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crash-cinematic-universe · 3 years

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rumor has it

pairing: peter maximoff/reader

summary: Idk if im doing it in the right one but whatever. Can you write a peter maximoff imagine where he has a girlfriend(reader) that has Allison Hargreeves powers from The Umbrella Academy - anon

warnings: none! peter is kind of Insecure but honestly when is he not

notes: this is a shor(er) and sweet one! it is 1 AM where i am so sorry if I missed some mistakes! im on the verge of collpase <3

taglist: @stranger-names @gooseyhouse @parkersdarling @amourtentiaa @toodles-me-doodles

“I heard a rumor you stopped talking,” You groaned, watching as Peter’s lips went from a blur to a thin line. He slumped over, pouting at you with puppy dog eyes. You just stared back at him, your eyebrows furrowed and shoulders tense. As much as you loved Peter, he could be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

“Peter, look, I know you’re bored, but Hank really needs this motor fixed and I promised him it would be done by tomorrow. I need to work, but I can’t focus with you here, dollface, you know that,” You attempt to cheer him up, but he’s still looking upset. “The minute this essay is complete you’ll have me all to yourself, no distractions. My one-hundred percent, undivided attention,”

“How long will that take?” The rumor had worn off, but you didn’t mind. Peter looked at you, and the slight feeling of regret washed over you. He was just bored, and probably a little lonely. To be completely honest, this project would probably take you the rest of the day to complete, and probably the better part of tomorrow. It was a complicated motor, and even though you’re quite handy, this type of project is always a challenge.

“The rest of today… probably a few hours tomorrow--” Peter sighed dejectedly and rested his chin on his arm. Disappointment was written across his face, and it seemed as if he was trying to hide it, albeit poorly. He understands that the work that you and Hank do is important, and he realizes that sometimes he can be a little overbearing, but lately you’ve been so busy he almost never gets to see you.

“Can’t you just rumor Hank into forgetting about the motor for today?” Oh, you’ve definitely considered it. You take Peter’s face in your hands.

“You know I can’t, Peter,” He leans into your touch. It’s adorable. “It’s a violation of the trust and boundaries we established. Plus, he’ll probably get pissed at me and rip me in half,”

“He’d have to go through me, first,” Peter laughed softly. There’s something eating away at him, the gnawing feeling of worry tearing at his stomach.

Peter Maximoff isn’t an idiot. He hears the whispers in the hallways, he sees the way the students look at him when he’s with you. They all think you can do better. They’ve all placed bets to see how long you last before you kick him to the curb. You’d think being a hero would make him more popular, but no. Peter Maximoff is just as much of a loser now as he was in high school, X-Men be damned.

So, yeah, Peter Maximoff isn’t an idiot, but he is a loser. He’s a loser in a mansion surrounded by people who aren’t losers-- more specifically, your socially anxious lab partner. Everyone expected you and Hank to eventually end up together; you were both science nerds, you both enjoyed relatively isolated events, and you both moved at the same pace. That’s probably why the entire mansion was shocked to its core when Peter wound up being your boyfriend. Of course, he loves you with everything he’s got, but there’s always that feeling of doubt settled over him. It was too much, it was all too much and he needed to get away.

“Whatcha’ thinking about, gorgeous?” Peter got so lost in thought, he forgot about the situation at hand.

“I-- ” He sounded uneasy. This is how everything unravels-- he gets too honest and scares you off. Peter didn’t pay attention in history class, but he’s pretty sure Rome fell because some old guy was insecure and drove his girlfriend away. “I just, uh, don’t really want to be alone right now.” Peter thought he sounded pathetic. You thought he sounded sweet.

You looked down at the motor on your desk, the tiny screws and mechanical components jumping out at you like your desk was a pop-art installation. With a smile and a shrug, you pushed away the bits and pieces and stood up, pulling Peter up with you.

“Hank is just gonna have to suck it up and wait another day,” Peter grins as you pull him close. You collapse on your bed, and Peter quickly gets comfortable beside you. His head is resting against your shoulder, and his long arms are locked around you. He plays with your fingers, examining every mark and every scar with the focus of a brain surgeon going into work. Sometimes you wondered if Peter was just trying to memorize every single feature and every little detail that you had. He was.

“Y’know, your mutation is so cool,” Peter muses. You press a light kiss of his temple. “You can literally get anything you want. You could get anyone to do anything for you at any given moment. Everyone in the world is like a video game character to you; all you have to do is give a command and we follow it,”

“I guess it’s alright,” You shrug.

“It’s amazing.” Peter’s fingers are drumming against your arms at an impossible speed, but you don’t mind. “You’re amazing.”

“You’re pretty cool, too,” The drumming comes to a sudden stop. The gentle rhythm of Peter’s breathing falters as well.

“Eh,” He mumbles. “Compared to everyone else, I’m pretty lame. Compared to you? I’m nothing more than a speck of dust in the galaxy that is you.”

“Aw, Peter, you don’t give yourself enough credit,” It makes you sad to hear him say negative things about himself, but that’s part of building confidence. Sometimes you just need to be proven wrong.

“Remember when you saved the entire mansion when Cerebro exploded? Or that time you kicked ass on that space mission we went on? If I tried to rumor you into being cool, nothing would happen because you’re already pretty amazing.”

“You really think so?” Peter looks up at you, and something about the look in his eyes makes you want to hold him close and never let him go.

“I know so.” For now, that was enough.

“Y’know, I heard a rumor that you loved me.” Peter jokes, glancing up at you. You look right back at him.

“That’s a beautiful rumor,” A smile grows on your face. Your companion seems content with that. “Funnily enough, I heard the same one about you.”

“Rumors travel on the devil’s radio,” Peter giggles. You wish you could put his laugh on a CD and keep it forever.

“Who knew the devil was such a romantic?”

#peter maximoff #peter maximoff x reader #wandavision #xmen #quicksilver #quicksilver x reader

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lostgirlrewatch · 4 years

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1x07 - ArachnoFaebia

Written by: Emily Andras

Directed by: John Fawcett

Original Air Date: October 31, 2010

In which I claim to have nothing to say about this episode but spend a long time ranting about Lauren and Dyson’s pettiness and other things anyway.

Bo and Kenzi begin to have their first little squabbles as roommates. Then a supernatural giant spider gets unleashed in their house, bites them, and turns them into paranoid homicidal maniacs. The house is quarantined so they can’t get out, and their only choices are kill the spider and free themselves from its spell or die in a fire, if they don’t kill each other first.

“It sounds like whispering kids or giggling elves. Did you bring elves home last night? I’m not judging, I just want to know.”

ArachnoFaebia. Don’t have much to say about this one.

I feel like I should, though. I mean, Emily Andras wrote it, and I usually like her episodes. (Except when I REALLY don’t, but we won’t get to the episode I’m thinking of until Season 3.) Plus, it’s about Bo and Kenzi, which is what I am here for. Eh. It’s a perfectly fine and entertaining episode.

Fuck Pete, Kenzi! Fuck Pete!

Ah, not cool on the cock block, Bo.

“I wish I had man slaves who did whatever I want.” Me too, Kenzi.

Bo and Kenzi have their first “fight,” which is really more of a catty little banter than anything.

Oh, wait. I definitely missed this line the first couple of times I watched this show a million years ago. The setup: Bo compares the two of them to “real life sisters,” which is cute. A few lines later, she says, “Hey, I’m picky, not psychotic.” Kenzi replies under her breath, “Family is always psychotic.” She kind of mumbles it so it’s hard to hear, but I love this. It’s touching, obviously, that she admits to herself out loud that she considers Bo her family. And, of course, it’s another dig at the biological family we have yet to meet or learn about.

This scene at the beginning with Ksenia Solo playing Kenzi playing an exorcist is great.

I really love the Bo, Kenzi, Dyson, and Hale dynamic. They have good chemistry. It’s a fun foursome. Not just as two pairs of best friends plus two pairs of love interests, but as all four of them together. They seem like they’d have a good time hanging out. Bo and Kenzi are like the quintessential lady BFFs, with Dyson and Hale as a dude BFF counterpart.

Bo, oblivious as hell, tries to sit down with Lauren and Dyson and have a genuine friendly heart-to-heart. Being as Lauren and Dyson fucking hate each other, this works out very poorly. Dyson and Lauren spit some nasty words back and forth at each other, all of this stemming from little to no provocation. It’s just the sight of the other sitting next to Bo that raises their hackles, and it takes nothing to have them at each other’s throats. Considering that from where I’m sitting, which is not particularly invested in either pairing, they haven’t known Bo that relatively long, their jealousy seems a bit extreme.

Surprisingly, Lauren doesn’t really take the first shot at Dyson, other than a passive aggressive comment about him not returning her calls, which is no doubt deserved. Dyson, prickled at the reminder and at her presence, resorts to racism. For the cheapest possible digs, of course. How flattering of you, Dyson.

Love when we get to see and hear more Hale. Like this scene where he calls out Kenzi for being jealous of Bo’s ability to seduce anyone. When he’s not fronting as a hyper-horny dudebro, Hale tends to be one of the more coy and observant characters, and I’ve always found him to be both fun to watch and criminally underutilized. But boy, will we get to that later.

In the scene where Bo goes to get a check-up with Lauren at the Light Fae hospital, Bo admits that she was insensitive when she briefly tried to get Lauren and Dyson to hang out at the Dal. I am a bit impressed and proud of her that she is at least aware of it and owning up to it.

Kenzi and Lauren make-out hallucination weird as fuck, no other comment.

Dyson looks nice in this suit. That’s all I wanted to say.

I’m not gonna lie, if Lauren wasn’t a lesbian, I’d be tempted to ship Wolfpants, y’all.

While not as quite as unflattering as Dyson taking cheap shots at her humanity and literal slavery, this bit where Lauren sends him a little nasty, “And we’re close. She knows she can talk to me,” is also kind of unflattering. She looks him dead in the eyes and wants him to know that she and Bo have a deeper bond than Bo has with him (supposedly). Pretty nasty. I guess he deserves it, though, after his douchebaggery at the bar. Dyson fires back with a pretty sick burn by reminding Lauren that he and Bo are, in fact, still fucking. Dyson and Lauren just constantly engage in petty dick-waving in every scene they are in together. Strap in, because this won’t change any time soon.

So why do the “infected” have to be exterminated along with the spider? Is it contagious? I thought people are only infected if they’re bitten? Just get them out of there and burn the place down with the spider in it. Pretty cold of Lauren and Trick to just be like, “Oh well, fuck Bo and Kenzi and Hale, then,” and be prepared to sacrifice them if they can’t figure out how to kill the thing in the next hour or whatever.

What Bo does to Hale when he’s tied up is gross. And, uh, what’s the word. Problematic.

Talking about this in depth is going to open up a whole can of worms, and it probably deserves its own post, but it’s worth briefly acknowledging here what we already consciously or subconsciously know. Which is that a lot of the time, when Bo feeds on or uses her succubus powers on someone, either without them knowing or against their will, it scans as a dubiously consensual sexual encounter at best. In situations like the one with Hale, it reads as straight up non-con, or worse.

But being as that’s the nature of what a succubus is, that’s a given. What matters is how the narrative treats it. Is it treated well in this episode? Not really. Bo was supernaturally brainwashed at the time so it’s not like it was really her doing it, but it kinda bothers me that she defends her feeding on him as, “I did what I had to do,” and at the end of the episode, Hale begs Kenzi not to tell Dyson that “[he] kissed Bo,” as if he had any agency in the matter. I never really thought about this when I first watched the show in high school, so it didn’t bother me. Watching it now, it makes me uncomfortable.

The main character is a succubus, and at the end of the day this show is all good edgy campy sexy supernatural fun, and it's not that deep. Really, it's not. But her being a succubus can sometimes make for a tricky sea to navigate. One of Michelle Lovretta’s main goals was sex positivity, and I think the show succeeds at that in regards to its consensual adult sexual relationships. As to how much or whether dubious consent scenarios muddy up that message, not really sure how I feel yet.

“You’d pick me over Bo, right, Hale? You’re on my side?” Hmmm. I sense shades of a burgeoning intimacy here.

KC Collins playing Hale as a psychopath is pretty scary.

This one-off character is cool and seems interesting. It’s a shame we don’t see more of her.

Bo’s one brain cell not understanding science is really cute.

Dyson tells Lauren that he doesn’t trust her motives. She’s “inconsistent.” And it’s true. She is. He admits to not understanding why Lauren would callously call a strike on Bo but then turn around and kill a man to save her. And to be honest, at this point, I don’t either. Something about Lauren is shifty and Dyson is right to pick up on it. Lauren’s response, “…this time I was Bo’s hero,” is unnecessary and kinda toxic but whatever.

Next up, we have episode 1x08, which was the original pilot. They wrote it, shot it, and showed it to the network in order to pitch the show. Obviously, it sold. Which makes the episode’s distinctively darker tone as compared to the rest of the season quite interesting.

#lost girl #bo dennis #kenzi malikov #lauren lewis #bo and kenzi #lost girl rewatch #doccubus #kale #i'm just gonna start tagging kenzi and hale as kale #dybo #1x07

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bcdrawsandwrites · 5 years

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Next entry for @badthingshappenbingo!

I AM NO LONGER ACCEPTING PROMPTS! The single-bone marks on the card indicate which prompts I have received and am going to write, and I finally have prompts that will earn me a bingo once they’ve been written. (But they’re not written yet!)

This fic has also been posted to FFN and AO3, so you can check it out on my Assortment of Broken Bones collection on there if you like!

This one is for @mysteryfilmcatcher ! Uh... if they still exist? Hope you enjoy, if you’re still around! \o/;;

Prompt: Doesn’t Realize They’ve Been Injured Characters: Héctor and Victoria, post-movie, pre-epilogue

---~~~---

"What is this?! You call this a men's size fourteen?!"

"Sí, I do, señor."

"This isn't right! What do I look like, a clown?"

She spoke quickly. "No, señor, you don't have the nose for it."

Though she swore she heard a faint chuckle, in actuality, the joke seemed to have gone over his head. "I thought not! So why would you give me shoes this size?"

"Because when we measured your feet when you came in two weeks ago, that was the size we measured."

"This is not the right—"

"Did you try them on, señor?"

The man sputtered. "What kind of idiot do you take me for?"

"So you have tried them on, and they don't fit?"

"W-well, no, I… um." Grumbling, the man pulled the shoes off the counter, and stooped down to swap his old shoes with the new ones. Victoria could not see him, but she knew what his expression must have been when he very suddenly stopped grumbling. After a moment, the man rose to his feet again. "W-well the point is, it's wrong, but I don't have time to argue."

That said, he spun around and walked away with his new, perfectly-fitted Rivera shoes.

With a huff, Victoria plucked the paperwork off the counter and stepped away to file it. Honestly, she couldn't believe some of these customers—Rivera shoes always fit. They were known for it.

She glanced at the clock; they always closed at noon on Saturdays, and now it was only a few minutes to; it wouldn't hurt to start to close up early. She made a quick tally of the cash drawer, looked over the counter to make sure it was clear (as though anything needed straightening when she manned the counter), and double-checked the boxes for Monday's orders.

As she locked the doors and turned off the lights, she thought about how nice it would be to spend the afternoon by herself—a nice bit of quiet time after a morning of working here and dealing with all these terrible—

CRASH—BANG!

Automatically snatching a nearby hammer off a workbench, Victoria spun around, searching for the source of the noise. She could hear the sound of faint moaning somewhere, indicating that she wasn't alone. It was harder to see in the darkened workshop with the windows and doors shut, but the light shone through the cracks enough for her to find her way around, and she managed to spot where a sewing machine had been knocked off of the counter… along with several other objects she couldn't identify in the dark. Frowning, but keeping her hammer steady, she leaned down to pick up one of the objects, only to be startled at the feeling of bone.

"AY! Careful!" a familiar voice cried, and Victoria jumped back initially, only to roll her eyes when she recognized whom the voice belonged to. This had hardly been the first time he’d caused trouble since they’d taken him in a month ago.

The bone sprang from her hands as a skeleton assembled himself in front of her before leaning against the counter. He plucked his shabby straw hat off of the ground and set it back on his head. "Uh… hola, Victoria!" Héctor said, waving a hand and probably giving a stupid-looking grin.

"Where did you come from?" Victoria asked, crossing her arms and glaring, though she knew he could barely see it. "I don't think Mamá Imelda would like you sneaking around here."

"Eh, I wasn't sneaking exactly… I was just… hanging out?" In the dim light, she could see him hold up one finger.

It took her a second to realize he was pointing upward, and she stared at him deadpan. "You were sitting up there."

"Sí."

"In the rafters."

"¿Sí…?"

"Why?"

"I just… wanted someplace quiet to write, so I thought I'd, um… take a seat up there, out of the way," he admitted. "I enjoyed your company, by the way. You handled those customers quite well!"

Victoria frowned, walking past him to pick up the heavy sewing machine and set it back on its workbench. "Of course I did. I've been in this business since I was a child. Did you think I handled them poorly before?"

That caught him off guard, and he faltered. "Wait, wait, no, that's not what I was… I mean—I just mean to say that you do your job well?"

She kept her glare fixed on him. His behavior brought to mind the foolish boys of Santa Cecilia who would try to win her affection with shallow praise; even now she still felt the annoyance burning in her chest at the memory. The only difference here was that Héctor sought platonic affection. In either case, it would not work. "I should hope so," she said coldly, and turned around. "I don't plan to spend the rest of my day in a pitch dark workshop, but you're welcome to stay here if you like, so long as you lock the door behind you."

With that, she made her way to the back door—

Clatter!

Rolling her eyes, Victoria turned around to find that the man had fallen over, again, though this time he clearly hadn't tumbled from the rafters. "Now what is it?"

"Ah, I, uh…" Héctor grunted as he pushed himself up on his hands, turning back toward his left side. "I… think I hit my leg on something when I fell."

Victoria stared at him for a moment before recalling the sewing machine that had been knocked to the floor, and shuddered. "How did you not notice before?"

Managing to get back to his feet, Héctor leaned heavily against the counter again. "Well, that leg usually always hurts, so it's a little hard to tell sometimes when it gets messed up again." He shrugged. "Not the end of the world."

After switching the light back on, Victoria took a few steps closer to Héctor, adjusting her glasses to get a better look at the damage. His leg was bandaged with what appeared to be very old leather, so it was hard to tell if anything was different. But given he was starting to be remembered again in the living world, it must have started healing again, and the fall had disrupted that. "I see," she said, stepping back. "Are you all right?"

She'd asked it without thinking, and mentally smacked herself. Of course she wasn't cold—anyone with half a heart would ask a question like that—but knowing Héctor, he would cling to whatever scrap of affection he could.

To her surprise, he gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'll be fine," he said, carefully leaning away from the counter. "This leg's been broken for several decades now—a little crack isn't going to make much of a difference." With that, he began limping toward the door.

Victoria watched him, but it wasn't really him she was looking at.

She saw her abuela as she was in life, marching into the workshop as though her joints weren't stiff and worn down, as though her heart wasn't bad, as though she hadn't just pulled an extra three hour shift the night before to correct an accounting problem.

Not only that… she saw herself sitting at her workbench, suppressing another cough, fighting to hide yet another dizzy spell, pretending her entire body wasn't aching and freezing with illness.

Shaking her head, she strode past Héctor and shut off the light, waiting at the open door. His limp was more pronounced than it had been that morning, and he was moving slower than he usually did. Victoria tapped her foot.

"I haven't got all day," she said, facing him again. Ignoring his apologetic look, she strode up to his left side, lifted his arm around her shoulders, and helped him take some of the weight off of his bad leg. The feeling of having his arm around her made her tense and uncomfortable, but it was better than having to wait for him to drag himself back to the house.

Héctor stared at her in shock before a genuine smile crossed his face. "Gracias."

"Don't thank me," she grunted, helping him out of the workshop and locking the door behind her. "You would've taken an age to get out of there and forgotten to lock the door behind you, and I don't want someone breaking into the workshop."

Héctor was still smiling. "Of course, mija."

A jolt ran through her, and she grit her teeth for a moment. "I've seen you walk with a bad leg before. I know you can pick up the pace, Héctor."

Finally his smile dropped, and he nodded. "Sí, Victoria."

It didn't make her feel much better, and she swallowed down her frustration as they approached the house. "Just… be careful next time."

He nodded, and she helped him inside the house and into the living room. As he eased himself into a chair, she made to leave, but stopped, feeling like she should say something more. She turned back to him. "And Héctor…"

He looked up, hopeful. "¿Sí?"

"Por favor, don't sit in the rafters of the workshop ever again."

"Heh… of course, Victoria."

#hector rivera #victoria rivera #coco #pixar coco #coco spoilers #rivera family #my writing #fanfic #bad things happen bingo #mysteryfilmcatcher #WHOOPS fixing the label on it

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spikeisawesome456 · 5 years

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So... I decided to do all of these asks, because I was bored. :-D

Obscure Asks.

1. what’s your favorite way to dress? Uhh… Comfortably. I tend to just wear yoga pants, graphic t-shirts, and a Dipper hat.

2. if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? Ohhh… I both want to say lots of things, and nothing. Because on one hand, there are things about me that annoy me (I overshare, I sometimes get insanely hyper, like now, I can be really mean/rude, etc.…), but on the other hand, I do enjoy who I am. For all my faults, I am proud of the person I’ve become, and the person I’m still becoming. Maybe I’d make my memory better, so I could really utilize my intelligence, and stop forgetting people’s names because it’s starting to get really rude.

3. what movie/game/etc. helps you calm down? Eh… I like to play Stardew Valley, but it doesn’t help me calm down. I play it when I’m calm. It actually used to stress me out… probably not a good example. Uh… Nothing, I guess. Music helps. Sometimes. Basically, when I’m stressed, the only thing that can help is solving the problem or ignoring the problem. And if I can’t ignore it, I just… get stressed. Hugging my mom sometimes helps.

4. what does your room smell like? Like… a room? It smells okay? It recently smells like Maple Cinnamon Pancakes, because I got a Maple Cinnamon Pancake candle from Bath and Body Works, so… yeah?

5. do you like to organize? Ehh… Like to, yes. Do I do it? Noooo….

6. what kind of music would you listen to if you could only choose one? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Why Would You Ask Me This???????????? Also I’m assuming this means genre. But… Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

7. what song is your aesthetic? Um… I don’t really know my Aesthetic? I’m a bit all over the place. Girly, tom boy, shiny, glittery, matte…. Fast, slow, everything in between and outside. If you know of a song like that, then that’s me! Otherwise… Eh.

8. what color do you think goes best with your personality? Uh… No idea. I like blue, though. I’m not that calm a person, though. Well, sometimes, but not always. Well, it depends on what you mean by calm. So… Probably purple, a mix between loud red/orange and cool blue.

9. do you believe in auras? Not… really? A little? Like, we each have our own personal feel, and energy. Like, in a psychological way. But in the color way? Not really. Can people feel other’s energy better than others? Sure! But that’s just a hyper awareness of self and other, not a “six sense,” or whatever.

10. what do you wish you hated, but actually like? I don’t wish to hate anything.

11. vague about your crush(es) I… don’t have any. I decided a long time ago that crushes were stupid, after I ruined a good friendship with my weird crush. Plus, I don’t spend enough time around people to develop crushes.

12. is there someone you have mixed feelings towards? Not… really? Some of my old professors, maybe. My Abnormal Psychology professor was nice, sometimes, but could say such mean things at times about people with mental illness.

13. talk about an au or story you came up with Oh! I made up a story about a man who has two sons (though I changed it so one child, the elder, was a daughter in the last edit, so…) who sold his soul to keep them safe and happy, after he lost all his money when his business partner skipped town and left his embezzlement charges with the man. The man didn’t get sent to jail, since the small town had pity on him, but he did lose all his money, meaning his eldest, now a daughter, had to steal. Hating that, he made a deal with the devil. 2 years later, the devil (who isn’t evil, but more like the Jewish idea of the devil, who is a temptation) comes knocking and the man learns that instead of taking his soul, since the devil would get it at his death regardless (in order to make a deal with the devil you had to commit the greatest sin, murder, thus tainting your soul), the devil took the thing you loved most. For selfish men, it would be their fame and money. For lustful men, it would be their object of affection. For the man, who had made the deal for selfless reasons, it was his children, whom he loved more than anything.

The plot would have gone into the man trying to escape the devil, who graciously gave him a week to prepare, but I didn’t know how to write it, and it’s kind of been in my notes on my iPod for years. It would have ended with the devil catching up to the family, with the man finally begging the devil to let his children live, that it wasn’t their fault. And the devil would have smiled, sweetly, before killing the children while the man watched. As the devil turned away, the man would have brokenly asked why? Why he couldn’t have left them alone? And the devil would have chuckled sadly and said that it was what had always been planned. That the entire chase had been futile from the very first moment. The devil had sympathy for the man, but he couldn’t go against the orders of God (my version of the devil is kinder, more sympathetic to the plights of humans, since I view the “devil” not as an enemy, but as, I previously mentioned, a temptation. He tempts people, on God’s orders, but doesn’t have any true animosity towards humanity. He just follows orders). Finally, the man begs the devil to kill him, to end his suffering, that even an eternity in Hell would be better than living knowing he killed his children. And then, I’m split on the ending. In the dream that inspired this story, the devil smiles wickedly and says, “I thought you’d never ask,” before bashing the man (me, in the dream) over the head with a bat, since in the dream the devil was eviler. But I think it’s more poignant to let the devil laugh softly again, turn, and say “Oh, my dear man. That’s the whole point,” before walking away/disappearing.

Anyway, that was my main story idea. I really like it, and wrote about 20,000 words for it, but got stuck on the middle part. I wanted to add an old friend of the man’s, who became an alcoholic following the death of one of their old friends. The friend group fell apart after the man left for plot reasons, which I don’t have time to explain, and it grew worse until one of their friends died, and the whole friend group fell apart and she became an alcoholic. However, I wasn’t sure if this subplot took away from the whole plot, and I felt it was written poorly, so I kind of gave up. Plus, I had no idea what obstacles the devil could put in their way, since I don’t know religion. Though… I am currently taking a bible course in college, so maybe I’ll revisit the story. If anyone wants to read what I have, send me a message. :-)

14. do you like makeup? Eh… Depends. I sometimes like it. Also, after writing about my whole story, going back to these questions just feel weird. Eh.

15. do you prefer space or the ocean? I like the ocean, since I can see it more often. Though, I love looking at the stars when I can. I just live in a city with tons of light pollution and can’t ever see the stars.

16. if you could pick any planet besides earth, where would you live? ????? What other planets could I live on??? I don’t know any real planets that have life on them, and none of the 7 others we have interest me much. Or is this fictional? In which case… I don’t know?

17. what form of government do you like the most? (capitalism, socialism, etc.) Um… this took a dark turn. “Hey, what’s your favorite color??” “Do you like makeup??? :-D” “What is your political preference, you capitalist/commie scum???” This question just feels like a trap the cops laid in the middle of a silly, fun little quiz.

18. what animal would you keep as a pet, if you could? I’d keep a cat, but I’m allergic. And a little afraid. Also, I think this means like, wild animal, or mythical creature, but I wouldn’t want to keep a wild animal captive, even if I could. Same with mythical creature.

19. what do you think our purpose is in the universe? To do our best and to enjoy the life we’ve been given. This relates to the next question, but I believe that if there is a God, they’d want us to enjoy life.

20. do you believe in god(s)? Continuing from the last question, yes and no. I believe in a higher power, since I don’t see how the entire universe and life can just be random, but I don’t really believe in “God” or “gods” as humans have imagined them, as helpful or destructive forces that meddle with humanity. I believe they would be a high creature, humans unable to sense them since we don’t have the body parts available to “see” them. There would likely be multiple higher beings, but it is possible one is in charge of earth, to look over us. Though, no miracle granting or listening in, since they probably aren’t on the same timeline we are, or an entire generation to us is a second to them. The afterlife is tricky, which is why I’m so terrified to die, so I won’t go into it. But, long story short, yes. I do believe in a sort of “God.” What they mean to earth, what they want with us, I don’t know. But I do believe something created the universe, and watches over the various planets. Also, I believe that other planets have life, and that aliens may or may not have visited earth, but if they did, we might not have known, since, like with “God,” we don’t have the appendages or body parts available to “see” them. I mean, if we didn’t have eyes or ears, we’d never know what we were missing. Who knows what we can’t “see” because we don’t have the right parts?

21. is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it? Ehh…. Nothing, really. But, there was a P!nk song I had to turn off halfway through. Not because I hated it, but because it reminded me of my family too much it hurt. I didn’t really like the song, but it was okay. I think it was called Family Portrait? Update, I looked it up, and yes, it is called Family Portrait, by P!nk. It’s not completely similar to my family, but it’s close enough that it just… hurt.

22. what ex do you miss the most, if you have one? If you never date, you can never have an ex you miss the most. *Insert guy tapping his forehead meme here*

23. do you like soft, fluffy blankets or rough/smooth blankets? Soft ones. Who… who likes rough blankets??? What??? I mean, I prefer smoother ones, I guess, to super fluffy. But rough? Really??

24. what is your favorite thing to learn about? Psychology!!! I love it!

25. what country’s history do you find the most interesting? Um… I don’t really like history. I’m taking a history class, though, and I liked Islam’s history. No one country, but the history of the Middle East and Islam.

26. what do you think about genderbent ____ (insert someone here) I think this is one where you had to send in a question for. So, feel free to ask me about any genderbend you like, but warning: I tend not to like genderbent characters. I just think it’s weird, and pointless. Especially if you genderbend a character to make a gay ship straight. Like… dude. Or, vice versa, to make a straight ship gay. It’s just… unnecessary. Make new characters or find a different ship.

27. what breakup was the hardest, if you had one? *insert answer from question 22, but exchange “Ex you miss the most” for “hardest breakup”

28. do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend? Not really. Going back to question 11, I don’t spend enough time around people to really know. But, as I have weird understandings of friendship and love, as well as a deep loneliness that makes me emotionally invested in anyone who is even slightly a friend, this sort of happens all the time. I just want to be less lonely, usually. I’m just… bad at people. I tend not to like them, and they bore me, yet I long to be around people and have friends. So. Lots of contradictions.

29. what do you think about Tumblr discourse? Eh. I think most of it is stupid. Just… chill. The world sucks, it’s best just to do things you enjoy, don’t sweat the small stuff. Even the big stuff. If there’s nothing you can do, just… move on. Live with it, and live your life. Don’t yell at random people, even If they’re “terrible.” Nothing is black and white, and as soon as you start attacking others because of your opinion, you’re becoming a person in the wrong, even if your view is virtuous. No one is right. No one is wrong. It’s just a matter of opinion. Now, does that mean you shouldn’t argue your point? No! Your view is valid and if it matters to you, express it. But don’t hate on another because of it. Or else you lose your virtue, your moral “righteousness.” Sorry, this went in a wrong direction. But… yeah.

30. what instrument do you wish you could master? Piano, guitar, and violin. Piano the most, though.

31. how easy is it for you to be honest? Pretty easy? I tend to be honest, most often, because I don’t really see why not. But it’s also easy to tell white lies or to omit truths, if it makes my life easier. So. Eh.

32. do you have any strange interests? Nothing I can really think of? Nothing that other people aren’t interested in. I like collecting coins, but so do many others.

33. do you have any strange fears? Ehh… I’m a bit afraid of animals, but it’s mostly because I’m afraid of them hurting me, which isn’t really strange?? So… again, not really? Most of my fears are common. Maybe my fear of holes? Like, on the skin? But people have that fear, too. And it’s less a fear and more of a disgust.

34. what food do you binge on when you’re lazy? Anything I can, really. I tend not to get super hungry, so I only eat when I’m bored or “lazy”, or when I know people should eat. Also, I dislike calling it lazy, since I think that’s a negative word for a more complicated feeling. For me, at least.

35. when you get angry, how do you show it? I tend to go quiet and seethe. I don’t usually yell, though I will if the other person (my dad usually) is yelling. I prefer leaving the room, though, or else getting all “righteous”. Like, righteous fury, though I’m not always righteous when I get angry.

36. do you have any impulsive movements? (twitches, ticks, flapping, etc.) Dude, yes. I tend to crack my knuckles/twist my hands impulsively/nervously. I also tap/rub my thumb against my fingers, or move my foot. Mostly when I’m “hyper,” or possibly manic. Otherwise, when I’m more down, it’s just the cracking knuckles thing.

37. what do you listen to music on? iPod/Phone, and my computer. I tend not to listen to radio. Sometimes I’ll listen to new music on YouTube, but it’s mostly iTunes/the iPod/phone music app.

38. are you left brained or right brained? Well, we all have both right and left brains, so I am both. Since no one side of the brain can be really more dominant. Unless part of your brain is dead, like my mother’s, who is more right brained, since parts of her left brain died when she was born. But, since I understand what this question is asking, I am, really, both. I’m creative and logical. Shocker.

39. earbuds or headphones? Oh, headphones, every time. I HATE earbuds. They always fall out of my ears. I mean I’ll take them if I have nothing else, but I hate them.

40. do you like light blankets or heavy blankets? Eh…. I tend to have heavy blankets, even though it’s hot where I am, and I need a fan to keep me cool. So. Yeah.

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the-no-good-moonite · 6 years

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cortana, find “how to remove STD”

So yeah here’s my thoughts on Star Trek Discovery as of the ninth episode:

its ugly, sounds like trash, is terribly badly written and probably smells weird if in a physical format

but allow me to elaborate a bit a lot

the sound and visuals are the smaller problem admittedly; I like plenty of things that looked arse when they were first made and look like double arse now, so if the writing wasn’t so bad I would be willing to accept this as a flaw of the series and concentrate on the rest of it. as it stands...

the music just kind of being “there” is nothing new (see: large chunks of the other series), but it’s still disappointing. the sound design being terrible on top of that? that’s trash. nearly every time a ship opens fire we get minor variations on generic and ill-fitting turbolaser sounds... I mean come the fuck on. you don’t want to be restricted by tradition, go nuts, but if that’s the best you’ve got to offer you shouldn’t have

(I realise that choice is likely a result of a directive from on high and not entirely the sound team’s doing, but it’s still executed poorly)

as for art direction... well, John Eaves is a very poor choice for how much they’re giving to him (most of starfleet it looks like? not sure who’s doing the klingons but what little I can see of them isn’t impressing me either). I don’t hate his stuff outright like some people do, but he’s very “safe” and has exactly one aesthetic that has worn out for me and compares badly to what they’re making it contemporary to here

the art direction in general is quite bad though - there’s so much nebulous shit that glows blue in the same kind of way that it legitimately confuses as to whether or not it is the same thing - and the way it’s all shot is boring and unremarkable at best.

(and oh look, it’s another trek villain who has a colour scheme of mostly metals and neon green. get the fuck out of here)

the... space fight choreography (not sure what else to call it?) is absolutely the worst part though, it’s almost claustrophobic, everything’s jammed together like it happening in a bloody fish tank. the camera has no great desire to give us a clear view of what’s happening, or of any object other than the discovery and the ship of the dead. they almost appear to be going out of their way to avoid giving a clear look at anything else, which makes me think they’re not being given the time or budget to make models that will withstand close examination... which would be expected, but still laughable as ever

the spore drive and all the effects associated with it are ugly as sin and conceptually terrible also; I will accept no dissent on this point

sets and props are kinda “eh”, but i’ve not seen anything overtly wobble, and that’s apparently the only metric that matters so uh, good job there

so! the writing. the horrible, horrible writing.

I’m going to mostly ignore the actual dialog here, because while it is deserving of flak, it’s mostly stock phrases and interactions you’ve seen significantly better or worse versions of. so not a lot to actually say about it. I don’t like much of it and the attempts at humour are pretty lame.

what I take issue with is the overall construction of it... like they’re doing a “maybe the federation isn’t right about how it does things?” kind of thing and im onboard with that, asking questions on if the federation is really what it presents itself as has potential. but they’re not actually asking any specific questions.

and this kind of attitude pervades the whole show; there’s vague noises about stuff - maybe both sides are wrong - or whatever and the odd “aren’t we explorers?” but ultimately the show has little to no opinion on any of it (or doesn’t yet anyway), just making enough of an effort to try and get you to think it does, and then let you fill in the answer you agree with most...

if it sounds like im leading in to a “intellectually hollow centrist liberal” kind of comparison, you fucking bet I am, because that’s pretty much what it feels like to me

I mean I expect someone’s going to try and claim they’re just going for moral ambiguity, but I struggle to think of many actual examples of that in anything, and it DEFINITELY looses any claim to such when you have characters being told that actually no, Their War Crimes Were Entirely Justified and then nobody says any different

(star trek has no substantive claim on moral consistency, but that’s just fucking indefensible, and it shouldn’t be left even slightly ambiguous if Lorca was in the right for saying that. which is kind of a recurring problem with that character, contradictory as that may appear for me to say that right after my previous comment...)

then you’ve got the portrayal of the klingons as man-eating space orks... who are doing a holy war... even if that didn’t conflict horribly with the (for star trek) more complex portrayals of klingons in the past, on it’s own it feels like it’s undermining the claims to progressiveness just a little bit

(well it’s part holy war and part MQGA [Make Qo'noS Great Again] but you know what I mean)

and plotwise now we’re doing... voyager? maybe in the mirror universe? I don’t know. I guess they won’t stick with it for long enough to redo voyager’s worst mistakes but why am I having SG:U flashbacks all of a sudden

funnily enough I actually like SG:U more than discovery, though that may be partly not having watched it since it aired

lost my train of thought here, uh, characters bad?

or some characters bad anyway. I like maybe half of them to some degree actually, despite the dialog and how inconsistent the portrayal of nearly everyone is in between - or within - any episode (another old problem for trek, but it’s really grating with the format here)

there’s plenty to criticise though; i’m really unsure the writers have any clear idea of what Tilly’s “deal” is (only socially awkward? on a spectrum? just “weird”? who can say!) or if Stamets is an asshole or a just good-hearted grump... there’s other things like that. maybe they’ve detailed stuff in interviews, but the show itself is terrible at communicating any clear intent

but Michael and Voq’s fake personality Ash are definitely the worst characters, so i’ll focus on them

I will maintain that Michael’s backstory is rubbish, making her Spock’s secret sister is amazingly unnecessary rubbish. on top of that, we’re told she’s a top of the line member of starfleet which is then immediately undercut by her doing something stupid and reckless that almost gets her killed (after which she then presumably irradiates everything between sickbay and the bridge...) followed by doing something stupid and reckless that gets a lot of people killed and starts a war! this is arguably the most prominent trait of the character

she kind of comes off as a suicidal maniac, is my point. Captain Georgiou is quick to jump to a suicidal option too (and im just gonna say... most prominent asian person in the series to date... suggests a suicide attack...)

does this version of starfleet just not do psych tests until you hit admiral? of the two that have actually done things we’ve had two walk into obvious traps, but one of them seems comparatively well adjusted

anyway, so we’ve got Michael, a pet character of some writer who changes personality every other scene and totally not Voq, we swear and Ash. who is about the most blandly likeable love interest possible, and definitely Voq infiltrating starfleet, how long are they gonna drag this secret cylon constructed memories bullshit out just bloody kill me already and also a survivor of sexual abuse (and torture) with PTSD.

they heavily implied this was the case when they introduced the character, and then in episode 9 it was confirmed explicitly by the character in question... that’s all fine, feels like a bit of a cheap grab so they can be a “mature“ story but let’s see how it plays out... and oh.

they went and showed (what was framed as but aren’t necessarily) the events in question. this is, at best, tasteless and inappropriate

now, i’m not going to say they’re going to handle this in the worst way possible, but what they’ve done so far is making me really fucking uncomfortable! I do not have faith that this will resolve even remotely well

and then there’s the whole thing where his memories are likely 100% manufactured as cover, which has a good chance of giving this whole situation an unpleasant taste all on it’s own

I also really had no need to see these new klingons naked anyway, or any naked klingon really, and in context cable drama nudity is absolutely the worst thing they could’ve copied from game of thrones without thinking about it

anyway, that’s [however many, I don’t want to check] badly formatted and often grammatically incorrect words to say:

The show is bad. You disagree? Ok. I disagree with you. Now nobody is happy. I would prefer to be happy. I am not.

Goodnight.

#star trek #discovery

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piddies0709 · 7 years

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Walking on Glass A little SJ fandom rant

Wow.... How about that new episode of Samurai Jack? Pretty trippy right? I mean, that part where he eats something and his head turns into a fish. Like how dose that work exactly? Pretty funny, huh? Heh...heh...heh... Where do I begin? So happen was, last night was the premiere of the new Samurai Jack season 5 episode 8, in which Jack and Ashi are making their way across the desert. Hmm... Why dose this sound familiar? Anyway, during their ride on a giant camel monster used as a bus, Jack and Ashi find themselves in a pretty close to each other and it is that this point where they're relationship takes quite a turn. During their journey, they come across a large spaceship to escape a dust storm. Only to find out that the ship is still infested by a leach monster. After they finally defeat it, at the heat of the moment Jack and Ashi then make out and that when the “fans” starting setting fire to their insides.

I said I was gonna get back to the messy subject and the hail storm of raging “fans” that apparently this episode has brought upon. After reading through a number of these hissy-fit heated debates, I couldn't help but laugh at a few, roll my eyes at most and have the rest cause me to put my hands in my face. Seriously, all it took was a kiss and some awkward but sweet bonding moments for people to get up in arms saying crap like “They ruined the show!” “How could you Genndy?” “The show's gone downhill.” And those are just some of the less visceral comments I've seen.... It really makes me sad. It really makes me sad to see a show I loved as a kid, get second chance at finishing it's story and the one tiny moment that wasn't even remotely negative in any way, would then cause such a shit storm, that I have to sit back and wonder why did I have to be born as a human being... Oh am I sounding bit harsh here? *eh-hem* I suppose some would prefer it if I went back to my dark little corner of the internet and remain silent like I usually do. Heck No! I feel I should be aloud to express my own opinion, while setting somethings straight. (Pun not intended.) Now, I will not be completely demonizing people who are against this ship, because some do have a few valid points as to why they don't like it or this episode and thats understandable. I'm not saying you have to like it. Again it's all matter of choice and opinion. (get use to hearing that.) But! What I am irritated by is how people are practicality screaming out things like “Pedophile” “Forced” “Rushed” “Poorly Written” “Not gay equals bad” “Boy-cot” and other things that are just... Really really stupid... So I may has well give you guys my own two cents here. I don't expect to change any minds here; just take what I say with a grain of salt. You have plenty of it, anyway...

“Jack and Ashi should have been platonic. Like father and daughter.”

The moment I was first introduced to Ashi in episode 1, I knew she was going to play some important roll in the new season. I knew she was going to be some kind of ally to Jack. She wasn't a mindless drown like her sisters. She was curious about the world. Now keep in mind, from the beginning, I wasn't automatically shipping these two. I knew a bond was gonna form between them eventually, but I really didn't know what type of relationship it was gonna be, nor did I care. Yes, it didn't really matter to me, father/daughter, teacher/student, boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever! All I cared about was seeing these two lost souls find happiness in one another. They make a great team already, so no matter which way it was gonna go, I was going to be satisfied either way. Being the gray smudge that I am, I kept an open mind about this. I'm not a big crack shipper anyway. Then again I don't get into ships that much because I know how scary they can be. So thats why I stick with pairings that are canon and that I like. But I'm sure that this might be one of the reasons why people were a upset by this. They were really hoping for that platonic relationship. Sorry, don't know what tell you there. Not everything in a show is gonna go your way. This is what Genndy wanted, but just because you didn't agree with it, doesn't mean you should be flat out calling it bad writing and hate the rest of the series for it! I'll get into the pacing issues later, right now it's time to adress the elephant in the room...

“Jack's too old for Ashi and Ashi's a little girl!”

Yes, time is a BIG issue in this series and I can understand the problem some “fans” are having with the whole age gap thing. Like he should be really old by this point, but heres the thing. Jack doesn't age. He's still stuck in his 20's psychically AND mentally. Yes, I said mentally as well. His mind is worn out but not old. Like Jack said, time has lost it's a effect on him. As for Ashi, I'm almost more than certain that she's in her 20's as well. The real problem shouldn't be the fact that he's older than her. The REAL problem should be the fact that he can't age but she still can. Really, I'm surprised nobody's getting more mad with Aku about this, since, you know? He's the one responsible for this whole issue in the first place. Whats more annoying though, is the fact that this has become the main and almost only reason “fans” have for not liking this pairing! I mean come on! I can go on for why Edward and Bella are a bad couple, not just because he's a hundred years old, but also because despite being a hundred he still goes to high school for some reason, acts like a creep around Bella, calls her his personal brand of heroine (and how much he wants to eat her.) breaks into her room to watch her sleep at night and throws her against the wall. Yet she does absolutely nothing about it and still acts so dependent on him like she can't stand on her own two feet! * hem* Getting a off topic, I should also point out that this is not the first time we've seen a fictional couple where one person is way older than the other. It's been done many times in media. Aragon and Arwen, Rose and Greg, Aang and Katara, Inuyasha and Kagome and nobody bats an eye there. But I know you're probably going make excuses as to why I'm wrong for comparing some these couples to Jack and Ashi. “Uh, but Rose isn't even human! She's a gem and they don't age!” Still doesn't change the fact that she's still thousands of years older than him. What does being a rock- I'm sorry, a Mineral not a rock, have to do with her age? And that can go the same for Arwen and Inuyasha as well. “But-but Aang was frozen in a sphere of ice.” Yeah, keeping him persevered for over a hundred something years thus delaying his ability to age until he was set free and why he's still twelve. Even though technically speaking he was born way before Katara was born. Hell, I could dare say that Jack is in his own sphere of ice. Just not literally. Time and age have stopped round him. Thing is, even with out the fifty year time-skip Jack would still be considered thousands of years old since he comes from feudal era Japan. So no matter what girl he ended up with in this future, he would still be way older than her regardless. The more I hear this excuse brought up, the less water it holds and the more desperate it sounds. Especially when you have no other strong argument to bring, as to why these two shouldn't be together. Oh, and don't even think about calling it pedophilia! Just because we saw Ashi growing up as a child doesn't mean she is one now. I'm pretty certain she's past the teen stage. In fact we even saw what she looked like during that stage. So treating her like she's still a child is kind of insulting, honestly. You're consent miss use of the word, makes me want to strangle myself. Okay I've been ranting about this for too long... Let's- let's get to our next topic.

“ Why does media keep pushing for heterosexual couples? What a bunch of Homophobes!”

*Sssssssiiigggghhh....* I know not everyone who disagrees with this pairing thinks this way, but my God Tumblr... What's with the extremism? I've always tried to be more opened minded about a lot of things. Accept others for who they are and have always said love is a very strange thing. So don't you DARE blindly accuse me as a “homophobe” for what a I'm about to say here... Not everything has to be gay, in order to tell a good love story! There I said it! A good love story is when you can feel the connection between two characters no matter what their sexual preference is. I don't like Ruby and Sapphire just because they're mineral space lesbians, I like them because of how much they care for each other and how they can have fights and make-ups like any other couple and so on and so forth. Thats what makes a good pairing. Also saying it's out of character for Jack to have an attraction to a female because your head-canon tells you he's either ace or homo, is also not true as well. Not saying you still can't have your ace/gay Jack crack ships. You don't have to have canon dictate to you what you can or can't ship. I'm simply saying that Jack has always been attracted to woman in the show. Remember when he got kissed by that girl in the field when he was a kid. He still has fond memories of it. And is it just me or did everyone forgot, Ikra, Josephine, or that creepy flower lady from 'Seasons of Death' happened? Given how nervous he gets around woman he finds attractive and how flustered he gets when seeing Ashi naked, it's clear to me now, that he is definitely not her biological father as well. Now that he's out of his depression, it was only a matter of time before he started falling for Ashi. Why is this anti-hetero/homophobia thing even an argument at all?! Why is it even brought up?

“ But the pacing felt so rushed! How dare they force the love-interest trope down our throats. This came out of nowhere!”

Okay, I'm going to briefly play devil's advocate here. I can get where the rushed pacing argument comes from. But forced? No, put a pin on that last one. We're gonna get back to that later. First I can agree that the pacing felt a bit rushed. (Though this isn't the first time I've enjoyed something with a rushed pace. *cough*9*cough*) Still, keep in mind that the creator was only given ten episodes to work with. So certain things had to be cut out, I'm sure. If they were going make thirteen I'm pretty certain that would have given them more time to further expand on Jack and Ashi's relationship, rather then cramming all the more romanic stuff in it into this episode. However, that doesn't mean that the romance came out of no where. There were some hints dropped here and there since the beginning of episode 3 infact. We got only two more episodes left, so 8 had to be the one to fully confirm how Jack and Ashi are starting to feel for each other. I do feel like there could have been some other things they could have changed in the previous episodes to help further accentuate the relationship a little better in this episode. As far as this season goes, it may not be one of their strongest episodes, but it's not their worst either. I still enjoyed it, romance and all. Honestly I think the real weak point was the conflict of being lost in the ship with the leach creatures. Like where was everyone else, what was the backstory to this space prison. This episode was always going to be about Jack and Ashi falling love no matter what. It's just everything else was going to just feel like a little bit of an after thought. Another complaint I've heard was that this episode felt like “filler” and did nothing to progress the plot of the story. Well, I like to think of this as the calm before the storm. (Irony) You know, a few light-hearted laughs to put us at ease before the shit it's the fan. (At least thats what it was suppose to be...) Though something tells me they're just doing this to break our hearts later... And what lack of plot progression. The plot progression was with Jack and Ashi. With that said, going back to the “forced” bit. As I said before it was hinted at early on, the moment Jack and Ashi started interacting with each other. But I think the problem is because they were hinted at so subtlety, I guess it's kinda easy for most people to miss them. Thing is we don't really know how long it took Jack and Ashi to go from that mounted to that market area or how long it took for them to find that bird. You can use your mind fill in the gaps there. But I feel that to really cover this topic and why I don't find their relationship “forced” I'm going to have to dive in deeper.

Shoot me...

Okay, now I'm going to get into what I think of these two and why I think they work as a pair. Starting off with Jack, he's pretty much been through hell at this point. Losing his home, separated from his family, spends the rest of his childhood training to earn his father's sword, only meets his parents again briefly before he goes off to fight Aku. Only to have the rug pulled out from under him when Aku throws him into the future. For fifty years this man has had to deal with so much pain and suffering. Getting trolled with by Aku, always having something try to kill him, being alone, seeing all the Hell that Aku has raised, suffering from hallucinations and no matter how hard he tries, he can never seem to reach his goal. Ultimately what leads to his depression. The more time passes him by while he remains young, the further and further his goal gets. He has lost all hope. Somewhere during those fifty years, a cult of Aku obsessed women have a ceremony for their High Priestess who's given birth to seven daughters for the soul purpose to kill Samurai Jack. However one of these girls is not like the others. Ashi, does not have the same mind set as her sisters. She's curious about the world outside, wants to see the beauty of nature, but is trapped with in the confides of her abusive mother. Never aloud to play or have fun. Never shown any love or bonding with her family. Forced into training at such a young age and all while being told nothing but lies about the Samurai and what an evil person he is, ruining Aku's “perfect” world. Having never met this man, it only filled Ashi's heart with anger and hate. Now fully grown, training complete, she and her sisters set off to kill Jack. Not knowing what they were getting themselves into. Not realizing that there mother essentially sent them out to die. And thus the journey begins for these two lost souls. Jack struggling to keep moving forward while being haunted by his own negative emotions as well as being hunted down by a shogun of death. Ashi, blinded by hatred towards a man who's done her no wrong, she does not realizes she's fighting for the wrong side. During the search for the Samurai, Ashi and her sisters come across a doe in the forest. That's when the buck shows up. Thinking it's related to Aku, they thing it's come to “devour the weaker one.” What they didn't expect to see was the two deer nuzzling each others noses. This was the first time any of them have seen affection before. Which leaves them so confused, as they were never taught to love but to hate. One of them even says she doesn't like it. I also consider this part foreshadowing. It's is only after he defeats them, does the ball really get rolling. Jack assumes he's killed Ashi like the rest, but the guilt of what he's done continues to eat a way at him. Ashi then wakes up, still hell bent on trying to kill him. She ends up getting restrained by her own chain and it is here, where Jack finally has a chance to see the woman behind the mask. A very troubled woman, who has clearly lost her way like him. Seeing that she is not evil and feeling bad for killing the others, Jack not only lets her live, but goes out of his way to protect her. The real turning point comes when Jack and Ashi escape the goliath monster. Ceasing the opportunity, Ashi slowly starts to creep up on him, while he isn't looking, but just as she's a bout to try and kill him that's when the ladybug appears. This triggers a memory of when she was a child. During her training, she sees a ladybug and lets it land on her hand. Her mother scolds her for this, taking the bug away and killing it in front of her. Going back to reality, that bug flies over to Jack. He rises his hand to it as Ashi watches, wondering what he's about to do. To her surprise, he lets the ladybug go, showing an act of kindness. Causing Ashi to drop her weapon; he's not the monster her mother made him out to be. Through Jack, she learns more about the world, Ashi begins to see the truth as he shows her the beauty of nature and horror that Aku has caused. Ashi does begin to believe him, but the moment that seals the deal is after they save bunch of children from enslavement, Jack freaks out when we thinks they're all dead. He heads off with the Omen (the shogun of death from earlier) to commit suicide and she goes to find him. Thats when she meets some of the people Jack has helped over the years, thats when she fully sees the man he really is. Thinking of her past and all the good Jack has done, this is what inspires her to change her appearance. And it's because of her that Jack was able to regain his hope. She gave him the strength he needed to fight off his own demons. She protected him while he was in deep meditation to find his sword. From an army and her own mother no less. She does not hold any ill will towards him for killing her sisters, as it was out of self defense. It was her mother who sent them out there in the first place. Now that his hope has been restored and is back to being his old self. Now that he gotten to know her and sees how much she has changed for the better, it should come has no surprise that they would start noticing each other in more ways. I mean this is probably the longest anyone has ever traveled with him. So how does any of that sound forced? There was build up. Sorry if you couldn't see it.

Final Thoughts...

Ya know, I find it pathetic that this is the reason people are getting so upset that they want to quit the show when theres only two episodes left to go. And you call yourselves fans... Can't we just wait to see how the out come and then make our criticize afterwards. I'm even more disappointed with the fan-base than I am with the episode because of how everyone is acting like this pairing is such a crime. When this season started I thought this was gonna be fun. But now I'm just left sour over yet another fandom like I was with the “9” fandom. I've seen people literally saying that it made them feel uncomfortable and ruined the WHOLE series for them. Say, you wanna know what makes me feel uncomfortable? Is the more I think about it, the more it disturbs me that anybody will get pissed over a healthy relationship like this one, yet you'll see abusive couples like Harley Quinn and Joker, Fifty Shades of Gray and the of mentioned Twilight get glorified. Am I the only one who sees something wrong there? And after all the shit that Jack and Ashi have been through, wouldn't you want to see them to be happy? Isn't that what many of us wanted? My only concern is now that it's established that Jack and Ashi have deeper feelings for one another, how is the final going to effect them. Are the rumors I keep hearing going to be true? I've always been wanting to know how this series is going to end since I was eight years old and nothing is going to stop me for watching the ending. I don't even care how it's going to end. I don't care if it breaks my heart. At least I will now know and I will accept what ever Genndy has in store. Like I said from the beginning, you're not wrong for disliking or disagreeing with this pairing, I'm not wrong for liking it and thats fine. But don't act like this is such a travesty that it makes you dislike the entire series, don't quite while we're so close to the end. This whole mess has just become childish at this point. But hey, hate me all you want for expressing my opinion. There is nothing you can say to me that hasn't already been said before. Hate never fixes anything. Hate is what got Ashi's sisters killed in the long run. I've been rambling on about this for too long. Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna make some Jashi fan art while I still can. In the mean time enjoy this little quote.

“Believe what you may, but if you open your eyes and let go of the hate. You will see the truth.”

~Jack

#samurai jack #ashi #samurai jack 2017 #sjs5 #sj fandom #rant #jashi #jack x ashi #I'm so going to hell for this...#samurai jack season 5 #samurai jack spoilers #samurai jack season five #I'm done...

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josephstoontown · 7 years

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Holiday Breakdown, Ch. II

Chapter II of "Holiday Breakdown," A Joseph's ToonTown story. (Formerly one-half of the story of the same name.)

So, if it wasn't obvious by how many things I've chopped in-half (or more), I write long stuff. That being said, I decided to chop this previously-22-page thing roughly in-half, too. (Maybe this DeviantArt limit nonsense isn't such a bad thing, after all…)

Word count: 5,515 – Character count: 31,948 Originally written: October ?? - ??, 2016* Slightly revised: January 13th, 2017 Revised further: August 26th, 2017 (* I don't remember... The original post date and the actual writing date are different. Sorry.)

Sometimes, the things people don't want to hear are exactly what they need to hear.

Shinko the Toon Girl and related characters and properties created by and © shinkothetoongirl Winnie Woodpecker, Woody Woodpecker, The Woody Woodpecker Show, and related characters and properties created by and © Walter Lantz Productions The House of Mouse, Mickey Mouse, "Steamboat Willie," and related characters and properties created by and © The Walt Disney Company

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“Hello, again!” she cheerfully said to the fox, waving one glove-covered hand and offering a warm smile. Joseph’s eyes turned toward her, ears flicking at her voice. “Oh. Hello…” he quietly replied. “I thought you went home?” “Oh, I did, but Woody left his keys behind and, well, I couldn’t just leave them there, ‘cause you never know when he might need them so I drove all the way back here to give them back because it would be awful for him to be locked-out of his own apartment, especially tonight of all nights, and I really didn’t want him staying over at my place and uh… umm… am– am I babbling?” she audibly realized. “I feel like I’m babbling…” “Just a little.” The fox’s disposition cracked just a little and he offered a weak smile. “I think it’s kind of cute, though.” Winnie gave a blink of her blue eyes. She wasn’t sure what to expect from the sad fox… but, a compliment certainly wasn’t up there on her list. “Umm… th-thanks?” she nervously laughed. “I, uh…” There was a pause as the bird cleared her throat.

“Are you okay?” she asked, trying to turn the conversation back toward him. “You seem a little sad…” “Are things different in ToonTown, Winnie?” She gave another blink. “Pardon?” Joseph let go of his legs and turned toward the female. “Relationships,” he clarified. “Are they different in ToonTown?” “I don’t… think so?” she answered in a confused tone. “What do you mean, ‘different?’” “Back home, relationships seemed a lot… easier… I mean, I’m not trying to sound brag-y… but, back on Ragnarok, it didn’t seem like the girls minded when I kissed them. Here, though…” “I don’t understand…” Winnie half-lied, despite Woody’s briefing. “What do you mean?” “Well, let’s say for example… what if you and I were getting cozy?” The woodpecker’s eyes widened and she leaned back. Clearly, something about that suggestion had rubbed her the wrong way.

“I-I-I don’t know what kind of girl you think I am, but–” “Relax, relax…” Joseph said with a quiet chuckle and a handwave. “I’m just using you as an example.” Winnie’s brow lowered, her face becoming angry. “E-excuse me?!” “Alright, I worded that poorly. But, here’s where I was going with that: If you and I were more, ya know… close, and what not–” The woodpecker narrowed her eyes… but, she continued to listen. “– what… would be your reaction to me kissing you?” “First of all,” she replied in a stern tone, “I’m very happy with my Woody, thank you!” Joseph couldn’t help but snort at the phrasing she’d used… but, he quickly pretended like he was clearing his throat. “Secondly… if you and I were… ‘close…’” The female paused, a look of irritation on her face. “I wouldn’t let you just kiss me! You’d have to earn my respect… my trust… and, my affection, before I let you get that close to me.” “Fair enough,” the fox said nonchalantly. “But if you had earned my respect, trust, and affection… and, if the mood was right…”

Winnie looked to one side. She was calming down but still seemed more than a little annoyed by Joseph’s suggestion. “If all of that were right… then… then…” She brought her hands to her cheeks, her look becoming somewhat shy. “I… I don’t know. I might pull away and giggle… or… or… maybe kiss you back…” “So what I’m hearing is…” The fox paused. “You probably wouldn’t scream and hide your face, then turn cold on me for the rest of the night. Right?” Winnie turned back toward the fox, her expression back to curious neutrality. “I… um… n-no? I guess not?” “Then, why did Shinko do that?!”

Winnie was once again startled, leaning back as Joseph’s calmness gave way to an almost manic sadness. His ears fell back, his eyes watered over, and he wore a horrible frown on his muzzle. If it hadn’t startled her so badly, it might have been a bit heartbreaking… “I– ah– whu–” was all she could say before Joseph continued, ignoring her confusion. “Why did Shinko freak out then just… just… lose interest, like that?! Was it my breath…? Does she already have a boyfriend?! Or… or, is it because of what Woody said; that I shattered her image of me… and, depressed her with how I did things…?” “I don’t know!” the woodpecker said in a raised voice. “C-calm down!” Joseph’s ears perked and he gave a blink of his crying eyes, blankly staring at her for a moment. And then… he looked away, ears folding and tail drooping.

“I’m sorry, Winnie,” he said with a sigh. “I just… it’s… it’s something that’s been on my mind for months, now… It’s just… it doesn’t make any sense! How does someone go from ‘Oh wow, he’s just as cool as I remember’ to ‘Gods, I hope he leaves me alone’ so quickly?” “I can’t answer that…” she said as she leaned forward, “but, Joseph?” The fox tilted his head and ears perked as Winnie asked him something. “Are you sure she even liked you like that?” “I…” The fox briefly paused before giving a shaky “Y-yeah!” “Are you really sure, though?” “Positive,” he said in a more confident tone. “I mean, at least… I think so?” Winnie tilted her head. “You think so?” “She was the one who made the suggestion of… ya know… trying to have a relationship… after we both kind of… confessed to each other.” “Is that so?” “Yeah! She seemed so sure of it when she curled up against me… softly told me ‘Maybe she’d try it, this time…’” The woodpecker gave a blink, watching the fox start to space-out. He wore a soft smile and an even softer blush as he sat there thinking…

“Try what?” she said, causing him to snap back to reality. “Huh? Oh, uh, sorry.” Joseph rubbed the back of his head and chuckled. “Got a little lost in fond memories…” “Okay? But, what did you mean, ‘Maybe she’d try it this time?’ Try what, exactly?” Joseph blushed again, looking to one side. “Sh… she seemed interested in… ya know… s-starting a… re… relationship.” Winnie gave another blink as Joseph jerked his head back her way. “I tried to talk her out of it! Or… I mean, I wanted to make sure it was something she wanted and… and she said…” Joseph had to pause again as he remembered something else Shinko had said.

“Hey, Winnie…” he said after a second. “I have a question.” The bird tilted her head, blinking her blue eyes yet again as she waited for the question. “What would you consider to be ‘affectionate friends?’” “Uh…” For a moment, Winnie was confused. However, she soon narrowed her eyes at the fox, becoming suspicious of him again. “Where are you going with this, Joseph…?” “Like, if you and I were to become ‘affectionate friends–’” The fox stopped as he noticed the death-glare she was giving him. “Eh… you’re making this explanation harder than it needs to be, Winnie.” He shook his head. “Alright, look. Shinko said our relationship would be, ya know, as ‘affectionate friends.’ So, going by that somewhat-vague description… would you say that giving her a kiss on the lips was a bit more than she was hoping for?” “Yes, I’d say so.” The fox gave a blink. Winnie had answered him so clearly… so quickly… that it had thrown him for a loop. “B… but there’s different levels of affection,” he started to clarify. “And, maybe, her idea of ‘affectionate’ isn’t the same as yours?” The woodpecker crossed her arms and looked down at the fox. “No offense but, you do seem like a presumptuous kind of guy. And, if I’m being honest here… I can’t help but feel like you’ve been kind of backhandedly flirting with me, since I got here… which, if that’s the case, I’d like to say…” Winnie turned her head to one side and gave her arm a rub. “I am a little flattered… but, I’m afraid that I’m not interested.” Joseph scratched the back of his head, a look of confusion coming on his face.

“I… uh…” he started. “The… thought never crossed my mind, to be perfectly honest.” Winnie’s eyebrows rose at the fox’s reply. She seemed genuinely surprised! “I mean, you’re cute and all, absolutely! And, you do have the prettiest blue eyes I’ve seen since I looked into her’s. Plus, I like your skirt. It suits you well!” Suddenly, she wasn’t sure how to react to the sudden pile of compliments… “But, ah… you’re kinda spoken-for. Right?” “R-right…! A-and don’t you forget it, Buster Brown!” she said with renewed confidence. “Which is kind of a shame… I bet you’d be a lot of fun to cuddle with.” Her eyes once again narrowed. The fox was smiling at her again… “You look really soft, warm, and cuddly, is all. Plus, you’re the perfect size, for it!” “Watch it, Joseph…” she warned. The fox gave a nervous chuckle at that. “Just sayin’!

“In any case…” he started again as Winnie relaxed, “I guess I really did screw up, huh?” “Maybe…” she told him. “But, that doesn’t mean it’s forever, Joseph.” The fox tilted his head as he saw the woodpecker offer a reassuring smile. “They say that ‘time heals all wounds…’” He looked down, giving a disgruntled sort of murmur. “They also say that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder…’ so, maybe, after all this time apart…?” “I know what you’re getting at, Winnie… and…” The fox gave a sigh… then softly smiled to the woodpecker. “Maybe, you’re right. Maybe, after this some-odd months apart…” “There’s only one way to find out, bucko!” “‘Bucko?’” Joseph’s ears gave a flick. He then gave a grin as he saw Winnie cover her mouth with both hands. “That sounds like something your boyfriend would say…” “Well, we have been spending a lot of time together, this season…” Winnie gave a sheepish grin. “I suppose it’s possible I may have picked-up one-or-two of his colloquialisms…” “That reminds me…” The fox gestured one of his chocolate brown hands towards Winnie. “What sort of game is ‘Find the Mistletoe?’” “‘F-Find the Mistletoe…?’” The woodpecker gave a nervous laugh. “Wh-what makes you think I’d know anything about that sort of game?” “What sort of game?” Joseph repeated. “What is it?” Once again, Winnie nervously laughed and grinned as she thought to herself… I’m going to kill that woodpecker…

Joseph decided to let the topic drop, given her reaction to the question. A moment later, the two walked to the door together to let Woody know what was going on. As they spotted him in the hallway, they could see that he was talking to someone on a flat, cartoon-ish cell phone.

“Really? That’s great news!” the male bird said before he noticed the two arrived. A second later, his eyes caught their glance and he gave a slight jerk. “Whoops… Gotta go! Happy Holidays, Mir! G’bye!” The woodpecker turned toward the duo and brightly smiled. “Sooo…? How’s my best gal and my fave pal?” “I’m feeling significantly better now,” Joseph replied. “Winnie really knows how to put a smile on my face!” “Issat so?” Woody gave a suspicious look to his roommate. “We talked his problems out,” Winnie reassured as she gave Joseph a dirty look, much to his confusion. “He’s going to try again.” “Great!” the male woodpecker said as he gave Joseph a pat. “So, no more long faces then, ‘Horse Collar?’” Although Winnie gave a giggle, Joseph just continued to look confused. “No more long faces. Winnie helped me figure out where I went wrong… I think… and, well… I’m gonna try and fix it. At some point. Right now, though?” He smiled to the two. “I think I should just focus on writing that Seasons Greetings letter I’ve been trying to write for the last however-many hours… Oh, and Winnie?”

The female woodpecker looked up. When she saw Joseph extend his hand, she happily accepted it, giving it a polite shake and offering a warm smile. “Thanks again for helping me feel better. I’d give you a hug but, well… ya know.” Winnie gave a smirk. “I sure do… Joseph. And, you’re welcome… you silly thing.” “Anyway,” he said after the shake, “back inside I go! Ya comin’, Woody?” “Right behind ya, pal!” “Not so fast there, Mr. Woodpecker!” Joseph paused in the doorway, looking at the two woodpeckers. Winnie had spoken up and held Woody back by the arm. When she shooed the fox inside, though, he obeyed, closing the door behind himself.

“‘Find the Mistletoe,’ huh?” she said, giving a playful smirk and standing cockily with her hands on her hips. All at once, Woody knew he’d made a mistake. “L-listen, babe! I didn’t– i-it’s not like–” Winnie suddenly pressed a gloved digit to his beak, silencing him. Her eyes were half-closed and her smirk had become a grin. Slowly, she stroked her finger down Woody’s chin and back up to the tip of his beak, nudging his head upwards as she pointed directly above them a second later. Woody gave a blink as he noticed something hanging on the hallway ceiling… a small plant with three red pods. He shivered as, in the next moment, he felt his girlfriend lean in and whisper in a warm tone that could melt butter…

“Found it…” –––––

“You two have a really strange relationship, don’t you?” “I could say the same about you ‘n her, pal! I mean, what kinda guy heads over to his girlfriend’s place on Christmas Eve at midnight just to hand-deliver a letter?”

Joseph and Woody were driving through the darkened roads of ToonTown sometime later, heading toward the Disney District together. It was a particularly-chilly night and the streets were strangely devoid of both traffic and pedestrians, everyone likely at Christmas parties and the like.

“Still not my girlfriend,” Joseph said with a sigh. “And, me, obviously.” “Obviously!” The fox gave a groan as he heard the woodpecker laugh. “On th’ bright side,” Woody continued, “at least ya got th’ darn thing written, finally!” “Yeah…” Joseph looked down at the yellow envelope in his hands as Woody continued talking.

“I’m sure she’ll be happy t’ read that you’re still alive ‘n kickin’, though!” “I wonder…” “Oh, now, don’t start that, again!” The woodpecker gave his roommate a nudge. “Just be grateful ya even have someone t’ write nice stuff to!” “I’ll be grateful when I’m out of this car…” “Why?” The woodpecker tilted his head, not taking his eyes off the road. “Whatsa matter?” “Well… it’s a little… small.”

Joseph looked over from the passenger side of Woody’s car. All things considered, he kind of looked like a clown in a clown car, minus the makeup. He was practically curled into a ball, his legs squished between himself and the dashboard, his back hunched over, and his head bent down thanks to the low ceiling. It was fairly uncomfortable, needless to say.

“Well, I didn’t want’cha t’ catch a cold!” was Woody’s reply. “It’s pretty chilly out, tonight!” “Not where I’m sitting…” The fox gave a pant. “It’s pretty darn toasty in here…” “Yeeaaah, sorry…” the bird said with a sheepish grin, his eyes still on the road. “Heat’s been stuck on high since I got into a li’l bump in May! But, hey! Ya could always pop a window if you’re too warm!” “I’d love to… but, the crank is jammed somewhere between my thigh and my tail.” “Oh yeah? Could be worse! At least it’s not–” “Don’t… even go there, woodpecker.” “Would I do that?” Once again, Joseph groaned as Woody gave a laugh. They couldn’t arrive at their destination soon enough, as far as he was concerned…

“We’re here! I think? Can you confirm this location, Captain?”

The fox looked out the windshield later that night. In the distance to his right, he could see the House of Mouse, the focal attraction for the area. It was lit up and decorated for the season and business seemed to be booming, despite it being Christmas Eve. Directly in front of him, however… “This is it. I’m pretty sure…” The two had parked at a large, ten-story apartment complex which, while festively decorated, paled in comparison to the House of Mouse down the road. Even with the Christmas decorations though, Joseph recognized it as Shinko’s place of residence. “Which apartment she live in?” Woody asked as he hopped out the driver’s side. He had to stifle a laugh as Joseph collapsed out the opposite side but was quick to help him up. “Let’s see…” the fox replied. He then began to count the floors, followed by the windows, until he eventually came to a number that made sense.

“That one,” he said as he pointed three windows from the left on the sixth floor. “Well? What are ya waitin’ for?” The woodpecker pulled on his arm, walking toward the entrance to the complex. “Let’s go!” “Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!” the fox protested, pulling back. “What are you doing?” “Aren’t’cha gonna deliver the letter?” Woody gave a confused blink. “That’s what we came here for, isn’t it?” “Well, yes, but…” “But, what?” “How are we even going to get in?” Joseph gestured to the lobby door. “I remember Shinko’s place having a locked lobby… and, we don’t have a key.” “Hmm… you’re right! That is a problem! One that requires a li’l squash-‘n-stretch!”

It was the fox’s turn to blink as he watched Woody pull a gigantic mallet out of nowhere. As he walked toward the door with it, Joseph was prepared to stop him, thinking he was going to smash the doors in. A moment later, however, the bird violently smashed himself against the pavement! “Woody!” the fox said in a startled tone. “Are you alright…?” “Yuuup…!” was the flattened bird’s flat response as he tossed the mallet away. “Just gonna squirm my way under here and–” The moment Woody touched the underside of the door, however, the Christmas lights of the apartment complex violently flickered! At the same time, the pancake-like form of the woodpecker lit up brighter than the 4th of July, hundreds – if not thousands – of volts of electricity surging through his body, causing him to make a number of incoherent, guttural noises and, not-incidentally, re-inflating his ‘toon body back to its original shape.

“Trinity Above, Woody!” Joseph half-shouted, rushing over to his friend. “Are you alright?!” “Sure!” the scorched woodpecker said as he billowed a massive plume of smoke. “No problem…!” A moment later, the blackened bird’s body disintegrated into a pile of dust, his eyes hovering in mid-air for a moment before falling into the pile. The fox gave a sigh, at that… “Oh, geez… Woody, you idiot…”

“What was that noise?!” Joseph’s ears perked and his eyes caught sight of a bright light from the inside of the building. Someone on the first floor was heading their way! The fox looked between the lobby door and his friend’s ashes. If breaking-and-entering was as much of a crime in ToonTown was it was back home, they were in a mess of trouble!

“Crap, crap, crap…!” he quietly exclaimed as he tried to figure out a way to pick his friend up. Thinking quickly, he ran over to Woody’s car, popped the trunk, and started looking around. As if by-magic, two of the first things he found there were a dustpan and a broom. It didn’t take him long to sweep his ‘toon friend’s ashes and eyeballs up. “I’m glad this thing’s an automatic…!” he said as he tossed Woody’s dusty remains in the passenger seat. He then jumped over the top of the car and climbed into the driver’s seat, starting it up a half-second later.

“Hey! You!” “Crap!!” A security guard had exited the building, by that point. Joseph didn’t waste any time and hit the gas pedal as best he could, flying out from the street curb and into the street! The car did an impressive series of six upright spins before he got it in the forward gear. Another moment later, he drove away, leaving the angry security guard stand there to shake his fist at the two. –––––

“Woody, you insane little asshole!”

Joseph was shouting at a dustpan he was carrying with him, still housing the remains of his little ‘toon friend, as he walked back into the lobby of their own apartment complex. He was more than a little angry, needless to say.

“What were you thinking?!” “I dunno…” the pile of dust with eyes replied. “Seemed like a good idea, at the time!” The fox narrowed his own eyes… then, he callously dropped Woody into a nearby trash can. “You’re a lunatic… An unhelpful, insane lunatic. And, to make matters worse…” the fox said, withdrawing his envelope from his sweater pocket, “I didn’t get to deliver this!” “Don’t worry about it!” the woodpecker said as he appeared from the trash can, looking completely unscathed, aside from the half-coconut he was suddenly wearing as a hat. “I have a plan!” Joseph gave a snort. “Does this one involve breaking the law, too?” “Smarty-pants. I think you’ll like this plan.” Woody gave a grin. “It’s boring, just like you!” Once again, the fox narrowed his eyes. However, his curiosity was piqued. “Go on?” “Well ya see, since we know which apartment your girlfriend lives in–” Joseph gave a warning growl, causing Woody to nervously grin. “Eh heh heh… I mean, which apartment your friend lives in…” he corrected himself, “we can just mail it to her usin’ snail mail!” “I hope that’s not a literal thing…” the fox sighed. “Besides, do we even know the address of the apartment complex?” “Nope! But, there’s a quick way t’ find out!”

Joseph watched as Woody withdrew an oversized book from his leg “pocket,” putting it down on a nearby lobby table, then whipped through the pages of the tome, reading faster than the fox could keep up. A few moments later, the woodpecker was pointing at a name in the book and shouting a triumphant cheer! Joseph was about to ask what Woody had found… but then, without warning, the woodpecker zipped over and yanked the envelope out of his hand! “Wh– hey!” Joseph shouted. “What in the void–?!” The fox narrowed his eyes, watching as Woody pulled a fountain pen, again, from seemingly nowhere and scribbled on the envelope. Then, before he could even begin to object again, Woody shoved the envelope in his face!

“There ya go, pal!” he happily said. “All it needs is a stamp!” “What the…” Joseph pulled the envelope back, examining it. “W-what? Hey…” The yellow envelope was now labeled with his and Woody’s apartment address and number, as well as Shinko’s. Even more surprising… the lettering was done in a decorative, calligraphic style which was absolutely beautiful! It looked so nice, in fact, that it was almost like the envelope was labeled by a machine. “Woody… I had no idea–” “Less chat-y,” Woody said as he pulled Joseph toward the lobby outbox, “more send-y! Here’s a stamp. You can pay me back, later!” Joseph blinked as the woodpecker handed him a small square of shiny paper. It had a picture of a familiar-looking little black mouse with a white face wearing gray shorts and a captain’s hat. He seemed to be driving a ship of some kind. “‘Steamboat Willie…?’” Joseph said, unsure of where he got the name from. “Uh-huh!” the woodpecker said with a nod. “Part of the Disney Collection!” “Huh… Heh.” The fox gave the stamp a lick before placing it on the envelope. “I’m sure she’ll like it.”

After sliding the envelope into the outbox, the two made the short walk up three flights of stairs and back into the safety of their apartment. Joseph flopped on the couch almost immediately, emitting a long, contented sigh. “Thanks for all your help tonight, Woody…” He gave a smile to the woodpecker across the room who seemed occupied with something on their budget laptop. “And… sorry I got a little short, with you. It’s just… ya know.” “No problem, Joey!” Woody replied. “Though, I gotta say… ya picked a fine time t’ send your girlfr– I… mean, gal-pal, a Christmas gift.” “Oh, yeah?” The fox sat up. “Why’s that?” “It’s Christmas right now, pal!” “And?” “Mail doesn’t run on Christmas!” Woody grinned over to his roommate. “Heck, you’ll be lucky if it even gets t’ her by New Year’s Day!” It took a second for Joseph to register what Woody had just said. However, when it finally hit him… “Oh… holy… sh–” “Niiight! The stars are shining bright-ly!”

As Woody began to sing, the fox brought a pillow to his face, shaking his head and loudly grumbling. It was hard to tell if it was because of his mistake… or, because of Woody’s impromptu caroling. But, at least… the fox thought. At least I got it written… and, hey, who knows. Joseph’s face turned hopeful behind the pillow. Maybe she’ll even reply… –––––

The 29th of December had been a fairly long day for Shinko… She was more-than-happy to be back at her apartment complex that day, dead-on-her-feet and ready to crash on her couch. Before she did that, however, she made a routine stop into the mail room on the ground floor.

She put her mail key into the box marked 605 and opened it up. To her surprise, there was something inside! Something kind of odd… It was a small, yellow envelope with a lot of fancy, curly text on it and a Steamboat Willie stamp. If that wasn’t interesting enough… it would appear as though the return address was from someone the resident hadn’t heard from in a while. The ‘toon girl’s eyes widened as she read the name. “Joseph Lithius,” she silently mouthed, her body tensing and her pulse heightening. When she’d read that the letter had come from right there in ToonTown, she felt all-the-more tense. Apparently, her old friend had taken up residence in some place called the “Rubber Arms,” down in the Universal District.

Almost immediately, she ripped the end off the envelope and shook its contents loose. To her surprise, not only was there a letter… but, some sort of gift card, as well! However, she ignored the card and focused on the letter, instead. It seemed to be handwritten in ink and smelled vaguely of spearmint. The contents of the letter were as-followed:

Dear Shinko,

Hello! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Well, I’m sorry I took this long to reach out to you… I’ve been a little busy here in ToonTown (yep, I’m still here), between my job and other distractions. Plus, ya know… that whole thing last April… But never-you-mind, this is a jolly time of the year!

After I took off from your place, earlier this year, I went back to Joe’s Diner. They directed me to a Motel 6, where I stayed the night. The next day, though… I got right to work on establishing a base-of-operations… sort of. I went back to Joe’s Diner, that morning, intent on getting a job there (since I liked the atmosphere and the people). Oddly enough, I ran back into that little red-headed ‘toon woodpecker again… and, he decided to tag along with me. Turns out, he was in the market for a job, himself! And so, the two of us went into Joe’s Diner and demanded jobs! Well… I demanded they give us jobs, anyway. Rather than throw us out, though, the afternoon manager decided to give us a chance as part-time dishwashers. I guess she must have liked the cut of Woody’s jib, though, since she promoted him to full-time afternoon-shift cook, after about a month. Who’d’ve thunk? So, anyway, Woody and I have an apartment in the Universal District (a bit of a walk east and somewhat south of the Disney district, as I’m sure you know) and I have to say, it’s not bad. I mean, it’s not cheap… but, it came semi-furnished with a fridge and an electric stove! We also found a smelly, old couch sat by the side of a road (don’t worry, we cleaned it) and Woody somehow managed to get us a little CRT TV/VCR and stand. Oh! And, we were also able to get a bed for-cheap from Mona, the morning manager at Joe’s. (She’d purchased a Japanese futon thingy so she didn’t need the bed, anymore.)

Now, I’ve brought up Joe’s a few times already but I haven’t really said much about the people there. Truth be told, they’re a really nice bunch! I mentioned Mona, already. She’s that lizard-girl. She’s apparently studying marine biology in her off-hours and even brought me along on one of her class-related trips, one time! She’s also the morning manager, like I said, and works alongside Wally Walrus, an old friend of Woody’s. You might have met him, already? He’s pretty friendly but he speaks kind of oddly… One-too-many knocks on the noggin, maybe? The afternoon manager, Minerva Mink, is, well, a mink. I’m surprised more people aren’t flirting with her as she waits their tables, to be honest. She’s pretty! Then again, I haven’t flirted with her, either… but that might be because she’s my boss – and a really hard one, at that! If I didn’t know better, I’d say she likes Woody more… As for the graveyard shift, there’s a cute little deer-girl named Fawn Deer doing the tables and a wisecracking little monkey named Spydor doing the cooking. I’ve gotten to spend a little time with Fawn and she’s really super-nice, but… if you ever eat at Joe’s (heh heh heh) during the night shift, though, watch your pockets! Spydor’s a bit of a kleptomaniac… and, even though he always returns whatever he takes, I still don’t trust him. At least not completely… Plus, he’s pretty crude at-times. But, I guess, we can all be kinda crude, sometimes… huh? Honestly, though… he’s okay. When he’s not shooting his mouth off, I mean. Hee hee.

Well… life in ToonTown has been pretty interesting, these past few months, and I hope that trend continues. If you’re ever bored and in the Universal District, feel free to stop by our place at the Rubber Arms, Apartment 3C. I’m sure Woody would be happy to have you over. (I know I would!) And, remember… Eat at Joe’s™! ;)

Happy holidays, Joseph Lithius

Shinko felt a wave of relief wash over her and she leaned against a nearby counter. Joseph had not only survived ToonTown… but, he seemed to be doing just fine! A warm smile curled along her face as she calmed, still feeling the shock of getting a letter from him. However, she remembered something… Looking at the letter a second time, she noticed that, under where the letter had seemingly ended, it apparently kept going in a postscript a little farther down. And so, she read on…

P.S. I almost forgot to mention! Did you know Woody has a girlfriend? Her name’s Winnie (I think it’s short for “Winifred”) and she’s really nice! In fact, she kind of helped me write this letter! I think you’d like her. She’s a little more down-to-earth than Woody but still has her moments of, ya know, ‘tooniness.

But, that wasn’t all. There was a second postscript.

P.P.S. Where is my head this Christmas? I completely forgot to mention the gift card I’ve enclosed in this letter! You’ve probably already seen it by now but it’s a $100 gift card for what I’ve been told is a regional chain store? There’s one right here in ToonTown so I figured it was a good idea. I don’t know if you’re still hurting for cash but, hey, everyone could use a little money during the holidays! Feel free to use it for whatever you need or even just something nice for yourself, if you want! It’s just my way of saying “I wasn’t sure what to get you.” Super-sorry about that… eh heh heh.

Anyway, happy holidays!

Upon reading that, the redheaded ‘toon recalled the card that had fallen out of the letter. She looked at it as it sat there on the floor and, indeed, it was a $100 gift card for Walmart – one of which had opened up some time ago, right there in ToonTown.

She looked to the card… then, the letter… then, the card, again. For some reason… her eyes narrowed and an odd thought entered her head… one that seemed to make a lot of sense to her, the more she thought about it.

Her key frames updated, her face showing neutrality. A moment later, she walked right out of the mail room and headed to the elevator… leaving both the cash card… and, the letter… to lay there on the mail room floor.

#fiction #Holiday Breakdown #commercial characters #The Woody Woodpecker Show #Winnie Woodpecker #Woody Woodpecker #original characters #shinkothetoongirl #Shinko #Essence of Ragnarok #Joseph Lithius #slice of life #drama

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