#khonjin buzzes

[the-tiniest-demigod]

you ever just kinda wish a character wasn't evil

like don't get me wrong Bill being evil is very cool and funny but if he wasn't him and Mabel would be get along so well and that is a friendship I need in my life

[cantusemyfuckingdickanymore]

Pizza Blitz

Gay Spaghetti Chef would easily and rightfully boast that he made the best pizza around. It was a title the spaghetti chef claimed fiercely.

But he had to admit, Gino couldn't be far behind. The short round man buzzed about the kitchen, usually Gaylord's domain, prepping and mixing in a brisk fashion. He moved around Gay Spaghetti like he wasn’t there.

Gino's hair was tied back and a big white apron was tied around his middle. He coated the counter with flour, emptying the mixture out to knead.

The chef watched his boss work the dough with ease, every motion deliberate and natural. Those doughy little hands had a feel for it that made it look all too easy. Gay Spaghetti found himself mesmerized.

He painted the sauce on like an artist and spread an even layer of cheese, finally adding the pepperonis. He slid the perfected pizza into the oven, dusted his hands and started all over again. The smell of fresh, baking pizza filled the pizzeria for the first time in a while as Gino worked. The focus in those beady eyes spoke of a truly different state of mind.

Gay Spaghetti left him to it, instead checking out front where Gino usually sat. Even here, the enticing smell of pizza was thick in the air.

Khonjin was on the other side of the counter, looking ravenous.

Much like drool, thick globs of goo rolled down his face from where his mouth should be, dripping off his chin. He was practically vibrating with excitement.

Gay Spaghetti retreated into the back again.

He found Gino standing back in the doorway to the kitchen. The man dragged a hairy forearm across his creased, sweaty brow, lit a fat cigar and took a deep, celebratory puff. He still didn't acknowledge the chef, and try as Gaylord might he couldn't find words in him.

Frankly, he was afraid to ask what had so possessed him to take the reigns in the kitchen today. Gino had simply declared he was taking over and set to it.

He hadn't said a word since.

Gino seemed to know exactly when the first pizza was done, and boxed it expertly.

Gay Spaghetti silently followed him out as he carried it away. Khonjin's eyes stretched even wider at the sight.

"One large pepperoni." he announced, savouring each word and a grin spreading on his face.

Khonjin could barely contain himself as Gino flipped open the lid, the sight and the smell overpowering him, that perfect, bubbly cheese, that crisp crust...

"Oh Gino..." he gasped.

Gino made a show of taking out a slice, letting gooey strings of cheese drip as he pulled it free.

"...all for me." he took a bite out of it.

"WHAT?!" Khonjin howled, already reaching across as Gino snatched back the box, laughing and stuffing the rest of this slice into his flabby maw with his free hand.

Gay Spaghetti watched them bicker for a few moments before deciding he'd seen enough. He doubted either would notice if he hopped off work for a few... hours.

[brettimaeus-writes]

Fried Raiden for Breakfast

A nlovely fanfic I started writing years ago. Then I lost it, but for some reason I couldn’t get it out of my head so I rewrote it last week.

SO basically in an effort to lube up my desire to write and make myself think significantly less highly of my writing, I will be doing weekly installments of this dumb as shit series of Metal Gear fanfictions. I think this is perfect because Metal Gear’s already dumb as shit and treating it with a stream-of-consciousness Khonjin House-esque wacky tonality will be the perfect way to shit out something every week, because it can be the worst shit ever, and I can leave it wherever I want or make an episode as short as I fuckin’ need if I can’t find the time to write one week. Anyway, the point is, it doesn’t matter how shitty it is I’m gonna be shitting it out once a week because that’s what I told myself I’d do and if I start slowing down instead of speeding up then I’ll fall right off the train and onto the train tracks and it’ll be so easy to just sit there on the train tracks instead of catching another train so take it away Raiden:

The Raiden phone buzzed, alerting him that he must go to New Zealand for his new mission. Raiden checked the time. Yup, it was still the year 2033. He’d been contently fucking murdering people for 19 years. Making people stop living was a heck of a living, but he reminded himself that he was doing it all for his family, who happened to be living in New Zealand so he would get to see them while he was there so that was really good.

He took a public flight and had his knees cramped by the seat in front of him, so he stabbed his high frequency blade through the back of the cushion to kill the person sitting there and then chopped the seat up by its roots and kicked it away. A flight attendant reminded him that murder wasn’t actually legal. He excused himself by saying that he’d actually forgotten, since he was really used to murdering people basically weekly, and everyone found that understandable until he started arguing that since they were also over international waters the rules shouldn’t apply anyway. Considering there are no countries where murder isn’t legal, it didn’t seem like a defensible argument, and perhaps even weakened his original point. Raiden resisted the urge to murder them for attacking his opinions, and therefore himself as a person.

The plane touched down and Raiden sprinted to Rose’s house in a couple minutes. He kicked the front door off its hinges and shouted “RRRRRROOOOOOSSSEE????” From the kitchen, he heard a counter-shout, “No blood on the carpet!” He took mild offense that she would just assume he had blood on him, but he did have to swipe his sword outside the front door and paint the sidewalk and hedges with some chunky blood, so he didn’t utter a retort. Wait! That’s the only greeting he got??

“Rose, I- I’m home!” Stammered Raiden, attempting to catch a verbal consolation prize.

-To Be Continued

[the-tiniest-demigod]

Rating gravity falls characters based on what they'd get canceled for

1: Bill cipher. He would hack into several other famous people's accounts and say/post horrible shit, before posting irl gore on his main

[the-tiniest-demigod]

Has anyone made pepto bismal flavored lollipops yet or am I gonna have to be the one to patent it

[the-tiniest-demigod]

the visual of bill getting absolutely sloshed off time punch and calling someone a faggot is really funny to me . do you think he’d call kryptos a faggot

all the henchmen are getting it but i think kryptos is getting it the worse

this is not to say that kryptos wouldn't be hammered also and throwing it right back at him

[the-tiniest-demigod]

you ever stare at a character your hyperfixed on and feel the burn behind your eyes

god damnit why cant i be normal about them

[the-tiniest-demigod]

I can fix him (I purposely wrote him to be an irredeemable monster)

[the-tiniest-demigod]

Can I just say, I absolutely ADORE the animation in the walten files 4

It has such a creepy and unique vibe, a terrifying mix of realistic and stylistic (is that the right word? Idfk) it looks like something you'd see on an old obscure cartoon, the kind you'd have vivid yet foggy memories of watching

[the-tiniest-demigod]

i wonder how calculators feel when you type 80085 on them

"I was constructed for calculations and this is what you utilize me for? You couldn't even type a face or something??"

[the-tiniest-demigod]

I've been friends with this person for almost a month now and today I just realized I don't know their name?

how does that happen?? how have i not noticed they never told me their name?? we talk all the time?? what the fuck????

They just like,, appeared in my tiktok dms one day asking to be pals nd I was "yea sure why not" I don't usually trust people that quickly? what kind of otherworldly charisma do they have on me?? Should i be concerned?? help/??? help me??/?//?

[the-tiniest-demigod]

I love changing my pfp with my fishbrain. I have doubled taked my own posts so many times today its not even funny

"who the hell is that with the family guy kinito pfp- oh wait"

[the-tiniest-demigod]

blorbo is slowly worming back into my vocabulary...

i think ive been on this app too much

[the-tiniest-demigod]

Does anyone else unconsciously add e's to the ends of words that dont have them when writing on paper? I don't know why I do it and I don't know how to stop

[the-tiniest-demigod]

Hate tiktok all you want but nothing will beat tiktok asmr

i just watched a video called "bestie does you makeup at your funeral" and right after it was "girl whos obsessed with you eats your lice" you cannot top these I'm sorry

[the-tiniest-demigod]

I can't even blame tiktok for my lack of attention span simply because i was doing the "gameplay and video at the same time" thing before i ever downloaded the app