#kenadierae

[raelenel]

I haven’t decided on a blog name or cute tag line yet

"The night is dark and full of terrors" I woke up with this quote repeating over and over in my head. The quote is from a Game of Thrones episode where the "Red Lady" or Melissandra is pregnant with Stannis Baratheon's child and ends up giving birth to this shadow demon who goes and kills Renly Baratheon (a brother to Stannis and Robert who is in line for the Iron Throne) with the face of Stannis. All a little dark and twisty honestly. Now. Why I woke up with this particular quote on my mind makes me wonder, why the fuck. I haven't watched GoT since the new episode on Sunday nor have I read any theories about Baratheons lately (Yes... I read GoT theories between patients, don't judge). I don't remember what my dreams were about last night either but this quote for some reason is haunting me today. Lets keep writing and maybe i'll have this great revelation and figure out why it's stuck in my head. So I like to think my life is somewhat comical and people always tell me I should have a TV show. Well, I'm a chubby nurse with no TV connections and definitely don't have a face for TV, I don't even think I have a face for radio at this point so, blog it is!

Let's get to know each other a little bit. Or you can actually get to know me since this is my blog and i'll probably never meet you. Same same. So, I'm Raelene. I'm a 30yr old VERY SINGLE mom to two perfect girls; Kenadie who is currently 9 and Emery who is currently 5. Did I mention they are literally perfect? This si where I post a photo of them buuuuut I don’t know how yet so sit tight and when I learn to not be computer/tumblr dumb, I’ll show you just how gorgeous my crotch fruit are! 

Notice the emphasis on the VERY SINGLE, heyyyyy *eyeroll emoji* I guess this is where I give you back story on that. I married my high school sweetheart back in 2007. Shit out two kids and left him in 2015 because he was fucking my friend. Super great right?! Since then I've dated here and there but have only had one serious relationship which lord have mercy has ruined me mentally and emotionally more so than the end of my marriage did. Now, that doesn't mean i'm completely unavailable emotionally (heyyyy) but i've got some baggage just like the next chubby girl looking for love in all the wrong places, maybe just a little more. Weird story actually is that even though Tyler (the most recent ex) ruined me, we're still weirdly close friends*shoulder shrug emoji* That's a whole other post we can go into if y'all ask enough about it. 

So a little more about me. I still live in band tee's and converse. I love emo/indie music but if you get in the car with me and let me shuffle all the music on my phone you'll get anything from Marilyn Manson to Hillsong United. I have weird taste in music haha. But my go to is definitely emo/indie. My favorite movies include Breakfast at Tiffany's, Definitely Maybe, annnndddd uhm maybe the Harry Potter series. I'm a big Potterhead, way into Game of Thrones, I like to watch reruns of shows because i'm afraid to get into new ones for fear of hating it and wasting brain cells. Sometimes I don't realize the words that come out of my mouth until well after I've said them which seems to not always work in my favor. I'm a family medicine nurse and a hopeless romantic.

Should you continue to follow this you'll quickly realize that I am scatterbrained as fuck, I sometimes get very dark and twisty because I have what my doctor likes to call "debilitating and uncontrolled depression and anxiety" that I choose not to treat with SSRI/SNRI's, half of the time I don't think I'm making any sense whatsoever and the other half I'm patting myself on the back with how smart I am, and sometimes I'm just sassy. It'll be a rollercoaster but I can promise you that at some point I'll make you laugh, I'll make you question this crazy life the universe has given us, and I may even make you cry. Not just with my stories but what I hope is relatable words to touch you, your soul in some way. We all need a person and I truly believe sometimes that person isn't going to be right in front of you every day (thank you technology). I have made some of the best online friends that I go to with more of my life than my best friends I see every day.

So lets journey together, yeah? Lets see what shenanigans we can get into. And finally, welcome to the shit show!

-R