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givingboysflowers · 1 year

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Meeting and Dating Ryosuke Kawashima

(My gif/don't look at it for longer than three seconds)

- Wallowing in self pity has never been Kawashima’s style. Even when things weren’t going well for him, he never just sat around and thought about how miserable his life was or convinced himself that there was some sort of malevolent god turning his life into a tragedy. He never considered himself particularly lucky but he also didn’t consider himself unlucky: he was a teetering balance of the two like everyone else in the world; though maybe he just never thought about that sort of thing in general.

- His life had always been aggressively ordinary; arguably even a little boring, so the whole “phantom threads of fate and destiny” thing never really crossed his mind. Maybe once or twice in a cute, hopeless romantic or yearning for adventure sort of way but nothing remotely serious. Not until the day he met you, at least.

- You’d been standing in front of the vending machine he typically went to whenever he needed his daily fix of Coke, face half obstructed by your hair as you rummaged through your bag for spare change. He stood a little ways away, patiently waiting his turn and curiously looking you over, wondering if he’s ever seen you around campus before. He comes to the conclusion that he hasn’t around the same time that you let out a sigh and give up on your search, leaning against a wall a little ways away as you seemingly realize you don’t have the money you thought you did.

- The moment he takes your place is the moment he receives his first taste of destiny, an event so weirdly inconsequential yet convenient that he couldn’t help but assume that it was the universes way of telling him to do something; and boy was he glad he did it.

- He fed some money into the machine and blinked in surprise as not one but two metallic thuds rang out in the silence of the hall ...one for him and one for....

- He still hadn't gotten a good look at your face so when he approached you and let out a shy “um” in order to get your attention, he felt as though the wind was knocked from his lungs the minute your eyes met. Your face is a mixture of boredom and beauty and curiosity all in one and if talking to strangers was difficult for him before, right now it was feeling near impossible.

- He holds the can out to you and he prays that you aren’t looking too closely, close enough to notice how his hands are shaking as he extends the soda towards you, giving a brief and stilted explanation. …He thinks he’ll remember the smile that breaks out on your face for the rest of his life....

- Kawashima isn’t great at conversation and if he was anymore quiet than he already was during your first meeting, you’d probably just assume that he didn’t like you and was trying to get out of the interaction as quickly as possible. But, even though he hums and half answers your questions, he always manages to utter out a short sentence to keep you talking whenever there’s a lull in the conversation: all the while wandering and pacing and orbiting around you like you’re his new sun.

- He’s never been as compelled to throw money at a vending machine as he is when you both finally finish your cans. He’s willing to scrounge around campus for spare change like a beggar just to stay in that moment with you and drink another Coke and feel your presence, and he doesn’t care how pathetic that may seem.

- Fortunately for him, he doesn’t have to. You rummage through your bag for the second time that day and you retrieve a scrap of paper and a pen, writing down your number for the awe struck boy and telling him you’ll see him around, feeling a fluttering in your chest while looking at his adorably polite and surprised response.

- Kawashima wastes no time in calling you and it’s honestly sort of endearing how eager he is, not many men are willing to look vaguely desperate but it seems as though the concept of acting cool and nonchalant has never really crossed the boys mind.

- He dials you up later that day after spending a solid thirty minutes contemplating the perfect “excuse”; something related to one of the things you’d talked about: like directions to a place you’d mentioned, something about your major, or one of the hobbies or the bands you’d brought up. The topic might have never even crossed his mind prior to meeting you, but he thinks whatever effort he’ll have to put into this new thing is worth it; particularly if it means being close to you.

- Kawashima is like a bridge when it comes to making first moves in your “relationship”: his actions allow you to make the first move, giving you the ability to decide if you want to brave the distance and get to the other side of whatever step you want to take. He suggests things, hints at them, lets you take the bait and invite yourself along for the ride because he’s far too shy and slow to action to do it himself.

- So maybe he’ll ask what color you think he should paint his walls, or say he doesn’t know any good music shops in town, or say he doesn’t know the first thing about coffee. Regardless, it’s still up to you to ask if you can come over and help, or offer to take him to one, or quiz him about his tastes and let him drive you to a café before class one day.

- Kawashima would probably consider your first date to be the first time you went to his house/the first time he went to yours upon becoming relatively close with each other, but you’d probably consider your first date the one time he took you to a fun little arcade: an event which happened a few days after he randomly admitted to liking you. And when I say “randomly admitted”, I mean randomly admitted.

- You’d been teasing him when you’d grinned and asked if he was “thinking about you”, but his response of “I think about you all the time” was anything but. You’d responded with something along the lines of “wait, really?”, upon noticing the lack of equally teasing tone in his voice and he’d very calmly told you “yeah” and that it was “probably because [he’s] in love with you”.

- He said it as though it were a totally normal thing to just casually mention: yet, even though he appeared completely nonchalant, he was still having a heart attack on the inside, side eyeing you in hopes of gauging your reaction.

- He doesn’t pressure you into responding and you sort of just let the confession sit there comfortably, moving on from it as though nothing happened and hanging out the same way you usually do; acting as if nothing has changed.

- So, after a couple more “dates”, he sort of just looks at you and asks if he can kiss you; wanting to do just that but also wanting to see if you’re actually into him and whether or not you’re now dating the way he likes to think that you are. You smile in response; because it is sort of funny, but you also nod and allow him to close the distance between the two you, pecking your lips before pulling away to look into your eyes. Once he’s done, he continues your walk home the same way he was doing before: except this time, he keeps looping around to kiss you again and again and again.

- You share a laidback makeout session either later that day; when you finally arrive home, or the next day when you find yourselves hanging out again; the same way you do nearly every other day. But, unlike every other day, you find yourselves in the midst of a silent agreement: a heartwarming understanding that neither of you are alone any longer....

- Kawashima is the epitome of a loser boyfriend and I mean that in the nicest way possible. He doesn’t have any other friends so once the two of you start dating, you sort of become his everything. 90% of his free time is spent playing video games and waiting for you to text him back and though it’s vaguely pathetic, he somehow makes it endearing. And maybe he’s just a bit too obsessive, but he doesn’t make the depths of his affection for you your problem so you really can’t complain.

- He loves pda: particularly the absentminded, blink and you’ll miss it sort of affection that comes from finding comfort in having someone close to you. He’s not gonna shove his tongue down your throat; unless you ask him to, but he’ll tap and trace shapes on your skin and hold your hand and never be too far away from you at any given moment. He can honestly count as an accessory of yours; what with the way he’s always with and on you.

- Handholding is his go to and he does it constantly. Doesn’t matter if you’re walking through a crowd or sitting down completely alone: his hands in yours and he’s reveling in it.

- He prefers when you just plain peck him on the lips but I also think he’d enjoy any sort of kiss; or nose rub, that you’d be willing to give him; and he’d return the favor anytime he could. He’d have a habit of pressing kisses to your hands and rubbing them across his face whenever you find yourself distracted/busy while sitting with him, aimlessly occupying himself with feeling how soft your skin is until you focus back on him again.

- Slow, soft kisses. He likes taking his time and letting the world disappear for a while.

- He likes laying his head in your lap, stroking your knee absentmindedly as he loses himself in his thoughts. He always leans into your touch like a cat whenever you play with his hair and scratch at his scalp.

- He’s really big on cuddling: so much so that he finds it difficult to sleep without you now that he has a taste of how comfy it is to be in your company. He prefers nuzzling into your chest and wrapping his arms lazily around you, intertwining your legs as you hold him against you. He always blearily sits up whenever you want/need to go somewhere, drowsily waiting for you to return so he can grab onto your arm and pull you back into him or silently and tiredly move on top of you once you get back into bed yourself; acting like your chest is his rightful pillow. He also occasionally; slightly, drools in his sleep so be prepared for that, and the fact that he’ll use it as an excuse to let you borrow his shirt/have you take off your top; he’s warm enough anyway.

- You stun him into silence whenever you call him a pet name but you also have him giggling and kicking his feet over it as well. He’s always torn between calling you nothing but pet names to calling you only your given name and it’s mainly because he can’t decide which he likes more: the feeling of being the only one allowed to call you “honey” because he’s your boyfriend (!!!) or the feeling of being able to say the wonderful name of the wonderful girl he’s obsessed with. Take it as a compliment when he calls you y/n: he loves you so much and thinks you’re so great that his love extends to your name itself.

- You’ll oftentimes catch him murmuring little things to himself or talking in his sleep and like everything else, it tends to be just another testament as to how much he loves you. He’ll say things like “tomato for y/n-san, y/n-sans tomato” while making you lunch because he thinks of your name and your presence like a song; one he never tires of singing and that’s always stuck in his head. It’s a relatively unheard declaration of how much he loves having you around and how much just the concept of you; and the fact that you’re a part of his life, brightens his day.

- I wholeheartedly think that his loneliness caused him to make a little habit of talking to himself; because filling the silence with his own voice was better than sitting in silence, but now that he has you, he converses with and shares his thoughts with you whenever he can; no matter how trivial they may be. Sometimes he just sits like a puppy and waits for you to finish your work so you can grant him your attention again: immediately and adamantly telling you about the cat he saw that day and how it made him think of you or how he just noticed that your shirt matches the book on your shelf and that he thinks it’s a really nice color on you.

- He prolongs your attention on him any chance he gets: subtly trying to drag out your goodbyes or “innocently” asking questions in order to distract you and get you to talk to him; even though he knows he should be leaving you be like you told him to. He just can’t help it sometimes.

- Don’t expect him to not blow up your phone. In fact, he’d probably go as far as to buy you a cheap flip phone if you didn’t already have one, just so he could communicate with you as often as possible; even though he doesn’t really have much money to spare. That being said: he memorizes your schedule so he doesn’t bother you whenever you’re asleep or at work or in class; if he knows that sort of thing bothers you. He works around what you prefer and answers back in three seconds even if you texted or called him back hours after he contacted you.

- I’m sorry but Kawashima is clingy. He can play it cool but he isn’t above holding onto you and begging and pleading for you to stay longer or to let him stay longer. He always wants to be by your side, even when you have things to do and can’t pay him any attention: he’ll just do his own thing or take a nap with the sound of you going about your day running through his ears like a lullaby.

- Dates that evolve into just sort of living with each other for a few days on end. Like, you’ll intend on visiting the zoo but then you’ll go for dinner, stop for ice cream, decide to head inside and cuddle. You’ll wake up and he’ll suggest eating breakfast together, but oh no, you need coffee, so then you’ll run out to the café down the street and, oh look, there’s a sale at the record store next door. Well, now we gotta listen to these together and chat. Can you paint my nails while we put them on?

- The two of you stay in a lot; it’s kind of his thing. You cuddle, you watch tv, you talk: you just keep things chill and laidback. And if you decide to go out later on, neither of you mind.

- He actually really enjoys running errands with you: he likes how domestic it is and also just has a habit of going along with whatever you want to do a majority of the time anyway.

- Walking around together at night.

- Arcade and video game dates. He’s very happy when you indulge him and let him show you his favorite games or ask him to help you beat a level when you find yourself struggling. You probably have a collection of stuffed animals he’s won for you; and he definitely arranges them instead of throwing them on the floor when he wants to lay in your bed.

- He’s interested in what you’re interested in. He likes learning things about you and feeling like you’re closer to each other than anyone else. He likes knowing you better than any other person you’ve dated or been friends with before; it’s a sort of reassurance to him. He also just likes listening to you talk.

- He’s always willing to do cringy, couples things with you. He might be oblivious when you look at him expectantly but once he figures it out, he’ll typically be more than happy to comply and will even begin to plan things out himself. Kissing in the rain, twirling you around, watching chick flicks or the cherry blossoms, etc. Ask and you shall receive, baby.

- Speaking of babies: he may or may not baby trap you with a pet. Like he comes home one day with a little animal; probably a kitten, and when you immediately coo at it, he feels like he just pulled off the heist of the century. He treats it like your baby and thinks of it as such. He also likes referring to you as mommy .

- Sharing clothes. He steals yours a lot, usually mumbling something about liking them better, not wanting to admit that they smell like you and it makes him miss you less when you’re gone. You also plan matching outfits with each other or let the other person pick out what you’ll wear. He likes when you dig through his closet because you have a look already planned out; he likes that you care about the two of you looking like you belong together.

- He wears the jewelry that you get him with great pride: and keeps the fact that he views it as a collar; and enjoys that very much, to himself.

- That’s the hairstyle of a man willing to let his girlfriend do his makeup and paint his nails and do every other “girly” thing under the sun. He loves his lil grooming monkey girlfriend: you make him feel all fresh and clean. Not to mention how much he loves coming over and using your shower.

- Please praise him. Call him handsome and pretty and sweet. Hold his face in your hands, and peck his lips, and watch as his eyes get all twinkly and full of love. Watch him get flustered as you call him princess and babygirl….

- He always grabs a drink for you whenever he gets one for himself. You never have to ask: he’s just considerate like that.

- The two of you sitting cross legged at his computer and taking one of those compatibility quizzes or something equally as unserious. You hold onto his arm as you debate about the questions and take it entirely too serious for what it actually is. Both of you stare at the computer in utter shock and amusement as it tells you that you should break up: he rants about it for days afterward.

- Sharing headphones with him and/or lending each other your ipods/walkmans so you can listen to the other persons collections of music.

- Taking weird couples photos. He’s a stone faced photo taker but he’ll indulge you and make weird faces/do weird poses with you. He has a soft spot for all your strange forehead angles and squished together faces and tongue sticking out selfies.

- Always has the perfect answer for those “would you still love me if I was a worm” or “would you get remarried if I died” types of questions; though it would take him a little while to understand what/why you’re asking.

- That being said: he’s the type of guy who can’t even think of you getting hurt or dying; even if you’re just making a joke. He just refuses to acknowledge it because he loves you too much and sparing even just a single fleeting thought on it makes him too sad. He’ll just shyly ask you to talk about something else, acting like you’re being morbid and it’s making him vaguely uncomfortable: he knows he’s being a bit silly but he can’t help it.

- He gets worried when you don’t answer your phone and always asks if you’re okay; even if you’re seemingly upset over something inconsequential. He has a tendency to drop by and visit you when wants to see if you’re alright, willing to drop everything he’s doing to put his mind at ease and to potentially soothe you.

- He smokes cigarettes himself but he’s also the type of guy who would wave away the smoke if you got too close to him or would refuse to let you take it up as a “hobby”. He’d also quit for you in a heartbeat, all you’d have to do is pout, touch his face and tell him you want him to live a long and healthy life and the next thing he knows, he’s throwing the box halfway across the street.

- You’ve definitely triggered that whole “immortality drug” talk at some point and it’s one of the most heartwarming conversations you’ve ever had with him. It was probably late at night and he brought it up, telling you that you’d live together forever and that he’d be happy then, just you and him. It’s probably said just a tad too early in the relationship for most people; and he definitely got really shy and awkward after, but it was still cute.

- That’s a bit of a running theme with him: he’ll get really excited and blurt things out, finding it hard to contain himself. And maybe he’s moving a bit too fast and sounds really lame; or he’ll backpedal and doubt himself a couple seconds later, but it’s kind of nice hearing a guy be so unfiltered about you. So many guys will play it cool when they don’t have to, and then there’s Kawashima who admits he couldn’t think straight when you wore a certain dress of yours for the first time or that he’d move in with you in a heartbeat or that he wants to be with you forever and ever. It’s cute.

- Has and will make detailed notes to ensure that he does everything perfectly; even if he’s in charge of doing something casual like grocery shopping. Tell him the type of birthday cake you want or where he needs to pick you up from and he treats it like brain surgery. He just doesn’t want to mess anything up: he likes the subtle praise and the fact that you’re relying on him; not to mention the fact that he likes doing everything in his power to treat you like the princess you are to him.

- Kawashima’s a pretty mellow guy. He’s nonchalant but he’s optimistic and just being in his easy going presence tends to calm you down. He’s always there to ground and reassure you, ushering away your nerves and being there for you through thick and thin. He doesn’t question you when you’re having a rough time and never thinks less of you when mental illness starts kicking your ass; even if he doesn’t always fully understand what's going on.

- Pep talks!! He might be a bit unsure himself but the minute you doubt yourself, he’s suddenly never believed in something or someone more in his life. He thinks you’re the smartest and most amazing person ever so his blind belief in you isn’t put on. He’ll assure you that people mean nothing, or that you’re doing amazing, or that he’s there for you, or whatever else you might need to hear as often as you need to hear it.

- He’s torn between loving when you get jealous and fearing that you’ll be upset with him. He doesn’t want you to question his love for you, but god does it feel good to have confirmation that you love him as much as he loves you and that you’re scared of losing him the same way he’s terrified of losing you. He only ever has eyes for you though, and it’s obvious to see if you just look past your jealousy: what with the way he’s staring at you with puppy dog eyes and ignoring the other girls beside him completely.

- Kawashima is more insecure than he is jealous. You’re his one person and he’s really scared of losing you so when you seemingly have a really good connection with someone else, it makes him a little scared and it makes him wonder why he’s not good enough to be your one person like you are his. He knows it’s a bit silly and that it’s normal to have other people in your life; he’s just an exception, which is why he tends to give you space and overthink it in solitude. Just give him a little attention and reassurance and he’ll be fine. Reply with an earnest “yes” when he “jokingly” asks if you “like him most” and he’ll calm down, realizing that nothings changed and that you’ll always pick him.

- He’s passively protective; though he has his moments. He’s more likely to get worried and want to know when you’re getting home or to softly usher you away when you signal that you want to go somewhere than he is to confront someone for you. That being said, sometimes he shocks himself with how suddenly he can snap at someone for speaking ill of you; having never expected such a passionate response to boil inside of him over something so objectively small.

- Kawashima is really worried when it comes to fighting with you so though it doesn’t happen very often either way, he always tries his best to avoid confrontation; mostly in fear of upsetting you or making you think less of him. He’s not great at communication because of these fears so he’s more likely to walk out when he’s upset rather than argue: though it doesn’t take long for him to come back and try to resolve things and seek comfort in you; even if you started the argument yourself and did so somewhat unnecessarily.

- Sometimes, he isn’t really sure how to apologize so he sort of just tries to extend an olive branch; usually with puppy dog eyes that he doesn’t even mean to make. He isn’t sure how to put into words what he wants to say so he’ll pass you your favorite drink or food or put on your favorite show and nervously glance over at you to see if you’ve softened a bit. Rest assured that he’s the type of person who stares at couples lovingly engaging in pda with a scowl on his face whenever the two of you are having issues.

- He tells you he loves you like it’s the easiest thing in the world for him to say: mainly because it is. The words are constantly on the tip of his tongue so it barely takes any effort at all for him to just let them out.

- Kawashima would literally move in with and marry you at any given moment. He honestly has the makings of a yandere: somewhat obsessive, in love, and unwilling to give you up; especially after he finally has you.