#just say you hate pinoe and go

[bakugo-softski]

Hi i have this inkling suspicion that every thing hori does is for the bit that is bkdk lol. Like even if they don’t end up canon literally EVERYthing that man does is to further them🤷🏼‍♀️

Insane take incoming:

Rody exists in the way that he does to introduce to deku/viewers the idea that bakugo is a dirty fuckin liar that says one thing(but feels another.)

My main proof of this is at the end of world heroes mission when Rody says like “stay tf in japan you’re chaos incarnate” but then Pino is sitting on his shoulder sad af like🥺😢😭no🥺😢😭dont go🥺😭😢

Like. Idk man im just saying..

“FUCK YOU DEKU I HATE YOU STAY TF AWAY FROM ME CREEPY BASTARD!!!” But then his inner gay sitting on his shoulder is like

“…die for him. Do it rn”

and “no🥺🥺you’re..quirkless?🥺😢😭what abt the rest of our lives together?🥺😢😭”

You know what i mean? It’s not just me right?

[baalzebufo]

'I don't know what you're-a trying to say…' Peppino sighed, exasperated. He went to turn away, when-

'Pe-Pino.'

The voice… it was his voice, but the cadence was just slightly off. An imperfect mimicry, but close enough that it immediately fired every panic neuron in his brain at once.

---

A little piece of writing to nail down the vibes im going for with my interpretation of Fake Peppino! Having a normal fun day in the kitchen where nothing uncomfortable or weird happens.

---

'Pe- pi- no.'

Peppino tried not to flinch when he felt the heavy wet hand on his shoulder and the voice gurgling in his ear. Deep breaths- okay. He inhaled sharply and grit his teeth, bracing himself before he turned around.

It hadn't been easy, getting used to… that thing. Fake Peppino, as he had been calling it in his head. But he did feel admittedly a little guilty for destroying the tower- its home, really- and it didn't ask to be made like that. Still, he wished it hadn't decided to stick around sometimes. He'd spent an entire week just trying to make sure it didn't attack him on sight! And even then, it STILL chased him from time to time...

But he had reached an uneasy accord with his doppelganger, or at least thought so. He seemed more sedate at any rate, and Peppino had even managed to talk it into helping in the kitchen- which is where he was now, spreading a ball of dough thin with his knuckles, before he was so rudely interrupted.

He turned and forced a smile, trying to cover up his nerves with fake confidence. Ghh- he never got used to seeing him. His fake looked like him, but… uncanny. Stretched. Something wearing the wrong size of his skin. It made a weird bubbling noise- Peppino had come to learn that was its 'excited sound'- and grasped his wrist to tug him to the other side of the kitchen.

'Okay, o-kay! Slow down- whats-a the rush, paisano? What do you want to-a show me?'

Peppino tugged his wrist free and returned his hands to their comfortable position, tugging nervously on his tank top. Fake Peppino had dragged him over to the pizza oven. It was a great brick thing- a traditional piece and easily the most expensive thing in the whole restaurant, but also something he would never sell. After all, what kind of a pizza chef would he be without his pizza oven?

His clone straightened up then, drawing an involuntary shiver out of Peppino. It looked at him. Peppino looked back. He briefly made eye contact, watching as the fake's right eye slowly dribbled down his face- he glanced away before it started to make his heart pound any louder.

'Ah… what? What is it?' He mumbled again, shrivelling a little under the unyielding gaze. He may have been his clone, but they apparently didn't copy the part of him that hated prolonged eye contact, ugh. He chanced another look. His double was looking at him almost expectantly.

Suddenly, he raised an arm- quick enough to make Peppino flinch. But he didn't strike. He simply pointed- one finger poking Peppino in the chest. Then he moved his hand to point at the oven, the heat of which was beginning to make even more sweat bead on his forehead.

'I don't know what you're-a trying to say…' Peppino sighed, exasperated. He went to turn away, when-

'Pe-Pino.'

The voice… it was his voice, but the cadence was just slightly off. An imperfect mimicry, but close enough that it immediately fired every panic neuron in his brain at once.

'Peppinos. Pi- Za.' The fake nodded, looking pleased- then slapped one hand down on Peppino’s head, crushing his chefs hat down and drawing a yelp of surprise out of him.

'Peppino. Pi-zza.' The words sounded smoother as he rolled them around his mouth, smiling wide enough that his teeth looked as if they were about to drip out of his lips. He pushed Peppino a little closer to the oven- his heels dug into the ground instinctively. The heat was oppressive... 'Peppi-no. Pizza.'

Peppino froze. He had learnt not to run- bolting only excited his fake. He stood stock still, even as its face slowly lowered to his. His eyes widened- there wasn't anywhere else to look but into his own distorted visage, the oven's heat only causing it to drip more. Oh, god, it was dripping everywhere…

His hands balled into fists, ready to react, but his body seemed stuck. Damn his freeze instinct-! He held his breath as his fake tilted his head curiously, and then laughed. A bubbling gurgle, face practically split in two.

'Pizza. is. Peppi-no.' He said, happily. Peppino couldn't bring himself to figure out what exactly that meant, because the only idea he had right now- well, the heat wasn't helping, and his vision was blurring, and it wasn't good…

'Peppino. Pizza. Nothing. Compares!'

All of a sudden, he was pushed back. Away from the heat, a cold blast of air hitting him as the doppelganger shoved him. All at once Peppino’s body reacted, scrambling back along the floor and breathing- wheezing, really- trying to get enough air in his lungs so he didn't pass out. All the while he watched as the wax figure of himself dripped like a candle in the heat, spun on its heel happily and giggled.

'Not- yet!' It smiled, face still firmly turned to look at Peppino even as its entire body twisted 180 degrees to stick to the nearest wall- his neck creaked with the strain, more of its doughy flesh sloughing off onto the floor as he moved away from the heat.

'Cook.' It's hand found one of the open vents- it's favorite hiding spots. 'Let him. Cook. Not ready!' It smiled, eyelids squeezing shut happily over misshapen sockets, tongue lolling out the side of its mouth.

'Later? Pizza later. Nothing Compares...' He mumbled, voice softening as Peppino could only watch in wide-eyed terror as it folded itself in half to slide into the narrow vent- he'd seen it many times but he still wasn't used to it. The wet sounds of a body moving in ways it shouldn't, the scrape of the metal... As it pushed itself into the darkness, Peppino saw its face- his face- the last thing to disappear.

'Peppino. Pizza...? Soon...'

And then it was gone.

He didn't move.

Honestly, he stayed on the floor for an uncomfortably long time.

After what felt like hours, his body finally decided to return the feeling to his joints- and all at once he scrambled upright. What- what was that? He thought…

He thought he was reaching… some kind of agreement with that thing. But clearly it was still far, far beyond his understanding. And what it said- no. No, Peppino shook his head violently. He didn't want to think about it. Because if he thought about it, it sounded an awful lot like...

No. No, no, no. That was silly. He just needed to get back to work. He needed to push this out of his mind and forget it ever happened.

He stumbled over towards his pile of pizza dough. Looking down at it, he couldn't help but feel… uneasy, suddenly. A wave of strange nausea rose in his chest.

Maybe… maybe that was enough pizza for one day.

[sixpillarsofgenesis]

A Lies of P Character Comparison:

Carlo:

Carlo’s hair is very curly, regardless of whether it’s long or short. He really, really envies Pino for having straight hair. To annoy him, Pino likes to tug the curls and it drives poor Carlo up a wall because he only does it when Carlo is not paying attention, Pino please cease. Pino will never cease he finds it so, so amusing. (Carlo's hair is a paid actor and will fluff up at the slightest inconvenience and Pino has seen it for himself and laughs about it.)

Carlo’s favourite colour is the same as Ergo. It's a comfort thing, he just really likes the colour.

His favourite outfit is actually the Workshop Master’s Uniform - though he hates the little cravat thing and just prefers a tie. Carlo wears an earring with a chunk of Ergo on it as an accessory on one ear. Because of what happened to him, Carlo’s fingernails are permanently Ergo blue. (This is just vital information to me, I hope you understand)

Carlo follows the Path of the Bastard, using rapiers and other light weapons. His Legion Arm of choice is Flamberge. His throwable of choice is the Shot Put (he was quite good at it in school.)

Carlo is an artist! He can play the piano, but that was learned from Pino and through ruthless training when he was a child, and he holds a negative passion for it. But Carlo loves to draw, and sketch, and even drafted some weapon concepts for himself and Romeo, back when they were still in school.

Carlo knows how to look good! It's a self-preservation thing from when he was in school, he says. Bullshit, Pino says. These two bicker about it constantly because Carlo refuses to let Pino make what he calls fashion mistakes and Pino is very salty.

Carlo has scars on the back of his legs from when the nuns whipped his legs with a cane for misreading the scripture as a child. He's never told anyone about it.

Pino:

Pino’s hair is very straight when it’s longer - when it’s short, his hair tends to be on the wavy side, rather than the curly end. Carlo hates him so much for this. His bedhead though is some sort of nightmare situation going on, Carlo can feel great that he never suffers that.

Pino’s favorite color is green! Mostly the bottle green on the glasses, but dark pine green works too.

His favourite accessory is the green glasses, and he wears the White Lady’s outfit the most, but he stole the green shirt from the Alchemist’s Uniform. He also hates the cravat and prefers to wear the tie from the Alchemist’s outfit. He also has their little cape thing - also in white, he’s got a brand. His nails are generally either bright green or pine green, no in between - he saw Carlo’s and wanted to be included.

Pino follows the Path of the Sweeper, using heavy weapons and blunts. His Legion Arm of choice is Puppet String. His throwable of choice is - none, that's for cowards. (Carlo: hey!)

Pino cannot draw. Do not ask him he just can't. He is a talented musician, though, and adores playing the piano. He wants to play the church organ sometime, but never really got a chance.

Pino always has time for gaudy accessories. At some point, Carlo had to drag him away from a glittery feather boa that had rhinestones on it and Carlo is terrified for his fashion sense. Pino would like to object but Carlo has already decided Pino is never allowed to learn how to sew.

Pino has a few scars from where his Legion Arm is grafted because, after some time, Eugenie offered to upgrade it for him. She spent so much time apologising to him, but Pino rather likes having the scars, and he doesn't think it's her fault.

[ideas-on-paper]

Geppetto's dialogue about the Workshop train

I've discovered yet another dialogue that I wasn't aware of in my NG+ run!

If you've been to Krat Central Station a second time and found Geppetto's secret workshop in the train where you woke up (destroy the barrier behind the chair, then go into the room and pick up the letter), he actually has something to say about it:

[Spoilers for Lies of P!]

Now, this dialogue makes a lot of things very interesting.

For starters, it almost sounds like Geppetto knew that the letter was there - note how he says "the letter", not "a letter". (Of course, it might just be the English translation, but it's noteworthy.)

With full knowledge of the story, the contents of the letter are also very intriguing. Simon says that without Pinocchio, he never would've found the Workshop train, and that "unfortunately for Geppetto", he has the ability to read memories.

However, reading someone's mind and predicting the future are two different things - what made Simon so sure P would return to the Workshop train? And was it truly P's(/Carlo's) memory that he read? You can lie to Simon at the Grand Exhibition and after you defeat him at the top of Arche Abbey, so if he can read Pino's mind, why wouldn't he be able to tell Pino is lying in these moments? Though maybe, Simon isn't reading P's memories directly, but through Sophia - when Sophia warns P after the fight against the Walker of Illusions that the hotel is under attack, Simon suddenly chimes in, calling communication through Ergo "an interesting parlor trick". So, has Simon been watching each and every of our steps from the beginning, through Sophia's eyes?

At the very least, Simon has been watching P since Malum District, as we learn from the letter. He says he had a "hunch" which ultimately turned out to be correct, and also says that "they" followed Pino because "they" believed that it would lead them to the relic Geppetto stole. The "relic" is undoubtedly the Arm of God, and I suspect that with "they", he most likely means the Black Rabbit Brotherhood. The Black Rabbit Brotherhood's ledger confirms they were working for the Alchemists, and the "old broker man" who supposedly consumes Ergo might even be Simon himself. So, they knew that Geppetto was in possession of the Arm of God, and going by the letter, they must've stolen it back from him shortly before kidnapping him.

Speaking of which, during my very first Lies of P playthrough, I already had the suspicion that the "kidnapping" of Geppetto was more of an escorted free ride, and the "attack" of the Stalkers was an inside job. They were supposed to make just enough of a ruckus to make it look like a kidnapping, but what they actually did was giving Geppetto a lift to the Isle of Alchemists. I suspected that when Geppetto arrived there, he and Simon would just give each other a clap on the back and say "hey, long time no see" before proceeding with whatever they had planned.

The last page of the Black Rabbit Brotherhood's ledger mentions a "tempting proposal from the Alchemists", so that at least seems to confirm the part about the Stalkers. However, given that Geppetto and Simon kinda hate each other, it might not have been completely voluntary on Geppetto's part. Still, he was probably playing along for the time being, secretly waiting for his "beloved son" to come to his rescue. So, while these old men were scheming against each other, the Stalkers were really just a tool - in the second fight with the Black Rabbit Brotherhood, the Battle Maniac even mentions they're just baits to buy time, so it seems they were aware they got the short end of the deal.

One thing that's for certain is that Simon definitely wanted something from Geppetto - otherwise, he wouldn't have brought him to the Isle. Geppetto's dialogue might actually give us a hint about what that might have been: If it's true that Simon is obsessed with P-Organs, I wonder if this is the reason why he brought Geppetto to the Isle - more specifically, I wonder if it was because he wanted Geppetto to build a new body for Sophia.

Simon probably knew that Sophia's body was on the verge of breaking, so I could imagine he ordered Geppetto to construct a puppet body and a P-Organ for her that he could transfer Sophia's Ergo into. (Sophia's body during the Rise of P ending comes a bit out of nowhere, so this would at least provide a plausible explanation why it's there.)

At the same time, this would suggest Simon sees Sophia as something more than just his tool. He constantly talks about "purifying" and "improving" humans with the Petrification Disease and Ergo, but it would appear that Sophia is so special to him that he wants to save her and preserve her personality as it is. Perhaps Simon really did love Sophia, in his own twisted way. (Interestingly, this makes for a few parallels between Simon and Geppetto, who also wants to revive Carlo at any cost. Meanwhile, it would make Sophia similar to Carlo, being kept alive against her will.)

[morgana-artt]

A Broken Promise (P x GN!Reader)

Note: would you guys believe me If I said I thought about this and wrote it up just now because I did.

Warnings: Major Spoiler for the 'Bad' Ending and Angst baby!!!!

_________________________________________

Broken and tired, you slowly made your way back to the hotel with tears running down your cheeks. You hated this, you hate what's become of your home and losing the people within in it. You were a stalker and by god was it taking a toll on you, you tried to save a few people but all the effort turned out to be fruitless, most had the disease and you knew you had to do something but without a cure...well, you know. You glared at your blade that you dragged across the ground, the sound of it scraping across the ground with red blood dripping off it.

You eventually got back and closed the gate, it was late so you assumed most in the hotel were asleep. You let go of your sword as it banged with a clang, this caught the attention of a certain puppet who was mulling about near the front desk, his head looking up at the sudden noise. You quietly walked in but not before wiping your eyes dry and taking a deep breath before approaching the puppet. "Everyone went to bed, P?" You asked as you got a nod in reaponse, "right...well, I'll go to bed too. Try not to stay up too late..." You said before turning away, you felt a tug on your sleeve and turned to face P, "hm?" You hummed as he pointed to your eyes, probably still red from crying, you gave a weak smile "it's nothing, buddy... Good night" you said once more before making your way to your room.

20 minutes past and you were on the edge of your bed, in your PJ's, crying as large tear drops hit your pants leg. You tried to breath but it was hard, sometimes you wish the frenzy would have got to you too or the disease- anything to stop feeling like this. You jumped as you heard a soft knock before the door opened a little, P peaked his head in and gave you a look while tilting his head. You tried to clean up your face the best you could but it was pointless.

P walked in and quietly sat next you, the bed dipping as he did so. He looked at you in silence thinking of what to do, you spoke up with a crackling voice, "d-don't worry about me, o-okay?" you hiccuped, "its just...stress, y'know?" You let out a dry laugh but P didn't laugh with you instead he pulled you close and wrapped his arms around your waist. This caught you off guard as more tears began to well up and fall down your cheeks, you gripped the back of his coat and sobbed into the crane of his neck while P softly rubbed your back.

He began to hum a tune you had said you liked, it was the song 'Feel' from the record P had gotten earlier. This made you sob more, words couldn't form out your mouth but they didn't need to, P knew for a while how much you were struggling and could only hug you and try his best to be there for you. "Pino..?" "Hm?" he replied back, "...please don't leave me..." was all you could whimper before feeling your hair being stroked. "I promise." He said immediately, as if waiting for the right time to say that. You nodded into his neck as he allowed you to feel as much as you need. He promised. He promised to be there for you and you believe him.

Oh, how much of a lie that was.

You stared at the now lifeless body of someone you truly loved, all because of one mans selfish actions. "P...?" Your timid voice spoke as you dropped to your knees next to the person you loved. You shook his shoulder, "P...wake up...please? C-come on...let's go back..." Your voice cracked as tears began to fall. No. NO. NOT again. HE PROMISED. So why was he met with this fate? Your hand gently went over the hole that was where his heart would be, you felt something wet and moved your hand to look at your fingers. Oil and blood. You gripped your hand into a fist, rage seething through your body. You were going to go after him. The one who did this: Geppetto.

You leaned down and softly pressed your lips against your lovers and stroked his cheek. "I'll come back for you...I'll try to fix you, my love. I promise." You grabbed your blade and stood up before turning around and walked out, your heels hitting the ground as you felt nothing but pain and anger course through you. You were going to get payback. You were going to retrieve back what was rightfully his. His heart. You had to.

For him.

[04mxfutbol]

Reality (Pt. 2) (Christen Press x Reader)

A/N: I listened to My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift on repeat while writing this. Safe to say my tears have been lost somewhere in the fic. Okay enjoy (:

What hurts more than a relationship breakup? A friendship breakup. Gosh do they hurt. It’s a different type of pain.

You don’t know how it got to this point but here you were. Surrounded by so many people yet not even close to the one person you so badly wanted but couldn’t have.

“You look good today.” Megan says sarcastically.

“I feel like shit, god I do this to myself. Over and over.” You say as you set your phone down. “It’s just hard not to.”

“You’re just torturing yourself Y/N.” Alex says as she sits next to you. “You’re just opening that wound even more. Let it heal.”

“I just want to see her without her knowing I’m looking.”

“So a stalker.” Megan says.

“Well.. no? I just don’t want her to know I’m lurking through her page or even her boyfriends page. That would be weird.”

“But she knows who you are.” Alex says.

“That’s still a stalker.” Megan says. “And it is weird.”

“Meg.” Alex says.

“What? It is weird.”

“Shut up already.” Alex says slapping Megan on the arm.

“We aren’t even friends anymore, not like before.” You say as you pull the hoodie over yourself. “I just wish I could go back in time and fix things. But it’s too late now.”

“It gets better with time.” Alex says as she wraps her arm around you.

“Trust me I’ve been waiting but it’s been years Al. It’s been literal years.”

“Give it time Y/N.”

“I hope you’re right Al. I hope you’re right. I can’t move on. I don’t want this to be my life.”

You pull the strings on your hoodie, covering your face as you lean against Alex.

“She’s here.” Alex whispers and you quickly let your head fall onto her lap.

“Hey girls.” You hear Christen say, you don’t look anywhere, you close your eyes pretending to be asleep. “Alex.”

“Christen.” Alex says.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Pinoe asks and you discretely kick her shin.

“Couldn’t make it today.” Christen says and Alex puts her arm on top of your body.

“Bummer.” Alex says trying not to sound sarcastic. “Would’ve loved to finally meet him. You know, you’ve been dating for two years now.”

“Maybe another time.” Christen says. “I’m sure he’d love to meet you guys, he said he’d try and be here tomorrow.”

“Well that’s great.” Alex says.

“Is she sleeping?” Christen asks as she looks down to you.

“Knocked out.” Alex says as she places her hand on your head. “Long flight you know?”

“If I still remember correctly she probably stayed up all night to make sure she wouldn’t miss her flight.” Christen says, for some reason her remembering that made your heart flutter but also break a little.

She remembers. 

“I hate flights they stress me out.”

“Just sleep I’ll make sure I’ll wake you up if you don't wake up on time.” Christen says and you sigh.

“No because you sleep through your alarms.”

“Oh shush you. Look on the bright side, our families are going on a trip together.”

“True, it was a surprise they said yes.”

“That’s exactly what happened.” Alex says as she remembers last nights events.

“Same old Y/N/N.” Christen says with a chuckle.

“That’s Y/N for you.” Alex says patting your head.

“Well I’ll see you guys later right?” Christen asks.

“Definitely.”

You hear the wheels of a suitcase further away from you, finally lifting your head back up.

“Deep down I trick myself into thinking she loved me too at one point but never told me.” You say with a shrug.

“Come on let’s go back to our room.” Alex whispers as she stands up, extending her hand to you.

The three of you walk up to the hotel room, head rested against Alex’s arm.

As soon as you walked inside you laid down on the bed and curled up into a ball.

“Becky is on her way to grab something from here but don’t mind her.” Alex whispers and you nod.

You soon hear a knock on the door and hear the door open.

“Cap Becky!” Pinoe shouts.

“I’m just here to grab the folder.” Becky says walking into the room.

“Alex.” Becky says and then looks at the body on the bed, that body being you. “Hey Y/N what’s going on?”

“I hate feelings and love.” You say as you stare at the wall.

“Is Christen still being a total loser?” Becky asks.

“She’s not a loser.” You say.

“So it’s Christen.”

“When hasn’t it been.” You hear Pinoe say, you lift your head up and stick your tongue out at her.

“Can I state an opinion?” Alex asks, Becky looks at Alex and she tilts her head.

“Sure.” You say. “What is it?”

“I think there’s more to what happened the night it all went down, from my perspective at least. I mean there’s no reason to end a friendship over two people hanging out right?” Alex says. “I was there that night. I was that person hanging out with you.”

“I was very persistent on her calming down about you and me hanging out often. It didn’t seem like a big deal to me.”

“Then there’s more to it.” Alex says. “Just my opinion.”

“I guess, thanks.” You say as you grab a blanket, covering your head.

The sound machine beside the bed that Alex had turned on to help you fall asleep did it’s magic. Of course with a hint of Taylor Swift playing in the background, Alex knowing all too well it would knock you out, she had a playlist all made for you to sleep to.

“You know we can’t tell her.” Becky says whispering to Alex.

“Y/N needs the closure she deserves.” Alex whispers. “We’ve been lying to her the whole time.”

“We don’t even know the entire story! Christen said something just took over her that night.” Becky says. “You think I know the whole story? I don’t! Christen has been lying to us, we’re not lying to Y/N. We’ve told her all WE know.”

“All we know? Sure, but we sure as heck weren’t blind that night. You and I both know what we saw.” Alex says. “I was there Becky. It happened again that night when we all went together as a team to watch a basketball game.”

“And if we’re wrong? Then what? We give her false hope?” Becky says. “If we’re wrong we destroy her.”

“Well I wasn’t fucking blind that night that’s for sure and you know damn well what you saw that night.”

“I actually kind of agree with Becky here.” Pinoe says. “Are we certain of what we saw that night? Not necessarily but we also can’t kill her hope. We’re not even the ones to be saying what we saw because we all know Christen is the one who truly knows.”

“The same thing happened when we were in college. It was that same look of she wanted me dead.”

“Alex.”

“No I’m serious. But it happened again and this time it looked like she wanted me to know. You were there.”

“We were all there this time but the first time? You said it yourself you guys were in college. We don’t know everything.”

“Christen has been on thin fucking ice since that night.” Alex says. “It’s been years.”

“Until she wants to say something about it then we can say something.” Becky says. “Okay? Okay. We’ve agreed”

Throughout all that whisper yelling you somehow slept through it, the sound machine doing its work as it should and the power of the playlist Alex had made you did wonders.

“You know this is the first time she’s actually getting some sleep. You guys haven’t been there.” Alex says. “I was! I was there! I’ve been there! She barely gets sleep and she needs help. It’s been years!”

“Clearly her first love.”

“You don’t get it, it’s been like this since college. Christen ruined this wonderful human being over what? Stupidity. Ignorance? JEALOUSY?”

“Okay now don’t say things like that.” Becky says. “We don't know that.”

“Y/N needs help I’m talking therapist help to heal and be able to move on.” Alex whispers. "You know I'm right. Christen only ever tries to find Y/N whenever things go wrong in her love life and Y/N being Y/N she lets her back in her life. Then when Christen is better she leaves."

"Okay so Christen is a jerk." Megan says. "What do you expect us to do then?"

"If I knew I would have been doing it already." Alex says as she gets into the bed with you. “She’s been through enough, she’s put up with Christen’s stupid games. Christen gives her false hope.”

“We don't say anything about it yet.” Becky says as she leaves the room.

“My poor Y/N has tried to face reality but can’t because she’s afraid.” Alex whispers as she runs her fingers through your hair.

“At least she has you.” Megan says with a shrug.

“She’ll always have me. That will never change.”

- - - -

“Good morning sunshine.” Alex whispers as she moves the hair out of your face. “Let’s go grab breakfast we’ve got a long day ahead of us.”

“Isn’t today a whole day of team bonding?” You grog out. “If so then I think I’ll take an extra hour of sleep.”

“Funny. Come on get up. Even if it’s team bonding, the time doesn’t change. It’s 7am. Get up.” Alex says as she pulls the first blanket off of you.

“Ugh sometimes this whole being a professional soccer player has its cons. This being one of them.” You say stretching. “A pro of being a professional soccer player is being friends with you.”

“Aww how sweet, nice try. Get up already.”

“You’re so bossy I hope you know that.” You say as you get up from the bed.

“I know.”

After dressing up you both head down to grab breakfast, naturally you sat next to Alex, always feeling protected by her.

“Feed me.” You tell Alex.

“Feed yourself I’m not going to feed you, your hands are working just fine.” Alex says.

“Alex please, I’m sad.” You say, you’re quick to give her the best puppy eyes you could.

“Ugh. Fine. Just this once.” Alex says grabbing your fork and grabbing a piece of fruit. “Open.”

“Thank you.”

Alex continues feeding you some food while also eating her own breakfast. Your head rested on your hand as you look at Alex. You’re interrupted when someone sits in front of you.

“Hi Alex.” Christen says. “Hey Y/N.”

“Hey.” You say quickly then try to scoot closer to Alex

“Christen.” Alex says.

“Al more.” You say opening your mouth.

“That’s the last of it. Now let me eat before we have to go.” Alex says and you nod.

“You two still hang out a lot huh?” Christen says and you turn to face her.

“We do, we actually live together because roommates!” Alex says making you laugh.

“Plus rent is cheap when this superstar gets paid big money with all her sponsors.” You say with a chuckle. “Gotta love living with Alex.”

“Who wouldn’t love having you around all the time. We get to stay in and watch movies and we end up falling asleep on the couch until one gets up and wakes the other up to go to bed. So fun.” Alex says.

“Sounds fun.” Christen says. “Sounds like you two really did solidify that good friendship.”

“Oh yeah, long ago. Ever since college right?” Alex says turning to look at you.

“Um? Yes?” You say.

“Awesome.”

“Very.” Alex says sternly, glaring at the green eyed woman in front of her.

“Alright everyone we’ve brought a team specified in team bonding to come and help this team become better and you know trust each other. We’ll be having activities all afternoon. So after breakfast we head to the conference room.” Vlatko announces. “Also we have Naomi Girma and Taylor Kornieck joining us for the first time. So let’s welcome them both with a good attitude. Dismissed.”

“Great, team exercises. Fun.” Pinoe says. “As if I don’t spend time enough with all of you.”

“You love us though, right?” Rose asks Pinoe.

“You my dear Rose are who I love the most.” Pinoe says patting Rose’s head.

“Ouch.” You say.

“How’s it feel to be a veteran?” Alex asks and you chuckle.

“I feel rather-.”

“Old? Yeah get used to it.” Pinoe says and you shove her.

“I was going to say I feel weird.” You say. “You on the other hand, you are old so time is ticking.”

“You little shit.” Pinoe snarls and you laugh, but soon enough she has you in a headlock.

“Y/N? You still love me even though Pinoe hates you right now right?” Rose asks and you smile.

“I’ll always love you Rose. You’re too precious.”

“Newbies in the house.” Kelley shouts, you turn around and see the two woman walking towards your table.

“Rookies.” You say looking at them.

“They’ll do great.” Alex says and you nod. "Megan let go of Y/N."

"Thanks."

"You're lucky I love you."

“I definitely see Naomi being captain in the future. She has the spirit and looks like could give good speeches.” You say. “But I’m getting ahead of myself.”

“Good thing we all play together in club.” Alex says and you chuckle.

“That’s true.”

You all head to the conference room, sitting down at one of the many tables set up in the conference room.

“I’m ready to get this over with.” You say as you clap.

“Okay everyone, with the people in your table, let’s start with your name and something like a hobby.” One of the woman says.

“So I’m Y/N and I like to sleep? That can be a hobby right?” You ask.

“I think so.” Mal says and you nod your head.

“Then that’s my hobby.”

You looked up from your table, your eyes meeting the green eyes you so hopelessly fell in love with long ago. Christen smiled at you and gave you a little wave. Waving back, you immediately leaned against Alex. Christen’s smile fading away.

“You okay?” Alex whispers and you nod. “Hey. It’s me and you. Me and you always.”

You hoped this camp would finally be the time you both would reconnect after many years of not being friends.

You hoped.

Hoping. Like you always did.

But that hope was running out. You didn’t like that.

“Okay now that you’ve all clearly shared the same hobby. Let’s see if you know each other’s birthday.”

“Birthday’s? BIRTHDAYS? As in the day people were born? I barely even remember mine.” Rose says.

“Yet you remember Wilma’s.” Mal says.

Everyone at your table attempts getting each other’s birthday right when it’s finally your turn you groan. Not wanting to have everyone guessing once again for another birthday that not anyone can barely remember you decide to just make it go quicker.

“My birthday is-.” You’re cutoff by Alex who stops you.

“Oh I know this, easy.” Alex says with a smile. “It’s-.”

“I know your birthday.” Christen says pulling a chair to your table and sitting across from you. Interrupting Alex. “Super easy, Y/N’s birthday is Y/B/D. I know that.” Christen smiles as she looks at you.

You turn to look at Alex who’s just as confused as you are. She shrugs her shoulders as she tries to understand what just happened.

“When’s mine Y/N/N?” Christen asks you as she looks at you, ignoring the others at the table. “Do you even remember mine?”

You reach for Alex’s hand under the table, trying to gain some sort of reality in what seemed fantasy. Alex squeezed your hand three times and you took a deep breath.

"Happy Birthday Chris, what do we have planned for today?" You ask Christen.

"Me and you movies and maybe go to the beach?" Christen asks and you smile.

"Sure, whatever you want. It's your birthday."

“I remember yours, it’s December 29.” You say and you feel your cheeks start to heat up, but also your heart racing.

“I can’t believe you actually remember.”

“I could never forget.”

The rest of the time you were out of it, not focused in team bonding anymore after what had occurred. Your mind still groggy, trying to understand what the hell had just happened.

It wasn’t like Christen to do what she did, plus you had initially thought she didn’t want to talk to you. Yet here she was acting the way she was. It confused you in every single way.

Everything just made you remember the night Christen saw you and Alex holding hands at a game. Which you thought wasn’t a big deal until Alex told you that Christen was practically looking at her like she wanted her dead.

You just never understood why she reacted that way when she sat behind you at the game with her boyfriend. Christen knew you and Alex had always been close you just never thought it’d be a problem.

“Alright everyone you’re dismissed for whatever shenanigans you all will be up to. Be careful.” Vlatko says. “But be careful.”

You immediately get up pulling Alex and Rose.

“I’ve been chosen. Yes.” Rose says.

“I’m terrified of what just happened in there.” You whisper to the two women in front of you.

“Maybe Chris is trying to reconnect?” Rose says shrugging her shoulders. “But it was kind of unexpected if that’s what you’re implying.”

Alex looks at you with worried eyes, wanting so badly to tell you what she had thought of that night, the night everything crumbled for you. But she held back, remembering what Becky had told her.

While you racked your brain trying to find a perfectly good explanation to what had happened, Christen was walking right behind a group of youngsters.

“Did you see Alex’s private story? They went surfing and then to a concert just the other day. How can I trade spots with Y/N? I want to go to concerts too.”

“Y/N has just been going through it, Alex just tries to distract Y/N from practically everything.” Naomi says. “She’s a great friend. They’re both great people.”

“They’re attached to the hip, wherever Alex is, Y/N is right behind. And wherever Y/N is, Alex is right behind.” Taylor says. “I think it’s kind of cute.”

“Oh definitely.” Naomi says with a chuckle. “I do love their weekend cookouts that they invite us to, it relaxes me.”

“Oh my god you’re so right.” Taylor says. 

“What are we talking about?” Ashley asks as she catches up to the two Wave players.

“Alex and Y/N.” Taylor says. 

“Oh my god, they are the cutest. Did you guys see the picture of them both spending the holidays together with their families? When I have a friendship like that I’ll be happy.” Ashley says.

“They’re the best.” Naomi says.

“Cute.” Christen says bitterly as she walks past the girls.

“What was that?” Ashley asks, the two Wave players shrugging in confusion not knowing what may have caused such a reaction from who they thought was the calmest person.

- - - -

After a long two weeks of camp, you were a bit thrilled to return to San Diego. To be in your own bed and be away from all the chaos that occurred. To be as far away from what Alex is saying to be reality you didn't want to face.

Were you not facing reality already? You sure thought you were looking at reality.

“She leaving?” Alex asks and you nod. “If it’s meant to be then it’ll happen Y/N/N.”

“Thanks for that Al but she’s gone now. She always said she didn’t feel the same, others say differently but I do always wonder if at some point she did feel the same for me, for just a little bit.”

“Only she knows I suppose. I can’t read minds or else I’d read minds.” Alex says making you laugh a little bit. “Trust me Y/N. If it’s meant to be then your paths will cross and meet again. Don’t force it.”

“I am a big sucker for hope.” You say softly. “I feel like just waving a white flag you know? I surrender, it’s been years.”

“Don’t wave it.” You hear someone behind you say. “You’re the biggest sucker when it comes to hope and I love that about you. You always have hope. I have no idea what you’re talking about but don’t wave the flag, keep hoping.” Christen says as she flashes you a big wide smile as she walks past you.

“Y-yeah thanks.” You say as you lean into Alex, trying to feel some sort of protection. Alex is quick to react as she wraps her arm around you.

Alex didn't miss the glare Christen was sending her, the same glare she had received from the green eyed woman years ago. Alex tilted her head, she knew that glare, she knew that reaction. Christen was jealous, Alex knew it, it had to be that.

“I have to go but whatever it is don’t wave it. There’s always hope.” Christen says as she opens the door to the car that had just arrived. She opens the passenger door and you see her boyfriend.

“Hi babe you ready to go home?” Christen’s boyfriend says.

“Yeah. Ready.” Christen says as she gets inside. “Y/N don’t lose hope.”

You nod your head as the car drives off.

As soon as the car is far from your sight you pulled out a napkin you had in your napkin from lunch earlier that day.

“Y/N?” Alex asks as she looks at you.

You turn to look at her as you wave the napkin in the air.

“I give up.” You say as you begin to sob.

“Oh Y/N/N.” Alex says as she pulls you in for a hug. You sobbed into her chest as you grabbed the sides of her sweater.

“I just want to talk to her, but at the same time scream.” You say in between sobs.

“Then scream, scream at the sky and scream all you wish you could tell her. Heal Y/N. You deserve to heal from the pain she has put you through.”

You clung onto Alex’s hoodie, a sobbing mess in Alex’s arms.

Some of the older girls walk out of the lobby and they’re met with the sight of you clinging onto Alex, sobbing. They stop as Alex signals them to stop where they are.

“Here I have an idea.” Alex says. “Come on everyone. Follow me.”

Alex took you to a nearby beach, a secluded area where there weren't many people.

“What are we doing here?” You ask Alex.

“Scream. Scream at the sky, scream all you wish you could tell her, scream. Talk to her by screaming at the sky.” Alex says as she holds onto your hand. “Let yourself heal.”

You look at Alex and sniffle. She gives you a supportive smile and nods. You look around and no one was around. You took in a deep breath as you looked up at the sky.

“Scream. Scream all you want.”

You sniffle and wipe your tears. Closing your eyes you replayed every memory, they just all reminded you of what she was to you. She was home. 

“Apparently home doesn't have to be a place.” Christen says as she walks into your bedroom.

“Really? So then what else can it be?” You ask.

“A person.” Christen says as she lays next to you.

“Wow that's deep.” You say as you look up at the ceiling.

“You’re my home.” Christen says making you smile.

“You’re my home too.”

You begin to scream as you open your eyes, looking up at the sky. 

“YOU BROKE ME.” You yell at the sky. “YOU WERE MY HOME. I WAS YOURS.”

“There we go let it go.”

“Me and you forever.” Christen says as she plays with your hair, your head resting on her chest.

“Me and you forever.” You repeat.

“I HATE YOU.” You scream and sob. “I love you.”

“We’re going to live together one day trust me.” Christen says and you laugh. “What? Do you think I’m kidding?”

“Come on Chris maybe for a little but then you’ll get married or something.” You say looking at her.

“Married? Pass. It’ll be me and you living together forever. Nothing can separate us.”

“It was me and you forever.” You sob out.

“You have a boyfriend?” Christen asks and you furrow your eyebrows as you grab your backpack.

“No? Who said that?” You ask as you look at Christen weirdly. “Plus if anything I think I'd have a relationship with a girl first rather than a guy.”

“Oh I just heard something around.”

“Well I don’t so can you calm down?”

“I’m calm.” Christen says making you laugh.

“Why were you losing your mind over that? I don't react that way when you have a boyfriend.”

“I gotta make sure whoever dates you is good for you just like you do for me.” Christen says and you snort.

“Yes because when have you listened to me about your boyfriends, they’ve been terrible and I tell you before. I can sense it way before you do.”

“Yeah but your love life matters to me, I want you to be with someone who loves you and treats you right. I could care less about mine.”

“Clearly. Trust me I know.”

You continue to scream at the sky as you stomp your feet on the sand.

“You ever look at stars and think just how beautiful they are?” Christen asks you as you both lay outside on the lawn.

“Actually, yes.” You say. Christen turns to look at you, a smile plastered on her face.

“Why are you smiling like that and looking at me like that?” You say with a nervous chuckle.

“I’m going to be honest.” Christen says grabbing you hand. “What if we just never get married? What if it’s just me and you forever? Wouldn’t that be nice? Just us and laughter and adventures.”

“I suppose?”

“I’m just really grateful for you and I’m really lucky to have you in my life, you've stayed friends with me for so many years and I know I don't tell you often but I do love you and I appreciate it and all you do for me. I'm sorry I’m not the best of friend, or that I push you away sometimes, I don't mean it. I just don't ever want to lose you.”

“You won't. I don't want to ever lose you either Chris, I don't want to face the world by myself, I want to have you around forever.”

“Us two facing the world together. Facing reality.” Christen says booping your nose. “I love you.”

“Us versus the world.” You say making Christen laugh.

“It's me and you forever.” Christen says as she looks back up at the sky.

As you both laid on the grass Christen reached over to grab your hand, you turned your head and saw Christen looking at you, a very interesting look on her face that you couldn't quite figure out. The soft gaze and her smile.

Christen’s mind was everywhere, but when she would look at you and you smiled, she knew she loved you so much. Everything around you both seemed to not matter, she knew you were her home.

“I’m sorry I don't show it often but I really do appreciate you and I’m sorry I push you away, I don't mean it.” Christen says as she fidgets with your fingers. “I just-.”

“It’s okay you don't have to explain. I’ll always be around.”

“But you're the one who's constantly putting so much into our friendship and I know we've talked about this before, I need to do more.”

“Christen.”

“I don't want to lose you, ever.”

“You won't. Come on Christen we both know we've gone through enough and we’re still here.”

“Yes because you're the one who's always trying to save this friendship.”

“Christen. Hey. It’s me and you. Me and you.”

“Me and you.”

You fall onto your knees as you hide your face in your hands. Trying so hard not to absolutely lose your composure, but you're pretty sure you had already lost it.

"I don't even understand why you're acting like this Chris, you're not like this." You say as you walk closer to her.

"I always say I'm gonna change the way I am to you but never do. I'm a bad person. I'm not a good person." Christen says and you look baffled.

"Don't say that, hey you're not a bad person. You are a wonderful and kind person." You say as you walk up to Christen, cupping her face in your hands.

"I don't know how you're still my friend. You are so fucking amazing Y/N. You don't even know how much you truly are worth, I'm fucking lucky to have you in my life and I should be cherishing you and appreciating you before it's too late."

"I'm right here Chris. I'm right here."

While you sobbed, letting it all out, Christen was with her boyfriend driving home.

“That was the famous Y/N?” Christen’s boyfriend asks.

“That was her with Alex yes.” Christen says.

“Are they together?”

“Who? Alex and Y/N?” Christen asks with a chuckle. “Probably, I wouldn't know.”

“I thought they were together.”

“Yeah well they might as well be.”

“Angry much?”

“No. I just want to go home.” Christen sighs, Christen’s boyfriend sighs and shakes his head as he looks at the road. ”What?”

“You get like this every single time you either hear, see or literally just know she's around. You get so- so..”

“So what?”

“Jealous! Christen you get jealous!”

“I don't know what you're talking about. Why would I be jealous? We haven't been friends since our first year of college.”

"What are you doing?" You ask Christen as you walk into her room.

"Getting ready?" Christen says, you raise your eyebrow as you see what's in her hand.

"What the hell are you going to do with a hammer?"

"Aren't you going to meet someone?" Christen asks and you snort.

"Yes but I can assure you I'll be fine."

"I just gotta make sure they're good for you."

"So you have hammer for that? Christen it's just a date."

"Okay and?" Christen asks as she looks at you, you raise your hands in defeat as you turn around and walk away.

"You're being extra weird."

“I feel like I always come second Christen. Even if she isn't in your life anymore, it seems like she's all you think about.”

“That’s not true.”

“But it is. Christen I’m tired of being second choice to your ex girlfriend.”

“Ex girlfriend? Where the hell did you come out with that conclusion? We were best friends, nothing more. Sure she liked me but I never liked her back.”

"Hey." Christen says as she looks at her neighbor opening the door to her house.

"Christen? Everything okay?" Christen's neighbor asks.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure come in." She says, Christen walks in as she sits on the couch. "No Y/N today?"

"Haha no, she's home."

"Very odd to see you both apart. You guys are always together. She cares about you a lot."

"I care about her too, a lot. She's become someone so important to me and makes me very happy."

"Oh I know." She says with a smirk, a smirk Christen doesn't see.

"Wait what do you mean by that?" Christen asks.

"Nothing. But I'm sure you know."

“She liked you? Oh wow, that explains a lot.” He says.

“Come on you can't be serious.” Christen says with a laugh. 

“I mean it all makes sense, so many times that we went to the carnival on the Fourth of July. Our anniversary. I don't know why I didn't catch that earlier. All those stories you would tell me, I just thought you missed being friends with her.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Are you that blind to your own feelings? You loved her or love her I don't even know anymore.” 

"Thank you for being in my life even though I don't deserve someone as great as you."

"Chris, come on. We both know you deserve a better friend than me."

"No, if I didn't have you I'm pretty sure I'd look for you. In every universe I think I'd look for you, because without you I feel like something is missing."

“No I didn't and I don't.”

“Our anniversary is something else to you, it’s a reminder of the times when you'd go with her to the carnival. You said it was a tradition. July fourth is our anniversary, but every time it comes around you seem so down, like if you have something else in mind. You have her in mind.”

“Oh my god you can't be serious.”

“I should've seen it sooner.” He says shaking his head.

"You're unbelievable, none of it is true."

"Face reality Christen, fuck."

Alex looked behind you to see the girls looking at you then Alex, a soft smile on their faces. They could see it and feel it. They all walked over to you and Alex, all sitting down on the sand as they hugged you.

"I hope you never forget how much I love you." Christen says as she fixes the blanket over you, running her fingers through your hair. "You don't even understand and you won't ever see how much I truly do love you."

“It was supposed to be me and her forever.” You sob out.

You were healing. Finally healing and they weren’t going to leave you alone to face the world, the reality, all by yourself.

“We got you.” Becky whispers. “We got you.”

It was a reality you had not wanted to face for so long, but you had to accept it sooner than later. This was reality. A reality you had to face without Christen was something you never thought you had to do, but unfortunately it had come to that.

As much as you wanted closure, as much as you wanted to know why Christen had reacted the way she did those nights. You knew you probably wouldn’t ever know, but it was time to start to do what you never wanted. It was time do so, to face reality.

[cyanightmars]

F7 eating habits headcanons!

So after seeing this wall of text, a friend of mine asked if i could make one for their eating habits, and who am i to say no U_U

I humbly apologize for the fact that this one won't be as long as the previous one, there aren't that many eating habits headcanons to get ideas from so about half of this will probably just be what i think some of their favorite foods would be- 😭

Anyways, here we go

Merlin

- i feel like he'd be a picky eater, but maybe not the most picky eater out of the group - he'd be the type of guy to divide the food on his plate in "food i like more" and "food i like less" and eat the former for last - it'd be pretty funny if he couldn't handle spicy food like at all - i actually don't know what his favorite food could be- - we've seen he likes carrots in the movie but that isn't really a dish i don't think- - carrots are probably one of his favorite vegetables tho - i feel like he'd have a preference for savory foods (not spicy however, just salty) - probably doesn't ask for seconds very often, but he's done it a few times in the past - always leaves some amount of food on his plate (usually not that much however)

Jack

- SO picky - refuses to eat bird meat - saves his favorite food for last - has called food bad just because of how it looks at least once - "I don't have a sweet tooth, don't be ridiculous" he says, eating his fifth marron glacé of the day - i honestly don't know what his favorite food would be, something fish based maybe- - eats rather quickly, but not like "scarfs his food down" type of quickly, does that make sense- - hates beans - apples are his favorite fruit (yes, even after all that happened with Regina; he avoids eating them in front of Merlin and Snow for a while after the movie's events) - barely ever asks for seconds, you REALLY need to make something amazing for him to ask for seconds

Arthur

- the least picky eater on the planet - scarfs his food down, but he doesn't do it too often and even then he doesn't look like a wild animal when eating - you'll be hard pressed to find a food he doesn't like - probably always asks for seconds - has probably asked for thirds a few times - the group trash bin (aka all the food that everyone else leaves he'll gladly eat) - i don't think he's the type of person to not finish all of his food, the few times it's happened he was probably really tired and fell asleep before he could finish everything - his favorite food would probably have meat and vegetables in it, me thinks - i don't think he'd eat vegetables unless paired with something else, like fish or meat

Hans

- not picky in the slightest - tries the food before calling it bad - always eats less compared to everyone else (because of... reasons..) - probably doesn't have a favorite food, likes most things he eats honestly - takes his time to savor everything, but doesn't take forever to finish his food - always finishes his food - has a slight preference for sweet food, but only slightly - only ever asks for seconds if he's not the one cooking, and even then he doesn't ask that often

Pino, Noki and Kio

- don't ask them their favorite food, it changes every month - not super picky, but sometimes it is hard to find something they like - favorite vegetables are carrots (onions are close seconds) - usually eat everything that's on their plate (or at least they try) - super fast eaters, they can be done eating in 5 minutes if they want to - don't really have a preference for sweet or savory foods, both are equally good in their eyes - usually ask for seconds - have a bad habit of eating so fast that while they're done eating everyone is still halfway done so they either leave the table or they remain seated and talk a bit, either to each other or with whoever wants to - they really don't like it when fruit or vegetables are really ripe, they don't like how squishy they get

[phantomdoofer]

Trigger warning for suicidal ideation.

Side Story: Raggiungendo il fondo

The throbbing pain in Peppino's head finally woke him up. "Uuuiigh..." he groaned. He lifted his head off the floor and looked around. His bedroom. That's where he was. His old football jersey on the wall. A picture of the three of them - he was barely more than a baby, the three of them smiling happily, unaware they would soon be parted. An Italian flag his Papa had brought with him. Posters for various bands he'd liked. Before.

Mama kept it just like it was.

He dragged himself up off the ground, every muscle screaming at him. He was right next to the bed - obviously, in his drunken state, he'd meant to flop on the bed, and missed spectacularly. Several things from the bedside table were spread around the floor. The lamp was broken - again. He groaned, and stumbled into the kitchen, looking for tape. His head was throbbing. Need something to make it stop. He opened the fridge - there was the stack of beers he kept around. He grabbed one and downed it.

The pain started ebbing. It didn't go away. That's better.

He fumbled in the drawer, looking for something to fix the lamp. Then he looked at the clock. Oh shit, I'm late! Again! Slamming the drawer shut, he scrambled to get his wallet and keys. He stumbled out the door, got halfway down the hallway, turned back to lock the door. The foreman's gonna rip me a new one! He left the building, hopped on his scooter, and took off.

~~~~

Peppino slowly unlocked the door, body and heart dragging. He could barely lift his head. As he entered the tiny apartment, he smelled food cooking. His stomach churned. He felt hungry and nauseated at the same time.

"There you are, ragazzo," his mother called. "Come, I made spaghetti. You haven't eaten again today, I suppose."

He stumbled to the table and flopped down in a chair. He couldn't look at her. He simply stared at the table.

She sat a plate down in front of him, then sat at her own spot. "Pino, what is it?"

Peppino continued staring at the table. "I got fired again."

His Mama looked down. "Oh, Pino. I'm sorry." She stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. "But if you got fired, where have you been? Looking for a new job?"

He snorted. She knew where he'd been - he reeked of alcohol. It had taken a major effort just to stumble home, instead of landing in a gutter. "Why... why d'you-a put up w'me? I'm-a useless. Just-a dragging you down. I should just... go and..."

She inhaled sharply, and smacked him. "Peppino Spaghetti, don't you ever say that in front of me again!" She cupped his face with both hands. "You are my son. I will always be here for you. You can make it through this. I know it."

He looked into her eyes and saw love and concern. But her eyes are so tired. So very tired. My fault. That's my fault. She's killing herself. For me. His eyes welled with tears.

The sound of bullets and screams faded into his mind.

He dashed to the refrigerator, grabbed the strongest bottle of liquor he could find, and downed it like water. No, not again. Not again!! As he gasped for air, he looked and saw his Mama staring at him. She must hate me. I'm just a useless piece of shit.

Her heart broke a little more, seeing her son so miserable and broken. They'd never been able to afford therapy. "Pino, if only there was something I could do to help you more. But all I can do is give you time and space. You have to fix this yourself."

Peppino stood, weaving on his feet as the alcohol dulled his mind. He couldn't think. "I... I'm gon' go t'bed." He stumbled to his room and shut the door.

She could only stare sadly at the uneaten plate.

~~~~

Peppino stared at the wanted ads in the paper. It had been a week since he'd been fired, and a week before he'd been sober enough to do this. Not much to choose from. He saw the ad for the construction position he'd been fired from already posted. Another opportunity wasted.

His body ached for another drink. But he tried to resist. He'd thrown all the beer and wine out this morning. No more. I've got to get it together. For Mama. So he was looking for something, anything. The prospects were not good. I've gotten myself tossed out of every good job in town that I'm qualified for. He scanned for anything.

Hm. Gas station attendant. Not much, but better than nothing. He circled it and stood to leave.

~~~~

Peppino stumbled in the door. Three jobs, three rejections. Word of his unreliability had apparently gotten around. I really am a good-for-nothing piece of shit. He wobbled into the wall. The pain had been too much. And the screams had started again. So he'd stopped for a few drinks. And then a few more. Then he'd gotten in a fight with some random guy. He rubbed his cheek. He hadn't been able to find the missing tooth after the guy had punched him. I deserve it. I'm so fucking pathetic.

He sat down at the table and started sobbing. Useless. Worthless. Sack of shit. You let them down. You let them die. He clutched his head as the voices cursed him, the explosions and crackle of fire present as always. Coward. Weakling. Leech. Parasite. Be a man for once. Just kill yourself.

He looked up. There was his Mama's array of cooking knives. He pulled one of the largest out, a wicked butcher knife. He fingered the edge.

So sharp. Very sharp.

All it would take was one slice... one slice and she'll be rid of me. She'll be free. I can see my fratelli again. See Papa again.Just one slice...

He held the knife up to his throat.

Wait. A thought pierced the haze of alcohol and depression. Mama's always home by now. Where is she?

He looked in her bedroom. "Mama?" Nothing. Her wallet and keys were gone. He checked the bathroom. "M- Mama??" Nothing. His bedroom. Nothing. That was the entire place. He rushed outside, stumbling as he fought for control of his body. No sign of her. Her car was gone. None of the neighbors had seen her. He started panicking. He called her phone.

A strange voice answered. "Hello?"

Peppino got angry. "Who is this?? Why do you have Mama's phone! Where is she?"

The voice sounded concerned. "Oh, are you her son? We tried to reach you hours ago!"

Peppino remembered he'd forgot and left his phone at home. Another stupid move. "What's going on?"

"This is the hospital. Your mother had a heart attack at work today."

Peppino's heart and mind froze solid. Mama. "Is... is she..."

"She's alive," they replied, "but very weak. She's in the intensive care unit. She's asking for you."

Peppino shook his head. "I'll be there subito!" He hung up. His body screamed for more alcohol. No, shut up. He was too far gone as it was. He had to get to the hospital.

~~~~

Peppino rushed through the doors to the ICU, and was immediately beset by a burly orderly. "Sir," he said in an intense sotto voce, "this is an intensive ward! You have to be very quiet!"

Peppino tried not to scream. "My Mama is here! Margherita Spaghetti! Where is she?"

The orderly looked sympathetic. "Ah, you're her son, I guess? She's down in 13. She's lucky to be alive. She's been asking for you for hours."

Guilt stabbed him once again, worse than a bullet wound. "Grazie!" He walked quickly to the quiet room. A doctor and two nurses were talking outside the room in quiet voices. They looked up as he approached. I must look terrible - badly shaven, bruised, bloody, reeking. Like some hobo off the street.

"Are you Mr. Spaghetti?" the doctor asked. "I'm the doctor in charge of your mother. She's had a very serious heart attack. She's very lucky to be alive." He flipped a sheet on a clipboard. "However, we can't find any blockages or palpitations to explain the attack. Our conclusion so far is stress. Has she been in any stressful situations as of late?"

Only working herself to death and supporting her deadbeat drunkard of a son. "Yes, I'd say she has," Peppino replied.

"Then it's imperative that you reduce her stress levels," the doctor said. "She needs rest, badly. Otherwise she'll be in here again in short order. She may not survive another one."

Peppino held back tears. "Can I see her?"

"I think that would be best," one of the nurses responded. "She's been fretting over you since we got her here. Hopefully seeing you will calm her enough for her to rest. Go on in. Just be quiet. Try not to disturb her too much."

Peppino tiptoed into the room. The beeping of the machines threatened to set off his memories again. No, he shook his head, you have to be strong for her. But the sight of her hooked up to so many machines tore what was left of his resolve to shreds. He sat beside her, grabbed her hand, and started sobbing. "This is my fault. This is-a all my fault."

She stirred, and looked over at him blearily. "Pino. They... finally reached you."

Peppino choked as he sobbed. "I'm s-so sorry, Mama. I should've done-a more. I'm useless. Letting you w-work-a yourself to death while I hide in-in a bottle." He laid his head down on her hand.

"Pino, Pino." She gently reached over and patted his head. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You've... lived through terrible times. You've lost... so much. Including... yourself. You..."

She slumped back. Peppino's heart stopped. "Mama? Mama??"

She cracked her eyes. "I'm... still here, Pino. Just... so tired. I... need to sleep. But... promise me. Promise me you'll rest? That you'll be there when I wake up?" She looked so fragile. "Please."

He took her hand in both of his. "I promise, Mama. I won't-a leave." He kissed her forehead. I'll stay. For you.

She smiled, and closed her eyes. Her breathing slowed into the rhythm of slumber.

He stood, and walked over to the nurses' station. He felt a fire in him now, burning in the dark. For her. He approached a nurse. "Is there somewhere in-a here I can get some food and water? I'll-a be staying if I can."

She smiled. "Of course, Mr. Spaghetti. The commissary is on the bottom floor. And the rest area is just outside the doors."

"Grazie." He took the elevator down to the commissary. Can't do this on an empty stomach. He took a couple of sandwiches and sat to eat, not really tasting them, but determined to keep moving.

There was only one other person in the commissary, an elderly gentleman who looked around his Mama's age, tall, thin, with a bushy gray mustache. He kept glacing at Peppino. Wonder what his problem is.

Finally the man stood and walked over to him. "Excuse me, signore, I'm sorry to intrude, but is your name Spaghetti?"

Peppino leaned back in surprise. "Y-yes, I'm-a Peppino. Peppino Spaghetti. Do... I know you?"

The man smiled. "No, but I knew your father. Sergio? We were in my Papa's culinary school together. My name is Alphonso. Alphonso Tagliatelle."

He held out his hand, which Peppino cautiously shook. "Nice... nice to meet you." He brightened up. "You knew my Papa?"

He smiled. "Sì. You look a great deal like him, if smaller. Quite the talent, your Papa was. He worked at one of my Papa's pizzerias. He was a good man. Very modest. Too modest, really." He sighed. "Papa and I were both upset when he passed. Papa himself passed not long after. He always said your father's death was such a great loss." He sat. "What brings you here? If I may be so bold, you look like you've been to Hell and back."

Peppino sighed. It was slightly rude, but totally true. "Mama had a heart attack today. I was too drunk to know until I got home. I just-a got here."

"Drunk?" He sat back. "Vino in moderation is a fine thing, but such behavior is unbecoming. What in the world drives you to such a thing?"

Peppino stood up sharply. "Who are-a you to preach to me?" He yelled. Several workers looked at him in concern. "You don't-a know me! You don't-a know what I've been through!"

The man never moved. "No, I don't. But you seem to need some guidance, signore. I would help you, if you would let me."

The calm demeanor took Peppino by surprise. He sat back down. "I... I'm sorry, signore. It's just... I'm so scared, and my mind is still so foggy, and..." he put his head down his hands. "She's all I have."

He reached across and and patted his shoulder. "I understand, ragazzo. Now please. Tell me. There's more eating at you than this. A man like you does not end up looking like a scruffy vagabondo for only that."

"I... was in-a the army. A medic. In the war. They took so many of us. One by-a one. I couldn't... couldn't save them. Then... an ambush. The bombs. The fire. Only-a two of us left..." Peppino poured his soul out to the man, who listened intently, asking occasional questions.

The pain remained. But Peppino felt a little better, telling someone else. It's a start.

Alphonso clasped his hands. "You've had a hard life, Peppino. Am I correct in thinking you're between jobs?"

"Sì, signore, you're right,"Peppino replied. "I've... been-a too deep in a bottle. But I need to find-a something. Anything. For Mama."

Alphonso leaned back. "Then I have a proposition for you. I recently reopened my Papa's culinary school. Would you like to join?"

Peppino stammered. "M-me? A professional chef?" He'd always done some cooking, but to do it as a job sounded... wonderful. Then he sighed. "I appreciate your offer signore, but I could never afford it."

Alphonso smiled. "You were in the Army, yes? Medically discharged?" Peppino nodded. "Then there are funds for such people. To learn new trades once they leave service. Did they not tell you?"

Peppino shrugged. "Probably. I doubt I heard, though. I was too far gone."

"I suggest you look into it, Peppino. If you have even half your father's talent, you would make a fine chef."

Peppino looked up. "Thank you, signore, I will. And thank you for giving a broken man some hope. How can I contact you?"

Alphonso slid a slip of paper to Peppino. "This is my business number. Simply leave me a message and I'll contact you. Let me know when you're ready."

Then another man, who looked like a younger version of Alphonso with a curlier mustache, walked up. "Papa, the bambino is here. A healthy boy. Oh, and my wife is fine as well." The last one was spoken as if an afterthought. He looked at Peppino, and a curl of disgust twisted his mouth. Peppino glared at him. Arrogant maiale, Peppino thought. "Who is this... person you're speaking to?"

Alphonso frowned at him. "This man is Peppino Spaghetti. Do you remember Sergio Spaghetti, that I went to school with? This is his son. He's looking to join my school."

Bruno frowned. "Father, we don't need another janitor."

Peppino jumped to his feet. "See here, tu miserabile-!"

"BRUNO!" Alphonso roared. "You will not disrespect the son of my friend! Always I've tried to curb your arrogance, just as Papa did. But since you've opened your own restaurant, it's come back with a vengeance." He sighed. "You have talent, Bruno, it's true, but your arrogance will be your undoing."

Bruno snorted. "I'm just stating facts, Papa. We'll see how he does." He looked down his nose at Peppino. "If he can even afford to get in."

Peppino cocked his fist back, ready to break the arrogant stronzo's nose and knock out a few of those perfect teeth. But he paused. No, can't afford to go to jail again. Mama needs me. He gritted his teeth and put his hand down, but continued to glare at Bruno.

The man had cowered back, covering his face. "Papa, you can't let this violent suino into your school! He threatened me!"

Alphonso crossed his arms. "If your life had been half as hard as his, bambino, you'd be violent, too. And you need to learn when to watch your tongue. Not everyone will be as nice as Peppino here. Peppino, let me know when you're ready. Come, ragazzo. I'd like to meet my grandson." He bowed to Peppino and left. Bruno gave him a sullen glare, then followed.

Peppino sat down. An amazing opportunity had just landed on his lap. I can't let this one slip past me. He slapped the table. I WON'T.

~~~~

It had been three weeks before Margherita had been able to come home. Death had been close. Peppino had been on a blade's edge the entire time. He couldn't spend all his time at the hospital - if he was going to take care of himself, he couldn't do it in a public restroom. So, after the first night, they had decided he would stay during the day and go home at night.

Peppino had also resolved to break his alcoholism. That had been maddening. Every day, and all night, his body screamed at him for alcohol. The pain was excruciating. Violent, nauseous migraines tore his patience to shreds. He'd almost broken their table in half one night in a pained rage. He cried and moaned through the nights, alternately begging himself for a drink and growling obscenities at himself for his weakness. For her, for you, for them had become his mantra. He ran to the hospital and back every day, trying to sweat some of the weight off. It was... hard. But slowly, he started to feel a difference. His heart didn't seem to pound as much. He didn't get as winded going up the stairs. The pain started to lessen. He slept a bit more.

Of course, the night terrors remained. But he had a tether now, something to aim for.

For her. For you. For them.

One day, cleaning a closet, he'd found a priceless treasure: his Papa's old recipe book. As he'd leafed through the pages, a small note had fallen out. He carefully opened the crackling paper.

His father's hand.

Pino, as I write this...

A few minutes later, Peppino's face was awash with tears. He gently hugged the letter to his chest, as choking sobs tore through him.

Peppino rocked gently, as he digested the loving words of a father he'd barely gotten to know.

~~~~

On the twenty-second day after her heart attack, Peppino carefully loaded her into a cab. "Are you Ok, Mama?" he asked.

"I'm fine, Pino, really," she said, her voice weak but cheerful. "Stop acting like an old broody gallina."

Peppino was happy enough to try some sarcasm. "Oh, sorry Mama, I guess I shouldn't-a worry when you nearly die."

She slapped him gently on the arm as the cab took off. "Shush, you. You know I appreciate it. I just want to sleep in my own bed." She leaned back and closed her eyes. "The constant beeping made it hard to rest properly." She cracked open an eye, and grinned mischievously. "You didn't sell the bed, did you?"

Peppino rolled his eyes. "Ay, Mama, you're in a mood today." He smiled. "I'm glad."

She pinched his cheek. "There's less cheek there to pinch, Pino. You've been working hard. Have you spoken to Alphonso yet?"

Peppino nodded. "I told him once I-a got you settled I'd be ready. The grants came-a through already. I'll-a start next week."

"She nodded again. "Good." She looked at him pointedly. "I want you to promise me something, Peppino Antonio Spaghetti."

He sat up straight. Funny how a twenty-five year old man still turns into a little kid when his Mama uses his full name. "Of course, Mama."

"Don't give up on this to spare me. I want you to promise you'll finish. That you'll make a life for yourself."

His eyes widened. "Mama, I can't- I won't just abandon you!"

"I don't mean completely, you silly polpetta! I mean, don't skip class to sit with me. Don't miss studying to cook me dinner. Do what you must to succeed." She patted his face. "That will make me happier than anything else."

He relaxed a bit. "S-sì. Va bene, Mama. If that's what you want."

When they arrived, Peppino grabbed her bag and hopped out, running up the stairs to unlock the door, dropped the bag, and ran back down. Before she could say a word, he paid the cabby, scooped her up, and carried her up the stairs.

"Peppino Spaghetti! Put me down proprio adesso!" She laughed. He smiled at her. "You have gotten stronger, Pino. I'm glad to see some of the old you back."

He kicked the door closed behind them, then deposited her in the old recliner. When his back was turned, she snuggled down in it a bit. He's more like you sometimes than I can stand, Sergio, she thought, but that's a good thing, meno male. At least he didn't take after my side.

He fussed around the kitchen, preparing dinner. "What would you like, Mama?"

She leaned back and grinned. "Surprise me, ragazzo."

[paperrretro]

LIGHTSTRUCK | pt. 11

Pairing: Merlin x Reader

Word Count: 1,960 words

Warnings: None

Summary: Your father accepts a position as Prince Merlin’s magic tutor, and you are unceremoniously dragged along.

(Or, pieces of your unspectacular life in and out of the royal palace, and how a certain idiotic prince somehow gets wrapped up in it either way.)

read on quotev | read on ao3

The front door hardly cracks open before you push your way into the F7’s home, hand buried in your satchel to grope around for the five test tubes of the day.  

“So I’ve been doing research on transformative magic, and I’m gonna need some blood –”

“[Y/n] –”

“Not a lot, just half a tube so I can add it to one of the solutions.” You find all of the tubes and pull them out, followed by your collapsible test tube rack, and set everything on the coffee table in the living room. Now to find your needle and syringe. “If you’re okay with giving more, that’d be better, but –”

“[Y/n]!”

Hans snaps his fingers in front of your face. You tear your gaze away from the depths of your satchel to glare at him.

“What?”

He fixes you with a desperate look, eyes darting towards the couch. You slowly follow his gaze.

There is a taller, unfamiliar person in the living room.

“We have a very special guest.”

It’s no joke. Squished in between Jack and Pino is literally the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen. Shiny-soft brown hair, clear skin, slim and dainty figure, the whole package. And she looks very concerned.

“Oh.” You stare. “Who are you?”

(Hans slaps a hand against his forehead.)

The girl’s surprised expression gives way to an easy smile as she stands up. “Red Shoes,” says Red Shoes, extending a hand. You glance down at her shoes. They are, in fact, red. She must be from a Western Kingdom. “Um, it’s nice to meet you? [Y/n], right?”

You nod, more perplexed by the minute. Her hand remains extended, and it suddenly occurs to you that you’re supposed to shake it. So you do, quickly and briefly. “Sorry. Are you cursed too, or something?”

Her brow furrows. “… ‘Too’?”

“Aha, ha, HA,” Jack laughs loudly and runs over to you, pushing you towards the kitchen. “Cursed! You’re so funny, mon ami. Obviously, she’s not, and obviously, we’re not, either. How could you ask that of someone you just met? It’s not polite.”

“Well, why else would she be here –”

“Let us catch you up.” With a grunt, Jack and Hans shove you into the kitchen and slam the door shut. Jack drops the façade and shakes you. “Do not ruin this for me!”

“Who is she?” you ask him with a frown. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Nothing! She’s the most beautiful woman we’ve ever laid eyes on, and she doesn’t hate us!” Hans whispers, pulling at his hair in excitement. “She could break the curse!”

Your frown deepens. “I’m already working on it. You don’t need to bribe her.”

Jack clicks his tongue. “Not bribe her,” he admonishes, rolling his eyes. “Woo her. We’re not barbarians. And no offense, but this way is going to be less painful for all of us.”

“And quicker.” Hans scratches the back of his head when you look down at him, slightly hurt. “I’m sorry, [Y/n], but you know that the most certain way to break curses is to follow the rules. We appreciate everything you’ve done for us, but it’s been a year already.”

Something small and ugly sprouts in your chest; you’re not quite sure what it is, but you don’t like it. You try to bury the feeling.

Less painful. Quicker, they say.

What you hear is that they don’t need you. And the voice that says it doesn’t belong to either of them.

Jack continues. “She needs our help as well, so it’s not like we’re taking advantage of her.”

You perk up, latching onto the information like a leech. “So she is cursed. I can help her, too. What is it?”

Hans shakes his head with a sigh.

He explains the whole thing to you, how Red Shoes crashed into their home and asked for their help to find her father, as well as how none (none! Jack had exclaimed in disbelief) of them are really her type in their true forms. She seems to have a liking for short and green, for some reason. No curse, just a regular old royal kidnapping.

You’re sorely disappointed after Hans finishes.

“You really think if she kisses one of you, you’ll turn back?” you ask.

“Most likely. I mean, she’s gorgeous. We just have to get her to like us back.”

Your arms cross. “And what does your fearless leader think of this whole thing?”

Probably coming up with ways to win her over as we speak.

“We’re all on the same page. It’s just a matter of who gets kissed first,” Hans replies. He fiddles with his fingers and looks toward the closed door. “We should come out now. I don’t want to keep her waiting.”

As the three of you file back into the living room, you spot none other than Fearless Leader himself. He’s leaning against the front of the couch, one hand on the couch cushion next to Red Shoes to prop himself up, talking to her about something or other. And the look on his face while he does so – oh, you know that look. Nothing good has ever come out of that.

“[Y/n]!” Red Shoes brightens as you approach, and you see how Merlin’s face falls when her attention is drawn away from him. “Merlin was just telling me about how you guys grew up together. That’s so sweet.”

Sweet isn’t the word you’d use to describe his presence in your childhood, but you nod anyway. “What’d he tell you?”

“About how your father taught him magic, and how Merlin would help you outside of lessons.” (“Oh,” you say, catching Merlin’s eye. He shrugs. You resist the urge to punt him into next Tuesday.) “You guys must’ve had so much fun. When I was little, I used to pretend I had magic.”

“It’s just something some people are born with,” you respond. “It doesn’t make anybody special.”

“It makes them a little bit special,” Merlin counters. “I mean, the extra responsibility to protect, and all. Not that we’re better than everyone else.”

“Yeah.” Your tone is flat.

He coughs, turning back to Red Shoes. “Anyway, we used to spar quite a bit when we were kids. Would you like a demonstration?”

Oh, he did not.

Red Shoes’ eyes light up. “A magic spar? That’d be so cool. Only if both of you want to, though.”

Merlin says your name in a questioning, coaxing tone, and you glare at him. “You did say that you’d spar with me sometime, remember?”

“No,” you lie. But then you make the mistake of glancing over at Red Shoes. She looks absolutely pumped up, and you realize that disappointing someone as nice as her would be like kicking a puppy. Your next words come out through gritted teeth. “But I guess I could use the practice anyway.”

“You could.” Merlin grins, elbowing your leg as he walks past you towards the door. “Anybody else want to watch?”

“I place my bets on Merlin!” Pino says as he runs outside, and you wither.

“Me too!” says Noki.

“Five gold pieces!” adds Kio.

“Thanks for the votes of confidence,” you grumble, pulling out your packet of talismans as you follow close behind.

“I’d root for you, but sadly, I am broke,” Hans says in an obvious effort to comfort you.

“Sure.”

You don’t know what’s worse, Merlin going easy on you or him absolutely destroying you in front of everyone else.

Either way, you know that you’ll lose.

In the clearing in front of the F7’s home, the triplets draw the boundaries for the spar. You take the side farthest from the edge and closest to the house. Merlin takes the other.

He makes a show of stretching and cracking his knuckles. “Ready?” he asks.

“Whenever you are,” you mutter, shifting into first form.

Merlin puts his hands together, and lightning bursts over him in a wide, majestic arc. He springs toward you.

You slam a talisman on the ground. Throw your arms up into the air. Water flies up from the paper and takes the brunt of Merlin’s attack. You redirect the crackling water towards him.

He dodges. Shoots a lightning bolt at your feet.

Your ankle rolls painfully as you jump out of the way, sparing a glance back at the scorched earth where you were once standing. “Hey!”

“Oh, come on. You can handle worse!” he shouts, already charging forward again. “With the way I am, we should be even now! Red Shoes, watch this!”

You just barely manage to duck his next lightning bolt. Thinking quickly, you feel for a specific piece of paper and pull it out just in time to counter the lightning spidering around his fist.

The ensuing blast sends both of you almost to the opposite edges of the arena.

Bones aching and head spinning, you push yourself up onto your feet, locating Merlin just as he recovers as well.

“Hey!” he protests angrily, brushing himself off. “That wasn’t an elemental talisman just now.”

“You can handle it,” you retort. “Don’t aim at my head!”

“Fine!”

Before you know it, Merlin’s behind you. You’re struck in the shoulder by something hot and painful.

Blue lightning.

When you turn around, there are cracks of it on his hands.

You grip your shoulder and swear loudly. It’s anger and hurt and frustration. When had he learned blue lightning?

“Got a few tricks up my sleeve, too.” Merlin shakes his hands out. He leans to the side to look behind you and grins, chest puffing out. His cheeks turn rosy.

Irritation strikes you like a fist.

He’s not even paying full attention to this spar. To fighting you. It’s all a show to impress Red Shoes.

And you don’t like it at all.

Why?

“I’m tapping out,” you announce, walking back towards the house.

“What?” Merlin runs after you. He grabs your wrist and tugs. “You can’t just quit! I was winning!”

“You did win because I’m tapping out,” you growl, shaking him off. “Don’t use me just to make yourself look good for a princess.”

His eyes move to your shoulder. “… Did it hurt that bad?”

The hesitance in his voice makes you stop only for a moment. You reach up defensively, fingers hovering over the burn. His magic buzzes underneath your skin.

It’s not the worst you’ve gotten from fighting Merlin, and you’ve got a salve that’ll heal it in no time. But you’re still hurt.

“No. I just need to go home now.”

“But why?”

“Obviously, you guys have a handle on your cu – situation. I have to fix my burn and brew some more potions.”

“We have some of your healing potions here.” He’s trying to get you to stay. You can’t believe it. “Let me just –”

“I’m going home,” you snap, closing your bag of talismans with finality.

Merlin flinches back, then glares at you. “Fine, then.”

Red Shoes calls out for you. You close your eyes and then open them again as she runs over, her eyes wide and worried. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I tapped out. Merlin won.” You nod at her. Despite your wounded pride, you can’t bring yourself to be angry at her. She’s so good it’s infuriating. “I have to go now, so I’ll see you around, Red Shoes.”

“Oh.” She seems like she wants to say something more, but just smiles instead. “Okay … well, see you, then. The spar was really cool to watch!”

“Yep.”

You leave. The guys and Red Shoes bid goodbye to you, but you only return it half-heartedly. The walk back to your shop is miserable.

Whatever it is you’re feeling, you’ve got to get over it and fast.

—

Part: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve

[whydoiwrite]

Did you see what Carli and HAO had to say about the NT after the game on Thursday? Do you agree?

Part 1:

Yes. I’m not going to comment on midfield shape etc. re HAO, mainly because I left at halftime and didn’t watch the second half of the game. I’ll say that JJ hid a lot of defensive problems for the team while still being able to spark the offense, and Vlatko hasn’t bothered to change tactics in response to losing her, but I’m tired to analyzing stupidity so that’s that on that, and at this point, I would look somewhere not Andi and I’m not kidding about that somewhere being Emily Sonnett or Crystal Dunn in midfield.

I’ve said what Carli said plenty of time privately and possibly publicly on this site, but here we go again.

Everyone saying they won in spite of Jill never knew what they were talking about. Jill, and Pia, created the training environment they needed to have the mentality to pushed them over the edge. Running them until they were about to break. Never letting them feel secure in their position. You’ve heard Kelley talk about players puking in training and Becky talk about how she felt one bad long ball away from being benched. Yes, Jill was wrong about say Christen for example, but she was wrong about very little. So much of the bitterness towards her comes from things I will always believe were out of her control (Pinoe kneeling, the way Hope was treated, even things she’s being blamed for now ie knowledge of abusive nwsl coaches) because she was under USSF’s thumb. She knew how to be hard when she needed to, she experimented when it was appropriate, she played players where they needed to play regardless of their feelings, she got rid of players that just weren’t it even if their friend and the fans didn’t like it, she admitted (with actions) when she was wrong, and she was soft when she needed to be, with people like Rose, for example, and with bringing Sonnett back in, because she saw the big picture. So yeah, maybe tactically and technically, Tony et al. deserve a lot of credit, but like Carli said, and I hate agreeing with her, you have to know that, mentality is way more important than soccer sometimes. When you’re talking about the elite level, you’re going to see very little difference in the technical side of the game amongst top teams, but it was not a mistake that the US scored in the what? first ten minutes or less of every WC ‘19 game until the final. That was a direct result of the way she coached them, the intensity and fire and “we will fucking destroy anyone in our path,” and “we need a bitch, get Kelley,” mentality that they had. And that came before Jill, too. Tony DiCicco didn’t give a shit, he was a hard ass. You’ve seen what Anson Dorrance has done for literal decades because he makes every single aspect of his program a competition AND posts results publicly. Kelley was about to lose her shit on press members over their doubts about Alyssa. Say what you want about Sonnett, but she would force someone to carry her off the field before she let her team down. Horan gets it, you see her playing through an injury that she shouldn’t be. Alex and Crystal get it. Pinoe’s aging body get it. Player after player after player from the beginning of time til 2019 has thrown their body around and played through pain and pushed as harder than they actually could because of the way they love each other. That fight for each other (or in Carli’s case, for herself) has pushed them over the edge. But that fight is embedded in training, and like I have said before, Jill gave those players a reason to bond (their hatred of her) so they could fight for each other. They were overprepared, in every aspect, for the 2019 WC, and I don’t mean overprepared like fucking planned subs.

Not be being told I ran out of room with my pre-7am rant. Hold please.

[sendme-2hell]

I just came across your post regarding Korbin. And I know you weren’t really asking for any input but I would like to offer it anyway. So, I do agree with you that for her actions and words, she should have consequences. Has it seemed like to us that she has? No, not really, but however, just for me personally, and as a 32, almost 33 year old bisexual woman, I am trying to give her some grace as well. She’s 20, almost 21. To me, that is still a baby. And if she has lived a very sheltered life that was shrouded in Christianity? It’s not a hard stretch to believe she holds those same beliefs. As it is, for her to hold or have held those beliefs, I can only expect her being a part of the USWNT will be either a wonderful thing for her personal growth, or she’ll eventually leave because she refuses to grow as she gets older and bucks at evolving her way of thinking. Having grown up in Alabama and being taken to church every Sunday and Wednesday night by my mom, I could have ended up like Korbin. Thankfully, I have a lesbian aunt. So to me, two women loving each other was just as natural as my parents loving each other.

I think we often forget, despite being on one of the biggest stages in the world, half of the team was born after 1995, and are still catching up to the personal and professional confidence that we’ve known Pinoe, Alex, Kelley, Sonnett, and the other greats from the past 10 or so years to have for almost as long as we’ve known them. Also, I’m not going to say Pinoe was wrong for what she said, but she wasn’t 100% right either. Everyone knew who she was addressing. But a safe space is a two way street. And I’m not talking about having a safe space for someone who is ignorant to spew trash. But at any age, but especially 20 years old, a world view can change with the right encouragement and guidance. Look, I really don’t think Meghan was being hateful or spiteful. But Meghan is such a domineering presence. She speaks her mind, and that is wonderful and I love her for it. But also, calling someone out like that who already holds such awful beliefs, that will more than likely push them so far back away from the line of decency that they will feel they are being persecuted for their beliefs.

sorry, I’ve rambled. I just, I know that in another life I would have been a Korbin with ignorant thoughts and views, and while I was young and just learning about the world and life and trying to grow as a decent human, grace would be what I would need to help change those views. I know it may sound like I’m making excuses for her, but I promise I’m not. If I knew her personally I would try to educate her but also tell her that if she finds she can’t change her view, since you know, we are entitled to our own opinions, and if she wants to hold those, being a part of a team where you are representing the country she is a citizen of means she need to keep those views to herself. She can talk all she would like about her faith and loving Jesus and how she believes he is King. But when she shares her views and attacks the very community that half of her team mates are a part of, she’ll be alienated because no one will want to socialize with her and then she’ll probably be let go or told to resign or she would be let go citing a unsafe work environment. Oooohhh, maybe the whole team should volunteer at a homeless shelter that is focused on helping LGBTQ+ youth. She could get first hand experience.

I agree with everything you said and i think you put it well. I do think of course think that the USWNT should probably be a little more clear about how what she did was hurtful and the steps they are doing to make sure it is a safe environment. I think Tobin and Press talked about it really well on their podcast.

[trustherkindheart]

Megan Rapinoe was directly involved in all four goals of her teams 4-1 victory last week. If she’s the call-up you’re still having problems with “based on club play” we’re not watching the same sport

[ghostofdeadshrimps]

listen, i'm a die hard manchester united fan BUT it really gets on my nerves when fans are like "mY CapTAin ❤💖💓", "YES cApTain 😍🤩💋". yes i won't deny that katie is a great captain. i also won't deny that what katie said is true - look at where the team is now, top of the table, winning games left and right. but people ACTUALLY think that pinoe took a dig at the TEAM when in reality, she didn't - she criticized the board and the organisation for taking a long time to invest in the women's team, and she isn't wrong! it really isn't that hard to understand. this is what happens when people take just a single sentence from a whole ass interview and turn it into drama. it also isn't wrong for her to mention man utd because two of her best friends are playing for the team?! they probably had conversations about it?! and that's probably the first team that popped up in her head!?!?!

[footygirl114]

Las Reinas (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

Need some fluff in my life and couldn't resist writing soft Alexia

Sneaking out of dinner with your national teammates was a common occurrence. They always teased you but they never knew who you snuck out to talk to. Finding a small closet just off the dining area you answered the face time call on your phone “Hi Babe.”

“Hola, mi amor, I miss you” is the response from your Barcelona team-mate and girlfriend of 2 years. 

“6 more days and I will back in Barcelona. One more day and you will have finally be crowned the best football player in the world” you respond back to your love. 

Alexia blushes at this and you cant help but smile at how cute your girlfriend is. “Y/N stop it, you know I hate the attention” she tells you. 

“Babe, you can say that all you want but you handle it so well. You will look amazing accepting that award and your speech will be awesome, do you want to practice it one more time?” you ask her.

She shakes her head no and says “I just wanna look at your face”

At this you blush, but you also hear your teammates shouting your name outside the doorway, you know you time is up with your girl “Babe, I have to go, they are looking for me.”

“I know, I should sleep anyway. Te Amo Mi amor” she tells you, and blows you a kiss through the screen. 

“I love you too, and I cant wait to finally see you in that dress tomorrow” you tell her and blow a kiss right back. You both say your goodbyes and hang up the call. 

As you make your back into the team room, you cant help but think back on the last 2 years, and how moving to play in Barcelona was the best decision you have ever made. 

“Y/N! about time you got off the phone, did you and lover girl finally get it on over face time?” Pinoe yells out as you walk into the room. 

At this you blush and duck your head and tuck back into your seat beside Christen. She puts and arm around you to shield you from the teasing and whispers in your ear “Did you tell Alexia good luck with her speech?” at this you nod. 

Most of the team had no idea who you were dating and you preferred to keep it that way, but Christen had taken you under her wing you're very first camp and you both had little secrets from each other. You are not ashamed of your relationship at all, but as Alexia became more popular she would get less and less privacy. You hated being the centre of attention, it was easier to keep your relationship on the down low. 

Alexia had been the first person you met when you first walked into the training ground. You had literally slammed into her and knocked both your stuff flying. You were so embarrassed, and went to start an apology, when she looked at you put her hand on your arm and said “I prefer it if I’m the one sweeping a women off their feet, but I think this time I'll let it slide.” 

Two weeks later, after some shameless flirting on Alexia’s part, and lots of blushing on your part. You finally couldn’t take it and when you were the last two in the change room you pushed her up against the wall and kissed her, pouring all the feelings into it. The rest was history. 

All your Barcelona teammates knew, most of her Spanish ones knew because they also played on Barcelona, but you were still dragging your feet telling your US teammates that you only saw a few times per year. Your relationship was one of the best kept secrets through the Barcelona girls. 

No one understood how you had such a presence on the field, being a centre back you took charge often, but as soon as you were off the field you were a nervous blubbering wreck. Alexia knew this and was often the balance to you, she loves you as you are and you knew she loved the fact that she got to see both sides of you. You were never nervous with her, and often times you would take control and give her a rest from making decisions. 

You would not change anything over the last 2 years, from the lingering touches, to the words whispered in ears, to the private celebrations of all your accomplishments. Watching her win the Ballon D’or from afar was probably the hardest one yet. You know first hand how hard she works, how much time she spends awake beside you at night thinking over all the missed passes or shots, how she would break down in your arms whenever the team was not playing well blaming herself. Watching her win that award made you want to scream from the roof tops that she was yours and you were so proud of her. 

You settled for an instagram post with you and Alexia squished in celebration of the cup between Mapi and Jenni. You and Alexia wanted a picture with the cup when the two knuckleheads jumped into the picture. A simple caption of “La reina” was more than enough to acknowledge your queen. 

***

Walking into your house in Barcelona a few days later, you knew you needed to chat with your love about your thoughts. You were so deep in your head you almost missed Alexia coming around the corner and jumping into your arms. You caught her just in time and couldn’t resist squeezing her tight to you. “welcome home mi amor” she whispered in your ear. 

You pulled back and looked into her eyes and said “Congratulations La Reina” 

At this she couldn’t resist and she leaned in and kissed you hard, you moved your hands from her back down to her ass and lead her towards the couch. You slowly dropped her onto the couch, following her without breaking the kiss. 

When the need for air became too much you both pulled back and you couldn’t resist saying “I am so proud of you babe. You deserve this and so much more”

With tears in the corners of her eyes she looks up at you and says “I love you” 

You couldn’t help it but you had to kiss her at that, she pushed you up grabbed your hand and lead you toward your bedroom. 

**

The next day the team held an open practice, where fans could come and watch you train. You and Alexia always remained professional when at the stadiums, but you couldn’t help but keep your eyes on her all over the field. Any chance you had you were near her and had to remind your self that the fans are watching. 

Setting up for practicing attacking corner kicks, you were lined up behind her and in front of Mapi waiting for a ball to be sent in. The coach blew his whistle and made everyone wait as he gave instructions to the defending keeper. At this break you leaned into your lover from behind, with your hands on her hips, and whispered into her ear “You look so hot when you're working so hard, I cant wait till we get home and can shower.” 

You could see her blush, as well as her Mapi snicker behind you. Noticing the coach still being distracted she leaned back into you and whispered “Babe, you haven’t earned that yet.” 

The whistle then blows and it signals the start of the drill, you cant help but to feel like you just got beat at your own game. 

**

After the practice the team wondered around the stands signing autographs and taking pictures, most of your teammates were done and already in the locker room. You look up and see a small group of 6 or 7 year olds all surrounding your girlfriend, who is on her knees signing all their jerseys. You just stand that and watch and cant help but feel your heart grow with love for that women. 

“You have hearteyes on” Mapi says as she walks by with Jenni who smacks you on the head. 

You blush and respond back “Can you blame me?”

“Mapi, is Y/N finally gonna respond to our teasing and not just blush?” Jenni teases you. 

“Come on, Im not that bad” You try to argue back, but you feel someone come up behind you and place their hand on the small of your back. You turn your head slightly and realize Alexia has walked over. 

“Babe, you are that bad, you normally cant string together a sentence when they tease you” she says. Both Jenni and Mapi burst out laughing at that, and you turn to your love with an offended look. You can tell that all she wants to do is reach out and kiss you, so you shake your head slightly and decide to head into the change room. 

All you can think about is how you want to be able to kiss her whenever and wherever you want to. 

**

It's later that night, when you had both had dinner and while Alexia does the dishes you are standing outside, leaning on the balcony watching the stars. You are so lost on thought that you don’t hear Alexia come up behind you and put her hands around your waist, press her front to your back and place her head on your shoulder. 

“Penny for your thoughts mi amor” she asks and places a kiss on the side of your neck. 

You stay staring at the sky as you savour this moment , the comfort you feel in your lovers arms like this. You think about how you want to say this and say “just thinking about us, and how much I love you”

“I love you too” she says as she places a series of kisses up her neck. 

“We should talk though” At this she freezes, you cant see her face but you know her eyes are wide and questioning. 

You spin in her arms and you see her eyes but you cant make eye contact knowing that you may never be able to say what you want to say if you do. “Its nothing bad, it's just something that I have been thinking about for awhile” you say as you start to fidget. 

She places her knuckle under your chin, tilts your head up to meet her eyes and says “Mi amor, it's just me, you can tell me anything. I love you and will do anything to see you smile again” 

“I wanna go public” you blurt out. “Im tired of not being able to kiss you whenever I want. I want to be able to be a proud girlfriend when you win more awards. I want to not have to stop myself anytime I want to hold your hand or be near you.” 

She looks at you and smiles wide and says “I thought you were uncomfortable in the spotlight, that’s why we didn’t do this in the first place?”

“Im over it, who cares I just want to be able to show you off to the world. I want the world to know you're mine” you tell her with a blush. 

She places her hand on your cheek and says “Baby, I am all yours. You have my heart, you are the one I want to be with forever.” 

You lean in and kiss her hard, pouring all the love you feel into it. 

Later that night you both find a picture you love. You were both at her moms house for a Sunday dinner. You are sitting on a stool with Alexia standing behind you, she is reached over your shoulder showing you how to roll out pie dough on the counter, and you are looking up at her and she is looking down at you, both with heart eyes. The picture is posted on her instagram with the caption “La reina’s personal reina”

[mossybee-exe]

Self Worth|Rody x F! Reader

A/N: This will have some sensitive topics where the reader is a teenager who is sleeping with older men because she desperately needs money.

Summary: You need money desperately otherwise you will lose your apartment because you can't keep up with rent! You find a way to earn money quickly but it's... gross. One night a boy your age comes to your aid.

You let out a sigh as you sat on the lonely park bench underneath a lamp post, being illuminated by the bright white light. You lived in the slums of Otheon, but still managed to have a decent apartment to live in rather than one of the small storage sized buildings or trailers like the others. You were just a poor teenager. Usually kids your age should be in school but you were too poor to afford it, and you lived alone.

But recently you were fired from your job and can't get a new one no matter how much you try. There aren't many places to find work here and the places that ARE there don't need any new employees, and no one in the city want to hire a poor street rat from the slums so that was also off the table. A few months ago, the due date for rent was coming up quickly and you had no money to pay your landlord. Out of panic, you desperately searched for a way to get some quick cash because you really didn't wanna be sleeping out on the streets.

One night you find an older man, probably in his late 30s or early 40s, offer you a butt load of cash in exchange for.. well.. something that was very disgusting and made you uncomfortable. But feeling desperate and trapped, you agreed with him. Since then, you've been having a lot of one nightstands with much older men in exchange for money.

It was something you hated and were disappointed in yourself for. But you couldn't stop now. It was your only way to earn money, but it made you so disgusted.. You were constantly taking showers, still able to feel the touch of the men on you. Every night you cried yourself to sleep from the situation you were in now.

You just felt lost, and wanted an out..

And by some miracle, your prayers were answered!

-

Rody sighs as he walks out of the bar he worked at, locking it up for the night. He has been making some good money, and is saving up for an apartment in the city so him and his little siblings can stop living in the small trailer. Once he locks up and tucks the keys away into his pocket, he looks at Pino perched on his shoulder. "Alright, let's get home to Roro and Lala!" He says to her and Pino chirps happily. Rody starts heading down the street back to his trailer.

On his walk back though, he notices these two people by the bus stop. He was able to see them thanks to one of the only street lamps on the street. It looked like a young girl dressed up in a knee length blue dress with spaghetti straps around his age and a MUCH older man who was probably in his 50s. He watches as the man was grabbing you and trying to drag you away back to his place. Your feet were slowly shuffling with him but another part of you was trying to get away from him, not wanting to live like this anymore.

Rody has seen a lot of sketchy and shady stuff in his life. He pretty much grew up here so he knew how creepy the people could be, and this man was setting off so many red flags in his head, to the point where Pino was puffing up from anger and disgust.

"Come on! You promised you'd allow me to have at you tonight! Do you want the money or not??" The man asks. You just stared at him with this lost expression. It was like you were having an internal conflict with yourself! One side of you wanted to go with the man because you needed the money but the other side of you was begging for you to say no and stop this madness.

Either way, Rody could tell that you were uncomfortable and decided he needed to step him. I just hope I don't have to fight or run away from anyone tonight! He thought as he swiftly and confidently walked over to you two. You feel an arm suddenly wrap around your waist and you jumped a bit and you looked over with wide surprised eyes to see a man about the same age as you standing next to you. Rody had a confident smirk on his face.

"She isn't interested man, sorry to burst your bubble." Rody says to the older man as he threw his grip off of your right arm. The older man scoffs. "Don't butt into this, kid. It's past your bedtime! The girl is coming with me! She wants to!" He argues back. Rody glanced over at you and saw you look at him with these wide eyes that really didn't want to go with him.

He tightens his grip on your waist slightly as if to reassure you that he'll help. He then looks back at the man and shrugs. "Well she changed her mind! So why don't you take your bruised ego and beat it?" He spat back. The man was angry but luckily he just huffs as he walked away. Rody had let out a small breath he didn't know he was holding. Thank goodness he left! I don't think I would've been able to fight the man off! He thought to himself.

His attention the goes back to you and he unwraps his arm and looks at you. You rubbed your hands softly up and down your arms as you avoided his gaze. "Are you okay?" He asks, genuinely concerned for you. "Uhm.. y-yeah.. thanks.." You mutter out. "You're welcome. You should be getting home soon though, there's a lot of creeps out here at this time of night!" He warns you, and you just nod in reply. "I know.." You mutter out as well before you couldn't hold back the dam anymore and you broke down crying.

This caused Rody to freak out. "Ah! Are you sure you're okay?! Are you hurt or something??" He asks worriedly. "N-no I'm so-sorry! I just... it's a long story!" You tell him, apologizing. You felt bad for taking up some stranger's time. Rody looks around as he desperately tries to figure out what he should do with you. I can't just leave her, can I?? He thought to himself. That's when he sees Deku's face in his mind and inwardly sighs. Why do you have to be so right, hero? He thought to himself as a small smile returns to his face.

"Alright, listen. How about you come back to my place tonight?" He offers, causing you to look up at him with wide, tear filled eyes. "No, I can't ask you to do that. I don't wanna be a bother." You tell him, trying to refuse but he shakes his head. "I insist. I promise you're not bothering me." He reassures you as he takes off his tan-beige jacket and drapes it over your shoulders. "You can talk to me on the walk there if you want." He adds.

You eventually wrapped the jacket around you and just give him a silent nod, and then you two were off. You two walked in silence for a while, but you enjoyed it. You were glad that he wasn't pushing you to tell him what happened. "So what's your name exactly?" He suddenly asks. "Uhm.. Y/N.. and you?" You reply quietly. "You can call me Rody Soul."

So that's why he looked familiar! You remember seeing his name and face all over the news after the incident with Humarize and how he had stopped all of the bombs! "I'm sorry you had to do that for me.. I'm kinda a bother.." You apologize, looking away from his gaze. "You don't need to be sorry! You aren't a bother! If anything I'd be more upset if you went with the man anyway!" He reassures you.

"But I am wondering why he had claimed you wanted to go with him. You didn't did you?" He asks, still wondering what happened tonight. You were hesitant to tell him, afraid he would find you disgusting, but figured you had nothing left to lose. "I don't have a job.. and getting money is a struggle... So I ended up letting random men have at my body... in exchange for money.." You explain, whispering the last part but he still heard.

You awaited his disgust and have him shoo you away! But all he did was place a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look up at him. His same laid back expression hadn't changed, but you could see emotion in his eyes. "I know times are tough but you don't have to go to such low solutions to get money! I would know! I used to help thieves and that's how I would get paid. But after the whole Humarize incident I started working at the local bar." Rody explains as the two of you kept walking.

"If you need a job I can put in a good word for you at my place of work!" He offers. Not even a hint of disgust or anger in his eyes. Just pure intentions. "T-that.. would be helpful.." You mutter quietly while looking away.

You soon see his trailer in the distance but he says one last thing. "Just so you know, you're definitely worth more than selling your body, just remember that."

You feel tears come back to your eyes, but they weren't sad this time. They were happiness! To know that someone doesn't judge you and is wanting to help you. Free you from this prison.

You couldn't help but smile a tiny bit.

[outsideratheart]

Rendezvous On The Tennis Court (Julie Johnston x reader)

A/N: I got inspiration for this fic from an interview Sue Bird did. She told the interviewer that she met up with Megan in Tokyo but it had to be outdoors and social distanced.

Part 2

Being in Tokyo with Team USA was a dream come true. It was your second time representing your country at the olympics, the first being in Rio.

Even with the COVID protocols you still were having a great time, the only downside is that you couldn’t see your girlfriend and you couldn’t tell your teammates because you both had decided to keep your relationship a secret.

You didn’t have the opportunity to run into her in the olympic village because she and the rest of the team stayed at the hotel closest to the stadium they were playing at.

Tonight would be the first night you would be seeing her since you both left the states over 3 weeks ago.

You watched as your teammate Sue left the hotel and you left 5 minutes after trying to make sure you didn’t get caught.

You wondered around the olympic village looking at every map as you walked past it. You felt like you were going in circles until you saw them in front of you, the tennis courts and more importantly you see her.

As you enter the court she begins joggings to towards you but you hold put you hand out even though you would love nothing more than to hold her in your arms.

“We have to follow the rules” You tell her and she looks at you like a kid who got told no more cookies.

“Come on baby, you know what that look does to me” She changes her expression “That’s better”

“I miss you so much Y/N” She tells you

“I miss you too Jules” you respond.

She hated it when people called her that but you were the exception.

You both stand there taking in the sight before you. You knew that it would be hard to be away from her but not this hard.

“How is your knee doing?” You ask, you were so proud at how she handled her recovery but you still wanted her to take it easy.

“It’s ok” You see right through the lie.

“Oh really? Is that why you were limping when you ran towards me?” You say.

“You know me so well” You hum in agreement “It hurts but only after games” You raise your eyebrows “Ok so sometimes during games but I can’t not play” she says as if begging you not to say anything.

“Well you couldn’t tell against New Zealand miss woman of the match. Sue was so confused when I started shouting at the TV” you laugh remembering the moment well.

“Thank you. Pinoe was just as confused when I asked to watch the basketball with her”

“So I have a present for you?” You tell your girlfriend “I know that you loved my storm jersey” She nods in agreement “and that you didn’t bring it but I thought that you might like this one”

You reach into your hoodie revealing your team USA jersey giving it to the blonde.

She smells it and smiles which makes your laugh.

“Weirdo”

“What, it smells just like you. I did steal one of your hoodies but then it got washed. This can be it’s replacement” she tells you as she begins to laugh.

“What is so funny?” Her random giggles confuse you.

“I brought you one of my jerseys too. It doesn’t smell like me but it does have my name on it” she says taking her jersey out of her jacket like you did.

You take the jersey, smiling at the Johnston on the back, but just a quick as the smile came it went again.

“You know that I can’t wear this, not here” You tell her.

Julie’s eyes begin to well up at your comment which made you feel terrible but you were only being realistic.

“Why not, is it because it has my name on?” She asks you and you shake your head straight away.

“This shirt, is not available to buy. Which means if get pictured in it or even seen in it my teammates then they will have questions and I can’t lie to them, not directly” You explain.

Keeping your relationship a secret from the people closest to you was getting more and more difficult everyday.

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep us a secret” you confess.

Truth is you wanted to scream it from the rooftops but Julie wanted to wait which you understood. Once the world knew, your relationship wouldn’t just be between the two of you.

“I’m just not ready for the world to know” She says.

You don’t hide the hurt you are feeling and Julie can sense it.

“How about this? We don’t tell everyone but we don’t not tell everyone?” She suggests.

You look at her confused. Either you tell people or you don’t.

“What does that mean?”

“It means we wear the jerseys and if people ask then we tell them. I know you see your teammates as family and I should never have asked you to lie to them but you did, for me”

You move towards her but this time it is her who tells you off.

“We have to follow the rules” she says mimicking the tone you used earlier.

“Well rules are stupid” You pout.

You both sit there talking about the tournament, what you had been watching on Netflix and what food you had been eating.

The chatter is small but you appreciate every word as you know after tonight you probably wouldn’t see her till the closing ceremony or till you were both back in America.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” You hear someone say and you recognise the voice straight away.

Looking around you see a social distanced Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe walking towards you.

“Hi Meg” you say “Fancy seeing you here”

“Is there something you want to tell us?” Sue says looking at you then to Julie and then back to you.

You hesitate, not sure what to say. Julie said if someone asked but was Sue actually asking?

Instead of saying anything, you look at Julie mentally asking for permission and she slowly nods her head.

You stand up

“I have a girlfriend!” You shout a little louder than expected and you quickly look around making sure no one else heard you.

“Don’t worry babe, it’s late most people are asleep” she tells you.

“Not anymore” Megan laughs.

Both of them begin asking questions about your’s and Julie’s relationship which you are happy to answer considering you have had to keep everything to yourself for so long.

Before you know it, it is time to go back to the room. You look at Julie and you feel the familiar ache in your chest, it was time to say goodbye and you really didn’t want to.

“Don’t look at me like that” she says causing you to pout.

“I don’t want to go” you tell her.

“We lasted this long without seeing each other, the next week will fly by”

“Promise?” You ask and she nods holding out her little finger and you make a air pinky promise.

Sue and Megan say goodbye too.

“Come on little Romeo, it is way past curfew and we have practice in the morning” Sue puts her arm around your shoulders as you walk back to the hotel.

You went to bed that night with a huge smile on your face, Julie was finally ready to tell people about your relationship. It might not complete openness but it was the first step.