#keith will complain later and yet has not moved him... interesting...

[cryptidcharlie]

...that can't possibly be comfortable.

(happy valentine's day!! kind of a follow up to this!!!)

[beezywriting]

Modern Stranger Things AU. No Upsidedown or Vecna-ness. Just young adults trying to figure out life and stuff. There will be more parts and adult situations later on.

OC, Modern!Steve, Modern!Eddie, Modern!Robin, Modern!Max (mentioned), Modern!Wayne (mentioned)

Summary: After his breakup with Nancy, Steve tried to find the right girl. She just didn’t happen to be any of the many girls he went out with. A little discouraged about his current situation, he decided he was done trying, working on himself and all that. Until Eddie gets a mysterious new neighbor, and Steve is hooked on her before he even has a chance to be introduced to her.

Mentions drug use/smoking weed.

PART 2 IS HERE

Word count: 2235

Steve and Eddie sit on the front porch of the Munson trailer, a joint being passed back and forth between the two. Steve had just finished an early shift at Family Video and was still wearing the green vest sporting his name tag when he arrived at Eddie's, his glasses pushed up on top of his head almost hidden in his hair. Eddie on the other hand hadn’t even gotten up until nearly 2pm, and had spent the day with his guitar, Sweetheart, practicing songs for his next gig with Corroded Coffin.

By the time Steve pulled into his driveway around 6, Eddie had already been outside rolling up. Steve wasn’t even fully out of his car yet when he’d started complaining to his friend about his day, and as he climbed up the porch steps, Eddie was already holding the lit joint out to him. He took it between his fingers and brought it to his lips immediately for a hit, then took another before handing it back and diving right back into his story.

Fall was right around the corner, which meant Halloween was on the way, and the store kept getting new inventory. While there was plenty Steve wouldn’t mind grabbing to bring home and watch, the contrast of the early days and late nights to keep everything updated was keeping him exhausted and cranky.

He’d tried on more than one occasion to get Eddie to come and work with him and Robin, but after all the complaining Steve had done, and knowing that he would be working for Keith, he had told Steve there was no way in hell he’d be doing that. Instead opting for the music store in town. Sure it was a little sleepy, there was never a mad rush of people coming in to buy instruments or sheet music. But he loved it there. Sometimes if he knew it would be a particularly slow day, he’d take Sweetheart in with him and plug her into one of the really nice amps the store had that he would never buy. Sure it sounded fucking amazing, but his amp at home worked well enough, after a few surgeries anyways.

The two sat on the porch for a while, just shooting the shit and smoking. Steve had calmed down considerably, but he still had on that dumb vest, causing Eddie to chuckle every few minutes. They both watched as a car pulled into the trailer park, eyes following it lazily as it curves around the line of trailers, parking at one just a few up from the Munsons.

Eddie had lost interest at this point, having already met the new tenant when she moved in. But Steve was staring. Watching intently as the driver side door opened up and a girl he guessed had to be around their age stepped out. Her blonde hair was tied back in a low bun, a black sweater hung loosely off her shoulder despite the chill that was taking over the night.

“Who’s that,” Steve asked, taking the joint from Eddie’s out-stretched fingers. Deftly pulling his glasses off the top of his head and returning them to the spot on his nose so he could see.

Eddie looks up again as if he didn’t just watch her arrive at the same time Steve did, “Oh uh… Bec- Becca? Bex? She moved in last week.” As if this was obvious, and Steve was way behind on things. “We helped her unload some stuff. Me, Wayne and Red across the street. Seems nice enough, just looks mean.”

“Who said she looked mean?” Steve took a drag from the joint, letting the ashes flutter to the ground at his feet.

“Ever heard of ‘RBF,’ pretty boy,” Eddie teased.

Steve looked at him, eyebrows raised before realization hit him. A soft ‘ohhhh’ passing through his parted lips. The joint continued to burn between his fingers, completely forgotten by him until a hot sear touched his skin, the joint falling as he let out a curse.

“Dammit, Harrington,” Eddie isn't mad, but he is theatrical as he dives to save what was left of their smoke session. “I’d say we could invite her over, but you can’t even hang onto anything, you’d probably burn her.”

Steve’s cheeks redden a bit. It’s not like he’d done it on purpose. It just wasn’t every day someone new came to Hawkins that was actually their age. And not to mention he had struck out with most of the girls in town anyways. Just wanting him to say they’d had him, not because they actually wanted to be with him. But now he was way ahead of himself. He didn’t even know this girl's actual name and he’s prancing towards their future in his head like some psycho.

“She smokes,” Steve asked, super casually he hoped, as he watched her disappear into her own trailer. Never casting so much as a glance their way.

“Yep,” Eddie had retrieved what was now more of a roach than a joint. He should really just get a new one started, but there was still a little something left. He’d feel bad to not let it live out its full potential, so he holds it carefully between two fingers and lights it again, bringing it to his lips and inhaling deeply. “She came by a few times since she moved in. You were at work. I am sure I told you about it,” he looks over to Steve now, a playful but accusatory look on his face, “you just don’t listen to me when I talk.”

Steve looks shocked. Surely that wasn’t true. But he did know he’d been complaining a lot about work recently, so the idea that he’d let Eddie ramble while his words went in one ear and out the other wasn’t that outside of the realm of possibilities.

Steve stayed at Eddie’s awhile longer, Hawkins newest resident pushed to the back of his mind as Eddie carried on with his antics. He told Steve about his next gig, reminding him that he had to remember to tell Keith he needed off. “You’ve missed like, the last five, man. You don’t love us anymore.”

They’d both laughed, Steve promising he’d ask off on his next shift. If anything he was sure Robin would switch with him. Before he left he even sent her a text to remind him to talk to Keith the next day about it, much to Eddie’s bemusement.

_______________________________________________

Getting the day off for the next Corroded Coffin show proved to be more difficult than Steve, or even Robin had intended. Neither was sure what, but something had definitely crawled up Keith’s ass. “And died there,” Robin had added with a huff, annoyed on Steve’s behalf that their boss was being such a dick on purpose.

“All the guys are gonna give me shit if I don’t make it again,” Steve complained morosely, dragging a hand through his hair and down his face. “I seriously need to figure out what Keith’s deal is.” He slumped over, body resting across the green counter, his glasses pulled off his face to rest next to him.

Robin patted his back, her free hand a fist to rest her chin on. “D’ya think it was that date you went on with Judy Hall?”

He turns to look at her, misery etching his features. The date with Judy hadn’t even been good. She’d spent the whole time talking about her ex. The places he would take her to and the dates they’d gone on. He hadn’t even taken her home with him, happy to be free of her as soon as possible.

“Just thinking out loud,” she said quickly, returning to pat his back as he tucked his face back into his arms. “He was really into her…”

“Well he can have her, what does he want me to do, introduce them?” Steve knew his issues weren’t Robin's fault, but he was feeling particularly sorry for himself at the moment and he knew she wouldn’t take it personally.

Once Keith left for the day, Robin let Steve take it easy, sitting back in Keiths office and just playing on his phone. Texting Eddie that he was struggling to get the day off for the show, but so far Keith wasn’t making it easy. But he was trying.

He had spent most of his shift wallowing in self pity - getting up every now and then to help Robin when they’d get a small rush of people. Usually it was no more than three or four, and it was quick enough to get through them so he could get back to scheming and staring at the schedule.

The door dinged as it opened, someone else coming in. There was only ten minutes before they closed, Robin had already done most of the nightly duties so Steve had his ‘wallowing in self pity’ time. He listened to their muffled conversation from the back office, whoever had come in was another woman, not a voice he recognized.

The conversation moved away from the counter, Robin was showing the mystery customer something in the store. He could hear them both laugh, despite Robin not generally liking having to talk to customers, she did pretty well. Steve thought he had helped a lot in that department, and he was pretty pleased with himself as he listened in on the interaction.

They came back to the counter, and Steve could tell Robin was really into whatever they were talking about. He could almost see how animated she was becoming just by the inflections in her voice. He pushes the door open, just a tad, needing to see Robin in full customer service action, and is surprised to see Eddie’s new neighbor on the other side of the counter. He doesn’t think she looks mean at all, and plans to tell Eddie he’s crazy for even saying it.

And there his mind goes, running away with wild thoughts again; and man they are gone. The first date is amazing, the first kiss even better, he’s sure he’s in love just a month after the relationship starts. If Robin had seen him, she probably would’ve given him a smack to knock the heart eyes out of his head. Definitely would’ve told him the look on his face made her want to be sick. He was in deep and he hadn’t even said one word to her yet.

Lost in his daydreams, he didn’t see that she had noticed the door open, regardless of how small a sliver he was looking through. She could see him. “Is your co-worker broken,” she asks Robin. An amused smirk on her lips as she let out a little chuckle.

“Is what— “ she followed the other girl's gaze to find Steve in the crack of the office door. Her brows knit together in confusion, wondering what the hell he was doing. “Earth to Dingus?”

Snapped, rather rudely, from his insightful look into the future, he shook his head and let the door fall open. “Sorry,” his face had turned red, the flush bringing out the gold rims of his glasses, “I totally spaced out.” What a great first impression he was making.

Robin looked at him like he had six heads and had just come from a planet of very stupid aliens. Bex wasn’t quite so mean, she looked rather amused actually. Not laughing at him, but maybe next to him, good naturedly at least.

“Apply to Nasa, Space Cadet,” Robin turns back to computer and types a few things in to finish the transaction, the clock now reading only a few minutes left before they could lock up and go home. She picked up the movie and grabbed the receipt when it printed, handing them across the counter, “sorry about the weirdo,” she motions behind her shoulder.

Another laugh at his expense, next to him, not at him. “It’s okay, that’s what I get for coming in right before closing, right?”

They both laughed at her little joke, Steve gave an apologetic nod as she grabbed her things. “Have a good night,” he called out as the door closed behind her. She turned just a fraction and smiled back at him before getting into her car.

Robin stood next to him, still looking at him as though he was an alien from another planet. “Okay what’s gotten into you?” Her arms folded across her chest as she looked at him with narrowed eyes. When he only looks down in silence things finally click together. “Seriously, the girl that moved to town five minutes ago? Don’t make me get the ‘Steve Strike Out’ board back out.”

He scoffs and looks up at her, “well you don’t have to try and jinx me right away. Have a heart, Rob.”

“I do have a heart, Steven. You don’t even know her.”

“Well, I’ll get to know her.”

“You turned into a wordless guppy just looking at her a few minutes ago.”

Steve’s lips pursed together in a firm line, while Robins quirk up into a smile. She was right and she knew it, and Steve didn’t have anything to fire back with. Instead helping her with a few last minute tasks before closing the store up and taking her home so he could hurry over to Eddie’s. For no reason in particular.

Tags: @sw34terw34ther

Thanks for reading my silly little story 😘

[toplinetommy]

Redefining Home - Matthew Tkachuk

Synopsis: After spending months with Matthew in his childhood home in St. Louis, it’s time for him to go back to Calgary, and the reality of your normally long-distance relationship settles back in.

Words: 2k

A/N: very brief mention of the pandemic, gif credit @matthewtkafuck​

Three months - almost four; that’s how long you had spent close to every second of every day with Matthew and the entirety of the Tkachuk family. It was a huge change in the way you and Matthew experienced your relationship. Over the past year and a half of your relationship, the entire of it was spent as long-distance.

You had met Matthew when you had just started your career in Chicago, working for your dream company, living in an apartment your younger self could only dream of. Matthew had been in town for a game against the Chicago Blackhawks. They had won, the younger guys on the team opting to go out to celebrate, while you and some of your roommates were celebrating a birthday. One thing led to another and you had quite literally bumped into Matthew’s tall and broad frame while chasing your extremely drunk friend.

That night your friend ended up finding the rest of your group and you seemed to be glued to Matthew’s side the second you guys made eye contact. Sure you got yelled at by your friends the following morning about how you ditched them, but in the long run, no one could complain. You had gotten the handsome, curly-headed NHL player’s phone number with absolutely no intention to ever use it. That was until a few days later a text from an unsaved number popped up, saying it was Matthew from the bar a few nights ago. 

With him being a professional athlete in not only another country, but a different timezone, your guys’ relationship had started off with what most people would classify as a friendship based around your clear attraction for one another. Texting each other a few times a day turned into texting all day, every day, which then turned into facetiming any chance the two of you could get. Whether that be during your lunch break at work, him on the team bus to the airport, when you were walking down the city blocks of downtown Chicago, or him skipping his pre-game naps to just to hear your voice.

Your relationship started to shift from two friends to two people that were clearly interested in one another trying to figure out how to discuss those feelings when you were never in the same city and rarely in the same timezone. After weeks of pestering and some convincing from your roommate, you had agreed to get on a plane when Matthew had a string of home back-to-backs one weekend. He convinced you to come to see him play in person and then he could officially give you the wine and dine experience he told you you deserved.

That one weekend trip turned into you visiting him any weekend you could when he was in Calgary and even some when he was in various other cities. It was weekends away with him in his Calgary apartment and him flying into Chicago to spent time with you and your roommates with the very little free time he got. 

Weeks and weeks of flying around the North American continent and late-night facetimes when you weren’t together passed by before he had asked you to be his girlfriend to which you excitedly said yes to that one night in his Calgary apartment.

Those weekends spent flying in an out of Chicago were worth it though. Now, here you both were, in Matthew’s childhood home in St. Louis planning for what your guys’ next move was once he got on his flight back to Calgary to start training camp before the playoffs.

You’re sitting on the large sectional in the family living room, your feet laying across Matthews’s lap as he mindlessly rubs his thumb along your shins. You shiver at one particular stroke of his thumb causing Matthew to giggle and playfully squeeze your leg. You kick him playfully while sticking your tongue out, hoping to pull his attention from the tv show playing in front of you two. 

“Matthew,” you try, sticking out your bottom lip in a pout. He turns his head towards you raising his eyebrows as he hums out his response. Even though he’s facing you now, his gaze is still focused on the tv in front of him so you try again. 

“Matty,” you try again, this time dragging out his name in a whine. 

“Yeah, baby?”

“Give me attention.”

“Y/n, we‘re watching tv there’s only so much attention I can give you,” he reasons. He moves one of his hands further up your leg, reaching out to grab one of yours. He pulls your hand, making you sit up from where you’re leaning back against the couch. He continues to pull you until you’re curled into his side, head on his shoulders and legs still in his lap. 

He places his hand atop your head, flattening the stray strands of hair before placing a kiss there. Once his lips leave the crown of your head, he keeps his hand there as he continues to push his fingers through your hair and watch the show playing on the tv screen. 

You mindlessly move your body around, faking uncomfortableness in order for Matthew to abandon the show and give you his full attention. Once you’ve moved your hand across his chest for what felt like the 50th time in five minutes, Matthew grabs the remote next to him pausing the show. 

“What’s on your mind?”

“You’re leaving again in a few days, just wanna spend as much time with you as possible.”

At the admission, Matthew pulls your body further into his lap, maneuvering you so you’re straddling him. He looks into your eyes, noting the soft expression on your face as you look back into his blue eyes. 

“Baby,” He starts, his hand wrapped around the side of your neck, thumb resting on your jaw. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“But you’ll be back here and I’ll be back in Chicago.”

“And I’ll come see you when the season’s over, just like I did last year.”

“I don’t know if that’s what I want anymore.” You let out barely above a whisper. Matthew jolts at your response, slightly pushing yourself body away from his as he leans back into the couch cushions trying to put as much space between the two of you he can. 

“What?”

“No, not like that,” you smile. “I love you, you idiot, you aren’t getting rid of me that easy. I just meant being apart.”

Matthew sighs heavily at your clarification, his thighs relaxing underneath you. You place your hands around his neck, leaning your body into him. 

“I thought you were okay with us doing distance? It’s been working so far, hasn’t it?”

“It was, yeah, I don’t know. I just had this plan and then this whole pandemic hit and you let me come stay here these past few months and it’s just been so nice being around you all the time. It was working before, it just doesn’t seem like the ideal choice anymore.”

“But you had your plan. You’re gonna work your ass off until you get your promotion, then we were gonna talk about moving in together.”

“I know but my perspective has changed,” you start. “How am I supposed to just go back to Chicago without you, not knowing when we’ll see each other again when I got to have some of the best three months of my life with you here in St. Louis. It’s like I didn’t know how amazing it would be to be around you nonstop and now that I know what it’s like I’m not sure I can just go back to Chicago and how we were.”

Matthew tilts his head to look more directly at your face that’s now laying on his chest. He moves his hand to your head, tilting it upwards to meet his gaze. Instead of responding right away, he opts to lean in and place his lips on yours in a gentle kiss that expresses his love for you.

“I love you, so much, baby.” He assures you.

“I love you.”

“So you’re saying that you don’t want to do distance anymore?”

“I don’t think I can, especially not after knowing what it’s like to live with you.” You reiterate.

“I don’t want you to put me before your career, especially when I’ll be gone half the season on the road,” Matthew speaks lowly. He knows the weight of the decision you’re pondering and wants to make sure it’s the right one.

“I want to be with you Matty, all the time, no matter what.” You move away from him, trying to get a better look at his facial features as you speak. “I’ll start looking for jobs in Calgary tomorrow even.”

“You’re serious?” Matthew laughs, eyebrows raised.

“100 percent.” You smile widely, leaning in towards Matthew’s face to touch your lips to his. His eyes stare into yours until your lips meet in a very giggly and teeth-filled kiss. A kiss that’s full of pure elation at the decision the two of you just made. 

“It’s more than just getting a job, it’s in a whole new country.” He breathes against your lips.

“We’ll figure it out.”

“Instead of you just moving into my place, let’s find a new apartment. My lease ends in November, you can come up then and we can look for a new place. Our place.”

“Can it at least have the same floor-to-ceiling windows you have in your place now?” You request with glee.

“Anything my girl wants, she gets.” Matthew laughs, giving you one more quick kiss and a squeeze at your waist. “Is it selfish of me to say I’m thankful for this quarantine, then? I get you with me 24/7 now.”

You laugh at his suggestion, “How did I get so lucky?”

Brady and Keith both walk in the room as you finish talking, Brady instantly chirping his brother. “You’re the lucky one? I’m pretty sure Matthew’s the lucky one in your relationship.”

Matthew pushes your body away from his, grabbing the decorative pillow next to him and throwing it at his brother’s moving figure. You laugh as the pillow missing Brady and hits Keith instead, who instantly scolds his oldest son. 

“You guys look awfully happy.” He comments.

Matthew looks back at you, silently asking for your approval on sharing the news before you nod your head yes. “We’re moving in together.”

“Three months with us and you’re still choosing to move in with him?” Brady chirps once again. “I’m surprised he hasn’t run you out of St. Louis yet.” Keith looks at his younger son at this, giving him a stern look telling him to shut up.

“Congratulations guys,” Keith smiles. “Y/n, whatever happens, don’t get roped into doing his laundry all the time. Despite his complaining, he does know how to do it.” 

Matthew rolls his eyes at his family members’ chirps, still basking in the excitement that was your guys’ relationship’s next step. You couldn’t agree more with his earlier statement - you had to be thankful for being stuck at the Tkachuk family home for three months. It took your relationship to the next level, even with the very close encounters where you were sure Matthew was getting under your skin just to piss you off. Matthew was your best friend and you couldn’t wait to be a part-time Canadian, something he liked to call himself with his career. Being with him all day for the past few months only reaffirmed your deep love for the curly-headed boy who sat underneath you.

[loveafterthefact]

Love After the Fact Chapter 29: Toe the Line

Lance isn't creepy! He swears he's not creepy! This is basically fluffy filler, so like... the cocoa pebbles of breakfast cereal? Idk eat it and enjoy

First  Previous  Next

“Okay, so what you want to do is follow and flee from my toes.”

“Excuse me?” Keith’s flat stare has Lance biting his lip. “Don’t laugh at me! It’s not my fault!”

“How can you dispatch soldiers with such grace and yet you’re the most awkward dancer I’ve ever had the misfortune to be paired with?” Lance’s scales gleam with his amusement.

“Because kicking ass is important. This is not important.” Keith glares at his awkward feet. “This is the exact opposite of important.”

“It’s extremely important- Hey.” Lance moves his hand from Keith’s waist to his chin, encourages him to meet his gaze. “Don’t look at your feet; look at me.”

“But if I look at you I- Sorry!” Keith’s ears wilt as he moves his foot off of Lance’s.

Lance just laughs, scales glittering with light. He playfully steps on Keith’s foot in return. “It’s fine. You’re fine, beloved. Just look at me and follow. Your feet will figure it out.”

He can’t. He’s too busy glaring at his feet. He doesn’t know how to do this. He doesn’t want to do this.

They're in a random sitting room, all the furniture pushed up against the walls so they have space. Light, airy music filters through a system of speakers. Keith doesn't know how to dance, and frankly never cared to. He still doesn't, in fact. But he was informed by Alfor this morning that he must learn, and quickly, so here he is.

“Beloved,” Lance murmurs. Keith sighs, forces himself to look at his spouse. That delicate brown hand reclaims his waist. “One step at a time, okay? We’ve got this. Let me lead. You follow. I know you like being in control, but I know what I’m doing and this is how Adam wants it.”

“I’m starting to think Adam just wants me to be female.”

“You think so?” Lance asks, frowning. Keith’s gratified that Lance doesn’t seem to like that, doesn’t dismiss him immediately. He manages to keep moving without stepping on Lance’s toes again, but he’s still stiff and awkward.

“That’s how it feels. Seems my womb is the only thing people around here care about.”

“Well, it is. In a way.” Lance gently guides Keith into a new step. “See, we are not people, you and I. We cannot be. The difference is that I am something more, and you are something less.”

“Gee, thanks.” Keith stumbles, regains his composure. Lance gently reorders their feet. The Altean has far more patience. Keith envies that.

“Adam’s coaching has made you likeable. It has made you relatively safe. But the one thing my father and I can agree on is that we must be more than people. We must be untouchable.”

“How the fuck does that work?” That somehow still feels like being less to Keith.

“Charisma and perceived power. Which you have none of. But don’t worry. We’ll find you some.”

“Yeah…” Keith sighs, steps forward as Lance steps back, as those delicate hands coax him to follow, to keep them together- Oh. Keith can work with that. He’ll keep them together. That can be his job.

“Good! Hey, you’re doing really good!” Lance grins at him, spins him out, draws him back in. Silent communication, Keith thinks. Physical communication. He smiles, ears perking just a bit. “There’s that smile! You’re doing great, beloved.”

“Thanks…” Keith’s ears are still tipped back and out just a bit, Lance notices.

“What’s bothering you?”

“I… I’m not sure how to explain it.”

“You don’t like it, do you?” Lance whispers. The music tinkles along in the background, but Keith barely hears. “You don’t like what Adam’s asking of you.”

“I’m not your wife, or your pet, or a decoration, which is exactly what he seems to think. I guess I've just grown tired of it?”

“So… Don’t do that.”

“I thought you wanted the people to like me,” Keith grumbles glaring back down to his feet again.

“I think you’re extremely likeable. You’re reserved, clever, sassy. Pretty. You don’t need to be my pet. Frankly, I find the idea repulsive.”

“You…” Keith’s brows crinkle up, a cute little frown crossing his face. His ear twitches with a sudden wave of shyness. As a poorly-socialized runt, he doesn’t get compliments like that very often. Never, actually. “You think I’m pretty?”

Those dark eyes peer up at him through thick eyelashes, and Lance is reminded once again that he’s terrible. A terrible person, and a weak one. “W- Well, yeah. I mean… Y- You’re very pretty, y’know, for a person. Any person. I mean, beautiful even, as far as people go. Like all people. Of all ages. I’m not creepy! I swear I’m not creepy!”

Keith laughs, admiring the way Lance’s blush creeps up to his pretty, pointed ears. He’s never seen the charismatic Altean so awkward. It’s reassuring, in a way, to see him so flustered. It makes him seem closer, not so far above Keith.

He chooses not to mention that many Galra find their mate before their final growth. He imagines it’ll make the next few phoebs more interesting.

“I think you’re pretty, too,” Keith whispers. “Especially when you babble like that.”

This automatically leads to more babbling, until Lance finally takes a deep breath and says, ever so eloquently, “You dance good.”

Keith smiles, ear twitching shyly. “Not bad for some backwoods kit, huh?”

“Not bad for anybody, beloved.”

“Right.” Keith doesn’t buy it for a tick. He knows what an inconvenience he’s been-

“I literally do not care, Keith. I don’t care where you came from, or where you grew up- Well, no. that’s not true. I care about that very much. It’s a part of who you are. What I mean is-”

“Lance, it’s fine. You don’t have to-”

“What I mean is it doesn’t bother me. Not a thing about you bothers me.” Lance smiles, watching Keith’s ears hit that angle to indicate his embarrassment.

Lance had it wrong when Keith first arrived. Keith can be very expressive when he’s comfortable. Meaning that the only conclusion Lance can draw from what he’s currently looking at is that Keith is comfortable with him.

It causes some kind of unfamiliar, fluttering warmth in his chest. It feels like there’s a small bird hovering in his chest, tiny wings brushing against his insides. He feels guilty, standing here with this kit in his arms, his feelings threatening to burst out.

He’s not physically attracted to Keith, of course. It doesn’t matter how old he looks; attach the word ‘kit’ or any equivalent to someone, and Lance is immediately turned off. But beauty is subjective, and everyone one has some aesthetic that endears them. He finds Keith beautiful, and it makes his heart feel warm.

How is he supposed to feel, spending so much of his time with Keith, a complex blend of shy and fierce, timid and outgoing, impenetrable and vulnerable? It’s like the Ancients are playing some terrible trick on him, blessing him with something he can never truly have.

“Is something wrong?” Keith asks, head cocked. Those violet eyes shine so bright, mouth held in a tiny frown.

Lance smiles, because what else can he do? “Not a thing.”

He squeezes Keith’s hand, uses the one on his waist to pull them closer together. Keith feels the warmth between them, finds he doesn’t mind. He’s heard the worry in Lance’s words.

Keith understands the difficult position they’re in, knows exactly where that poorly hidden worry comes from, but with Lance guiding him so carefully, he doesn’t feel uncomfortable at all. He feels safe.

Safe enough to later groan along with the rest of the court when Lady Seran stomps in to complain about how someone looked at her kits funny. The poorly suppressed smile curling Lance’s lips feels like a reward.

When Keith takes Lance's hand on the arms of their thrones, it’s a matter of choice, not duty.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | The Decline of Western Civilization series (Spheeris, 1981-98)

Many years ago, before I sold out to the man, I have to admit I felt a certain attraction to punk music. No, I was never anywhere close to a full on punk (I was, and still am, extremely lame), but I have to admit the anti-establishment streak definitely resonated with me at a certain point of time. (Not that it still doesn’t, but in addition to selling out, I’ve softened with old age.) Like many people I’ve found appealing the political conscience and mix of influences of the Clash, or the boneheaded energy of the Ramones, but I also found my interest straying to hardcore punk. I remember the first time I listened to “Damaged II” by Black Flag and finding it unbelievably abrasive and foreign to my ears, yet it was something I couldn’t get out of my head, and returned to the song and the album it was from a few years later and appreciated it as one of the most forceful expressions of angst ever recorded. I remember first learning of bands like X and Fear, and seeing performance footage on YouTube and being thrilled by the rawness and danger, especially when they had to fight off their fans. This footage was from Penelope Spheeris’ cult classic documentary, The Decline of Western Civlization, which for years was not easily available but I have now finally seen in its entirety.

The movie is structured simply, moving from one band in the L.A. punk scene to another, interviewing them in their natural habitats and punctuating this with footage of their performances. Songs are presented in full so we can get the complete experience. The first band we see is Black Flag, then with frontman Ron Reyes. They are lively on stage but it’s interesting to note how different the energy was prior to the arrival of Henry Rollins, who brought a certain discipline and muscularity to their music. (One of the songs featured here, “Depression”, pops up again in Damaged, and the impact in the latter is noticeably more forceful.) The guys here come across as aimless and destitute, living in a decrepit church where they’ve turned the closets into makeshift bedrooms, seemingly losing money with every gig. But they are also quite affable (you can tell the lyrics of “TV Party” sprang from these minds) and do not have illusions about their situation, especially their difficulty in getting gags thanks to their rowdy fans. These scenes play like a moment frozen in time, right before the band’s most significant period would begin. We move next to the Germs, and these scenes play like a car accident in slow motion, with Darby Crash’s self-destructive tendencies on full display. This was a short time before his death, which occurred between completion of filming and the theatrical release (his image was featured heavily on the promotional materials), once again giving this a lost in time quality.

Next we go to the headquarters of Slash Magazine, the staff of which moonlights as a band called Catholic Discipline. The frontman complains about New Wave, claiming it doesn’t actually exist, yet they come across as downmarket New Wavers who are slumming it in the punk scene. Yet their love of music and their work is obvious and the frontman does possess a certain charisma. Much of what we see of the punk lifestyle is squalid and dismal, yet the music of X manages to poeticize this condition. Their unassuming demeanours during their interview contrast sharply with their vigour in their performances, during which they do their share of batting off overeager fans. We get a burst of political conviction when the Circle Jerks launch into the libertarian anthem “Red Tape”, but this dissipates by the time they start playing “I Just Want a Skank”. We spend some time with the Alice Bag Band and then are treated to a montage of interviews with punk fans. These are shot in monochrome with stark backgrounds and a single bulb providing the lighting, which has the effect of bringing them and their words into sharp relief. We hear similar stories again and again, of aimlessness and aggression, the subjects using the music both as an outlet for their frustrations and inspiration for violence.

Spheeris’ camera has been largely nonjudgmental, yet there’s an undeniable sadness in this sequence. But lest I make it sound that the movie makes punk seem uniformly depressing, the closing sequence provides a potent antidote. The electrifying final minutes of the film feature a performance by Fear (who are not interviewed). The atmosphere here is hostile, with the band riling up the audience with homophobic and misogynistic taunting and having to physically fight them off throughout their set list. It might be tempting to liken their shtick to cheap alt-rightish provocation, but I think that robs their music of the proper context. When almost all their peers and fans adopt an attitude of “everything sucks”, Fear’s ability to find the humour in that mentality is kind of refreshing. It also would ignore the sheer muscularity of the delivery, which almost turns the music into a form of violence. The film is undeniably a fascinating document, but while Spheeris may have had the good fortune of turning on her camera in the right place and right time (even if she had to pay to rent soundstages to film some of the performances), it’s moments like this of pure exhilaration that cement the film’s greatness.

Part II: The Metal Years takes place almost a decade later, with a drastically new context and perspective. This time the focus is on the L.A. metal scene, which was a dominant cultural force unlike hardcore punk ever was. And this time around Spheeris’ POV is less of impartial observation and more satirical condescension. Taken journalistically, the movie is obviously compromised, particularly in an interview of Ozzy Osbourne that’s misleadingly edited to make it look like he has the shakes. I wish the movie hadn’t done this, as Ozzy is a flamboyant enough presence that he’s already funny without needing to frame him into gags, something Spheeris acknowledged in an interview years after the fact. Ozzy and a few other veterans of the scene are not immune to metal culture’s innate ridiculousness (the movie’s biggest laugh for me was Spheeris’ deadpan reaction to Steven Tyler’s extended masturbation metaphor to describe the rock’n’roll lifestyle). It’s worth noting that Spheeris asked her subjects how they wanted to be filmed, leading to such choice setups as Gene Simmons in a lingerie store and Paul Stanley in a bed full of scantily clad models. (Lemmy allegedly took offense to how he was portrayed, claiming Spheeris shot him from afar to make him look stupid, but I don’t think he comes across badly. He’s low key and unassuming in a way that contrasts him from the other participants, at the very least in terms of appearance).

The structure of this entry is tighter, using snippets of different interviews to flesh out different ideas, exploring the decadence and excess of the music and the surrounding culture. We even hear from the anti-metal folks, particularly in one amusing scene where a woman describes the dangerous potential of metal fashion with the solemnity of a cop or anti-gun advocate describing illegal firearms. Performance footage is limited to brief excerpts, usually for comic relief (assless chaps and a limp attempt to set fire to a Soviet flag are highlights), although we do get an extended look at a sleazy stripping context. (The club owners featured seem as much into the metal lifestyle as some of the musicians and fans, in sharp contrast to the genial working class types featured in the first and third entries.) The most notorious segment of the film is the interview with Chris Holmes from W.A.S.P., who lounges in a pool in alcoholic self loathing, which probably went farther in deflating the excitement around the metal scene than any single moment. Yet like the first film, this one refuses to lock into too narrow view of its subject and rebounds with a Megadeth performance that goes a long way in showing that yes, this music can in fact be good. (I should say that I enjoy my share of hair metal, which Megadeth is decidedly not, but the songs earlier in the film don’t do the best job of selling the genre. Although anything would look lame with assless chaps.) This movie is more obviously flawed than the original, but I can’t help but kind of love it. The fact is that the metal musicians and fans, despite being somewhat boneheaded, are also full of good vibes and fun to hang around (more so than the self-serious punk fans in the original), and the movie is quite slick and stylish by documentary standards, which makes the film true to its subject matter in a a way. I mean, you open the movie with Motorhead and I’m half won over already, and I haven’t stopped thinking (and smiling) about it since I’ve seen it.

The good vibes don’t carry over to Part III, which follows a group of homeless gutter punks in L.A. around another decade later. Once again there’s a change in context and perspective, with Spheeris coming across as more compassionate and maternal. The musicians here offer a more sobering, grounded presence. The veterans here, Keith Morris and Rick Wilder, come across as survivors more than anything, particularly the latter with his skeletal, emaciated appearance. The music this time around is almost beside the point, although we do get the sense that it offers the main subjects one of their only sources of relief. Their stories are similar. Broken homes. Forced onto the streets. Substance abuse. The movie feels like extended versions of the Darby Crash scenes and the interviews from the original, but with the grim consequences covered in the final moments, and the film’s sense of despair is alleviated only by the compassion Spheeris brings to the material. I can’t see myself returning to this as readily as it’s more downbeat and less dynamic than the previous movies, but it is undeniably moving, and had a profound effect on Spheeris as well, who decided to become a foster parent after her experience making this movie.

[justheretobreakthings]

Kings Over Aces - Chapter 1

(Next Chapter)

Word Count: 3,176 Read on AO3

Story Summary:

The Voltron Coalition has an alliance in the works with the resource-rich planet of Yuipra, and it’s the paladins’ job to keep on the king’s good side while the deal is made. That shouldn’t shouldn’t be too great a challenge; after all, they’ve courted plenty of planets before for the sake of alliances.

Unfortunately, things are made much more complicated when the king takes a special interest in Keith.

Fic content warnings for attempted rape/non-con.

“Keith, for the heavens’ sake, elbows off the table.”

“Hm?”

In the seat beside him, Allura sighed and tapped at the aforementioned elbow, which Keith had been resting on the tablecloth as he idly drummed one of his spoons against the edge of his plate. “Oh,” he whispered, “Sorry.”

“Honestly,” Allura said with a shake of her head. “How many dinners is Voltron going to have to get through before you finally start remembering your table etiquette?”

“Pretty sure it differs from planet to planet,” Keith pointed out.

“There are certain constants that are nigh universal at an elegant dinner. This is one. And while we’re on the subject, that spoon of yours - ”

“Right, right,” Keith muttered, dropping the spoon with a clatter that echoed loudly enough in the spacious dining hall to send all eyes on the banquet table in his direction and make him wince. “Just bored.”

“Yeah, speaking of etiquette,” Lance spoke up from across the table, “Isn’t it sort of improper to keep guests waiting this long for dinner? I’m hungry.”

“Lance,” Allura said through gritted teeth. “Don’t complain.” She gestured with a flick of her head toward further down the table, where the gathered Yuipran nobles were seated, chatting idly amongst themselves. “We’re trying to make a good impression.”

“They’re not listening,” Lance said.

“You don’t know that. Besides, their king was probably simply delayed over some administrative matter or something of the sort. I’m sure the meal will begin soon.”

Keith let out a weary breath before reaching past his plate to take a sip from his water, the only refreshment the guests had been given to tide them over before the meal proper started. He was really starting to get tired of this king.

Yuipra would be a great addition to the coalition, he knew. They were the central power of a massive and flourishing planet system, and they had vast supplies of food, construction materials, and military power to spare. Coran had told them that Yuipra had had a strong alliance with Altea thousands of years before, and the planet had only grown more prosperous in the time since last he’d been around.

Of course, that had been ten thousand years ago, and the alliance had long since dissolved, so now they were tasked with reviving it, generations of rulers later and without Altea around to be part of the deal. Still, Allura and Coran assured the team that the planet’s interests and their shared history would tempt them toward the Voltron coalition.

Originally, they had intended to hash out an alliance over a diplomatic meeting, but somehow along the lines it was established that the current Yuipran king was interested in something a bit more showy. So, a particularly elaborate airshow had been arranged, followed by a parade and a meet-and-greet with various members of the kingdom’s nobility, none of which the king himself had been present for, and now was this extravagant banquet.

Needless to say, the paladins were all more than worn out with festivities by this point, and they just wanted to eat.

“Keith, you’re slouching,” Allura hissed, and Keith sat up straight with a scowl.

“Pidge is slouching too,” he pointed out, and Pidge glared at Keith across the table as she adjusted her own posture. “How come you’re not getting onto her about her table manners?”

“Pidge, don’t stick out your tongue,” Allura said as Pidge did just that. “And because she wasn’t slouching as badly as you were. Besides, as the black paladin, you’re the de facto leader of Voltron right now. The first impression you make is the one that matters most.”

Keith sighed and let his eyes roam down the table toward Shiro, who was sitting patiently, quietly, hands laid neatly on his lap as he waited for the king to arrive. Allura would have had no reason to worry about him making a good first impression if he were still leading Voltron.

Reason number ten thousand why Shiro should be piloting Black, not Keith, he thought sourly to himself. But that was an argument they’d already had a few dozen times over with no change.

“Keith.”

Keith whipped his head around to snap at Allura, but realized quickly why she had whispered his name. The others were all standing up from their seats. He hastened to join, glancing toward the end of the hall where the doors had opened and the king was finally making his entrance.

And quite the entrance it was. The doors, each reaching nearly to the ceiling of the banquet hall that was easily three stories tall, had been thrown wide open, and the king entered flanked by three guards on either side of him, each in gold-plated armor polished to a gleam. The king himself was dressed even more gaudily, complete with a bejeweled crown and a very plush cape that one guard held in his hands to keep from trailing on the floor. The lining of his formal gown was just as well-decorated, and the sleek, shoulder-length cut of his dark hair left no strand out of place.

The Yuiprans were humanoid in form, if a half foot taller and with limbs just disproportionately long enough to be uncanny at a first glance. It shouldn’t have made for particularly graceful movement, but the king’s walk was practically a glide as he made his way to the head of the table and smiled at the assembled guests, slightly pointed teeth beaming alabaster white against the smooth, somewhat silvery Yuipran skin. Keith noticed that the king was surprisingly young-looking, not sharing the wrinkles and age spots borne by most of the other nobles at the banquet.

“Not bad at all,” he heard Lance mutter, and he glanced across the table toward the other paladin, who met his eyes with a raised brow and a smirk, before frowning curiously back up at the king. He supposed, objectively, that the man was good-looking, in an overly polished sort of way. Allura shushed Lance before he could say any more, although it was unnecessary, as the king was reaching his seat just feet away from the paladins, and even Lance wasn’t foolish enough to gossip about the king’s appearance this close to him.

“His majesty, King Olren of Yuipra,” one of the guards beside him announced in a booming voice that Keith was surprised didn’t blow out his eardrum.

“Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, honored guests,” the king said, still with that broad smile. “I thank you all for your presence this evening, and for your patience. I trust that you have all enjoyed today’s entertainment, provided to you by the legendary paladins of Voltron.” He began clapping, and the other nobles quickly joined in the polite applause before he continued, “Depending on how this evening goes, this may be their first appearance of many. Our kingdom is on the verge of an historic alliance with the Voltron coalition, in defiance of the tyrannical Galra empire.” He led another round of applause, and Keith fidgeted in his stance. He just wanted to eat.

And as if reading his mind, the king continued, “But of course, that is a matter for later in the evening. I have kept you waiting for long enough. May I present to you, your dinner.”

The king clapped again, and for a moment Keith was worried that he was going to waste their time with yet another ovation, but fortunately this one seemed to be a cue for the servers to enter the banquet hall through the front entrance, bearing carts piled high with dishes whose scents had Keith’s mouth watering.

The food was passed out efficiently, and within a minute all the dishes were arranged along the table and the guests had begun digging in and passing the foods around to help themselves to servings. Olren waited until the servers had begun clearing out before taking his own seat, and the instant he did, one of his guards picked up the plate in front of him and moved down the table to start filling it.

“I do sincerely apologize for my tardiness,” Olren said, nodding to another guard who grabbed a jug from the table and started filling his goblet. “I’m afraid personal matters came up that required my attention, and following that, there seemed to be some delays in preparations for this feasts. I hope you do not think poorly of me for it.”

“Not at all,” Allura said, plastering a smile on her face. “The food looks excellent, your majesty.”

“And tastes even better,” he said. “The cooks do so spoil us at these events. Not, of course, that I would ever have it any other way,” he added with a little laugh.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Keith muttered, glancing at his oversized crown.

“Come again?” the king said.

Keith held back a wince as Allura kicked his foot beneath the table. “Keith here was just commenting on your lovely ensemble,” she said.

“Ah, yeah,” Keith agreed. “It’s, uh, very nice. Shiny.”

“Well, thank you,” Olren said, his smile broadening as he reached up to pat the crown. “You know, this is in fact the same crown that has been passed down along the family line since our old alliance with Alfor. Of course, some work has been done on it over the centuries. It’s a great deal more elaborate than it once was.”

“Doesn’t it get, like, heavy?” Keith asked.

“I suppose it would were I not accustomed to wearing it. Besides, a bit of a sore neck is a small price to pay for regality, is it not? Finery is not just for looking pretty, it is a display of our planet’s prosperity.”

Keith shrugged. “I dunno. I figure what a planet does is a lot more important than what they have.”

He was kicked again under the table as Allura hastily said, “Not that we don’t see the value in your prosperity. After all, we are in need of your resources.” She emphasized the last bit with a glance toward Keith. “I assure you, we don’t mean to criticize you for ostentation or - ”

“Really, think nothing of it,” Olren said. “I think we all feel at times that all the decorative baubles can feel a bit silly. Wouldn’t give up my favorite gems for the world, but I’m open to debate on their merit.” He laughed. “Come now, princess, mustn’t be so tense. If anything, I admire your paladin’s candor. It’s all too lacking in court at times.”

“Well, you really can’t count on Keith’s opinion for fashion and decorations and stuff anyhow,” Lance spoke up. “Keeps his whole room pretty much bare and refuses to participate in makeover nights. Me, though, I’ve always had an eye for aesthetic.”

“Do you, now?” said Olren.

“Oh yeah. I can appreciate a truly beautiful outfit, you see. And let’s talk about this gorgeous dining hall, right? I have a bit of a flair for interior design myself.”

“All you do is stick selfies all over your wall,” Keith said. “How is that interior design?”

Lance scowled. “Hey, you don’t get to have opinions on anything related to things looking nice. I swear,” he added to Olren. “This guy’s morning routine consists of two ticks with a comb and nothing else.”

“Well, there’s something to be said for natural beauty,” Olren said, casting Keith a grin and a quick wink. The latter furrowed his brow.

“Speaking of natural beauty,” Allura said, leaning between the two of them, for which Keith was grateful - the Yuiprans seemed to blink only half as much as humans, and Olren’s stare was beginning to get a little weird - “We flew past some absolutely gorgeous forests en route to your capital. How do you manage to maintain the natural landscape so near to a hub of industry?”

Olren beamed at her and quickly flew into an explanation, and Keith let his mind drift as he methodically moved food from plate to mouth. He let his eyes wander along the table to check on the other paladins. Hunk seemed to be focused entirely on the food, despite a noblewoman at his side tapping his shoulder as she spoke to him. Keith had to admire Hunk’s resilience; he himself would have slapped her hand away after a couple of ticks of that annoyance. Pidge had a group of nobles enthralled by whatever story she was telling, and although she was just far enough down the table that Keith couldn’t quite make out what she was saying, the way she talked with her hands - occasionally sending a bit of food flying off her spoon - meant she was enthusiastic about the topic, whatever it was. Electronics or physics, were Keith’s guesses. She could infodump on either for hours on end without pausing to catch her breath.

Shiro was deep in his own conversation too, with a couple of nobles across the table, although he was much more subdued than Pidge. Keith couldn’t imagine that Shiro was exactly having the time of his life here either. At events like this where the goal was coalition recruitment, he and Allura usually took on the bulk of discussing specs and logistics with their potential allies, and although Shiro didn’t make a big deal out of anything, Keith could remember how much moaning and groaning Shiro had done on those occasions where he’d been roped into attending fundraisers for the Garrison. This can’t have been very different.

After a minute or so of Keith idly watching him, Shiro finally glanced his way, and Keith made a show of yawning, expecting Shiro to perhaps give him a little smile and subtle eye roll, something to say, Yes, this is boring, we’ll all complain together once we’re back at the ship. Instead, though, Shiro just quirked a brow and tapped at the crook of his flesh arm with his metal arm.

Keith tilted his head, and Shiro just tapped again. “What?” Keith mouthed.

“Elbows,” Shiro mouthed back.

Oh. Right. He quickly took his elbows off the table; he hadn’t even realized he’d moved them. He turned to mouth an apology, but Shiro had already returned to his conversation. With a little huff, Keith jabbed his fork back into his food.

For a while, he managed to let the conversations drift around him, while his focus stayed on the meal. It was slow going, as the meat was much chewier than he would have liked - the Yuiprans definitely made good use of their sharp teeth. His attention was only pulled away when he overheard Allura say his name. “Hm?” he said, turning to her and hastily trying to swallow his bite of food.

“She wasn’t calling you, Mullet,” Lance said. “We’re just talking about weapon specialties, she said you use a sword.”

“Oh,” said Keith. “Yeah.”

“So you two both specialize in fairly close-range combat then, yes?” Olren said, eyes moving between Allura and Keith. “I must say, I’ve no end of admiration for those who are able to engage in such a thing. Yuipra’s own military has only small numbers of infantry soldiers, but I can only imagine the bravery required to go headfirst into battle that way.”

“Well, it’s not like ranged combat isn’t intense in its own way,” Lance said. “Much harder to know where your enemy’s next strike is coming from. And riflery, that takes a lot of discipline and patience to master, especially in the heat of battle.”

“I suppose you have a point,” Olren said as Lance paused to reach for his drink. He smirked before continuing, “Perhaps it just comes down more to the fact that - if I may be so bold as to say so - I quite respect a man who can so deftly handle his sword.”

Lance let out a little squawk that turned into a coughing fit, some of his drink spilling out over the edge of his glass. Keith raised a brow at him, but Olren plowed on. “Have you any other specializations, Keith? It is Keith, yes?”

“Yeah, Keith,” he said, turning back to Olren. “Uh, nah, mostly just blades. We’ve all got a good handle on aerial combat by now too, though.”

“Ah, yes, I caught some of your earlier show,” Olren said. “You’re all quite talented pilots.”

“Thanks,” Lance said, leaning back into the conversation. His voice held the slightest rasp left over from his coughing fit. “Don’t like to brag, but we’ve gotten pretty rave reviews. Think I’ve heard the word ‘miraculous’ tossed around a bit.”

“I’m not sure I recall hearing that word precisely,” Allura said. “But I must agree. The Lions are nothing short of a miracle of engineering.”

“Well, okay, but I was actually talking about my flying.”

Keith settled back into his seat, happy to let Allura and Lance take over the conversation again, even if, as the meal progressed, the king did try to pull Keith back into it a few times with questions aimed at him specifically. He managed to never trip over words, and Allura never sent him the disapproving glance that meant he’d accidentally said something rude, so all in all, he figured he could write the evening off as a success.

Of course, that didn’t mean it wasn’t still a relief when the meal finally drew to an end and the servers began clearing the dishes away, the guests beginning to make their goodbyes.

“A pity we could not continue further,” Olren sighed amidst the sounds of chairs scraping along the floor as people began leaving their seats. “It feels to me that this meal has passed us by in mere ticks.”

“Uh-huh,” Keith said, as a courtesy only; to him, these events - feasts and banquets and all the other social obligations to which the paladins were constantly dragged - always seemed to last an eternity. He was more than ready to flop into bed and sleep off the meal.

“Well, I’ve no doubt we can find time soon to pick up our fascinating discussions,” Olren said. “For the time being, I bid you all a good night. I and my establishment will be in touch shortly to go over further details about your coalition efforts.”

“We look forward to it, your majesty,” Allura said with a quick bob of her head.

With a final smile and bow, Olren began his exit, gliding around the table toward a side entrance that two guards held open for him. As he passed behind the seats, Keith felt a sudden tickle at his neck, a chill as what he could swear were fingertips brushed playfully over the skin. He whirled around in his seat, and Olren met his eyes, casting him a smirk and coyly waving his fingers at him before turning around and striding to the door.

“Keith?” Keith turned as Allura prodded lightly at his arm. “Are you coming?”

“Yeah, sorry,” he said. He rolled his shoulders and pushed his chair in before joining the others in their exit, trying to ignore the strange prickling in his spine.

[enig998]

Kidge fic - Victorian AU

Here’s the fic I promised. :D

———————

After the sudden disappearance of her father and brother, along with their family friend, Takashi Shirogane, during a business trip, Katie Holt runs away from her small village to the vast but mysterious streets of London to find her loved ones.

Disguising herself as a boy, Katie— now Pidge— takes up a small job as a newspaper boy wondering and searching for any sort of information or clues she can find on her family.

She manages to have several useful contacts over the next few months around the city, knowing almost everything and everyone. Her favourite contacts are Rolo, Nyma and Beezer. This in turn, earns her the title ‘The Way-Finder’ among the working class and some of the nobles as well— lost something/someone? Leave it to Pidge!

Lance and Hunk are her most frequent customers; she sees them almost everyday. The former often comes frantically running towards Pidge, begging the newspaper boy to find a particular cat named Green. Said cat wasn’t exactly owned by the lanky nobleman, he claimed it belonged to a very important friend; he made sure to keep his blabbering mouth in check when Pidge often tried to switch the topic towards Green’s owner, Lance had yet to crack under her intense interrogation.

It was never hard finding Green though, in fact, the cat found her most of the time until it became apparent that whenever Lance noticed the feline missing, he’d make a buzz for Pidge.

“It’s as though she turns invisible for a couple of seconds!” Lance complained while he glared at Green who was comfortably curled on Pidge’s lap, “The other cats are definitely a handful but recently Green just seems on edge to get away from me and see you. It is ironic, considering the fact that Red is considered the more moody of the bunch; I’m surprised Green beat him to it.”

Turns out, Lance babysits five cats for his so-called ‘important’ friend; all of them are named after a colour: Black, Red, Green, Blue and Yellow.

Hunk met Pidge when he was out on a walk on a fortunate sunny day. He noticed the newspaper boy practically ogling the latest factory machines that we’re being experimented on in the warehouse the engineer worked in.

When he approached Pidge, Hunk only meant to start a small conversation with the boy, but in a matter of seconds the two were enthusiastically talking and sharing their interest and ideas on the latest forms of engineering and communications. The latter was already best friends with Lance and the two often walked by her path to greet her a good day. Out of the two boys, Hunk is the only one who secretly knows Pidge is a girl.

Even after a year of staying in London, Pidge’s search for her family has barely made any progress— it frustrates her how easy it is to find something for someone else but not being able to do the same for own herself.

Enter Keith Kogane, a young man from the infamous Galra noble family asking Pidge’s help to find his brother, Takashi Shirogane.

“That’ll cost ya’ ��100, Mr. Kogane,” Pidge had already held up her hand right in front of his face.

“What?!” Keith spluttered out, “That price is absurd! I heard from Hunk that you charge someone only £5 every time you search for his cat.”

“Do you want me to find him for you or not?” Pidge shot back without missing a beat. Keith countered with a frightening glare before the two went on to a full argument about the payment.

In the end, Keith only gave Pidge £50 as an advance payment, while promising that the latter would receive the other half of the fee once the job was done.

Despite keeping her face calm and collected, Pidge’s mind was reeling, there was someone else also looking for Shiro and considering the boy’s heritage, this could open several locked doors for her in the upper ranks. Plus, since the boy was ridiculously rich, she might as well exploit him a little; she hasn’t had a decent meal in weeks because of slow business lately.

Mr. Kogane— who later allows Pidge to call him Keith, is the only customer the latter has had where the two have to work together. Pidge always works solo but she really did need Keith’s help to get some questions answered.

While working together, Keith starts suspecting Pidge’s true gender. He was known for being very observant in his surroundings and everything about the way Pidge walked, talked and appeared just screamed ‘female’ to him even though those hints were as subtle as a spec of dust on a table, hidden by the sun’s rays making it almost impossible to figure out if it’s there or not. He even noticed that on a couple of occasions, the newspaper ‘boy’ would stare longingly at the dresses that were held out on display.

A month passed where a lot of strange events took place; Shiro was mysteriously found unconscious around the the river Thames with a strange prosthetic right arm and just about no memories as to what happened or how he ended up there. While Pidge was happy finding Shiro, it hurt knowing that she still couldn’t find anything on her father and brother, nor could she reveal her true identity to him yet. After recovering him, the trio were suddenly caught by royal guards, instead of them demanding any sort of explanation, they simply escorted the three to the royal palace, where none other than Queen Allura herself had asked for their audience. Pidge could barely register the fact that Lance and Hunk were already at the royal court with them, she was still trying to grasp the concept of why she was here. Even Keith was in a daze.

Pidge glanced at Lance for an explanation before Green suddenly came running towards her and rubbed her body against the former’s legs.

A soft giggle escaped the queen’s lips, “So this is the one who you often run off to?” The white haired royal looked at Green while asking the question.

In response, the cat let out a adorable meow before setting herself comfortably on Pidge’s right foot.

So that’s who Lance’s ‘important’ friend was...

It wasn’t horrifying hearing the queen talk about an assassination attempt on her life a few days before, what was truly horrifying was hearing that her missing family were taken prisoners by them for human trafficking. Upon Lance’s recommendation, Queen Allura asked the five attendees to help solve this case; killing two yalmors with one meteorite, that’s what the royal advisor, Coran, added, whatever that meant.

“It’s simple”, Lance gestured with his right hand, “Shiro so far has had the most contact with them, plus since he’s also from the military so that makes him a huge asset.” Said man seemed to stifle slightly but held a firm posture, even though he was in a much worse condition than everyone combined.

“I’m your ticket to just about any and every party and event London has to offer,” Lance boasted before winking at the queen, “I would also like to add that I was an excellent shooter back in my military day, still am,”

His hand gestured towards Hunk, “This fine gentleman not only excels at cooking and engineering but is also a well qualified medic for the field,” the large man blushed at the compliment.

“Mr. Hotshot here,” Lance pointed while closing his hand to a fist and pointing only with his thumb continued, “also has military experience but his connections with the Galra household are extremely valuable,” the nobleman grumble while glaring at Keith.

The black haired boy could only stare at Lance in confusion, he leaned towards Pidge whispering, “... Am I supposed to know him? He seems really mad”.

Apparently he wasn’t quiet enough because Lance heard him, “You and I were in the same rank under Iverson!” He replied exasperatedly, this time pointed his index finger at Kogane, “You and I were always competing with one another!”

“We were?” Keith only arched an eyebrow.

“YES WE WERE— NEVERMIND THAT THEN!” The lanky boy cleared his throat to stop his little tantrum, “moving on. Lastly, we have Pidge, the one any only Way-finder of London. There is nothing he can’t find around these streets!” Lance ended with an excited grin.

Queen Allura stayed silent for a few moments before she asked the groups if they wanted to take up the job. Pidge was the first to accept; her family could finally be found, there is no way she could back down from this.

Before Pidge and the rest of the group were allowed to take the guest rooms of the palace— upon the queen’s insistence— Coran called behind them.

“You all get yourselves well rested nice and tight before starting the day off tomorrow— especially you Shiro”, he spoke, “Meanwhile, I shall make sure the royal servants fetch you some dresses Pidge, can’t have a lovely lady like you solving our case in ragged clothes— Oh! We’ll get some fine clothings for you as well Shiro!”

No one heard the last part; they were all too busy trying to put together ‘dresses’, ‘Pidge’ and ‘lady’ in one sentence. The court room exploded after five seconds.

Shiro was the first to speak after he finally looked at Pidge, “... Wait a minute, Katie?! Is that you?”

“Pidge is a what!?” Even the queen lost her regal demeanour.

“WHA— YOU’RE A GIRL?!” Lance was being Lance.

“Guess your secret’s out, sorry about that Pidge— no Katie? ... What do you want us to call you now that everyone knows you’re a girl?” Hunk’s reaction didn’t help calming the girl’s nerves.

Lance head instantly turned towards Hunk, “Wait, you already knew about it?!”

Keith simply nodded is head, so his assumptions were true.

Pidge could only turn to glare at Coran for his mistake, causing the man to take a step back for fear of facing the girl’s wrath, “I didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret!” He said it while holding up his arms.

“PIDGE YOU HAVE GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!!!” Pidge sighed at Lance’s overreaction.

It took three whole months for the case to finally be resolved after figuring out who they were dealing with; surprise surprise, the Galra household’s main branch. That involved meddling with the intimidating Zarkon, the insidious Lotor and the terrifying Haggar; all three family member’s plan involved nothing less than world domination.

During that time, Pidge was also able to find her brother and father and returned home promptly after her long goodbyes were settled with Team Voltron— another stranger idea suggested (and ironically accepted among everyone) by Coran.

Life was peaceful again for Pidge, despite receiving a year’s worth of chores as a punishment for what she made her poor mother go through when she ran away.

A couple of days later, a parcel arrives at the Holt’s doorstep and on top of the package are several letters attached to it for Pidge.

By opening the parcel, the young lady was able to find a beautiful green dress with hints of gold on the edges. It was simply the most beautiful piece of clothing Pidge had ever seen. Not even the dresses that the queen had offered her could compare to this one— technically she didn’t dare wearing any of those dresses even after her secret was out, she still had to hide her cover among her contacts.

Pidge next opened the biggest and the most heaviest letter first, inside she was surprised to find £50 that came rolling out so suddenly. The girl stared dumbfounded at the large sum before her attention shifted towards the other letters.

Lance’s letters promised many future visits, some even claimed Queen Allura and Coran might join as well. The queen and her advisor offered her the best wishes for her future; the former even asked if the two could converse like close friends and meet from time to time. Hunk asked her if she was willing to come back to London any time soon, he wanted to show her the latest factory mechanism he was working on as well as some new dishes that made the girl’s mouth water. Shiro wrote about his recovery going well with time but complained immensely about a brilliant but obnoxious scientist, Dr. Slav, who was willing to build him a new prosthetic arm.

Keith’s letter felt more like a telegram,it only seemed to acknowledge Pidge’s fee for completing her job by finding Shiro; nothing more, nothing less.

Pidge was a bit disappointed seeing how despite the partnership, Keith probably didn’t want anything else to do with her.

After a moment she gathered all her letters and put them safely in her chest before she picked up the dress to show it to her family. Suddenly, a secret letter fell off from inside the dress on the floor; it was from Lance. After reading it’s contents, Pidge couldn’t help but smile through a whole week’s worth of chores— she was practically glowing in her mother’s eyes.

It was Keith who asked for Lance’s advice on dresses.

It was Keith who blushed as red as a tomato when he chose and bought the green dress for her.

It was Keith who was now often joked around with for frequently asking everyone else about her well being.

And it was Keith who was ‘secretly’ making plans for a party or two— even though he despised the very idea of social gatherings — so that she and her family could visit London again.

‘... He practically wrote the longest letter out of all of us combined but suddenly turned shy and decided against sending it. Lucky for us Pidge, I managed to get my hands on it!’

Pidge could practically feel his excitement from the letters.

‘Who knew Mullet head could be such a romantic sap; I bid you good luck with him Pidge.

Your partner in justice and fantastic sharpshooter,

Lance

P.S. the cats miss you, especially Green’

[shastelly]

Summer - March Klance Prompts from MonthlyKlance - Day 24

Day 24 of March in May...yep...I will not give up!

Also this is some serious fluffy nonsense just so you know before you start :).  The paladins need a vacation :)

Day 24 – Summer

 "Where did they even find those jackets?"  Keith asked bewildered.

 "At the space mall."  Shiro answered in a similar state of disbelief.

 "I fear we may have pushed them too hard."  Allura stuttered.

 "It does seem some downtime might be in order."  Coran nodded flinching as Lance pulled out a blonde wig and put it on for the next "scene" in the musical the youngest paladins had decided to put on for their amusement.

 "Lance isn't good as a blonde."  Keith commented.  "The poodle skirt fine, but the wig is just off."

 "I'm not sure whatever it is that Pidge is wearing is much better.  How many socks did they stuff in her shirt?" Shiro blinked.

 "More than Lance's."  Keith answered.  

 "You'd think Hunk would have taken off the headband, it doesn't match his jacket at all."  Allura puzzled.

 "I'm having trouble keeping track of which part they are playing at which time."  Shiro admitted.

 "I'm pretty sure Pidge is Rizzo.  Lance is Sandy and Kenickie.  Hunk is Danny and Frenchie and maybe Marty.  I'm really unclear on the other parts.  I think they keep forgetting to change clothes."  Keith muttered, earning a surprised look from Shiro who didn't think he'd ever seen Grease before.

 ***

 "Lance, does dance rather well though."  Coran pointed out as he was switching wigs between playing Sandy and Cha Cha.

 The others hummed in agreement, trapped watching the youngest three sing and dance their hearts out.  To be honest for an impromptu musical with no instruments, sets, scripts from memory and a cast of three they were really doing a pretty good job.

 ***

 "Are those real cars?  Pidge!" Shiro hollered over the revving engines, before Hunk and Pidge flew off down the hall in their race.

 Keith laughed.

 ***

 "Is the message of this show that you should change yourself to match your friends?!"  Allura asked outraged.

 Shiro and Keith were not capable of responding given Lance's appearance in the black leather outfit.

 ***

 Coran had happily joined the end song and the four of them were giggling and singing about always being together.

 Shiro, Allura, and Keith sat watching them dance away, clapping mechanically.  

 "So, vacation?"  Shiro asked still staring straight ahead.

 "Vacation."  Allura agreed.

 "Leather."  Keith muttered watching Lance dance away.

 ***

 And so, a week later…

 "I have an announcement."  Allura stood at the head of the table after dinner.  "As it turns out we have no scheduled missions for the next three days and we are near a resort planet that I used to visit as a child called Sabra."

 "What?"  Hunk blinked.

 "I have arranged for us, barring any emergency of course, to have rooms at the very same resort I used to visit.  And no worries, Coran went and made the reservations himself to assure that it is still as nice as it was ten thousand years ago."  Allura smiled at them.

 "Actually, it's nicer.  Apparently, it was rebuilt recently and is the best of the hotels on the shore." Coran assured.

 "Shore?"  Lance asked in awe.

 "Yes, the resort sits on one of the planets many oceans.  Each has a different color.  This one is lavender and was always my favorite.  The entire planet survives on revenue from visiting tourists.  It is considered a non-conflict zone; no weapons are allowed on the planet.  Oh Coran, is the carnival still on the beach?"  Allura asked a childlike gleam in her eyes.

 "Yes, indeed Princess, bigger and better than ever."

 "A beach?  Ocean? Carnival?"  Lance's eyes blinked open and closed like a doll.

 "I think you broke Lance," Pidge snarked.

 "I am soooooo excited!"  Hunk grabbed Lance's arm which seemed to snap him out of his shock.  He in turn grabbed Hunk and they were soon screaming and jumping up and down.

 "Oh, I need swim trunks?  Coran?" Lance stopped jumping and turned dramatically to Coran.

 "No worries, there is an entire section of resort wear in the castle storage, you may come and choose what you like."  He answered with a dramatic twirl of his moustache.  "I will, of course, be able to provide guidance on what is really fashionable."

 Lance jumped up and he and Coran were off and ranting about packing for the trip for everyone.  

 "Don't worry guys, I'll keep an eye on them."  Hunk offered with a wave and headed after them.

 As it turns out someone should have had an eye on Allura as well.

 "Exactly what is in here?"  Shiro asked exasperated as he lifted the universe's heaviest suitcase/trunk into the shuttle they were using.

 "Industrial size hair dryer."  Pidge muttered trying to cram another of the princess’s cases into the back.

 "A princess needs to be prepared for all circumstances."  Allura answered primly batting her eyes before laughing and helping pack another huge trunk into the shuttle.

 "Is there a weight restriction?"  Hunk asked in awe.

 "This is fine."  Coran nodded. "You should have seen her mother pack for vacation."  Coran shook his head then.  "We had to take three shuttles to fit the family and their luggage."

 "Sounds fair."  Lance smiled at Allura.  His own trunk was much smaller, but still twice as large as any of the others. Lance had on a huge pair of blue sunglasses, a white button-down shirt and blue and red shorts that hit near his knee. He'd managed to find some kind of Altean sandals that were brown and wrapped around his feet and ankles.

 "Shut up, tourist."  Pidge snarked.  She was wearing a green t-shirt and long khaki shorts and the Altean equivalent of flip flops.

 "Be nice you two."  Hunk's own bright yellow tank, white shorts, and flip flops made them the post card for beach travelers.

 "Are we ready?"  Coran laughed, his own blue and orange striped attire looked like a bathing suit from the 1800's or something.   He even had a blue hat to go with it.

 "Shotgun!"  Lance yelled.

 ***

 Two varga later…

 They had parked the castle in an asteroid belt, hidden from sensors and well protected. The planet had assured them it would be safe to orbit, but they were unwilling to leave it unmanned like that and they had all deserved the vacation.  However, the three varga shuttle ride was turning out to be a little much for them all in a single shuttle, crammed into two rows of seats due to someone's excessive packing.

 "I called shotgun.  It isn't fair."  Lance complained for the fifth time from the backseat where he was shoved between Keith and Hunk.  Pidge was sitting on Hunk's lap her legs stretched over the top of them.

 "Sorry, Lance, the grown-ups got the front seat."  Allura echoed back, not sounding the least bit sorry.

 "Like you are so much older!"  Lance huffed.

 "At least 10,000 years."  Allura quipped.

 "That does not count.  Keith, quit touching me!"  Lance elbowed his neighbor.

 "Exactly how am I supposed to do that.  We are packed right against each other."  Keith growled elbowing back.

 "Would you quit!  I'm already dying back here.  Shiro, are you sure you can't turn up the air?  I have a Pidge blanket."  Hunk whined.

 "It's all the way up, Hunk, and we are freezing up here.  Coran matches his hat."  Shiro sighed.

 Coran did look an interesting shade of blue just then.

 Pidge shifted in her sleep tickling Lance's legs with her shorts.  He laughed loudly and jerked at the sensation, elbowing both Keith and Hunk in the process.  The other two boys snarled.  Hunk shoved Lance so hard he ran into Keith again.  Keith jabbed a sharp elbow into Lance's stomach making him pitch forward and sliding Pidge's legs into the back of the seat in front of them.

 "STOP KICKING THE SEAT!"  Shiro was close to losing his shit.

 "Ow."  Lance breathed giving dirty looks to both Hunk and Keith.

 Pidge snored and rolled back over onto all of them.

 Lance scooted back and spread his elbows and legs as wide as he could pushing against the other boys.

 "Enough with the man spread, Lance."  Hunk griped shoving his leg over and leaning on him.

 "I'm squished.  You guys keep pushing me around."  Lance growled.

 "Then stay in the middle."  Keith stomped on his foot.

 "OOW!"  Lance yelled and drove an elbow at Keith's middle, which he blocked and pinched Lance's arm.  "OWW! QUIT!  You guys are being jerks!"

 "IF YOU DON'T QUIT FIGHTING BACK THERE I SWEAR I WILL PULL THIS DAMN THING OVER!" Shiro yelled from the front seat.

 Keith, Hunk, and Lance all shared a look before they burst out laughing at him. Shiro groaned.  

 Pidge sat up and yawned, "Are we there yet?"

 ***

 The resort and beach were everything that Allura had promised.  The resort hotel stood fifty stories high, reflective glass windows covered the building.  The pale purple water of the ocean washed onto the shore in waves that had Lance and Hunk yelling about surfing.  The white sands of the beach were pristine and stretched as far as they could see. When they landed the pod several different types of aliens all dressed in the same crisp white uniforms rushed out and began moving their luggage.  Allura said that they had condos reserved along the beach.  They were given three small vehicles that looked like hovering golf carts.  They received a map of the resort with locations and times for activities and a reminder that there was a feast planned in their honor for that evening.

 Shiro loaded into one cart with Allura and Pidge.  Coran tried to take the wheel on the next, but Keith beat him, which prompted Lance to take the third wheel with Hunk at his side and challenge Keith to a race. Unfortunately, or fortunately as it may be, the carts were very slow, and the race was a pathetic tie.

 Allura and Pidge took the first condo, Shiro and Keith the second.  That left Hunk, Coran and Lance in the third.

 Lance walked in enjoying the beach themed decorations, of course it was all in purples and not blues, which he would have preferred, but they were soft colors with bright white accents and wave designs over everything, even some oddly square shells. He noticed two beds and a couch in the main area.

 "I call the couch."  He announced making it sound like a preference, and not a preemptive move to avoid being stuck with it, as the youngest in a family of five this was not an unusual arrangement for him.  Hunk gave him a grateful smile aware of what he was doing.

 "Oh, good choice."  Coran crowed. He pressed a button and the couch cushion lifted to float about five feet from the ground and fluffed out to look like a cloud bed.  "These are supposed to be wonderful to sleep on, though, I'll admit I don't relish the idea of floating in my sleep."

 "It's great."  A huge grin split Lance's face and he rushed over to the other condo to tell Keith and Shiro about it.

  ***

 At the banquet that evening, there was a huge bonfire and lots of food, dancing and music. Hunk said it was like a Luau. Lance said it was like a family beach party.  The others just thought it was fun.  There was some sort of beverage in a red coconut looking thing that Shiro objected to at first, but after a brief discussion with Allura he allowed.  

 Lance took a sip and smiled, "It tastes like a Pina Colada!"

 "Why do you know what that tastes like?"  Keith frowned.

 "My sister-in-law used to let me drink a little of hers, not a lot, just a taste." Lance sipped happily.  "This tastes almost exactly like the ones my brother would make."

 Hunk sniffed and sipped tentatively, "It is good."

 "Please don't get carried away, no more than three or make that two for you Pidge."  Shiro frowned unsure if this was the proper thing to do.

 "Shiro, you are not my parent.  You are like an older brother.  Act like it, be a bad influence once in a while too."  Keith grinned as he sipped.

 "Yeah, be the older frat brother that rolls you over, so you don't choke on your vomit after he gets you to drink way too much."  Lance offered.

 Hunk, Pidge, Keith, and Shiro stared at him.

 "What? Am I the only one that had a life?" Lance chugged the rest of his drink and smiled, "I'm dancing."  He rushed back out to where others were already dancing around the bonfire.

 Hunk shrugged looking at the others, "He's not wrong, we are social rejects."

 "I wasn't."  Shiro objected quietly.

 "Yes, but what are you now, Space Dad."  Pidge snarked.

 Shiro glared at her, downed his drink, and laughed, "Dancing."  He walked away to join Lance, who looked surprised but happy to have Shiro grab him and spin him around.

 "Huh."  Keith offered.

 "It does look like fun."  Hunk decided.

 "Where are Allura and Coran?"  Pidge asked before spotting them lounging at the bar watching the two dancing paladins. Pidge waved them off and headed over to the Alteans.  She was not dancing.

 "So, may I have this dance?"  Hunk asked offering Keith his hand.

 "Why not?"  Keith smiled and they both finished their drinks before heading out to join the other two dancing.

 ***

 Lance woke the next morning sleeping on a cloud.  He smiled and stretched.  He'd danced with everyone he thought, so many smiles and laughs and new dances and Pina Colodas.  He found himself grinning in realization that he had not gotten that drunk and did not have a head ache or naseau this morning, the alien booze must not have been very strong.

 He lowered his bed back to the couch and slipped on a hoodie.  The morning was gray and looked chilly.  He didn't bother with shoes.  He went out to beach and walked along the edge of the water, watching the water come and go and walking in and out of it.  Leaving footprints in the white sand.  The colors were wrong, but it reminded him so strongly of home that he half expected his mama to call him to breakfast.  He closed his eyes thinking of the many mornings he had woke before everyone else and done just this, ever since he was deemed old enough to be trusted to stay out of the water when no one else was around.

 "Lance?" Keith's voice was quiet, but Lance still jumped.

 "You really want to give me a heart attack, don't you?" Lance shook his head, wiping tears on the sleeve of his hoodie.  Keith was dressed in workout clothes and had probably been running as he was sweating and panting a bit.

 "No. You okay?" Keith frowned.

 "Yeah, just really reminds me of home.  It's good, but sad too."  Lance sighed. "I wonder when we will get to go home again or even if we ever will."

 "We will."  Keith stated like it was a fact.

 "You can't know that.  Zarkon has been in power for ten thousand years, do we really think we're going to beat him in a year or two and go home?"

 "Sure, Voltron hasn't been around all that time.  We kick his ass and then go home."  Keith smiled slyly.

 "Sure." Lance shook his head.

 "Seriously though, we have the weapon he has always feared and there has to be a reason. He knows we can beat him.  We will get back home.  It might take a while but we're going."  Keith put an arm around Lance.

 "I like that you're sure."  Lance offered.  He wasn't quite convinced, but it helped that Keith seemed to be.

 "Tell me something you used to do on the beach?  Something we could do today?" Keith pried.

 "Well, sometimes in the summer we would have sandcastle building contests, Mami would judge them."  Lance smiled at the memory and the crazy things he and his siblings had created.

 "We can do that."  Keith nodded. "I've never done that before."

 "You've never built a sandcastle?" Lance asked shocked.

 "Lance, this is the first time I've ever been to a beach like this."  Keith gestured to the horizon.  "It just keeps going.  It's amazing really."

 Lance took several moments to recover, "Okay, so we are building sandcastles, then I'm teaching you to swim in a current like this, and then we are going to make some surfboards.  Oh, and we have to bury you in the sand."  Lance rattled off happily.

 "Bury me?"  Keith raised his eyebrows and frowned.

 "Don't look at me like that.  You cover up like half of the person with sand or maybe up to their neck, depending on what you are doing.  You can just make it look weird like a head in the sand, or make them look like something else, like a mermaid or something.  It feels cool and it's fun and you've never done it so you're trying it. Also, we have to hunt for seashells, do they have those here?  Well even if they don’t, we can still hunt for them and then we'll know."

 Keith smiled in amusement as Lance continued rattling off important things to do as one by one the others joined them.  The sandcastle contest was something to behold.  Pidge had declared that picking teams sucked and had them draw straws. Team one was Keith, Pidge, and Hunk. Team two was Lance, Shiro, and Coran. Allura was the official judge, as obviously a princess knows a lot about castles according to Lance.

 Team One's castle was huge, easily eight feet tall at the peak of the highest tower. It bore a striking resemblance to Cinderella's castle, though not enough to worry about a copyright.  Pidge had created a draw bridge that opened and closed and installed some kind of luminescent shells to the interior to give lighting.  Keith had gathered shells and layered them on the towers to act like tile roofs.  It was overall very striking.

 Team Two's castle looked like a flying alien city.  It wasn't as tall only about six foot at the top of the central spire, but the towers were decorated with glass and there were spirals of glass in different colors that shot up throughout the castle.  Pidge argued it was cheating.  Lance argued it was just hot sand and why shouldn't they make it since they had Shiro on their team.

 Allura declared it a tie over their bickering and told them to come to lunch.  She had a picnic delivered to the beach and they sat on blankets and ate something that looked like peanut butter and jelly - if the peanut butter was made with beans instead of peanuts and the jelly was bacon flavored.

 After the meal they all laid out and took a nap.  It was crazy to relax like this and it had really been too long.  Pidge had started to creep away to a laptop, but Allura caught her by the wrist.

 "Pidge, everything needs to recharge sometime, even you.  Give yourself this time and when you get back you will be more prepared and will work faster."  Allura begged.  "We can't work ourselves to death; there is no one to take our places."

 Pidge paused pondering what Allura had said and then nodded, curling back up on the blanket and snuggling into Hunk's side.  Allura allowed herself to relax again.  This was something they all needed.

 The swimming lessons commenced after.  Keith wasn't a bad swimmer and Lance only had to rescue him once before he listened to his fellow paladin about the dangers of the undertow.  Hunk splashed right along with them as did Allura.  Coran, Shiro, and Pidge stayed on the shoreline. Pidge said she was part robot and water was bad for her.  Shiro waved his own anchor of an arm as an excuse and Coran simply laughed and said they couldn't teach an old warbraxlian like himself any new things.    Lance was an amazing swimmer and Keith had a hard time keeping his eyes off of him.  He even challenged the princess to a race.  He lost, but he claimed her shifting into something with flippers was cheating anyway.

 Keith was shocked at how exhausted he was when he came out of the water and how heavy his body felt.  Swimming in the ocean was really a lot more tiring than a pool, Lance had been right. Lance grabbed him a towel to lay down on and declared it was time to bury him, so he could take a nap.

 When Keith woke to a mermaid tale and breasts he had to clamor out of the sand and chase Lance around the beach for a while until he caught him and dragged him back to the towel and declared it was his turn.  Lance complained he would have been fine with the mermaid body, but Keith gave him the body of a middle-aged man with a beer gut.  Pidge carefully documented both, though the boys were not yet aware of it.  They would be when she needed something.

 They were making preparations for the evening meal when an alarm sounded on a device Allura was carrying.  She frowned and tapped at it, before sighing and turning to the others.  

 "I'm sorry everyone, but we will need to cut this short.  There has been a Galra fleet detected in the vicinity of an alliance planet.  We need to get there and be ready to defend them if needed."  Allura smiled sadly at the paladins, to their credit they all nodded without complaint.  She was proud of them.  "Let's have everything packed and be in the shuttle as quickly as possible.  I would like to wormhole out tonight."

 The packing went smoothly.  They had all been aware that this was a possibility and had made accommodations to allow for quick pack ups.  

 Crowded back in the shuttle on the way to the castle, Lance leaned his head against Keith's shoulder, "How was your first beach trip?”

 “It was good.”  Keith smiled softly.

 “Sorry we didn't get to go surfing or hunt sea shells." Lance frowned

 "It's okay."  Keith shrugged.  "There wasn't anything we could do."

 "I know, but I guess we did a lot." Lance suddenly quirked a smile, “We can go surfing and hunt sea shells when we get home.”

 "I would like that.  I could see myself living on a beach someday." Keith smiled over at Lance.

 "Oh yeah, maybe we could be neighbors?"  Lance smiled thinking about his dreamhouse on the beach.

 Keith hummed and turned so that his violet eyes were staring straight into Lance's ocean blues, "Maybe we could be closer than that."

 "Oh yeah?"  Lance blinked and licked his lips, before grinning mischievously, "So roomies, huh?"  Hunk choked on laughter and Pidge swatted him in the back of the head, but Lance just laughed at the frustrated look on Keith's face, before leaning back against his shoulder and closing his eyes.

 "I could find room for a mullet in my dream house."  Lance muttered as his breathing slowed and evened into sleep.  

 Keith smiled down at him and wondered what he was getting himself into.

[duckbeater]

Some Notes on A. S. Hamrah

A lifetime ago, I thought it’d be rewarding to teach A. S. Hamrah’s “A Better Moustrap” to first-year students struggling through their second semester of basic comp. I wanted to wow them with Hamrah’s heedless deployment of unsettling theses, argued crisply and irreverently, in an essay that supplies a plausible solution to its concerns (a rarity among most rhetorical appeals, whose authors left my students stimulated but empty-handed). Very in the vein of “A Modest Proposal,” “Mousetrap” confronts a social ill—fetish videos where women crush small animals to death under their Stilettos—yet proposes a non-ironic salve: “crushies,” where “the must-have plush-toys of the Christmas rush will be smashed underfoot.” Most of my course was based on weird internet shit, which I thought (I still think) mostly anyone can appreciate, especially the young. “Mousetrap” is full of that weird-internet-shit jouissance.

“Reading this is like eating your favorite food,” I told the class. “You’re just gonna shovel in ideas. They’re all delicious. Eh, they’re pretty weird, too. But it’ll be fun.” It wasn’t fun. Nobody read the essay. Moving through its arguments, in front of twenty-five nineteen-year-olds and a few grandmothers, was embarrassing. I had to dissect Hamrah’s great takes on crush video culture, his movements through film history, his appraisals of Mickey Rooney, then his wider and, to me, scintillating prognostications on American adulthood—an adulthood most everyone in the classroom (accepting the grannies) was soon to inherit—totally alone. “Do you watch these videos?” one student asked. “Then what’s your fetish?” asked another. “Bryson fucks books!” became the consensus. (“I fuck your dads!” I thankfully did not say but very much wanted to. I was a coward; this partially explains why no one bothered to complete my assignments.)

Flying solo—or falling sans parachute, as the case may be—through Hamrah’s film criticism and cultural reportage of the last decade has probably been a shared experience among his far-flung admirers. Finding his byline in Bookforum or the obscure domain of the International Federation of Film Critics or mirrored pages from the defunct Hermenaut was usually the result of a periodic Google search. If he appears more regularly now, and more regularly in prestige venues, that’s the fault of n+1, where he’s contributed reviews tri-quarterly since roughly 2008.

Indeed, it was Hamrah’s initial, online-only contribution that inspired so much ardor and devotion. “Oscars Previews” provided bright, bursting capsules—the gleeful bitchery of a best friend's phone call. Apparently this quality was transliterated from its material creation, when he reported the piece to his editor, Keith Gessen, over a phone, after complaining he didn’t have time to write the thing. Each entry in this salvo (none are more than a hundred or so words) lands with a zinger. They have the polish of a joke, featuring a setup, some reinforcement and then a payoff. He even plays some of his capsules against each other as callbacks. The entirety of Hamrah’s entry on Michael Clayton reads: “There was a lot of driving in Michael Clayton. I like driving in movies but after a while Michael Clayton started to seem like a car ad—though it showed how a car ad can be liberal. That’s a message for our times.” The wit is authoritative, hypnotic, dismissive. The taste behind these pronouncements felt sui generis, and the criticisms brief enough to be dispatched verbatim without attribution. I was a senior in college when I first read Hamrah. I had a busy season of parties at professor’s houses and dined-out on his opinions for weeks. 

This is not to say Hamrah only works when you’re young and grasping for style. But I do think it’s evident now that his short forms are the seedbed for his long form successes, paper sketches for the larger canvas. When you read enough of Hamrah’s capsule reviews, you get the sense he’s reporting exactly (or only) what fits into his little joke, sometimes you can even hear him reaching for his beats. When you read a whole book of them, you get the sense Hamrah’s less interested in the works under review than in his performance of reviews, his performance of freedom and audacity.

—

The Earth Dies Streaming, apart from film writing, is a log of Hamrah’s fascination with his persona, his brand of humor and arch sensibilities. He’s not exactly a curmudgeon—he wants readers to know he’s tried too many drugs to be a curmudgeon (comparisons to acid trips crop up, as does “bad speed”)—and he’s not exactly an academic (despite his Ivy League bona fides as a corporate semiotician)—and he’s not even a movie reviewer in the jejune, crass, sell-out way so many movie reviewer must be in today’s enfeebled, saturated, and deeply compromised market (he tries “to never include anything in [his] writing that could be extracted and used for publicity”). This is where I trot out a gif of Amy Poehler playing a Cool Mom in Mean Girls. Hamrah’s bobblehead offers virgin daiquiris to teenage cineastes. “I’m not like a regular film critic,” he says, “I’m a cool film critic.” The tits, the wink, the velour sweatsuit.

Other irritations. Hamrah’s insistence on the inferiority of animated films and his churlish dismissal of Miyazaki’s contributions to the medium’s history. He’s always on accident catching some part of a children’s movie—on an airplane, in a public clinic—and using these unsatisfactory experiences to comment on the aesthetics and advancements of animation at large. It’s a hobby horse he flays as often as Adorno assaulted jazz, and (to both their credits), slightly adorable for how insistent and under-thought. If only, as he does in “Jessica Biel’s Hand,” he would immerse himself in the backlog of lauded animation from this century and the last, he might, for once, be able to say something interesting about it.

Hamrah’s stance against feature-length animation is nearly as looming and placeless as his stance against other films critics, whom he evidently reads closely but can never be bothered to cite. His essays are peppered with a dreaded sea of bought-off weekly reviewers whose pedestrian tastes frustrate him. This, despite the regularly insightful, playful, and overall helpful criticism of David Edelstein and Emily Yoshida at New York; Dana Stevens at Slate; Manhola Darghis at the Times; Justin Chang in Los Angeles; and the fairly dour takes of Peter Debruge in the industry’s digest, Variety. Hamrah alludes to David Denby’s work in Streaming’s introduction, then names him outright in a later capsule review of Little Children. Otherwise, your guess is as good as mine as to with what critical consensus Hamrah finds his views out of alignment. These are critics and journalists who, obliged by deadlines, report weekly on their film-going habits. That they have new things to say even once a month is a miracle, but that they do so four to ten times a month is frankly incredible. (It must be evident that I’m a fan of movie reviews and film criticism. I work an office job where between menials I find intense delight and distraction in the work of daily reviewers, and I carry around with me an ungainly amount of knowledge regarding box office performances and future releases that in all other ways I have no interaction: I go to the movies maybe three times a month, often by myself, and often I see low-brow flicks. Last weekend I saw the third How to Train Your Dragon movie; the weekend before that, Isn’t It Romantic; a weekend before that, Roma. I saw these movies on the advice of daily reviewers, and Roma only after reading Caleb Crain’s celebration of it.)

I volunteer Richard Brody and Christian Lorentzen as Hamrah’s contemporary intellectual kin, with caveats. Brody’s work is too mystical, too mythical to properly critique his subjects, and his symptomatic readings, which border on the Lacanian in terms of the extraneous and deranged, become hulking apertures that always overtake whatever work is under discussion, squashing them. Also he is never, ever funny in his reviews. Brody is a curmudgeon, and what he criticizes rarely appears in the films themselves but float around the films’ receptions, financing or forebears, and when he ventures into specifics—a film’s lensing, its sound, the actors and their acting styles—his descriptions become ridiculous. Lorentzen, as with his book reviews, writes to a word count. (There is no other reason for the amount of tedious plot summary in a Lorentzen take-down.) If Hamrah sounds like these critics, it may be because all three are careful in their dissents to let the filmmakers know they think they’re complete assholes. When these three do find praise for a work, it’s the entirely appropriate object of adoration, art-house and independent, or, gotcha!, a studio event they appreciate for more correct, more interesting, and more nuanced reasons than everyone else.

What sets these critics apart from the daily reviewers I listed above, may be the daily reviewers’ capacity to surprise and be surprised. Perhaps they saw a movie with a daughter and her friend; they appreciated a family flick in context; they were caught unawares by stray scenes in a larger, unsuccessful work, and appreciated glimpsed wisdom. They have hope yet for a return to better forms. These reviewers are flexible and receptive; they are as likely to be charmed as they are to be chagrined. Even when Brody, Lorentzen and Hamrah are surprised by the quality of a work, they take it as an affront to their sensibilities and bridle, like horses suspicious of an open gate. Why were they not warned? Why should they trust this development? Their reflexive, ingrained annoyance, occasionally flowering into high dudgeon, fills their actual reviews with foregone conclusions. One does not visit their writing for news, or for new takes, for synthesized connections, or revelations of form. One visits for the comforting familiarity of a flagging standard—“a continuity of aesthetics that [has] become an aesthetics of continuity,” if I’m remembering the St Aubyn phrase correctly.

Criticism this entrenched in its own personality ends up toothless. It’s why Renata Adler, for instance, will be remembered for her reporting and not her film criticism. Despite its bite—and it’s quite biting—it rarely leaves a mark. Hamrah never cites Adler—nor do I think he will. His prose and her prose are rather too alike. He must sense the comparison coming, and dislike it, because Adler is not particularly well informed on film and filmmaking. Her amateurish moonlighting grated in 1968, and it grates now, but only for its prosumer-level expertise. Her prose (like Hamrah’s) remains indelible, deadpan, and addictive. When I recall the subhead to Kyle Paoletta’s appreciation of Hamrah, “Always On: A. S. Hamrah’s film criticism is a welcome corrective in an outmoded field,” I consider Adler’s own attempts at the form, as a corrective. And I find them contiguous with other platforms discussing same, places like Slate, Twitter, and The Ringer’s Exit Survey, which preempts the leap from hot take to tweet. (Q: “What is your tweet-length review of Venom?” A: “What if All of Me (1984) but action and also tater tot–loving aliens?”) What I’m saying is this: Hamrah’s form is not novel. His tone is not novel. His writing is, however, very convenient (brief, digestible) and entertaining, and he’s been adding more personal atmosphere of late.

So the named lodestars in Hamrah’s critical firmament: Pauline Kael, Susan Sontag, Jonathan Rosenbaum, J. Hoberman and Manny Farber (to whom Hamrah pens an exceptionally sweet and informative essay). Hoberman, the only critic still alive among these titans, shares Hamrah’s acid tongue and penchant for political excavations, while doing his readers a courtesy by assuming not all of them attend film festivals or live in limited-release area codes. The same semester I taught “A Better Mousetrap,” I taught Sontag on sci-fi movies and Hoberman’s seminal “21st Century Cinema: Death and Resurrection in the Desert of the (New) Real” (later to become his book-length essay, Film After Film). Hoberman can be as tart and irreverent as Hamrah, but he’s not above recounting plot summaries. He’s both a guide and a rebel. I suppose, following my own argument, if in fact I’m making one, this makes Hoberman the better critic—a classification that would not hurt Hamrah’s feelings. (This would hurt very few film critics’ feelings.)   

—

Very little of the above matters. I had hoped to answer why, then I got bored (then I had to go to work; after that, I had to design a booth for a marketing expo in London; then I lost the thread). When I was in Brooklyn last December, I dropped into the Spoonbill on Montrose. The first book I bought on my second time in New York City was Hamrah’s The Earth Dies Streaming, and I carried it about like an obsessive as I made my way by foot to Prospect Park. I devoured it in a few days. I devoured it again on the plane ride back to Chicago. And I’ve read all the capsules before, and most of the essays—they’re usually posted in front of paywalls. If I quibble with Hamrah, it may be because he’s made me a better writer, and surely a better thinker, yet I found that I disliked my own dismissiveness and superiority, my own rigidity. If I can name my influences, I thought, I can break from them. But this is unso. 

[bushybeardedbear]

So Season 7 of Voltron Legendary Defender... Oh Boy...

I had so much spoiled before watching it. Thanks email alerts. So after seeing so much spoiled already, I started lurking in Tumblr again. By the time I’d actually got round to watching the season I felt like I’d already watched most of it and was primed with all the various thoughts and opinions people were sharing online. In the days beforehand I was up and down like a yoyo on a rollercoaster. Hopeful one day, thinking it’s not even worth watching the next. Hovering my finger over “delete” on both this blog and my fics at points... Even contemplating that right now if I’m honest. Maybe I should have been Bushy Bearded Drama-Llama?

In any case, having finally sat down with rock bottom, possibly even sub zero expectations and watched, here are my thoughts now season seven is over... Well... In short, I think it suffers a lot from being so rushed. And before you say it, no, going in with low expectations wasn’t a self fulfilling prophecy. Psychologically speaking the opposite is true. If we go into something with low expectations, we tend to have a better opinion overall than we would have if we went in with sky high expectations. And whilst it may seem like I hated it so far...? Well, no. I didn’t hate it. There were some parts that didn’t gel with me, but to say I hated it would be an insult to everyone involved. But that doesn’t make it free from criticism. If you care what this bear’s about to growl about, strap in, it’s not a short one. Not kidding. This is long. But I guess I needed to get my feelings down and hopefully have someone patient enough to read it and see that I’m not completely insane. And, thought I shouldn’t have to say this... None of this comes from a place of hate. No, I don’t think regardless of how you feel about this season that hatred to the creators is ever acceptable. If you feel you must, then voice your grievances calmly, rationally, but the second you resort to hate you have already lost. Though what I would suggest is to just accept this season as it is and move on.  Moving on is partly why I’m compelled to write this post. Maybe if you are going to read this monster, bring some caramel to counteract the salt...

The Season Itself

So within the first episode, I’m already full of mixed emotions. Yes, the Plance moment was great. Yes, the dynamic between Hunk and Romelle was cool. Coran was great, supportive Crolia, the none too subtle dig at Prometheus as Lance and Pidge ran from the grass... (Don’t think we didn’t spot that you writer rascals! Run at an angle!) I remain in Sheith Limbo trying to reconcile they met when Keith was literally a child and relationships can grow and develop with a worried dash of will people misinterpret this as grooming if they got together...? But a lot of it was by the by. Honey I Shrunk The Paladins was a great fun start to the series interspersed with great emotional character building for Shiro and Keith. It fleshed them both out in ways I wish we’d seen sooner and as others have pointed out drastically reframes a lot of the protective over Shiro moments in the context of his degenerative disease. And yet, it doesn’t make Shiro a victim, nor Keith a white knight, it keeps them both flawed yet strong heroes. Tiny cute paladins, Lance’s cargo pilot reference. As always the design of the planets is gorgeous. Lance sharpshooting. The attention to detail with little things like in scale surface tension! I can’t overstate how much time, effort and thought has gone into this! The narrative parallels of the speeder bikes. Honestly, there is SO much to unpack in just one episode that could easily be overlooked as silly and/or filler. But it’s so much. Keith’s growth is such fun to watch, confirmation of certain fan theories is great yet so sad at the same time...

It allowed Romelle to actually have a character that wasn’t just “Lotor Plot Delivery Service” and her interactions with Hunk were pretty adorable. “Are all ancient Alteans like this?” Was a great subtle piece of world building as well. And yeah, pretty sure I saw @hailqiqi mention this already, but Hunk and Romelle are so the audience surrogates. The one and only thing that bugged me, given the fact that so much of Voltron has had to be rushed or cut for time... Did we really need the flashbacks in this episode shown twice back in the quantum abyss episode...? Couldn’t that time in the QA been used for something else...? But that’s a very minor gripe. Overall, I massively enjoyed this episode but I’m still nervous given the priming from the fandom going forward... But that last hug? Saving Shiro with his voice / quintessence maybe?

The Road home starts off well, though the idea that still nobody knows or comments on Katie’s name being such did disappoint me a little... The space road trip starting up was so cute, even if Lance’s logic of passengers is lost on me...aside from maybe cutting Pidge some slack. Let me Headcanon that little touch of unconscious favouritism, yeah? Though his taking charge in the battle here, being the right hand man, was really nice to see here. From the audience perspective, he may be stating the obvious, but in canon, that’s what we call battlefield awareness. Imagine season 1 Lance doing this? Nah. Buthe’s had no growth, so people say... “It’s super dangerous, it’s perfect!” Wonderful! And Keith’s leadership! Great stuff. (Almost) Everyone getting a chance to shine in the cave combat was also awesome. Full on frenetic energy, a little flourish of comedy from time to time, great characterisation, calm before the storm leading to a sudden yet satisfying cliffhanger? Full on Voltron to a T.

"I will help you look for that passage.” Is a cute Plance moment that others are overlooking I feel. Coran’s memoirs are something I would personally read the hell out of. I don’t know about the rest of you. But seeing the entire saga retold through Coran’s eyes...? I’d love to see it. I’m also kinda happy to know how “Acxa” is pronounced! The slow reveal of the time skip up until the reveal at the end is nice, though honestly not as mysterious as the show seemed to think it was. Maybe it was just that I got spoiled? Evil power couple were great as well and it was nice to see the ice pop mystery solved. A return of Altean shapeshifting was nice to see. “Sweet on that one with the flippity hair” and “your favourite paladin” “never wanted to kill him” “true love”? Seems a little out of left field. Unexpected? Maybe not, just rushed? Axca and Keith seemed a little sudden. To me felt like they just needed to pair a spare and keep Kieth and Allura apart. Which, I get into later. Keith being able to transport his bayard seems...fine...? Why are people complaining about this? Paladins summon their bayarads all the time. He just did it from a few extra feet...?  I do wish Coran had a chance to play to his strengths though. Aside from his courage. He has brains and feels like he needs to use them more or be written in scenarios where he can use them. The three year time skip, when revealed, seems like it was just a convenient way to avoid the immediate aftermath of Lotor losing the throne. It works in that regard I suppose. But by the end of this episode I wasn’t really sold on it.

Nice new haircut though Axca. Really sells the redeemed rebel former baddie archetype. And thank goodness for your exposition. Tell don’t show, am I right? One of the ways we can see the show was rushed I feel. Though again, maybe just being picky...

The Game Show Episode. I was expecting this later in the season honestly. It was good for comic relief I guess, so it served it’s purpose. Seeing the first family of the Galra along for some comedy was great if only for Neil Kaplan having such fun. But it felt like it was missing something. I can’t quite put my finger on what. It was nice to get insight into how the Paladins feel about each other but again, it felt like a way to get those ideas and characterisations out into the open without having to, y’know, show them in natural narrative progression. It’s probably the weakest of the comedy episodes so far and it felt a little like it was all just happening until it eventually stopped. It didn’t feel like the little hints of “tv flickering” implying something artificial were necessary. In fact, as soon as I saw the concept I thought “so, all powerful being captures them for reasons?” and that’s pretty much what we got. It was...ok. Just ok. And y’know what...? After seven seasons, maybe we do need to drop the “Lance is the dumb one” joke? I mean, yes, he’s not as smart as the rest of the team. No doubt. But if he’d been given a chance to shine on his own terms, with his own abilities, if they’d subverted the goofball archetype rather than doubling down on it I think this would have made for a more interesting episode. Just because it’s comedy doesn’t mean it doesn’t have to be compelling. The Voltron Show for instance literally dealt with Coran pushing himself so hard to help the Paladins that he was willing to resort to what was essentially a mind altering drug and forcing himself to kick the habit. Where was the actual plot in this episode? Funny moments need a framework and this kinda lacked a framework in my opinion.

Really episode 5? A Kobayashi Maru scenario...? Indeed, running a simulation when the lions are running on fumes...? Ok, you do you I guess... Little self referential humour from Coran was nice, but a little on the nose. And honestly, I think these episodes are starting to feel like, I dunno, filler material? Like, nothing is really being furthered in terms of the massive plots they still need to deal with. Did the journey back to Earth really need to take so many episodes, or could these have been more efficiently used to deal with countless plot threads that remain unresolved...? It’s a strange thing to be feeling at this stage, but maybe there’s more to come...?  And...it felt like another clip show filling out the backstory of the three years of Voltron being missing... Maybe it’s just me, but if you have written yourself into a scenario where the only way out is repeated massive exposition dumps... Maybe you need to rethink your story just a touch...? The fact it was also told from an unreliable narrator also means it wasn’t just exposition...it was literally pointless exposition that was likely mostly a combination of lies and half truths. And I’m sorry but, were people really clamouring for a rematch between Keith and “That One Nameless Druid...?” Really? You won’t hear me denying it was cool fight scene, yes indeed, but the set up wasn’t exactly great in my opinion.  As for how Keith managed to win? Ok, sure, I guess summoning the Bayard from a few feet was a build up to something else, something even more special that may or may not get resolved this season. I’m writing these as I go. Or will it be one more plot point that will need to be resolved in the next season with limited time and episodes to do so? Keith and Krolia’s goodbye was sad. I do hope for a reunion, but honestly don’t expect it. I imagine she’ll die off screen for shock value. Sadly, I already know the fate of Altean colony and why Haggar has forsaken her druids, so, no real hook for me there. 

So the halfish way point. Lost in space, desperately trying to force plance out of every interaction... And ultimately, just getting bored. I mean, yes, I get that they need to reconnect with each other... But there are countless ways it could have been resolved other than this. It didn’t really feel like there was need for this particular journey into the darkest cave. It also feels a little forced that after saving countless realities by working together, they now all get forced apart...? Hunk saving the day, saving the team, great. Really wonderful stuff. He’s been overlooked for so long. But the idea that they needed to become friends again...? To reconnect...again...? I don’t know that it felt necessary. If after all these years, literal years together there isn’t already a profound connection...? I just can’t really buy that. And again, it felt like a filler episode. And Hunk Priming the audience for the concept of passing the torch? Yeah, that didn’t go unseen.  Maybe it’s just me, but after six episodes where it was already established that they can travel at crazy speeds to be told “yeah no, it’s not that the lions were drained, it’s just these people who’ve literally saved the universe together aren’t quite best friends enough...”? That just feels silly.  And yes, I know “silly” is relative when we’re talking about a powerful group of robot magical cat things that are powered by love and freindship. BUT what I feel was silly was the idea that their friendship was strained at all. It felt as though the season wanted there to be this divide between them but...the comedy episode just a little while ago established they’re all willing to sacrifice themselves for each other.... 

That’s just....fundamentally contradictory. Are you guys barely even connected as friends or are you willing to die for each other? You can’t be both... It makes the whole “struggle” of getting back to Earth feel false because it’s predicated on the assumption that they’re a fractured team this episode yet there’s been literally no sign of that until now... Still, as always, the visuals were cool. The Space Angler Fish is a great concept. The music was great. The voice acting was on point. Everything was so SO good except...the writing... The writing in this particular episode in the context of everything preceding it just felt... Bad. Rushed. Forced. Contradictory. Drama for the sake of drama. Artificial... What’s going on guys...?

So a multiparter? Let’s see. Ok. Seeing how awesome Sam Holt is, fine. Seeing him reunite with Colleen. Also fine and dandy and cool. And it tugged at the heart strings... But do we really need him to literally tell us everything we already know in a power point presentation...? The audience doesn’t need to be caught up on the events.We don’t need a massive chunk of the episode’s run time devoted to playing catch up. We have the time for this, but apparently - according to the spoilers - we don’t have time to establish that Allura is getting over Lotor and Falling for Lance...? Not even a throw away line, or a glance, or a suggestion of that fact that needs establishing after her season six reaction to the mice... But we do have time for the events of the show to be repeated to us...? What!? I am literally bewildered at this choice. Flabbergasted. Gobsmacked.

The worst thing about this so far, is that under all the EXPOSITION there’s a great story that wants too be told. I think we’re only seeing fragments of that story. Sam and Coleen struggling to find their children again and fighting against political nonsense. But real talk... This was all stuff that could have done just fine implied. The Paladins arrive on Earth, they see the new ships piloted by their inevitable replacements in the new series they seem to want to make, Lance asks, “What are those?” Sam responds, “A fusion of Galra, Altean and Olkari tech. The culmination of months of Earth’s greatest minds working together. It was a struggle, but we got them made in the end...” BOOM. Done. Efficient use of what is obviously painfully limited time. Did we NEED the power point, the montages, the backdoor pilot for the new team...? Did we - good as they were - even need the Holt Family suffering...? Couldn’t Coleen’s transmission to everyone on Earth have been enough to get the point across that they’re awesome...? In my opinion, we didn’t need this. Not like this at least. It could have been done so much more efficiently, so much less padding. But we did get to see snippets of the messages back home. That was nice. But it doesn’t change the fact that the majority of the first episode felt really... Unnecessary. But that’s just how I feel after part one... So, the first half of the second episode? Superb. Can’t fault it, good heroic stuff, Sam stepping up. A realistic invasion of Earth, ie, we lose that’s rare to see in most media. Can’t fault it. Then the second half kicks in. The four archetypes we’ve been barely introduced to, go on a mission that narratively speaking is utterly unnecessary. I know that the Atlas gets built thanks to spoilers. But even if I didn’t, what function does this part serve? We may not be able to build a thing. Later on, that thing will be built. Do we need to into the minutiae of how the supplies were gathered...? Well, I suppose we do. But not because of how it serves the overall plot of Voltron Legendary Defender, but how it sells these new kids to us for the new series they obviously assume they’re making. But if it wasn’t for that? 

Then it defaults to more exposition... More information that could have been relayed to the audience in much more engaging ways.

This could have been, rather than a messy and kinda redundant two part episode with occasional brilliance, it could have been trimmed down to a truly brilliant single part. I’m not invested in these new characters. Let me get there or not when I see them in their own show. And if they’re literally just there as homage to the sequel series from the 80′s...then they don’t need this much focus. The actual paladins and their interpersonal dynamics do. Rift creatures do. Lotor’s fate does. Why are we wasting the limited time that remains on this unless it’s a back door pilot? Why should the current series suffer just to promote the next one...? It’s just exhausting and disappointing. By the end I was agreeing with Keith. What are we waiting for...? The continuation of the series we came here for. What kept us waiting was either an advert for the next series or a massive misstep in pacing.

And now, finally back to the real story and after two episodes establishing that Earth is screwed over, Earth can barely contact other parts of itself, Earth is on the brink of collapse, Earth is holding on by a thread... In the first scene we have Earth, somehow, triangulating a jamming signal into the outer edges of the solar system and remaining undetected as they do so...? Even assuming they are “just” sending commands to satellites and installations elsewhere in the solar system, The Galra would detect that command signal. And given how much we’ve had it stated, overstated, hammered home that Earth is in such bad shape...that feels like a real ass pull. 

I am being nitpicky, yes, but this is the second time this has happened on such a large and frankly contradictory scale. So I’m calling it out again. First The Paladins are willing to die for each other, or at least be trapped for eternity, then they are barely friends. Then, Earth can barely contact it’s own countries, but sending an undetectable command signal to at least three satellites in the solar system is fine...? Why not just have Voltron get the signal sooner!? Why not have Pidge send a jamming signal...?

And in terms of introductions to the new team? What we got after the drone attack? Perfect. It didn’t need to be an entire episode of establishing them because it isn’t their story. But the Paladins meeting their families? The reconciliation with Iverson? Shiro grieving for Adam. Where was all this before now? Why hasn’t our focus been where it belongs. On the Paladins? Now, I don’t really want to get into the whole debate about unfair representation of LGBT characters. I can see both sides of the argument as being valid. Shiro remains a strong canonically gay character even if the man he once loved is gone. Adam, though dead, is not immune to tragedy just for being gay. What we did see though was a man openly crying for his lost love. There’s plenty to be critical of the series for. But personally, I don’t feel the treatment of Adam and Shiro is “queerbaiting” so much as it is a couple unfairly separated by the horrors of war. A canonically and unambiguously gay couple. That’s representation. Just it may not be precisely what everyone wanted. But don’t let me stop you writing out impassioned critiques, don’t let me stop you airing and venting your grievances. I’m doing that right now, aren’t I? Just please please please don’t send any more hatred at the creators...

Now, this whole section of the Altean enhanced tech...? Why is this being reiterated again? This could stand on it’s own as an introduction to the concept of Earth meets Alien tech. Why are we being shown the same things twice, first in the two parter in depth and again now...? Why do this when there is so much else that needs addressing in ever dwindling episodes...? Though aside from that, Hunk and Keith connecting is great. Hunk finally having a dedicated arc to save his family also great. Hunk being the outsider to the Garrison Trio dynamic and spending time with Keith again? Also great, wonderful even. So where was all this previously...? But even this, even this has to be if not overshadowed then frankly hijacked by the new characters they want to sell to us. It’s getting tiresome. I don’t want Hunk’s moments overshadowed, his spotlight taken... But damn, if he doesn’t still stand proud regardless. This is the Voltron I’ve been missing for most of the season.

I was going to post the image of him crying, but couldn’t do it... So here, Happier Hunk.

Don’t know how I feel about Hover Hand. I get they’re setting it up for the final conflict with Sendak, so that Shiro will be his literal and visual antithesis...but...hover hand looks kinda goofy. And being the counterpoint to your nemesis doesn’t need to be so literal all the time. And again, the new characters forcing their way into the story with a half baked excuse to sell you them. I think from now on I’m just going to comment when Team Replacements don’t force themselves in...Even the fact one of them was Veronica felt a little frustrating, because Lance’s family dynamic with her is overshadowed in my opinion by her being part of the new forced team of replacements. Allura giving up her crystal tiara for Shiro was a nice moment. 

Okay, now imagine the whole infiltration section without Team Replacements. Just the Paladins, doing their thing. Let’s assume their resident tech genius has a way to stop the sentry drones sending out distress calls. 

What did they contribute other than a few quips? Are we really expected to believe our paladins, the protagonists of the story need these people...? No. It was just written that way to force the new guys in. What we need to wonder is why and the answer is most likely... Back Door Pilot. Over multiple episodes. That undermined the series I was already watching. And finally, despite it being the supposed new canon ship in town, we see our first indication that Lance and Allura might be interested. Or do we? No, we just see Lance checking her out and being teased. Then immediately afterwards we see Pidge implementing Lance style silliness and even a Lance style distraction with her own spin on it. But no, let’s focus on the blushing and the eyeballing. I’m not salty. I’m dead sea levels of salty. But I’ll put that aside for now... And roll my eyes at the Wilhelm scream... Ok, so I was all ready to be excited about the plan, but then the super forced Allurance twin blush happened. Was it...was it really supposed to hit home when there was no build up to it this season...? Or was checking her out through the sniper sights enough to replace any hint of them coming closer or Allura setting aside Lotor...? Sure, she’s bound to do it in time, but all I’d want is something to suggest as much on screen. Just a throw away line or two... Is that so much? Cut a scene or two with the Replacements and give us more Paladins.

As the paladins all fly to their thematically and elementally appropriate battlegrounds, I want to agree with some posts I’ve seen arguing that Pidge doesn’t just look concerned, or in the zone as the other paladins do. For at least one shot she looks sad. Troubled. Maybe I’m reaching. Probably reaching. Almost certainly reaching given the almost immediate Allura calling to Lance moment... The sequence of connecting with the lions though? And Lance protecting Veronica? Pretty much resigned to die before being saved by red...? Yeah, heavy and cool stuff.

But Admiral Asshole somehow getting in touch with Sendak? Betraying the entire planet? No. Just no. She can be a thorn in their side and an antagonist without being so utterly stupid. At this point she’s gone from concerned alternative view but essentially a good person trying to save the planet in her own way, to being pantomime levels of stupid. What a daft choice. What a needless choice. You know what would have worked better...? Sendak baiting the Paladins. It would play into his military genius archetype. He didn’t need intel from Admiral Asshole if the entire purpose of the planet killers was just bait for the paladins... We didn’t need admiral asshole to make a faustian pact with the people responsible for planetary genocide. Some of the choices this season just bewilder me. 

Well, at least no combining sequence before the Big Zapper Cannons hit. That’s something. I guess they can occasionally cut unnecessary scenes for time. 

The Paladins are asleep and it’s time for the replacement team to take centre stage again. Even with their own repeated launch sequence animation. Guess they can waste time after all. Admiral Asshole...

...yeah. Who would have thought that the mass murdering alien wasn’t to be trusted...? Except anyone written with an ounce of sense. I won’t deny, I completely and utterly lost interest during the Team Replacements moments. If you like them? Great. They were kinda written to be made valid off the back of the existing series so, I guess it worked for some, just not for me. I might even have been more keen on them myself ha they been secondary characters. But this season, they have so far felt like the focus. Yet also, they felt so undeveloped that they were like filler. They took up far too much focus that should have been on the Paladins. The characters I’ve been watching for six previous seasons. The characters I’m invested in. Even the launch of the Atlas - is it supposed to be a reference to The Gotengo in ship mode? - being powered by the Castle Crystal felt like a passing of the torch moment. There’s still a season left guys, can we wait until after this series ends maybe...?

Can we do The Paladins justice in their own series and make them the focus in their own series? Can we do the replacement team justice by making them the focus of their own series...? No? We’re going to try to do both at once and ultimately make both the worse off for it? Great, ok. Seems like a plan... SIGH

Soul-riding the lions? Now that’s a cool extension of the lore. That’s a cool new addition. That’s building more upon and actually watching Voltron again. Have I mentioned that it sometimes feels like I’m not watching Voltron any longer this season? Because, yeah, that. But during the parts where I was watching Voltron, it was great. Shame I couldn’t care more about Admiral Asshole’s sacrifice. They went beyond the pale with her outright betraying Earth. Noble sacrifice for an act of stupidity was just...meh. Didn’t feel like she’d be any additional motivation for the Paladins that earth already was. 

But damn does Shiro look good as the captain of a starship. Kudos where it’s due. The artists did a damn good job.

So, the final episodes... Great set up for a final confrontation. Yet within the first half of the first episode. Oh no. Voltron has been pinned. Oh no. The Atlas can’t do stuff. What will we do? Oh gosh I hope the new team of plucky do-gooders can save the day. Whatever would we do without them? I hope we can buy their toys soon. Stop it. Why won’t they just stop it...? Stop making them such a major focus. This isn’t their show...or yeah, maybe it is now. Maybe the Paladins are the side characters now? Sometimes it feels that way. They spent a lot of time out of commission, damaged, pinned or otherwise unable to act except in montages.

“Lance, I’m coming to help!” Yes, because Allura is just there to support and look shyly away from lion glances. Sigh. Can we have Allura who didn’t need to be defined by a love interest back please?

Then again, Shiro had some time to shine which was really appreciated. The Sendak/Shiro fight was...ok? I mean, it had a lot to live up to after the Kuron / Keith fight. And it just fell short in my opinion. And much as Keith saving Shiro is kinda the default... Given how they were building Shiro up to be the anti-Sendak, it felt like the final blow was robbed from Shiro just a little.

Then of course, we get The New Robeast. More powerful than anything they’ve dealt with before and utterly unannounced. Ok. Well at least they didn’t just go to sleep for a bit and let the new guys do everything. But they still found a way to force them in even now. Wouldn’t have shocked me at this point though if the new group had just beaten the robeast. The twin swords are cool, but sadly a Plance moment it wasn’t. Maybe it would have been in old Voltron. Formed by a stronger bond between the two. But not so much now. Just a thing that happens. Like Pidge’s new gun thing. Thing that happens. No build to it really, just happens. No lesson, no moment of clarity, no greater connection, just, happens. How does the Atlas have back up generators that can make it functional when it’s already been established the only thing that can power it is the castle crystal? It was a pretty big plot point. Until it was just forgotten about. The Atlas mech formed by Altean magic was pretty cool. Shiro has a lot of moments with Allura leading to it as well. More than she had with Lance even. I’ll come back to that. Fake out Pala-deaths was cheap. And if they only reason they put the focus on the new guys was for that fake out...? Screw that. What a waste.

Seeing Hunk and Shay reunited was nice but too brief. Nice to be wrong about Krolia, but I’m not expecting she’ll last the next season. Shock factor you see. Watching Earth change and develop in flash forwards and montage now makes me wonder why that couldn’t have happened earlier. And my answer is, probably to sell the new team. And that sucks. I’m not really looking forward to another season of the Paladins taking the back seat. I do kind of expect it though. In fact, I expect it will only get worse.

And of course, now in a mere 13 episodes we have to wrap up Lotor, Haggar, the rift creatures, any and all ships, don’t forget set up the new team, because I think there were a few subtle hints there’s a new team they want us to care about. How about that new team guys? New team! And do all that without it feeling like a giant rushed mess. Heh. Won’t hold my breath.

Overall? Season Seven as others have said for many reasons, is Voltron Legendary Disappointment. Now to be fair, the art, the music, the animation, the voice acting - even given some guff lines, kudos to Josh Keaton for making “Their very home” not sound stupid... All of that was great. All of those staff members involved? A plus, amazing. But the writing...? Oh my good gravy the writing is all over the damn place. Yes, I just write silly fanfics and they’re professionals so what do I know? Their paycheck invalidates my opinion, right? But to be frank some of the mistakes and I do mean mistakes are elementary continuity gaffs. Redundancy. Repetition. Over reliance on exposition. I mean, if this is considered professional then standards have dropped...  That’s not to say there weren’t moments of great writing. Moments where it felt like I was actually watching Voltron again rather than an advert for the new guys. But for the most part...? It was odd choice after odd choice. Daft move after daft move. Mess after mess. Forced and contrived plot point after forced and contrived plot point and if I was judging the series solely on the writing... I’d ask why nobody proofread the first draft.

But to literally everyone else involved in the show from the voice actors to the background artists to the intern fetching coffee...? You all did an amazing job with the mess you were given.

The Obligatory Over Long Shipping Bit

It’s not all about the ships, but... To some extent, it kinda is a little. Maybe even a very BIG little... At it’s most basic, a story, any narrative, has three parts.

The Beginning: The Status Quo, the ordinary world.

The Middle: A Challenge To The Status Quo, conflict, introduction of the special world.

The End: A New Status Quo, conflict resolved, special and ordinary world merge or become aligned to create a new standard.

And ships? Well, they’re an aspect of both the conflict in the middle and the New Status Quo at the end. Ships matter. The connection we feel to two or more characters and the connections they gain with each other? They matter. They are the story. So when I bang on about ships beneath, keep that in mind. Keep in mind that watching characters grow and grow closer is an integral part of narrative, romantic, platonic, whatever. Watching dynamics develop and shift between characters matters. That includes ships. And, I’m not calling the show bad because ships. The show itself is flawed, but overall still good. still very good in fact. All I want to do here is share my disappointment and frankly my confusion at the way that all the ships seem to be playing out right now.

But to start... Allurance. 

Let me say, emphatically state, that if you enjoy this ship I have no beef with you. I am not against you enjoying it. I am not trying to tell you you’re wrong. If you and I having different opinions on this is enough for you to unfollow me, then fair enough, goodbye and have fun elsewhere, no hard feelings. However, my opinion remains as it has done from the start. Whilst this could have been a solid canonical ship if things had been written differently, as it stands... I can’t support it and feel it’s the worst outcome for these two characters.

Now, I’ve seen the argument that “maybe it all happens off screen” and that I addressed in a post here. The long and the short of it, I want to see characters develop on screen rather than off screen. That is literally what I watch for. The On Screen Developments. Not off screen assumptions. On screen this season, Allura had more bonding moments with Shiro than with her supposed new love interest. Does that make sense to you? Because it doesn’t to me. Then there’s the argument that Lance’s feelings have grown and matured and changed. But honestly, on some level, if Allurance becomes canon, it feels like they haven’t. Let’s go through it on a very basic level.

Allura and Lance meet, he hits on her. - Lance wants to be with her. They work together. He continues to hit on her. - Lance wants to be with her. They keep working together. He hits on her and is jealous and possessive of anyone who even comes near her.  - Lance wants to be with her. Lance tones it down a little. Starts to be supportive. You’re the heart of Voltron etc. - Lance wants to be with her. Enter Lotor. Lance remains jealous and possessive, but plays it off to Allura as a joke. “You need a third wheel?” But to everyone else, including the mice, he makes it very very clear this makes him unhappy. - Lance wants to be with her. He makes that speech to the mice about wanting to be a better person, how he’s unworthy etc. etc. etc. - Lance wants to be with her. Allura finds out about this, seems less than pleased. - Lance wants to be with her. Allura breaks up with Lotor after finding out the man who changed her life is a genocidal space vampire. - Lance wants to be with her. Lance does the supportive hug scene. - Lance wants to be with her. Some stuff off screen presumably and Allura is suddenly over it. - Lance wants to be with her. Dual blushing scene, soft gazes lion scene etc. - Lance wants to be with her and suddenly Allura wants the same thing.

Now, to me at least, I never felt like Lance’s feelings for Allura changed. What changed were his tactics in pursuing that desire. The ultimate ulterior motive of wanting to be with her at no point altered. To me, that severely undermines his and Allura’s growth together. It re-frames the supportive friend hug in season six into the only possible on screen moment that she fell for him and to me that makes Allura seem weak willed, flighty and frankly weak as a character to be rushed into needing a new man so soon after Lotor. It makes Allura into the opposite of what she has been all along. It reframes Lance as being a creep who’s not being entirely honest and is just hanging on to get some Altean Action. It’s unwittingly supportive of the concept in toxic masculinity of No Doesn’t Mean No and I think that’s a dangerous message to be sending these days. We should know better. No means No, it does not and should not mean pursue them like an object you want to possess. In reality, that attitude being normalised can lead to obvious and dangerous extremes. In a story, the pursued partner loses their dramatic agency and is reduced to a prize or else wants to be possessed and is thus framed as less capable. I think the idea of Lance and Allura shifting their dynamic to “genuine romance” between  seasons and off screen is cheap. Overall, I feel it devalues both of them rather than enriching them as a ship and an end to two character arcs should. Maybe, like resurrecting Shiro / Kuron early being down to executive meddling, the same is true here? Maybe the plan was for Lance to break the mould of the stereotypical nice guy waiting in the wings? Maybe Lotor being bad was also executive meddling? Or maybe that’s just the scapegoat for the roads we missed out on? The potential lost...

Now, the weird thing is, I’ve seen the argument made that you wouldn’t say that about allurance if allura was a guy. Well...yeah I would. Because if nothing changed except Allura’s sex and/or gender but the events were otherwise identical then it would have exactly the same narrative issues. It would still be undermining both character’s growth and arcs. Chasing someone who isn’t interested is still toxic behaviour regardless of who does it to whom. But if you want to assume that I’m just saying this “because Allura’s a woman” then I guess I can’t stop you, but I hope you take my honest statement that it’s not the case as far as I’m concerned.  On the other side of this argument of well if x was y you wouldn’t z, well, that’s just you creating and answering a hypothetical question. Let’s say someone shipped, I dunno Keith and Cosmo. And the defence was “well you wouldn’t call it bestiality if cosmo was human.” And yeah, I suppose if something was changed so drastically there wouldn’t be a problem. But Cosmo is a wolf in Canon. And Allura is a woman in Canon. Maybe nobody would be saying Allurance has problematic elements if Allura was male or maybe the would. I feel that I certainly would see the issue regardless. But that argument is purely hypothetical and anyone who makes it has no way of proving it or supporting it.

There is however another issue in Canon that nobody seems willing to address. Alteans live for centuries. Centuries versus decades of lifespan. That kind of relationship will have the functionally immortal one watching the person they love ROT before their eyes. It will have them mourning their true love for CENTURIES or else callously moving on. It will, if they have or adopt kids, leave the functionally immortal one, watching their own descendants die. The functionally immortal partner will see their love reflected in their descendants eyes and faces. Forced to relive their loss generation after generation. I don’t want to contemplate that end for characters I care about. But that’s what would happen between Lance and Allura. I don’t want to think of Allura watching generations of hers and Lance’s kids and great grand kids dying like flies and thinking of her reliving that loss every hundred years or so as their next batch of descendants die in front of her. Maybe you see it as romantic? I see it as horrifying. And if the issue of Human vs. Altean ages is never dealt with on screen, I’ll assume the creators either didn’t think about it or assumed the audience wouldn’t care. Well I’m sorry, but you made characters that we love, they are part of a lore that we paid attention to. We do care and it does matter.

What I will admit is that maybe, just maybe the way I’m interpreting things isn’t what the creators intended. As much as I am a proponent of Death of the Author, I won’t disregard authorial intent. To those of you who don’t know, Death of the Author essentially states that; all media is a collaborative experience between audience and creators. That no one interpretation of a text is more valid than another. That interpretations can shift and change based on the time and context through which the text is viewed. That interpretations the author never intended are valid. Now, a lot of people seem to have this idea that “Death of The Author” means audience interpretation matters more than that of the author and completely overlook the idea of shared meaning and no one true interpretation. I’m coming at this from the point of view not that the audience owns the text but that we all, audience and author, equally share it and it’s infinite valid interpretations.

So that said, the authorial intent may well be that Lance and Allura’s relationship isn’t and was never meant to be a creepy guy being persistent. That it wasn’t meant to suggest that despite being rebuffed, he should carry on chasing. Maybe it wasn’t meant to seem like he was dishonest, swooping in after a break up to pick up the pieces. Maybe we’re supposed to ignore the ulterior motive to get into her pants that never changed from season one episode one? It may well be their intent was to show a relationship developing healthily and organically but they were rushed and it ended up feeling incomplete? But, that less positive interpretation is just not how it comes across to me and many others. Intent or not, we can only interpret what we see. We don’t hate the idea of these two characters being happy, we just feel like the way it’s portrayed so far doesn’t seem strong enough or doesn’t make it explicit enough that there has been sufficient growth and change on screen to really make us buy it. You may disagree. That’s perfectly valid. The authors may disagree. That’s perfectly valid. I disagree with those opinions and that too is perfectly valid. I don’t hate any of you for feeling the way you do or for reading the text the way you do. Everyone interprets media differently. Please do me the same courtesy and don’t hate me for my interpretation. We can both make valid points yet still disagree. There is not one true and absolute interpretation.

I suppose that leads me here. At this point, given the way that almost every ship possible has been hinted, teased, alluded to or given time onscreen... I wouldn’t be shocked if there aren’t any canonical ships by the end. Just hints. Forever hints. Because if nothing else, the Allurance shippers don’t deserve to be baited and switched. Even if I disagree with the way it’s been portrayed, even if I feel it was rushed and needed time on screen to develop, those shippers deserve a decent payoff if the show is going to tease it so damn hard and so damn obviously. The Sheith shippers have had plenty of hints as well. Kallura looks on the cards half the time. Hunay, Hunelle, Hidge/Punk all got hints at the possibility this season. Keith and Acxa, I was thinking they’d pull that as soon as Keith found her in the weblum. Plance, I may or may not have strong feelings about. Who can say? 

But given that the series so far has given so many contradictory hints, even assuming the caveat of multiple interpretations, how could anyone be happy by the end? I mean, if Plance happens and I still believe it makes the most sense for Lance and Pidge’s journeys and character arcs... Well what about the Allura / Lance dual blush moment...? The Allurance fans will ask that and rightly so. Why even include that if it isn’t going to go anywhere...? Chekov’s Gun. I can’t even deny myself that if the plan really was for Lance to move on, this would have been the season to explore that to make it feel organic. If Lance ends up moving on in the next season, then that will suddenly feel forced as well. The amount of ship baiting going on is a little frustrating. I can’t see how it could end in a satisfying way for every baited ship. So, maybe they’re just going to have nobody end up with anybody canonically? At this stage, part of me would rather have that than have my OTP confirmed in canon. Because if what has happened so far is anything to go by... I’m just going to be disappointed at it feeling rushed and artificial. Unearned and pulled out of left field at the last second. With all the build up to Allurance, whether I think it hit the mark or not, it feel like it would be cheap and rushed to have him suddenly move on in the next and last season. Plance might end up feeling not organically developed, just, info dumped into existence for time constraints. I’ve been seeing hints between Lance and Pidge since episode one. Waiting for them to change their dynamic for all that time and seeing hint after subtle hint, seeing how perfectly their two stories align. They literally and narratively complete one another. And yet, if it comes down to it that one line or one half baked scene or even one future still image in a montage at the end of the series, is the confirmation of them hooking up...? Then even I won’t feel like my ship was worth coming true in canon. I’d rather have it never come true than have it come true as badly, as forced, as potentially interpreted as toxic, as contrary to the narrative and as ultimately unsatisfying as Allurance seems to be right now. I have no issue with Allurance being the end game. I would just have wanted to see it done justice and right now... It just isn’t. Don’t agree? Ok, well...

Compare and contrast... One person in this series, Allura creates - using Alchemy - a means to be whole again. A weapon capable of overcoming a nemesis in visual dramatic parallel. Having learned Alchemy through tainted means from her Evil Ex, she’s now able to put it to physical tangible use for a new person. Not only that but she sacrifices her crown, her symbol of office, one of her last remnants of her dead home world in order to make that creation whole. She has shown this person nothing but respect and kindness otherwise.  Another person she barely interacted with aside from telling him to shut up then in the space of one episode they’re all blushy because reasons.

I’m being a little facetious, but let’s be honest.... What this shows is that Allura literally has a more meaningful and narratively significant set of interactions with SHIRO than she does with Lance this Season.  Shiro’s arm represents her turning the bad experience with Lotor to good. Her giving up her symbol of Altean Royalty shows she’s willing to sacrifice anything for him. And through that bond, she grants him the power to turn the Atlas into a giant robot. Where she created the Sincline out of a dishonest partnership, the Altas-Mecha is formed by honest...well, it looks like LOVE to me. Now I’m not saying I ship them. But if you showed me this season out of context with any of the rest of Voltron, I would be shipping Shiro with Allura even though he’s Gay. Because frankly, in the story told on screen this season that actually makes way more sense than shipping her with Lance. Even out of context, even assuming no Lotor, no previous issues, Lance and Allura being hinted just seems...out of nowhere this season.

Maybe I should just wait for the sequel series where everyone ends up with total randoms off screen that nobody is happy with? Maybe the ships that make the most sense and have been hinted at the most will be forgotten or end up with off screen unhappy marriages as some vague and irksome attempt at being “mature”. Yes, I’m still salty about Toph/Sokka as well as Kataang, what of it? Sometimes you just want the characters you have grown to love and adore to have a happy ending together. Is that too much to ask...?

So, season 8 predictions...?

After a heartwarming episode that teases Coranecker, Lotor will finally get his redemption arc. And by arc I mean, episode. There will be an entire episode devoted to info dumping how he wasn’t really a space vampire the whole time and Romelle got the wrong end of the stick. This episode will tease Lotura again as well as hinting at Hungar, Huntor, Hunlia and Huray, the Polyship of Hunk Coran and Shay. Haggar, having now established herself as the dark queen of the Quantum Abyss will send wave after wave of Altean-Robeasts at Voltron, before the series finally ends in, you guessed it, another big battle with another new big robot. There will be a “we won” montage, Sendak will somehow be resurrected or a void creature will emerge from Daibazol to set up the Big Bad for the sequel series. Maybe both. Nobody will end up with anyone and the next series and/or movie will be hinted at. We might end up with a cliffhanger to tease the sequel series. And we’ll all go away a little disappointed and a little happy all at once. Oh and Black Paladin Kaltenecker of course.

Salty semi-joking aside, at this point given how rushed the series has obviously become, I really would not be shocked if Lotor DID get a redemption plot that was dealt with in a single episode. Or a single sentence. Just like the way he was turned into a Genocidal Space Vampire in a single episode, I’m sure they can turn him into the Space Pope in a single episode. Maybe blame it all on a rift creature? Or maybe save that plot thread for the next series, given that in 13 episodes there’s no way they can cover everything they want to AND cover it as well as they want to. Or just never mention them again. It’s not like they were set up to be majorly important or anything. 

Also, if the whole of Voltron Legendary Defender is now going to be a backdoor pilot for Voltron The Garrison Guys or whatever, that seems disappointing more than exciting. Voltron Legendary Defender should be it’s own show first and a sequel should organically follow based on success or failure. If there was always a plan to have more seasons as a sequel series then...

USE THOSE EXTRA SEASONS TO GIVE THIS STORY THE ROOM IT NEEDED!!!

Make VLD the best it can be before assuming we need a sequel series at all. We wouldn’t have half the problems we have now of story lines feeling rushed if, get this the story lines had more episodes to not be rushed! We could have had more Past-Paladins. Keith’s backstory could have been explored as a full episode or two not spoon fed to us by time flashbacks. Allurance could feel less forced and artificial. Lotor’s betrayal could have been given more than a single episode info-dump. We could have actually explored Allura’s feelings and hr process of getting over one of the most important relationships in her life turning to shit. Give this story the time and space it needs to breathe and grow. Let THIS story be told in a well paced way rather than being forced to rush to hit the deadlines for the sequel series. If VLD ends up being less well received owing to bad or rushed writing, we may just end up with zero interest in the sequel series anyway. It’s self defeating!

Don’t have entire episodes devoted to characters who show up, info dump and then are mute for the rest of the season. Don’t have entire plot threads be rushed and resolved in time less than they deserve! And if you can’t do that...

THEN TRIM THE FAT!!!

We can probably all point to a bit that felt “rushed” or “forced” or “out of left field” and that all comes down to a single fact. So far, there has been far too much story to tell in far too few episodes. So certain plot threads end up suffering as a result. Not being fully realised. Not being given anything more than flashbacks and montages rather than full episodes examining in greater emotional depth and deeper narrative exploration.

I would rather see a simple story well told than a complex story rushed for time. What we seem to get in seasons 6+ of Voltron are attempts to tell the entire story they wanted but being forced to cut it short for time. Sadly, what would have been better than telling the full story badly would be telling as much of it as you can save well and discarding the rest. Maybe that’s already happened? Wouldn’t shock me.

Lotor deserved better. Allurance if it becomes canon, deserved to have been built upon to make it seem more deserved, less creepy nice guy. Allura deserved to have on screen time to adapt, grieve and move on from Lotor. Matt could have had time to develop his relationship on screen. Plance if it becomes canon deserves time to shine, because for many fans out there if it does becomes canon in season 8 then for them it will seem rushed, sudden, forced. Or worse, Pidge will always seem like Lance’s backup girl... As Said before, even me as a hardcore Plance Shipper feels like it can’t possibly be given the time it deserves to feel earned when we have just one season left to tie it all together....  So again, maybe all they can do at this stage is shrug and only ever give hints as to whom ends up with whom in this massive cast...? And then just spew out the sequel series. Because we gotta sell those new toys.

I cared and invested in the VLD characters. I wanted their story to be their story and not just a vehicle to sell the next series that, to be honest, I’m probably not going to be remotely interested in.

The Salt Floweth To An End

There is SO much potential in VLD that was squandered by things being rushed, compacted, cut and yet also being massively bloated despite this. Then there’s the obvious executive meddling that can’t have helped for a second... It just ends up making everything messy and unfocused. This season was a mess. Entertaining, yes, compelling, yes and damn good overall but with so many moments that just hit shy of the mark the creators obviously were aiming for. Almost all of it down to the writing. Because the animators, musicians, actors and all the other cast and crew did an amazing job. But the writing was...just a totally confused mess.

Overall, it ends up being Great rather than Exceptional which breaks my heart. Because the first 5 seasons? Exceptional. Every aspect. Especially the writing. But from Six onward? Everything seems to just crack and fray around the edges, the polish wears thin and the whole thing feels just slightly less like everyone involved gave 100%. Maybe a solid 90%, and some still went above and beyond... But things, in my opinion, shifted. Sometimes in service of “surprises” and sometimes just because they needed to rush. Whatever the case, it feels like somewhere along the line the writers stopped caring as much. If at all. Will I watch season 8? Sure. But I’ll always know it could have been so much more if they’d been given more time and more room to let the story flourish. At this point I doubt it’s possible given the already obvious lack of focus in the writing, that we’ll see every plot thread tied up to satisfaction. I’m not even going to kid myself that they’ll do it all well because that’s just not going to happen. I’ll be shocked if they manage it at all. Frankly I’ll be shocked if the last season doesn’t focus more on the new team again... I am not looking forward. It feels like a chore now. Will I watch the sequel series if there is one. No. Probably not.  I wanted Voltron Legendary Defender to be given all the time it needed to be exceptional. I didn’t want to watch an advert for the next series and the next group of characters and toys. Especially if we’ll just end up seeing them all wasted, rushed and never allowed to live up to their potential as well. I was invested in VLD and it sucks that my investment is used as a marketing ploy for a potential new show before being discarded. Ah well. There’s always fanfics I guess... Though even that tastes a little bitter now... Like I'm just another part of the Voltron Hype Machine and not even getting paid to do it... Sucks and it taints what I plan to do and what I already have done... I do want to continue supporting the show and the ship I love along with all the fans out there in The Garden, but right now... I’m left feeling so conflicted. In two minds about how much I enjoy this show and yet despite that, how often and how glaring some of the errors, missteps and plain crazy choices they seem to be making along the way... It’s hard to feel 100% positive, but I did make this post and I stand by it. If the Voltron writers won’t give us the reality that makes the most sense? We make it ourselves. I did make these three posts and I stand by all of them as well. Even now as it seems like the writer’s minds are falling apart like chunks of wet cake, I still maintain that Plance makes the most sense in the story for those two characters I loved. Will it still make sense at the end of the series? Honestly, yeah. I’m sure it will still make more sense than whatever the writers eventually decide to churn out. Here’s hoping Season 8 is...something...

[bestestbird]

i’ll have an order of cuddling with a side of a/b/o and size difference for uliro please!

First Uliro fill! It got away from me a bit, but it still has the requested elements :)

-

Galra blood stained the walls and floor of the Altean’s castle ship. They had been lucky that the blades were present for the fight. Nearly twenty Galra soldiers had been able to sneak aboard, and the Paladins, whilst used to fighting with Voltron, were not nearly as proficient at hand to hand combat.

Taking the life of a creature right in front of you was very different from doing so on a ship out in space. It was far more personal, and some of the Paladins had taken that reality hard.

Hunk, despite being an Alpha, and protector, was not dealing well the mental grapple of death. Fortunately, he had the Omega Lance to sooth him through it, and Ulaz thought it best not to interfere. A talk with an older warrior could come later, when he had sorted through his emotions and found questions.

There were other places where Ulaz was needed. The smallest Paladin, Pidge, had been injured in the fight, and needed medical attention.

“Ulaz,” Kolivan called out, and he turned to his leader, tilting his head in deference.

“Leader.”

“You are needed,” he stated, but surprised Ulaz by nodding his head in Shiro’s direction. “Keith is guarding,” he explained, and Ulaz understood.

They were not yet proficient in human body language, but they did understand Alphas, and were beginning to understand Keith. He was a very typical Alpha, and in this post battle situation, would guard any Omega in distress. He should be hovering over Lance or Pidge, but he was guarding Shiro, which meant the Omega was hiding his distress, and Keith, who knew him well, was able to discern that.

Ulaz, being an older Alpha that Shiro trusted had an obligation to comfort Shiro. Kolivan would make sure Pidge got sufficient medical attention.

Slowly, letting his feet fall heavier on the ground so Shiro could hear him, Ulaz approached Shiro. From his guarding point by the nearest entrance, Keith tensed, but didn’t move.

Shiro turned his head to look at Ulaz. He was smiling, which Ulaz had been told was a friendly gesture, although how genuine it was, he unable to tell. He could, however, read the Omega’s posture. Shoulder slumped, arms crossed, protecting himself. Leader had been right.

“How are you?” Ulaz asked, and the smile lessened. A bad sign? Ulaz was not sure.

“Fine, just in my own thoughts, sorry. I should be making sure everyone is okay.” The grip of his crossed arms lessened but did not disappear. Ulaz’s presence was not enough to calm him, he needed to change that.

“They are sufficiently looked after. Leader has made sure of that.” Ulaz reassured.

“I’m their leader, I’m the one who should be…” he trailed off, eyes roaming the room.

“Leader has been head Alpha for longer than you have been alive, do not doubt him.” Ulaz informed him.

Shiro stopped searching the room, and looked back to him, his arms tightened around his body as he muttered, “sorry.”

A mistake on Ulaz’s part. He had been too defensive of his head Alpha, and was failing them both as a result.

“I meant that as reassurance,” he explain, Shiro had always reacted favourably to honesty, “I am not angry.”

His arms uncurled slightly, “oh.”

“You are inside your mind,” Ulaz stated, making Shiro jump. Ulaz assumed he thought no one was watching him, and it created a small well of sadness inside him. Any Omega should know that the Alpha’s around him would be watching his emotions in times of distress, ready to comfort. It would be neglect not to.

“Is it that obvious?” Shiro asked, that same smile back on his face. Ulaz nodded, and Shiro sighted. He wasn’t sure what that meant.

“It’s just..,” he trailed off, and Ulaz waited, “it was so easy.”

Ulaz did not understand, so he twitched his ears to show interest, but quickly realised Shiro would not know what that meant.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“It shouldn’t be easy to…to kill people, but it was,” his arms tightened, pressing into his skin with an intensity that looked painful.

Ulaz stepped forward, stopping him. He placed one hand over Shiro’s elbow. The scent of distress was faint but prominent.

“We Galra hide our vulnerability behind our size and claws,” his other hand hand drifted up to Shiro’s cheek, but didn’t yet touch, “The first few times it is always easier than you think.”

“It wasn’t the first few times for me, was it? In the arena.” He closed his mouth, refusing to say more as he looked away from Ulaz.

Unsure of if he was doing the right thing, but wanting to do it, Ulaz placed his hand on Shiro’s cheek. It engulfed half his face, and his smaller fingers landed over Shiro’s neck, inadvertently covering his glands.

Ulaz stiffened for a reaction of anger. The gesture was too familiar for an outside Alpha. His hand was too close to Shiro’s glands, and over the Omega’s should he could see Keith ready with his hand on his knife.

Instead, Shiro leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. Ulaz’s muscles wound tighter as his heart raced. Perhaps it did not mean the same thing to human, but it did not matter to him.

Shiro was accepting an intimate form of comfort that Ulaz was determined not to ruin, but as he stared at Shiro, eyes closed, being vulnerable in Ulaz’s arms he knew that he couldn’t keep looking without other instinct arising.

Partially in defence of his own mind, Ulaz moved the hand on Shiro’s elbow to rest on his back, and Shiro moved with the silent command. He stepped in closer, pressing his body into Ulaz’s, his head resting against the Alpha’s chest.

Ulaz moved his hand over to Shiro’s opposite hip, and tightened his grip. Behind the Omega, Keith seemed to have relaxed, which in turn relaxed Ulaz. It was a sign he was doing the right thing.

They stood there, not saying a word as Ulaz counted out Shiro’s breathing, happy that it was even. His hand, still over Shiro’s glands, twitched occasionally, but he told himself to ignore that intimate aspect.

Unfortunately, his body didn’t listen, and after a while Shiro murmured into his clothes, “there’s something hard poking me.”

Ulaz gulped, ears flattening slightly, “a natural reaction.”

Shiro laughed, body vibrating in his arms in a way that Ulaz like.

“Okay, big guy. I’m not complaining.”

[vivalatoons]

My Talk: TMNT 2012

Today, 6 years ago, a new TMNT series came into our lives again. Grab a slice of pizza and take a walk down memory lane in a TMNT 2012 reflection. Booyakasha!

During this time, I had finished watching all TMNT series (not including the live action one) and movies. There was one more series that I had to watch.

I admit, I was one of those people when I saw TMNT 2012. Yes, I complain that there was another TMNT reboot. I trashed and bashed it and stated this reboot is going to bomb hard. Understand this. I didn’t hear anything about TMNT 2012 till the year 2015. During that time, I saw bad reboots and Nickelodeon’s “great” cartoons. Seeing that this is a reboot on Nick, this was a recipe for disaster. People were saying that this reboot is better than Teen Titans Go, so I knew this version of TMNT wasn’t going to be horrible. What made me begin to watch the show was the cast of the Turtles and my Turtle nostalgia. I’ll get to that later, but I start to watch the CGI 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

January 11, 2016. I tried not to get attract to the show. I was excited to see these new Turtles, yet I had my doubts. After watching The Rise of the Turtles Part 1 and 2, I was instantly hook on these turtles. I hated myself for being against the reboot. These episodes were brilliant, and my Ninja Turtles love grow three sizes that day.

Flaws. Not every show is perfect, but there were some things that I didn’t enjoy in TMNT 2012. I didn’t like that some of the characters didn’t get their moment to shine at times. Some episodes were a waste of time, and could have been used to answer things TMNT hasn’t address. I also hate how the shippers would go full crazy when they see littlest of things when the ship does something. It got pretty annoying. My leader in blue would fall to the cliché of self sacrifice and going on crazy one man missions. I hated how Nickelodeon kept making random scheduling changes in season 5. This was a bad move in Nickelodeon, because fans missed something because of those random schedule changes and it was a marketing plan for PlayMates to sell those damn toys. Half of the season was pointless and the other half was awesome. Those flaws didn’t stop me from enjoying the series.

Characters. I don’t need to mention characters, but I’ll repeat myself again. Each TMNT series has the basic set of characters. There’s the Turtles, April, Casey, Splinter, Shredder, etc. Some characters are brought back from past TMNT series like Karai, Rocksteady, Bebop, Bishop, etc. In this series, there are some new characters like Tiger Claw, Fishface, Shinigami, and more. I love how the 2012 series have the Turtles be more like teenagers from other TMNT series. Some of the characters I find to be the best in this show.

Animation. 2012 TMNT uses CGI and a bit of 2D animation when it comes to flashbacks and storytelling. It’s weird at first. After awhile, it’s interesting to see. The CGI is incredible when the characters show emotions and action sequences. I’m impressed with the crew and their talents.

Voice cast. Oh yeah, my favorite part of this show. I said the voice cast is what made me decide to watch the show, and here’s why. The voice cast is outstanding and their voice director is Andrea Romano. This woman was a voice director for Batman: TAS, Teen Titans, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Voltron: Legendary Defender, etc. She’s a legend! Jason Biggs voiced Leo till season 2 episode 19, then Dominic Catrambone voiced Leo till the finale. Seth Green voiced Leonardo from season 3 till the end. Rob Paulsen, Sean Astin, and Greg Cipes voiced Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo. Hoon Lee voiced Splinter. Kevin Michael Richardson voiced Shredder. Mae Whitman and Josh Peck voiced April and Casey. Kelly Hu and Gwendoline Yeo voiced Karai and Shinigami. There’s a ton of great voice actors including Eric Bauza, Nolan North, Clancy Brown, Phil LaMarr, Fred Tatasciore, J.B Smoove, David Tennant, Keith David, Corey Feldman, Tom Kenny, Roger Smith Craig, Charlie Murphy, Ashely Johnson, Minae Noji, Mark Hamill, Zelda Williams, and the list goes on and on. I adore the voice cast so much. All of them did a spectacular job.

How is it different from other TMNT series. The CGI is what tells them apart. Hamato Yoshi once lived in Japan with his wife and daughter. Tragedy stuck, and Yoshi goes to New York. One day, he gets four baby turtles. He bumped into someone, following him. Yoshi witness the men meeting, and decided to attack him. Yoshi defeats them, but a canister of mutagen splashes on Yoshi and the Turtles. Yoshi become a rat, and the turtles grew into little turtle tots. April, Casey, and Karai are teenagers in this reboot. The Kraang are a species of talking brain like creatures. Some references from the 1987 and 2003 series show up in this show from characters to arcs. It manages to be silly and dark at times, it’s a nice blend.

Ciro Nieli, Joshua Sternin, and J. R. Ventimilia. These wonderful people helped developed this remake. I thank them for being the right people to be in charge of this project. With great people running a reboot, it leads to the following.

TMNT 2012 is a great remake and best example of doing a reboot right. People can argue all they want about this version of TMNT, but you have to admit this…there was a lot effort put into this show. This show proves to that not all reboots are terrible. This series didn’t dumb down for kids. It manages to be a show for all ages to enjoy. Animation isn’t lazy, same for voice acting and writing. Ok, the writing had dip down at times, but most of the time it’s good. There is some heavy stuff in the show like violence, death, and more death. I enjoy how this show broke some boundaries at times, that makes the show more interesting and groundbreaking.

I’m always impressed about how this series turned out. It has a unique spin in animation, wonderful voice cast, and a perfect example of a good reboot. It really makes me happy that this series will be a part of TMNT universe. I praise the 2012 Turtles for making a few changes and still holds. It’s still the Turtles we all know and love. I still miss TMNT 2012. What I will remember about this version of Turtles is the character growth that the Turtles have. I saw Leonardo from being a nervous leader who doesn’t want to let his team down. He would make decisions and be the best leader ever. Donatello would have fail at times from his creations or inventions. He improves to himself and it helps others. Raphael is still our hothead turtle, but he learns not to his anger consumes him. Michelangelo was seen as a dumb turtle who cared about pizza and made jokes. In the end, he shows the bad guys what’s he made of and he’s not a turtle you don’t want to mess with. These turtles has wowed me and they are the best ninjas in the city of New York.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Starting Over 2

A/n: light smut and again a trigger warning. RPF

Link to Chapter 1

Words; 2, 356

Pairings: Richard Speight Jr. x reader

_________

A few days had passed since Richard had asked you on the date and with each passing day things were getting more interesting with each passing day. You and Richard had been texting for the majority of the past couple of days. Jared didn't hesitate to give you grief over it either.

“Must you keep doing this?”

You asked when he questioned you about when you would be marrying Richard. Jared's snarky smile faded as he sat down on the couch.

“Is it bothering you?”

You shook your head.

“No, I am just ready to smack you over the head with something for being well...you.”

Jared chuckled knowing that you were fighting back a smile. He sat down on the couch beside you and leaned back against the couch.

“It's just good to see you smile.”

You looked at your brother with a raised eyebrow.

“I have to say that I was a little surprised that you was cool with me dating your friend.”

Jared shrugged.

“I know Richard is a good man and will treat you the way that you deserve. I know he's no Keith.”

Jared's face went sour at the mention of your ex's name. He looked down sadly at his feet. You knew that Jared was blaming himself. Reaching out you squeezed his hand.

“Jared, what happened with him wasn't your fault! You did what you were supposed to.  When you found out what was happening and hopped the next plane to come get me. Let's move on, okay?”

Jared nodded eagerly.

“You're right! I don't tell you enough but I am proud of you.”

Before you could move to hug him Jared had you in one of his best “bear hugs.” When he finally let you go, Jared stood.

“Better go get ready for your date. Richard will be here soon.”

20 minutes later you stood in your bedroom looking at your reflection. It was so different from going to heavy thick winter clothes to standing in a sundress. As you continued to make adjustments your cell phone rang. Looking down you heart froze seeing no other then Keith's number.

“Oh no! We aren't starting this!”

You immediately hit decline and went back to what you was doing until there was another noise from your phone. Looking down it was a text now. After months of being away, now Keith decided that he wanted to talk? Why did he think that you would remotely want to speak to him? What did he expect you to do? He beats the shit out of you then hocus pocus you are supposed to love him again?

“Y/n, we need to talk. It's been a while. Hear me out. Call me.”

You hit delete and smiled the moment you heard Richard's voice down the hall. There was no way that Keith was going to mess this up! You were going out with the man that you wanted! What was in the past was gone!

The first half of the date went perfectly. Richard had you laughing throughout dinner. You were relived that the smile hadn't left his face either! Deep down you were afraid that something would go wrong and he wouldn't like you as much as you had hoped. This however, turned out to be a false worry!  

After dinner, the two of you went to a bar that was thankfully not too crowded. Richard pulled you into a booth in the back that was out of eye shot of most people.

“Now we can talk without all of the eyes.”

Richard said as he looked around making sure all was well. He leaned back into the booth enjoying that the two of you were super close.

“You look beautiful.”

He said looking you over for the millionth time of the night. You smiled knowing that he was trying to keep his eyes from lingering on your chest too much.

“Thank you. Its weird wearing such few clothes now. I am so used to wearing layers.”

Richard's eyes rolled back down to your bare shoulders and cleavage.

“Well I am not complaining, sugar. Sorry, this may come as a shock but my flirting skills are kind of off.”

Taking a leap of sheer faith, you reached out and let your hand stroke over his. Richard didn't waste a second before intertwining your hands.

“I think you are doing just fine.”

You said confidentially. As gently as possible, you let you fingers stroke the side of Richard's cheek. Richard looked at you seriously.

“You are going to have to tell me how fast you want this to go. I don't want to mess this up.

At the moment you didn't care how far it went. All you wanted was Richard's lips on yours.

“Kiss me.”

You managed to half whisper. Richard looked at you for a moment before reaching out  and pulling you into a kiss. Things quickly heated up and the next thing that you knew you were straddling Richard's lap. After a few minutes of heavy kissing and petting you slowly pulled away. Richard leaned his head back breathing heavily.

“Holy shit.”

He muttered becoming aware how hard he was under you. You pressed your lips together.

“I don't want you to think that I am a slut.”

You said, looking away from his intense gaze. Richard sat up slowly so that you were fulling sitting on his lap. His hands intertwined with yours.

“I wouldn't think that you were a slut, darlin.”

You sat quietly perched on his lap a moment longer before gently kissing him again.

“So I could tell you to take me home and have your way with me and you would want to see me again?'

You had to stop yourself from giggling at how Richard's eyes went to the size of quarters.

“Sugar, its going to take a lot more then sex on the first date to stop me from wanting to see you again. I haven't been with anyone in a while so trust me it won't be hard to talk me into going to bed with you.”

“So Richard, how about it. You and me....”

He quickly started looking around the bar with big eyes.

“Where the fuck did that bartender go?!”

15 minutes later you and Richard stood crammed against the wall of his living room. This was totally not what you had planned! This was the first time on a first date that you even considered sleeping with the person. Richard was different! Everything felt different! This had potential!

Richard's hands on your chest quickly pulled you from your thoughts as he tugged at the zipper on the back of your dress.

“This dress has been a tease the whole night. I have tried to not be a perv and stare at your boobs but I think I failed miserably.”

When he finally got the dress unzipped his hands reached up cupping your breasts before tugging your bra off. He stepped back looking impressed with himself.

“That is the easiest bra that I have ever gotten off. Pretty proud of myself.”

You laughed as he pulled you into the bedroom closing the door behind him.

Some time later you lay snugged on Richard's chest as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“So you don't think I am a slut?”

You questioned with a smile. Richard chuckled.

“If you are a slut then so am I. Y/n, you are perfect to me. Sweetheart if you want me to be a slut for you I believe that you have my name and number.”

The sense of no regret and no awkwardness was the best feeling in the world. This felt like what love making was supposed to feel like. Had you really been without this all of your adult life? Apparently so!

“I may have to take you up on that.”

You replied sweetly. Richard was quiet for a few moments before looking back at you. This time his expression was a lot more serious.

“Y/n I gotta know, is this a one time thing or do I get to see you again?”

Slowly sitting up so that you were leaning over him, you leaned down running your hand through his now very messy hair.

“What do you want?”

Richard quickly flipped you over so he was over you. You sighed happily at the feeling of his body pressed against yours.

“I want whatever I can get from you. I've been crushing over you like a teenager.”

You had never pulled someone into a kiss so fast in your life!

“Rich, I want this, us. I want to be yours.”

Richard looked relived as he went back to laying on his back with you in his arms.

“You got it princess.”

The following few months passed more quickly than any in recent memory. Things with Richard heated up quickly! It was wonderful being with someone that wanted you vs someone who felt like they had to deal with you!  Being wanted was the best feeling yet.

Jared and Gen had quit asking when you would be home at night after getting the message that you were sleeping at Richard's 90% of the time. The only time that you weren't together was when he was out of town for conventions or filming somewhere.

One morning you woke up earlier than normal. Richard had been out of town for almost two weeks and was coming by to pick you up. His plane had came in super early that morning. He had went home with Rob instead of getting you to come out that early in the morning; even though you were cool with it. When he promised to come and get you around 9 you agreed eagerly.

Walking down the stairs you felt your phone buzz. Expecting a message from Richard you almost tripped on the last step when you saw Keith's number.

“I mean it Y/n. You better call me. You need to get back to Alaska and get all of you shit you left or its going out in the snow! This is your last warning.”

You froze on the last step reading the messaging several times feeling that horrible sense of misery wash over you for the first time in months! How was it Keith always knew when you were enjoying life and had a way to spoil it?

Walking into the kitchen you knew that you were looking dreadful. The last thing you expected was to see Richard sitting at the table. The happy smile on his face faded the moment that he saw you.

“Sugar, are you okay?”

You nodded, putting on a forced smile.

“Yeah.”

Richard stood up after exchanging looks with Jared and Jensen.  

“And I am no buying it. What's going on, Y/n?”

You looked up at him with frightened eyes as Richard's hands gently tilted you face to his. Jared didn't even move from his spot. He ran a hand over his face.

'What did Keith do now?”

Richard instantly looked furious as you took out your phone a handing it to Richard. He looked down at the message.

“Y/n please tell me that you aren't going to Alaska?”

You shook your head.

“He can just get rid of my stuff for all I care. Besides my restraining order is about up and I don't want to be anywhere near him.”

Jared stood.

“Wait, you left a lot of your stuff behind. Like pictures and stuff from our grandparents that we won't be able to get back.”

You shrugged.

“Not much I can do about it.”

Richard cleared his throat.

“I'll go to Alaska with you. You aren't going anywhere in that state without me.”

Jared nodded.

“Jensen and I are sure as hell going to. Trooper boy isn't starting his shit.”

You smiled, feeling relived. Before you could really give your thanks your cell phone that was still in Richard's hand. He looked down before rolling his eyes.

“Speak of the devil.”

He quickly hit the answer button as his face took on a whole new expression of rage that you hadn't seen before. He started talking furiously to Keith. For a moment you didn't listen. You didn't want to go into a panic attack! What if Keith told Richard a bunch of bullshit and ruined what you two had? You couldn't deal with that! For once in your life you had partner that was perfect for you!

When Richard spoke again he got your attention,

“Yeah, I am her new boyfriend and I am twice the man that you will ever be! My suggestion for you asshat is to stay the fuck away from my girl! Yeah? I don't care if you are a cop! I don't care if you are the god damn president! Fuck off!”

When Richard hung up, he put the phone down in a huff. Jensen and Jared were quiet for a moment. Both clearly had no idea what to say. You meanwhile, stepped forward wrapping your arms around Richard's shoulders. He didn't waste a second in tucking your head under his chin and holding you close.

Jensen was the first one to talk,

“Dude did you ever know when you get mad that your southern really shows?”

Richard gave him a scowl before pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“You two might need to come along because if I run into that fucker I am going to be in jail.”

Jensen chuckled.

“Ah, I'll just punch him again.”

Richard looked pleased enough with the fact that he would have back up. The way that he was feeling right now he could probably knock Keith into the ground himself.

“Come on sugar. Lets go get some air.”

You couldn't agree more! Air was definitely what you needed!  

____

@sumara62

@tas898

@li0nh34rt

@sherala007

@authoressskr

@kocswain

[sylvermyth]

Snow Day

THIS IS PURE, UNADULTERATED FLUFF that I wrote because I TOO HAD A SNOW DAY and thus had some extra free time to write!  ALSO I got inspired because on the way to work, I saw one of the firemen building a snowman outside of the fire station, so.  This happened.  It is a sequel/second chapter to COLD SNAP!  Anyway, enjoy!

Snow Day

It was supposed to be spring.

And yet.

And yet, it was snowing. Not even a full day into the official start of spring, and it was snowing. Keith supposed he couldn’t be too upset, though, since the last snow day had resulted in a bare-chested Shiro in his apartment (and he still couldn’t get over how unfairly attractive Shiro was) and a subsequent coffee date (which had resulted in more dates). Just, everything up until that point had been catastrophically awful.

But it hadn’t been the snow’s fault, and today hadn’t started with a series of unfortunate events. He had a mostly-full cannister of coffee in his kitchen, and next to it a brand new bag of Shiro’s favorite flavored coffee, just in case. So he’d been able to follow his routine—coffee, quick workout, shower—at his usual time, only to see he’d missed a call from Kolivan telling him they were closing shop because of the weather. Which, despite the missed opportunity for a lie-in, was hardly bad news.

It would be nice, to have an extra day off, to spend it wrapped in his blanket on the couch, with Red purring beside him, or if she was feeling affectionate, in his lap. The day was full of opportunity—binge-watching TV, gaming, reading, eating—there was literally nothing to complain about.

Except, there was.

There was no one to snuggle up to. Keith had, until recently, been comfortable with that fact. He’d never really felt the need to seek out a relationship, and the thing with Shiro had been…an accident, really, in all sense of the word. Keith had expected maybe a quick hook-up, some mutual satisfaction before they parted ways, but then, he hadn’t counted on Shiro. Shiro, who was as silly and sweet as he was sexy. Shiro, who slipped under Keith’s defenses without Keith realizing it, until sitting on the couch alone felt strange, when he was beginning to get used to having Shiro warm next to him.

Unfortunately, Shiro was at work.

Fortunately, Shiro’s work was the fire station only a few blocks down, and the thought spurred Keith up, an idea already forming in his mind as he made a beeline to his kitchen.

Behind the coffees was Keith’s stash of hot chocolate supplies—real hot chocolate—and a half-used bag of marshmallows held closed with a chip clip. Because maybe Shiro had access to a full range of hot beverages at the station, but he didn’t have Keith’s hot chocolate, which was a necessity for a day like this. Snow, hot chocolate—they went hand-in hand. Especially when it was supposed to be spring.

Keith bent over the stove with the hot chocolate, his face heating up as he imagined Shiro’s reaction when he brought it over, topped off with a thick layer of marshmallows just the way he liked it. It was a little terrifying, how quickly Shiro had become a fixture in his life, how much Keith wanted to see his smile—but Shiro was just as earnest to do the same. It was a consolation. No, not a consolation, because that would imply he’d lost something. It was more like…a revelation. Something like that.

In any case, Keith wasn’t used to feeling quite so giddy over anything, not without a modicum of apprehension. And Shiro was so good at easing Keith’s apprehension, without even trying, so…that was that. Keith figured he at least deserved a surprise visit with hot chocolate for it.

Keith’s only travel mug probably should’ve been embarrassing. But Kolivan had been straight-faced when he’d given Keith the Hello Kitty mug, and really, it was cute, and reminded him a little bit of Red. And it was practical, so he had no second thoughts about pouring Shiro’s hot chocolate into it before topping it off with marshmallows, before bundling up and heading out, holding the mug protectively against his chest.

Despite the late snow, it wasn’t terribly cold out when Keith closed his door behind him. It was, however, snowy enough that he had to pick his way across un-shoveled walks, and by the time he was within sight of Shiro’s station, he was already covered in a fine layer of white, wet and cold where it found bare skin. But the mug was mostly unaccosted, and that was the important part.

Keith realized, abruptly, that there was a flaw to his plan. Although he knew Shiro worked at the station, he hadn’t visited him there before, and didn’t know the protocol for said visits. Or even if he would be allowed in, or where to find Shiro. Just as he was starting to worry over that fact, he caught sight of movement in from of the building, a dark shape, low to the ground, moving against the backdrop of white. And, a moment later, the familiar timbre of Shiro’s voice, and Keith paused, taking in the scene before him.

Shiro was bent low, packing snow into a sizable ball, presumably the base of a snowman. Much like Keith’s first meeting with Shiro, he wasn’t dressed for the weather, the light ATFD jacket hardly more protection than a sweatshirt, and Keith couldn’t help the smile that was tugging at his lips at that alone. And—it was so like Shiro to be building a snowman in front of the fire station, and Keith just stood and took the sight in, for a long moment. Shiro was so wrapped up in his project, calling back to the tall woman hovering closer to the door who had an even larger snowball, that he didn’t notice Keith.

The woman did, though, and called out to him. “Did you want to help? We still need to form the head.”

“I said I’d do that,” Shiro protested, tone petulant, but then his gaze swung to Keith, and his face lit up with a wide grin. “Keith!” He straightened, and before Keith could do anything stupid, he thrust the travel mug in Shiro’s direction.

“I brought you something.” Keith felt his face heating up, which was a feat considering the chill in the air, but at least he could pretend his flush was due to the weather. He managed to meet Shiro halfway, and elaborated, “It’s hot chocolate.”

Shiro beamed and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek, one arm wrapping around Keith in a hug as he accepted the mug. “Thank you.” His voice was warm, enough to chase off some of the cold seeping into Keith’s skin, and Keith muttered a You’re welcome into his scarf. He started when Shiro pulled out of the hug, just enough to bring his hand up to tilt Keith’s chin for a proper kiss, stealing his breath.

It was brief, and when they parted, Keith complained, “Your hand is cold.”

Shiro chuckled, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. “Well, if my hands were warm, Snowtron would melt!”

Keith sputtered. “Snowtron?”

“Yes!” Shiro gestured at the half-finished snowman, eyes bright. “Snowtron the snowman.”

The woman who had been in the background stepped forward now, something like a smirk on her face. “Yes, and Shiro insists he be the one to make the head.”

“It’s an important duty,” Shiro said, mock-serious. “But if it was Keith, I wouldn’t mind as much. By the way, Keith, this is Allura. Allura, Keith.”

Allura raised one perfectly-shaped eyebrow. “I never would’ve guessed,” she deadpanned, she and Shiro exchanged a look. Her face softened after a moment, and she turned a smile onto Keith. “It’s lovely to meet you, Keith. Shiro has spoken very highly of you.” She glanced at the Hello Kitty mug in Shiro’s hand. “What an interesting choice of design.”

Keith shrugged. “It reminds me of my cat.”

Shiro’s smiles were going to be the death of him, Keith decided an instant later. “Red is pretty cute.” Or the winks, because it was devastating, being on the receiving end of that, and just like the first time, Keith didn’t think Shiro meant his cat.

“So are you,” Keith blurted, and then immediately burrowed deeper into his scarf to hide his mortification. And then straightened, thinking better of it, because it was true. Who the fuck builds a snowman and named it Snowtron? Freakishly cute firemen who acted like earnest schoolboys, apparently.

Allura’s gaze darted between them. “You know,” she said slowly, “I think I’m going back inside to warm up some.” She rolled the large snowball over and stopped it next to Shiro’s smaller one. “Why don’t you guys finish this up without me?”

Shiro waved absently to her retreating form. He was still smiling at Keith, and Keith wondered what he’d ever done to earn such an adoring look from Shiro. Maybe the hot chocolate helped, but Shiro had barely taken a sip of it.

“Come on, Keith,” he said at last. “Why don’t you do the honors and make Snowtron’s head?” He set the mug one a clear patch of sidewalk long enough assemble the two parts of the snowman already set out, and Keith admired his strength as he lifted up the middle section. He figured, the sooner they finished Snowtron, the sooner he could have Shiro’s undivided attention, so he did so without complaint.

And, in truth, it was a little fun, a little silly, enough to have him laughing with Shiro. Enough to make him forget about the cold making his fingers stiff and clumsy—and that made it all the better, a few minutes later, when Shiro shared the hot chocolate with him to warm up (despite Keith’s protests).

Shiro dragged him inside, saying, “Why don’t I give you a tour? I’ll introduce you to everyone,” and Keith didn’t have any reason to protest. Didn’t even want to, but Shiro still added, “It’ll give you a chance to warm up before you go back out.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” It felt significant, somehow, too, and Keith couldn’t help the way his heart swelled in his chest, thumping wildly.

[hatandgoggles-writing]

Crazy, Millennial Love Story chapter 2

Read on AO3, FF.net or under the cut, or read the illustrated version on my Patreon!

Shiro, still convinced that this offer for a modeling gig is one big misunderstanding, joins Allura in a fancy café to set things straight. However, once there, even with all his cards on the table, he and Allura hit it off better than either of them expected.

Chapter 2 of ? Ongoing 1067 words Modern/romance

Shiro hadn’t meant to seem desperate in his message to Allura, but it was true. He had been unemployed ever since he had his accident. His rehabilitation had given him some sort of a rhythm, and so had job hunting in the few months after, but now that he had given up on that as well, he had more time on his hands than he knew what to do with. So, unsurprisingly, Allura had suggested they meet up at Montgomery’s Coffee And Pastries at noon only two days after they first started messaging.

The man had thought it would be a regular old coffee shop, like the ones where he used to treat his colleagues to donuts, but when he googled the place in order to find the address, he panicked. Shit. This place had coffee that looked like it cost three months of his pension, and he was planning to show up in a windbreaker jacket and a pair of gray sweatpants.

“Keith! I need to borrow one of your dress shirts!”

“What makes you think you can fit into my clothes?!” The other protested around his toothbrush, as he had only just gotten up.

“Nothing, it just turned out Allura invited me to this fancy café and I can’t just show up in my sweatpants.”

“Exactly how does that surprise you? She’s loaded, Shiro.”

“Please, just help me pick something that will look nice.” Shiro pleaded.

Keith quirked an eyebrow, as he had never seen the man this desperate to look good for someone before. ‘He must really want to impress this girl.’ he mused inwardly. “Just put on the only pair of jeans you own, a blank t-shirt and try to see if the jacket in the back of your closet still fits.”

“Thanks, Keith!” Shiro shouted, running off to his bedroom. Only a few minutes later, he came back wearing just what Keith had suggested. “Seriously, I feel like the sleeves are gonna fall off this thing if I try to move my arms.” He complained.

“No, keep it on. You wanna impress her, this is definitely going to impress her.” Keith nodded, patting his shoulders. “If you ever need another ‘Queer-Eye’, you know where to find me. Now go, you’re probably late already.”

“Uh, hey.” Shiro said nervously. “Sorry I’m late. It was a little further away from my place than I thought.”

“That’s okay, I don’t mind.” Allura said, smiling sweetly. Shiro blushed. This woman had the voice of an angel, and yet, she was doing unholy things to his poor little heart. The man only snapped out of his daze when a waitress approached them.

“Can I get the two of you anything?” She asked in a friendly tone.

Allura was the first to speak up. “For me a caramel macchiato, with an extra pump of vanilla and a piece of chocolate cake, please.”

Shiro instantly grew nervous when the waitress’ gaze fell on him. He only knew what several of the words that just came out of Allura’s mouth meant. He was way out of his depth here, and it was just a fancy, cutesy coffeeshop. “C-Coffee, please…”

“Americano or espresso?” the waitress asked.

“Espresso?” Shiro tried, uncertainly. If he were completely honest, he just went with the fanciest sounding coffee in hopes of not seeming out of place.

“Alright. Coming right up.” She smiled, leaving the two of them alone.

“So, Takashi—”

“Please, call me Shiro. All my friends do.” Shiro interrupted her in a nervous attempt to seem more friendly.

“Of course, Shiro. Well, I asked you to come here to discuss the possibility of a collaboration between the two of us. I mean from your photos it looks to me like you’re on your way to becoming a very good, unique model—”

“I’m sorry to cut in again, but… I think this is all a big misunderstanding.” Shiro mumbled, looking away from her as though he felt guilty. “I’m sorry if I was leading you on, but I just wanted to tell you in person that I didn’t do any of that. My roommate, he’s a photographer, he made the account for me so he could get more exposure and followers. I’m so new to all of this, I’m not sure how I can help you with this.” He said, putting all his cards on the table. “Honestly, I was just glad to be invited to get coffee with a woman as beautiful as you.”

This time, it was Allura who blushed. “Wait, are you telling me you’ve never modeled before?” She asked.

“Uh, yeah… I’ve only ever been a cop. Modeling never even crossed my mind until my roommate kept insisting I should do it for him. You, uh, you seem surprised.”

“Well, yes. In those pictures you seemed so confident, so in your element… You looked like you’ve been doing this for years.” Allura explained.

“Well, a few bottles of beer can go a long way with me.”

The woman giggled at that. “Seriously, though, I’m still interested in working with you. Would you mind if I explained my offer for you? I promise, you won’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

Shiro paused for a second but then nodded. “If you still want to work with me after all of that, sure.” He smiled.

“Alright, so, I recently invested in this fashion label that design and make high-end, hand-sewn clothes. They recently finished their very first men’s collection for the spring. They just didn’t have anyone to model it for them yet.”

“And you want me to model the clothes for them?”

“Exactly. Just a few photos that will be included in press releases, on their webshop and on my blog. Of course you can use them for your own social media and portfolio as well.”

“Well, uh… Yeah. Sure. I’ll do it.” Shiro said, smiling enthusiastically. Anything to see more of this beautiful lady. “On one condition, though.”

“Which would be?” Allura asked, slightly taken aback by the demand.

“I was just hoping that Keith could tag along. He’s the guy who took my pictures before. I think I would just feel more comfortable with him around.” Shiro said, smiling sheepishly.

“Of course.” She giggled, carefully moving out of the way when the waitress showed up with their order. “So, enough business. How has life been treating you, Shiro?”

[sp4c3-0ddity]

if you still do the meme thing ♛ for plance please <3

things this has:  fluff, humor (or, i try anyway), and bizarre worldbuilding (but the dessert is somewhat based on a real dessert that i have very Mixed Feelings about). anyway, i hope you like it!! <3

Sharing a dessert

Except for an odd utensil thatlooked like a cross between a spoon and a knife, Yudenans ate with their hands.

Which was fine for the appetizerand main course, which were both dry enough and relied heavily on bread, butwhen a tiny dessert plate with a pretty pastry was placed in front of Pidge,she started regretting all of her life choices as soon as she saw the syrupdripping from the edge.

“Pastry” might not be the bestword to describe the dessert. It actually looked more like a few rolls ofJell-o but thicker and firmer, stuffed with something like cream or a thin,milky cheese, and topped with red slices of a fruit preserve and drenched insweet, sticky syrup.

Not that Pidge knew for sure itwas sweet, exactly, because she spent more time staring at it suspiciously thanon tasting it, tapping the edge of the plate with the spoon-knife and wonderingwhy Allura couldn’t be moved when she asked if she would be more useful at theCastle rather than playing diplomat on a planet whose name she could barelyremember.

At least all their attendance wasmandatory, though even Keith made a better show of looking interested thanPidge did, stabbing into each roll as best as he could with a knife that wasalso a spoon.

(Earlier she spotted Shiro grabbinghis wrist and keeping him from pulling out his Marmora Blade. Utilitarian,sure, but a Galra blade out during dinner would be difficult to explain totheir hosts.)

Pidge sat between Hunk and Lance.Of course, Hunk relished any opportunity to try new food and possibly recreateit with a twist later, so she was not at all surprised at how relaxed he lookeddespite the formal dining setting, smiling as he ate.

Lance didn’t look as wound up asshe felt either; he loved attention and laughed and spoke and listened at allthe right moments. And though he didn’t seem to be enjoying his food as much asHunk did, he seemed to have figured out a way to use the strange utensil.

Pidge stared at it again,wondering what sort of societal evolution would’ve had the Yudenans inventsomething like it. On one side it was curved and concave like a spoon, but onthe other it flattened and was sharp like a knife. As a soup spoon it would beinsufficient, and it would be useless for chopping meat or vegetables, but forthe unusual dessert in front of her, it might be perfect.

Actually, if Pidge didn’t know anybetter, she would suspect the spoon-knife utensil was invented explicitly for this sort of dessert.

Necessity is the mother of invention, she thought wryly, amuseddespite how ridiculous it all was.

“Are you not going to eat that,Pidge?” Lance asked, interrupting her musing.

Pidge glanced at him, unsure if hewanted to finish her untouched dessert or if he was just worried (sometimes, itwas difficult for her to tell). But she nudged the plate towards him and said, “Youcan have it. I’m full.”

“You sure?” Lance said. He narrowedhis eyes at her, and Pidge flushed under his scrutiny. “It’s good; at least tryit?”

She looked between him and the sweet,then sliced the edge off one of the rolls with the knife edge of the utensiland used a fingertip to nudge the piece onto the spoon part. And she broughtthe spoon-knife to her lips and tasted it.

It wasn’t as sweet as Pidgeexpected; in fact, the syrup had a hint of something sour, like oranges. Butthe texture of the roll made her want to gag, since her teeth sunk deep intoit, but when she chewed, she couldn’t tear it apart. And the cream in thecenter tasted like sour milk, which made everything worse.

“You liar,” she hissed at Lance when she finally managed to swallow thefirst awful bite. She reached for her glass – not an intoxicant, since theYudenans genuinely avoided those on principle – and gulped the contents downuntil it was empty, at which point she started eyeing Lance’s half-full glass.

“What?” Lance said, blinking ather in innocent confusion. (It was alla trick though.)

“It’s chewy,” Pidge complained. She reached up and rubbed her teeth, asif she could wipe the lingering feeling of the food away like that. “And it’s not sweetat all.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “You justcan’t appreciate good food.”

“Please,” Pidge said, nudging the partly severed roll with hereating utensil, “this tastes like a cross between a sour gummy worm dipped ingelatin dipped in orange glaze dipped in spoiled milk.” She crossed her arms. “Thebest I can say about it is that at least the milk it was dipped in isn’t chunky yet. Also,” she addedcontemplatively, prodding the red fruit preserves arranged artfully on top ofthe rolls, “these aren’t too bad.”

Lance stared at her, dumbfounded,then laughed. “God, Pidge, that was the most colorful description of food I’veever heard,” he said, “and I’ve been friends with Hunk for years.”

“Hey,” Hunk finally interjected, “maybeI like sour gummy worms crossed with gelatin and dipped in orange glaze?”

Pidge looked at Lance, andtogether they turned to Hunk. “Even you can’t improve on this,” she said.

“True,” Hunk agreed, but he smiledimpishly. “But that’s because it’s perfect as it is.”

Pidge rolled her eyes at Lance,who grinned at her. “So you want to finish my dessert?”

“When you have a perfectly goodHunk right there?” Lance retorted with a nod towards him.

“Hey, don’t mind me,” Hunk said. “Thisis obviously a romantic question, and I’d rather not be on the receiving end ofLance’s jealousy.”

Pidge snorted into the crook ofher elbow while Lance screeched, “Hey!”

Pidge shushed him with an elbow tothe ribs, suddenly conscious that they were surrounded by people and thatPrincess Allura was throwing them a dirty look from over Shiro’s head. She smiledapologetically – and hopefully innocently– at her and told Lance, “Take the rest of my dessert, hon.”

“You got it, babe,” Lance replied.

When she pushed the plate backtowards her, he started in on the remaining rolls, but then she noticed him deconstructing them by picking the fruitpreserves off and moving them to the edge of the dish.

“What’re you doing?”

“I didn’t really like this redstuff,” Lance said with a dismissive wave of his free hand.

“Sure you didn’t,” Pidge said, pointedlyeyeing his very empty dessert plate.

Lance shrugged and ate. “Okay,fine,” he said with his mouth full. After he swallowed, he faced Pidge properlyand said, “You told me they weren’t toobad so you’re eating them.”

“No thanks,” Pidge said. Shecrossed her arms and looked away.

“You know,” Lance said airily, “Alluradid warn us that the Yudenans takeany food left behind as an insult.”

“Then you eat them.”

“What if I’m full now?”

“Oh, you’re full of something, allright.” Pidge leaned towards him, close enough she could catch a whiff of hiscologne – a much nicer scent than the burning candles arranged around thedining hall gave off – and said, “If you don’t eat them, I will give them toHunk.”

Lance narrowed his eyes at her. “Youwouldn’t dare.”

Pidge smirked at him. “I’m theGreen Paladin. I would dare anything.”

“If you don’t eat them,” said Lance, “I will drop them down the back ofyour dress.”

Pidge opened her mouth to retort,to call him on his bluff, but from the smirk that slowly curled his lips, sheknew she couldn’t. “Fine,” she grumbled, taking up the spoon-knife again andnudging red fruit preserves onto the spoon part. “You win.” Quieter, she added,“Asshole.”

“But you’re the one who likes me,”Lance shot back smugly, “so who’s the realasshole here?”

Pidge snorted. “That just makes mesomething of an idiot.” She spooned the preserves into her mouth with a sigh;they actually did taste good, the oneedible part of an otherwise unappealing dessert.

Lance made quick work of all thatshe left of her dessert, and Pidge, tired after a long evening of moresocializing than she was accustomed to, leaned into his side as the Yudenans’prime minister stood to make a speech about…something related to the VoltronCoalition (she might’ve dozed off for part of it).

Afterwards, when Pidge felt morealert and less confined, she told Lance, “I might’ve liked it more if it wasactually sweet. What kind of dessertisn’t sweet?”

Lance wrapped his arms around herwaist from behind, his face right next to hers and so close she couldpractically feel his smirk. “Maybethey thought you were plenty sweet enough without sugar, Pidge.”

Pidge fought a blush in vain asshe shoved his face away.