#kirk van houten

[classic-simpsons]

S08E06 - A MILHOUSE DIVIDED

[james-p-sullivan]

[thenhc]

[flyinghellfish]

This line creeps into my mind at least once a week

[stupid-flanders]

Anyway the Barbie movie made me cry lmao

[kremptstenkman]

[dykegrrl]

[thesimpsonsultimateshowdown]

The Simpsons Ultimate Showdown!

Round 1: KIRK VAN HOUTEN VS CLETUS SPUCKLER

Kirk Van Houten TidBit: Kirk has had many strange injuries throughout the years, including getting his arm cut off, broken and stabbed hand, and getting one of his legs cut off.

Cletus Spuckler TidBit: At age 43, he is the Vice President of the United States. He attends the funeral of the Sultan of Brunei. Future episode btw.

[azorii-tulip]

van houten family mormon headcanons:

(i can do what i want, no one can stop me)

kirk is that asshole who talks overtime on fast sunday

no one in the ward came to milhouse's baptism </3

luann is a young women's leader, the kind none of the girls get along with

kirk went to SUU, disappointing his family who wanted him to go to one of the BYUs

milhouse wants his primary teacher to like him, so he invites non-members all the time. no one ever comes

bart actually came with milhouse once, but he was a dick about it the whole time

luann goes to the first church of springfield to spite kirk (post-divorce)

kirk doesn't stay for church activities

milhouse confesses stuff that doesn't matter to the bishop. like, he does not care that you didn't leave a tip for the ice cream guy or that you played video games for an extra thirty minutes than you should have

the van houtens are the worst ministers

as a young man, kirk had to re-do the prayers for sacrament all the time because he keeps messing up. they don't really ask him to do things like that anymore

luann overshares when giving her testimony

milhouse goes to boy's camp during the summer because his parents don't want him to get bullied at normal summer camp. he gets bullied either way

kirk wears garish ties with ugly patterns. y'know the horrific necktie from disco elysium? it's always that type of design

luann also teaches seminary during the school year. she doesn't like that she has to wake up early

kirk makes the "11 am church is the true church" jokes and they aren't funny anymore

milhouse had to go to the hospital because he got a CTR ring stuck to his finger and it was turning his whole hand green

kirk won't let milhouse drink soda because he's never actually looked through the word of wisdom

kirk doesn't pay his tithing

[faline-cat444]

Homerfied Mel

And people were so quick to say the strangling gag was retired just because Homer mentioned in another episode he hasn't done it as much as he used to."Different times" is a very valid explanation to once again apply though.

[virovac]

Hm...I miss the gruff subtle testosterone of Milhouse’s dad Kirk. While his loser energy is fun nowadays, its kinda icky its tied to “bald and glasses make a man a loser”

I think they should try to bring back that early energy, ramp it up,  and make him the “manliest loser dweeb” in Springfield. 

Maybe have him get back into shape, and at gym making people feel really inadequate that Kirk of all people is showing them up while he’s a jerk about it lording over others.

[incorrectspringfieldquotes]

Homer, to Luann: Oh, look who’s in favor of compromise. The woman who married Kirk Van Houten.

Kirk: Hey! She didn’t compromise. She settled. There’s a difference.

[thecurefordepression]

[thenhc]

[secretmemespixardean]

[thegoopsterscorner]

dinkly little edit my friend had me make