mianmian gets to the lan sect lectures, discovers very quickly that every one of her peers has decided to use this time to figure out how quickly they can get into bed with someone of the opposite sex, and decides almost immediately that she has to pick a suitably unattainable guy to have a crush on.
the thing is, mianmian is lanling jinâs head disciple. she is capable, intelligent, and very very gay. the last of these things she isnât exactly keen on telling people yet for a variety of reasons up to and including jin zixuan will be so awkward and stubbornly supportive about it and she doesnât know how to deal with that yet
so when her friends giggle over the other young masters and finally turn to mianmian-- whoâs trying to memorize at least some of the fifty-thousand rules before their quiz tomorrow--and they ask her, âwho do you like, mianmian?â she says the name that she carefully picked out of a handful of options.
âlan-er-gongzi,â she says, without looking up from her textbook, and she assumes that will be the end of it.Â
lan wangji is both incredibly attractive and unrelentingly resistant to all attempts to flirt with him. she, like half the other female cultivators, can moon over him (or pretend to moon over him) all they want and nothing will come of it. itâs perfect. sheâs a genius. the worst sheâll have to do now is pretend to be infatuated with him when her friends start gossiping. itâs fool proof.
spoiler: itâs not
itâs not, no, because her friends are horrible and immediately start gossiping about it to everyone, and usually mianmian wouldnât care but then jin zixuan finds out. jin zixuan, whose marriage complex is being brought to center stage with the forced proximity to his bride-to-be. jin zixuan, who for some reason decided he has to live his stolen crush-addled youth vicariously through his only real friend that isnât related to him. jin zixuan, who for some godforsaken reason takes it upon himself to contrive situations for mianmian and lan wangji to be alone together incessantly.
it unfortunately takes mianmian longer than she would like to figure out whatâs happening. sheâd give herself a break for it-- she was being responsible and studying, thank you very much-- but she doesnât have much sympathy for her own stupidity seeing as sheâs currently locked in a section of the lan library with the second jade of lan
and suddenly, suddenly sheâs just so fucking tired. of studying, yeah, the tests here are brutal and thereâs no one to bribe to make sure she doesnât lose points on stupid things, but also tired of lying to the people she loves and tired of training this hard and being an amazing cultivator only for people to care more about her eventual marriage-- to a man of all things!-- and also, letâs be real here, sheâs been in lectures with beautiful capable intelligent women for like months and sheâs losing her gay ass mind
and so maybe, possibly, as sheâs locked in a library with a clearly confused and annoyed second jade of lan she kind of, momentarily, loses it and rants all of this at his steadily widening eyes
at the end of it, she realizes with no small amount of panic that sheâs just confessed not only her attraction to women but the fact that sheâs been letting wen qingâs ears of all things distract her from her studies. if anything, sheâs sure lan wangji will fault her for inattention
but the second jade of lan, after a drawn-out moment filled only with mianmianâs labored breathing and rising panic, simply says, âi understand.â
mianmian stops. she squints. she tilts her head. she squints some more. lan wangjiâs ears go pink and just like that she realizes --Â âyouâre a cut-sleeve.â
lan wangjiâs ears go even pinker. he doesnât nod, or agree, or outwardly react in any way, but mianmian is a capable, intelligent cultivator, and sheâs sure of it.
mianmian sighs with a relief she didnât know she could feel. âthank the gods.â
lan wangji doesnât seem to know what to make of this response, or mianmianâs increasingly frequent trips to the library following their conversation, or mianmianâs staunch determination to befriend the guy, but thatâs alright. mianmian is old hat at befriending awkward sect heirs by this point.
itâs not like lan wangji expressed any desire for her friendship, but the prospect of not being the only one with absolutely no interest in the straight shenanigans happening at gusu lan summer camp is enough to let mianmian ignore his obvious confusion. lan wangji is a great listener and only sometimes blushes when mianmian waxes poetic about the beautiful women sheâs forced to surround herself with every day
âno but you donât understand,â mianmian insists, alone in the library with lan wangji, âjiang-guniang asked me to help her with a sword form. i put my hands on her waist. i said something idiotic bc she was so pretty and right there and then she laughed. lan wangji. iâm in love.â
âyesterday you were in love with wen-guniang,â lan wangji says as he impassively turns a page in his book. âhas this changed?â
âno, iâm in love with both of them. all of them. lan wangji. theyâre all so pretty all the time. itâs horrible.â
lan wangji presses his lips into a firmer line, which mianmianâs come to understand means heâs repressing a smile. âiâm sorry to hear it brings luo-guniang such trouble.â
mianmian groans, fairly undignified, but thatâs a lost cause with lan wangji at this point anyway. âi swear, if jin zixuan says one more bad thing about her iâm going to punch him and marry her myself.â
lan wangji says, âmn,â which mianmian takes to mean that he supports her in this line of thinking, which she finds both quite sweet and ridiculously funny.
grinning, she teases, âlan-er-gongzi, if i do end up marrying jiang-guniang, will you bear witness to our elopement?â
lan wangjiâs lips press again, this time in the way that means heâs repressing a frown. âjiang-guniangâs brothers wouldnât allow for an elopement,â he says.
mianmian huffs. âas if yunmeng or lanling will deign to host our wedding.â
lan wangji appears to ponder this for a moment before he says, âgusu will host it,â and itâs at that moment that mianmian realizes sheâs actually gone and fucking befriended the second jade of lan.
what is her life.
of course, itâs not long after that that she goes to find jin zixuan and explain that she canât make their weekly sparring match today because she has plans with lan wangji (jiang yanli tenderly brushed some of mianmianâs hair away from her forehead while they were working on sword forms and if mianmian doesnât tell someone about it sheâs literally going to explode) and sheâs trying to be as polite as possible only for jin zixuan to scoff and pout (âi donât poutâ) and say, âi never took you for one of those women who throw themselves so wantonly at a manâ
itâs only for having been friends with this absolutely horrible communicator for most of her life that she doesnât immediately punch him in the face. âwhat did you just say to me,â she demands, but jin zixuan just sets his jaw and looks away, flushing down his neck in the way his mother describes as unbecoming and--
and mianmian suddenly realizes that her ridiculous best friend is jealous of lan wangji.Â
(in a friend way, of course, heâs like her brother, the one time his mother implied that he ought not get too close to women in case it jeopardizes his betrothal to jiang yanli, he insisted he didnât have any female friends repeatedly as his mother delicately danced around outright saying mianmianâs name until finally she broke and jin zixuan was basically like huh?? mianmian doesnât count?? she made me eat dirt like six times when we were kids)
the sheer ridiculousness of jin zixuan, to set her up with a guy and then get jealous when she spends all her time with him
and fuck her, but she loves her stupid awkward ridiculous sect heir best friend and she doesnât want him to think sheâs gone and left him for someone else (gods know jin zixuanâs loyalty complex rivals his marriage one (on second thought the two might be connected)) and so, after making a few quick decisions, mianmian grabs her stupid best friend by the wrist and pulls him to the library
he protests all the way there, but heâs been letting her drag him wherever she wants since they were five and it isnât as if heâs going to break the pattern now. she drags him to the library and sits him down across a startled lan wangji and then finally breaks and gushes about jiang-guniangâs fingertips brushing her forehead and doesnât look at jin zixuan once the whole time
lan wangji, on the other hand, sends jin zixuan frequent glances, as if worried on mianmianâs behalf, which is super sweet and also how the fuck did mianmian get two awkward sect heirs to care about her platonically wtf. she spares a thought for her poor auntie, who wouldâve loved to have a sect heir care about her niece in much less platonic ways.
at the end of mianmianâs rant, jin zixuan is blinking quite a lot. âyou like women?â he asks. heâs always been a bit slow on the uptake. mianmian nods. âyou like jiang-guniang?â
mianmian shrugs. âmore or less. sheâs just really pretty and iâm dying about it. itâs fine.â
lan wangji says, âmn,â sympathetically and jin zixuan continues to gape.
mianmian winces. âyouâre not going to be weird about this, are you?â
jin zixuan shakes his head quickly. âno, no-- of course not, i--you know that i--youâre my best friend, i donât care--what does it matter to me, who you want to--to touch your hair.â
itâs probably the most awkward sentence heâs said to her in years, but possibly more articulate than sheâd been expecting. it makes her tear up regardless and she punches him in the shoulder to hide it, and thatâs basically how the three of them start hanging out in the library nearly every day after lecture.
sometimes they go to the sparring ground, bc whoâs better sparring practice than the second jade of lan? and sometimes (once or twice) mianmian manages to convince lan wangji to join her and jin zixuan for lunch in caiyi town when they donât have lecture, but mostly they meet in a secluded part of the library where mianmian can rant about how pretty all the women at lectures are, jin zixuan can turn pink whenever she mentions jiang-guniang, and lan wangji can âmnâ and nod sympathetically at all the right parts
and mianmian thinks thatâs going to be the end of it, theyâre just going to be friends now and everything else will move on as usual, bc by some ridiculous trick of fate lan wangji and jin zixuan seem to like each other. which makes sense in hindsight bc theyâre both awkward sect heirs who care about cultivation and people a lot even if theyâre not great at showing itÂ
(and heâd never say it but mianmian thinks jin zixuanâs easy acceptance of her liking women is probably the first time lan wangjiâs ever seen someone accept that kind of thing before (maybe, possibly, other than his brother, lan xichen seems really cool, even if he does smile kind of intensely at mianmian whenever he happens upon her hanging out with his little brother.))
so theyâre friends, theyâre unexpected friends, and sometimes lan wangji even makes jokes in that dry deadpan way of his and sometimes jin zixuan doesnât completely trip over his own words and manages to act like a normal human being and mianmian gets two idiots to care about and a perfect place to vent her womanly frustrations, and she thinks thatâs the end of it and then wei wuxian accosts her after lectures one day
âdo you like lan zhan?â he asks accusingly, eyes narrowed to slits. âwhat am i even asking, of course you like lan zhan, but do you like-like him?â
mianmian thinks sadly to herself that sheâs much too into women to be dealing with all these menâs emotional problems. âlan wangji is my friend,â she says, carefully sidestepping wei wuxian, who continues to squint at her suspiciously. really, heâd been amusing when he flirted with her, but this? this is just ridiculous.
âdoes he know that?â wei wuxian asks. âbecause if he doesnât, thatâs just leading him on, and itâs really not nice to--â
âlan wangji knows weâre friends,â she says, trying to enunciate to get her point across clearly. âyou can ask him, if you donât believe me.â
wei wuxian squints a moment longer before he turns and flounces off. mianmian thinks this is the end of it until sheâs accosted again after dinner with, âhe said you were friends!â
for some reason, wei wuxian seems even more troubled by this than earlier. mianmian tries to suppress her eyeroll. âi told you he would?â
âbut how,â wei wuxian says, suddenly whining. âiâve been trying to be his friend for months and he refuses to acknowledge me.â
oh, mianmian realizes with a quickly dawning horror. she and lan wangji are not the only cut-sleeves at cloud recesses this summer. (she has suspicions, of course, but no confirmations on any of the others, but this. wow.)
she also realizes, decides really, that she has enough repressed sect heirs in her life and she cannot deal with wei wuxianâs cut-sleeve crisis or his evidently large attachment to lan wangji right now. she turns decisively and walks the fuck away. not her problem.
the lectures end eventually, of course, and mianmian and jin zixuan return to lanling with a horde of golden robed disciples, freshly deflowered and not all together more learned. itâs what, she thinks grimly, their sect leader would want.
the first few weeks go by and she realizes that sheâs missed unloading about her frequent and fast falling-in-loves. jin zixuan just doesnât sympathize right, bless him, and so mianmian takes to writing letters. she sends two without receiving a reply and just starts to write the third when a letter with the gusu symbol is delivered to her room.
sheâs almost expecting to find a single mn written on the page-- she wouldâve been delighted with just that, actually, the sheer hilarity of such a thing-- but instead she finds several pages filled with lan wangjiâs perfect calligraphy.
itâs more than heâs ever spoken out loud, but it seems that propriety dictated that he return mianmianâs extensive letter with one of his own and heâs done so admirably. he responds to the events mianmian detailed in her letters-- most succinctly summarized as, woman are gorgeous and iâm dying-- and then writes about his own life in cloud recesses. apparently, he went on a little night hunt with wei wuxian and also nie huaisang and jiang cheng were involved? seriously, mianmian misses out on all the fun.
heâs also apparently taken in some rabbits, which mianmian immediately decides she needs to see. lan wangji, sitting prim and proper, with a bunch of rabbits in his lap? amazing. wei wuxian would die on sight, sheâs sure of it.
he also ends his letter with a warning about qishan wen that has mianmian frowning. she takes it to jin zixuan who reads the paragraph and frowns. âiâll talk to my father about it,â he says, which she can tell by his hunched shoulders he doesnât expect to do much.
âtalk to your fatherâs general too,â she suggests, because that man at least thinks with his head and not his dick.
jin zixuan nods but doesnât hand back the letter. he skims it instead with a barely concealed surprise at lan wangjiâs previously hidden expansive vocabulary. mianmian snorts and grabs the letter back. âyou can write to him yourself, you know.â
jin zixuan flushes down his neck. âi know!â he insists and then turns and runs away because heâs a coward. mianmian shakes her head, smiling. what an idiot.
still, another week goes by and a letter arrives from gusu and, when mianmian takes it, assuming itâs for her, she finds it addressed to jin zixuan in lan wangjiâs impeccable calligraphy and she grins to herself like an idiot. look at jin zixuan, making friends
(she suddenly understands why lan xichen gave her all those intense smiles during the lan lectures)
they go on in this way, writing letters to lan wangji from lanling. sometimes mianmian steals jin zixuanâs letters before he sends them so she can squeeze in some ranting in the post script without wasting a whole second thing of paper, and lan wangji replies dutifully, more verbose than he ever was in person, and itâs nice okay, like. she and jin zixuan have been best friends since they were kids but neither of them has ever been any good at listening and lan wangji is just so honest and earnest in everything, like they didnât realize that people outside of lanling were actually not always plotting your downfall??? who woulda thunk
and then of course the wens go and ruin everything. they go to the wen lectures bc jin guangshan doesnât want to âanger our trading partnerâ like the guy isnât obviously going to burn carp tower to the ground the first chance he gets, and mostly mianmian and jin zixuan are just vaguely annoyed and put out about it
then lan wangji shows up with a broken leg and a burned sect and they are ready to murder some dudes
after years of breaking in and out of carp tower she and jin zixuan are old hats at this breaking and entering stuff and they manage to sneak into lan wangjiâs guest quarters and tend to his wounds, ignoring all his silent glares and ranting furiously about how theyâre going to murder wen chao by making him choke on his own dick (mianmian) and how theyâre going to war with the wen sect even if he has to threaten his father with acknowledging all of his bastards as proper siblings in public to do it (jin zixuan)
lan wangji just says âmnâ and makes various muted, distressed expressions, but mianmian thinks heâs touched.
âare your brother and uncle alright?â she asks, when sheâs set his broken leg and forced pain medication down his throat.
âbrother escaped with our sacred texts,â lan wangji says. âuncle is... unwell.â
mianmian knows lan wangji hates touch but the way he says it, with this horrible little frown, emoting more than sheâs ever seen him, his barely suppressed anger and grief literally making his hands shake into fists, mianmian canât help it, she hugs him. âweâll make them pay,â she swears into his shoulder, ruining the lines of his robes with how she clutches at them. âi promise you.â
jin zixuan awkwardly pats lan wangjiâs shoulder, which is a lot for him and mianmian spares a moment to be proud of his growth.
unfortunately, wen chao seems to delight in torturing lan wangji on his injured leg and lan wangji refuses to show weakness, which both impresses mianmian and pisses her the fuck off. she approaches wen qing (and her still gorgeous ears, sigh) and asks her to tend to lan wangji, since sheâs like actually a doctor. wen qing does bc sheâs beautiful, intelligent, and kind and mianmian spends most of that night sighing deeply as she relates this to a significantly drugged lan wangji
the cave of the xuanwu goes about the same as youâd expect. wei wuxian saving her from getting her face branded off is pretty rad of him, though he couldâve just like knocked the brand away instead of throwing himself in front of it but whatever, you do you boo. when lan wangji gets left behind the two of them donât even have to wait for jiang cheng to grumble and ask for their help, theyâre already on their way to carp tower for an army, thank you very much
when they rescue wei wuxian and lan wangji and lan wangji immediately turns to walk back to cloud recesses on a broken leg mianmian says, âfuck no, thatâs not happening, youâre getting medical attention and then someone will fly you back home, okay, wtf wangji, sit down.â
and lan wangji is a stubborn bitch so obvs heâs like no but heâs also severely starved, dehydrated, and injured, so itâs not like he can just shake off mianmian holding him down and this goes on long enough for wei wuxian to wake up and see mianmian touching lan wangji, and something in his poor little brain just like breaks and he demands says, âlan zhan, come back to lotus pier with us.â
his argument, as he explains it, is that lotus pier is closer (itâs not; theyâre just as close to carp tower as lotus pier) and that itâs closer to gusu for when lan wangji has to return home (itâs not; same deal) but then jiang cheng starts yelling, possibly in support possibly not mianmianâs not sure, and jin zixuan starts getting awkward, probably about the whole golden army behind him bc heâs a nerd and hates being overdressed at functions (this is basically the same thing), and mianmian looks at lan wangji and she sees--
something. she isnât sure what exactly, but lan wangji looks at wei wuxian as he argues with his brother and he presses his lips into a thin line in the way that means he wants to smile and mianmian thinks, oh. maybe wei wuxian isnât completely unrequited in his lan wangji obsession.
growing up in lanling, she knows how to use information to her advantage, so she immediately says, âyoung masters wei and jiang, what a great idea. lanlingâs disciples would be pleased to accompany you and second young master lan to lotus pier to ensure everyoneâs safe arrival.â
everyone splutters, indignant, confused, awkward (jiang cheng, wei wuxian, and jin zixuan, respectively) but lan wangji narrows his eyes at mianmian and doesnât try to convince her to let him walk to gusu again, so she counts it as a win.
sect leader jiang and his wife seem surprised and annoyed, respectively, to be taking in so many guests, but sect leader jiang merely smiles pleasantly and directs them to some guest quarters and mianmian and wei wuxian ask, simultaneously, for doctors to tend to lan wangji and wei wuxian makes a face at her and mianmian sighs to herself that she really is too gay to be in the middle of his thing with lan wangji.
turns out, walking a lot and fighting a cannibalistic turtle on a broken leg doesnât do wonders for healing. lan wangji is also the worst patient ever, he keeps trying to sneak out and get up even though word came from his brother that heâs safe and alright and that cloud recesses is starting to rebuild after qinghe nie and lanling jin came to its aid and pushed out the wen
but with the combined efforts of mianmian, jin zixuan, and wei wuxian (and even jiang yanli at one point, bc who could say no to her soup??) they manage to get lan wangji to just rest for a fucking second, really which results in the jin disciples and lan wangji staying in lotus pier for longer than anyone couldâve expected
mianmian spends most of her time (when she isnât forcing lan wangji to just fucking stay in bed) working with the jiang disciples, practicing archery, sword forms, and mooning after all the beautiful women here.
(âlan wangji, i know sheâs scary, but have you seen madam yu? she could whip me with zidian and iâd thank herâ âluo-guniang, please donât ask madam yu to whip youâ OR âlan wangji, iâm almost positive madam yuâs maids are a thing, do you think theyâd let me join them just like onceâ âluo-guniang, could you please pass me my sword?â âwhyâ âiâd like to put myself out of this miseryâ OR âshe made me soup. lan wangji. lan wangji, i know youâre not sleeping, wake up, you have to listen to me, this soupâ)
they end up staying so long that when wang lingjiao shows up threatening a child about a kite while sect leader jiang is away, she has a lot more to deal with than madam yu. since none of this had been a âsanctioned visitâ no one actually knew that there was nearly an entire troop of jin disciples staying at lotus pier, so when the wens attack they are sorely unprepared for what theyâre going to face.
(and ofc lan wangji breaks out of bed heroically and keeps madam yu from whipping wei wuxian, which means they arenât down one of their most powerful fighters and mianmian has to suffer through the moon eyes theyâre making at one another in the middle of a battle no less, she knew wei wuxian had no shame but sheâd been hoping lan wangji would have some)
after the wen attack (and defeat) on lotus pier and the jinâs inarguable part in it, the war starts in earnest. lan wangji, after his long rest, heals fine and goes back to gusu to help rebuild his sect and plan for war, and mianmian and jin zixuan return to carp tower to plan as well, ignoring jin guangshan and focusing instead on his general to ensure lanling supplies necessary aid in the war effort
and war is always shitty, of course, and mianmian hates watching her sect family die on the battlefield, hates waiting for updates after every battle to see whoâs still alive, hates the politics and jin guangshan trying to wheedle his way out of fighting when thereâs fucking lives on the line
(and she could never know, how much easier it is, with yunmeng jiang at its full strength, with one of the brightest minds of their generation there to plot and help, with two of the best fighters not out searching for someone and instead focused on the front)
they reach nightless city after months of fighting and mianmian is ready to just fucking stab wen ruohan herself when theyâre suddenly trapped. blocked in on all sides by puppets, their fallen soldiers rising again to turn on them, and it--it looks like theyâre gonna die.
âthis sucks,â she says to lan wangji, stifling her fear and choking it down. âi never even got to kiss a girl.â
lan wangji just says âmn.â
jin zixuan, beside them, says, âi was an idiot about jiang-guniang.â
lan wangji just says, âmn.â
then wei wuxian pulls out a fucking flute and a-- floating piece of metal? the army of puppets and corpses stops advancing, held in place by-- music, apparently? and wen ruohan emerges from his lair, black energy falling off him in waves, wei wuxian the idiot flies forward to meet him, gets wen ruohanâs hand around his throat for his trouble.
lan wangji yells, âwei ying!â and mianmian thinks, really not fair that lan wangji is gonna get a boyfriend before i get a girlfriend
and then wen ruohan gets stabbed by jin zixuanâs half brother of all people. wen ruohan, along with his puppets and wei wuxian, fall to the ground. lan wangji rushes forward to catch wei wuxian, mianmian runs after him, finds herself in company with jin zixuan and jiang cheng. when they get there, wei wuxian is barely conscious but heâs-- heâs fucking grinning up at lan wangji from the cradle of lan wangjiâs arms
âlan zhan,â he says, âyou caught me.â
lan wangji nods, says, âmn,â which is basically his equivalent of iâll always catch you, wei ying.
âreally,â mianmian says aloud, âitâs so unfair.â
the aftermath of the war is more annoying than the war itself, what with all the politics and in-fighting and jin guangshan trying to be the biggest dick there ever was. jin guangshan tries to name himself chief cultivator in wen ruohanâs stead but nie mingjue suggests jiang fengmian instead and the lan sect backs him. jin guangshan tries to demonize the wens but at wei wuxianâs loud rebuttal and sect leader jiangâs backing (which is then backed by both gusu lan and qinghe nie) heâs once again shouted down. and then jin guangshan tries to propose to jiang-guniang for his son and the poor woman just seems so awkward and her father doesnât seem to know what to say and--
mianmian elbows jin zixuan whose eyes widen ridiculously but, after another, harder hit, he suddenly stands. all eyes go to him, which mianmian knows he hates, but he bows to his father, then jiang yanli, and says, âjiang-guniang, forgive my fatherâs impertinence. this is not the time or place to be making such an offer, but he--â jin zixuan winces visibly. â--he knows of my feelings and wishes to make his foolish son happy. please, do not feel the need to respond.â
then he promptly sits down, flushing down to his neck, and mianmian shares a disbelieving glance with lan wangji from across the horrible nightless city palace room.
sheâd really only meant for him to suggest jiang yanli answer privately, at a later time, but wow, jin zixuan really went for it. also no way jin guangshan knows his son has fallen in love with jiang yanli, so nice save face there. maybe he has been paying attention in all of their etiquette and political espionage classes.
jiang yanli flushes way prettier than jin zixuan and nods politely, stands and bows and thanks the jin clan for being considerate in this time of turmoil, perhaps they can discuss this matter at a later date (jin zixuan looks like he nearly faints at this, and mianmian feels vindicated in all her forlorn ranting. overreacting her ass)
when everything has been settled, wen qing has been appointed the new sect leader of qishan wen with promises to return land to those who lost it and pay reparations to the hurt civilians, as well as have the yin iron destroyed for good. during the final ceremony where all the sects have tea and pledge to be loyal to one another (until the next great war, of course) mianmian leans close to lan wangji and sighs, âher ears look even lovelier with her hair tied back by her new sect leader hairpiece.â
lan wangji says âmnâ because heâs a cut sleeve in love with wei wuxian and has nothing even closely resembling taste.
mianmian, on her own, decides to make them both happy. before the jin clan departs from nightless city, she goes up to wei wuxian and asks for a moment of his time. wei wuxian seems confused but follows and, once theyâre alone, he says, âmianmian, are you about to get me into bed, because i must tell you that i am a respectable young cultivator and youâll need to marry me before--â
mianmian gives him her best unimpressed look (sheâs had much practice with it, thank you jin zixuan) and cuts him off with, âi like women.âÂ
wei wuxianâs eyes go wide. âbut you and lan zhan--â
she cuts him off again before he can say something so stupid she has to stop talking to him to refrain from breaking all laws of propriety. âlook,â she says, âyouâre friends with wen qing. now that sheâs sect leader, your brother canât go after her. i, on the other hand, very much can. if you promise to figure out a way for me and her to get close, iâll tell you a secret youâll like very much.â
wei wuxian seems hesitant for all of half a second before he breaks. âtell me.â
âdo you promise?â
wei wuxian raises three fingers. âpromise.â
âon your sisterâs life?â
begrudgingly, wei wuxian nods.
âon her soup?â
âjust get on with it!â
mianmian smirks, pushes onto her tiptoes, and whispers the secret into wei wuxianâs ear. with that, she returns to the pavilion where all the sects mingle as they wait to depart, wei wuxian trailing behind her in a daze, his mouth hanging open.
lan wangji, who had been watching since mianmian asked wei wuxian for a moment to talk, frowns nearly imperceptibly. mianmian grins at him and his frown grows.
ah, whatever. she walks over to him, unbothered by the quickly growing alarm in his eyes. once next to him, she turns around to see wei wuxian staring unabashedly. her smile only widens.
âyouâre going to thank me for this,â she says.
wei wuxian shakes himself, his eyes focusing, and immediately starts walking towards them.
lan wangji, voice flat but wavering, asks, âluo-guniang, what did you do?â
mianmian laughs, says, âi get to give a speech at your wedding,â and walks away just as wei wuxian reaches them.
(she does, actually, give a speech at their wedding. she may or may not be drunk during it, jin zixuan gets embarrassed for her, and she starts tearing up and has to hide it in the shoulder of her wifeâs lovely well-tailored robes. itâs alright, though, wen qing doesnât mind)
EDIT: now on AO3 with a real fic version from lwjâs pov!
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the best parts of the dream thieves (featuring me crying pt. 2)
part one
- âRonan was everything that was left: molten eyes and a smile made for warâÂ
- Ronanâs second secret #gay
- Gansey: âi would have thought you had more muscles. Donât feminist have big muscles?â i just want to punch him can someone please punch him
- gansey calling ronan an incredible creature #gayÂ
-Â âThe elderly made ronan anxiousâ bitch me too!!!
- Ronan wanting to race kavinsky in the pig and adam is like dude no there is like 5 people in here we weigh too much and ronan goes: ânoah doesnât countâ âHey!â âYouâre dead!â i love these nerds
- Gansey: âam I in your dreams?â Ronan:Â âOh yes, babyâ i hate him jsjksksk
-Â âRonan sometimes dreamt of Adam, tooâ #gay
- Gansey and Ronan going to get orange juice at 3:32 amÂ
- âUnlike some people, my sense of worth isnât tied into my occupation.â âOoooooh,â Orla crowed⊠she traded her Henrietta accent for a gloriously snotty version of the Old South. âSomeoneâs been hanging out with Richard Campbell Gansey the third too much.â orla just came for blueâs life holy shitÂ
- âJane!â âItâs a wizard in box.â âIt will do your homework.â âAnd itâs been dating your girlfriend.â âAre you all drunk?â hey quick question wtf am i reading
- âWhy is the tea so good here?â âI spit in itâ Blue Sargent is an icon
âBlue Sargent was pretty in a way that was physically painful to him. He was attracted to her like a heart attack.â not to sound like a cheesy white lady or anything but this shit breathtaking bro
- âWhat do you want, Adam? What do you need, Adam?⊠Freedom, autonomy, a perennial bank balance, a stainless steel condo in a dustless city, a silky black car, to make out with Blue, eight hours of sleep, a cell phone, a bed, to kiss Blue just once, a blister-less heel, bacon for breakfast, to hold Blueâs hand, one hour of sleep, toilet paper, deodorant, a soda, a minute to close his eyes. What do you want, Adam? To feel awake when my eyes are open.â PROTECT THIS ANGEL GET HIM SOME TOILET PAPER WTF (also notice how what he wants continues to drop in difficulty to acquire this is so sad iâm literally a mess)Â
- âYou be careful, Adam Parrish. âCause one day you might get what you ask for. There might be girls in Henrietta whoâll let you talk to them like that, but iâm not one of them.â i really love this woman
-Â âHe [Gansey] was bare-legged and sockless in his Top-Siders and very clearly a real human, an attainable human, and this, somehow, made Ronan want to smash his fist through a wallâ #gay
-  âAdam thinks he saw an apparition at his placeâ Ronan eyed Noah, âIâm seeing an apparition right now.â this entire relationship is just ronan roasting noah have you ever seen anything so pure
- Noah freaking out about the glitter in the snowglobe #angel
- Ronan paying Adamâs rent i am alive
- Gansey comparing Blue to a platypus
- âHe threw me out the window!â âYouâre already dead!â amazing
- Blue wanting to get Adam high so he can relax seriously someone let this boy take a nap
- Noah: âIs crack the same thing as speed?âÂ
- Ashley not going into St. Agnes bc she ârefuses to participate in a ceremony that doesnât allow equal spiritual privileges to womenâ  NICE
- Ronan dreaming kavinsky a replica of his white sunglasses after kavinsky gave him a copy of ronanâs leather bands #pettygay
-Â âand he was the boy with the most beautifully interesting car and the most savagely handsome of friends, Ronan Lynchâ #gay
- Gansey: âI love this car. I should buy four more of them. Iâll just open the door of one and fall into the other. One can be a living room, one can be by kitchen, Iâll live in oneâŠâ what...the fuck
- Declan coming to give gansey a new battery for the pig and Ronan actually doing the mostâąÂ âHe hurriedly sprawled back in the seat, throwing one jean-covered leg over the top of Adamâs and laying his head in a posture of thoughtless abandon. By the time Declan arrived, Ronan looked as if he had been asleep for days.â this is so extra omfgggg
- âHis [Declanâs] gaze followed his brotherâs leg to where it rested on top of Adamâs, and his expression tightened.â dude ronan even your brother is noticing your crush u gotta do better
- Gansey thinking that Ronan tried to kill himself after all this time and then finding out that Ronan was attacked by a dream demon thing #shook
- Gansey and Ronan fighting a different dream demon thing with a box cutter and a crowbar how are these children aliveÂ
-Â âShe [Blue] wore a dress Ronan thought looked like a lampshade. Whatever sort of lamp it belonged on, Gansey clearly wished he had one. Ronan wasnât a fan of lamps.â This is the least subtle homosexuality metaphor i have ever read in my life (also: Gansey crushing on Blue #nice)
- refer to this postÂ
-Â âLetâs just go on before Gansey has time to say something that makes me hate himâ lmao
- âThe air was stained permanently with the pleasant odor of Ronanâs childhood: hickory smoke and boxwood, grass and seed and lemon cleaner. âI remember,â Gansey said thoughtfully to Ronan, âwhen you used to smell like thisââ #gay
- Dream toaster
-Â âI am being perfectly fucking civilâ #iconic
-Â âDonât fucking swearâ #iconic pt 2
- Calla preforming arial yoga through the continuation of Ronanâs readingÂ
- The entire time they are on the boat adam and gansey have the biggest hard-ons for orla and blue wants to die/kill them and ronan is disgustedÂ
- ronan complains about the heat like 600 times i love my dramatic son
- Gansey finding the skin of blueâs calf more âtantalizingâ than orlaâs entire torso boiiiii if u dont get!!!!!
-Â âBlue cheerfully spit a mouthful of brown water on his boat shoes.â sheâs doing godâs work
-Â âHe was struck by what a glorious and fearless animal Blue Sargent was.â Iâm emo
-Â âGansey, pacing next to his ruined miniature Henrietta, set his eyes on Ronan. There was something intense and heedless in them. There were many versions of Gansey, but this one had been rare since the introduction of Adamâs taming presence.â The fact that adam calms gansey down is so pure and i cannot believe this is canon (also: blue also calms gansey down... i love my bisexual son)
- Gansey being badass asf when him and ronan go to confront kavinsky about breaking in the apartment and ronan going super heart-eyesÂ
- also i am convinced that this scene is dickâs bi awakening
- ââŠGansey leaving for D.C. without him was unbearable. They had been a two-headed creature for so long, Ronan-and-Gansey. He couldnât say it, though. There were a thousand reasonâs why he couldnât say itâ #GAY
-Â âWhile iâm gone, dream me the world. Something new for every night.â #REALLYGAY
- no one in fox way can work a cellphone maura literally had to get blue to make the gray manâs voicemail work
- Ronan blowing a kiss to gansey and adam when they are flying away in the helicopter i fucking hate him jsjsjs
- Helen asking if Adam wants to go into the whole foods with her and adam just stares at her. me too buddy
-Â ââPigmy Pouters. Feisty ones!â Gansey mouthed Blue at Adam. Adam let out a little wail of helpless laughter.â adam parrish laughing: a concept
- Â Blue finally admitting to herself that she likes Gansey while laying in his bed
- âIâd ask you out, if i was aliveâ âiâd say yesâ :(((((
- the fact that adamâs dad actually pushed my manz down the stairs at one point i will personally fight robert parrish
-Â âThis is Adam Parrish. Shake his hand. Heâs more clever than I am. One day weâll be throwing one of these shindigs for him.â MY HEART
- Adam literally filling up a whole page describing helen #bi
- when helen asks why ronan wasnât with them, adam and gansey both get the mental image of the house burning down lmao
-Â âyou gonna race with those shades on, you Bulgarian mobster Jersey trash piece of shit?â heâs so elegant with words!!!1111!!!
- Ronan thinking Kavinsky is beautiful um this is gross but #gayÂ
- Gansey calling Blue to calm him down just because she makes him feel âuneven and shatteredâ im fucking emo
- Kavinsky calling gansey literally anything BUT his name: âDick threeâ âdick dick dickâ âDickieâ
- Ronan figuring out how to master his dreams and then leaving kavinsky #scammer
- to be honest i cannot believe helen and gansey managed to convince adam about the hondoyota with the literal SKIT they usedÂ
- âHEY, OLD MAN!â âRonan!â ANGELS
- ronan apologizing for wrecking the pig and Gansey actually not believing his ears.
- âHey, Churchill tried to negotiate with hitler.â âDid he?â donât argue with boat shoe about history this man will rip you to shreds
- pink switchblade
-Â âTimes circular, chickenâ
- BLUE GOING OFF ON ADAM IM JUST ABOUT TO QUOTE THE WHOLE ROAST
- THE WHOLE ROAST: âPolitics! I have no interest. Voting? What? I forgot my apron. I think I ought to be in the kitchen right now, actually. My rolling pin-â âi didnât know that you-â âthats my point! did it even occur to you? You wouldnât have gone someplace without Gansey, though. You two make a grand couple! kiss him! (lmao) Well, i donât want to be just someone to kiss. I want to be a real friend, too. Not just someone whoâs fun to have around because- because I have breast!â GO OFF BITCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Adam calling Blue a raging feminist like do boys not know that this is a complement like yes this is the angle i am going for thanks for noticing
- Gansey and Blueâs first drive together #i #am #emo
-Â âJane, in this light you... Jesus. Jesus. Iâve got to get my head straight.â MURDER ME
- When Adam woke up at fox way after being asleep for 24 hours or whatever he drank four glasses for pomegranate juice and three cups of tea and then left in the span of ten minutes. i know sometimes these kids act like they are 50 years old but....this is a teenage boyÂ
-Â âIt was against Ronanâs nature to appear overly interested in anything.â HES SO EXTRAÂ
- Grey man: âBut it wasnât personal.â Ronan: âIt. Was. To. Me.â :((((((((((( also iâm pretty sure neil josten said the same thing to that police officer one time i love parallels.Â
-Â âwhen ronan thought of gansey, he thought moving into monmouth manufacturing, of nights spent in companionable insomnia, of a summer searching for a king, of gansey asking for the grey man for his life. Brothers.â kill. me.Â
- kavinsky dying #goodshitÂ
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