#I’m so scared that it’ll go the same way my ability to read did

[nonnonblog]

Fog in Purple Mountains

Image by kjpargeter on Freepik

Hello there! How are you all this fine evening? It’s been a while. Two weeks, instead of just one. I’m sorry, I had exams. They were very rude, and stopped me from posting last Friday.

While on the topic of annoying changes, just so you all know the link to the Non-Non-Blog has recently been changed so old links to the website may no longer work for a little while. On the positive side, it’s no longer a random stream of numbers, so that is cool. I’ve been changing the appearance of the website a bit lately, specifically in the home page, so if you all have any advice on how it should look that would be lovely.

Anyways, this is a story called Fog in Purple Mountains. It is an attempt to include both prose and poetry in the same story, which turned out pretty well, I think. It was a cool experiment at the very least. Before we actually get to the story, I will say this particular post is better read on my website, just because of the formatting of the page and the paragraphs. I hope you enjoy!

Fog in Purple Mountains

The mountains were purple and blue. They expanded out to the horizon, though that wasn’t particularly far here at Cayen. The clouds hung very low here, for reasons no research or experiment had been able to fully explain. Something about the high amount of rivers that filled the nooks in the mountains and turned the valleys into marshlands, alongside the high winds in the upper atmosphere trapping the fog down below.

“Alright, here’s the plan,” Fyna started, looking over the edge of the cliff and into the valley below. It was an excellent view, there was above average visibility today. “I’m going to fly down to the wreckage, and grab the battery. If it’s still there.”

“...Yes,” Waerren agreed. The word was well enunciated, came out slowly. It had a way of feeling uncertain in how it wavered in the air, though what Fyna had outlined was both oversimplified and obvious.

Waerren shrugged, before punching Fyna in the shoulder. “Look! It’ll be easy, you know all of the steps. You’ve finished everything else, and this is the last part you need! Just go in, be careful of the Cyafirse, and worse case we have to check another wreckage. There are a lot of those here.”

Fyna shrugged. It wasn’t Waerren’s shrug. His had been loose, excited. Fyna’s was half-finished and defeated.

“Look, sis, I know I’m only a year past my own Colyen, so I’m not necessarily the best source on all this stuff, but you got this. It’s only scary the first time.”

Fyna’s eyebrows twisted: “You only have one Colyen.”

Her brother just winked, “as I said, it's only scary the first time.”

Fyna sighed. “Thank you. I guess I’ll go now.”

Waerren nodded, and backed away from the cliff. His hands were restrained in his pockets. If Fyna did end up failing he wouldn’t be able to jump after her fast enough to catch her. But honestly, there was something comforting in that. Waerren was confident enough in her abilities that he wasn’t scared, so why should she be?

She looked back down the cliff again. For once, she would be jumping with a solid view of the ground. The visibility would be worse down there.

Deep breath,

jump!

the wind parted, 

pressing itself to her face.

Then it changed directions as she extended her arms, the wingsuit catching on the air and halting her decent as though she were caught by puppeteer’s strings

The ground was a bright blue, almost cyan

it could be easily confused

With the sky.

the purple mountains,

they grew as she reached the ground.

Fyna was smiling, which was expected, probably. Flying felt… Well, it was just pure adrenaline, with nothing in the way. Her mind was clear, as was her vision. If anyone saw her, they would probably think she had lost her mind. I mean, adrenaline made your pupils get bigger, and that was compounded with the already eye-enlarging effect of her flight goggles. Then add the now absolute mess of her wind-shredded hair, and that previously referenced smile.

Wreckage time.

Wreckages were always a sight. Grey, twisted metal, engines and wires exposed to the air. The copper strands were still sparking, which was a good sign for Fyna, if not the violet grass which was now beginning to mix with orange and red. Wreckages didn’t normally cause forest fires, not with all the rain Cayen got, but you never knew. One in a hundred was still a lot when the population was a thousand.

Fayn didn’t see a door, but she did see a window. Grabbing her window-breaker, a hammer with a pointed edge, she made quick work of getting inside the structure. The window was already shattered, it was just a matter of cleaning up the surviving thorns of transparent glass. The ship wasn’t super large, which made it easy to get to the cockpit. And it had planted itself right on its face, so the controls of the thing had already been torn apart. In other words, Fayn had her battery. The last piece of her satellite. She just had to go back up the cliff, then she was ready for her Colyen.

Oh, god.

She had done it.

She was ready.

       …was she ready?

It had been so easy.

Of course it had, she’d already done this 

twenty times over.

Fayn took a deep breath. She had to get back to Waerren. The fires were creating smoke, not a lot, but enough to attract the Cyafirse. The colorless creatures would crack her spine and drink its fluid and walk into town in her corpse.

deep breath.

Fayn slid to the ground. Carefully. It was really just sitting down.

It was going to be alright! She had an okay vision of what she wanted to do moving forwards, and now she would actually get to experience life and be independent and all of that. But she could be wrong. This would be a really bad time to be wrong.

It was really easy to mess up, 

and while people said you could pivot, Fayn didn’t really believe them.

She was curled up in a ball,

She really had to go.

She really had to go. Cyafirse were colorless. They could be right in front of her, written in font too small to see. She could panic later.

Fayn was barely aware of her surroundings as she left the hull, and made her way to the outdoors. Outside of the shield of the ship. Everything was blurry. She blamed the fog. The visibility was really bad.

Rocket on. Wingsuit open. Land.

“Everything alright?” Waerren asked.

“Yeah. I got the battery.”

Waerren whooped, and threw his hands into the air. “Nice! Congratulations!”

Then, his voice grew smaller. “It’ll be good, Fayn. No one ever knows what will come of their Colyen. That’s a part of why it exists, I think.”

That didn’t make sense, but Waerren hadn’t really expected to.

The End

If you are interested in reading any more of my other pieces, please consider checking out my website, the Non-Non-Blog, through the link below!

[mywritingonlyfans]

Angst fic with Damiano David

prompt: a angsty about reader being sad (dami bff) 'cause damiano doesn't feel the same way romantically. ps. there's a lot of victoria de angelis being a angel in this fic, and it's basically about reader going through it.

warnings: none? it's just a bit sad and longer than usual.

 All the soft touches still tingled all over your body. His scent was until now stuck to you, you never thought you’d feel happy to have woody essence along with cigarette smoke on you. 

 Folding the sleeve of his sweater, you put your tea in one of the cups you always use when you were there. His cotton piece was comfortable, making you didn't regret wearing it in the morning; it was cold and wearing your tank top from the night before didn't feel right. The shorts from yesterday, that were making your legs freeze were enough trouble for you to handle. The remnants of your clothes and belongings were collected from the floor of his room and placed carefully on his headboard, you made sure you were being quiet. Damiano has always been a heavy sleeper, but your counscious prevented you from risking disturbing him when he looks so peaceful. You had already spent much time at his place so you memorized where every thing in his kitchen - and others rooms - was; baking eggs and making tea wasn’t a mystery for you. You had even separated a Tylenol tablet for Damiano, so he could have it with his tea when he woke up with a wicked hangover. He wasn't the type to get drunk and forget what he did, nor were you. Since when you were teenagers, you have gone out and been drunk together a lot of times, and although your feelings were already present, nothing never happened. This time, however, alcohol helped injecting a dose of courage on him. Being honest with yourself, you didn't remember who started it; but the kiss in the midst of the loud music, his hand on the back of your neck, the exchanging glances while dancing and the moment he took you home, they were pretty vividly in your mind. You still felt relaxed, as if his sweaty body was still over yours. Minutes with your eyes closed was enough to feel his eyes roaming your body all over again.

“Hi,” he said in a slurred voice, cutting off your line of thoughts. You jumped, briefly scared but soon turned your attention to reality; a tired Damiano scratching his eyes in front of you.

He was dressed, wearing sweatpants and sweatshirt, duly comfortable according to the weather. 

 “Headache?” You knew he was. He was always a good drinker, he put up with it a lot, but he was never one to get rid of the effects of alcohol on the next day. You, on the other hand, got on better with this issue; fortunately from the night before, only the good moments remained with you.

“Yeah, a bit,” he giggled. “What a night, I’d say.” He added, in a lower tone. What was acceptable, you also felt a bit weird to be in front of him.

“I got you some pills,” you pointed it out to him on the counter, trying to maintain a normal behavior; with no shacking voice or sweaty hands. Quite impossible. “I made tea too.”

“Dear God, you’re a life saver!” He smiled at you, eyes crinkled and all of his perfect teeth on display. Contagious.

You grinned, feeling your body getting lighter. “No worries. I’m glad to help.”

“Y’know, when I woke up and saw that you weren't there I thought you were gone. You know? Friendship destroyed and that whole thing. I’m happy to see you; relieved.” He took a sip of his tea, and maybe a bit of your heart with it. You were an explosion of feeling when it comes to him, you always have been. “That sweater looks good on you, you can keep it if you want. You know that’s my fave one.” And, yeah, you knew.

The tension on you was no longer intense, comforting you to let out the breath you were holding. “It’s good to hear that,” Your genuine smile managed to say many things, you wished Damiano had noticed you earlier on other occasions. “Do you remember that one time, when we were younger, that you were a bit crazy about a girl; Alice was his name.” You stopped; in need of air - nervous - and watched Dami's attentive face. “She was the first person to whom you dedicated a song, you played it to her at school break. The cutest thing I had ever seen. I think it was there that I realized, a little jealous—“

“Y/N,” his voice had been almost inaudible, causing no effect. Had he really tried?

“How in love I was with you.”

His face was paler than usual, he was paralyzed; speechless. You had never seen Damiano like this, the men was always all over the place in a sweet talkative mess.

It took a few minutes for you to be able to read his expressions and realize how fucked up you were. The dose of happiness in your blood had been able to manipulate you to believe in what you most wanted to happen.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” your blood had gone up to your ears, all you could pay attention to was the pressure in your head. How had you thought that after one specific night he would suddenly decide that he was in love with you? After all of this time that you were just a good friend for him? “I’m truly sorry but I’m don’t—“

“Feel the same way?” You finished. He nodded, apprehensively. You have never felt so stupid. It was a mixture of shame, fear and insecurity. You were unable to look directly at him, you knew that there was no change in following a friendship after what you just said, much less after the night before. You had never been so screwed.

“I’m the one who should be apologizing, I shouldn’t have said a thing.” You whispered, realizing that the lump in your throat had turned into tears that you didn't even know were running down your face.

“Come here,” he opened his arms, walking towards your emotionless frame. You allowed yourself to melt in his grip. 

 Your tears fell freely; you could even try to hold it back but there was no strength left for you to think about it. Your crying was silent, as was the kitchen room. Your head was full of questions and cursing at yourself. Suddenly you wished Damiano had yelled at you, asked you to get out of there or said he wouldn't never speak to you again. It seemed easier to deal with it in this alternative way than to have him comforting you for loving him. “Shh, it’ll alright. I could never be mad at you.”

He talked about your friendship, but you knew that nothing would end up well. Maybe for him. But for you? It’d not be that easy. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I should have known better, you were so loving with me last night that I thought— Fuck, we slept together. Which I know isn’t your fault because I don’t even remember who—“

“Stop, Y/N. Look at me,” He was being careful. You were making a person like Damiano calculate his words, that made you feel like pure shit. You stopped talking, looking at him was still difficult. He understood that you wouldn’t be doing so. “That’s fine. I don’t feel bad about you liking me in that way, you’re wonderful. I don't regret anything, last night was great, but I just... don't feel the same. I’d never do anything to hurt you. I can't even imagine how hard it’s being for you right now.” His words sounded sweet and sincere. He had tears in his eyes as well. His ability to be so empathetic to everyone was something you loved the most about him. He was probably killing himself on the inside for breaking you.

You nodded, leaning on the counter. You wanted to ask him if he remembered that he was your first kiss at the age of seven or all the times he sent you vinyl records with some message - that he had written himself - inside the cover. How did he not feel the same, shouldn't you be everything he wanted?

“Dami?” You sighed. Your eyes were red, your face probably swollen. You then looked straight at him; that surprisingly wasn’t much better than you. “Have you ever looked at me and seen me in another way? Something more than just your best friend?”

He didn’t say a thing, just look at you standing there. You get it.

“I think I should go,” You broke the silence that had been formed. You thought about taking his sweater off, but since you weren't wearing anything underneath, you thought it was better not; you’d have to go to his room to change, and then pick up your things only to delay your leaving.

“I can drive you home,” he said in a hush, looking for his car keys.

“It’s okay, a walk will be fine.”

“It’s fucking freezing outside, I can't let you walk over there like that.”

You ignored what he said, walking around the house to the front exit. He tried to grab your arm just for you to step back.

“I know you're just trying to help, but I need to be alone right now, without you near me.” You tried to say it in the most normal way possible, you didn't want to be mean, you only wanted to be fair to yourself.

“Sure.” It was the last thing you heard him say before you left, feeling the cold wind on your body. You didn't know if he had entered his house again or if he was watching you hug yourself as walking slowly to somewhere. You wouldn't dare to look back.

--------------------------------------------------------

“C’mon girl, get up here,” Upon hearing the husky, strong voice, you were relieved. 

 Victoria wasn’t wearing her usual jewelry and looked like she had just been woken up by force. You weren’t as close to her as you were with the other boys, however, you had never been so happy to see her.

You got in her car. “Thank you,”

“God, you look terrible. You’re fine?” You looked at your reflection in the rearview mirror and well, fine was definitely something you didn't look like.

“Dami asked you to come and get me?” Your throat was scratching, it was difficult to speak.

“Yeah,” she looked at you quickly, but due to your discomfort she backed off. More tears would come. “He didn't say why though, he just said he needed someone to come to you before you froze to death.” She said it in a way that made you laugh, even with your eyes filled with tears. “Did the two of you have a disagreement? You don't have to answer me if you don't want to.”

“Something similar.” You said shakily; due to your crying and chilly. Inside the car was heated, but your body was so cold that it didn't seem to be enough. You tried to snuggle in the passenger seat, letting your head rest against the window like in a sad film. Maybe that’d help.

“Here,” she handed you a coat, without hesitation you took it. “I brought it to you in case you needed it.”

You nodded slowly. “Thank you, Victoria,”

“You can call me Vic, just like everyone else,” she laughed.

You gave her a half smile. “Okay then, thank you very much, Vic,”

The rest of the day would be crying while you curled up in your bed, you’d let yourself feel at your worst; promising that you would try and change that the next day.

———----------------------------------------------

You expected the first few days to be the hardest, but it seemed to get worse with each passing day. Damiano had tried to call you a few times and in all of them you responded dryly, using short words, pretending it’d be okay. You truly tried, but you needed time to process what happened. You told him that, and then time he gave you.

After completing a month of the incident, you noticed how 'dependent' you had become on him. He was always around since you were kids, any problem you had you would look for him to talk to, now you felt like you had nothing. Your friends were friends of his, too, more of his friends than yours. You missed having Thomas failing on teaching you how to play guitar on your couch and besides you thought about calling him - just to distract yourself - you remembered that he was more a friend of Damiano than yours. It’d be weird. None of them contacted you at that time, not even Thomas. You couldn't figure it out if Dami had told them what happened and they decided to give you space or if they just didn't care about you when you wasn’t around Damiano.

Basically, where Dami was you would be and vice versa. It had always been like that.

When you saw that just time wasn’t solving anything, you programmed yourself to live in a way that you were busy all the time. Your routine became work, home and most of the time taking the work to be done also in your home. You didn't feel energized to make new friends, and going out on dates could help momentarily but it wouldn't be fair to go out with someone in the ‘mood’ you were in; then these ideas were soon discarded. Sleeping was impossible, you spent hours rolling over in bed; both for the flashbacks that plagued your mind, but also for the fact that you missed him. The nights were worse when you visit your mother or when she called and said, "Dami never came to see me again." or something like. “Are you still talking to each other? We don't let someone like Damiano leave our lives.”

Deep down, you knew there was no way you could be in love with him forever and that no matter how much it hurt at that moment it would pass. You started to repeat it to yourself as much as you could, so when the boys got in touch with you again you didn't hesitate to answer. Nothing bad would happen, you just need to pretend to be fine. The first to send you a message was Thomas, with simple questions, he acted like nothing had happened, you liked it. Even though it was obvious that Thomas, as one of his boys, would know this in more detail than you did (which was a lie, but at least he knew how Damiano was feeling about it, which you wouldn't know). He updated you about Dami, who was great as always, and you said you were doing well when he asked. You answering him made Ethan talk to you too, although they were all polite and delicate, they seemed more to be sorry than to miss you. Pity wasn’t something you were expecting.

After five months, you still felt like crap. You had tried to stop counting the days that had passed since you last saw Damiano, but it was almost impossible. You could still remember that night vividly, but you were still trying your best to move on; leave it behind. Mysteriously, you wanted to see him, see how he was doing and find out if he had anything else to say but you were afraid to see him, go back to your place as his best friend just to realize that your feelings for him had not abated at all.

“...I haven't seen you in a while. I wonder if you're alright,” you heard when answering your phone. Your head hurt, your eyes stung. You had slept on spreadsheets that you brought home from your work.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Shit,” she murmured.

You looked at the phone screen. “Sorry Vic, I just woke up I'm still trying to copy.” You laughed to calm her down.

“I thought I didn't have my number,” her voice became softer, as if she was relieved that you had saved it. “I didn't want to wake you up, I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to know how you‘re doing, since I used to see you almost every day, y’know?”

You thought about saying that you saved her number the day Dami called to pick him up at a bar since his phone battery was dead and he was in no condition to drive, but Victoria clearly knew that. “Is Dami with you?”

“No,” her tone matched yours; Dami had told her, now she was being careful with her words. “I saved your number the day Dami needed to call you, in case I needed to call you again.”

“That’s alright, thanks for checking on me then.”

“But he would love to talk to you. He always asks the boys about you or comments on you so that someone can bring you up to the convo. He seems a bit lost when you not ‘round to be honest.”

Somehow hearing that made you happy. Still, the image of discomfort whenever you thought of talking to him scared you. The phone line was filled with silence, until Victoria's husky voice filled the line.

“Anyway, I didn't call you to talk about Damiano. We finally finished the album and decided to have a small celebration at my house,” you giggle at the formality. “We thought you should go, since you were present in more than half of the process. I‘d like you to come. We’d all like you to come.”

———

Your heart accelerated with each step you took as you entered Victoria's house. The rooms had a glow of being calm and the music that was playing helped to make the place cozy. The instrumental of the band reminded you of Fleetwood Mac, and for the little that you knew Vic you would say that the type of sound reminded you of her. 

 Her house wasn’t crowded, there were only a few people around; some you’ve seen before, some you haven’t. You thundered your fingers over some vinyl that were arranged in a corner, pretending to read them. You were looking for familiar faces, honestly even for Damiano, but for some unknown reason you didn't want to make that obvious. Your eyes captured Thomas talking to some girls, and soon you felt relieved to be dressed according to the occasion; or at least according to the girls who were close to Thomas. It didn't take long until he noticed you standing there, you waved and he came to you. He looked surprised, still he didn't wait for you to say anything else, just wrapped you in his arms so tight you had to ask him to let go in between muffled laughter.

“Vic working miracles! Come, I'll take you to the others.” He said in his cute form, holding your hand as guiding you through the house. “So, how's our best girl?”

Your lips parted in a smile. “I’m alright, pretty much the same to be honest,” there was no time for him to ask another question because you soon spotted Ethan and Victoria with their beers in hands. They seemed to be shocked to see you as well; and it was starting to irritate you for reasons you couldn't explain. Thomas put you behind him, hiding you from the two of them as if they hadn't seen you already. He was being such a sweetheart that he had even managed to soften the anxious butterflies in your stomach; but not enough to keep your mind free of worries and Damiano David. Thomas made a funny noise with his hands as Ethan ignored his attempt to be amusing, pulling you into a hug. Who would have thought you would have missed them so much.

“How long without seeing you, I force you not to do that again. Without you we are just another disorganized mess.” You laughed at his nonsense. Your smile was sincere, like it hadn't been for months, still you were forcing yourself a bit more to appear to be actually 'fine'. You’d like to know if they noticed, even though you were appreciating that they didn’t.

“No worries, I‘m not planning on leaving you guys alone.”

 Ethan and Thomas started to discuss about something, Ethan was already under the effect of alcohol, and from time to time they asked for your opinion on how Victoria had been strangely quiet. Atypical of her, but she didn't seem to be out of place or uncomfortable, just quiet.

“Did a cat eat the tongue of my newest attractive friend?”

“Not this time,” she showed you her tongue, and then smirked. Her eyes shone in differently way under your gaze and her make up was making her look more mature. “Are you feelin’ good? Thank you for coming.” Victoria was happy to see you, you could feel that. She might be curious, but pity wasn’t something possible to see in her; different from the other boys. “You must be tired of hearing that question, I'm sorry. It‘ll no longer be asked.”

Her voice was soft, comfortable to hear. “I appreciate that. I really have heard a lot of that, but despite everything, I feel good ‘bout bein’ here.”

“I feel even happier that you came then,” she put her hand gently on your waist. The other two didn't even remember you and Vic were there. “Let's get you something to drink, we bought that red drink Damiano always says you love.”

“No way, it’s bishop cocktail?” You looked at her, a big grin on your face, even though you remembered that this was the drink you were drinking when the universe decided it would be a good idea for you and Dami to have a one-night stand. Just a lovely reminder. “Have you mixed everything up? like the rum with the red wine? or with red drink you just want to say you bought wine?” You asked, ignoring your internal conflicts. Everything would be fine, you ket repeating to yourself.

“In fact, I remember once hearing you comment you didn't mind it being mixed up in a random bottle.”

She pulled a glass bottle out of a bucket full of ice and you couldn't believe she remembered that; given that you could count on your fingers the times that you had actually spoken to her. You didn’t avoid each other, just didn’t have much of the opportunities.

“Oh my god, that’s so fuckin’ lovely.” You whispered. She was quick to pick up a glass and hand it to you, filling it with the so well remembered liquid. You took a sip, and the taste - or alcohol - made your butterflies calmer. “Thanks for that, tastes like heaven.” She took a glass for herself, by her expression she thought it was a waste of rum. “C’mon, it’s not that bad.”

“If you think so, who am I to deny.”

“Don’t be a bummer,” you bumped your shoulder with hers, eliciting a cute sound from her that made you laugh as well.

You wish that sensation had lasted longer, even so when a random girl approached you to ask something, you felt heavy; like a sign. Her hair was golden in perfect waves and her face was angelic in an almost divine way. You might have been overreacting, but she was the type to catch all the attention to herself.

“You’re Y/N, right? I was startin’ to think that I’d never get to know you.” She hugged you tight and you wondered if she really didn't know you. When she released you, you felt your heart breaking right there in front of her. She was wearing Dami's sweater; the same one from that night, the same one that you wore. You wanted to be wrong, but you’d know that sweater from a distance even after years. “He talks so much about you. Can you believe we never met?” She asked, alternating her gaze between you and Victoria. She had been silent, you had forgotten that she was still there. Your head was miles away in thoughts, making you dizzy.

“Hi, Bella,” Victoria said. You remembered that name. Damiano talked about her on a few occasions, anyways he didn't seem to be in love - or you just didn’t want to see that. Maybe you haven’t been able to read him due to your stupid passion. “How’s everything?”

She started talking to Victoria and you couldn't concentrate on listening; all the alcohol in the world would not ease what you were feeling. How long have they been together? What was so special about her that Damiano gives her his favorite sweater? Were they together when you slept together? How did she end up with the same sweater you slept in that day?

She held the cup that was in your hands and handed it to Victoria. “Are you okay, hon’? You look a lil’ unwell. Do you want me to get you some water?”

“No need, I’m alright,” she patted your arm, and then checked your temperature. She was being nice, yet you couldn't pretend to be interested in being there anymore.

Thankfully, Victoria put an arm around your shoulders, asking if you want to join her to have a smoke. “It’ll be good, fresh air will do good to you.”

You agreed. Bella was worried and you felt bad about having to run away from her. She looked like an incredible person, sure Damiano was lucky to have her, that was just too much for you.

“Do this, you will feel better. We can talk later and so you can tell me everything about you and Dami, I’d love to hear you, since you’ve known each other for so long.” You looked for some irony in her voice, but you didn't found it. She was interested in you; after all, you were her boyfriend's best friend. It made sense.

Victoria guided you to the balcony, or at least halfway to it. Midway, someone stopped to talk to her, she tried to dismiss the person, however, as it was a thing related to the album, she would have no way out. “Victoria, it’s fine, I need some time alone.” You whispered to her, patting on her arm. She looked at you reluctantly, but understand. There wouldn't be much she could do for you.

Entering the balcony you felt an absurd urge to cry, your eyes itched and your legs were trembling. Was being in love meant to hurt this much, or was it just a game of chance?

You tried to take a deep breath, ease your heartbeats, telling yourself it was okay. You just needed to calm down. You leaned your body against the wall and watched the place. The plants near the fence - which you didn't know how Victoria had time to take care of them - the streets, and then the sky. Starry and moist, made for good memories that wouldn't come to you. When you felt ready enough to go out and face the party again, you ran into the one you were trying to avoid, Dami. Minutes ago you were anxious with the possibility to see him to know how he was, now you just wanted to run away and wipe these last months out of your mind.

“Y/N,” his body collided with yours while his arms wrapped around you, it was supposed to be a good thing, that you‘d feel safe as the same way you used to feel, except that was uncomfortable now. You couldn't even respond to his hug, for a second you thought you would escape without having to see him. He noticed and gave you space. “I swore that you wouldn't come. My god, it's so good to see you.” He ran his hands through his hair and you remained paralyzed in front of him.

You tried to focus on your breathing so that your voice came out without too many complications. “Yeah... It's good to see you, you look great.” It didn't work, your voice was shaky making your lie sound even worse. He looks great, you didn't lie, he seemed even happier and well rested. You wondered if it was because the album was ready or because now he had Bella.

You forced a smile, but unlike the others, Damiano knew you were acting. He didn’t judge or question, his face became tense, apprehensive. He knew that nothing was right.

“I thought about callin’ you more, goin’ to see you or something. The boys convinced me that it‘d be better not, that it could be even hard for you. I wonder if I shouldn't have done something different to help you because I know I fucked up too.” His hands were undecided between running through his hair and staying inside his pockets. He was nervous, at the same relieved to have spoken to you.

“It wasn't your fault, I’d never blame you for that,” you sighed, smiling slightly. It felt terrible to make him feel that way about it, but there wasn't much you could do. “I'm glad you gave me space when I asked, it's still hard to see you or think about talkin’ to you. It is as if everything that is tormenting me comes all at once.” It was good to say that to him. He nodded and you looked at each other for a while. It wasn't as uncomfortable as you thought it would be.

He was a few feet away from you while you were admiring the night, with your back against the wall. You wanted to leave, maybe go cry in your bed until you fell asleep, still you wanted things to work out with Dami, you wanted that tension and fear of seeing him to get out of your head. Despite that, if it was necessary to suffer in that process, it would not be worth it.

“She’s amazing,” it hurt to say that, but it was the truth. “Bella’s amazing, lucky girl.” You smiled sadly. Saying her name and seeing Dami smiling at that made you thank God for not seeing the two of them together, hugging or kissing. He‘d probably put his hand on her waist while she was talking to one of his friends or giving lightly kisses to her temple, just because he felt like it. Damiano was the cute type, you've seen it before.

“She is, an amazing person. She was all happy to have spoken to you. I told her all about our teenage years and how you always supported the band,” He had told her about you, would he have told her about you being in love with him? You thought to ask, soon giving up. It’d be shameful if so. “If I knew you would be here I’d not have come with her.” It made you think that he had told her.

“What would you do? Would you hide me from her for the rest of your life?” You sighed. it was supposed to sound like a joke, regrettably your voice sounded too cruel for that.

“It’s not like that,” he mumbled. “I was just tryin’ to think of you and—“

“I think I need to go Dami, it’s being too much. I’m sorry.” You needed to get out of there, you couldn't stop the tears anymore and you knew it was a bad idea to talk about her with him.

You took a few steps back just for Damiano to grab at your arm, without putting strength, just like a few months ago, to stop you in front of him. You turned your face away from looking at his eyes, feeling as the tears run down your cheek. You'd never be able to face him, this situation was only proving that to you even more.

“Please, Y/N. Just tell me what I need to do. I will do anything for you to talk to me again. I need you, you know that. The past few weeks have been a mess without you around. Even little my mom misses you. I’d do anything to have you back like before.” He was about to cry, his eyes shone with tears and it was painful to watch. He could do anything for you to stay; except what would make you stay. Unfortunately, it didn't depend only on his good will.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this,” you said in a lack of air, signaling the space around you with your finger. “But this, this is too much. It kills me to have to be close to you or to be close to things or people that remind me of you, seeing someone else with you doesn't help at all. I still think about the fact that we slept together... I can’t just forget it ‘cause it meant so much to me and to you, to you? it was nothing.” You were out of breath, you just wanted to cry in peace, put everything out until there was nothing left. 

 He released his hands of you, his face red and damp. It wasn't going to be easy for either of you. Time wouldn't matter; it wouldn’t change a thing because whenever you looked at him you’d wonder about how things could have been like if he had chosen you.

He whispered one more time that he was sorry, then let you go. He could have stopped you, but it's not like he knew what to do anymore. 

He watched as you walk out without even looking back.

——-

You went through the party walking fast, avoiding acquaintances and questions about why you were like that. Your body was heavy as well as your conscience. Outside the house the street was empty, the streetlights illuminated the sidewalk and along with the silence of the street you felt invited to sit there. You brought your knees close to your body, trying to breathe calmly. Pulling the air in, and then releasing it in a normal way. Your heart was beating so fast that your whole body was agitated. You tried to stay still. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling a little dizzy when you saw someone walk out the front door of the house. You dropped your knees, trying to look decent, but gave up as soon as the person came closer to you and you saw that it was Victoria. She sat next to you, pulling you into a hug. You were happy that she went to you.

“I’m fine,” you murmured, hugging her waist and hiding your face in the fabric of her shirt.

“Stop saying that you’re fine when you’re far from being fine, I won’t judge you sweetheart,” she comforted you, giving you a extra squeezing. You were far from being alright, but it helped, having someone there helped.

She placed her chin on top of your head, soothing you until your crying softened. She rubbed your back and whispered that it’d be okay.

“Did Damiano send you here?”

“No, darlin’. He said that you had talked, and then you had to leave, he didn't look well, I thought you wouldn't be either.”

“And then you decided to look out for me?” You laughed, still tucked in her warm arms.

“Yep, sounds like you need me, don’t you think?” She laughed too, causing the vibration of her chest next to yours make you feel taken in.

“Why’s love so painful?”

Victoria didn't answer, she was thoughtful for a few minutes, and then she stood up, holding out her hand for you.

“What?”

“I won’t be taking no as an answer, you’ll get in the car with me and we will do something, anything, drink milk shakes, fill up our bellies with pizza ‘til we can't take it anymore, or even rob a bank.” She held you by the waist, lifting you up for her. “Please,”

You didn't see why not to accept. There was nothing worse that could get even worse at the moment, maybe going somewhere would do you good. “Even rob a bank?” She nodded, pointing to where her car was.

A smile spreading across her lovely face as you realized you’d go anywhere she wanted with her. “Yes, even robbing a bank.”

[staticscreenwriting]

HOME // Bucky Barnes

Request: Could you do a Bucky Barnes imagine where he blips but the reader is pregnant so when he comes back he meets their daughter? If not that’s totally understandable and I hope you have an amazing day/night 💕

A/N: Look, I love writing angsty Bucky. But I also love writing happy Bucky. Hope y’all love reading this ♥  Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated.

Join my taglist here! [additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

Thanos being defeated was not the end of it all. It seemed like it. The grand heroic solution to all problems. The ultimate test before things got better. Before they got easier.

That was a lie.

Bucky looks across the vast area of the Stark’s estate as people, all dressed in black, mourn the loss of a dear friend, an idol, a husband, a father.

That word sends a wave of anxiety and fear through him. He knows he can’t run forever and really, he doesn’t want to. He just doesn’t know how to deal with — everything. How to be the man he needs to be. How to step up and not fuck this up.

Sometimes fear makes you do stupid things, really stupid things. Like avoiding the love of your life because you are too afraid of what she might think of you.

His eyes find (Y/N) as she leans against a tree, lips pulled into a sad smile as Sam rambles about one thing or another next to her. This isn’t right. Sam shouldn’t be the one cheering her up and trying to get her to smile. It should be him. If only he wasn’t such a coward.

People don’t talk about these things though. They only talk about those that had been gone now being back again. They talk about the joy of being reunited but not the fears, the sadness, the disappointment — and they sure as hell don’t talk about the guilt.

The guilt of coming back after 5 years to find out you missed so many important moments in the life of a child you never knew you had.

His eyes wander down towards the little girl holding on tightly to her mother’s hand. She has his eyes, his dark hair, his lips. She’s a spitting image of his younger sister. A Barnes through and trough.

Every time he looks at her his heart beats out of his chest in a way he’s never felt before. When they say that the love for your own child is an instant emotion, they are not wrong or exaggerating.

The moment he came back from oblivion and first laid eyes on her, it felt like his heart had known her all his life. He wanted to hold her and shelter her from all the bad things the world might throw her way. Wanted to kiss her little nose and read her stories and sing her silly little songs. He hated singing but for her, he wanted to do it. Just because that’s what dads do.

But fear is one hell of an emotion and above all, it’s terribly convincing.

He’d never had a particularly good example of a father. It was different times then. Different ways of raising your child. Fathers weren’t meant to show affection, they were meant to enforce rules and order. How could he ever be good at this? He doesn’t have a single clue how to do any of this.

And then there’s the fact that he’s left (Y/N) alone to deal with all of this. Every first has been forever taken from him. First breath, first cry, first word, first steps. Every little thing.

Would she resent him for it? For not being there when it mattered?

So he ran. He came back and he ran.

She doesn’t deserve this and neither does (Y/N). They deserve so much better.

“ It’s time Buck. “ Steve speaks up as he leans against the porch railing next to his oldest friend.

“ Are you still sure about this? “ Bucky asks, not taking his eyes off of his girls. His stomach feels like he’s swallowed a bag of bricks. Life was supposed to be easier after Thanos. This isn’t easy. This is just scary. And sad.

“ That, “ Steve says and nods his head towards (Y/N) and the girl “ that’s your second chance. I gotta take mine. “

Bucky turns to look at his friend trying to figure out what to say next but coming up empty. What do you say to that? Steve deserves to be happy. He deserves to be where his heart always has been. Does it mean Bucky thinks it’s the right choice? Not necessarily. But he understands. Had it been him and (Y/N) he would’ve crossed time and space to be with her.

Which is ironic to think because now all he does is avoid her. Because that’s the coward he is.

“ Alright let’s go. I’ll grab Bruce you do — whatever you gotta do. “

He dares to send one last look towards (Y/N) and this time she’s looking back with a soft eye and a timid little smile on her lips. None of which he is deserving of.

Steve let's go of Sam, parting with one last friendly slap on the back before turning towards Bucky.

Bucky's throat feels dry and rough and while his head is swirling with words he wants to say, none of them really make it past his lips. He's known about Steve's idea for a few days now, has had time to let it settle and come to terms with it. It still breaks his heart but sometimes that's what you do for the people you love. You support them on their path to happiness even if it hurts you in the process.

"I'll miss you," Bucky finally manages to say and he wraps his arm around his friend's shoulder. "You'll always be my brother."

"I know. I'll miss you too. But I know you're in good hands." Steve responds and lets his gaze wander towards the house, no doubt talking about (Y/N) and the kid.

"Promise me something, Buck." He says as he pulls away.

"Anything."

"Talk to (Y/N) and get to know your daughter. She's a Barnes through and through. And she loves you so much, they both do. Let them. Love 'em back."

"Kid doesn't even know me," Bucky murmurs, nervously glancing at the floor.

"What? You really think that? Buck, all we did for the last 5 years was try to keep your memory alive. For us but especially for her. We showed her pictures and videos and (Y/N) told her so many stories. She knows you and she loves you and for the first time in her life, she's living in a world where her dad is alive and present. Go, be with them. You guys need each other."

He's right. Of course, he's right. Steve has this fantastic ability to be right when it matters.

“And don’t do anything stupid until I get back!” Steve adds, making a small smile appear on Bucky’s face.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you. “

They embrace each other one last time before Bucky whispers another “I’ll miss you” and Steve tells him that “It’ll be okay, Buck”.

And then everything happens so fast. One moment he’s living in a world where his best friend is by his side and a minute later all of that has forever changed.

Bucky wipes his eyes with the back of his hand one last time before looking at himself in the mirror. He knew this moment was coming, Steve told him. He had time to come to terms with it and yet it’s a completely different situation now that it’s done. Parting with the only family you’ve ever known breaks your heart in ways you’ve never known are possible.

As he steps out of the bathroom something solid crashes against him and as he looks down, a pair of identical blue eyes stare back at him. He’s not been this close to her since he found out about her, keeping her at a distance. To protect her.

His arm was made to kill how could it ever hold a child and keep it safe?

She stares at him for a moment before a small “Hi” falls from her lips. It’s shy and timid and adorable and all Bucky wants to do is cuddle her to his chest and never let her go.

He doesn’t get the chance though as another little girl rushes past them and calls out to his daughter to follow her which she does.

“Who is that?” Bucky hears Morgan question.

“That’s my daddy, but I don’t think he wants to see me. Mommy says he needs time but —“

He doesn’t hear the rest of her words as the girls round the corner and get swallowed by the sounds of the other guests still mulling around sharing stories about their fallen hero.

But it’s enough. He doesn’t need to hear more. Those words are enough to rip his heart out of his rib cage, crush it up into a million little pieces, and spread it in the winds, never to be able to be put together ever again.

“Hey have you seen — oh Bucky are you okay?”

He doesn’t deserve her tenderness, her kindness, and her care, and yet she still exudes the same love she’s always held for him. Love he was never deserving of from the beginning.

It doesn’t matter at that moment though, who deserves what and who doesn’t. He’s too caught up in the breaking of his own heart. So he falls into her arms as silent tears slowly but surely make their way down his cheeks.

“She thinks I don’t want to see her.”

“Who does?” (Y/N) says as she gently combs her fingers through his long hair.

“My own daughter. “

(Y/N) pulls away slightly, holding onto his shoulders and looking deep into his eyes.

“Are you ready to talk about this now? Ready to stop avoiding me ?”

Bucky only nods and lets her lead him outside past the guests and down to the lake where it’s quiet and serene and life seems to slow down a little. She keeps holding on to his hand, his vibranium one, as they settle on a bench facing each other.

“ I missed you, Bucky.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

He’s been told those words so many times and it’s still hard to believe in them. Even when he knows they’re true. There will always be a hint of doubt since him. Always.

“I don’t — I don’t want her to think I don’t love her. Or want to be with her. I do love her very much. More than I have ever loved another person, including you, and you are my everything. I’m just overwhelmed and — and scared.” He admits. It’s the first time he says those words to anyone but himself. It feels good. It feels right. But it doesn’t take the fear away or the guilt.

“James, she knows you love her. Not a day went by that I didn’t tell her how much her daddy loves her and wants to be with us. And it’s okay to be scared. I was scared and I only had to deal with a baby, not an opinionated 4-year-old. It’s okay to be scared but you can’t let the fear hold you back. You’re the bravest man I know. You laugh in the face of danger. What changed?”

“Stakes are higher this time. What’s losing my life compared to ruining my daughter’s?”

“You’re not gonna ruin anyone’s life, Buck.” (Y/N) exclaims and softly pets the side of his face. She’s always been so gentle with him. Such a contrast to the touches he was used to.

“I don’t know the first thing about being a dad. Mine wasn’t a very good example. I have been trained to kill, to cause pain. My arm is a weapon.”

“Your arm has shielded me from bullets and harm so many times. It’s held me close at night and wipes my tears when I was sad. Your arm is only a weapon if you use it like that. And all the other stuff, that’s not you anymore. You know this. “

He can see the treads now welling in her eyes too and it makes his heart twist and constrict in many painful ways.

“And I left you alone during all of it. Missed the last 4 years of her life and the entire pregnancy. How am I gonna make up for that, for leaving you alone?”

It feels like once he’s started talking he can’t stop. All his fears and worries flow from his lips like tidal waves in an ocean. Crashing against the shore of truth.

“You didn’t leave us Bucky. You were taken from us. We never blamed you for that. I know you wanted to be there. I never doubted that for a second. Look, I had 9 months to come to terms with my fears, you didn’t have any time to face them. I get why you are freaking out but uh — it’s time to step up. You know what makes a good dad? Being there when he can be. Showing he cares. Can you do that?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I can.” Bucky promises and smiles a smile of content. One of hope. His fears and his guilt aren’t gone. But maybe if she believes in him and Steve does, maybe he can be the man and the father he needs to be.

“Good. We really do love you, Buck.”

“As in present tense?”

“Of course. We never stopped. Now can I ask one more thing of you?”

“What’s that?” In the end, it wouldn’t really matter. Whatever she asks he’ll do it. For her, he’ll do anything.

“Can you kiss me? I’ve been waiting for 5 years to finally kiss you again. I can’t hold out much longer. “

He grants her not one kiss, not two. In fact, he loses count as they get lost in many many loving kisses. Maybe, Bucky thinks, soulmates really are a thing. Maybe there are people on this earth meant to find each other. Meant to go through hardships together and still find their way back to one another in the end.

Whatever one chooses to believe in. Bucky is certain she is his person in this life and the next and through whatever might come their way.

He’s sitting on the big red couch in (Y/N)’s apartment, nervously fumbling with the tassels on one of the throw pillows as his eyes wander around the room. There are so many pictures, hung on the walls and placed on side tables and shelves. His child’s entire life up to now, caught on film for him to relive if only in his mind.

There are pictures of him too. One of him and Steve in the 40s, laughing and leaning against each other in support. (Y/N) always said it was one of her favorites. “You’re so happy in it. That’s how happy I want you to be all the time.” She’s told him once.

Next to a picture of (Y/N) and their daughter is a picture of him. He’s sure it’s placed there deliberately. To remind everyone he is a part of this family, even when he wasn’t there.

He is here now though. The next picture put up will be one of all three of them.

The front door opens and a melody of voices echoes through the place. (Y/N)’s laughter and the sweet giggle of his little girl. It’s his favorite sound in the world, he decided then and there. Nothing will ever compare.

The girl rushes into the room then comes to an abrupt stop in front of him.

“Hi,” she says in the same small voice as she did at the Stark’s house. Only this time Bucky doesn’t just stand and stare at her, unable to move or speak.

This time he holds out his arms and speaks up.

“Hi, I — I'm sorry it has taken me so long. I don’t know what I was thinking. I love you, Darling. Can I hug you?”

She doesn’t say yes or no, doesn’t glance at his vibranium arm with hesitance of fear. She falls right into him, wrapping her little arms around his neck and cuddling into his chest. It feels like this is where she belongs, like this is where she was always meant to be. Like his arms were made to hold her and never let go. And maybe, Bucky thinks, maybe they were.

“I love you too, daddy.”

He liked being a sergeant. It’s a title that has always filled him with pride. It has nothing on the title of being a dad. That one means so much more. Fills him with a pride and love he’s never previously known.

For the next few moments, he gets lost in the feeling of holding his child. A perfect little girl who is part of him. The good. Only the good. It all comes together in her. No nightmares or guilt or fears. Only love. So much love. He holds her close to his heart, wishing he could’ve done this when she was just a baby. Feel her heart beat in rhythm with his. He places little kisses up and down her small face. On her chubby little cheeks and her cute bottom nose, making her scrunch it up and let out soft giggles.

It’s strange to be the man he is and act so gently with another human being. But it feels so right.

His eyes find (Y/N)’s across the room, filled with tears though this time they are happy ones. With an outreached hand he beckons her over and pulls her onto the couch and into the hug.

This is right. Nothing has ever felt this real. This happy. This perfect.

His girls cuddle into him with nothing but love filling their hearts. This is the life he wants, the one he has always wanted. The life he fought for. The life he will never stop fighting for.

Steve was wrong. They aren’t his second chance.

They’re his only chance.

His destiny.

His family.

His home.

TAGLIST:  @stayherefor-evermore  - @booksb4looksstuff​ - @captainofallfandoms - @charmed-asylum​

[remakethestars]

Being Damian Wayne's Twin Sister Would Include:

Headcanons.

❝Exactly. I don't ask my dog to drive, and I don't ask the Justice League to solve my problems.❞

— Damian Wayne, Adventures of the Super Sons #9: Showdown on Hexworld

TRIGGER WARNING: Cursing, (Damian’s) death. Mentions of toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny, nightmares, blood, knives.

Headcanon masterlist.

When people ask you, “So, which one of you is the evil twin?” Damian always glowers, and you always motion to him.

You look disturbingly alike when only your eyes are showing; Damian’s got long lashes. Talia taught you a good tactic for tag-teaming in combat as kids was to pull up your hinged balaclavas and make the enemy think there was only one of you, that they’re seeing double.

Or for one of you to hang back while the other attacks as a distraction before the other knocks them out from behind.

Obviously, this won’t work when the two of you start filling out, but it works when you’re kids. It’s the reason why, even off the field, the two of you usually wear a matching outfits with hoods.

You utilize the same methods when she sends you to live with Bruce.

You don the Robin costume just like he does, much to the rest of the Batfam’s confusion (both because they weren’t expecting it and because they can’t tell you apart either), but sticking with the “red” theme, you go by Redstart.

There’s a rumor on the street that Robin V. is a meta that can teleport.

The two of you are freakishly good at mimicking the other’s voice and mannerisms, which makes it even harder for your family.

Jason tells you two about April Fools Day, and you make the most of it. Of course, Damian’s a pain in the a$$ and decides to go around pretending to be you and getting into trouble. You’re banned from the mall, and you still have no idea why. 

The two of you can communicate with just an impassive expression (Dick says it looks like a prime example of twin telepathy to anyone else), but anyone close to you knows sh¡t’s about to hit the fan when the two of you look at each other and smirk.

If it’s something you can’t communicate nonverbally, you use your cryptophasia. 

Cryptophasia is a language developed by twins when they’re learning to talk. Most of them grow out of it, you and Damian decided to keep developing it so it became more of a conlang. No one else has been taught to speak it, and they never will be. It’s for emergencies only.

Sun Tzu’s The Art of War was your Bible growing up, and the two of you call out verses when you fight together and need the other to understand a tactic (you both inherited Bruce’s eidetic memory, so you’ve got it memorized).

When you get too big to pull off the which-is-which game, you make your own costume and become the true Redstart. 

It’s basically Damian’s Robin uniform (the Super Sons’s version is the only one I’ll accept), but the boots and gloves are black, the biceps have a white stripe, the lining of the cape is white (the lining of the hood is black), the gold accents become white, it has a zipper down the front instead of clasps, and the mask becomes black (including the eyes). The waterline of the eyes is white. Like a painted redstart.

If Damian’s into animals, you’re into plants. The two of you find common ground on the fact that pollution sucks, so when you walk Titus, you take a trash bag and gloves with you to pick up litter as you go.

You did not want to go to Jon’s school. 

Not because you don’t like Jon (because you do), but because you know you could run intellectual circles around every one of those snot-nosed brats. 

School is stupid. Especially because the American education system is subpar; everything about it is.

You hardly pay attention in class. You do all of the homework a week ahead of time incase something comes up. Usually you’re doing next week’s homework in class. You’ve written entire papers on your phone in Google Docs in the middle of class to be printed out later.

If you’ve already done everything, Damian’s usually drawing and you’re daydreaming or you’re working on a case on your phone.

The teachers are always trying to catch you not paying attention, but you little sh¡ts can always answer their questions. 

Damian’s closest with Dick, but you’re closest with Tim. You admire his ability to plan ahead (see the entirety of the Red Robin comics), and you know that he’s better than both your father and your grandfather; you want to be as good as him when you grow up.

It takes a long time to wash the toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny our of your head, to learn that your grandfather’s ideas of “strength” were wrong, that it’s okay to lean on someone besides Damian, that you can be just as strong as your brother and still be feminine, that there are acceptable emotions besides anger.

Actually, your father teaches you that anger is more likely to get you killed. He won’t let you go into the field when he knows your angry.

It’s harder to drill out of you than your instinct to kill.

There’s a Lebanese restaurant called Tarbooshes (Teen Titans Special #1) the two of you go to when you’re feeling homesick. They make ox blood soup the same way your mother did, and it’s the only non-vegetarian thing Damian will eat for that very reason.

It’s nice to have a place to go where they know you by name and know what you want when you tell them “the usual.” It’s nice to have a place where you’re not a Wayne or an Al Ghul, where you’re just [Y/N] and Damian.

You disappear for an hour on your birthday to eat there. Bruce has asked you were you go, but you kept that between the two of you. 

Speaking of birthdays, you’re eleven minutes older than him. He was six pounds and ten ounces (Batman & Robin #0?), and you were a solid seven.

After Damian died, you go to Tarbooshes to feel close to him.

You were doing all right with the no-killing thing until the night Damian died.

Heretic never stood a chance.

He looked so much like Damian it gave you nightmares, though. Nightmares where you killed your twin brother and woke up sobbing.

Damian didn’t give you a speech in his last moments. He just looked over at you and said in your cryptophasia, “I’m sorry.” 

Not “I love you.” Not “Take care of them for me.” You knew that; you’d do that. He didn’t have to tell you, and he didn’t have to ask.

Just “I’m sorry.” Sorry that you were the one that was left behind.

It’s one thing to lose a family member, to lose a friend, or to lose a lover. It’s another to lose half of your soul.

The two of you had always feared you would die apart. It had always been a possibility; you weren’t stupid enough to think, “It’ll never happen to me.” Because it definitely could. 

And it had.

You wanted to run away from everything. Even just for a while. Go to one of your safe houses in London or France or whatever and just — you didn’t know — stare at the wall until you felt better? But you’d made that unspoken promise to Damian — “I’ll take care of them for you; don’t worry.” — to take care of Titus and Catfred and Jerry and Batcow and Goliath, to take care of Alfred and Bruce and Dick and Jason and Cassandra and Tim, to take care of Jon and Colin and Maps.

You avoided the cave. And if you had to go down there for some reason, you refused to look at the Robin suits.

Dick noticed. He asked if you wanted them taken down, even just for a while. You gave him a look like he was nuts and said, “No.”

Jon was a mess. More of a mess than you were, somehow. 

You’d shown up at the Kents’s. Jon was out doing Superboy things with Clark and Conner. Lois was the only one home.

You nearly scared her out of her skin when you materialized behind her and asked, “Is Jon home? It’s important.” 

He had to know first. He deserved to.

For all he put up with from you two, he deserved to be the first to know when one of you was f*cking dead.

Lois, of course, bless her heart, had the mom instincts to know that you were in no way, shape, or form okay even when you were trying so hard to hold yourself together. She asked you what’s wrong, and it’s what made you break. 

Your lip trembled. “He’s gone.”

“Who’s gone?”

“Damian,” your voice broke. “He’s dead.” 

Jon came home to find you in his living room in your Robin uniform, covered in Damian’s and Heretic’s blood, snot running down your lip, sobbing in his mothers arms and knew what happened without having to ask. He did anyway.

When you and Jon both finally passed out, your Uncle Clark flew you back to the Batcave. No one was in any condition — not even Alfred — so he carried you up to your room; took your boots, mask, cape, and gloves off; and tucked you in. Then he went to find Bruce because there was no doubt he was losing it too.

Bruce doesn’t tell you anything about trying to find a way to bring him back without the Lazarus pit because he doesn’t want to get your hopes up. 

You walk into your room one day to find Damian sitting there reading the dissertation (the requirement was three pages, not 120, but your teacher would just have to deal with your coping mechanisms) you had been working on for your World History class and left up on your laptop while on patrol. 

He said with the utmost indifference, “You’ve made some good points, Sister,” and, of course, you pulled out a knife and attacked him because this was — was — was some shapeshifting alien or hologram tech or a cruel joke — your twin was dead, this wasn’t funny, whoever did this was going to pay.

He met you blow-for-blow and flipped away from you before saying, “And here I was expecting a warm welcome,” in your cryptophasia. 

“Brother?” 

“Tt. Obviously.” 

Yeah, a college level thesis. You’re smart. You inherited Bruce’s eidetic memory and were raised by assassins.

You learned seven languages and wrote five doctoral theses by the time your teeth came in, wrote your first letter to a newspaper editor when you were two, could’ve had a geology doctorate when you were seven (Super Sons #1), and it only took you a week to learn the language on Takron-Galtos. You’re smart.

You’re also incredibly skilled. You learned to drive when you were five (Super Sons #1), your mother trained you to go for weeks without eating (Adventures of the Super Sons #6), you can micro-sleep for days and converse with half your brain asleep, can use a muscular contraction to move your liver out of the way of a blade (Nightwing #20), and can place yourself in a deep trance to heal damages caused by a hematoma (also #20).

(My dumba$$ didn’t note what Super Sons/Adventure of the Super Sons comic I was reading when I took notes, so I don’t have all of them noted in the two above bullet points. But that’s where they’re from. If I end up rereading them, I’ll edit this and add the comic numbers.)

The first time on patrol you thought Bruce was gonna die, you called him Baba. 

The next evening, when Dick came to visit the cave, he turned to you and Damian and asked, “So, which one of you called him Dad?” 

“How’d you know?” you asked. 

“He’s smiling the way he did the day I called him Tati.”

“He’s not smiling,” Damian pointed out.

“He is on the inside.”

Can we talk about how royally the Arkham Knights game screwed up Tim Drake? (Though, everything seems to screw up Tim one way or another, I guess.) Why does he look like a quidditch player in the gif above the cut?

Visit my headcanon masterlist.

DISCLAIMER ━━━ I’m a dumb white American, and I don’t know much about Arab or Romani culture other than what I’ve learned online. I hope I got it right?? If I didn’t, please drop a comment or P.M. me or something to let me know!

[wiypt-writes]

Sunny Side Up

Summary: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, right? And for Mike, there’s no better way to start it than by eating his favourite thing, ever.

Pairing: Mike Weiss x Reader

Warnings: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Brief mentions of drug addiction- nothing graphic. Language!

A/N: So this was what popped into my head after seeing @imanuglywombat​ post that damned latest Sex Position as part of her downright filthy and wonderful “Is That Even A Sex Position” weekly challenge. This position is called “The Special Breakfast”. See here for more information. And you can totally blame @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ for this one. I wasn’t gonna write it but…yeah, I did. Sorry not sorry.  I’ve tried to make the reader as non-descript and as inclusive as I can but I don’t usually do reader x fics so I apologise if it hasn’t quite hit the mark.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader.  By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Tagged my permanent tag list.

Main Masterlist

********

“No, that’s not the same, at all.” Mike’s voice drifted up the hallway of you house as you closed the door behind you, shutting out the bitter January wind that has descended over Dover. “Yeah, well they signed up to the terms so....”

You glanced at your watch, it wasn’t even seven-AM yet and he was already on to someone about the current case he was working. But then, that was Mike all over. An addict, only now you were glad to say the only thing flooding his system was adrenaline and passion for his work.

You hung your jacket up on the pegs by the door, unwrapped your woollen scarf from round your neck and placed that over the hook above your jacket and then reached down to unzip you boots, before toeing them off. Your sock clad feet padded down the wooden floor of the hall towards the kitchen and you walked in to see Mike was bent over a file on the island in the middle, already dressed for the office.

“Clause ninety-one, paragraph twenty, sub-bullet two. Yup. We’ll present that to them today, give them chance to respond.” He paused for a moment, his head turning to you, a warm smile spreading across his face as you leaned over for a quick peck before you headed to the fridge for a soda. “Yeah. Okay, no problem, see you about half eight.”

With that he placed the cordless phone down and turned to face you.

“Morning, Baby.” He grinned, before he nodded to the Diet Coke in your hand. “Interesting choice of drink for breakfast.”

“Technically it’s not my breakfast time.” You shrugged back. “More like dinner, I suppose.”

Mike chuckled as he crossed to space towards you, his hands falling to your hips before he bent down and brushed his lips against yours in a hardly there kiss. “Good shift?”

“A heart attack, car accident, two broken legs, couple of flu cases and a shit tonne of idiotic drunks, the finest Delaware has to offer.” You shrugged. “Usual shit.”

“I don’t know how you do it, Dr Y/L/N”

“Lucky for you I do, or we’d have never met.”

“And I’d be dead.”

“Don’t.” You shook your head, swallowing a little. The memory of that night almost eighteen months ago was still raw. If you hadn’t stopped by at Mike’s that evening following an argument the pair of you had earlier in the day, you’d never have found him almost dead from an overdose. It had been a long road to recovery, and whilst nothing was ever proven, Mike and Paul were convinced that it was something to do with the safety needle case they had been working. Despite the fact that there was enough heroin in his system to stop his heart, Mike swore blind to you he hadn’t taken anything but a few lines that night, and there was something about the way he said it that made you believe him. And so did Paul.

The authorities never managed to prove anything, but there was one good thing to come out of it. When you had broken down and told Mike how scared you’d been that he was going to die and that you couldn’t cope anymore with the constant fear that one day he would kill himself for real, it gave Mike the final kick he needed because he didn’t want to lose you.

So he got clean. And this time he did it for good.

It wasn’t easy, for either of you. Once he was medically fit enough, Mike had been placed on a programme at a Rehab Centre, whereby he saw no one bar trained medical specialists and councillors for six weeks. It felt like the longest six weeks of your life but he did it. And when you went to pick him up, you instantly burst into tears at how different he looked, how better he looked, how healthy he looked.

The road to recovery is a long one, paved with temptations, you knew that being a Doctor. And whilst Mike knew and understood his triggers thanks to his programme, those temptations met him everywhere, especially because he knew exactly where and how to get his fix. So the pair of you agreed to take a fresh start. You traded Texas for Delaware, the State you were originally from, and you were beyond proud to be able to honestly state that Mike Weiss had been clean now for eighteen months. Well, apart from alcohol that is. But even that was enjoyed in moderation, and to be honest, you’d rather him sit at home with a glass or two of bourbon each night that sticking fuck knows what into his veins.

You cocked your head to one side as his hands flexed on your hip and he gave you a little side smile. “Sorry. Oh, hey guess who I got a call from?”

“Who?” You asked as he stepped back, grinning.

“The Alligator Farm. Snappy’s got himself a lady friend. They’re gonna send me some photos and stuff.”

You smiled, giving up that beloved alligator had been a hard sell to Mike. “That’s great.”

“Yeah. Oh and Paul was thinking of coming over with the family in the spring. I said they could stay here, I know it’ll be a squeeze but is that okay?”

“Course it is.” You reached up to cup his cheek. “It’ll be lovely to see them again.”

Mike smiled and dropped another kiss to your lips, this one slightly stronger before you pat his chest as he rest his forehead against yours.

“I need to go shower.”

“Want me to come join you?” He asked, eyebrow raised and you smiled.

“As good as that sounds there’s something else I want more.”

“Oh yeah?” He grinned, his eyes flickering down to the buttons on your blouse and you laughed.

“Calm down, Stud. I want pancakes and bacon, I don’t give a shit what time it’s supposed to be for me.”

Mike groaned as you moved away from where you’d been stood with your back to the large, stainless steel fridge and headed out of the room. He watched you go, the gently sway of your hips in your well fitted black pants made his groin twitch. He was half tempted to fuck your demands and go and jump you in the shower whether you wanted him to or not, but he’d seen the flicker your face had given when you’d described how your twelve-hour shift had gone down. Despite your blasé tone, he knew you too well and understood exactly how tired and stressed you were feeling. So, instead, he turned his attention to making breakfast.

Something he prided himself on was his cooking ability. He’d picked it up pretty fast since you’d moved here, he found it was a welcome distraction, so much so you very rarely made meals now, bar when you insisted on doing a roast which he never argued against.  Within fifteen minutes he had a stack of pancakes, bacon, eggs- sunny side up, as you preferred- all laid out on the island and ready for you to help yourself to. He’d just poured you an orange juice when you walked back into the kitchen, hair piled on your head in a messy bun, wrapped in a dressing gown and he was pleased to see you looked relaxed.

“Oh, Mikey, this looks great!” You smiled as he wrapped an arm round you, kissing your head. He watched as you helped yourself to a huge plateful before making your way over to the table and sitting down with a sigh. Mike tucked his tie into his shirt to avoid it dropping into his food and plated himself a helping up before he sat down at the place next to you, cracking his neck slightly. The pair of you chatted about the day ahead, which for you consisted of sleeping until it was time to get up for your next shift, Mike’s contained a meeting with a company who he was currently in the process of negotiating a settlement with on behalf of a client. When you’d finished, Mike made to clear away the dishes but you gently placed your hand on his arm and stood up, insisting on doing it as he’d cooked.

When you returned to the table, Mike pushed his chair back slightly and patted his knee.

“Come ‘ere.” He smiled softly and you grinned, settling yourself on his lap sideways, your arm looping round his shoulder, fingers gently playing with his suspenders. He gave a contented sigh as he wrapped his arms around you and pressed a kiss to your head, happy to simply be close to you for a moment.

“You doing okay?” You asked and he smiled, your words carrying that hidden meaning- ‘Do you want a fix, today?’

“I’m good, Babes.” He pulled back to look at you. “I promise.”

Smiling you gently placed your lips on his in a soft kiss, which soon became heated as Mike’s hand slid up to the back of your neck, holding you in place as his tongue slid along your bottom lip. He was pleased when you reciprocated, opening your mouth slightly to allow him in. He could taste the sweetness of the syrup on you from your pancakes and, as your tongue gently swirled against his, he let out a little groan from the back of his throat and he felt you smile.

“How long till you have to be in the office?” Your voice was lower than you’d intended, betraying exactly what you had in mind and Mike grinned at you, pulling back a little, as he glanced up at the clock.

“Just over forty-five minutes, why?”

You bit your lip, fingers toying once more with his suspenders which were clipped to the waistband of his light, grey trousers and sat over a maroon shirt, set off with a black tie. “Do I gotta spell it out to you, Weiss?”

“No, I just like hearing you beg.” A cheeky glint flashed in his eyes and you gave a snort.

“I do not beg.”

“Really?” He arched an eyebrow and in a swift moment he stood up, causing you to give a shriek of a giggle as he sat you on the table in front of him. “I bet,” he pushed on your shoulders causing you to rest your weight on your elbows as he loomed over you, gently reaching for the tie on your robe, “that I can have you singing my name and begging for more,” his hands made quick work of the knot and pulled it open, before his fingers slid up the front, opening it to leave you bare in front of him, “in less than five minutes flat.”

“Less than five minutes?” You looked up at him, his eyes blown with lust and you smirked. “You’re so full of shit.”

He wasn’t though, you knew full well that you were the one full of shit. Mike had on many an occasion had you crying his name in less time than it took you to sing a verse of the National Anthem, and he knew it as the cocky expression on his face showed.

“Oh, Baby Girl.” He chuckled, bending over, his mouth brushing against that spot on your neck, the bristles of his short beard scratching your skin. “Have you learnt nothing, yet?”

“Only that you’re a cocky little bastard.” You tried to keep your voice level but it didn’t work. Your words came out a shaky whisper as one of his hands gently splayed on your stomach and brushed up your body to your sternum as he peppered hot, opened mouthed kisses across your collar bone, before his lips ghosted up your neck, over your chin and his mouth claimed yours in a searing kiss as his hand palmed at your breast. As he rolled your nipple between his finger and thumb you gave a moan and he smirked against your mouth.

Suddenly, he was gone from over you and you frowned, missing his sudden presence and you propped yourself up on your elbows to see him settling back in the chair by the table.

“Mike, what the-“

You were cut off as he reached over, grabbing your ass and hoisting your pelvis up, pulling you towards him. Before you could register what was going on, your legs were over his shoulders and you just caught a glimpse of his face, as he quirked an eyebrow at you, lips curled upwards in that maddeningly smug bastard grin, before his mouth was trailing up the inside of your thigh.

“Oh, Jesus.” You let out a little groan as he neared the place you now desperately wanted him and he chuckled.

“No, just me.”

“Fuck off you-“ But whatever it was you were going to call him flew from your mind as his tongue licked up your sex, and grazed against your clit, teasing it with quick, hardly there flicks which, you were ashamed to say, had you riled up something feral. His hands palmed at your ass, his fingers curling round the outside of your thighs as he quickened his movements, his mouth expertly devouring you, tongue flicking into your entrance as his lips circled that sensitive nub, giving a suck that made you cry out, your back arching off the table, pushing yourself further onto his face.

Mike let out a chuckle which vibrated exquisitely against you and you gasped again, your hands slapping onto the cool surface of the table, fingernails feeling the grain of the wood as he upped his efforts dramatically, lips and tongue teasing you in a way that was so delectable it was teetering along that fine line between pain and pleasure. His mouth expertly devoured every inch of you, from your inner and outer pussy lips to the depths of your walls, tongue fucking you like you he was starving, despite the breakfast the pair of you had eaten moments ago.

“Fuck, Mike, I need…” Your voice was croaky, the words sounded far off as they bounced around your lust addled brain and once again he chuckled.

“I told you.”

“Yeah, yeah you arrogant sh-oooh fuck!” You cried as he gently nipped your clit. “Shit!”

You were willing yourself to remain grounded, wanting to prove him wrong but you couldn’t. You couldn’t fight the urge you felt to ride over the edge which was building like a fire inside you. When his mouth was over you completely once more, tongue deep, you felt him move one of his hands and his thumb pressed against your clit, before the pressure eased off and his tongue slipped away.

"Okay, okay you win, Mike, please for the love of God!” You groaned and with a final, maddeningly smug chuckle he dove back in, only this time when you felt your orgasm brewing he didn’t stop. One of your hands flew to his hair, pulling lightly on his soft, spiky strands and he gave a growl as you tugged, his efforts doubling once more as his beard scratched against your sensitive pussy and inner thighs. The coil in your belly was tightening, your entire body quivered and with a final flick of his tongue you gave a cry as your orgasm crashed over you. Your toes curled into his back just below his shoulders, your own back arched as your walls clamped down over nothing, the room fading out as everything went silent and the lights erupted in front of your eyes, your entire body feeling like you were floating.

Mike grinned, guiding you through your release before he stood up, pulling you further to the end of the table as he undid the flies on his trousers, freeing his painfully hard erection. The swollen head of his dick gently swirled around your folds before he buried himself inside you, groaning as he felt you fluttering around him in the after throes of your orgasm. You let out a low groan and finally opened your eyes, looking up at him as he pounded into you, fully clothed, those fucking suspenders that drove you wild still looped over his shoulders.  

He slid one, large hand under your back and pulled you up causing you to cry out as he drove deeper into you, his hand on the base of your back pulling you up and towards him as he dipped his head to give you a dirty, sloppy kiss whilst he rolled and thrust into you. Then His lips moved down, nipping at your neck, his breath hot on your ear as your head fell back, a low moan rumbling in his throat.

“God, I love seeing you like this, fucking wrecked all because of me.” His panted words made you groan even more as the heat in your groin was beginning to mount again. “Makes me higher than any fucking drug ever could.”

His thrusts continued, hard, deep, and you felt his dick throbbing inside you as he drove up against your spot, his lips back on yours as he kissed you hard, swallowing the pants and whimpers you were making as you began to teeter on that cliff edge again. With a deep roll of his hips you let out a low wail and came, once more, your core spasmed around him as your entire body tingled, and that was enough for him to follow you. With a powerful thrust he stiffened, a low grunt stuttering from his lips as he pulsed inside of you, his hips growing sloppy before they stopped completely. His chest heaving, he pressed his forehead to yours, the pair of you gasping for breath as you came down from your high.

“Shit, Mike.” You managed to stutter as he grinned, his lips meeting yours in a soft peck. “That was…”

“Yeah, I was pretty good.” He chuckled and you slapped his arm as he moved and pulled out of you. You straightened your robe and stood up, wincing as you felt his release trickled down your inner thigh.

“I need another shower.” You grumbled, before you glanced at his crotch, the damp patch where he’d pressed against you was clear as day. “And you should probably change your trousers.”

Mike glanced down before his eyes met you, and he shrugged. “Maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll go into the office like this and then every time I see it I’ll be reminded exactly what a damned good breakfast I had this morning.”

You blinked before you shook your head, scoffing. “You’re gross.”

He laughed. “You love it, Sweetheart.”

“I love you.” You corrected, your hands sliding up over his shoulders and he smiled, a pure, innocent smile that made him look like a schoolboy before he took your face in his hands and kissed you deeply, pulling away, his nose bumping against yours.

“I love you too.” He whispered, his eyes locking onto yours. “Now go, before I decide to play hooky for the day.”

“Don’t tempt me with a good time, Weiss.” You smirked, before with one final quick peck you left the room.

Mike watched you go, before he ran his hands through his hair and turned to glance around the kitchen, his eyes falling to the table he’d just fucked you senseless on.

He should probably clean that before he went to work…

[blackbat05]

I need a break

Shangqi x Reader (Platonic) 

A/N: I feel like I’m loosing steam towards the end of my placement and wow I have never needed a break this badly before. Perhaps a short Shangqi x Reader imagine where they are both University students. Seriously at this rate I’ll just be solely a Shangqi writer HAHAHA. Doing this on my phone because I don’t want to open my work computer. Let’s see where this impromptu idea takes me to. Hope you enjoy it and as always like and comment if you wish!

Genre: PG-13

Warnings: None really, just friends supporting each other! I guess there’s an inaccurate timeline if you look at the MCU but hey this is an imagine plus if you look at some of the wiki pages, Shangqi is actually born in 1998/1999. So appreciate if you’re kind enough to go with the flow to read this comfort fic! 

‘Y/N!’ Shangqi rushes to catch up with you after class. You made an effort to conceal your tiredness but he saw it right through. ‘Gosh…you alright?’

You think to yourself. Were you really alright? The answer was pretty obvious. You were ten weeks into your placement and your emotions were a jumbled up mess. Having to deal with work responsibilities was one problem, school assignments were another issue all together. At this point, you felt like you were just getting through each week for the sake of it.

At first, you believed that what you were going through was simply a transition to becoming an adult. You thought that naturally, you would be able to persevere through the stressful periods by yourself. But of course, it has been hard.

You were a social work intern at a neighborhood youth centre, thirty minutes away if you took the train and bus. The work was fulfilling in it’s own ways, but recently there were self-doubts filling your brain, if you were really cut out for the job in the future. If you weren’t, what else could you do?

As you sat with Shangqi in the school’s student-ran cafe, you found yourself pouring out the exact same concerns to him. Credit to him, Shangqi never interrupted your monologue, he just simply listened. That’s what best friends were for. That’s what you did for him to when he ran into issues with his family.

Even then, he couldn’t deny that hearing you doubt yourself broke his heart. He had known you since high school. You mostly kept to yourself and one or two close friends. Despite joining the school’s athletic team where you were one of the main athletes, you preferred to stay in the shadows unlike some of your teammates. That didn’t stop you from going out of your way to help other students in need; like helping the girl who was in an arm cast to copy the social studies notes, even if it meant you had to do it twice. Or maybe just talking to a friend who was stressed out about their results.

Basically, you had studied your ass off to get a secured spot at this university who were only one of the few that offered the degree. He remembers you telling him the moment you got your offer, ‘I’m finally good at something. I don’t have to worry anymore!’

Shangqi wasn’t stupid. The pandemic had done some crazy things. And by crazy, it affected the self-esteem that you had been working so hard on by participating in various projects and events, with you being in charge of a drama production that was promoting on mental health. That was a big deal considering that you were a major introvert.

Online engagement was never easy. In fact he has heard some of your struggles that you’ve shared with him regarding this and it only makes him admire you even more. For someone who preferred to keep to themselves, stepping out of one’s comfort zone, to take on a role that wasn’t just simply about helping people - that took guts.

‘I’m sorry I’m just loading you with all this. I just feel…’ You trailed off, suddenly becoming emotional again. Again, Shangqi does not pry. ‘That I can’t do anything right.’ You emphasize that you had ended the statement for you were unsure that you could keep your cool if you had tried to continue on.

‘If I hear you saying sorry another time,’ he chides, ‘you’re paying for our meal later.’ Your lips curved upwards slightly before returning to its somber position. Shangqi decides that a meal won’t cut it. He needs to deploy ‘Operation Y/N’. Standing up with your buzzer to collect the food, Shangqi whips out his phone. There will be a few changes for today.

Food was definitely a cure in this situation, but it was only a part of the solution. After inhaling your ramen at light speed, Shangqi tells you that today will be a different Friday. ‘And you can’t complain! It’ll be a weekend tmr,’ he tells you. So why not? You figured that even if you went back home early, your head wouldn’t be in the right place to complete the essay for your English module.

‘Hold up! The VR studio that Katy was talking about?’ You look at the tickets inside the taxi that was taking you and Shangqi to the location. ‘How did you even, it was so hard to get these tickets!’ From the time Shangqi met you outside the classroom, he had yet to see you so ecstatic. Until now.

‘Well,’ Shangqi gives his best shrug. ‘I called in a favor from a friend. Said that it was for emergency purposes.’ He raised his fingers to make connotations in the air much to your amusement.

‘Wow… just how much do I not know about you Mr Popular?’ You teased. Shangqi decides to leave the fact on him having to persuade the Wakandan Princess in giving him free tickets.

‘Please! I swear whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it! It’s for Y/N!’

‘Ey well why didn’t you say so? If it’s for that nice friend, of course!’ Shuri leaves the entrance of the compound, an exasperated Shangqi trailing behind.

Yeah, the VR studio that Katy told them about was also funded by King T’Challa himself. With stunning life like visuals thanks to Wakandan technology, the VR studio was located in a middle class neighborhood. T’Challa believed that no matter where kids came from, they should have the right to enjoy and to explore the world. For now, he wasn’t ready to share that he was on the way on becoming a full-fledged Avenger yet - you just had too much on your plate. He’ll just have to settle with this white lie.

‘Is Katy coming?’ You were on the verge of vibrating off your seat. ‘She would love this place!’ Even when you were struggling, Y/N still manages to think about other people. Today, Y/N will put her needs first.

As if to answer your previous question, you can see an equally excited Katy waiting for the two of you at the roundabout. ‘HEL-LO EVERYONE! LET’S GET OUR FRIDAY STARTED IN PROPER SHALL WE?’ Her loud voice had attracted stares, some very displeased looks too but at this point in time, you didn’t give a damn. Katy was right, it was time to enjoy!

You wished that you could slow down time, or even replay it continuously when you needed cheering up because the only thing you felt was pure happiness - euphoria even. Your stomach was in knots for laughing hysterically together with Katy when Shangqi jumped in shock from a surprise scare from a zombie. ‘I’m keeping that for leverage,’ she tells you, quietly slipping her phone into her fanny pack. 

The Wakandans had really outdone themselves this time. Your favorite VR was the paradise VR. Slipping the headgear, you say goodbye to the smiles of Katy and Shangqi, whisking away to a beach that oddly reminded you of your dream destination - Hawaii. From where you were standing, you were surrounded by green and majestic islands. Despite their sheer size, you weren’t intimidated. In fact, you were healing. 

Your mind was no longer in the room of the VR studio. How could it when the sun kissed your skin, giving you the much needed energy that you were lacking for so long? In the room, the two sees you kick your shoes to the side, going barefoot. It may have seem strange, but with the monitor beside you, your actions were perfectly logical. 

As a kid, you used to despise the prickly feeling of sand in between your toes. But now, you grew to love the sensation that each grain of sand had on your skin. It made you feel grounded, that everything was going to be ok. You raise your virtual hand to touch your face - were you crying? 

‘She must have been really stressed huh?’ Katy whispers to Shangqi who nods in return. How he hated the fact that you were giving so much to your work but still felt underappreciated. Forget the Avengers with superhuman abilities, you were the true MVP. The VR ends and you remove your headgear. ‘I’m ok,’ you automatically reassure them despite the dry tears left on both cheeks. You step down the platform slowly, trying to regain sense of the real world. 

What you didn’t expect was the two embracing you in a hug, squishing you in between them. Maybe that had set off the waterworks. For someone like Katy, she had sage advice.

‘Life can be pretty shitty right? But I’m so proud of you fighting it Y/N. Just remember that it’s ok to be weak. I mean, I’ve seen worse from Shangqi,’ she jabs her finger towards his direction, earning a glare from him. That’s Katy, always trying to add a bit of humor to this grey world. Calming down, you let go of the both of them. ‘Thanks guys, for everything.’ 

‘Hey,’ Shangqi responds, slinging his arm over your shoulder. ‘We’re friends, so we don’t leave each other behind.’ Phone beeping, he retrieves it to check the message. ‘And look at that, nice timing. Who wants Korean BBQ?’ 

Trailing behind them, you get an amusing view of Shangqi bickering with Katy on how many Soju bottles she’s allowed to order later. As San Francisco welcomed the night, you were just thankful that you had the two of them to walk through this crazy maze called life. 

‘Last one to the shop is paying!’ 

‘Oh you’re on Mister!’  

A/N: I really just think that this was also an imagine for me to cope too. So I can only hope to finish my placement/assignments/exams well! To anyone who does studies and work simultaneously, I fucking respect you (allow me to use expletives for now, these people deserve the respect). If you’re going through a stressful time, I hope this brings the slightest comfort for you and remember… YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Again, thank you for reading! 

[peachywrite]

Unpleasant Pleasantries

Rohan Kishibe x JosukeSister!Reader

Trigger Warning: inappropriate stand use, mild suggestive themes

Rohan thought this to be the perfect opportunity to get back at that imbecile with the hair of a 60’s delinquent, but instead found something more fulfilling than revenge.

It was your first time meeting the famous mangaka, but Koichi insisted that you introduce yourself to the newly found stand user as a formality.

~

“It’s better to make friends than enemies, y/n! So please do this for me.” He begged, clasping his hands tightly together as he bowed.

“Koichi-chan, he ripped out pages from your face and tried to do the same to Okuyasu and Josuke. I don’t know if I trust this guy.” You sighed, nervous and even a little scared.

“It’ll be fine, when you tell him you’re related to Josuke, he won’t even think about trying anything!” Koichi’s eyes glistened, still silently begging you to go.

“Fine, but if I don’t show up back home in an hour, call Josuke please.” Koichi nodded enthusiastically, shouting thank yous while he ran off to find your brother.

~

Thanks to the written address Koichi had given you, it was easy to find the large Victorian mansion that belonged to the isolated artist.

“Come on, y/n. You can do this. Just a quick hello and you’re done.” You tried to psych yourself up, taking one last deep breath before approaching the walkway that led up to the door.

Knock Knock

You waited, your heart rate a bit too quick for your liking.

You could hear the steps on the other side slowly approaching and suddenly stopping, only to find the door creak by.

“Now who would be disrupting the Great Rohan Kishibe?” The man spoke in a sinister tone, swinging the door open.

Rohan Kishibe looked nothing like how you expected him to. He was built slim but still toned, his green hair neatly styled and face slim and sharp with a cute dolphin bandage placed on the bridge of his nose. His green eyes stared at you intently, as if he was trying to analyze your face as well.

“I-I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to cause you any trouble. My friend Koichi wanted me to introduce myself. I’m Y/N Higashikata. I’m a stand user and I go to school with the rest of the boys.” You stammer out, guilt hitting you for interrupting the presumably busy manga artist.

The man eyed you with a devilish smirk, clapping his hands together like he had discovered something amusing.

“You’re Josuke’s little sister! Oh how fun! You know, you’re too cute to be related to that boy. Now please come in, I’ll make you some tea and we can talk.”

“I’m actually the same age as him, and I’d love to join you but I got... study plans with K-Koichi!” You tried to avoid his stare but as he made eye contact, you knew you had lost.

“Nonsense! I’ll give him a call and let him know you’ll be studying with me, now please come in already.” His smile grew while he pulled you into his abode by your wrists.

The house was lightly decorated with manga related memorabilia on the wood carved shelves and many original panels from famous mangas hung framed on the soft toned walls, but the home still held a grand Victorian feeling to it.

Your original unease disappeared as you took in the grandeur of the mansion and the interesting items that adorned it so carefully. Rohan smirked at the curiosity in your eyes and the quick movements they made while you focused on specific areas of his home.

“Would you like a personal tour of the property before we study? I will warn you though, not all the rooms have been styled by yours truly yet. It’s a work in progress at the moment.” The smile he bared had you suspicious again, but you didn’t want to be rude to the owner of such a magnificent estate.

“As much as I would love to, your home is absolutely stunning, I sadly only have an hour to study. My mom would kill me if I got home late again.” A hefty sigh escaped your lips and you gave him your best upset expression you could muster.

You hoped he wouldn’t key in on your lying, remembering the warning Koichi had given you about his ability to discern genuine emotions from fake ones.

The mangaka squinted his eyes for a moment, causing your heartbeat to speed up substantially, but his face returned to its usual smile that you swore held a bit of deviousness underneath.

“Oh! it’s alright, dear. I understand. I’ll save it for your next visit. Let’s get to your work now, follow me to the kitchen. I’ll prepare us something and you can take a seat by the window.” He gently took your hand, guiding you to the kitchen and carefully pulling out a seat for you at his dining room table.

A beautiful bouquet set in a hand sculpted vase caught your interest on the table as Rohan busied himself with brewing a fresh pot of tea. The flowers were bright in color compared to the muted ones of the vase, but the contrast made both appear unique and appealing to the eye.

“I see you even appreciate the smaller details of a home. Though I am a mangaka, I do dabble in other forms of artistic expression. Take pottery for example, I glazed this vase in a muted color pallet so it could stand out on its own when beautifully bright flowers were placed in it. The two compliment each other nicely, don’t they?” He set down two tea cups and began to pour.

“Yes! And I especially love the bright purples in the lillies you picked here.” You gently touched a petal, Rohan now lightly tapping his cheek, pulling out a chair for himself to sit right beside you.

His closeness and unwavering gaze brought a heaviness to your chest, making you stumble over your words.

“Um-m thank you for treating me so well and letting me study in your home, Rohan-sensei.” You began to unpack your notes and textbook, Rohan scooting closer to analyze what you had written.

“No need to thank me, my dear. Now let’s get to your studies. What is it you need to work on today?” The smile he shares with you is comforting, but you can’t help but feel like he was plotting something.

You set your pencil bag down and prepare your notebook, trying to make yourself busy by setting up.

“Biology. I’ve only just recently started going to school in person, but I tested well enough to be placed in the highest class. Today we’re supposed to label all the organs in this frog drawing.” Your tone comes off as annoyed and Rohan picks up on it, tilting his head to the side while he reads your frog diagram.

“You aren’t a fan of biology? I’ve got a few anatomy sketches of animals you could use instead of this photocopied worksheet. Maybe that will help peak your interest?” He stands and saunters out to find his sketches, leaving you alone in the kitchen.

When Rohan returns, the two of you work on your Biology homework for about an hour, finishing the entire pot of tea in the process. You found out that Rohan was quite skilled at anatomy, having an entire sketchbook dedicated to the anatomy of many living things, including the likes of frogs and flowers. He was extremely helpful and fun to talk with.

As you packed up your bag, Rohan remained seated in his chair, playing with one of the lilies from the bouquet. You weren’t sure if you should head towards the door and leave Rohan or wait for him to stand and lead you out. You were about to speak when the mangaka interrupted with a swish of his pen in your direction.

“Heaven’s Door.”

You felt a sharp shove of air to your midsection, sending you onto the floor. Every movement you attempted was futile as the grinning artist looked down at you. A deep chuckle haunted you while he leaned in closer to your face. His hands gently caressed your cheek, opening it up like a book.

“I’m sorry, y/n. You’re interesting and I’d love to learn more about you, but I’m impatient. It’ll be far easier for me to just read you. Don’t fret, my dear. I’ll make sure you don’t remember this.” He flipped through your pages, ignoring the tears that ran down onto the very paper he was trying to read.

“Now let’s just read the juicy bits today. You were hospitalized along with your brother when you were only four, a strange parasite made up of Dio’s cells attacked your immune system at age twelve and had you bedridden until fairly recently.” The curiosity he held for your story excited him, the pen he held in one hand quickly wrote onto the notepad he placed on the floor beside your head.

You felt like sinking into yourself, ignoring his quips and teases as the embarrassment of the mangaka reading your thoughts and feelings enveloped you. It wasn’t fair. Why did he have to be this way? He was so kind before and just like a flick of a switch, he changed.

“Oh, now how did you escape that? Here we are, thanks to Mr.Joestar’s Hamon lessons, you not only came back from your illness, but gained a proper stand and the ability to wield Hamon just like your father and great grandfather! Wait, what’s this new paragraph about?” He squinted closely, reading your page out loud again.

“I have to visit Rohan Kishibe today because Koichi told me to. He practically begged. Even though I’m scared, Koichi gave me his word that nothing bad would happen. Rohan Kishibe looks very different from what I imagined a mangaka to look. Well, what did you expect me to look like?” His smirk grows as he continues on.

“Ah, another new bit is here! Rohan Kishibe is very good at anatomy, he’s been kind and helpful, I’d like to get to know him better. I think Josuke was just overreacting when he called Rohan Kishibe pure evil. I could see us being friends.”

His smile disappears skimming the next sentence, his usual tone of voice changed as he starts to read. He sounded upset, hurt even.

You were the one being wronged here! Why would he get upset? He doesn’t have the right.

“Josuke was right. Rohan Kishibe is not nice, he is terribly mean. He’s using me for his entertainment. He doesn’t care. Rohan Kishibe is not kind, he is not helpful, he is cruel, I don’t want to get to know him. I want to forget him.”

“I hate Rohan Kishibe. I hope to never see him again.”

Rohan paused, looking away from your pages, trying to focus on anything else for the moment.

“W-well, I’ll just fix this last paragraph and erase it from your mind. You’re being dramatic, I’m not as terrible as you describe me.” Chuckling to himself, he tries to laugh off his obvious pain and attempts to regain his composure.

“No! I won’t let you erase my emotions!” You shouted, a wave of Hamon spreading through his arm as his pen touched your page, his attempt to rewrite your memory foiled.

The mangaka was sent flying back, his right arm dropping the pen and your face finally shutting closed, returning your ability to move. Although you were upset at the betrayal of trust you gave the man, you felt a twinge of guilt in your heart when you spotted his still form draped across the wood floor, cradling the arm you had burned with your Hamon.

Running to his side, all thoughts of malice left your body while you attempted to get a better look at his injury. His arm was still intact thankfully, but it was badly burned and needed to be set correctly and quickly if he ever wanted it to heal properly. You took a deep breath and turned Rohan over to see if he was still conscious.

“Oh god, Rohan I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened.” Your eyes fill with tears again as you see the artist weakly rest himself against the wall, still holding his arm close to his chest.

“No, no it’s alright. I brought this on myself. I accept that.” He grimaced, trying to take a peek at his injuries but too frightened to actually check.

“You read my thoughts and history, it wasn’t right but you didn’t physically hurt me. I don’t know how that happened, but I promise you I’ll fix it.” You swore to the manga writer, now searching through your backpack.

When you found your pair of scissors, you went into full first aid mode, removing the sleeve from his right arm by carefully cutting the loose cloth off. After tossing the short sleeve to the side, you cut the bottom of the skirt you were wearing off into a long bandage-like shape of clothing and ran it under the cold tap water from the kitchen sink, returning to the injured Rohan.

“I’m going to wrap your arm with this, it won’t be painful if you let me use my stand, but I’m going to ask you first before I use her on you.” The man nodded, accepting your offer to erase the pain.

“Under Pressure. She’s a stand that has the ability to manipulate emotions. She can change them within a radius or focus on only one individual. When she focuses on a single person, she is only able to change their emotion to the opposite of what is being felt.” You began to wrap his arm, nervous about what he might feel when you placed the wet fabric loosely around it.

All Rohan could do was bite back his lip to avoid making any embarrassing sounds. Instead of the immeasurable pain he imagined to come with dressing a freshly burned wound, he felt a wave of euphoria. He now understood what you meant by the “opposite” emotion would be felt.

The artist never knew wrapping his burned arm would feel so good, every touch caused his breath to hitch in his throat and his eyes to water. It confused him, even though he understood that the opposite of pain was pleasure, it still startled him every time you did one more pass of the homemade bandage.

He tried his hardest not to be flustered, but when you finished off his arm by tieing the last bit with a knot, he let a small whimper escape his lips. His hand shot up to cover his face, it’s hue now a bright crimson.

Your cheeks turned bright pink as well. You turned away swiftly, to avoid eye contact.

“U-Um just stay put. I’m gonna borrow your phone for a second and let you catch your breath.” Scratching the side of your cheek, you stand up and make a b-line for the phone, dialing your home and hoping that Josuke would pick up. You glanced at the clock set on the wall, it read 8:15.

I’m late.

As soon as the phone line rang once, you spotted the front door to Rohan’s manor fly across the main hall. Peeking your head out from the kitchen, you see a furious Josuke with Koichi in pursuit.

“ROHAN-SENSEI! WHERE IS MY SISTER YOU CREEP?! SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HOME 15 MINUTES AGO!” He yells out, his voice echoing throughout the home.

“Josuke! I’m here! I was just about to call you. Listen, I messed up bad and hurt Rohan. He’s in the kitchen bandaged up but I need you to heal him all the way.” You run to Josuke, giving him a tight hug while trying not to cry from the stress of the situation.

Josuke squeezes you once and let’s you go, looking you over from head to toe so he could make sure you weren’t injured as well. When he spots your torn skirt, his aura radiates a dark malice you’d never seen him show before.

“Wait Josuke! I did this to myself, we didn’t have bandages so I cut some cloth.”

He looks you over again and sighs heavily, the purple hue that was full of rage, leaving him.

“Ok, fine. Where’s that jerk? I’ll fix him up real quick so we can go home.” He grumbled, following you into the kitchen.

Even though Rohan wanted to refuse any treatment from Josuke, he finally accepted the help when you threatened to cry on the spot. His arm had returned to its previous state, unburned and fully functional, thanks to Josuke and Shining Diamond.

Josuke picked up your backpack and held the now fixed front door open for you, while Rohan stood and waved goodbye. You awkwardly returned the wave and made your way back home, your thoughts chaotic and confused.

On the one hand you felt guilty for putting Rohan through such an immense amount of pain, but you were also upset at the humiliation he put you through by reading your life with Heaven’s Door. These thoughts plagued your mind as you laid your head to rest for the night.

~

It was roughly two in the afternoon when Rohan Kishibe knocked on your front door. A short but older woman answered, complaining about the loudness of the knocks when she looked over the artist.

“Oh, my apologies. You’re that Rohan Kishibe my kids talk about. How may I help you, Mr. Kishibe?” She asked with a warm tone to her voice, leaning against her door frame and smiling up at him.

“Is y/n in? I’d like to deliver this to her personally.” He spoke softly, shaking the box he held in his hands.

Your mother couldn’t help but chuckle to herself. He appeared to be anxious and uncomfortable, most likely it was his first time gifting something like this.

“She’s not home yet, but give her five minutes. Why don’t you come in? You can wait for her up in her room, just don’t go raiding her drawers or anything.” She joked, Rohan’s cheeks turning vivid scarlet.

“I’m only pulling your leg, sweety. I know you’re better than that. Now come on! Have a seat at her desk and I’ll bring you up some lemonade.” Rohan followed her inside.

When they reached your room, Mrs.Higashikata opened the door and waved her hand to your desk seat.

“Pull up that chair there and I’ll be back with some refreshments.” Her smile gleamed at him. She walked off to the kitchen, leaving the artist alone in your room.

Rohan browsed around your room, taking in the personality that was apparent by the many bits of decor that gave your little private space a peculiar style. Your walls held photos printed on Polaroid film, sketches presumably drawn by you, and posters of your favorite video games and shows.

When he glanced around your room, he was immediately caught off guard when he spotted two volumes of his very own manga, propped up and on display in your bookcase. To say he was flattered was an understatement, he was completely floored. You were a fan of his?

His heart was heavy all of a sudden, he felt a dreadful pain in his chest while he held the book in his hands. He turned his head toward the doorway when he heard your voice greet your mother. To regain himself, he quickly skimmed through the pages of the manga he was holding, hearing your distant conversation come to an end.

You entered the room. Dropping your bag at the corner of the closet, your eyes never leaving Rohan while you take a seat on your bed. The mangaka gently placed your copy of Pink Dark Boy back in its original position, turning around now to face you.

“I’d like to humbly apologize for my abhorrent behavior and actions yesterday. I was terrible. I know it might be asking too much of you, but I brought you this as a peace offering. I want us to start over. I’d like to get to know you the right way.” He passes you the box he was carrying with him, nudging you to open it.

Casually unknotting the bow and removing the lid from the bottom, you slowly lift what appears to be a white sundress out of the box. It was beautifully made and looked to be just your size.

“I know it’s not the skirt you tore, but I felt like you deserved something a little more unique.” He averts your gaze quickly when you attempt to gauge his reaction.

The mangaka appears to be flustered, apparently not very used to apologizing. His eyes held a fear of rejection but also a glimmer of hope. A breath you never knew you were holding was released with a quiet hum.

“It’s beautiful, thank you, but do know that buying me things isn’t going to repair my trust in you. We can at the very least start over though.”

Rohan smiled to himself, thankful for your empathetic nature, and nodded a quick yes.

“Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, how about we take that dress and enjoy some tea at the cafe? My treat.”

[vanillann]

double sided recipe card (pietro maximoff x reader)

a/n: hi, pietro is literally the love of my life so OF COURSE i’d do this!! also request are always open so don’t be scared to send an ask whenever!!

word count: 2.3k

“Has anyone seen Pietro?”

I swung around the kitchen of the compound, walking in to find Clint and Nat in a conversation about who knew what. They both smiled when they saw me but Clint's face dropped slightly when he realized my words.

“Why do you need Roadrunner?” Clint crossed his arm, leaning back on the kitchen island slightly.

“I have his physical and if he wants to go to the mission tomorrow,” I tried off, smiling at Clint when he rolled his eyes.

“I think he’s in Wanda’s room,” Nat pointed over her shoulder, patting my shoulder when I passed her.

I did the lightest jog to the evaluator, finding Wanda’s floor number and smashing the button. The folder played between my fingers, my eyes begging to look but I knew I’d get in trouble if I was caught on camera.

The smallest ding drew me from my stares, informing me I had made it to the correct floor. I skipped out lightly, smiling when I noticed Wanda's door slightly ajar, the slightest bit of laughter spilling out into the hallway. I didn’t think much of him in Wanda’s room, he tended to sit around everyones room beside his own.

I stepped closer to the door, my knuckles ready to knock but I stopped when I noticed a female voice laugh. I looked closer, noticing Pietro sat in front of the T.V. his back turned to me but his knees were pressed to his chest as he stared at the T.V.

“Pietro,” a little bit of a younger Wanda's face smiled from the screen, her giggles sounded the same as they do now as she looked up.

“I’m shocked you didn’t see it coming,” Pietro's voice sounded around the room, the entire video was starting to catch up. Wanda mentioned she had a few older home videos in her room, she didn’t watch them but she never had to heart to watch them.

“I’ll kill you.”

Pietro suddenly slammed his hand on the remote, doing his best to make the video stop but the laughter never stopped. He held in the air, ready to throw it at the T.V. before my feet took off. I don’t know how I made it to his side so fast, my hand wrapping around the remote as I placed my other hand on his back.

“Hey,” my voice was soft as I got his hand to fall, he looked shocked for a second and I realized he probably was upset. I was watching but that didn’t matter as he curled closer to me. His hands pulled at the overshirt hoodie that clung to my frame, his face pulling closer.

He didn’t cry, just took angry breaths and held himself closer to me. By the time dinner rolled around he had drifted off, his hands lose on my shirt as I played with the edge of the folder.

“Piet-” Wanda knocked lightly on the door, a little smile on her face before she spotted us on the floor.

“Hey Wanda,” I spoke softly, trying to get his hand off so I could speak away from my ear, making sure I didn’t wake him. Wanda waited a second, most likely reading my mind for a second before she gave a sad smile.

“The home video?”

I just nodded, following her from her own room to the kitchen, where I could smell the food flooding the building.

“He does alot of bottling up, with the anniversary of mother birth-” Wanda trailed off, upset as she spoke about her poor mother.

“When’s her birthday?”

“Tomorrow,” Wanda shrugged, both of us stepping foot in the elevator.

“During the mission? I’m so sorry, I can lie to Tony and tell him you aren’t clear-”

“Don’t worry about it (Y/N), it’ll be good not to think about it.” Wanda smiled lightly, looping her arm in mine as she leaned on me slightly.

“Thank you, for being there for him.

“Of course, you know I care about you both.” The door slid open, the smell even stronger as we heard Steve’s laugh fill the compound.

“Care isn’t the word I’d use,” her accent was thicker as she rolled her eyes at me, the hint of a smirk on her lips as we walked closer to the kitchen. I pinched her side, laughing when she jumped slightly.

Once we made it to the kitchen the smell well smashed into my system, walking over to look down at the soup that was lightly boiling.

“It’s a Saliva meal,” Wanda handed me a bowl, holding one in her own hand while she waited for me to hurry up.

“Should I wake Pietro? He wouldn’t want to miss this-“

“I’ll make it again, for now he should rest.” Wanda held my arm, smiling at my concern for her brother as I gently picked up the ladle and became pouring my own soup in the bowl. I watched the light brown broth pour into the bowl and suddenly I knew exactly what I had to do.

“Wanda, would you leave the recipe card out for this?”

I stumbled into the kitchen, the reusable bag full of different ingredients practically falling from the bag.

“Aren’t you glad you aren’t an Avenger,” I heard Pepper’s soft voice from behind me, her giggles coming from the doorway. I only shrugged, looking down gloomy as the ingredients that sat over the island.

“What are you making?” I felt her presence beside me now, looking over the food beside me. I didn’t say a word, holding up the recipe card Wanda had thankfully left out.

“This is what we had last night,” Pepper noticed, looking at the side of my face with the smallest smirk ever across it.

“I’m making it for Pietro for when they get back, he didn’t get any last night.”

Pepper bumped my shoulder, my eyes rolling in the back of my head before I reached for a tomato. I let it roll around in my hand a few times, looking down at the card Pepper had placed back down.

“You don’t know what you're doing?”

“Nope,” I popped the “p”, walking around the island to grab one of the pots and filling it up with water. I placed it on the stove, staring at it for a little bit as if waiting for something to happen.

“Would you like help?”

I probably should say yes, I was trying to make this soup when I should barely make a bowl of cereal. Maybe soup was one of the easier foods to make but I would spend half the time as a few words still in Russian on the card.

“I’ve got it don’t worry,” I brushed her off, simply because I was hoping if I could pull this off alone he would be proud of me. I was hoping he’d make a smartass comment with that little smirk and mention that I did a great job.

“Okay, let me know if you need help. I’m always happy to do so for you and Wanda, just not Tony.” I laughed slightly at her sarcasm, waving over my shoulder as I heard her light footsteps leave the kitchen.

I finally reached out and turned the burner on, smiling when I heard the small click signaling it was in fact on and ready to begin boiling the water. I turned back to the island, picking at the index card. I assumed it was a family recipe but the handwriting and the older terms were used within the recipe.

As I finally placed the tomato on the cutting board, a large knife in hand I thought things were falling into place.

I was in fact, wrong.

I panicked when I heard the elevator open, hearing a light noise of voices enter the floor. I couldn’t be everyone as they weren't as loud and also with how late it was. Clint wasn’t going to hang around with everyone at 2:12 in the morning.

“Just go in the kitchen,” I heard a light female voice speak, my panic rising as I realized Pietro was in fact home and probably seconds away from walking in the kitchen.

I hid my bandage hand behind my back, trying to block the few things I managed to chop before I attacked my own hand with it by accident.

“Why?” His accent was thick with sleep, which made a little smile dance across my lips. I understood why Nat was teaching them to lose the accent for safety reasons but I loved the way they spoke with it.

“Just do,” I saw the door slightly move, knowing someone was going to walk in soon and part of me panicked. I was more worried about Pepper finding me like this, she would have my head if she saw this and I didn’t let her help.

“Fine fine,” I watched him finally walk into the kitchen, lucky alone, as he looked around it for a second. When his eyes spotted me against the counter he smiled but it quickly fell when he spotted the mess behind me.

“(Y/N)?”

“Pietro?” I spoke with nerves. my body on high alert.

“What’s this?” He looked down at the island, his eyes spotting the recipe card I had forgotten to put away. His finger picked it up, a sad smile on his lips before he even read the words on the card.

“My mothers,” his voice sounded far away, as if for a second he was back home before the bomb, before they lost everything but each other.

“Wanda let me use it,” I pointed with my unharmed hand, trying my best to make him comfortable with the conversation.

“She told you?”

“Just a few details,’ I brushed off, my eyes suddenly looking everywhere but him as I wanted to leave the kitchen and run into my own room. I had already ruined the meal, let's not ruin a whole friendship.

“You told me you couldn’t cook?”

I laughed at the memory, I completely forgot about the time I told him about Bruce’s birthday. Thor and I thought making a cake was a great idea but it ended up with a weird green blob. I was much younger then sure, but it definitely showed my abilities with making any sort of food.

“You remember that story?”

“I remember all your stories, as you do mine.” I finally stopped looking at the floor, looking up at him as he titled his head at me. His arms were crossed on the island but his under eye bags stood out against the harsh light of the kitchen. The natural light was long gone and it was only the moon that bought light from the outside.

“You should probably get to bed,” I wasn’t thinking straight as I walked forward and lightly pushed open the door for him. I high when my fresh cut hand hit the wooden door slightly too hard.

Even as tired as he was, Pietro was at my side in milliseconds, looking over my hand with the awkward bandage across it.

“What did you do?” I ignored the little pet name, trying to pull my hand from his grip.

“I’m really bad at cutting potatoes,” I shrugged, the awkward smile making its way across my lips. He said nothing, looking up at me with a disapproving look.

“You must be more careful,” he looked at it a little longer but eventually let my hand fall to my side as he smiled slightly at me.

The silence felt like it lasted forever, like it would never end, but it eventually did when he spoke.

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t exactly make it,” I pointed to the brown sad water with nothing else in it. I didn’t make it far before things started going bad. Pietro frowned at me, speeding around the kitchen quickly before he stood in front of me.

A bowl was held in his hand, the brown water now had a few of the vegetables floating around in it, it looked much better but still not what Wanda made last night.

“I don’t know what you mean, I have it right here.” He held a spoonful up, taking a wide bite. I could tell it wasn’t what he thought but he didn’t look like he was going to be sick.

“It’s not your mothers recipe,” I looked up at him, trying my best not a smile at his little pout every time I said something.

“No, it’s your own.” He placed the bowl down, flipping the index card around and grabbing a pen that stayed in the kitchen for any reason. I panicked when I saw him start writing on it, my hand shooting out to stop him but he just quickly moved to the otherside of the island.

“That was your mother Pietro!”

“Now it’s your and my mothers! Two of my favorites on one card, don’t tell Wanda that,” he pointed at me with the last part, his smirk painted across his face making me feel little butterflies in my stomach.

I watched him write my name across the top with the ingredients he saw I had used. Once he was down he slid it across the table, smiling when I laughed at the title.

“(Y/N)’s Happy Mistake.”

“Yes, it’s my personal favorite,” he smiled, my own growing wider as the seconds went on with his looking at me like that.

“Thank you.”

“I should be thanking you, for everything,” he walked slowly, for the first time, around the island. He leaned beside me, his arm touching my own. I let my head rest there, smiling when I felt him leave a gentle kiss on my crown.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Anything Pietro,” I felt myself lean closer to him. I knew we would have to talk about this feeling in the morning, but we were both too tired to care for now.

“There aren’t any potatoes in my mothers’ soup.”

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[duxhess-kryzewan]

Obitine First Kiss?

- Drowning -

When they had first landed on Corellia, Obi-Wan was relieved to be somewhere that had plenty of fresh water. The last planet they had been hiding on was dry and dusty and even Satine - born and raised on a desert planet herself - had became sick of the terrain.

The novelty quickly wore off the longer they trekked through the jungle. The forestry was dense, the humidity unforgiving. Every breath he took came with the unsettling sensation of drowning on dry land.

Qui-Gon had left them the night before last, leaving Obi-Wan with coordinates on where to meet the following day. He had a contact - a long time ally - who resided on miles away from the forest they were hiding in. If all went according to plan, they would have a new and unrecognizable ship and a safe means off the planet. All he was tasked with was keeping Satine safe in the mean time.

He didn't like to read too much into why Qui-Gon was so keen on leaving them alone together.

"The sky looks like it'll be clear tonight." Satine comments as they move into a clearing.

"It' seems so," He says, "Let's just hope it stays that way."

Storms were frequent and often unpredictable. One minute the sun would be shining, only for the clouds to roll in mercilessly pelt the planet with rain.

"From desert to storm," She huffs, "I can't tell which is worse."

He observes her intently as she walks; how her damp hair clung to her neck, how she would periodically run the back of her hand across her brow line. He sympathized with her discomfort. The air felt sticky, the breeze heavy as it blew past them. Satine had long since abandoned her attempts at maintaining her regality. There was no point anymore. She had been with them long enough to know they wouldn't judge her in the slightest for slipping out of her Duchess façade, and the climate made it nearly impossible to look the part.

Not that it mattered much. Obi-Wan didn't think there was anything that could make her any less beautiful.

He tried to push the thought to the back of his mind. An irrevocable attachment to her was the last thing he needed.

"Can we stop for the evening?" She asks.

He marvels at the gentleness in her voice. Before, in the beginning weeks she had been placed under their protection, she had huffed and whined until he relented and gave into her requests. The near death experiences and friendship they managed to forge over the passing weeks had humbled her some, and gave him enough insight to realize she was more than just an entitled Duchess. He was grateful they had found a way to be more civil to one another.

“As you wish."

They were nearing one of the many lakes that covered the planet anyway; a more than ideal place to set up camp for the night. Fresh water was something neither of them took for granted after their stay in the desert.

When they stop Satine wastes no dropping to the ground and leaning back against one of the trees that surrounded them. Foliage was another thing they both had become more appreciative of recently. The cover of trees, the simple ability to rest against something other than the hot sand, even the always lingering dampness of the soil.

He busies himself looking around around for wood dry enough to start a fire. It was by no means necessary for warmth, but it would be there luck that the temperature would drop with the arrival of night time, and it wouldn't hurt to have a source of light. The stars might have been bright on Corellia, but he would be hard pressed to consider it enough illumination for them.

His mind had been so preoccupied on setting up camp that he hadn't even noticed Satine's absence until a splash broke through the silence.

"Satine?"

He turns just in time to see her disappear below the surface of the water, and for a fleeting moment panic floods through him. What if she can't swim? What if something was in the water? And why is she in the water in the first place?

The relief he feels when she reappears is almost insurmountable.

"What are you doing?" He half yells, trying his best not to let the worry in his voice show.

She grants him an amused smirk, and something about the sparkle in her eyes sends a warmth trough his chest, despite how hard he tries not to let it do so.

"Cooling off, Obi-Wan." She says matter-of-factly, "You may not mind being covered in sweat and grime after trekking through the jungle all day, but I refuse to stew in filth."

He has to repress the urge to laugh. Roughing it may have humbled the young Duchess, but there was always going to be a part of her that was prim and proper.

"I'm a bit more preoccupied with your safety than worrying about my personal hygiene."

He glances to the pile of discarded clothes at the waters edge and is grateful for cover twilight provided him. If Satine could see the blush that colored his cheeks at the thought of her undress she would never let him live it down.

Satine scoffs and swims closer to shore, "As if you have to choose one or the other. Honestly, Obi-Wan."

She was right, of course. He hated the stickiness from the humidity and sweat that clung to his skin, but it hadn't been at the top of his priority list.

"Priorities, Duchess."

She laughs lightly and disappears under the water again.

The fire he was attempting to start was a lost cause, he decided. There was too much moisture for a flame to start. As much as he didn't like it, they were going to have to fair out without one for now.

So he settles for laying out his cloak in the driest area he could find and depositing their items on top of it. Qui-Gon didn't leave them with much, but the few items they did have were more than essential to their survival the next few days.

Obi-Wan decides that, so long as she is content in the water, he'll sit along the lakes edge and meditate. It had been too long since he had a chance to do so, and this was he could keep an eye on her.

​He settles at the waters edge, lightsaber and top layer of his clothing discarded beside him. The muggy air proved to be a challenge when taking a deep breath, but the sounds of the water and quiet of the night soothed him.

That was, until an unexpected splash of cold water hit him.

He sprang to his feet, the sudden chill catching him off guard. Below him, he found Satine smiling mischievously, still partially submerged in the water.

"Have you lost your mind?" He manages to sputter out.

She laughs, "Don't act like it didn't feel good. You know as well as I do the temperature is less than favorable."

He glares at her, but there's something to her smile that almost makes him forgive her. Rarely over the course of their time together has he seen anything resembling genuine happiness grace her. For all of the things that drive him crazy about her - and there were many, many things - there were just as many that made him adore her in ways a Jedi certainly should not. Seeing her smile was one of them.

“I was meditating."

"You do that quite enough."

"Its an integral part of connecting with the force."

Satine rolls her eyes, "Yes, so you've reminded me many times."

They had managed to cultivate something close to a friendship during their time on the run. Qui-Gon had insisted that he try and get along with her, both for the sake of their mission and for the sake of the Duchess.

He's sure neither Qui-Gin or himself could have anticipated the less sudden feelings that would blossom between him and the Duchess. Feelings that most definitely went against the code.

It scared him that part of him didn't care.

"Swimming in a random lake on an unfamiliar planet doesn't seem very becoming of a Duchess," He counters with a smirk, "Especially one so preoccupied with appearances."

"Neither is being on the run with a Jedi, but I've had to learn to adapt with what's given to me."

Her smiles falters for a moment, and suddenly he's filled with guilt. He could feel her emotional struggle through the force; how much anxiety and guilt she carries for leaving her planet in the midst of a civil war.

"I'm sorry," He says, "I didn't mean to imply anything."

The smile returns. It's softer, more understanding, but there all the same. He likes to see it on her.

"Forgiven," She stands, the shallow end of the water only reaching her waist, "Though I would appreciate your assistance."

She reaches out a hand towards him, all while he tries his best to ignore the way her wet underlayer of clothing clings to her. He hopes the cover of nightfall masks his blush.

"As you wish, your grace."

He takes her hand in his, fingers gripping her smaller ones tighter than what was strictly necessary, and just as he goes to pull her up onto dry land she roughly yanks him towards her.

He topples into the water, barely managing to catch his balance before he was submerged completely.

"Satine!"

She backs up quickly into deeper water, swimming away from him with a newfound sense of urgency. It doesn't stop the laughter though, or the wide smile she wore. It was the first time he's seen her that amused, and if he wasn't so distracted by his sudden frustration he would marvel at just how beautiful happiness looks on her.

"Have you gone mad?"

Satine laughs some more, "Oh please, it's just water Obi-Wan. You're doing little more than bathing and cooling off. Master Qui-Gon wouldn't be too pleased if I was left alone because you suffered heat stroke."

It was pointless to argue that the temperature wasn't near hot enough for heat stroke to actually overtake him and, though he would never admit it, the cold water did make him feel a great deal better.

"I'm not much use as a protector while unarmed and in the water." He decides to counter with, though he knows its a weak point. If the situation suddenly became dangerous he would just as well protect her here as he would on dry land.

Satine doesn't answer him and instead disappears once again below the surface of the water. The sky was clear, but not even the planets stars could provide him enough light to see where she had vanished too.

He had grown accustomed to the many facets of her over their time together. There were versions of her he learned how to handle; from a stubborn Satine to a solemn one. A mischievous Satine however was uncharted territory, and he didn't know whether to fear her or be amused by her.

There's only inches separated them when she ascends out from under the water, and he quickly settles on terrified.

He's utterly terrified, because never has another person looked so beautiful to him as she did in that moment. Lips parted slightly, wide eyes staring back into his.

"Satine..." It's a warning, but he knows deep down his heart isn't really in it.

"Obi-Wan."

She's kissing him then. Gently; a ghost of a touch that he almost isn't convinced is real. Her lips are cold from the water, breath warm against his skin.

Before he can think better of it, his hand finds hers under the water, his other sliding up the slope of her neck and coming to cup her cheek.

"We shouldn't be doing this." He whispers against her.

Satine pauses for a brief moment, "No we shouldn't."

He wonders what it says about them that neither make a move to stop.

It crosses his mind what Qui-Gon would say if he found them like this; pressed together in shoulder deep water, disregarding the promises both of them made to their people and to themselves.

Her hand slide up the back of his head and tangles into his hair, her fingers grasping his Padawan braid tightly between them.

"We should stop." Satine says before kissing him hard with a newfound sense of urgency.

"We should." He agrees, kissing her back with just as much force.

Her legs suddenly wrap around his waist and it renders him breathless. The code was cracking around him with every passing second, and yet, he couldn't bring himself to stop kissing her.

It dawns on him then; that he has fallen irrevocably in love with Satine Kryze.

[anime-life0]

@hajimekotaro05 you've got mail!! It took a long time but the boys from free! finally finished writing you their letters! They wanted to make sure that it got to you before your school started and they didn't rest til they were sure that it would! So, here they are! Hope I didn't disappoint. Enjoy! <3

PS while I was editing it, something went wrong with Tumblr and it kinda jumbled some of the words/paragraphs so sorry in advance if ever done of the stuff are confusing! 🙏

Hello my dearest ^^

How are you doing today? Eating well? Studying and giving your best still? I hope you are. I wouldn't want you to get sick or anything. You should promise me that you take care of yourself. Can you promise me that? Whenever I'm not there with you, whenever we aren't together, please take care of yourself. I know you can because I believe in you. I really love you and I know that you can do anything you put your mind into!

It's been a while since you've talked about it but I know that you're still struggling with a lot of problems that you can't seem to solve. I know the feeling, it's okay. I may not know exactly how you feel but, whatever you're feeling whether it's happiness, sadness, anger, confusion, or anything at all, you know that I'll always be here to let you know that you aren't alone. That's a promise!

Did you know that you remind me of a little kitten? Yeah. You're just like a little kitten. A kitten who's afraid of this world that you don't know if it'll accept you or not. I know you're vulnerable most times and I want to help you. Just like a kitten, I want to always snuggle and cuddle with you and just overall protect you. You're really cute and cuddly too so that's a plus for me.

I wish you could have more confidence in yourself though. If you could see what I can in you then you'd be surprised and amazed even! I really think you're amazing. So, trust me and be yourself so everyone can see how wonderful you are! You do trust me don't you?

It's okay to feel down sometimes and confused even but, you know that I'll always make sure that at the end of the day, you're happy and secure. I love you so much and I can't say that enough.. you're beautiful. Please don't forget that. And, never feel that you're a burden because, baby, you're my number one priority. You're more important to me than anything and anyone else. Now smile and be happy alright? I'm here for you. ( ◜‿◝ )♡

- Makoto

_____

Hey, what's up my lovely~!

How's it going? What're you up to these days? Say, I know I haven't exactly been the best boyfriend ever but, I'm still trying! Gotta stay positive for my one and only after all.

Hey boo? I just want you to know that no matter what anyone says about you or what you think about yourself, you're always gonna be number one in my book. You're always number one in my heart boo! My baby boo is awesome and really, I do believe that I'm the luckiest man in the world! Don't you think so too? I mean, what were the odds that the two of us would meet and that you would actually take a second of your time to actually get to know me? And the greatest miracle of all is that you actually liked me! I know I'm a bit lively sometimes and I might even come off as annoying but, who knew that you'd like me! It makes me so happy y'know. You make me so happy and I want to make you feel all the happiness that you give me too. It's only fair~

There are times that I know you feel like giving up and I know that it's hard. Some things get me down too and at times I just wanna run away from it all but, we can't even if we wanted to. We gotta work for our own selves. We gotta keep moving cuz if we stop, we'll have nothing left. Won't you keep moving for me?

The hard times won't just magically fade away in an instant no matter how much we want it to but even so, I'm here to be with you through all those times. If you're scared, I can be brave for you! If you're sad, I can infect you with joy! And if you're insecure and unsure of yourself, I'll be there to tell you how much you make my world shine. You always seem to make me smile so I want to make sure that you know that you're special and all. Believe me, you really are. I'd never say something I don't mean so, just trust me when I say that you're super special and that you have an awesome personality! You're also extremely pretty, did you know? Yeah, I think about it all the time, how pretty you are. You're smile, your laugh, the way you sneeze. It's funny and cute at the same time! You're pretty and amazing inside and out. If someone says otherwise then screw them, they don't know what they're talking about, hmp. It's too bad that they won't see how wonderful you are.

I love you, my precious baby boo. You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, I mean it and it's no exaggeration.

Oh, and along with this letter you will find lots of love and hugs and kisses too so that you will feel my love as you read this<3 I love you, my adorable baby!

- Natsuya

_____

Well if it isn't the most wonderful person in the world... How is my one and only lover doing this fine day?

Do you have anything special planned for today?? Anything I should know about? Y'know, as your boyfriend? Haha! Alright, alright, enough with the teasing~ how are you? I'd love to hear about your day and everything! Lay it all on me! Tell me everything that's on your mind! I don't care if it's something you're insecure about, cuz I know that you struggle with that a lot, or something good that happened, I'll listen to it all!

Speaking of insecurities though, has it gotten better or worse? Your insecurities, I mean. It sucks to have those problems y'know, that's why I'm on a lifelong mission! A mission to eradicate all insecurities and self doubt that my lovely darling has! Whether they're doubts about your appearance, abilities, skills, personality, or whatever! I'll make sure that you won't ever have to worry about it again! Y'know why? It's cuz you deserve a break. Yeah. You deserve a break from all these thoughts that cloud your mind and put you down. Let me handle it, cuz you deserve to rest. I'll handle it from now on okay? I'll make sure that you won't ever have to worry about anything again! That's what I'm here for! And I'll always be here as long as I live! Will that make you less anxious, my one and only? I hope I can make you feel at least a little better.

I know there are things that even a positive attitude won't change but there's no way I'm giving up. And you shouldn't too. You need to get up and start believing in yourself! You've got all that it takes to survive in this world so all you really have to do is overcome that fear of yours and take a leap of faith~! Take a leap of faith with me! Let's be brave together and fight side by side everything that comes our way! To be honest, that sounds pretty amazing. Facing this world alongside you would be absolutely awesome! Don't you think?

Hey, I'm always gonna be here okay? Trust me! Since when have I failed you? Never, right? So what makes you think that I'd fail you now? Promise me that you'll try your very hardest and always, always keep that pretty little head in an optimistic mindset, alright? That's what I do to keep going even though things don't go my way~ life's not gonna wait for you, neither is it gonna change the way you want it to when you want it to. So don't just wait for an opportunity or when you're ready. You gotta make your own opportunities and go at every turning moment you can! Gotta live life to the fullest, am I right?

I got your back so don't look back. I'll always be here so just focus on what's ahead! We can get through this together! And never mind all the haters and vibe killers, okay? Let them be. It's not like they have a cool boyfriend like me on their side anyway, so what are you worrying for? Nothing! So make sure you never give up and do your best all the time! I love you!!

- Asahi

_____

This letter is brought to you by the most loving and caring boyfriend in the whole entire universe.

Haha, hey my cutie! I miss you! I just wanna run to wherever you are right now and tackle you into a bear hug! I don't think I can help myself y'know? But anyways, how's it going~? Anything good happened lately? My siblings are nagging me to get you to come over and visit y'know. Would it be too much to ask if you could come over for us? Pretty please? Puppy dog eyes and pouty lips please??

Just kidding, I'd never force you to do something that you don't want to or can't do. And besides, I don't want my siblings to be all over you again. I love them but, boundaries are boundaries. You're mine and I don't wanna share! It's all because you're too cute darn it! I mean, I'm not complaining but, since you're too cute for this world then I always have to keep an eye out for anyone making you feel uncomfortable or frankly, being weirdo jerks to you who just to try to make you insecure about yourself and stuff.

Yeah, I know. People make you insecure about yourself right? You do know that they're only doing that cuz they see how cute and perfect you are that they're afraid that if you were too confident, you'd outshine them right? It's kinda obvious and sometimes I pity them for being so horrible. But then I remember that they were mean to you so I loathe them all anyway. I mean, how could they just mess with my cutesie! They're not allowed to!

Things like that happen though. I know they're unavoidable sometimes but darn. I just can't sit still when I know that you're feeling insecure about yourself. I just wanna comfort you and make sure that you're okay. I just get this urge to hold you, y'know?

I want you to feel safe. I want you to know that I'll always be there for you no matter what. And I want to make everything better. I don't wanna sound like a brat but I really want them all. I want you. I need you. And that isn't gonna change.

I love you and I want you to always be happy. I want you to enjoy being you and feeling comfortable in your own skin. Because you're amazing. You really are! Believe me, I know a cutie when I see one! But that's besides the point! I love you so much and I'll always be here to tell you that and make you feel all the love that I feel towards you. Count on it! And don't you worry your pretty little head cuz I've got you covered! I'm your personal motivation/optimism/happiness boy! I'll never get tired and I'll never ever stop giving you all the happiness and love that you need. I love you, forever and ever and ever!

- Seijuro

_____

Hello my sweet princess,

It's Kisumi here, how are you? I was wondering if you were doing good and I don't know to be honest why I suddenly decided to write you this letter. I mean, I'd love to write to you all the time but don't feel pressured to write back okay? You need to rest every once in a while you know?

Anyway, I hope that you're taking care of yourself. I really miss you and I wish that we can be together right now. Do you miss me too? I hope you aren't losing feelings for me while we're not together haha. You'd tell me if you didn't love me anymore right?

That's besides the point though, I wasn't writing this letter because I was having doubts about our relationship, I'm writing to ask if you were doing fine. I don't want to seem nosy and all but what have you been up to lately? Tell me everything that's on your mind, I wanna just listen to you ramble on and on about anything. It's relaxing and you're super adorable when you do.

Oh, by the way, have your insecurities been a problem lately? I know that you still struggle with them despite the many times I tell you that they're just thoughts. That's why I was asking to check up on you. Y'know? To make sure that you're okay and everything.

You've struggled and fought every single time the anxiety and insecurities hit you. Let me just say that I'm proud of you. Yup! I'm proud of you, my pretty princess! You are an absolute queen for handling all those problems like a total boss! But, as much as you're used to handling everything on your own, I don't want you to. I'm here for you still okay? Always by your side is what I always say right? I still mean that and it isn't gonna change.

I'll hold you forever in my arms if that's what it would take for you to smile. I'd even cuddle with you and get all your favorite comfort foods too. Wouldn't that make you happy? I'd give anything to see your smile, really.

You do your best and keep on going despite all the negatives that come your way. You may or may not want to but regardless, you still do. And I want to say that you're amazing. I really think that you're super cool considering you've come this far. You can go even farther right? I believe in you.

I love you so much, and I want you to see how precious and wonderful you are. You're extraordinary and I think you should be proud of that. Let's meet soon okay? I'll take you out on an expense free date so you can unwind and relax. Just the two of us. Doesn't that sound fun?

- Kisumi

_____

Hello darling,

Heard you've been having a rough time lately, is everything alright? Are you okay? Do you need anything? Can I do anything to help? I really worry about you a lot y'know. I always wonder if you're having a hard time or struggling with problems that you try to conceal. I wish you'd open up more and have more confidence in yourself. There's no reason why you shouldn't be. You're stunning and every little thing about you makes my heart race.

I love you. I don't tell you this enough but please always know that I do. I care about you deeply and I would do anything for you. I want you to be happy. You're an amazing person that even saw the best in me. And for that I am eternally grateful. Now let me return the favor and make you feel like the queen you are. You can do anything you want to. I know you can. Believe in yourself because I do, darling.

Your problems are real, they're difficult sometimes, I know. But don't ever think of giving up. Never stop trying to be better. You're beautiful. Don't let anyone or anything make you feel like you aren't. I know you more than anyone could ever. And that's enough for me to claim that you're someone that I'm proud to call mine. My one and only lover.

I never thought that I'd fall for someone but you changed it all. It's because you're adorable. And because your personality shines like the sun that brightens up even the darkest days. I am so lucky to have you.

No one in the world could ever compare to you. You're unique and I love that about you. Pleas don't let his world and your insecurities change you one bit. I love and accept you just the way you are. Especially when you smile. Your smile changes everything for me. It makes me happy. And no matter what you say, I still think that it's really cute how your lips curl up when you do. The sparkle in your eyes also makes my heart flutter every single time. You have such an effect on me and I'm glad that it's you that I've fallen for.

I wish you would see how I could see you. Every little thing that you're insecure of are things that I absolutely love about you. You overthink too much y'know. But I guess you can't really help it, can you? I know that being in you is hard and I get it. The thoughts just invade your mind and take over you. So I'm here to be your safe space. I'm here to comfort you and tell you everything is gonna be alright. I'm here to make sure that it'll be all okay in the end of every day. You're worth it and I will never get tired of telling you how important you are to me. I won't ever stop being here to make sure that you won't give up. I'll make sure that you're always loved and cared for. You need and deserve it after all.

I love you, darling. Please always know that you're enough. More than enough, even. And you will always be perfect to me.

- Sousuke

_____

Hi baby,

First off, I know you're struggling with a lot right now and I get that. I know a lot has been happening lately and it's all just gushing at you all at once, right? I know the feeling. It's okay to feel upset when things like these happen. You just gotta hold on and work your absolute hardest to get to where you wanna be! I can help you with anything y'know. I'm always gonna be here.

Times like these are difficult. I've been through a lot of difficult times myself, you know. Sometimes I look back on those times and remember all the pain and suffering I've went through. But even if I could go back in time and change it, I wouldn't. Because those times were what made me become who I am today. Those times, those struggles, made me stronger. And they'll make you stronger too. These experiences will only push you to become better. And it's not like you'll break, right? You're like, the strongest person I know!

You know, I think that you're amazing. Really. You're such an amazing person and honestly, no one could ever compare. You may think that you aren't so great and all but I see it. You've got all that it takes to be the best! And I'm not afraid to claim that you're gonna go places, meet lots of awesome people who accept and love you, and become who you want to be. I'm sure that some day you will. That's a fact.

Just these words won't make everything better, I know that, baby. But I'm still gonna try and make you feel just a little bit happier. I want to be your happiness just like you're mine. You're my everything and I'd hate to see you down or upset about something. That's why I always want to be with you. I want to be with you to make sure that you're always the best you can be and that you're always comfortable in your own skin! Why shouldn't you be? Being you is like, anyone's, if not everyone's, dream. They just don't know it.

Please, always know that you're loved and that you are important. If no one thinks you're important then they've got another thing coming cuz you're my number one and absolute priority! I'd cross oceans for you just to see your smile! I'd really do it if I had to! So, give me a smile and stay strong, baby! I love you.

- Rin

[jrumbots-sandals]

Okay, so I wrote a HC fanfic, because why tf not. The idea wouldn't leave my head, so now you get to deal with it.

Based on @mayflowers07’s "I can be the one you call" series. In that series, there is an established code word on the Hermitcraft server for when a prank goes too far or when a hermit is in danger: "blue creeper." When a player says this phrase, everything stops to help the hermit in need. Please go read their series--it's amazing! The premise of this fic comes from that series as well, so I take no credit for the idea, just the execution!

This is my first HC fic ever, so there's probably a lot of errors when it comes to canon. Impulse and Tango are probably OOC. Timeline is all over the place because 1. I've been watching a lot of hermits, and 2. I'm watching everything out of order. Let me know your thoughts if you like! I mostly wrote this for me, but I wanted to share it anyway.

Anyway, here goes.

The Sleep Prank

WC: 3540

Bdubs was tired. It wasn't uncommon; he was, after all, the sleep master. He had a natural ability to fall asleep as soon as the sun began to set.

Today, however, was different. Where there was usually the pleasant sleepy feeling that accompanied the end of each day, today there was frustrated exhaustion. All because of Tango and Impulse's stupid prank.

It had been going on for three days now. The prank was funny at first— a TNT explosion rigged to blow when Bdubs went to hit his bed. The first time it had happened, he had just finished clearing out most of a nearby sand biome, grabbing a large quantity for the concrete shop. At 10 pm precisely, he took out his trusty bed he travelled with, he set it on the ground and prepared for his nightly shreep sleep. When it happened, he had shrieked loudly and fallen off the bed, causing his fellow Boomers, who were hiding behind a nearby dune, to cry with laughter.

"Very FUNNY!!!!!" he had yelled in his trademark over-exaggerated voice. "Mess with ol' Bdubs while he's tryin' to sleep. You think that's FUNNY, don't you?!"

"Yes, actually," cackled Tango. "It's hilarious. Oh, your FACE…"

The laughter went on for several minutes, Bdubs pretending to be angry while the other two collapsed on each other in laughter. But Bdubs had taken the prank good-naturedly, and soon enough the other two left and he was alone again. Slightly shaken up, he picked up his things and headed to his base, ready to actually get some sleep.

The second time was still funny. Impulse and Tango had trapped his home beds to do the same thing, which didn't hurt Bdubs or any of his things, but did make him jump out of his skin. The two had clearly been expecting this, because soon after, his communicator buzzed:

ImpulseSV: TANGO IT WORKED

TangoTek: HAHAHHAHA YESSSS

TangoTek: Get some nice sleep Bdubs? >:)

Glaring at the offensive messages, he typed back:

BdoubleO100: NO >:(

BdoubleO100: YOU FOOLS SCARED ME SO BAD

BdoubleO100: You guys are the WORST

BdoubleO100: Trapping my BEAUTIFUL HOME

Bdoubleo100: I'll get you for that

Bdubs laughed as he typed out his mock rage. But it was all in good fun, both Bdubs and the Boomers knew.

Now slightly wary of the many beds he had around his base, Bdubs got up from the current bed, no real goal in mind besides getting away from the beds for a little while. It was 10:32 now. Usually, he would already be asleep, ready to skip the night and start on more building projects in the morning. Nursing a slight headache, he picked up a book from one of his many decorative bookcases and sat down away from any beds to read.

20 minutes later, eyes heavy from reading and body tired from the day, he cautiously hit a bed for the third time. Nothing happened. He sighed in relief, already starting to fade into sleep.

And then it happened again. An explosion of TNT, to his right.

"AAAAAGH!!" he screamed, again startled by the prank. This time, he heard a dispenser fire, and suddenly he had a piece of paper in his hand:

GOTCHA!!!!!! — your fellow boomers :)

With a stab of annoyance, he crumpled up the paper and huffed downstairs. Grabbing some rockets and a few blocks of wool, Bdubs took off into the night, heading...somewhere. He didn't know where he was going, besides away, away from his base and the stupid bed prank.

He touched down a few hundred blocks away from his base, finding a decently-sized patch of grass sheltered from the outside by the overhang of a small cliff. He spread out the wool and placed a few torches for safety. Without a true bed, the game's code wouldn't let him instantly sleep and skip the night like usual, but he could still sleep the old-fashioned way. Though not as substantial in length or quality, he would still get some rest, ready in the morning to dismantle all the stupid bed traps around his base and then get some real work done.

Sighing quietly, he laid down, closing his eyes and falling into an uneasy rest. It only lasted half an hour or so, just long enough for Tango and Impulse to find him and set off some more TNT. He woke up in a panic at the thunderous sound, disoriented.

"WHAT THE FU-"

He was interrupted by his two tormentors howling with laughter, peeking out from behind a tree not far from his sleeping spot.

"Sup Bdubs! Get some good sleep?" Tango called, smugly.

Impulse was doubled over beside him, absolutely cackling. "Yeah, you thought you could run away huh? Oh Bdubs…"

"Oh veRY FUNNY!" he tried, but his voice and face betrayed his tiredness and annoyance.

"Ha, ha, yes hilarious, now will you leave me alone?"

Tango gave him a cruel smirk. "Well why don't you try to sleep again and find out?"

His heart sank, seeing how invested the two were in this prank. They really weren't going to let him sleep.

"Please?" It was a pitiful request, free of any of the usual amusing inflection in his voice. Tango and Impulse looked at each other, having a silent conversation. Finally, Impulse spoke.

"Okay, if you can make it to tomorrow without sleeping, we'll let you off the hook. We just wanted to see how long you could go," he said, laughing.

"Yeah, Bdubs, it'll be a great challenge for you! See you in the morning then?" asked Tango.

Bdubs considered their offer. What choice did he have? He could make it through one night.

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll just...read or something."

The Boomers smiled.

"We believe in you!"

"Bye Bdubs!"

They flew off into the night, leaving him to face the rest of the long night alone.

***

It was painful, but Bdubs made it through.

Grabbing his things, he took off back toward his base, thinking about the day ahead. He had some farming to do, a small shack to finish detailing, and the concrete shop to restock. Not to mention finding all the Boomer traps in his house. Then he would go to bed early and be done.

The day passed uneventfully, with no bed-related explosions, thankfully. Bdubs dug out all the blocks around the many beds around his houses, ripping out the offensive redstone wiring whenever he found some. He pocketed the TNT. It served Impulse and Tango right.

Bdubs really didn't do well without at least 8 hours of sleep. It was just how he operated. A full night of quality sleep was essential to keeping up with all the building work on the server and keeping up his happy, boisterous personality. The effects of no sleep were already wearing on him. He had been grumpy and distracted all day, trying to keep his eyes open long enough to not fall asleep on his feet. While working at the concrete shop earlier, he had dropped a block of the stuff on his foot. Swearing loudly and hopping on one foot, he slammed the door and left the building, only to find someone he really didn't want to see: Impulse.

"Hello, Impulse," said Bdubs stiffly.

"Bdubs! Get some good sleep? Oh wait!" Impulse chortled.

He restrained himself from telling Impulse just exactly what he thought of their stupid prank and no sleep challenge (some of the younger hermits were nearby, after all). Instead, he forced out a laugh and put on an overexaggerated expression of indignance.

"You and Tango, I can't believe you would mess with my sleep. Do you KNOW how hard that was? I'm-I'm gonna fall over or something!" He yawned dramatically, pretending to start falling.

Bad idea. He lost his balance for real and fell, slamming into the ground. Impulse just laughed and helped him up, unaware that he wasn't joking.

"Boomers gotta boom, Bdubs."

"Fair enough. Imma get you back though. So you better WATCH OUT!" Bdubs grinned mischievously as Impulse sprinted away in mock fear.

Once he was out of sight, Bdubs slumped over, rubbing his hip where he had fallen. This prank was really starting to take a toll on him.

The rest of the day passed fine, but Bdubs was on edge, finding himself becoming annoyed at little things— the sound of blocks scraping against each other in his inventory, the lowing of animals around the village, the rockets being fired by a passing hermit. He brushed it off, knowing he just needed sleep.

That night, he looked cautiously at his bed. Even though he had checked underneath it earlier and found nothing, the Boomers were some of the smartest redstone workers on the whole server; they could definitely hide traps Bdubs would never find. And now that they knew that disrupting his sleep would get him so riled up, they were bound to do it again, even if he had technically completed their challenge.

Sighing, he flew back to the grass patch from the night before, this time with more wool. Settling down, he tried to fall asleep and realized he couldn't. Despite being bone-tired from last night and a long day today, sleep wouldn't come. A slight panic came over him. He had never not been able to fall asleep before. Was it stress? Anxiety? Both, probably, he thought.

Sighing, he propped himself up against a nearby wall and slapped on his communicator, needing a distraction. He scrolled through the day's messages, laughing at some:

Grian: Guys mumbos AFK again

Grian: What should I do to him

Iskall85: push him in a hole and then cover his floors with ice lol

Xisumavoid: New potion building is open! Free for all my hermits :)

Stressmonster101: Are u tryin' t put me outta business?

Stressmonster101: ill get u for that X, i will

Smiling at his friends' antics, Bdubs moved to get back into bed. But he was still uneasy— something felt off. Scowling at the thought of being woken up by another explosion, he turned over and closed his eyes, trying his hardest to sleep.

Except his paranoia had been for good reason.

Because moments later, TNT went off, startling Bdubs awake. Well, not awake. He never really got to sleep, but he was getting close, and now the goddamn TNT was back.

Groaning in frustration and cursing under his breath, he sat up to look for the victory message he had come to expect. Sure enough:

ImpulseSV: WE GOT HIM AGAIN BOYS

ImpulseSV: aGAIN AAGSAJH

TangoTek: Take notes, ladies and gentlemen

ImpulseSV: Bdubs weve been waiting like an HOUR for you

TangoTek: WORTH IT

TangoTek: lol

Bdubs played along, sending a funny message back, but he was privately glad it was over the communicator and not in real life. He was pretty sure he would have straight up punched the two in the face if they had been nearby. He had done the challenge. It had been over 24 hours since he had slept. Couldn't they leave him the hell alone already?

He thought about trying to be serious with him and ask them, point-blank, to stop. Surely they would see how much they had put their friend through and end it. They weren't that cruel. Right?

Huffing in frustration, he packed up everything he had brought and trudged back to his base. If he was going to get pranked again, he may as well be comfortable at home.

Once he reached home, he threw his things down unceremoniously. Dammit. He should really be sleeping by now. Instead, he tapped his foot anxiously, trying to figure out what to do. He really didn't want to risk another bed-splosion.

He went an hour or so wandering around his base, organizing things and doing odd jobs here and there, and by then it was 11:23. But Bdubs couldn't get himself to try the bed, no matter how much his tired body screamed at him to. He wouldn't do it, not when he knew he would probably just be woken up again. So he kept finding things to do. 11:30 turned to 12 am, turned into 2:30, turned into 5:00 am, and suddenly it was light outside.

Oh. That was bad. He hadn't slept in two nights.

Closing his eyes where he stood, he swayed slightly as he clenched his jaw. Two nights. Goddammit. He realized with horror that he could feel tears beading up in his eyes. This wasn't sustainable.

He took a deep, centering breath and thought about everything he had to get through to finish this never ending day. Groaning at the thought of getting through another day, he made a decision. He would just have to talk to Impulse and Tango. This wasn't happening anymore after today.

***

So today, he was tired. And crabby. He had been awake for over 80 hours, and Bdubs was in a mood and a half because of it. He snapped at Scar during a mayoral meeting, shoulder-checked Mumbo "on accident" while passing him in the shopping district, and kicked down a particularly ugly flower in front of the Barge. He looked terrible, too, with dark bags under his eyes, uncombed hair, and wrinkled clothes he hadn't taken off in two days.

Several hermits passing through the shopping district gave him worried, questioning looks, making him even angrier. He tried to reason with Ren, who saw him and stopped to say hello, and tell him he was perfectly fine, thank you very much, but his argument was weakened by the way he tripped and nearly faceplanted over a small bump in the road.

"You really don't look good, my dude, you need to take a break or something," laughed Ren, lending him a hand to pull himself and looking at him with a mixture of amusement and concern.

"Well I'm fine, so leave me the hell alone," he snarled in response. The other man had just raised his eyebrows and walked away.

After, he decided to go to his concrete shop to calm down and try to get away from everyone. He pulled out a spare bed and looked at it longingly. Maybe the prank was truly over now? It had been a bad day, and he was so tired…a nap wouldn't hurt.

Lying down gratefully in the comfy bed, (had it always been this comfortable? surely not) he felt the familiar pull of sleep. Just as he was about to doze off, it happened again.

The godforsaken TNT went off.

Bdubs lost it.

"GODDAMMIT TANGO AND IMPULSE YOU SONS OF-"

He was interrupted by laughter from the very two he had just cursed at. They emerged from a door in the wall sneakily hidden by pistons, cackling and falling over each other.

"Oh my God, he actually fell for it-"

"I can't believe it worked-"

"No, Impulse, cause he's so predictable-"

Bdubs closed his eyes, ignoring the way it made the world spin around him, just trying to block out the incessant, annoying laughter filling his ears. He could do this, he just needed to put on a smile and pretend it was all funny-

"He can't go ONE NIGHT without a bed, the precious baby boy," wheezed Impulse.

"Widdle Bdubs is scawed of the dawk, isn't he?" mocked Tango.

He tried to block it out. It's funny, it really is, it's just a prank. Chill out, Bdubs.

"What would we do without him protecting us from all the scaaawy mobbies?"

Tears welled up in his eyes for the second time that day. He was actually afraid of the dark, deathly afraid. It wasn't just a joke to him, they didn't understand...

"Oh, I'm Bdubs, I have to sleep in a bed otherwise i'll get SCARED-"

"SHUT UP!" roared Bdubs. "SHUT UP GODDAMMIT THIS ISN'T FUNNY-"

"Oh but it IS, Bdubs," Tango wheezed, "Cause you fell for it like FIVE TIMES AHAHA-"

He couldn't do this.

"BLUE CREEPER!" he finally yelled, desperate to stop their taunts, to stop everything about the awful prank. The laughter of the other two men died down, finally quelled by the use of the code word.

"Oh shit, Bdubs, are you good?" asked Impulse.

"Yeah, man, sorry, that was the last one we set up," said Tango, shrinking back a bit.

Bdubs hated that they were so suddenly worried about him. As if they hadn't just been making fun of something very important to him, as if this was all a joke. It wasn't funny. They knew he needed sleep and that he was afraid of the dark, of the mobs-

"Bdubs? Buddy? Hey, are you alright, what's wrong?"

But he wasn't paying attention to them. Breathing heavily, he pushed past them, running somewhere, anywhere but here with the other two. He found a corner and pressed himself between the two walls, hiding there for a moment, before reaching for his communicator.

BdoubleO100 whispers to Xisumavoid: blue creeper please come please need help i cantt do it anymore

Tango and Impulse found him there, and they approached him like he was a scared animal, hands raised and eyes wide. Bdubs just hid from them, hoping that-

Teleported Xisumavoid to BdoubleO100.

Thank God, he thought, as he saw the familiar yellow armor. Because suddenly the admin was there, looking at Bdubs with deep worry and care.

"What's happened?" Xisuma asked gently, tipping Bdubs' face up to meet his eyes under the visor. He jerked away, trying to hide his face and his tears. Xisuma instead posed the question to Impulse and Tango, who were looking guilty as hell.

"We sorta played a prank on him…" Impulse said sheepishly.

"Yeah," Tango added, "we just thought it would be funny-"

"To do what?" the admin cut him off sternly.

"...To make TNT explode every time he tried to sleep."

Xisuma glanced back at Bdubs with worry in his eyes. "Why would you do that? You know how he feels about the night!"

At the mention of his fear, a sob escaped him. He slumped to the floor, exhausted. He was so tired, so angry, so embarrassed. He looked back at X, sending a plea with his eyes.

"Please, 'suma, I just...just wanna sleep."

"I know, my friend."

Xisuma left the builder on the floor and stood up to face the pranksters.

"I expect you two to take down everything you set up to explode. Then I expect you to apologize to your friend once he gets some real rest. You took it way too far." He made sure to look both of them in the eye through the tinted visor.

The other two Boomers expressed their agreement and walked out, clearly embarrassed.

An ugly part of Bdubs' mind said good, they should be embarrassed. But he could barely find the energy to be mad anymore. He just wanted to sleep.

Xisuma turned back to him and helped him off the ground. Bdubs all but collapsed into the admin, finally letting some of the tension in his body dissipate. Xisuma shifted to support his mostly dead weight, chuckling softly and giving him a gentle hug.

"Sorry...couldn't take it anymore...goddamn TNT... bullshit," he mumbled.

"Hey, it's quite alright. Let's find you a bed somewhere in my base. I'll patch the code so you can sleep in an actual bed during the daytime. Does that sound okay?"

Bdubs half-sobbed, half-laughed into Xisuma's shoulder. "Yes please. It's… been… long few days."

Teleported Bdoubleo100 to -487.00, 45.00, 1,256.00

Teleported Xisumavoid to -487.00, 45.00, 1,256.00

Once they both successfully reached Xisuma's base, the admin pulled out a bed and set it down in a small building that definitely wasn't trapped. Seeing Bdubs looking at it nervously, Xisuma dug out the blocks underneath, showing no redstone trickery. At last, Bdubs let himself fall into the bed, eyes sliding shut instantly, his body finally free of the tension of the past three days.

Xisuma gently laid a blanket over the man, ruffling his hair fondly and smiling when he moved his head to get closer to the touch. Bdubs mumbled something, trying to thank X, but it was incoherent, his brain too tired to form actual words. The last thing he heard before drifting off was...

"Goodnight, Bdubs."

[whump-town]

You Dance With Tears In Your Eyes

Summary: a college AU set up in the late 80s/early 90s with football star and quarterback Derek Morgan and his secret boyfriend Hotch-- it's not a happy story but I don't think I really have to warn you guys about that anymore

Also, a little based on a story my grandmother told me about my great uncle and his partner. Never met my great uncle but everyone says I'm a lot like him, I think they just mean gay but don't know how to say it

Warnings: homophobia, violence, racism *I mean it when I say homophobia*

Pairing: Derek Morgan/Aaron Hotchner

@yourlocalheartbreaker

The title is from Frank Ocean's song Self Control

Now and then you miss it, sounds make you cry Some nights you dance with tears in your eyes I came to visit, 'cause you see me like a UFO That's like never, 'cause I made you use your self-control And you made me lose my self-control, my self-control

---------------------

Living shouldn’t be reduced down to what it is, the bare bones of things that don’t even make Derek Morgan who he is. He lives by them anyways, stupid rules. Social norms, Aaron always clarifies because even when those silly rules drown them Aaron needs to be concise. Social norms dictate every inch of life and for once Derek wishes he were the type of person who could be given that inch and take a mile. They’re the reason he can’t hold his boyfriend’s hand in public. Why he can’t kiss Aaron on New Years’ and why he is reduced down to loving his roommate. Why, at this rate, he’ll never marry or adopt children, or why he could lose any career he goes into because some nosy asshole finds out his partner isn’t a woman. And, yes, he knows there are anti-discriminatory laws but he’s a black gay man. The world is stacked against him.

It makes him so angry. He’s blinded by the irrational of it all, why nothing can just be simple for them. Aaron tries to comfort him but Derek’s anger scares him, he doesn’t understand it. Aaron has long lost the ability to decipher the complexity of human emotions. Still flinches at loud noises like he’s expecting each bump to be accompanied by the pain that laced his childhood and has to ask, around every turn, if Derek’s angry with him. He can’t tell. Everything looks like anger. With Derek, it frequently is. They cope in very different ways, Aaron chooses nothing. Shutting down all his emotions until he cracks and that’s worse. It’s worse than Derek’s anger. That doesn’t mean Derek doesn’t hate the way he quakes with fury. If not because it feels childish to be blinded by emotions then because it scares Aaron.

There are a million other things, at twenty there always is. It’s his philosophy class with all this bullshit reading he doesn’t understand. He has to ask Aaron for help and Aaron has to ask him for help with things too but it makes Derek feel stupid. It’s philosophy, it can’t be that hard. That’s the same way Aaron feels about calculus. There’s maintaining rent and going grocery shopping and football (games, practice, gym, and training).

College had been a learning curve. Getting up at four in the morning to go to the gym for football had been the hardest thing in the world without his mother flicking his bedroom lights on and off or Desiréecoming in to smack him in the face with a pillow. There’s no one in the entire world in charge of getting him out of his bed other than him and, in his freshman year, while he had thought sleeping on that impossibly hard mattress would leave much to be desired, and it did, he found himself glued to his every morning. Not wanting to leave the safety of its flimsy comfort.

Sharing an apartment worked wonders, having a workaholic boyfriend was really the best trick. An unexpected answer to his problems but, also, a very cute one. He managed to add one person to the list of people that cared about where he was, that made sure he got up in time to make it to the gym and practice, and asked if he had a bad day or rub at his sore muscles.

Derek rolls over in bed, not as surprised as he should be to find the other half empty. “Aaron?” He still searches, runs his hand over the sheets as if he doesn’t know that if Aaron were in the bed he’d be right there. Hogging the bed and the blankets, pressed up against Derek’s back snoring like there’s no tomorrow. “Aaron?” Derek sits up and squints, grimaces at the light trailing in from the open door.

Aaron’s hunched over the beginnings of an essay, pen ink smeared across his left palm and steadily chugging along. He can write a full essay in the span of a night, five hours for about 3,000 words but if it’s a short synopsis sort of thing then about an hour. Despite this astonishing gift, Aaron still makes himself write all his essays weeks in advance and spends days upon days proofreading and combing through them for the tiniest mistakes. He’s a straight-A student so he’s doing something right but Derek gets mostly As too with far less hastily. Aaron is just extra.

Derek steps up to the desk, doesn’t make a sound as he leans up against the side of the chair. He wraps an around Aaron’s shoulders, leans down to kiss his head. “It’s two,” Derek informs him, “come to bed. Please?” Derek’s exhausted. He feels the regret of being pulled from his warm bed. Each second feels like twenty minutes, the world sluggish and too cold. He leans closer to Aaron, wrapping himself around him. “You always smell so good,” Derek whispers. He presses his face into Aaron’s hair, catching the mix of scents.

“Bakery,” Aaron grunts. His answer as simple and concise as he always is but even more so now that he’s tired. Aaron had worked an on-campus job for the entirety of their freshman year but after he got a scholarship that would roll over each year after that (so long as he kept a certain GPA) he started at a bakery down the street from their apartment. Derek had always liked the way Aaron smelled, gently masculine in a way only Aaron could ever be, and it had mixed with the scents of softly, perfectly made baked goods he works around all day. Cookies and cakes. He’s picked up a few tricks, Aaron can make moist cakes and perfectly round cookies but his bread… It’s the best food Derek has ever eaten.

The first time Aaron made bread Derek got down on one knee and confessed “Aaron Hotchner if I could marry you I’d take you to the damn chapel right now”. To which he was lovingly pushed and told to “shut up” but fresh-baked bread (even if Aaron had taken a single bite and concluded he hadn’t ratioed the sugar right) is heavenly. He’s gotten much better since and it’s really hot when he’s standing there in one of his dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up taking his stress out on the dough.

And he can’t tell anyone. Can’t boast about his hot ass boyfriend or the bread he makes from scratch.

Derek crouches down by the chair, knows he’s winning when Aaron breaks from his work just enough to glance at him out of the corner of his eye. “Can’t this wait just a little bit?” he asks. “I want to sleep with my boyfriend and he’s out here writing an essay that isn’t due tomorrow and likely isn’t due for the next month.” Derek reaches up, strokes a strand of hair back behind Aaron’s ear. His fingers graze an open wound and Aaron flinches away, the pain unexpected.

The bare bones of Aaron Hotchner are the along the same in principle to Dereks-- all things that he cannot change. Even as he stands as tall as Derek, their bodies are not the same. Derek is lean from years of football, his arms stretch his shirts. He looks like an athlete, has the benefit of the doubt whenever he’s around men. His teammates walk naked in front of him, no one for even a second thinks anything of it. No one suspects him of the atrocities he commits within his apartment.

Aaron doesn’t have any of that. His hair is a little too long, hangs down in his face when he’s studying or reading. Nothing about him is hulk-ish, he’s delicate with his movements and while it had been something that Derek was immediately drawn to it also draws other’s attention. Bad attention.

The same boys that play around with Derek, snapping towels at him while he walks, terrorize Aaron.

Derek wishes there was something he could do because if this were anyone else- if Aaron were a girl- he could. It wouldn’t be dangerous, not the sort of thing that would cost him his football scholarship or get him stabbed and left to bleed out in an alley or beat within an inch of his life. He would have to out himself to protect Aaron, to stand in front of his teammates that coach keeps calling his family and tell them to keep their fucking hands off his boyfriend. No. No, because something like that would be death. It would be worse than what’s already happening. And Aaron won’t allow it.

All Derek can do now is await the next attack, leave Aaron someplace to come home to. Give him a place to be, without burden, without hesitation. It’s not enough. They’ll kill him. Derek knows they will and it’ll be fun for them, only a matter of time.

“Come to bed with me,” Derek asks one more time. He doesn’t want to sound entirely needy but he really doesn’t want to go to bed without Aaron. The bed is lonely.

With a sigh, Aaron nods and Derek stands up, moves out of the way so Aaron can throw pens in his textbooks to mark his place. He steps away, from the desks, yawning as he makes lazy lurches forward towards their bedroom. “Turn the damn--” Derek rolls his eyes and reaches over and turns off Aaron’s desk lamp.

He passes Aaron in the doorway, places his hand on his hip, and reminds him of their objective. “Bed,” he mumbles and Aaron nods, jerking back to life as he steps further into the bedroom.

Derek lays down on the bed, crawls over to his side, and gets comfortable while he watches Aaron lazily strip down to his underwear. He gets caught in his head again for a moment, standing there just blankly staring at the dresser. Trying to figure out if he should put on pajamas or not. Derek calls his name and opens his arms. “Come here, “ he says and Aaron smiles. Sheepishly he comes, blushing as he crawls into the bed and where Derek instructs him. Humming, pleased, when Derek brings the blankets up over them. His eyes are already closed, head tucked under Derek’s chin when Derek wraps his arms around him. Pulls him close, tight.

He’d read in a book about deep pressure, its effect on the parasympathetic nervous system. He’d studied Development Psychology for some time, thought about all the ways in which it checked every box of his interests. He thinks he might want to be a teacher. That’s where he learned about the importance of the bond between guardian and child. Where he learned a hug sometimes really is a fantastic answer to the most startling problems.

It’s also the fastest way to get Aaron to sleep.

“Tighter,” Aaron whispers. He can’t quite feel Derek’s bones pushing into him, the hammer of his heart still too strong. He groans, choking up a laugh when Derek does just that. Holds him tight, makes him ache with the proximity, his inability to move.

Derek doesn’t mind, he’s got an armful of bakery boy. Couldn’t be more content with anything else.

0000000000000000

All things considered, Derek didn’t actually face that much scrutiny when he told his mother about the stupid twisting and turning feeling in his stomach when Martel Harris put his hand on Derek’s back. Leaned in too close and Derek could smell the cologne he wore and feel his proximity like lightning across his skin. He’d thought it was just nerves but at the end of a football match Martel lifted him up, threw him up in the air, and God that had felt better than flying. Lit him up inside like he was something, someone.

Desiréecried and Sarah wouldn’t speak to him for a week, opposite reactions because of the same fear. Their mother always said the two of them were two halves of the same coin-- too alike to get along and too different to ever get away. They came around, their mother’s gentle hand always the voice of reason. Three stubborn as all hell kids, too much like their father. That’s what she tells the three of them, tears swelling in her eyes as she proclaims that none of it matters. Orders Desiréeto stop crying tells Sarah to get over herself. She loved and married a black man despite the death threats that followed them everywhere they went. Despite the people that called it blasphemous. Called it sin. As if love could be such a thing.

Her mother told her not to come home, not to call. She wouldn’t do that to her son, she knows it won’t change a thing. There’s something about love that makes you blind to the small pains. She never looked back twice, never reached out to her parents. She chose love and Derek will too.

But that doesn’t mean the fear goes away.

It doesn’t actually change a damn thing.

Standing in the tiny bathroom attached to Derek’s friend’s bedroom Aaron leans over the sink, letting Derek rub

shampoo through his beer-drenched hair. “I just don’t understand why they have it out for you,” Derek mumbles, his voice has deepened, his frustration laced confusion evident. They’re in a rather suggestive position, Derek’s body keeping Aaron bent over the sink-- ass to groin. Aaron shoots him a look out of the corner, a pretty clear “look at us right now and take a guess at why”. Derek ignores the look, he’s rather good at ignoring Aaron’s sharp looks. He shakes his head, grumbling some more to himself and gently working the shampoo out of Aaron’s hair. He leans closer, Aaron groaning as the sink bites into his stomach, and smells his hair. Derek groans, unsatisfied with what he finds. “Smells like strawberries with a slight undertone of beer.”

Sounds about as close to a win as they’re getting. “That’s as good as it’s going to get,” Aaron mumbles, grateful when Derek sits back up. While Aaron’s come to terms with the particular hand he’s drawn in the terms of college social lives Derek isn’t as quick to accept. He feels hopeless, a feeling he thought he’d escaped upon leaving Chicago and everything Carl Buford. Aaron can’t stand to see that look, the one he’s grown so used to seeing after events like this.

He pulls a towel down off the rack, starts trying to dry his hair. This isn’t the reason he keeps his hair short but it’s certainly a helpful addition to keep in mind. “Don’t overthink it, it’s not your fault.” Aaron could go blue in the face trying to keep Derek from coming up with a mile-long list of all the reasons why that’s simply not true. The truth is, it’s really not Derek’s fault. No one even knows about them. Their relationship isn’t the reason why Hunter Whatever-his-last-name-is poured his cup of cheap, smells like piss, beer over Aaron’s head.

Not that what happened downstairs can just be so beautifully summed up as just that. Hunter Whatever-his-last-name-is had grabbed Aaron as he was walking in, doing as Derek instructed by coming in the screened-in door at the side of the house. “Who’s dick did you come to suck?” and Hunter Whatever-his-last-name-is cupped Aaron’s cheek. Dug his thumb into the wound he created and smiled, grinned happily at the sight of Aaron trying so hard to getaway. Hunter’s grip relaxed and as soon as it did Aaron was blinking the beer out of his eyes. “Get the fuck away from me,” Hunter shoved him, hard. “Faggot.” Aaron hit his hip on the counter but said nothing, he’ll leave the bruise for Derek to find another night.

“I should say something to that pig,” Derek’s distracting himself with putting everything back in the bathroom the way it was before they came in. Straightening out the rug and fixing the other towels. “Let me catch him trying something--”

Aaron can’t take it, all of Derek’s pointless anger, his stupid guilt. He’s just had beer poured down his back. He can’t even accept Derek’s sweatshirt to replace his smelly shirt, can’t walk out of here wearing his boyfriend’s sweatshirt without getting shanked. The beer smells awful but he’s fairly certain getting stabbed is a whole lot worse. Derek doesn’t have to deal with that. No one messes with him because no one thinks to. “It’s because of how I look!” He’s shaking, bangs hanging down in his face still damp but no longer dripping water down his face. “You? You look normal. You get to walk around with all your football buddies, no one bats an eye at the quarterback, Derek. At least you like women too!” He points to himself, digs his finger into his own chest. “Me? I look the part. I can’t even pretend. Everyone knew, the whole world knew before I did!”

Derek just stands there, caught in the headlights trying to figure out what to say.

He wipes his eyes, jerks away from the hand Derek tries to put on his arm. “No. No!” he can’t do touch right now. Not like this, not when his body won’t hold still and his knees keep trying to buckle. It happens, this panicked cornered feeling, and usually Derek would hold him down. They’d sit on the floor and Derek would hold his arms down to his chest and they’d just sit like that until Aaron can breathe again. Bones against bones until Aaron feels the fractures of his humanity coming back together but for now, right now? He can’t do it. He can’t be touched.

“I want to go home,” he manages, lower lip quivering despite how much he wants to hold it together. “Please take me home.”

Derek just stares at him, stands there, and watches Aaron cross his arms over his chest and curl in, trying to squeeze the panic out himself. “Okay,” he caves. “Go on, I’ll follow you down.” It’s degrading, humiliating the fact that they can’t even leave this room together. Aaron’s upset and Derek can’t do anything about that right now. It’s not safe until they’re home.

It’s never safe.

With his hair dripping into his face Aaron stumbles in the dark. His shirt is soaking wet, stuck to his skin, and freezing him as tramples down a thin stretch of grass between houses. He wishes he had Derek’s sweatshirt. Something warm. At least something to cover his arms. It had been a stupid idea coming here right after getting off work. The bakery is so impossibly hot and after getting off his shift all he wanted was to be with Derek. To sit in whatever little room Derek could guarantee was safe and drink whatever cheap crap Derek brings him from downstairs. Just sit and listen to the music filtering in from downstairs.

“Hotchner!”

He freezes-- a deadly mistake.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

He knows what happened to Derek. In the hush of the night, laying facing each other in the dark, Derek had told him. Each word a puff of hot air against Aaron’s face, hitting the hot tears rolling down his cheeks. It was supposed to be even, Derek’s intention was to express alikeness. He’d seen the scars, no matter careful Aaron was about the light when he thought things were headed in the direction of nakedness, Derek saw them. He hadn’t said anything that time, run his thumb over the one on Aaron’s chest but kept up his ministrations. Acted as if he didn’t until that moment in bed.

Aaron still hasn’t found the courage to be honest about his own childhood.

Derek comes around the back, half-expecting tonight to go like it always does. Except Aaron hasn’t had any alcohol and he doesn’t come stumbling around the porch to greet Derek from the darkness. There are no stolen kisses or hushed laughter. No Aaron. Derek has half a mind to shout out for him, he couldn’t have gone off far, but then he sees him. Derek sees them. The moonlight shining down casting this awful hue between the houses. He sees Hunter draw his foot back and he can’t hold it back. Won’t let this go on. “Hunter!”

The second that Hunter’s attention is away from him, Aaron slumps to the ground. His blood smeared against the house. He’s still breathing, awful ragged breathes that shoot blood off his lips. He sees Derek in the moonlight, rushing past him. Aaron wishes he wasn’t a coward. Between each blood speckled breathe, he wishes that he wasn’t a coward and had just told Derek. That way he would understand Aaron can take it. He spent his childhood taking beatings for just being alive. At least now it was something coherent. Being beaten for being gay requires at least knowing something about him. His father couldn’t even bother with that.

But Derek doesn’t understand.

Aaron never told him.

He’s pulled down, out of orbit, and back to Earth when Derek squats down beside him, cradles his head in his hands. “Aaron?” he calls out, but Aaron can’t force his eyes to move from the dirt. “Can I--” Derek doesn’t know where to put his hands. If he can put his hands anywhere. “I’m going to-- to lift you, okay?” It’s not a matter of if he’s strong enough. He benches more than his own body weight and that’s significantly more than Aaron’s. He’s just not sure if Aaron’s going to fight him and if Aaron fighting him is good or bad.

“Lean forward,” Derek whispers, cupping the back of Aaron’s head and directing it into his shoulder. He turns, manipulates both their bodies and winces each time, no matter how gentle and calculated his movements are, Aaron still cries out. He still hurts him. “I’m sorry,” becomes his mantra. The only words he can manage out around the tears, the only thing he can get past the thickness in his throat.

Sorry he didn’t stop this sooner.

Sorry that he keeps hurting Aaron.

Sorry they couldn’t be other people. In other places. In another time.

Sorry that it’s all for nothing, that there’s no way this ends well for either of them. They’re going to end up dead or alone but certainly separate.

The second Derek has him in his arms Aaron grips his shirt tightly in one blood-stained hand. He rests his head on Derek’s shoulder, soaking in his warmth. “Home?” he asks, voice breaking.

“We’re going home.”

Aaron wakes up alone in bed.

He’s completely naked, laying with three blankets pulled up over him. One that he recognizes is from the living room. There’s one of Derek’s homemade sock heating pads digging into his sore ribs where he rolled over onto it, he can feel more of them underneath him. He’s been laying here for a while. None of the socks are warm anymore. He’s on Derek’s side of the bed, facing his nightstand, and watches Derek’s blurry alarm clock change time. 1:36 passing to 1:37 to 1:38 just waiting for the fuzzy fingers in his brain to ease up. To allow him to think.

It’s Saturday.

Derek’s off at a football game, not due back for hours. Not until tonight, long after Aaron’s gone to bed.

For an overwhelming moment, his eyes fill with tears, desperation, and solitude creating an awful twist in his stomach. He doesn’t want to be alone. Protectively he draws his knees up, tries to knot himself up, and create a mangled ball. His heart picks up, anxiety increasing as he lays there. He wants Derek. He doesn’t want to be alone.

On the phone’s first rings he curls in tighter, overwhelmed by his own crying that he presses his face into Derek’s pillow and ignores it. He’ll let the machine catch it-- that’s the whole reason Derek bought it. With a sharp end, muffled by the blanket he pulls up over his head, a voice comes through. The machine catching the voice mail.

“Aaron, sweetheart? This is Fran, Derek’s mom? I’m sorry to keep calling sweetie but Derek’s awake now. He’s worried, says you should have woken up by now. I can send Sarah to come get you, Derek told me what happened last night. Please call me back? I hope you’re okay.”

He lays in confused silence, trying to process why Derek’s mother would call him. She calls all the time and occasionally he answers to tell her she’s just missed Derek-- he’s off with friends, at the gym, or at class. They know of one another Derek talks about him to Fran as much as Derek talks about Fran to him. But Fran call him? That’s never happened.

Then he catches it-- “Derek’s awake now”-- and he sits up. Pushed from his mind is the pain, his ribs scream and the blood he can see he’s left on Derek’s pillow. Derek’s awake now. Hunter Whatever-his-last-name-is is on the football team. An offensive lineman. A guy whose entire job is to protect Derek but now he knows, he has to know.

Derek’s awake now.

He throws himself out of bed, clipping his already sore hip on the nightstand and staggering for the phone. Tears spilling over his face. What happened while he was sleeping? What did Hunter do?

Fran picks up on the first ring. “Aaron, is that you sweetheart?”

He sniffles, rubbing at his nose with his finger. “Yes, ma’am.” He knows she can hear him crying, his choked sobs as he falls in the direction of the closes chair.

“You had me worried sick,” she says and he can hear that unmistakable fondness in her chastising tone. That must be where Derek gets it from. It makes him smile, even if it’s weak. “How are you feeling, baby? Derek told me what happened. I’m sorry. If I see that boy I’ll wring his neck. Give him a piece of my mind for bothering my boys.”

He just nods, despite the fact that she can’t see that. He knows he should answer her question but he has no idea what he feels. Nothing. He feels nothing as he sits here holding his breath as he waits to ask about Derek. To know what happened because of him. “Is Derek okay? What happened?”

Hunter told a few other team members what he saw. Most brushed him off, Hunters a douchebag, and they like Derek. Others just hate Aaron enough for it to matter to them, enough to what to do something. Or, rather, not do anything. It only took one tackle, a limb bent the wrong way under the weight of three boys.

It was Derek’s knee. A career-ending injury.

A scholarship losing injury.

“Can I--” Aaron chokes. He’s afraid of what happens if Fran says no. “Can I see him?”

“Of course you can.”

Aaron turns away Fran’s offer of a car ride but Desirée still shows up.

He answers the door in a sweatshirt and jeans and knows immediately who it is when he opens it up. Desirée just stares at him for a moment, he can feel all of the seventeen-year-old judgment sizing him up. “You look… awful,” she tells him. She lets herself in, walking past Aaron with one more look. “Mom says I can drive but if you want to do it I have to let you.” She puts the car keys on the counter, sighs as she looks around. “Derek says…” she chews her lip, as she sizes him up again.

He wonders how intimidating he could possibly look to her. Hunched over and wearing a sweatshirt that’s too big for him.

“Would you teach me how to make bread?”

He can’t help but smile, nods without any hesitation.

“Really?”

Aaron nods, “it’s not that hard. More of a-- a waiting game. You have to give the yeast time to rise.”

Desirée has no idea what that means but she nods, “cool.”

He lets her drive. Mostly because his vision is swimming but because he tosses the keys back to her, a clear okay that she can drive, and she beams at him. She likes him. That’s so weirdly important to him.

She has to wake him up when they get to the hospital. The first thing she tells Fran is that he let her drive and Fran smiles at him, shakes her head, and says “you must have a death wish.”

Aaron blushes under the attention, eyes falling to the floor. He barely manages, “drives just like Derek.”

Fran laughs, nodding her head, “she does. Too heavy on the brakes.” Her smile fades a little when she sees Aaron’s sweatshirt, recognizes it from home. Knows it’s Dereks. “Will you let someone look at that,” she asks, too many of his wounds look deep. Cuts that need stitches and a nasty black eye that she knows he hasn’t iced. She’s reminded a little too quickly that Aaron and Derek are still very much kids. Tricky kids. Too old to be told what to do but still wanting direction.

Aaron nods, shying away again from the attention, but nods.

They leave him when the nurse steps in, doesn’t need to say a word. Fran sees him hesitate to lift his shirt and knows. Derek had managed to tell her most of what happened but the morphine made his speech slur, made him emotional. He’d sobbed, high and in pain. Told her what he’d seen the night before. Hunter hitting and kicking at Aaron, the way Aaron slumped forward. How he’d carried Aaron home. Washed the blood off him with a rag. She knew what was under Aaron’s shirt wasn’t something for them to see.

Derek wakes sometime in the middle of the night. The drugs from the surgery are wearing off and with it his blissful escape from the pain. Licking his dry lips he looks around the room, spotting his sisters and frowning as he tries to find his mother. She’s leaning over another cot, on the other side of the room. He watches her, hears the familiar chorus of Blackbird, and watches her stroke Aaron’s forehead, following the line of the relaxed brow.

It makes him smile, his mother used to sing Whitney Houston to him and his sisters to sleep. He told her about Aaron’s obsession with The Beatles, how of all the records the two of them own that’s the only one Aaron will play. Desiréebought the album, his mother told him a week later. She saved up to get it and was eager for her moment to speak to Aaron about it. To be able to befriend her brother’s boyfriend. That’s about the same time Fran began to hound him about bringing Aaron home, to Chicago. She wanted to meet him.

Fran kisses Aaron’s forehead, waiting another moment just to make sure Aaron’s truly asleep before she stands. “He was having a bad dream,” she tells Derek. In truth, he’d been crying in his sleep. In pain, she could tell, and restless. He’d settled with her there and it made her sad to think that maybe he’d just grown too used to sleeping beside someone else. She’d pulled his blankets closer and sang, just as she did with the other three when they were little. Even when they’re twenty, it still works like a charm.

Fran smiles, tries to soothe Derek’s nerves so he doesn’t worry about Aaron. He’s fine for now, sleeping soundlessly. She sits down on the edge of Derek’s bed, cups his cheek, and asks “how are you feeling?”

Derek just looks over to Aaron, his pale parted lips parted and the bandages holding him together. “Is he okay?” He’d been so scared last night watching Aaron sleep. No amount of Tylenol was doing a thing for his pain. Several times he’d sat up in the night and searched for a pulse, counted the far too many seconds separating each of his breathes. Derek thought Aaron might die right there beside him but he’d been more afraid of what might have happened if they went to the hospital.

Fran sighs, stupid love. It’s cute, she has to admit, but so senseless. “He’s sleeping, he’s okay.” She tries to redirect him, “how do you feel?”

Derek looks back over to Aaron. He looks. There’s more than just those pale lips and the bandages. It’s Aaron. He’s sleeping under multiples blankets and looks like himself. How he always looks when Derek rolls over to face him. He believes his mother, she never lies. “My leg hurts,” he whispers, voice cracking. It’s like the entire thing is pulsing, a continuous stabbing feeling. He cries but not from the pain. They betrayed him. The people he so stupidly thought of as his friends. They hurt him like they’d been hurting Aaron.

He should have known better.

He shouldn’t have been so stupid.

This is his fault.

“Derek?” Aaron sits up, hesitating under the combined attention of Derek and Fran.

Fran stands up, nods Aaron over. “Sit with him,” she offers. “I’ll go get a nurse.”

Aaron nods, still waiting, still hesitating to be where he wants to be. Derek motions him closer, manages to move his body over in the bed. Just enough room for Aaron to squeeze in beside him.

“I don’t think I”m supposed to--”

“Lay down.” Derek can see all the bruises and cuts up close again. He brushes his fingers through the hair above Aaron’s ear, turning his palm to his cheek. Gently tracing the outline of a bandage. “Runaway with me,” he whispers. He thought about it all night long while he watched Aaron sleep. “There’s only four more weeks left of the semester.” Aaron’s smart, he’ll get in anywhere he applies. “We’ll transfer someplace else, anywhere else.”

Aaron frowns, he doesn’t like the idea of this impulsivity. Mostly the number of uncertainties that it creates and the questions. Where will they go? How will they know it’s safe? Are they dropping out? Where will they transfer to? What Aaron can’t get into the college that Derek does?

“Hey,” Derek hushes, he strokes his thumb across Aaron’s cheekbone. “Hey, whatever you’re thinking stop. I’m not leaving, not going anywhere you don’t. We do this together, alright?” He smiles, leans forward, and softly knocks their foreheads together. “Four weeks and all of summer break, okay? That’s plenty of time for a smarty pants like you to figure out where we can go.” It had taken less time for Aaron to conclude Illinois was close enough to home for him to go if something happened to his mother but too far away for her or his brother to come to him.

They’ll figure it out.

“Runaway with me?” he asks one more time.

“Okay.”

[marvelslut16]

You’re my everything

Pairing: Matt Murdock x reader

Synopsis: You’ve been in love with your best friend Matt since you two were kids, and you finally get the guts to confess when you’re bleeding out. 

Word count: >1k (my shortest one yet)

Warnings: Angst. Blood. Mentions a gunshot wound. Mentions death. Poor writing. 

A/N: I’m on season 1 of Daredevil and I love Matt so much. So I wrote this quickly when I should have been taking notes on my first lecture of the semester. Enjoy. 

You had known Matt since before the accident, you were by his side for everything. He even taught you how to read braille when he got his first books. You were the first person he told about his special abilities that came along with the accident. And you were the first person he told that he was Daredevil, you were the only one he trusted enough with the secret. Of course you were scared and a part of you wanted him to stop what he was doing, but you knew Matt’s good heart and you know he had to help as many people in whatever way he can. What neither Matt nor you expected was that someone he crossed as Daredevil would take their revenge out on you.

"Matty, it'll be okay, " you promise, voice coming out horace from the screaming you had just done when you were being jumped and later shot. 

"You're bleeding pretty bad, (Y/N/N)." It's the first time you're ever heard his voice shake, the gravel from the alley you’re laying in bites into your back and his knees as he rushes to be next to you. 

"It's okay," your voice unintentionally coming out a lot quieter. 

"No it's not, we need to get you to a hospital or something 

he's panicking, you can hear it. "I'll drop you and come back as myself." 

"Matty we won't make it,” you're surprised that no tears are slipping from your eyes, instead you're calm thinking about your impending death. “I won't make it." 

"Don't talk like that!" he clumsily reaches for your hands. "I cant - I can't lose you." 

"Matty, before I go," you cough and it gets harder to breathe. "I need to tell you something. I love you, Matthew Murdock. I always have.” 

"(Y/N)-" he starts off sadly, but he's cut off by your coughing. You reach your hand up to cover your mouth, and when you pull it away you notice the blood on it. You know Matt can smell the iron of the blood, your blood.

"I've got,” you cough again, this time choking on your blood. You spit out the blood, mindful of making sure that you don’t get your blood on Matt. “Got to go Matty”. 

“You can't leave me," he pleads desperately, guilt washes over your cold body as you realize that he’s going to lose yet another person he cares about. 

“You- you're my everything Matt," and with those final words you slip into darkness. The last thing you see is Matt's face, if you had to choose one last thing to look at you're glad it’s him, even if he’s wearing his mask.

--

When you wake it's from the loud incessant beeps coming from your left. You groan and your eyes flutter open, the first thing they focus on is an older lady standing at the foot of your bed in teal scrubs. You attempt to speak but no voice comes out instead it's a broken and scratchy sound. She quickly pours you a glass of water from a pitcher beside your bed, after you 

take a sip - a sip that feels as if the dessert was finally getting rain after a years long drought- you try to speak again.

“Where am I?” your voice works properly this time, if not still a little scratchy.

You're in the hospital Sweetie," her voice is chipper- too chipper, but kind nonetheless. "You got shot and lost a lot of blood. But you've got yourself an amazing husband, he hasn't left your side these three days. I know my Henry wouldn't have stayed by my side for seventy two hours straight. She finishes checking your vitals before excusing herself from your room- leaving you  with your mystery husband. Now that you no longer have your nurse fussing over you you can get your first look over at him. Your mystery husband is sitting in an uncomfortable looking recliner to your right, and is none other than Matt. You smile softly at how relaxed his face looks when he's sleeping. Luckily he has no cuts on his face from his night job, the nurses would ask too many questions if he did.

“I can feel you staring,” Matt’s voice breaks the stillness of the room, the only other sound being the damn heart monitor. 

“Can’t I admire my loving husband?” you tease. His cheeks turn rosy and his ears turn the same shade of red as his glasses. “Why did Sue call you my husband?”

“I- uh,” Matt clears his throat. “I had to lie to come see you.”

“Well if I could choose my fake husband, I would definitely choose you,” you give him a small smile.

“(Y/N), we need to talk,” Matt scoots to the edge of his seat, grabbing your right hand firmly. 

“No we don’t, Matt,” you sigh trying to pull your hand from his. “I thought I was going to die, just forget what I said.”

“No!” his voice comes louder louder than he intended for such a confined and quiet space, you can tell by the way he flinches back once the word leaves his mouth. “I don’t want to forget. I love you too, (Y/N), so much. You’re my everything too.”

He starts to lean forward and you lean up, your lips meeting in the middle. His lips are chapped and you can tell that he’s been worrying his bottom lip these past three days. He confidently slips his tongue into your mouth and explores the foreign space, you moan lowly into his mouth which earns a chuckle from the doorway. You and Matt quickly pull away, Matt’s face turning a deep pink again, while you feel your neck heat in embarrassment. 

“Are we interrupting  something?” Foggy smirks leaning against the doorjamb, and Karen is behind him holding a get well soon balloon in the shape of a band aid.

[joshstambourine]

Greta Van Fleet and Their Kid’s First Day of School

Y’all seemed to love my GVF as Dad’s head canon so I thought I’d continue on the same line with something else cute~ I’ve had this idea since I mentioned it in a fic I recently wrote (A Girl Named Ivy) so I thought I might as well throw a head canon together for it as well... SO I STOP THINKING ABOUT IT LMAO.

Taglist: @anditsmywholeheart @babydxll​

Josh

He strikes me one of those dads who is actually really excited for his kid to start school. Not that he doesn't want them around, or that he doesn't realize its the mark of the beginning of the end... but because he knows this is a part of growing up.

Josh can tell while they are out shopping for new school clothes that his kid is excited. They are beginning to feel grown up, even if its just in a small way --- and Josh is proud of them for that.

I just can't imagine him being the kind of parent that struggles with letting them go, instead I see him being the kind of parent that just wants to nurture their growth in everyway.

"What about this shirt for your first day? You know what we should get you?? A set of wheelies!"

"Josh they don't allow those in schools anymore..."

*Whispers* "We'll get you some wheelies, just don't tell mom."

He'd make sure he goes through the checklist the school had sent out multiple times, trying to make sure they have everything they could possibly need.

When the big day finally comes, he would be talking with his little one all morning making sure they know they are going to have a great time and make lots of friends.

He would want to help make their lunch but instead just spends all his time drawing a picture of a rabbit with a cowboy hat riding on a goats back to put in instead.

Josh wouldn't be able to stop himself from looking in the rearview every few minutes to look over the little ones face. Trying to make sure they didn't look nervous at any point. If they do he'd find a way to reassure them.

"You remember that nice lady that gave you that cool cat sticker a few weeks ago? She's going to be there all day today! She's actually your teacher, isn't that cool?" Josh would just want to do everything in his power to keep them feeling relaxed.

"You give 'em hell today, okay?" Josh would say when they stood outside of the classroom, watching the little one nod. "Before you know it I'll be here to pick you up."

"You promise?"

"Of course I promise... I need someone to go get ice cream with!" He would say as he'd move to give them a tight hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too Dad."

As soon as the classroom door shuts, Josh won't be able to stop smiling the rest of the walk back to the car. He would be just so proud that he raised such a fearless kid.

The first thing Josh would ask when he picks them up at the end of the day,

"So? Did you learn how to move things with your mind yet?"

"No but did you know squares have four sides...?!"

Jake

Oh god.

Jake is going to be having such a tough time.

He wants to be a big strong man about this. "It's so silly... why would I be sad about them going to school?! That's ridiculous."

He would pretend like he didn't care.

Anytime his little one asks about what school is going to be like, he gives very quick pointed answers so he doesn't have to think about them being grown up enough to go.

"Is it too late to home school them...?"

"Yes Jake it's too late to home school them."

Jake just wants to hold hands the whole time they are school shopping. He doesn’t want to let them go.

"Jake, you have to let them go so they can pick out what they want."

"They can bring me where ever they want to be. I can help them reach what they need.”

The moment his kid puts their backpack on their shoulders, even just to test it out, he’s going to need to take a moment. When did his baby get so grown up?!

He thought that was bad but then the school assessment kills him.

Jake wants to be the one to make their lunch for their first day, its a special day, this little one deserves something special. He'd hide candies and other treats at the bottom so Mom won't see.

There is no way Jake isn’t driving his kid on their first day of school. He’s going to talk with them all the way to class with their hand clasped in his.

I think despite how well he covers it over, his kid can probably tell that he’s having a hard time letting them go.

“Dad?”

“Yeah...?” 

“I’ll be okay.”

Hearing them say that would make him smile, trying so hard not to cry. Jake would lean down and immediately give them a huge hug. “I know.” He’d tell them.

“I’m just going to miss you lots.”

“I’ll miss you too.” They’d say, “But. Mom says that I’ll have time to draw pictures probably. Would you like a picture Dad?”

“I’d love a picture.”

As soon as Jake gets back to the car he’s a sobbing mess. He’s so proud but its so hard to see your baby grow up.

Sam

Sort of like Josh I think that Sam is excited for his little one to start school. He has so much confidence in his kids abilities.

Sam would just assume that whatever task is sent his little ones way will be accomplished with all of their effort.

He feels like the kind of parent to hype up school any chance he gets for his kid. He wouldn’t want his kid to be nervous, so he’d say just about anything to keep them from being scared.

When Sam brings his kid in for the assessment he is just going to be absolutely beaming with joy.

He’s just such a proud dad. Getting to see his kid answer questions and have so much fun is going to have him over the moon.

“Buddy you did so good with those shapes! When did you learn those??”

Sam would be on the ball for school shopping. Everything that’s on the school given list and then some.

“Sam... they don’t need a dictionary --- they can’t even read yet.”

“Just incase! You never know!”

*Insert Sam looking for dirty words and snickering to himself*

He’d also want to practice so much with his kid before the big day comes. Going over their numbers and ABC’s so they feel nice and prepared.

When the big day does come around he is immediately going to have his camera out, ready to take some nice first day at school pictures. Whether they are waiting for the bus or he’s driving them to the school.

There are going to be like a million pictures. 

So many.

“You’ve got your crayons?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?! I just want to make sure. Oh and you’ve got your lunch box?? Mom made you such a good lunch.”

“Yup! I’ve got everything!”

“Excellent work~” He’d hum, “You're going to have an awesome first day!”

Danny

Danny I could imagine feeling a little nervous for his little one to start school

He would never tell his kid this of course; I feel like he would understand how well attuned kids can be to feelings, especially nervous feelings.

So he tries to bury his worried feelings.

They’d come out a little every time his baby shows any concerns about school. But he will stuff them down and try to be as reassuring as he can.

“You’re going to make so many friends, buddy! You aren’t even going to notice Mom and Dad aren’t there, y’know? They also have lots of cool toys.”

Danny seems like the kind of Dad that would want them to feel confident. So if that meant lots of new clothes, or cool school supplies. He’d get it for them. Above everything he just doesn’t want them at any point to have a hard time in this process.

In all honesty though he’s the one having the hard time.

His kid is probably hella excited.

Danny sort of strikes me as a parent who would pack a really nice lunch for his kid. Like. This kid isn’t just going to have a ham sandwich like the rest of the loser kids in their class.

#AestheticLunch

The scene I sort of keep running in my head is with Danny standing at the end of the driveway holding his kids hand, they're both just leaning out waiting for the school bus to come around the corner.

“Hey dad?”

“Yeah?”

“...I’m sorta scared.”

“Buddy, it’s okay to be scared. This is a new thing for you. It’s totally okay to be worried about it.”

“I know...”

“Is there something that’s scaring you a lot though?”

The kid would nod, “...I’m going to miss you.”

Danny’s heart would just melt, and he’d pull them up into his arms for a huge hug. “I’m going to miss you lots too! But. As soon as you get home we can play as much as you want, okay?”

Watching his kid get onto the bus is going to be such a scary thing, but he knows it’ll all work out.

I feel like he would plan something fun for afterwards. Whether it be like going to get ice cream, or taking them out to a movie. Just something to celebrate!

Well that’s all of those! Sorry they’re a little bit more briskly written I sort of wanted to get those out of my head so I can focus on the next part of What Friends Do. As always if you guys want an actual full fic written for one of these, let me know~ 

Fun note! My first day of school was proceeded by going to an amusement park on the Friday. Going to a friends house and dislocating my elbow on the Saturday. Having major surgery on the Sunday. And then sobbing my whole first day, the Tuesday.

[saviorsbookcafe]

The Savior’s Book Café in Another World: Chapter 7

INDEX || PREVIOUS || NEXT

Chapter 7: A Changing Heart

Translated by: sydney Proofread by: Necro

I return to the café and go upstairs to my personal living space, collapsing onto the couch with a sigh.

Even now my emotions are all mixed up, but it’s not a bad feeling.

“Maybe I should just wait and see for a little longer.”

I may just be avoiding the issue, but I know that pushing myself to come up with an answer isn’t going to work.

I wonder if I like Ill as a friend or in a romantic way.

I want to come up with a better answer before I decide what to do.

If I were in my teens like the other Saviors, would I have rushed?

Thinking of that makes me smile.

After that, there’s only one more thing to worry about.

“A monster, huh.”

It’s been several months since I came to this world, but I still haven’t seen one, so it doesn’t quite feel real, though I’m well aware that that’s a dangerous way of thinking.

Even if it doesn’t feel real, the danger is real.

A chill runs through my body as I feel the impact of Ill’s warning to me and the reality of the situation come over me.

Unable to stay still, I pull out a magic encyclopedia from a bookshelf in the room and begin flipping through the pages.

Isn’t there any spell like, that can make a barrier activate automatically?

I know enough barrier spells, but there’s no chance I’ll be able to use one in time in a high-pressure situation like that.

If it doesn’t activate automatically in the face of danger, it won’t be of any use to me.

This book isn’t a textbook but a encyclopedia, so it won’t have instructions for casting the spell, but the types of magic should be listed.

I flip through the section on defensive magic, but I don’t find anything similar to what I’m looking for.

My eyes started getting tired after a while, but eventually I found one that looked close to what I wanted.

"Barrier charm magic?"

This is advanced magic as well, incredibly advanced, to the point that it’s on a completely different level from spells like recovery magic cast on drinks.

It requires an enormous amount of magic and control, a spell so advanced that less than ten people in the world are able to use it.

“Let’s see, ‘it puts a barrier around the user, which has a healing effect on any life-threatening injuries. Its healing ability and the strength of the barrier depend on the magic of the person who casted it,’ huh....”

This might work.

But something nagged at me, and I read the description once more.

“...hm, life-threatening injuries?”

How would you be injured if the barrier goes up automatically? I wonder.

I find another book to look for more details.

“‘The conditions for barrier charm magic to activate are that the person carrying the charm must be on the verge of death’?!”

In other words, the stone with the barrier charm magic spell, the person holding it has to have an injury that puts them on the brink of death, and when it looks like they’re about to be hit once more in that condition, the barrier will activate.

If you’re attacked when you’re fine, then the barrier won’t activate, so in other words, the conditions are that you have to take one hit and survive.

“What, well then there’s no point. But since there’s nothing else.... Maybe I’ll make one as a last resort.”

If there are so many offensive spells, then why are there so few barrier-type spells like this?

Probably because someone who’s used to being in a fight would be able to put a barrier up in time by themselves.

For now one spell is better than none, so I decide to pull out a magic textbook and test it out.

“‘First you need a stone to use as an intermediary. The harder the material, the easier it is to put a strong barrier into, but depending on the user’s control, it’s possible to put a strong barrier into even a glass bead,’ huh.”

I find a box of glass beads I had thought would be nice to decorate the café with, and pull one bead out, deciding that that would suffice for practice.

The book says if I don’t have enough control then it’ll break, in which case I’ll switch to something harder.

"Any barrier spell is fine, so I’ll do the strongest one. If I get to choose, I might as well pick one that also has a powerful restoration effect."

Once I’ve prepared everything I need, I follow the textbook’s instructions to try to cast the spell.

Around the glass bead in my hand, a magic circle appears, and a breeze moves my hair.

The magic circle gradually shrinks, eventually disappearing as if swallowed up by the glass bead.

When I peer into the glass bead, it looks like the magic circle is inside.

“Huh, I was trying to put a fairly strong barrier spell in it, but it looks like it worked fine with this glass bead?”

It seems the increase in control God mentioned wasn’t a lie.

I follow the textbook to check if it really worked, and it responds the way the textbook says, so it definitely worked.

“But this is...a last resort method, huh.”

At any rate, the prerequisite is getting injured.

To me, who doesn’t want to get injured, it really is a last resort way of keeping me alive.

But something is definitely better than nothing, I think as I put the bead in my breast pocket and look at the time, realizing Ill should be here soon.

Quickly, I take the box with the remaining glass beads that I was planning to decorate the store with downstairs.

After he took his time to warn me before I came home, he’d be worried if I weren’t here when he arrived.

I placed the box of glass beads on the shelf near the entrance as decoration, noticing that Ill hadn’t arrived yet, when the music alerting me of a customer rang in my head.

When I look up, I meet eyes with Ill, who had just come in, and we both smile at each other.

“Welcome.”

“Thanks.”

Ill’s smile is the same as always, but today I feel my heart beating a little harder.

I’ve always thought he was handsome, but I’m now realizing that his smaller mannerisms are becoming strangely visible to me.

I’m trying to ignore his hand touching mine as I hand him the menu, desperately trying to keep a calm smile on my face, when--

BEEP! BEEP!

A loud sound I’ve never heard before drowns out the gentle music in the café.

It reminds me of the piercing alarm on a smartphone during a disaster, putting me on edge.

Ill’s expression, which had been a calm smile, instantly hardened, and a dangerous aura appeared in his previously relaxed eyes.

He pulled a small machine-like thing from his pocket.

It seemed to be the source of the sound, and as Ill put a little bit of magic into it it quieted down, but his expression didn’t change.

“Ill?”

“...sorry, I have to go.”

“Did something happen?”

“A powerful monster appeared near the country’s border. That sound was a call for an emergency subjugation.”

“Huh?”

I knew that I hadn’t fully accepted the idea that it wasn’t peaceful here, but it was only then that I realized exactly how unprepared I was.

Ill’s atmosphere shows that this is an undeniably hostile situation.

My reading companion, and the person I like.

The person closest to me in this world is the Knight Captain, who often leads dangerous missions.

I knew that it was because of his skill that this country was so peaceful.

For a moment, I’m scared.

Not of something unexpected happening, and not because of the fear that danger and death are so close here.

It’s because I’ve realized that if he loses his life during this mission, I’ll never get to see him again.

I might never see him again, the person I spend all of this relaxing time with.

As Ill begins to leave, I frantically run over to him.

“W-wait!”

He stops, turning to look at me, and I grab a glass bead from the box I had just placed on the shelf.

“I’m sorry I don’t have anything more,” I say as I imbue the glass bead with magic, placing a barrier spell inside it.

I didn’t think that spell would come in handy so soon.

A spell that, when the carrier of the bead has a potentially fatal injury, not only puts up a barrier just before an attack, but heals fatal wounds to an extent.

It’s a spell that would probably come in handy for him, who has to defeat monsters even when injured, unlike me, who’s afraid of even getting injured in the first place.

Ill looks at me with a surprised face, and I press the completed barrier charm into his hand.

“I only just learned this spell, but I think the effect will match the ones on the market.”

“...thank you. I think the subjugation will take about two or three days, but once it’s over I’ll come back.”

As he said that, he squeezed my hand with the barrier charm in it.

My hand felt hot, perfectly fitting into his.

He looked straight at me, his gaze not leaving my eyes.

But before I could say anything, he let go of my hand, taking the barrier charm with him as he left the café behind.

I watched him begin to ride off on his horse, a sight I was used to, and frantically called out to him.

“I’ll be waiting! Be careful!”

Seeming to hear me, he waves a hand to me in response, and I watch him ride off before retreating into the café.

I shut the door with my hands behind my back and slid down to the floor right there.

I can still feel the warmth of his hand on mine.

His hand was big and calloused, likely from swinging a sword.

I’m apparently weak to a man’s hand.

Perhaps because his hand was so distinctly bigger than mine, my heart is pounding.

An unease bubbles up in me, almost as if to cover that nervous feeling.

He should come back safely, he’s strong enough that even other countries have acknowledged him.

Wanting to shake off this unease, I shake my head back and forth.

“Maybe I’ll stock up on the books Ill said he wanted to read, for when he comes back,” I intentionally say aloud.

I’m sure he’ll come back just like normal after two or three days, just like he said.

Speaking of, he said before that his horse goes with him for subjugations.

“Maybe I’ll add more types of grass in the paddock for when she comes back too,” I continue aloud, trying to make this vague unease go away, before standing up.

It’s okay, it’s okay.

This is the first time for me, but he’s probably done plenty of subjugations.

I’m sure in a few days I’ll be able to laugh at how worried I was.

At least, that’s what I thought.

I stocked up new books, and prepared fresh horse feed.

I practiced making more barrier charms, thinking they might be useful again.

The café continued like normal, but his usual seat stayed empty.

...a week later, he still hadn’t come.

I was supposed to spend time with her again like normal.

I had briefly wondered why I was relieved that the man I saw yesterday wasn’t on the other side of the door today, but the comfort of the chair and the smile she gave me were the same as always.

If anything was different, it was that we saw each other that morning as well, and that I remember her behavior at the time feeling a little off.

It wasn’t a bad feeling, just strange, but I was just thinking I should ask her if something happened when the alarm for an emergency subjugation cut through the air, drowning out the café’s music.

She looks uneasy, and I tell her that a monster showed up, and quickly get ready to leave the café.

Even though there haven’t been any subjugations bad enough to make an emergency call lately.

Anger rises up in me at the fact that I was finally about to spend time with her, and at the terrible timing of it.

As I’m about to leave the café, she frantically stops me, and imbues a glass bead with a barrier spell right in front of me, telling me, “I’m sorry I don’t have anything more.”

I never thought there would be a day where I watched someone cast an advanced barrier spell onto a glass bead.

It’s difficult enough to put a basic barrier spell into a crystal, but she has an incredible sense for magic.

She offers it to me, a considerably high-level item.

Something like this would never show up in a market, and even if you could buy one from an expert magician, it would cost an enormous sum, so it’s completely out of reach for someone like me. This is something that might be held by a member of the royal family as a last-resort effort to protect themself.

She offers it to me without a second thought, pressing it into my hand.

Without thinking, I grasp her hand with the barrier charm in it, and while she looked surprised, she didn’t pull away.

I held onto her hand, looking right at her as I felt in my heart, I don’t want to let go.

The subjugation should be over within two or three days.

I’ll make sure the subjugation succeeds so I can come back to this quiet space again.

With a new determination, I take the barrier charm and mount my horse.

I left her gaze and her words behind, along with the café.

On the road back to the castle, my horse seems on guard, as if she’s read the situation.

I grip the reins tightly.

I could still feel the sensation of her hand in mine, making me think of her again.

Her hand was small, perfectly fitting into mine.

Come to think of it, that’s the first time I’ve ever really touched her.

I want to hold her hand again, I want to be worthy of holding her hand.

It seems I’ve long since had the answer for all of the things I’ve been feeling lately.

“Oh, so that’s what it is.”

My voice is washed away by the wind from the force of my horse running.

If I think about it, the answer to all my uncertain feelings is clear.

I see, is that it.

Now that I have the answer, it’s too simple, and I stroke my horse’s back and smile.

“Let’s finish this subjugation quickly and go back, to see her.”

It feels like my horse’s neigh is another affirmation of my feelings.

At first I was going for my horse’s sake and to read.

As I kept going, it became more comfortable.

I became friends with her, and I enjoyed talking to her.

I was happy to read books and talk to her about them.

Now...I’m going to that café because I want to see her.

I squeeze the barrier charm that’s in my breast pocket, and hurry back to the castle.

Along the way, I meet up with Beork, also on his horse, and he tells me where the tent for the subjugation is, and I change directions to head that way.

“It looks like the monster that was spotted was related to that snowslide,” I say.

“Yeah, and this time the larger monsters are leading some smaller ones. Looks like we can’t take care of this the easy way by just scouting out the area and setting up an ambush,” he replies.

“Did the snowslide happen because of the smaller monsters stomping around when the scouts were there?”

“Most likely.”

We exchange information as we head to our destination, our horses running in sync.

The other knights should be meeting up about now.

“Hey, Ill, I meant to ask you yesterday but didn’t get the chance. After the subjugation’s over we gotta talk.”

“What is it? You can ask me now.”

“No, I want to have time to talk. After is fine. It’s about the woman you gave a present to.”

“Huh?”

I look over at Beork, caught completely off guard by his words, to see him grinning despite the nerves of the upcoming subjugation.

“You’re the only one who didn’t notice,” he says. “That day at the castle when we were shopping and you bought something for a woman, once you left everyone was talking about it.”

I wonder if he’s also trying to get rid of some of the nerves before the subjugation by continuing on so enjoyably.

The pleasure in his voice sounds a little more forced than usual.

Of course, he could also actually be enjoying it.

“It was a pretty big deal. The Queen and the Princess wouldn’t stop talking about it, and the King was delighted, saying how now there’s no need for him to talk to you about marriage interviews. The Knights were also all extremely curious about who you were giving that gift to. Before, there wasn’t a single rumor about you, who refused all marriage interviews and was so focused on reading, but now everyone’s talking about who the Knight Captain’s partner might be. The Princess told me to do anything and everything to figure out who it is, and the rest of her family is starting to join in with her. It turned into such a big commotion that everyone there completely forgot about the Savior’s existence.”

I stare at Beork, having been completely unaware that any of that was going on.

With that grin, he certainly seems to be enjoying this.

“And then today, during your break this morning. For someone as serious as you, even if you were on a break, everyone’s gonna notice if you leave your post to call out to a woman and talk to her with a smile, especially when she’s wearing the accessory you bought. Even I saw it from far away and ran over, but because of that statement about the monster sighting I couldn’t even bring it up, and the next thing I knew that woman had disappeared while I wasn’t looking and you were on your way to report to the castle.”

I suddenly understood why everyone was looking at me after that.

Certainly, up until now, even if I was on a break and ran into an acquaintance, I wouldn’t have gone so far as to leave my patrol to start a conversation.

“So that’s why, after this subjugation job is over, you have to tell me what’s going on.”

Perhaps because we could see the tent off in the distance, that was where the conversation ended.

Even if we do talk, Tsukina and I aren’t together.

I still haven’t done anything yet, and I still don’t know how she feels.

Yes, yet.

Once this mission is over, I’m going to go see her.

Everything will start then.

We managed to have a full set of tents set up after a day, and the knights were energized about keeping the monsters away from the town.

There were reports that the crowd of monsters was closing in, and thanks to the members who could use magic, there was a map floating in the air with the monsters’ current location clearly marked.

All of the weapons were ready, and there had been no issues with the preparation itself.

Giving orders to each of them, I motivate myself in preparation for the coming time.

I avoid looking at the tent that the other members are also pointedly avoiding looking at.

From the tent comes a spoiled voice saying, ‘I’m scared,’ and Beork’s and my faces twitch.

“Why is she here...,” Beork mutters under his breath, and the other knights around us nod deeply in agreement.

Despite the fact that this is an emergency mission, the Savior girl is here.

Since they were young, the Princes had learned how to wield swords from the Knights, in other words, from us, and had sometimes participated in subjugations, but no one could have anticipated the Second Prince would bring the Savior to one.

This is completely different from the routine subjugations, they were lectured, but neither the Prince nor the Savior girl drew back.

The Savior who said, I want to see the Prince in action! and the Prince who smiled back at her, charmed by her words.

They were told to at least stay in the tent, but how far we’ll be able to protect them is unknown.

That said, we don’t have the time to lecture them or take them back to the castle anymore.

The impression of the older Prince, hanging his head in regret and frustration as he apologized, lingered.

That unpleasant atmosphere was immediately dispersed by the sound of a patroller’s voice.

Everyone readied their weapons, distancing themselves from the tent and running to their post, waiting as they watched where the monsters were expected to appear.

I draw the sword at my side and let out a breath.

It’s a powerful monster, but this isn’t the first time we’ve fought a monster of this class.

We won’t lose, I thought, gripping my sword as I opened my mouth.

“Just like we planned, go!”

The advance party fired their magic, and we’re immediately confronted with the first monsters flying at us.

“The battle’s begun!” Beork shouted beside me, kicking off of the ground with me.

The pack of monsters surge onto us, and then it’s a melee.

I steadily cut down the monster in front of me, advancing forward to avoid the next incoming attack.

The strategy for this kind of subjugation is always about the same.

The knights scatter the monsters around us, and either Beork or I go for the leader.

That’s how we’ve always done it, so we were planning to use that same strategy this time too.

That is, until the Second Prince jumped into the front lines.

I only realized too late.

First was the Prince, flung aside by the huge forefeet of the giant monster, followed by the Savior, trembling so much she couldn’t even move.

No one needed to ask why the two that were supposed to be in the furthest tent were here now.

The knights’ hateful gazes were suddenly directed towards the young Savior girl.

The thought, Honestly, why don’t we abandon her? drifted through the air.

But they couldn’t, because of the Prince.

The ones who had taught the Prince to use a sword when he was young were us, the Knights.

Since his childhood, we always watched out for the Prince, who had been a hard worker until the Savior arrived.

The Prince, who would come to the knights for advice despite the status difference, who wasn’t the type to assert himself, but was serious and always thinking of his family.

It’s not like we were ordered to, but all of the knights ran to the front lines to cover the Prince.

From then on, everything happened in an instant.

Several of the knights who had first leaped in were thrown aside and knocked unconscious.

Where we had been pushing them back, suddenly we were being pushed back ourselves.

“Ill, get the leader first! If the bigger ones are taken care of, they’ll break apart!”

“I know! Draw the others away!”

“Got it!”

Beork, who can use a little recovery magic, began using it little by little on the more severely injured knights, while simultaneously drawing the monsters away from the Prince.

Just when the other knights were drawing away the smaller monsters’ attention and I was guiding the leader towards myself, the trembling Savior let out a scream and ran away.

After I had just gotten the leader’s attention, it turned towards the Savior’s scream.

In the blink of an eye, the monster closed the distance between itself and the Savior, and as it brandished its claws, the Prince jumped in, and there was a spray of blood.

The falling Prince, and the retreating girl, dragging her body away in an attempt to escape, as if the Prince’s blood itself would burn her.

The dazed older Prince lets out a small Why?

Everything happens in slow motion as the monster moves to make what would likely be the killing blow on the Prince.

The next thing I knew, I was holding the Prince in my arms.

My back, face, and arms and legs felt hot, and there was a disgusting feeling of something flowing out of my stomach.

The Prince looked at me in surprise, and it almost looked like his eyes had returned to how they were before the Savior arrived, and I couldn’t stop myself from speaking.

“Good grief, you’re more trouble now than when you were young.”

“Wh...why...?”

As I try to respond to the Prince, something rises up in the back of my throat, and I cough, the taste of blood spreading through my mouth.

“Ill!!” Beork yelled out, louder than I’ve ever heard him yell before, and from the breeze behind me I sensed the leader’s attack coming.

I shove the Prince out of my arms and away from the attack, and support my unstable body with my sword.

That was probably the last of my strength.

My body won’t move, I can hear the sound of blood dripping onto the ground, and my vision is flickering and fading.

The ground is swaying, and I feel sick.

Is it over, is this the end for me?

Even though...I’ve finally, finally realized.

As my vision fades, the smile I’ve seen almost every day comes to mind.

After she told me she’d be waiting, and to be careful.

My chest feels terribly hot, as I think, I can’t die yet, I can’t let myself die.

“Tsu...kina....”

As soon as the words fell from my mouth, everything goes black.

[mycatshuman]

Castle of Devils

Chapter 13: Remus is the Worst Wing Man

Last | Next | More

Tw: Remus being Remus, swearing

I have a more detailed note at the end, but I just wanted to apologize for how long in between the last update this was, I'm so sorry.

🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️

When Virgil got home, he found Janus rolling through the air whole clutching his stomach as his laughter rang out loudly. Virgil was still reeling from his encounter with Patton and he found himself freezing in the doorway as he stared at the ghost floating in his living room. He blinked. "What?" 

Janus turned to face the vampire, his laugh subdued to giggles. "You never told me-" he cut off once again in a fit of laughter made Virgil even more confused. 

"What? What's so funny?" 

"You never told me that you sparkled!" 

Virgil took a moment to process the sentence before his face dropped into the most annoyed expression anyone could muster. 

Janus crackled joyfully. "They said vampires fucking sparkled in the sun and now I can't stop thinking about you sparkling!" Virgil huffed as he moved to the kitchen and dropped the box of blood bags on the counter. He ignored Janus' loud laughter as he pulled out the blood bags and placed them in an opaque mini container in the back of the fridge. Once he finished he broke up the cardboard box that had been used to hold his blood bags and dropped it behind the recycling bin. Then he stayed quiet for a few moments. 

The ghosts' laughter still rang loudly and Virgil frowned. "Are you done yet?" He yelled. This only resulted in a new explosion of laughter as Janus looked at Virgil and imagined him sparkling all over again. Virgil groaned and let his face drop onto the counter. A thunk could be heard as his head made contact with the harsh surface but Virgil was too annoyed to care. "I should have never let you use my laptop." 

"No! No!" Janus laughed as he floated into the room, face still twisted in amusement as he fought to control his giggles. "I'm done now." 

The vampire mumbled into the counter, not even bothering to lift his head. "I met one of Roman's friends today." 

Janus's amused expression quickly slipped off his face as he moved closer to Virgil. "What happened? Is everything okay?" 

Virgil sighed and dragged himself back up into a standing position. "Yeah, he said his name is Patton and he actually was the blood supplier." The vampire nibbled at his lip anxiously. "He's, uh, planning to open a blood bank for vampires." 

Janus blinked. "What?" 

"Yeah. He's human, got a husband and they're both friends with Roman. Apparently he told them what happened." 

Janus suddenly grew very angry. "Well what the fuck! Why did he run when you told him?"

Virgil stared pointedly at the spirit in front of him. "Probably because Patton might not have told him. Or maybe it's because he saw me kill a man." 

Instantly, Janus's anger gave way to guilt. "I-" he swallowed past the lump in his throat. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, I should have let you tell him." 

Virgil hummed. "Yeah, you shouldn't have done it but I don't think I would ever be able to work up the courage to tell him myself." The vampire yawned. "I forgive you. I'm going to bed now, see you tomorrow." 

Janus nodded faintly. He watched as Virgil climbed into the bed and crawled under the covers. Janus stayed there for a while after the vampire had fallen asleep until he heard a light knock on the door downstairs. The ghost frowned and sunk down through the floor and glided over to the door. He waited a few moments before he pushed his face through the door and yelped. Janus flung himself back through the door and placed a hand to his chest and took a deep breath to calm his nerves before he phased through the door with a scowl. "What are you doing here, Remus?"  

Remus had been standing creepily close to the door with a broad grin on his face and wide unblinking eyes when Janus looked out the door, scaring the crap out of the ghost. Now he was vibrating in place as he looked at Janus with a mischievous grin. "I have the best idea!" 

Janus raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You do, do you?" 

Remus nodded rapidly and grabbed Janus's form causing the other to gasp. Warmth spread across his being from Remus' hand. It was the first time in a long time that he had felt warmth. God, he craved it. 

Remus dragged Janus to his car and showed a poster board with hastily glued on pictures and messy words littering the surface. The human let go of Janus, missing the quiet whine the ghost let out at the loss of the warmth, and gestured to the display. "I call it operation date night! I'm going to convince Roman to invite Virgil over as a "apology dinner" so he can pretend to apologize and he'll make stuff with "super garlic" in it that will be sure to "kill" a vampire and then when he finds out that it's not killing Virgil, he'll be so mad that he shoves the table out of the way and engage in hot angry sex and then my brother will finally have been laid and I won't have to deal with his sexual frustration anymore!" 

Janus blinked. "I- what? Virgil isn't going to have sex with Roman so soon."

Remus frowned. "Damnit." He stayed silent for a few minutes and Janus found himself wanting to fix the disappointed look in the humans eyes. 

"But, that could actually work to get them to reconcile." 

Remus's eyes lit up. "Yes! And then I can bully them with sex jokes!" Janus bit his lip, both incredibly amused and slightly disturbed. Remus turned to Janus. "Thank you Janus the ghost with the best di-" 

"Remus!" Janus shrieked, flushing red, embarrassed. 

Remus cackled. "Anyway," he started once he settled down. "I'm gonna head home. I'll talk to Roman about it tomorrow. You just have to make sure Virgil accepts." Remus smacked his lips against the ghosts cheek before climbing into his car. "Once this is done, you better be ready for a storm of flirty from me!" And with that final sentence, Remus turned on the car and drove off into the night. 

Janus hovered over the ground for a moment before choosing to ignore that last bit. "I think it's a little unfair that he gets to convince Roman to have this thing while I'm stuck trying to convince an immovable rock to go to this dinner party." He let his head drop to his chest with a sigh before lifting his head up and turning back to the house. "I guess all I have to do now is to wait." 

---------

Roman was suspicious of his brother. Recently, he had been on his laptop laughing maniacally every hour as if he was plotting. Remus usually was plotting something but this one felt a little different. Normally, his brother would brag to him about his plans, but this one he was working on, he hadn't. Which meant it probably had something to do with him. 

It was a bit alarming. Remus's plots could range from mild inconvenience to complete and utter embarrassment. Neither of which was something Roman wanted to deal with at the moment. After all, he still had the vampire to worry about. 

Speaking of the vampire, as time went on and as often as Roman found himself left alone with his thoughts, he discovered his feelings concerning the vampire and the entire situation becoming more and more complex as time went on. In his mind, he knew vampires were dangerous and a threat to humans. But at the same time, his heart was crying for Virgil. For the creative little emo that had stolen his heart in under a month. 

And his heart knew, it knew that Virgil would never hurt him. Or anyone if he didn't have to. The Virgil he saw in that nightmare and the Virgil he had come to know were different people. Virgil had changed, that he knew. In his heart of course. Roman's heart truly knew that Virgil was a complex person and he knew that he was a good person. 

His mind, however, had other things to say. His mind knew of the capabilities of a vampire and its strength and its powers. His mind believed it knew all the facts there were to know about a vampire. In fact, Roman's mind was the reason he wasn't listening to his heart. It had suppressed his feelings so strongly that Roman was living in denial. 

Remus knew this, of course. It was one of the reasons why he was pushing so hard to get Virgil and Roman together. A reason that he told no one. He had a reputation to uphold after all. Thankfully, he would soon be taking care of it. At least that was his plan. 

-------------------

"Say, Roman?" Remus called out as he lounged upside down on the couch. 

Roman looked up from the book he was reading. It was the third book on vampires that week. The older of the two had taken to reading everything that had ever mentioned vampires in an attempt to find a way he could fight Virgil. It was a bit of a dramatic reaction but that was Roman for you. "Yeah?"

If you really want to kill Virgil-" Roman flinched but Remus pushed forward. He knew calling the vampire by his name would eventually make his brother see that it was still the man he fell for just with some enhanced abilities and a weird appetite. "Why don't you just take him on a date, pretend you've seen the error of your ways but order him something with a lot of garlic?"

Roman blinked. He had….never thought about that. He hummed thoughtfully. "I suppose that could work." 

"Or if you want you could just invite him over and make something with a lot of garlic. Then when he eats it, it'll weaken him and then you can stab him with a stake." 

Roman stared in horrific awe of his brother. "I can't believe something that would have horrified me before is so sensible now." He slouched in his chair and placed a hand over his face. "My brother is making sense, the world's gone mad." 

Remus chuckled. "Or if you want you can just get your freak on with Virgil instead of trying to kill him. Maybe you have a biting kink?" 

Roman flushed scarlet and threw his book at his brother. "SHUT UP YOU DEMON!" 

Remus only snorted as he slid down off the couch. "I'm just saying, it's an option." 

Roman only groaned in response.

----------

Roman had to admit his brother's idea was a pretty good one. The, inviting the vampire to dinner to poison him one, not the other one. It would hopefully lower the vampires' guard and maybe, just maybe, he could pull it off without the vampire noticing. 

So, without any other options, Roman set about making up a perfect dinner. Roasted garlic potatoes? Check! Chicken alfredo, rich with garlic seasoning? Check! Holy water for a drink? Check! And all that was left for him to do was to invite the vampire over, cook, and set up the scene. What could go wrong? 

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Heyyyyy, so it's been a bit, a hot minute if you will, I'm sorry this is so short I just wanted to get something out and this has been just sitting in my drafts for months now. So i added a few sentences and here we go a short chapter but a chapter nonetheless I promise I'm trying to work on more. Thank you for reading and Happy first day of Halloween to those who celebrate it!

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