#just sketches bc im not mentally able to finish anything but i still want to draw them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kenjo-arts · 2 years

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Hey I wanted to ask on how you deal with extrem motivation loss, especially for art. Sadly I am so bad at finishing anything and I mostly have just random sketches and scribbles :/

Mostly i either power through or i say "done" on my scribbles and make a new one. And then keep making scribbles and sketches untill i find something im happy with (that's usually way diffrent from what I set out to draw [but I also have aphantasia so I never truly have something specific i set out to draw so like im used to it] ) For basically every more polished drawing you see here on my Tumblr Ive got maybe 1-3 sketches and 2 erased scribbles i never did anything with. Sometimes i just colour a sketch im only mildly unhappy/happy with and post it like my recent c!Bedrock bros art.

The thing is you don't have to be dishearted about only making sketches if you keep doing it because then you get better and youll be able to make sketches youre more and more proud of. (art is also sometimes also about habbit-> the biggest advices Ive always gotten is to keep drawing everyday (even if it's just boxes or idk hair) that itll help you improve even if the motivation isn't there or youre in an artblock)

Currently im feeling alot of motivation loss myself, which is why Ive not posted as much as I usually do. Which is why I've resolved myself to just keep drawing things im unhappy with untill i get over it <- i brute force it a bit... 😓 Or in worst case ill look at old sketches and just finish something im not that happy about to just get drawing back into my hand.

Worst case you can do like i did in the past (which i still SHOULD DO because Ive been struggeling too sometimes) and draw legs in diffrent poses. Just legs. Legs. Legs. This sounds strange but the likelyhood of you starting your drawings with the head is high so you might actually find it easier to draw more starting from somewhere else on the body. (comon advice is the hips bc that's where everything else goes out from in both directions)

Sometimes it also helps using a diffrent medium or brush. The reason my art shifts sometimes is because sometimes I find a brush i find it easy to draw losely and creatively with <- it's a strange psykological trick like writers writing in casual or funky fonts because it's not as "formal" which lessens pressure.

Because pressure is the killer of motivation in my personal experience, not pressure in deadlines, but in perfroming to perfection. It's also why i draw for myself mostly and kick myself mentally in the face when I get to caught up in drawing things that will do good on Tumblr or twitter instead of what give me brainrot.

Visual of my brain when it's going really well, regardless of how good the drawings are->

I hope any of this made any sense, i feel I rambled a bit all over the place so feel free to ask any questions. I don't have any profisional artist advice because Ive never had any art education outside a few videos on yt, so this is whatever i could think of right now.

ALSO REMEMBER TO USE REFRENCE OH GOD IM SO BAD AT THIS BUT YOU!!! YOU REMEMBER IT!! BE BETTER THAN ME!!! USE REFRENCE FOR POSES!!! FOR TEXTURE!!! FOR HAIR!!! FOR FACESS!!! FOR EVEYTHING IT ONLY IMPROVES YOUR ART!!!! AND ITS NOT CHEATING!!!

#Ask

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feel199x · 5 years

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☆・゜☆゜・stardust, paint, and ambition・゜☆゜・．☆

painter! hwang hyunjin, college!au

a/n: introducing the muse series!! bc im a dummie with Too Many Ideas!! masterlist btw this is the song that is mentioned

warnings: pinch of angst

┍━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━┑

College had been kicking your ass recently, which is why you had been in a cafe for the past eight hours. You had gotten there when they opened, and since then, you had eleven cups of coffee. After that, they just gave you free refills. Finals were coming up, and you absolutely could not afford to fail. You had worked hard all semester, pulling countless all-nighters and pushing yourself until you could push no more. You thought that when you graduated high school, that would be it- you could relax a bit. You had gotten in, gotten a scholarship, so that was it, right? Wrong. In order to maintain your scholarship, you had to maintain above a B average. So, here you were, doing your best- which at this point wasn’t even really your best anymore. So when you thought a super attractive boy was staring into your soul, you assumed you were hallucinating from the caffeine. It wasn’t until you got up to use the bathroom, and his eyes shot up from a pad he was holding, that you confirmed that it wasn’t a hallucination. While you were in the restroom, you tried planning how you were going to ask him about it. As cute as he was, it was still weird to stare at someone. You were especially embarrassed about it because at some point you nearly started crying over a ten-page essay.

So when you got out, you just sat back down. And stared back. Okay, maybe this was weird. But he was the one staring first, and you weren’t one to confront others. Instead of looking away though, he just turned over to a blank page. And for less than a moment, you saw what he was working on. You.

“Alright, buddy, what’s your deal?”

He smiled, putting the pad down on the table, and laying his chin on his hands, cutely, you might add. “It’s not every day you see someone like this.”

“Like what?”

“Someone beautiful in a raw state of emotion.”

You might’ve said something back, but you were incredibly flustered. You knew he had to be an art major though because no other major would talk that way. Or draw people at 6 pm in a cafe, on a Saturday.

“So can I?” he spoke again, voice smooth like silk, “Can I draw you?”

You stopped typing, mostly out of surprise because you expected that to be the last of your interactions. “I mean,” your words came out choppy and nervous, “I guess. If you want to. It’s a public place. Do what you want to.”

“Okay, then can you turn around for me? It won’t hurt for you to take a break.”

You looked nervously at your laptop, looking at the only half done essay. You hadn’t even taken any breaks these past few hours, other than going to the bathroom or more coffee refills. It wasn’t due today, and you didn’t have your first finals until Tuesday. But you couldn’t take a break, you had grades to upkeep. And to you, that meant everything, even if you had to push yourself until you could no longer push. Not that it ever ended well.

“I can’t take a break, sorry.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have things to do. I need to maintain my grades.”

He was quiet for a minute, tapping his pencil against his cheek as he kept staring at you. “You’ve had fifteen cups of coffee since I’ve been here, don’t take a break for me.” He winked. “Take a break for yourself.” You set a timer on your phone, finally closing your laptop. Your eyes were watery from staring at blue light for so long. “Thirty minutes,” you said, “And then you have to go back to staring at me.”

“Deal.”

You pulled up a chair from across from him, unsure of what you had agreed to. You put your chin into your hands, cupping your face the same way you had. It might’ve been risky to tease him since he could’ve just completely botched your portrait. But instead, he just smiled again.

“You’re cute.”

“Just draw the picture.”

“My name is Hyunjin, by the way.”

“____.”

“Such a pretty name, it suits you.”

“Do you flirt with everyone you draw?”

“No, just you.”

You tried peering over the sketchpad, trying to take a look at what he was drawing. “No peeking!”

“Do you usually go around drawing people in cafes?”

“No, there’s something special about you. The stars, they aligned for us to meet.”

“Are all art majors this sappy.”

“Oh, absolutely. And I’m the worst of the worst.”

You laughed, it felt good to take a break and be able to talk to someone instead of staring at a screen where you’ve typed ‘furthermore’ more times than reasonable. The conversation continued, and you had completely forgotten about the timer you had set. You jumped when it rang, warning you that your time was up. Hyunjin wasn’t at all surprised though, putting his pencil down.

“Can I see your phone?”

“Why?”

“Don’t you want to see how it’ll turn out?”

You gave him your phone, and he handed you his. After exchanging numbers, he bid you adieu, wishing you the best on your essay.

When you got back to your dorm, you kept catching yourself drifting back to the boy from the cafe. It wasn’t particularly distracting, you finished everything you needed to and more. But it was annoying. Many people, including your family, warned you that life would pass you by if all you did was study. But your academic studies were all you knew, even if you wouldn’t admit it out loud. Dealing with people, even though you knew you had to do it in your workplace, was difficult. If given the chance, you would choose to be alone or with a few close friends. It wasn’t that you looked down on people who were friendly and outspoken, it was just something you didn’t know how to do. You laid in bed, suddenly regretting all those dances and proms you skipped, all those home games you refused to go to. You were digging yourself a deep hole of regret until your phone beeped.

jinnie: hello hello my muse

If you could uwu out loud, then you would have. You didn’t look back at the contact name once he put it in, you didn’t think he would’ve texted you again. That type of thing had happened before, well, not this exactly. But teasing, making fun of you. Throughout your high school career, many boys had asked you out as a joke. And you fell for it every time. You always had the mentality that one of these times it had to be real right? Surely, people wouldn’t keep lying to you? But they could, and they would. So once college started, you were determined not to fall into that trap again. But this boy was sure making it real hard.

you: muse?

jinnie: yes, my one and only

jinnie: has sent you a picture

Your heart felt warm as you saw the picture. But instead of just being a sketch, it was a full blown watercolor painting. You never thought of yourself as conventionally attractive, but seeing the way Hyunjin had painted you really made you feel admired. You felt like, well, a muse as Hyunjin put it. But you were wary, nothing but cautious. The painting was beautiful though, you couldn’t deny it

you: you’re a good painter, a really good painter

you: you made me look so nice, thank you!

jinnie: i had to do my muse justice

jinnie: you studying at the same cafe tomorrow? let’s meet up!

you: sure, but i have to study

jinnie: no promises, i’ll be there at eight

You spent most of the night talking about nonsense, and you felt reassured. Hyunjin never made fun of you, or did anything that alluded to the conversation being a joke. It was a lot easier to talk to him, and he carried most of the conversation, the only stress being responding to him. You were glad you didn’t have a roommate because the number of times you burst out laughing and giggling was way too much. It felt good to take a break, even though at the time you didn’t really think of it that way. It wasn’t until your alarm rang that you realized that time had flown by.

you: i didn’t realize we spent all this time talking

you: its already seven

jinnie: oh shit you’re right

jinnie: meet you there !

Suddenly, you became very nervous. It wasn’t every day that an absurdly attractive guy asked to hang out with you. Especially when that same guy knew the importance of grades to you. So, with no promises of actual conversation, what did he have to gain? Nothing, except time with you. It felt weird, out of place, and suddenly you were all cautious again. You dressed a little nicer than normal, not wanting to be in sweats again but not wanting to look like you tried too hard. Even though you most definitely were. Before you knew it, you were flinging yourself out the door, already late. But when you arrived at the cafe, your heart dropped to your stomach when you scanned the tables, and saw that he wasn’t there. Another hour passed, and your hands were flying over your laptop keyboard. This had happened before, and you knew there was no chance that someone like him would be interested in someone like you. And you were fine with that, if someone could play with someone like that- then why would you want to be with them? You were just mad that you had fallen for it, time and time again.

“Sorry I’m late.”

You looked up at him, unsure if you should’ve been mad or not. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

“Oh please, did you actually think I wouldn’t come to meet my muse? Plus, we have a portrait due as a final grade.”

You couldn’t help but smile, retaking notes from a previous lecture so you could revise. “Okay,” you said, “But if you’re late again, I’ll never let you paint me again.”

He gasped, clutching his shirt. “There would be no greater punishment.”

After a bit of working together in silence, Hyunjin put his sketchpad down to stare at you again. “Hey, could you put your laptop down for a bit?” You obliged, completely and utterly confused at his request. He put his chin in his hands again, cupping his face as his fingers tapped his cheeks and you copied him. Sure, Hyunjin was cute, but as he looked intently at you, studying your face for his portrait, you realized that he was so much more than that. He could be a model if he wanted to, but instead chose to make people feel beautiful. As he continued studying to your face, you could feel the heat creeping up your cheeks. He had no business being this good of a person. “You’re so cute like this,” he murmured, “I have to take a picture.” You had no time to react as he pulled out his phone and heard the phone imitate a camera shutter. “Hey! Delete that! I probably look super gross!”

“No way! I need this picture, I finally know what I’m going to paint!”

“That’s so unfair!” You slumped in your chair, whining, “You know how much grades matter to me,”

“I’m just good at arguing.”

“Then become a law major.”

“I don’t feel like selling my soul, sorry.”

Hyunjin let you study in peace for a while but told you stories about his adventures in art class while you studied. After that though, he became restless, distracting you by winking and shamelessly flirting with you.

“Hey, hey, ___!”

You sighed, closing your notebook. “Yes, Jinnie?”

Hyunjin stopped, mouth agape and then quickly shut it as he gave a ridiculously big, sweet smile. “Say it again.”

“....Jinnie?”

Hyunjin’s hands flew over the table, pinching your cheeks and stretching them out. “You have no reason to hide all this cuteness from the world.” His hands dropped back on the table. “Let’s go for a walk. I’m bored.” You shrugged, putting your stuff back into your back. “Sure, where do you want to go?” He looked surprised, but eager. Grabbing your hand, he messily shoved his sketchbook into his bag and nearly running out of the cafe. As the both of you walked up an annoyingly steep hill, you realized that the view of the city was to die for.

You both sat on the grass, over a cliff that overlooked the city. As the sunset, you understood why Hyunjin was a visual arts major. With a world as beautiful as this, a constant, ever-changing world like this, you were ashamed that you took no time to appreciate it.

“You need to stop and smell the roses, ___.”

“Can you help me?”

“Anything for my muse.”

The day after finals, you were absolutely exhausted. But even so, Hyunjin made you come out of your room. You didn’t care how you looked, you were tired and all you wanted to do was sleep. But Hyunjin brought you along to a diner, insisting that a good burger and milkshake would make you feel better. It didn’t, what made you better what spending time with an over-energetic Hyunjin.

Every night, for about eight months now, Hyunjin had kept on his promise. Even if it was just sneaking into your door room to have a spontaneous dance party (which he was weirdly good at) or just lay on your lap, giving you attention as you studied. There was one night where you had pushed yourself too far and got unreasonably upset at a grade. You knew it wasn’t a rational reason to be upset, but you cried anyway. But Hyunjin, being the angel he was, played your song on the record player he had gotten you for your birthday. At four in the morning, the two of you were slow dancing as you pressed your tear-stained against his chest, swaying to the song. It was that night, after spending all your free time with Hyunjin, and you mean all your free time. Hyunjin would wait outside your lecture hall to hang out, even sneaking into some of your classes. In return, you sat with him in some of his classes but ended falling asleep on his shoulder as his professor talked about baroque architecture. After all this time, you realized you were in love with him. Hopelessly and utterly in love with him. He made you better and you made him better. He helped you take breaks, and you helped him with paying attention to his non-art related classes.

It was the night of the gallery walk, and Hyunjin had his own little corner with all his work displayed. You had come with a bouquet of flowers, all of which he had painted at some points. But when you got there, you’d never felt more admired or in admiration. All this time, all his works contained you in some shape or form. Hyunjin was more than a painter, his painting looked like photographs. What brought tears over to your eyes was the painting of a picture he had taken a while back. You knew then, more than ever, that you needed to confess.

“Do you like them?” Hyunjin was dressed in a classic suit and tie, standing next to you.

“You make me look nicer than I actually am.”

“Nah, you’re made of stardust and ambition. You’re art, raw and unadulterated.”

“I told you to stop dropping lines from your poetry class.” You handed him the bouquet of flowers. Your hands were sweating, you knew today was the perfect chance to confess but you were shaking like an overworked washing machine.

“Jinnie.”

“Don’t call me that, I have to look like a professional artist and I can’t do that if I’m swooning over you.”

You pointed your feet towards him, grabbing onto his shoulders with shaky hands and made him look at you.

“Hyunjin.”

“Yes, my muse.”

Your voice was wavering, heart anxious to break out of your chest. “I’m,” your voice faltered, stuttering until you pushed the words out, “I’m in love with you, okay that’s a bit forward, but it’s okay if you don-”

Hyunjin cupped your face, pecking your lips. “I fell in love a while ago.” He winked, still cupping your face. “I’ll give you a more worthy kiss after the gallery walk, my muse.”

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