#kel ragged

[notfound-nin]

︶꒷꒦︶ ꒰✿ˊᗜˋ ꒱ ✩ ꒷꒦︶

[crushpunky]

kook!reader picks up rafe from a party

Droves of drunken teenagers and young adults filled the house and front lawn, cheering and dancing along to the blaring music as Reader pulled into Topper’s driveway. She had decidedly chosen not to attend Topper’s party that evening, she had been battling a headache all morning and, after attending the pregame with the boys, had instead opted to spend the night at home. That was until she got a call from Kelce telling her Rafe was going crazy looking for her and she needed to get here quickly before things got ugly.

Once she put the car in park, Reader quickly took her keys out before heading towards the wide open front door. Weaving through the crowds of people, she searched the crowd for any sign of the Kook boys.

“There you are!” Reader turned around to find Topper, his hair a mess and some girl hanging off of his arm. It wasn’t Sarah, but Reader wasn’t too surprised considering the two of thems constant fighting and on-and-off relationship.

“Where is he?” Reader asked.

“He’s in my room,” Topper said, “but he’s bad. He was… just be ready, a’ight?”

Reader nodded before going up the stairs towards Topper’s bedroom. As she neared the door she could feel her stomach churning. This was by no means the first time she had needed to pick one of the boys up from a party because they were too drunk to walk, but by how Topper made it sound, she was afraid of what would be behind that door. Would he be passed out? Would he be bleeding from some fight with a Pogue? Would he be dead?

“Did you call her? Is she coming?” She could hear Rafe’s voice pleading from inside Topper’s room.

“Yeah, she’s on her way, she’ll be here any moment you—” Kelce responded.

“Why isn’t she here right now? I can’t— I need her to—” Rafe was cut off when Reader finally opened the door. He was pacing along the floor in front of Topper’s bed, running his trembling hands along his shirt and through his hair. Kelce sat on the edge of the bed in front of him, his eyes filled with worry.

“Fucking finally,” Kelce said, letting out a deep breath. Rafe ran up to Reader quickly, causing her to jump back, running her eyes over the tall boy. His forehead was drenched with sweat, his pupils huge, and his breathing ragged and uneven as he stood in front of her, practically vibrating with energy.

“Thanks, Kels.” Reader said quietly as Kelce nodded before escaping out the door behind her. She closed it quietly before turning back towards Rafe.

“You’re here.” Rafe said breathlessly, cracking a small grin.

“What the fuck, Rafe.” Reader scoffed. Had he really had her drive all the way to Topper’s house just to stand in front of her and stare at her, high out of his fucking mind?

“I know, I know, I fucked up.” He said, taking another step towards her. She backed away, her stern gaze locked on him. She had known Rafe long enough to know that coddling him wasn’t an option when he was like this. She loved him, and he was her best friend, but he was an addict.

“Fucking obviously, Rafe. Jesus, what did you take?” Reader said, her arms crossed.

“I don’t know I was just—”

“You don’t know?” Reader couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“No, I do I just—” Rafe ran his fingers through his hair with a huff. “I took some coke, alright? I guess my tolerance was all fucked up after I hadn’t had it it in a while and I just took too much so I had some drinks and—”

“Rafe,” Reader groaned, closing her eyes tightly and running her hands down her face. He had been doing so well, nearly two weeks clean from coke and alcohol. In fact, they had just gone out for coffee yesterday to celebrate. He had called it cheesy, but she was proud of him. 

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Rafe pleaded, grabbing her hands away from her face. Reader pulled them back, not wanting to feel his shaky, clammy hands on her.

“What happened? What changed?” Reader said, her eyes welling up with tears at the sight of the boy.

“I— you— fuck!” Rafe shook, hitting the side of his head with his fists as he paced in front of her. Reader grabbed his wrists, attempting to pull them away from his head. The two grappled for a moment before Rafe finally gave in, dropping to his knees in front of her with a sob.

“I’m such a fucking idiot, I’m so, so stupid. I don’t deserve you.” He said, burying his face into the front of Reader’s shirt and wrapping his arms around her torso. Reader set her hands on the top of his head, soothing his hair as he cried.

“Rafe, you need to tell me what happened.” Reader said quietly but sternly, tilting his head back to look at her. His face was streaked with tears, his bottom lip trembling as he looked back at her. She had seen him like this before, rambling drunkenly or angrily high out of his mind. It wasn’t often, though, that he cried like this, sobs racking through his body and eyes bloodshot as he clung on to her.

“You.” Rafe whispered. “You weren’t here and I… I needed you here.”

Reader looked back at him in silence. Her best friend, the boy she was desperately in love with, on his knees telling her it was her fault he was like this. It was her fault he was feeling this pain. It was her fault he felt the need to drown out the agony he felt inside him by getting high.

“What?” Reader said. She almost felt like she was gonna vomit, various emotions racing through her mind. Was this her fault? No, how could it be? How dare he blame her for this?

“I just…” Rafe sighed. “I don’t know how to… be myself when you’re not here. It feels like I’m fucking drowning without you. I can’t do it. I just can’t keep acting like I’m not in l—”

Rafe cut himself off, burying his head back into Reader’s shirt. Reader felt tears sting at her eyes. He needed her, fucking needed her, to be himself. To be the Rafe she always knew he was, the one he could be… He couldn’t even see it in himself.

“Rafe.” Reader spoke softly, slowly lowering herself to come down to his eye level.

“I’m sorry, that was— I can’t just put that on you. I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking.” Rafe sniffled, wiping his nose on his t-shirt sleeve. He finally met her eyes, his arms still wrapped tightly around her waist.

“Why?” Reader said softly, pressing her hand to his cheek gently. “Why can’t you be yourself? Why don’t you see that in yourself?”

Rafe felt himself melt into her touch as her fingers grazed his skin. He wanted to tell her so much, wanted to dump everything out and tell her how he felt. That being without her was like torture. That having to act everyday like they were just friends, like he didn’t think about her every second, was killing him. Like he couldn’t even picture a future that she wasn’t included in. Like he wasn’t head over heels, ridiculously in love with her… but he knew it wasn’t fair. It wouldn’t be fair of him to do that to her. To pull her even deeper into his fucked up, violent, angry world, risking hurting himself or, god forbid, something happening to her. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to her because of him. 

“I… I don’t know.” Rafe said with an exhale, but Reader knew the answer. He had been groomed his whole life to put his self worth into others, never able to have confidence in himself. Always striving to please someone, do things for others, but never for himself. In his own twisted mind, he couldn’t get clean for himself, but he could get clean for her. He couldn’t rationalize doing something as “selfish” as making himself better for the sake of his health or wellbeing, but he would try for her. If that’s what she wanted, of course he would do it. But if she wasn’t going to be there, then what was the point? He might as well waste his life away.

“I just wish that you could see yourself like I see you.” Reader said softly, wiping one of the remaining tears from under his eyes.

“And how do you see me?” Rafe whispered, his eyes scanning her face slowly.

“I see you as that boy who loved playing soccer with his sisters in the backyard.” Reader smiled.

“I see you as that boy who told me about cooties, then proceeded to avoid me for a whole week in kindergarten. I see you as that boy who always made sure to give me one of his Oreos every single day in Ms Katten’s third grade class. I see you as that boy who… hugged me when I was crying at my brother's funeral. I see you as that boy who gave me the best night of my life at Midsummers. Rafe, I see you for the good, kind boy that you can be. That you are.” Reader said, her head swarming with memories of the two of them from childhood. They sat in the quiet for a moment, Rafe sitting in her words. Was that really how she saw him? As a nice person? A good person? Not as a psychotic, violent addict who ruined everything he touched?

“I didn’t realize that was how you thought of me.” Rafe said quietly, his voice barely a whisper.

“I think the world of you, Rafe.” Reader said, her hand pressing into his cheek gently. “I just wish you would think of yourself that way.”

Rafe nodded solemnly before pulling her into him, burying his head in her neck as he held her tightly. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close and resting her head next to his.

“I love you.” She said into his shirt. Of course she did, he was her best friend. He didn’t need to know that he invaded her every waking thought. That she couldn’t fathom her life without him. That she felt addicted to him, like she needed him to breathe… like she was totally in love with him.

“I love you too.” He said. He meant it, obviously, but he only wished she knew how much he loved her… or loved him the way he loved her.

[book--brackets]

The Mistborn Saga by Brandon Sanderson (2006-2022)

For a thousand years the ash fell and no flowers bloomed. For a thousand years the Skaa slaved in misery and lived in fear. For a thousand years the Lord Ruler, the "Sliver of Infinity," reigned with absolute power and ultimate terror, divinely invincible. Then, when hope was so long lost that not even its memory remained, a terribly scarred, heart-broken half-Skaa rediscovered it in the depths of the Lord Ruler's most hellish prison. Kelsier "snapped" and found in himself the powers of a Mistborn. A brilliant thief and natural leader, he turned his talents to the ultimate caper, with the Lord Ruler himself as the mark. Kelsier recruited the underworld's elite, the smartest and most trustworthy allomancers, each of whom shares one of his many powers, and all of whom relish a high-stakes challenge. Only then does he reveal his ultimate dream, not just the greatest heist in history, but the downfall of the divine despot. But even with the best criminal crew ever assembled, Kel's plan looks more like the ultimate long shot, until luck brings a ragged girl named Vin into his life. Like him, she's a half-Skaa orphan, but she's lived a much harsher life. Vin has learned to expect betrayal from everyone she meets, and gotten it. She will have to learn to trust, if Kel is to help her master powers of which she never dreamed.

This saga dares to ask a simple question: What if the hero of prophecy fails?

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman (2013)

A middle-aged man returns to his childhood home to attend a funeral. Although the house he lived in is long gone, he is drawn to the farm at the end of the road, where, when he was seven, he encountered a most remarkable girl, Lettie Hempstock, and her mother and grandmother. He hasn't thought of Lettie in decades, and yet as he sits by the pond (a pond that she'd claimed was an ocean) behind the ramshackle old farmhouse where she once lived, the unremembered past comes flooding back. And it is a past too strange, too frightening, too dangerous to have happened to anyone, let alone a small boy.

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire (1995-2011)

When Dorothy triumphed over the Wicked Witch of the West in L. Frank Baum’s classic tale, we heard only her side of the story. But what about her arch-nemesis, the mysterious Witch? Where did she come from? How did she become so wicked?

Gregory Maguire has created a fantasy world so rich and vivid that we will never look at Oz the same way again.

Wicked is about a land where animals talk and strive to be treated like first-class citizens, Munchkinlanders seek the comfort of middle-class stability, and the Tin Man becomes a victim of domestic violence. And then there is the little green-skinned girl named Elphaba, who will grow up to become the infamous Wicked Witch of the West—a smart, prickly, and misunderstood creature who challenges all our preconceived notions about the nature of good and evil.

The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice (1976-2018)

This is the story of Louis, as told in his own words, of his journey through mortal and immortal life. Louis recounts how he became a vampire at the hands of the radiant and sinister Lestat and how he became indoctrinated, unwillingly, into the vampire way of life. His story ebbs and flows through the streets of New Orleans, defining crucial moments such as his discovery of the exquisite lost young child Claudia, wanting not to hurt but to comfort her with the last breaths of humanity he has inside. Yet, he makes Claudia a vampire, trapping her womanly passion, will, and intelligence inside the body of a small child. Louis and Claudia form a seemingly unbreakable alliance and even "settle down" for a while in the opulent French Quarter. Louis remembers Claudia's struggle to understand herself and the hatred they both have for Lestat that sends them halfway across the world to seek others of their kind. Louis and Claudia are desperate to find somewhere they belong, to find others who understand, and someone who knows what and why they are.

Louis and Claudia travel Europe, eventually coming to Paris and the ragingly successful Theatre des Vampires--a theatre of vampires pretending to be mortals pretending to be vampires. Here they meet the magnetic and ethereal Armand, who brings them into a whole society of vampires. But Louis and Claudia find that finding others like themselves provides no easy answers and in fact presents dangers they scarcely imagined.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (1865-1876)

After a tumble down the rabbit hole, Alice finds herself far away from home in the absurd world of Wonderland. As mind-bending as it is delightful, Lewis Carroll’s 1865 novel is pure magic for young and old alike.

Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer (2001-2012)

Twelve-year-old Artemis Fowl is a millionaire, a genius—and, above all, a criminal mastermind. But even Artemis doesn't know what he's taken on when he kidnaps a fairy, Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon Unit. These aren't the fairies of bedtime stories—they're dangerous! Full of unexpected twists and turns, Artemis Fowl is a riveting, magical adventure.

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman (2008)

Bod is an unusual boy who inhabits an unusual place--he's the only living resident of a graveyard. Raised from infancy by the ghosts, werewolves, and other cemetery denizens, Bod has learned the antiquated customs of his guardians' time as well as their ghostly teachings--such as the ability to Fade so mere mortals cannot see him.

Can a boy raised by ghosts face the wonders and terrors of the worlds of both the living and the dead?

The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan (1990-2013)

The Wheel of Time turns and Ages come and go, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth returns again. In the Third Age, an Age of Prophecy, the World and Time themselves hang in the balance. What was, what will be, and what is, may yet fall under the Shadow.

When The Two Rivers is attacked by Trollocs—a savage tribe of half-men, half-beasts— five villagers flee that night into a world they barely imagined, with new dangers waiting in the shadows and in the light.

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman (1996)

Under the streets of London there's a place most people could never even dream of. A city of monsters and saints, murderers and angels, knights in armour and pale girls in black velvet. This is the city of the people who have fallen between the cracks.

Richard Mayhew, a young businessman, is going to find out more than enough about this other London. A single act of kindness catapults him out of his workday existence and into a world that is at once eerily familiar and utterly bizarre. And a strange destiny awaits him down here, beneath his native city: Neverwhere.

The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson (2010-present)

Roshar is a world of stone and storms. Uncanny tempests of incredible power sweep across the rocky terrain so frequently that they have shaped ecology and civilization alike. Animals hide in shells, trees pull in branches, and grass retracts into the soilless ground. Cities are built only where the topography offers shelter. 

It has been centuries since the fall of the ten consecrated orders known as the Knights Radiant, but their Shardblades and Shardplate remain: mystical swords and suits of armor that transform ordinary men into near-invincible warriors. Men trade kingdoms for Shardblades. Wars were fought for them, and won by them. 

One such war rages on a ruined landscape called the Shattered Plains. There, Kaladin, who traded his medical apprenticeship for a spear to protect his little brother, has been reduced to slavery. In a war that makes no sense, where ten armies fight separately against a single foe, he struggles to save his men and to fathom the leaders who consider them expendable. 

Brightlord Dalinar Kholin commands one of those other armies. Like his brother, the late king, he is fascinated by an ancient text called The Way of Kings. Troubled by over-powering visions of ancient times and the Knights Radiant, he has begun to doubt his own sanity. 

Across the ocean, an untried young woman named Shallan seeks to train under an eminent scholar and notorious heretic, Dalinar's niece, Jasnah. Though she genuinely loves learning, Shallan's motives are less than pure. As she plans a daring theft, her research for Jasnah hints at secrets of the Knights Radiant and the true cause of the war.

[coldmori]

*coldmori is off hiatus due to dommars deactivation from tumblr*

the freak,

heres some passing thoughts ive had of him:

(huge rant) (tw, cutting, hoarding, unreality, and very unhealthy and deranged behavior)

the knife sunny carries around is omori

but in a very odd way

sunny thinks he is omori but can also communicate with omori like another entity, the best way to discribe it is like sunny belives omori is his consious/soul telling him what to do, and is also therefore himself

and that his consious/soul has possessed the knife

this line of thought makes no sense because sunny fucking insane and this is all in his head

-

sunny cuts

when he is unable to sleep he takes it out on himself,

he also does this as an endurence test,

thinking if he can show no emotion during the cutting then that somehow validates him

also in phycosis he cuts to try and make life,

being that any part of omori can create beings, sunny makes very sloppy paper versions of his friends and tires to use his blood to get them to animate

this doesnt work

-

sunny also shaves with his knife

he uses his standard kitchen knife to cut off chunks of head hair when they get too long

and uses a very dulled (slightly rusty) razor along with water-diluted shaving cream (like how people mix water with soap to perserve it) to keep himself hairless

he sometimes gets so anyoyed he'll spend hours nonstop plucking every hair he can find off of his body

he hates the feeling of hair, he hates looking at hair, he hates hair

doesnt seem to mind rw kels hair tho

-

sunny hates taking baths of any sort so he will just soak a rag in water, sit in an empty tub, and wash with the rag, he uses diluted hand soap as shampoo, conditioner, and body wash

sometimes he'll fall asleep in the tub , and upon waking and realizing hes in the tub will start screaming and kicking and flailing in unimaginable distress, thinking hes submerged in water and actively drowning

-

sunny hoards, he hoards anything he can find

he keeps cat food containers and empty bottles, he keeps all the hair he cuts off and all the dandruff that falls from his skull

sunny has always been sort of a hoarder but it was only taken to the extreme within the timespan of his isolation

sunny hoarded beanie babies, and rocks, and cool pens before this, and occasionally would hold onto wrappers

taking any of this from him then would result in crying

taking anything from him now would result in stabbing, unless you take his knife, then he'll just colapse on the floor

-

sunnys phone died a long long time ago, the eletric bill hasnt been payed in a while so chargers dont work

his phone is also sevearly outdated , being he got it at around 10 and was suppoed to get a new one at 13

kel still sends messages to sunnys phone, sunny has looked through all of the ones he could before his phone died, and claws his hair out dying to know what the rest of the messages say

the last thing sunny did on his phone was take an "am i gay" buzzfeed quiz, he didnt get to finish it before the phone died, but he was picking VERY gay options

he only has his house phones which kel does sometimes leave voicemails on

sometimes in an act of rebelion against omori, sunny manages to break free from omoris manipulation and call kel on his home phone

these calls dont last long, and sunny has never spoken throught he phone, just sits and listens

sunny has ocasionally even attempted to call aubrey or hero and even tried mari, theyve never picked up, esspecially mari

-

sunny tries to mimic normal behavior, such as attending school,

he has no idea what highschool would teach him though, so he prestends to have a class in omorology , with a major in stabbing things

-

sunny hates the feeling of clothes, he used to be fine with it but hes grown to absolutely hate pants and shoes, even some shirts

sunny bites his nails eccesively, and his toenails, and bites the skin around them

sunny celebrates his birthdays mainly in headspace but if he so happens to be awake on them he'll make himself a cat-food cake and put pencils and pens in the top as candles

he's also rewarded with being alowed to *very risky* unlock the sliding glass door (not open it) and look outside

do not tell kel this information , he'll be clammering to that door faster than the speed of light

-

sometimes sunny has dreams that do not follow the headspace naritive, some about the real world

in one dream he was kel inside sunnys house, trying to look for sunny, who was outside

in another, sunnys house had a small coraline-esque door that lead all the way to kels home, but in the middle of the hallway connecting the two homes, was a room that had yellow cigarette stained walls, a bowl of fruit, and a small wall-mount tv on the ceiling playing blues clues,

to which then sunny promplty forgot he was going to kels, and just sat eating the fruit and watching blues clues

one had aubrey being the one knocking, and kel being stuck in some baseball court that was also like a food court at a mall, slowly drowning in ketchup, hero was also there but he was inside sunnys house and telling him not to worry about kel because "he has the newest iphone, which has teleportation"

and in another, the entire earth became sentient and was going to kill them all, and the only way to save everyone was to wake up, but when sunny realized this he became lucid,

and when he became lucid it just so happened that kel was suddenly there and cuddling him while they both died, also for some reason sunny was the president of the US

hes had multiple dreams about eating cactuses with the spikes where still on them, oddly, he really really wants to do this but has no idea why

sunny also had a dream that he was just a conecpt inside the mind of some 15 year old on a mystical app called "tumblr",

this dream was so weird he woke up screaming and then vomited and passed out again

[prodigal-explorer]

I disagree with the idea that basil is unforgivable because the entire point of Omori is forgiveness and grief.

To say that basil is irredeemable is to go against the theme of the game

homie...

hate to break it to you but actually the point of the game being forgiveness and grief doesn't mean that every character should be forgiven. everybody has different standards and morals and values when it comes to forgiveness. some people are able to forgive basil and others aren't, but the people who are able to forgive aren't inherently better or more "right" than the people who cannot. to say that the message of omori is "you should always forgive people no matter what they do to you" is brain-dead.

just because sunny and basil smiled at each other doesn't mean that all that damage was reversed, or that true forgiveness even happened.

the point of omori is not forgiving others.

it's forgiving YOURSELF.

that's why aubrey, kel, and hero's explicit reactions to the truth weren't shown in the game. because it's not supposed to be canon that they forgave sunny and basil. and the lesson is NOT that kel, aubrey, and hero SHOULD forgive sunny and basil.

it's easy for sunny and basil to forgive each other because they both royally fucked up each other and their friends.

what's not easy is kel, hero, and aubrey forgiving them because unlike sunny and basil, they had ZERO CHOICE in the matter when it came to the presentation of mari's death. they spent four years living a lie.

hero blamed himself, believing that he was a horrible boyfriend who caused mari's death by not being there for her and he was extremely depressed for years, which caused him to lose motivation for his number one favorite thing to do:

cook. as a result of hero's depression, kel was pushed aside and ignored by his parents, becoming something like a glass child to them, which led to him viewing himself as less important or worthy of love/attention than hero.

and don't even get me started on aubrey. the whole town turned against her, and nobody cared about her. not even her friends. the only person in the world who truly understood her was mari, and seeing her hung was the worst possible thing to happen to aubrey, a mentally ill little girl who already believed she was bad for everyone who cared about her.

if basil had JUST TOLD THE TRUTH. all of his friends' lives would have been infinitely better.

and i don't mean to like rag on basil without addressing sunny, but i never see sunny stans acting this idiotic and "holier-than-thou". now since you're so up in my business, i will explain myself more.

the biggest unforgiveable thing isn't even basil hanging mari. it's basil blatantly lying, and staying silent for four years, pretending to be innocent, painting himself as some victim, when really, the whole time, he was the reason why everything crumbled and destroyed itself.

it would be fucking stupid to walk out of playing that game saying, "well, aubrey, kel, and hero need to forgive basil for what he did because forgiveness is important."

that's easy for BASIL LOVERS to say because BASIL WAS NOT THE VICTIM IN THE SITUATION. HE WAS THE PERPETRATOR.

and furthermore, the game emphasizes self-forgiveness way more than forgiving others.

things only started to get better for basil and sunny when they started to forgive themselves. sunny's hallucinations were a manifestation of his shame and guilt. and shame and guilt are a result of being unable to forgive yourself. what the other characters did to support sunny was helpful, but it didn't solve the root of the problem. the only thing that really made something go away, the only thing that really brought color back to sunny's world was him letting go of that shame and guilt and allowing himself to keep going forward.

THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE GAME IS THIS: you cannot control how others react/respond to your bad actions. you cannot expect forgiveness out of anyone, and sometimes, you SHOULDNT. but the one thing you can control when you fuck up is how you pick yourself up and dust yourself off. how YOU move on from what you did so that you can grow and become a better person in the future.

and to me, that is a way more relevant, impactful, and TRUE message than the stupid, idiotic, honestly super problematic idea that "we should forgive and forget when people hurt us because they feel guilty". that's not being a good person. that's being spineless and devoid of values. just because i personally have experiences, traumas, and values that make me unable to truly forgive basil doesn't make me a bad person or someone who failed to understand the game's message. so before you come up in my ask box and attempt to shame me and accuse me of not understanding the game, brush up on it yourself, buddy.

[eloquentspeeches]

book recommendation tag game!

rules: recommend as many books as you like. please include genre and some basic information on it (either your words or a copy+paste synopsis). feel free to include cover art, a personal review, trigger warnings, and anything else! just don’t spoil the book!

tagged by @dekarios!!! thank you for the tag I'm usually too busy and or shy to randomly talk about things but here I am. I'm putting it all under a read more because million bajillion words

American Elsewhere by Robert Jackson Bennett

Some places are too good to be true. Under a pink moon, there is a perfect little town not found on any map. In that town, there are quiet streets lined with pretty houses, houses that conceal the strangest things. After a couple years of hard traveling, ex-cop Mona Bright inherits her long-dead mother's home in Wink, New Mexico. And the closer Mona gets to her mother's past, the more she understands that the people of Wink are very, very different ...

this is sincerely my favorite book ever. i bought it from a sci-fi only bookstore that i visited once and that closed down shortly after. it's got horror. it's got sci-fi. it's got eldritch sci-fi horror set in a small town. i re-read this book almost every year and i still find new details i missed.

Mistborn: The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson

For a thousand years the ash fell and no flowers bloomed. For a thousand years the Skaa slaved in misery and lived in fear. For a thousand years the Lord Ruler, the "Sliver of Infinity," reigned with absolute power and ultimate terror, divinely invincible. This saga dares to ask a simple question: What if the hero of prophecy fails? Mistborn: The Final Empire — Kelsier, a brilliant thief has turned his talents to the ultimate caper, with the Lord Ruler as the mark. Kel's plan is the ultimate long shot, until luck brings a ragged girl named Vin into the fold. But she will have to learn to trust if she is to master powers of which she never dreamed.

i can only recommend the first triology of this series - final empire, the well of ascension and the hero of ages - since i haven't read the other books from this world. definitely worth the read, this book changed my brain chemistry when i first read it in high school.

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison

The youngest, half-goblin son of the Emperor has lived his entire life in exile, distant from the Imperial Court and the deadly intrigue that suffuses it. But when his father and three half brothers in line for the throne are killed in an "accident," he has no choice but to take his place as the only surviving rightful heir. Entirely unschooled in the art of court politics, he has no friends, no advisors, and the sure knowledge that whoever assassinated his father and brothers could make an attempt on his life at any moment. Surrounded by sycophants eager to curry favor with the naïve new emperor, and overwhelmed by the burdens of his new life, he can trust nobody. Amid the swirl of plots to depose him, offers of arranged marriages, and the specter of the unknown conspirators who lurk in the shadows, he must quickly adjust to life as the Goblin Emperor. All the while, he is alone, and trying to find even a single friend . . . and hoping for the possibility of romance, yet also vigilant against the unseen enemies that threaten him, lest he lose his throne–or his life.

if you like complicated political court drama!!! then oh boy this is the book for you!!! my cousin made me read this book because complicated political court dramas are her specialty and she was not wrong. this is a banger.

gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir

The Emperor needs necromancers. The Ninth Necromancer needs a swordswoman. Gideon has a sword, some dirty magazines, and no more time for undead nonsense. Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap off the page, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse. She packs up her sword, her shoes, and her dirty magazines, and prepares to launch her daring escape. But her childhood nemesis won’t set her free without a service. Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Reverend Daughter of the Ninth House and bone witch extraordinaire, has been summoned into action. The Emperor has invited the heirs to each of his loyal Houses to a deadly trial of wits and skill. If Harrowhark succeeds she will be become an immortal, all-powerful servant of the Resurrection, but no necromancer can ascend without their cavalier. Without Gideon’s sword, Harrow will fail, and the Ninth House will die. Of course, some things are better left dead.

if you follow my blog at all then you know i'm like a hardcore fan of TLT. i love this book series. it's such a good read. this is one of three with a fourth on the way. please read it. pelase.

bullet train by kōtarō isaka

​Kimura’s young son is in a coma thanks to the Prince, and Kimura has tracked him onto a bullet train heading from Tokyo to Morioka to exact his revenge. But Kimura soon discovers that they are not the only dangerous passengers on board. Satoshi—the Prince—looks like an innocent schoolboy but is really a stylish and devious assassin. Risk fuels him, as does a good philosophical debate, such as questioning: Is killing really wrong? Nanao, nicknamed Ladybug, the self-proclaimed “unluckiest assassin in the world,” is put on the bullet train by his boss, a mysterious young woman called Maria, to steal a suitcase full of money and get off at the first stop. The lethal duo of Tangerine and Lemon are also traveling to Morioka, and the suitcase leads others to show their hands. Why are they all on the same train, and who will make it off alive?

okay i saved bullet train for last solely because. i didn't like. the book. as much as i really wanted to like the book. BUT i really do like isaka's writing and i think reading the book and watching the movie is the way to go to really appreciate what's going on in Bullet Train. that's my personal opinion.

[ofstarsandmoonlightt]

Okay guys i just saw a sword catcher theory (by someone on twitter/x i think idk) and it’s great (at least to me)

So its that Kel by the end becomes the rag picker king!!! Like that’d be so cool!! I don’t want anything to happen to Andreyen tho he’s good!!

Like that’d be so good after going through everything (at the palace esp with Conor) he decides to leave and becomes the rag picker king and being that he also has a connection with Conor (who maybe becomes king?) (king of the hill and the rag picker king connection) while also staying away for his own mental health lol

[hero-deserves-to-be-happy]

12 years after the good ending of OMORI, Hero reflects on the unexpected turns his life has taken. He wasn't the same person he used to be and knew he would never be that person again. After such a devastating loss, he had truly believed he could never be happy again, but things were different now...

OR Hero finds healing and loves again (the abridged version).

Past Hero/Mari and Current Hero/Zoey (OC) Slice of Life, Romance, and Hurt/Comfort.

Rated G. Spoilers for OMORI and some discussion of canonical character death, grief and mourning.

Word Count: 4,950. Full Text Below the Cut. Link to the Work on AO3.

A/N: Both of us creators are passionate Hero/Mari shippers, but we are also huge believers that Hero deserves to be happy and that Mari would want him to be happy. He might not ever be ready to move on and might not ever want a romantic relationship like that again, but if he did, this story is just a little glimpse into what we hope it would be like. It's a delicate situation, and we hope this little story has done justice to his grief and the kinds of struggles he would experience in moving on while also realizing it doesn't mean he has to forget.

This story includes specific references to the other stories in the "When Sun Shines Again" series (particularly "Am I Ready For Love Or Maybe Just A Best Friend?"), but this should stand alone and work as a sort of abridged version and epilogue to everything else so reading the other stories is unnecessary. The cover is Mod Sprinkles' art with the title graphics free to use from Canva. Thanks for reading! ☂️

“I missed this, you know…”

With a flick of the spatula, Hero flipped the egg he was currently frying, but he smiled—turning to Zoey with warm, affectionate eyes. “Yeah, me too. It’s been too long. Sorry…” He sighed wearily as he stirred the sauce for his chilaquiles. “We used to have brunch all the time…”

His voice trailed as he thought of the pediatric PM&R residency that had been running him ragged for the past five years leaving barely any time for anything else. Gone were the days of making brunch every Sunday for his friends like he had back in college. Most days he couldn’t even find the time to make himself a sandwich.

Zoey chuckled as she tucked a piece of short red hair behind her ear. “I meant I missed you, Hero—not brunch.” As she leaned over the counter, her light, teasing laugh wrinkled her freckled nose. “I would have been perfectly happy picking something up from that bagel place down the street and just sitting here doing nothing. You didn’t have to cook for me on your only morning off this week.”

“I know, but I wanted to,” he insisted with a gentle smile as he met her green eyes. “I feel like I never see you anymore.”

“It’s okay. You’re a medical resident,” she replied in that matter-of-fact way of hers. “I don’t expect to see you.”

Hero sighed heavily. He supposed she had a point. Residency was…a lot. Truthfully, he felt like he didn’t see anybody anymore. Something guiltily coiled in his stomach as he thought about his missed calls from Kel or Sally’s dance recital he had had to skip out on. He had rescheduled on his parents about half-a-dozen times when they had wanted him to go through some boxes of his stuff they had found in their garage, and he had missed Sunny’s daughter’s first birthday when he just couldn’t get out of work.

Despite his best efforts to be present for his loved ones, he had to develop a code system to classify emergencies. These days it was nearly impossible to get ahold of him unless someone texted him “Tea Time” indicating they needed immediate assistance that just couldn’t wait.

It was Zoey’s idea, but she had never used it.  

If Hero was being honest, that made him feel particularly guilty. He couldn’t stand the fact that he felt spread so thin he didn’t have much left over to give her. She didn’t seem to mind though—usually shrugged it off with insistences that she was busy with her own career too, her dream job: building bridges as a civil engineer. Perhaps that was part of what worked for them. She was so independent—never needed what he couldn’t give her, but that didn’t mean he wanted that for her. He couldn’t help but feel she deserved so much better, so much more than what he had to offer…and not just in terms of his time and attention.

“You have to work again this afternoon, right?” asked Zoey pulling him out of his thoughts. When he nodded, she added, “Just don’t wear yourself out, okay?”

“I’ll try my best.”

As he turned to crack another egg, he caught sight of Zoey’s hard hat on the counter. “Do you have to work today too?”

She shrugged. “Technically no, but I said I’d swing by the building site.”

“In this weather?” Hero’s brow furrowed as he glanced out the window watching the violent pattering of the rain against the glass. “It’s really coming down out there.”

“It’s fine. I have an umbrella.” She waved her hand dismissively motioning to the corner where she had placed the familiar red umbrella she had let him borrow the night they officially met twelve years ago. It was hard to believe it had been that long. “Besides you know I don’t mind the rain,” she added with a smile. “And this helmet’s water resistant.”

“Nice hat,” Hero gently teased—the slightest twitch of a smile curling in the corners of his mouth as she playfully nestled the thick plastic rim into her short red hair.

“You really do love this hard hat, don’t you? You want to try it on or something?”

Hero laughed but shook his head. “I’m not sure it would look nearly as good on me.”

Zoey’s lips curved into a teasing smile. “Oh but everything looks good on you, Mr. Prince,” she quipped, and Hero couldn’t stifle his laugh at her use of the rather cheeky nickname she had given him back in their undergrad. He was honestly surprised it had stuck around this long—though these days she only used it when she was playfully teasing him. “Even those bright green scrubs. I’m going to miss them when you’re not a resident anymore, you know?”

Hero chuckled but sighed as he adjusted his shirt under his apron—medical resident green as Aubrey probably would have said. He had honestly forgotten he was wearing scrubs right now as he had been planning to change into different ones right before he left for the hospital, but they had been the only thing clean in his closet. He really needed to do laundry though he didn’t mind scrubs and definitely hadn’t minded the color. Still he conceded, “I think the lab coat will be better. Just a few more weeks of these. It’s honestly kind of hard to believe it’s almost over.”

Zoey chuckled then dryly teased, “What are you going to do with all that extra time?”

Hero tilted his head. “I have a few ideas…”

“Is one of them getting a good night’s sleep? Because I think you should bump that up to the top of the list.”

“Yeah…” he chuckled before giving the sauce another stir and flipping his eggs. That wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. Instead he felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he thought about his Mamá Alma’s engagement ring he had recently picked up from his safety deposit box at the bank. When his grandmother had given it to him years ago, he had honestly thought he would never use it, but despite his protests that he could never love again and her beautiful jewelry would waste away in a vault forever, she had just patted his cheek calling him ‘concinerito’ just like she used to do when he was a little boy and said, ‘El corazón hace espacio’—‘the heart makes room.’

For a very long time he hadn’t really believed that or at least, hadn’t really understood it, but, as unbelievable as it was, things were different now.

Zoey had been his best friend for over a decade, and he had loved her for years without realizing it or, rather, without being ready to accept it. Even though everyone they knew would have insisted it was a long time coming by the time he had finally asked her out for a cup of coffee three years ago, it still didn’t seem real. When Mari had died, Hero had genuinely believed he never would and never even could feel that way about anyone ever again, and truthfully, he had been planning to never really move on. But…there was just something about Zoey. To this day, he still couldn’t even begin to describe or explain the way he felt about her—the way she made him feel things he didn’t know he could feel anymore. The way her smile healed something in him. The way he could look into her eyes and see a future, a life he had never imagined was possible for him anymore. The way she made him believe he could be happy again—made him believe he could love again.

There was no one else in the world like her. She was brilliant, driven, and really spunky—a little rough around the edges but so empathetic, so much softer than she wanted people to know and an amazing friend. Back in college when he never would have imagined he would eventually date her, they used to stay up until all hours of the night making sandwiches and drinking tea whenever their fraternity and sorority hosted parties and they’d just talk for hours about anything, everything. She was so passionate, especially about bridges and her dreams of wanting to build them someday. Hero could have listened to her talk about it forever even though he didn’t know the first thing about engineering. Perhaps even more than that, she was easy to talk to too—had this way of seeing through him. It was vulnerable but safe. He found himself telling her things that he could never tell anyone else—things about himself, his life, his family, and his past: mistakes, regrets, fears, even his grief.

He’d never forget the first time he told her about Mari. It was the first time that he had ever told anyone who hadn’t known her about it, and he didn’t know what to expect, didn’t know what she would say. In his wildest dreams, he would have never imagined she would cry for him, hold him, tell him that she wished he had gotten to have his “forever” with her. He was so moved just thinking about it, and to this day, he could barely believe that someone could care that much, could love him that much after everything. It was more than he felt he deserved. And she deserved everything—deserved so much more than he had to give her.

He would give her anything, everything that he had to give—would do anything to make her happy, but he couldn’t help but worry it wasn’t enough. Even though he loved her in a way he had never believed he could love someone again, the truth was his heart was a lot more broken and bruised than it used to be. He was a lot more broken and bruised than he used to be. He just wasn’t the same person that he was before, but he desperately wished he could be that person for her, the kind of person she deserved—someone whole.  

“Hey, you okay?” she asked with a slight tilt of her head and a kind smile. Hero nodded.  

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just feeling a little sentimental, I guess.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to miss all the insane hours and marathon shifts?” she teased, and Hero chuckled, somewhat grateful she didn’t quite know what he was getting sentimental about.

“No. I’m definitely looking forward to having a normal schedule for a change and consistent days off.” Or so he hoped anyway…but he didn’t add that part. Instead he turned off the stove’s burner and poured his salsa over the plates of tortillas, then topped with fried eggs before he handed one of the dishes to Zoey.

“This is delicious,” she said between forkfuls as he took a seat across from her at the table. “Though I expected nothing less from you.”

Hero’s mouth curved into a bright but almost bashful smile as he scratched the back of his neck. “I’m sure it’s not that great. I’m kind of out of practice…”

Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes at him somewhat affectionately. “I can’t imagine what ‘in practice’ would taste like,” she quipped before she took another bite with a satisfied hum. “Do you ever think you could’ve been a chef in another life?”

Hero chuckled lightly, but he shrugged as the slightest smile twitched in the corners of his mouth. “I wanted to be—back when I was a kid…” He paused, sighed. He knew she already knew that—already knew everything about him, but she didn’t seem to mind him repeating himself. He could feel her hand reach across the table to gently cover his until their fingers intertwined, until he looked up at her and met her bright green eyes—inquisitive but kind…and knowing as if she could see right through him and understood the bittersweet weight behind those words. As she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, he squeezed her hand and added, “But I don’t want that anymore...”

“Think you’d be even more stressed as a chef?”

“Probably.” His lips twitched before he took a bite of his chilaquiles. “And you’d see even less of me.”  

Hero couldn’t help but smile at the way she stifled a laugh as she caught his dry joke. Zoey tilted her head at him. “What do you want now?” she asked, as if she didn’t already know the answer.   

His cheeks grew warm as he thought of that ring again, but he dryly quipped, “A good night’s sleep.”

She laughed aloud this time—her smile reaching her green eyes until she bantered, “Well don’t set the bar too high. Gotta keep those wildest dreams in perspective, you know? Make them attainable.” Despite the dryness of her delivery, she couldn’t quite hold back her smile. As Hero laughed, her expression softened. “You really do deserve some rest, Mr. Prince. Just because you can function on three hours of sleep, doesn’t mean you should. It shouldn’t be a dream—it’s pretty fixable.”

“You’re starting to sound like Kel…”

Zoey shrugged. “I’ve always said Scotty’s got a lot on the ball,” she said using the nickname she had given Kel over a decade ago on account of his penchant for fixing things. “It’s good advice, and I’m not just saying that because he agrees with me.” The tines of her fork scraped against her plate as she finished the last bite. She stared at her empty plate with a thoughtful hum. “Maybe I should head out—give you some time to take a nap before you have to work this afternoon.”

“You don’t have to stay, but I don’t think I’m going to sleep if you go so…don’t leave because of that.”

Zoey smiled but sighed. “Wishful thinking on my part, I guess.

A loud crash of thunder clanged outside the window, and she frowned. “I had better get going though—head over to the site before the weather gets any worse.”

With a brisk nod, Hero rose from his seat to help Zoey clear her dishes. “I’ve got it,” he insisted, but she somewhat playfully wrestled her plate away from him with a pointed frown.

“You cooked. I can clean up.”

As she quirked an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms, Hero sighed. He knew this look. It meant there was no point in arguing with her—not that he was much of an arguer to begin with. Still, he gently insisted, “At least let me help. It’ll be faster with both of us.”

Zoey teasingly rolled her eyes, but she shrugged. “If you insist…”

Hero nodded, grabbing his used pans and utensils and joining her at the sink. It was a little like déjà vu to be honest given how often they had done dishes together back in college—though Hero would be the first to admit it was much faster and much easier with a consistently functioning dishwasher.

As if she could somehow read his mind, she quipped, “Well this is familiar…” as she rinsed off their plates in foamy, soapy water. Chuckling, he gently nudged her with his shoulder as reached for a sponge to start scrubbing the remnants of fried eggs off his pan, and she let out a breathy laugh. “Can’t say I missed dishes too much—though they were always more fun with you.”

“Pretty sure that was you actually…” His mouth twitched into a kind smile. “You always thought of great things for us to talk about to help us pass the time.”

He could feel Zoey shift beside him, and she sighed as she intently scrubbed at the stained rim of the saucepan. “You know, there actually was something I wanted to talk to you about today…”

Hero hummed glancing at her over his shoulder as he loaded the silverware into dishwasher. “Oh?”

“Yeah, I wanted to ask you something…But you have to promise me you’re going to be honest.”

“Of course,” chuckled Hero, but Zoey didn’t laugh.

“I mean it. Don’t just say it’s fine because you think that’s what I want to hear.” She paused, and Hero could feel his face flush. “I don’t want to cross a line.”

His brow furrowing, Hero stopped loading the dishes and turned to look at her—meeting her eyes. “Zoey…” His voice hitched, and he could feel his hands trembling even as he tried to calm his breathing. “Is everything okay?”

She nodded with a slight, reassuring smile. “Yeah. Everything’s okay. I just…” Her voice trailed. She wouldn’t look up from the saucepan she was cleaning. “Do you think I could visit Mari’s grave sometime…?”

Hero froze. Of all the things she could have said, he would have never expected that. She had visited there with him several times in the past, but it was always as support for him when he was going there anyway. She had never asked to make a special trip before. It surprised him, but it didn’t necessarily feel like a bad thing.  “Uh…yeah. Sure,” he stumbled running a hand through his hair. “I um…Gosh, I don’t know when I’m going to have another day off but when I finally finish up this residency and get a more consistent schedule I’m sure we can…”

“Hero,” she cut him off. “I meant, could I go alone? Would that be weird for you if I went to visit her sometime by myself?”

Something twisted in Hero’s chest. He didn’t know how to feel—didn’t really know what to say to that. It seemed so unexpected, but he didn’t think he had a problem with it. After all, Zoey knew a lot about Mari—not just from him but from Sunny and Kel too, even Aubrey and Basil. He supposed it could make sense that she might want to visit her…but the truth was, he really couldn’t understand why.

Unless…

He swallowed hard—biting down on his lip. He couldn’t even think it.

“Hero?” He felt her hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. “Just forget it okay? It was a silly idea. There were just some things that I wanted to say to her, that’s all, but if it’s weird for you, I don’t want to cross that line.”

“No. No, it’s okay. It’s not weird for me, if that’s what you want to do. It’s just…” His voice trailed. He didn’t have the words for what he wanted to say, the question he wanted to ask. In a way, he was almost scared of it—scared of the answer. The truth.

He had tried to avoid it all this time. While he had told her a lot about Mari, he had tried so hard to keep it focused on him and his grief—on how he felt when she died, how he had blamed himself, how it had wreaked havoc on his relationships with the people he had cared about most, how it nearly destroyed him and how he had never thought he could ever be happy again. But she popped up in his stories sometimes and he had told Zoey the most basic things about her that she was kind, smart, and talented, she played piano and was cheerful and warm, the kind of person you could always count on to be on your side or to brighten your day oftentimes just by smiling because when she smiled you would’ve sworn the sun shined brighter.

Zoey knew that he loved Mari, that a part of him would probably always love her. It didn’t seem to bother her at all, but it had been so hard for him to make peace with that in himself. Even now, there were times when he second-guessed himself, felt guilty that his heart was so broken and bruised—that he couldn’t give her everything that he felt she deserved. He desperately wrestled with the fear he wasn’t enough, with the feeling that it wasn’t fair to her that despite how much he loved her and would have done anything for her it would be impossible for him to ever say that she had been the one and only love of his life. He was terrified that she would feel slighted—that she’d compare herself to Mari and feel trapped in her shadow, feel like she was only a second choice or a last resort.

His heart ached when he thought about it—thought about how he could never be the kind of person that Zoey truly deserved: the person he had once been, in that other life before Mari’s death, but that person had died with her and no amount of healing could ever bring him back. There was so little he had to give anymore though he would give Zoey the world if he could. It was so hard to believe his painfully pieced together heart was worth much of anything—even though he loved her with every inch, every crack, every crevice, ever bruise and broken edge of it. He loved her more than he had ever imagined he would or even could love someone again. It wasn’t better or worse or more or less, just so different from the way he had loved Mari. He just wasn’t sure that was enough.

And now…he didn’t know if she was sure either. What else could she possibly want to say to Mari without him there than that she was just playing second fiddle, just taking her leftovers, just standing in as a last resort.

 “Zoey, I…” Hero’s eyes burned as the words got caught in the back of his throat, but he eventually choked out a rambling, probably incoherent, “You know I never wanted you to feel like you had to compare yourself to Mari. I…If I’ve ever done anything to make you feel like…like you—like you’re…like you’re only a—”

“Stop.” She cut him off firm but kind. Hero bit his lip, but he wouldn’t look at her. He couldn’t. “Look at me,” she said, but when he couldn’t bring himself to, her thumb traced gentle circles across his cheek. “Henry.”

He inhaled sharply, and something fluttered in his chest at the sound of his real name. She rarely ever used it—only when she wanted to remind him to stop being a “hero” and take care of himself or, he supposed, in times like these when she really wanted to get his attention. It had a weight and a gravity which was only intensified the minute he finally looked into her eyes and she said, “You have never made me feel like a second choice.”

He finally let go of the breath he was holding. In relief, his eyes fluttered closed, but he bit his lip. “I’m sorry…”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” she insisted. “You know how I feel. We’ve talked about this.”

They had. Multiple times. But that didn’t ever take away the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that “You shouldn’t have to…”

Swallowing hard, he took a shaky breath and turned away from her. His shoulders twitched as he stared down at his hands with a bittersweet smile. “I just…I want more for you.”

“More than the perfect man? I’d really like to see that…” she quipped dryly. “And I’m flattered, but I don’t think that’s possible, Mr. Prince.”

His mouth curved into a smile in spite of himself, but he could feel his face growing warm. “I’m far from perfect…” he sheepishly insisted, rubbing his hand across the nape of his neck. “And…” His smile faded. “I’m serious, Zoey.”

“So am I.” Her voice was matter-of-fact—honest, but an affectionate smile curved in the corners of her mouth. “There is no one else like you. You know I still field calls from my old sorority sisters asking how I managed to bag prince charming.”

As Zoey teasingly rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, an awkward, disbelieving chuckle escaped Hero’s mouth. He buried his blushing face in his hands as Zoey continued, “Of course, I never dignify that with a response, but…” She shrugged. “If I did, the answer is really, ‘I have no idea.’”

Hero laughed in spite of himself, feeling very guilty for it, but Zoey didn’t seem to mind—just chuckled lightly herself and smiled at him until her expression and her voice softened. “Jokes aside though I…I honestly didn’t think it was ever going to happen. Not that it couldn’t—just that…I didn’t think you were ever going to be ready.”

He nodded. The truth was he hadn’t either.

“No one would’ve blamed you if you weren’t. I definitely wouldn’t have…Moving on—being ready for that…that’s all you. That’s your choice.” She paused and met his eyes. “And you chose that—you chose me. And that means more to me than the idea of us being cosmically destined soulmates or the one and only love of your life. I don’t need that. I don’t even want it, and I don’t want someone who can give that to me. I only…want to be with you.” Shaking her head, she laughed at herself muttering, “That’s so corny…”  

Hero reached out his hand to her—pushing that one wild strand of hair out her face and pressing his palm to her cheek. “Mi vida…”

As she glanced up at him, he could only hope that the look in his eyes conveyed the deeper meaning of those words—conveyed everything he wanted to say every time he called her that. He didn’t use it often—didn’t really use terms of endearment much anymore. It felt wrong to call her the same things he had called Mari. He never called her ‘honey’ or ‘sweetheart’ or his most precious name for Mari, ‘Mi corazón’: ‘my heart.’ But Zoey and only Zoey was ‘Mi vida’—‘My life.’ She liked it well enough—thought it was a pun because of her name. Zoey. Life. His life. A life he never dreamed he’d be able to have.

“I love you,” he said, and her bright green eyes smiled at him.

“I know you do. And you don’t have to try to prove it to me by pretending Mari never existed.” She broke away from his gaze and glanced over his shoulder at the cluster of old photographs of him and his friends hanging on his living room wall—memories of that other life and who he had used to be back when Mari was alive. It had been Zoey’s idea to hang them up, and she said now exactly what she had said then, “Moving on doesn’t mean having to forget, Hero.”

His heart ached at those words, and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. He wasn’t sure how long he held her until she sighed, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t mean to upset you. I won’t go.”

“No, I think you should,” Hero insisted. “I mean…if that’s something you want or need to do.”

“It is. But not for the reasons you think…” She sighed. “Not because I’m comparing myself to her or anything like that. I guess I just…I wanted to reassure her that I’d take care of you. That’s all.” She pulled away from him with a soft, affectionate, smile. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s…really good.” His eyes grew misty, and his voice hitched. “Thank you.”

Her smile brightened, and it reached her eyes. He knew that she understood those words meant infinitely more than what he had said.

“Hero…” she began. “You know I love you, right?”

He nodded, but he couldn’t hold back the smile that tugged at his lips. “Yeah.”

“Can I ask you one more thing?” she asked with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

“Anything.”

She tilted her head, pursing her lips together. “And you promise you won’t take it the wrong way?”

He swallowed hard—his hands beginning to shake again, but he managed, “I promise.”

Zoey took a deep breath—long and heavy. She stared at the picture of Hero and his friends in Faraway Park back before Mari had passed away—back before they were jaded, broken, before they had to learn how to be happy again. “Do you think she’d be happy for us?”

Hero’s chest ached, but a bittersweet smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He thought about the last time he had visited Mari. He had gone alone—stopped there after he had picked up his grandma’s engagement ring from the bank. He had wanted to know the same thing. It felt strange to look for that reassurance—to look for some kind of sign when he knew Mari couldn’t really answer him. But Mari had found a way. When he had told her about his plans—asked if she would be okay with that, there was strong gust of wind. It blew a twig off a nearby tree that hit him in the head. He had laughed. As if Mari was trying to tell him what a silly question that was—especially when he already knew the answer.

He hugged Zoey again—glancing off over her shoulder out the window where the sun was peeking through the clouds even despite the rain. As a certain warmth spread through his chest, he blinked the mist out of his eyes and whispered, “I know she would be.”

[catwithyellowwings]

Kelly Lord x OFC (Angela Higgins)

Please be gentle. English is not my native language. I'm still learning it, so there's probably a bunch of mistakes 🙈

Synth-pop sounds came from an old tape recorder. Humming familiar lines to herself, Angela dusted the bookshelves in her own small apartment near of London. Only recently, having moved out of her native nest, the girl was still trying to establish her own way of life. The strict father insisted that a woman must be able only to clean and cook. It was to this that he taught his daughter, whom he provided with her own home when she barely turned twenty. Her mother had not allowed him to do this before, but she died a few months ago. Since then, the relationship between daughter and father has become even cooler than before. Angela didn't take offense at her parent. The man always wanted to have a son, but fate decreed that his only child was a girl. Suddenly, in the middle of the chorus of another song, a loud doorbell rang. Turning off the music, Higgins threw a rag into a bucket and went to meet the guest.

"Angie, open up; it's me," was heard on the other side, and the girl quickly recognized a familiar voice. It was the middle of Albert Lord's sons. Once upon a time, her dad ran some kind of business with him. That's when the girl met three such different boys. While Lenny looked more like his father's right-hand man and Gene, due to his age, hung around with their mother Mint Ma more often, Kelly tried to somehow attract the attention of his parents to himself. But they almost always had no time for him.

"We haven't seen each other for a long time." Opening the door and letting the guest inside, Angela began a dialogue. "How are it doing in the family business?"

"As usual, complicated," shifting from one foot to the other, Kelly replied and ran his hand through hair. This made his dark blond curls even more disheveled. "Do you mind if I stay with you for a while?"

"Did you have a fight with your father again?" Realizing the most obvious of possible options, the girl asked. She received an indistinct nod and a nervous twitch of Lord's shoulder. "So be it; come in. You know, these doors are always open for you".

"You're the best, Angie." Perhaps for the first time in a few days, the guy threw a sincere smile and immediately went to the kitchen.

Taking the bottle of whiskey, he splashed a little into a couple of glasses and, before putting the bottle back in place, sipped a little from the bottle. After putting the glasses on the table, Kelly sat down on the chair closest to the window and, resting his elbows on the table-top, buried his head in his palms. Thoughts and emotions were raging inside him now; his active brain was diligently coming up with plans for subsequent actions, but nothing worthwhile came to him.

"Kel, tell me what's bothering you," Higgins gently insisted, placing her hands on his shoulders. At that moment, she felt her friend's muscles twitch for a second and immediately relax. "Don't accumulate negativity in yourself".

"No matter how hard I try to prove to my father that I am a worthy son of our family, it's never enough for him," Kelly muttered almost without changing his position. "He is not satisfied with my ideas, although he does not openly tell me this. I don't pretend to anything special, Angie," the guy abruptly raised his head to meet his friend's gaze. "After my father, Len will be the head of Lords, but I…"

"You want to be useful," Angie conjectured. "So that your family treats you as an equal".

"Of course, I'm not a genius like Gene, but I'm also useful to business. Everything I do, I do for my family. Why don't they notice it?"

"No matter how smart your parents are, Mint Ma and Albert are sometimes completely blind to some things," Angela sighed, continuing to unconsciously stretch Kelly's shoulders. "I believe you. Have you tried talking to them? Well, or at least with Mint Ma? I know she loves the three of you".

"My father told me not to talk bullshit and sent me to another case with Len," Lord finally answered, straightening up completely. "Mom just pointed me to the door with her head right after that. I didn't have time to answer them; they immediately switched to another conversation".

After this short confession, the guy drained his glass in one gulp, and Angie sat down in the chair next to him.

"Someday they'll understand what a good son and helper you are for the family," Higgins said, twirling the second glass in her hands. "And Lords are not used to hiding and being on the sidelines. Your family has always been and will always be at the center of events. I'm sure you'll be able to declare yourself, and your parents will understand what a treasure they've had in front of their noses all this time".

To hear such words for Kelly was painful but pleasant. Gradually, his nervous system calmed down, and anxiety also decreased, giving way to the typical behavior of the average Lord: flirting. He smiled at his friend again, but now without a shadow of sadness, to which he received a warm smile in response. For several years, it has been Angela who warms the guy on the coldest English nights. Therefore, it was to her that Kelly instinctively reached out, gently but confidently he placing his palm on Angie's cheek. Seeing how the friend's behavior was returning to normal, the girl leaned slightly on the touch, closing her eyes for a couple of moments. Just those seconds were enough for Lord to close the distance between them and press his lips against hers. Reflexively opening her eyes from such an action, Higgins began to answer, closing her eyes from pleasure. At first, the kiss was slow and seemingly innocent, but gradually the temperature in the room began to rise. Under the influence of the moment, they got up from chairs, wanting to snuggle up to their partner's body as soon as possible. Kelly's hands immediately grabbed Angela, helping her to sit on the table and at the same time almost spilling whiskey from the second glass. Taking advantage of a small hitch to restore breathing, the girl also drained the drink in one gulp, feeling how it inflames her even more. Removing the glass closer to the wall, Higgins this time reached out first for a kiss, which was met with the same fire.

"I need you," Lord confessed in a whisper, briefly tearing himself away from the desired lips. His hands were already habitually studying the body opposite, confidently climbing under a knit sweater. Under the soft fabric was almost as soft velvety skin, which was covered with goosebumps from his touching.

"I'm here, Kel, with you." She gently guided his head to her neck, where the guy left a few wet kisses, and then moved on to the barely exposed collarbones.

Further conversations were unnecessary. Pulling off her sweater, Angela, without looking, threw it on the windowsill and began to unbutton the buttons on Kelly's shirt. He had been paying attention to the exposed parts of her body all this time, forcing her to arch slightly with pleasure. Hands, lips, and tongues were used, and at some point even teeth. They both wanted the same thing and wanted to take full advantage of every minute. This wasn’t the first time when a couple of friends clearly crossed the friendly line, allowing themselves a little more than they should. However, they were completely satisfied with it. The bed (and sometimes another surface) did not become an obstacle to the continuation of the friendship between the middle Lord and Higgins. Perhaps it was this that brought them closer together even more. Now they could relieve stress with a friend, not only with words but also with deeds. Everyone had their advantages.

"You're so beautiful," gradually descending with kisses lower and lower, Kelly admired her from the bottom up. "So kind, helpful, smart…"

"Less talking, more fucking, Lord" The girl demanded impatiently. By that time, there were no thoughts in Kelly's head about the recent quarrel with his parents; everything was focused only on Angie, who looked very tempting now. "Let's leave all this for later. We have more important things to do".

"Not here," Kelly said and grinned contentedly. Quickly getting to his feet, he picked up Angie, allowing her to wrap her legs around his torso and arms around his neck. Such an action caused a giggle from Higgins, which was interrupted by a demanding kiss that forced her to moan, involuntarily snuggling closer. Almost without looking, when he reached the bedroom, Kelly laid Angela on the mattress and stopped for a few seconds to admire the picture that opened up in front of him.

"For today you are mine," Lord declared, looking at the desired girl with a misty gaze, "and you will like it".

[htchnr]

♰ one of these nights ༻ KELVIN INMAN.*ೃ˚

✮ꜜ masterlist. ✮ꜜ buy me a ko-fi!

content warning bitter thoughts of regret from Kelvin about joining Dharma ⋆ smut ⋆ grinding ⋆ dry humping ⋆ Kelvin cums in his underwear ⋆ if i missed anything, lmk!

summary lonely ol' Kelvin gets some lovin', or does he? lyrics from 'One of These Nights' by the Eagles. wordcount 0,7k.

authors note posting this anyways with some hope that fellow Lost lovers will find this :,) and if y'all do, my requests are open for Kelvin + Sawyer + Jack!

© 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐇𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐍𝐑. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫!

—ONE OF THESE DREAMS, ONE OF THESE LOST AND LONELY DREAMS, NOW.

the smooth vocals of the Eagles flow through the room as Kelvin reads a book, thighs spread comfortably as he lays lazily on the couch.

he huffs a laugh at the dumb actions of the character on the page, amused at their stupidity— he would have done differently, were he in a similar situation.

he's always painfully bitter about it, joining Dharma; always wishing he'd gone a different path in life. maybe quit the army and settled down somewhere far away, maybe up in the mountains or in the woods. now the thought of woods and mountains haunt him, scenery he's forced to see everyday.

—IN BETWEEN THE DARK AND THE LIGHT, OOH, COMING RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

" what'cha thinking about? " your sweet, syrupy voice pulls him from his bitter thoughts.

" nothin'. " he grunts, huffing as he returns his eyes and attention to the pages before him. the book is held up enough for him to not quite see you.

you dizzying laugh swirls through the air along with the music. " c'mon, Kel. " you tut, pulling the book to the side as you appear in his view. " put the book away, i miss you. " you pout, lowering yourself into his lap.

Kelvin grunts as you settle yourself against him, those stupid and thin Dharma jumpsuits doing nothing but wonders as you roll your hips against his. " there he is, " you sigh with a smile, trailing kisses down his silver bearded cheek and down his throat.

—THE FULL MOON IS CALLING, THE FEVER IS HIGH AND THE WICKED WIND WHISPERS AND MOANS.

" oh, keep that up, baby. " his deep, gravily voice eggs you on, his large hands aiding your hips. " fuck. "

whimpers and low moans spill from your lips, barely audible over the music as you work your hips against his. " y'feel so good, Kel. " you pant against his cheek, your hot breath fanning against his cheek and ear. " so- good. "

he groans as you pick up the speed of your hips, his own hips grinding up into each roll of yours. the room feels hot, the thin jumpsuit suddenly hot and stuffy with you grinding against him. these things are curse, he can't stop himself from thinking as his face scrunches up with pleasure.

" just like that, oh- " you moan, dropping your head against his shoulder. " want you to cum like this- please, Kelvin. " you plead against his clothed shoulder, hips rolling feverishly against his.

Kelvin groans, a ragged and breathy sound as you pick up your speed. " shit, sweetheart- whatever y'want- " he grits out, eyes clenched as he chases his release.

—YOU GOT YOUR OWN DEMONS AND YOU GOT DESIRES. WELL, I GOT A FEW OF MY OWN.

it doesn't take long for him to reach the end, his hips stuttering with each roll of yours. the jumpsuit caused enough friction, soft enough to not be rough— though your slick drenches the crotch of his suit anyways, adding to the smooth movements.

" m'close, oh m'so close- " he grunts, burying his face in your hair as his hips jolt up against yours.

" c'mon, Kel, please- c'mon-! "

" oh fuck- that's it, baby- "

with one last feverish roll of your hips Kelvin cums, shooting rope after rope into his boxers; slowly soaking into his slick-soaked jumpsuit. long groans leave him, his fingers digging into your hips as his hips slowly still.

" fuckin' hell, honey. " he pants, dropping his head against the back of the couch, eyes closed. you grin, leaning down to place a long, sweet kiss against his lips. your fingers scratch through his silver beard, coarse hair resisting against your digits.

" mm, Kel, " you breathe out as you shift in his lap.

" what, baby? " he huffs, still breathing heavy, eyes closed as his head rests.

you lean in, lips brushing his ear. you whisper, breath tickling his ear.

" wake up, Kelvin. "

his brows furrow, thinking for a second before his eyes shoot open, as sits up straight. the blaring alarm of the minute and a half countdown overpowering the sound of the skipping record player on the shelf.

he shakes his head in an attempt to snap out of whatever daze he's in, shooting up onto his feet in a matter of seconds as he races towards the computer room. 'one minute and three seconds' counting down on the clock above the doorway.

he pants as he hastily punches in the numbers, hitting 'execute' in record time. the alarm cuts out, the numbers of the clock flitting back to a hundred and eight minutes once again.

he lets out a deep breath as he braces himself against the desk, chest heaving. he glances down, groaning at the large, wet stain on the crotch of his jumpsuit. " son of a bitch. " he swears, kicking the desk, before stomping off to the laundry room.

he should've have just quit the army, not join this bullshit Initiative. then he could've been home with you, buried deep inside you rather than cumming in his jumpsuit like a teenager having wet dreams, while in this godforsaken hell hole of a bunker.

[fox1656]

Here's part 3 of my Omori story dedicated to @jaywish143. Just one more part, and this story will be concluded. This is a bit later than my usual posting time. Don't have nightmares kiddos 😉

A Wilting Flower

Basil rode back home from the hospital, sitting in the back of Hero's mom's car in a daze. Why had he pulled away from Sunny? He was so scared, but he knew that Sunny still needed him.

Basil shivered, and Kel put an arm around him.

When Basil looked at Kel, he could see Kel's eyes rimmed in red, but he was smiling.

"Hey, it's okay buddy. It's going to be okay." Kel tried to sound hopeful, but wasn't very convincing.

"I-I know. It's just... Sunny. How is sunny?" Basil could barely get the words out without choking. He was still scared that Sunny might come after him. At the same time, he knew that Sunny hadn't meant to hurt Mari.

Hero turned around in the front passenger seat, his eyes also red rimmed and puffy. He reached back and patted Basil's knee. Basil flinched, but Hero pretended not to notice. "Don't worry about Sunny, Basil. We'll take good care of him when he gets home."

Basil smiled weakly and Hero turned back around.

The rest of the car ride was pretty uneventful, and Basil went straight to his room as soon as he got home. It was already staring to get late, so Basil told his grandmother goodnight, and changed into his pajamas.

Basil lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He kept replaying the incident over and over in his head. Tears started leaking from his eyes and he eventually drifted off to sleep.

Basil was standing at the front door of Sunny's house, watching everything happen all over again. Everything was the same, except this time, Mari didn't stop falling. For some reason, the stairs were so much taller, seeming to go on forever. Mari fell down the stairs like a rag doll, coming to rest at Basil's feet. Only one of her eyes staring up at him, wide and glossy. The other eye was obscured by her hair. Suddenly, her mouth opened, and she said, "why didn't you stop him Basil? Why? Why? Why? WHY? WHY?!WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!"

Basil woke, a scream escaping him. He looked around, the sun slowly filtering through his window. His hair was plastered to his head, and his lap felt oddly warm.As he lifted the sheets, he realized he had wet the bed.

Basil pulled his legs to his chest and he sat there and cried for several minutes before he got up and changed his clothes and pulled his sheets out of his bed. How would he tell his grandmother about this?

Basil took the wet clothes and sheets to the laundry room, and told his grandmother. She was very understanding and sympathetic.

A few days later, when Mari was heading home, Aubrey came to Basil's house.

"Basil! Basil! Mari is coming home!" Aubrey said as she knocked vigorously on Basil's door.

Basil opened the door slightly and peered out, shyly. "Oh, hey, Aubrey. Today is the day, huh?"

"Yeah, come on. We're all going to see her when she gets home." Aubrey was bouncing on the balls of her feet, her hands behind her back. "Oh, and I brought you this." She pulled out a pretty flower crown from behind her back. "I made one for each of us."

Basil looked at the flower crown and felt a pang of guilt. They had all learned how to make flower crowns with Mari.

"W-what about Sunny?" Basil looked at Aubrey, feeling apprehensive, but hopeful at the same time.

Aubrey's smile faltered. "Oh... He... He still hasn't left his room. His mom told me that he's been eating, but that he doesn't come out unless he uses the bathroom."

A wave of relief flooded Basil, followed by a bigger wave of guilt. Why did he feel relieved that his best friend was shut up in his room? Why was he so scared of Sunny? He knew that what had happened was an accident.

Aubrey noticed the shift in Basil, and her brow crinkled in concern. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing..." Basil looked nervously at Aubrey, but he quickly looked away.

"Hey, what is it? You can tell me." Aubrey put a hand on Basil's shoulder and he tensed and almost jerked away.

Sweat beaded on Basil's brow. "I-I'm j-just scared...of...Sunny..."

Aubrey looked shocked and taken aback. She pulled her hand back, and then she said, "Basil, he's you're friend. Why would you be scared of him?"

Basil hesitated, and then he whispered, "I... I was there. I saw it happen. I don't want..."

Aubrey blanched. "Oh Basil, he would... Sunny would never do that to you."

Basil sobbed and then said, "I know. He wouldn't have done that to Mari either. He was just... Just angry."

Aubrey wrapped her arms around Basil and let him cry. Once he was done, she pulled back and smiled at Basil. "Come on, we should go see Mari. She won't remember you, but she should be happy to see you."

"W-what if she...remembers everything when she sees me?" Basil's face went pale, and Aubrey took his hand.

"We can take care of that if it happens." She smiled at Basil, and then she put the flower crown on Basil's head. She took his hand, and led him to Sunny's house.

As Basil and Aubrey entered Sunny's living room, Kel was sitting on the couch, watching TV with a blank stare. His expression lit up when he saw Basil. "Hey, Basil! You're finally here. HERO! HERO! BASIL'S HERE!" Kel raced into the hall and up the stairs.

"So much for our surprise..." Aubrey pouted, but then she turned to Basil and smiled. "Come on, Basil. Let's go see her." As Aubrey pulled Basil along, she donned her own flower crown that she had pulled from her bag.

Mari's room smelled of vanilla and clean linen. She always kept it so very clean, and even more when she was just sitting in bed, it looked pristine. Hero sat at the foot of Mari's bed, as he talked to her, as she gave him a confused, slightly bewildered look. Her eyes lit up when she saw Basil, and he couldn't help but flinch a little.

"Oh, you are adorable! What is your name?" Mari beamed at Basil.

"This is Basil," Hero said, gently. "The one I was telling you about?"

Mari's eyes looked a little sad. "Oh, Basil," she said. "I'm so sorry. Hero told me that you were the one to find me."

It took Basil a minute to find his voice. "O-oh, yeah. I walked in right as you..." Basil looked down and squeezed his eyes shut.

Hero walked over and patted Basil on the head. "It's okay Basil."

Basil looked up and nodded. He spent over an hour with Mari. She started remembering small things. Things she liked, things she looked forward to. She remembered more and more as days went on.

As days went on, Mari remembered almost everything. Basil's dreams also became more and more extreme. They changed from Mari talking to him, to Sunny following him. But...was it really Sunny? He was so much more pale. His eyes were distant and lifeless, and they glowed red. He even wore clothes that Basil had never seen Sunny ever wear. He wore a black tank top, white shorts with black stripes, and tall black socks.

Basil ran through a house that just went on and on. The not-Sunny kept following, no matter how fast Basil ran, he was only a few steps behind.

Basil awoke again, bathed in sweat, but thankfully this time he hadn't wet the bed again.

Basil went to see Mari after this last dream, and when he saw Sunny's door, he shuddered uncontrollably.

He walked into Mari's room to see her crying, and Hero sitting beside her, looking pale. Kel brushed past Basil and ran down the stairs.

"What's going on," Basil asked, shocked.

Hero looked over and said, "she remembers. She remembers, and..."

Mari looked up, tears streaming down her face. "I had a dream. Sunny was chasing me as I tried to climb the stairs, but...it wasn't quite Sunny. He wanted to throw me down the stairs. To 'end it all', as he said."

Basil felt the blood drain from his face as he turned to the door. He had to face Sunny, or not-Sunny, whatever it was that was beyond that door. He fled from Mari's room, headed across the hall, and opened Sunny's door, unceremoniously. There sat Sunny, sitting on his bed, looking...normal.

Well, that was... Intense. Pardon me while I go cry.

[pariahofpelicantown]

The Price of Rejection (Leah x Farmer)

Tw: Blood, character death.

Sunlight filtered gently through the dense canopy, creating a warm, inviting glow on a secluded patch of earth. In this tranquil spot, Leah and the farmer leaned against a sturdy tree, enjoying the simple pleasure of each other's presence.

Leah sighed contentedly and glanced at the farmer, her eyes filled with warmth. "This place is amazing," she whispered, her voice soft and intimate. "It's so calm... just us and the wilderness." She rested her head on the farmer's shoulder, her long, wavy hair cascading over their chest.

The farmer encircled Leah's waist with an arm, drawing her closer until their bodies were pressed together, warmth radiating between them. Their breaths harmonized, falling into a shared rhythm.

Tenderly, the farmer turned to place a soft kiss on Leah's forehead, savoring the way she leaned into the gesture. The scent of wildflowers and pine intermingled with the sweet aroma of Leah's shampoo, creating a fragrant cocoon around them. "I'm so glad we're here," the farmer whispered. "I love these peaceful moments alone with you."

As the farmer's words hung in the air, Leah adjusted her position, turning to face them fully. Her hand gently cupped the farmer's cheek, her fingertips tenderly tracing the curve of their jaw.

Their lips met in a gentle, exploratory kiss, delicate as the flutter of a butterfly's wings. Leah's lips, soft and pliant like rose petals, parted naturally as the kiss grew more passionate. The world around them seemed to disappear, leaving only the sensation of their lips intertwining and the mingling of their breaths.

The kiss deepened, each moment intensifying their connection. Leah's hand traveled from the farmer's jaw to the nape of their neck, her fingers threading through their hair. The farmer's arms tightened around her, their bodies merging closer.

A soft, yearning whimper escaped Leah's lips, a sound filled with desire. In response, the farmer drew her impossibly nearer, their hand slipping under the edge of her shirt to rest against the warmth of her bare waist.

The farmer felt the warmth emanating from Leah's skin, electric tingles sparking through their fingertips. As their hand skimmed across her back, tracing the curve of her spine, Leah shivered beneath their touch.

Their lips parted only to reunite in a flurry of short, fervent kisses. The farmer exhaled a ragged breath, their heart hammering in their chest. They felt utterly consumed by Leah—her taste, her touch, the soft, intoxicating sounds she made.

The intimate bubble around the farmer and Leah shattered abruptly as the sound of approaching footsteps pierced the tranquil silence of the forest.

Leah tensed, her breath halting in her throat. The farmer, momentarily puzzled, followed her gaze to spot a figure emerging from the underbrush. As the figure drew nearer, recognition dawned.

The farmer's arm instinctively tightened around Leah, a protective gesture against the unwelcome intrusion. Leah's ex wore a scowl, their expression dark and menacing.

"Kel," Leah hissed, her eyes narrowed in a fierce glare.

Kel's voice cut through the air, rough and accusatory. "What the hell are you doing out here, Leah?" Their eyes flickered between Leah and the farmer, searching for an explanation.

"And with them?You think you can actually be happy with this... yokel? That you belong here in the boonies?" Their words were laced with contempt. "I miss you, Leah. You need to come back with me to the city."

Leah's eyes blazed with a mixture of anger and defiance. "Kel, you don't get to dictate my life anymore," she snapped. "I'm here because I want to be. With someone who cares about me, not someone who tries to control me." The farmer's grip on Leah tightened, offering silent support.

Kel's anger erupted, their voice rising. "You're wasting your time here, Leah! You belong with me, not in this backwoods hellhole. I can give you a much better life than this."

They took a menacing step forward, their body language threatening. "You're mine, Leah, and I'm not gonna let you go that easily. You're coming back with me, and you're gonna forget about this farmer and all of this bullshit."

Leah stood her ground, her eyes fierce and unyielding. "No, Kel. I'm not yours. I never was. You can't just barge in and dictate how my life should be."

The farmer stepped forward, their presence a silent but powerful shield between Leah and Kel. "She said no," they stated firmly, their voice unwavering. "It's time for you to leave."

The atmosphere crackled with intensity as Kel, driven by fury, charged toward Leah.

The farmer reacted in an instant, positioning themselves protectively in front of Leah. The struggle that ensued was a whirlwind of motion, both of them locked in a fierce, desperate clash.

Then, in a single, horrifying moment, everything shifted. Kel's hand darted to their pocket, producing a knife that gleamed ominously in the dim light. With ruthless precision, they drove the blade into the farmer's side, the force of the blow sending them sprawling to the ground.

Leah's scream pierced the air as she fell to her knees beside the farmer, her hands shaking as she tried to stanch the flow of blood. "No!”

Kel stood over them for a moment, the knife still slick with blood, their face contorted with rage and something even more malevolent. But then, as the reality of their actions set in, panic overtook them. Dropping the knife, they turned and fled into the forest, the sound of their retreating footsteps fading into the forest.

Leah was oblivious to Kel's departure, her entire focus on the farmer's pain-filled eyes and strained breaths. "Stay with me," she pleaded. "Just hold on, please."

As the farmer lay there, the color draining far too quickly from their face, they managed to reach into their pocket and retrieve something small and metallic. It was a mermaid pendant, its charm glimmering faintly in the dim forest light.

Leah gasped as realization struck her, her eyes widening with disbelief and surprise. She reached out to take the pendant from the farmer's trembling hand, her fingers closing around it with a mixture of grief and shock.

The farmer's chest hitched slightly, each gasp for air more labored than the last. Blood pooled beneath their body, staining the surrounding leaves and soil. They stared up at the sky for a moment, their eyes losing focus as they gazed at the clouds.

Then, with one final, shuddering breath, their body went limp, the life ebbing out of them like the receding tide.

Tears cascaded down Leah's cheeks as she tenderly cradled the farmer's head in her lap. Leaning in close, she whispered softly in their ear, her voice quivering with a mixture of sorrow and affection.

"I accept.”

[coldmori]

BIG LONG RANT ABOUT THE SOMETHINGS

ik no one asked but here's some something trivia and junk:

hell's look is based off of the forced fusions of Steven Universe

they are also based off of tumors (though im too scared to actually look up what a tumor looks like, so my knowledge is all what I've heard)

specifically tumors that grow eyes, teeth, and finger nails.

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everyone can shape-shift but how they shape-shift is different between them

hell can only make arms and hands, they can't make torsos, eyes, feet, etc. hell can also adjust what's on a hand, like knuckle hair or fingernails. So if hell wanted, they could have lushes long hair on their knuckles.

something (angler fish) only makes shapes using hair, they're made out of hair and hair is moveable and flexable so they can make the silhouette of anything they want, but it'll always just be hair

tall lady can adjust her legs, how tall they are, how many she has, etc. the rest of her body can shape-shift too but it's hard to shape-shift with a blanket tied around you.

blindness technically can shape-shift, but works more in allusion, they can create mirages of places hero wants to be, and people hero wants to see

tom is odd. tom can shape-shift in the standard way, any form that they want, but never does. they can even change color, but just doesnt.

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mari actually becomes these forms and can feel everything

around hero she's almost infinitely big but has no density or any sort of tie to form, it feels like being in space but she IS space.

around basil she can feel every hand and move them independently, it hurts a lot because to grow more hands the skin must tear and reform, and sometimes hands grow without knowledge or when mari is aggravated, sometimes in an act of defense basil will try to chop off the hands with gardening shears but it just ends up growing more hands, it's extremely painful.

kel's form is her most stable and comfortable, it seems the more guilt someone has the more painful the form, mari could speak with him directly if given enough energy, which is something that can't be said for most.

sunnys form is odd to be in, she is every hair and fiber, like a school of fish forming a shape, it hurts less than it used to but it's still hard to deal with it. it would feel really weird to feel your hair.

aubrey's form is claustrophobic, like being submerged in a thick wax, her legs are the only things free and they break often due to being brittle and skinny, mewo's ghost has no part in being Tall Lady, but yet she can still feel her. this is one of the only forms where mari can "sing" the singing is more of a low buzzing hum, you can recognize the song if you know it but it's but it sounds more like white noise than a song.

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tall lady is based off of rag dolls, a type of doll made of just rags

this is just because i like to think aubrey was really into dollies and plushies, and maybe unknowingly made one of these since her mother wouldnt buy them.

-------------------------

tom is, obviously, made from a fishing hook, but i also considered a tripple meaning,

a fish hook, an umbrella, and an anchor.

if you flip the design upside down you kinda-sorta get an anchor shape, i wanted to expand more on it in the design but it felt too.. crowded??

it felt as though you'd either only be able to see the hook or the anchor and not be able to look at the big picture and see both, plus the umbrella, so the anchor thing was never built upon.

-------------------------

sunny's something is obviously an angler fish but i added a reference to the base-game death, the light, i made it look like a little noose just as an easter egg, the eye also has a light in it, unlike the others

i dont know what i was thinking when i thought of the eye-shine, something about "oh maybe its a pearl" but pearls dont come from angler fish..

-------------------------

blindness is really cool

blindness not only stops you from seeing, it also prevents you from hearing...

and then it gives you hallucinations.

hero is known to walk out of campus following these hallucinations, but mari isn't trying to lead him anywhere, she's just going from place to place looking and caring after her loved ones. Hero sees her (well, he sees crazy shit happening) and follows her out trying to understand whats happening

mari tries to not be seen by hero so he can study but her influence is too strong.

hero is brilliant, but mari's checkups are harming his grades and mindset.

theres also auditory hallucinations.

blindness is based off of a thing i used to do as a kid in the dark, when i would look at the pitch black while trying to sleep and focused i could see all these colorful things moving and surrounding me, i could make out individual things and most looked like inchworms and just puffballs, like eye-floaters but there where hundreds and they all where different colors, it was wild.

-------------------------

somethings can also happen from fear.

"fake somethings" are fears that manifest to look like ghosts, they happen when someone is about to die

(this is how i explain hypothermia, the little guy who was spreading onto kel in hypothermia 1)

they are basically guiders to the after-life if you die, mari has one too

kel didnt see his after he went into severe hypothermia because it was still stuck to his physical body.

-------------------------

mewo has a ghost too, but her appearance is the same for everyone, everyone just saw her as a phat floofy cat

except for aubrey

-------------------------

kim, the maverick, angel, charlene and vance also have different somethings for mari, but they just dont see her ever.

ok ive ranted enough its time to stop, sorry for all this text ik it's probably hard to read

[pineappleciders]

hi! im not sure if you did this request already but could you do RW mari, aubrey, hero, and kel walking in on the reader doing SH? idk it will make me very happy since they are my comfort characters and i deal with that stuff and all, but its okay if not! dont sweat it!

CONTENT WARNING: self-harm, blood, suicide blades that kind of thing

A/N: hi anon, i've done similar requests with different characters that you can check out in my masterlist if you'd like!! this is also assuming the SH is cutting, i apologize if it's something else! im also sorry if kel or heros part seems rushed or short i was tired

RW MARI, AUBREY, HERO, and KEL walking in on reader s/hing

MARI

"I'm sorry, may I be excused?"

You were having dinner with MARI and her family. They considered you a close family friend, so often times you'd be spending time with MARI and SUNNY at their home.

Something was said at the dinner table that night.

Getting up and pushing your chair in, you rush up the stairs and close the bathroom door behind you.

Sitting on the toilet, you dig around your bag to find the blade you more often than not carried with you. Not like you planned to do this all the time, but it was helpful to have one on hand.

You hiss and exhale as you cut, and you use the rag in your backpack to slow the bleeding. After all, you wouldn't want to stain their towels or waste any paper.

You hear somewhat loud talking downstairs, and you can make out MARI's voice. She seemed upset, but nobody was yelling. You tear up as you realize she was probably upset with her father for the comment he made. You knew she cared too much. You know she sees right through you.

The talking stops, and footsteps come up the stairs and stop at the bathroom.

"Y/N, can I come in?"

In any other situation, this probably would've been strange for her to ask to come into the bathroom with you. But she knows you better than anyone. You cover up and put your things away.

"Yeah, come in.."

MARI creaks open the door, slides it, and locks it shut. She turns to you, and you stand up. "Y/N, are you alright?" She places her hands on your shoulders.

You blink to hold back your tears. "Yeah.. I'm okay." She sighs and hugs you.

"I'm.. I'm really sorry. He didn't mean to say that, he doesn't think before he speaks sometimes.." MARI wanted to be angry at her dad, but she knew it wasn't worth it.

Pushing your face into her shoulder, you sigh. "MARI, can.. can you help me?" Your eyes dart down to your arm. You didn't want to, but it was bleeding and you needed to stop it.

"Oh, dear.." She takes a cloth from the rack and asks you to roll up your sleeve, to which you comply. She presses it onto the wound gently and holds it.

"Here, hold this. Let me grab some sterile strips," she says, worry in her voice. As she rummages through the cabinet, you can't help but let a few tears fall. This is incredibly embarrassing.

You wanted to go home.

The bleeding stopped, and she bandaged your arm and put disinfectant gel on the wounds. After rolling your sleeve back down, she looked at you deeply in the eye.

"Y/N, I know I can't fix everything, but please talk to me next time instead of doing this. I really don't like seeing you sad."

You could tell MARI wanted to cry, but she kept herself strong for your sake. You've always felt you didn't deserve your friends, but right now you especially felt MARI was too good for you. She didn't deserve to witness this.

She hugged you tightly. "I love you a lot, Y/N. I don't want you to hurt yourself. I'll always be here for you, okay?"

You teared up more and nodded, squeezing her back. "Yeah.. thank you. I love you too."

AUBREY

You quickly open the door to the park bathroom, using the intersex/family one as it was often less crowded than the other ones.

Opening one of the blue stalls, you lock it and sit down on the toilet. Public restrooms were always gross, but you didn't really pay any mind to it. At least, not right now. As you reach into your sock, you examine the drawings and writings on the stall wall. Silly things, doodles, words in a language you didn't know, so on and so forth.

Refocused, you take the razor out of your sock. Today was a day you knew something would happen. Something would go wrong. Something always does. As you make the first swipe, the door opens and someone walks in, with light footsteps. You put your feet up on the toilet and hope they don't try your stall.

You don't hear anything in particular after that. You assume they left, or maybe they're distracted in the mirror. You let your feet down.

Thirty seconds later, you hear a voice you very clearly recognize.

"AUBREY! Come check this out!" The voice of KIM, one of AUBREY's hooligan friends, shouts out. At the sound of AUBREY's name, you freeze up. Did she notice you?

A few seconds pass, and you hear talking outside the bathroom door. It opens, and you don't think you could get sweatier.

"Look at this drawing!" KIM snickered, and AUBREY scoffed. You almost sigh in relief that they haven't seen you yet. You assume that the drawing they're looking at is something inappropriate. Classic KIM.

"Heh. Check out this one, it's really good." AUBREY seemed to point out another drawing, earning an 'oooo' from KIM.

"Well, I'm gonna piss. You can wait for me outside with ANGEL." AUBREY walks away, right into the stall besides you. You hear KIM leave the bathroom.

You thought you were nervous before. This is a whole new level.

What do you do? Do you continue? Do you leave? No, AUBREY's friends will most definitely see you. Do you say something? No way! You don't want to talk right now. You decide to wait it out.

Your shoes are still on the floor from your freeze-up earlier, and you consider putting them up, but AUBREY will sense your movement. Stay still, and she won't see you.

"Y/N?"

Fuck! She saw you!

"AUBREY? Hey.." You try your best to keep your voice composed, but you can't keep it up for long.

"Were you here the entire time?" She asks, and you chuckle. "Yeah.. didn't wanna interrupt."

A moment of silence passes.

"You okay?" She questions.

"Hm? Yeah, I'm chill." You play with the blade in your lap.

Another moment of silence.

"Okay, do you wanna come hang out with me and everyone else? We were gonna head to GINO's."

"Oh, no, I'm good. I have stuff to do, so.."

Yet another moment of silence. It breaks when you hear AUBREY flush, and open her stall door, her feet stopping at yours.

"Can I, uh... can I come in?"

You panic. "Uh, I'm, uhh.. shitting.."

"Your pants aren't down." You've been busted.

Letting out a sigh of defeat, you oblige and unlock the door for her. She steps in, her eyes somewhat averted in the case that you actually were pooping or something.

She looks at you, and you forget you're holding a blade, with a cut seeping blood on your arm. "Holy shit! Are you okay?!" AUBREY freaks out a little, getting closer to you.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Uh.." You fail to find an excuse as AUBREY connects the dots and takes hold of your wrist.

Her eyebrows furrow, and for a second you think she might yell at you. But, she doesn't.

"Fuck, okay, I have a band-aid on me- It won't do much but it's all I got, uh, here let's put some toilet paper on that," AUBREY stumbles to form sentences as she rips off a wad of paper and gently presses it to your wound, still having hold on your wrist with the other hand.

You awkwardly look to the side. "Y/N, I-.. You can talk to me, y'know that, right? We're-we're best friends, I've always.." She sighs, giving up on trying to say anything.

You notice that she seems frustrated, and you nearly break down. Why did you always make people take care of you? Can't you fend for yourself?

AUBREY seems to realize she's making you feel bad, so she regains her composure and leans down to hug you, keeping one hand pressing the paper onto your arm. "I'm sorry. I.. I understand. I don't.. understand everything but.. I understand the urge."

Your eyes burn and you can't help but lean in, taking a whiff of her. She smells surprisingly good. Not in a bad way or anything, but, usually delinquents don't smell like conditioner.

She sighs yet again and leans back up, removing the toilet paper and making sure the cut has stopped bleeding, before applying the band-aid vertically, as if it were a steri strip. She takes a moment to form her words before speaking, a habit MARI had taught her as to not fumble while talking.

"Listen. I know it's been so hard.. But, please, this isn't the right thing to do. It seems like it now, but, it'll only make it worse. Can.. can you tell me next time? If- If you need help, or something.. just call me. I'll be here ASAP." She places her hand on your shoulder while talking, a look of worry on her face.

You blink away any tears that formed, and nod. You want to thank her, but nothing comes out. But, she seems to understand. She seems to know what you want to say.

"Do you.. need some time? That, uh... GINO's offer still stands." She puts her hands in her pockets and looks away sheepishly. A light smile adorns your face, and you chuckle. "Hah, yeah, I'll come. Thank you."

You weren't necessarily saying thank you in response, but you think she knows that. She smiles and takes your hand. "Let's go."

HERO

A patterned knock at your bedroom door sounded throughout the room, filling you with panic.

"Hey, Y/N? Can I come in? I made some pancakes." HERO's voice rang and the door creaked open, as he peeked his head in.

HERO and KEL had decided to spend the night at your place, and they slept in your living room, as your room was far too small to house two people. Unbeknownst to them, you had unintentionally stayed up all night.

You weren't sure why, but you had a total breakdown. Maybe due to seeing your friends again, maybe something else. You're not sure, but it happened. And it just so happens that HERO walked into your room as you were taking care of it.

He stops when he sees you bleeding with a boxcutter in your hand. After hesitating, he quickly sets the breakfast tray down and runs to get presumably medical supplies. He comes back quickly, with a towel and a first-aid kit.

He rushes over to you, and you're still in a state of shock. How do you explain this to him? What if KEL walks in? What if your parents come home? What if he tells-

Your thoughts are interrupted by HERO placing the warm, wet washcloth to your wounds. He had taken the blade away while you were distracted. You're kind of pissed that he asked to come in but came in anyway, despite you not answering. Maybe he thought you were asleep.

The look on his face is sweaty and panicky.

"Hey, u-uh.." He tries to say something, but instead he removes the towel to see the bleeding has stopped, and immediately puts ointment on the wounds and bandages them with gauze.

Nothing can describe how HERO feels right now. This, this was his chance. His chance to help for once.

He.. he had been too late with MARI. But now that he knows you're hurting, maybe, just maybe, he can do better this time.

He sets down the kit and awkwardly sits next to you on the bed. He wants to hug you, but he isn't sure that he should. His eyes keep darting to your wrapped arm.

You avert your gaze, and for a moment an awkward silence fills the air.

When he was patching you up, he had been so hasty, so quickened and anxious. You can only assume why.

He wanted to save you. He wanted to help. You yourself had always blamed yourself for MARI's suicide, but you could only imagine how HERO felt.

"Listen, Y/N.." HERO tries to speak again, but tears prick his eyes. At this point, you feel like you should be comforting him. He takes a few deep breaths and gathers his thoughts.

"Y/N, I.. I know things have been rough these past few years. And, I'm sorry I left for college. I know you and the others have been going through a lot, and.. and I feel like I messed up. It was my responsibility to be there for you all." HERO is playing with his fingers and looking at his lap.

You feel awful. He was always one to blame himself when things went awry.

He sighs. "But.. I'm here now. I care for you and the others a lot.. So please know I'm here for you. Even.. even when I have to go back to school, you can phone me anytime. Or, you could talk to KEL, or-or.. maybe SUNNY. He's a great listener.. They-.. They care for you a lot. Even if they don't show it. We all do."

You feel yourself about to cry. You didn't want to subject anyone to anything that they didn't have to see. They didn't deserve you.

You can't help but reminisce of all the times HERO has been there for you. It wasn't often, but whenever you needed an ear, HERO was there. And you were there for him. He was almost like a big brother.

You wipe your eyes, and he finally pulls you into a hug, patting your head and rubbing it.

"I'm here, OK? We all are."

You cry into his shirt and grip it, and he holds you tight. It had been so long since you've had a HERO hug.

Eventually you pull away and he smiles at you. "You still want pancakes? I can re-heat the food if you'd like." He suggests, eyeing your plate. He was planning to bring you breakfast in bed.

You smile as well. "I'd like that."

KEL

You sit in your chair in your room, a razor blade in hand. You were really going to do this again, weren't you? You couldn't help it. Not under stress.

With each swipe, you hold a towel to ease the bleeding, then continue. You weren't sure how your parents hadn't noticed the blood stains all over your laundry. Maybe they did, but haven't brought it up yet.

Hearing a few voices downstairs, you grow uneasy, and your nervousness grows as you hear footsteps come up the stairs. If that was your father, you wouldn't hear the end of it. Your door was locked, though.

Or at least, you think it is.

A couple loud knocks at your door make you jump, and a sing-songy voice rings your ears.

"Oh, Y/N!! Guess what I have!!!" Your heart drops at the voice of your friend KEL. Oh dear.. now was not the time.

You don't respond. Maybe your best bet was to tell him to leave or say 'not right now', but your brain told you to freeze, and that's what you did.

"Y/N? Are you in there?" He says, his voice growing a but quieter. He tests the door, and you're fucked. A bright looking KEL stands in your doorway.

"There you are! Guess what I...." His voice trails off, and his grip on one of the older CAPT. SPACEBOY comics loosens in his grip. You turn to him and try to cover up.

"KEL? Hey, man.. Uh..." You try to say to come back another time, but he's already seen it.

His face grows with worry. "Are you okay?" He sounds genuinely concerned, and it tugs at your heart strings. You don't know what to say.

He very slowly walks into your room, setting the comic book on your dresser and approaching you in your chair, looking down at you.

His height is almost intimidating from this angle. Almost.

"Do.. do you need help?" KEL was a little unsure how to go about this situation. On one hand, he wanted to help you mentally, to talk it out and get you help. On the other, he wanted to run away. To leave you to your own. But he won't do that.

No, you need help.

You want to cry.

He skips away a bit, and starts running to your bathroom to grab stuff. "I'll be right back!" He shouts.

Returning with a couple Hello Kitty themed band-aids, and anti bacterial ointment, he kneels down.

"Can.. Can I touch you?"

You have to congratulate KEL for maturing. Although it might not seem like it from the outside, KEL's changed a lot. He's more aware of personal space now, you note.

You nod and try to avert your eyes as he applies the ointment and puts the band-aids over your wounds to close them up. He lingers on one knee after he's done, and starts chewing his cheek. You can see the gears turning in his head.

"I, um.. do you wanna talk about it?" KEL really wanted to know how you felt. He wanted to help, he wanted to know what was making you hurt yourself. But he just couldn't ask.

Your bottle bursts and you start to cry. He immediately wraps his arms around you once you fall into his chest, ranting and sobbing.

You really didn't care if he didn't get a word you said. You were so grateful to have someone like him in your life, and you couldn't express it enough.

He lets you talk, and doesn't say a word. Small, simple pats and rubs of your back and knowing he hears you is enough comfort. KEL never liked it when people cried.

You sit up and wipe your face, noticing the snot and tears on KEL's shirt. Oops..

"Hey.. I.. I know we're all struggling. These past few years have been rough, and I know.. I know you have your own problems. So anytime you want to, you can talk to me. Or just hang out. Or, I don't know, we can do.. whatever. But, um, when you wanna do this again, let me know, OK?" He takes a breath.

"I, uh.. I know I don't say it often, but I really care about you. A lot. So, please talk to me." He ends his sentence with a soft smile, and you can see his eyes full of hurt.

You tear up again and hug him. "Yeah, yeah. Okay. Thank you, KEL."

He gives a genuine smile, and you swear he lights up a room with his face. "Of course. Now, about that comic!"

[104th-plo-koon]

──꒰ SCREWBALL ꒱    🔧   ・・・・        

This data seems all wrong. This seriously and sincerely cannot be the truth. She may not know jedi on personal levels, but the few she’s had the pleasure of meeting have all be kinda enough to explain to her about their ships and their going ons. In this case however no one had even mentioned or spoke to her about the misshapen ship. Instead her instructions were simply to fix it, and the information and data she’d been given seemed far too incorrect and incomplete.

Many ships she’s had to work on, unfortunately, no longer exist as a whole but in pieces. However, the republic LAAT/i gunship was in such disrepair that she was barley sure she could even fix it. But by the painting on the side she could tell it meant a lot to the battalion that used it. Sighing after being unable to find the clone captain, or commander, or really any clone belonging to the battalion for that matter. She’d found herself searching for their general instead. Though she can’t say her anxiety hadn’t spiked a bit, it isn’t because of anything bad and is more social anxiety than anything. The last general she’d met was General Krell, and that hadn’t gone very well.

She clears her throat as she walks up to the master jedi, his robes far more clean and pristine than her ragged oil stained clothes. Torn and ripped toward the bottom and probably makes her smell like motor oil.

❛     Um, General Plo Koon ? ⠀❜ She asks the taller kel dor.

Plo had settled down to meditate while he went through a series of breathing exercises. He exhaled softly, slowly as he ended his meditation.

He turned to the mechanic and bowed his head in greeting. "How can I be of service?" He asked, standing from his seat.

[hockeylvr59]

Here With Me Part 20 || Taylor Makar

Author’s Note: Only a day after saying I love you, Taylor drops another milestone on Kelsey....meeting the parents and Taylor's sophomore season comes to an end. FC: Marina Laswick (@marooshk on instagram).

Warnings: cursing, anxiety // Word Count: 6,295

~~~~

Nineteen

Kelsey had been a little surprised when Taylor had asked her to meet up Monday evening. She honestly hadn’t expected to see him again after Sunday before the opening round playoff game for hockey east unless he came to class in the morning. 

But if he was going to make the time for her, she would gladly make it for him. So, after finishing up a bit of lab work, Kelsey drove over to Mullins to meet him as requested. 

As soon as she pulled into the lot, Taylor was coming outside and sliding into her passenger seat, immediately greeting her with a kiss. 

“Hey Kels.” He murmured. “You look pretty.” 

“Thanks T. Had a meeting with my advisor this morning.” After all, she normally didn’t wear a dress, tights, and boots to class. “So what’s the plan?” 

“Dinner at Johnny’s Tavern. We’re meeting my parents.” 

As soon as Taylor said the word parents, Kelsey immediately froze, her face going white with shock. 

“Come again?” She gasped, thankful the car was still in park because her hands felt numb. 

“Dinner with my parents.” Taylor stated softly. “You knew they were coming to town and want to meet you.” 

“Yeah…soon…not tonight…” Kelsey mumbled. “Holy shit Taylor I am not dressed to meet your parents.” Quickly Kelsey’s breathing grew more ragged as the anxiety over what Taylor was dropping on her hit. Meeting the parents was something you needed to prepare for and Kelsey was so far from prepared. 

“Kels. You look beautiful.” Taylor assured her, a little taken aback by her reaction. His palm slid over onto her thigh and he spoke softly. “Kels, they’re gonna love you, you have nothing to worry about. They just want to get to know you because they know I’m completely infatuated with you.” 

His words did nothing to stop her shaking and after a minute Taylor got out of the car before moving around to her side, urging her out of the driver’s seat. 

“I’m not going to force you to go Kels.” He whispered into her hair as he hugged her. “But it’s not the big deal that you’re working it up to be either. They’re going to love you because I love you. They’ve been so damn excited to meet you.” 

Pulling back, Taylor grinned down at her, mischief on his face. 

“To be honest, I’m the one that should be worried. Because odds are they’re going to love you more than they love me or they’re going to bring up every single embarrassing moment in my life to share it with you.” 

Kelsey couldn’t help but let out a long soft breath at that. 

“Just trust me Kels. Please?” 

“I trust you.” She murmured. “Just not sure I can drive right now.” 

“If you’ll let me, I can.” Taylor offered, kissing her temple still trying to soothe her. Swallowing hard, Kelsey nodded and after a moment stepped away to let him adjust the driver’s seat while she moved around to the passenger’s still trying to calm her racing heart. 

“Breathe Kels.” Taylor insisted, lifting her hand to his mouth to kiss as he was stopped at a red light. “How’d your meeting go?” 

Kelsey knew he was trying to change the topic so that she stopped focusing on the stress of the moment. 

“Fine. Everything is on track. She doesn’t think I’ll have any problem getting into med school.” 

“That’s awesome Kels. I have no doubt you will either.” Taylor stated softly. “You’re so fucking smart and so passionate, any school is gonna be lucky to have you.” 

It wasn’t long before Taylor was pulling into the parking lot of the Tavern and coming around to help her out. 

“Just trust me Kels.” He repeated. “I love you and they’re going to love you too.” 

Taylor let her take a few deep breaths after gathering her purse from the car and then took her hand to guide her inside. 

“Come on, it’s cold out here.” 

Once inside, Taylor led her to a table, his hand on her lower back. By the time they approached, his parents had both stood up and while his dad hugged Taylor, Kelsey found herself pulled into a hug by his mom. 

“We’re so happy to finally meet you.” His mom whispered in her ear. “You’re even prettier than the pictures we’ve seen.” 

Switching off, Kelsey briefly was hugged by Taylor’s dad as well before Taylor guided her into the seat across the table from his mom, taking the one next to her and resting his hand on her thigh.

“Kels, this is my mom Laura and my dad Gary. Mom, dad this is Kelsey.” Taylor’s hand squeezed softly in reassurance. 

“We’re so glad you agreed to meet us.” Laura proclaimed, her smile warm. Kelsey’s face must have given away her hesitancies because Laura looked at her for a moment before looking over at Taylor. 

“Taylor David…you didn’t tell her she was meeting us?” 

“I did…” Taylor defended. “Just not until she picked me up.” 

“Taylor.” Laura chastised. “I’m so sorry Kelsey. I tried to teach him manners but apparently some things he takes after his father in.” 

Thankfully, the waiter interrupted as he dropped by to get Taylor and Kelsey’s drink orders now that they had arrived.  

Though Taylor ordered ice tea for himself he ordered Kelsey a glass of wine and a water knowing that she could use a little help taking the edge off her nerves. 

After getting carded, Kelsey bit her lip softly feeling the nerves rise. 

“So Taylor mentioned that you coach girl’s hockey? His dad asked. 

“Yeah. I started a learn to play program when I was a senior in high school and right now we have probably thirty girls enrolled. Age range of four to eight or so. It’s a lot of fun. We meet once a week to practice skills and scrimmage and a couple of times a season we go to a ‘tournament’ with other learn to play programs and they get their first taste of actual games.” Kelsey explained, pausing to thank the waiter as he brought drinks over. 

“It’s basically a first taste of the game for young girls who may not be all that familiar with hockey.” Kelsey continued. “We’ve had over 50 girls pass through the program already and I think at least half of them are playing on local girls teams now.” 

With Gary having coached before he immediately jumped into discussing drills and other things that he’d noticed being the most effective and Kelsey listened eagerly while glancing over the menu trying to decide what she wanted to eat. 

“Duck or Bass?” Taylor leaned over to whisper in her ear. 

“Bass.” Kelsey whispered back before again nodding at his dad and then talking about one of her girls favorite skill games that she’d found online. 

When the waiter circled around to see if they were ready to order, Laura and Gary both nodded having gotten a chance to look at the menu before Taylor and Kelsey even arrived. With Taylor nodding, Kelsey didn’t even bother looking back down at her menu, just letting him order for her once again even as his mother’s eyes went wide. 

“It’s fine.” Kelsey murmured. “Taylor orders for me basically anytime we go out somewhere. I can be a bit indecisive.” 

“Indecisive and price tag conscious.” Taylor elaborated after their orders were placed. “And I gave her options.” He shrugged. 

Hearing the confirmation that Kelsey was fine with it made Laura relax and not say anything. As Gary turned back to coaching, Kelsey couldn’t help but smile as Laura rolled her eyes. 

“Gary. We are not talking about hockey drills the entirety of dinner.” Laura chastised before changing direction. “So how did you two meet?” She questioned having never really gotten an answer out of Taylor. 

“Oh uh at the rink.” Kelsey admitted. “I was more than a little pissed at Carvy because he was kicking my girls off the rink like twenty minutes early and I literally ran into Taylor who made a joke about hiding dead bodies in the woods behind Silvan instead of the rink. It threw me so off guard that I kind of forgot how mad I was.” 

“Then I saw her at a party shortly after that and we just hit it off. Started talking more.” Taylor threw in, his cheeks turning a little pink at everything that wasn’t explicitly being said. 

“When Taylor asked me on a date I was so excited.” Kelsey admitted. “And it couldn’t have been more perfect either. An outdoor rink all to ourselves. Homemade hot chocolate. Dinner and then him asking me to be his girlfriend.” 

Sipping at her wine after giving a very brief rundown of the beginning of their relationship, Kelsey glanced at Taylor hoping that everything she’d said had been okay. She really wanted his parents to like her. 

“So what else do you do for fun?” Gary questioned. 

“Well I’m waiting for the weather to get warmer but I love to go hiking on weekends so I’m hoping that I’ll be able to drag T with me now and then.” 

She hadn’t mentioned that to Taylor yet but if his smile was any indication, she was going to have no problem dragging him out for hikes and she was really looking forward to it. 

“And you sew?” Laura added. “Taylor sent us a picture of the pocket squares you made him. They’re beautiful.” 

“Yeah I love to sew.” Kelsey enthused. “I love going to thrift stores and getting clothing or fabric and making them into something new or just making them fit in the way that off the rack clothing usually doesn’t. And if I can mend clothing to last longer then even better.” 

“Yeah she saved one of my favorite pairs of athletic shorts.” Taylor grinned. 

The conversation regarding sewing triggered a reminder in Kelsey’s head and she made an ‘oh’ face before turning to reach into her purse. Pulling out a small tissue paper wrapped item she turned to hand it over to Taylor. 

“Before I forget…” She started. “Not sure if Carvy is having you guys wear suits for playoffs but in case he is…happy early birthday Tay.” 

“You want me to…now?” Taylor questioned for a moment as Laura and Gary watched with interest. 

With Kelsey nodding confirmation, Taylor tore into the tissue paper to reveal a tie in the same navy with white polka dotted fabric that one of his pocket squares was made from. 

“It matches.” He grinned, looking it over. “Thanks Kels, love it and you.” Kelsey blushed again a bit at the words and the kiss to her cheek that followed. 

“I’m glad.” Kelsey grinned, missing the look that Taylor’s parents exchanged at their son dropping the L word. “I like making things for you.” 

Without his parents even asking, Taylor passed the tie over to his dad for examination with Laura leaning in close as well to check it out. 

“Very nice.” Gary praised. “She’s going to have you looking all snazzy.” 

“You have a talent Kelsey.” Laura agreed. “Was this your first tie?” 

“Probably second.” Kelsey admitted. “I made one for my dad before. Still a learning curve though because it’s been awhile.” 

The moment was broken by the waiter coming by to deliver their meals. As they ate, conversation dipped, though Kelsey took the chance to ask questions like what Taylor was like as a little kid, trying to learn things about him that might not come up in natural conversation between them. 

A story of their family pet, D.O.G., was brought up and Kelsey couldn’t contain her laughter hearing about Taylor making a whole ass powerpoint on why they should get a dog that wasn’t stuffed. It was a nice try even though it clearly hadn’t worked. When Laura showed her a picture of Taylor with the stuffed dog, Kelsey smiled brightly because yeah he was a really cute kid for sure. 

On the subject of pets, Kelsey brought up that she had had a bearded dragon named Pebbles for a good majority of her life up until a couple of years ago which seemed to catch Taylor by surprise as they’d never talked about her having a pet before. It had been a low maintenance pet that she’d finally been able to wear her parents down to and she had loved him, though she was definitely open to a furry pet at some point in the future. 

Enjoying her meal, Kelsey listened as Taylor’s parents spilled a few other stories about her boyfriend. By the time his parents were grabbing the check to pay, Kelsey felt a little bit more relaxed because it seemed like dinner had gone well. 

“Do you want to come with us to Boston for the game on Wednesday?” Laura asked. “That way you don’t have to drive or worry about parking or anything.” 

Kelsey should have known the question was coming. But she didn’t and it completely caught her off guard, flaring up the panic she’d been feeling since Taylor first mentioned her meeting his parents. Yes, tonight seemed to have gone well but going to Taylor’s game meant that she would be with them not just for an hour for dinner but for nearly 6 hours between the drive and the game itself. All without Taylor there to steer away from anything that may be uncomfortable or to serve as a buffer. 

With Gary nodding approvingly and both of them giving her expectant looks, Kelsey really couldn’t say no without looking like a bitch. 

So she’d agreed, murmuring with as much enthusiasm as she could muster that that sounded really great. Internally though she was trying to hold onto her composure knowing that it was going to be a rapidly losing battle. 

With Laura declaring that they would get her number from Taylor, Kelsey thanked them for dinner as they headed out of the restaurant exchanging brief hugs before parting ways to head to their respective vehicles. 

Sinking into the driver’s seat, Kelsey let out a loud sigh and leaned her head back against the headrest just trying to breathe. After a moment, Taylor’s fingers curled over her thigh as he rested his palm there over her dress. 

“You feeling okay?” Taylor asked softly, his thumb brushing back and forth. 

“I’m fine Taylor.” Kelsey murmured though her use of his full name and inability to force a smile spoke loudly to the contrary. Taking another deep breath, Kelsey buckled her seatbelt and then looked to him to do the same so that she could take him back to his apartment. 

After a moment Taylor secured his seatbelt as well and Kelsey pulled out of the parking spot to make the short drive across town, her fingers tapping on the steering wheel as she drove. 

When she arrived at the dorm she pulled up in front of the building along the curb to drop him off rather than searching for a parking spot. 

If Kelsey wasn’t drowning in her own anxiety she would have noticed Taylor’s confused and slightly hurt expression. 

“What’s going on Kelsey?” He eventually asked, his voice timid. “You’re not coming up?” 

“Not tonight Taylor…” Kelsey stated quietly. “I don’t want to be a distraction, you have an important game Wednesday.” 

“Kelsey…” Taylor pleaded. “Did I fuck things up tonight for us?” 

“No T.” Kelsey mumbled, closing her eyes for a moment. “Just….you’re not the only one that gets anxious. And you’re not the one who is going to spend the next 48 hours stressing over saying or doing something to make your parents hate me because I’m spending six hours alone with them two days after they met me.” 

“Kelsey…if it’s going to make you this stressed out, you don’t have to go to the game.” Taylor mumbled. 

“What and have your parents think I’m a bitch and an unsupportive girlfriend?” Kelsey exclaimed. 

“Kelsey.” Taylor stated, his tone suggesting that that was a little bit ridiculous. 

“Taylor, it’s fine. We’re fine.” Kelsey sighed. “I just…I need to be by myself tonight to work through all of this. Okay?” 

Taylor was quiet for a long moment before nodding. 

“Okay.” He declared. “Can I get a good luck kiss for Wednesday before you go?” 

“Yeah Tay.” Kelsey murmured, turning her head to kiss him softly. As they parted, Kelsey pecked his lips again. “I love you Taylor.” 

“I love you too, Kels.” Taylor sighed before finally moving to climb out of her car and head inside leaving Kelsey to make her way back to her own apartment where she poured herself a large glass of wine and sunk into bed until she could work up the energy to do a long yoga and meditation session to work through the flurry of emotions she was feeling. 

*****

With the team heading off to Boston Tuesday afternoon to settle in and prepare for Wednesday’s game, UMass Athletics held a brunch Tuesday morning for any of the parents who were in town for Hockey East playoffs. Making their way down from their hotel room to the conference room of Hotel Umass, Laura and Gary greeted the parents they knew from Taylor’s freshman season or had met over in Northern Ireland in November. 

Grabbing food they settled at a table and into light conversation with the parents that joined them. After a few minutes Coach Carvel and the other staff started the obligatory season recap to date, discussing how it had been a tough season as they were well aware but how he appreciated their boys being so even keel win or lose and that playoffs were a big opportunity for them to end on a positive note. 

Mingling and light conversations followed the speeches with Lucas Mercuri’s mom Dina taking a spot at their table to catch up as their sons had been roommates for two years now. 

“So Luc says you took Taylor out for dinner last night? Must have been nice to catch up a bit.” 

“Well it was more than that.” Laura admitted. “Taylor brought his girlfriend so that we could finally meet her.” 

“Big step bringing her to meet the parents.” Dina declared. “I remember when Luc brought his girlfriend home. From what I hear, Taylor has this girl around a lot, he must really like her.” 

“If his indirect dropping of the L word is any indication I think he more than likes her.” Gary mused. 

“And what do you both think of her?” Dina inquired. 

“She seems to really care about him.” Laura replied neutrally. “They share some interests and it seems like she’s independent but it’s hard to really have an opinion after just one dinner.” 

“But there were no red flags that jumped out?” 

“No. She was polite, attentive, affectionate but not inappropriate. Taylor didn’t tell her until just before they headed to the restaurant that she was meeting us so she seemed a little on edge but that’s on Taylor not her. Taylor can be a bit daft sometimes, takes after a certain someone I know.” Laura stated, finishing with a chuckle as she looked over at her husband. 

After a few more minutes Dina bid her leave, following after quite a few parents who had already left leaving the room more sparsely occupied. 

Discussing softly between themselves a plan for the rest of the day, Laura and Gary looked up at the sound of a chair sliding along the floor to find Coach Carvel sinking into the it with a cup of coffee in hand. 

“So I overheard that you met my niece last night…” Greg stated casually. 

Brows furrowed as Laura and Gary looked between themselves before looking back at their son’s coach, their confusion evident. 

"I know, imagine my surprise when I found out from my niece that she's dating your son." 

There was a moment’s pause before Laura’s eyes widened. 

“I’m gonna kill him.” She mumbled under her breath. First Taylor failed to warn his girlfriend ahead of time about meeting them and then he failed to mention that his girlfriend was related to his hockey coach. 

How hadn’t it crossed his mind that maybe that was an important thing for them to know and not have dropped on them unexpectedly. 

“They both have strong personalities but they manage to balance each other out somehow.” Greg added. “They’re both good kids and have good heads on their shoulders. Even if they both piss me off sometimes.” 

Though still shocked, Laura and Gary both laughed a bit at the last comment because yeah that sounded like Taylor for sure. It made sense that they were cut from the same cloth, good and bad. Still, Greg knew that he needed to put in a good word for Kelsey because apparently she loves the younger Makar and admittedly they were kind of cute together and he had a feeling based on overhearing that she had been on edge that it was important to her to have the Makars like her. 

"As soon as she told me they were together, Kelsey threatened me against letting their relationship impact his position on the team so she's pretty serious about him.” Greg stated, giving Taylor’s parents some time to mull over his words. 

“Taylor has made some major strides this season, it’s good to see all the hard work paying off.” He complimented, changing topics. “Still has lots of work to do but it’s a positive thing to see.” 

Talking for a couple of minutes more, moreso about Taylor than Taylor and Kelsey, Greg took his leave, moving to stand up.  

"You know it's ironic that someone who hates men's hockey so much fell for one of my players...hadn't seen that coming." He quipped because he was still shocked that Kelsey had ended up interested in someone on his team after hearing her rants about men’s hockey. 

As he left, Laura again considered murdering her son for failing to mention it and Gary couldn’t help but shake his head at what a ballsy move it was by his son getting involved with his coach’s niece. 

****

After thoroughly chastising her son over text, Laura obtained Kelsey’s phone number and messaged her about the game Wednesday night, subtly offering her an out if it wasn’t something she was comfortable with by checking to make sure that it wouldn’t interfere with her schoolwork. 

The last thing Kelsey wanted though was for Taylor’s parents to think that she wasn’t a supportive girlfriend so there was no way she was going to back out of the game even if she was more than a little anxious about it. 

Laura had offered a few options for meeting including getting a bite to eat on campus, picking her up at her apartment or meeting somewhere else and Kelsey had suggested just meeting at Mullins because she could easily leave her car there and it was relatively convenient. 

Plus she wasn’t sure that she was going to be able to eat with the nerves swirling through her. Tuesday night she had stressed over her outfit and made a mess of her closet before finally settling on black leggings, a grey and black oversized hoodie, and black sneakers along with the hat Taylor had given her. 

After her Wednesday afternoon class, Kelsey had gone to the library for an hour or so before heading to Mullins to meet up with his parents at the designated time. 

Through the car ride, Laura and Gary talked amongst themselves, occasionally throwing a question Kelsey’s way to give her the opportunity to engage as much as she wanted to with them. Kelsey tried to find the balance between not being rude but also not putting herself out there in a way that would risk her saying anything that might not go over well. 

As much as she tried to hide her nerves, it was obvious that she was as much on edge tonight as she had been at dinner Monday though Laura and Gary tried to put her at ease. They knew she was nervous about being around them without Taylor and that she clearly wanted to make a good impression. 

In the arena, they found their seats amidst the rest of the parents, families, friends, and girlfriends of UMass. 

“Want something to drink Kelsey?” Gary asked. “Water? Beer? Seltzer?” Prepared to just ask for water, Laura leaned over whispering softly. 

“You’re allowed to drink in front of us Kelsey. It’s probably going to be a stressful game. But no one is going to force you.” Stressful was probably going to be an understatement with so much on the line and Kelsey sighed. 

“Truly or something?” She asked, thanking Gary softly. 

Running her fingers through her hair, Kelsey fixed the ball cap on her head before shifting slightly in her seat as Laura talked to a few people around them. By the time warmups started, Gary had returned and Kelsey took the can of booze in hand, smiling softly in thanks. 

Sipping at the drink, Kelsey focused on watching Taylor on the ice going through a warmup routine that was familiar to her even if she’d only been to a handful of his games. 

Standing for the anthem, Kelsey wanted to be hopeful but couldn’t quell the feeling that this was about to be a painful night. And just over a minute into the game before Taylor had even taken his first shift that feeling was proven right as BC got on the board early. 

Taylor showed that he had his legs on his first shift causing Kelsey to let out a sigh of relief. Right off the faceoff on his second, number 11 for BC tugged on the back of Taylor’s jersey holding him up from taking off into the offensive zone and Kelsey threw her hands in the air because what the hell you can’t do that. 

Though she didn’t want to be a bitch, Kelsey couldn’t help but mumble under her breath when Morrow made another turnover leading BC to head the other way. Sighing during a stoppage Kelsey murmured softly that at least Taylor’s line had showed up tonight because she wasn’t sure anyone else had. 

The seniors certainly hadn’t as they were on the ice for BC’s second goal with just under three minutes to go in the first. 

As the first period waned, Kelsey sat on the edge of her seat as Mercs brought the puck into the zone before passing it back to Mikey who immediately sent it cross crease to Taylor who buried it into the back of the net. Instantly she was out of her seat screaming and jumping up and down in excitement because that was the first goal her boyfriend had scored with her in the building. 

The smile on her face was so bright watching him skate back to the bench for fist bumps and Gary stated simply that that put him in the lead for goals on the season. 

If they could just carry a one goal deficit into intermission that was at least something. 

And then the seniors came out on the ice and less than a minute after Taylor’s goal with fucking 15 seconds left in the period gave up another goal to extend BC’s lead back to 2. Immediately Kelsey deflated and cursed softly because of course it was the fucking seniors who had been shit all season when they were supposed to be leading the team. 

She was trying to be polite because she knew their families were possibly around but it was so hard when of the 3 goals against so far they had been on the ice for two of them. Downing the rest of her Truly during intermission, Kelsey found it hard to keep still. 

When halfway through the second they allowed a third goal against as a line, Kelsey waited for the next stoppage in play before excusing herself from their row, her body radiating anger as she made her way to the concourse. Her uncle should have fucking benched that line a period ago because they looked like absolute crap out there and yet Taylor was trying so hard to get something going for his team. It just wasn’t fair. And if she sat there for even one more minute she was going to snap at someone. 

It wasn’t long before Kelsey felt a warm hand brush against her shoulder as she paced in a small circle. 

“Are you okay?” Laura’s soft voice asked. 

“Do I look okay?” Kelsey asked, her voice breaking as anger turned to sadness at the realization that there was no way they were coming back from this deficit and Taylor’s season was about to be over. “Taylor is fucking trying to put this damn team on his back and get something going and the fucking seniors who are wearing the letters are just damn liabilities on the ice. The game would be fucking tied if they could play some damn defense.” Her voice lowered as she spoke and her legs started to shake as tears pooled in her eyes. 

After a moment, Laura’s arms wrapped around her pulling her into a hug and Kelsey sobbed softly. 

“T might make dumb decisions sometimes but it’s because he gives a damn about this team and is trying so hard.” She cried. “And there are nights it feels like no one else is. The leaders suck at leading and it’s so demoralizing to watch.” She mumbled into Laura’s shoulder, letting Taylor’s mom hold her until she was able to pull herself together. 

“Go clean up Kelsey.” Laura eventually directed, “And I’ll go get you another drink because I think you’re gonna need it to get through the third.” 

Kelsey didn’t have the energy to argue with that and she couldn’t deny that maybe a buzz would help numb some of the pain. So heading into the nearest women’s bathroom, Kelsey proceeded to clean up her makeup before heading back to the entrance to their section where Laura was waiting. 

Sinking into her seat, Kelsey took the can from Laura and watched the final few minutes of the period with slumped shoulders as she sipped at the alcohol. 

During second intermission, she pulled up some flashcards on her phone just needing to center her brain anywhere but here. She missed Laura and Gary’s shared look and mouthing of ‘she’s upset his line is the only one trying’ as she tried to mentally recite chemical reactions formulas. 

When the third period started, Kelsey put her phone away just in time to see Taylor’s line take the ice to start the period. Which was about damn time. She’d understood her uncle elevating the seniors to the first line for senior night but she could not understand why they’d been kept there when they really didn’t deserve it. 

And right away they got the puck deep into the offensive zone leading to an Ufko goal 20 seconds into the period. Though Kelsey knew it wouldn’t be enough at the same time it felt like a bit of a fuck you to her uncle because now he certainly wouldn’t be able to deny that Taylor’s line had been the best out there all night long. It was a moral victory, albeit a small one. 

Again, Umass could not feed off of scoring and instead let BC score once more, except this time it wasn’t the senior line. By the time Taylor took a penalty late in the third, that Kelsey wasn’t sure was even a penalty, she was beyond ready for the game to be over because that had been awful. 

As she followed Gary and Laura and realized that they were heading down toward the locker rooms with the rest of the families, Kelsey did her best to not look sad or stressed because she knew that wouldn’t help Taylor any. 

When he finally appeared in the hallway, Kelsey let his parents wrap him in hugs first before stepping forward to sink into his arms, his head immediately dipping into her shoulder. For the first time all day she felt herself relax and just held him close rubbing his back. 

“I love you Taylor.” She whispered in his ear. 

Watching their embrace, Laura and Gary made note of the way they melted into each other, providing each other with security and strength. 

Though Kelsey could have praised him for the way he played, she knew that he wouldn’t want to hear it and instead just pulled him into a soft kiss, their lips barely grazing yet sharing so much. 

Eventually he looked up at his parents while still wrapped around Kelsey. 

“Can I ride home with you guys?” He asked quietly. “Coach said he didn’t care if we went with our parents.” 

After ensuring that it definitely was okay for Taylor to ride home with them, they left the arena and headed back to the car, Kelsey and Taylor piling into the backseat. Kelsey started on the driver’s side with Taylor on the other but by the time they stopped for Raising Cane’s because Taylor could always eat and Laura and Gary suspected that Kelsey hadn’t eaten since at least lunch, Taylor had pulled her into the middle of the backseat under solely the lap buckle. 

Taylor, having ensured that Kelsey ate, wrapped himself around her as his dad drove them back to Amherst. Within twenty minutes after finishing eating, both Taylor and Kelsey were asleep, his right hand on her left hip, legs tangled around each other, her head on his shoulder while his rested on top of hers. 

“We’re not making them either sleep apart or cram into Taylor’s dorm bed are we?” Laura inquired of her husband. “Because it’s pretty obvious that he needs her as much as she needs him and while I’m sure they’ve spent nights squeezed into his single, his body deserves better rest than that after tonight.” 

“What do you propose?” Gary murmured, peeking into the backseat as well. “Getting them a hotel room for the night? Because I’m fairly sure that’s in the parenting don’t column.” 

“Gary.” Laura declared. “They’re adults. And I’m pretty sure they’re just going to crash but at least they’ll be able to do it comfortably. Plus you know how much trouble Taylor has sleeping sometimes. If it takes sharing a bed with Kelsey to get him to rest then so be it.” 

Waving a hand for her to call the hotel, Gary focused back on the road. 

“But we’re taking him to Costco to buy condoms tomorrow.” He murmured with his wife clearly on hold. Laura had no qualms about that because they should stock Taylor up on some things before they left anyway. 

Getting the front desk, Laura inquired about whether there were any rooms near theirs available before securing the one across the hall for Taylor and Kelsey to spend the night in once they got back to Amherst. 

As they approached campus, Laura reached back to gently shake Taylor awake to see if they needed to stop by his dorm for anything or if his overnight bag from Boston would be sufficient. Him stirring woke Kelsey as well and they both groaned softly. 

“We got you guys the hotel room across the hall so you can sleep more comfortably.” Gary declared. “Do we need to stop anywhere to get anything first? Kelsey, do you need to get a change of clothes or something?” 

Still half asleep Kelsey didn’t really follow the conversation so Taylor answered for her. 

“We’ll figure it out dad.” 

By the time Gary pulled into the underground lot at Hotel Umass, Kelsey was gathering herself and feeling confusion wash over her. 

“Come on Kels, we’re just going to go to bed.” Taylor assured her, helping her out of the car before wrapping an arm around her and pulling her against his side. As they headed for the elevator, his parents stopped at the front desk, grabbing the room key and a spare toothbrush, sliding them to Taylor as they rode up to the proper floor. 

Outside the rooms, Laura hugged Taylor’s free side and kissed his head and Gary patted his back. 

“Know tonight didn’t go how you wanted but we’re still proud of you.” Gary murmured. “And I know a certain someone is too.” He added, nodding at Kelsey as she leaned against Taylor’s other side looking completely exhausted. 

“We’re just across the hall if you need us T.” Laura murmured. 

Nodding, Taylor unlocked the door to the room he and Kelsey would be crashing in, and guided her inside, flipping on the bathroom light to provide just enough to move by. 

“Time for bed Kels.” He whispered, walking her back toward the king bed before untucking the covers. Pulling the hat off her head, Taylor lifted her sweater off her body and slipped her bra off after unclasping it leaving her in just a layering tank. “Tights off?” He asked and when she nodded, his hands slipped under the fabric pushing them down off her legs so she could kick them off. Then he lifted her up into the big bed before moving to secure the deadbolt, flip off the light, set an alarm for class tomorrow knowing she would kill him if she missed it, and strip down to his own boxer briefs before crawling in beside her

Despite having more than enough space for both of them, Taylor pulled Kelsey into his chest and held her close, letting the slow rise and fall of her chest lull him back to sleep after a shitty night that ended a shitty season.