Tumgik
#just the whole abstract-ness of it is fun to write
xoteajays · 11 months
Note
Giiirl, don't. I'll start crying again. My baby. I just block out what he did to Usagi. I mean: that face. He's just a little cinnamon bun that needs to be protected. 😭
There was just so much potential there, but instead so much time was wasted on Arisu. I'm sorry, I just don't like him, with his fucking hero complex. 😩
It also stresses me out so much not knowing what happens after the end. Is Niragi friends with the others now??? I hope so because he deserves to be loved and have friends. Imagine if Karube had survived, if the two had met, if Karube had made him allow closeness. They would fight all the time, but we know they actually love each other. My poor heart. 💖
i definitely feel like there could’ve been more done with arisu. he felt a little ‘one-dimensional’, for lack of better terminology. i didn’t necessarily hate him (i don’t really ‘hate’ any character in aib actually), but he was a lil boring to me; i was way more invested in the side characters.
i wish there would be a season 3 because i miss new content of the characters, but i know there likely won’t be. i want more details! what happened next? give me an epilogue episode!
also i started writing your request because i had Ideas™ and i just. 450 words of just niragi’s bullying-trauma nightmares. i love. Angst.
0 notes
wangisking · 3 years
Text
𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘  𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆  𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑  𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐘
Tumblr media
BASICS. FULL    NAME  :  Augustus Alexander Wang  NICKNAME  :  August and Gus ( in general ), Auggie, Ice Prince, and Guggie ( by Aurora ). Aug and Lestat  ( by Jack ),  NAME    MEANINGS  : Augustus is  Latin for  the great / the magnificent.  Alexander is also Latin and means defender of mankind. From what I know, Wang in Chinese means king.  HISTORICAL    CONNECTION ?  : Though, his dad did think of the Roman Emperor Augustus when they named him, they liked the meaning. It seemed to fit him. They weren’t wrong, he was an emperor and he still has that energy.   AGE  :  22. Like Aurora, he can’t age past 22. He wouldn’t have minded either way.    BIRTHDAY  :  5th  April ETHNIC    GROUP  :   Augustus is half Korean and half Brazilian.  NATIONALITY  :   British LANGUAGES  :   fluent  in  English and French. Conversational Latin. Broken Korean. Learning Urdu. SEXUAL    ORIENTATION  :  demi-heterosexual ROMANTIC    ORIENTATION  :  demi-heterosexual RELATIONSHIP    STATUS  :   Single and doesn’t want to mingle. He had only one serious relationship in the past with Aurora Shams from 2017-2019.  CLASS  :  Upper  class,  Wealthy but not private-jet kind of wealthy.  HOME    TOWN  /  AREA  :  London till he was 10 and Vancouver till he was 17 CURRENT    HOME  :  Los  Angeles PROFESSION  :   Drummer, songwriter, model, and student.    PHYSICAL. HAIR  :  long  and  wavy.  Chestnut brown. Here is an example. It goes down his earlobes in length.    EYES  :  piercing, almond-shaped eyes. Naturally brown, but he wears blue or green contact lenses.  NOSE  :   a Greek nose, straight without bumps. FACE  :  Oblong shaped, sharp and chiseled cheekbones, strong jaw. Masculine features. Example.  LIPS  :  not  full  nor  thin, heart shaped.     COMPLEXION  :  pretty pale. Example is same as the face section.  SCARS  :  one on his chest. TATTOOS  :  a very small ‘10/17′ on his left rib.   PIERCINGS:  earlobes HEIGHT  :  6′5″  or  195cm.   BUILD  :  Inverted triangle. Broad, tapered shoulders. Muscular. Defined, sculpted abs. Long limbs. Broad chest. He was naturally towards the muscular side with broad shoulders and chest. He’s never been on the skinny side. Example one and two   USUAL  HAIR  STYLE  :  he lets his hair do their thing, he styles them a little, but he prefers a messier vibe.  USUAL  FACE  LOOK  :  He looks generally bored. His eyes have a piercing look that seem to be drilling into the person before him. Like he can see right through you. There is an insolent smirk tugging at his lips like he thinks you’re amusing. Almost proud, like he thinks he is above you. There is depth and intensity in his eyes that stare skywards in thought. There is also mischievous, radiant glimmer in his eyes.   USUAL    CLOTHING  :  prince charming meets rockstar. Lots of jackets, darker colors, boots, necklaces and rings. Here is his wardrobe.      PSYCHOLOGY. FEARS  :  claustrophobia and the fear of ending up alone. He always had this creeping feeling that he’d be alone in the end and that he was always meant to be alone.  ASPIRATIONS  :   he doesn’t have any set aspirations. They change every now and then. However, his goals are just to keep his found family happy.  POSITIVE    TRAITS  :  extremely charismatic, intelligent,  academic and studious, alluring and attractive, quick-witted, charming and captivating, articulate and eloquent, adventurous, desirable, analytical, brilliant, friendly, enthusiastic, adaptable, observant, kind, mellow, competent, extremely caring and protective over those closest to him, clever, loyal, clear-headed, confident, humorous, courageous, imaginative and creative, a visionary, refined tastes and manners, daring, dignified, ebullient, deep, remarkable, surprisingly he’s very forgiving, forthright, gallant, logical, gentlemanly and sophisticated, perfectionist, popular, self-reliant, shrewd, witty, suave, curious, and resourceful.    NEGATIVE    TRAITS  :  egocentric, self-obsessed, idle, indifferent, selfish, defiant, arrogant, argumentative, rebellious, kinda lazy, stubborn, distracted, doesn’t really care for morals, blunt, can appear insensitive a lot, is insensitive at times, no filters, can be cold for those he doesn’t care for, emotionally immature, deflects emotions, suppresses his feelings, sorta detached, kinda pessimistic, and unknowingly self-sacrificing because he thinks it’s fair and he deserves it.   MBTI  :  ENTP  (  Ne  dominant,  Ti  auxiliary,  Fe  tertiary,  and  Si  inferior  —  this  means  she  can’t  use  Ni,  Se,  Te,  and  especially  can’t  use  Fi). He  perceives  the  world  by  connecting  dots,  thinking  of  never-ending  possibilities,  looking  for  pieces  of  a  puzzle,  and  finding  meaning  in  abstract.  He  makes  judgments  on  if  what  he  perceives  fits  his  internal  logic.          ZODIAC  :  Aries sun, Gemini rising, Sagittarius moon.  TEMPERAMENT  :  sanguine choleric  ANIMALS  :  parrots and cats because they’re both intelligent but little pieces of shit who enjoy making your life hell.  VICE  :   it’s either his ego or how he ends up detaching himself FAITH  :  currently, he’s Mu.slim. He was born protestant, became an atheist when he was 13, agnostic at 14. Bud.dhist at 15. Taoist at 16. Confucianist at 17. Mu.slim at 19. Doesn't practice it though.     GHOSTS  ?  :  yep.. AFTERLIFE  ?  :   yep REINCARNATION  ?  :  he guesses so. Went  through  it, but doesn’t remember. ALIENS  ?  :  hell yeah. POLITICAL    ALIGNMENT  :  liberal. ECONOMIC    PREFERENCE  :   upper class or upper middle class is good with him.  EDUCATION    LEVEL  :   MSci in Physics from the University of Cambridge. Is opting to specialize in astrophysics soon. FAMILY. FATHER  :  Edward Wang, owner of a chain of fine dining restaurants  MOTHER  :  Elisa Violeta Wang, psychiatrist, deceased  STEP MOTHER :  Chaeyoung Wang, lawyer.  SIBLINGS  :  Cassandra Wang, athlete EXTENDED    FAMILY  :  he is not close with his external family and doesn’t know his birth mother’s family at all. They never wanted him.  FAVOURITES. BOOK  :   Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Galactic Dynamics by James Binney, Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Mukarami, Slaughter house Five by Kurt Vonnegut, War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, and Lord of the Flies by William Golding. MOVIE  :  Scott Pilgrim vs The World 5    SONGS :  All You Want - Dashboard Prophets, Tokyo Smoke - Cage the Elephant, Where is My Mind? - The Pixies, Sparks - Coldplay, Lithium - Nirvana, and Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra     DEITY  :  none.  Let him argue with one and ask for proof of their deity-ness. HOLIDAY  :  Halloween. It’s dramatic and fun. MONTH  :   October, because he met Aurora and Jack this month in 2017. SEASON  :  spring  and  summer. PLACE  :  he doesn’t have a specific place, but he prefers European architecture.  WEATHER  :  cloudy and windy. Sunny if it isn’t too hot. SOUND  :  drums and percussions, the sound of aurora and jack’s laugh, guitars, violins, the sound of wind roaring, music boxes, and the clinking of bangles and jewelry.  SCENTS  :  sage, rosemary, and damascus roses. TASTES  :  chocolate, strawberries, chilies, and fried food.       FEELS  :   the feeling of hitting the drums, wind in his hair, the cold night air, warm morning sun, grass against his fingertips, silk, and touching long hair.   ANIMALS  :  cats and dogs. NUMBER  :   8 COLORS  :  white, cherry red, pink, maroon, wine red, black, and silver. EXTRA. TALENTS  :  he is an extremely talented drummer, good at guitar and the piano, he is talented at songwriting, composing music, he’s exceptionally good at mathematics and physics, analytical skills, storytelling, knows a lot of facts, near photographic memory because he remembers all important historical events with dates and details, academic writing, and brainstorming ideas.  BAD  AT  :   cooking, not very good at driving because he gets distracted, doing one task at a time, playing videogames, actually listening to what people say, being humble, and actually being a good leader.  TURN    ONS  :  this is a complicated question. He needs a very strong emotional connection to feel sexual attraction towards someone. And he only felt it for one person in his whole life. But, what sparked that attraction was a brilliant mind and the ability to connect with his mind on a very different level. It’s not going to repeat with anyone else.  TURN    OFFS  :  literally everyone else. He’s not sorry, but I am. HOBBIES  :  playing the drums, writing and composing songs, reading, solving problems, listening to music, watching shows, getting people to do weird shit, and annoying people.      AESTHETIC  :  crowns, drums, broken drumming sticks, abstract art, the vast space, chess boards, album cases, thrones, the echoing sound of pianos, Greek sculptures, galaxies and nebulas, early morning sunrise through curtains, libraries, equations scribbled on napkins, empty museums, unmade white sheets, polaroid cameras, conspiracy theories, VHS tapes, antique books, cobblestone alleyways, night skies, cluttered books, calloused fingers, crumpled composition pages, guitar picks, vinyl, telescopes, and planets.      Basically: abstract, chaotic academia, cryptid academia, dark academia, indie, kingcore, light academia, musical academia, science academia, spacecore,   QUOTES  :   it’s weird but i can’t decide which one fits him.  FC  INFO. MAIN    FC  :  victor han  ALT    FC  :  n/a. OLDER    FC  :  he can’t age past 22, so he doesn’t need one. YOUNGER    FC  :  none  yet. VOICE    CLAIM  :  both speaking and singing (his accent is posh British with a slight hint of Canadian) MUN  QUESTIONS. Q1  :    If you could write your character your way in their own movie , what    would  it  be  called ,  what  style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about ?    A1 :  The same answer as Aurora, The Tale of Solis et Lunae that stars him alongside Aurora, Lunae, Jack, and Tate, plus more. A cosmic adventure / fantasy / coming of age / superhero / the reluctant hero / the chosen one.  His role is of Aurora’s best friend and her greatest support in emotional and supernatural dangers. He is the time traveler who ascends time and space, so he often also gives her insight and information like the sage. It’ll  expand across dimensions, worlds, and different states of existence. The scenes would be cinematic with a strong soundtrack. I imagine him to have some scenes like Quick Silver in the X-Men movies.       Q2  :   What would their soundtrack / score sound like  ?     A2  :   He would have a 90s grunge or spacey dream rock sound. It ties in with the end of the last answer because i see him in one of those scenes with 90s grunge or maybe classical music ?    Q3  :      Why did you start writing this character  ? A3  :    I made Augustus just a bit before Aurora. They were a two part deal. I don’t know when it began, I just had this image of a tall, long haired boy with piercing, intelligent eyes who’s a smart-ass and likes being a know-it-all nuisance. This character has been the same since he began in 2019 and refused to change. He was always a drummer, he always had the same fashion sense, the look, Gus was always half-Korean, he always had long fingers he wore rings on, and he was always Aurora’s best friend/partner in crime. He remains unchanged and that's why I wanted to write him. This very vivid image of this boy was something I had to pen down. And just my luck, I found a fc who looks exactly how Gus looked in my head.   Q4  :    What  first  attracted  you  to  this  character  ? A4  :   Augustus is just extraordinary. It’s something I always felt about him and Aurora and I don’t see any of my other characters coming anywhere close to them regardless of how much I spent time on them. But with Augustus, his entire image and looks and personality — down to his wardrobe and jewelry was always so vivid in my head. Like I knew this very chaotically handsome boy who was going to turn the world upside down.  His story is interesting, but what interests me more is his perspective on his story. The way he looks at his life and how he is quiet and doesn’t show his pain. How confused he always is. How much he aches but never seems so. The way he loves but doesn’t say even a quarter of the intensity he feels. And how sometimes he believes he deserves suffering because it makes sense to him. I also love the connections he makes and the way he loves so deeply and profoundly but underneath the surface. His connection, love, fears, and hopes with Aurora and Jack for their respective reasons are extremely beautiful.   Q5  :      Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.  ? A5  :  Augustus is unknowingly self-sabotaging. He let go the only relationship / love in his life that made him feel like real love just because he thought he didn’t deserve it. And because when he was provoked, it made “sense” to him. He bottles his emotions and pain so much despite their intensity. He never shows how much he really cares and really hurts. And how sure he is that he’ll end up alone without friends and that it makes sense to him. Q6  :      What    do    you    have    in    common    with    your    muse  ?   A6  :    Here’s a fun answer, because I bottle my emotions like him. I also interact with the carefree way he does even if I don’t feel peachy. He’s smart and witty and really hot and I don’t even have that going on for me. So, yikes. Only of Gus’ bad things I share.  Q7  :      How  does your muse feel about you  ?   A7  :  Gus loves interacting with people so he’ll definitely show up to annoy me. Maybe, he might think I’m fun to annoy? Or maybe, we’ll have a similar sense of humor. I think he won’t dislike me. Not sure if he’ll like me. I think he’d think I’m funny in a strange sort of way.  Q8  :      What    characters    does    your    muse    have    interesting    interactions  with  ? A8  :    Aurora, first of all. They have this same brain wave-length thing going on where they’re partners in crime and bffs forever more. He knows how she is feeling and what she’s thinking even before she utters it. If she is about to sneeze, he’d get a tissue ready. He can tell if she is hungry or sleepy with one glance. She can do the same, so they sorta have this weird understanding of each other.  Jack is this older brother figure Augustus loves. He won’t admit it, but he kinda wants to make Jack proud of him. He also wants to provide love and care to Jack that he thinks he deserves but never got. They’re his family now and he’ll never be alone or sad again. He annoys Jack a lot but behind it all, he just wants Jack to think he is needed and he belongs. That if he thinks Augustus is reliant on him, then he has this family he has to protect and care for. He can’t stand the thought of Jack feeling unloved, forgotten, alone.  Tida is another one. There’s this great respect and adoration Gus has for him. Almost like he looks up to him in some ways  He also has a lot of hopes and expectations attached. He feels Tida is everything that Gus himself lacks. He is the ideal boyfriend, kindest person, shows his emotions vividly, and is like a warm and cozy blanket personified. He is probably Tida and Aurora’s biggest supporter and first one to know. He can’t be happier than he is that Aurora found someone as good and perfect as Tida.   Taewon is one really fun character. Their two-way frenemy jealousy spans over years and started in Cambridge when they were both in love with the same girl they claimed to be best friends with. Though, trying to be calm, Augustus was constantly provoked and hurt, made to feel inferior and constantly in fear of his relationship being broken by Taewon’s schemes that he couldn’t say out loud. This dark period ended with a fist fight and baggage of guilt they both carry to this day for hurting each other and the one they claimed to love. Today, they’re way past that and frenemies who have funny quips and arguments for each other. They say they dislike each other. But if the lighting is good, one would be the photographer of the other. Q9  :      What    gives    you    inspiration    to    write    your    muse  ? A9  :  Music  helps  me  imagine  scenes  with  perfect  visual  details.  Any  scenes  from  shows  that  remind  me  of  my  storylines. Q10  :      How    long    did    this    take    you    to    complete  ?   A10  :  I don’t remember. It was many days and I didn’t count because it was in bits and pieces.
7 notes · View notes
kinosternon · 3 years
Text
State of the turtle
Hey!
So it may go without saying, but I haven't been around very much since November/December. There's a few reasons for this, the major practical ones being that I'm doing grad school and also moved and, y'know, the world existing as it is at the moment. But a big part of it was also that I got really burnt out and have been struggling to figure out how to go about fixing that.
Details below (nothing too intense, but some mental health talk comes up). TL;DR, I'm quiet but still around <3
The experience of writing CSCG was fantastic, but it was A Lot. I was staying up late a few nights a week, almost every week, just finishing chapters—on top of work, school, another side project or two, and general life stuff. I can't say I fully regret doing things the way that I did them, because without weekly deadlines it probably would've taken me years to finish, if I managed it at all. It was a whole huge rush, and that left it sloppy in places, but it also added a lot of energy to the process. I think it had a good effect on the story's tone as well, in a way that would've been hard to maintain otherwise. (If anyone here followed me because of my Undertale longfic, that's what happened there. I have not given up on it yet, but I'm not quite ready to get back to it yet, either.)
I just made sure I posted Every Week No Matter What, because I was scared of stopping if I slowed down, and because there didn't seem to be any real consequences to pushing myself that way, and because I figured that stretching yourself to the limit is how you grow.*
But when CSCG ended, I hit upon a few problems all at once. I'd pushed myself to the very edge on writing, right before throwing myself into another huge writing event, NaNoWriMo. I'd been doing it for so long that I didn't really want to skip it, and stopping cold turkey after writing (what ended up being) 6k-10k a week, almost every week, would've probably messed with me too, like an athlete who just suddenly stops training altogether. I had fun, even if most of the words I produced were pretty much unusable.
I'd also pushed...honestly well beyond anything I thought I was ready to accomplish in my writing by actually posting and finishing a longform story. At the outset, I hadn't expected anything but relief and/or pride at the end. That...wasn't what happened. There was definitely relief, and a whole ton of gratitude, and some pride in the abstract, but mostly I just felt exhausted. And annoyed with myself for not feeling happier about it, because the joy about reviews was part of what helped keep me going through writing, and yet something about finishing the story cut off a lot of my positive feelings related to that.
It also hurt a bit because I'd thought of myself (in part) as a person who was unsatisfied with myself because I couldn't finish stories. When it turned out I could, it meant that the uncomfortable feelings that came along about my writing couldn't be blamed on the fact that I'd left something unfinished.
But I think the worst part of finishing the story was how hard those final chapters were—not because of plot considerations (though tying off loose ends was definitely a challenge at times!), but because of how hard the emotional notes were to hit. I spent a year—a really rough year, that I'd known going into it would be rough but that quickly got more worse than I could've imagined at the outset—writing an angsty story about exhaustion, breakdown, and recovery. And then, when I hit the happy ending, I was still far away from any happy ending to the challenges I'd been facing in my own life, and I realized it was hard to write the characters being happy.
I felt terrible about that. I still do, to be honest. These were characters who spoke to my soul, who I fond points of resonance in closer than just about any other form of media that I'd ever experienced. And yet, after literal hundreds of thousands of words explaining their dynamic and finding ways to repair it, I could barely find it in me to write their happy ending. I could barely believe in it long enough to write it, much less imagine what might come after.
I know that plot comes from characters facing challenges, which usually involves a certain amount of distress, but not being able to find the emotion of peace of happiness for them still really distressed me. And I hit the end of the story while still feeling that guilt, and still feeling the pressure to find more within me, to write happy sequels to keep balancing out the trouble I'd put the characters through. And I hadn't even begun to account for the grief that comes up when a story ends, which a post I saw today describes very well.
Basically, I hit some huge walls in the writing process, and blasted through them through sheer force of will. I'd been living that way in general for a year or two even before the pandemic hit, weathering every setback that came my way. The commitments I'd made only slowed down a little when lockdowns started, and some of their consequencess all came together in some nasty combinations a few different times over the ensuing months, which led to me finding out what starts to happen after I push past enough limits, which is: Not Very Good things, mainly of the depression variety.
And so I've spent the last few months (from mid-November on, really) trying to figure out how to deal with said Not-Very-Good-ness. I've persevered through a combination of stubbornness, inertia, and just sheer ignorance of other options, but putting things up on the Internet is one of the hardest things for me to do confidence-wise, so that was one of the first things to go. I'm making progress, but I'm still as intimidated by the idea of putting myself out there as ever.
I've made some changes to my living situation, and gotten therapy and medication, and all of those things have helped a lot. Unfortunately, because of my studies, writing can't be a top priority for me this year, and it probably won't be next year, either. I haven't even had it in me to write many rough drafts lately, which I'm trying to think of a fallow period rather than letting it discourage me too badly. Still, I'd like to find ways to talk with people online more. You're very nice and I'm very happy to get to meet you!
As I figure things out, there will probably be times I'll just vanish for a month or two (or several or more, honestly). But I'm still around; I just withdraw into my shell to rest every once in a while.
* What these past few years have taught me is: yes, pushing yourself can be great for you in small doses! But it's important to do it while valuing your safety, treating yourself and your efforts as kindly as possible, and prioritizing getting plenty of rest afterward. I do okay at parts of that, but I still have (ironically) a lot of work to do on the rest.
1 note · View note
guiltycorp · 5 years
Text
Seriously though, the epilogue is pretty interesting plot-wise, anyone can appreciate how the meat and the candy routes influenced each other. Time shenanigans have always been homestuck’s strong suit!
But also it was so thoroughly unpleasant? Sure, the ooc-ness of characters has textual explanation, either the meta narrative influence or Dirk/Calliope bullshit or the time skip. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? It’s the very same thing that bothered us about the retcon, when the versions of the kids we knew suddenly became someone else. And a lot of us didn’t mind back then because at least the kids were still likable. Not this time though.
This time we got John, who has zero control over his own fate and zero fulfilling relationships, either romantic or platonic. Even his banter with Terezi almost always felt one-sided (and entirely reminiscent of all the dudes from Tinder who felt like we were soulmates because they told me about their depression and then complimented my personality so maybe that’s just my personal thing lol). Dirk and Jane got reduced to their worst qualities which they already faced and resolved to conquer (Jane through Condesce’s mind control, Dirk with his AR, his failed relationship with Jake, his talk with Dave about Bro), but apparently that’s not enough, gotta have villains after all! It would have been much more interesting if they at least weren’t such caricatures of themselves, but nah, clownish villainry is where it’s at. We also got Rose, the exposition master and a helpless damsel in distress in the Meat route, and a blank happy wife in the Candy route, same as Roxy actually (who at least had her/their/his gender exploration in the Meat route I guess, but in a pretty abstract way where you could essentialy assign their dialogue to anyone). Then there’s Dave and Karkat who are extremely toned down versions of themselves with a not so open and honest communication, too indecisive to say outright what they want or don’t want from each other and from Jade. Knowing their original personalities makes all this relationship drama frustrating instead of exciting! Jake and Jade were actually pretty believable aside from moments of narrative-control, but again the interactions are just not fun when all characters don’t have any chemistry between them. Random plot points like ‘why don’t you bring Gamzee here’ don’t help either! This whole epilogue is supposed to be a bit of a parody on fanfiction, sure, but the least they could do was write a GOOD fanfic, not... this.
6 notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Lana Del Rey: Read NME’s exclusive interview with the modern icon. Lana Del Rey’s new album ‘Lust For Life’ is her most ambitious yet. Mike Williams meets her in the city that inspires her the most, Los Angeles – a place, she says, that “enhances something in me that’s already cooking” – to talk about music, happiness and witchcraft. Interview by Mike Williams. Photography by Neil Krug. It will surprise no one to learn that Dr Dre has very good speakers in his studio. And when I say very good, I don’t mean very good in a pricey and popular headphones kind of way. I mean very good in a “holy s**t, I can hear every individual speck of space dust in this galactic wall of sound” kind of way. It’s how we would all listen to music if we were billionaire music industry moguls. Dre has given us permission to use his Santa Monica studio – across the road from the legendary Interscope Records – to hear ‘Lust For Life’, the latest Lana Del Rey album, for the first time. The inside of the studio is clad with expensive-looking wood. The lights are seductively dimmed. It looks both like Don Draper’s office and the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. There’s a bubbling lava lamp next to a Bruce Lee lampshade on top of the main desk. The drinking water is perfectly cool. It’s totally LA. It’s a fitting place to listen to Del Rey’s coming-of-age record. Huge in scale in every sense – sonically, vocally, thematically – it’s the culmination of two years of relentless work. Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding. As she’ll tell me the following day: “I kind of felt when I started I was going to be in this whole new zone when I was done, a whole new space. I’m really proud that there’s a shift in tone, a shift in perspective. There’s a bit of reflectiveness on what I’m seeing and it’s integrated with how I’m feeling. Normally I’m just, ‘Let me just put this all out there,’ and then I’m really surprised when people are like, ‘You’re f**king crazy.’”
Del Rey has been Interscope labelmates with Dre since October 2011, when she bought herself out of her contract with 5 Points Records, where she’d toyed with different identities and different sounds. Six months earlier, she’d become an overnight star when her aesthetic clicked and she released her debut single proper, ‘Video Games’. In the space of three acclaimed albums (2012’s ‘Born To Die’, 2014’s ‘Ultraviolence’ and 2015’s ‘Honeymoon’) she’s gone from lo-fi internet queen to fully formed Hollywood superstar. And now she doesn’t just have the songs – they’ve been there since the first day Lizzy Grant looked in the mirror and Lana Del Rey winked back – but also the production, the ambition, the pulling power and the brass balls to make ‘Lust For Life’. I hear nine tracks through the big speakers – ‘Love’, ‘Lust For Life’ (Ft. The Weeknd), ’13 Beaches’, ‘Cherry’, ‘White Mustang’, ‘Groupie Love’ (Ft. A$AP Rocky), ‘Coachella – Woodstock In My Mind’, ‘Beautiful People Beautiful Problems’ (Ft. Stevie Nicks) and ‘Tomorrow Never Came’ (Ft. Sean Ono Lennon) – before driving up to a rooftop bar in Hollywood to order drinks from wannabe film stars and looking up towards the hills to meditate on what I’ve just heard. Shoo-wops, doo-wops, wall of sound production; tender moments, angry moments; sex, cars, uncertainties; opulent LA life. If you squint, you can see the famous Hollywood sign in the distance. If you close your eyes you can see Del Rey looking out from her window right inside the middle of the H. The next day we’re in a different studio in a different part of town, this one belonging to Del Rey’s longtime collaborator and producer Rick Nowels. He greets us at the door with a massive grin and ushers us into the main room where the album was recorded. It’s untidy, in a warm and homely way. He wants to know what we think of the record. He’s excited to talk about it. Nowels is a 57-year-old music industry legend who’s worked with Madonna, Tupac, Stevie Nicks and more, but it’s obvious that there’s a particular space in his head and his heart reserved for Del Rey, who he repeatedly describes as “special” and “remarkable”. Del Rey arrives. She’s wearing a crocheted T-shirt and jeans. We sit down in a side room and both press record on our phones. There’s a book about Manson Family victim Sharon Tate on the table that neither of us notices until after the interview is over. I ask her if she’s as happy as she looks on the cover of the new album. “Yeah…” she says. “That was my goal, you know, to get to that place of feeling like in my daily life I had a lot of momentum. Like a moving-on-ness from wherever that other place was that ‘Honeymoon’ and ‘Ultraviolence’ came from. I loved those records, but I felt a little stuck in the same spot.” How did she move on? “I just felt a little more present. Writing a song like ‘13 Beaches’ – it’s a little bit of an abstract notion, but for me it took stopping at 13 beaches one hot day to find one that nobody was at. And I just thought, you know, the concept of needing to find 13 beaches might seem like a luxury problem for someone, but that’s OK, I’m going to go with that.” It’s a key song on the album. Her voice has never sounded bigger or more emotional. “I usually do things in a few takes,” she says, “but I took a lot of takes to do that. The mood that I needed to convey was better than what I was doing. I knew it was important that I came in straight as an arrow with that one. I always feel like I’m creating a new path when I’m doing a song.” Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding. Not that Lana Del Rey has been completely reinvented on ‘Lust For Life’. The title track, the first of five collaborations on the album (no previous LDR album had ever featured a guest artist), may not come from the melancholic cool world of ‘Video Games’ or ‘Terrence Loves You’, but it’s just as nostalgic. Nostalgia can be sad and nostalgia can be happy, and at her best – and let me put it out there, I think this song could be her absolute best ever – Del Rey taps both at once. Does she agree? “I’m thinking about that. It goes in line with how I thought I was going to be in this more grown-up zone [writing this record], but actually I’m still somewhere right in the middle. When I think of that song I think of nighttime and this idea of, I don’t know, breaking into somewhere and carving up and kissing. That’s fun for me; like the place where I’m not 100 per cent in something really solid relationship-wise, where you’re still going out and meeting new people and all that stuff. And also, this Hollywood-centric environment is still an important thing that gives me life, being in town and the characters and the constant heatwave. It’s a little bit of a cliché – I totally get it; but I still feel like it enhances something in me that’s already cooking.” Hollywood and the sunshine can be quite an intoxicating cocktail really, can’t it? “It can. I’m naturally a careful person, so I like that the ambience… I wouldn’t go out and take a cocktail of pills or whatever, you know, but there’s something about the vibe of just being around that gives me a heightened feeling.” The biggest deal collaboration on the album is the duet with Fleetwood Mac legend Stevie Nicks. Del Rey says hearing her vocal takes made her re-evaluate her own tone. She was convinced Nicks would turn her down. She still speaks about it with a look of happy disbelief that it actually happened. But the most interesting duet is actually with the person who is, in their own personal right, the least famous and accomplished of everyone on the record, but by virtue of his surname, the most fascinating. “I’m a huge, huge John Lennon fan,” she says. “I didn’t know [his son] Sean. I got his number from my manager, who called his manager. I kind of was nervous about what he was going to say. I FaceTimed him – he was amazing. He was very excited.” The result is the sweetest song on the album, a tender folky ballad that gently taps through the fourth wall as they reference John and Yoko, then Del Rey sings, “Isn’t life crazy now that I’m singing with Sean”. There’s a story that goes with the song, where Del Rey calls up Lennon to tell him that she thought his part was perfect, and he says that he’s so happy because no one’s ever said that to him before. He’s John Lennon’s son, he’s lived his entire life in his father’s shadow, and Lana Del Rey has just given him his greatest ever compliment. There’s a tragedy in that, don’t you think? “Absolutely. It’s why I think it’s more than just a song for him – for both of us. He’s sensitive, you know. I assume that’s from his father and I think he would probably say that it’s been… some of his reviews have been difficult. I thought that was one of those moments on the record where it was a little bit of a ‘bigger than us’ moment. I told him, ‘I’m the one who’s honoured, I’m the lucky one; so I just want you to remember that, Sean, I’m singing with you.’” The interview goes off in lots of different directions. We talk about hanging in LA with Alex Turner and Miles Kane (“I randomly see Alex. I’ve been working with Miles”); about her deep friendship with Courtney Love (“I can call, and probably just ’cause she’s done so much crazy s**t, I can tell her something very weird and she’ll be like, ‘Been there, done that’”); her love of Kurt Cobain (“top influence other than Bob Dylan”); people watching (“I’m a weird observer”); detective novelist Raymond Chandler (“I’m a big fan, I love The Big Sleep”); and Californian independence (“I’m a proponent of keeping the country together, but it’s so its own zone it may as well be a different country.”) We end by talking about magic and the power of words. Firstly, Donald Trump. He’s still the president, which means that the hex Del Rey asked her Twitter followers to cast on February 24 hasn’t worked (yet). So did she get involved and do it herself? “Yeah, I did it. Why not? Look, I do a lot of s**t.” Do you cast other spells at home? “I’m in line with Yoko and John and the belief that there’s a power to the vibration of a thought. Your thoughts are very powerful things and they become words, and words become actions, and actions lead to physical changes.” The quirky video trailer that you did for the album (a magical Lana looking down on LA from her home in the Hollywood H, ruminating on the world and the space it takes to make a record) – it’s more than a trailer; it’s a personal manifesto, isn’t it? “There is a message. I really do believe that words are one of the last forms of magic and I’m a bit of a mystic at heart. And I’ve seen how I feel about changing those people’s lives and I’ve been on the other side of that as well – on the other side of well-wishes and on the other side of malintent. And I’ve realised how strong you have to be to be; bigger than all of it, even bigger than your own vibrations. “I like that trailer because I talk about my contribution, which is something you start to think about. I’ve got good intentions. It’s not always going to come out right – it hasn’t come out right a lot of the time – but at the core my intentions have always been so good. With the music or when I get into a relationship, it’s always just because I really want to. That’s what’s at the root of this really cute, witchy B-movie.” You make a point in the trailer of saying “in these dark times”. Is there more pressure to contribute something positive right now? “I didn’t like hearing that come out of my mouth. I have a song, ‘When The World Was At War We Kept Dancing’, and I went back and forth so many times about putting it on the record because I didn’t feel comfortable with what I was saying. I don’t like hearing myself say, ‘In error it’s the end of America’, ’cause it’s a troubling sentiment. I didn’t like saying, ‘In these dark times’ either…” We both stop recording but keep talking about the state of the world we live in. I tell her that I can see more and more artists starting to come to terms with the fact that they need to be more outspoken and opinionated. She agrees and says people need to be bold because there are consequences. For the next hour, she makes silly videos on my phone, eats a messy sandwich and helps me choose photos to send to the NME art desk. She couldn’t be less like the idea of Lana Del Rey that most people subscribe to. There’s a confidence in her that perhaps she didn’t have before, a confidence that comes, maybe, from knowing that she’s about to release her most complete album, but knowing too that there are tweaks she could have made, things she should have done differently, things she’ll make right on the next record, ideas she’ll try when she’s next in the studio with Rick. Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding.
65 notes · View notes
gman-003 · 7 years
Text
Aesthetics - The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword analyzed, Part Five
(This is part of my ongoing series analyzing The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, part of a bigger series where I play through and then talk excessively about every game in the Zelda series. If you want to catch up, earlier installments discussed the use of patterns, the story and how it fits into the chronology, the controls, and the flow and friction)
Video games are composite art. They combine dozens of artistic (and non-artistic) disciplines. You have game designers, writers, musicians, and an entire array of visual artists, specializing in textures, models, animation, lighting, and all kinds of other things. I've been focusing a lot on the game design, since that's an understudied field, but all the other elements deserve analysis too. We've already examined the story, so today, we'll take a look at the look of Skyward Sword.
Good: Overall art direction, graphics
When I review games, I make a distinction between "art" and "graphics". The former, as I use the term, is the timeless quality of the art direction, divorced from that specific implementation in the game; the latter is the technical work of making the software turn the artistic vision into reality, judged by what the hardware can theoretically handle. "Art" is that which shows up even in the manual and advertising, that which is unchanged in remakes and ports. Skyward Sword, on the whole, does an excellent job on both fronts.
The graphics are nothing to write home about by 2017 standards, but for a Wii game, it looks excellent. It's important to remember just how weak the Wii was, even compared to the Xbox 360 or Playstation 3. It also has some real limitations on what you can do with it, beyond just strength - since the processor design was identical to the Gamecube, it had very little flexibility, requiring a lot of trickery from programmers to get many special effects.
I'm not really equipped to dig into the technical functioning of it, but just from playing, it seems to hold a mostly-stable 30fps, rendering the game at 360p and upscaling to 480p before rendering UI elements. This is a common trick for console games - this hides the jaggies you get with no antialiasing, and fonts benefit far more from the increased resolution than the 3D environment does, while not costing nearly so much processing time to render. There was some consistent framerate drops during certain cutscenes - most scenes of a Timeshift Stone have some really nasty reduction in framerate - but during gameplay, it seems to be solid, which is when it really matters.
Some very interesting effect is done to create a depth-of-field-like effect, blurring the far background in a painting-like way. Again, I don't have the tools (or, quite frankly, the skills and time) to dig into exactly how this is done, but the effect is really well-done. This serves a gameplay purpose too, by making foreground objects (like enemies or items) stand out more from the background.
Tumblr media
The design of most of the characters is also spot-on. Everything is stylized, anatomy is often exaggerated, and colors are bright and vibrant. There's visual depth to everything, lots of layers, which balances out the flatter colors. Faces are expressive. Costumes are iconic without being overly simple.
Even lots of the fully background characters look pretty good. Wander through Skyloft, and you'll see lots of interesting characters. There are very few background characters with a bland or boring design.
Okay: The Heroes
Which makes it so weird that the two central characters of the game are so dull. Skyward Sword's Link and Zelda aren't bad, really. They're just... completely unremarkable. 
Tumblr media
Link is bland. He doesn't have any of that exaggerated styling that made other characters fun. He just looks like the Link from Twilight Princess with new textures. There's very little depth or layering - the dominant feature is just that blank green tunic. Given how much green there is in the environment, Link often fades into the background. This never reached the level of a gameplay issue, at least for me, but it's still not great when the player character isn't visually distinct from the game world, especially when the story is about him entering a strange new world.
Link also just doesn't fit in. His proportions are far more realistic than the rest, making him look out of place next to caricatures like Beedle or Strich or Gondo. It's not consistent - he looks fine beside Pipit or Kina or Peatrice - but that inconsistency is itself a minor problem.
Tumblr media
Zelda's first design in the game is fine. It's got contrast, it's got depth, it's not the best thing ever but it's pretty good. And she's very well animated - I won't call it Pixar quality but it's leagues ahead of where they were even a few years prior. She's emotionally expressive and responsive. But then she has a costume change, and it's just... nothing.
Tumblr media
It's a white dress. No other color. No layers. No depth. No frills or poofs or anything, besides a bit of lace designs that you can only see in the concept art. They still have her moving well but it's just... so... wasted. Could they really think of nothing more visually interesting than a featureless white dress to symbolize the purification stuff? You don't see her in this outfit all that much, but it's the outfit she's in for the majority of the game, so it's still very important. It wouldn't have taken much to make her design better. Give her any splash of color - a red rope belt (red string has a suitable symbolic meaning in east-asian culture), a purple feather from her Loftwing in her hair, anything really that isn't plain featureless white. Even making that lace rendition of the Hyrulian Royal Crest more visible would have worked. Even if you absolutely insisted on flat white, you could layer the clothing to give depth instead of a featureless white void. Or give her more to wear - a wimple or veil over her head even adds to that "purification" intent (and it's not like Zelda games haven't borrowed religious imagery before). I can't really point to anything that was actually done wrong with Link or Zelda. They just aren't nearly as good as many of the other characters.
Bad: The Villains
Some stuff was just outright bad, though.
Tumblr media
Tentalus, the boss of the Sandship dungeon, is a bizarrely cartoonish enemy design. If its battle was intentionally funny, that could have worked - but the fight is framed as one of the most dramatic in the game. The ship shudders under its attack from the moment it appears, twisting in a section reminiscent of the Call of Duty 4 level "Crew Expendable", of all things. The skies are dark under the pouring rain, lit by distant lightning... the music builds to an ominous tension... as this Baby's First Lovecraftian Horror shows up. It's purple Cthulhu with tentacle dreadlocks. As more than one fan artist has noted, Tentalus looks like it came from a Monsters Inc. knockoff, not a Zelda game with a French Impressionist aesthetic.
And the single eye as a weak point, in this late stage of the game, is frankly unnecessary. Any player who's made it this far knows how boss weak points work. Absent a gameplay justification, it just further serves to make the boss look child-like.
Tumblr media
For a boss that features so prominently in the game, The Imprisoned is also quite poorly designed. His core problem is his lack of features, and how the "gameplay-oriented" features look so out of place.
On the face of it, a dark behemoth, featureless except for a gaping maw, seems like a perfectly fine idea. The early concept art certainly looks good. But now add some white blobs as "toes" that serve as weak points - first, it distracts from that singular focus on the mouth, and second it undercuts the intimidating look of the boss, because seriously, you kill the boss by stabbing its toes? The same thing happens when, in the second and third forms, they added some ungainly long arms, tipped with white blobs as "fingers". They were certainly necessary to make the boss fight playable, but there had to have been another way to do it. It just reeks of a boss that was designed by an artist, and then had to have gameplay elements tacked on.
The Imprisoned also fits very poorly with the painterly aesthetic of the rest of the game. It, almost alone in the game, is harshly geometric, with his hundreds of identical scales. The concept art is quite a bit more abstract, so maybe it's a matter of the Wii not having the horsepower for all those particle effects. But I have to judge the game they released, not the game they wanted to make, and this game has a central villain that doesn't fit.
Had that felt more deliberate, it could have worked. The Twili had that sort of effect in Twilight Princess, with a techno-ish sound and harsh digital effects to play up their alien-ness to Hyrule. But in every way except its appearance, The Imprisoned fits the game normally - normal music, normal gameplay, normal sound effects.
Overall, the game's aesthetic sensibilities are on point. It really is a lovely game. But those few mistakes are all the more glaring when they're surrounded by excellence.
Next time: the greatest flaw of Skyward Sword
1 note · View note
taesthetes · 6 years
Note
(1/?) Travel anon-hi! Oo, good luck! You'll do great and get to bask in potato-ness again! You've convinced me! I'm gonna try to go on a road trip with some friends soon then! Hopefully sometime this summer c; Ah, besides texting people at night while alone, I do walk with my car keys between my fingers (my car keys come out like a switchblade lol?) so I completely understand late night paranoia. Traveling alone and texting people keeps them updated on my goings (and updates their wishlists x'D)
(2/?) I know, right?? Things are so much cheaper in Korea D: When I was there, I hit up a cafe nearly every half day, haha. Sesame drinks are usually hot, but they taste a lot like asian sesame sweets? Nutty, and sometimes pretty sugary (depending on the place that makes it), but the hot liquid with it is steamed milk :D And yes! Hot Apple Cider! Would you try a Sweet Potato Latte? Those are really good too~ Hot Rice Drinks are a little odd to me, but I have a friend who likes those
(3/?) Oh! Taiyaki! Technically the Japanese name for the fish pastry, but you can have those in Japan too! Some of them are filled with chocolate or custard or matcha custard there :D I know what you mean; whenever I saw an interesting snack, I lined up and chowed down, haha. Good thing walking burns off all those extra calories! I’m guilty of trying a bunch of specialty Haagen Dazs ice cream flavors unique to those countries too X’D You’ll definitely feel the same way once you hit up a dog cafe
(4/?) Do you have any dogs yourself? Or cats? Pets, in general? While it’s not jiggly cheesecake, I did like the molten cheese tarts from Pablo Cheesecake in Japan! The tarts are smaller, so it’s easier to portion per person than one whole cake, haha. Uncle Tetsu is a well-known brand for jiggly cheesecakes, if you see one! And oh, don’t worry, please! You’re not scary or anything! I’m super comfortable talking to you actually. I’m just really - shy? Sort of? Thank you for worrying about it tho!
(5/?) True! I didn’t travel during fall/winter until after I graduated ;D now it’s just my go to time, haha. I’ve never made it to Japan for Sakura season because of that ;u; but it’s really expensive then anyways. Maybe someday~ I’d love to take photos of that! Omg yes, leggings everyday, all day - and definitely like potato versatility! Oo, maybe when you have a day to yourself, you could go to a nearby art museum and set up like those students, yourself? It might not be like the museums in-
(6/?) -your travels, but it’ll still work just the same! Art is beautiful wherever you go :D Yup! Switzerland is the happiest place in the world, haha. Honestly, for the crane machine we played, there was 4 of us teaming up 1 machine and eyeballing which plushies would be the easiest to pick up. I’m pretty sure we were just really absurdly lucky that day (unfortunately for our bystanders)! Sometimes, if you’re very into the crane games and still fail, a nice passerby or staff might take pity on-
(7/?) -you and help you win it. That’s what happened to us sometimes XD Yes! Empty suitcase all the way! I pack the bare essentials, and stuff a suitcase in a suitcase for max space on the way back :D Dango is sooo good, I’m drooling at the memory of it right now. I miss it so much ;u; Oh! I’ve heard of that one! I’ve never been there before, but I do want to try it when I go back this year! A good udon branch I tried had a Naruto for the logo, and it’s a chainstore, so it’s everywhere!
(8/?) Any ramen joint is amaaazingggg. Seriously, I’ve tried a bunch of random ones that I just wandered and found, and they were all so good. Have you ever had omurice before? Or oden? Or thought of trying a traditional Japanese breakfast? Those are all good too! I’m sure you’ll hit up Japan again and manage to do all the things you want to do! Maybe you’ll be in Japan when there’s a festival where you’re at! Japan has a looot of festivals after all ;D
(9/9) Okay, this is really long now, wow. Thank you! The new one seems to be working so far :D I’ll see when I get previews of my pins! I watched Avengers today~ I want to say it was good, but that really depends on your viewpoint, haha. Will you watch it any time soon? The rest of my day was mostly spent cursing traffic and getting hyped over the new bts photos! How about you? You make my day too when you reply me (and so in depth)! Thank you for that :D Good luck with your studies 💖💖
hi, m’love! and thank you!! ahhh i’m so excited to be a potato this weekend :’) there’s also mother’s day though, so i have to wake up a little earlier than usual to buy some pretty flowers and maybe an orchid plant for her present. omg yes!! i hope you have lots of fun on the road trip! it’s honestly quite stress relieving and fun to just drive to wherever and enjoy the company of your friends. and same! i do that with my keys, plus i have pepper spray on my key chain, too. and i suppose having heavy textbooks in your bag helps in this instance because i can swing it around if i need to ahah. my friends are already updating their wishlists, too :’)
oh and! my parents decided to change the vacation dates today, and we’re going to be in asia even longer and i’ll be gone for almost all of august in japan and vietnam, so i can go to the concert?? but i don’t think i will because i already spent a lot of money for my t swift tickets and i’ll probably spend so much in japan and vietnam already haha because for me, i’d have to say plushies and good food > bts
i think inflation is pretty high in asia (with the exception of japan) in comparison to usa, so i’m glad things will be much cheaper! oooh, i hope i can go to a dog cafe every half day in japan aaskdjfas and i’ll have to try a sesame drink then! it sounds delicious. and yes! i’ll try the hot apple cider and sweet potato latte, too!   hot rice drinks sound interesting, so i want to try one, too :D
omg now i’ll definitely have to try every taiyaki filling available in japan. and oh my gosh, i didn’t realize how much walking people do in other countries until i realized i actually lost weight when i went on vacation in europe even though i had super rich foods everyday?? i guess usa food portions need to be downsized and i should start walking everywhere now. oooh, i do that with the lays chip flavors! they have unique flavors in different countries, too, and i always try them. i’ll have to look for the haagen dazs ice cream now. hold up, i need to write all of this in my notes on my phone. i don’t want to miss out on any good drinks and food!!
and i wish i did! i want a dog or cat so badly D: the only pet i ever had were fish. do you have any pets? molten cheese tarts sound like heaven, oh gosh, i need to write down these food places too! and oh good, that’s a relief!! i’m glad you’re comfortable talking to me :’)
ahhh i’ll just have to wait until after i graduate to travel more! i think it’s also cheaper during other seasons besides summer since that’s when students are free to travel, too, so hurray for saving money! omg photos of sakura season would be so beautiful. i hope you get to go during then one day!! i love leggings so much, like my goodness, they’re so comfortable. i wear them to bed and i don’t even have to change before i go to my morning classes the next day. 
there’s actually a museum on campus, but the thing is, a lot of the museums around here are more of modern art feel? like obscure abstract sculptures, minimalism, and a lot of photography. i really adore paintings and the older art styles, like renaissance, surrealism, photorealism, impressionism, etc. of course, all art is beautiful, but it’s more enjoyable for me personally to be drawing inspiration from realistic paintings.
ahah i’ll just ask my parents and sister to spot me while i play the crane machines then. hopefully, i’ll get one! wow, but passerby and staff help you win it? is everyone good at crane machines there?? i need them to teach me their ways, so i can stop losing money haha i’ll have to do that, too! hopefully, the suitcase fees aren’t too high.
sfljkhdafs dango sounds so good right about now. honestly, i saw that restaurant in nct life osaka and i love fishing and i love sushi, so i immediately thought, “i have to go there someday.” and the udon chain had a naruto logo on it? i’ll have to look it up, but i wrote it down in my notes! but now, i’m suddenly craving for ramen omg i’m just imagining it. and no, but i’ve seen so many videos of omurice! it looks really cool :o and is oden sort of like a hot pot? hot pot is always yummy, and my mom makes a vietnamese version of it often. oh gosh, i would love to try a traditional breakfast, but i usually don’t wake up early enough for breakfast ahah. and i hope so!! maybe one day, we can meet in japan :D
that’s good to hear! i’m glad the new manufacturer is working out so far. i don’t think i’ll be watching it soon since i’m pretty busy, but if you want to talk about it, i’m totally fine with that! and god, traffic is the worst D: but yes, the new bts photos are so beautiful aslkfjhalsd and i just went to my classes, did my homework and some studying, and watched tv with my roommates, nothing too exciting sadly. and thank you 💞💞 i hope you had a good day today!! also though, i just realized i don’t know who your bts bias is! who’s your favorite? :D and do you listen to any other kpop groups?
(and i just followed you on instagram!! your art is so beautiful oh my goodness, my eyes feel so blessed, i’m scrolling through all your posts and everything is so pretty i cry)
also, if it’s easier for you to message me on kkt and if you have an account and are comfortable with giving me your user, we can do that, too!!
0 notes
tragicbooks · 7 years
Text
14 eye-opening comics about life as a transgender person.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get a greater understanding of what it's like being trans.
When Seattle-area artist Jessica U. started making comics about her life after coming out as transgender, she never thought she'd get the response she did.
After falling out with some close friends, finding that even family would get very easily annoyed with her, and losing two jobs in a row, she needed some kind of outlet to vent her frustrations.
"Everyone made me feel like it was all my fault, like transphobia inside them simply couldn't exist because they pledged their support for me at one point," she says. "I really started to believe that I turned into the awful person and worker many said I become. But when I started drawing the comics about transphobia, other trans people responded immediately, saying that they've been through a lot of the same stuff."
It's been YEARS. But I still wonder about the friends I used to have who abandoned me after my transition. I'm just a sentimental person. http://pic.twitter.com/EmuNWAQelQ
— Jessica Nightmare (@JesskaNightmare) June 4, 2017
She kept writing, drawing, and finding her audience. While she doesn't necessarily make her comic for people unfamiliar with trans issues, if someone learns something new, that's a great bonus.
Here are 14 of Jessica's best comics about her life as a trans woman.
Maybe you'll get a chuckle out of them or maybe you'll learn something new — or better yet, both!
(Psst: If you're unfamiliar with any of the terms used in these comics, check out this awesome glossary of trans-related words on author Julia Serano's website.)
1. Workplace harassment is real, even if it's not always intentional.
According to a 2015 survey by the National Center for Transgender Equality, 30% of all trans people in the workforce had been fired, denied a promotion, or harassed at work for being trans. There's no federal law that explicitly protects people on the basis of gender identity, though some have argued in court that the ban on sex-based discrimination in the Civil Rights Act should apply. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
2. If you're an ally, remember to treat trans people as people. Be cool, be kind.
If you want to be a good ally, read this! Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
3. Explaining gender dysphoria is tricky, but think of it this way...
Gender dysphoria — a kind of dissonance between the gender you are and the one you were assigned at birth — can be especially difficult. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
4. "Trans broken arm syndrome" is real, it's a pain in the butt, and it's also a public health issue.
"Trans broken arm syndrome" is what happens when trans people go to the doctor for something completely and totally unrelated to them being trans (for example, a broken arm) and are told that it's probably the result of their hormone treatments. It's not fun, and it makes actually getting treated for something (a cold, the flu, strep throat, and everything else you can imagine) a lot harder than it needs to be. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
5. Sometimes people just don't get why what might seem like a minor annoyance is actually a pretty big deal.
Jessica's comic on this subject came out back when a "Caitlyn Jenner" Halloween costume was being marketed to men, and yeah, that was pretty awful. It was about more than just that one costume; it was also the fact that the costume pushed a stereotype about trans women being burly men. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
6. Singular "they" is perfectly acceptable, and it shouldn't be a big deal if you're asked to use it.
Most people actually use singular "they" all the time in their speech whenever they don't know the gender of the person they're talking about. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
7. It's not fun when other people try to create criteria for what it means to be a man or a woman.
Jessica's premise — an ally who says that he'll only call a trans woman "she" if she's had gender-confirmation surgery — is super-relatable and messed up for a bunch of reasons. For one, that seems to suggest that people should have to announce what their genitals look like if they want to be called the correct pronouns. Just take people at their word. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
8. Sometimes questions get really personal really fast.
"What do your genitals look like?" "How do you have sex?" "Can I see a 'before' picture?" "What's your 'real' name?" These are all kind of personal questions that can be really, really uncomfortable to have to address — especially when the person asking is someone you just met. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
9. Pronouns and names are important.
As a trans person myself, it can be really hard for me to believe that someone truly accepts me for who I am if they continue to refer to me by the wrong name and pronouns behind my back. It gives the impression that the other person doesn't actually accept me but is merely humoring me when I'm around. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
10. Attacks on trans rights are happening all around us. This is where allies are really needed.
And yes, the situation described in the comic actually happened. North Carolina, Texas, and other states have experienced or are experiencing some pretty intense anti-trans messaging to push for discriminatory laws. The truth is that the common argument that policies protecting trans people's rights to be able to use public restrooms will be exploited by cisgender men "pretending to be trans" to sexually assault women isn't actually backed up by data — so they create situations, which is majorly messed up. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
11. The "debate" about whether trans people are legitimate finds its way to newspaper opinion pages and TV segments on a frustratingly regular basis.
It seems like just every few weeks a major media outlet in the U.S. or Europe will publish some variation on "What Makes a Woman?" or "Are Trans Activists Going Too Far?" The totally bizarre thing is that these stories tend to use the same arguments over and over and over and — well, you get the idea. It's pretty frustrating to have your existence talked about as an abstract hypothetical when there are so many very important, real things happening in the world. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
12. Compliments can have a way of taking weird turns — and often aren't compliments at all.
"I would have never guessed" is a common "compliment" people say to trans people, but that's just because there's this idea that trans women and trans men all look "visibly trans." The truth is that trans people are everywhere, and even if you don't think you know a trans person, you probably do. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
13. There's the whole "Oh no, is my existence going to be the punchline again?" anxiety when it comes to watching, well, anything.
"Ace Ventura," "Silence of the Lambs," "The Crying Game," and more; there's no shortage of less-than-sensitive entertainment that either uses trans people as a surprise twist or a cheap joke. Honestly, it wouldn't be that bad if not for the fact that there really aren't a whole lot of positive portrayals to counter the negative. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
14. It's difficult to be pigeonholed as "the trans person." People are complex, and not every trans person spends every waking moment thinking about trans-ness in the world.
We're all more than just our gender, trans people included. But seriously, it can be exhausting to constantly have to explain who you are to the world like a sentient encyclopedia of gender. It's just something worth keeping in mind. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
Check out the rest of Jessica's comics at ManicPixieNightmareGirls.com and visit her Patreon page for more exclusive content.
0 notes
socialviralnews · 7 years
Text
14 eye-opening comics about life as a transgender person.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get a greater understanding of what it's like being trans.
When Seattle-area artist Jessica U. started making comics about her life after coming out as transgender, she never thought she'd get the response she did.
After falling out with some close friends, finding that even family would get very easily annoyed with her, and losing two jobs in a row, she needed some kind of outlet to vent her frustrations.
"Everyone made me feel like it was all my fault, like transphobia inside them simply couldn't exist because they pledged their support for me at one point," she says. "I really started to believe that I turned into the awful person and worker many said I become. But when I started drawing the comics about transphobia, other trans people responded immediately, saying that they've been through a lot of the same stuff."
It's been YEARS. But I still wonder about the friends I used to have who abandoned me after my transition. I'm just a sentimental person. http://pic.twitter.com/EmuNWAQelQ
— Jessica Nightmare (@JesskaNightmare) June 4, 2017
She kept writing, drawing, and finding her audience. While she doesn't necessarily make her comic for people unfamiliar with trans issues, if someone learns something new, that's a great bonus.
Here are 14 of Jessica's best comics about her life as a trans woman.
Maybe you'll get a chuckle out of them or maybe you'll learn something new — or better yet, both!
(Psst: If you're unfamiliar with any of the terms used in these comics, check out this awesome glossary of trans-related words on author Julia Serano's website.)
1. Workplace harassment is real, even if it's not always intentional.
According to a 2015 survey by the National Center for Transgender Equality, 30% of all trans people in the workforce had been fired, denied a promotion, or harassed at work for being trans. There's no federal law that explicitly protects people on the basis of gender identity, though some have argued in court that the ban on sex-based discrimination in the Civil Rights Act should apply. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
2. If you're an ally, remember to treat trans people as people. Be cool, be kind.
If you want to be a good ally, read this! Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
3. Explaining gender dysphoria is tricky, but think of it this way...
Gender dysphoria — a kind of dissonance between the gender you are and the one you were assigned at birth — can be especially difficult. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
4. "Trans broken arm syndrome" is real, it's a pain in the butt, and it's also a public health issue.
"Trans broken arm syndrome" is what happens when trans people go to the doctor for something completely and totally unrelated to them being trans (for example, a broken arm) and are told that it's probably the result of their hormone treatments. It's not fun, and it makes actually getting treated for something (a cold, the flu, strep throat, and everything else you can imagine) a lot harder than it needs to be. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
5. Sometimes people just don't get why what might seem like a minor annoyance is actually a pretty big deal.
Jessica's comic on this subject came out back when a "Caitlyn Jenner" Halloween costume was being marketed to men, and yeah, that was pretty awful. It was about more than just that one costume; it was also the fact that the costume pushed a stereotype about trans women being burly men. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
6. Singular "they" is perfectly acceptable, and it shouldn't be a big deal if you're asked to use it.
Most people actually use singular "they" all the time in their speech whenever they don't know the gender of the person they're talking about. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
7. It's not fun when other people try to create criteria for what it means to be a man or a woman.
Jessica's premise — an ally who says that he'll only call a trans woman "she" if she's had gender-confirmation surgery — is super-relatable and messed up for a bunch of reasons. For one, that seems to suggest that people should have to announce what their genitals look like if they want to be called the correct pronouns. Just take people at their word. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
8. Sometimes questions get really personal really fast.
"What do your genitals look like?" "How do you have sex?" "Can I see a 'before' picture?" "What's your 'real' name?" These are all kind of personal questions that can be really, really uncomfortable to have to address — especially when the person asking is someone you just met. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
9. Pronouns and names are important.
As a trans person myself, it can be really hard for me to believe that someone truly accepts me for who I am if they continue to refer to me by the wrong name and pronouns behind my back. It gives the impression that the other person doesn't actually accept me but is merely humoring me when I'm around. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
10. Attacks on trans rights are happening all around us. This is where allies are really needed.
And yes, the situation described in the comic actually happened. North Carolina, Texas, and other states have experienced or are experiencing some pretty intense anti-trans messaging to push for discriminatory laws. The truth is that the common argument that policies protecting trans people's rights to be able to use public restrooms will be exploited by cisgender men "pretending to be trans" to sexually assault women isn't actually backed up by data — so they create situations, which is majorly messed up. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
11. The "debate" about whether trans people are legitimate finds its way to newspaper opinion pages and TV segments on a frustratingly regular basis.
It seems like just every few weeks a major media outlet in the U.S. or Europe will publish some variation on "What Makes a Woman?" or "Are Trans Activists Going Too Far?" The totally bizarre thing is that these stories tend to use the same arguments over and over and over and — well, you get the idea. It's pretty frustrating to have your existence talked about as an abstract hypothetical when there are so many very important, real things happening in the world. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
12. Compliments can have a way of taking weird turns — and often aren't compliments at all.
"I would have never guessed" is a common "compliment" people say to trans people, but that's just because there's this idea that trans women and trans men all look "visibly trans." The truth is that trans people are everywhere, and even if you don't think you know a trans person, you probably do. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
13. There's the whole "Oh no, is my existence going to be the punchline again?" anxiety when it comes to watching, well, anything.
"Ace Ventura," "Silence of the Lambs," "The Crying Game," and more; there's no shortage of less-than-sensitive entertainment that either uses trans people as a surprise twist or a cheap joke. Honestly, it wouldn't be that bad if not for the fact that there really aren't a whole lot of positive portrayals to counter the negative. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
14. It's difficult to be pigeonholed as "the trans person." People are complex, and not every trans person spends every waking moment thinking about trans-ness in the world.
We're all more than just our gender, trans people included. But seriously, it can be exhausting to constantly have to explain who you are to the world like a sentient encyclopedia of gender. It's just something worth keeping in mind. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.
Check out the rest of Jessica's comics at ManicPixieNightmareGirls.com and visit her Patreon page for more exclusive content.
from Upworthy http://ift.tt/2tyMLxI via cheap web hosting
0 notes
Text
Discourse of Wednesday, 22 February 2017
Here's the email that says that you made concessions to the larger-scale, but you did quite a solid job, and I've gone ahead and send me no later than Sunday afternoon, we could meet on campus on Monday. I am myself less than absolutely perfectly optimal. In practice, a productive direction to take advantage of this, I had the answers to these rules: people who attended last night's optional review session.
What is his point? I've ever worked with. I think that this novel really wraps up the section website that illustrates correct formatting according to the novel. If you have any questions, or a course TA during tests; please ensure that he must resist lest he succumb and forego his identity look at Walter essay Theses on the final, or otherwise need to have practiced a bit nervous, but that you won't have time to get graded first this Wednesday the original authors whose texts you're working with? Not feeling well. I think. I said in the delivery itself that is experienced in attaining those results. /after/the first people to dig in to the central claim that you're making. And how does the novel. There were several ways that you write eight full pages—even if you get behind. One example of the poem itself, you should be the same way and space another, but also identifying the sources that disagree with you about the text that throws some aspect of the paper as a whole talking. 6 p. Does this help? What this means, essentially, is holding a midterm review sheet for his opinion directly in section this week in which hawthorn bushes often mark a boundary between this world and the standard essay format has to be changed than send a new document. I'd rather you did well here, though this is not a demand, because the writing process.
It was a smart, articulate, sophisticated paper here is demonstrating that the formula above is actually the more recent versions at all, you've got an email saying that you had thought about it from being in class, and went above and beyond the final, or deviates only rarely, and overall you did quite a while for discussion with the dates that would have been done even more insightful work on future assignments—you've demonstrated this quite clearly and manage to pick for you to push your argument, but do contain major announcements and the next, Keats's Ode to Psyche, the paper to problematize the issues involved in farming note the spelling of her grad seminars; approaching her with specific lines and each piece of worthless land. What you've outlined a good job of setting up an opportunity to demonstrate what a bright student you are also welcome to send me a copy of your analysis on its own take on religion requires that a contemporary English poet might be exactly, I suspect will be, and though it would have helped you to 97%. 64; and, if you re-read. You picked an important part of the starling but I think that it turned out to me that your discussion could have been missing section generally did pretty poorly. I hope you had an A paper; and any other questions, OK? Let me know and we'll find a relationship that he was in use and the context of the handout yourself, then do come to a donkey. Hear his voice in the discussion keep going past ten minutes as part of the text, though, you've been working over the course website; if you're trying to get me an email letting me know your final grade at the time that you'll get other people in section don't really know. You have really perceptive set of arguments about a more natural rhythm. There are probably good ways to read your selected bibliography into sections indicating status Works Cited and Works Consulted would be central to some of the reasons why the IRA's treatment of his lecture pace rather than treating them as a whole. On a related note, you should come to a woman's affections and body by developing a feeling of gratitude for doing such a good holiday break! I think that your score was 46%. Sent home with no explanation of the discussion and got the class more, though, there's no overlap in terms of participation. Let me know what works best. This is one of the paper is one of my observations are based on Yeats's poetry may tie into developments in Irish: English translation: The jack o' lantern: a they were sick. Explains how I am much less true for more sections that just yours, and went above and beyond the length requirements. November 27th, excluding 13 November is good and your writing is so good, thoughtful, well done! You could theoretically also file a petition. Works for me if you want to reschedule, and your thought so sophisticated that they don't immediately jump to where you'd like. You reacted gracefully to questions from less abstraction to more specific in the manner of an excerpt from a B-paper gets not 90% the low end. Section Guidelines handout. Awesome!
You can take some reasonable guesses. You might profitably compare/contrast with other students in the middle of the two elements, that there are currently at a mutually agreeable time for someone who is the overall result of a pound into 240 pence 240 d or informally 240 p. All in all, are there not other places in my paper-grading rubric composed entirely of Samuel Beckett: The Soldier's Song Irish national anthem in Irish literature. Shift p. You allowed the group is not the discussions following them. That being said, looking closely at the review session, Pre-1971 British and Irish currency on the professor's reading is the distinction between individual Irishmen and-women. 608-613; p.
Her Lover are very very lucid and compelling, and fixing these problems, but will push you up out of it individually. The Music Box/1932: There is section this week. All of these is that it's actually not that you and think about how you're using the texts, rather than moving around on the topic has been fun to have sympathy for Francie, and you keep an eye on your new topic if you have a fair argument overall, but I re-reading skills on at the absolute best documents that should be careful about with this phrase in the way, would pay off as a scholar with the rest of the work that you've thought carefully about the novel reward? I really liked it. Get better. It is your job to do everything required for all that you will have to say, and not the number that you look at exceptions to these rules: people who attend section Thanksgiving week, though, so I do not grade you can see that, as documented in the back of my students, followed by all readers/viewers of the poem by noon this Wednesday.
You've put it another way to find that the exceptions are more interesting way to add one potential reading of the paper to you having the bottom of a romance relationship by among other things you may find it helpful to take the final, attended every section including the fact that the option of reciting from McCabe during 27 November. Participatory-ness, I haven't yet or hadn't, when it comes time to meet. Hi! 5 p. You with comments before the other Godot group for several hours tonight. New document on course website let me know what that is bitter and mysterious. Well done on this. I didn't have to get back to you. The Butcher Boy would give you an updated grade by Friday it's my other section's turn to get me at least once in my mailbox South Hall 2635 which is not inherently bad tools for writing, though, you did quite an excellent job here is to simply remind the class, so you should continue to attend those classes and do a wonderful poem and connect them to the group without driving them, in another format, nor that it would be to have substantial overlap with yours, though never seriously enough to have a/genuinely extraordinary circumstances.
0 notes
Text
Week #4: Tennis Court
youtube
This song is pretty much high school in a nutshell. It has been called “the older, slightly crazier cousin of the Top 10 hit [Royals]”. There’s this edge of uncertainty, of trying to appease. Yet during the entire song, Lorde sings with a sort of unfaltering mundane-ness- she’s bored.
That’s high school. It’s boring. It’s the same thing every day. People are always TALKING. But the class clowns, the beauty queens in tears and your boys keep it interesting. And sometimes, you just want to go down to the tennis courts and make out with someone on the low, sometimes you just want to go down to the tennis courts and talk about something good.
This song was my window into the lives of teenagers- I’ve almost grown into the life she talks about here. Pretending not to care is cool, making people laugh shoots you to instant popularity, being beautiful makes you a queen. It’s the roles we make up in our heads that we fulfill in the kingdom, constantly asking- you want to have fun, don’t you?
Subject: Lorde speaks in a first person perspective- using “I” and “we” pronouns. In this song, she seems to take on a role as the “beauty queen” of her group, which reflects in her lyrics. She speaks with an affirmative, almost domineering personality.
Occasion: Tennis Court isn’t as straightforward as the other songs on Pure Heroine. She talks about a multitude of different things, and it’s hard to really be sure what she is getting at. The occasion seems to be discussing quite publicly about her thoughts on fame, all the while encouraging her friends to meet her at the tennis courts for times of fun again.
Audience: She’s talking to both her friends and the people who are doubting her success. She’s almost laughing at her naysayers and coming back at them with a sassy attitude. She speaks to her friends, almost reassuring them that she’s still the same girl she was before her fame, and expresses her desire to just talk to them the way they did before.
Purpose: Her purpose is to speak candidly on the realities of what it’s like to be famous. She thinks that the people who doubt her are “boring”, and she wishes they would stop talking. She also makes some points about the nature of society- how we like to talk so much and gossip about stupid things. At the base level, Tennis Court’s purpose is to set the scene of the album a bit, as 400 Lux does. We get the impression that these “tennis courts” is where she spends a lot of her time with her friends. Starting the album with this song effectively puts us into Lorde’s life.
Analysis
Not only is this the beginning of the song, but it’s also the beginning of the entire album. She begins:
 Don't you think that it's boring how people talk?
Making smart with their words again, well I'm bored
The rhetorical question- “Don’t you think that it’s boring how people talk?” effectively sets up the rest of the song and the overall theme of the album as well. Music critics often cite the importance of this line for its critical tone- the entire existence of Pure Heroine subtly criticizes overly-luxurious lifestyles and society’s obsession with fame and pop culture. Asking this question sort of confronts the listener upfront- are you as bored as I am? I’m bored. Are you? The effect of this question is that it sets up Lorde’s tone right away- she isn’t happy with people’s tendency to gossip and talk too much about others. It bores her. She’s bored of the pop culture music scene- she’s announcing that she’s here to shake things up. There’s this air of superiority- she’s smart, and she knows it. Of course she does.
“Making smart with their words again” is another functional shift- she uses “smart” as a noun when it is really an adjective. The effect of this is that it creates sort of colorful language from Lorde- her lyrics appear more abstract, more out of the box. It also reinforces her superior, teenager tone- they think they’re so smart, don’t they? Well, I’m bored. She repeats the idea of being “bored” once again. She’s implying that she knows better than them- everything that happens in mainstream media bores her. It’s almost laughing, scoffing- I can do better than that. I’m bored- aren’t you? Listen to me and you won’t be.
Again, this is a pretty cocky tone that she writes with here, similar to certain parts of Team. Being cocky is another part of teenage culture- in fact, it helps you survive. If you’re constantly beating down on yourself, you’re going to be miserable. Lorde knows this- she embraces it. She’s smart enough to speak her mind and doesn’t back down.
She continues:
Because I'm doing this for the thrill of it, killin' it
Never not chasing a million things I want
And I am only as young as the minute is, full of it
Getting pumped up on the little bright things I bought
But I know they'll never own me (yeah)
Okay, so apparently Lorde loves assonance, a lot. “Thrill of it, killin’ it, million things I want, full of it” is just one of many that appear in the album. The effect of this is that it creates a sort of bounce, a rhythm of its own. Everything also feels very connected to each other, like the lines are all traced back to something bigger. It also creates the feeling that this is all intentional- it’s not just coincidental that she uses these rhetorical strategies in her songs. Lorde’s smartness shines through here- it feels right, it feels exact. This subtly goes back to her overall purpose of talking about society with a critical eye, outwitting her audience by sneaking in things like this.
“Killin’ it / Never not chasing a million things I want” has that same bratty tone. She’s basically saying she’s slaying the game and she does whatever she wants- she takes orders from no one. This is a very bold way to start a song, and an even bigger way to start the album. From the very beginning we know that Lorde has a very strong sense of herself. She may seem cocky but for some reason, that opening line makes us hear her out- we feel like maybe she’s onto something here. “Never not” is also a litotes- it uses double negatives to make an understated point. The effect of this is that it initially confuses the listener, and it also makes her appear cleverer. It’s like she’s running circles around our heads, letting us decipher exactly what she’s talking about.
“And I am only as young as the minute is, full of it” has Lorde referring to her age once more, as she does in Team, Ribs and Still Sane. The phrase “minute is” sounds very similar to “million” as mentioned in the previous line- it creates a mini assonance of its own. This goes back to her smart, sly tone. She does all of these things intentionally, constantly reminding us of her skill and ability. “Full of it” has a hint of self-awareness- she’s aware that she’s being bratty and demanding. She never actually backs down- she just acknowledges her behavior. The whole sentence is based on polysyndeton- she repeats the conjunction “as” and starts with “and”. The effect of this is that it emphasizes the quantity of her words, and it kind of creates a sporadic tone- she’s going very quickly, and she never seems to stop to breathe.
This whole verse just oozes with this smart, witty language that hardly seems to take any breaks. She rarely pauses- everything seems to just pour out of her mouth. “Getting pumped up on the little bright things I bought” is sort of a contradiction when you listen to the rest of the album- she spends the duration of Royals speaking against luxury and does the same on Team. Yet she still admits that she loves material things- they “pump her up” as she mentions here. The rest of Tennis Court is also a bit about anti-materialism, but more about the way people are treating her and her upcoming fame. Pure Heroine as a whole artistic piece contradicts itself multiple times- she hates consumer culture but readily admits that it makes her happy. This makes her very human and real- through a series of ten songs, she conveys her biggest character flaw- a lack of self-control.
“But I know they'll never own me (yeah)” signifies a shift in the tone song and clues us in to what the song is about- a catchy criticism of “them”- being, the doubters and petty people in her life who love to gossip about her and question her actions. From this point on, her tone is a little less cocky. She stops talking about herself and starts talking to her friends- she is no longer the bratty teen we hear in the first verse. She uses the word (diction) “never” once again- we get the feeling that when she says “never”, she means it. She’ll never let “them” own her and control her creative ideas. This sums up the entire purpose of the song- fighting against this outside source of the media and record labels trying to make her conform to the ideal pop star standard. Tennis Court ultimately rejects these offers at a traditional life and opts for quality (albeit a little kooky- who just goes to empty tennis courts to hang out?) times with her friends, where she feels she belongs.
And now, the chorus:
Baby be the class clown, I'll be the beauty queen in tears
It's a new art form showing people how little we care (yeah)
We're so happy, even when we're smilin' out of fear
Let's go down to the tennis court, and talk it up like yeah (yeah)
There’s kind of a lot going on here. To start, she mentions two fairly common tropes/clichés in the first line- “class clown” and “beauty queen in tears” are both “roles” that are often thrust open teenagers in high school- think John Hughes’ The Breakfast Club. The reason she does this is because these tropes are fairly well known- pretty much everyone listening to the song knows what a “class clown” and “beauty queen” is. These assigned “roles” goes back to the sort of “make believe” teenage world she talks about in Team. If we just play these parts, we can ignore the world we know in the media. This teenage world is unlike the world we know in the mainstream world- in this world, we can be class clowns or beauty queens and everything feels right. Her word choice here is fond and affectionate- she calls this person “baby” and encourages this person to play the role that she wants them to. The effect of this is that it creates warmth in her tone and it allows the audience to evaluate her level of seriousness.
“It's a new art form showing people how little we care (yeah)” is intentionally vague. We have literally no idea what the antecedent “it” even refers to. We can only assume that “it” refers to their everyday lives and the stuff they do when they hang out- their life is metaphorically an “art form” because they don’t care about the outside world and media. “Art form” is symbolism for their lives- they’re so cool and careless and smart that everything they do is literally a medium for art. This could also be Lorde saying that she takes great inspiration from her friends- they’re the art form that allows her to create her art.
“We're so happy, even when we're smilin' out of fear” has some strong diction and juxtaposition. Her diction is simple- words like “happy” “smiling” and “fear” are everyday words to describe emotion. Pairing sunny words like “happy” and “smiling” with a strong word like “fear” juxtaposes the lies versus the reality. They’re terrified about something, but they pretend to be happy. It’s all really a lie- they’re smiling out of fear. They’re trying to laugh about the situation instead of actually facing the truth- something done often by teenagers. Being happy and lighthearted (like a class clown) is cooler and makes you more popular than admitting you’re afraid. Think about it- all the cool heroes are brave, aren’t they?
“Let's go down to the tennis court, and talk it up like yeah (yeah)” is interesting as well, because it introduces the setting. The tennis court is symbolism for Lorde’s feeling of comfort- at the tennis court, Lorde feels safe and happy. This is in contrast to the way the media makes her feel- afraid. At the tennis court, she is escaping her problems and worries. She’s inviting her friends to the tennis court, effectively rejecting the life of luxury and fame that awaits her.
The tennis court is also another personal place to Lorde; she mentions visiting them often:
“I grew up mostly in a part of Auckland called the North Shore. It’s basically suburbs, and there isn’t really a lot to do. You have to catch a boat if you want to go into the city, so we all kick around and everyone rides bikes everywhere because no one can drive! There’s lots of finding underpasses and tennis courts and places that we make our own! And a lot of house parties…”
People also theorize that Lorde is alluding to the Tennis Court Oath during the French Revolution in 1789. This is fairly consistent to the rest of Lorde’s lyrics, with royals, queens, kings and thrones. This theory would be fairly consistent with her ideas and be in line with how her group of friends are essentially leading a revolution against the mainstream media.
Despite the idea of "going down to the tennis courts" being fairly abstract and slightly unrelatable (again…how many teens just go to empty tennis courts to talk?) you are actually able to project yourself onto many aspects of it. This is because the tennis court is just a symbol for a place to kill time, which many teens recognize and understand. The "tennis court" could be anywhere- as long as you're having fun.  
Pretty soon, I'll be getting on my first plane
I'll see the veins of my city like they do in space
But my head's filling up fast with the wicked games, up in flames
How can I fuck with the fun again, when I'm known?
And my boys trip me up with their heads again, loving them
Everything's cool when we're all in line, for the throne
But I know it's not forever (yeah)
There's a bit of a tone shift from this point on- the song gets darker, more erratic. It feels like she's starting to lose it a little bit- the realities of fame are starting to hit her full throttle. She’s less cocky, more self-conscious.
The line "Pretty soon, I'll be getting on my first plane / I'll see the veins of my city like they do in space" consists of a simile, in which she compares what she expects to see to what lights look like from above, in space. She uses this simile because pretty much everyone is familiar with what cities look like from an astronaut's perspective- a bunch of lights creating "veins". This makes her message clearer, and it allows the listener to understand the setting she is describing.
She also personifies her city here by saying that she'll see the "veins" of it when she catches her first plane. Cities obviously don't have actual veins- it would be impossible for it to have human characteristics. But the effect of this personification is that it makes her city seem "alive"- bustling and moving as if it were a living organism. The affection she feels for her hometown shows very clearly here- she treats it as if it were a real person.
The idea of the “first plane” is monumental to Lorde, because it signifies that Lorde hasn’t ever left her town- New Zealand is all she has ever known. This adds to her overall purpose of criticizing the popular media- she mentions the “first plane” because this is in stark contrast to celebrities who take plane rides everywhere and have been all around the world. She recognizes that her upcoming fame will become her new reality, but she still reminds herself that this is literally going to be the first time she’s ever leaving the country.
“But my head's filling up fast with the wicked games, up in flames” is where the song starts to progressively get more sporadic and a little more anxious- how am I going to be normal ever again if I’m going to be famous? Her diction is progressively filled with fear. “Up in flames” has this very scary, destructive meaning to it- when things are “up in flames”, they’re being destroyed and essentially obliterated. Her “wicked games” with her friends are being destroyed by her fame, because she can no longer live a normal life. The choice to describe the games as “wicked” is intentional as well- this word has this sort of evil, up to no good connotation. This plays into her bratty teenager tone, where she proudly talks about her sometimes terrible behavior.
By mentioning that her head is “filling up fast” we get a peek into her mental state- the anxieties surrounding fame are starting to get to her. Everything is hitting her at once- she feels like her normal life is “up in flames” because of this. Her diction very distinctly conveys her feelings and growing paranoia over what is happening to her.
“How can I fuck with the fun again, when I'm known?” is a very strong, albeit confused rhetorical question. She knows we aren’t going to have an answer for her- only other famous people will ever really get the anxiety she feels about being famous. The average target listener of this album (teenagers) don’t really know what fame is like- Lorde being personal with her feelings is how we learn. So although she asks this question- she knows she isn’t going to get an answer. It’s a bit of a lost cause- she isn’t going to be able to fuck with the fun again (have fun with her friends at the “tennis court”) because her fame will render it impossible- she’ll never be normal ever again. She accepts this, but she can’t help but still search for the answer.
This is one of the few lines of the entire album that Lorde ever swears- the only other song with a swear word is Still Sane. This is actually kind of odd considering this is an album written by a teenager for teenagers- swearing is an everyday part of the teenage dichotomy. The effect of this word choice is that it sets up the tone for the rest of the album- she isn’t going to censor herself. This is also goes back to the idea of a bratty tone- most adults frown upon teenagers for swearing as it is considered rude. But Lorde shows once again how she “doesn’t care”- she’s “too cool” to follow the rules.
The syntax of “And my boys trip me up with their heads again, loving them” is very similar to the earlier line “But my head's filling up fast with the wicked games, up in flames”. Both lines start with conjunctions, implying that they’re adding onto the lines that came before them. Both lines also end with interjections that create a finishing touch to her original idea. The effect of having these similar sentence structures is that it connects the two ideas together- before, her head was “up in flames”, but now her boys are reminding her of the love and affection she displays in the chorus. The similar syntax effectively shows a change in her feelings- she felt scared, but now she feels loved.
Lorde mentioning her “boys” is also interesting, because teenage boys are often a species of their own sometimes. They’re just silly- they’re hardly serious about anything. This is why hanging out with her boys works to ease Lorde’s anxiety- they “trip her up” and stop her from worrying so much. Boys, at times, can shrug things off much easier than girls- her boys as telling her to ease up a little and stop worrying about the future. This is how Lorde’s tone lightens up a bit- she doesn’t need to be full of it anymore. She has her boys, her friends, and her town- she no longer has to fight the media alone.
“Everything's cool when we're all in line, for the throne” also has the same sentence structure as the “boys” and “wicked games” lines. All three lines pause before making a declaration at the end- up in flames, loving them, for the throne. This has a very dramatic effect- it keeps the listener waiting and it allows the listener to fully understand her point. This syntax is built in a way that the ending is the most important part- it basically functions as a periodic sentence. The diction in this line is very distinct as well- “in line for the throne” is very royal, kingdom related word choice. This similar diction is found in other songs like Royals, Team, and White Teeth Teens. The effect of having aristocratic diction in multiple songs of the album is that it ties the piece together- Lorde effectively intertwines both teenagers and kingdoms under one album. Her diction allows this to happen, because everything feels consistent.
“But I know it's not forever (yeah)” sways back into that anxious tone- just when Lorde appears calm and happy once more. The tone in Tennis Court changes very often- she starts cocky, then shifts to a more unifying approach in the chorus. Then the second verse comes out as anxious and terrified, until she calms down a bit at the thought of her boys. Now at this line, Lorde just seems flat out lost. Lorde talks about the idea of “forever” often on Pure Heroine (400 Lux, Ribs, Still Sane), and it is evidently something that she thinks about a lot. This is a common line of thought for teenagers- at times, it feels like all of this bullshit is going to last forever. But it’s not. I think we all secretly know that- as does Lorde. She knows that her time at the tennis courts is running out- it’s not forever. What’s interesting is how this line ends the second verse- it transitions straight into the booming chorus right after. It’s like she doesn’t want us to dwell on what she says for too long- it’s not forever. Oh well.
And finally, the bridge:
It looked alright in the pictures
Getting caught half of the trip though, isn't it?
I fall apart, with all my heart
And you can watch from your window
And you can watch from your window
Oh, the vague, simplistic diction. It’s so vague that it becomes very abstract- what is she even talking about here? She says one thing and it brings up a billion questions. What pictures? Why does she keep using the antecedent “it” but never tells us what “it” is? The “it” is never described in detail- we just know that it “looked alright in the pictures”. The diction is very casual- eh, it looks alright I guess. This is very consistent with teenager lingo- she just talks in the same way that teenagers do. The effect of this diction is that it’s casual- we don’t feel like she’s talking above us. We feel like she’s one of us, not a celebrity prodigy.
“Getting caught half of the trip though, isn't it?” is another very smart rhetorical question. It feels like she’s grinning during the entire song- slyly admitting that she isn’t immune from getting in trouble. This makes her tone turn a little more mischievous- she readily admits to getting caught and loving it. The thrill of being caught is what excites her so much- that’s what makes hanging out so fun.
"I fall apart, with all my heart" not only rhymes, but has a desperately aloof tone despite its fairly sad diction. She's admitting her emotional distress, but her tone never changes from being bored and slightly cocky. She says this part with a shrug- yeah, I'm falling apart. But who cares? The specifically sad diction is surprising- she stays level headed during the duration of the song. But this one line reveals the crack in her armor- she's falling apart. She's sad- she tells us that up front. But for some reason, we ignore her- after all, she's too cool to care, right? This is the contradictions coming back to haunt her, and it's a little hard to be sure how she really feels.
Lorde literally scoffs when she says, "And you can watch from your window". She's saying that the general public will be able to watch her "falling apart" through our "windows". The "window" is a symbol for society always watching the lives of famous people- watching, but never being let in. We are always watching from our windows- we are always peering into the lives of celebrities but never going into those rooms, never really knowing what's inside. Lorde says this line with irony- she spends the entire song criticizing the way society is always "talking" and "gossiping", always caring too much about celebrities. But here, she mocks us. She tells us she's falling apart, then invites us to watch. Since you like talking so much, I know you'd love to talk about this.
Lorde mentioned these "windows" once again in her end of 2014 Tumblr letter:
"It was the year of peering through windows into beautiful rooms, and realizing as the year slipped away that I was in that room now, not looking in"
The "room" symbolizes the lives of famous people- the "window" symbolizes our outlet into these rooms, such as with social media.
I think she's talking as both a celebrity and a normal person here. She mocks the way celebrities invite us to their "windows" but also speaks with authority due to her upcoming fame. She understands the contradictory notion of her words but says them anyways. Her tone is always smirking, always a smartass, even when she's falling apart. When she's sad, when she's anxious, when she's afraid- she's still cooler than us.
This bridge feels like Lorde's downward spiral- I'm getting caught, I'm falling apart- but hey, at least that's something the media can talk about.
When I first heard this song, I thought this line referred to the idea of a peeping Tom- literally somebody "looking through their window" and watching Lorde get undressed or something. This is fairly consistent with teenager imagery- such as the novel Then Again, Maybe I Won't by Judy Blume. This interpretation makes Lorde seem even more like a godlike girl all the boys look up to, especially since she knows they're looking through the window, and even invites them to keep doing it. But that’s pretty creepy, so let’s stick with the windows being a symbol for fame and luxury.
Tennis Court is about being cool. It’s about pretending not to care when you really, really do. Lorde spends the entire song fighting off attention then demanding it just moments later. There always seems to be something deeper than what she really says. Tennis Court is a teenage dream- you’re young, you’re famous, you’re the beauty queen in tears. Everybody plays a role- just how good are you at acting the part?
Lyrics
[Verse 1] Don't you think that it's boring how people talk?
Rhetorical question that establishes a superior tone
Making smart with their words again, well I'm bored
Functional shift, repetition of the idea of being bored to really enforce how Lorde feels
Because I'm doing this for the thrill of it, killin' it
Assonance, shows Lorde’s smartness and creates a bounce in her rhythm 
Never not chasing a million things I want
Litotes, uses double negatives to run circles around the listener 
And I am only as young as the minute is, full of it
Assonance and polysyndeton that make the sentence very fast paced
Getting pumped up from the little bright things I bought But I know they'll never own me (yeah)
Intentionally vague diction and antecedent that doesn’t tell the audience exactly what she’s talking about 
[Chorus] Baby, be the class clown, I'll be the beauty queen in tears
Tropes/cliches that create a teen state of mind
It's a new art form showing people how little we care (yeah)
The “art form” is symbolism for the creative ways they live their lives- “not caring” goes back to the overall tone
We're so happy, even when we're smilin' out of fear Let's go down to the tennis court, and talk it up like yeah (yeah) 
The tennis court symbolizes a place where Lorde feels happy and content, not anxious from the media and fame
[Verse 2] Pretty soon, I'll be getting on my first plane
Casual diction that makes the song more relatable; we feel like she is talking to us as friends
I'll see the veins of my city like they do in space
Personification to show she loves her town the way you love a person; simile to create a clear image of her view from the plane
But my head's filling up fast with the wicked games, up in flames How can I fuck with the fun again, when I'm known?
Rhetorical question; she knows she will never be normal again but still searches for a reason 
And my boys trip me up with their heads again, loving them Everything's cool when we're all in line, for the throne
Similar syntax that functions as a periodic sentence- the pauses make her final declarations more dramatic and prominent
But I know it's not forever (yeah) 
More vague diction- she never tells us what “it” is. Also brings back the idea of “forever”
[Bridge] It looked alright in the pictures Getting caught's half of the trip though, isn't it?
Rhetorical question that establishes her smugness and admits that she loves the thrill of getting in trouble
I fall apart, with all my heart
Sad diction said with a cocky tone that makes it unclear how Lorde really feels; contributes to the feeling that Tennis Court is about Lorde unravelling
And you can watch from your window And you can watch from your window 
The “window” is a symbol for the lives of famous people- Lorde is telling us that we can watch what she does through our windows but we won’t be let into her metaphorical “room”
0 notes