#just know this whole thing is making me legit uncomfortable

[carrieway]

in other news i bickered with ethan over whether or not im chronically ill . i think i lost .

[palms-upturned]

I’m late to this whole debacle but for the record, I have been messaged by people in Gaza who thought that I was involved in the fundraiser vetting process and sent me photos of their government IDs and documentation. I know a little of what Hussein, Nairuz, Ahmed, Ibtisam, and others use to vet people and make sure that they’re legit, and that’s part of why I confidently cite them as a source. To try and discredit them and smear them as scam artists, along with the genocide victims that they’re trying so hard to help, is fucking beyond the pale.

The reason I’ve been inactive on this blog and focusing instead on compiling resources in order to bring more ppl onto the fundraiser blog is that the work I was doing was spiraling into a 12-hour a day endeavor with just myself, and it was making me so physically and mentally ill that I could barely move or think, so I had to step back and figure out a better way to organize things. And I’m not even doing the actually hard part of this work. I do not vet people. I do not have any skin in this game as a white USAmerican. It’s not my family who are dying in Gaza. I also have not been targeted for harassment or account bans. I literally cannot fucking fathom the physical and mental strain that Palestinian bloggers on this platform have been going through nonstop for nearly a year now.

I still remember being shocked when I saw that Hussein had come back to tumblr after having to take a break due to having a heart attack. Ibtisams, who vetted people and organized all sorts of fundraising efforts all while grieving her father and little sister killed in Gaza, was forced to come back to tumblr to make a statement about how she was in an inpatient facility because people had the gall to impersonate her in order to scam people. Ahmed literally escaped Gaza because of a very well documented fundraising effort here on tumblr, no thanks to the cunts at GoFundMe who made things as difficult as possible every step of the way, and has since spent time and effort helping other people who had hopes of sharing his success. Calling these people scammers is fucking unbelievable. Some of you wouldn’t know solidarity if it bit you in the ass.

If getting messages in your inbox from people trying to escape a genocide makes you uncomfortable, fucking suck it up. Or disable your inbox, I guess. Do literally anything else besides using your platform to direct harassment and slander at people who are trying to survive a genocide. This website is already quite literally engaging in tech apartheid by targeting users in Gaza so constantly, you don’t need to gleefully join in by tagging staff and asking them to terminate people. Fucking unconscionable behavior. I hope that it will follow everyone involved for the rest of their lives.

[paradiseprincesss]

my random jonathan crane headcanons 🦇☕️🩺

i’m bored at work so i decided to jot down some of my personal headcanons & thoughts of our favourite little psycho doctor :] im talking about nolanverse!jonathan crane in these also <3

warning: nsfw themes/18+ MDNI

🧸💌💉🌙

• i think he's a scorpio sun, capricorn moon, and a virgo rising because it just...makes sense

• if we're on the topic of astrology, he'd definitely think it's bullshit - like i know he'd roll his eyes as soon as someone starts to talk about astrology because where's the scientific evidence proving this stuff is legit?

• he drives a mercedes prove me wrong; and i know he'd always pick you up because he insists on doing it. just got off work? he's there. need a lift to class? you best believe he's driving you and picking you up after

• for safety reasons too, of course

• and its tinted like im talking completely blacked out so nobody can see him because he values his privacy or whatever

• despite what everyone thinks, he drinks his coffee with cream and sugar just not overly sweet. he dislikes black coffee because it's just too bitter and i think he wouldn't even bother drinking something that doesn't taste that good if u know what i mean?

• if you brought him coffee AND you remembered his order he would pretend to not care but deep down, his cold heart is melting lol

• he wears mont blanc cologne. no i will not elaborate any further — but he does. specifically mont blanc legend

• he gets flustered when you compliment him on how good he smells i can definitely see him having a hard time accepting compliments from you

• i also think when he compliments you, it's a little stiff or awkward at first because he doesn't really know how to show genuine love because he rarely ever feels this way

• if he was to move in with you, even if you were the girliest girl ever with all the shoes, clothes, and handbags you could dream of... his suit collection would still take up more closet space than your things to the point where you'd probably have to have two walk in closets or separate closets

• he will NOT compromise getting rid of any of his suits to make space for your things, BUT he will buy you another closet/get your place renovated and pay for it so you have more closet space

• he would want a girl who is smart — intellectual stimulation to jonathan is extremely important. you simply cannot be with him unless you're willing to talk about theories, psychology, anatomy, etc with him because who else is going to be able to share his thoughts with?

nsfw themes below

• i think he'd much rather give than receive because he strikes me as a little insecure — if he's eating you out you're focused on the way he's making you feel and he gets to focus on your body, rather than his own

• his stamina is fucking WILD because the self control this man has... like it's insane? could go round after round and will let you have your pleasure before his own, not a selfish lover despite what people think

• i think he's one of if not the most selfless lover in bed because i just know he'd fuck you so good, leave you a mess and make you come over and over again first before letting himself go

• i also think if you aren't into the whole "fear play" thing, he wouldn't force you. he would want you to be kinky and he'd totally experiment with you, but he'd never ever make you uncomfortable or push your limits if you didn't want to or agree to it

• he would 100% pay for your hair, nails, etc whatever is is you want because he thinks it's even sexier when you're all dressed up and done up for him before he ruins you

• especially the whole manicured nails thing...he'd pay for you to have them done because he likes to see them while your hands are wrapped around his cock and you're taking him in your mouth, looking up at him desperately

• buuuuut him actually letting you give him head is kind of...rare? because like i said, he's a lil insecure so he really has to trust you if he's going to let you in like that? and we're not going to talk about how long it takes for him to actually fuck you without any pieces of clothing on

• literally would rather you be naked and him fully dressed for obvious power dynamic reasons, but also because HE LITERALLY IS A NERD LOL he's not confident in his body

• even though you'd die for him and kiss the ground he walked on he's like :[

• lowkey...he's into body worshipping. everyone's like oh he's into bondage, punishment, fear play, all the extremes and stuff - ok sure. yes, but also BODY WORSHIPPING. i already know he falls more in love with you every time you do it to him

• but there's a fine line between body worshipping and letting you take the reins for real. he would rather die than be a sub :]

• lowkey after care is giving!!!

• towels, warm baths, glasses of wine and if you don't feel like drinking, maybe some hot tea and lots of gentle love after

• sigh, you love your little psycho nerdy doctor

• come at me for making him soft but i believe he's like this due to 1) his actual canon backstory and 2) nerds lowkey do it best sorry i don't make the rules

• ps, the glasses STAY on

🧸💌💉🌙

taglist:

@girlinterrupted505 @ciriceimpera @jordyn-yeager @thevelvetvampyre @galactict3a

@xanaxiii @nocturnest @psylrd @bloodandglitter207 @humbuginmybones

@oceanstem @futurefamousdeadmusician @jonathancraneslittlepet @esotericdoe

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@ll4n4 @ilovetoxicfictionalmen @the-buddy-things @ellebelleshelby @wiseyouthinfluencer

@abprill @minedofmoria @strangeobsessed @5tud10-54r4h @franzine-xii

@stsrfujid @psylrd @eyraaaaaae @nyxxie-pooh @momoewn

@fauxcongenialite @ceruleanrainblues @o0laura @fiona-my-love

[dark-and-kawaii]

I loved your post about Haarlep and his pregnant little dove! But I could only think of one thing as he was sucking on her leaking tits…. Would Zevlor do that for his love?

Our sweet usually so shy paladin seeing his love so full and so uncomfortable. Her breast leaking and ruining her clothes, he wants to offer to help her but… would she be put off by it? He is just having a full inner conflict! Will he finally work up the nerve and offer? Or will his love have to finally ask?

⋆˙⟡ Tender Care ⟡˙⋆

*ੈ Summary: Zevlor watches you from across the room, his eyes filled with a mix of love and concern. Your breast, swollen and heavy… He only wishes to ease your pain, and so… He does xoxo

*ੈ Pairing: Zevlor x F!Tav/Reader

*ੈ Content: NSFW - Tender Love - Love Making - Romantic - Lactation - THIS SHIT IS SO SOFT AND ROMANTIC!!! - Creampie

*ੈ Notes: Anon, thank you for sending this because this has become one of my newest favorites. I adored writing this and I legit pictured Lofn & Zevlor the whole time. I hope you love this as much as I do!!! Zevlor is such a great character and I’m glad I got this chance to write him in a scene like this!!! Xoxo enjoy xoxo Haarleps Story

He watched you from across the room, his eyes filled with a mix of admiration and concern. Your breast, swollen and heavy with milk began to leak, staining your dress and causing you visible discomfort.

Your hands coming to cross over where your breasts would be in an attempt to shield them, “I- i'm terribly sorry, my love- i- can't quite control nor help it…”

Zevlor's heart ached to see you in such a state, “My dear, I am the one who should be apologizing for the pain that I've placed upon you. You have no reason to be embarrassed in front of me.” he smiled, his tone as reassuring and genuine as always.

You felt so very lucky to have him with you always, he was beyond supportive and loving, “Thank you-” you whispered as your gaze shifted away from his, “You really are the kindest man- i- if not for you, I don't know what i'd do-” Your hand grazed your stomach as the baby within you kicked, “I fear i'll never be able to thank you enough, Zevlor-”

Zevlor stood up from his place on the couch and approached you, placing a loving hand upon your cheek as his thumb caressed you. You leaned into his touch and sighed, closing your eyes as a soft smile spread across your face.

“My light, you have already thanked me enough-” he whispered, leaning in and gently placing a kiss upon your lips before pulling away and resting his head upon your own, “just the mere sight of you- the sight of you carrying our child... It is more than I could have ever asked for... And it is the most perfect form of gratitude I could receive…” his voice trailed off as he looked down and rested his hand on your belly, “And I will never let anything come to harm you or our child. I swear it, by the gods.”

You felt your cheeks begin to burn as you blushed, a small laugh emanating from you, "I don't even think death could tear us apart. And if it could, it would be a fight… for I refuse to live without you, my love…my shield, and steadfast guardian.” You leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek before smiling softly and whispering, “You will make a wonderful father- I have no doubt about that.”

His tail wrapped around your thigh, “And you a wonderful mother,” tugging you closer to him, his eyes watching you as you giggled.

Your gaze drifted back down to your chest, the leaking continuing to bother you, your hands coming to gently massage your sore, heavy breasts, “I'm- I'm sorry it's just that they-.”

Zevlor's eyes were fixated upon your chest, “You seem to be leaking more than usual-“ his tail twitched and he tried his best to remain calm. But the sight of you, so full with his child, your body reacting to its presence and preparing itself, had his cock twitching, straining.

Would you be put off by his offer to help? Would you see it as an intrusion, a violation of your motherly privacy? The questions danced in his mind, creating a storm of doubt and hesitation. Zevlor, who had faced countless battles and adversaries without flinching, now found himself at a loss. He wanted to offer you relief, to ease your discomfort in any way he could. But the thought of approaching you with such an intimate request made his throat dry.

“They have-“ you admitted, embarrassed, “It's all very new, and I'm still getting used to it, I suppose.”

He could feel his hands start to tremble, his heart pounding in his chest as he summoned all the courage he could muster, “I- well, perhaps I could assist you-“ he began, his voice oh so soft and tentative, “I see that you are in discomfort, and I- I cannot bear to see you in pain.”

Zevlor cursed himself for sounding so foolish. What was he thinking? How could he ask something like that of you? You were carrying his child, the last thing you needed was for him to impose himself upon you.

You looked at him, your eyes wide with surprise, "Assist me?"

Zevlor felt his cheeks flush even deeper, but he pressed on, “Yes,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, “If you would allow me.

For a moment, there was silence and his heart raced as he awaited for your response... Fearling that he might have overstepped, that you would be repulsed by such an offer.

“Hm~” You bit your lip with a mischievous smirk, “What a bold proposition~” Your fingers tiptoed across his chest, “And from the commander of the Hellriders no less.” You slid your hand between the ties that kept his tunic closed and gave it a little tug.

A shiver ran down his spine as your fingertips traced over his skin. You were teasing him, and it was driving him mad.

You reached for his hand, pulling him closer, “Please~” you begged, your eyes filled with a need only he could satisfy, “Please, don't leave me in this state of agony~”

His tail tightened around your leg, his body instinctively pressing closer to yours, “I will take care of you, I promise.” his free hand reached out to brush away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of your eyes, his fingers lingering on your cheek, “But only if you truly want me to.”

“Always~” you whispered, a gentle laugh escaping your lips, “You are the only one I would wish to relieve me, not even the gods could convince me otherwise.” Your head leaned forward, lips ghosting against his, “Show me- show me the devotion you have for me~”

With those words, the final wall of his self control shattered, and his lips were upon yours, his arms wrapping around your waist before gently pulling you down with him onto the couch. The feel of you straddling him was divine, he had you always to himself, but he felt as though he had been waiting an eternity for you today. You were both so desperate, so hungry for each other, and he could feel himself losing control.

Zevlor broke away from your lips and trailed kisses down your jawline, nipping at the sensitive flesh of your neck.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling his ponytail lose, holding him close, “Zevlor~”

The sound of his name on your lips was the sweetest music, and he would never grow tired of hearing it. He kissed down the length of your neck, his tongue flicking out to taste your skin.

“I- I love you,” he murmured against your neck, his fingers fumbling with the buttons of your dress, “so very much.”

You giggled and leaned back to give him access to the clasps that held your dress together, “and I you, commander~”

Zevlor gave a half laugh at the sound of his past title, a smirk playing at his lips.

He slowly peeled away the layers of your clothing, and once exposed to his hellfire eyes he drank in the sight of your body, his eyes roaming over every inch of you, his cock straining against the confines of his trousers. You were perfect, and he would worship you until the end of time.

He dipped his head down to kiss your collarbone, his lips tracing a path along your chest. When he reached the swell of your breasts, he paused, his breath hot against your skin.

"May I?" he whispered, his fingers ghosting over the soft, supple flesh.

You nodded as your heart fluttered, “I- please, yes~”

Zevlor gently cupped your breasts, his thumb circling the taut bud of your milky nipple, “You're so beautiful, my dear…” he whispered.

His fingers drew a gasp from those pretty lips of yours. His touch- his touch was so tender, so reverent, and you couldn't help but moan as his tongue flicked over your nipple, tasting the sweet milk that had leaked from your breasts.

When he began to suckle, drawing the stiff peak into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip- you could feel how his tail caressed the soft curves of your ass. You back arching, pressing yourself closer, wanting more, needing more.

A part of him was ashamed, the thought of his child crossing his mind, yet he couldn't stop. The taste of your milk was intoxicating, and he could feel himself throb within the confines of his pants, his cock aching to be within you.

His teeth grazed your soft tit before biting down gently, drawing a gasp from you as your milk flowed against his tongue. Perhaps it was all the years he had been alone catching up with him, the years of solitude and longing. Since meeting you he had always been gentle, always putting your pleasure before his own. But tonight, the way your milk acted like an aphrodisiac, he found himself wishing to think of himself, just this once.

He wanted to mark you, to claim you in a way that left no doubt of his love and devotion for you. He could feel the heat radiating from you, the way your body responded to his touch. His fingers dug into you, his nails biting into your flesh, pulling you closer as he continued to nurse, his teeth leaving small bruises on your tender skin.

“Forgive me,” he whispered against your breast, his voice rough with need, “I- I can't help myself.”

“Don't stop,” you breathed, “I-it’s okay~”

Your words were like a balm to his soul, easing the guilt and shame that had threatened to overwhelm him.

The sharp points of his teeth grazed your nipple again, sending shivers through your body, and a groan escaped from his throat. You felt his cock, hard and aching, pressing against your thigh as he drank deeply. Savoring every drop of milk that flowed from your breast onto his warm tongue. He was a parched man in the desert, and you were his oasis.

You bit your lip, your breathing growing ragged as his hand came to caress your other breast, pinching and rolling the nipple between his fingers.

“Zevlor~” you whined, “l-let me~ ah~ ♡“ You reached for his belt, struggling to free him from his trousers. But his hands covered yours, stilling your movements, and you gave a frustrated whimper, “pl-“

“Let me,” he murmured, his hands moving to undo the buckle, freeing his aching cock. You wouldn’t help the small noise that escaped from the back of your throat as he wrapped his fingers around his shaft, his thumb spreading the pearl of pre-cum that had formed at the tip.

“I-I'm going to take such good care of you,” he promised, his voice a husky growl.

His free hand came to rest on your hip, his fingers digging into you ever so gently, his cock throbbing as you ground yourself against his thigh, “I know you will~”

Zevlor couldn't hold back any longer, his self control snapping and giving way. He lifted you, shifting his position so that his cock was poised at your entrance, and slowly, oh so slowly, he lowered you onto his length, the head of his cock parting your slick folds.

The feel of your warmth enveloping his thick ribbed cock nearly drove him mad. Your cries as he stretched you out so perfectly, the feel of your body adjusting to accommodate him… Your round belly brushing against his abdomen…

Lost in the sea of ecstasy, he was only brought back to reality by your moans, the sound of his name tumbling from your lips as he took your breast back in his mouth. He was surrounded by you, consumed by you, and it was the greatest pleasure he had ever known.

“Ah~ Z-Zevlor~ I- love you~” Your mind was clouded by the intense pleasure, and the only thing you could think about was him, him and his cock, him and his love, him and his child.

He could feel your body tightening around him, the way your muscles clenched and released with every thrust. His hands gripped your hips, guiding your movements as you both lost yourself in each other.

“I-im- I'm close,” you whispered, your breath coming in short gasps, your nails digging into his shoulders, holding onto him as if your life depended on it.

Zevlor could feel your walls begin to contract, the rhythmic pulse of your climax building and building, the way your body trembled and shook. He thrust harder, faster, his own release building with every movement, every single time his ridges rubbed against those perfect gummy walls of yours, the way they clung to his cock and sucked him in, like your body was made for him.

“Come for me,” he whispered, his voice rough and commanding, “Let go, my love. I have you. I will always have you-Always and forever.”

You clung to him, your whole body tensing as you creamed around his cock, your cunt ready to milk him, the pressure of his fingers on your hips enough to bruise. Your mind went blank, all thoughts wiped clean by the white hot pleasure coursing through your veins. Your mouth hung open in a silent scream, drool dripping from the corners of your lips.

The way your pussy clenched and spasmed around him triggered his own release… Burying his face in the crook of your neck, you could feel the warmth of his seed filling you, his cock twitching as he shot load after load deep inside of you. Marking you, painting you white, his claim written all over your walls, his claws digging into your skin, a mark left in the shape of him.

His scarred chest pressed against the swell of your stomach, your breasts squished between the two of you, the last few drops of milk trickling from your nipples, creating a sticky mess. He could feel your heartbeat racing, matching the erratic beating of his own. You were both exhausted, spent, the adrenaline finally starting to fade.

He gently kissed your shoulder, his tail curling around your leg and he couldn't help but notice how perfectly you fit against him. Like two pieces of a puzzle. You were the other half of him, the one who completed him.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his hand tracing small circles where his child rested within you, his tail caressing the length of your thigh, his lips pressing a tender kiss along your shoulder, “for everything."

You smiled, your head resting against him, your fingers drawing shapes against his arm, “and thank you,” his cock was still buried within you, your pussy clinging to him, not wanting to let him go, not wanting to separate, not ever. His seed dribbling from your core, dripping down the length of his cock, pooling between your thighs, mixing with the fluids that had come from you, “for being mine.”

[onlyangel4]

desperate times call for desperate measures. toto wolff.

sugar daddy! toto wolff x reader

you are a struggling artist trying to live instead of just spending every moment worrying about money. toto wolff is the lonliest rich man in the world, when you find each other you are exactly what the other needs.

warnings- 18+, cursing, discussions of financial struggles. sugar daddy relationship. age gap relationship ( reader is around twenty five) there will be a lot of smut in the following parts of this fic. toto in love with someone he hasn’t met. male masturbation. smut. for this toto has been divorced for three years.

part two

your life wasn’t at the point that you hoped it would be by now. art was your biggest passion in the entire world, it was something that you loved and you were incredibly good at, but it was also so difficult to make a break through in the art space. you painted whenever you were inspired but those paintings crowded a storage unit that was worth half your monthly rent. your financials were in the bin, and you were furiously budgeting just to make sure you could afford everything that you needed. this was not living. your friends were constantly going on nights out but you had to say no time and time again just because you knew you would not be able to afford it. you were missing out on so much fun and it was driving you fucking insane.

you were embarrassed by your financial situation, the only person who knew about how much you were struggling was your best friend, anna. anna was the least judgemental person on planet earth, you knew that you were safe to rant to her about everything going on in your life, she didn’t have much more money than you but she did get to go on the trips that you missed out on.

“you know what you need?”, anna mused sat on the bed of your tiny apartment her frame threatening fall off at any moment, “you need a sugar daddy, lou has one and he buys her all sort of shit”, anna spoke and you just rolled your eyes at such an out there suggestion.

“come on anna, those things are just scams”, you spoke and anna was quick to shake her head.

“no, they are legit, lou showed me the app she uses. seeking arrangements, it is all legit. i swear if I wasn’t with tom i would have downloaded it already”, she was actually being serious.

you were going to come back with some snarky comeback for your best friend but you quickly noticed that the phone in her hands was yours and not hers.

“what are you doing with my phone?”

“i am doing you a favour y/n, this could really help you out”

you pondered her words for a moment, the last time you had seen lou she was decked out in all knew jewellery and she was wearing one of the nicest dresses you had ever laid eyes on. maybe this whole thing had worked out well for her. It could be worth a try.

“okay, but make sure you pick my best pictures”

the rest of that night was spent drinking wine and setting up your seeking arrangements profile together. there were was a good mix of photos on the profile starting with one of you on the beach from two years ago, the last time you could afford a holiday, you were dressed in a striking red one piece and anna swore that you looked like someone out of baywatch. one of you and your beloved black cat, liquorice. one with you next to the last painting you had sold, three months ago, the last time you had been truly proud of yourself. then there were a couple of filler pictures of you and your friends because anna decided that any sugar daddies needed to know that you had people that loved you, just in case they were planning on harming you, a comment that made your eyes roll. once the profile was set up you and anna both fell asleep, anna in your bed and you on the floor in a sleeping bag, because your couch was from a charity shop and probably the most uncomfortable thing to sleep on.

the following week your profile had gotten a little bit of attention from different people but never anyone that properly took your interest. all the first messages were either mentioning how good your tits looked in that one piece or they were guys proper showing off how much money they had something that did not interest you at all.  however, eight days into your profile being up you had gotten one message much more interesting than all the others, “that painting in your third picture looks familiar is that ares del maestrat?” now that message had taken you by surprise. one, because so far in all of the messages you had received no one had actually mentioned your art. and two, he was right, it was ares del maestrat, a place in spain that you happened to stumble upon on your last visit to the country, an area that you had found so stunning you knew you needed to paint it as soon as you got home.

“you are right! It is a gorgeous area, i found it by accident a couple years back, i wish i could visit it again”, you text him back.

“it is beautiful, i visit spain every year, i try to make time in my schedule to go every single year”, oh so this man was RICH rich.

you continued to text the man behind the kind messages about your work for the entire following week. you were quick to learn that his name was toto, his profile was under peter but that was only because he wanted to keep it somewhat private that he had a profile on the app because his career was in the public eye. Once he felt comfortable with you he began telling you what his job entailed, he was a team principle for an f1 team. you told him that you did not really know what that meant because you had never even seen a race. he explained to you his role and you couldn’t help but find the fact that he was so high up in such a career incredibly attractive, you were enjoying talking to him.

toto had downloaded the app due to a mix of loneliness and pure curiosity. He had been single for a few years now and he was getting fed up of both falling asleep and then waking up alone. he had heard about seeking arrangements and after doing a little bit of research on the app he had decided that maybe he did want to be a sugar daddy. he just wanted someone to spoil, someone that he could spend time with. and the idea of helping someone that was struggling with money was also something that interested him, it seemed like a pretty good exchange to him.

one issue though, toto found out that he was incredibly picky when it came to finding someone on the app. he was forever picking holes in all the profiles that he saw, some people had “don’t message me unless you will drop a hundred grand on me”, in their profiles which he just found tacky and others just did not seem like they had much substance behind them. but then he found you. each one of your photos was embellished by a genuine smile on your lips. and he couldn’t help but be taken aback by a picture of you with a painting of his favourite place in spain, now that had to be a sign. that is how you ended up being the first person that toto messaged on the entire app.

he had not been expecting to get on with you as much as he did. he educated you on all things to do with f1 while you sent him multiple voice messages about painting and your creative process. he was so interested you and listening to you go on about how passionate you were about art was something that toto could do forever. you were special and he was going to treat you as such.

after the first week of talking you sent him your number, citing that it was much easier to use that rather than text on the app. And after a couple days of having your number toto called you out of the blue. he spoke to you like you were long lost friends, there was no awkwardness at all. just the two of you talking about your days. you called every day always at the same time and after a week those calls turned into facetimes and toto was sure that he would never get bored of seeing your face flash up on his screen. you became the favourite part of his day. he actually began secretly purchasing your paintings, going through art dealers. making sure that his identity was hidden. every time you sold a painting you sent him a picture of you with the painting and he was so happy to see your smiling face, knowing that he was the reason for it made his heart swell with pride.

you were actually the first one to bring up meeting but you were too much of a pussy to do it over the phone, “so mister f1, when would you be free to meet in person, i like talking to you :)”, you had text him and as soon as toto saw that message his heart started hammering in his chest.

“well we have summer break starting next week, i can fly to London and we can meet there”, he had text back, making you smile brightly.

“i’ll see you then”

“darling, send me your address, i will send a car to pick you up”, you did as you were told, this man way only want you to provide company for him but you felt a need to oblige him. from your messages and times spent calling him you had learnt that he had a very dominant presence, one that never failed to make you go weak at the knees.

your message could not have come at a better time, you were driving toto mad with all your cute pictures and messages but toto had realised that he really needed to see you the moment he found himself with his fist around his cock, one hand looking through the pictures that were on your profile coupled with a few pictures that you had sent him privately when he asked to see more pictures that you had. he was rubbing his cock thinking about a girl that he had never met, a girl that just wanted a sugar daddy but he could not help it, something about you just made him moan your name as his chest heaved up and down, head tilting back slightly. And as he came onto his bed sheets he made a promise to himself. he was going to treat you so good you would not be able to find a reason to leave. and that was the night that you text him about meeting, it was like you could read his mind.

[v88sy]

I'm going to jump on the "no one asked me but I'm going to tell you anyways" train of the 5 BuckTommy head canons. (Heavily Tommy centric because 🤷🏼‍♀️)

• One thing Tommy swore he'd never do is yell at Evan in anger, no matter how mad or frustrated he might get. Sure, that might result in him having to take a deep breath and walk away, but he spent far too many nights in his room as a kid listening to his parents fight, yell and scream. It never resolved anything, and only made things worse. He can't go down that road.

• Tommy actually doesn't like going on commercial flights. He knows it's weird considering, but passenger jets make him nervous. Not full on panic attack nervous, but enough to be uncomfortable in his seat for the entire flight. If a place is close enough that he can take the chopper, he'll do it regardless of how much more it might cost him. He's not sure if it's all those people crammed like sardines in a tight space, the fact that he's flying in something he has no control over, or just the childhood memories of constantly traveling back and forth between his divorced parents.*

• I fully believe they both bought engagement rings only months into their relationship, but are insistent on waiting for the other to propose or bring up the subject, for fear of it seeming too soon. Especially Tommy. He's had a ring for months but is so determined for everything to be at Buck's pace that he sometimes forgets he even has it in the first place.

• Buck bought Tommy a really expensive pair of polarized aviator sunglasses to use to work during the day, after he read somewhere that blue/light colored eyes are more sensitive to the sun.** We're talking really expensive, super protective with all the available coating options on the lenses. And if he paid extra for a custom engraving of Be Safe on the inside arm of the glasses, well that was no one's business but theirs. And no, it wasn't for his birthday or Christmas. “Because you're literally close to the sun."

😏 “Every single day.” 😏

• Tommy was a space nerd growing up.

*So, this got me thinking about the plane we keep seeing on the BTS shots. What if! What if Tommy had to take a flight, somewhere so far away that taking the helicopter wasn't a option. He's already uncomfortable to begin with, coupled with whatever dragged him away in the first place, and then...downed plane.

**I'm pretty sure this is a legit and actual fact. One that I thought about often a week or two back when I was walking around outside in the sun a lot and waiting in line at a baseball game, the whole time thinking about how much the sun was hurting my eyes.

[helluvapurf]

...so uhhhhh, "Apology Tour" was... *interesting*-

Didn't even seem that long ago since "Full Moon" came out so I didn't expect another ep drop this morning, buuuut welp! Lets discuss:

First off just to smoothen things up a bit, The Positives:

-Animation & visuals were quite pretty, and wasn't expecting the whole "spooky Halloween" aesthetic at Verosika's party (tho that may just be the summer season speaking lol) but hey, I kinda dig it~ 👀

-Verosika in-general, I was super stoked to see more of here! 💜and even with her staying pretty sassy/bitter towards Blitz... its honestly hard not to feel for her once she & him finally had that one-on-one convo (even revealing that she did legit love him... but Blitz simply couldn't stay with her due to his own commitment/intimacy issues ;-; ). And even if it was technically more of a pettiness move to theme her party around hating Blitz... in a way, its lowkey kinda sweet how much she wanted to help others "heal" from heartbreak? Aww... 🥺 Idk, do I still wish Verosika could've been more of the "major" character focus here (as Fizzarolli was in his past couple eps)? Absolutely. But for what its worth... I had fun watching her as I did💗 (& hopefully this won't be the last time Verosika appears story-wise, cause oml imagine the bonding potential of her, Blitz & Fizz as a reunited trio lol)

-That one incubus dude that flirted with Stolas (+kissed him) at the end seemed like a chill dude. Even if he most likely won't appear again, his vibe was fun to watch lol.

-OH, we finally get to see Mrs. Mayberry again, sweet~! :> ...and, she's apparently dating Martha now? Huh, thats... interesting, I guess? .3. (*wonder what happened to her husband/kids tho, 'cause I kiiiinda thought they would've landed in Hell too ngl-*)

...aaaaand okay yeah, that'll cover the Positives I've got atm. Now for The Negatives... ohhhhh boy:

-I... guess I'm not super alone in this opinion rn from what I've read from other fans, buuuuut... Stolas can you shut your entitled-hypocrite-mouth up for five minutes, please?? 🤦‍♀️Like, I know the dude's still reeling from how "Full Moon" ended, so him being in a mixed mood is to be expected tbh... but omllllll the way he was just SO smug, dramatic and pushy about being the "good guy" in how he & Blitz ended (-as if HE wasn't the one who set up their whole "transactional" dynamic since the start of the freakin' show?? =_=), even whining about the events of "Western Energy" (-when all Blitz was doing was prioritizing his daughter's well-being at the hospital, like a good dad should), was just... seriously?? >> Like... yes, Blitz may be a whole mess himself with how he's treated others (esp poor Verosika 💔), but that does NOT make Stolas a saint with how he handled things himself. From hanging the Grimoire over Blitz's head, creeping on him again & again, practically ragdoll-ing the poor guy's feelings during the crystal exchange (not even skipping a bit when Blitz was close to crying), aaaaand not to mention...

...so like, tell me how I'm expected to believe Blitz is the one who needs to do all this apologizing/groveling... WHEN HE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING TO STOLAS EXCEPT (RIGHTFULLY) CALLING THIS BLUEBLOOD BIRD OUT ON HIS BS?? 😑

*sighs* Sorry, didn't mean to get heated there but... yiiiikes is this show sending so many mixed messages of where I'm supposed to stand with these two, I can't keep up anymore- 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

-As much as I get what the ep was trying to do in having Blitz see past his own ego/apologize to others… Iiiiii'd be lying if I said I didn't feel just a tad bit uncomfortable at the increasing Blitz hate, throughout the party-sequence ^^; Like, I know he's a shitty guy who's done shitty things, and absolutely he needs to recognize how much he's hurt those like Verosika (& his other exes)… buuuuut tying into my previous point, it just rings rather unfair that most of this seems mostly spurned from him rejecting Stolas, of all people? ._. When… again, they were NEVER an actual couple like him & Verosika were, instead were just a simple once-a-month hookup deal that soured 'cause of Stolas' mess of a "confession"… y'all really expect me to believe Blitz is the bad guy for not immediately accepting the "feefee's" of a privileged, horny prince (aka: the one who did hold the Grimoire over his head since S1's "Murder Family")? …Ehhhh, sorry but I am NOT buying that crap lmao -x- 👎

[infictionalwonderland]

Hey girl I’ve just seen your Elijah x plus reader post, could you do one for klaus?

klaus mikaelson x plus size reader headcanons:

— warnings, lots of talks of body image, insecurities of weight & appearance, talks of binge eating, KLAUS BEING THE BEST BOYFRIEND!!!

first of all, klaus thinks you’re the most beautiful person to ever walk this earth bro

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL

he adores you so much bby

this man will legit get mad if you mention anything negative about your appearance

“do you think my stomach looks werid in this d—“ “no, my love, it does not. please stop with this utter nonsense, you look as beautiful as you always do. extremely, extremely beautiful.”

“i don’t like the way my arms—“ “little love, if you even think about finishing that sentence with an insult to your heavenly self, i will throw you over my lap and spank your arse raw.”

you finished the sentence

WHENEVER HE BUYS YOU CLOTHES HE ALWAYS BUYS YOU FIGURE COMPLIMENTING THINGS!!

he loves you are ur body an actually obsessive amount 😋😋😋

“why would you even want to hide such beauty?”

LITERAL HEART EYEESSSSSS

when you wear said clothes his whole breathing stops, his eyes widen, he blushes, he stutters

he’s actually a little simp for you icl

ofc if you say to him the clothes that gets you, you won’t wear bc they make you genuinely uncomfortable - he will stop

BUTTTTT continuously tries to convince you bc he genuinely doesn’t understand why you would ever want to hide your body away when it’s so perfect and beautiful

he never oversteps any of this boundaries with you tho!!

if you tell why they make you uncomfortable (i,e they highlight my figure etc) he’ll just be SOOO confused

“that is the point, my love. your body is gorgeous - why would you want to hide it?”

I WOULD DIE

if you ever tell him you’re scared he won’t be able to lift you bc of ur weight or something…

he’s always picking you up, spinning you around, carrying you places, making you sit in his lap even if there’s a chair available to you just to prove you’re being RIDICULOUS

he’s all smirks and dimples as well like ‘you sure about that love’

when or if you decide to open up to him about your binges and cravings - he takes it all very seriously, anything to help his little love!!!

he’ll explain to you how he manages to get over his cravings for blood and try to help you if that’s what you want

BUT HES JUST FULL OF SOOO MUCH REASSURANCE AND LOVE FOR YOU BABE

hes actually the best bf

don’t every try test me on that

he knows that expressions on your face when you start feeling insecure about yourself and your body and immediately he’s there with you and kissing you all over your face, pulling you away from everyone else and whispering compliments

and/or taking the piss out of the people around you to distract you and make you laugh that laugh of yours he loves so much

my man 😋😋😋😋😋

[stuckinapril]

don’t know if you’ve already shared (or if you wouldn’t like to) but i’d love to hear about your resolutions and goals for this year!

Hi so sorry for how late this is!! I have quite a few!

Ins —

Being more decisive. Trusting myself w calling the shots. Just making a decision and sticking w it.

Financial literacy

More reading. Just more.

Attacking things I’m uncomfortable with instead of shying away from them.

More silence. I don’t need to have my earphones in all the time

More time w family!!! I need to put in as much effort to connect w them as I do w my friends

Green tea every night

More pictures. I have a serious problem of just not being incentivized to take any

More scientific literature for fun!!

Piggybacking off that point—making it instinctive to apply things I study to real life situations. This is a niche one but it just helps me process stuff faster and I just think it’s a super dope learning technique

Pushing myself harder. It’s just not my preference to be mediocre.

Nourishing myself w my own affirmations. Cutting out my need for other people’s validation

Educational documentaries

Making more of an effort to connect w my Arab heritage

Being my natural self. It’s okay if I’m not bubbly all the time. Sometimes I just want to chill

Whole foods

Less phone time (I say this every year but like I want 2024 to be the year I’m truly disconnected/using my phone in a healthy way)

Body oils!

More tennis dates w friends!

10k steps a day

Sticking religiously to my hour by hour schedule

Keeping promises to myself as ardently as I keep promises to others

Being more bold w fashion!!

Hitting the gym 5 days a week

Reading more literature in Arabic and French

Learning how to cook. I cannot live off Siggi’s for the rest of my life lol

Exploring more music genres

Learning the piano!!

No longer feeling guilty for withholding information. Privacy is not a bad thing.

Getting more and more independent!!

Becoming the friend I want to be. Other people need to show up as well, but I can’t hold people up to standards I myself can’t reach.

Outs —

Centralizing luxury brands. Thinking that price equates to quality. The fact of the matter is quality equates to quality. Price is irrelevant.

Relying on snap judgment responses to situations. I need to learn to wait at least 15 minutes. I can be impulsive asf

Jumpiness. Nervous energy. I just want to be more calm and controlled in how I carry myself. I want to exude self-assuredness

Checking my phone first thing in the morning!!

Drinking less than 3 liters of water a day

Being available all the fucking time. If someone has an issue w me for being busy, maybe they’re not someone I want in my life in the first place.

Being too forgiving. Not immediately allowing someone back into my life doesn’t make me a bitch. Immediately running to fix things w someone doesn’t make me selfless. Being the bigger person in situations where I was nowhere near in the wrong doesn’t make me mature. It’s just symptomatic of a lack of boundaries.

Consuming dumb shit in the name of “keeping up w pop culture.” I don’t care about celebrity controversy #7282727. I don’t care about celebrity selfie #827226. It doesn’t elevate my life in any way. I legit just don’t care. And this goes for real life gossip w friends too

Taking too long to text back!! A day is fine, but sometimes I take longer and I think that’s a shitty trait to have. I can absolutely afford to respond to people faster.

Too much chocolate!! I’m a sweet tooth but I must preserve my skin/overall health

Motivation over discipline. I need to be attuned to discipline always.

Control freak antics. I can’t control people. It’s not my responsibility. They’ll act how they act. All I can do is control my reaction to it

Rumination/unhealthy venting. When I’m done w something, I’m done w something.

Overcompensating for other people’s shortcomings. It’s not my responsibility to coddle others. It’s okay if something is too much for me.

Having no boundaries w others. People aren’t entitled to private information. It doesn’t make me deceptive to withhold things—it just makes me selective. People need to earn private details about me.

Curating things I like. I simply like what I like. It’s not that deep.

[chaosresturantjandn4eva]

I just need a minute to have a little rant. 😬

I was a Lukola shipper myself.. I fell for the longing looks shared between N & L, the unhinged comments to one another, the hand holding, the “professional” jealousy.. all of it.. I thought for sure these two must be into one another.. but then the pap pictures dropped and my ass jumped ship. I fell from the land of Lukola back to reality in seconds. Won’t lie.. it hurt just a bit. 😅 but I appreciated those pictures dropping because this gal needed her life back. 😆 Here is where my rant begins.. I apologize ahead of time if this is all over the place.. I’ll blame my ADHD & lack of sleep on that.

Listen, I know we were all caught up with the PR tour between L & N. It felt real. I get it. They sold the damn thing. However the reality of it ending hasn’t reality’d enough for certain people yet & I am beginning to think it won’t for many. I have no issue with delulu and shipping.. but it’s becoming uncomfortable at this point. I’ve had to remove people that I followed on TT and had at one time enjoyed participating in their lives.. but because they are now UNBELIEVABLY CRINGE.. they had to go..when does shipping become unhealthy? Because these folks have hit the unhealthy stage and flew right into a straight jacket at this point.. like again I have no issue with healthy shipping.. in your own little corners where it doesn’t get weird & have the ability to fall onto the FYP of those you’re shipping. 😬 It’s really no wonder L has dropped off SM.. like could you imagine his face? Getting on TT to scroll and see a live of N’s sunglasses zoomed in to the point of no return.. to have a whole ass drawing created in the lenses of the glasses, with a circle on the blob arm indicating that the blurry area is indeed your bird tattoo.. 👁️👄👁️ like you know that man has got to be scared for his life at this point. It’s so cringe. It makes me feel so uncomfortable so I can’t imagine how L&N would feel watching it. The crease in the shirt? COME ON YALL! Does no one’s t-shirt ever roll up at their arm? I mean.. I am legit just watching these discussions with probably the stupidest look on my face. 🥴 I think what makes me most annoyed isn’t what’s being said.. it’s how it is being said. It’s being told as a fact rather than just their delulu opinion.. like an entire live was done over the milk shirt/sunglasses & this lady was literally saying things like “she is wearing L’s sunglasses.” “It isn’t JD in the picture because the hair is too long.” BOO WHAT HAIR? I know my eyesight isn’t the greatest but you can’t make out who that is or if anyone is there to begin with. Be for real! Again, having delulu opinions and having fun with it all is one thing.. but presenting it all like it’s actual facts is so insane. There has been ZERO evidence that L&N have seen one another since the tour ended. NONE. But you know who she has been seen with? Multiple times? JD.. not L. N can post a love song or two and these individuals are CONVINCED that the songs are about L.. you can’t even bring up JD without the Lukola shippers attacking you with the “JD is gay! He’s had a partner for years!” comments or “JD & N aren’t dating. He’s gay! They are besties!” But you know.. she’s only spending a CRAP TON of time with him, their are receipts that she saw him during the tour, their are receipts that they are following one another’s friends/family, he literally came to the Bridgerton Part 2 premiere.. I feel like he’d have to be quite important to her in order to be in attendance.. like come on yall. Wake up, please for the love of all things holy.. wake up.. I am just so afraid that the behavior of this fandom is going to make things awkward for L&N once S4 filming starts. I don’t know. Maybe I’m overreacting. I just think it’s gotten so out of hand at this point. The shipping use to be fun. Exciting. Like we all knew they weren’t together and we just had fun within our little circle and delulu’d together.. but now it’s creepy & so far away from fun.

But that’s my rant. I personally just want N & L happy with whomever they choose to spend their lives with. I think it’s sweet seeing N share her love songs & I strongly believe JD is the reason behind all of that. If he treats her like the queen that she is then I’m happy for her! Anyway-thank you for listening to my chaotic rant.. and for allowing this space to discuss our opinions without being attacked. It’s much appreciated! 😊

#safeSapce

#chaosDay

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

Finally got past the edgy title, and it turns out it was a tabloid news article?

What did she do for them to think she was blood bending kids to safety? She seems dismissive over the whole thing.

...

Okay, ew!

She really hits you in the face with the incest right out of the gate.

Like, if you didn't know these two were sisters, you would legit think they were dating.

(Urban dictionary definition for people like me:

)

I'm going to be honest, while siblings do occasionally lie on each other, it's usually because someone took up space on the couch, and they refuse to move so you sit on them.

And then someone farts, and it's a whole new battle of wills.

MOST siblings don't just ask for a cuddle just because you can.

(Maybe I'm biased, but that's how all the siblings I know behave.)

Sweet christ!

Can you imagine if you were reading this and didn't know they were sisters until right then? It literally hits you like a truck.

SISTER'S. ALL TO HERSELF. FIFTEEN YEARS.

A bear doing the tango with a bull in a china shop would be more subtle than this!!!!

I wonder if it gets worst?

Alright, so it does, and I should just accept that this is the author's fetish.

I am now going to pretend that they are not "sister's" and that the word is being used in a 'Hey Bestie' way for my own sanity.

Okay, more flirting between these two totally not related people, and then the Avatar states that she wants her girlfr- I mean "sister" to share her statue.

You know, totally normal stuff to want with a sibling.

Alright, so they just promised to see each other again. Totally normal, non-romantic stuff to promise each other while cuddling on a couch talking about sharing a joint statue.

Yup. Not weird at all. (I am dying, please send help.)

Time skip a 130 years, we get a new avatar looking at the statues, Another woman. Just, pointing that out there.

And Niva got her way. Now her and her sister will be remembered as a pair forever. Yay?

...

Okay, but what was the deal with the child blood bending?

Like, we're told it's just slander, but what did Niva do to give the impression she was BLOOD BENDING CHILDREN?

Does she do that a lot? Like, is she bloodbending so regularly that everyone figures that everything she does is just bloodbending?

Because if she did use bloodbending to save kids, then the kids would be dead. Because all of their blood would smash into their organs, causing horrible internal damage.

Also, bloodbending can only be used on a full moon, and...

Okay, I'm overthinking this clearly throw away line that doesn't mean anything, and is just an excuse to imply how "cool" and "edgy" the avatar is, while also giving her the "misunderstood" label.

The fic really is just an excuse for meaningless flirting, and if the two weren't RELATED BY BLOOD, it would just read as a typical, slice of life, cutesy couple interaction.

Honestly, Its biggest sin (if you try really, really hard to pretend the obvious incest doesn't exist), is just being...okay? It's a bit boring, and requires you to actually...care about two rather bland people that we know nothing about and their relationship.

This short fic honestly doesn't make me want to know more about these two, and it makes me wildly uncomfortable.

[giggly-moon]

Something about 7 makes me think of the gods, like Hermes or Athena (maybe even Poseidon 👀) cause they’re all so full of themselves they legit wouldn’t expect to be ticklish & I think it would be funny

Or, ya know… ghost!polites & someone of your choice? 👀👀👀

7: genuinely believing they’re not ticklish and being proven wrong

A/N: decided to go for the second option cause i’m still not super confident in how i write for the gods, plus i just had to write something for ghost!polites. so this one has a fair bit of angst in it but, like, it’s our ghosty boy. it’s bound to get at least a little angsty. but i chose elpenor as the other character for this prompt because i feel like these two would have a really sweet brotherly relationship and also elpenor is just really fun to write for. also for context, i know polites as a ghost probably still blushes red but in my head, since i imagine the ghost version of him to have a much colder color palette than the alive version, his blush is blue instead so i decided to add it in for funsies.

“So, like, can you still feel things as a ghost?”

“Some things.” Polites gave a half-hearted shrug. “I guess it depends on the type of thing.”

Elpenor has always been endlessly curious, maybe to the point of it becoming a problem. And Polites’ passing had been a rather difficult time for the whole crew, but when their friend somehow came back as a battered looking spirit and the hurricane of emotions surrounding it gradually turned to a tame breeze every now and then, Elpenor couldn’t help that his curiosity was piqued exponentially.

Which, of course, meant he had dozens of questions to ask him. Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, in Polites’ opinion, but sometimes his questions could hit a little too close to home.

“Can you still feel different temperatures?” Elpenor leaned forward slightly in interest, sitting across from Polites on the floor of the crows nest with his chin resting on his hands.

“Yup. I feel the cold better than warmth though, i’ve noticed.” Polites absently rubbed at his arm, as if just talking about it made him feel colder.

Elpenor gives a nod as he processes this information, before moving right along to his next question. “Can you feel pain?”

Polites gave a small sigh. “No, at least to my knowledge.”

Despite being given an answer, Elpenor still felt the need to test it anyway, reaching a hand up to repeatedly flick at Polites’ forehead. “This doesn’t hurt at all?”

“Nope.” Polites gave a slightly amused smile, but it was quick to fade. He felt a little silly for it, being sad at no longer being able to feel pain of all things, but in his mind it was just one more thing that made him inhuman. Another reminder that he was dead, that was he nothing but a floating corpse.

“Hmm.” Elpenor retracted his hand as he thought of another question to ask, looking Polites up and down like he was observing a scientific specimen. It was only a little bit uncomfortable. “Are you still ticklish?”

The question is so sudden and casual that it catches Polites off guard. “Wh- i-i don’t think so?” He sputters as he stares at Elpenor in surprise, who just stares back. “Probably not, i mean, ghosts don’t really have nerves, do they?”

“But have you tested it at all?”

Polites looks away from him sheepishly. “Well, no, but-“

With his gaze turned away from him, Polites fails to notice Elpenor reaching out for him again, not even waiting for him to finish talking before experimentally wiggling his fingers against his side. It’s a bit of a strange feeling, like his fingers are phasing through a layer of slightly thicker, cold air. But in a pleasantly surprising way, Polites still flinches away from his touch with a loud yelp, turning invisible for just a split second.

They both go silent. Elpenor stares at him with a surprised but excited look on his face, it has Polites suddenly feeling very nervous as he desperately tries to think of something to say. “Um.”

“You know, Polites, something tells me you might actually be wrong.” Elpenor says with a big grin, shifting into more of a kneeling position to lean in closer, making Polites lean back with a wobbly smile.

“B-but that doesn’t mahahake-“ Polites trails off into a fit of bubbly giggles as Elpenor reaches forward again with both hands this time to continue his attack on his sides, leaning to the side to dodge and batting at his hands. “-any sehense!“

Elpenor lets out a short ‘pffft’ sound. “Well, yeah, it probably doesn’t, but who cares? It’s still cool as hell!” He remains undeterred with Polites’ honestly pretty weak attempts at fighting him off, only moving to a different spot each time, like he’s trying to test out every one he can reach.

For Polites, it’s probably one of the strangest things he’s ever felt, but not in a bad way. It still very distinctly tickles, but in a more light and fuzzy way than he remembers, lighting up his nerves in a way that’s hard to get used to but wasn’t necessarily unpleasant. But god did it tickle like hell.

“Dude, this is great!” Elpenor says with mischievous delight. “I haven’t heard you laugh this much since you came back!” His smile slips a little as he gives it a bit more thought, and Polites thinks he hears something a bit more somber in his tone. “Or, like, at all actually.”

Elpenor doesn’t linger on that thought for very long, at least not for now, choosing to refocus on his task instead by moving his hands down to his stomach, scribbling everywhere he can reach without Polites’ hands getting in the way. And Polites hadn’t noticed it until Elpenor brought it up just how different he sounds, his now broken and raspy voice making for a very squeaky laugh, it’s… honestly kind of embarrassing.

“You sound like a mouse or something.” Elpenor snickers as if he can read his mind, and Polites tries to groan but it ends up sounding like more of a whine instead, a blue blush spreading across his face instantly.

“Shut uhuhup!” Polites aimed his protective smacking and shoving at Elpenor’s chest instead in an attempt to shut him up, and he can’t help but get a little defensive at that comment. “I gehehet ihit, ihihi’m different nohow!”

Elpenor gives him a bit of a strange look for a moment but he doesn’t say anything after that, just speeds up his hands even more and bounces around between spots with a new sense of determination. Until Polites decides that he can’t take much more of it and grabs onto Elpenor’s hands in a firm hold and gently tugs them away.

“Thahat…” Polites forced out through his residual giggles, curling up on the wooden floor and sending a playful glare Elpenor’s way. “…sucked.”

Elpenor raised an eyebrow. “You know, i really don’t remember ever hearing you say “stop” that whole time.” He stated, making Polites let out another groan. “Guess you’re not so different now after all.”

“What?”

“You said you were different now, but maybe you’re not as different as you think you are. Like, you’re still ticklish and stuff so that’s gotta mean something, right?” Elpenor awkwardly shuffled over to sit himself down right beside Polites, giving him a casual shrug. “And maybe there’s other stuff about you that’s still the same that you haven’t realized yet. You might look and sound different, but you’re still Polites.”

Polites took in his words with a surprised, wide-eyed look. But the more he thought about it, the more he started to think he might be right, a genuine smile forming on his face. He let himself lean against his friend, ignoring his lighthearted complaint about him being cold.

He’s still Polites.

[suffrin]

Hey! Feel free to answer this publicly or no!

This feels strange to say but I’m real sorry about that whole joke thing!

I REALLY shouldn’t have continued it because you didn’t know my age at the time and after that I felt like I was pressuring you into it!(even if I wasn’t I still felt like that)

I do fully understand the problem though to be fair

So thanks for removing it!

I am FULLY aware that I’m susceptible to bad stuff happening to me,it’s the internet! But I’m also aware that being aware doesn’t mean I’m fine, so if you’d like me to stop following this blog,COMPLETELY fine,because I really don’t want to put you in any more uncomfortable situations even by accident!

Sorry for all this⭐️

Answering publically so that anyone who was looking into this at all sees both bits!

Oh no you're totally good! Do not even worry about it! It was really helpful to have a third party come in about it and make us see how it might have looked on Both ends! I promise we are So good, Ace! I'm just glad it didn't stir up anything worse or make people think they could go in and try to be Legit weird to you. (Other than those few anons, at least, but you shot them down as you should!)

I'm glad you heard us out about it and and we're totally still looptuals🙂‍↕️

🗯 <- emoji that looks like loop (at least on my phone)

Also have fun killing people YIPPEEE

[precious-little-scoundrel]

wait ok so gale got one of his scars cause of sanchez?

Ok. Here we go into Marina’s poorly thought out, hypothetical and fraying plotline acid dreams, vague and unsettled headcanon territory. Welcome, it’s sorta weird here—

This is legit all I got… Sanchez is a fighter pilot from the Aztec Eagles Fighter Squadron, a group of Mexican pilots who fought alongside the United States during World War II. These pilots, trained by the United States military, were the only Mexican squadron to see combat in World War II. They flew their missions in early 1945 but i like variety, showcasing how diverse this world war was and keeping my women mixed in a probable way. We’ve got women in a stalag? -one can be a Mexican fighter pilot, sue me.

I imagine she was one of the earlier women downed, before many of the bombers had been, she was also solitary as a fighter, didn’t have a whole crew to rejoin with. Before long she’s piled into a truck with other allied airmen. One Gale Cleven crashed through a family’s kitchen, about snapped his back and got a pitchfork to the chest. He’s kind but he’s cautious, as he should be.

Somewhere along the way before getting to the Luftwaffe holding places, things got hairy. Drawing from resistance sources rather than Air Force testimony -as female integration wasn’t a thing, I’m using the next best comparisons- the gestapo and the SS and even on some occasions the Wehrmacht, would use violence against women to break men who otherwise wouldn’t talk under similar duress.

He gets his scar somewhere in here.

After such a mutual horror show I imagine a few things:

One, neither is exactly seeking each others company out after this, awks.

Two, Gale Cleven is confronted with the realisation this is probably happening to all his girls, and that sits doubly hard as a gentleman and an officer

Three, he’s not likely to forget the taunts, the implications, the snide comments about their doubt that he too was a woman, pretty enough for it, and since Americans were so depraved as to send off their weaker vessels to be slaughtered, what’s the difference? Between an American man and an American woman? They want equality right? The Germans can make them equal, they’d be happy to.

Four, Gale got those scars trying to save her, and it’s not like Sanchez thinks she owes him one or is somehow guilty for it, but what she saw him go through was uncomfortable enough she isn’t sure she knows what to say about how he got them. How much is too much? How much is vindication verses how much is damning?She just keeps mum and she’s traumatized in her own way, already uncomfortable as a woman, this whole abuse further exacerbates that feeling and her perspective on others.

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Breaking down the comics: BEMIS. Part 1

READING THINGS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO! 

Alright, I covered "Age of Khonshu" and honestly was so incensed that I had to make a post talking about it. 

So let's get this other bread (and burn it). 

A lot of new Moon Knight fans have heard the cry when asked what to read and where to get started. And true fans everywhere agree: DON'T READ BEMIS. 

And there are long posts and screams and sobbing about why not to read it that come out to "It's so bad!" 

But there are the curious out there. They want to know why it's bad. They want to know what happened. And...well... 

It spans a few issues. I…I was foolish and thought “I can do this in one go! How long can this take? I don’t want to spend that much time on BEMIS.” ….I forgot that doing one of these usually takes me the better part of a day to cover ONE issue. 

I’m going to break this up into Four (fuck you Tumblr) parts and cover both volumes instead of a post per issue. I don’t want Bemis to take up that much space so prepare for a few VERY LONG posts. 

Let's ruin my month! (AKA: Watch me slowly descend into blind rage). 

Marvel Legacy: Moon Knight. 2017. Issues 188-200. 

Part 1: Crazy Runs in the Family.  (Issues 188-193) Published: November 08, 2017

Written by: Max Bemis

Art by: Jacen Burrows

Editor: Jeff Youngquist 

Let's start with: 

WHO IS MAX BEMIS? 

Oh my god he's in a band. He's the lead singer for the rock band "Say Anything". 

My level of disappointment just doubled. 

According to his bio: He was raised in a 'strong Jewish environment'. His grandparents survived the Holocaust. All this has inspired his music. 

(I can't even begin to tell you how much actually looking up who he is has made me ten times angrier). 

In 2013 he started to write comics. More importantly, he wrote for characters that suffered different mental health issues. ('Polarity' at Boom! Studios about a hero with bipolar disorder). 

He then ended up at Marvel. 

For his personal life: He has bipolar disorder and self medicates with drugs (Marijuana). 

He also self identifies as "A Jew who is also a Christian", which he considers a "New age, metaphysical view" on religion. 

Good. Great. Fantastic. Now I know who this man is and I hate him even more. 

What's even funnier? Apparently his music fans ALSO hate him because he's "a sanctimonious hypocrite". 

Seriously, there's a whole Reddit page on why he's a terrible person. I'm not going to site any sources because I can't fact check a lot of those claims and maybe they are false or maybe they are true. I'm not here to slander a life. I'm here to talk about Moon Knight. 

I’ve procrastinated enough. Let’s go…. 

We open on "Ravencroft Asylum". Good start. 

We see a Doctor Emmett talking to a patient in a locked cell that's stylized like a prison interrogation cell. 

"You say remembering your youth is like looking through a layer of Jell-O. Were do things become lucid? When did you become yourself?" 

(I already hate it). 

"I learned who I was in the army, that much is clear." The patient responds. 

"I get it. The army. The incident. Aside from the physical, what did you walk away with on the day you hurt them?" The doctor looks at the files. 

And the patient is hesitant to speak on it, but he tells her that "In the army, I learned that there is a God." 

He talks about how he saw God 'in his fire' and that non-believers, atheists, skeptics, and all that are wrong. How they can't understand how big God is. 

(And now I remember when I first read this how uncomfortable this first issue made me.) 

"They weren't very nice to me in the Army, but why would they be? I had to show them I was more devoted, more significant than they were." 

I'm going to put a pause on this right here after just two pages. There are some Trigger Warnings that need to be discussed real quick. 

I grew up in the deep south and I’ve legit heard talk like this in real life. It’s terrifying. 

I knew a lot of 'born again' Christians who tried to 'save my soul'. 

This comic is going to get VERY uncomfortable for anyone that has had to deal with religious trauma. Just putting it out there. Skip if you can't handle any sort of religious trauma like excessive God Talk, Cultish behavior, Come to Jesus moments, or severe Antisemitism. 

On top of the religions issues, this comic is also going to have significant mental health mishandling. We’re talking about abuse from Doctor figures, use of improper terminology, abuse of the mentally ill, and severe discrimination. 

OH and misogyny. Let’s not forget the misogyny. 

This comic run also gets very…disgusting. I had many moments when reading this that legitimately turned my stomach. There is going to be depictions of self mutilation, gore, suicidal acts, and violence. 

I AM GOING TO CENSOR THINGS. I will not blur images, but I will NOT be posting any of the comic pages that depict any of these violent, shock value, images. I’ll give a brief rundown of what’s going on and tell you that there is an image that I am going to skip. I’m telling you guys, these two runs were disgusting and curdled my stomach many times. Especially issue two. 

So…Those are your only trigger warnings. 

Let’s continue. 

So now we see a narration by Dr. Emmett. 

It is not going to paint a good light on Dr. Emmett. 

She's in her office at night going over files. 

"Sometimes, this job is guiltily fun... To be frank, patient 86 is @#%$ FASCINATING. He attributes his pyromania to a leap of faith. Conversely, I might argue that it was the fifth canteen full of force-fed urine that inspired him. 

Sometimes I get him so fully that it's like I want to have a beer with the guy. 

He wears self-delusion with so much dignity. I wish I had that level of resolve, that I could stop fixating on the...SPECTOR conundrum.

I'm just a failure of a doctor, left without a shell-shocked dissociative bipolar to shove away in a box. 

In any other instance, I'd dial this one in. It's just that one nagging thing. 

Lunatic joins the army. Said lunatic freaks out and ends up spiritually reborn in a near-death experience. 

Sound like anyone you know?" 

OH GOOD. GREAT. I just... Deep breath. Deep breath. 

We’re going to play that angle. Woman psychiatrist/psychologist falls for her feminine desire to get with her patient. She can’t be expected to uphold her standards as a doctor or her doctor patient relationship. She has to dream for that exciting patient. She plays it off as wanting the award winning famous patient that makes her career into something amazing but because she’s a woman she has to play the dreamy sighing “Oh look how amazing he is!” role. And of course she’s after Marc. She can’t have Marc, so she finds this other patient that has a similar start of PTSD military based trauma and she’s going to fail to help him because she wants him to be like the other guy. 

Not to mention she's using outdated terms like "Shell Shocked". 

A term coined in WWI when for the first time, the world witnessed large groups of men coming back from war after encountering new aged weapons never dealt with or seen before. 

Then she calls him Bipolar and links it to his Dissociative disorder. 

I don't have a degree in psychology, but I do have a special interest. From what I've seen in the OG early comics by Moench, Marc Spector is not Bipolar. He does not exhibit episodes of mania followed by deep periods of depression. I'd go further into it, but trust me... He has a LOT of issues, but Bipolar was not one of them to start with. 

In fact, after Schizophrenia, Bipolar was one of the most commonly misdiagnosed mental illnesses. A lot of people with DID were misdiagnosed with Bipolar disorder because of the way the symptoms presented in many cases. You didn't have another person in your brain, you were just exhibiting mania and now you're depressed. 

ANOTHER THING to take issue with! 

This comic is coming DIRECTLY on the heels of Lemire's run. In that run, it was the first time we dealt with Marc's official time in the army and his dissociative states. 

We saw Marc wandering through the desert, dissociating and dealing with Khonshu issues. 

The off handed tick about "Lunatic joins the army. Said lunatic freaks out and ends up spiritually reborn in a near-death experience." 

1. The army did not lead to a Near-Death experience for Marc Spector. He joined the Mercenaries and was killed when his conscious got the better of him and his leader shot him for trying to save someone. 

2. A doctor of psychology should NOT be using terms like 'Lunatic'. 

3. Marc didn't 'FREAK OUT'. He had several dissociative episodes that ended up with him being discharged. 

4. Marc was NOT 'spiritually reborn'. Depending on who is writing and how Khonshu himself is being depicted... An ancient god revived him as his avatar. This is not converting him in any sense of the word. Marc Spector may have issues with his Jewish beliefs and upbringing, but he is still very Jewish. He was NOT 'spiritually reborn'. He was brought back to life to act as Avatar and Marc took this to being Moon Knight, vengeance, paying for the pain he caused, and trying to be a better person. To be a different person. To be anyone except Marc Spector. Jake and Steven took this to just mean that they wanted to help people. 

So... Yeah... Now we move on to the title page. 

This is going well. We can already tell that Bemis either just didn’t read the Lemire run and got the cliff notes, or he just didn’t care and only took away bits without understanding the actual story it had to tell. 

ON THE TITLE PAGE. Ohhhhh man you guys. ON THE TITLE PAGE. 

Every title page has a little blurb explaining who the character is and what's been going on in previously connected issues. This way, people can pick it up and just go without having to dig through old comics. It's also a good reminder for people like me, who have shit memories and have forgotten what's going on after having to wait a whole month for the new issue. 

I honestly have no idea who writes these blurbs. Sometimes you'll get the same blurb that lass for YEARS. (see Bendis run and how that carried over for runs and runs). 

"Marc Spector. Steven Grant. Jake Lockley. Each a distinct personality of one man vying for control. Spector, the original personality, has asserted his dominance and fights to retain that control. But years ago, as a mercenary, Spector died in Egypt under a statue of the Moon God Khonshu. In the shadow of the ancient deity, Marc returned to life. From then on, Marc took on a new aspect in honor of Khonshu, dedicating his second life to fighting crime as....

MOON KNIGHT". 

I want to fight someone. I don’t know who. But I want to fight someone. Whoever wrote this… This is what Marvel took away from the Lemire run. His beautiful run that for the first time, really dealt with Moon Knight’s mental health struggles. That said “They have dissociative Identity Disorder. They are a system. They have learned how to work together. They have found peace in who they are.” And whoever wrote this blurb went “Nawh, but Marc is the dominant and original personality and he’s in charge now!” 

Editor in Chief: Axel Alonso

Chief Creative Officer: Joe Quesada. 

Ah... These guys. These guys are to blame. We meet again Quesada... 

 Alright. We now see Dr. Emmett at some party (birthday party? They're all wearing party hats but they're clearly eating dinner and one guy is wearing a kippah and someone else is wearing a top hat and one guy is wearing no hat. I... I don't even know. This is all a disaster at this point.) 

The group is laughing about things and Dr. Emmett is day dreaming about Marc Spector. 

"Marc, my former patient. And this new one, patient 86. Traumatic experiences in the middle east. The similarity is brazen. Was there something in Marc's experience that patient 86 could..." 

Her thoughts are interrupted as one of her colleagues takes a jab at her. "Still stuck on the hooded leotard guy?" 

She snaps to defense and they tell her to let it go. That she can do better than 'that loser'. 

Back at home, she's angry. Moon Knight is not a loser in a leotard. 

And we see her shrine. Yeah... This is healthy. 

Oh good. Back at work she's dealing with patient 86. She's attempting to explain how his brain works to him. 

Get ready for some grade A psychology here people. 

She explains that on one side of his brain is chemistry and the other is "Personality. Socially ingrained behavior. I want you to see the distinction." 

He asks her that the fact that he's murdered people should label him as insane. 

She disagrees. "I'm not sure the fact that you're a murderer proves anything about your nature." 

Hmm. 

She goes on to explain that "So many have been clinically impared by their unique brain chemistry. They needed help. We failed them. Imagine hearing audible voices that told you to eat a person. These people needed treatment." 

And she points to cases like Sam, Gein, and Fish. 

Yeah... Because Gein needed treatment. I'm just gonna... Just gonna.... ARGH. 

"You developed bipolar disorder during your early adulthood. Moods fluctuating from mania to depression to utterly convincing delusion. Compounded by the traumatic childhood on the street, in state homes, and juvie that you barely recall. None of these things were your fault. Nor what happened in the desert." 

Okay, they're just throwing out things at this point. They're just going to start listing off the sterotypical bad childhood leads to a bad kid and trauma things. 

She then goes on to tell him that she understands what he did. That it was not his fault, that he was looking for something to control and fire was his answer. Not to mention God. "None of these symbols are inherently harmful. I've seen the power of symbolism redeem one of my patients who was literally split apart by trauma." 

oh no. no no no no...That's not how... ARGH. 

"Imagine what it could do for someone who was ready to receive help. Bipolar disorder, when tempered, can produce intense inspiration and creativity. I want to help you." 

And she adds "Kurt Cobain" to the list. 

I'm just going to... To sit here... quietly raging. 

Alright, so now we see Dr. Emmett walking through the Egyptian exhibit at the museum. 

"If Egyptian Mythology worked for Spector...It could work for my mysteriously nameness patient." 

HOW IS HE NAMELESS?! HE WAS IN THE ARMY. They KNOW where he was stationed, they know what unit he was in, they know the trauma he faced and bullying, and they know the group of people he killed! OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO KNOW WHO HE IS. 

"As I stand in front of the statue of Khonshu, Marc's main squeeze, I have a very important realization--Marc Spector may be legally insane... But he was never crazy at all. 

Is every priest who hears the voice of their lord crazy? Every shaman? The damn writers of the constitution, invoking god on every page?

Marc manifested the meaning of this icon. His dissociative identity disorder simply brought it more vividly to life. 

He needed an emblem of his inner bedlam and his innate need to protect victims. And the god of these qualities--Khonshu--came to him literally." 

THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. He didn't get DID out in the desert. He's had it since he was a very young boy! He didn't go to Khonshu to try to make sense of it! His DID didn't 'bring it to light'. It didn't make him hear the voice of god! 

So she decides to pick out a god for her patient. 

Cause that's healthy. 

She considers Osiris, Horus, ....Imhotep... 

But of course she stops at Ra. 

You know what's really getting to me right now? This so called Ivy league doctor that clearly has no idea what she's doing, has zero ability to draw the line at doctor patient relationship, her obsessive tendencies, and pushing her obsession onto another patient. 

Furthermore, when you look at Patient 86, you do see a man that recognizes that he did something wrong. That he needs help and is in a place to try to understand how his own brain is working. We see him clinging to her words and trying to understand where she's going with her treatment. 

She explains that Khonshu is Ra's son. 

"I explain my understanding of the two gods' dynamic to 86. Some of it comes from established myth, some from Freudian interpretation." 

FREUDIAN. THEY ARE GOING FREUDIAN. This is a no Freud zone. 

"Amon Ra represented the burning, blazing emblem of masculine virility that is the sun. In many cultures, the sun stands for the sovereignty of masculinity --logic and raw power. But in the New Kingdom of Egyptian lore it was his Adopted son Khonshu who was described as "Greatest God of the Great Gods." 

(Nope. There was a brief Khonshu cult where they briefly played at worshiping the Moon instead of the sun. This was later put down and Ra resurged as the leading deity again. And it certainly wasn't the 'New Kingdom' path to look at him as the greatest of the great). 

"Khonsu of the moon, a universal symbol for the redemptive power of insubordination--femininity and sensitivity. The Ras of this world resent becoming passe. It makes them angry. And they burn harder to spite their own impotence. Established society can't accept change. Can't accept that the old ways don't work anymore." 

Oh good. Misogynistic teachings. Just what he needs. 

"Something happened to you when you were young, dropped you into a sea of lost children. I believe what you're hiding from yourself was most likely some form of abuse." 

She asks him to try to remember and he does remember abuse from the people in the army but also as a child being abused. 

Now we have the utmost breach of doctor patient confidentiality. 

"Finally, I reveal the tale of Marc Spector to 86. How a confused mentally unstable boy drew on the figurative power of the Moon to justify his nature. 

Marc's transformation into the hero called Moon Knight...A role model for the bewildered. 

I pass along all my endless research and documentation of his life since he was under my care, as well as several well-regarded books considering Egyptian mythology." 

AHHHHHHHHHH.

"And madly enough, patient 86 gets it. It clicks in him. He sees how Spector, like him, was not just insane, but was truly immersed in a living myth. It was never the moon's fault that it shone so brightly." 

Now we see Dr. Emmett having a nightmare. 

She sits in a large empty and white office when she's suddenly attacked by mummies. 

Moon Knight shows up to save her and rips apart the mummies. 

But wait, it's not Moon Knight! 

JESUS. I don't know why that reminded me. But this patient is purposefully drawn to resemble the white Christian version of Jesus. So that’s another contention I have with this comic. 

I’m also 90% certain that that cat wasn’t white a few pages ago… 

Alright, back at the asylum, we see a changed patient. He's more confident. More thoughtful. 

She tells him he needs to be present and not dissociating into the void. She wants to continue his 'traditional therapy' as well as his "...studies." 

He tells her that he knows who he is now. 

She tells him that even if "the allegory of Khonshu brings you resolve, you still need medicine. You still need therapy." 

"So, it's just a story now? I suppose Ra never let his wrath rain down on his errant son? That everything you taught me was an illusion?" 

Suddenly she's back peddling. Saying she didn't teach him that. It's not what she was trying to get him to understand. 

He asks her to leave. He has things to think about. 

I mean, honestly what did she think was going to happen? 

She has a patient that believes that he has been touched by the divine and has become godly. So she has given him a god that is involved in FIRE, the thing he is associating with god. She's basically given him a path to his own displacement!! 

She FINALLY realizes that she can just go to the military hospital to try to figure out who he really is. 

At the military medical facility, she talks to another doctor. 

"I don't say this a lot about multiple murderers, but... If you're asking what I thought of the man, I'd have to admit he brought nothing but warmth to this place." 

And that's the thing. He's a quiet and pleasant man. Introspective and not really possessing his own unique personality. He accepts what is put on him. A sort of trauma processing and self defense. 

The doctor then explains that patient 86 signed up for the army under a forged alias. Okay. So that explains why they don't know who he is... But they could call him by that name instead of just 86. 

While she's there, another patient runs up, having overhead who they were talking about. 

He screams about how he was there and he saw what happened. 

"We all know the truth. It was impossible. They had him tied up. Naked. How could he have possibly started that fire? No matches, no lighter. I know what he--" 

The orderlies show up and of course pull him away. 

At the same time she gets an emergency message from her own asylum telling her to get back there right away. 

She gets back to find 's room covered in blood. 

Her response? 

"How could this be? Was it all for nothing? As a doctor, I believed I could make a difference. But again, I am just at the whim of the raw, elemental power of insanity." 

NO. You most certainly are not at the whim of the power of insanity! THIS IS YOUR JOB. Your job is to help people who have mental health issues! Being a doctor in a mental health institution is HARD. You have the lives of people at their most vulnerable in your hands! 

So what happened? 

Another nurse tells Dr. Emmett: "We found him like this and immediately restrained him. So nobody else besides Nurse Hayworth could be hurt. ALso... There was no other way to retrieve her nose." 

Cool. We're going Hannibal Lecter now? For dramatics? For shock value? 

I'm not going to show you the comic picture here. I hate it. It hurts to look at. It's disgusting. It's clearly done for shock value. 

But we see  wrapped up in a restraint jacket with blood all over his face. Behind him he's drawn RANDOM vaguely Egyptian hieroglyphs in blood. 

She asks him why he did it. 

"When I revealed myself to her... She didn't believe me." 

Dr. Emmett is confused. She thought he was a kind and compassionate man who had a terrible upbringing and didn't know who he was. 

He tells her that she should know who he is since she taught it to him. 

"Khonshu." She answers. Because she's an idiot. 

"Khonshu is nothing next to me." 

He bursts into flames, igniting the whole room. 

"I wanted to speak to you before I go, but...I'll have to take leave of you now, Dr. E. Whatever made me the way I am is irrelevant. You brought me purpose. You showed me that I am--and always have been--A God." 

"Dear Lord. Amon Ra." 

He tells her that Khonshu is going to bow to him even if he has to crack his spine and so on and so on.... 

He leaves the hospital, leaving the doctor to die in the flames. 

We see flashes of his past where he set fire to his abusers as a kid and again in the army. Fire caused by his own mind. 

"He was always meant to become this. And now I know what trauma robbed him of his memories. Sometimes the sun gives birth to a bright brilliant Moon, changing us for the better. But sometimes it consumes us... And we burn, it becomes all we can see." 

We cut to a shot of the hospital being on fire and emergency services there. 

Look! They found a survivor in the flames! The commentary between the paramedics is disgusting. And the casual way they move to treat the survivor is also just disgusting. 

We get to see the survivor and it's Dr. Emmett. Completely burned up but still alive. Again... shock value and I'm not going to show you the image here. But it's bad. 

She is laughing and yelling about how she believes. 

We see 86 walking away from the hospital down the road, happy, and also naked. I honestly don’t know why this became a thing in comics with naked guys all over the place. It’s obviously used as a way to elicit some sort of reaction from the reader. One of disgust, something to laugh at, or just “Oh no! The man is naked now!” I hate it. 

Then we get a few pages from Khonshu. A recap on Marc's story. 

It's not told right. But I will forgive it because it's told from Khonshu's point of view, and that asshole probably sees it this way. So... I suppose I'll turn a blind eye to how wrong the story is here. 

You would see it as Marc begging, wouldn't you, you stupid pigeon. 

"He became...A hero. He used my powers to fight crime. To find redemption. It only cost him his mind. You see, the criminals aren't the only thing Marc Spector fights. He also fights... 

"The voices in his head. Marc Suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder." 

I've said it before. It stopped being called Multiple Personality Disorder YEARS ago. This is lazy writing with no research. And coming off of Lemire's run, this is just insulting. 

Also calling it 'voices in his head' is just outright pitiful. 

"But given time, he has managed to make peace with those voices. Including mine. No, together, we are... MOON KNIGHT." 

And that's the end of the issue. 

We get an afterward from the author. 

It angers me beyond words. 

"Writing Moon Knight (not "a book like Moon Knight" or "Writing such a huge project for Marvel"...Writing Moon Knight) is a dream come true. I couldn't pick a better place in the Marvel U to inject my passion into, and it is the pinnacle of everything I've worked towards as a writer. 

Anyone who treats a superhero comic as an easy paycheck needs to check themselves and realize why they're our most prevalent modern myths. Thank YOU (and my fam at Marvel) for letting me write this, supporting my previous work, and allowing me to make comics with someone as esteemed and talented as Jacen. 

I only ask that if you enjoyed this somewhat bizarre issue, keep reading this book. I want to enjoy it with you. Maybe we can claw away at something horrible together. 

It will not, however, be pretty.  

-Thanks, 

Max Bemis." 

We also get an afterword by the artist, Jacen Burrows that notes that they are following in the wake of legends like Smallwood and Lemire as well as Ellis and Shalvey who worked hard to re-awaken Moon Knight after it's cancellation (see Bendis). They note that they are working to tell a new and defining chapter in his character and a thought-provoking, intense, and scary note in Marc Spector's life. 

I'm going to go punch a wall now. 

NEXT ISSUE! #189! 

Here we go… issue two… Let’s get this…moldy… bread. 

We open on... NYC Subway. We see a happy dude driving the subway car. As the car rolls into the station, a large man steps into the cab with him. 

"Happy to have made it to Friday? The stench of your jubilance is offensive. But you're right to rejoice. Today you learn the truth." 

He touches the driver's shoulder and slowly a blue beam over takes him and his eyes turn blood red and start to bleed. ...I'm not posting a picture. 

"Tell me what you've learned by knowing me. I'm living in you now." 

The driver starts to stammer and talk. "H...H..Humanity is perverse. Genocide is the comeuppance we deserve. There is no creator. Undebatable. Love is a contrivance. Undebatable. The white house is the death star. Twitter is a virus. And when the nukes raze everything we know...Only a fool would claim it wasn't our destiny." 

Yeah... The large man calls himself "THE TRUTH" and has the ability to send these visions into the people he touches. It makes the driver hate everything and he starts up the car again, out to spread the truth. 

We are back to Khonshu narrating. 

"My name is Khonshu. Moon God of Egypt. I'm here to tell you a story about a mad vigilante named Marc Spector. Our tale finds us here, on a standard night for Marc, who, when dressed in all white and donning a cape, refers to himself as Moon Knight. 

Marc has spent ten minutes decorating this bar with the blood of these drug dealers and slavers. The cacophony of snapping collarbones and pit-pattering plasma is like whale songs to him. 

As the thud of a man being literally punted across the room sounds, Marc Spector is grateful for his life. 

For the privilege of serving me. Khonshu, protector of travelers in the night. 

You see, Marc Spector is crazy. But in the context of my blessing, he is, well...A 'Super Hero'." 

I overlooked it before, considering it comes from Khonshu's narrative and Khonshu WOULD see things differently.... But I can't. I can't even attribute this to Khonshu. This is just tripe bullshit. 

We're going to start fast forwarding here because... It just keeps going on like this. The old bird just doesn't shut up. He carries on for three pages and there is a LOT of text there. 

We see Moon Knight beating up a bunch of guys to a bloody mess. Then we move down to see a bandaged up Marc heading up to his VERY run down, grungy, apartment building. He waves hello to some old lady behind the glass that runs the place. 

He tells her he'll have the rent for her in the morning. 

Khonshu again calls Marc having just recovered from a 'personal crisis' and taking his problems more seriously, like his struggle with 'multiple personality disorder'. 

Khonshu boasts about how hard it is to live with a demigod in your head and that Marc has learned to 'live with his lunacy and wield it like a weapon'. 

We see Marc ironing his Moon Knight outfit while watching TV. 

Khonshu AGAIN talks about how Marc has learned to use his three distinct identities and that therapy has let him come a long way. About how Marc came to him begging to have his life saved and now Marc is his 'earthly champion'. 

"Or perhaps he was a space cadet whose psychosis was triggered by being shot up and dried out in the baking middle east sun. Your call." 

THIS IS WHAT YOU GOT FROM LEMIRE?! THIS?! How...How... HOW. 

We now see Marc passed out in bed. 

"Marc is ready to become someone else." 

Yeah so… We got him ‘becoming’ Steven. Who talks to Khonshu. Sure. Fine. Whatever. Khonshu calls him Narcissistic and decadent. 

FIRST OF ALL. Oh. You did NOT just come for Steven Grant. Oh we are going to have words now. 

Steven Grant is a beautiful wonderful man who has dreams of charity, peace, and living the perfect life that he was EXPECTED to live as a child under his father’s role. He’s the ideal son he was supposed to be, but he keeps his eyes on what’s right and what’s wrong and has STRONG moral opinions. He takes care of the body because he HAS TO. Marc isn’t going to do it. If it wasn’t for Steven, they’d turn into a walking festering infection with broken bones and starve to death! Steven keeps them alive and HEALTHY. He is the epitome of the one that gives because he believes in living a good life as a good person. 

Oh. Now you're gonna come for my boy Jake?! YEAH. YOU BETTER AVOID DISCUSSING HIM FOR NOW. I’LL BITE ANYONE THAT COMES FOR JAKE. (spoilers: I know exactly what he does with Jake later and I am furious). 

Alright. Back to Patient 86, or RA as he's going to be called later for a bit. 

We see him in a homeless shelter getting soup. He talks to various homeless people, prostitutes and druggies in an effort to locate someone. There are heavy implications in some of these images that he 'did things' to get the information he wanted. I’m not going to post them because of the nature of the way these people are being depicted. 

Back with Khonshu and Steven. He's at some business meeting. He's made them a lot of money. Everyone is happy and celebrating. Apparently Steven goes to struggling companies and makes them VERY wealthy. 

He's decided to donate his portion of the new wealth towards his "Lunar Lives" charity fund that feeds the displaced youth of New York. 

Steven shrugs saying that money is boring and he finds it fun to toss it to places where it doesn't belong. 

Sure, we'll go with that version of Steven Grant being a kind and charitable man. 

The party is interrupted by news reports that a subway conductor committed suicide by crashing the car. The survivors of the crash are now apparently acting strange, "self mutilating" and acting violent towards the aid workers trying to help the scene. 

Steven slips away from the party. 

Moon Knight time. 

But first, we go back to RA. 

He's found the person he's looking for. He's guarded by thugs. After a little encounter, Ra sets fire to one of the thugs and heads up to meet the man. 

Back at the subway crash, we see chaos as rescue workers try to put out the fire, help the injured, and deal with the ones that are suddenly acting violently. 

And Khonshu is still going. It's an interesting choice. I'll give them that. Having Khonshu narrate instead of hearing at ALL from the Moon Knight system. I suppose it gives them bigger leeway when it comes to the unreliable narrator because Khonshu WOULD see things differently. An excuse to not depict Marc and the others correctly? 

....But it still does swing widely and miss far too often. 

"Quite familiar with all the things that make men weep and soil themselves, Marc Spector felt at home in these derelict tunnels." 

We see Moon Knight walk past the crash and into the train tunnels. 

"After too much time confined in a white room, the odor of dead rat fart and fungal growth actually calmed his busy brain. He was in his element-The inspector holmes of king fu madmen." 

See, this is where it falls flat. If Steven is dealing with the business aspect, Marc isn't going to care about that room. 

And again we get ANOTHER jab at Marc being 'insane' and liking the disgusting things and being more at home in dank and terrible places. 

Perhaps Marc is more at home in sewers (there was a sewer man) than Steven or Jake... But it has nothing to do with his mental state. It's because, as Moon Knight, he isn't above things like that. He's not the perfect clean hero that Captain America or Iron man is. He's the man of the people that puts himself down there in the lowest parts because it's where he's needed. 

Moon Knight rightly is able to look at the scene of chaos at the crash site and deduct that it's a psionic attack. 

"Historically, he had found telepaths to generally be meek characters using their sway over the mind as compensation for physical frailty. Like sexually feeble men with muscle cars." 

Unnecessary jab. 

Now, as much as I dislike this art style, it's a choice and there is SOME merit to it. Look, here's a nice page. 

Here’s a badly cropped version. I like the way they drew Moon Knight in the first two panels with the play of the light and shadows. That big angry dude down there is the Truth guy. And I cropped it there because under him is a bunch of guys he’s shown the truth to who are writhing on the ground, bleeding from the eyes and shouting terrible things. 

Moon Knight goes in swinging and lands a few blows, trying to know him out to release the affected people from his psychic attacks. 

The guy is pretty big and he takes the hits easily. 

He manages to grab Moon Knight by the neck and starts to use his abilities on him. 

So what truth does Marc see? 

"I'm a mad circus clown... This is all for myself. There is no Moon God. Just another...Sick... Delusion..." 

I...honestly can see Marc having that issue. It's an issue he's had before where he thinks this is all his own way to keep being violent and that Khonshu is just a product of his need to justify what he does. 

Marc snaps himself out of the psychic attack by punching himself in the face. 

And I forgot that Bemis has decided that Marc Spector is a masochist and he loves it. 

Literally, it has Moon Knight yelling "Ghhh. I #@$% Love it!" 

He attacks the Truth again, slicing him up with his crescent darts and landing blows. 

The Truth remains standing. 

Moon Knight decides to look inward for help. 

"Not having a lot of luck here, Fellas. Khonshu's more of a talker and this guy's power set is the real deal. Grant's useless...Doubt the Truth is looking for stock tips." 

(I forgot that Bemis considers Khonshu to be his own version of an Alter without being an alter? That he just lives in their head.) 

UGH. Yep. Here we go. This is what he's done to Jake. 

"I'm gonna need..." And Moon Knight lets out a scream of rage as Marc steps out and tells Jake to "Do your worst." 

Apparently... Bemis has decided that Jake is the wild card, violent, unpredictable, and brutal. Worse than Marc for some reason. That Jake is the powerhouse of hits... 

I honestly has no idea why he went this route when MARC of all people has always been the one to be the guy that doesn't go down and always hits back. It just makes no sense.

What even. 

Jake comes right at the Truth, spits a tooth in his face, then challenges him. 

"You want to step into Jake Lockley's mind, you gigantic freak? I @#$% Dare you.

You met Marc. Marc's disturbed as hell. Now imagine that he took all the worst parts of himself and let them fuse into a living person. Now go ahead and taste MY truth, you leech." 

I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THIS. 

DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY. It’s not making people out of things! You don’t go “Well I hate that I burn all the cakes so I’m going to make this person my cake burning person!” ALSO Marc isn’t that bad either! Marc did terrible things, but Marc is also the hardest on himself! Marc could burn a cake and then use it as proof that he’s the worst person in the world! And Jake ISN’T a bad person! Jake is a good kind loving man with friends and a good heart and I’M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW. 

And the whole time, you see ghostly Marc off to the side looking less than pleased at the situation and reminding Jake that "You're not allowed to kill him, Jake." 

And the Truth pulls away in pain. 

"Dear God. The things...The things you've done."

WHAT?! WHAT DID JAKE DO?! DRINK HOT COFFEE AND BURN HIS TONGUE?! DID HE PLAY BALL WITH ONE OF THE LOCAL KIDS AND MISS THE HOOP!? DID HE DOUBLE PARK HIS CAB!? 

Truth is still reeling. "He has no idea...Does he? You blind him to your foul actions! I'll tell him, you fool! I'll tell him about..." 

and Jake cuts Truth off by shoving two crescent darts into his eyes. Yeah...they got an eye thing in this run. I'm not a fan. 

Jake gives the body back to Marc, who instantly wants to know what Truth was talking about. 

He chastises Jake for his actions and tells him that he's going to get a talking to about this later. 

And Marc makes a bad pun about "The Truth Hurts" over the unconscious Truth. 

Khonshu and Steven shake their heads at him and Marc claims to be the funny man. 

whoopy doo. 

With the Truth gone, the afflicted people seem to be recovering now. 

Back at RA's part of the story, he finally makes it upstairs to to see the guy he's been looking for. 

Oh. Oh no. I forgot about this. I totally wiped it from my mind. 

We see someone sitting at a chair. Ra tells him that he's been put here to destroy Khonshu.......

"As a manifestation of his father, Ra, I am offended that he continues to breathe and spread his gospel of dissent through a foul Avatar. A HEBREW, no less. I want your help to end Marc Spector." 

I'm... I'm going to take a minute here. 

I want to make a few things Very...VERY clear. 

I don't care who the fuck is writing this, how they were raised, or where they stand with things now. 

This is not okay. Not in a comic book, not in real life, and not in any sense of the word. 

We have a figure who is CLEARLY styled to look like a Jesus figure that believes he is the Egyptian god Ra. We have him out to destroy Moon Knight because 1. He works with Khonshu and 2. He is a 'Hebrew'. 

This is just disgusting. 

And to put it in a comic. Where people of all ages read it and think that it's okay. 

Maybe you had some teen or young adult that was identifying with the bad guy. It happens. They see a bad guy that came from a bad situation and they root for them or fantasize what it would be like to burn things like they do. And they start spitting hate like this. Violence towards Jewish people. You are giving them permission to hate a people too. To blame them. To look at them as inferior. 

Or maybe you have a young naive kid that has never heard talk like this before and suddenly "Hebrew" becomes a slanderous hateful word. Congrats. You've just turned that kid into always associating that word with bad and disgusting things. It's only a step away from becoming antisemitic in their life. 

I just... I can't. I can't even begin to tell you how much this is painful to see. To see Marvel allow this as a company. A company founded on Jewish people. To see Moon Knight as a comic, based around a Jewish system that was originally designed to be about dealing with trauma and hate and pain and finding a way to get better and continue to find the light in the dark. 

Anyways... Back to the comic...

The man behind the chair is eager to take down Marc Spector, but he knows it takes more than a man. So Ra sets the place on fire to show off his skills. 

The man stands up, impressed. 

Oh look... It's Bushman.

A very poorly drawn Bushman that BARELY makes it past the caricature of an old racist cartoon black man. And it only gets worse from there. And as much as Bushman is the bad guy and used to (USED TO) be Marc's biggest enemy... This version of him only goes downhill from here. And we've moved on from antisemitism to racism. 

fun times for all.... 

Oh good. This issue is done. 

Can you tell I’m regretting this decision yet? 

You know what? I’ve got a question for you to think about! We can all get mad at Bemis. We can point at his horrible story and all the terrible things he wrote about (and boy howdy are there more and they get worse as we go on)... But what about the art? 

As MacKay said “Art can make or break a comic”. You can have the most beautiful story in the world and then have it drawn like shit. So who decided to make everything gory and bloody and shocking? Who decided to make Bushman into…THAT? Did Bemis say “I want you to make him look like this” and then pull up a 1940s comic? Or did Burrows make this call all on his own? Are there really two people to blame for these comics? Can we be angry at the artist too? 

I’m already pretty pissed at the editors that let this happen… But who drew this? 

Jacen Burrows started working with Warren Ellis in 2000. Ah... That explains some of the gore. 

Also illustrated adaptations of Alan Moore. Yup. That explains the gore. Those two have very specific styles that usually translate into a lot of gore. 

Oh yup. He's also worked a lot with Garth Ennis. 

So we've got three of the four most graphic big name comic writers there. This explains a lot. 

I don't have much on his personal life, or things that would show WHY he drew things this way... Perhaps it was direction or perhaps it was choice. Looking at some of his other works, they don't all look like this. So who knows? 

NEXT ISSUE! #190! 

I don’t want this bread. Send it back. I want different bread.

You know what? Why even bring Bushman into this? 

This is a move designed to pull the old fans back in and to elicite "OH MAN" emotions from people. And it is not done well. 

Bushman started as the big bad. He was the one that worked with Marc as a mercinary and the one that killed him. He's shown up a few times over the years, putting fear into Marc as Bushman threatened his friends. Then Marc killed him (and cut off his face). 

So why bring him back? He's done. Marc has burried this particular thing of the past. He's a memory of a ruthless and brutal time. 

And what they do with him here is just... They mock him. They make that memory into something grose and shameful. 

You'll see in a bit. 

So the next issue opens on some look backs at Moon Knight through the ages. We've seen this before. Other one shots and annuals have touched on the other Knights of Khonshu. 

This time we see it through Ra's eyes. 

"And so it has been since the days the gods themselves walked the earth. Ra and Khonshu, vengeful father and errant son. Warring for the very soul of the world, reborn again and again through earthly avatars. And in every instance....Ra is humbled. Shamed." 

....Did Bemis even do mythological research? Is he just going based on "Ah yes, the sun and the moon!" 

I'm no Egypt mythology expert, but I can tell you this... Khonshu (or Khonsu as it's really supposed to be spelled) is the son of Amun and Mut. Amun and Ra used to be two different gods but eventually merged into Amun-Ra when two big cities rose to power. He was then attributed with being the king of all. 

Khonsu is often depicted as a child! He's drawn with a side-ponytail, which is the "sidelock of youth" and depicts youth in ancient art. 

At first Khonsu was incredibly violent. He absorbed other gods' powers by eating their organs. Eventually, he was changed to a mellow god of Time, Measurement, and prosperity. 

As I mentioned before, there was a brief period when a popular city worshiped Khonsu as the superior god, but it didn't last and Ra was put back in power when that city fell. 

So Bemis clearly didn’t do any research into how the story originally goes. I’m not surprised. 

He babbles almost incoherently about Karma and balance and how Khonshu always wins because the Sun God failed to find a proper Avatar. 

He says Ra is here to break the cycle and bring order back to mankind. Because mankind needs discipline and order. 

"I'm not like those who came before me. I'm not like you, victims of Khonshu's pride. I was born with the flame within me." 

So apparently this is a big speech to some henchmen. Or just a bunch of guys looking to get revenge on Moon Knight? Unclear. 

Ra's speech done, who is now known as the Sun King, Bushman gives his own speech. 

He admits that he now lives his life dealing crack and isn't at his best. 

"Marc Spector...Scares the crap out of me, simply put, I don't want to die again. I wouldn't come near Moon Knight with a ten-foot pole at this point, but with Sun King's determination and power?" 

He tells them that with Sun King's fire, they can take down Moon Knight. 

Sure. 

Back to Mr. Spector himself... We see him meditating and holding a little talk with Jake. 

Still we get Khonshu's narration: 

"The inside of Marc Spector's head is a picturesque, violent landscape touched by Egyptian mythology, Judaic folklore and Fragments of his past." 

I have so much I want to argue about with this that I don't even know where to start. 

So we see an abstract headscape here. Marc has Jake in a boxing ring and is beating the crap out of him. 

He's angry at Jake for keeping things from him and he wants answers. 

And here we get a childish depiction of their argument that holds no research and insulting implications.

It's supposed to be funny. It has a certain charm to it that a much much younger me might have found agreeable, but older me has learned a lot and it just makes me tired. And upset at the character assassination that has been happening to my good buddy Jake. 

I'm also upset at the implication that Jake is just 'a piece of Marc'. The parts Marc didn't want. 

So they continue to fight while Khonshu and Steven watch. Steven is upset at their fighting and tries to get them to stop. 

Jake takes a bad blow. "Look, Steven is the wealthy benefactor. Khonshu is our connection to the bigger picture. You're the voice of reason. And I deal in the grimy leftovers. You BUILT us this way." 

I hate it. Marc didn't BUILD them. He didn't sit down one day and decide to make other people to hold things! It also depicts Khonshu as being an altar. 

While I've often toyed with that idea, it's always been clear from day one that Khonshu is NOT another aspect in their head. There IS a good chance that they have someone that has been formed as a fictive or even a persecutor in the form of Khonshu... But that's an argument for another day. For the sake of this review, Khonshu himself has always been an outside force! 

ALSO. Marc. Marc Spector. The voice of reason?! How do you get a character SO WRONG that you are writing a whole comic book for? When has Marc Spector EVER been the voice of reason? 

Jake puts Marc in a sleeper hold and threatens to "put you to sleep" if Marc doesn't chill out. 

"It's not your fault that your mind ended up like this. All we can do is embrace the crazy and let you move on with your life. Which means you need to trust me, Marc. Capiche?" 

I have always been a huge fan of the implication that because of their unique mental health issues, DID, and dealings with Khonshu, along with repeated trauma and death, that the Moon Knight system has the ability to surpass expectation and use these things as secret weapons. The number of times people have attacked them mentally and just been destroyed is amazing. I love it. 

THIS. This I hate. "Embrace the crazy". This is clearly the message Bemis got from Lemire's run. That they went through all that so that they could be crazier and use it as a wild card. NO. Just no. 

Anyways, Marc and Jake make up and relax while Steven hugs Khonshu in the background in celebration. 

We now to go the Sun King, who is knocking on a door to a fancy looking house. 

And who answers the door? Marlene Alraune. 

For those that don't know, Some time after Moench left Moon Knight, Marlene also left them. When Moon Knight picked up again for the Houston run, Marlene came back, but it was a rocky relationship. She left them again, saying she couldn't be with them for her own health. 

Sun King poses as a charity drive door to door person and while Marlene is getting her check book, he notices a picture on the wall. He freaks out and calls in Bushman. 

Marlene is famliar with Raoul Bushman. He's the man that killed her father, after all. The one that killed Marc and started it all. 

Bushman notices the picture and taunts Marlene. 

He calls her a damsel-in-distress. This has never been the case. Marlene has NEVER been a damsel-in-distress. As much as I harp on her from the old days, that girl could take care of herself! Half the time she was the one rescuing Moon Knight! 

So to see her passive and not knowing how to fight or take care of herself? No. 

We head back to Moon Knight, who is fighting a bunch of "disabled gentlemen", most of which are missing arms and legs and the such. It's implied they work for Bushman and Moon Knight is to blame for their missing pieces. hmm. 

While fighting, he gets a phone call. In typical "My ex" fashion, the caller ID says "Do NOT pick up, Psychopath! Let it go!" 

Hm. 

He answers. Khonshu is not pleased by this but Marc can't help but answer. It says that Marc is still obsessed with her. 

He's super happy to hear from her. 

Marlene tells him that she's missed him and wants him back in her life. 

She attempts to warn him, telling him that maybe it's best if he didn't come over, but Sun King is there and puts the squeeze on her. 

Marc is far too eager to go meet up. 

I'M GOING TO PUT A PAUSE ON THIS FOR A SECOND. 

This is something that has bothered me for AGES and this is the run that started it. (Bemis. Always blame Bemis. But there is also another writer that messed it up too. I'll get to that MUCH later.) 

Moench originally wrote that Marlene was in love with Steven. 

Jake was incredibly indifferent to Marlene. ANy time they interacted, he treated her as a friend, but was more interested in headint to Gena's. Jake was not into the fancy rich life and how she wanted to live. 

Marlene hated Marc Spector. Marc was violent, had a dark past, and was involved in her father's death, her brother's death, and various other tragedies. 

If Marlene was going to do anything, it would NOT be Marc. OR JAKE. It would be Steven. In the whole Moench run, she always insisted in calling them Steven. She wanted them to just be Steven and give up the other lives. 

BACK TO THE COMIC. 

We see a flashback of Marc and Marlene on a raft. 

"From the first time you saw me? Huh. Even though I was some mercenary who hadn't showered for a week?" 

BULL. SHIT. The first time Marlene saw him, he was working with Bushman and had imprisoned them all, then her father had been killed. The first time she spoke to Marc I'm pretty sure she either told him off or he was dying and she was happy because she thought he'd killed her father. 

He's telling her the story of when he had to kill his own brother. (he's not telling the story right). Then he talks about his dead girlfriend and other trauma from his past. 

What makes me mad is that this is conceivable. We have Marc Spector (Marc, not the other two) talking to Marlene about his past, his trauma. It’s possible that over time she could have decided to get to know Marc. That she realized that Marc is not just a murdering scary man and made peace with the fact that she needs to know him if she wants to be with Steven. It’s possible that she got him to open up and tell her his trauma and what made him what he is now. It’s even possible she started to date him too. I can get behind that! It’s growth for BOTH Marc and Marlene.

And I wish this was how it was done. How it was left. I wish that they had this growth. That Marc and Marlene could become closer. That he and Steven learned to trust one another so much that they learned to be with Marlene and share. But this isn’t how Bemis does it. 

We are back in the now and Marc shows up at Marlene's with flowers and a suit. 

He tells her she looks great. He really thinks they are getting back together. Denial is a land that Marc Spector is king of. 

And Sun King is standing in the dining room waiting for him. 

Sun King pretends to be Marlene's boyfriend who has been living with her. 

He tells Marc that Marlene told him all about how he was Moon Knight. It's not like this is a big secret. Marc was only mildly into secret identities. He wasn't very good at it. 

And Marc isn't taking this well. While Sun King pretends to be a guy that's with Marlene, he then starts to talk about how someone else has been 'getting with Marlene.'

He tells Marc to ask Jake Lockley. 

And in the inner world, Marc is a giant monster pissed off and turning on Jake. 

Not how that works. But sure. Why not. Also, let’s propagate the notion that DID promotes distrust in the system and that there’s an evil alter that goes around doing things behind their back like this. 

AND THIS. This is disgusting. 

She claims to have never stopped loving him and was so desperate for him that she got with Jake?! Not the same person! You don't get a hankering for Marc and go for Jake instead!

And then the notion that Jake came to her telling her to keep it a secret?! 

And then telling them that Jake was never "warm". That Jake has evil in him and he just didn't stand up to Marc?! 

WHY IS JAKE The EVIL ALTER!? He isn't. Jake Lockley is a loving kind and caring man. He goes to Gena's every day and asks her how her kids are doing. He feeds the homeless. He makes friends with the people on the street. 

And she tells Marc that she tried to break it off with Jake but it was too late and she couldn't do it alone. 

And that's when Bushman shows up. 

Yep. There’s the daughter. And the fact that she calls him “Uncle Jake” and not “Dad” despite the obvious implication that Jake has been in her life for a long time… 

Maybe they were trying to protect her from the Moon Knight curse but not letting people know she was his daughter… But still… 

Her name is Diatrice. She has pink hair. 

This is the ONE thing that came out of Bemis that is kinda okay. 

It isn't till MacKay gets his hands on her that I actually started to like her. She's a force. 

I admit, change scares me. And I've been jaded by the "We have to introduce a child to keep it interesting!" concept that show-runners and authors seem to have. I was also so incensed by Bemis' terrible writing that I took the stance of HATING Diatrice when I first saw her. 

But it was bad writing. And give her to a good writer and she can do such wonderful things. 

When Jed MacKay got to put her in a story, she was smart, she was fiesty, and she embraced her dad. More so, he embraced her. 

Amazing what happens when someone does something not for the shock value. 

And now we move to the next issue. Good. Great. I hate the art. I hate how weepy Marlene is here. Old Marlene would have been pissed. She would not have put up with this shit. She was smart. She would have found a way to warm him. To do something. I honestly can’t tell if this is misogynistic or just BAD writing? Maybe both? 

Issue #191.

So the cover is the famous picture of the farmers. It's supposed to depict family homesteading life. 

In the real picture, it's not well known, but it is the farmer and the daughter, NOT his wife. Just a little art knowledge there for you. 

So we are back to Khonshu narrating. 

I don't even know what he's narrating. Something about gods and the power structure of gods and his moon battle against the sun. Something about the moon representing mythical and birth and creation and then sun representing the psychopath and the ground and humans. 

Not even mythologically correct in...ANY culture as far as I'm aware. At least none of the one's I've read about. Maybe in some. I don't know. But I doubt very much if there is, Bemis knows about it. 

He also starts talking about evil and angels and devils. Dude has got his theology mixed up. 

Also, Marc should be a bit more upset about seeing Bushman here. They have...HISTORY.

(There she is. There’s the Marlene I know and care about.) 

So everything is on fire. Marc grabs Diatrice and gets her out. 

He tells Marlene to get out. She just stands there DESPITE THERE BEING A SLIDING GLASS DOOR BEHIND HER. 

He tells Diatrice to go find a place to hide, he has to go help Marlene. 

She asks him if he's crazy because you're supposed to run away from fire. 

He just looks at her before going back inside. 

Marlene is still standing there with a sliding glass door directly behind her and fire in front of her. I don't even.... 

Marc calls out Raoul Bushman while he fights the henchmen. 

"You're such a %$#@!!!" 

Roul shoots him in the shoulder. Marc doesn't care. He knocks the gun out of his hand and slams his face into the wall. 

Sun King sets Marc on fire. Marc strips down to his skivvies and throws his burning pants into Sun King's face. 

Yeah. I can see Moon Knight (especially Marc) doing this. It's a good fighting tactic. It's a good depiction of Marc's talent for hard combat with quick thinking. (See? I can see the good too. Still angry, but there is soooooome good.)

See… It isn’t beneath Marc. This guy pretends to know Marc because of the terrible psychologist and being connected to ‘Ra’. But this isn’t beneath Marc. This is classic Marc fighting. 

So they now face one another. 

"What are YOU supposed to be?" 

"I am Ra's chosen sword. Here to strike you down. I'm the Sun King." 

"....Of course you are." 

"My purpose is to make your death a mockery. In fact, I wouldn't be doing my job if I just struck you down. It's gotta be so tragic that it means something." 

He goes on like this for a hot (LOL) minute. Honestly, Marc's heard it all before. This isn't the first time he's fought a guy with delusions of whatever he's got going on. 

At this point Diatrice shows up again and is pissed off that her swing set is on fire. 

Marc grabs her and makes a run for it. 

He asks her what her name is. She tells him Diatrice and that he already knows that. 

Marc is just caught up in the weird name. 

"Mommy let me change my name to whatever I wanted!" 

Which is super just... Considering she could never even bother to get Marc, Jake, or Steven's name right... Way to go Marlene I guess? 

Marc feels the same way. 

It's at this point that he runs BACK into the burning house holding his child for some reason? There's a note on the wall "We have your queen." 

Well, Marlene's been kidnapped. Not the first time. 

Probably for the best, honestly, considering she couldn't figure out how to use ANY of the exits that were surrounding her. 

Back at Marc Spector's apartment, we find Marc failing real hard at talking to his daughter.

So this means that Marlene told her that JAKE was not her dad and that her dad was a super hero. Meaning she pretty much told her that Marc was her father. 

Look. I know a couple of systems that have children. How they choose to discuss their DID with their children is up to them. Some chose not to discuss it at all until the kid is old enough to understand difficult concepts like this. But they also don’t hide it. None of the systems I know hide it from their children. The kids just learn to recognize the different members of the system, and to them, they are all “Mommy” or “Daddy” because that is the role that they inhabit while present. 

It falls back to the whole “Hold your system accountable” aspect of being a functioning system. It means that they hold each other responsible and they all understand that they have a child and must function as a parental figure to protect and care for their child. 

So the fact the Marlene is telling her that one of them is the dad and not the other… Hiding it from one and that Jake hid it from them. There is a disconnect here that is damaging and insulting. 

So we see her argue with Marc about him not being a super hero. He doesn't look or act like Captain America, he can't fly, and he looks tired and smells funny. 

He declares it was an 'off day'. 

But, it's what I love about Moon Knight in general. He's just a guy. He has zero powers. He's even a bit of an idiot sometimes. He's just a guy out there that takes a lot of beatings and has a lot of trauma that he works out while wearing a mask. 

As they talk, we see Jake, Steven, and Khonshu in the background watching. 

Honestly, fair. I have seen systems be put in situations where perhaps a member they don't really trust yet is present in a situation that could be dangerous to them in general. Perhaps a little is present when they shouldn't be. Perhaps a high trauma holder is present in a potentially triggering situation. Or perhaps a persecutor that has a history is out around a member of the family that they don't trust them to be around. 

You'll have the protectors and gate keepers VERY close by monitoring and ready to step in if need be. 

At least this is true in the systems I've spoken to. Feel free to sound off if you have other experiences. I love to hear from systems about their own experiences and how they handle the family situation. 

So now that they've argued on if Marc is or is not actually a super hero, she asks about her mom. 

He assures her that she isn't going to die because he's going to save her and "seriously hurt those bad guys". 

She asks if he likes Katy Perry. He says no. He asks if she likes Dazzler. 

So they put on a record of Dazzler and have some bonding time while Jake keeps watch. 

We head out to a high security prison to find some guards chatting. 

One of the guards is missing an eye and wearing an eye patch. 

He heads to a cell and asks the person inside to head to the city and get revenge for him. He wants him to kill Bushman. 

Hey look, The Truth guy is back. 

Considering the Truth guy ALSO got his eyes stabbed out... I'm not sure how he's walking around like that without any training or aid or anything... 

Also, this guy was seriously not that impressive as a bad guy. He's just big and has a 'scary' design to him. I'm not impressed by this attempt to make a recurring bad guy. It's just not an impressive reveal of a returning bad guy. 

So the Truth heads out of the jail easy peasy. 

Back in Marc's apartment, Diatrice is asleep and Marc is holding a meeting in the head space. 

You've got Marc, Jake, Steven, and Khonshu on a platform with Cthulhu in the background. I don't know. Do they think that the head space can just conjure anything based on need or emotion? Maybe it does? Maybe it doesn't? I Don't know. 

Apparently this is a recurring thing Khonshu does because Jake tells him "Khonshu... Don't you be giving me that "Cthulhu" Bullshit. Not you." And Steven agrees. "He's kind of right. We can't just use squids to explain all weird things in this world." 

You ready for this? I bet you aren’t. 

Yeah I… I’m gonna… I am not touching this. I don't have the time or energy to sit down and type up a whole manifesto on what's wrong with this page. 

And this is where the now famous line comes from:

Also let’s add some eating disorders to the mix. Why not? Do you have a disorder and feel left out? Don’t worry! I’m sure Bemis will get to that too! Not to mention there is a very underhanded homosexuality jab mixed in with that too! Blink and you’ll miss it, but this is a common way for older shows and media to take a jab at how wrong the GBLTQ world was. Make the villain have some latent homosexual tendencies, usually towards the main hero of the show. 

So now we see Busman, Truth, and Sun King hanging out. 

Truth is following them now, though apprently he sometimes accidentally uses his powers. 

They review a map and discuss where they want to go. 

Bushman tells them about a "Backwards tribe that I 'liberated' before we took over." 

Yeah cause that's... Hmmm. 

They decide to go t that island to start a "new eden". 

Sun King tells Marlene the plan in a gloating fashion. 

"You've gone so far as to tie up a super hero's girlfriend and you're bragging to her about your evil plan. 

You're not profound. You're a linkless wikipedia reference waiting to happen." 

Well, at least she gets that jab in. 

"Perhaps that's so. But I'm still going to kill your child while her dad looks on. Just to prove the uselessness of his cause." 

He tells Marlene he's going to use her to lure Marc to his doom. He also asks Truth to create an army. 

Back with Marc, he is telling her about Frenchie. 

Look, I've always been a big Jean-Paul Duchamp fan. I love him. It breaks my heart that things went the way they did and he eventually left Marc and they had a huge falling out. But I am happy Frenchie found love and has his own chance to be happy. 

Do not bring my poor Frenchie into this world of Bemis.

…I’m sorry, did Marc just describe Frenchie as “A father figure”?! In what universe? Who are these people that think he’s a father figure to him?! 

So Marc has called in Frenchie to baby sit Diatrice while he goes off to save Marlene. 

I'm just sighing right now. Because it's been established that Frenchie is not talking to Marc anymore. He isn't adventuring anymore. 

Frenchie lost both his legs in a mission gone wrong. He fell in love with his PT person and now they run a restaurant together. While Frenchie still misses the adventures, he also is tired of the PTSD and the pain that follows Moon Knight. 

This is just shoddy editing by team Marvel. 

Also this...

And this is how they ended this issue. Cliffhanger dead zombie Frenchie. Why is he in scrubs?

(It's at this point that I realized that Tumblr would only let me upload 30 images and I was going to have to break this up into more than two long ass posts. I'm so very very sorry.)

Part two will be linked very soon. Until then, I'm going to thank you for sticking around this long and hope you finish this rage filled adventure with me.

I'm going to admit that I am biased in not just hating Bemis, but also hating this art.

There are places for art like this. I've seen it utilized well in comics where the nature of the comics stands very well with this sort of art. Punisher Max for instance. For those that don't know, Punisher Max is a stand alone version of Frank Castle that was created in order to depict the ultra violence that Frank Castle is capable of in his search for justice and his never ending war.

The problem is that Moon Knight has gotten a reputation for being incredibly violent and unpredictable. You can probably thank Houston for that, but I'm sure the problem dates back to the 90s (always blame the 90s).

On the one hand, Marc is a former soldier, mercenary, and has anger issues. On the other hand, people have been using the excuse that "He's insane, of course he's going to be violent and unpredictable."

This has, most unfortunately, attracted writers like Bemis to the comic and then recruited artists that are more adept at drawing shocking gore or acts.

And even worse, this has attracted in a VERY specific fan base that reads comics looking for the gore, action, and hyper violence. They pick up an issue of Moon Knight, that has traditionally been based around dealing with mental health, classism, depression, and political issues.

These sorts of readers are easy to spot. They will list issues like Bemis, Aaron, and Bendis as their favorite issues. They will complain that newer stuff is boring or that they can't read the old stuff because it's too chatty. They want the action. they want to see Marc ripping a man's face off and biting out their throats.

Things like this are what goad on the perpetuation of Mentally I'll people being dangerous and scary and untrustworthy.

I'll touch on it more next time, but when we see things like this, it's so important that we don't put up with it. That we tell the big companies that Marvel, DC, and so on that we won't stand for this. That they are the problem. Don't put up with things like this. Don't put up with Bemis.

...Also I just really hate this art style. Every page feels SO static. Everyone is always just standing around grinning at things. Maybe I was spoiled by Bill Sienkiewicz, Declan Shalvey, Smallwood, and Alessandro Cappuccio. These people made even standing still look beautiful and full of life. They knew that sometimes just having Moon Knight standing in the rain could say more than words ever could.

PART TWO HERE.

Let's finish this bread.

[aedesluminis]

Are there any movies, books in which Prieur is in it?

Not many as far as I know. The only two legit examples that come to mind are the documentary Un mètre pour mesurer le monde by the studio Arte and the play I Giacobini (= "The Jacobins") by Federico Zardi.

Left: an unknown guy playing Prieur in the documentary (source).

Right: the actor Luigi Pistilli starring as Prieur in the theatrical representation of Zardi's play of April 13 1957 (source1, source2).

Are these two faithful representations?

As far as the documentary is concerned, aside from the appearance, which could fit the real Prieur, absolutely not.

It's incredible how during his whole lifetime and beyond, Prieur was surprisingly spared from the slanderous propaganda (thermidorian/anglo etc) that his colleagues at the CSP endured, only to be painted as an envious, spoiled child who enjoyed playing dictator in a 2012 documentary on the history of the metric system. He was basically reserved the same treatment of Saint-Just in La Révolution Française (1989).

I will talk at length about Arte's doc in a separate post; for now just know that whatever was said about him is either not true or interpreted in the worst, most negative way possible.

Talking about Zardi's portrayal, it's a bit difficult to judge, because in the play Prieur is a secondary character: he doesn't have much lines. He's presented as military man, friend of Carnot; Robespierre and Couthon are very fond of him, praising his ardent personality, making me wonder if Zardi hadn't merged him with the other Prieur, considering also that he's listed has a Jacobin (Claude-Antoine Prieur never joined the club) and as being 37 years old, the age of Prieur de la Marne in Year II. In spite of that, I was personally very glad to see him being included and described positively.

I was also told by a friend that Prieur de la Côte-d'Or is a character in a play written and staged in 2009 in Paris. I avoid to mention its name, because the whole thing is simply atrocious. Most likely the writers and directors read a few wikipedia pages (in English, because such nonsense can only be found there) on the CSP and thought themselves ready to stage a play about them. Spoiler: they weren't. Moreover there's no script or recording of the play online: it seems to have luckily fallen into oblivion and I don't want to change that.

Last but not least, I wish to mention a fictional character whose personality and background are astonishingly similar to those of Prieur de la Côte-d'Or. I'm talking about Viktor from the show Arcane (season 1):

Both are thin, reserved, introvert, awkward and uncomfortable in public, but incredibly sweet and caring in private. Both had no parents (*) and their mentor/father figure was a chemist, both worked as assistant in a laboratory; both have a limp leg. Both are brilliant scientists, strongly devoted to their work, striving to make the world a better place, but they'll end up using their knowledge to build weapons to defend their country. Viktor's best friend and close collaborator, who he clings to, is another brilliant scientist, who is terribly naive and dramatic, doesn't understand a thing about politics and thus lets himself being played and exploited by politicians without scruples. Both do much of the manual work, but it's always said best friend (hi, Carnot) that gets credit and attention for it, but they don't complain.

It's not a 1:1 perfect comparison: Arcane is a fantasy show after all and Prieur would have never abandoned his mentor because he questioned the ways he was conducting research as Viktor did for instance; still, it's a portrayal that gives an overall fairly accurate idea of his personality.

(*) Prieur had a father, but the latter abandoned him as an infant and the two never really formed a bond, when his father tried to get in touch with him.