#kin analyzing

[wonder-worker]

Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.

[genderstealer2000]

rounding up people who want to dress up in fluffy sweaters, winter boots, crocheted scarves and hats. explore the cold outdoors, collect little trinkets, and just appreciate each others company. free to act however we want without being judged. and and and we could listen to alex g together. maybe maybe maybe

[jdsgothwife]

hello everyone, i'm god's least favorite goth bitch and i'm here to (over) analyze a character from a 36 year old movie!

so jd's reaction to veronica's faked suicide. i've put together this handy-dandy little comparison video between the movie and musical versions of it for you:

now, the reason i'm starting my probably-long-and-annoying series of jd analysis posts off by talking about this scene is because i see a new post about it like twice a week, and all of them say essentially the same thing: "musical jd loved and cared about veronica, but movie jd didn't, and this scene proves it".

but i actually think the opposite. jd is a deeply emotionally traumatized eighteen year old boy with an abusive father, bud dean. bud abuses people and blows things up for a living. jd's mother, implied to be the only person who loved and cared for him as a child, was driven to suicide by his father, and jd had to watch her kill herself. jd has been moved around from place to place and subjected to bullying from his classmates ever since, and when he meets veronica, he falls in love with her passionately and with his whole heart.

doesn't it make sense, then, that when jd finds the girl he loves dead from suicide in the middle of his plan (like his father blowing up the house), his trauma is triggered, and he feels love and pain and heartbreak and guilt and bottles it all up, trying to keep up the "tough guy" image he had tried to impress veronica with?

in the clip, notice the way his voice shakes and his eyes are shiny with tears. it hurts every time for me, and it feels like how that character would genuinely respond to that moment.

musical jd's reaction, on the other hand, is over the top and way more emotionally open than i think jd would really ever feel comfortable being without years of therapy. that makes me distrust it coming from the character, and his love for veronica actually starts to seem much less genuine to me.

...i don't know if any of that even made sense, sorry!

[leviolo]

How deeply, fundamentally unlovable do you think Crowley must feel?

Like, you’re created for a specific purpose. one big grand purpose and belief that you are told makes up essentially, your entire being, no questions asked. And for the most part, quite nearly everyone around you manages to do it with ease. But for some ungodly (lol.) reason, you simply cannot. Something about who and what you are doesn’t fit the puzzle you’re told you were designed specifically for, and you’re cast out for it. And then, once you’re already cast out, you’re given a new purpose, a new belief, a new mold to fit. And once again, everyone around you falls into place. Each and every being like you manages to choose either side, to find a place for who they are. Once again, you simply, fundamentally, can’t. No matter how hard you might try. Once again, you’re condemned for it.

But then one day, you find someone, and they’re incredible, and not only do they not cast you out or condemn you, but it almost seems as though the more they get to know you the closer you two are. The more you might love them. The more you might even, maybe, be loved back. It takes a lot out of anyone to be rejected from every institution, every belief, every community you have ever known only for being who you are. That’s painful. Even worse, that’s lonely. And for so, so long, it utterly terrifies you, that thought of turning over the last corner of your heart, for fear it will happen again. That it will happen for the last time, and you will finally have to reckon with the thought that maybe there truly is not a single place in this universe for you.

And then you do. You turn over your heart. And it happens again.

To be known is, supposedly, to be loved. But what if it has only ever meant to be abandoned?

[de-mortem]

Childe Kinnie: A Character Analysis and Introspection

To immediately dive in: Childe is the poster child for C-PTSD.  C-PTSD forms from experiencing repeated trauma for an extended period of time, the brain being forced to function solely on survival on a day to day basis, fitting Childe exactly, and is probably why I've, sadly, boasted him as one of my highest kins despite him being from Genshit (I am AR55 I can say that).  Childe's trauma and his various methodologies of dealing with it and living with it are shown throughout his story and, your honor, make him So Me.

To begin: what caused Childe to form C-PTSD?  Childe's trauma is, obviously, rooted from his fall into the Abyss.  Although the experience isn't fully described in lore, it's easy to assume he had to be on constant alert, ready to fight at any given moment.  It's here he met his teacher, Skirk, that allowed him to have the fighting skills necessary to survive in the Abyss and excel as a fighter in Teyvat.  Obviously, having to be taught means he wasn't always a skilled fighter, and he undoubtedly would've had several close encounters during his time in the Abyss, on top of fighting requiring excessive alertness, especially when constantly in a hostile environment.  Thus, being alert becomes a constant in his life.

Biologically, what is happening is stress hormones are constantly being pumped into the system, inducing the body into a constant state of fight, flight, or freeze.  This state of mind is one that will continue to plague the mind and body for an extended period of time, and will affect relationships and viewing oneself moving forward.  We can potentially see this in him being unable to form any meaningful relation with his peers–although such can also be blamed due to the eccentricness of the Harbingers themselves, who are… characters, to say the very least.  Either way, there is a disconnect shown between them, with Harbingers either viewing their youngest as an oddity or with Childe looking upon them with disdain for how they follow through in their ways.  Straightforward, Childe fights, and dislikes stopping to scheme like he peers frequently do.

Another addition to Childe's relations–although more of a headcanon–is a strained relationship with his family (younger siblings disincluded).  Coming back to normalcy, Ajax (who had undoubtedly changed in an irreparable manner) is headcanon to have been ostracized from his family–those old enough to have seen the change.  Ajax was once a frightened, hesitant boy, and within the span of three days the young boy had turned into a bloodthirsty weapon, quite literally losing the spark in his eye.  He was unable to go back to living a normal life, and due to it, had his relationship with his parents completely uprooted.  Unable to handle this new personality, the complete opposite of the young teen that walked off just three days prior, they sent him off to the Fatui, where his survivability made him thrive and Tartaglia was rightly born.

Upon the topic of Tartaglia, it is also of note his three names, and that they represent, because of course I relate to it as well.  The names represent not only different periods of his life, but different personalities, or state of being he is.  To begin: Ajax.  Ajax, easily identifiable, represents the child that lived in innocence up until his fourteenth year.  It carries the hope of a fair and good life, where nothing went wrong and happiness was of abundance.  It is his inner child, the spark that once lit his eyes.

Tartaglia comes next.  Tartaglia comes from the cruelty of the Abyss, of surviving and of the power he holds.  It is a title that shows he has survived–the youngest Harbinger, the Tsaritsa's Vanguard: Tartaglia is a shield.  Tartaglia is the hypervigilance of his surroundings, the need for bloodshed, to maim any potential threat before it can hurt him.  Tartaglia is isolated, above any common soldier or general, disconnected to his fellow Harbingers, unable to see the reasons behind why they act.  Tartaglia is a weapon, meant to be used, to serve a purpose in a way he doesn't decide: so unable to do anything other than survive, knowing how to do nothing other than fight, it makes sense to dedicate himself fully as the Tsarita's weapon.  Ultimately, Tartaglia boasts his trauma and shows you just how well he can fight, that he is still surviving. 

Childe, then, is the remnant of hope.  Childe is the mask worn–it is what he introduces himself as, the showing of a cheerful, childlike man.  Friendly and confident, willing to protect and keep any promise held.  A fierce dedication to his family–parcels of letters and medication sent back to the family that sent their teenager to the military.  Childe, willing to sacrifice his health, even like, for the sake of his little brother who unknowingly wandered into mortal.  Childe is the want of normalcy.  The want to create a place safe enough to do something more than survive–to let Ajax breathe for the first time in years.  Willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of those the holds dear, Childe would do anything for the approval that he lacks from his peers and family.

Three separate states of being, three separate all conglomerating into one fucked up guy.  A silly guy who puts on a front that to either hide away from his trauma or to boast how he has survived.  A constant switch, unable to lice without the other: both Childe and Tartaglia, who hold the dying corpse of Ajax in their arms: one trying desperately to heal him, the other desperately trying to protect him.  Ajax needs both to survive, but is given only one or the other, never both, never given any gasp of air to breathe.

The change of names could also hold significance in trying to avoid–another common symptom of C-PSTD.  By changing such an integral part of himself, it creates a distance between who he is now versus who he was then.  Perhaps it is projection: I, too, changed my name to separate myself from who I was, from the trauma that clung to my life in the past, which makes it of perfect sense to why it is fitting, then, for Childe to boast three separate names.  Ajax and the trauma of the Abyss, to Tartaglia and his time spent in the military and ostracized from his peers, and Childe who, hopefully, will rise apart from the names that haunt his every step.

Ultimately, he is just a silly little guy with a shitton of trauma.  A jokester whose need to survive slips in every now and then, a constant reminder of the harshness he faced on a prolonged basis.  And because of that, your honors he is sooooo me.  Me fr.  Omg.  Me if I didn't get therapy.

also there's a lot of jesus allegations, analogies, & theories going around by childe fans/mains, and who am i if not a lover of catholic imagery??

[derpinette]

i have this "alter ego" that only exists in my head where essentially i am a fat sloppy drunk old fisherman with no loved ones living in misery & isolation & i often imagine myself as him especially in moments of patheticness

[jax-of-spades]

Something I've noticed with being a Jax kin is that I tend to be more affected by being unable to leave 'normal' or 'comfortable' spaces than the usual kinds of spaces that are claustrophobic n stuff

Feeling stuck and trapped is a thing for me either way and I do know there's more to it than just being Jax (but that's not what this post is abt)

It's like it reminds me of the circus and that fear of [no escape] and [eternal damnation] returns /hj

[noverphiera]

I think it's interesting how we can see ourselves in characters, and we kind of adopt them because they remind us of dreams or expectations we have. Maybe they remind us of our past, or how we act around others, either way we treasure and cherish them for existing, because they make us feel happy.

Because its almost as if we're giving some love to ourselves through them, and we're doing what we wish was done to us when we were going through tough times.

We see a character, and "latch on for dear life" to them, because they are so much like us.

It's like seeing someone who has gone through the same you have, and came out alive, like you, but at the same time was hurting so badly the entire time, so they close off that part of themselves so that no one else can see it.

Just like you.

And that makes those characters special, because we can find ourselves within them, and connect in ways we cannot so easily with other people. They are our saving grace in rough moments, because we desire someone that could hold us up, someone that could be there with us.

And who better than someone who we feel resonates with us in every way?

[wonder-worker]

The division between the two families [the Woodvilles and the Nevilles] and their allies can be seen in the royal charters that they witnessed. Warwick, Rivers and Archbishop Neville of York, while serving as chancellor and afterwards, were fairly constant witnesses to royal charters and consequently often appeared together. This was not, however, the case for other family members and friends. From 1466 to 1469, if Scales or Woodville associates like Sir John Fogge, John Lord Audley or Humphrey Lord Stafford of Southwick witnessed royal charters, then members of the Neville group, such as John Neville, earl of Northumberland, or John Lord Wenlock would not, and vice versa. Discounting the ubiquitous Warwick, Rivers and Archbishop Neville, of the twenty-four charters issued between February 1466 and June 1469, twelve were witnessed by men associated with the Woodvilles, eight by men associated with the Nevilles and two were witnessed by no member of either group beyond the two earls at their heads and the archbishop; only two charters, both from 1466, featured associates of both families.

Such striking segregation of witnesses suggests that something more than simple convenience or availability was at play. [...] The evidence of these witness lists does show the extent of the split between the two groups from early in Edward's [first] reign and of the need for political society to work with that cleavage in the heart of the Yorkist regime."

-Theron Westervelt, "Royal charter witness lists and the politics of the reign of Edward IV"

*This is specifically applicable for Edward IV's first reign; in contrast, the charters in his second reign displayed a great deal of aristocratic and domestic unity and cohesion.

[catras-breakup-song]

i think once i move accounts, i’ll be more open about liking she-ra on my all-fandom sideblog instead of just creating a separate one for it.

it shouldn’t be a controversial statement to say that i’m critical of all the show’s writing flaws, and even catra herself, just because the story is so dear to me and catra is so beloved. i literally kin because of her, there has never been a character that has been truly representative of me until i found her. understanding that she isn’t always good or likeable doesn’t change that. in fact, it strengthens my understanding of both her and myself.

[jdsgothwife]

so y'all were very nice about this post i made earlier where i asked if you'd be interested in some more jd analysis from me! so jason "j.d." dean is a traumatized eighteen year old boy who's been abused all his life by his father who bullies people and blows things up for a living. jd lost the only adult in his life who loved and cared about him, his mother, at a young age after his father drove her to suicide, and she died right in front of jd, who was only a child at the time. jd desperately wants someone to love him. then, he's moved to westerburg (his dad also moves him around, so it's hard for him to make connections,) and he meets and falls in love with veronica sawyer. personally, i think that he pretty much immediately sees that veronica is really unhappy being dragged around by the heathers, and that she wants an escape.

so he makes himself into her ideal james dean esque bad boy who she'll fall for. he tries to be brave, he snarls and smokes and rides around on a motorcycle his dad gave him, probably copying "bad boys" he's seen in movies. and it works, and veronica is finally able to have courage to stand up to heather at the party. when thinking about this, i always think of how he tells veronica that her real feelings were "too gross and icky for her to face."

jd just loves her so much, and he feels like he can't just be himself, the scared traumatized boy, around her, because she's veronica and that won't be good enough for her. and, of course, his dad is a horrible role model, and jd doesn't know anything else, and he ends up going way too far with it. he seems genuinely confused when veronica is horrified by how far he goes, because he thought that was what she wanted from him.

at the very end, jd even seems proud that his beloved veronica has beaten him, or this fake version of him he's created. he loves her, and he's proud of her.

okay, that's all! i'm just a girl who analyzes characters a bit too much sometimes!

@ltr-png @velvetvexations @yourundiscoveredgyrl

[sort-of-a-hero-that-way]

"They ruined Britta" by what, fleshing her out? I'm so sick of this take being used anytime Britta is shown as flawed. She's an activist because she's super opinionated and she stands up for what she believes in, and that's her strength as well as her biggest flaw because she also gets caught up in her own perception of the world and fails to factor in other people's thoughts and needs (like when she paid the deaf girl to spoil Abed his book). She gets caught up in her jokes, gets caught up in her need to "treat" her friends, gets caught up in proving she's right. And sometimes she's right and she succeeds, sometimes she takes it too far and hurts people. It's her coping mechanism after having had to run away and to prove herself to everyone. She wanted, no, needed, people to see her succeed so badly, she sometimes fell into self-centeredness, even when her intentions are never malign.

So no, she didn't necessarily get ruined, it always made sense for her arc and she's a much more relatable character that way.

[oohbrother]

Like look at this pathetic little slut I’m in love with him

[kingdom-falls]

Oh no. I like Chai Hi-Fi Rush.

[whatamidoinghere413]

Updated characters to the kin list

• Roger Davis from Rent

• Mizore Yoroizuka from Liz and the Blue Bird and Sound Euphonium

• Kumiko oumae from sound euphonium

[aurae-rori]

DR RATIO ANALYSIS

SPOILERS FOR 2.1 CONTENT!

Now, you might be saying - "Aurae, Oh No! and Are You Satisfied? are much too basic songs to analyze Dr. Ratio to! Just because he's a scholar doesn't mean that he has academic trauma!" WRONG! Before we start, I have been researching psychology for approximately six years and I plan to go into it professionally. HOWEVER, that said, I am NOT a professional (YET. One day I will be. Yay for Aurae!) so understand that everything I come to conclusions about has been analyzed with some personal judgement, personal interpretations, and this is just what I have concluded with the info that I have deconstructed from his brain. If you disagree, that's fine!

I will be pulling from my own experiences with being a "golden" and "gifted" child, as well as the experiences I've had speaking to other people who were those. I will also be pulling from my experiences of researching and seeing how people with superiority complexes work, as well as diving into how those work (from what I've seen, as well as how they conceal a lack of self-esteem).

OKAY, NOW THAT THAT LONG AHH DISCLAIMER IS OVER, ALLOW ME TO WORK MY PSYCH ENJOYER MAGIC! Let's deconstruct Dr. Ratio like a lego toy.

Let's start off with how Dr. Ratio presents himself. When you first meet him, he seems like a haughty, arrogant asshole. He likes to PRESENT himself as a stoic, superior scholar who is purely in it to win it, and I got total "*stares down at your tiny body and laughs at how you lack knowledge*" vibes at the very start, due to how he goes around calling people idiots all the time. However, he DOES lose the idgaf war, and we can very quickly see that he does care for other people, even if in his own, strange way. Dr Ratio presentation: An asshole. The reality?

His entire character is based around the idea of helping the masses. He wishes to spread knowledge through the cosmos and give people who didn't have access to it, access. He's a harsh teacher, and calling people 'idiots' is NOT the way to motivate them, but he's doing his best™.

Actually, no, I'm going to go full psych into this. Okay, so here starts the Dr. Ratio and my FATHER COMPARISONS. My father is a professor and he is often called a harsh grader by his students. However, I've spoken to him multiple times because I was curious - why is he so harsh and diligent with his grading system? The answer is - he wants them to actually learn. When he's grading, he gives them harsh marks because he wants them to know exactly where they messed up, and he's always willing to stay after hours to help students understand where they can't. My father also is an enjoyer of knowledge, and for as long as I've remembered, he has prioritized teaching me how to think critically. He wants me to be able to think for myself - and I think that's what Dr. Ratio wants, too. He wants for his students to be able to fully comprehend and absorb the information that he teaches, and although his methods are harsh, he genuinely wants to help. My father's like this too - he hates students that waste his time or aren't here because their hearts are in it. Dr. Ratio hates people who aren't taking their education seriously because knowledge is important. Knowledge is a tool, and to disregard it completely is lowkey kind of insulting - especially when there are people who weren't privileged enough to actually get it, so this isn't something that you should take for granted. Dr. Ratio despises people who take knowledge for granted.

Also, I disagree with the claims that say that Dr. Ratio hates the genius society. He shows open respect for them in his voice lines. Just check them if you need proof. Also, I'll delve into the idea of Aeons and recognition later.

Now that we’ve established that Dr. Ratio kins my dad, let’s let's tackle the 'stoic' allegations. He is LOSING the idgaf war. Like, really badly. He has a temper of a thousand suns and snaps at people frequently, despite his 'impassive' face, his tone holds a LOT of emotion. He seems to feel very deeply and has a shit ton of empathy for others - why else would he be dedicating his entire career to helping others? Of course, he doesn't express this in 'typical' ways of being openly kind - but it doesn't mean that he doesn't care for other people. In fact, he seems to be pretty good at putting himself in the shoes of others and understanding them - expressed in the 2.1 quest where he tells Aventurine to tell him if he can't hold on any longer. Also, he loses the IDGAF war because he is actively trying to help people who want to learn and trying to spread logic and knowledge across the cosmos to those who didn't have it before. Would a man who didn't GAF do that? No!

Now that we've covered his view on knowledge and the way that he presents himself, let's turn to the way that he SEES himself. Now, this is where we get into the nitty gritty of gifted child trauma & academic trauma as well as crippling expectations. It's literally explicitly said in his character stories that he sees himself as mediocre, and it's canon that he doesn't have a good view of himself. His self-esteem is down in the fucking trenches along with my sanity as I write this analysis. The reality is - being called a genius your whole life doesn't really make you feel better about yourself. I'd know. I was. In fact, it makes you feel fucking worse when you can't live up to an expectation. We all fail in life. It's part of being human. But when you're held to such high standards - idolized for your knowledge and the way that you're 'gifted' - the crash comes really fucking hard. Failure is inevitable, and when people who are held on that pedestal experience it, they take it really bad.

The reality is that nobody - not even geniuses - are perfect, but you grow up believing that you are. Then, when you fail for the first time, it all comes tumbling down. The first time I came home with a bad grade was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I hadn't studied because I was arrogant and I thought that I was smart enough to pass without putting any extra effort into it - because I was a 'gifted' child, right? I should've been able to do it without studying like the other kids. And that's the thing with gifted children – you grow reliant on that title. You cling onto it for dear life for motivation, as well as self-perception. Little by little, the person you are falls apart as you slave away to the perception other people have of you. I think basically every gifted child that I've ever spoken to is a victim of this – and of course, you can heal from this mindset - but it's a hard one to shake.

Ratio's way of presenting himself as being a 'genius' and 'arrogant' also seems to contradict the way that he calls himself 'mundane' at the same time. However, these are two mindsets that can coexist. One part of you believes that you are a genius and that you are perfect, while the other part is crumbling and calling yourself good-for-nothing every time you make a mistake. It's a tiring cycle to live in. This usually leads to people shutting themselves out and closing themselves off after living like that, pushing back your own feelings in favour of being the perfect child. However, we don't know the exact details of Dr. Ratio's childhood, but we can infer that he was held to a pedestal, and this is a very harmful mindset for a child to have.

His superiority complex comes both from how other people view him, but it's a way to cope with his crippling lack of self-esteem. I'm sorry my guy. Also helping others probably helps him feel like he's worth something and makes him feel better because he bases his entire worth off of what he can do and how he can help others. However, this is just my personal interpretation backed by what I have already deconstructed. 

In general, this is an easy way to crush self-esteem. You spend your whole life working to meet the image of what other people think you are. In fact, another reason why Dr. Ratio might be so harsh is because that’s the kind of attitude he holds towards himself when conducting research – he’s as hard on himself as he is to others. You end up hating the idea of failure, instead of seeing it as it should be - a way to improve and grow. Actually, I think this could be a reason that he went out of his way to break that illusion of 'worshipping geniuses' in the Space Station. Maybe some sort of childhood connection? Personal connection? In his endeavour to spread more knowledge and make people think for themselves and not blindly follow geniuses, to wake them up and let them think for themselves - maybe, somewhere, in there, he's helping that little child that was almost dehumanized for his intelligence. TLDR: Conflicting mindsets due to trauma, brain vs heart almost - his knowledge that he is a genius vs the crippling lack of his self worth.

Now that we've established Dr. Ratio's self worth, let's take a look at the impact Aeons had on him. Nous, the Aeon of Knowledge itself. I think in a world where the Gods are real, tangible beings that you can reach out and talk to - it makes sense that someone with high ambition and someone who's been called a genius his whole life would seek the confirmation of Nous. When you're a man of knowledge, and you've spent your whole life working with it, being praised for it – it feels natural to look for a god to look down upon you and bless you, right? The Genius Society – it should house him, because he is a genius as well, right? Imagine this – you have been called a genius your whole life, held to that kind of pedestal for so long, and now you wait for the recognition of the Gods. Because if you truly are a genius – then surely, a higher being will recognize your intelligence, right?

The invitation never comes.

And then, comes the doubt.

What if I'm really not a genius? What if everything I've worked for is a lie? Aeons are beings that are 'absolute'. If the god of Knowledge won't accept you or even cast a glance upon you, does that mean that everything was wrong. Gods see more than humans, after all. Gods know more than humans - and that spiral... I think you can see if. (If you don't let me know. I will ramble about how a failure like that can make you spiral down into a worse mindset). 

However, the reason why Ratio was never invited to the Genius Society is simple. It’s because he LOSES THE IDGAF WAR. Now, if we look at all the people we know who are in the Genius Society - we find one thing in common. They’re in it to win it for themselves. They don’t help others using the knowledge that they’ve gotten - they use it to pursue shit for themselves. The people of the Genius Society are inherently self-serving. They WIN the idgaf war. Ratio LOSES. Do we see now? 

Ratio’s empathy is the reason why he wasn’t let in. He is too human. Nous is a computer. Herta is detached from people. Ruan Mei is literally looking at life as test subjects. Screwllum is a robot. 

OUR DOCTOR MAN LOST THE IDGAF WAR, BECAUSE HE IS HUMAN AND FEELS FOR OTHERS!!! 

Also, it’s a plausible theory that Nous’s definition of ‘genius’ is different from the human definition of ‘genius’ – it’s a computer, after all. Who knows what’s going on in that code head of its. 

However, we still love you Ratio. Never stop losing the IDGAF war. 

TLDR: Nous is a computer. It is also in it to win it. It is also self serving. It gazes upon the hoes who are here to win it for themselves. Ratio is busy serving the masses and cooking knowledge in his frying pan. To it, there is no logical reason to be doing this. Therefore, no reason to invite this guy to the Genius Society. 

Ratio’s gifted child trauma says otherwise. He wants in. Why wouldn’t he? He’s been working his whole life as a genius. 

Nous is like… nah bro, you care too much. Ratio is like, ‘what the fuck?’ And then the AEON OF KNOWLEDGE GOES FOR THE MILK. 

Okay, now, quick shoutout to Ratio wanting to help others. He is just like me fr. SO BASICALLY, RECAP OF EVERYTHING I JUST SAID:

Ratio LOSES the idgaf war because he cares about other people. Spent his whole life as the golden egg, and then turns to the gods for recognition because of the inherent trauma of being a child genius. He goes, "hey bro, can you confirm that I am in fact a genius?" and Nous goes, "no, you are too busy cheffing for the masses." Ratio goes, "what the fuck?" and then we collectively realize his attitude comes from blocking off his feelings (while failing miserably), being salty about not being recognized, being put on a pedestal for his whole life, and his crippling depression *cough* lack of self worth *cough*. 

Oh, and the "I will never be enough" thought train probably hits him every single day. He is not enough to be recognized by a God. Gods are superior to humans. Maybe nothing has worth after all. Hey, that's Nihility! Hi IX, let's hear what you have to say.

*muffled ix noises*

I see, I see.

The consensus is: HE'S TRAUMATIZED BY EXPECTATIONS! HE WILL PROBABLY SUFFER FROM BURNT OUT GIFTED CHILD IF HE HAS NOT ALREADY!

Okay, now, before I delve into song lyrics (and I KNOW this has been long, just bear with me) I want to talk a little bit (read: a lot) about his relationship with Aventurine. We all know that he cares about Aventurine in his own way. But I want to pull in another idea that I didn’t cover before: 

Ratio’s fucking emotional constipation. 

Basically, the reason why he has trouble connecting with others is because he was most likely alienated by others as a symptom of being called a genius and being put on a pedestal. This makes him seem unapproachable to his peers, most likely, and therefore, as a result, doesn’t know how to properly connect with others. This just makes his way of presenting affection and care to others even more challenging – because he just doesn’t know how to do it in a healthy and clear way. Academic trauma causing emotional problems, because he’s probably a little bit out of touch with his own. Processing? No! Research. Also, this is very important for understanding Ratio’s character in my opinion, because he’s just a little guy who doesn’t know how to articulate. Maybe he’s got a touch of the ‘tism. Tism mutuals, do we agree or disagree? 

However, in comes Aventurine. Love Aventurine, but they are both emotionally constipated. Aventurine displays his affection in ways that Ratio probably only catches after re-analyzing their time together about five times. He’s also a very closed off individual – but Ratio knows this. A cute thing is that Ratio is patient where he needs to be, even if he’s generally a pretty hot-headed guy, and I’m like… bro… that letter… “I wish you the best of luck”... I will wait for you…. GAY ASS MAN…

Sorry the Aventio demons took over. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that they both have nonverbal communication with one another that they clearly decipher and Ratio obviously cares for him (he came back and almost jeopardized the plan just for the sake of his ‘coworker’... okay gayboy…) and they just have such a neat little dynamic… Aventurine lets Dr. Ratio do his thing… understands his emotional alienation to a degree…. they’re so neat….

Okay, Aventurine segment over. NOW, FINALLY, WE CAN GET TO THE SONG LYRICS!!! YAY!!!! We all cheered!!!

We are going to be here for two more amber eras, because I realized I actually want to analyze every single lyric from both of these songs. Brace yourself for like, 2k more words. Help. 

I think it’s only proper that we start off with ‘Oh No!’ the song that has haunted me since my childhood.

“Don’t do love, don’t do friends

I’m only after success

Don’t need a relationship

I’ll never soften my grip”

Remember when I mentioned that alienation was a big part of Ratio lore? Yeah, that manifests itself in this. When you spend your entire life chasing after knowledge and being held to that standard of untouchable genius, it makes sense that you couldn’t connect with others and that you turn your gaze only to success. Therefore, relationships that are interpersonal lose meaning for a bit – you’re just looking for answers and ways to help them, not connect with them. Also, this is what he wants to do – so he’s never going to pass down an opportunity to better himself or to help someone else. 

“Don’t want cash, don’t want card

Want it fast, want it hard 

Don’t need money, don’t need fame

I just want to make a change

I just wanna change, I just wanna change” 

This is directly alluding to his reasonings for distributing knowledge across the cosmos. Was he based on this song? Maybe he was. He’s not looking for money or fame, his ultimate goal is actually pretty selfless – to bring knowledge and give people the tools they need to think for themselves. He just wants to make a change – he just wants people to be able to have access to knowledge and help cure ‘stupidity’. He wants to do it as quickly as possible, always reaching for lofty goals that might seem impossible, but he will make them possible. 

“I know exactly what I want and who I want to be

I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine

I’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy

Oh! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, oh!” 

Ratio knows his goal. He knows what he’s working towards. I do believe that he understands why he is the way that he is – he has a degree in Psychology, after all. He knows how he’s been hurt but at the same time, the trauma brain probably doesn’t want to recognize it and he hasn’t stepped into healing yet. He knows what he went through impacted him, but he’s too busy helping others to help himself. He’s becoming what he wants to be, and yet he’s not, all at the same time – which causes the idea of “oh no!” as a kind of cry for help, almost. He’s too proud to ask for it himself, of course, so he’ll fall alone until someone manages to catch him and give him the strength to continue holding on. Aventurine is that. 

“One track mind, one track heart

If I fail, I’ll fall apart

Maybe it is all a test

‘Cause I feel like I’m the worst

So I always act like I’m the best” 

Now, these are the exact lyrics that made me associate this song with Ratio in the first place. He’s got a singular goal that he will do nothing to stop at getting, that he goes so far to get to. However, as I mentioned earlier, failure is not an option for those who were deemed gifted or genius. You are perfect, so therefore you must live up to everyone’s every expectation and surpass them, too, in order to keep your perception of yourself intact. Ratio does not hold himself in high regard, but acts arrogant in order to hold himself together and not fall to the self-deprecating thoughts, even if they fall through the cracks. It gets tiring to hold yourself together like that for a long time, you know? 

“I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly

I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die

I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly

I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die” 

Remember how I was talking about contradictory mindsets and how they can coexist. This is them. The feeling of crippling self-hatred and lack of self esteem versus the idea that you can do it, you can make a difference – you were born a genius, this is what you’re going to do. This is the knowledge that you are a genius vs the lack of self-esteem that Ratio has. “Mediocre” vs “genius” mindset, eh? 

All the other lyrics in this song are repetitions of what I’ve analyzed before, so let’s move onto “Are you Satisfied?” 

To be honest, there are only a few lines in this song that allow me to connect it to Ratio, so therefore, I will only be analyzing them. However, if you think that other lyrics can connect to him, I’d be interested in knowing how. 

“What you’re gonna be 

It’s not my problem if you don’t see what I see

And I do not give a damn if you don’t believe

My problem, it’s my problem that I never am happy

It’s my problem, it’s my problem on how fast I will succeed”

Pretending to not care about how the world sees you is so fucking real. Sometimes, you really don’t give a shit, and sometimes it’s all you can think about. Ratio… doesn’t seem like he’s the happiest person. He works himself hard and he’s always chasing after a goal that must be exhausting. He’s always doing his best, and I think even with his empathy, it’s easy to start not giving a shit after trying for so long and so hard. Accepting help is one of the hardest things that anybody can do, especially with how much pride he has. His personal problems are his personal problems and he can deal with them on his own. 

“High achiever, don’t you see? 

Baby, nothing comes for free

They say I’m a control freak

Driven by a greed to succeed

Nobody can stop me” 

Nothing comes for free. A lot of the things Ratio has achieved is due to his own intelligence, yes, but also because of a shit ton of hard work. His goal is literally to cure the universe of ‘stupidity’ – and that’s a pretty large fucking goal. He is a high achiever who likes to know the details of every situation when he can in order to try and make things better, and he is driven by a greed to succeed. Why wouldn’t he be? Success is important, and success means helping more people. He isn’t going to allow himself to be stopped by anybody – not even anybody from the Genius society. 

Okay, and we have finally reached the end of my analysis! This caps at around 4k words, so if you stuck around for this long, thank you so much. I would love to hear any of your comments, and I hope you laughed a little bit. Thank you again! This means so much to me that you read. <3