#kathryn the girl does The Most

[doctahchang]

on one hand, i do not like how the end of the equinox barely addressed the falling out that janeway and chakotay experienced throughout those episodes. like there is no way they could (and should) have let it go that easily.

on the other...

[mikedfaist]

so invested in famous!reader and her lore… does she have close friends in the industry besides Mike? What does the media/general public think of her? Does she have a crazy fan base?

I love her and want to give her a hug. 🥹 thank you!!! 🫶🏻

Just call me the Drake Passage because you’re crossing dangerous waters, my friend.

She does have many close friends in the industry. To name one, Kathryn Gallagher, who was on Broadway for Jagged Little Pill. Lauren Patten was also in that production, and she worked with Mike in Days of Rage, so everything is connected in some way it seems. Victoria Pedretti, Lili Reinhart, and Florence Pugh are just another few. She also has ongoing beef with Kendall Jenner that seems to resurface once a year.

In her younger years, the media pinned her as a big party girl, and it was common for her to make headlines when she was seen having dinner with a guy or leaving a bar with friends. As she’s gotten older, and she’s retreated from the media, it seems they’ve changed their attitude toward her, but they’ve always been supportive of her, but not always the most respectful…but that’s Hollywood, baby.

As for fans, she’s blessed to have fans that aren’t too much. They don’t crowd her and overwhelm her – though, I will say they were guilty of that in the past, but people grow. Fans who spot her in Ohio are very reluctant to approach her, but if they do, it’s a very polite and quiet exchange, and she’ll sign whatever they want signed, maybe even take a photo, and then she’s on her way.

Here’s a story: She, Mike, and their friends are all at a bar one night, and a couple fans are sitting at the bar top when they notice her sitting in a booth. She’s sitting in the inner part of the booth, and Mike has his arm strung over her shoulders, so she’s hidden well, but she’s nevertheless seen. They don’t want to bother her; she looks so happy and carefree; they figure they’ll just watch her from afar for a while and then talk about their encounter on Twitter.

Mike ends up going up to the bar to get more drinks, and this is when the girls see their shot. They had quickly written little notes for her, how much she means to them, and the songs and albums she’s done that have resonated with them deeply over the years. They hesitantly ask Mike if he can give them to her, because they don’t want to bother her, but he’s insistent they come to the table to meet her. If she wasn’t in the mood to meet fans, he would know.

The girls are shaking as they follow Mike back to their table, and they swear they black out during the encounter. She signs the inside of an Agatha Christie book one of the girls had in their purse, and the back of a Dollar General receipt. They also take pictures, thanks to Mike’s immaculate photography skills, and the only request was to post anything after midnight to guarantee she’s left the establishment.

Just met [reader] and Mike at a bar in Columbus… I haven’t stopped shaking. She signed my Dollar General receipt and became visibly upset when she noticed I paid $3 for my sunglasses. “What’s the fucking point being called Dollar General if you’re going to extort your customers?” She smelled so good, and complimented my Pedro Pascal shirt. Mike looked so good and he was so nice. It makes perfect sense why she likes him. Literally saw him kiss with my own two eyes so anyone who says it’s a stunt can suck my fat dick. Homeboy isn’t down bad with bedroom eyes for you to be saying they aren’t in love. Eat it.

Our famous would later like this post.

[kiri-cuts]

Wooing a dreamboat's grave in "Lisa Frankenstein"

Warning! Spoilers! If you’re my type of person, then you likely relate to a scene in ‘Lisa Frankenstein” where Lisa (Kathryn Newton) steps awkwardly into a party and immediately recoils in disinterest at its prospects: Normies, popular people, jocks, bad jokes and even worse conversation. Awash in a sea of coddled conformity and vanilla personalities, Lisa wants to disappear. And she does – via a drink spiked with PCP and its vile consequences. 

The scene is in stark contrast to an earlier one, which establishes Lisa as a romantic goth whose happy place is to sit beneath the handsome bust of an expired hottie’s grave and read poetry to it. Dead or not, Lisa is in deep with the dead. Her comfort zone isn’t with people. Hell, it’s not even amongst the living. All she needs is the fantasy of a cute guy – pulse be damned. For many teen girls, dead celebrities make for the perfect untainted crush: Kurt Cobain, Heath Ledger, Brittany Murphy, Tupac, River Phoenix, Elliott Smith Aaliyah, James Dean, Jeff Buckley, Anton Yelchin. For decades (hell, probably centuries), teen girls have been able to project their fantasies onto the pin-ups of the formerly living – the more tragic, the better. Dead celebrities can’t age, make gross missteps, or date someone you hate. As a result, they can never disappoint you or let you down. They simply remain beautiful and idealised – a butterfly pinned within a frame. “Lisa Frankenstein” takes this fantasy to the ideal next level. Lisa’s wooing of a corpse and her unbridled passion for him is so gigantic it’s almost a cosmic event. Sure, it’s the lightning bolt of a storm that wakes The Creature (Cole Sprouse). But to anybody who’s ever swooned so hard that their heart has felt big enough to swallow the whole universe, there’s an obvious truth: Lisa’s love was so electric that it woke the dead. 

Stories rarely allow women to not only fantasise in this way but to take the opportunity to make their fantasy flesh. There are countless stories about lonely, misunderstood, and horny men who see their most potent sexual and romantic dream babes conjured into a living, breathing fuck machine: “Weird Science”, “Ex Machina”... “Splice” (though, good grief, how I wish that last one didn’t go there). While other movies like “Poor Things” and “Frankenhooker” approach this tale from a perspective that pokes holes in such tropes and empowers the object of affection, such a story nonetheless persists. Outside of an episode of “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” where Sabrina uses a dubious ‘Man Dough’ recipe from her chronically single aunts to create a date for the dance, I’m stumped as to recall any others. (Since I know you’re intrigued, Sabrina adds too much enthusiasm into the mix, and a supremely cute but overly perky Brian Austin Green pops out of the oven like a young Nick Cage on “Wogan”. He’s no Harvey Kinkle, that’s for sure). In “Lisa Frankenstein”, our titular heroine very actively indulges her romantic and sexual feelings toward The Creature. Tongueless and speechless throughout the film, Sprouse’s character exists solely for Lisa’s gratification. As she helps rebuild and restore him to the living, she also restores herself. Previously, Lisa, too, had developed reactive mutism following the murder of her mother. But with The Creature, she confidently begins to get her voice back – even if she does use it to enthusiastically encourage the occasional cold-blooded murder (hey, nobody’s perfect). 

By the end, it’s just like my boy Nietsche says: She who fucks a monster might take care lest she become a monster. Except Lisa’s pretty okay with having the abyss gaze back into her. That abyss is her happy place, and that monster is her boo. This is the place where poetry becomes born into flesh and blood, creating the cutest boy she could have ever hoped to have sewn a severed penis onto. A place where love – even the mere fantasy of it – is all a person needs to sustain them. Pulse be damned.

[rayrayvan]

Hotel Room

Warning: The mention of the word human trafficking, profanities, angst, tiny jealous!shuri if you squint and fluff , mention of smut but doesn't go there

Shuri x fem!reader

You checked into a hotel because you were informed that your target was there. You sported a tight-fitting silky purple dress that almost reached the floor. As you walked inside the restaurant of the hotel you recognized two Dora Milaje standing outside and you know instantly that she was there. Shuri, the person who you truly love, the person that pushed you away from the grief she felt after her brother’s passing.

“Y/N, what you doing here?” One of the Dora Milaje spoke to you as you neared the entrance. You gulped when you saw her and took a long breath to calm your nerves cause you know this mission is gonna be a disaster “Mission” you said when you regain your confidence.

You walked inside the restaurant with your head held high. ‘She won’t notice me’ was all you ever repeated. You noticed she wasn’t alone, she was with someone else ‘Ack I am that replaceable’ Your inside voice bitterly whispered.

She noticed you and all she could do was be star-struck by how gorgeous you looked. Shuri lost focus of whatever this girl Nakia tried to step her up too. She was more focused on you now and when your eyes met her gaze, you ignored her and proceeded to greet whoever the prick you decided to date or perhaps another mission you took. She knows your once line of work before she met you. She knows you were a black widow who escaped and now works for Wakanda. That’s how you two met, a spy for Wakanda that was injured, and you two bonded and developed into something more. Shuri considered marrying you but the grief was too heavy for her at that time so she pushed you away.

“Mr. Andes?” You asked the man who was your target, Nicholas Andes, the biggest human trafficker in the city that was assigned to you to escort to SHIELD. “And you must be Kathryn, I insist that you must call me Nick” He flashed a big smirk that disgusted your whole being. Shuri watched the scene that unfolds, forgetting the girl in front of her who once was sitting in front of her that was now gone but she didn’t care, she cared for your safety and as much as she knew you can handle this, she alerted the two Dora Milaje to watch you and be prepared.

As the date was going well, Nick leans into you and whispered that you two should go back to his room. Shuri saw the scene unfold and she can’t help to be jealous. Her hands created two fists that were ready to punch the guy to shambles.

She was alerted when you two stood up and headed to the exit, she stood up almost immediately and followed you two out. She was alerted when she heard a scream outside which caused her to make a beeline right to the door of the restaurant only to see you fuming at the Dora Milaje because they captured Nick too early.

“I got him you know, I was luring him to the trap,” You told them and this prick was held by the neck of the spears by the Dora Milaje. SHIELD arrived just in time and so was the FBI “Agent Y/N, thank you so much for capturing Nick and Queen Shuri Thank you too”. Mission unsuccessfully successfully.

You were towards walking to your hotel room when a hand pulled you inside another room. You were about to fight off the perpetrator when you saw it was just Shuri.

You were face to face with the person who loved you so much that in the end was the most painful thing you ever experienced. “What do you want?” You asked her “ I want you” She straight-forwardly told you “What are you out of your mind? First, you told me how much you love me so much that you want me to be your wife then in the end all the hopes of being your wife, the mother of our children, the one to tend to you until we grow old, the dreams I spent daydreaming what it would be like to walk down the aisle with you on the other side, exchanging our vows just to come crashing down when you told me I am no longer useful to you, I mean what does that even mean? Useful? Did you even love me or was it all just games and entertainment for you?” You finally got the chance to pour your heart out, all the facade you did was broken when you saw her.

“I do love you, and I’m sorry for what I did. If I could turn back the time to correct all the things I said and take them all back I would” Shuri told you sincerely, she glowed under the moonlight, and her face was glistening from tears that escaped from her beautiful eyes. “You hurt me, you did” You hesitantly told her between your sobs “ I know sthandwa and I heavily regret that, please take me back” She was particularly begging you to take her back and you were loving how much she was whining for you take her back.

“Show me,” You told her which left her confused “What?” She asked you “Show me how much you want to take me back” She was taken aback about how straightforward you were with her but she loves this side of you “ What do you want me to do again sthandwa?” She asked teasingly.

You walked to the bed and started unzipping your dress until it fell off the ground. Your breast was glistening under the moonlight “Show me how much you love me and want to take me back, fuck me like you want to take me back, eat me like I’m your last meal” Although with the confidence wavering out of your body from how Shuri’s eyes darkened like a Panther about to devour her prey, she crawls on top of you and leaned in your ear “Ohh for sure sthandwa whatever makes you take me back” Was all she said before she smashed her lips to yours.

[booasaur]

Any new upcoming series with w/w?

Lol, I had a whole answer typed up and almost completed last night, I could only remember a few upcoming shows but added a bunch of ongoing and recent with descriptions and then the post editor hiccuped and removed most of it so I angrily went to sleep instead.

But maybe that was for the best, because this morning a video of upcoming f/f shows in April came out so now I can add a few more.

There's Dead Ringers, that show with Rachel Weisz playing twin gynecologists and since it's a genderbent adaptation of an existing movie we already know it's gonna be super messy. It would be pretty wild for Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies to not have some wlw and luckily it does, the trailer itself reveals a couple. Tiny Beautiful Things, with Kathryn Hahn and Sarah Pidgeon (Leah in The Wilds) playing her younger self, apparently Kathryn Hahn's character's daughter is queer. Slip is a kinda scifi, where a bored wife cheats on her husband and realizes every time she has sex with someone, she wakes up married to them. The show's about her trying to get back to her original life, and there are a series of different husbands, but also a few wives (also, the first "replacement" husband is played by Boorman's actor from Willow!). There are also the upcoming Thai dramas Be Mine, Reverse 4 You, and 23.5, as previously mentioned.

In terms of returning series coming back, there's the Disney cartoon The Owl House, getting its final ep. Single Drunk Female's second season is returning soon. It has a bi lead, and she did have a female love interest but it was pretty temporary compared to the will they/won't she has with the main character male love interest. Her Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor, also a very main character, is a lesbian, and she's married but her wife's actress is a regular on another show now so I dunno if she'll be back.

Welcome to Eden, a Spanish thriller about people trapped on an island with a cult, ended the first season on a major cliffhanger so it'll be exciting to see what happens now, though it feels like anyone could die so that's a bit nerve-wracking. It has a lot of different kinds of rep, f/f, m/m, trans, one of the gay guys is deaf too and it's a plot point that his boyfriend won't learn sign even though his friends have.

The Epix series From is a pretty well done horror series about people trapped in a town and who get hunted at night, it's more ominous and suspenseful than outright gory. It actually has three wlw, though one is mostly with one guy, the one who's engaged to a woman outside the town seems to be about to start a romance with another guy, and one is a teen who's crushing on the first woman, feels unrequited. I didn't know about any of them when I started, so they're a bonus, the show itself is rather compelling.

As for current shows, The Power (lol, get it, current) started last night on Prime, it's nice that after the misreading of Class of '07, this new show about girls does immediately have a wlw. Gap's already finished but it made such a splash, if you haven't watched, I'll mention it again. The other Thai drama, Show Me Love, is still airing. Fantasy Island is honestly kind of sweet, it feels like one of those '90s shows, episodic, bright colors and optimism, and great guest stars. One of the two leads, I'd say, or at least the second billed main, is queer.

We got our three firefighter shows, 9-1-1 with a solid (now) established relationship, Fire Country, a lesbian character but not much screentime, and of course Station 19, which is honestly winning me back in a huge way with their current storyline (if they land it).

Cop wlw update (why are there so many of them!): NCIS Hawai'i remains super cute, especially when Lucy is on, looks like Ayanna on Law & Order: Organized Crime got herself a new gf with a super hot voice, The Rookie: Feds still has Niecy Nash playing a super likable and bi lead. I couldn't stand the egregious copaganda in FBI: Most Wanted, and like, imagine how bad it'd have to be, when I can still watch all the rest of these shows, but Sheryll's still there, so. Sin Huellas (No Traces) has already finished but gets another mention for being as funny as it was, with a cute, hot couple at the center. Rabbit Hole's just started, but the initial antagonist/probable grudging ally's an FBI lady who within the first 10 minutes of the first ep dropped that she had a wife. Van der Valk has started its third season and though I'm gonna keep hoping Lucienne's INCREDIBLY hot ex from 2x03 returns, Lucienne, second billed, is plenty hot by herself. Ariana Guerra, who played the novitiate in Helstrom, has joined the second season of CSI: Vegas. Her character's bi and has a main character boyfriend but he seems like he'll most likely end up with a different character.

I'm not really going through these in any particular order, except combining the above two types, but let me just blow through the rest of the ongoing shows: the Canadian family comedy Run the Burbs has been quite sweet in how it's written the teen daughter, How I Met Your Father comes across as an old fashioned sitcom, except one of the characters is a lesbian. It's kind of fun in its familiarity and low stakes. I didn't expect to be as drawn into The Watchful Eye as I did, the trailer felt quite soapy and it was, at times, but all the nannies were great, and I ended up quite liking the f/f side couple. It's amazing what actual personalities can do. :o A Million Little Things is winding down its final season and Grace Park's character is engaged to Cameron Esposito's character so it feels pretty endgame at this point.

If you didn't watch or stopped watching Carnival Row because the main m/f relationship seemed so especially trite, you maaaay want to give it another look. I'm not nearly caught up with Bel-Air, but in the first season they wrote Ashley's sexuality really well, especially since she's so young. I'm sure you can't have missed my Perry Mason gifsets by now, but I can only reiterate what a great character Della Street is. One of the kids in Gotham Knights is bi (and her brother is trans!) but I'm not sure it's worth getting invested before cancellation. Unless the CW is only going to keep projects involving the Supernatural trio?

At this point, hoping everyone who's into wlw has at least tried Yellowjackets or is aware enough of it to know they don't want to try it. Las Pelotaris 1926 is a Spanish language historical drama about female athletes playing--well, the sport is basque pelota but if you need a reference point, it's like squash or racquetball. If you haven't yet caught up with RWBY, now would be an okay time. Lastly, I've still never watched any of Riverdale or even Choni clips, but its final season has just started and you know, I gotta respect the longevity of whatever they've been doing with them, however up and down they seem to have been, and perhaps this final season will be an up. From what I've seen on SM, they seem to get endgame soulmatey treatment more than any of the other ships and I can respect that.

Aside from the Thai dramas that might air after April and a few of the other shows that ended their seasons in March (or February in Gap's case), all of these have eps airing this month. After this year of cancellations, I think it's worth enjoying what we can, even as we acknowledge how much lead/main character rep and longevity we're losing. :o

[seasonofscreams]

Until Dawn Fan Cast

Wanted to throw my hat into the ring of fan casting the new Until Dawn movie.

SPOILERS FOR UNTIL DAWN BELOW

(also just assume there might be bl**d & g*re depicted below)

I wouldn't be surprised if Kathryn Newton becomes the new scream queen so it makes sense for her to follow in Hayden Panettiere's steps. She was brilliantly versatile as her two characters in Freaky & has a natural charisma that would be great for Sam whose all-rounder character could fall flat in another actor's hands. Pretty much everyone agrees on Sam being one of the few left alive if not the Final Girl & I think Newton would excel in the role.

Mike is pretty conventional as a Final Guy - objectively attractive, resourceful alongside headstrong with a funny side. Tom Blyth displays these traits himself in his portrayal of the younger Coriolanus Snow in The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes as well as a charisma that had many a watcher rooting for him despite portraying one of the most evil characters in The Hunger Games franchise. It would be interesting to see him tackle the complexities of Mike and even more fun to see him engage in the action scenes sure to be in the movie.

I never got into Stranger Things but from the limited amount I've seen Caleb McLaughlin is one of the best actors in the show. Matt is a contradiction to his own trope. He's a jock who is insecure in his relationship with Emily compared to how she feels about her ex, Mike, but also potentially wants to be seen as the hero. There's very much parallels that can be drawn between Lucas and Matt as well as enough differences and it would be really interesting to see how he would tackle the role.

Olivia Rodrigo is most famous for her music but her acting turns (admittedly in Disney & mv's, yes) have always been received pretty well. Emily is a hard character to cast especially when comparing to original actor Nichole Sakura since Emily is smart and resourceful whilst being blunt and - for a lack of a better word - wonderfully bitchy. There's a certain aura within the SNL performance for all-american bitch and music video of bad idea right? that gave me this feeling i can't shake that i want to see Rodrigo as the likely other Final Girl (I hope Emily survives to the end alongside Sam).

When Sweeney (as Cassie) was hiding in the bathroom in Euphoria, many people were desperate to see how she would fare in a traditional horror film - she plays terror great! maybe it's cheating to fancast her as Jess since she's played a promiscuously perceived blonde 'home-coming queen' type before but... if it ain't broke. I can't see a more perfect Jess to be honest.

according to luckyleftie on tiktok, Ashley's original horror trope was that of the stoner, rather than the academic - which clarifies the origins of the anxiety her character exhibits throughout. Personally, I'd love if they explored this in the film more (it's gonna be rated R after all). Sophia Lillis proved herself in the horror genre as Young Beverly in IT (2017) and would be really fun in the inquisitive/conclusion jumping Ashley. (Also I think she does resemble Ashley/Galadriel Stineman but that may just be me).

(Chris is deffo dying when Ashley doesn't let him into the house it's too potentially big of a scene to not do so) Tony Revolori is a funny actor and as self-proclaimed comedian of the group, I'd love to see his interpretation of Chris who pines after Ashley as well as how he could potentially approach the investigative chapter during Josh's 'prank.' Plus I loved him in Scream and wish we'd seen more screen time of him playing in the horror film.

Have you seen Hereditary? Point made.

in all seriousness, Alex Wolff is talented and plays awkward, yet charming alongside disturbed characters amazingly. Josh is quite an awkward guy ('party like p*rnstars' anyone?) and dealing with rapidly declining mental health as well as grief from his sisters' disappearance. Josh is a very complicated character whose actions cannot be justified but mental health cannot be ignored. Wolff could be a fantastic choice - especially if the mental health representation through Josh was updated with more advice and guidance from professionals.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading!! I'd love to hear if you agree (but pls don't be rude about it i put a lot of time into these edits/fancasting choices/individually crediting where i got the photos so if you hate it pls just move on) :)

[godihatethiswebsite]

Books Tag Game!

Tagged by @dragonnarrative-writes.

Point of order: I'm a picky bitch. The amount of books I've read vs the books I'd actually put on a bookshelf are like.... maybe 20, taking into account most of them are part of a series. Tho tbf most of the 'good books' I want aren't on KU and I'm kinda fucking broke. Also yes, the early days of booktok got me back into reading after a 10+ year slump in case that wasn't about to become insanely obvious.

1) The last book I read:

Fake It Till You Make It by Flora Quincy. Been on the hunt for more omegaverse books, but this one was terrible >< DNF'd.

2) A book I recommend:

I don't know how not to sound like a basic bitch broken record, but for the love of god go read A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas. Just stop after book three in the series.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout. Binged the first three books (that were out) in two days. Wish I could afford the rest.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

Hi. Basic bitch again :) A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Maas. You have no idea what this book meant to me the first time I read it and the strength it gave me to open my eyes and see that I was worth so much more.

5) A book on my TBR:

Currently there are about 28 of varying excitement to read (most of it is what I refer to as 'junk food'), but I've got an upcoming release in September for the fourth book in the Beasts of the Briar series by Elizabeth Helen called Broken By Daylight I'm looking forward to.

6) A book I’ve put down:

Exodus by Kate Stewart. I was prepared to put this series as one of my all time favorites with the way I felt falling in love with Sean and Dom, but after that... refused to read more. Genuinely devastated, still not over it. Haven't looked at rainy days the same ever since.

Also just because it still bothers me - House of Flame and Shadow by Sarah J Maas. What the fuck girl?! The first one was so good and I praise so much of your work! But it's like ever since ACOTAR book 4 came out you've just dropped the ball...

7) A book on my wish list:

Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros. Hopefully it's better than some of the other dragon books I've tried recently.

8) A favorite book from childhood:

The Sight by David Clement-Davies. It's a fantasy book that follows a pack of wolves and their daughter who has visions. Have tissues on hand.

9) A book you would give to a friend:

Depends on the friend >>; We talking a cute hockey romance like Weak Side by SJ Sylvis... or is the freak flag flying with Shantel Tessier's The Sinner?

10) A fiction book you own:

Death: A Life by George Pendle. Not my usual fare, but it's a fun 'autobiography' about the grim reaper.

11) A nonfiction book you own:

Does a high school yearbook count?

12) What are you currently reading:

Just cracked open Baby + the Late Night Howlers by Kathryn Moon, but I'm expecting to probably close it within the first few pages (seriously, my kingdom for a good omegaverse that I haven't already read 😭).

13) What are you planning on reading next?

God, idk. Most of the books on my list either cost money, aren't out yet, or are titles I know are most likely gonna be mid at best.

No pressure tags: @cosmicpro, @void-my-warranty, @all-purpose-dish-soap, @stuffireadandenjoy, and @rememberwren

[heartofstanding]

Joan of Kent's age

When I was writing up this post on Joan of Kent, I got curious about the question of Joan's age. The year that's typically given is 1328 but Kathryn Warner has argued that it was actually 1326 or 1327, based on the Inquisition Post Mortem for Joan's brother, John, made in 1352. Two entries in the IPM give her age as "25 years and more at St Michael last" and "26 years and more at St. Michael last". Warner concludes that as these two entries are the only ones that give a date - St. Michael being Michaelmas or 29 September - around which Joan's birthday must have fallen, then they must have the correct age for Joan, and then concludes:

Where does that [1328] date come from?  Did someone perhaps once see John's IPM and mess up the maths and think that age 25 or 26 subtracted from 1352 equalled a date of birth in 1328, and everyone else has just copied it ever since without checking?  Or is there some other evidence somewhere I'm missing?

Have historians just being repeating someone's bad maths for decades, too dumb to check the source? Well, no. Come with me on a journey of statistics.

My first thought was Joan's age might have been given in the documents relating to her marriages - which are helpfully transcribed in the appendices of Karl P. Wenterdorf's article on Joan's marriages. Except these only say that Joan was of marriageable age when she married Holland. The canonical age of consent for girls was 12 so Joan would have at least 12 when she married Holland, which would make her born at the latest in 1328. But it didn't make sense that historians would pick this when the reference is so unspecific and Warner is so convinced that the IPM gave us a clearcut answer.

On a whim, I checked out the IPM myself and stopped. The first entry gave her age as "24 years and more". I started scrolling. The answer became obvious. The IPM gives a range of ages from 22 to 26 years and more, which Warner dismisses by claiming the juries would not have never met Joan or know when she was born and just picked random on the basis that all they knew was that she had to be born between 1326 and 1330. But since two give a date around which she could be said to be "25/26 years and more", one of these, according to Warner, must be the correct date of birth.

But the 1328 date comes from the IPM, clear and simple. It is not based on the same logic that Warner uses and it is not a case of "messing up" the maths. It's statistics. Basic statistical analysis.

There are 19 entries that give Joan's age, plus three more that say only "heir as above" [1]. Her age given ranges from 22 to 26, given in turn would mean her birth year ranges from 1326 to 1330. Giving her age as 24 and her birth year as 1328 would put her in the middle of that range. 1328 is also suggested by the frequency by which the age "24 years and more" is given - ten entries out the nineteen entries give that age. Over half. The second-most frequent entry is "26 years and more" at five entries, half that of the entries that give her age as 24 [2]. 22 years and more is given twice. 23 years and more and 25 years and more are only given once each. Here is a chart showing the frequency.

([1] The entries above these give her as 25 years and more once and 24 years and more twice. I have not included these entries in the tally of entries for 24 or 25 years. If I did, the number of entries of 25 years and more would rise to 2 and for 24 years and more, 12. [2] one of the entries that give her age as 26 gives it as "26 years and not more". Rather that counting it separately, I combined it with the "26 years and more".)

The average age based on these entries is 24.3 years of age.

We can narrow Joan's date of birth down further. Her father, Edmund Earl of Kent, was executed on 19 March 1330 and her brother, John, was born just under a month later, on 7 April 1330. Joan is said to have assisted at his baptism so she cannot have been his twin and cannot have been born in 1330. If her birthday did fall around 29 September, she cannot have been born in 1329 either as her mother would have been pregnant with John then. 1328 is the latest year she could be born in, assuming the September birthdate is correct. We don't know when the elder of her two brothers, Edmund, was born only that he had died before October 1331 and like Joan, was a godparent to their younger brother.

Joan's parents married in December 1325, meaning September 1326 is the earliest any child could be born - though this assumes the child was not the result of pre-marital sex. Pre-marital sex was not exactly an uncommon feature in medieval marriages so it is a possibility.

Warner cites another piece of evidence for disregarding the 1328 birthdate. John's proof of age reports:

Edmund son of the said Edmund [Earl of Kent], and Brother John de Grenstede, prior of the order of Friars Preacher of Arundel, and Joan, sister of the said Edmund son of Edmund, lifted the said John from the sacred font on 7 April, 4 Edward III…

Warner concludes that if Joan was born in 1328, it is unlikely that at 18 months, Joan would be considered "old enough and big enough and responsible enough" to lift her newborn brother from the font, even with adult assistance. Maybe, but a similar issue would apply if Joan was 2.5 years old. Perhaps, too, the proof of age should not be read as an exact statement of what happened at John's baptism and the exact wording of Joan "lifting" her newborn brother as a standard turn of phrase than a perfect description of what she did. Both Joan and Edmund would've needed the assistance of adults to act as godparents, though the proof of age does not mention this either. Warner points out that the earliest a child could have been born to their parents was September 1326, which means at either child could be, at most, 3.5 years old. A 3.5 year old wouldn't have been tall enough to reach the font on their own - especially once we take into consideration the forensic evidence that medieval children developed physically slower than modern children.

Another factor, unmentioned by Warner but pointed out by Penny Lawne, is that the direness of the family's situation meant that the newborn John's siblings were playing a very unusual role. Small children were not the typical choice for godparents. This was, after all, just under a month since Edmund, Earl of Kent had been executed and it's likely they were under some kind of house arrest at the time. Edmund and Joan were likely the most suitable choice around - John's other godfather was a prior, a "modest choice" given the family's status. If Joan was 18 months old, it may simply reflect that the family had little alternative.

It is true that two entries in the IPM give Joan's age as "25/26 years and more at St. Michael last." which has generally been taken to suggest Joan was born on or around the feast of St. Michael, i.e. 29 September. Warner assumes that because these two entries are the only ones to be specific about the date, they must be better informed about Joan's birth year.

However, the fact that neither agree on her age suggest that they are not wholly reliable. Furthermore, Warner does not suggest why the locations where this IPM was carried out (Leicester and Nottingham) should be so well informed about Joan's birth and the rest not. We do not know where Joan was born or any details of her birth, such as her godparents, to know if she was born in those locations (Warner herself suggests that if the 1326 date is correct, it's likely Joan was born overseas - which would suggest her birthdate would be incredibly obscure). Nor does it seem like her own proof of age survives to give us these details, or else Warner or Lawne would have cited it.

Warner's final piece of evidence for suggesting that Joan was "rather older" (two years older) and born in 1326 or 1327 is that it would make her "13 or 14" when she married Thomas Holland, as opposed to 12 years of age which is more in keeping with modern sensibilities. Actually, given her birthday was in September and she married Holland in or before May 1340, she would have been 13 at most. Such an argument has no basis in surviving evidence or fact, it is about making modern people more comfortable with the reality of Joan's life. A better argument is that if Joan was born in 1328 the claim made in Holland's petition to the pope that she was of "marriageable age" when they married would be factually incorrect as she would only around 11 years and 8 months old and not yet the canonical age of consent - 12. However, it is possible that Holland fudged the claim and rounded Joan's age up for the purposes of his claim.

*

I don't really know what to think now. I was fairly convinced by Warner's argument that Joan must have been born in 1326 or 1327 but seeing for myself how frequent the age of 24 years is given makes me feel that the 1328 may be far more likely than Warner believes. The theory Warner suggests - that the juries simply guessed at when Joan could be born and came up with a random number - does not readily explain why over half of the juries should randomly pick 24 years of age - double the number of the juries who picked 26 years of age, and ten times the number of the juries who picked 25 years of age. In the end, I do not think the 1328 birthdate can be so readily dismissed - I would say that Joan could have been born in 1326, 1327 or 1328, and unless more evidence is discovered, we will never a definitive answer.

[cokiemace]

"my love"

"There has never been a single person in human existence quite like Kathryn. Stunning to look at, and exciting to be near - cold as ice. She cares about absolutely no one but herself. This girl has elevated self-absorption into an art form. She believes in nothing and laughs in the face of sadness, faith, and sincerity. A person solely observing her and having seen the damage she's done to so many lives would most likely classify her as evil. She scoffs at any and every type of religion, all the while manipulating others by using the idea of being religious all to her advantage. She'll steal monetarily or emotionally from anyone who crosses her path, spend night after night in drunken, drug-induced debauchery, but lives this other life as the consummate perfect angel. She is in a sense brilliant, as evidenced by the fact that she has indeed completely fooled each person she has ever had to–except me–and she knows it. We are very similar people except I have a heart, and from time to time, actually feel emotion Kathryn does not. I have seen her break the spirits of others, cheat on anyone supposedly important to her, and all these things are done without so much as a second thought."

[the-cat-chat]

August 24, 2024

Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

A misunderstood teenager and a reanimated Victorian corpse embark on a murderous journey together to find love, happiness, and a few missing body parts.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: We’re starting spooky season early! There are good things and bad things about this movie.

One, I love Kathryn Newton and I like that they reallllllly lean in to how weird and dramatic and unstable her character is. Cause truthfully, you would have to be off your rocker to make the bizarre decisions she does throughout the movie. Like no normal and rational person would make these decisions, but it does make sense for her character.

I also really enjoy that they give her a caring relationship with her stepsister, even though they are totally opposites. Honestly, it’s probably the most developed relationship in the movie, and I like that. It’s unexpected, especially with the evil stepmother and the brainless absent father.

On the other hand, the relationship with zombie boy feels kind of lackluster. The whole time I didn’t feel like she actually cared about him at all, but she was just using him to make herself feel better. So their whole "relationship" isn't that romantic in my opinion, and her love confession at the ends feels meh to me.

Also what on earth is with the father? I still can’t figure that relationship out, and it’s weirdly not acknowledged in the movie.

So yeah. I think if Kathryn Newton wasn't the lead, this would be a much worse movie. I think Cole Sprouse does an okay job considering he has almost no lines, so he's there, but almost like an afterthought.

But I have to admit I was invested and entertained, which is honestly better than I expected.

Rating: 5.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I don’t know where to begin. First, I’m sooo ready for spooky season. Second, I recall this was released for VALENTINES DAY. What a power move. I also want to put out the disclaimer that the concept this movie exists in the same Diablo Cody universe as Jennifer’s Body cures some of my soul’s ailments bc Jennifer’s Body holds a very large part of my poor little broken teenage emo heart. Soo just that alone can cover the few qualms I have.

I loveee Kathryn Newton and her acting in this is so phenomenal she’s such a gem. I love how she sulks and scrunches her body and her costumes are amazing. The stepsister is adequately irritating and Carla Gugino as the evil stepmom??? What a performance.

Now the plot. I’m here for it. But it got freakky. Ok so she hangs out alone in a cemetery- it’s the 80s and her mom was murdered. She’s in love with a grave bust??? She goes to a party?? (Seems her not her vibe? but okay) takes pcp- I at points was convinced she was just in one long pcp trip or dream. And I can even get behind the unbelievable notion this guy came back to life- it’s spooky season.

And I might be slightly underwhelmed that Cole Sprouse neveeeeer spoke but I guuuuuuueesss since it’s frankenstein I’ll forgive it bc what was I expecting??? The mutton chops are too much tho.

Anyyyyways the serial killing plot for body parts was unique if unhinged and I totally agree with JayBell that half the time I was convinced her step mom was right and she did need to be thrown in the snake pit (a murdered mom gets a girl at least some meds or therapy right?) - I love that to get him “electrocuted” like in the og story they used the broken tanning bed. I do have to say there are parts and especially the last murder and body part added to Frankenstein kills me and I rather wish I’d never experience, but I’ll add it to my collection. I’m glad Lisa did end up surviving and Frankenstein could talk bc I love a happy ending- and I was totally gonna riot if to avoid the cops she died in the tanning bed.

Rating: 5/10 undead boyfriends 🧟‍♂️

[tearsofthefilmreviews]

REVIEW: LISA FRANKENSTEIN

Lisa Frankenstein is a fantastic debut for Zelda Williams that absolutely delivered, and more, on what I was excited for. Its darkly hilarious and hits the comedy-drama balance right. Has a fantastic atmosphere and lovely visuals, particularly in the costuming and production design; it hits that gothic, late-80s vibe damn well. Kathryn Newton is wonderful as the lead and the film is very well-crafted overall. In particular, the film succeeds in using its premise to such fun, twisted potential. Beyond the analysis I’ll get into below, it is just such a fantastic time you’ll get watching this film, which also feels very fresh in its execution and is releasing in perfect timing for Valentine’s Day. I can’t recommend it more due to the fun factor alone, and the comedic campiness it embodies at times, let alone the actually super well-developed lead characters.

-Lisa-

Lisa is a fantastic character. She’s a socially closed-in, gothic girl in 1989 America, at a time when being different in such a way was seen still as lunacy, as depicted by her mother. Its striking to me that they go on to reference religion later on - when she goes to commit the second murder - as this sets up an allegory that is quite relevant to modern times. She’s an outcast not due to any crimes of her own - she was traumatized by the brutal death of her mother and, at the point of the main exposition of the film’s first act, her worst crime has been breaking a mirror. She is treated as wrong - as different, as bad - and the slightest wrong motion is met with hard pushback. To put it simply, I am saying this can be seen as an allegory for how LGBTQ persons are treated widely even today; they’re seen as “them” by many, and it does not take much looking to see evidence of how the treatment of Lisa reflects this. I also felt strongly about how her mother blamed her for quite literally anything that went wrong; being blamed like that is something that I have known myself, and I am grateful for that being displayed. The mother’s death is the most metaphorical of the bunch, as we see Lisa overcoming the oppression that had kept her down, and coming out of her shell thanks to it; as we clearly see her be more expressive, in words and in her wardrobe choices. She is also clearly in a better place, now that she has more ease of mind…which can be put into the allegory. Dispel the oppression; the bigotry, asinine and pointed hatred - and people can feel free, and express themselves without the stress of a hawk hanging over you.

Lisa leans hard into her life's new direction and revels in the chaos, all while maintaining her likability and coming more and more into her own. It goes to her head as she becomes colder towards Sprouse's character, only to fall for him in the ending. The ending essentially demonstrates how oppressive the society around her is; she's a free spirit, and is not seen as 'compatible' with the pious around her. She dies to be forever with her true love, and to be free from the prejudices of her times that seem to ignore her own trauma.

Obviously, she and The Creature did commit murder and crime on their jourey during the film, but that doesn't take away from this metaphorical read of it, since that's beyond the surface levels. On that surface, Lisa is still a fantastic and very fun character, who really shines thanks to both the script and Newton's excellent portrayal. She’s a flawed character - murders, or plays accomplice in murders of - people who harm her, and on the surface narrative level, faces repercussions. She traumatizes her sister badly, and gets herself in trouble with the law, likely after Taffy ratted her out due to Michael’s murder. Yet, despite the bad she does, which includes the way she acts towards Creature when she goes to see Michael for the sex she desires and later gets from Creature, she is still a character that is both likeable and very strong for the audience to identify with. Her personality, her - what makes her tick, how she thinks - is something a lot of people can connect to in various ways. The rebellious spunk she embodies and displays is powerful, and very socially relevant in modern times. I know that I personally felt touched by her character- not by the blood that was spilled, though that does have thematic significance - but by her. Again, Kathryn Newton brought the vision of the writers to fruition in the best way possible.

Lisa is the type of character that will become iconic, especially amongst a certain crowd.

-The Creature-

I think that this film really does the Frankenstein thing in an interesting way. He died in an awful accident - electrocution, which ironically is what helps him slowly reform - and comes back for a second lease on life, empowered by Lisa’s words and care. He is clearly no simpleton, and Sprouse’s performance absolutely carries so much character, and communicates much emotion without a single spoken word. He acts more on his own towards the film's ending and showcases how far he's come in demonstrating individuality, which ultimately kicks in when he kills Michael out of jealousy. We never get his name, but he doesn't need it to be memorable in his own right; chemistry with Lisa is spot-on throughout. Sprouse adds a lot of fun to the character with his performance, and truly brings the character to life.

-Taffy-

Taffy is a character I wanted to get into because, especially on a more meditative rewatch, I found myself quite interested in her character. Coming off of the new Mean Girls film especially, she feels reminiscent of such a character archetype in her backstabbing attitude. She's the nicest person to Lisa besides Sprouse's character, and is constantly supportive. A particular moment is when she acts defensive of Lisa when Michael talks to her by the lockers, but the action gains a much more sinister energy when you know what she's up to. Meeting and fucking with Michael behind Lisa's back, and trying her best to stop Lisa's affections so that she doesn't get hurt. She even takes advantage of Lisa's sympathy; even as she's spiraling more towards the end, she feels compassion for Taffy, who is emotionally a wreck due to her mother's dissapearance. Taffy uses this to sneak away to Michael's. Granted, it does seem to help her distract herself so she can cope with her emotions, but it still feels sinister given the circumstances, and adds a lot more depth to everything she did.

Clearly though, in the ending, we see Taffy cares a significant amount for Lisa, even after being terrified of her following Michael's death. She seems to care more than their own father, in fact, at least judging on the delivery and direction of that performance.

-Technicals-

Lisa Frankenstein is expertly made and stylistically fabulous. There are so many moments with the cinematography and set design that I absolutely loved, and the costuming/makeup is superb all-around. The colours and lighting work to sell the moods of individual scenes super well, and are also very cohesively crafted. Especially the interiors, particular in the shed and Lisa's bedroom, really pop visually, and the cemetery has such a perfect vibe and feeling to it, that shifts yet maintains its energy as the story progresses, and it gains even more meaning through the murderous journey. The script is tightly-wound, funny, great and translated superbly to the visual medium. The gothic stylings of Lisa's room and outfits are simply lovely. Direction is also spot-on, and makes me excited to see more from Zelda Williams in the future.

-Conclusion-

Overall, I absolutely love this film for many reasons, and was happy to be able to see it twice despite a less free schedule as of late. I couldn't get a showing with a big crowd, but my opening Saturday showing definitely reciprocated the energy I was feeling from this rewatch. I'll be watching this more in the future, and I don't see it falling too far down my 2024 ranking. I am ecstatic that this film surpassed the hype I had for it.

Absolutely confident in this score.

10/10

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hiya! I currently have covid and am just feeling blue--do you have any super fun and super hot book recs? I'm trying to cheer myself up lol

Oh no, I'm sorry! COVID sucks. I didn't get it until right after Thanksgiving last year (and haven't gotten it again since) but it fucked me up quiiiiite a bit. I hope you feel better soon.

And YES! I do have some hot books for funsies.

If you have a tolerance for angst at this time (I can never tell if people mean fun as in "funny" or "anything entertaining", because my brain is weird and I tend to just be able to take a max dose of angst 95% of the time), I will always say some of the hottest books I've ever read with The Most Fun are Sierra Simone's. New Camelot is a great starting place IF you are down for some angst (HEA guaranteed, of course).

If you're NOT in an angsty mood, why not get a head start on the holiday season with her Christmas Notch series, co-authored by Julie Murphy? This series focuses on a small town where a Hallmark-type company films Christmas movies. Shit gets ROCKED, however, when the former child star actress of the movie (in the first book—these read best chronologically though they're technically standalones) has to drop out. The man heading the production studio making the movie ALSO has a porn production studio.... so... why not sub in a porn star who wants go mainstream? Starring opposite her childhood crush/a former boybander who's a big fan of her Only Fans page?

They're super funny, they're super delightful, they're HOT and the final book is out on 9/24! Does it include the hero getting his ass fingered? Who's to say?

(I am to say. He does. It's great. More of that, authors.)

SPEEEEAKING of porn stars, you could also try Rosie Danan's The Roommate, which is about a girl whose potential roommate drops out right before she's set to move in. Her new roommate... may happen to be a famous porn star. There is a truly incredible scene where she's like "I need an orgasm" and he's like "omg buddy I got you" and eats her out through her panties. Because that keeps it... platonic...

And then, also along the lines of modern classic superhot romcoms featuring sex workers, if you haven't read Helen Hoang's The Kiss Quotient... You gotta. A woman on the spectrum hires a male escort to teach her how to date (I mean, also to fuck) essentially, because she's been told she's frigid in bed in the past and thinks something is wrong with her. Rightfully, he's like "There is nothing wrong with you, also here's an orgasm". I'd also recommend the second book in the series, The Bride Test. The Heart Principle... is a heavy book that is actually too angsty for ME. Which is saying something. Not bad. Wouldn't call it fun.

What about Tracey Livesay's American Royalty? The one about the uptight British prince who has to organize a charity concert and hires a female rapper a la Megan Thee Stallion and then they fall in love? This one has a direct sequel, so you can get extra fun. (First book does NOT end on a cliffhanger, second just continues the journey.)

Minx by Sophie Lark is a fun one. In this one, the hero is a billionaire who hires the heroine, a high end escort, to help him with specific needs... Pet play, it's pet play. He has her dress up in a cat suit (to be clear: not like a furry cat suit... she's in a sexy cat suit and wearing cat ears and a collar that says "Minx"... she drinks milk out of a bowl and then they fuck nasty... INCLUDING. when she's ON HER PERIOD. be still my heart, more pls) and she ends up getting into his heart. Also, because it must be noted when we get it in m/f romance: his ass. She gets into that as well.

If you're open to something SUPER wacky lol, Kathryn Moon's A Lady of Rooksgrave Manor is a paranormal historical erotic romance in which the heroine essentially works in a brothel for monsters...? And she falls in love with like, five or six different monsters. The swords don't cross a TON, but they do cross, at it were. She bangs like. A Jekyll and Hyde guy; and a gollem type guy; an invisible guy; a vampire, a sphinx; and there's definitely more lol

How to Marry a Marble Marquis by C.M. Nascosta. Another paranormal historical type book. The heroine is looking for a husband, and receives assistance from a gargoyle rake. Also she receives dick from a gargoyle rake. She does in fact fuck the gargoyle rake while he's sleeping. And is a stone. He's fine with it.

If you're open to mafia romance, Mila Finelli (otherwise known as Joanna Shupe) writes such fun shit with her Kings of Italy series. Best read in order (the first two books are directly connected, the next three technically stand alone but come on now) they are SUUUUPER hot and SUUUUUUUUUPER over the top and so good. TWs for a lot of murder obviously, most of the super violent shit is "offscreen". The heroine of the first book is 18 and the hero (who initially is arranging for her to marry his son) is 38. So there's that. But it's very much NOT your standard issue "sweet virgin" mafia romance.

Sara Cate's first four Salacious Player's Club books are super hot and good! I would especially recommend Give Me More (MMF, friends to lovers) and Mercy (femdom, older heroine/bratty hero). Also Mercy has pegging! I'm on a roll, truly.

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield, of course. The one where the heroine blows her boss by accident (it was dark, they were both confused, mistakes were made) AAAAND calls him daddy during. Which he loves. So they begin a no-strings relationship which involves, among other things, stepfather/stepdaughter roleplay. It gets emotionally out of hand. Soooo good and soooooo hot tho I will admit I am soooooooo the target audience.

If you want short and sweet, Angelina M. Lopez just released Give it To Me! which is an anthology of her short stories, most of which are on the hotter side (a couple are closed door, but one of the few that doesn't include sex has a sequel story in the collection which DOES and it's fab). You get everything from a widow asking her dead husband's best friend (who's become her best friend in the ensuing years) to help her get back in the saddle (by fucking her) to surfboard sex to a magical orgy gangbang situation. Very fun.

If you've never read Tessa Dare... lol... now's the time. A Week to Be Wicked and When a Scot Ties the Knot might be good for this moment! I also love Any Duchess Will Do, but that has a gut punch (in a sad way) moment.

Grace Callaway's historicals are very fun and very hot and silly and comedic, buuuut I will say the backstories can get pretty dark in a lot of them. If you are open, I'd say that you might want to try her Game of Dukes series or the Lady Charlotte's Society of Angels (it's Charlie's Angels but historical romance) books.

A lot of S.M. LaViolette books can be on the darker side, but her Bellamy's series is definitely on the lighter end for her. They're VERY hot if you're in a historical mood, and though there are some tragic backstories, I think it's a bit more doable than her other stuff. And you get things like "Phoebe's mom tells her she should just knock herself out on her wedding night because her future husband is like 7 feet tall and clearly hung" and "Hyacinth is pretending to be a guy and Sylvester knows she's a girl now so he's having a good time baiting her into revealing she's a girl by saying shit like 'LET'S JACK OFF TOGETHER, OL' BOY' while watching a peep show with her".

TJ Alexander's Triple Sec is sooo fun and hot if you're open to a queer book. The main POV heroine is a bartender who meets a bubbly lawyer... but the lawyer is married... But hey, they're poly! And now our main heroine is dating the lawyer while developing feelings for her frosty artist spouse... It's F/F/NB.

Preferential Treatment by Heather Guerre, of course. A woman mouths off to the billionaire CEO of her company. He's super into it and offers to pay her to be his domme. Yay!

[edensinking]

I was tagged by the lovely @indigowriting ages ago and I forgot to write this! I am so sorry and thank you so much for tagging me. This got too long and I had to put it under a cut.

Tagging: I am going to tag @esta-elavaris because I love their writing!

rules: use this headcanon generator to make headcanons for your ocs! then talk about how accurate they are.

— Audrey fucked your mom.

Audrey most likely fucked your dad. She's oddly enough the only straight character I've written in the history of ever.

— Milo screams like an anime girl.

[ Steve Harvey voice ] YESSSS!!

— Julia was forced to eat cement as a child.

With Benjamin as her older brother? Absolutely.

— Rafael is afraid to close their eyes in the shower.

Yes cuz he's a little BETCH.

— Kathryn shops exclusively at Hot Topic.

Wrong. Everyone knows she shops at Lululemon and Patagonia exclusively.

— Adrian watches My Little Pony.

I cannot confirm nor deny. I can only hope he does it in the most normal way possible.

— Demetria is smart but also very stupid.

Absolutely.

— Matthew voted Reigen in the tumblr sexyman poll.

Duh.

— Sadie wakes up on November 1st and starts decorating for Christmas.

Bold of you to assume she's not with the shits August 31st at the LATEST.

— Dakota uses two-in-one shampoo and conditioner.

In high school? Absolutely. In the present time? You would have to force him.

— Nellie is unemployed.

I mean, technically. She's a retired teacher.

— Cece doesn't own a single pair of matching socks.

How dare you.

— Noah is a top.

I feel bad for bringing peepaw into this conversation.

— Jude is great with kids.

Of course he is. I am stopping now because I just made myself sad.

[simplylove101]

2024 Horror Challenge: [12/?]

↳“What can I say? I like playing with my food.” Abigail (2024) dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

Plot: After a group of criminals kidnap the ballerina daughter of a powerful underworld figure, they retreat to an isolated mansion, unaware that they're locked inside with no normal little girl.

Starring: Melissa Barrera, Dan Stevens, Kathryn Newton, Will Catlett, Kevin Durand, Angus Cloud, Alisha Weir & Giancarlo Esposito

Man, oh man a little over a month since I last made a post for the challenge which is only a big deal since I've watched like 5 horror movies since then. lol And I guess for once I've still been staying with just releases of the year, which has been totally unintentional but different. I gotta say, I truly enjoyed this one tbh. It really worked for me. I love a good ensemble-focused story with a strong script and it's wonderfully casted. I wouldn't change anyone. Any detractors for Melissa as an actress should watch this cuz I think she's getting much stronger and deserves to be considered a scream queen. Alisha Weir was wixkedly good as Abigail. Kathryn Newton remains a scene-stealer and she was so good in here as usual. Dan Stevens belongs in horror, he truly does, so I was happy to see him in the cast. And ofc RIP to Angus Cloud, he gave some nice laughs in his scenes for sure. Not to mention, it's directed by the guys who gave us things like Ready or Not (one of my all-time faves at this point) and the recent Scream movies so I had a feeling I'd be down for it regardless. There was a lot of hype for it beforehand so I wasn't sure whether it'd live up to it or not but I think ultimately it did. I'm pretty glad I hadn't really watched the trailer before watching though because it sounds like it spoiled way too much as most trailers do these days. So, sorry to those who were but thankfully I wasn't. But yeah, it was a lot of fun to watch and it certainly is a fave of the year so far for me. It just had a lot of things that appeal to me going for it so it only makes sense.

[divinemissem13]

Fic titles:

Paperwork

If we had this life to live again...

In midnights and cups of coffee

Eeep! Thank you, these were fun!

Paperwork:

Chakotay knew not to cross the line that Kathryn had so firmly drawn between them after New Earth. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t find more subtle ways to show her he loved her.

If we had to live this life again…

Kathryn Janeway has everything she has been dreaming of for the last seven years. She got her crew home in record time, she’s a celebrated Starfleet admiral, she’s even been reunited with her beloved dog Molly.

Well, maybe not everything. Something is missing, although she can’t quite put her finger on what.

She begins to wonder how things might have been if she had only made a few different choices. Not the big ones, but the little ones: tea instead of coffee, skiing on the holodeck instead of painting, reading reports on the bridge rather than in her ready room.

Lucky for Kathryn, she has her own personal Q who is more than willing to help her explore what might have been.

In midnights and cups of coffee:

Over her years at the Academy, Beverly Crusher has gotten used to being the last woman standing at the Night Owl. Most students leave long before they close, but she gets her best studying done in the quiet shop in the wee hours with a fresh cup of coffee.

In her second year at Medical, Beverly suddenly has company for her late night study sessions, in the shape of a quiet freshman in science blues who studies even later than she does and pounds even more coffee. She finds herself watching this new girl, with her chestnut hair in a tight chignon and her pile of real paper books, unconsciously hoping that one night, the girl will be watching her back.

Then, one night, she is.

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

atla characters + star trek

aang

favorite series: he likes the optimism of tos and tng best but he appreciates them all

character he should meet: benjamin sisko. sisko would make him a delicious vegetarian meal, over which they'd discuss struggling with their responsibilities as spiritual leaders

katara

favorite series: ds9 because it has the most explicit antifa politics, and voyager because powerful women. captain katara!

character she should meet: kira nerys. they could bond over losing their mothers at a young age and fighting colonizers, as well as their unwavering faith in their friend who is also a spiritual leader

sokka

favorite series: tng and ds9, but he's seen them all. biggest trekkie of the gaang. has built model spaceships with hakoda

character he should meet: literally any of the engineers. let him follow them around with wide starstruck eyes as they explain the workings of a warp engine. it's what he deserves

toph

favorite series: does not watch star trek but has heard sokka talk about it

character she should meet: seven of nine. they've both fought fictionalized versions of the Rock, they're both defiantly independant because of a repressive upbringing, and seven has been known to bond with intelligent young girls

zuko

favorite series: tos and tng - they offered a comforting refuge for him as a kid with a difficult home life

character he should meet: worf. the only people more obsessed with honor than zuko are klingons, and they could theoretically bond over having a complicated relationship with the warrior culture they're from. but that would require emotional openness, so realistically they'd probably just spar and compare weapons. that would still be fun for them i think. also worf might tell him he fights with honor and that would make him happy

suki

favorite series: voyager, because women, but familiar with all of them via sokka

character she should meet: jadzia dax. they'd spar and talk about their dating lives, bicon to bicon

azula

favorite series: star trek is for nerds like zuzu

character she should meet: kathryn janeway. she'd benefit from a mom figure, and she'd need one who's just as tough as she is and who has experience guiding young women who were raised to be weapons

mai

favorite series: ds9. she enjoys the moral ambiguity and political drama

character she should meet: spock. with the blunt bangs and emotionless attitude, she's basically already a vulcan, and like spock she has had to rebel against her emotionally repressive upbringing

ty lee

favorite series: ds9, also for the moral ambiguity and political drama.

character she should meet: deanna troi. they could have a girls' night eating chocolate and talking about vibes and auras and how people underestimate them

iroh

favorite series: tos - he likes a classic. the politics probably went over his head when he was young though

character he should meet: jean-luc picard. they'd have tea and talk about philosophy, in the process of which picard would call him on only changing his mind about the war when he was personally affected. iroh could call picard out for being a frenchman lecturing an asian man about imperialism but unfortunately picard has probably already acknowledged Earth's past in his speech, plus iroh is from a fantasyland and doesn't know what french people are

hakoda

favorite series: don't make him pick! he's seen them all and is the reason sokka and katara are into it. your stereotypical nerd dad. he sings along to the enterprise theme song, much to his children's embarrassment

character he should meet: james t. kirk. bakoda is so spirkcoded