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juusasu4evagrrl · 1 year

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I’M BACK BITCHES ANDDD I BRING GIFTS!

I originally began writing down this AU last year with plans to send it as an anonymous ask to justsasuke, my all time favorite blog on here, much love to the pioneer of the juusasu ship. But it just got wayyy too long for all that so fingers crossed she sees it anyways. 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽 (unless you hate it and then nvm you saw nothing)

So basically while lying awake at like 11:55 last night my brain went, I bet Juugo would be good at basketball since he’s like so tall, and out of that thought this sexy ass college AU was born.

Okay lets set the scene

Our au starts freshman year at whatever college in whatever big city now lets talk majors and aspirations

Juugo gets in on a basketball scholarship but while he’s good and he kind of enjoys it, he’s not a baller like it’s not life to him. what he’s really pursuing is environmental sciences so he can become like a zoologist or a wildlife biologist or something like that and immerse himself in his true passions. Also he’s like a year or so older. Still a freshmen, just sticking with canon on this one cause it always made sense to me.

Sasuke is studying whatever the fuck he thinks will get him familial brownie points. The thing is he has NO CLUE what he actually wants to study or do. If he was true to himself he’d have taken a gap year to live a little. BUT big bro graduated high school like 2 years early, absolutely demolished running start, and got like three full rides to schools that brought a tear to fugakus eye. So his natural competitive streak and his desire to be seen as capable by Fugagku, coalesce into Sasuke just trying to follow in those footsteps. Now i wont say he’s failing but 1, he don’t even really wanna be there right now and 2, academics are just not his thing. Which sucks cause he doesn’t cope well with being bad at things. If it wasn’t for the super dope and driven friends he’s about to make school life would destroy his mental health, and he’d probably be directionless forever. Im not saying he’s dumb cause i don’t think that. Just that he’s really struggling to apply himself here.

Karin is there cause her creepy rich uncle Orochimaru said he’d pay for her college if she graduated high school, and only with a perfect 4.0 mind you. Our girls a double major. One in business and one in some type of chemistry so that after college she can attend a perfume school become a perfumer and start her own perfume empire the absolute girlboss. Shes the only one who knows exactly what they want to do from the jump. How she balances all this? We can only imagine but it is karin after all, and if anyones doing it it’s her. A woman’s resolve can break through steel after all. 😤

My fave, Suigetsu is also there I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out how it might just have to be a plot hole I FIGURED IT OUT! Orochimaru is his dad hes our nepo baby. (So i guess that makes karin his hardworking cousin the Selena to his Haley if you will) ANYWAYS he’s studying marine engineering cause I guess I’m running out of ideas just shhh if you think really hard about it it kinda makes sense. Ok new thought. He changes his major halfway through to a martial arts studies degree, (this is important cause sasuke is gonna end up here too) with a minor in some sort of nutritionist something. He’s is gonna be a personal trainer i guess and to me, that makes sense. Also my aquarius brother lives and breaths the very mid nightlife at this school.

Scene set

Karin and Sasuke meet first and hit it off in so far as Karin is concerned. Sasuke however is there to get the degree and get out. He don’t want no friends, he didn’t even like the ones he had in high school. Eventually though he learns to tolerate her cause he’s moved seats like 5 times now and she’s found him

every

single

time.

Once past Sasukes initial resistance, they genuinely hit it off pretty quick. They’re both pretty introverted for college students so they have a lot of time to spend together. Sasuke is introverted cause he just is, but karin would be a party girl if she wasn’t so busy. They meet up for lunch and study sessions frequently. Sasuke enjoys the silence in these low key hang outs. Karin enjoys staring at sasuke during breaks in her working and acting ditsy when helping him with whatever he’s working on to make him do that cute little self gratified smirk and to hear his voice turn from quiet and disinterested to proud and engaged when explaining to her how shes wrong. Yes karin still has a crush on sasuke we all do moving on.

Juugo and suigetsu meet next. Kind of, they’re roommates so honestly they met first but whatever. Juugo wanted a single and after meeting Juugo so did Suigetsu. They get on okay but jugo lost interest in building a friendship with Suigestu after coming to find marine engineering ain’t got shit to do with marine biology, and suigestu mostly is just scared of Juugo. help me decide which one is the messy roommate that makes the other one consider requesting a new dorm everyday. (nvm its Juugo he happily lived in cave like duh) Anyway they don’t really start to get along until sasuke comes in the picture. (yes they all bond over their mutual desires to fuck sasuke its very canon compliant in that way)

Sasuke and suigetsu meet next at a party Karin coerced Sasuke into going to with her. At some point Karin fucks off with the girl she went to the party for in the first place, (who is Tayuya of sound5 fame btw) and Sasuke is left alone in the corner to stew in his feelings of betrayal. He didnt want to go in the first place and he only went to sit in the corner with Karin and make fun of peoples stupid try hard attitudes and inability to hold their stupid alcohol. People do try and talk to him but he successfully wards them off with his one word answers and an overall stank demeanor. Until suigetsu finds him and swears to himself that this is the sexiest man he has ever seen, he’s getting into those adidas track pants no matter what, and wow this boy can not dress. Sasukes one word answers and side eyes fall on deaf ears and hungry eyes. Suigetsu has effectively glued himself to Sasukes side and there is nothing Sasuke can do to stand it but keep knocking back the jungle juice. He cant tell which is worse the stupid alcohol or the endlessly talkative twink who keeps dodging his exasperated sighs. He has never enjoyed being talked at, and hes never overindulged in alcohol either (is this realistic I don’t know it sure is fun to imagine 14 year old team7 stealing a little something something someone and getting wasted for the first time together actually yeah lets say that happens but it happens in Sasukes bedroom Fugaku finds out and puts the fear of god in him and then he gets it again from Itachi who is probably who the stuff was stolen from and he learned his lesson didn’t touch booze again until just now) but every time suigetsu speaks he drinks and the night is getting fuzzier and fuzzier. He is a mellow and petulant drunk and one word responses turn into slightly wordier quips and mildly depressing personal anecdotes. Its right about now that Suigetsu is sure this here man is his future husband cause he was giving personalityless but worth a hookup before but now the personality is showing little and Suigetsus loving every slurred moment of it. The only problem is that Sasuke is drunk like drunk drunk he obviously wasnt feeling Suigetsu before and even if he is now (he’s not) there is absolutely zero chance of hooking up with this pretty faced little emo tonight. (pretty faced emo girl stop) So at this point Suigetsus only worries are A.) How am I gonna insure this boy remembers who I am tomorrow? B.) And this is been on his mind since the beginning of the night, how did this literal wet blanket of a man get here and why, like who is even is he? Finally C.) How am I getting outta all this without getting these 600 dollar McQueen sneaks vomited on.

The future husband thing was cute or whatever but Suigetsu must be really smitten to be standing in whoever’s truly nasty bathroom this is cleaning bright red pungent puke off his once shining white sneakers. Sasuke is currently slumped near the toilet staring judgmentally at suigetsus pinkish shoes and mumbling mostly unintelligibly about vanity and precious solitude. Suigetsu thinks the gist of it is probably something to the effect of leave me alone next time and I won’t projectile on your designer but really who is to say. Definitely not Sasuke, Sasuke still can’t (or won’t its difficult to tell with this one) even answer simple questions like what he’s doing here or who he’s here with. It wouldn’t even matter if he could cause karin has been gone for a minute now. Lets not blame her either cause she expected he’d leave 5 minutes after she and Tayuya did and she did text. The worst she’d expected to deal with would be some strongly worded replies or an especially quiet study sesh. Its decided Sasuke is coming back to the shared dorm room barring C all problems are accounted for with the solution.

Woooo that scene was long but its okay cause were meeting Juugo next and getting some would be romantic tension if i knew how to write romantic tension also taka is almost assembled yuhhh!! Prepare for some very poorly paraphrased dialog in apostrophes.

Suigetsu is oddly insistent on walking Sasuke back to his dorm so he’s just a little confused when instead of showing up in quiet lifeless single he enters chaotic double that smells so strongly of febreze and cannabis he can immediately feel an oh my god just open the damn window induced headache coming on. Still feeling woozy and uncharacteristically social from the booze, he’s about to ask whats his name in the mugler turtleneck (the stars on the turtleneck were more engaging to sasuke then anything else going on duh suigetsus gonna name drop the designer yes this is what he remembers lol it don’t make sense IK but its my mission to make Suigetsu as swaged out as is possibly possible) about the window when the door to the dorm busts open and in walks Juugo angry as hell on some

‘Why did you text me about some boy staying over i already said you can not have hookups in here if you wanna slut yourself out to this school your gonna have to get creative cause the boundaries of this dorm situation were set and agreed upon day one this is my sanctuary and smoke spot not your sex dungeon rah rah rah rah’

Its occurring very slowly to Sasuke that he may have gotten himself into an unsavory situation but before he can say anything suigetsu says it for him.

‘oh my god he’s I’m not sleeping with him’

just barely biting back a not tonight at least he continues

‘i met him at Jirobo’s (I’m having so much fun adding in random sound5 characters Kimimaro is still dead tho rip 😔) kickback he wasnt vibing and I cant blame him shit was so dry so since he was drunk off his ass anyways and couldn’t give me any contacts I brought him here to sleep it off so he’ll wake up tomorrow and see me as his savior and then i son’t know we’ll go from there don’t hate cause you cant pull 10s like me Juugo’

Juugo is not hating, he would be cause suigetsu sounds objectively dumb right now, but he just noticed Sasuke. True to cannon his demeanor changes instantly from ready to tussle to totally transfixed as his full attention is focused on staring at a still slightly intoxicated Uchiha Sasuke.

Sasuke has noticed, and is 35% focused on staring back at Juugo who looks like a character out of the real manga and sauke is very appreciative of it, and 65% trying to process what the fuck suigetsu just said. Weather his delay is because of the booze or the baller is, unclear to him. So now its just three dudes in a dirty ass dorm room staring at each other. (😏) Sasuke breaks both the eye contact with Juugo and the silence directing a

‘you did not pull me dumbass you kidnapped me and theres no way im staying here tonight don’t even worry about it Juugo’

straight to Suigetsu.

Suigetsu is so over it by now and he adds up the ruined McQueens plus sasukes continued disinterest to equal a disappointing L and having cast off his soiled kicks he flops down onto his milky white satin sheets back to the room disengaged.

Juugo however could, not be any more the opposite not only does he find sasuke quite nice to look at and would be disappointed to see him go without getting a little social repertoire established. He’s so incredibly shocked that sasuke is still standing upright and albeit slowly engaging with the world around him. He’s pretty sure if he lets him leave he’ll find him passed out on the lobby floor tomorrow morning, so after another minute or so of fondly watching sasuke fumble with the zipper of his plain black jacket he offers a tentative

‘you know what I really don’t care you can stay here tonight its already so late just, yeah just stay.’

‘Yeah you can just like curl up in the mountain of unwashed basketball shorts they smell so amazing’

Suigetsu chimes in sarcastically

‘okay okay and how do you know they smell so bad freak’

juugo shoots back (basketball pun haha)

‘cause i can smell you from here you cretin’

Sasuke stumbles past the bickering and heads for the door completely uninterested in this petty roommate dispute he briefly wonders what happened to his adidas slide while he grabs at his pockets for a minute searching for his phone to call Karin before joining the dispute with a,

‘oh my god dumbass you made me leave my phone in that wasteland bathroom dickhead Im not going back there so either your gonna buy me a new Samsung or-‘

suigetsu cuts him off,

‘you are the absolute worst kind of drunk actually I have your phone right here dummy’

he pulls the phone out of the pocket of his dolce&gabbana cargos (yeah when i said orochimarus rich I meant rich rich designer head to toe the sheets are probably designer bitch) and throws it directly at sasuke

juugo takes this moment to display his sickening basketball skills and intercepts the throw holding the phone above his head he says,

‘look man just stay okay you can have my bed i’ll sleep on the laundry im keeping this right now but you can call your friend in the morning I’m not busy til late tomorrow so i’ll help you find your way out of here if you need to get to a class but your already here so you might as well just stay’

Sasuke doesn’t feel all that much like walking anyways so he turns to juugos sheetless mattress and then to Suigetsu and says

‘give me your bed you bastard you owe me anyways’

suigetsu is not entirely sure why he would owe this bitch anything at all but he takes the opportunity to shoot his final shot,

‘how bout we share’

Sasuke decides to sleep on top of Juugos worse for wear comforter.

Sasuke, having stolen his phone from Juugo on some mission impossible shit, leaves before anybody else wakes up with no intention of ever returning. but since Karin and Tayuya hit it off actually his only friend has less time to spend with him. So he decides to link up with suigetsu and juugo since they’re the only other people he’s said more then 5 words to. Eventually they get tapped into the study seshes when suigetsu essentially invites himself to join much to karins chagrin.

Boom taka assembled.

Alrigttt thats all I wrote. I wanna write more about this au like where everyone comes from and how the relationships proceed from here and the whole thing is supposed to be a juusasu get together moment and we barely even touched on that but we’ll see if i ever get around to that.

Disclaimers: i dont know anything about basketball and i still haven’t gotten my ged so I have not been to college YET 🤪 on the bright side when i do get there ill probably be 21 already and ppl will flock to me for my id privileges 😌 i tried to make this as legible as i possibly could going through, adding punctuation, and removing some of my rambling. But i also left a lot of it in though like the crossed out text, the crazy parentheses notes (which i hope are not too confusing), and all the emojis, and i chose this just so you can really see the way the story just came together randomly and how much fun i was having writing this clusterfuck of shitty college movie cliches.