#just slightly crunchier so they sound better

[james-stark-the-writer]

Some music just sounds better crunchy, I'm sorry. Like, whatever the actual sound is that you would hear when something gets like a remaster or whatever like a song from like the 50s or something, will never make up for what your brain thought it sounded like when you first heard it and the crunchiness of the music helps your brain fill in the gaps more and that's why some crunchy music is superior.

[amor-immortalem]

Can I Stay Up Here With You Forever ch. 3

Previous

Warnings: Implied sex

“So, what were ya gonna make for dinner?”

“Stir fry... unless you’d rather have something different,” Her green eyes peer at Mammon over the other side of the refrigerator door. “I don’t mind if you want something different. We can always have it tomorrow.”

“No that’s fine,” The demon nods. “Ya want me to help?”

“Sure,” Arella started placing the ingredients on the counter. “You can start by slicing up the mushrooms, the peppers and the scallions.” She started to get out the pans she’d need before going to wash her hands. “I’ll start with the meat.”

He nodded as he washed his hands and began with the task given to him.

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“So how did you enjoy it?” The pair were cleaning up after their meal.

“It was good. I think I didn’t cut the peppers thin enough though,” The demon answers as he dries up one of pans that were used.

“They were still good though,” Arella shut the water off and drained the sink. “They weren’t undercooked so it all turned out fine.”

“Coulda been crunchier though... Either way, ‘snot like it was bad...” Mammon started putting away the dry dishes into their proper places.

“Yeah, you’re not wrong there. I probably could have fried all the veggies a little longer, but this is the first time I’ve ever made stir fry on my own so I didn’t want to burn them. Anyway, you want to watch a movie after this?”

“Sure, although...” The demon trailed off, “Never mind. A movie is perfect.”

“Was there something else you wanted to do instead?”

“Yeah, a little...”

“What did you want to do then?” She moves to cage him against the counter, her hands placed over his. “I think we’re far past the point of you being shy about what you really want, baby boy...”

“I...” the demon closes his eyes and inhales as she presses against him just right almost as if she was trying to tease him, “Don’t tease.” Mammon pushes the smaller human back against the island behind her, looming over her.

“Is that what I’m doing?” She asks playfully, winding her arms around his neck. “I couldn’t tell... What are you going to do to me if I don’t?” The human bites her lip at the growl he lets out, hooking a leg around his hips to pull him closer while she continued to tease him with quick, soft touches over his body. He’s so easy to rile up.

The Avatar of Greed’s response is only a rush of hungry kisses that leave his human breathless by time he pulls away. They stare into each other’s eyes as they catch their breath for a short while before Arella pulls him toward the bedroom.

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She scrolled through her human world social media the next morning as she ran a hand through her boyfriend’s hair while he slept with his head on her chest. He’d probably be out for another hour or two at least, but Arella was more than content to just lay here and snuggle. She flipped through both local news and news from England after she’d caught up on all her socials, receiving a text from her childhood friend, Aubrie.

Aubrie: Reeeeeeeeelllllllssssss

Aubrie: How’s REDACTED?

Arella: REDACTED? Lmao

Arella: Aubrie you make it sound like my address is the location of one of those SCP files you love to read about online.

Aubrie: Well you won’t tell me where you moved to so...

Aubrie: Anywho

Aubrie: how was the move? Is your new house set up yet? Can I come visit you at some point? When are you going back to the Devildom?

Arella: The move went fine and yeah, if youre that dead set on visiting then fine you can come under the condition that the address doesn’t get back to Lucifer in anyway shape or form.

Arella: And I don’t know when or if I’m even going back at this point

Aubrie: Why can’t I tell Lucifer? Did you do something the last time you were down there?

Arella: No, nothing of the sort

Arella: Its just... I told you about how Lucifer and his brothers treat Mammon right? Like he’s the scum of the devildom and they’re always degrading him or accusing him of things he didn’t do with no proof. How Lucifer gives him punishments that sometimes aren’t deserved

Aubrie: Yeah but I thought you’d had a talk with his brothers about that?

Arella: I did but after a month everything reverted back to how it used to be...

Arella: to make matters worse Mammon ended up breaking his elbow after he and Lucifer got into scuffle over a bloody credit card bill yesterday.

Aubrie: wut

Aubrie: Is he alright?

Arella: He’s fine now.

Arella: Solomon was able to heal his arm and then I summoned him up here with me. Honestly the way he talks sometimes he sounds like a dv victim whose too afraid to leave his abusers. Either that or he’s apologizing it away and I can’t stand seeing him like that.

Arella: So I hope that without his brothers around, he’ll be able to decide if he’s truly happy with them or not. I know he loves them more than anything but... idk you can love someone without sacrificing your own happiness you know? And when his brothers talk to or treat him the way they do, he just looks so hurt after.

Aubrie: Yeah I understand. I hope you guys get that all sorted out then. I’ll talk to you later. I have start getting ready for work.

Aubrie: Bye Rells

Arella: good bye Aubrie.

Arella set her phone on the nightstand as the demon resting on her chest began to stir.

“Well, good morning, Sleepyhead. How did you sleep last night?” The human chuckles as Mammon on buries his face into her chest.

“I slept pretty good- better than I have in the last few days. Thanks.” He reply was only slightly muffled before sitting up and stretching. “What about you?”

“I slept great. You certainly did enough to tire me out last night.”

“Who were ya texting?”

“It was just Aubrie. Sorry, did the sound of the vibrations wake you?” She sits up as he shakes his head.

“No I was just waking up while you started texting. I just wanted to lay there a bit longer... I’m hungry, you want breakfast?”

“Yeah, breakfast sounds great,” She moves to grab his shirt from last night off the floor but the soreness in her thighs and hips stop her as she lets out a soft groan.

“I can make it don’t worry. Just stay in bed and rest for now. Yer gonna have to settle for eggs though...”

“Eggs are perfect, Dear.” Arella sighs as she flops over onto her side and Mammon kisses her cheek.

He climbs off the bed and slips on his boxers from the previous night. He’d have time to get his suitcase from the front room and put the clothes away later, but now is time for food.

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Next

Find more on my masterlist

[sparklyafterdark]

[08202019 Helping pissed off CEO Chris] 

You know that look all too well. His face is fixed in an expressionless mask, not frowning or scowling but just blank, and even underneath his suit you can tell how tensed his shoulders are.

This is why you hate these emergency meetings so early in the morning. The day just started and your CEO Chris is already so pissed. He probably hasn't even had his coffee yet when the damn meeting started.

Normally, watching your bosses and higher-ups fighting and spitting venom disguised in niceties and corporate bullshit in front of you would be amusing. This time, you notice how fuming Chris is. Sure, he looks calm and collected to everyone else. But working closely with him for so long, you know his body language better than everyone else in the room, you know the hidden meaning behind his words, and only you can pick up on how he doesn't slam his fingers on the keyboard of his laptop but you can tell from the slightly crunchier sound of the clicks alone that he has a lot of steam to blow. 

It was so hard to focus on the already senseless meeting when all you can think of is how good his hands will look digging into your hips and gripping you hard as he-

No. 

You can't let your mind go there. Seriously? Fantasizing about your hot boss while you're supposed to be working? You're probably even more stressed than him for having wet dreams in broad daylight. 

You watch him intently as you pretend to be busy typing things on your laptop. Your mind just can't help but wander with his newly dyed dark silver hair, sharp eyes that look so intense even when he's not glaring, and strong, solid arms.

Much to your relief, the meeting ended earlier than expected. Maybe they eventually realized how unproductive it actually is with so many things not ironed out before they began. Anyway, Chris is still pissed. He leaned back in his seat, his jaw tensed in a way only you can notice, and ordered everyone out of the room. 

"Need a coffee, Sir?" You stand up and start to unplug and turn off the speakers and TV used for the conference call, ready to head out. Even though you've been working together for quite some time now and you're one of the very few people who can actually approach him when he's mad, you're still very careful not to step on his toes and aggravate his mood. You know that during these situations it would be best to just leave him to cool down alone. After you get him his coffee, that is.

"I do, but there's something else I need more right now," He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration once then goes back to his cool facade.

"Alright then, let me get it for you?" 

He laughs softly, a smirk forming on his face. "Come here,"

You're confused by his request but you put down your laptop and tumbler, walking hesitantly to his end of the long rectangular conference table and grabbing a chair, pushing it closer to him. 

"You won't be needing that," Your brows furrowed in confusion when he grabbed your hand that's still gripping the backrest of the chair. His grip is soft and undemanding like he's giving you a chance to pull away but his eyes tell an entirely different story. "You have the best seat in the house,"

Chris pats his lap and lifts your hand from the chair, grabbing it gently like he's asking for your hand in a dance, but you know it's something else he wants. You're not sure if you're only hallucinating but his warm hands and hypnotizing eyes right in front of you pull you back to reality. Your feet have no control anymore and you give in to his wishes.

With a firm pull on your arm you find yourself sitting sideways on his lap. He licks his lips and looks up at you with a sly smile, reaching up to tuck your hair behind your ears.

"I guess you now know what I want, baby girl," He hums in a low voice, cupping your chin in his fingers. 

Is this even real? Your heart is racing at the thought of your wet dreams coming true. You couldn't count how many times you've fantasized about this moment, how many times you've gotten off at the thought of him, the man who you thought was totally unreachable now underneath you.

Words are totally lost on you and you could only nod in response. Instantly, Chris crashes his lips into yours and you melt under his touch. One of his hands finds its way to your thighs, stroking higher and higher until he reaches inside your skirt, while the unbuttons your shirt, and your hands pull him closer by the hair. Your soft sighs and your hips unconsciously grinding against his thighs in an attempt to get more friction make him kiss you even hungrier, swiping his tongue across your bottom lip and asking for entrance. 

You moan into the kiss when you feel him undoing your bra and slipping off your panties, throwing both pieces of underwear under the table. His kisses grow more desperate, pretty much shoving his tongue down your throat as he fondles your breasts, until he moves down your jaw to your chest, sucking angry purple bruises in the areas hidden by your shirt.

"S-Sir, I- I need-" You were shut up by his lips returning to yours, biting down on your bottom lip and making you whimper in pain and pleasure as he pries your thighs apart and pushes two fingers into your dripping wetness with no warning. You keen at the sudden pleasure, moaning a bit too loudly, your voice echoing through the soundproof walls.

"You don't get to tell me what to do baby girl…" He pulls away from your lips to look at the faces you make as he's finger-fucking you, curling his fingers to brush past your weak spot. "Look how wet you are for me… You've always wanted this, don't you? Do you think I don't notice how you look at me? Do you think I don't know how much you want me to use your tight little pussy? Hmm?" 

He asks but doesn't let you answer. He pulls his fingers out to let you suck on them instead just as your climax bubbles in your core, letting you taste yourself, the satisfied grin on his face growing wider as you feel his cock grow harder underneath you. 

"On your knees," Chris stands up to unbuckle his belt and pull his pants down and you watch the entire time, kneeling down on the carpet in front of him. "Let's put that pretty mouth to good use, will you? Will you let Sir fuck your mouth, baby girl?"

"Yes Sir, use me," Your voice is small and weak and you're surprised how you can still even make any sounds that aren't moans and whimpers. He guides his tip to your lips and you open up right away, lapping up the leaking pre-cum before he shoves his entire length into your mouth until his tip hits the back of your throat. You grow even wetter at the sound of his grunts and heavy breathing, his thrusts getting harder everytime you swallow around him and lick the base of his cock.

"That's it baby, fuck, so good," He loves it especially when you gag on his length and your eyes prickle with tears, a smirk forming on his lips as he admires your fucked out face. A few more rough thrusts of his hips and he pulls out, hissing and groaning as he tightly squeezes the base of his cock so he won't cum yet. Once he's fully sure he won't explode with another touch, he pulls you up by both arms and shrugs off his jacket, rolls up his sleeves and opens the buttons on his shirt revealing his perfectly sculpted abs, and kicks off his pants entirely. 

You swallow hard at the sight before you and you're probably already drooling. You've seen him shirtless before during past company trips but this is a whole new level of hot. Seeing him so feral and disheveled is a welcome change to his usually polished exterior. You've always known he had a wild streak but to actually experience it? Fuck, it felt like a dream. The veins on his arms look angrier than normal as he pushes you face down on the table and lifts your skirt, slamming his length into you and pounding hard without letting you adjust to his size. One hand gripping your waist so tight it's going to leave bruises and the other hand pulling on your hair, his pace is merciless the moment he entered, leaving you screaming his name in ways you never thought was possible. 

You truly are lucky. Chris is so, so good, you can only imagine how many girls are dying to have a taste of him wherever he goes yet here you are bent over on his conference room table, seeing stars everytime he sinks into you.

Soon enough his thrusts get even more relentless, filling the room with wet slapping sounds and the most obscene moans, the pressure building in your gut until you clench hard around him, your senses clouded in bliss as he pulls out and turns you around to release in your mouth. Trembling hands tilt your chin up so he can watch you choke on his cum. He watches you in delight as you swallow every last drop, swiping his thumb at the corner of your mouth to catch any drips. 

Still shaking from your high and looking like an absolute mess, you reach under the table to find your underwear but Chris pulls you back, pinning you down on the carpet. He hasn't gotten dressed yet, his crisp white shirt that was perfectly ironed barely an hour ago now hanging open and crumpled on his torso. 

"Where do you think you're going?" He positions himself between your legs and strokes his cock as it starts to stiffen again. 

"I thought you still needed coffee?" You chuckle as you completely unbutton your top. Chris laughs with you and reaches up the table to get your phone and hands it to you. 

"Fuck coffee, cancel my meeting at 10, tell them I have an emergency appointment."

[kinglykook]

eat deliciously

word count: 800 words (tis a smol one) 

genre: fluff 

pairing: vampire!yoongi x human jeongguk 

beep. beep. beep.

“mmm... jeongguk?” yoongi’s hand stretched out to ghost over his boyfriend’s side of the bed, fingers slipping over sheets where his figure should be. he heard more beeping and clattering, and a cuss word or two coming from the kitchen just around the corner. the tiny bachelor flat offered at least that. a wall.

he pushed himself up onto the pillows, fluffing his bangs away from his eyes. his vision adjusted to the darkness instantly, each shadowy mound coming into focus. but his boyfriend, puttering around in the kitchen, probably didn’t bother to turn on a light again. yoongi told him time and time again that artificial light didn’t bother him, but jeongguk told him he wanted to get used to the darkness just like yoongi. 

“you’ll kill yourself one day, you know.” yoongi grumbled as he got up, stretching long pale limbs, shaking his head of black hair. “you can turn the light on, jeongguk, you know it doesn’t work like that-” he placed a hand against the wall as he turned the corner, eyes instantly finding the source of the chaos in the dimly lit kitchen. his boyfriend, bent over a rice cooker, a huge bag of rice in hands, and teeth tugging on the corner of the plastic. 

jeongguk blinked at him, teeth still bared. yoongi glanced at the rest of the kitchen. utensils, bowls, unidentifiable blobs of red goop trailing to a container of kimchi. he looked back at jeongguk once he started tugging on the rice bag with his teeth again, growling at it.

“you need help with that?” 

“i guess you’d be better equipped to do this, huh.” jeongguk responded dryly as he handed the bag over to him. probably expecting him to whip out his fangs, yoongi simply flipped the bag over and tore through the perforated corner of the bag, then flipped it over once more and poured some of it into the rice cooker.

“now you want to tell me what you’re doing in the middle of the night?” 

well, ‘night’. it was actually around 2pm, but the blackout curtains yoongi had installed kept out any sneaky sunlight, bathing the entire apartment in darkness. like a possum. which jeongguk teased him about often. 

“wait, why am i a possum?”

“you’re small, you play dead. you’re nocturnal. scream.”

“i scream?”

“remember when we rented that zombie movie? you put your fists up during one of the jump scares and nearly took my eye out.” 

 “do possums scream?”

jeongguk leaned over and pressed a kiss to yoongi’s neck. “mine does.”

yoongi’s lifestyle turned day to night, and night to day. jeongguk, ever the supportive live-boyfriend, tried to adopt this routine. for the most part, he’d gotten pretty good at it; he worked nights at a gym a couple of times a week, and slept the days away with yoongi. but jeongguk was still just a human, and yoongi always told him he should see his friends more. he couldn’t expect him to give up his entire life for him forever. at least... not yet. 

“if you’re just making the rice now, what was the beeping?”

“i... set off the smoke detector.”

“how on earth-” 

“shh!” jeongguk whirled around and picked up a cookie from a stack on a plate behind him. they were slightly burnt, but they smelled good. he happily took a bite, though it sounded crunchier than a cookie was meant to. he grimaced, but popped the rest of it into his mouth. his hungry little human. 

“you don’t eat human food, so i have to eat deliciously so my blood is delicious. i got hungry, and i wanted to eat something to get my blood sugar up so if you wanted blood when you woke up...” 

yoongi snorted, then lifted his hand to flick the light switch on. though yoongi’s eyes could see in the darkness, the light bathed his boyfriend in vibrancy. his bright red gym shirt that he slept in, his light grey sweatpants hugging his thick thighs. the glint of his earrings that he hadn’t bothered to take out to sleep, and the long crown of hair that framed his pretty face. jeongguk already looked flushed with life, his hot blood swimming just beneath his golden skin. 

but yoongi’s heart clenched just for the love of him, not his blood. he stuck his arms out like a petulant child, wherein jeongguk immediately slotted himself, and leaned down to press a kiss against yoongi’s lips.

“you’re always delicious.” yoongi mumbled. a course of boldness struck through him, his fangs peeking out from beneath his pink mouth. the very tip of his canine grazed over jeongguk’s lips, breaking the skin ever so gently. he heard jeongguk inhale sharply. yoongi immediately licked tiny speck of blood that beaded there. 

“hurry up and eat. i’m suddenly starving.”  

[happymetalgirl]

Spirit Adrift - Divided by Darkness

Goddamnit, this month really needs to cool it with all the stellar and addictive album releases; it's fucking up my rhythm. How am I supposed to get immersed in all these albums when they all make me just want to indulge in them uninhibitedly? Why can't some more of them just suck so that I don't have to want to ever go back to them after giving them their fair chance? Woe is me!

Today's culprit in this recent string of frustratingly awesome albums is the Spirit Adrift, a relatively young quartet from the sweaty natural sauna of Phoenix, Arizona whose sophomore album in 2017 I missed because I had homework to do. But I sure as hell am going to be checking out that album and their debut after hearing this thing because, again, goddamn! I know this is probably a very rambly and unprofessional intro that's giving away my main feeling on the album right at the start, but I'm not professional, so let my stream of musically infatuated consciousness be.

Where was I? Spirit Adrift. I'd never heard of this band until I saw Inter Arma talking mad shit and challenging them over Twitter to a test of physical strengths in the form of an anything-goes street brawl (in friendly jest, obviously), but being a fan of Inter Arma and especially admiring their new album this year, I figured I'd give their friends' new album a listen too, and holy shit! I might start backing off on the conversational swearing and shit (stuff), just because I didn't quite lose my composure so readily with other albums from this year that I definitely admire on a similar level as this one here, but for one last exclamation, gosh-dang-flippin'-butt-fucking wow is this a good album! Immediately upon my first listen, from the opening guitar leads and soaring clean vocal melodies of the introductory track, "We Will Not Die", I was reminded for the first time this year of my favorite album of last year (which I have since referred to as perfect in my eyes), Khemmis' Desolation. The classic heavy metal approach to the soulful, melodic, and beautifully harmonized guitar leads instantly brought me back to my number one album of 2018, and the generally more uptempo and less melancholic take on slightly sludgy doom metal as well reminded me even further, and in a good way.Spirit Adrift is certainly not biting Khemmis' style; I'd say Khemmis do a bit better to conjure a sense of victoriousness within their sorrow that makes their brand of semi-doom a little more emotionally well-rounded that what is on Divided by Darkness.

And this is not to say that Spirit Adrift don't drum up a strong emotive reaction; theirs is just a little more straightforward and less layered than Khemmis'. But I mean, listen to “We Will Not Die” and tell me that guitar work and clean vocal melodic structures are not Khemmis as fuck. To make one more comparison to an intra-genre contemporary of theirs, I'd say Spirit Adrift on this album reach for and achieve a rather similar feeling of emotional openness through uncharacteristically brightly melodic tendencies for doom to what Pallbearer did on their 2017 album, Heartless.

I already mentioned the infectious NWOBHM guitar harmonies and inspiring vocals on the opening track, but the thrill certainly do not end there; the title track applies the same melodic riffing and slightly gruff vocal melodies to a slower, crunchier classic doom composition, with a few spacier curveball sections and a soulful closing guitar solo to spice it up for good measure. And the subsequently more stern-faced battle march of "Born into Fire" offers a similarly dynamic blend of soaring vocal catharsis and pounding groove over a strong (and at times intimidating) chuggy andante doom riffage.

The band get a little extra emotive and noticeably Pallbearer-ish when they get to the somber "Angel and Abyss" though, whose burst into heart-wrenching guitar melodies from its soft, clean guitar intro reminds me so much of Pallbearer's "A Plea for Understanding". The soloing near the track's end definitely strikes me as being even more Maiden-influenced than the rest of the album's solos. For my tastes, such similarities as theses are definitely a positive attributes, and for me, the song is one of the highlights on the album. But there aren't really any duds anywhere on the album, which each song having its own distinct feel and spin on the band's sound on this album. I keep bringing up the guitars and vocals, but love how the highly emotive classic heavy metal melodies of both on the seething doom dirge of "Tortured by Time" elevate the track from what would otherwise be a very average downcast doom song. The increased pace and fantasy-laced energy of the subsequent "Hear Her" is great too, and I love the swagger that the groove-metal-esque guitar rhythms bring to the track that open the space up for the lead to solo more quickly and with a different type of expressiveness compared to the rest of the album’s songs. The slight alternative metal melodic stylings and clean guitar interlude sections of the following track, "Living Light", also combine to make quite an uplifting song for the concentration of doom elements present across it, which does a lot for the emotional dynamic of the album’s flow after the ups and downs of the moods of the three tracks that precede it.

The closing instrumental track, "The Way of Return", takes on a bit more of a fantastical feel across its woodsy mix of acoustic sections and shimmering synth-supplemented melodic guitar-led sections. It's a good offering of the guitar melodies that really help make the rest of the album, mixed in more freely with some novel flair that didn't show up previously; it does feel like it's not as conclusive of a finish to the album as a more dramatic, explosive epic could have been. I think this song might have fit a little more nicely in the middle as a breather, but it's not the worst sequencing choice ever, and it is still a good tune.

If there’s one thing to potentially to point to in terms of a weakness on this album, it’s perhaps the expending of most, if not all of, its novelty within the first half of the track list, but the slight dip in form the second half takes is hardly worth overstating as a major issue here as that half on its own is still indeed more solid than the majority of projects I’ve heard this year. If not for the four absolutely stellar tracks the last four had to follow, those last four would not have anything to contextualize them as any kind of fatigue or draining of creative ideas. Both halves together certainly make for one of the most expressive and emotionally enveloping albums of the year for sure through their dynamic compositions and abundance of soulful harmonized guitar leads and vocal melodies. Great job, Spirit Adrift. Time for me to check out and potentially get addicted to those first two albums too.

life doom/10

[grimelords]

I realised I finished writing up my January playlist and then forgot to post it, so I’m doing it here and now at the tail end of February. It’s 3 hours of good music, complete from A$AP Ferg to ZZ Top. Please enjoy.

​Dream House - Deafheaven: I started the year off with extreme mental anguish at the realisation that Sunbather is five years old this year and that I am thusly one million years old and have wasted my youth. That aside, Dream House is still an incredible song. It does what the best songs do and speaks directly to the teenaged part of your brain that thinks nobody will ever understand you like this song does right now. It is an overwhelming experience, the whole album is, and very good for having an embarrassing amount of emotions while you're driving alone and it's very loud.

Hold My Liquor - Kanye West: When this song came out I remember someone said the best musical moment of 2013 was when you couldn't tell the difference between Chief Keef and Justin Vernon on this song and I'm inclined to agree.

Melody 4 - Tera Melos: I've talked about this album at length in these playlists and probably featured almost every song at this point but I'll just say, what I like so much about this song is how it moves so effortlessly between a very melodic almost pop-punk type chorus before disintegrating into stop start mathematics and back again before you even notice.

B Boy (feat Big Sean & A$AP Ferg) - Meek Mill: I don't know how the fuck he did it, but somehow Meek Mill got a bunch of rappers who are normally nothing amazing (Meek included) to operate at the absolute top of their game for whole verse each. Highlights especially are 'I got commas on commas on commas, and I ain't talkin about a run on sentence!' 'put my P up on her head like that bitch is reppin Philly, and I wheelie in the pussy like my n**** meek milly' and the immediate about turn of A$Ap Ferg saying 'You thinkin' Khloe don't know me, I'm in the car dashin' haters/I'm in the Kardashian, get it? I'm lyin', can't I pretend?/They say fake it 'til you make it, well let the fakin' begin!'

Shabba REMIX - A$AP Ferg, Shabba Ranks, Busta Rhymes, Migos: This song's a good example of how many different flows you can get to work over one beat, and how much it improves the song. Ferg is so fast and so varied, then Migos even it out with straight triplets for most of their verse before Busta kills it by just doing absolutely everything. Great job everyone.

Attak (feat. Danny Brown) - Rustie: I normally can't stand Danny Brown but he kills this song. I still have a lot of feelings about Rustie, who showed so much promise for being the weirdo that dance music needed before presumably watching HudMo make a million producing for Kanye and friends and deciding to remove every interesting element from his music to make it palatable for rappers. That is, at least, my theory. This song is great, but every other song on this album is an example of this approach not working and instead producing boring, half assed songs where nobody's at their full potential.

Ultra Thizz - Rustie: Compare it to this, the busiest song in the world. The way the melody of the bassline that sounds like it's about to swallow you whole contends with the synth melody AND the pitched up vocal melody for your attention, they all come it at once and trade barbs before being superseded by a fuzzy, inscrutable guitar solo which fades out and leaves us back at the start. What I love about this song is the absolute maximalism and hypercolour sounds, combined with the only simple melody being the big chord stabs that centre the piece combine into a total sensory experience. Not to mention the rhythms, where absolutely every part of it seems to be slightly stranger than you expect, constantly dropping one beat before or after you expect - your first clue is the snare build at the start suddenly splitting into triplets.

If I Were A Carpenter - Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash: My girlfriend showed me this song and it unlocked a third of the triangle in my brain where this song, Wichita Lineman by Glen Campbell and The Engine Driver by The Decemberists make a sort of trinity of songs about having a job and thinking about Wife. They're all very very good too.

12 Bricks - OG Maco: Outside of the famous video, which is very good, this song is also incredible. Another in the pantheon of songs with extremely minimal instrumentation where the vocal performance is so good it doesn't need anything. The slight delay makes all the screaming and wooing toward the end just pile on top of each other in waves building the texture up until it finally levels out.

Requiem Para Um Amor - Toquinho: I really cannot get enough of the organ in this song. I don't think I've ever heard a classical guitar/electric organ duet before and now I'm hungry for more.

You Can Be A Robot, Too - Shintaro Sakamoto: This song appeared on my Discover Weekly playlist and I'm not really sure why but it's very good. I can't tell if it's actually a children's song or just playful like one but I appreciate it either way. When it started playing from the playlist the album cover was a cartoon of a kid surrounded by robots, but when I tried to add it to a playlist the art changed to a green picture of a skeleton playing a lap steel guitar with an explosion in the background, which felt very cursed to me.

Raver - Burial: This song has always stood out to me on Untrue because of how straightforward the beat is. Under anyone else's control this would be a normal song but instead it's this incredibly detailed, messy piece of work that feels like looking at a house song through a dirty window. I also have no proof at all to back this up but in my mind the xylophone line is sampled from Donkey Kong 64 or possibly Banjo Kazooie.

Cavalettas - The Mars Volta: I remember reading a bad review of this album when it came out that was mad because it pulled 'the most egregious studio trick in recent memory' by having the whole mix except for one guitar get sucked down into a wormhole multiple times, including the bass getting physically detuned until you can hear the strings slack before resuming as normal a second later. In my opinion it's incredibly funny and it sounds good so more bands should do it. Also the other day I saw the drummer Thomas Pridgen comment on Omar Rodriguez's instagram 'check ur dms bro'. Imagine being in a band with someone for a decade and not having their number, insane.

Flash Back - Rustie: Honestly I cannot get enough of this bassline. This song is another good example of what I was talking about with Rustie dumbing his melodies down after this album, the main line in this winds around and around itself in this loping confused rhythm and against the bass that's also syncopated it just ends up sounding like hypercolour, which is a feat for a song that's basically just those two melodies against each other for the bulk of it with some plastic choir stabs throughout.

Heaven - DJ Sammy: What an absolute perennial banger. Can you believe this AND Boys Of Summer were on the same album? Incredible stuff DJ Sammy. I've been meaning to make a playlist of all the 90s/2000s lame rave songs that are secretly very emotional and have definitely inspired absolute emotional turmoil in ravers the world over like this Better Off Alone and Heaven Is A Place On Earth, but for now just enjoy the Bryan Adams classic as reimagined by DJ Sammy.

Stalking To A Stranger (Planets Collide Remix) - The Avalanches: I owe this song a lot because it not only for me into Hunters And Collectors, who it turns out have far better and angrier songs than Holy Grail, but it also turned me onto Vertigo/Relight My Fire by Dan Hartman which is sampled at the start. When this song came out it was the first new Avalanches song in a decade or so and nobody knew what to make of it because suddenly Avalanches songs just have screaming men in them, which was very good.

Miracle - Kimbra: I think that very soon everyone is going to figure out that Kimbra has been the pop genius the world needs and she's been here all along.

Wayfaring Stranger (Burial Remix) - Jamie Woon: Jamie Woon got a raw deal in my opinion. He had a song remixed by Burial, and then Burial co-produced Night Air for him and he was the king of dark and mysterious British dubstep wave, but then James Blake and everyone else came along and sort of overshadowed him totally. Now that whole movement is sort of clouded because of how quickly 'dubstep' came to mean 'skrillex', and for some reason the only place this song is on Spotify is a compilation called The World's Heaviest Dubstep, Grime & Bass.

Chanbara - At The Drive-In: A lot of writing about At The Drive-In focuses on how they never really captured the ferocity of their live shows on record until Relationship Of Command but the absolutely big screams on this working against the salsa bongo rhythms is an amazing thing. I also kind of prefer the weedy half-clean guitar sounds on this and their first album especially to Relationship of Command's crunchier sound, it feels like it gives a lot more space to the weird noodling melodies that come and go.

All Medicated Geniuses - Pretty Girls Make Graves: The intro of this song absolutely blew my 15 year old math rock mind with how simply it transitions from the snare on the beat to the snare off the beat. It is endlessly fascinating to me because I am a dummy. Every part of this song is amazing to me, from the big swing band bassline behind the guitar that's sort of just screaming through the verses and absolutely on its own journey through the chorus to the drums for the reasons I already mentioned but also the way they keep everything straight and absolutely refuse to indulge the guitar's worst math impulses.

Dangerous - The xx: I really love the horns in this song, and the big air raid sirens toward the end. It is still shocking to me that The xx transitioning to making upbeat bangers worked out for them but I'm so glad that they did.

Running - Bully: I was listening to a podcast about water management policy and infrastructure called Water You Talking About because I am young and cool and for some reason they were using the chorus of this song where she goes 'I'LL ADMIT IT! I GET ANXIOUS TOO!' as their theme song in an episode which is I suppose appropriate but also really made me laugh.

Simultaneous Contrasts - Warehouse: The singer in this band has my new favourite voice, it's amazing. She sounds like she's eaten a belt sander or something. I love the way the guitar line follows her vocals up in the chorus and also just how extremely busy the whole band is around her. They remind me of some kind of alternate universe Life Without Buildings where she's pissed off instead of just beguiling.

Light Up The Night - The Protomen: There's no reason this band should be good. They wrote a rock opera based on the story of Megaman inspired by Queen and Bruce Springsteen and it actually turned out incredible somehow. Unfortunately since this album came out almost a decade ago all they've done is a couple of live albums and covers albums, so I may never get the resolution I crave on the story of Thomas Light and Joe and whoever.

Tonto - Battles: Here's what's so good about this song: it spends 2 and a half minutes winding up to a huge centrepiece that's over way too soon and then the next 4 minutes slowly slowly slowly winding down to absolute zero. It's like the opposite of how to write a good song but it's absolutely enthralling.

Wall Street - Battles: Around a minute into this, there's two snare hits where it sounds like it's part of a roll that got digitally muted that I am obsessed with. Every part of this song is incredible, but the drums throughout alternate between sounding like he's desperately trying to keep up and sounding like pure power and total command. I especially love the big brassy snare sound that comes up from underneath occasionally to pull the brakes. The performance of this song that Battles did for La Blogoteque is one of my favourite videos on youtube.

Every Single Line Means Something - Marnie Stern: For about a week this month I developed a quiet mania about John Stanier from Battles filling in on drums in the Late Night With Seth Myers Band (for some reason), and then I found out that Marnie Stern is apparently in that band as well and it really threw me for a loop. I don't really know why this was such an incredible thing or why I focused on it so much, maybe something I need to figure out, but it reminded me of this great song so that's a positive. This is some of my favourite work Zach Hill has ever done because he's being forced to play pretty much a normal backbeat for a lot of this song and it feels like he's been cursed by a witch. The amount of power he's putting out for such a straightforward idea is incredible. Of course because it's Zach Hill he's also doing the absolute most in every other part of the song. I haven't even mentioned how much I love Marnie on her own song! Anyway, listen to this whole album.

Hacker - Death Grips: I never got into the hype around Death Grips when they were the thing, and haven't really investigated their discography past this album, but this song is an absolute masterpiece and probably everything you ever need to know about them. Lyrically between this and 'I've Seen Footage' there's a pretty neat summation of their worldview, paranoid because your existence is inextricably linked to the internet and everything that entails, 'having conversations with your car alarm'. 'make your water break at the apple store,'

Pass The Word (Love's The Word) - The Mad Lads: I was looking up where the sample's from in Hilltop Hoods' Chase That Feeling and it turns out it's this song. Try to listen to this whole intro. He's trying to give a sermon but his dumbshit friends simply will not shut the fuck up for fully three whole minutes. Other than the intro the song is very, very good.

Monkey Time '69 - The Mad Lads: I also found this other song by the Mad Lads called 'Monkey Time '69', which to me is the definition of comedy.

She's Got Guns - The Go! Team: New Go Team album! Unfortunately nothing on it sort of lived up to the promise of the first two singles Mayday and Semicircle song, but this song is still a hit. The way this is mixed is so good, the brass behind the massive bass and spacious drums and the vocals sort of backgrounded within it all, very appealing.

Coast To Coast - Tune-Yards:It feels weird that a Tune-Yards song can be this smooth. A sort of apocalyptic, politics is ruined, new york is sinking, funky smooth jam.

Cattle And The Creeping Things - The Hold Steady: I've never listened to much of The Hold Steady outside of this album because I don't feel like I really need to, it's got everything I'd ever need. Sorry to always to talk about drums but the amount of reverb on them in this song makes them sound absolutely huge and I really love it, especially in the last verse they just become massive. Also I went through a long period of being obsessed with the lyrics of this song, it's a good distillation of this whole album's christian cult/drugs in middle america story and it is completely my shit.

Losing All Sense - Grizzly Bear: There's something about Painted Ruins that's impenetrable to me. I keep listening to it and only absorbing about one song at a time, totally loving that song and then ignoring the rest of the album. Now it's Losing All Sense.

Blue Cheese - Courtney Barnett and Kurt Vile: This song is like Kurt Vile in his purest form, just sort of strumming and talking about whatever the fuck. The best part of this song is when they go 'woo hoo!!!' then he whistles a little bit and then says 'here come the lone ranger!' in an elvis voice and plays a solo that sounds like he's tuning his guitar. Also right at the end you can hear someone's phone message tone going off.

Catch Me If You Can Theme - John Williams: John Williams didn't have to go as hard as he did with the Catch Me If You Can theme. I have this in my head all the time. I love the rapid shifts in this recording, because I guess it's functioning as the overture so he's just cycling through every different variation he's got in his aresenal.

I've Seen Footage - Death Grips: It's good that Death Grips' most popular song is about how the internet melts your brain There's a good quote from Zach Hill about where the title came from: 'The line “I’ve Seen Footage” was from a conversation I had with this street-person dude in Sacramento named Snake Eyes. A friend of ours recorded him on the porch in a conversation– he didn’t know he was being recorded. He was all fucked up on drugs and shit, just rattling off all this crazy information. He was talking about structures on the moon. I mean, I talk about those things, too. So we were talking about moon structures, and Snake Eyes says, “I’ve seen footage! I’ve seen footage of it!” And I was like, “That’s good!”

The Bucket - Kings Of Leon:It seems impossible that Kings Of Leon were a really good band at one point but here's the proof.

Standing Next To Me - The Last Shadow Puppets: I'm a truther for Muse ripping off Knights Of Cydonia from The Age Of The Understatement by The Last Shadow Puppets but that's a post for another time. This is a perfect song in my opinion. The absolute pace of it, the minimal drums that are just sort of accenting the strumming, the huge sweeping strings elevating the whole thing, the fact that it's over in just over two minutes. Incredible.

Jesus Just Left Chicago (live) - ZZ Top: Nobody believes me when I tell them but ZZ Top are very good. I have a fantasy about this song that ZZ Top were ringleaders of a sort of revival blues cult and this song is gospel to them. Jesus did really leave Chicago and he's heading towards California and we will be here waiting for him. You may not see him, but he sees you and he loves you. This and the La Grange recording are absolutely furious for live recordings, I love how much crowd noise there is in it throughout, they are truly fucking loving it.

La Grange (live) - ZZ Top: Especially here, my god they love it. La Grange is a good song because it's just a good riff and one verse of nonsense lyrics that are just an excuse to go the fuck off for the remainder. The huge drum fill and the 'have mercy everybody!!' is massive, the solos are ferocious, and somehow this song that feels like it could jam out for 15 minutes is reined in and tightly structured and has somewhat abrupt end.

Barracuda - Heart: Hey remember Guitar Hero? Cause I had ptsd flashbacks when this song came on during I, Tonya.

Bloodmeat - Protest The Hero: I don't know how exactly Protest The Hero pivoted from a concept album about a goddess(?) being executed(?) and bringing about a new genderless utopian age(?) to their second album opening with this very bicep emoji classic metal song about the mongol hordes slaughtering all who oppose them, but good for them I suppose.

Born On A Day The Sun Didn't Rise - Black Moth Super Rainbow: The drums in this song have no place being that huge. Black Moth Super Rainbow are good and I can't believe I hadn't listened to them in years until I woke up with this song in my head one morning, like an omen.

Been Drinkin' Water Out Of A Hollow Log - Mississippi Fred McDowell: Literalyl every Mississippi Fred McDowell song sounds exactly the same which is good because if it works why change it. In my understanding this song seems to be about a man dying of hunger and thirst on purpose to meet god, which is very good to me.

Listen here.

[davidastbury]

The Student

His room was always a mess but he couldn’t face the effort of tidying it. He could never find his study notes when they were needed but they clattered down on his head when searching for a jumper. His life was equally chaotic - missed appointments, registration fees, return of books, canceling of subscription and so on - and so on.

The weekends were different; they were lagoons of peace in the troubled ocean of his life. All the anxieties faded away - he didn’t have to respond to anything - the jumble of demands became a soft blur and when meeting his girlfriend at Victoria Station and when in her arms, breathing in the joy of her loveliness, he didn’t even know what day it was.

Only Connect

He: I wish I’d known.

She: Yes.

He: I wish someone had told me.

She: Yes.

He: I would have come. I would have helped.

She: No one could help.

He: I would have tried.

She: Yes.

He: Was it very bad?

She: I don’t know. I don’t remember.

He: You have no memory?

She: No.

He: You can ask me! I’ll tell you.

She: Okay.

He: You can ask.

She: Were you nice to me?

Russell’s Mother And The Piano

Occasionally, when Russell was out, but due home at any moment, his mother - his elegant, charming, distant mother - would come into the room and talk to me. Perhaps she thought that by getting to know her son’s friends she would get closer to her son - to better understand the way his mind worked. Or she would just talk to me, not expecting much in the way of reply.

I remember her saying that she was sorry that Russell had given up his piano lessons. She put her hand flat onto the polished top of the piano, as if consoling a dear friend. He was good on the brass, but to her the piano was supreme and she started to explain why.

‘There is no other instrument that can match the piano for range of dynamics and range of expression. A simple phrase by Chopin can be as rich and emotional as anything played on a violin. Listen to this chord - now listen to this one - and this one! I am playing the same chord, just giving extra percussion to a different finger each time. I can change the whole meaning by stressing a different finger! Or if I repeatedly play this same chord with the same pressure - like this - each chord is slightly different - I could play it a thousand times and each would be different.’

And I sat and listened. My head was full of a wider wisdom - I knew - at the age of thirteen - an even greater truth than this. That the arrangement of the furniture would never be repeated - that nothing would be repeated - she would never again stand that way in front of the piano - nor look or sound the same - nor have that dreamy amusement in her eyes - nor would the afternoon sunlight shine the same way on the glass-fronted cabinets - nor my slight hunger - nor the sinking excitement, the tingling, the banked-down exhilaration at the thought that Caroline was in the house - and might walk in at any moment.

Early Loss

Somewhere between John Dalton Street and King Street (South) he lost a glove. He was annoyed; it was an expensive pair from Kendal Milne (as it was then known). He rushed back, looking for the glove, hoping to see it in the snow; but it wasn’t there. It should have been easy to see - like a black kitten - waiting to be rescued. But he couldn’t find it; he doubled back to check a second time.

The loss of the glove bothered him - it stayed in his mind and he thought about it nearly every time he wore gloves - in fact he never had another pair of gloves that were as nice or comfortable or meant as much to him.

Tunisia ... December 2019

It’s very hot and if I fall, helpless and gasping, onto the sticky airport tarmac and my condition is beyond the scope of the local medical facilities, the presiding pathologist will note that my last food was a large bag of ‘Chips Up’ (‘Tasty And Crunchier’) manufactured by Groupe Souani inc. Tunisia.

Met up with ‘Madame’ today. She looked at me, stepped back, blinked a few times and said - ‘Goodness! You’ve put on weight’.

And so the day wore on.

Shorts ... #27

He hadn’t been kind to his mother; he hadn’t treated he as he should have done. He never allowed her to get close - rejected her kindnesses - discarded her gifts - didn’t thank her - never showed any gratitude. When they talked he never said the things he should have said, but often said a lot of things he should not have said.

All this was long ago and one way or another he has found ways to be at peace with it. Of course he never asked for her to be his slave - he never wanted her eagerness to do everything for him. And so, here he is today, feeling that same wordless irritation as his second wife over sweetens his tea.

Night Out

A group of friends - glad to see each other - glad to get drunk together. The men ruddy and randy; the women collapsing with laughter - their voices strident and confident; expressive and exhilaratingly filthy.

So much to be afraid of! So many uncertainties - but none tonight - simply the joy of being a forty-year-old child.

The school bag.

The hotel allocates a space where departing guests can leave items for which they have no further use. Four or five shelves brimming with things like deluxe swimming goggles, piles of books and magazines, inflatable alligators, straw hats, sun creams, flip flops etc. Anyone can take what they want.

I saw a girls school bag; lots of pockets, pink shoulder straps - a bit knocked about - ‘well used’ is the phrase. The interior was scuffed and marked by felt-tip pens, which the owner had not capped - and traces of stickers, unsuccessfully scratched away by her thumbnail. I held it upside down to shake out the sand and the flap swung open revealing a drawing on the underside - a childish image of a kitten in a bow tie, surrounded by bunches of marijuana leaves. I had to smile.

And then, under the picture of the unfeasibly cute kitten, she had neatly stencilled her name ... Lucie Wider.

I put it back on the shelf.

‘O Master of the Universe,

Bless the life of Lucie Wider!’

R.

We knew each other for a few short weeks - right up to the time she left out little town forever. London was the magnet and I understood her reasons for going - I didn’t question any of it - I let the day come round and carried her bags and cases to the station - and I watched the bus take her away.

That was a long time ago. I heard nothing from her in the first few weeks and months - and then the months became years - in fact, nearly sixty years. And now others will have filled her life and they will see her as she is - but for me it is entirely different - I hold a gleaming fragment - fixed forever at that moment; how she had panicked over a last-minute confusion with her ticket - how she was cheerful and tried not to look at me - how she was heartbreakingly soulful - how she tried to smile and how hard she tried not to cry.

Ian and Lorna...1966

‘Come round anytime’ - said Ian - so I did. It was a midweek afternoon and I cannot remember why I was free, but I was. The door wasn’t fastened and I pushed it back and went in. Silence. No sign of Ian - no sign of anyone. And then I saw the shoes - his and hers; Ian’s and Lorna’s.

I stood staring at them and thinking that in a medieval painting it would have meant that the two saints had gone to heaven. I then realised that they were upstairs in the bedroom, so in a way, they had gone to heaven.

A window was open and the curtains were flapping. There was a school nearby, and it must have been playtime; voices shrieking and screaming with happiness.

I left - pulling the door shut behind me.

The Room ... 1964

She kept the rent-book on a table near the door, so that the landlord didn’t have a need to come into the room. It was a large room with three south-facing windows and the green carpet had three bands of faded colour, bleached by the summer sunshine. The furniture obviously hadn’t been planned; a few items bought with economy in mind - a sofa with cat scratches, a cheap drop-leaf table, a wardrobe with a door that kept swinging open, a strong, ugly bed. The only expensive item was her Spanish guitar, propped in the corner furthest from the door, next to a pile of sheet music.

She was very tidy; he wasn’t - but she didn’t mind. When alone she put all his ‘stuff’ away and did what she could to make the room attractive; but it was always unpleasant - except for the nights when they were together - the nights when, in the gloom, she glowed like a silver goddess and their damp foreheads touched and he saw both her eyes melt together and become a single eye, like a beautiful cyclops and she and the room slid into a perfection where everything was sour, salty, brackish.

Natasha and her brother Nikolai in their droshky, returning home, late at night.

‘You know,’ she suddenly said, ‘I know I’ll never again be as happy and peaceful as I am now.’

‘That’s nonsense, silliness, rubbish,’ said Nikolai, and thought: ‘How lovely my Natasha is! I have no other friend like her and never will. Why is she getting married? We could keep driving around together!’

‘How lovely my Nikolai is!’ thought Natasha.

‘Ah! there’s still light in the drawing room,’ she said, pointing to the windows of the house, shining beautifully in the wet, velvet darkness of the night.

( Tolstoy: War And Peace ... vol.2 pt.7 )

[ouraidengray4]

How Long Can You Leave Food Out in the Sun?

Between backyard barbecues and neverending beach days, summer is the prime time for eating alfresco. Nothing beats digging into fresh fruit salad (or biting into a big ol’ burger) with your toes in the sand and the sun on your face. But remember: Your body isn’t the only thing soaking up those golden rays. If your food is left out for too long—especially in the summer heat—it starts to spoil.

Unfortunately, perishable foods hanging out in the great outdoors can become breeding grounds for bad bacteria like E.coli and Salmonella. And nothing turns a perfect beach day into a sh*tty one like a sudden case of food poisoning.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Before you swear off all picnics for the rest of time, there are a few things you should know. Follow these rules of summertime snacking and you'll be OK.

The Golden Two-Hour Rule

As you probably guessed, the exact amount of time you can leave food out of the fridge and in the great outdoors depends on the food in question—and of course, the temperature. But according to the FDA, you should always follow the basic two-hour rule: Don’t leave anything that you would typically refrigerate out for more than two hours at room temperature. If it’s a particularly hot day—anywhere near 90 degrees Fahrenheit—make that just one hour.

Most of the bacteria you don't want to be snacking on flourish in temperatures between 40 and 140 degrees, a thermal window (quite dramatically) dubbed “The Danger Zone.” If left to do its thing, a bacterial population can double in nearly 20 minutes. Not so appetizing.

So if you’re in doubt, avoid food that’s been sitting in the hot sun for an hour or more. (One great way to do this that doesn't require eating very very quickly is bringing a cooler!) Common sense comes into play here too—so if you notice a new scent or a slime, keep that funky food out of your body.

Don't Forget About the Hot Stuff

While we tend to remember that the two-hour rule applies to the food we want to keep cool, it's easy to forget that it's just as important to keep the hot stuff hot. According to dietitian-nutritionist Gina Hassick, MA, RD, cooked hot foods that aren't served right away should be kept at or above 140 degrees. She suggests using warming trays, slow cookers, and chafing dishes to keep your food (literally) safe and warm. Want to make sure your food isn't falling into "The Danger Zone?" Bring a food thermometer to keep temperature tabs on your dishes.

Hassick also notes that improper cooling of hot foods often leads to foodborne illness. "Even though the food has been safely cooked, bacteria can still be reintroduced if given the opportunity." For quicker, more even cooling, Hassick suggests using shallow containers, plastic wrap, aluminum foil, and plastic baggies when storing leftovers.

Meat, Poultry, and Fish

Unless you’re interested in inviting an angry mob of bacteria into your body, don’t leave any of these in the sun for more than an hour—or two if at room temperature. Meat, poultry, and fish are all definitely subject to the two-hour rule—and if we’re talking barbecues, be extra cautious.

Raw meat, including poultry and shellfish, is particularly prone to bacterial growth when left out in "The Danger Zone." Staph, E.Coli, and Campylobacter can multiply rapidly—a surefire way to get food poisoning ASAP. Keep that raw meat cool and out of the sun until it goes on the grill, wash all cutting boards and plates that touched it, and keep it away from other foods that won’t be cooked.

Cheese

According to a recent Wisconsin-based study, some cheeses can safely stay unrefrigerated (at temps 70 degrees or cooler) for about six hours. However, not all cheeses are created equal—it turns out that the rate at which a cheese will start to go bad has to do with its water content. While harder cheeses (like Parmesan, Gouda, and cheddar) can hang for multiple hours, high-moisture cheeses (like ricotta, queso blanco, and mascarpone) will spoil pretty quickly. (Yep, we're back to the two-hour rule.) So if you’re planning a day-long beach picnic? Get that cheddar... or eat your soft cheese with some hustle.

Fresh Produce

Since they're perishable goods, fruits and veggies should also be considered part of the two-hour—one in the sun—rule, according to the FDA. To keep them fresh for longer, don't cut into your fruit until you're ready to chow down. That means fruit salads might not be the best idea for a picnic on a sizzling day.

Fruit Juices

So you’re dying of thirst... but that carton of OJ has been sitting out for a few hours. Is it worth it? According to Tropicana, most of its refrigerated products shouldn’t sit out of the fridge for more than three hours. If you’re outside in the hot sun? More like one.

Wine

Unless you're making mulled wine, hot libations don't sound particularly appetizing. And according to VinePair, there's a reason to keep wine chilled for as long as possible. Heat and sunlight have been known to affect the tannins of wine, so if you've let a bottle sit out or in a roasting car for a day, it might start to become slightly acidic and tangy. Though there's not much research on exactly how long wine can sit in the heat, we'd highly recommend toting around your vino in a cooler.

Salads and Dressings

While leafy greens will wilt after an hour or two, crunchier veggies tend to last a little longer. If you’re looking for a salad that will keep throughout a day-long barbecue, try using crunchy vegetables—like cucumbers, broccoli, tomatoes, and onion—and top with a balsamic vinaigrette. While some dressings will spoil quickly when left out for too long, others with vinegar might hold up a bit better.

According to one study, vinegar and olive oil may have antimicrobial properties that protect against Salmonella and E.Coli. (But olive oil on its own tends to become rancid quickly at high temperatures—so consider tossing in some vinegar!) Again, that doesn’t mean leave your salad in direct sunlight all day long—just know that a dressing with a vinegar base might hold up better than a creamier variety.

The Takeaway

Though there's some science behind how foods fare when exposed to warm air, you don't have to be a microbiologist to stay safe. Use the basic two-hour rule, your gut (and nose!)—and when in doubt, throw it out. Don't want to be wasteful? Pack a cooler and plan to chow down before you fall asleep in the sun.

from Greatist RSS https://ift.tt/2Iw8MA6 How Long Can You Leave Food Out in the Sun? Greatist RSS from HEALTH BUZZ https://ift.tt/2lDpSTL