what. if he has a curfew and has to be in his room and stay in there at a certain time, he'll sneak out and crawl through the halls just to get to her room. #goodfam

♡ during the colder months he likes to wrap a long scarf around his sister and throw one of the ends over her head, just for shits and giggles

♡ she doesn't mind, she's giggling too

( as teenagers )

♡ when things get a little more rocky in their lives now that hashirama is older, he finds he doesn't have enough time for his baby sister anymore. right around the corner he'll be in his twenties, and his baby sister is still only barely past the age of ten. now that he's much more stronger and able to provide more for his family, he's willing to do anything it takes, even if it means he won't always physically be there for his sister.

♡ when butsuma passes away and hashirama becomes the head of the senju clan, there's a lot of strain on him, but he manages to pull through

♡ his baby sister is always getting noogies or having her hair ruffled by him

♡ once she was complaining about her hair getting too long and how she didn't like it, so hashi sat her down and cut her hair for her. he was like "OMG KSJGFSHGBJRGH IM GONNA CUT YOUR HAIR ARE YOU READY? im not the best at cutting hair. like, TERRIBLE. im TERRIBLE at it. but i hope it'll look good on u!! cus ur so cute!! look at those squishy cheeks!!!!"

♡ his little sister is like "uhh, on second thought???"

♡ he does a terrible job

♡ he cuts it at about a few inches above her shoulders but it's so UNEVEN

♡ he tried his best

♡ she cries because it looks so bad but can't get mad at poor hashi

♡ his little sister enjoys practicing being a homemaker before fighting other clans, so that's what she does. while hashi and tobi are out, she stays at home and sweeps, scrubs the floors on her hands and knees, does the dishes, washes the laundry as best she can, etc

♡ by the time hashi and tobi get home she's fallen asleep on the floor

♡ "HEY (NAME) WANNA HEAR ABOUT THIS CRAZY THING THAT HAPPENED TODAY"

♡ when she woke up nothing went well.

♡ if his little sister wants to dabble in some medical ninjutsu, hashi complies immediately. 3 seconds after the words are out of her mouth hashi is dashing out of the house towards the medical quarters to see if he can find a nurse nin to teach his lil sis

♡ oh, btw, lots of "sis"'s

♡ and hugs

♡ and cheek kisses

♡ he can't resist he loves his baby sister SO much. like, 100/10 would fr die for her

TOBIRAMA

( as children )

♡ he comes off as a bit cold and distant sometimes, but he really does care about his little sister, especially after itama and kawarama.

♡ whenever she'd come up to him wanting to play he shrugged her off and made her cry quite a handful of times, but every time he'd cringe at her sniffling and would be guilt-tripped into stacking blocks with her or some shit like that lmfao

♡ tobi definitely would not go to hashirama's level of affection for their little sister. it's just... it's just kinda nasty to him

♡ he hates the idea of receiving such affection and wouldn't "obsessively" kiss or hug his baby sister like SOMEONE he knows

♡ although once in a while he'll lay a hand on the top of her head

♡ she doesn't really know what's happening but he takes it off after .2 seconds

♡ he just aint that kinda brutha

♡ one time his sister started uncontrollably crying in the garden outside of their house and when he came to see what was wrong she pointed at a dead lizard on the ground and "i stepped on him!" poor babey

♡ tobirama honestly doesn't see how that's a problem. big deal, how many, i dunno, ants has he stepped on before? he never cried about that. he just cant understand what the big deal is. it's a lizard. there's billions of them.

♡ "so what? he was bound to be caught by a bird sometime or the other."

♡ in which the crying ensues, again, and tobirama begrudgingly places a hand on his sister's shoulder in some way to console her, but that's the best he can do. if his sister jumps at him while she's crying for comfort, he may lay a hand on the back of her neck while cries on him. that's it though

( as teenagers )

♡ when he's in his late teens, he's constantly out of the house preparing battle strategies just in case. he's virtually never at home except for when he gets off from his strategizing earlier than normal. when he's out late, he doesn't come home till past midnight probably or he'll be pulling an all-nighter. it's just who he is, and battle strategizing in case of a uchiha attack is necessary. someone's gotta do it

♡ now that his sister is older, she now has a bit of knowledge in the kitchen, and sometimes makes a little, small snack for her brother if he gets home late. it's not much, but it's the best she can do. probably something like a little tiny cupcake or a small dish of sliced fruit for him

♡ he appreciates it, but will never ever say that to her. his pride wouldn't be able to take it, showing thanks to a little girl when at the very least it should be him cooking for her. but we all know he doesn't have time for that

♡ once hashirama switched around the salt and sugar jars by accident since he just. he just doesn't know anything that goes on in the kitchen. it was a mistake. their little sister decided to make a little treat for tobirama when he got home, and she put salt in the cupcake instead of sugar. made it all nice and as neat as an eleven-year-old could, even put only a very small amount of icing on the top, just how tobi likes it

♡ when tobi got home he found it sitting out on the kotatsu in the dining room and decided to take only a bite before getting ready for a much-needed hot bath

♡ and promptly spat it out on the floor

♡ he was SO angry. ???????? like??????? did she do this on purpose??? was she messing with him?? was she angry that tobirama couldn't stay home the other night to eat dinner with her???? she knew that he had a busy schedule, so her giving him this garbage was unacceptable and selfish

♡ he's just a big grump

♡ when he confronts her about it the next day, shes like ??????? huh??? i didn't put salt in the food, get your mouth checked

♡ and then hashirama, amidst the loud arguing, is rubbing his neck like ...... hey guys, i have a confession to make

♡ when konoha is formed, tobirama is old enough to have his own home, and hashirama is arranged for a marriage with a woman named mito uzumaki. so tobirama moves out, and brings his little sister with him

♡ she runs the house while he's out being hashi's right-hand-man and whatnot

♡ y'know, slaving away, but now, thanks to hashi, pretty good at medical ninjutsu

♡ now that they're living alone together, tobirama has a bit more time for her. when he's free, he takes his sister out to a secluded spot to practice battle moves with her, pretty much trying to show her everything he knows, as much as he can. if his sister has an affinity for water like him, then all the more convenient. this gives him a much larger platform to teach her on

♡ she lowkey hates his style of teaching though

♡ "i can't be hitting you that hard" headass

♡ tobi she's like, thirteen, with barely any battle experience. you're a grown adult male whom has literally wasted some people, including that spikey-haired angry man's brother, ok

#hashirama #hashirama senju #tobirama #tobirama senju #hashirama x reader #hashirama senju x reader #tobirama x reader #tobirama senju x reader #naruto #naruto fanfiction #naruto headcanons #naruto shippuden #naruto shippuden headcanons #founders trio #founders trio headcanons #naruto scenarios #naruto shippuden scenarios #naruto imagines #naruto shippuden imagines

349 notes · View notes

green-spear-of-causality · 5 years

Note

For the OTP Drabbles Ask thing. 21- Proto-Cu and Robin Hood

- And so it begins.

I hope you enjoy, @oddnub!

21. "Jinx, you owe me a coke." *Can't speak until they buy the other a soda*

Proto Cú's Luck was as abysmal as ever.

First, he woke up and fell off the bed. After untangling himself from his blankets, he padded towards Chaldea's mess hall only to accidentally bump into Gilgamesh -- yes, the one from his older self's Grail War. The Gold Archer then proceeded to mock him, pointing out his messy hair (that was hastily put into its ponytail, give him a break it's his day off - ) as well as his clumsy footing while laughing in that condescending way of his. Proto Cú hurried around him to grab a bite to eat, only to slip in the remnants of last night's Food War and fall face-first into a pile of molding cheese. Gilgamesh howled with laughter, and Proto Cú felt his cheeks burn as he stood up and went to the sink to wash his face off.

He didn't think it could get any worse than this.

"Yo."

Proto Cú whipped his head around to see Robin Hood wave to him, the Green Archer situating himself on one of the very few untouched seats. All the others had some form of ketchup, eggs, or relish on them (Nobu knew how to utterly vandalize a place).

"Yo..." Proto Cú sighed out, wiping his face off on a dish towel. Robin's mouth quirked in amusement at seeing the Lancer's miserable face, eyebrow raised in concern.

"You look awful. What happened?"

"Goldie happened."

"Ah." Robin tilted his head towards him in sympathy, and Proto Cú felt a wave of gratitude for the Archer. Ever since they met, they hit it off almost instantly. It was similar to how his and Emiya's friendship worked, actually; the main difference was that he apparently shared a single brain cell with Robin, considering the amount of memes they casually throw at each other.

Another thing they shared was their love of pranks. Proto Cú had waited until he felt that their friendship was on a more secure level to hide Robin's cloak (it...actually smelled pretty nice) underneath Alter's mattress. He did it with permission from the Berserker, of course; he didn't have a death wish. He then got to watch with amusement as Robin sent him a withering glare for the rest of the first day, the May King scurrying around Chaldea and asking numerous Servants if they've seen his cloak. The Archer eventually found it a week later, looking like he fought four lions to get to it and flipping Proto Cú the bird once they saw each other again.

"I won't forget this," He had declared. Proto Cú remembered waving him off, too busy wheezing as he took pictures of Robin for future blackmail to really consider the implications.

And now, he wishes that he had. Proto Cú wasn't an idiot; he'd get his due eventually from him. The questions were when, and how.

Actually... Proto Cú frowned. "What are you doing up this early? You're usually walking around in another hour or so."

"Can't a Servant change their schedule up a bit?" Robin said innocuously, and immediately warning bells were ringing in Proto Cú's head. Robin prided himself on the amount of sleep he got; while Proto Cú rose with the sun, the May King waited until it was nearly all the way up in the sky to even consider moving.

Crimson eyes narrowed. "Uh-huh."

Robin snorted in laughter at his suspicion. "Nevermind that; let's eat some breakfast!"

"Like what?" Proto Cú asked as he grabbed some dish soap and a sponge, wiping down the seat next to Robin and drying it off before sitting down.

Robin looked around, stopping his search as his eyes landed on something. "Well, we'll just ask the Red Archer himself."

Proto Cú followed Robin's line of sight to the dual-wielding Archer, who scrunched his nose up at the sight of the destroyed mess hall. The Lancer lifted his hand and waved to him, calling out. "Yo, Archer! Do you know what's for breakfast?"

"I was going to try my hand at a Western-styled dish," The Counter Guardian began, making his way over to them, "But it seems that it will have to wait until a new shipment arrives. The only thing left should be the leftovers from yesterday..."

The Red Archer stepped into the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out a plate of dumplings. Robin and Proto Cú stared; they knew that it was enough food to fill one Servant, not two.

Silence. Then,

"Gimme that bitch!"

"You better STOP! STOOOOP!!"

Emiya grunted as the two Servants pushed each other out of the way to reach for the plate, the taller Archer holding it over his head as they jumped for it. They were arguing all the while, and slowly he was developing a headache because of it.

"Let me at least set down the goddamn plate first or so help me I'll - "

He didn't finish. He didn't need to; Robin and Proto Cú stilled, drawing back and looking at him.

They spoke in perfect unison, seeming to sing the two words. "...You're angry."

Emiya blinked. The duo locked eyes with each other, shouting in tandem. "JINX! DOUBLE JINX!"

Robin then kicked Proto Cú's shin hard, making the blue-haired Servant double over in pain. He grabbed the plate of dumplings, Emiya letting him with a sigh as he dropped back into his seat to eat.

Proto Cú could hear the smugness in his voice. "Triple jinx. You owe me a coke."

"Son of a bitch!" Proto Cú cried out, Emiya sending him The Look as Jack and Nursery Rhyme chose that time to enter the mess hall themselves. The Lancer couldn't believe that he fell for it; Robin was known for playing dirty when it was required, and he's seen him do it numerous times to their enemies.

"You know the rules." Robin sing-songed, and Proto Cú gritted his teeth. He then mimed drinking a bottle, favoring his injured shin as he all but ran out of the room.

Emiya turned to Robin, anger forgotten as curiosity took over. "Mind explaining that?"

"He's jinxed." Robin stated matter-of-factly, taking a bite out of another dumpling and humming in content. Emiya didn't even know that he liked cold dumplings. "He can't talk until he gets me a soda. Specifically, Coca-Cola."

An ominous smile stretched across his face. "Little does he know that I've hidden all of the Coca-Cola Chaldea has in the last place he'd ever think to look."

Emiya blanched. He then paled in horror, eyes wide with disbelief. "...You didn't."

Robin cackled. "I did."

"But - That's - "

"Suicide?" Robin poked a dumpling absentmindedly. "Well...he should've thought about that before stealing my cloak and putting it in Alter's room."

"This is an entirely different manner of beast we're discussing here, Robin." Emiya stressed, resting his hands on the (thankfully clean) counter. "You know what she can do, especially considering it's him - "

"He'll be fine." Robin said, a little bit too forcefully, and Emiya could see that he was trying to reassure himself. The May King grimaced, no longer finding the situation as amusing as he had beforehand.

"...He has to be."

--------

Goddamn smug Archer with his goddamn kicks - ! Proto Cú seethed, unable to voice his frustrations out loud as he made his way over to Da Vinci's Workshop. He couldn't believe that he fell for the oldest trick in the book; hell, he should've expected it!

He threw the door open, startling Da Vinci. The genius let out a breath, body sagging in relief.

"Oh, it's just you, Proto...I thought you were Romani for a second. What can I do for you?"

Where can I get some damn Coca-Cola? Proto Cú almost said that out loud, but he remembered Robin's smug look as he jinxed him.

He grimaced. He mimed drinking something, drawing a C in midair before Da Vinci got it.

"Oh, Coca-Cola? So Robin finally got you, didn't he?"

HE PLANNED FOR THIS?! Proto Cú wanted to scream, instead settling for throwing his hands into the air while his face contorted into some form of angered exasperation. I should've known that it was payback for the cloak...

Da Vinci giggled at his antics, looking over her work with a knowing smile. "Sorry, but I don't have any Cola here. You can wait for the new shipment to come in, if you want to; it'll come in...oh, about three months."

THAT'S THREE MONTHS TOO MANY!! Proto Cú silently groaned, burying his face in his hands. Da Vinci hummed.

"Well, try asking Romani. He's the one who keeps an eye on the shipments coming into Chaldea, and also keeps track of inventory. If anyone would know where to find some Cola, it'd be him."

Proto Cú bowed in gratitude, taking off down the hallway towards the Doctor. In his haste he almost ran over Arthur, scaring the Saber.

"Lancer! Why are you in such a rush?"

Proto Cú waved his hands around wildly, mind in disarray. Can't talk gotta go find Roman so he can tell me where the Cola is because for some reason it's gone from Da Vinci's Workshop and this is turning into some Grand Adventure -

Arthur held up a hand, making him pause. "Is this about a bet between you and Robin Hood? If it helps, I heard him in the West Wing a couple of days ago in the dead of night. I was visiting Mordred at the time, and it was late, so I was surprised to see him out and about."

The West Wing. That was where the female Servants resided, and if Robin was there, then -

Oh no. A voice, one that sounded very much like Ozpin when Hazel found him reverberated within his reference-addled mind. Robin had to have hidden the Cola as payback; that much, he was sure of.

If he was in the West Wing, then that left two options: Scáthach, or -

Don't think about the Devil lest she appear.

Proto Cú nodded his thanks, Arthur wishing him luck with a smile and a wave as he took off. He'd go to his mentor's room first; that way, if he had to die at least it'd be an honorable death. He straightened himself as he approached her door, knocking thrice.

The answer was immediate. "Come in."

Proto opened the door. His mentor sat cross-legged on her bed, braiding Fran's hair as a soft tune played in the background. The Berserker hummed along brokenly with it, a smile on her face, and Proto felt as if he was intruding on a serene moment.

Scáthach side-eyed him. "State your business."

Proto Cú inwardly sighed. Was he really prepared to embarrass himself in front of his mentor? ...It was too late to back out, anyhow. He outlined an invisible drink, spelling out C-O-L-A with his hands before stepping back and waiting for a response.

Scáthach paused in her actions, Fran continuing to hum happily. "If this is about that Green Archer, then I don't have anything of value to you. I heard him speak to Medb three days ago, though, in the dead of night."

...

It really was the Worst-Case-Scenario.

Proto Cú nodded his thanks, and turned to go. Scáthach stopped him, her words giving him pause.

"Good luck, my student. You know what you must do."

Aye. He thought miserably, gently closing the door behind him so as to not further disrupt the serenity. He had two options: either wait for the next shipment to come in, or to brave the horrors of Medb's room.

He didn't think he could stay mute for three months.

Robin's lucky that I'm not going to eviscerate him with my spear. Proto Cú manifested it just in case, tip toeing towards the Rider's room. Then again, this whole mess is my fault in the first place. I've learned my lesson.

He sucked in a breath and knocked.

Silence. He waited with bated breath, deciding to knock again. No response. He almost knocked a third time before noticing that the door was unlocked. Just as he was about to open it, movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.

A dust cloud was seen in the distance, seeming to grow larger with each passing second. A high pitched sound made itself known to him, becoming louder as he turned to face it.

...The hell?

He peered closer. It...actually looked like a person was running -

"CÚÚÚÚÚÚÚÚ!!!!!"

Medb.

Oh shit.

RUN!!!

Proto Cú let the fear kick his legs into overdrive, turning tail and running back the way he came. He could hear the Rider's footsteps growing closer; was she..actually catching up to him?

If you stop, you're dead. His mind helpfully supplied, making him almost let loose a string of curses. No matter how many turns he took, she was right there behind him. It was like she had a Cú Detector on hand.

I need to lose her somehow!

He was in the East Wing. Think...Think! His older Lancer counterpart yawned as he stepped out of his room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Perfect.

Proto Cú slapped his fellow Lancer's back as he ran by, diving behind the couch as the other stumbled. "What the - ?"

"YAYYY THERE'S ANOTHER CÚ!!" Medb's voice made the counterpart yelp and start running, leaving Proto Cú alone as he emerged from his hiding spot. He dusted himself off, sending a silent apology to his older self as he ran towards Medb's room.

It was time to end this nightmare.

--------

He'll be fine. He has to be. Robin paced back and forth in one of the break rooms, Emiya watching him out of the corner of his eye with a knowing smirk.

"Worried?"

"Shut up." He retorted, mentally berating himself for not telling Medb to go easy on him. This is the last time I let my anger get the best of me.

The door burst open. Robin's head whipped up to see Cú - not Proto, but the other Lancer version - throw himself into the room and slam the door shut behind him, locking it.

Crimson met steel. "Hide me."

"Pardon?" Emiya asked, confused. Cú gave him no time to respond; the Lancer moved around behind him and peeked over his shoulder, eyes trained on the door. Robin noticed his messy hair, strands sticking this way and that, and figured that the blue-haired Servant just woke up.

"A crazy bitch is after me." Cú whispered, eyes wide yet unmoving. "I don't care what I have to do to make it up to you; just hide me."

Emiya glanced down at him. To Robin's amazement, his face morphed into a strange expression for a split second before going back to its default. "There's a side room tucked away in the back right. Stay in there until I say otherwise."

"You are a lifesaver!" Cú breathed a sigh of relief as he went through the side door, shutting it softly behind him.

Robin stared at Emiya.

"Don't say it."

Robin stared.

"...It was spur of the moment."

Stare.

Emiya flushed in embarrassment. "It's not - "

The doorknob jiggled.

The two Archers zeroed in on it, falling silent as it rumbled more violently. The readied themselves for a battle they'd rather not have, drawing their weapons -

The knob broke as Proto Cú burst into the room, scouring it for .4 seconds before chucking something at Robin. The Green Archer yelped as the offending object hit his head, falling into his lap innocuously and resting there.

"There's your motherfuckin' Cola." Proto Cú said in exhaustion, closing the door behind him and dropping to the ground. Emiya lowered his weapons, letting them dematerialize as he let out a puff of air to relax his suddenly tense muscles.

Robin opened the Cola, taking a sip. "You're alive." He noted.

Proto Cú bristled. "Yeah, no thanks to you! I can't believe you've done this!"

The British accent made Robin chuckle. "I know, I know. Bringing in Medb was a bit much."

"A bit? A BIT?!" As Proto Cú began his (unnecessarily long) rant, Emiya gave the two a small smile. They really did act like an old married couple, didn't they?

All's well ends well, I suppose.

-------- OMAKE! --------

Fsn Cú: ...Is it safe to come out yet?

Fsn Cú: Oi! Guys? Helloooo?

Robin: Just come out of the fucking closet already

Robin: We all know you're gay for Emiya

Fsn Cú, opening the door: Okay, thanks -

Fsn Cú:

Fsn Cú: Wait -

Fsn Cú: WHAT -

32 notes · View notes

a-cai-jpg · 5 years

Text

this is a very stilted post.

I have a collection of songs that make me cry.

I'm not in the habit of playing them very often. I don't even save them in my YouTube favorites, or my wormhole of a Spotify account. I kind of leave it up to fate for the familiar melody and lyrics to find me again, and on days where I feel especially brave, I'll queue it up on a drive. But only on a drive.

I watched a variety show about songwriters a few months back, and one of my favorite contestants said something along the lines of, "I think everyone has a theme that they just can't touch."

Sometimes, it's because the pain is still too raw. Sometimes, it's because we're too fearful to truly reckon with the sorrow, unwilling to drink it in, let it roll around in our mouths as the bitter flavor penetrates our tongue, and feel it burn on the way down.

I don't listen to the songs often because I'm afraid I'll become desensitized, that the most humane and most compassionate part of me will become numb.

But also because I'm not in the business of seeking out pain.

I used to be obsessed with tragedy, chasing it with a sort of masochistic relish because I thought you could never be as human as you were when you cried. It's kind of like why people really like those sad, touching Thai commercials that make you bawl your eyes out without fail every time.

But as I grew older, I realized there really is something that I can't touch. Sometimes, I tongue the edges of it, prodding with caution, but only on very, very rare occasions do I peel away the protective layer. There are some things I can't watch, can't listen to too closely, or else I'll feel myself unravel around the edges.

And not gonna lie, but now is not a time I'm willing to tug at the ends of the thread. So instead, I'll let a past me do that.

When I was a sophomore in university, I submitted a monologue for the annual Asian cultural show. It was submitted anonymously, because at the time, it wasn't something I was ready to talk about.

(it still isn't, but i have gotten more practice talking about it in the years that have elapsed.)

See, what had happened was, I was watching Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo (disappointment of my life, sorry the Chinese version is better even though the Korean cast is bEaUtIfUl), and suddenly, I had a mini-panic attack about death.

It was the dumbest thing. I was watching Park Soondeok try to woo Wang Eun, and the silly girl--bless her heart--hunted a whole bear to express her love for him. I remember the scene had startled me, because she popped on screen with a bear skin covering her body. And I was like, "Uh that's like, a lot of bad karma right."

And I don't really know how karma works, but I suddenly remembered something that my grandmother had said a long time ago. She said that she was a sinner, because she's "killed" so much for our family.

In Chinese, the words she used were 杀生, which literally means "kill life" but generally, animal life.

She said it because she is the main chef of our family. Whenever she visited China, our family would go through a bit of crisis because that meant either my grandfather cooked or my mom's boyfriend cooked.

Once, my grandfather served me Palmier cookies and the same fried rice we'd eaten for a week for dinner. Often, my mom's boyfriend chopped up carrots and celery to dip with ranch for dinner.

It was great.

(no, but our family barely functioned when my grandmother was gone. those six months would be us sitting silently around the dinner table, daring each other to be the first to try a dish.)

Weirdly, that little thing she said stuck with me. And in that moment, sophomore year of college, sitting in my top bunk watching Scarlet Heart Ryeo, I panicked.

I can't really dissect why I panicked. But the result was this ridiculous plan that I had to stop eating meat for the rest of my life to collect all the good karma for my grandmother.

(yeah, so that didn't last because I literally got sausages that weekend cus hello, continental breakfast.)

It wasn't that I never thought about death or my family members dying before then. In the second grade, I read a story about the friendship between a squirrel and a leaf, and cried and cried and cried when the story ended and the leaf died, not because the leaf died but because the leaf promised to be reborn, and would be reborn at the turn of the year, but humans wouldn't be.

But for some reason, all of the separate moments of panic and fear dispersed over a decade culminated in that moment, as I watched Soodeok pull the bearskin off of her head, and I started crying so hard I couldn't breathe.

So I wrote a monologue. The original draft was very, very long and very, very detailed, and I probably went through half a box of tissues writing it. I eventually cut it down and didn't save the first copy because I never wanted to read it again.

The theme of the monologue comes up every time I talk about my Chinese American identity. It comes up in personal statements, in creative narratives, in discussion groups, and in the Facebook likes I dish out whenever I see a relevant Subtle Asian Traits post. It's the sense of biculturalism and the accompanying endeavor to somehow reconcile my reality with that of my immigrant parents and grandparents. It's the weary acceptance that ultimately, there may be no reconciliation, and all that's left is regret.

Whenever someone asks me what my favorite food is, I would say spring onion noodles. But this is the funny part--I will never order them in a restaurant. Some time in middle school, I went on a family trip with my extended relatives in China. Every time we stopped to eat, my aunt would order me a bowl of spring onion noodles because she knew I loved it so much, and every time, I would make a face and say, "Grandma does it better."

See, I don't know if she actually does. I just knew I liked hers more.

After my grandmother returned to China, I started making spring onion noodles myself, because it tasted more like home even if I never got it right.

I also really like dumplings. My grandma makes the best dumplings, but I'm afraid to ask her to make them, because the last time I did, they were too salty. Now, I'm afraid to ask her to make spring onion noodles too, because maybe my memories tasted better than the real thing.

But the real, real reason I'm scared is that I'm scared she's getting old. I'm scared her tastebuds are not the same as they were when she lived in Monterey Park, cooking in our second floor kitchen.

In my senior year of college, I called my grandmother for the first time on my own. The moment I heard her voice, staticky over the long distance call, I started crying, and it was stupid because I had to pretend I wasn't crying and I was trying to talk normally and it was awful because it was the kind where your voice came in hiccupy stutters, and she definitely knew I was crying because she kept asking, "Why did you call? What's wrong?" while acting casual, for my sake.

When I was in the eighth grade, I was walking a friend's German Shepherd that ended up dragging me across the pavement in the park. It's a story I tell a lot, because it is truly hilarious in hindsight, but the ending goes like this:

I go home crying, because my glasses broke and I have cuts on the back of my left hand and down my face. I take a bath, something I grew out of doing years ago, and my grandmother doesn't reprimand me. She sits next to me and speaks in that vaguely disapproving voice of her, the tone of so many old Asian ladies, and tells me that life is hard and you will meet people that you don't get along with, but you just have to suck it up. And I start crying harder, because she cared.

That day, she also followed me from the front door of our house to my mom's master bathroom, asking, "What's wrong?"

We talk a lot about the Chinese zodiac in our household, more when my grandmother and grandfather still lived with us, but my aunt brought it up a few days ago. In the Chinese zodiac, the ox and the sheep are foils to each other--me and my grandmother. When I was little, I would say, "Ugh, this is why we fight so often." A few days ago, my mom said, "That's why you and grandma never got along," and I stayed silent.

I sometimes tell people that my grandmother is more like my mother figure, and my mom is more like an older sister. And my mom hates it. But, it's because everything that others associate with an Asian mom, I associate with my grandmother. All the memes about immigrant mother bringing their children peeled and cut fruit are about my grandmother, fending off my complaints about having to eat apples every single day, and stubbornly bringing me sliced apples and pears. All the stories about immigrant parents expressing their love through the words "Come eat. Food is ready," is my grandmother who singlehandedly kept her family together through sheer will and a kitchen stove.

Sometimes, when I'm brave enough to talk to people about how I feel about her, I would say that I would gladly give her half of the rest of my life, just so we can leave together. I'm scared her life would be less than perfect, and I wish I made money earlier so I can take her to Cambridge and Rome, but I'm also scared that I'm selfish and weak and unable to give her what she really wants.

Anyways.

Four tissues later, here's the monologue:

I am obsessed with time.

I am obsessed with time, but I hate the way the second hand moves relentlessly in an endless loop on the face of an old clock. I am obsessed with time, but I hate the way the mention of it tightens my throat, squeezing until the pressure travels to my heart and lungs, and finally settling somewhere deep in my gut.

I was told that time is linear. The Second Law of Thermodynamics. Chaos and disorder grow infinitely—there is no going back.

When I was little and time was but a tiny grain of sand in a large, foreboding hourglass, I believed in guardian angels. They were the ones who caught me tumbling from a swing, having flown too high on my too weak wings. They were the ones who waited outside the gates of my elementary school—a familiar face of comfort floating amidst a crowd of foreign visages. They were the ones who promised me plates and plates of hand-wrapped dumplings, and most importantly, they were the only ones who could cook spring onion noodles with a sunny side up egg the way I liked it, and no restaurant could ever hope to get the taste just the same.

But also, when I was little, I believed that guardian angels existed outside of time. They were immortal, they gave me life. But as the number of years they conferred to me increased, they seemed to become more and more human.

Sometimes, I’d blink, and for a terrifying moment, I’d catch glimpse of an elderly couple, backs hunched and hair splattered with grey, standing in my kitchen.

This is me, a girl obsessed with time. I had the liberty of being born and raised in the United States. My Chinese immigrant parents labored long days at work, and my grandparents were given the roles as my primary caretakers.

My grandfather was the quiet one, a retired electrical engineer who made it his mission to somehow teach me to love mathematics. My grandmother was the loud one, previously a librarian—the irony, I know—who never went to college but could calculate prices of groceries faster than I could pull out a calculator. I grew up dancing around their peculiar dynamic, seesawing back and forth between going ant-watching with my grandfather as I recited the Chinese timestables and trying to finish too many platters of food my grandmother piled in front of me as she told me stories of life back in China—in the good old days.

Growing up in California, it was inevitable that I saw the United States as home to both me and my family. It was where I had spent nearly two decades of my life—and where my mother, grandmother, and grandfather had spent nearly two decades of their lives.

And yet, two decades was not nearly enough time. Space could not be reconciled, and time was rendered obsolete.

Home, for them, was not our little town in the suburbs of LA. When my father passed away, my mother said, “We don’t have enough money to bring him home.” She’d said it carelessly in front of me, perhaps thinking 6-year-old me wouldn’t notice, let alone understand. But 6-year-old me did. Home, I realized, for them wasn’t home for me.

The thought was terrifying. I realized that there will come a time, when I’d return home, and it wouldn’t be the same place my mother, my grandmother, and my grandfather returned to.

I began to play with the idea of condensing time and space. How great it would be, if home was simultaneously California and China. Time differences, traveling time, the Pacific Ocean would be utterly abolished, and our hearts would return home together.

But time flew by and the pile of sand grains at the bottom of the hourglass grew without my noticing. I hadn’t yet the chance to tell my grandparents about my meditation on time and space, and suddenly, my grandfather decided to return home. Time had seemed to warp, fastforwarding the years I’d taken for granted, and now refusing to slow down.

Here’s the thing—I do not wish to be selfish. I want my family to be happy—to return home—but I am terrified that my own fragile notion of home will shatter in return.

Because the reality is, home isn’t physical space. Home is, in all truthfulness, time. Time I’d spent with my family, and the years I have left to spend with them.

I’d let time slip through my fingers as I tried to come up with this theory of “home.” I’d tried to condense “home” into a condominium, apartment D, a large peach tree shading the backyard. Yet now, the tree has been cut down, and my mother speaks of moving to a city forty minutes away. What then, I ask myself, is home?

Home is the promises I’d made to my grandparents—promises I’m no longer sure I can keep because I cannot cover large enough distances with so little time. Home is the way I could never tell them “I love you,” and the regret that builds in my heart as I realize that home is a ticking time bomb that threatens to throw the world into chaos. Entropy increases. Things fall apart.

In a little bit, home will be too many miles away, too many hours away, for me to return to. Home will be in a foreign city surrounded by a peculiar amalgamation of unfamiliar modernity and history she’d lived through. Home will be on the opposite shore of an ocean I cannot swim across, with no one to cook spring onion noodles for.

I am a girl obsessed with time. I’d been blessed with a lot of time, and yet, I’d tossed it all out of the window of my second story bedroom. I am a girl obsessed with time, and I’d trade in my soul for it to reverse, so I can make home a little more concrete, a little more happy, a little more lasting. I am a girl obsessed with time, and when I wake up 2:30 in the morning, I think I can see the sands rushing down the chute of the hourglass, and the sight of it tears me apart.

I am a girl obsessed with time, and I would like to apologize to my beloved mother, grandmother, and grandfather for taking so much of it for granted. If I had another run at these eighteen years, I only hope to reach this conclusion sooner and fulfill my promises.

Dear grandma and grandpa,

I am a girl obsessed with time. Every day, I pray to God to give you a little more. How had the time flown by so quickly? Was yesterday not the day you brought me on the airplane for the first time? I can still taste the juice of the grapes a stranger had given us—snacks for the little girl—in the back of my tongue. Yet now I’m no longer the toddler you held in your arms. Grandma and grandpa, time is rushing by on a train I cannot seem to catch. Will you forgive me for reaching our home a little too late?

Love.

(i included my favorite part in a creative narrative project i did for a class in college. if you want to hear it in my voice: here.) (pls don’t click for the sake of my voice bc i sound like a literal duck. click for my grandparents wandering around hangzhou.) (also, if it is different its cus i tried to fit it in somehow with a longer poem i was writing.) (i don’t like poems.)

The reason I wrote this isn't that I wanted to pick at a scab. I heard a song recently, from the same songwriter variety show, that I had blindsided a few months back. I heard it at around 1 am in the morning, and I cried.

Here is the collection of songs:

橘子 by 邓见超

考试考得好不好啊？ how did you do on your test? 有没有拿到大红花 did you get the big red flower? 老师夸我是个乖仔啊 my teacher said i was a good kid 奶奶自己保重圣体吧 grandma, take care of yourself 长大了出息了要晓得回家 when you grow older and do big things, remember to come home 别忘了这里的青山和路弯 don't forget the green mountains and windy roads here 记得要带一瓶辣椒在身上 remember to bring with you a bottle of peppers 还时常跟妈妈报平安 and often let your mom know you're doing fine ... 房子旁两棵树都被砍掉了 the two trees by our house have been cut off 墙上还贴着小时候的奖状 my childhood awards are still plastered on the walls 一个字一个字好像昨天啊 each word, each word, like it was just yesterday 宝贝儿子啊吃饭了 son, it's time for dinner 再不回家妈妈要教训你了 if you don't come home now, mom's going to be mad 这个淘气的孩子跑去那里玩了 this mischievous kid, where did he go? 找他都找不到人了 i'm looking for him, but i can't find him.

一荤一素 by 毛不易

一张小方桌有一荤一素 a small, square table with one vegetable and one meat 一个身影从容地忙忙碌碌 a figure good-naturedly bustling about 一双手让这时光有了温度 a pair of hands allowed this time some warmth 太年轻的人他总是不满足 the one who is too young, he's not satisfied 固执地不愿停下远行的脚步 stubbornly unwillingly to stop the footsteps traveling far away 望着高高的天走了长长的路 looking at the far, far sky; walking a long, long road 忘了回头看她有没有哭 he forgot to turn around to see if she's crying 月儿明风儿轻 >the moon is clear, the wind is light 可是你在敲打我的窗棂 is it you, knocking on my window? 听到这儿你就别担心 now that you've listened till here, please don't worry 其实我过的还可以 actually, i'm doing okay ... 你又可曾来过我的梦里 have you been to my dreams lately? 一定是你来时太小心 you must've been too careful when you came 知道我睡得轻 knowing that i sleep lightly 一定是你来时太小心 you must've been too careful when you came 怕我再想起你 afraid i'll miss you

父亲 by 筷子兄弟

时光时光慢些吧不要再让你变老了 time, time, please slow down. don't let you grow any older 我愿用我一切换你岁月长留<<br>i'm willing to trade everything i have for more years and months for you ... 微不足道的��心收下吧 please accept my inadequate care for you 谢谢你做的一切双手撑起我们的家 thank you for holding up our family with your hands 总是竭尽所有把最好的给我 always doing everything to give me the best ... 我是你的骄傲吗还在为我而担心吗 am i your pride? do you still worry for me? 你牵挂的孩子啊长大啦 the child you think of has grown up now.

时间都去哪了 by 王铮亮 (this is a cover)

时间都去哪儿了 where has all the time gone? 还没好好感受年轻就老了 haven't even truly experienced youth, and i'm already old 生儿养女一辈子 took care of children my entire lfe 满脑子都是孩子哭了笑了 all i can hear is the cries and laughter of children 时间都去哪儿了 where has all the time gone? 还没好好看看你眼睛就花了 haven't even looked at you carefully yet, and my vision is already blurring

if only... by ozi

如果可以把時間退後 if i can rewind time 別讓命運把妳給帶走 i won't let fate take you away 對妳能說著我最近做些什麼 i want to be able to tell you what i've been doing these days 希望別再錯過 i hope i won't miss it again 如果可以讓我跟她說 if only i can just tell her 願意付出我所有為了 i'm willing to trade everything i have 能換一點時間just to see you again for a little time just to see you again 別再擔心著我 so you don't have to worry about me anymore

3 notes · View notes

eroticcannibal · 6 years

Text

OK SO HERE IS EVERYTHING ABOUT MY HELLISH TIME IN LONDON TO SEE DIR EN GREY

If you are just looking for stuff about the gig, scroll down to the bold and italics bit cus I have some ranting to do.

OK SO Everything was fine, was a bit cold when I left home but that’s fine, wore some trousers planning to change once I got to the hostel. Catching the coach was fine. Reached London, left the coach station like “ah, now I can smoke”. Go to roll a cigarette, BUT MY STUFF IS GONE. Couldn’t find it anywhere. Great. So I go buy some more and plan out my route to the hostel. Looks easy enough, catch the Victoria line then a 10 min walk. What could go wrong? Should take half an hour, I had an hour till my planned arival time, then an hour to change and do my makeup, then leave the hostel at 5. Plenty of time.

So I get to where google told me my hostel was. And there is no hostel. Ok maybe it’s just hard to see, right? So I ask around. No one knows anything about a hostel. One person knows about a hostel across the road that was demolished, but that’s it. I was pretty sure I was in the right place, since I was looking for somewhere on Seven Sister’s road, and all the shops had Seven Sistsers mentioned on it, and there were tube stations that said Seven Sistsers on them. (Turns out this road was actually High Road! What the fuck! London is bullshit!) So I called the hostel (which thankfully did exist) and got some directions. Which weren’t very clear. And got more lost. So I called my girlfriend! To get more directions! “Hey I’m at the Costa” “ok theres like 4 of them” “across from tesco” “theres 3 costas across from tesco on that road”. EVENTUALLY I found the hostel. at 5. I had been no more than 15 minutes away the whole time but it took 2 HOURS TOTAL to get there.

And then when I check in I CAN’T PAY IN CASH So I had to go get cash, fine whatever. Had just enough time to get changed and do the worst makeup I have ever done but w/e so then I went to catch the bus. This is when I find out that London is a hell city specifically designed to torture me and THEY DO NOT ACCEPT CASH ON BUSES UNLIKE THE REST OF THE FUCKING WORLD. LONDON IS THE BAD PLACE.

At this point I’m just having a full on breakdown cus walking to the venue would take over an hour, it’s already past half 5, I don’t know what the fuck to do, I’m without my carer in a stressful situation and I’m already in so much pain from all the extra walking I’ve done I’m struggling to move. And I’ve been wearing fishnets and heels all day. And I forgot my pain meds.

So I call my girlfriend AGAIN, and after much hassle we find somewhere near me I can buy an oyster card. Which I apparently can’t do without assistance from staff. SO FINALLY I can go catch the bus and get there.

And then I had to walk all the way to the back of the queue on legs that already felt like they were going to give out. I was SUFFERING. That queue was LONG. But at least I got to witness people’s reactions to seeing how long the queue was when they turned the last corner >:D

I should have got there at half 5. I GOT THERE AT FUCKING 6.55, BULL. SHIT. But also bless everyone who goes straight to the cloakroom and merch table and bar so I still got about halfway to the front. (ok yes actually phones out are actually anoying that far back, i’ve never been that far back so i’ve had like max one phone near me)

THE SHOW ITSELF

Ok so, y’know, they are a good band. When they managed to play, they played very well. The show was a fucking disaster though. I have no concept of time and had no way to check the time so please correct me if you were there, but felt like, an hour almost in total that nothing was happening. Some folks were speculating before the 3rd pause that “technical issues” was code for “kyo is tired” but I think the third one proved otherwise. First two times they walked off stage everyone was mostly confused but since we were told technical issues were happening and the third stop was in the middle of the song, that one got quite a big reaction. Kyo looked... really fucking pissed when he dropped his mic and left. (Also I heard Kaoru stormed off or got pissed off or something? I couldn’t see) during the next pause people started walking out. And my god we were all SO FUCKING HYPED when the encore started cus we were convinced we weren’t gonna get one. (also pls tell me I’m not the only one who saw Die getting all tangled up when changing guitars?)

I saw on instagram they said they lost the tracks on the computer, and I’m guessing they may have lost whatever they were projecting on the back too cus that stopped. But they changed the setlist and did a full set. And they did really fucking well! Miles better than last time I sa them, with some fucking audience interation this time too! And they played Saku! And a bunch of other older ones I love but SAKU. They didn’t play Ranunculus tho :/

Die’s speach was lovely. His english has really improved since I met him, and he is so sweet! I would die for him. His wind machine for his hair is ridiculous but I would still die for him. He is so precious.

Despite the amount of pain I was in I went FUCKING HARD and could barely get out the venue I can still barely fucking move but it was absolutely worth it. (and rip in peace to the dude next to me who had a drumstick bounce off his hand shjkdshdfjhskl)

Although y’know I gotta say it, why is it ALWAYS dir en grey gigs where someone sees two people stood touching each other and they think “ah yes, I can fit between them. That is where I am going to stand”. I’ve never had this happen quite as much with any other band as with dir en grey. DO NOT DO THAT. IT IS RUDE. THIS IS MY PLACE. GO FIND YOUR FUCKING OWN. I WILL LET YOU PASS THROUGH BUT YOU WILL NOT FORCE YOURSELF BETWEEN ME AND OTHER PEOPLE. KYO DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU AND BEING HALF A METER CLOSE TO HIM WILL NOT MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU. Y’all carry that shit on you’ll end up like the one who tried to force me off the barrier during the K! tour. I got sharp elbows, and now I’ve got a cane too. I will use them.

ALSO AFTER THE GIG I MET THE LOVLIEST DOG. I GAVE A QUID TO A HOMELESS GUY AND HE ASKED ME TO SAY HELLO TO HIS DOG CUS APPARENTLY EVERYONE IN THE AREA WERE IGNORING POOR LITTLE ALFIE AND HE WAS SAD. NO ONE HAD SAID HELLO TO HIM. I am VERY dissapointed in all of you who aren’t afraid of or allergic to dogs who didn’t stop to give some love to Alfie. He is so friendly! he’s such a sweetheart! And clearly so healthy and well looked after. I cried a bit when I had to leave him. I love Alfie so much. I would die for him too. He looks so lovely in his scarf!

Anyway then going back to the hostel I got off the bus at the wrong stop, the plug by my bed was broken so I couldn’t charge my phone, and I had the lumpiest pillow I have ever encountered in my life and I am worse the the fucking princess in the princess and the pea.

And on the way back the next day the walk from tube to coach station (9 minutes) thanks to my piece of shit phone and google maps too 40 minutes. And My ankles felt fucking broken so imagine what walkig round london was like. But I got home alive wo I GUESS EVERYTHING IS FINE.

Still not sure if seeing them was worth all this bullshit given the technical issues, but I’m at “not sure” rather than “nope” so that’s something I guess?

ALSO I’m curious to hear what the VIP event was like pls dish the dirt

#dir en grey #dir en grey london #word of god

9 notes · View notes

deeeelightfuldee · 3 years

Text

How many cats and dogs have you had as pets in your lifetime? oooo boy. ok lets see. 5 dogs, 9 cats?

Can your mom and/or dad play any instruments, or how about anyone else in your family? My mom doesn’t play anything. My dad is a drummer

Have you ever colored in an adult coloring book as a stress reliever? Yes. I’ve done it this week alone, just to try and calm down a little.

Can you crack crab legs without a tool? i have no idea. I don’t eat crab or anything in the sea for that matter.

How many light sources are in the room you’re in? ooo good question. umm, eight? lol

What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? uhhh cream cheese.

Who’s your favorite director? i really don’t know, i don’t follow who directs what.

Bats: cute or gross? i mean, I don’t really care.

What was the last really intense pain you felt? lung pain during this whole nonsense.

Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? either.

How would you feel about traveling abroad alone? I would love to, but I don’t see it happening with the travel restrictions these days.

What is your father's middle name? He doesn’t have one. he’s got a family name and the men who have it do not have a middle name. Where did your last kiss take place? uhhh I believe on my driveway

Which movie villain do you find the most terrifying? no clue, tbh. none that come to mind

Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? I don’t think ive ever done that.

Which one of your family members are you closest to? My mom. one of my brothers and my sister.

Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes? brand names just don’t matter to me, but if i was forced to choose i guess shoes?

Are you a good liar? no. not at all.

Are you proud of your parents? Im super proud of my mom.

Which is better: orange or grape soda? orange

Was the last thing you ate hot or cold? hot. so yummy.

Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family? uhhhhhhh, idk who was here when I wasn’t in town, but prior to that I would imagine em/nathan

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? green

Can you remember the last song you listened to? something from the toy story soundtrack lol. I’m binge watching all four today... I am using Kile’s disney+ for as long as he has it. I don’t think he watches it ever, so I imagine it’ll cut off soon.

Have you ever been dumped really harshly? once. it was horrible. every other time I’ve done the break up.

Can you do a back flip, or anything else of that sort? heck’n no. unless im going into a pool maybe.

Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? yes

What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? he sexually assaulted me

Are you more of a phone or a computer person? my preference is laptop,

Do you have a job, and if so, where do you work? not currently.

If not, do you want one? yeah i’d like to have income.

Do any medical afflictions run in your family? yes. a few.

What’s your favorite Mexican dish? pork tacos from mama marias omggggggggggggg.

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes. bulls games, bears games

Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? of course.

What months were you and your siblings born in? january, july, august, august

What did you have for dinner last night? nicks.

Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? absolutely. to keep the shape n such.

Has your town ever flooded? uhhhhh to my knowledge once. it had rained SO heavily for like a week and the local ponds and lakes were over-flowing. a car literally floated down my road. it was so weird.

Have you ever played at the McDonald’s play place? when I was a kiddo yes. not often tho cus I didn’t like the smell, it was always sticky, and there were always bratty kids.

Have you ever taken a picture of snow? only every single day it snows

Do you cry easily? i notoriously do not cry in front of anyone. I am not a crier. when I lost Kile I cried for weeks.

Are you happy with where you live? I love it.

Do people ever mistake you for being a different race? No

Do you hate the last person you kissed? no, i’m not a hateful person

What genre is your favorite movie? drama, romance, kids lol

Who was the last person you were in a car with? Mom. she picked me up from the airport.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? yes. I always seem to get the nice workers and they help so much.

When was the last time somebody hit on you? yesterday. blegh.

Was the last person you met a male or female? hmm. Iiiiiii wanna say male.

What brand is your underwear? I think the pair im wearing is hanes.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? usually green bean casserole.

Do you have a TV in your room? yup. watching TS1 right now.

Are any of your electronics charging right now? my phone. of course it was on 2 percent.

What was the last video game you played? acnh on the switch.

What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? that they will be there for me forever and always take care of me. no.

Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google.

What was the last song you had on repeat? more by bobby darin

Who is your favorite person to watch on YouTube? froggy fresh

How many college degrees do you want? i have two. I’d like my masters and/or phd

Can you wink? yes but I dont think it looks good lol i have to get better

Do you own any jerseys? I did, I dont know if I have any still

Have you ever tried to snort Pixie Stix as a child, or even an adult? No. i wasn’t a dumb child and i certainly wouldnt do that as an adult

Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? not really no.

Has there ever been a time in your life, you felt sexually undecided? no.

Do you think tattoos and piercings are sexy on the opposite sex? im not into piercings on guys. tattoos are fine if they arent trashy

Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? all the time.

What color are the headphones you have at this moment in time? kind of a creamy taupe-y color

Ever choked severely on something during lunch at your school? no

Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? i probably consume more fruits? but i love both.

What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? white

Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? no. sadly

What do you usually buy when you go to the dollar store? i cant even tell you the last time i went to a dollar store.

Ever peed in the pool? Be honest! I would have been murdered lol no i dont do that. it grosses me out.

When you’re older, what kind of house do you want to live in? something on a lot of land, big front porch.

Where do you want to get married? probably a courthouse. maybe outdoors?

Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? no. just mom.

What is your favorite childhood TV show? recess

Honestly, do you like school? no. i looooooooooooooooooooooooove it.

Last thing that made you cry? probably dejavu.

Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now? sort of yes.

Last person you took a walk with? liza, em, dutch, della

Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back? i think currently to be honest.

Who was the last person to actually pick you up in the air? lol either mario or an old friend david

Does any part of your body hurt? yeah. my muscles have been weakening sooooooo bad it is so painful.

If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a regret what would you do? Million bucks. noooooooooooo question.

Can you keep a secret? Sure.

Your favorite romantic movie? sleepless in seattle probs.

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? I loved it for the longest timeeeeeeee. i dont think ill love it as much this next year, but maybe by then ill have met someone new who knows.

Who was the last person you took a picture with? uuuuuhhh probably one of my nephews/niece

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? Some do, some dont.

Do you celebrate 420? Nope. verrrrrry much not my thing.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? i think so lol

How do you eat Oreos? with milk.

Do you wear your shoes in the house? sometimes. my preference is slippers. we usually wear something on our feet because gram needs to and so does mom.

Would you survive in prison? probably not, tbh.

Ever been to Georgia? the state, yes. many times. the country? never.

Do you get your hair cut every month? gosh no. my dream is to get my hair done professionally again sometime, but its so daggum expensive.

Current relationship in detail. I am single. i will probably start casually dating soon.

If you were kicked out of your house, who would you call/go to? i dont even know. I always imagined I’d go to kile. but who knows now.

List things you spend money on in an average week. i can go several weeks without spending.

Rate each of your sexual partners (if any) from 1-10. ooooooohhhhhh, id rather not.

Would you parents be mad if you were in a relationship? i am convinced bill would not give a fig whether or not im in a relationship. mom, however, would probably be EEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXtra cautious now.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? oh im sure.

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? yes. even if we don’t talk anymore... theres just always a connection.

What board games are you good at? oooo, i’m very good at board games.

Is there a sport/hobby you keep thinking about taking up, but that you’ve never quite gotten around to starting? quilting. its expensive and im not wanting to get it all cvid-y

Do you think pranks like egging/toilet-papering someone's house are funny or immature? Immature.

Do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea? there are people who can pull it off, but it is notttttttttt my style.

Is there anything in particular that your parents argue about? What? debt bill put my mom in. they don’t speak tho.

Do you ever actually read the “Terms and Services” when you sign up for websites and such? the first couple years.

If you have a handheld games console (a DS or GameBoy, for example), how often do you use it? I don’t use the switch handheld, despite really wishing i could. the controllers are broken and beyond what I can afford. so I just use the tv dock.

Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, what do you say? i’d pick it up 1000000000000000% , I just would be so curious what they would say.

If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you? absolutely.

Are you afraid of falling in love? I am. I don’t ever again want to feel the way ive felt with my two heart breaks.

Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now? yes, but the feeling is lessening. I responded to him for the first time in... idk how long. thinking he’d be eager to talk and be responsive. he wasn’t. it just pushes me further and further from feeling those feelings.

Have you ever kissed someone & wished you didn’t? no, i dont think so.

Did you get kissed last night? goodness no.

Do you enjoy going through a carwash? I love it.

How did you get most of your scars? benny. by far.

Ever had to take an inkblot test? I have taken 2. One for a fellow student in a classroom who had to administer it for a project. another time in a psych class the prof asked me to for a demonstration

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? yep! the only time ive been grounded.

Have you ever seriously slapped someone in anger? no. I do not get physical in my anger. I withdraw.

What/who woke you up this morning? Just me.

Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you? My mom. dropping off ice water and benny.

What’s one of your locked text messages? I don’t even know if this phone locks messages tbh. I used to do that all the time on my t9 phones.

Have you ever finished a game of Monopoly? I think maybe 1 time.

Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? Yes.

The truth all comes out when someone is drunk, true? I wouldn’t say alllllllll, but i do think inhibitions are lowered so it makes it easier

When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself? messaging kile and realizing he isn’t interested in responding. makes me feel so dumb.

How about feeling disappointed in someone else? something a family member did to me this past week.

For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? ummm. lately it’s been jealousy. i dont like people taking what was mine. but i’m learning if they had access to it, that likely means that it is best to let it go. so maybe im now leaning towards envy of like beautiful relationships.

Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? uhhh, not unless its like in a joking, light-hearted manner.

Do you have any specific chores you do around the house? when im not sick... i vacuum, dust, do dishes, wipe counters and table, do laundry of others, disinfect, etc.

For you, does comfort or fashion come first in dressing? I would say 51% comfort and 49% looking nice

Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? yes. lots of jealousy due to their feelings toward me.

Do you like Laffy Taffy? No. not my style of candy

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? manual.

Are your biceps at all noticeable? hardly.

Have you ever seen a walrus? absolutely!

Did you ever have one of those Easy Bake ovens as a kid? no. one time moms friends daughter (who was significantly older than me) lent hers to us... but there were no mixes of anything. so I didn’t know what to do with it.

Does your bathroom have a theme to it? nope.

From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? uhhhhhhhh 3 if you dont include the garage door.

Are there a lot of trees in your yard? i wouldn’t say a lot. I wish.

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? treating me like crap cuts down my interest like immediately.

Have a best friend? meh.

Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? no.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? yes. I dont need to concern them or worry them.

Does anyone hate you? kiles ex(?) i am sure does.

What’s the one thing you regret more than anything? hm. i dont really have any.

Do you remember important dates? yes. almost always.

What’s some lyrics from a song that means a lot to you? “what if we could put the world on hold and finally meet somewhere inside of the world? I would meet you... would you meet me?”

Who gives the best advice? mom

Who do you usually see in your dreams? :) It varies. depends on who I think about.

What type of cake did you last eat? graduation cake.

How many of your friends are gay or bisexual? I have like 4 casual friends that are, but my closest friends are all straight.

What’s your favorite type of sandwich? buona chicken one. bless it.

When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline? tonight. I said maybe once this quarantine business is over.

Do you like The Offspring? I know a couple of songs but I definitely can’t call myself a fan. << same

One pillow or two? 12

Do you like Mad Libs? not really no.

Are you suicidal? no. I mean there are moments where I think wow, i dont want to be here. but not like let me put together a plan.

Where do your grandparents live? my fathers parents were killed by a drunk driver bout ten years ago. My mothers father passed away maybe 12 years ago. My gram is fine and lives in the room down the hall.

Do you cut yourself? not purposely

What is your pet’s name? benny and lottie.

Have you ever been to Canada? not yet.

Aren’t babies overrated? no, no. theyre expensive af though.

Have a built-in pool in your backyard? i wish more than anything but no.

Ever won yourself a stuffed animal? maybe once or twice. I one time had a guy win me an animal at a carnival and i found that sooooooooooooooooo attractive.

Ever had someone else win you a stuffed animal? woops. yes. lol

Ever been to a circus? i think when i was really little.

Ever shot animals? I have not. i couldn’t.

Do you consider yourself intelligent? I do. It is something I have some confidence in.

Have you ever run away from home? when my dad was abusive, yes.

Do you put family first, friends, relationships, school, or something else? faith, family, friends, school, relationships (only cus im not in one)

What’s something you’ve stood up for in the past? my faith.

What’s something you worked extremely hard to get? my degrees and honors.

Are you satisfied with your body image? no. I am honored to have a body that is capable of all that it is.. that has been my “home” all these years. the body that still breathes life every day, thats all incredible. I dislike having the fat that I do, as I worry it could be off putting to others. but then I realize im fine being single, so then my body imagine is fine. its a weird cycle.

Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? yes. when I worked and a customer didnt like a policy or whatnot.

Have you ever seriously taken advantage of someone or been taken advantage of? never to my knowledge have I taken advantage of someone else seriously. I have been VERY seriously taken advantage of.

Have you ever been seriously ill? trying to get over it now tbh

Have you ever befriended a former enemy? uhhhh, not that I know of. I tend to be friendly to everyone, but I can’t think of a situation where it was an enemy.

If you’re not religious, would you ever pray as a last resort? If you are religious, do you often pray for other people? I do pray for others quite often. it’s important to me. I sometimes will see strangers and immediately start praying over them. I actually almost started my GRE late because I was praying over every person I saw in the room lol.

Have you ever dated someone, then after you dated they came out of the closet or switched (for lack of a better word) sexual orientation? no. not to my knowledge anyway.

Has a boy/girl ever walked a ridiculous distance just to see you? How about vice versa? yes! like 8 miles lol. I have not.

When was the last time you felt really uncomfortable? this past week.

Is there anything that your mom is really known for as to how she is as a person? shes everyones favorite. shes kind, funny, sarcastic, down-to-earth, warm.

Who have you been talking to the most today? mom lol

Are you nosy? I think it could be perceived as nosy but I love to make people feel ridiculously special. So I will sit and ask questions just to get them talking about themselves. If I recognize the personal questions are not working, I’ll keep it totally light.

What’s the meanest thing you have done to a friend? i really dont know.

If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about? if we consider kile an ex, it would probably be that he feels overwhelmed and feels alone because he doesnt have me or his ex anymore. :(

Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed? ooooo thats hard to narrow down.

Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh? no. everyone comments on how they love when it turns wheezy.

1 note · View note

inkstainedfanfics · 7 years

Text

Autumn Sweaters

Summary: After a morning disaster, you decide to check in on an injured erumpent. Unfortunately, your day seems to be filled with disasters. Fortunately, Newt is there to help with them.

Word Count: 2,105

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Requests are currently open! Feel free to send one in

As a child, you’d never imagined you’d get to stroke the side of an erumpent and not fear any danger. Though you loved all creatures and decided by the age of 7 to become a magizoologist, your father had protested any interest in any even slightly dangerous creatures. You’d met your fair share of bowtruckles, demiguises, and, to your chagrin, injured owls but never an erumpent. So, when, on your trip, Newt asked you to help him examine an erumpent that seemed to be limping, you jumped at the chance.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure, Newt.” You tap your foot, already impatient with how long it will take to clean up the breakfast dishes. If only he had said something earlier. You would have cooked far less than the buffet sitting in front of the two of you.

“It’s dangerous.”

Newt laughs at your huff. “I know it’s dangerous, but this is possibly a once in a lifetime chance and I do not plan to let it get away from me.”

“Alright, alright.” He set his fork down, reaching for his napkin as he opens his mouth to say something else.

Pickett, though, startles at the sound of the fork clinking against the plate. The bowtruckle reels backwards, tripping over the napkin behind it. Its small frame smacks into your glass of water, sending the glass tumbling over. Water floods the table, rushing toward you in a wave and flying over the edge before you can even stand.

In a moment, whatever Newt was about to say is forgotten as he scoops Pickett into his pocket and rushes toward you, napkin in hand. He dabs at your shirt, apology after apology tripping out of his mouth.

“Newt, it’s fine, I’m serious. I think I’ll survive some water. Our food, unfortunately, won’t.” You grimace and nod your head toward the water puddling in the plates of biscuits, jams, and eggs you had cooked that morning.

Newt glances at them, face falling. “I can make us some more.”

You shake your head. That would take too much time. “Why don’t you just run across the street and get us a couple of pastries while I change? It’ll be faster than trying wash all of these dishes and make everything again.”

Newt nods and turns to leave, apologizing one final time. You wave your hand at his “sorry” and walk back into your rented room, dragging a heavy suitcase out from under your bed.

As you step out of the sopping clothes and slide into a dry outfit, you mentally thank Pickett. Sure, it’s a pain to have to lay your clothes out in front of the open window but at least now you don’t have to wait as long to work with the erumpent.

A cold draft gusts through the window, brushing your bare arms. Goosebumps crawl up your skin as you shiver. A quick look in your suitcase confirms what you’d expected: that soaking sweater was the last one you had packed. The others sit balled up in a sack filled with dirty clothes. With a sigh, you walk out of your room, pulling the door shut until it clicks. Unfortunately, the main room wasn’t much warmer. You’re in the middle of debating whether to brew a cup of warm tea for yourself when it hits you: Newt always wears sweaters. Surely he won’t mind if you borrow one.

The door creaks open to a pristine room. Not a thing is out of place, even his shirts and pants are folded neatly in the propped open suitcase. You suck in a breath at the cleanliness and remind yourself to never let Newt see your room.

You scan the bare walls before approaching the second suitcase lying open on the ground. Socks, books, and sweaters. One tall stack of sweaters scrunched to the side of the case. You smile as you sift through the different textures and colors. Fluffy emerald sweaters, thin grey sweaters, heavy maroon sweaters, sweaters of every color for you to pick.

One certain sweater catches your eye as you lift a fuzzy yellow one with a small badger embroidered on the collar.

You pull out the autumn orange sweater and slip it over your head. The sleeves fall past your fingers by a good inch and the flowing material droops to the top of your thighs but you love it. It’s warm and soft and, you have to admit, smells good.

You turn to leave, not wanting to disturb Newt’s privacy any more, when you notice the other suitcase. The suitcase. A nervous glance at the clock tells you that Newt left ten minutes before. That was ten minutes of pain for the poor erumpent that it didn’t deserve. You hesitate, eyes darting between the door and the case, promising fate that you will wait for Newt if you hear the door pound open within the next minute.

A minute of silence passes and you fight a smile. You don’t want to disappoint fate.

You pull open the case and climb inside, being careful to pull it closed behind you. The sounds of roaring beasts and clucking animals instantly surround you. With a grin, you continue forward. This is where you belong.

Newt had mentioned where the erumpents typically roamed earlier in the trip, warning you to watch your step. Until now, though, you never had any time to venture to the area.

The creatures barely glance at you as you walk by. You smile at them as you pass but continue forward. Much as you would love to play with occamies, you’re aching to see the dear erumpent.

The field is a ways out, and you have to step over four piles of dung before you finally see a great grey lump lying on its side. Light cries carried by the breeze reach you. Your heart shatters.

“You poor thing.” You murmur to yourself. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure out what’s wrong.”

The field is uneven, and you have to watch where you place your feet, but you make it to the erumpent. It moves its head to look up at you with pained eyes. It snorts once as you approach with your hand out.

“Hey there, buddy. I’m not going to hurt you.” You resist the urge to jump back as it jerks its head up. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

Your quiet words seem to calm it. It lowers its head but doesn’t stop watching you. “See?” Your hand shakes, but you place it on the beast’s cheek, holding its gaze.

A minute passes. You don’t breathe. The beast watches you.

Then it closes its eyes, a small whimper escaping again.

You let out a long breath through your nose. “I’m going to check your leg, okay? Newt told me it was hurting you, so I’m going to see if there’s anything wrong.” You step back. The beast leaves its eyes closed. You curse your father: if he hadn’t instilled such a fear of every dangerous creature, you probably wouldn’t be shaking right now.

But he did, and you stumble over a rock, too busy trying to steady your pulse to watch where you’re going. The beast doesn’t move as you land on the ground, doesn’t even appear to have noticed your mistake. You sigh again. This beast – a quick glance reveals he – seems to trust you. Or is in enough pain to ignore your mishaps. Either way, he doesn’t seem to want to hurt you.

“What’s your name, buddy?” You push yourself to your feet. Your hands burn from the scrapes, but you ignore them and focus on keeping the erumpent calm. “Should we call you Rick? You look like a Rick.”

You reach the erumpent’s front legs and slide up the sleeves of the long sweater. “I used to know a Rick.” You let out a light laugh as you place a hand on the rough skin. “He and I saw each other for a while. I thought he was great. Then I found out he actually just wanted to be with my best friend. What a jerk, right?”

Poking and prodding the front leg elicited no response, so you kneel in the grass and search Rick’s other front leg. “I bet you’re nicer than he was. I bet you’re a real sweetheart.”

Rick whimpers again. “There’s nothing wrong with these two.” You stand and turn around, walking toward the back legs. “It must be one of these.”

As soon as you near his back leg, your stomach turns. The stench – you hadn’t smelled anything like it before. You pull the sweater’s collar up and over your nose. “You need a bath, buddy.” Then you see the culprit. Blood and discolored pus ooze into the dirt. The infected wound is more suffocating than the piles of dung you’d passed.

“This is it, isn’t it? Is this what hurts so badly?” You reach forward and press on the area near the open cut. Rick lets out a pained roar. “This is bad.” You bite the inside of your cheek, watching more pus spill out every time you put even the slightest pressure on the foot. “This is really bad. What should we –“

You fall forward as Rick shifts and roars. Your lack of balance sends you reeling and your hand brushes over Rick’s cut. Blood soaks into Newt’s sweater, but you barely have time to notice it before you’re in the air. Your back slams against the ground, knocking the air straight out of your lung. You don’t fathom the agony, though, before your head cracks against the ground.

Consciousness slowly worms its way back through the black pressing against your eyes. Newt’s head is pressed against your chest, for what reason, you can’t fathom. All you know is the pain arching through your head and throbbing in your chest.

You groan as Newt leans away. “You’re awake?” He slips his warm hand into yours. “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

You squeeze it, gently at first but quickly add pressure until Newt yelps. He withdraws his hand, reaching under your back and supporting you as you try to sit up. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

You gag when you open your eyes. The world spins, twisting and turning, sky and ground melding. You clamp them shut again, afraid to puke on your best friend.

“I didn’t know I would startle him, I swear. If I had known, I would have stayed at the stone. Harry is usually so calm.”

“Harry?”

“The erumpent.”

You nod, clenching your jaw to hold back the biscuit you’d eaten. “His name is Rick.”

Newt pulls you tighter against himself, trying to help you balance. You curl up around his arm, grateful he’s there even if he caused the entire problem.

“If I may ask, why Rick?”

“He looks like my old friend.”

Newt suppresses a smile. “I remember him. Not a very kind fellow.”

“Not anymore.” You dare to open your eyes one more time and sigh with relief when the ground remains where it belongs. You meet Newt’s eyes, a little surprised at how close he is. You could probably count his freckles if you wanted.

Newt notices your pause and the freckles disappear under a blush. “Would you like some ice or medicine? I think I saw some in the room.”

Your cheeks redden too. “I think both would be nice. Maybe some sleep, too.” The way your head pounds … you want to sleep through as much of that pain as possible.

“Of course. Here.” He helps you to your feet, keeping one arm wrapped around your waist when you sway, your legs wobbling and betraying you. “I’m sorry. I should have been more careful. I didn’t know Harry – Rick – would startle like that.”

“I lived.” You snort. “Sure makes this morning look like no problem whatsoever.”

Newt laughs. “It does lessen that mess a slight bit.” He glances down at you and the blush returns. “Would now be a bad time to say that that sweater suits you?”

You look down at yourself. Dirt and blood mar the lovely orange. You frown. If the sweater is so ruined, how must you look? And what can get erumpent blood stains out?

“Not a bad time, no, but probably a lie.”

Newt shakes his head. “Not a lie.” He swallows, letting silence fall between the two of you before he says, “It’s yours if you want it.”

And you, stumbling alongside Newt, only standing thanks to the strong arm wrapped around your side, smile.

#Newt Scamander #newt Scamander x reader #newt Scamander x you #newt Scamander imagine #newt Scamander imagines #fbawtft #one shot #newt Scamander one shot

342 notes · View notes