#just gotta tag some peeps

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

[savage-rhi]

MAGENTA.

[uglynicc]

Since peeps are moving back here from twitter, it would be lovely if ppl utilized the tags in posts and reblogs for best content/cw filtering 🥹

[planetpiastri]

pairing: lando norris x fem!australian!reader [no faceclaim] summary: honestly, you kind of expected this part-time gig to just be four days of pure chaos that gave you an excuse to see an f1 race up close. then some guy in the fanzone complimented your shoes, and the rest is history. notes: requested by anon!! this has been sitting in my drafts for aaaaages, sorry love <3 y'all are so brave for putting up with me while i try and remember how tf to write these uhhh yeah this one took a turn hope u like it anyway LMFAO

liked by oscarpiastri, ynusername, and 13,024 others

ausgp Arriving in style! The lads looked great at the Melbourne Walk today 🤩🤩

view all 1,654 comments

username1 lewis and zhou are absolutely slaying!! and oscar is also there

ynusername oscar i love you but you gotta step up your game mate, i wanna wear your merch so bad but it is UGLY!!

landonorris excuse me ausgp i think my fit was deserving of recognition in this post :(

ausgp Can't compete with the hometown hero 🤷‍♂️ landonorris but daniel isn't in this either ? oscarpiastri You're funny.

landonorris

liked by mclaren, ausgp, and 811,364 others

landonorris he shoots, he scores! thanks for such a warm welcome melbourne :)

view all 7,023 comments

oscarpiastri You and I have different definitions of scoring I think

landonorris ever heard of playing the long game? oscarpiastri Nurse he's out again

username2 where's the worker with the shoes i think they're indirecting her

username3 GET THIS MAN THE SHOE LADY'S DIGITS

maxfewtrell Now that's just uncalled for

ausgp Love to see the spirit 😉

username4 aww lando always looks so happy in melbourne, he loves it here :'))

ynusername oh wtf

liked by ausgp, yourfriend, and others

ynusername busy busy busy day, absolutely buggered, but very excited for tomorrow 😁 (also peep The Shoes on the last slide)

view all 89 comments

yourfriend i mean... he's right, they are sick shoes

ynusername you're just saying that cos you made me buy them yourfriend well yes!

username5 omg are u the girl who was working the fanzone today??

ynusername i was one of them!

username6 ok if this is the shoe lady i don't blame lando for staring she's so pretty omg

yourfriend "the shoe lady" ynusername i've been titled?????

ynusername

liked by yourfriend, landonorris, and others

ynusername weirdest work day ever (included today's shoes bc apparently it's a thing now)

view all 112 comments

yourfriend that wrap was good as hell tho

ynusername deffo the most exciting part of lunch

username7 wait who is this girl and why does lando follow her?

username8 go to lovestruckln on twitter, she has a whole thread about it!

landonorris ...weird in a good way, right?

username9 your lack of rizz is astounding lando username10 bro STAND UP ynusername weird in an interesting way landonorris i'll take that

landonorris

liked by ynusername, ausgp, and 1,011,023 others

landonorris melb, you have my ❤️

view all 8,327 comments

username11 SHOE GIRLLLLLL

username12 i hope they never hard launch and he just keeps posting pics of cool sneakers

georgerussell63 You're welcome

charles_leclerc You did it, you crazy son of a bitch ausgp Where's our credit?? georgerussell63 You put the pieces in play, I moved them into checkmate ynusername you threw a shoe at me. calm down. ausgp He what???

username13 bro's collecting aussies like infinity stones

danielricciardo ?? oscarpiastri No ynusername :// landonorris 😁😁

ynusername you're cool ig 🙄

landonorris your swag style and utter disdain for me has captured my heart ynusername oh my god stop i'm blushing

tagging: @thearchieves @sheridamn @nikfigueiredo @charlig123456789 @ilove-tswizzle @aandreea2005 @sideboobrry @vellicora @eire-the-egg @marymustdie @cocote1410 @taygrls @koalapastries @vroomvroommuppett @nichmeddar @d3kstar @333kiki @ririyulife @resident-swiftie @zimm04 @jupiter-je-taime @ever_bizzare @clemswrld @hollieeelol @leireggsworld @ironmaiden1313 @lunar-racing @lightninginab0ttle @maddie-naps @bwddermilch @pnkwhskyprncss @landossainz @chaotic_version

request: hiya! i love how funny your smau’s are and i’m begging for an aussie!reader x Lando one. maybe she works for the AusGP and they met in Melbourne? idk -anon

[humlors]

Wait which billford fics pspspspsps

gotta say, it feels just a little surreal and silly to make a billford fic rec list in the year of our lord 2024, but hell yeah sure

There's an Endless Road by @agentquinn is one of those fics I reread like. at least once a year at this point. Post-canon, human!bill (absolute trash gremlin, as he should be), roadtrip with Bill, Stan and Ford. Cannot understate how much of a comfort fic this is to me. Do yourself a favor and read it

Also by Quinn, State of Dreaming is very much as the description of "One of Us AU, sort of". I remember for real gasping when figuring out what was going on. It's dark, it's just the right flavor of a bit surreal, it's fantastic

In All My Dreams I Drown (also by Quinn, I swear I've read fics from different authors) is a Pirates of the Caribbean AU with Bill as Calypso, Ford as Davy Jones that kickstarted me and @swiftboone talking non stop about this AU for months on end back in the day. Here's a masterpost of the AU of all of the wonderful peeps contributing to it!

While not really a billford fic, if you're on the Bill canon backstory high rn, please please PLEASE read Flat Dreams by @pengychan. It's an absolute masterpiece that very much made me weep reading back in the day. 100% one of those fics I want everyone who's into GF to have read at least once.

If you're not intimidated by long (LONG) fics, I slavishly followed Knowing Me, Knowing You by @f-imaginings back when. On surface, a typical 'bill gets trapped in a human body pre-betrayal' fic, but holy damn does it go places. equal parts rom com with an ABBA theme, equally character study/exploration with some great sci fi stuff

for something shorter, this fic by @marypsue is 100% one of my fave AU concepts of 'bill losing his own powers to make Ford a demon instead, making himself human in the process'. It's so good, bill being his usual trash baby self while coming to terms with the whole "being powerless" thing.

Anyway, these are the one's I can come up with from the top of my head! I've still got a whole heap of GF/billford fic recs under my fic rec tag, so that's another place to go searching! (and what the hell, shameless self promo of my own old fics lmao)

happy hunting for those fics my friend!!

[konigsblog]

I’d like to direct those sending hate to people simply writing dark content to holding adult video sites accountable if they want to achieve some kind of moral victory.

There have been multiple instances of sites like 🌽 hub taking genuine footage of rape/SA and refusing to remove it even when requested multiple times by the victim. Some of their heavier ‘consensual’ bondage vids etc have been said to involve deliberately pushing expressed boundaries by female actors that have do things they didn’t originally agree to for fear of loosing their job. These are real people- their experiences are REAL and have a lasting physical, social and mental effect.

Ghost, König etc are not real. Y/n, is a reader insert of course, but you are never in genuine danger. Everything you ‘put yourself’ into in these fics, can stop at the press of a button. You can hate it, hate the author and never interact with them again- problem solved (If only y’all would do that). In real life? A SA/rape survivor has lived through it, suffers from it forever and might have the disgusting burden of having to see their assaulter in the flesh at work, home etc.

To insinuate that a piece of fanfic that can be ignored, that you CHOOSE to engage with is as equally abhorrent as the real act is disgusting. It’s downright offensive. It’s a great discredit to us victims and shows you don’t actually give a damn about us at all.

You’ll be silent when it’s time to hold a harmful industry accountable/silent in the face a thousand men saying that 🌽 actresses ‘deserve it’ but will continually send hate to what is a largely femme community for typing words on a screen that you could avoid so easily. Yeah, I know why, there’s a word for it starting with M :)

On that note, most of these people are dead silent on other fandom issues which proves it’s vendetta, not justice based. They don’t actually care about making it a ‘safe place’ (which is impossible, that’s no one else’s responsibility but your own). Not a peep about racism, for example- can’t be assed making fandom more accessible and less exclusive to POC, gotta go out of their way to harass authors though!

You don’t have to like dark content, or even the authors. You can have limits, disdain bad tagging practices, question respectfully why someone might want to read/write such content, but don’t you dare use victims as a scapegoat or insinuate that you are in any way justified if you choose to harass or bully. Do better; focus your energy somewhere actually productive and deserving of criticism, or shut up and move on.

I agree with absolutely everything you said. These are the same people that consume pornography via porn sites, then sit and complain about people having rape fantasies and consuming dark fiction (key word: fiction). They care more about people's kinks and fantasies and decisions in the bedroom (where both parties have consented beforehand), then they do about the REAL rape tapes on porn sites. It's not just rape either, there's a lot of incredibly fucked-up, illegal, and sickening things on these sites that I won't get into. People have their trauma published, profited off of, and are violated for money, and these sites never take these videos down either.

They care too much about their comfort character being portrayed in a way they don't agree with to focus on the poor souls who have had their trauma uploaded online – and to make money off! Are the COD characters real, or am I missing something? They're fictional characters. Just because you don't agree with a headcannon doesn't mean that everyone else also disagrees. It doesn't determine their morality. And honestly, do I really think these hateful and spiteful people are victims of some form of assault? No, I don't. Because victims of SA/rape (who cope differently) filter things out to prevent themselves from getting triggered. I don't think that these hate anons are actually triggered by the content I upload and just want to judge others for coping differently. They just want to seem more moral – as if your mortality depends on your coping mechanisms/fantasies are. If you don't want to watch a video, you wouldn't choose to watch it anyways. You wouldn't force yourself to watch the entire thing, then come to the comment section and cry about how you're not interested in the topics featured in the video. You watching that video was a decision you made, a choice. You wouldn't take a kid to a horror film that's clearly 18+, then scream at the film directors for creating it in the first place. If you're not the intended audience, then don't stay. There is an audience of people who do enjoy dark fiction, and just because you don't, doesn't mean that it can't exist. The world doesn't only revolve around you. It's selfish and small-minded.

You get taught about fiction and non-fiction in Primary school, and yet here we are, have to tell adults (or at least people who claim they're 18+) the difference between the two. If you can't draw a line between fantasy and reality, then you shouldn't have access to the internet. That's irresponsibility. It's people wanting to be saviours, act as if they have the moral high ground because they disagree and think that it makes them a better person, when it doesn't. If anything, them constantly harassing innocent writers is worse than what they try to portray us dark content writers as. These are the same people wishing rape, death, and doxxing towards writers who have done nothing but be respectful and give out warnings before a story. Dark fiction writers have more empathy and sympathy than these puritans who think they're on top of the world for coping differently, because we actually understand that there are different mechanisms to cope after being sexually assaulted.

I will never apologise for writing what I write. I refuse to walk on eggshells around these anons simply because they can't act mature and manage their own triggers. These people won't bother reading the articles that I've linked countless times, or listen to this entire post. Because they're narrow-minded, that's what narrow-minded folk do. They don't hear other opinions or think for a second, that maybe, just maybe, they're being disrespectful. They claim we're romanticising rape by writing it, but don't bother learning what romanticising actually is. I've said countless times that rape is a disgusting, violating crime that deserves years of punishment. I don't describe what these characters do as IDEAL or something to WANT, if anything, I describe them as horrible people because that's how I see them. They're in the military for God's sake...

When they send hate to an author's askbox, do they think for a second about the effect it'll have? Victims go through years of self hatred and disgust after being traumatised, and when they find a coping mechanism, do you think they want to be told that they deserve to be raped again, or that they're disgusting, or that they're supporting the vile crime? Of course they don't, because they don't support victims at all.

These people are too illiterate to read this entire post. If anything, it'll go right through them. In one ear and out the other. Am I also responsible for the media they consume? As in, horror films? Will I hold their hand and cradle them, rock them to sleep because they don't want to take responsibility? That's life. You have responsibilities. You can't just drop them because you feel like it and then put it on a writer's shoulders because YOU weren't thinking.

And sure, I can see how dark fiction can possibly affect reality. But, that's not my responsibility. If someone is has the urge to rape someone, that's an issue on their behalf, caused by mental illness. I can't control what people do, just like how film directors can't control the effect that their work will have. If people get themselves off to my content, that's not my responsibility. Writers and film directors aren't responsible for the effect it'll have on others, because there are a plethora of factors that can change a reaction towards certain content, like mental illness, for example. Mental illness plays a huge factor.

[katyawriteswhump]

eternal summer

For  @harringrovesummerbingo

Title: Eternal Summer  Square and prompt: C2 “Is your dream more important than me?” Rating: M WC: 570. Major tags: Harringrove, angst, non-explicit smut, Incubus!Billy, age gap, no upside down au, dark-ish ending which is also a happy ever after, slightly soft harringrove.

and @harringrovemicroficandart 4 prompts, fingers/slipping through my fingers by ABBA, mention of Jim Hopper. WC: 570.

Summary: Billy's nature enslaved him into killing pretty things. Then Steve happened.

...

“What are you thinking about?” asked Steve, rolling over on the pillows beside Billy.

Billy couldn’t look Steve in the eye. “Just some dream.” 

“You look pretty pissed about it.”

Billy sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed. “It made me think. Listen, I’ve gotta—"

“Is your dream more important than me?” Steve’s voice cracked. “Last night you said… Look, if you were shitting me… C’mon, be honest!” 

“Jesus, you’re needy! Yeah! I meant it. I love you.” Billy scrubbed his face wearily. “Got lost in dreams about you.”

“Oh. Why the sad-face… Crap!”

Billy jumped Steve, pinning him on his back, wrists secured either side of his head. Steve giggled, and Billy melted. God, Billy was two millennia old! The heat must’ve gone to his head to make him feel like a real dumb teen.

“What happened in that dream?” 

I made you mine forever. “You accuse me of talking too much?”

Billy silenced Steve with a searing kiss, enjoying Steve’s struggles, as he moaned, desperate, into Billy’s throat. He knew it confused Steve—how Billy was always stronger. When Billy pinned him, he could never fight free.

The kiss grew rough, bruising. Billy sensed the delicious tingle of Steve’s lifeforce ebbing from him. Tears pressed in Billy’s eyes:

I figured you were a bully. I meant to fuck you all summer, then disappear, leaving Hopper scratching his head over a dead teen, like a hundred lawmen before. Then I watched you ditch your friends to look after a bunch of nerdy kids. You begged for love, and I got weak. Now I dream of keeping you always as you are right now—a freeze-frame saved from the crazy tricks of time.

“Fuck me,” gasped Steve, interlacing his fingers with Billy’s, clinging.

“Gotta go.” I stay, you’re gonna get sick and die, or else I’m gonna have to… 

Steve pouted. Christ, he was such a kid! Billy unthreaded their fingers, letting Steve’s hand drop like a stone.

Later, Billy loaded up the Camaro. A BMW tore up and Steve jumped out: “You weren’t even gonna say goodbye?”

I should’ve hauled ass quicker.

“YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!” Steve grabbed Billy’s collar, got right in his face. 

Billy shoved him away: “Dumbest mistake I ever made.”

In a flash of golden light, Billy revealed his true demon form. Steve staggered back, covering his face then peeping between his fingers:

“Holy shit! Are you an angel?” 

Billy reinstated his glamor, wondering what Steve had seen. Poor pretty fool must genuinely love him back. Only love played crazier tricks than time. 

Laughing, Billy took his trembling prey in his arms: “I’m a demon, Steve. An Incubus. If I stay, I’ll slowly suck”—literally fuck —”your life from you.”

“Wha—” Steve took a beat, frowned: “Is that like a vampire? You could turn me too, right?”

“Doesn’t work quite like that. I could make you my thrall.”

“Wha… I don’t know what that is.”

That night, Billy spread Steve out on the bed beneath him. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah.” Steve’s voice was tight. “You’re gonna fuck me all night, and then… Jesus, will it hurt?”

“No.” Billy trailed his fingers down the curve Steve’s throat, over his quivering lifeblood. Then spiralling down his spine, lower, deeper, relishing Steve’s throaty growls, the little trembles beneath his skin.

No slipping from my grasp now.

For the first time ever, Billy was gonna actually make love.

[weekend-whip]

Ninjago Fic Rec Week (2024): Day 4

Prompts: AU/Movieverse/OCs! (Catching Up! I uh skipped Day 3 oop but I've got plenty to offer for this day! Which is...also late...don't look at meeee)

Aus WITH OCs (or as I like to call this list, my own personal indulgence corner. All the AUs/Movieverse stories I've read are ones that get recc'ed a lot already + I myself have already recc'ed them at one point or another, soooo let's throw some pure spotlight onto some OC stories! Even if a lot of it is connected to me to some degree that's irrelevant):

As The Years Pass By: A fic currently in the process of being rewritten/reworked but still chock full of next-gen Dragons Rising goodness! And it stars the one, the only, Jenna and Ethan from @rainofthetwilight!!!! This fic made me fall in love with her characters and I've loved reading/seeing/drawing these two adorable kids ever since!!!!

Dad!Jay AU by @taddymason: An AU so good I'm still catching up on reading it bit by bit to savor it for longer *-*)9 All the stories in this series are worth the read alone for the accumulation of taddy's character Kaida (a girl who needs no introduction–she's that awesome guys, trust me) but also the eventual father-daughter bond with amnesiac!Jay that is gripping and engaging aaaaall the wall through!!

I Carve This Poem From the Harshest of Storms: Another I'm not caught up with YET (a running theme for this Fic Week, it seems hgfhgfdfgds i'm sorry I'm slow and have a short-attention span). It follow two fascinating peeps in The Administration following The Merge, and without giving too much away, @theartsyswissapple ‘s voices for the characters just POP and make them feel SO real and it's been intriguing to read so far so yeah others should give it a try too!!!

What it Takes for You to See Me: A Spinjitzu bros story with added FSM and Mystake goodness too!!! This is one I've just started reading myself, but you know I love some throwbacks to Wu and Garmadon's past! And the OC here, @marhan-writes-n-draws's Amka, fits into the setting like a glove!!

Honeycomb: Gotta give a shoutout to @miqotepotatoe's Lucy while I'm here too!! Some short, sweet snippets of the Ninja Team's best (and most yellow) cheerleader!! I love her dynamic with everyone, and especially Cole <3

The Space Between Us: A very deep and heart-wrenching introspective into @k1ngtok's characters Lynda and Jamie, Master(s) of Space. It's story about siblings and bonds at its core, but also be mindful of tag of you're looking to dig deeper! (it also takes place in legacyverse technically but that's neither here or there I promise)

Flowery Language Another super funny and endearing story by King following Jesse (hey it's my boy!!) and Antonia on the case to discover who's been leaving flowers in Jesse's locker (spoiler: it's not Cole lmao). It's actually a semi-sequel to this old thing *I* wrote however long ago, but thaaaat's not required reading (though it does help). If you want more of a fix for the Jesse-Antonia duo + more of Jamie, this is the story to read!

Learning to Love (Again): Yet another King fic based in legacyverse (a coincidence), this one kiiiind of takes place during Season 2/Book 3 and follows Jamie on his quest to truly show his friends (Nya, Antonia, Harumi, Jesse, and...Olivia?!) just how much he cares about them through the power of love languages over the course of a week and it is AWESOOOOOOOOME!! Soooo many touching and feel-good moments, mostly soft slice-of-life with teenagers being teenagers, and is a great pick-me up when your soul is feeling sad ;w;)/ I advocate for this one just for the warm soft friendshippy-feelings it gives me alone!!! AAAAAA—

Something About Morning Glories: Jesse (oop there he is again) takes it upon to himself to comfort Jay after the latter finds himself concerned about something following obtaining his True Potential. A duo I desperately want to write more about but can't yet, so this little bit of foundation for their relationship will have to suffice for now ;w;)/

(and if you're still clamoring for more of a certain magic pink fool, there's plenty more where that came from; perhaps there may be a Jesse-Antonia friendship origin story on deck soon, along with maybe some DR stuff~! ...listen there will never be a good chance to self-advertise like this again!! BE YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!! SELF-LOVE BABY!!!! *-*)9 )

In the Company of the Stars: A tale as old as time—a Royal!AU where the fair groundskeeper of a palace's garden (that's the OC) falls head over heels for the prince far out of his league (that's Cole)—except, the prince absolutely likes him back...albeit only as his secret, suave alter-ego. But is that really true—and, more importantly, is there bigger problems to deal with right now???? There's romance, mystery, good food, royal drama, angst, fluff, sabotage, magic, a whole bunch of flowers, Harumi causing chaos on purpose, Skylor throws Chad across a room, Jay goes on a rampage a some point, Kai can't flirt to save his life—the author just needs some fresh motivation to post the darn next chapter already because the ending's gonna be really really good ;V

[buckera]

Fuck It Friday ☔️

Tagged and tagging @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @wikiangela @honestlydarkprincess @exhuastedpigeon and my sweets whose continuous support means the world to me @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @jeeyuns MWUAH 💛💛

Hey peeps, I've been having some not-exactly-good dreams last night and then had a really not-exactly-good day, on the flipside I have officially finished the first draft of the mudslide fic. 🫡

It still has a lot of blindspots and some kinda vague bits, but the skeleton is there, all I gotta do is build on it! It ended up just over 62k and though now I'm trying to avoid guessing word counts in general, I think it'll come to round out around 70k or so. Anyway, here, have some more Buckley-Diaz domesticity:

“What is it, Chris? Where is the fire?” “Dad!” His smile was so bright that his eyes crinkled with it and it was enough for Eddie to soften and let his grumpiness melt away almost instantaneously. “The Aquarium opens at nine!” Eddie dragged his hands down his face in an attempt to make himself more alert. “You didn’t forget about that, huh?” The door to his bedroom opened behind them and Buck walked out, squinting and looking just as disheveled as Eddie left him in his bed a moment ago. “Buck!” Chris turned his head into his direction. The air stuck in Eddie’s lungs for a split second, expecting the row of questions or accusations from Chris — after all, the kid was intuitive as hell — but it never came. Instead he just pushed past Eddie and grabbed Buck’s wrist, tugging him towards the kitchen, Eddie wandering numbly in their heels. “Hey Chris, wha- what’s going on?” Buck asked, clearly still in awe of the situation he found himself in only minutes after waking up. “The Aquarium opens at nine.” He relayed the same information to Buck as well, but while Eddie just felt a little out of sorts that he actually forgot about their plans, Buck’s face lit up like commercial LED lights. “Well then, we better get started on breakfast, hm? What do you say?” “Waffles!” Christopher cheered and Buck laughed, jovial and full of love and not for the first time, Eddie found that his heart was beating to the rhythm of hope. It wasn’t his fault that waking up in the same bed with Buck, followed by a family breakfast sounded perfect. Well, maybe too perfect. “Sorry bud, I don’t think we have any left in the freezer.” Eddie informed him regretfully, but before Chris could’ve expressed his disappointment, Buck cut in. “Come on Eddie, who needs frozen waffles when I have my Sous Chef to help me with the batter?” Buck winked at Chris who just beamed up at him in response. Eddie didn’t even know what to say to that, so he just watched the two of them idle towards the kitchen before following suit.

[islandtarochips]

COD OCs x DnD: The Warriors Task Force (ft. Koa)

I’m not REALLY into the DnD kind of things but I am interested of how they create their characters. Including when I saw one of the artist on Twitter (Or 'X') showing of the TF141 in that universe. And I have asked my Discord Friend to help me understand MORE about this DnD since I wanted to put my COD OCs into that universe! So they helped me out with some info of how to make a DnD characters and also helped me to pick the RIGHT class and race for them. Soooooooo...here are the results!

Tiala Toa: Race - Sea/Aquatic Elf Class - Ranger

Kanoa Toa: Race - Sea/Aquatic Elf Class - Ranger

Agnes Falagi: Race - Elf Class - Artificer

Nigel Harrison: Race - Human Class - Rouge

Aelan Kalani: Race - Elf Class - Cleric

Alana Kalani: Race - Elf Class - Druid

Koa Nikau: Race - Half-Orc Class - Barbarian

And there you have it! I gotta say, this is pretty fitting for their classes! So now, I shall tag my peeps for I am curious of what's THEIR OCs classes and races are! If they want to or if they're into it! One or ALL of their OCs! Or any other OCs they have! Up to them! I'm just using my COD OCs because that's all I have. Lol.

Tagging: @alypink @welldonekhushi @revnah1406 @kaitaiga

@imagoddamnonionmason @dirtfullofwork @itsastronxmy

@mutantthedark @sweet-samnang @applbottmjeens

@raresvtm @justasmolbard @dreamcast641 @sleepyconfusedpotato

@cyberghostdraws @efingcod @deeptrashwitch

@yourluckyoswald

[ashsostrange]

"averagegirlie" is just "xxoxobree", formerly known as "breeandhermunches" on a burner. newsflash, your "fav" miles writer isn't who you think she is!

ik a lot of us must be VERY confused so let me help you out. @/averagegirlie and @/xxoxobree are the same mfkn person! why did bree make this account? i assume that it's so she could fend for herself and keep the "unbothered" act up on her main page. that's why she deletes all her reblogs after arguing w someone then comes over to this account to start bsing. not to mention she can say extremely problematic things with no repercussions, because she doesn't have a following on that page + it's not tied to her.. at least it wasn't before! bree's a very messy liar. i peeped the truth so lemme share it w y'all.

bree if you're seeing this, go take a couple shots before you read. you should've kept it cute but you didn't, so let's get nasty mf.

i have receipts! let's start right here cz i find this the funniest:

nobody but her spells "internet" like that... this is one of the many examples of the two accounts talking alike, even though bree said she wouldn't refer to "yao" as a friend when the whole rashad thing was going down. yesterday, i reminded yao of that. she said "i like bree, so what" but she deleted that and changed it to "when are y'all gonna catch on to the fact that we talk?" mhm.. bree's a lil confused, but next!

y'all see "yao's" tag? telling alexa to play some bs... then y'all see bree?? NEXT!

go look on miss average's page. she only comes online to defend and ride the hell out of bree's dick. remember ts w amani? why are you going so hard for someone who says they dk you like that LMFAO. not to mention, when the rashad shit was happening, bree said "this my girl and she never been wrong" but then she turns around and says "i wouldn't say we're friends" WHICH ONE IS IT MISS MUNCH??! 😭🤣🤣 next!

why we praising tf out of bree's oc? ts was ai bro. we got a self supafan. next...

look at this smart anon, putting tg the pieces and shit. "ash and dalia fight your battles every time" is literally.. a lie. what battles are we referring to? talia's never in drama as much as you're implying. and ima ride for my friends anyway, tf? but my entire blog will never be centered around ONE human being. it ain't that serious ever. "yao" and bree need hobbies cz writing obv ain't doing it for her. next.

bree has also said she's messy lol. she likes drama. hm!

look at how she came on her white horse when bree was battling the great war w anons over miles morales smut (which i don't fw, js to be clear.) who summoned her? BREE LMFAIOFHDGFKJAS... NEXT!!!

here's miss xxoxo munches being ableist, much like her alter ego. bro went silent and blocked lia after this. now let's get into miss average again.

look at this bs. ion even gotta say much.. this girl is black & not chinese!! y'all should know why this is weird. here's the "evidence" she gave me btw:

here's me proving her wrong! she tried! next.

y'all see the way they're tagging their posts w their usernames? mhm.. ik you do.

HMMM....

these are both bree. i don't mean to bring up maye again, but i have to for context. what happened wasn't js "drama"... the things she said to dalia were racist + that post she was lyin' about lia in. she also liked the post.. dead giveaway you silly bitch! 🥱 nd she was also instigating in honey's inbox. i know her typing style and her emoji colors lol. it's common sense atp. it's not hard to tell when an anon is bree. and from what i'm seeing not even maye is fw her.. LMFAISAIDHSAY GIRL YOU'RE DONE! 😭 feel free to go thru their accs, you'll see ts too. she's funny asf for this, i'll give her that and that only. i've never laughed so much in under 24 hours. 💓

in conclusion, bree is messy, bored, insecure, ableist & miserable! she thought nobody would ever find out but here we are today. she fronts not gaf but then switches to this acc to let off some serious steam... as miss freeman once said: "Alexa, play yikes!"

but bless bree 💗 maybe if you change now, you'll still be able to collect your tokens like dalia says.

[onthewaytosomewhere]

Sunday - yeah sentences & last line challenge cuz i'm lazy and doing them all in one

so i've been tagged by some lovely peeps @england-would-fall @taste-thewaste @firenati0n @piratefalls

So I need to get this thing done - as it has been lamenting on my drive waiting for me to just finish it already - and stop playing around with all the other fics so I'm posting it in hopes that might encourage me to get it frakkin' done already - and i wasted hours this afternoon tracking down one detail lol - but hey that's what happens i guess lol

So this is what I have lovingly been calling gotta sign 'em all - it's a little thing inspired by TZP and his fascination with signing a little book (and well, with him being so ACD-coded it just fits) it's a lot more than 6 or 7 sentences but i just need to get some of it out in the ether

They are nearing the end, both of Henry’s ability to continue and the line of people with books for him to sign, when the girl whose book Henry just signed peeks behind him at Alex. She turns the book to the dedication page and gestures towards Alex. “Mr. Claremont-Diaz,” and fuck if that doesn’t make him feel old, but the girl can’t be more than 13, so he sucks it up. “Would you be willing to sign the dedication page of my book? Your story helped me come out as bisexual to my parents; they’re from the US, and my father’s Mexican family is very Catholic. Seeing you have family of similar background who support you after everything happened to you made me hope mine could be as well.” Alex feels Henry’s hand grab his and squeeze it. This is one of the things that still amazes him: how in sync they are with each other. How even though Henry is drained from a taxing day, Henry is there to support Alex unequivocally. He nods to her and reaches for her book. He takes a deep, centering breath and squeezes Henry’s hand once quickly before letting it go with a smile so he can sign. Henry hands him the Sharpie he has taken to carrying in his inner jacket pockets, and he grips the pen, looking back to the girl in front of him. “I am just floored that my story—our story,” he says, gesturing between himself and Henry, because his story is and always will be intertwined with Henry’s, ever since they first started this, “gave you the courage to be yourself. I hope it all went well with your family.” The girl nods, and Alex sees the wet sheen to her eyes, the tears she is attempting to hold back, and blinks to keep his own at bay. “Yes, it did, thank you,” her smile wobbles a little as she responds, and Alex moves the conversation on for all of them. “Who am I making this out to?” Alex asks, pen poised above the page, ready to sign. He pauses a moment to read the dedication he has memorized as she gives her name.  [insert sappy – probably not good enough – dedication to Alex - probably something about you and me always maybe breaking down walls] He writes her name in the book, adds a few lines about bisexual solidarity, and signs his name with a flourish. He hands the book back to her, and she looks at the page, smiling at his words. Alex is not the most self-aware man, and he’ll admit this, but even he knows that moment has him feeling things he didn’t think it would.

oh i also got a few of last line tags yesterday so here goes for that too

He decides to help her out and says, “Hey, I see you got your copy of Henry’s book; glad ya got one before the vultures at that shelter swooped in.”

so some no-pressure Sunday tags and well if ya already posted let's just assume ya had an open tag that i snagged and i'll find it lol @adreamareads @anincompletelist @bitbybitwrites @dragonflylady77 @duchessdepolignaca03 @firstsprinces @forever-fixating @heybuddy-drabbles @hgejfmw-hgejhsf (hope ya had a good time in austin Val! (at least i assume based on wednesdays post that's wehre ya were)) @inexplicablymine @itsmaybitheway @junebugclaremontdiaz @kiwiana-writes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @magicandarchery @nocoastposts @priincebutt @sophie1973 @stellarm @sunnysideprince @suseagull04 @typicalopposite and an open tag

[masterjedilenawrites]

I gotta cuddle/snuggle prompt 👀

29 with....🤔🤔🤔 Jesse? (Or maybe Mayday if you'd prefer)

Feel free to disregard if you dislike the idea

😘💜💜💜

Snuggle Drabbles (Snabbles??) #1

Jesse x reader | 350 words

Content: post-sex snuggles but nothing explicit, I'm keeping the read more off but will only tag my NSFW peeps just in case

Prompt: Putting ear over their heart

Thump thump.

Sheets were tangled between limbs. Sweat pooled in uncomfortable places. Clothes and holopads and inhibitions had been abandoned long ago.  

Thump thump.

This was new for the both of you. There was so much left to say, not even the passionate, intimate actions of the last hour had been enough to convey it all.

Thump thump.

And yet, all you could think about was the steady, steady rhythm of Jesse's heart beneath your ear. A beat that had started at a wild pace when you first laid on his heaving chest. And then slowly had calmed down to something much more managed. Gentle. Safe.

Thump thump.

"What are you thinking about?" he eventually asked.

His muscles were stiff beneath you, his hand resting hesitantly along your shoulder. You weren't sure why, if it was due to you overstaying your welcome, if he was uncomfortable being so close, some other reason. But he was talking now, so you supposed that was a good sign.

"Your heart," you answered honestly.

He half-hummed, half-grunted in confusion.

"How strongly it beats," you elaborated. "The places it's taken you. The stress it's bared. Wondering how often it's quickened in excitement, or fear. How long it's taken care of you."

You didn't dare voice your next thought aloud, about how much longer it will continue to take care of him. There were some questions you didn't need the answer to.

Jesse hummed again, still seeming confused. You knew he wasn't much of the sentimental type, and your thoughts were likely odd sounding to him. You felt yourself starting to tense as well.

"How about you?" you asked through a gulp. "What are you thinking about?"

There was a long silence and then he finally spoke. "I'm thinking... this is nice. Really, really nice."

His hand felt heavier on you as he let it rest more fully, his fingers curling around your shoulder and drawing you in closer. Your ear pressed tighter to his bare chest and you smiled as the sound of his heart beat even closer.

Thump thump.

NSFW Every Character Tag: @dangerousstrawberrypie, @justanothersadperson93, @arctrooper69, @sleepycreativewriter, @techie-bear,

@theroguesully, @cw80831, @cdblake1565

NSFW Clone Bois Tag: @kaijusplotch, @rebel-finn, @lucyysthings, @marvel-starwars-nerd, @nekotaetae,

@severalseashellsbytheseashore, @lackofhonor, @flowered-bicycles, @foodmoneyandcats, @nahoney22

@dangraccoon, @lulalovez, @aconstructofamind, @skellymom

✨Join A Tag List Here!✨

🤗 Request a snuggle drabble here!

🏎 Drabbles/Quickies Master List | 🌙 Master List of Master Lists

[cringefail-hermitry]

I've been wanting to make a post like this for a while now, and well, having just finished a crucial stage of my life, I think this is a good a time as any.

It's gonna be a long one

Like, *LONG* long

Like, I Am Going To Mention Every Single One Of My Mutuals By Name long (if you'd rather not be tagged in the future, do warn me)

First of all, the primary purpose of this post is as a letter of thanks for the wonderful months you Tumblr peeps have provided me this year. I am not hesitant to say joining the hellsite was the single best decision I have made in the last 12 months, heck, I think about 2/3rds of the friends I mantain regular contact with nowadays came from here. But this wouldn't be a long post if it was just a brief "thanks y'all for improving my life". I'm gonna get into detail. And I'm gonna be sappy about it. You can't stop me. You're not my mother. And not even my mother could stop me from posting this.

I would've said "I thought long and hard about who I'd start with", if there was any question about it. There isn't. @tearychildren, where do I even fucking begin. I can't really say anything too specific because if I begin I don't think I'll stop and half this post is gonna be about you, and this is already a very long post, so I'm just going to leave it at this, you already know well enough just how much you matter to me.

Going onwards, another of the early spots goes to who I believe was my first mutual, definitely one of the first people I followed, @chlorohexidine, a long-time mutual and recent good friend, our daily chats, however short, never cease to be highlights of my days, your art is really cute (love me some rounded shapes) and brainstorming ideas for your TTRPG campaigns is always fun (I really like your worldbuilding, too). It's only fair to mention your (and my, just needed to make this segue well) good friend @xsenpi, infodumping touhou to you both genuinely got me through that month, and Undertale 2: Revenge of The Robots with Rei and TC has been a blast so far.

@soundsofastar is another that warrants special mention for actually changing my brain chemistry and making me appreciate the local wildlife even more than usual (if we ever meet in person, WE ARE GOING ON A NICE LONG WALK TO LOOK AT BIRDS TOGETHER, WHEREVER IT IS WE ARE WHEN THAT HAPPENS, MARK MY WORDS). Your art also makes me feel things. Not many things make me feel stuff a lot. That is impressive. I should be in a good spot to finish reading the Illuminae Files within the next few days, so please do pester me about it, otherwise the piece of media that the next person I'll talk about recommended to me will consume all the time I'd read it in.

So, the next person I'll talk about, @northwest-cryptid, thanks for letting me use our DMs as my Mabinotepad, and for getting me into Mabinogi in the first place, you've been both the direct and the indirect cause of many good times, and I gotta be honest I kinda admire you a lil' bit (and if you know anything about how I talk, I am horrible at expressing vulnerability, admiration and these sorts of emotions without a bunch of euphemisms unless I'm doing this sort of tangent where I attempt to talk about myself in a more depersonalized way, so what that sentence there essentially means is "I admire you a lot and you are an inspiration").

Another pivotal figure in how this year shaped out is @ratlesshonret, creator of The Bird Nest, site of many good times, who has exposed me and many others to some wonderful media (I AM GOING TO FINISH POCKET MIRROR SOMETIME, MARK MY WORDS), reading through all the chats in the server is usually a blast, too. Your contributions to my life cannot be understated. Seriously, thanks.

The next great friend I'll mention is @transgender-lea-crosscode, we've started talking more only recently, but have already bonded a fair bit, I reckon, damn you're good at Blazblue. You've dared to make me good at the game and for that, I commend you. You should say words about Zeroranger in my general direction sometime, I'd be happy to hear/read them.

Now for those mutuals that I don't really speak to, but are responsible for like, 75% of my total notes, like, everyone is more than welcome to jump into my DMs and start talking about anything whenever, but y'all specifically are folk I'd have started talking with regularly ages ago if I knew what to talk about. @hoshinoreika2004, @ward-leon, @edenplumreal, @tabnk2, @tapok-eve , @boofbv and @sorcerousbrick, thanks for all the lil' dopamine hits.

Shoutouts to @wretchedbirdthing for being normal about that bird, you're a blast to see on my dash and I wish you luck snapping those collarbones in twain to hear those gay little squawks.

@freiflies and @ottisbuns, alongside Tapok, Vic and Honret, y'all bring life into The Bird Nest, and although I haven't really shown up much there recently, I still read most of everything, the words are cool, keep up the good work!

@genericgirl420 and @mikusays-transrights, you two are the mutuals that suffer the least with The Distances, so let's do this in a more, well, local fashion. É genuinamente bom ver que a comunidade brasileira do tumblr está ativa e saudável, aumenta minhas esperanças de encontrar outras criaturinhas desse site maligno pelas ruas, sua presença, por si só, já melhora meus ânimos, por isso, agradeço profundamente.

Ok back to speaking in simplified Old German. This next section goes out to @lemocoffe and @teacup-of-doom, both of whom I haven't really interacted much, but what little there was was quite great, this is, in fact, an invite to do more of the interact-y thing. Y'all are cool.

Another shoutout to a frequent view on my dash, @lobotomise-me-please, whose "Boobs Girl Music" post still has 10k notes to me, I'll get back to mass reblogging it someday (if y'all wanna help, check out @boobsgirlmusic for the post, that's my Boobs Girl Music sideblog where I reblog Boobs Girl Music)

@aurora-veil, @limbuscompanyyuri and @thevanishedpeople-intothenight are up next, some of my first mutuals, y'all post good. And have been doing so consistently. For the past like, 9 months or so. That's impressive.

@meltingadoration, @holyitsquiverrflynn and @jestressofnihil, my more recent moots, there hasn't been much time to do the friendship-building and knowing each other thing, but all that means is that there's still many opportunities for that, which is cool.

Last but not least, the mutuals who I haven't quite gotten to know as well, but I'm inviting to chat anytime, @readysetgargoyle, @atlasmothss, @meeresengel, @flesh-borne, @b-kut, @aureatecenotaph, @risingdragonblade, @agender-witchery (your posts helped me immensely in figuring out gender, thanks for that) and @lich-of-lcorp. Y'all are cool, we should talk more.

And one last section for all those who I've been in touch with but aren't mutuals with, for any and all reasons (I do tend to reblog very, well, erratically), y'all deserve to be on this list, but I just didn't wanna bother you too much (I do have words of thanks to say though, if you want them, just ask).

This post is still too short to express how thankful I am for y'all existing. I don't think text could ever do it justice.

[justauthoring]

the bond - chapter twelve.

*bond: a relationship between people or groups based on shared feelings, interests, or experiences.

word count: 7037

based off of: 3x01, 3x02 & 3x03

a/n: beginning of seasonnnnn threeeeeeeee

tag list: @ernyaeger - @luvelyxp - @urfictional - @decaffeinatedtealover - @ange-lica-3 - @midzuumi - @leiriswhore - @urfictional - @frasheliza - @echothy​ - @usernamehere91​ - @happygirl5798​ - @dwarfnip​ - @hegdus let me know if you’d like to be added!

“They’re fighting again.”

“They’re always fighting,” you remind, rolling your eyes with a quick glance in Historia’s direction. She smiles lightly at that, Mikasa choosing to remain silent, while you can’t help but snort softly to yourself, stepping ahead of the two of them to pull open the door. You let them slip by first, coming in after them, the second you’re in, you cast a quick glance at Jean whose eyes are already on you.

Almost instantly, both of your eyes divert from one another, a light blush dusting across your cheeks as you hear Mikasa call out; “we’re back.”

“Wait,” Armin calls out, eyes wide with concern as he makes his way over to the three of you. “Were you just chopping firewood?”

Mikasa shrugs; “gotta stay in shape.”

“You got grabbed by a Titan!” Armin recalls with urgency, stepping towards Mikasa, shaking his head. “You should be in bed.” 

“That’s why we were there,” you offer, gesturing to yourself and Historia, leaning past Mikasa with a small smile on your face as you try to ease Armin’s worries. “I made sure she didn’t strain herself too much.”

Armin just continues to stare in worry, eyes flickering from your own to Mikasa’s.

“It’s no use anyways,” Eren chimes in, his grip on the broom in his hand slacking as he huffs in exaggeration. “I try to stop her, but she won’t listen.” Unphased as usual, Mikasa simply steps forward, leaving your side as Eren adds; “I saw her doing sit-ups earlier!”

Glancing over to Eren, you raise a brow, that’s bound to–

“How dare you, you peeping Tom!” Jean cries, voice twisting with indignation as he turns back toward Eren.

Yup. Figured.

“Huh?!” Eren calls back, just as frustrated, “how does that constitute “peeping”?!”

“That’s enough, you two,” you call, thoroughly exasperated with their arguing. It’s been non-stop lately, and although you cherished both of them deeply, you were, quite frankly, sick and tired of hearing them argue. Especially this early in the morning. 

And honestly, you didn’t really want to hear them argue over Mikasa like that – or rather, hear Jean argue over Mikasa like that.

Reaching forward, you set your hand on Jean’s shoulder, giving it a light tug as you pull him back; “stop fighting.”

Both go to defend themselves, before;

“It’s almost like we’re back in the Cadet Corps.”

It’s Sasha who says it. Everyone’s attention falls on her in surprise at her words, an admittance you’re sure everyone’s been feeling but too scared to say – it did feel like you were back in the Cadet Corps. Only, you were missing some people.

“Yeah…” Armin agrees faintly, “why do you figure we were chosen for the new Levi Squad, though? Protecting Eren and Historia is such an important mission…”

“Because we’re talented, I assume.”

Honestly, you have to give her credit. Her words don’t falter at all – even as she slips a potato into her bag.

It seems you’re not the only one who notices either. Armin, face darkening with realization, calls out; “Sasha… what did you just put in your bag?”

“That would be bread,” you chime in, raising your finger in her direction.

She sends you a glare; “no! In fact, it’s nothing bread-related!”

“Why, you!” Jean calls out, stepping towards Sasha, Eren trailing closely behind him.

Connie turns to her, setting his hands on his hips; “give it back.”

“Hey, focus!” Eren calls desperately, “we gotta finish cleaning before the captain gets back!”

“Put back the bread!”

They all move to argue, and just as you go to help, a slam behind you causes you to jump, freezing in your spot. You slowly glance over to Historia who's still standing on your left, and it seems she’s noticed the same thing as a figure falls in front of her, blocking her from your view before you slowly flicker your gaze up, wincing when you realize your fears were correct.

It’s Captain Levi.

“What’s this commotion about?”

None of them except for Eren notices him, not at first.

“Guys,” you hiss, trying to get their attention.

But Levi doesn’t say anything. Not at first. He just steps towards the table in the middle of the room, letting his hand drift across the bottom of it, and it’s then that everyone’s attention snaps to him, waiting with bated breath.

You swear you hear it, through the thick silence that swallows you all, the sound of little dust particles hitting the ground as he pulls his hand away, glancing at it briefly before turning to the group. “I’m quite sure I gave you enough time,” he says, voice blunt and emotionless. 

You wince, glancing to your feet.

“Anyways,” he continued, raising a cloth to wipe at his hands. You blink, surprised at the lack of anger — normally laziness (in his mind at least) was punished far more severely. “We’ll discuss your cleaning job another time. Eren.” The captain shifts his body towards said boy. “Hange is itching to get the experiment started.”

“R-Right.”

-

THE FIRST WEEK THERE

-

“You okay?”

Blinking, you glance up, eyes widening at the sight of Jean. he’s leaning against the door to the room you shared with Sasha, Mikasa, and Historia, a tint of concern in his eyes as he stares back at you.

“Jean,” you call, surprised, “what’re you doing here?”

“I finished helping Hange’s team with the cleanup, and I couldn’t find you. Eren said you practically rushed in here the second you got back.”

Cheeks warming, you glance at your feet; “Levi assigned me cleaning, as usual. I thought I’d start with the girls room.”

“And it’s got nothing to do with the failed experiment?”

Meeting Jean’s gaze, you frown. “No.”

But he just raises a brow.

“Fine,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest as you glare at him. “But I don’t want Eren knowing that. He already feels bad enough as it is, I don’t need to make him feel more guilty–”

“Tch,” Jean scoffs, rolling his eyes as he makes his way over to you. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Jean,” you sigh, “I’m serious. It’s silly anyway.” You brush off with a shake of your head. 

“No,” Jean says quietly, “it’s not stupid. Especially if you’re upset.”

Eyes widening, you try to fight the blush that threatens to flood your cheeks, averting your gaze to your feet as you swallow thickly. Why’d he have to go and say things like that? All the time? Always flustering you and catching you by surprise… he was lucky no one else was around to witness this, or you’d beat him up.

“I just thought I’d be able to go back home soon is all…” you whisper, digging your nails into the skin of your arm to hold back just how upset you really feel. It was selfish. You knew how hard Eren had been trying and this whole thing of him being able to shift into a Titan was still so unknown too – and to him most of all. You didn’t want him thinking he had another reason to feel awful about it, which you knew he would if he somehow found out.

“Oh, yeah,” Jean nods, “you came from Shiganshina, right?”

Biting your lip, you nod. “Yeah,” you whisper, and you swear if you close your eyes you can see the streets you used to run through, can see Ms. Schneider smiling at you from across the way and hear your mothers voice calling for you from the next room over… 

“I just… when it happened, when Reiner and Bartholdt kicked that hole into that wall, I left everything behind.” Your mother included, but you don’t mention that. “I know it’s all destroyed, it would just be nice to see it again.”

There’s a beat of silence, before you feel Jean shuffle. He steps closer to you, and then suddenly he’s right in front of you, inches apart – your head raises and you feel your cheeks warm at the intimate distance. It was always like this between him and you. You never knew how to gauge his actions. He could be so oblivious sometimes, loud and boisterous and always fighting or yelling (specifically with Eren) and then sometimes, rarer–moments like these… it’d just be the two of you and he’d be so… different.

Not in a bad way and not in the way that you meant you didn’t like who Jean was any other time. You’ve long accepted that your feelings for Jean were less than simply platonic, but you were too afraid of saying anything. Sasha often teased you, but she at least had the decency to do so when Jean wasn’t around. And you didn’t miss the looks Historia or Mikasa would send you, small smiles on their lips when they’d notice you blushing after Jean had done something. You knew how you felt about Jean, but you didn’t know how he felt about you.

You liked to think, or maybe hope, that he returned your affections and moments like these made you feel like maybe that hope wasn’t so sillily placed. There’d be times where he was so gentle around you, his voice would lower and his tone would turn serious, his eyes focused on your own… he’d go out of his way to help you with things, rushing to open the door for you when your hands were full, or offer to help you with your chores. Things like that.

Things that made you feel like maybe, just maybe, he liked you too.

But then he’d argue with Eren, and some way or another the topic would hint at or lead to Mikasa and your hopes would get crushed with a blink of an eye.

It was confusing. Too confusing. It makes your heart feel like a scrambled mess of emotions and your brain loses focus. 

Jean sets his hand on your arm, pulling you from your thoughts as your lips part and you glance up at him. 

“I’ll make sure that one day you’ll get to see your home.”

Eyes widening, you feel your heart flutter, a warmth spreading through you.

“Somehow, some way. I promise.”

He’s grinning wide at you, in that typical way of his; cocky but endearing at the same time and you find yourself at a loss for words, brain fumbling for something to say as you feel your stomach erupt with butterflies and your chest tighten in response.

“So, try to cheer up, okay?”

Swallowing thickly, you nod; “o-okay.”

His hand is falling from your arm, and you find yourself missing the contact, his touch warm and comforting. His lips are moving and you’re pretty sure he’s saying something about having to help Armin with dinner that night, but you don’t hear any of it, simply nodding numbly as you watch him leave. The second you’re alone, a breath slips past your lips and you feel yourself hot, pressing your palms to your cheeks as you shake your head.

You were acting like a frazzled little girl. But still, you couldn’t help it.

Seriously.

Why did he have to go and say something like that?

-

Another failed experiment.

It’s hard not to feel discouraged after so many failed attempts, and the mission for retaking Wall Maria to be pushed back further and further with the looming threat of it being shelved all together. Although you hadn’t expressed it to anyone other than Jean, and even then that had been minimal, the idea of being able to return home had filled you both with hesitance and urgence. The idea of being able to reclaim the wall and go back home was a soothing one in the same way it was a harrowing thought; the village was demolished after everything that had happened, there would probably be remains of the people who’d been left there to die, objects left in the wake of their panic to get out. Houses destroyed, buildings unrecognizable, the same streets you’d walked along your entire childhood would be nothing but littered with the remnants of those who’d died.

That was where your mother died. That was where you watched her get stomped on, crushed beneath Titan feet, left to nothing but pieces of a body on the ground.

That was where Ms. Schneider died. All alone. Sacrificing herself so that you could get on that boat.

And yet, it was the place you’d grown up. Your home had been where you’d taken your first steps, where you’d stay with your mother for hours while she read to you as a little girl, those streets had been the same ones you’d walked every morning to Ms. Schneider’s house so you could help her out with the daily errands. You’d spent every moment until you were ten there, and despite everything you missed it. Craved for it. Even if you knew you’d be disappointed by what you’d see if you ever made it back.

Even though you knew it’d never be the way it was.

It was your home.

It was where all your memories of your mom existed. Of Ms. Schneider.

When the mission had first been told to you, you’d had to pinch yourself to stop a reaction that would get you in trouble. You’d been both terrified and excited, but all the same, you’d wanted to. You wanted to go back. You want to take back Wall Maria, and you want to go back to Shiganshina.

But now it feels like you never will.

Not to mention… finding out a man had been tortured and murdered for information on you all? On Eren and Historia? Because they were so desperate to find all of you…

Whatever your feelings on Pastor Nick had been, a man had still been murdered. Tortured. 

Meaning only one thing, just like Levi had said, the Military Police was after you all, for information, because you were harboring Historia and Eren.

And now this? Forced to leave the house you’d been hiding in for weeks, forced to leave in a rush, hastily erasing every trace of any of you existing.

It was hard to stay positive after so many failures.

Staring ahead, you watch from a distance as the Military Police break into the house, forcing their way in and destroying everything in sight for even the briefest glimpse of any of you. It was hard to ignore the fear thick in your throat or the way your hand shook holding the gun Levi had handed you, standing there, shocked.

“That was close…” you hear Connie mumble, “if we hadn’t left right then, what would’ve happened to us?”

“But why?” Armin presses, “what would make Commander Erwin…?”

“New orders came from the government,” Levi explains as Armin turns to him. “There’s been a freeze on all Scout Regiment activity outside the wall. They’re telling us to hand over Eren and Historia.”

Eyes widening, you turn, facing Levi.

“By the way,” the Scout that had handed Levi the note from Commander Erwin, Nifa, says, “right after he gave me the message… the Military Police came for him…”

“So he’s been arrested?” you whisper, glancing around in panic.

“That’s treating him like some sort of criminal!” Hange calls out in disbelief.

Levi just shakes his head. “Someone’s not working from the shadows anymore. They’re moving for all eyes to see.”

“To go that far to protect the wall’s secrets…” Hange mumbles, “what’s more, why do they want us to hand over Eren and Historia? Not to kill, but for them to obtain?”

“Who knows?” Levi shakes his head, scoffing at the reality of it all. “Anyways, it’s clear the enemy is after these two. Loitering around here is dangerous.” He steps forward then, nodding to everyone. “We’re moving her and Eren to Trost District.”

That catches everyone's attention.

“Why?” Moblit argues, “that’s the same place Pastor Nick was killed.”

“It’s worse to head towards the interior. With Trost in a panic, it should be easy to slip in. and if somehow it comes down to it, we can use these in the city,” shifting, he pulls back his jacket, gesturing to his OMNI gear.

“True…”

“Plus,” Levi continues, “not knowing the enemy puts us in a tough spot. We need to find out who's behind this. Hange, lend me some of your squad.”

They agree without hesitation, “of course.” Then, pausing in thought, they nod to themselves. “All right, I’m going after Erwin. Moblit’s with me. The rest of you will follow Levi.”

“Roger!”

Turning, Moblit trails closely behind them as they move to their horses. Just as Hange’s about to climb on their own, Eren calls out; “Hange!” Stepping forward, he holds his hand out, a sheet of paper held out towards them, “here. I remembered a conversation between Ymir and Bertholdt. Didn’t get time to tell you, but it’s here.”

Taking the slip of paper, Hange nods; “all right. I’ll take a look at it later.”

They get on their horse, and then, both Hange and Moblit take off.

-

It felt weird walking in Trost.

Especially with the looming threat of not knowing who the enemy was. Who was watching.

You’d all only been walking through Trost for a few moments, Sasha and Connie muttering quietly to themselves as Levi ordered you all to remain calm and not to cluster as a group to look suspicious. 

It was hard not to. Especially given that Levi had ordered you to keep an eye on ‘Eren’ and ‘Historia’, otherwise known as Jean and Armin disguised as both. It was obvious what Levi’s plan was, and you had to admit, for the lack of knowledge you all had and the disadvantage you all stood at, it was a smart plan. 

You just hated the thought of Jean being used as bait.

It was bound to go wrong eventually. You’re not so much surprised at the fact it’s happened but rather at how quickly it had when Levi suddenly spins, hand stretched out before him as he cries out; “everyone, look out! Behind you!”

But it’s a second too late. A glance back, and you barely had time to move out of the way before a wagon comes barelling, knocking you off your feet as you stumble, losing your balance. The wagon disappears just as quickly as it had appeared, and gathering your bearings, your eyes widen when you see it racing off, both Jean and Armin having been grabbed along the way.

“Armi–” Stopping herself, Sasha holds her hand out, shaking her head; “I mean, Christa and Eren! They got snatched away again.”

Sitting up, you glance over at Levi for a moment, before pushing yourself to your feet.

There was no time to waste.

-

THE NIGHT BEFORE

-

“If she’s going in, so am I.”

“Honestly, Y/N, it’s not that–”

“No, Jean,” you cut off, meeting his eyes briefly, “it is a big deal.”

“Y/L/N–”

“I’m just as good,” you argue, spinning to face Levi, ignoring for a moment that he’s your superior and if you were in your right mind you would never talk to him like this. “I can fight hand to hand, and if you’re not going to listen to me about using them as bait then I’m going in with Mikasa.”

Sighing, Levi’s shoulders fall, pressing a hand to his forehead. “You’re usually not this disobedient, Y/N.”

Faltering slightly at that, you flush, glancing down at your feet. “Please, Captain, I can help. I’ll be more helpful down there then up with Connie and Sasha.”

“Fine,” Levi relents, “but you follow her lead. And you stay quiet. Don’t get yourself caught or you screw up the entire plan.”

Nodding without hesitation, he glances at you once more before stalking off. You glance over at Mikasa, who simply nods at you, but you see the faint smile on her lips, before walking off herself. Eventually, you realize, it’s just you and Jean.

“What’d you do that for? Captain Levi is not someone to mess with.”

Glancing over at Jean, you huff; “I wanna be there to help you.”

“It’s not like Mikasa wouldn’t be capable.”

You pause at that, turning away from him as you cross your arms over your chest. Of course you knew Mikasa was capable of handling all of those men on her own, realistically, you thought she could take down a whole army by herself sometimes. But still, did he not have faith in you? Maybe he thought you were being a burden just like you’re sure Captain Levi did…

But no. You were capable. Not that it mattered so much anymore, but you’d ranked only second to her – you were strong. And perfectly capable. What good would you be as a lookout? And it wasn’t like you had Sasha’s archery skills…

You could be back up. Miss the ones that slipped by Mikasa or… or something.

“I know that,” you hiss, shaking your head, “I just wanted to help.”

It must be the way you say it. You’re not facing him so you don’t even properly notice, but suddenly Jean’s eyes widen and he’s stepping towards you as you shuffle away from him, hugging yourself, before he sets his hand on your shoulder and tugs so you’re facing him.

“I’m sorry,” he offers gently as you slowly raise your eyes to meet his. “You’re the only one who argued against using me and Armin as bait. I understand why we’re being asked to but still… thank you.”

Swallowing thickly, you’re glad it’s dark out so Jean can’t notice how red your cheeks are.

“You’re welcome,” you mumble, unable to ignore the way your heart races in response.

-

The plan had succeeded without a hitch.

Nothing wrong had happened.

You were able to retrieve Jean and Armin with ease, and the men who had taken them were, quite honestly, idiots.

They hadn’t even been good fighters. You and Mikasa had been able to take them out in seconds, and you were sure that even if you or her hadn’t been there, one of you would’ve been enough – they were fools.

And that plan had finished with ease.

It was almost too easy.

“Gun shots!”

Raising a brow, you glance over at Sasha who’s stood beside you, taking in the look of wild panic in her eyes.

“From there!”

Connie presses his hands to the back of his ears, cupping them in an attempt to hear better but you just shake your head.

“This isn’t good,” you frown, glancing ahead of you in the direction she’d pointed. “Sasha’s hearing is seriously not something to doubt.” You glance up at Mikasa and Jean. “Something’s wrong.”

“You think something happened?” Jean questions, on the roof next to yours, slightly higher.

“Most likely,” Mikasa agrees with you, pulling your eyes on her in surprise. “The Captain had this message for us… from now on, we’ll be fighting humans, too, and not just Titans.”

Inhaling sharply, you shake your head.

“Huh?” Jean calls, “you mean…?”

She races forward in the next second, clicking her omni gear in action, and with a single glance Jean’s way you follow after her. It had felt wrong to you the second you’d been able to save Jean and Armin with barely any effort. No, it had felt wrong the second they even fell for this trap – you figured the Military Police wouldn’t be fooled by such simple disguises, and certainly not let them be saved without putting up more of a fight.

It’d be an embarrassment to them. It wouldn’t look good on their image.

There was something terribly wrong.

The rest catch up with ease, probably only having waited a second after you and Mikasa, and you keep your eyes peeled, trying to spot either Levi or Eren and Historia.

“Hey!” Connie bellows from your left, your eyes falling on him before lowering to follow his gaze. Your eyes widen. “There’s Eren!”

They’ve been captured. The wagon they’d been hidden in had the top pulled off and by the looks of it, the both of them were knocked out with their hands tied behind their backs. You didn’t recognize the woman steering the wagon either.

A second later, a blur breezes by.

“It’s Captain!”

As soon as the words leave your lips, a figure gains on him. Panic floods you when you see the man pull out his gun and aim it right at Levi, with the intent to kill. 

“What the hell!”

If it wasn’t for how skilled Levi was, he probably would’ve been shot – instead, he’s able to narrowly dodge the bullet, swinging his body around and latching the hooks of his OMNI gear right into the man's stomach before zipping forward and slicing him right across the chest with his blades; effectively killing him.

Feeling sick, you swallow back the bile that threatens to come pouring out.

Is that what you were expected to do…

Landing on the side of the building, Levi glances back at the six of you as you get closer; “chase the wagon!” he orders.

“Yes,” Mikasa calls out in response.

“Listen up,” Levi warns, following into step with you, “they’re used to fighting other people! They already got three of ours.” A series of gasps leaves all of your mouths. “If we’re gonna get those two back, you can’t hesitate! If you get the chance to kill, you do it. Got it?”

It’s only a second before Mikasa responds; “roger.”

But you can’t muster the words.

Levi zips forward, pulling the guy standing on the back of the wagon off, before calling over his shoulder; “Armin! Jean! Secure the wagon! We’ll cover you!”

You glance back, watching as Armin calls out for Jean with urgency before the two land on the wagon. Just as the woman steering the wagon raises her gun, Mikasa flies into her, knocking her off her balance, so she falls right in front of Jean, his blade held at her throat. Even from where you are, you can see his hand shaking, and eyes focused on him, you see the woman’s body move before she does, his name leaving your lips in a cry as he’s flipped to his butt, a gun held to his head.

Your heart falls to the pit of your stomach, fear striking you. You don’t notice the body creeping up behind you, hyper-focused on Jean as you desperately try to make your way to him before the woman presses the trigger.

He can’t die.

You can’t… you can’t lose him too.

“Y/N! Behind you!”

It’s Levi who calls for you, pulling you from your thoughts as you gasp in surprise, glancing over your shoulder only to see the barrel of a gun staring back at you. The man holding it is grinning at you wickedly, and it feels like time slows as you see his finger move, pressing slowly against the trigger, twisting your body so that you shift to the right, before a sharp pain radiates through your entire left arm, a cry leaving your lips. The pain and pressure causes your left hand to twitch, losing the grip on your trigger so you don’t hook on the wall across from you properly, freefalling for a brief moment before your body crashes into the ground a second later, the pain spreading across your entire body as you skid across the ground.

Shit.

You fucked up. You’d been too distracted, too worried about Jean, you hadn’t been aware of your surroundings and you’d gotten hurt because of it. Had anyone else–

Forcing your body over, you just managed to catch sight of Levi slicing his blade towards the man who’d shot you, stopping him from coming after you like you realize he’d been about to. Levi’s head turns over his shoulder just as he finishes, obviously trying to assess how hurt you were, but you shake your head, trying to sit up enough to glance in the direction of the wagon.

Jean.

You needed to know if Jean was okay.

“Y/N!”

It’s Connie and Sasha, landing right next to you before the latter falls to her knees in front of you, pulling you into her arms.

“I’m fine,” you brush off, voice breathless, trying to ignore the excruciating pain radiating through your entire body. “I’m fine. Is Jean…” You’re trying to catch your breath, trying to force the words out as panic seizes your entire body. You haven't been able to see–you never had the time to make sure. “Is Jean okay?”

Sasha just glances up at Connie who, pacing on his feet, shuffling forward, tries to get a look. “He’s okay,” he calls, and instantly, your shoulders sag with relief, letting yourself fall into Sasha’s grip a bit. “Armin too. Mikasa and Captain grabbed them but they got the wagon. They got Eren and Historia!”

No.

Letting out a hiss, the panic comes back and you try to stand up; “we have to go after them!”

“Y/N!” Sasha cries, pulling you back. “You’re bleeding, you have to stop!”

Gritting your teeth, you reluctantly let Sasha pull you back down, your vision blurring momentarily as the pain catches up to you. It isn’t just your arm, your ribs hurt too… you must have hurt them when you crashed on the ground because your breath felt short and it hurt to try to breathe in more. 

Everything hurt.

God, you shouldn't have let yourself get distracted.

But Jean… you’d thought Jean was going to die.

“Y/N?” A new voice calls, and you blink through the pain to see Jean racing towards you, Armin trailing behind him looking quite sick. He comes to a stop right in front of you, eyes wide with terror as he takes you in. You can’t see yourself, but you gather from the look on his and everyone else's face, it isn’t good. You know you’re bleeding, but Sasha won’t let you sit up enough to take a look at your arm. 

But shit–it hurts.

“What happened?” Jean cries, “is she okay?”

“She got shot,” Sasha calls out, shaking her head, “I don’t know what to do. She’s bleeding really bad.”

Jean’s lips part to say something, but before he can a voice interrupts him.

“We need to get off the streets, now!”

“Captain!” Sasha cries, “It’s Y/N! She’s hurt!”

“I’m fine–” you try to argue, but Levi is suddenly kneeling in front of you, pulling you away from Sasha as he leans over, taking a look at your arm. “Shit,” he curses, then, slowly, his eyes flicker to you. “Did you get hurt anywhere else?”

Swallowing thickly, you hesitate.

“Y/N!”

“My-My ribs,” you whisper, turning away from him. “I got knocked off balance and I think I may have bruised them when I crashed into the ground. It hurts to breathe…”

Levi glances at you for a second more, before he looks up, surveying the area. “Okay, Jean, help me get her up.” Nodding, Jean rushes forward like he’d been waiting anxiously for the chance, and you feel the two of them slip their arms under you before pulling you up. They hesitate a moment when you let out a cry involuntarily, it cutting short as you bite your lip, ignoring the look Jean sends you as their movements slow, feeling the agonizing pain continue until you’re finally on your feet.

“Mikasa, Sasha, use your gear, get ahead and find a place we can hide in.” Mikasa only hesitates a second, sending one last glare Levi’s way before the two of them head off. “Armin, are you okay?”

Your eyes fall on the boy, taking in how pale he is.

“F-Fine.”

It’s obvious he’s not, but he’s trying.

“Okay,” Levi nods, “Connie, Armin, follow Mikasa and Sasha, keep an eye out. Jean,” you watch as his eyes turn to Jean next to you. “Me and you are gonna help Y/N, okay?”

Feeling embarrassed by how useless you were, you glance at your feet. 

Jean nods without hesitation, worried eyes drifting across you briefly before turning back to Levi.

“Okay.”

-

“I pulled out the bullet, got the bleeding to stop and bandaged it. I don’t think your ribs are broken, just bruised. You should be okay.”

Glancing up at Levi, you swallow thickly, nodding as you keep your eyes trained ahead of you, up at the ceiling of the warehouse Sasha and Mikasa had managed to find. The second Jean and Levi had brought you there, Levi had ordered Sasha to find something for him to clean the wound with and some bandages before setting you up on your bed cot that Jean had moved to lay out for you.

Levi had then proceeded to bark at the rest of them to leave and get dinner ready, and all had followed without hesitation, though Sasha had lingered briefly with worry back at you. Jean was the one who didn’t move, just staring back at you as you tried to avoid his gaze, until Levi had ordered him to leave once more, voice sharp. He’d left then, eyes never leaving yours until you were out of sight. The second you were alone, Levi had gotten started. You’d gritted your teeth but had refused to cry out as Levi pulled the bullet out of your arm. He didn’t have the right tools, so you imagine it was more painful than it would’ve normally had been, but you tried to not let it show. You were embarrassed enough as it was, feeling useless and like an idiot. 

You were skilled and you knew that. 

You knew you were better than that. 

You’d just been so afraid… petrified at the thought of losing Jean that nothing else had mattered.

At least it was you that had been hurt as a result. If someone else had gotten hurt, you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself.

At your silence, Levi sighs, slowly pushing himself to a stand, moving to make his way over to the others. 

“Captain?”

Pausing in his steps, Levi glances down at you. 

You raise your gaze to his, frowning; “I'm sorry.”

You didn’t need to say what. You knew he knew.

His eyes drift across you, slowly, then, his eyes soften, just the slightest, and your lips part. 

“Not your fault, Y/N.”

He turns with that, not saying anything else and not giving you the chance to say anything either. But, his words provide a sense of comfort, allowing your body to ease, even just a bit, as you turn your head. You hadn’t known what to think of the Captain the first time you’d met him. You’d known who he was, of course you did – everyone knew who he was. Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. But when you finally met him, he’d seemed cruel and distant and Mikasa had complained about him enough to you to sway your opinion a bit; calling him a heartless asshole because he’d beaten the shit out of Eren the day in trial when he’d been arrested.

Still, there had been something.

His words were short and not overly friendly or compassionate, but they’d been enough. Truly, if he had coddled you, it would’ve made you feel worse and you think he knew that. 

Minutes pass as you lay there. You can hear the rest of them chatting in the next room over, but you just try to let your eyes rest, ignoring the pain that aches every time you shift just briefly. You needed to take this opportunity to rest, you refused to let yourself be any more useless than you already have been.

A pair of footsteps echo about an hour after Levi had left you, pulling your eyes over and onto Jean. He’s holding a bowl in his hands, and there’s a distant look in his eyes as he slowly makes his way over to you. You frown at the sight of the troubled look on his face. You’d overheard briefly what Armin had been forced to do in those moments where you’d gotten hurt, how Jean hadn’t, like you’d seen, been able to kill and so Armin was forced to – to save Jean. You couldn’t imagine how Armin felt, and from the brief seconds you’ve seen him, he hadn’t looked well.

But you imagined Jean felt terrible himself – in a different way. Riddled with the guilt that he hadn’t been able to do it and Armin had had to kill for his sake. It was a different feeling, one you couldn’t say you even understood; just like you couldn’t begin to understand how Armin had felt. You’d gotten yourself stupidly hurt while they’d all been risking their necks…

The guilt though? That you could understand.

“I figured you’d be hungry,” Jean offers when he feels your eyes on his, slowly blinking out of his own stupor to meet your gaze. Coming to a stop in front of you, Jean lowers himself so he’s sitting directly in front of you, glancing down at you. “How’re you feeling? Captain wouldn’t let me see you right away. Said he had to get the bullet out and then told me I should let you get some rest first. Was only able to sneak off with the excuse of giving you some food.”

A small smile curls on your lips at that; happy with the thought that Jean, despite everything, had been so worried for you.

Eyeing the bowl in his hands, you’re suddenly sick of being stuck on your back, and you shift, ignoring the sharp pain that radiates through you as you press your palms on either side of you to push yourself up. You hear Jean call your name in worry, but you continue to push yourself, lips pursed in effort as you feel his hands tentatively fall on you, hovering for a moment before he helps set you up so you’re sitting facing him, leaning against the wall behind you.

“You should be resting,” Jean frowns.

“I’m tired of laying down,” you argue, shaking your head as you take the bowl from his hands. It’s a small ration, something you’d expected given all of you were on the run and hadn’t had much time to grab anything besides the necessary. You let yourself ponder on how much everything has changed in such a short amount of time, how Eren and Historia had been taken…

So much had gone wrong.

“I messed up today,” you whisper, stirring the soup for a moment, feeling your chest tighten as you utter the words.

Jean breathes in, slowly, with how quiet it is you can hear it clearly, before he exhales. “I did too,” he mumbles, “it’s okay.”

“Everything just went to shit so quickly,” you huff, meeting his eyes as you frown up at him, trying to ignore the way you feel your eyes watering. You refused to let yourself cry, not now, not after everything. You already felt useless, you wouldn’t let yourself get emotional over it. “It’s just…”

And you pause a moment, not sure if you should say the words. But when you meet Jean’s warm brown eyes staring back at your own, not a single sound other than your voice, and the two of you tucked away from prying eyes of the rest of the team, you realize you want to. If there was one thing today had taught you is that you never know what might happen next, you never know when you might die… and as much as it hurts to think, you never knew when Jean might die. You would do anything to stop that from ever happening… but where you were now? What you were fighting for?

It would be silly to think it could never happen.

“Jean,” you whisper, “when I saw that woman point her gun at you, I… I couldn’t breathe. I felt stuck and this terror climbed up my throat and I wasn’t able to move even though I wanted to so badly… It’s why that man snuck up on me, if it wasn’t for Captain calling for me I might’ve been dead right now.”

Lips parting, Jean’s eyes widen; “Y/N, you…”

You set the bowl aside, half-hazardly laying it beside you that some of it splashes out in your rush. You ignore the pain that lashes out at you as you reach forward, with your good arm, and take Jean’s hand in your own, squeezing as you meet his gaze. “It made me realize how dangerous our lives are… with everything happening, Eren and Historia and being on the run, I…” Inhaling sharply, you try to ignore the nerves that crawl in your belly, making your hand shake and squeeze Jean’s own tighter. “It made me realize how-how I feel… about you…”

Jean doesn’t move. Doesn’t say anything.

The anxiety grows, thickens, and you rush to say more.

“When I saw the gun pointed at you, I nearly lost my mind.” You explain, “but I also realized that sometimes… I might not be able to do anything. Not with how our lives are. Someday, you could die… I could die… But I don’t want that to happen without you ever knowing my feelings.” Then, exhaling shakily, you add; “for you. I don’t know when they started, I mean,” you let out a small laugh, “I was so sure I hated you when I first met you… but then, I don’t know… something changed.”

Your voice trails, feeling you’ve rambled too long, feeling your cheeks impossibly hot. But the silence follows, swallows you whole, and when you finally dare to raise your head, to meet Jean’s eyes, he’s just staring back at you.

Swallowing thickly, you shift forward; “Jean?”

He’s shaking his head, pulling his hand from your own and your heart feels as if it’s being ripped apart as he hastily pushes himself to his feet. He still hasn’t said anything, not until he’s fully stood in front of you, glancing down at you with bright red cheeks and a wild look in his face, still shaking his head. 

“Jean–”

“I’m sorry,” he finally breaks out, “I.. I’m sorry.”

And then he’s turning, not saying anything more, not giving you a single ounce of explanation, rushing out of the room before you can even attempt to stop him. You sit there for a moment, the scene replaying in your head, before settling, and the hurt wells all over again – but this time not physical pain. It hurts deep in your heart, like someone had ripped it out of your chest.

You feel your vision well, the tears threatening to burst through and with haste you press your palm against your lips, trying to mask the soft cries that manage to slip past you. The bowl of soup Jean had brought you manages to catch your eyes, and with a cry, you kick at it, ignoring the way it splatters across the floor or the clatter that follows with it. Your body screams at you in response, and a whimper leaves your lips then as you go to clutch your arm, before staring down at your lap.

Then, after a moment, you let yourself fall back down, unable to stop the tears that stream down your cheeks, back turned towards the entrance of the room. And because your back is turned, you don’t notice the pair of eyes on your figure, watching with a deep frown etched on his lips because he’d turned back the second he’d had a moment to breathe, realizing what an utter and complete douche he’d been and most importantly, what a mistake he’d made.

But the second he sees you crying, he freezes and doesn’t say a word.

Like the coward he knows he is.

[oxfordslutphase]

Got tagged by @anincompletelist, @cha-melodius, @eusuntgratie, and @magicandarchery today—thanks friends 😘 We're back with more porn star AU because I've realized while writing this fic that I actually really enjoy writing dialogue now? I think it might just be the firstprince effect, because they're so snarky and fun and I can't resist, but I'm not looking this gift horse in the mouth!

“Vodka Soda, please,” the man said in a round, syrupy voice that Alex would know anywhere. Fuck.  He turned his body toward Henry and crossed his arms. “Watching your figure?” “Funny,” Henry said, brushing non-existent lint from his pants. His eyes dragged up and down the length of Alex’s body as if assessing him. Probably looking for something to pick at, Alex thought uncharitably. “Are you drinking or just loitering?” Theo, the blessed gem that he was, set a glass near Alex’s empty hand. Alex made sure to not break eye contact with Henry as he took a sip. Alex: 1, His Royal Pompousness: 0 “Pretty wild set up for a dinner party,” he said, gesturing around the room—the throngs of people dancing, the twinkling lights spiraling around banisters, the ice sculpture. “I would’ve preferred something a bit more lowkey, but—” Henry laughed. It was—regretfully, Alex thought—a good laugh, which Alex would admit to exactly no one. “You know Pez. He loves a good spectacle.” “Especially for his favorite boy toy, I’m sure,” Alex said. “Gotta make sure all the people haven’t forgotten about the Prince of Gay Porn.” Henry rolled his eyes. “I am certain you did not come to my party just to insult me” “Maybe you shouldn’t have invited me.” Fucking Nora. Alex had been foolish to think there was any chance of avoiding the interaction. Henry’s irritating presence had been following Alex around for years before he fucked off out of LA. Awards shows, parties, networking events. Time and space had clearly done little to lessen the fire that raged inside of Alex’s stomach at the sight of him.

open tag for anyone who wants to play (please tag me if you do, I love to peep at everyone's snippets.) 👀 no pressure tagging some folks who may not have already done this today: @bigassbowlingballhead, @nocoastposts, @sparklepocalypse, @hypnostheory, @orchidscript, @iboatedhere, @firenati0n, @anchoredarchangel