#just so we're clear

[talesandfluff]

average conversation with straight women

[matchingbatbites]

tw: dub-con

Eddie isn't really sure whose party he's at tonight, but he's kind of past the point where he cares. He’s already sold out of the stock he brought and has spent the last little while just drinking and people watching, and it's been nice just blending into the background for once.

Currently, he's going through the upstairs hallway, trying to find a bathroom that hasn't been trashed by party-goers so he can at least take a fucking leak before he heads out for the night.

He isn’t expecting the hand that appears from nowhere and yanks him through the closest doorway. There’s no time to react as he’s pulled into the room, and the blinds must be closed or something because it is dark in here, preventing him from seeing whoever it is that snatched him. 

Eddie finds himself pushed back against the door as it’s shut behind him, and he doesn’t get out a single word before that hand - big, with strong fingers, a guy? - grabs his jaw, and fuck, Eddie’s about to get the shit kicked out of him, isn’t he? He grabs the person’s wrist as he squeezes his eyes shut against the darkness, braces himself for a hit. 

He’s surprised when instead a mouth presses to his own, hard and wanting, and yep, this mystery person is definitely a guy. The stranger seems confident as he slots their lips together, as he pushes his free hand inside Eddie's jacket to settle on his waist. Eddie can smell his cologne, something clean but heady, and feels the slight scratch of stubble as he can’t help but kiss back, even as tense as he is. 

Part of him feels like he shouldn’t be okay with this, with some random stranger just using him like this. He probably wouldn’t be, if he wasn’t so - fuck, not desperate, but eager for just this. He’s well aware of how hard it is to find any kind of action as a gay man in Hawkins, so yeah. If some straight boy wants to conduct a little experiment in the dark, well, no harm done, really. 

He can’t expose Eddie without exposing himself as well. It’s that thought that lets Eddie finally relax into the kiss, and his stranger seems to take that as a sign to double down in his efforts to kiss Eddie completely stupid.

Teeth nip at Eddie’s lower lip before a tongue slides over it, soothing the bite, and Eddie opens his mouth with a soft groan. The other licks inside, bringing with it the taste of mint and beer, and the kiss turns wet and messy, exactly the way Eddie prefers. The hand moves from his jaw and pushes into his hair, and Eddie melts as blunt nails scratch at his scalp, tug at his curls. 

Time feels like syrup as he’s kissed within an inch of his life, he has no idea how long he’s held there while this mystery guy takes him apart with lips and teeth and tongue. He seems intent on ruining Eddie for kissing anyone else, and the worst part is the longer he goes, the more he succeeds. Eventually though, he seems to get his fill of Eddie’s mouth. 

The stranger gives him one last peck before he pulls Eddie away from the door and in a swift, smooth motion, turns him around, opens the door and pushes him back out into the hallway. The door closes behind him with a soft click, and Eddie feels so disoriented as he stands there, just blinking in the bright light for a moment. 

What the fuck just happened?

[citrusotakutea]

when snape is my what.

[theoneofmanyofficial]

Birthday Part 3

"I do not trust" is the theme of this one I guess?

(Long post with screenshots from birthday lines round 2)

Why, Riddle?! Why you gotta use that smile? I would have been fine with the regular adorable smile, but not this one! I feel like I need to hit the save button before proceeding with this conversation

If I give him head pats, will that spare my life?

Why does this also feel like trap? Because it's always that particular smile. Once again, it makes me feel like I gotta be careful and hit that save button

Have some head pats, just don't take my happiness, sir. I just got that tiny crumb back! 🥺

You mean like a party? 😃

I don't trust this, but I'm willing hear you out

Floyd. Floyd, listen. Love ya and would love to take up an offer of a tour of Coral Sea. You're my favorite wild card fishy eel boy and I like your laugh and I love your happy chibi sprite and all that jazz... but I don't trust like that!

I feel like this adventure will involve getting chased by an angry shark (comedic route) and I doubt I would survive that heart attack

Head pats for offering though...

Just... a little... hesitant... head pats...

Quite confident, are we?

I mean, I'm not about to challenge him about it... Because I would lose... And because he could win with only a pretty shell and that smile...

Head pats for Azul but I mean, look at that smile! How could I not give head pats?!

Dagnabbit, Azul! Only Ortho (and maybe, maybe Malleus) is allowed to say that out loud! You're supposed to say that part quietly, with the parentheses!

Gonna be taking my head pats back, mister XD

Tempting, very tempting. However, I prefer more of a "boys being sillies" kind of entertainment

No! No love! Just sillies! Please, I just want sillies! 🥺

Was worried for a sec there, but don't worry, folks! Silly boys are back on schedule!

[iholli]

someone asking your f/o how you two met and they just say something like "yeah I kind of found them in a dumpster one day and they've followed me around ever since" like one might say about adopting a cat

[foodsies4me]

Chairman when he find out the Clave was being mean to his fav SH

This prompt and a discussion I had with @just-add-butter are to blame for this (Apollo-universe) ficlet. Does it work in the timeline? Possibly not. Do I care? Absolutely not!

Three times Chairman Meow almost revealed he wasn't just a housecat and the one time he didn't even try to keep up the act.

One - Magnus POV

Magnus internally rolls his eyes when Blondie opens his mouth to - unsurprisingly - repeat what Biscuit just said, only reworded in a way that's somehow even more insulting than Clarissa's had been. Magnus is almost impressed by it. Or he would be if he could muster up any kind of goodwill for the man. Still, for someone lauded as the best of his time, Jace is painfully predictable. At least in his actions and words if not his fighting. Or, Magnus hopes his fighting style isn't as predictable as everything else about him is - if only to spare Alexander the pain of losing his parabatai to his own stupidity. A small chirp draws his attention away from Jace and Clary's impassioned diatribe detailing why he should help them with their latest mess and toward Chairman Meow. His daemon is sitting on one of the tall beams, his body mostly hidden in the shadows as he looks at him with his bright green eyes. His tail swishes in annoyance, his eyes gliding over to the two shadowhunters only for a decidedly unfeline-like smirk to appear on his lips. Chairman Meow begins his act with a single meow. A soft mewl that is barely audible over Biscuit and Blondie's voices. The sound quickly turns into a wail though, his voice going up and down in the same cadence as Blondie's agitated speaking. Magnus suppresses an amused smile when Chairman Meow pushes the act yet another step further. The wail turns into a sonata when Chairman Meow starts to move around the beams, the sounds echoing around the room and starting to drown out Jace's voice. When Clarissa tries to say something he switches to a higher pitch, something closer to Clarissa's voice and Magnus is forced to hide a laugh behind a cough. "What the fuck's up with that cat!" Blondie grouches after another few minutes of Chairman's caterwauling, lasting a full minute longer than Magnus expected him to. Hearing that same sentence echoed around the room in Chairman Meow's familiar mewling growl is nearly his undoing. Magnus forces the laugh down with an easy smile and a few hasty promises that promise nothing before he's leading Blondie and Biscuit along with their daemons back out of Pandemonium before they realize what's happening. "I don't remember sassy being a trait common to household cats," Magnus teases when Chairman Meow lands on the ground to twine around his legs. "But that was an Oscar-worthy rendition, my little mouse." Chairman Meow gives him another smug grin, the magic under his skin crackling like fire before it disappears again leaving the innocent-looking tabby cat, with the innocent-sounding voice. "Meow."

Two - Max POV

Max doesn't like Mister Panghorn. He doesn't like him from the moment Panghorn arrives, because that's when Panghorn decides to snuff Alec in front of everyone and act like he's better just because he's a Clave Envoy. Minty doesn't like him either. Not even Aloysius and Sunny like him and they like everyone. So it's clearly Mister Panghorn's fault that Max doesn't like him and Max should be allowed to pull a prank on him without getting Alec in trouble. Except Max can't because Mister Panghorn is here with the other Clave Envoys for an "internal audit" to "ensure" Alec is "fit for leadership". "Maybe they should check if they're fit to have runes," Tony had snorted under his breath and while he did get scolded for it by Thornhill, they all gave him a high five for it after practice. Max doesn't like Panghorn. And he certainly doesn't trust Panghorn; None of them do. It's why they all keep an eye on him, why Aloysius keeps "accidentally" bumping into his side because nobody expects Ally to do that on purpose. Why Rara and Steph have had more questions in the past three days that only Alec can answer than they usually have in a week. And why Max has been biting on his tongue and clenching his fists to stop himself from pulling a prank on Panghorn because he deserves to be pranked. Max didn't realize they weren't the only ones keeping an eye on Panghorn. But then he hears Chairman Meow let out a low threatening hiss, his eyes annoyed and angry while glaring straight at Panghorn. He's pacing in the shadows, observing and calculating before his eyes brighten in a way Max is very, very familiar with. Chairman Meow is planning something. Planning a prank. Minty makes an excited noise that Max quickly shushes so nobody notices what they just did. Because that's when Chairman Meow jumps out of the shadows, his eyes still laser-focused on Panghorn. He weaves through the others in the Operation's Room and jumps on the rafts. The rafts where Woodowl and Hardwood are walking with buckets full of ichor-stained water in their hands. Max sees Hardwood place one of the buckets on the passageway, just long enough to dig into his pocket to grab his ringing phone. Just long enough to swipe the bucket and have the entire bucket fall on Panghorn and Panghorn alone. Panghorn can be funny, it appears. Because Max knows he's not the only one who starts laughing when he begins to splutter. "This is an institute Envoy Panghorn," Alec tells him bluntly. "Ichor stains are part of the job." Chairman Meow is purring happily when he jumps back down from the rafters and Max uses the giggling and Panghorn's screaming as a disguise to get faster to him. "Say Chairman," Max asks when the cat bumps his head against his hand to demand scratches. "Are you really a cat?" "Meow?" Max squints his eyes. "I also use that trick you know. It doesn't work on me. But it's okay, I won't tell anyone you're not really a cat."

Three - Catarina POV

Catarina breathes out a frustrated sigh the moment she's behind closed doors. The new pediatric surgeon has been working on her last nerve since he started working at the hospital three months ago. And if he weren't moderately good at his job, she would have filed a complaint already. Plav tweets his agreement from his hiding spot, his blue feathers shimmering when he spreads them mid-dive to land on her shoulder. The rest of the staff had stopped asking about her daemon after a week or two - a month at most. They all accepted her excuses at face value: Her daemon is shy. Her daemon prefers to stay outside and fly around while she's at the hospital. The explanations had sufficed for all but Steven Andrews, who somehow felt owed an introduction to Plav. As much as Catarina loves her job, she wishes it wouldn't come with people like Andrews the way it always seems to. A tingle of magic alerts her to Magnus' arrival and after another quick look at Plav, who turns himself invisible this time around rather than hiding away, Catarina heads over to the dressing room to change out of her scrubs. Of course, Andrews has to be leaving right as she prepares to leave with Magnus. "Nurse Loss," a deceptively pleasant-sounding voice interrupts Magnus' retelling of his and Alec's date the night before. "Oh, I apologize I hadn't noticed you were with a...friend." Magnus notices the particular inflection Andrews uses on the word "friend" as clearly as she does. Catarina wonders whether it's the lack of a daemon by his side - as far as the man can tell, at least -, the being Asian, or the hot-pink streaks in his hair that match his corset-vest. Most likely, it's all three of them. "I don't want to take up too much of your time, Nurse Loss, but would I be able to speak with you privately?" The request would sound more like one if he didn't follow it up with an outstretched arm and a tilt of his head. "I apologize, Doctor Andrews," Catarina says with a tight-lipped smile, "I'm afraid we have a reservation to get to." "It will only be a few short min-ouch Get, that thing off of me!" The yelp draws the attention of the others around them, all turning to see Steven Andrews with a snarling Chairman Meow in his face who just happened to fall out of the tree right then. Catarina has seen that particular trick often enough to not be fooled by it. "Let me help," Magnus cuts in, acting the perfect knight in corseted-armor with the matching innocence of a blushing virgin. "The poor thing fell out of the tree, here - oh that looks like it might need stitches," Magnus tells him apologetically as he innocently lets the "unknown" cat go again. "Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Doctor Andrews. But we really must go now." Seeing the bewildered look on Andrews's scratched-up face shouldn't be as satisfying as it is. Chairman Meow rejoins them as soon as they turn around the corner. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of small-minded, mundane men by myself, you're aware?" Catarina asks him with a pointed look. Chairman gives her his best impression of a guileless, mundane cat when he replies. His head tilted in faked confusion and his eyes wide with feigned innocence. "Meow?"

Plus One - Alec POV

Alec is half-asleep when the front door of the loft swings open and Izzy, Jace, and Clary burst in. "Magnus we need-what the fuck is that?!" Alec opens a bleary eye, wondering what managed to make Jace hit that particular frequency since he hit puberty, only to notice Jace glaring right at Chairman Meow. Or well, Chairman Meow in his slightly larer form. "Is something the matter, Blondie?" Magnus asks as he peeks out of his apothecary. "Need a pair of glasses perhaps, given you can't seem to recognize Chairman Meow." "Uh, Magnus that's not Chairman Meow," Izzy cuts in. Her hand hovers uncertainly by her side, the handle of her whip already in her palm as she keeps a weary eye on Chairman Meow. "Is Alec under there?!" "Wait what- Magnus" "And that's enough out of you three," Magnus warns as the room goes blissfully silent. "Alexander is sleeping as you all can see, so if you don't want to risk angering Chairman Meow by waking your brother from his nap, I'd suggest you keep your noise to a minimum. Now, what did you need?" Alec hears the moment Magnus lifts the muting spell and leads all three of them to his office to discuss whatever it is his siblings need. He hears them murmur among themselves, the sound quickly fading under Chairman Meow's waves and warm fur. Alec softly dozes back into his half-asleep state, buoyed by Chairman's purrs and his warm weight that covers him from head to toe when the door to Magnus' office opens again. He hears a long, thunderous growl when two pairs of footsteps step a bit too close to the couch, a clear threat that is followed by the smell of smoke and fire as Chairman Meow breathes out in their direction. "I believe that's your signal to leave before you risk waking Alexander," Magnus tells them pleasantly, ignoring Jace's startled yelp as he not so subtly kicks them out again. "You know you don't have to protect me from my siblings, right?" Alexander mumbles into the Chairman's fur, unsure which of the two he's speaking to. He doesn't care to figure it out either because Chairman Meow is warm and Magnus' fingers find their way into his hair to brush out the tangles. The last thing he hears is a deceptively, innocent-sounding chirp that Chairman shouldn't be able to do given his size. "Meow."

[amid-fandoms]

just spent 70 bucks for a signed paperback copy of a book i ALREADY HAVE in hardback AND have read and i can't explain how much i hate having double copies of books or spending that much on paperbacks but. dan howell you have me in a chokehold

[b3hind-th3-sea]

Kevin Day’s unfortunate run in with a Kiss Cam

The use of a ‘kiss cam’ had become a recent trend in the world of Exy. Ever since Penn state started doing one during half time and a video of it had gone viral, other teams had copied the idea.

Kevin hadn’t thought much of it. He really hadn’t. That was until the Jackals vs Tornadoes game.

He went with Neil, they tried to go together whenever they had the opportunity. Because really there were very few people Kevin would want to go see an Exy game with. Certainly not with someone who didn’t have a comparable technical understanding of the game.

So Neil it was.

Everyone in the Exy world knew who Kevin Day was, but especially now that he’d gone pro. Eyes had been on Neil ever since the interview with Kathy.

This led both of them to be recognized more than the average player. And while in everyday life they may only get the occasional excited fan asking for an autograph or picture, when it came to Exy specific events, showing up was basically like asking to be mobbed.

So they wore disguises. 

Neil with his hair pushed back, hidden by a sweatband and hat.

For Kevin, a baseball cap and sunglasses large enough to hide his tattoo.

And even though the disguises might have worked in a crowd of tens of thousands, it most definitely did not on a giant, blown up screen.

Kevin hadn’t even realized what was going on until Neil nudged his shoulder, pulling his attention away from his phone. He had looked at Neil in confusion, then glanced around them only to see people staring back and smiling at him. Then he looked up to meet his own eyes on the big screen.

People had obviously recognize them and the crowd began chanting “kiss” “kiss” “kiss”.

Kevin didn’t plan on doing anything about it.

The camera would get bored and move on to some other unfortunate people.

And it did. He thought he even heard some people sigh in disappointment. Kevin sighed in relief.

Except it came back. Multiple times. And then locked in on them, not budging.

Kevin wondered who he would have to talk to to get whatever cameraman or announcer or whoever ran this stupid ‘kiss cam’ fired.

The volume of the crowd kept rising.

And he realized at that point it was weirder not to do anything.

So Kevin turned, planning to give Neil the quickest and least homosexual possible kiss on the cheek.

But what he did not anticipate was Neil turning to look at him at the same time—probably in reaction to Kevin’s sudden movement—which in some horrible twist of events put his mouth right where his cheek used to be.

Kevin did not get the chance to flash his ‘just bros being bros’ grin, because his mouth was awkwardly pressed against the side of Neil’s, before they both immediately lurched away.

The crowd went insane. 

By the time he had recovered from surprise and thought to play it off as a joke, the camera that had been persistently focused on them was shut off. The second half was starting.

The first thing Kevin realized was that multiple people definitely got that on video and out of those people at least one of them would post it to social media.

His second realization was, Oh god Andrew’s going to kill me.

[yakourinka]

Rinka's blorbos REACT to y/n being PREGNANT:

Chongyue: abortion

Mylnar: abortion

Aak: abort that thang

Oberon: abortion

Merlin: My darling y/n, I stand by whatever decision you make. I would never pressure you one way or another. But have you considered abortion?

if you come to my inbox again i will shoot you. i will shoot you.

[twashchan]

when ur girl texts "what do u think of this outfit" and she sends a nude and then heart emojis its PROBABLY flirting

[a-s-fischer]

I feel like it's important to say that I am far from an expert on politics in South Asia generally or India in particular. I can recognize fascist ideology, and I can recognize when nationalists and supremacists are trying to lure in allies who might not recognize them for what they are, but I can't speak with any level of precision on Indian domestic politics, beyond general observations, such as, "huh, this popular party is worryingly right wing, and targeting minority groups." I don't pretend to be an expert, and have done my best keep my commentary to things that are in my wheelhouse, such as English language Hindutva Tumblr bloggers pretending to be mainstream Hindu activists, and their current outreach to Jews as potential allies.

[resaresa]

What's some of your fav Adventure Time episodes??

I really like the episode where Marceline and Lumpy Space Princess throw breakfast princess into the trunk of her car after running over her with said car and then leave her in the desert to die

princess day

[shitpostingkats]

What people think I mean when I say "the Wheel of Time polycule": Rand al'Thor and his three girlfriends.

What I actually mean: Rand al'Thor and his girlfriends and his boyfriend and his girlfriends' girlfriends and his boyfriends' boyfriends' girlfriend. Friendly exes and platonic bonds and casual partners and the shrimp colors of relationships. The most complicated web woven around a single load bearing dumb bisexual of a chosen one. An amino acid. A polycule that stretches from the Spine of the World to the Aryth Ocean.

[polyamorousmood]

polyamory can be an identity or a decision

[pansexual-pied-piper]

Happy birthday, lesbians!

[kaurwreck]

If I could tell irl Osamu Dazai anything, I would call him Shūji-chan like he was a silly baby toddler person and then I would tell him that Japan and America's youth want to fuck him so badly it makes them look stupid.