#just gonna continue watching 2x01 for the rest of my days

[strangerinthelight]

Kinda grown to love the constant nausea I feel about Lokius. Oh we may never see them again? That was there ending? Absolutely fantastic love it

[grunge-mermaid]

grunge rewatches midsomer murders pt 2

full disclosure: I'm mostly knitting and kind of watching bc I'm still rotted only season 1 of Little Mosque on the Prairie is available on prime & if I want to watch the rest I have to sign up for Disney+

but anyway, here's pt 2 of That Corpse Is Breathing Pretty Deeply Fellas You Sure She's Dead?

2x01 Death's Shadow

opening with a flashback. always a good omen. Gerald/Liam started with a flashback and that episode was fucking wild man

Judy Parfitt...Judy Parfitt...

I know I could look her up but I want to be surprised by how I know her

no Joyce don't fall victim to the wedding industrial complex

OH

SISTER MONICA JOAN

OF COURSE IT'S SISTER MONICA JOAN

I FUCKING LOVE SISTER MONICA JOAN

ahh good old Badger's Drift

all the good murders happen in Badger's Drift

"the head bounced into the hall" yikes

I knew there was a beheading in Badger's Drift I just got the episodes mixed up

why are there so many abusive husbands in these villages

well that hymn definitely isn't shared with the UCC

and we're back in the One And Only Lawyer's Office Set

oh that's a good murder

so dramatic and intense

love it

that corpse definitely isn't breathing

no lungs left

side effect of being burned to a crisp

please tell me someone's going to get an arrow through the neck

Chekhov's quiver

fine I'll settle for an arrow in the back

a character called Fletcher getting killed by a bow & arrow. beautiful

*gets caught in bed with a 19yo man* "I am not a homosexual, it disgusts me" baby boy... let me introduce you to the concept of internalized homophobia

"we never meant to hurt him" YOU LYNCHED A CHILD

WHY WOULD YOU PUT A NOOSE AROUND A CHILD'S NECK AND MAKE HIM STAND ON A RICKETY CHAIR ON UNEVEN GROUND IF YOU NEVER MEANT TO HURT HIM

gotta love it when the corpses don't breathe. such a rarity on this show

2x02 Strangler's Wood

only rated 13+? that doesn't bode well

this is the episode that was on PBS the other day that made me want to rewatch the series

they censored the word "shit"

idk why you can't say "shit" after 9pm on American television

anyway...let the commentary commence

if I didn't know that was Phyllis Logan I wouldn't believe it

11yo boys in the woods before school is never good

grown ass man can't take care of himself

stop infantalizing your husbands challenge 1998

ahh there's some good old fashioned victim blaming

I do appreciate a good Obvious Red Herring

I think one of the writers has a choking fetish

that comment's gonna get me some bots isn't it

"help my son is gay" "get a life"

I know I only watched this the other day but I already forget if they address why Kate Merrill recognizes Troy's name

like obviously he's written to her agony column, at least that's how they're setting it up, but I don't remember if they actually address it

"she's being dying for about 6 years now. we're getting used to it"

hey it's a Jenny Lind bed! *proceeds to sing Heave Away on loop in my head*

Come get your duds in order cause we're bound to cross the water

Heave away me jollies heave away

Come get your duds in order cause we're bound to leave tomorrow

Heave away me jolly b'ys we're all bound away

it's just not the same without Connor Bedard

what is with the kids in these villages? is there something in the water that makes them all psychopaths?

the continuity in this show is *chef's kiss*

gotta reference every previous case always

...is this what straight men find attractive?

is that cigarette ad supposed to be sexy?

I love the Terrible American Accent that is specific to shows like this

got distracted by making a knitting pattern more complicated than it needs to be because intentionally stressing myself out over a lace wedding veil is more interesting than rewatching an episode I just saw like 2 days ago

I'll try to be more focused for the next ep but for now it's eurovision performances and then bed

2x03 Dead Man's Eleven

ah fuck it's cricket themed I'm gonna be completely out of my depth

full disclosure: it's nearly 40c (104f) and I don't have air conditioning so if my computer (or my brain) overheats, the commentary will be brief

like this

nearly 20mins in and I have no clue what's going on because my brain is soup

haunted museum? 350-year-old family feud? that's all I've got

something about smoked mackerel

good god the sound on my parents tv is fucking awful

the music and screaming are painfully loud but the dialogue is barely audible

I get that Sandra is traumatized and all but jesus everything she says is a piercing shriek

wait a minute

the episode description mentioned cricket

why is there no cricket yet?

I want to steal my cat's cooling mat

can I make it through the last 30 minutes before taking a nap?

why am I not intrigued by this episode? is it boring? is it the difficult-to-hear dialogue making the episode hard to follow even with captions? is it the heat making it impossible to focus? we may never know

hard to tell if the corpse is breathing when it's buried

good lord that was the longest 7 minutes of my life how is there still 23 minutes to go?

*makes impatient "wrap it up" gesture*

OH MARTYR WARREN. it's a place!

I thought they've been saying Marta since 1x01

I assumed they were talking about a person who lived in Midsomer

someone everyone knows, runs a cute little shop or something, pillar of the community, everyone's nan kind of person

one of those characters who's always referenced but never seen. like Villix'pran or Captain Boday on DS9

apparently this is actually 3x04 Beyond The Grave. the real 2x03 has a really great cast (Imelda Staunton, Annabelle Apsion, Robert Hardy, Toby Jones). can't tell you who any of these folks are though

3 minutes left...

of course they read daily mail

but at least they're critical of it

ok nap time. summer is the worst.

2x04 Blood Will Out

the heat broke and my parents have gone out so I get the good tv tonight. let's wrap up season 2

Martyr Warren. of course it's set in Martyr Warren

this ep is about Travellers, it's gonna be culturally insensitive isn't it?

who is this guy

OH

he's Gibbs from Pirates of the Carribean

Hector Bridges reminds me of Dr Bombay

ok so far this isn't as bad as I expected

there's still an hour and a half to prove me wrong though

like yeah there are townspeople who are being dicks but so far the police have just said "please don't litter and please leave when you said you would"

"I'm not kinky"

no shit Troy

you're so repressed vanilla is too spicy for you

and that's coming from me

Barnaby gets points for the casual use of the singular they

please tell me those are not morris dancers in blackface

I do appreciate that the rich bigots are the baddies here and not the travellers like you would expect from a nearly 30 year old show

also appreciate the widow not grieving her abusive husband

"the killer did us a favour"

Wife Swap: version 2.0

ah there we go

Troy being the asshole we know and hate

love me some gossipy bitches gossiping about murder over a game of scrabble

this is some spec ops shit isn't it

nope not spec ops just a corrupt commander

Troy may be as kinky as a slice of wonder bread, but the writers of this show are definitely into some shit

or has AO3 just completely ruined me and I see kink where there is none?

"I made the classic mistake of not believing you had been abused" a cop making a good and sincere apology? I'm shocked

murdering someone with a shotgun while dressed in all white is a bold move girl

well that's season 2 over and done with I guess. see you back here for season 3.

[qvid-pro-qvo]

do you have a favorite Criminal Minds episode overall? Do you have a favorite for each character?

mmmmmmm very good question to think about as i comfort rewatch :) also, probably gonna do favorite here and not best, because i think those are two separate questions. you’ll also see my bias toward earlier episodes here. whoops. 

favorite episode overall - this is a tough one, but i LOVE the episodes where we see the work of profiling, and in some episodes this is really shown as an art form. i would have to say “seven seconds” (3x01). i love the enclosed space the mall serves as geography, i love how they interview the family, i love the way they bounce off of each other. i could watch this episode every day. shit like this is why criminal minds is great. there are other episodes that i could classify as favorites but probably fall into the category of character episodes. 

this unsurprisingly got long, like novel-lengthy, so i’m sticking the individual characters under a cut.

hotch 

aaron hotchner. there’s a reason i write fic for this man, besides the fact that i feel like in later seasons he is the epitome of one note most times. we see him smile every so often, but i also think i latch onto earlier episodes because we see so much of his care for those he cares for. i LOVE “lessons learned” (2x10) for him. i LOVE the way he is so blatantly shown to adore haley and jack. i think this is one of the episodes that speaks volumes across the show, even as his humanity kind of gets stripped away in the later episodes. i think this is a great intro for emily prentiss, too, but i don’t put it with her because while she does shine, i like other episodes for her better. the foyet storyline, of course, all the way through its conclusion in “route 66” (9x05). i really love the way we see his adoration for haley and jack, i love the way we see him grapple with his guilt, and. fuck. i just care about aaron hotchner a lot. also i can’t not say “it takes a village” (7x01) - beard hotch? inspired my first ever fic for him? yeah.  also, i think it also shows the things he is willing to do for his team, because i truly think that if any member of the team was in that situation, he would be there for them and do the exact same thing. hypothetically. 

rossi 

rossi isn’t my favorite character for a variety of reasons, namely because i never really felt connected to him and i think he... is a tool for the writers to bring things out of left field. but i think a huge growth moment for him and for me in terms of appreciating him as a character is “zoe’s reprise” (4x15). the rossi that comes back to the bau is definitely one who is a lot of things, and this episode pretty much expertly breaks down every wall that he’s put up since he left. we see him empathize with a victim, see him get told off when he tries to use money to fix the situation, we see him reflect on the consequences of his actions and the way that even though he’s kind of an ass when he first comes on, there’s more underneath. like i said, he’s not my favorite character, but this episode does a good job of working in much needed humanization of him. also, of course, the dinner scene in “proof” (7x02) could be an episode all on it’s own. “as a family.” you’re so right, rossi, you’re so right. 

derek 

god, i fucking love derek episodes. i love, love, love derek morgan. i high-key think that shemar moore does some of the most incredible/versatile acting on this show, and i’m not even speaking in hyperbole. we can talk about microexpressions from hotch and mgg’s portrayal all we want, but the way shemar moore delivers a man who suffered from some of the worst childhood trauma and creates a layered character with some of the most incredible empathy towards others on his team and victims is just jaw-dropping. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - derek is the most emphathetic character and the most in tune with the rest of the team. he is 100% the character who knows what others are feeling and actually acts on it. his relationships with spencer and penelope and emily -

but the episodes. there are tons of points in episodes focused on other characters where he shines (”penelope” and “mayhem” are two that come to mind) but honestly? “profiler, profiled” (2x12). not because of the trauma, but because how derek reacts to the trauma. we see him go through the five stages of grief when it comes to watching his persona, his shield, crumble around his team. we see him get taken apart and put himself back together. it is one of those episodes that makes me cry every time i watch it. derek confronting carl buford, that scene - f u c k. that’s all i have to say. 

penelope 

i absolutely adore my girl penelope. her character-centric episodes are some of my absolute favorite in the show. and it’s more like, i see a lot of myself in her even if i don’t absolutely identify with her personality (i am not nearly as sunshiney, unfortunately). so for her, i have to go with the classic “penelope” (3x09) for one. first of all, i think that the way the team cares for her is so vital. she is the heart of the team. and this episode shows it. more than that, i think it also shows how important a role she plays when she’s fully functioning, and we get reminded of how much she so desperately cares for others. i rewatch this episode often. another one for her is “exit wounds” (5x21). once again showing how much she cares for others, and also a really good/great/awesome derek and penelope moment. i love how often we get reassured that the team wants her exactly how she is, and she doesn’t have to change to catch the bad guys, and the moment where she says she looked into that man’s eyes so he could see something brilliant and bright as he died? god. sticks with me. 

emily

now. i’m not gonna lie. i think while i simp for hotch, emily is the most interesting character in the canon besides derek. i think while there are some problems in terms of continuity in her storyline, i think her journey in season six is one of my absolutely favorites to rewatch. i love watching her manipulate doyle. do i think the show could’ve done more in terms of fallout? yes. do i care? not totally. it’s a procedural, i get it. i love emily prentiss (probably am in love with her). i think her introduction in “lessons learned” is expert. while “demonology” (4x17) isn’t my favorite episode overall (i felt a disconnect with the story they were trying to tell in terms of unsub), i think for emily it’s such a brilliant look into her psyche and the way she thinks about her past. and i think “lauren” (6x18) is awesome at making the audience really look, watching her grapple with the consequences of her actions, her breakdown when she hears garcia’s message and having to quickly put herself back together... yeah, i love it. another one? “minimal loss” (4x03). i LOVE minimal loss. not only because of the story and the unsub, because emily throwing herself verbally in front of spencer to protect him is one of the top tier moments in the show. her and spencer’s relationship... fuck, so good.

spencer

there is a reason that spencer reid sticks around through fifteen seasons and it is because he is the soul of show. no, i’m not kidding. i think there is a lot of development that happens with spencer and when his individual relationships are highlighted the show shines. i think when the show, well, showcases his ingenuity it thrives. one episode that i just rewatched that comes to mind is “derailed” (1x09). the intensity of the episode is highlighted by spencer’s moments of humor, humanity, and intelligence. i like “revelations” (2x15) for the same reason. we see his genius through the eyes of the team and we’re just as in awe of him as hotch and gideon are. (did he get the support he needed after that episode? no, and i’ll die mad about it.) also his relationship with his mother, i will cry about it at any moment of the day. i LOVE their relationship, i love the way they develop, i LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the fact that we see the both of them throughout the whole series. “the fisher king, part two” (2x01) and the growth moments between the both of them - like, god, rip my heart out kind of love. fuck, and don’t even get me started on HIS empathy. the way that he reaches out to so many people who are suffering through his ability to just... listen. he doesn’t overlook anyone. he can’t. he knows what it feels like. some examples i love “the uncanny valley” (5x12) and “coda” (6x16).

jj

jj. there’s a lot i could say about jj, but i will say this. i do think liaison jj is more interesting, inherently, than profiler jj, and i do think that her character is reduced as the series goes along. i honestly think she is more of an equal with the rest of the team when she is liaison and plays that role. i will say, though, that i think her own exhibition of empathy, namely through the way she is willing to take the brunt of communicating with victims and families, is brilliant throughout the show. she does so much and i wish we saw her do even more (also she is canonically one of the best shots on the team, and i LOVE that). my favorite episodes for her is “risky business” (5x13), because as someone who has lost a friend in the same way jj lost her sister, i really felt for her and i think this gave us so much insight into WHY she does what she does. and “the longest night” (6x01) because her speech impacts the unsub almost as much as it impacts me. there’s a reason hotch wants her to be the one on the radio waves, and she nails it because she’s competent and incredible and... yeah. i do love her.

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Banished (Part 14)

*Not my Gif*

Summary: When the 100 was sent to the ground, Y/N Y/L/N was one of them. Having been in lock up for almost 8 years, how will she react to surviving on Earth? Especially when she gets banished…

Post Date: 9-6-19

Paring: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Word Count: 2.3K

~Banished Master List~

~Master Lists~

~Favorites~

Based off episode 2x01 of the 100 “The 48”

Bellamy ran through the forest, hand gripping his spear and looking for grounders. His face was covered in blood, some his and some others when he stoped for a breath before someone called his name. He turned around jumping and laid eyes on Monroe and Sterling.

“Get down.” He orders as the three of them crouch down behind a log. “Have you seen Finn?” He asked as Monroe’s eyes widened.

“Finns alive?” Bellamy sighs and tells them they were separated as Monroe turns to Sterling.

“What about Y/N? I saw her right before the door closed, where’s she at?” Bellamy froze at the young girls words. His mind replayed your final moments as he watched you fall, telling him to leave you. And he did. He left you there to die and he can’t shake that feeling.

“No.” He grumbled as Monroe and Sterling understood from seeing the pain in his eyes. “How’d you guys get out?” Monroe looked to the ground, avoiding eye contact before Sterling spoke up.

“We saw a piece of the ark come down.” He begins before over explaining, causing Bellamy to narrow his eyes at them. Before anyone could say anything, scuffling caught their attention. They followed the sound, coming across a grounder dragging Finn and another delinquent behind him. The delinquent couldn’t keep up before the grounder slit his throat, killing him. Bellamy looked away, gulping as you entered his mind again. He blamed himself, if you hadn’t been caught off guard by him yelling your name maybe you would’ve been able to save yourself.

Waking up was not something you expected. Especially when you had felt the fire on your face. But here you were, breathing. Your eyes slowly opened as you groaned, light filling your vision. When your hearing finally stopped sounding blocked you could make out a few people you didn’t recognize talking about your injuries, some of your newer ones and some older ones. But what scared you the most was when you heard your name.

“Y/N’s waking up.” A woman said as you turned to look at her. She gave you a smile before meeting the eyes of an older gentleman. You tried to sit up but moving caused pain to occur in your stomach.

“You’re just going to have to be careful for a few days.” The woman ordered as she placed a hand on your shoulder and you grabbed her wrist, twisting it back.

“Who the hell are you?! How do you know my name?!” Your eyes darted around the room, taking in the whiteness before tightening your hold on her wrist. “Where the hell am I?!” You continued shouting before the man tried to help.

“It’s okay! It’s okay. Just let go of Dr. Tsing and we’ll explain everything.” He said as you glared at him. Your grip never loosened on The woman, or Dr. Tsing as he called her but she pried your fingers back, an audible gasp coming from her lips as she rubbed the lightly bruised skin. “Thank you.” The man said as he attempted to give you a smile, only it looked too kind for your liking.

“Now where am I?” You demanded, ignoring the slight stare of Dr. Tsing as the man stood next to you.

“I’m Dante Wallace and you’re in Mount Weather.” He informed you as picked yourself off the bed, ignoring all the pain rifling through your body. ‘Mountain men?’ You thought, remembering Lincoln’s stories. Wallace seem to sense your change in mood as he took a seat next to you in the bed, putting a reassuring hand in your shoulder you immediately pushed off.

“How am I here?” You said as you looked down at your stomach, seeing the bandage wrapped around you tight as you sat there in a white sports bra and a matching pair of shorts. “And how did you know my name?”

Wallace smiles at how your voice became more civil and open to conversation. “Your people told us. As for how you were here, we found you barely alive and brought you here to save you.”

“Why? How’d you know I was still alive?” You honestly had no clue why they would’ve wasted any supplies on you. They didn’t know you. They didn’t know the things you’d done.

Wallace didn’t answer your question, just turned to Dr. Tsing who was checking over your injury. “She’s all clear. Just needs to watch it as well as her arm for a while.” You glanced down to your arm and saw there was another bandage wrapping up your infected cut. You watched Tsing leave the room before looking at Wallace again.

“I want to see my friends.”

“Of course.”

Bellamy, Monroe, and Sterling dashed after Finn and his captor, hiding in the trees to not draw attention to themselves.

“Ok.” Bellamy thinks as he looks between the two kids and Finn, coming up with a plan. “We go as a team. When he goes for me, you go for Finn. Then it’s four on one.” They nod as Bellamy jumps out of the bushes gaining the grounders attention. He looks behind him for Sterling and Monroe only to see they hadn’t followed.

“Bellamy get out of here!” Finn yells as Bellamy cursed under his breath, not looking away from the seething grounder.

You watched as Wallace had someone drag a cart of clothes into your room. You didn’t say anything, choosing instead to stare at the people until your door closed. Wallace has told you he would bring you to your people but he thought first you needed more suitable clothes. Shuffling over to the clothes, you ran you fingers across the fabrics. There weren’t a lot of choices but you didn’t care, you just wanted to get the hell out of there. You grabbed a pair of black jeans much like the ones you wore before and a black long sleeve shirt to cover your cuts and bruises. When you opened the top drawer, a small handheld mirror caught your attention. You hadn’t looked in a mirror in so long. You weren’t even sure if you’d recognize the person staring back.

You were right. You closed your eyes as you grabbed the handle, bringing it up level to your face before looking. It shocked you. You looked clean, your hair wasn’t in tangles down your shoulders and there was no dirt caked onto your skin. The bruise that covered your face had settled a little, not as bad as it was before. Some burns littered your cut skin but they were taken care off. You stared for a few more minutes before you looked down at your chest.

“My necklace...” You whispered as you frantically began scouring through the jewelry in the closet, coming up empty. Sighing and resting your head on the closet you let your thoughts wander to a certain curly haired man. The moment Wallace said you had people here every fiber in your being hoped Bellamy was here as well. You wanted him to know you were alive, not to think you were dead. The door opened as a guard came in, reminding you very much of the ark, to lead you out. He didn’t say anything as he led you out of the room and you didn’t complain since you weren’t in the mood for small talk. You just wanted to find him.

Bellamy’s plan didn’t work and soon he found himself being tied along with Finn. “Stay on your feet. He’ll kill you if you don’t.” Finn warns him before shouting happened behind them. Bellamy and Finn turned quick, seeing Monroe leading the charge to the Grounder before stopping short.

Gunshots.

The Grounder fell to the ground without so much as another step and Kane stepped out of the bushes, pointing a gun towards where he once stood. Bellamy clutched his stomach as he laid on the ground, grabbing onto Finns outstretched hand to pull him up. A woman, Abby, came over to him, telling him not to stand as she checked his injuries.

“‘M fine.” He grumbled as she reaches to help him. He pushed her off and turned to Finn. Sorrow filled both of their eyes as they realized it wasn’t Clarke and the others.

“We have to get back to the drop ship.” Finn mentioned as Bellamy nodded turning to head that way before Abby stopped him.

“Wait! Where’s Clarke? Is she alive?” Finn answered her and Kane wanted to ask about you, but he couldn’t bring the thoughts out into the air. Instead he pushed the worry down, leading the split group to the drop ship. Bellamy eyed Kane the whole time. Octavia had told him how Kane asked to talk to you when he went to get Lincoln back to camp. She told him a little about what you said about him being practically family before you were locked up, even though she knew you wouldn’t have appreciated it. Yet, what upset him at the moment was how Kane hadn’t asked where you were since they found him. He thought it was just because there wasn’t time but Abby managed to get the opportunity to ask about Clarke so why hadn’t he looked for you. The drop ship neared as the group came to a halt, not wanting to get any closer. A few people went in as Bellamy and Finn were forced to stay back. Bellamy’s eyes wandered to the front gate, knowing what he lost last time he was here and he knew he didn’t want to go in but he had to. Dead bodies covered the ground. Delinquents and Grounders combined. Bellamy and Finn looked at each other, knowing they let them down. Bellamy closed his eyes as your words echoed in his head.

“You’re gonna lead them to their deaths.”

God knows he led you to yours.

“We need a stretcher!” Someone yelled from the drop ship as Bellamy and Finn tried to run to them. The guards wouldn’t let them through so they threw them off, running into a tunnel that leads into camp before they could do anything. The camp was empty when they entered, having expected everyone to be there and to be okay.

“Where is everyone?” Bellamy asked Finn who matched his expression. Walking forward into the camp a familiar voice was heard that made Bellamy’s stomach churn.

“It was awful. There were hundreds of them and if it wasn’t for Raven…” Murphy said as Kane helped him out of the drop ship by holding up his limping figure. Murphy looked up, seeing his full of rage leader stalk towards him. “Bellamy… you’re alive.” That was all Murphy could get out before Bellamy pushed him onto the ground, falling on top of him before punching him in the face. The next few seconds went by before Bellamy could process anything as a shock baton made contact with his side, sending him rolling off of Murphy unto the ground.

“Place him under arrest.” Kane order to the men next to him who obeyed, picking Bellamy up off the ground and handcuffing him. He didn’t fight back but Finn did.

“Wait! You don’t understand! Murphy killed two of our people and tried to hang Bellamy.” Kane cut him off before he could say anymore. They stayed at the drop ship for a little longer keeping Bellamy detained for the time being. Ravens condition wasn’t getting any better and they were no closer to finding the rest of the 100 and you, although they didn’t really know to look for you.

“We’re leaving.” Finn told Bellamy. Bellamy just looked at him knowing it wasn’t a smart move.

“They’ll come back here.” He argued as Finn sighed. Finn said the one thing they were both sure of; grounders took them and they needed to go back for reinforcements. “How many more of us will die before then?” Finn sighed as he looked towards Raven, Bellamy following suit.

“Abby says Raven needs surgery or she’s gonna die.” He whispered as Bellamy’s head dipped. He knew they needed to go. If that had been you on the stretcher he didn’t think he would’ve hesitated to get you back to camp. A guard pulled him to his feet as held back his emotions, not letting them get the better of him think about you. His eyes wandered to the burnt corpses around him, not bringing himself to look in the one direction he knew yours to be. Kane turned to look at him as they started walking. Guilt over you was eating him up when he saw Abby’s message to Clarke and he needed to know.

“Blake.” He said to get Bellamy’s attention. Bellamy gave him a glare as he met his eyes. “Y/N. Do you know if shes with Clarke?”

Bellamy wanted more than anything to say yes. To know that you were still breathing. And Kane needed to know that you were ok. Missing but still ok. But when Bellamy’s eyes fell onto the scorched camp he got his answer. He turned away from Bellamy, moving to the front to lead the trek back to camp while he ignored the sad eyes Abby was giving him after overhearing. As far as Abby knew Clarke was alive. Kane thought you were dead and Abby knew how much he was worried for you since they landed. She was going to comfort him before he sped up, moving right along.

As for Bellamy, he finally took the look towards your spot. His eyes widened as they scanned the scene, seeing the dirt thrown about and bodies lying around it, but not where you went down. Arrows and weapons stuck out of the corpses, resting against the bones. But there was none with a spear sticking out of them. He tried to look around more but he couldn’t see anyone that died the way you did. He knew in his head that it probably didn’t mean anything, that the spear was taken out or burned away or anything. But instead he focused on the one ‘probably’ that gave him hope.

You were still alive somehow.

What did you think?

All Taglists Open

(Strikeout means I couldn’t tag. Tell me if I messed up/forgot someone.)

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Bellamy: @jodiereedus22 @nyxxxwtp @danielabetancourth

[authorgirl1111]

A/N Couple of things.

1. Spike has a soul. If I do continue details of how he got it and why will be revealed.

2. I know Spike doesn't show up until School Hard. But for reasons, this story starts 1 week before school starts. Before 2x01.

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer and affiliated works.

***

Welcome to Sunnydale (Home Sweet Home)

Oops, Aisling thought when she drove over the ‘Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign.  Beside her her bleach blond adoptive father chuckled softly. Instead of staying to survey the damage done to the sign, she made a turn and drove down until she found the street she needed.

To be honest, the absolute last place she wanted to be was in another town that had a Hellmouth, (Cleveland had been a mess and a half) but this Hellmouth also had The Slayer, and if she had to choose between a Hellmouth with the slayer and one without- well it wasn’t exactly a hard decision. Though if it hadn’t been for the fact that a Hellmouth could supposedly help her father heal, she wouldn’t have even entertained the notion.

She stopped at the building she had been searching for, an apartment building a few blocks away from the school. For a moment she stayed still her hands clasping the steering wheel.

Then a pale cool hand reached out and held hers.

She turned to face the man, bleached blonde hair and blue eyes and covered neck to feet in black. She took a deep breath at his concern. "We're here." She said, he voice held a light irish accent, undoing her seatbelt.

Her father shook his head. “Wait here.” He said.

She wanted to argue and leave with him but he levelled her with a stare that had her backing down. When he was sure that she was going to do as he said he undid his seatbelt, opened the car door and left leaving him behind.

She locked the door behind him and waited. The moment her father had left she let out a breath she hadn’t realized that she had been holding since they left Prague.

She should never have suggested going to Prague. France would have been better, or Rome, or Ireland (where she had chosen to go every other year), literally any other place but Prague.

Every summer they travelled for summer vacation. Every year they switched on who got to decide where they vacationed. Her dad had been reminiscing about Prague and Aisling had figured that it would be nice to see, so that’s what she had suggested.

Aisling shook her head Idiot.

She leaned her head against the steering wheel. She would have given anything to take back that summer, to suggest any other place.

Someone knocked on the door and she turned to see Spike waving at her to come out. She took another deep breath and unlocked the door and stepped out of the cool September air. Together they walked to the back of the car and opened the truck.

Aisling reached out and pulled out two suitcases while Spike pulled out another. Aisling sighed as she watched him struggle.

“I can make multiple trips, it’s fine.”

Her dad stared at her before ruffling her hair and kissing her forehead and instead reached into the backseat and pulled out a backpack. Aisling rolled her eyes, the backpack contained most of his food.

“Want you to eat when we get inside,” Aisling said. “You haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, Bit”

“So you say,” Aisling said then she switched tactics. “Still… I don’t want that to expire, so please. Eat.”

Dad sighed. “Point.”

Aisling smiled at the win, then it slipped when she looked at the suitcase her father had been unable to lift before she turned and walked with her Dad toward the landlord.

The landlord was not human, though the exact species of the demon was completely lost on her. He smiled down at her and she smiled back, but she could tell that both her father and the landlord could tell that she was forcing it.

“She’s tired.” Dad covered. “Bit’s been up since dawn.”

The landlord wisely did not mention that Aisling was carrying more than her father was. He walked them over to the main entrance and walked them through the passcode needed to enter. Then with a glance at the young human girl he explained that if they were bringing human company, there was a second code they had to enter, that worked as a kind of warning system so the demons living there could hide out of sight.

“Course, the girl here doesn’t count, since she’s living here. I take it she’s used to demons?”

“She is,” Aisling said tired of the landlord talking to her father like she wasn’t capable of understanding speech. “Living with a vampire will do that.”

“Have to say, I’ve seen a fair number of humans and demons living here together, but a human and a vampire living together is new.”

Dad wrapped an arm around Aisling. “She’s my daughter, found her when she was just a wee young thing.”

“I was 7.” Aisling cut in. “He found me when I was 7.”

“And how old are you now?” Landlord asked finally turning his attention to her.

“Turned sixteen this June.”

Landlord whistled. “Almost a lady.”

She wanted to gag at the almost patronizing tone the Landlord adopted. Her father must have sensed her ire because he quickly changed the subject.

“Will the other tenants mind?” Her father asked referring to Aisling bringing friends over.

The Landlord shook his head. “Nah, a good number of demons have kids that are human or human passing, and they like bringing human friends over. We just ask that you and your... daughter give us a heads up.”

Aisling nodded, though she had no interest in bringing friends over. “Thank you.” She said anyway.

The Landlord walked the two of them to the elevator, pressed the button and it led them up to the fifth floor.

“Have to say, Spike, when vampires do rent an apartment here, they tend to take the basement; fewer chances of sun exposure. Yet you specifically asked for an apartment with east-facing windows." The Landlord said as he led them through the building.

Aisling's father, Spike, shrugged. “Aisling likes watching the sunrise.”

“I also like not having my dad burst into flames,” Aisling said.

Her dad rolled his eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

“Uh-huh,” Aisling said rolling her eyes. “You always say that.”

Dad smiled. “And It’s always true.”

Not always. Not that Aisling was going to out her father’s injuries to a stranger.

“Here’s your room.” The Landlord said as he unlocked the door. “Rents due at the beginning of every month, though if you need more time we can work something out.”

“Thank you,” Spike said, Aisling nodded along.

The Landlord handed Spike the key before leaving. He closed the door with a soft click.

Fortunately, the apartment already had furniture. So they didn’t have to worry about sleeping on the floor, especially considering they had sold their last house and everything in it to afford to come there.

Aisling placed her bags on the floor and turned to stare at her father, who looked ready to keel over.

Aisling hurried forward and steadied him before leading him to the couch and gently pushed him onto it; then she removed his coat before she did so. Gently she took the backpack from him pulled out a thermos, opened it and handed it to him.

The smell of blood nearly undid him- even if it was two days old and nearly expired-, Aisling could tell he was holding himself together just enough that he wouldn’t vamp out as he guzzled down the thermos of blood.

Once he was done he put the thermos down, his mouth now blood red. He licked his lips and stared down at her.

“You don’t have to hide when you feed,” Aisling said. “I’ve seen you vamp out before, I’m not scared.”

“It’s not you Bit,” Spike said. “You know I have less control when I vamp out.”

She did, she also knew that Spike had the best control out of any vampire she knew. “Are you still hungry?”

Spike hesitated and Aisling pulled out another thermos and handed it to him. “Drink, I’m gonna go get the rest of the stuff.”

“Ash-“

“It’ll be fine,” Aisling said with a smile as she rummaged through the pockets of Spike’s leather duster to find the keys. “Have a little faith in me, will ya?” she said clasping the keys in her hand and hurrying out of the room before Spike could argue.

***

For as much as Aisling tried to hide, Spike always knew when she was scared, or worried, or in pain. Her heartbeat tended to always give her away, and if not her heartbeat then he tended to be able to smell the fear, or pain that would radiate off her in waves.

The last time Aisling had been near a Hellmouth had been when she was 12, they’d stayed there for six months before they’d packed up and left.

At least this one had The Slayer which would mean that there was some level of protection. It was the only reason he’d agreed to come to Sunnydale in the first place, and even then he’d raised concerns, but Aisling had been adamant, arguing that Spike’s job depended on him being in top physical health.

When Spike had still declined arguing that they would find another way to make money, that it wasn't the first time that they had landed on hard times. Aisling had brought up Her. Arguing that now that he was weak, she would likely know and would be heading straight for them. At least if they left for Sunnydale, they had the added protection of the Slayer, and with any luck it would detour Her, from making her way over.

He hated it. Hated that even after 8 years She was still a threat.

Spike was not the type to run. Every time She had come he'd been able to get her out of town, but now that he was weakened he had been forced to leave Los Vegas and come to the HellMouth in the hopes that the Slayer was somewhat competent (Though the fact that she'd survived the Master and Lothos suggested that she was), and able to deal with a vampire's whose mental abilities was on par with Lothos.

It helped to know that he had personally seen to Aisling's training, that he had taught her every conceivable way to kill vampires and demons. Trained her in techniques that would hopefully protect her from mental attacks. Training that saved her life multiple times, that saved his own life in Prague.

It also helped that the Master was dead, and the leader of the Order of Aurelius was some child fledge that had only been a vampire for a few months.

It helped that they were living close to the active Slayer. For however long that Slayer had left she would at least make sure that as many vampires and demons as possible died and stayed dead.

Still living so close to a Hell Mouth, while making him stronger, was very dangerous to the young human girl living with him, and he didn’t know if the Hellmouth would ever truly revive him to full strength.

He heard the sound of someone turning the doorknob and turned his head just as Aisling walked through carrying two more suitcases.

“Before you head back out.” Spike started stalling her. “Choose a room?”

Aisling paused and stepped forward and headed to the first door that was right beside the living room. She opened the door and looked inside it. It was small but not cramped there was still a bed from the previous owners, though it was completely stripped of sheets. A small dresser and a closet off to the right.

The east wall had a large window that gave her a perfect view of the town Skyline and would allow her to see the sun as it rose.

Despite its very deadly effect on her father, she always found the sight of the dawn to be beautiful. With a sigh, she turned and walked down the mini hallway and opened the second door and entered what was so obviously the master bedroom. Around twice the size of the other room with a walk-in closet, that Aisling was tempted to suggest to Spike that he convert it into his bedroom, so he didn’t risk waking up every morning burning to death. Oddly enough the window here was a lot smaller and had blinds already up.

“I’ll take the other one,” Aisling said.

“Are you sure?” Spike asked.

Aisling smiled. “I don’t need a lot of room.” She said.

“Neither do I Ash.”

Aisling shrugged. “The other room has bigger windows,” Ash said. “You're less likely to fry here. Also, the walk-in closet could be better for you… if you want to convert it into a smaller bedroom so your even less likely to fry during the day.”

“Ha, bloody ha,” Spike said dryly.

Ash rolled her eyes. “There are a few extra bags in the car, I’m going to go get them.” She said turning to walk away.

“Aisling.” Aisling paused and turned around.

Spike hugged her. “I love you alright? Please don’t ever forget that.”

Aisling smiled a little to herself. “Never have.”

Aisling sat down on the floor after she had brought in the last of the luggage. Her arms hurting Spike poked his head out of the room that Aisling had claimed as her own and knelt by her side. “Time for bed little one.” He said a hand on her shoulder. “You can finish unpacking tomorrow.”

Aisling stared at him for a long moment. “Can I just sleep here?” She asked. “ ‘m too tired to move.”

“Aisling.”

“Worth a shot.” Aisling yawned before she stood. “Don’t forget to put the curtains up before daybreak, I so do not want to wake up with a pile of ash as my father.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “I won’t.”

“Good,” Aisling said before she stood up and walked to her room. “Night, Dad.” She said before she closed the door.

Once she closed the door she sighed and rummaged through her suitcase to find a white lacy short-sleeved nightgown. Slowly she peeled off her day clothes and slipped her nightgown over her head.

She sat on the bed, that Spike had made up for her, for a moment just taking in her new room and sighed. “Home Sweet Home.” She said softly before she lay down and pulled the covers up to her chin.

Within moments she was asleep.

Outside the door, Spike looked around his apartment and sighed. “Home sweet home” He echoed.

***

A/N if you want more please review. Knowing that people like it gives me one more reason to update.

[tortoisesshells]

New season, new stakes, new wigs! Turn, 2x01:

As much as I side-eye a season opener than has nothing to do with the main cast, I very much appreciate how this sets in motion the rest of the season?

Turn, honestly, should have done better with Native American representation, but at least they got the Oneida being the only one of the Haudenosaunee to side with the American rebels right.

I demand restitution for emotional damages from AMC for having to watch THAT again. And they just left Baker’s sword lying around, in the ashes? Well, I guess there wasn’t anyone to send it to oh no oh look i just made myself sad again.

Oooh, a sign that this season's Abe Woodhull is down to party murder spy?

Yesssssss the tavern scene! Anna handing off the piss boot! Hewlett looking like he's going to scrub his skin off trying to get clean after two seconds in Strong's DeJong's Tavern!

"Allow me to - this is not a - gesture or an advance in any way." LYING IS A SIN, EDMUND HEWLETT.

Although I do believe he's being sincere that he is impressed with (what he sees as) Anna's loyalty to the Crown, and her bravery in sticking to her convictions over her personal obligations?

Hewlett nervously looking at Anna over his tankard like a gd Regency romance novel hero - this season really set its cruise control to 100mph for Anna/Hewlett from day one and never looked back.

I know it's partially Anna's affair with Abe that makes her unwelcome at Whitehall, but she was never welcome there before, either.

"And perhaps made him long for home" and Hewlett tipping his hand that he feels isolated, alone, cut off as almost ... a gesture of friendship? Fellow-feeling with Anna who he sees as being isolated and cut off herself? It's not disinterested, but, as usual, I'm trash for this.

For fucks sake, Abe. Could u not convince Mary u picked up ur affair again for 5 minutes.

~Mary is too good at this subterfuge~

Hey hey Bradford you were on Mercy Street!

I mean, Bradford's ... not that wrong. Brandywine was a blunder. Any you know it, Ben!

Hey, Ben, can we not insult sex workers?

TALLSTER.

Oh my god Hewlett and Richard Woodhull being drunk bros is... adorable?

Abe, you're straight up lying that you've always acted to defend your own family.

Mary, dear, you deserve better than Abe.

YOOOOOOOOO BENEDICT ARNOLD

this is on par with the camera-work for Washington during 1x05!

Listen we all know what's going to happen with General Arnold but that's pretty excellent of him to come in with a Dramatic Entrance, talk down General Lee's argument, remind everyone that he's the poor son of a nobody with a better record than them all and position himself as an exemplar of what the Revolution is for. Damn, son.

Ohhhhhhh no Abe.

Hewlett bb I'm so sorry for everything that's gonna happen to you this season.

Rogers is so awkward outside of the woods, I continue to feel weirdly bad for him. But hell, yeah, brutal subterfuge time! The royal seal!

[antthonystark]

Could you talk a little bit about how Matt's acting and how good it is? You're always spreading positivity and I always like seeing it around

This ask is like 25 days old, andI’m really sorry, but I really neededto make sure I had the time to sit down and write for a whole goddamn afternoonabout this because, as one might have ascertained from my url, sidebar image,icon, description, and content of my posts, I kinda like Matt Daddario, sorta, maybe. So yeah, I have a lot tosay about this so brace yourself!!!

(Also, just so I don’t have tokeep repeating it throughout the whole “””essay”””, the purpose of this post is notto say that Matt is better than the rest of the cast or to say that he’s moreworthy of praise than everyone else (they’re all amazing), but this lovely anonasked specifically about Matt, so that’s what..that’s what I’m talking about.)

The thing about Matt is that he’sso beautiful to look at that people sometimesthink that that’s all there is to him, and I’m the first to agree that he isindeed beautiful to look at but he’s such a goddamn good Alec that I’d justlike to take some time to draw attention to that fact too. Unlike somecharacters like Simon or Clary, Matt (similarly to Harry as well) has to sortof undergo a more complete persona shift as Alec – his mannerisms, demeanour,way of speaking and interacting all change quite a bit. It’s more subtle than,for example, the Harry-to-Magnus transformation, but it’s there. Obviously I’mnot saying it’s more Acting™ than for example Kat or Alberto (actually Albertoin my opinion delivers the best and most consistent performance out ofeverybody in the cast, and Kat of course is excellent as well), but it’s one of the things that makes his portrayalinteresting to me, because, to me, so many more things become deliberate when there’s a more significant shift from one’s own personality and demeanour.

I want to talk about every singleAlec scene in this post but, honestly, we’d be here for days, so I’m justgoing to break things down in a way that’s hopefully a bit more brief. (spoiler alert: it’s not brief….it’s not…brief at all)

Emotions & Expressions: The Alec Challenge™

I’ve talked about this before,but I think Matt has a unique challenge in playing Alec just because of thenature of Alec as a character and how he emotes. Even other characters who areemotionally guarded are not quite as outof touch with their emotions as a character like Alec is. What I mean froman acting perspective (disclaimer: I know nothing about acting in aprofessional context lol) is that Alec, rather than just being guarded bynature – like Magnus or Jace – feels things very deeply, and then activelysuppresses showing those emotions(this was true for the majority of S1 and parts of S2), meaning that Alec oftenhas an affect that’s quite stoic and flat which he forces himself to have, butwe also have to see that strugglebetween “having deep feelings –> can’t allow self to show feelings –> unfeeling appearance” in order for the performance to be dimensional and notone-note, and this is the Alec Challenge™. And I think in this – honestly –Matt excels beautifully. It’s probably my favourite aspect of his portrayal ofAlec, because it’s subtle but it’s damngood.  Because in the moments thatAlec is allowed to be vulnerable, hisexpressions speak such volumes, and moreover, they still show that conflict.

Example 1: The freakin’ goldmine for this thing that I’m talkingabout has to be that scene between Jace and Alec in 1x05, when Alec still hadfeelings for Jace and they were talking about what happened in 1x04 with thememory demon. My heart fucking breaks forAlec here and Matt does damn beautifully. When Jace tells him that he loveshim, you can almost see him stopbreathing, his heart stop beating, for a split second, as he misconstrues whatJace says – and then after Jace elaborates, just look at his reaction – with nowords at all, you’re now fully attuned to the sort of tragic circumstances ofAlec and his deep infatuation with Jace, and its inability to be reciprocated(as it’s juxtaposed with that brief hopefulness, thatdid-he-just-say-what-I-think-he-said a moment before). He nods a little bit,like ‘of course that’s what he meant, don’t be stupid’ and it’s just so very good. No words, and the relationship between Alec and Jace is made somuch more complex and added so much more depth, just in these few moments alone.(Also shoutout to Dom for being amazing wrt Alec/Jace scenes and really forbeing phenomenal in general as well. I know I disclaim-ed this before but Ican’t help it I love them all so much.)

And then, after, when Alec says,“I thought you would think that….” and Jace says “what?” and Alec can’t evenbring himself to say anything or  toelaborate, because he can’t, becausethat would give him up, so he just swallows it down - or tries to - but just look at his expression. I don’t even havewords. Just loooooooooooook.

Example 2: Still in the timeframe where Alec has feelings for Jace(sorry if you don’t like this storyline lol, I know a lot of people don’t, butMatt did such amazing work in it that I can’t ignore it in this post! – plus S1gifs are so much easier to make on the fly lol).  The beautiful 1x07 Clace kiss, made all themore beautiful for Alec’s reaction to it. Like, here you can see exactly what I’m talking about. Yousee the way he looks away immediately, you can see he’s upset (and maybe I’m reading into it too much lol but youcan also sort of tell maybe that he’s not upset with either of them, really, but more so with himself), andthen you can see exactly how he kind of re-calibrates himself (like, you can’t show this emotion), and thenschools his expression into one that’s casual and aloof and walks away. Iremember watching this like 50,000 times when this ep first came out because itwas so good and my heart just brokefor Alec a million times.

Example 3: The other goldmine for this thing that I’m describing,this conflict in feeling vs. showing emotion, is the first Malec scene in 1x12(they’re all freakin’ amazing, I couldn’t even do the wedding scene because it kills me inside and I’d be heredoing a frame-by-frame analysis for 10 days straight). But like…I mean, do Ireally need to describe it? In the “you’re confusing me” part, you can just seeso much, the confusion, apprehension, almost fear in his eyes. I really canjust let the gifs do the talking here, but damn. There’s a reason this is oneof my favourite scenes in the whole series, and these two gifs encompass awhole lot of it. So. Much. Emotion. Good job, Matt. (Also, again, shoutout toHarry for being the perfect Magnus inthis scene and always, and because Malec scenes are so much more than Matt andHarry individually but also how they play off of each other so damn well.)

Example 4: I love thismoment so much from 2x02, after he snaps at Izzy for not knowing how he’sfeeling. You can see the hugeness of his love for Jace (sorry this is turninginto a Jace+Alec appreciation post lol, but the reason why that relationship isso compelling to me is largelybecause of Matt and Dom’s amazing performances thereof), as well as his ownapprehension and almost fear the enormity of his feelings – where Alec hastried so hard to be in control of his emotions, but with Jace missing he’s beenvolatile has not been able to exert that control, and it’s difficult for him todeal with.  Also, I want to give anhonourable mention to the opening Alec scene of 2x01, because it’s anotherperfect – perfect – illustration andbeautiful performance by Matthew of this unique Alec conflict of not being in control of his emotions,and that volatility and just how poorly Alec is in touch with himself and howto handle the enormity of these feelings is perfectly captured.

Example 5: I fucking hate giffing this scene, so I’m mentioning itin brief, but the scene on the rooftop in 2x05 is another really good exampleof the quintessentially Alec conflict of not wanting to show anyone how much he’shurting. And Matt is phenomenal in that scene tbh.

Example 6: Okay just one more real quick is 1x03, “She’s got a thing,” about Izzy, and then Izzyreplies teasingly/knowingly (about Alec being gay or Alec’s thing for Jace,it’s unclear, but one of the two), “We’ve all got our things.” The way Alec’s smile fades, a moment of insecurity, and heturns away aloof once again. Obviously, it’s a bit of sisterly teasing, and soit’s still a light moment for sure (you can still see a bit of a smile on hisface), but it’s just a subtle and nice thing okay I just like it

Another something that I reallylike, jumping back to Season 1, is this scene with Magnus in 1x09, very shortafter he has proposed to Lydia. Unlike in 1x08 and 1x06, where he has beenextremely and unprecedently open and comfortable and just generally, like,mellow around Magnus, here you immediately see his walls slam up, but you canalso see and feel the conflict thatirradiates from him, the idea that he wants to talk to Magnus but he’s not lettinghimself, and the self-consciousness of being around him in public as well,after the proposal, after he’s definitively Not Allowed himself this (I’m gonnatalk more about this in the next section too, just you wait lol):

But then, also, you see acontinuance of this kind of behaviour towards Magnus throughout the nextepisode in which they interact largely (before that scene in 1x12 that Imentioned earlier) – the “furrowed brow” as Magnus called it in 1x06, where yousee him kind of force himself to be distant with Magnus, emotionally keepingthose walls up which you can see in his expression in the following scenes aswell. A far cry again from mellow, smiley 1x06 Alec – he wants it, but hedoesn’t allow himself to have it anymore. Even when he’s smiling (“so you getit”) in 1x11, you can still see that he is more distanced, reserved compared tohow he interacted w/ Magnus in earlier episodes:

So what ALL of this does isinstead of Alec being that one-note, super-stoic character that we see in filmand television from time to time, he gets somuch depth out of these few moments of mini-expressions alone, kudos toMatt, in these moments where Alec gets to be somewhat vulnerable. You get tosee how much he feels, how conflictedhe is in such moments, and so when you have Jace saying something like “[Alecis] sensitive” in 2x08, you fucking believe it.

The reason I didn’t include theiconic™ 2x10 I love you scene is that it’s more of a 100% vulnerable Alecrather than conflicted – as Alec is learning to be more and more open with hisemotions, especially around Magnus. But I wanted to mention it to give yet more kudos to Matt for me being ableto see that development in Alec interms of the way that he emotes – there’s a distinct difference in this scenecompared to the Malec scene in 1x12 that I cited up there, for example, as Alecgrows into a more emotionally open and available person, that you can see inthe way that Alec/Matt emotes. As early as 2x05, in the scene on Magnus’s fireescape, you can see kind of a “middle” Alec, where he sort of tries to go “I’mfine” (which is another such a GOOD example of what I’m talking about) and thenstarts to blurt out how he’s actually feeling towards Magnus and is once againmore openly vulnerable. So, like. Nice.

I guess I want to say here thatMatt isn’t just goo\d at depicting the conflict between emotions, but justlike, emoting in general? He’s extremely believable in Alec’s most vulnerablemoments, and, honestly, that’s why I livefor them. Like, I could list a million scenes – the fight with Jace in1x09, the fight with demon!Izzy in 2x04, the malec scenes in 1x06 and 2x01, thedamn fucking scene at the end of 2x03, and I could go on. I guess, the thingis, this is a pretty lowbrow show, and in fantasy/YA shows you often see kindof tropey, two-dimensional characters where actors can kinda just phone it in,but in this you have these nuanced and thoughtful performances that justelevate the whole thing past what it is to make the characters so complex anddimensional – and this really goes for the whole cast, not just Matt, but alsoMatt included. (Also not just in vulnerable Alec moments, but in the raremoments where he gets to do comedic moments, he’s also amazing and justperfectly on point. Seventeen thousand,anyone? Or whenever he drinks alcohol. As a non-alcohol-drinker, let me tellyou, that is the exact face we makewhen drinking liquor and it’s fucking great. Like in 2x06, when he does thedouble-flinch after drinking the martini? Most actors who show it just grimaceonce, but there is indeed two very dramatic flinches, that’s just accurate. A+nice one matthew.)

Voice and Dialogue Delivery

So bouncing right off of theprevious section, I want to start talking about one of my favourite things inthis cruel world, Matthew Daddario’s voice. Other than his cute accent and thedumb way he says the word “something” and the way that it always risesdramatically in pitch when he’s excited or offended (I could go on), I love love love love how voice is involvedin how he emotes.

Now, you might be thinking,Mavra, come on, this is just basic acting, it doesn’t make him exceptional.Well, I don’t care. I just like it,and let me tell you why. Because ofthe above-mentioned and crucial characteristic of Alec – the inability to emoteusing facial expressions at 100% due to Alec’s suppression of his own emotions.But oh my God the voice – that little strain or hitch or crack in Alec’s voicethat comes every so often, I shit you not, nothing in this whole goddamn beautifulshow has made me more goddamn emotional than that. Because you see that part ofAlec that he can’t control – you get to feel the sheer scope of how much he’s feeling and how little he’sletting himself show it, just through that little hitch in his voice. You can’tgif voices, so it’s hard for me to illustrate, but ugh. I just. I love it somuch.

Examples: 2x05, “I let a demon in, Magnus” – you canhear it here; 1x12, “You just don’t get it…I could lose my family, my career,everything”; 2x05, “I couldn’t save you from Valentine…” and actually just thewhole scene on the rooftop is filled with instances of it; 2x01, the openingscene is just SO DAMN GOOD in every way and you can hear some of it there; whenhe’s talking to Lydia after Magnus walks into the wedding in 1x12 and he’stelling her he can’t go through with it, it’s a little bit present; and I can’tthink of any more off the top of my head, but like you feel me, right?

Also, like I said, I wanted tocome back to this scene from 1x09:

So obviously you can’t hear himin that gif, but I LOVE the way he delivered those lines. Like, he starts offhard and loud, “It’s okay.” Again, asI was talking about the scene, it’s like Alec isn’t allowing himself to haveany moments with Magnus anymore because he chose to marry Lydia. But Magnuspersists, oblivious to this fact, and it kind of melts Alec for a bit? When hesays the next line, “Magnus, I’m good, all right? I gotta…” it’s just a tinybit softer and less strident than the “it’s okay.”  Idk man, I just love it.

Also, like, he’s good atbreathing? This is utterly ridiculous-sounding, but it’s true, okay, the way Alec’s breathing was coming up short in 1x12after Magnus walks in was literally palpable and was giving me breathing problems through thegoddamn computer screen. Also in 2x10, when you can hear him literally 2minutes away from a panic attack, and that’s just so visceral and good. Butanyway, weird aside about breathing over.

And I was talking aboutexpressions a lot, but I just love the way that Matt – generally – deliverslines as well. Maybe it’s because I love his voice, but I just love it. One ofmy favourite things, because #relatable, is the way Alec isn’t so great with articulatinghimself verbally. And it’s utterly unlikeMatt himself, who has such a measured and often deliberate way of talking, atleast publicly (he barely ever trips over his words at all, if you’ll notice,instead just pausing at length sometimes), but Alec’s stutters and stammers areso well-delivered and believably rendered, I think (like, I’d like to hearkenback to the “you’re confusing me” scene from 1x12) and it’s just…Nice™, Iguess. I like it.

I don’t really know what else Ican say about his line delivery other than the fact that it’s just good, generally, it’s believable andjust, yeah. Some of my favourites of his lines actually are with Izzy (also,shoutout to Emeraude here, because Matt and Emeraude play against each other so so so so good, I love their dynamic so much and they really bring out thebest in each other), especially when he’s sort of teasing Izzy. He just has the lightly teasing, sardonicribbing thing down perfectly in his tone, and it’s so Alec. My favourite is probably the extremely sarcastic “Great job, Izzy!” from 1x03 (and really,that whole conversation). Also, the “turning over a new leaf?” in 1x07. Andthis is more Emeraude appreciation, but the whole Jessica Hawkblue exchange in2x07 was a-dor-able and theirplatonic chemistry on screen is on point.But I digress. Matt says things good, is the point of this paragraph, I think.We’re three thousand words in, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. To add onto the Alec/Izzy thing, another one I liked a lot was the biting “is that whatyou’re calling it now?” about Izzy’s connections to the Seelies in 1x06,because it was in almost that sameteasing tone, but it has such a bitter twist to it, and it was just so good.

ALSO: A line delivery (as well asexpression and just everything) I like A Lot is from that same scene in1x06 was “I knew Clary Fray would come back to bite me in the ass.” You canfeel the anger, frustration, resignation, but his voice is quiet, his anger and sense of always coming up short and being unfairly treated, asalways, below the surface (bubbling up slightly more in the “Screw the rules,screw all of this” at the end of the scene) – but there’s that bitter twist ofa smirk and I’m not making  any sense Ijust love this moment so much bye

Final thing: THE WAY HIS VOICEGETS LOW AND DEEP AND SOFT™ SOMETIMES. THIS KILLS THE MAN. Just because sooften Alec’s voice is quite loud and somewhat uninflected, outside of hisvulnerable moments (or moments like the above-mentioned ones with Izzy), likeyou’re running into a brick wall – which is probably exactly what Alec intendswith that inflection (that Matt captures so well, I’m sorry at this point I’musing Alec and Matt interchangeably lol). But then you get moments like 1x12’s“No, you’re not sick” or 2x06’s “I hear that relationships, they take effort”or 2x07’s “In good ways I hope.” Honestly it’s 2AM, this paragraph is just anappreciation of Matt’s deep/soft voice. I love. But like, it’s good acting too.A+ showing vulnerability and softness. Nice job matthew.

Okay, one more quick one that Ilove so much for some weird reason I can’t explain – in 1x05, when they’retrying to track Clary, and it’s not working. Jace says, “Alec, concentrate”,and Alec says nothing. It still doesn’t work, and Jace says, “Alec!” in areally sharp voice, and Alec says “I’m doingit.” That last line – fuck, man, it’s like quiet but not soft and it just killsme with the weight of the insecurity and apology in Alec’s voice. It’s one ofmy weird ones, I can’t explain it but I like it so much I had to mention it.

BASICALLY. I like the way Mattsays his lines. I think his inflections and dialogue deliveries are usually sovery believable, but more than that, they addsuch an important dimension to his performance, especially for a character whophysically or outwardly forces himself not to show emotion.

Body Language

I don’t have much to say on thisexcept there’s a couple of details that I really like in terms of bodylanguage, the first one being this little nervous hand tic that Alec has.Again, Alec is in general a somewhat high-strung and withdrawn/reserved person,so I like these little, nuanced, effective reminders of the fact that he hascertain anxieties (e.g. here, talking to Magnus on the date and I’m pretty sure that’s what his hand wouldbe doing when he’s telling Magnus he loves him):

It basically is just a nice andminor way to give the performance that bit more dimension. 

Otherwise, a lot of this hasalready been said previously. I really like how Alec often stands in a very soldier-like “at ease” stance, with his feetplanted wide and his hands clasped behind his back, if he’s not doing anythingelse. It’s just really nice shorthand for not only his militaristic upbringing,but his adherence to it over the other young Shadowhunters that we see.

I also like Alec’straining/punching bag scenes (for So Many reasons but no time to get into itall now) because I think it’s basically apparent at this point that Alec trainswhen he’s trying to process emotions that he doesn’t know how to process orcontrol. To that end, the scenes in 1x08 and 2x02 are very interesting to me,because unlike what one might expect of a character blowing off steam, he’sstill very regular/disciplined in how he attacks the bag – there’s no loss ofcontrol, which makes so much sense, because this is Alec’s conduit into gaining back control after the loss ofcontrol he tends to feel when his emotions get too complex for his emotionallystunted self to suppress – finding out his parents were in the Circle and hiswhole life has been a lie, almost getting Jace back and then losing him again.1x09 is different, you can see a certain anger and loss of control there(although it’s brief), and I think this is because 1x09 is a differentmotivation – this is an example of self-harm, I think, rather than an attemptto gain lost control – this is after his altercation with Magnus, pushing him away,after he proposed to Lydia. Alec is not exactly immune to self-loathing, and I’msure these events are not helping that (especially given Izzy’s “you’re hurtingyourself”). So I think that distinction is important and I really like all of thesescenes in terms of their body language.

The last specific thing I want to mention is eye contact. For somereason, idk if this is just me (I have some issues with eye contact lol), Ifeel this is a bit of a salient behavioural thing with Alec. Like, you’ll oftensee him avoiding eye contact in certain situations, especially when he’s vulnerable.1x09, after the fight with Jace; 1x05, while Jace is trying to talk to him andhe feels uncomfortable around Jace after the memory demon occurrence; his “I’mfine” to Jace earlier in 1x09; looking away from Jace throughout most of hisspeech in 1x12 about Magnus at the bachelor party; his “I’m fine” to Magnus in2x05; frequently looking away from Magnus in 2x06 esp. during the “somethingwrong with me” speech. BUT, more interestingly, whenever he wants to destroy someonein true Alec Lightwood fashion, there’s always a prolonged and deliberate momentof eye contact. I first noticed it in 1x08, when Alec is delivering the autopsyresults to Lydia, and he hands them to Maryse while literally staring Lydiadown, not breaking eye contact until after he gave it to her. Same in 1x09after his fight with Jace – he’s looking away from him until he deliberatelyand definitively chooses against Jace, and that’s when he looks at Jace, whenhe says “no”. Also in 2x09, when he especially claps Aldertree on the shoulder,looks him in the eye, smirks, and then leaves (damn son). I really like this contrast, because it’s another subtlehint at these conflicting parts of Alec – his insecurity vs. his ultimate strength.Idk how intentional it is on the part of Matt, but I noticed it and it’s like, myfavourite thing.

The Sum of Its Parts

So in the above, I sort of teasedapart separate elements just to kind of look at them in depth and in a differentway, but ultimately the whole is more than the sum of its parts. All three ofthese things, and many more nuances and details, are integrated together andare used in different ways in different scenes to communicate different things and aspects of character and motivation and emotion.All together, it creates such a damn beautiful portrait of this character, AlecLightwood, that’s nuanced and dimensional and honestly perfectly rendered. Evenwhen he’s in the backgrounds of scenes, even when he only has a couple of linesin scenes, every single thing is usually just so good that it adds so muchrichness to the character and makes it such a compelling performance to watch. (And also, like, so realistic and three-dimensional while borrowing very little from Matt himself - or rather what we know of Matt - in terms of mannerisms and such? at least, I think so) 

 Again, a lot of people like to ascribe a lot of Alec’s popularity to Matt’sphysical attractiveness – and I’m going to be honest, I do not doubt that that figures into why a lot of people like Alec, itcertainly did for me at least initially – but I also think that Matt delivers areally good performance that brings both nuance and depth to the struggles andconflicts of this character, which makes Alec such a compelling, relatable, andrealistic character.

Ultimately, I also think a lot ofwhat I showed here and what Matt does evidences something that is ultimately socrucial (and this comes through in Matt’s interviews, or at least, when someoneactually asks him a question about Alec independent of his relationships, whichlol is not too often) – his understanding of his character is so, so, so on point. And honestly at least 35% of why I’mnot going to breathe easy until June 5th is just because I cannothonestly wait to see more of all ofthis.

and that’s….yeah. that’s what i have to say… about…that….