#kneelo

[sohannabarberaesque]

As Peter Potamus and niece Pamela are paddling out in the kneelo manner towards an adventure somewhere in Polynesia Uncharted

PAMELA POTAMUS, niece of Peter and joining his uncle this time out: I do have to admit, Uncle Peter, this kneelo paddleboarding is probably a new one on me ... especially considering the distance! PETER POTAMUS, explaining somewhat: Pam, my darling niece, you'll want to know I have the Magic Balloon at anchor just off the three-mile line from shore for good reason: These very islands are the sort as have yet to be despoiled by so-called "Civilisation," and what's more, the tactic is mainly to avoid possible embarrassment by the local peoples who are proud of not being ashamed about their bodies as much as sex! PAMELA POTAMUS: Which probably explains the nakedness we're exercising. PETER POTAMUS: How correct you are ... and with such interesting peoples, being naked and not ashamed to show it feels rather comfortable! Especially in the water! [Aside] Hopefully, I can get you an opportunity for you to try your hand at diving for pearls in the native fashion! PAMELA POTAMUS, sounding rather excited: Wouldn't that feel rather fascinating?! PETER POTAMUS: You had better believe it, my gal!

[norafraser]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Navy Kneelo® Knee Pads Kneelo® Kneelers & Knee Pads.

[leglesstv]

The Dream Run: Greg Holzman’s Island Life

Part 2.

If you were born before the last twenty years of the 20th century you’re able to grasp how much new technology and cheap air travel have changed the world and the way we live in it: profound changes that have touched every aspect of our lives. Surfing has always required commitment to the pursuit of good waves, but the nature and depth of that commitment has morphed and grown. Greg joked with us about one of the photos he sent us - him perfectly framed in the spiralling mouth of a smooth and luminous barrel - saying it was “nothing money can’t buy”. He’s right of course, but money’s only part of it – to experience the kind of nirvana we glimpse in shots like that requires planning, preparation of equipment, logistics, lots of water-time and perhaps more than anything, fitness. Add to this the fact that as a self-employed fisherman, when Greg’s not working, he’s not earning. Sponsors? Well, he gets a few boards from Buddy McCray. His logistical team is a loose network of local contacts he’s developed to facilitate the various resources and services inevitably required at short notice in out of the way places. Greg’s strike missions are conceived, organised, funded and executed autonomously: it’s all his own experience, knowledge, time and money. There are few among us able to shut up shop and disappear, possibly for months at a time, living self-sufficiently on the road, chasing the chance of finding a particular spot firing for a limited time. You may plan for a road trip or a boat trip, but Greg’s is commitment on a whole other level. Access to technology is one thing, knowing how to put it to best use is a skill acquired over time. Greg’s background in fishing has been a huge help in interpreting long-range weather forecasts, weather maps, charts of out of the way places: all key factors in his ability to score quality waves. Help and advice from fellow travellers, including a smattering of kneeboard surfers spread around the globe. Behind all this though, remain two things. One is what started it all going more than half a lifetime ago in San Diego: an irrepressible drive to ride big, challenging, high quality waves. The other is what drove Greg to leave Oahu for the outer islands in the late 70’s: the drive to explore the outermost limits of his ability on his own, away from the crowd. While there are plenty of pro and semi-pro freesurfing footboarders criss-crossing the globe at any given time, each with a Youtube channel and an Instagram account, it’s kind of nice to know that kneeboard surfing has Greg Holzman out there pushing the limits of what’s been done and pushing the rest of us to step up our game and look beyond our comfort zone.

Greg views his big wave pursuits as “strike missions”. Track a swell, find a spot, check wind and tide permutations, airlines, local travel, accommodation, be ready to go at the drop of a hat, and be prepared to surf at 100% when you get there. He’s been doing this for about 40 years, perhaps with increasing sophistication and expertise, but that’s the only change. We received an email just after Christmas.

 “So for fear of more words I’ll give you the story of my first solo big wave venture. It was at Pipeline. 1978. It was a giant West swell. Surf reports weren’t accurate back then but looking out I could see it was nice East winds in Kailua and I knew a big West swell was pumping. I was all about Pipeline at the end of my Oahu period so I felt very comfortable out there.  

I surfed with the heavies of the day, so I was pushing my limits. Driving up Kam Highway, the hour it took really got the heart pumping, especially when I hit Indicators reef and saw how big it was. More often than not, the swell was huge instead of too small, but in the 70’s no-one knew how big till you got there. When I got to Ehukai Beach Park I saw no-one out, perfect offshores and third reef sets at 20ft Hawaiian. Some amazing waves but I wasn’t sure I was ready for that!

Jack Lindholm was headed out on his bodyboard. I watched him catch a few incredible rides that got me stoked. The Second reef was capping hard and seemed like easy take-offs, but that was Jack on a bodyboard and he could take off later than anyone at the time.

I remember he didn’t make it out of a tube on one and came up the beach with his board almost torn in half.  I didn’t know him but commented on his board. He said he was going to change boards and go back out so I told him I would get ready and meet him out there. As I walked down to the beach I saw Sam Hawk paddle out, headed to the peaks at outside Log Cabins. I never saw Sammy again. Obviously, he lived, but that was all I saw of him as it was soon after this that I moved to Kauai.  

Anyway, I paddled out. It wasn’t that hard; in fact it was really easy with the channel and a big West swell. Everyone was at Waimea Bay - for good reason. When I got out, I remember seeing the sets on the outer reefs break a minute or two before they hit us. What I remember most was how hard it was to catch those monsters on my 5’2” twin fin fish. The waves had a deep-water slope to them, and you had to take off as the wave was breaking. Jack had it down and before too long he was gone. I never saw Jack again either.  So here I am and all I’m seeing is giant lines - just like the movies - and I’m getting further and further from shore. I’m thinking that I may need to get rescued and wondering if anyone’s watching in the lifeguard tower. I thought how embarrassing that would be and decided I needed to move inside and catch one underneath or I was not going to get in. Paddling in was a death sentence and it was obviously on the rise, so in between sets I paddled inside.  When a set approached EVERYTHING in me said “move outside NOW”, but I waited. I thought if I didn’t catch that first one I was getting to that beach dead or alive.  Luckily, I made the right call and that first wave was deep and inside and an easy take-off.  In fact, I commented to myself on how easy it was, really.  Once it hit that first reef I just sat there in this big easy barrel - no fear anymore - and the wave was just as perfect and easy a wave as I could get. It spit and I glided out onto the shoulder. I looked out thinking “I can do that again” when … the whole channel was closing out. I immediately turned for shore, just in time to see it turn to close-out sets.  When I got there I heard the hoots and claps of tourists cheering. I had survived my first solo big wave event. It scared me but I never felt more alive and I never forgot it. Just like many firsts, they are worth remembering.”

 So, fast forward to 2016, with Greg’s island life undergoing change, and another dream run about to start. While in Kandui in May that year, Greg picked up a Facebook friend request from Paul Macklin, an Aussie traveller who for years had sent him photos of his surf travels. Paul was then living in Bali. Greg decided he needed to return to G-land, so in July he left for Bobby’s Camp.

 Paul met me in the camp. Bobby Radiasa remembered me - it was like I had never left. All the same guys. Many had gone back every year I was gone. Having that family vibe in camp is a very addictive feeling and Facebook has kept us all back in contact. So, 2018 became the thirty-year reunion for me and G-land. I had three trips in 2018 looking for the gold standard G-land of June - July 2016 that was still the three swells of recent memory.  I got amazing waves, but that massive perfect Speed Reef (which rarely happens) eluded me. After seeing the photos of those days I swore I was investing in this as a goal: to get it at its best. I didn’t care how many trips it would take.

 After G-land in July 2017, I was off to South Africa: from Bali to J-bay.  I worried about the cold, coming straight from the tropics, and I did freeze, but I learned a few tricks there as well on staying warm - including a 1mm wetsuit top under my clothes - that let no cold air in on those freezing surf checks!  That’s where I met Gigs and Stevo. I stayed with Mike Ruthnum, who I’m indebted to for introducing me to great people, fellow KB riders, and secret surf spots that I will always remember. J-bay was an eye-opener. Much had changed there. Crowds were always a factor, but the town had a great vibe. The South Africans have all the forecasting at their fingertips now, so they come from around the country for the bigger swells, which I found different than the 80’s. But with that came KB riders. I found a very cool group of fellow riders who were happy, very much a club feeling, and with a wide range of boards ... it was an impressive group. I came home knowing that I would return next season. A month is not enough time in Africa. But as soon as I got home, I saw $500 tickets return to Bali. I knew Gigs was going and Simon Farrer - who I hadn’t seen since he was 18 on my island with Buddy - was meeting Gigs at G-land. Simon was already a phenomenon at 18. Seeing his movies made me want to spend time with these two world champs. So back I went for more.

 That took me right into the 2018-19 season with a passion for strike missions. I managed to strike a few Pacific spots early 2019 during Hawaii’s stormy moments. Each time selling more plants and looking: as soon as it was a good moment and I had cash I was going - sometimes with less than 8 hours to pack and be at the airport. I was on call for G-land when I saw a series of swells and good winds lining up. I told myself I wasn’t going to plan in advance for Indo anymore. My goal was one which wouldn’t end till I caught that 2016 Gold standard swell. Lucky for me it came on a day that looked like it wasn’t going to happen. The surf was huge and the direction was good with a high tide, but the wind was light onshore. I was pretty bummed when I saw the rain at 9 am, (not usually a good sign) but it passed quickly. All the guys went in. I knew the winds were changing with that sound the bamboo makes and quickly suited up. I got down to the beach and Donny the photographer said to hop on his bike. Blacky and he were headed out on the boat to take photos. I knew it was good and a heavy paddle out, so off we went. As soon as we neared it, we saw this was no normal day. When you see the photographer and boat driver pounding the boat and cheering like they were you know it’s not a normal day. Two guys were out, but they wanted nothing to do with those sets. My heart was pounding hard. I knew this was going to be a test - of all I had learned to stay safe, and the test of my equipment I so badly wanted.

What made it even better was my photographer was right on it with me to document.  I paddled out to an empty lineup and two guys who just paddled over the sets. It was destiny, fate, or just plain perseverance.

I learned a lot: about my boards, my goals and how hard it is to drive through those shock waves deep in barrels when it’s like that. I could see that what I needed was a board with the fins further back for stability as one bottom turn is all you get and then you’re behind and flying. Some I made, some I should have made, and others were just plain heavy. The crowd eventually showed up and the tide went out. One of the biggest problems with this kind of swell is it’s only good at high tide for a maximum of 4 hours. Usually only about 2 to 3 hours at its best.  That’s a lot of investment for such a short window. For me it was worth it. It taught me I could still do it and what my boards needed next mission to maximize my tube time. 

 It’s obvious that there’s a lot more to surf exploration at this level than meets the eye. A lifetime of preparation and expense may seem a high price to pay for memories - a few photos and stories representing the sole concrete evidence of mere minutes spent riding perfect surf - but to Greg, as for anyone else doing what he does, it’s not about money.

 I’ve done 12 trips in three years and surfed Hawaii winters every swell I can in between. I’ve gone to 5 destinations and gone back to each - if I can - till I am satisfied I’ve caught it at its best. I feel I have only really achieved that this year (2019) at G land, which is lucky because next year isn’t going to be the year - with the WSL going off there in the middle of the season.

 In Hawaii we take surfing very seriously. It has changed from when I started, Then, it was much more about the soul surfer and not publicizing where you went and not photographing your sessions. It wasn’t for money either. Now, everyone thinks they can get a free something if they’re good. It’s competitive and I try to remain in a collaborative mind-space. I have found it’s probably a help that I am a KB rider because we’re always trying to prove we belong in the lineup. At this point I rarely feel I can’t deal with things in a lineup, but often I know the fight isn’t worth the effort. I’ll voluntarily move out of the space as I don’t like catching scraps. If I have no chance for the sets, I’ll remove myself from the situation to save myself from certain mental crisis. Or a yelling match. This happened a few times at Jeffreys this year and in September 2018 at G-land with 80 guys in the water. Everyone - even your friends - are on a different level and chances are you’re not going to like what you see, so I’m out at that point.

Knowing how much effort went into getting himself into the line-up for those sessions, that’s a pretty big statement, one that we might all be wise to keep in mind every time we paddle out.  

Words - Rob Harwood - Legless.tv

Photos: Donny Lopez, John Barber & Courtesy of Greg Holzman

[vanves]

http://vanves.blog.jp/archives/2018-03-16.html

[walkingtheclouds]

May 24, 2021

Blue glass, a little overhead on the sets. More when kneeling. The strong high pressure Easterly from the Atlantic has finally shifted enough sand further out to justify a surfboard over a bodyboard. The wave was still a freight train no less, as the system had eventually brought ground swell. Still brought the Yuccas and rode my homemade fish as a dedicated kneelo for the first time. The deeper feeling of drive, speed, power, and connection to the wave is unmistakable, as every kneeboarder says. They are right. Very high success rate for airdrops too, and you can even do your takeoff while suspended in the empty space between a heaving lip and a sucking wall - while angling for your bottom turn at the same time. By the end I didn't care how square the sand churning low tide faces were shaping up to be at the critical moments as I knew I'd hold in. At this point I'd say I almost feel naked without those swim fins. Hung around by the pier to listen to wayward son on someone's radio before heading back.

[funnboardz]

Deep OC kneelo scene

[rileybalsa]

Balsa deck to kneelo by @handshaper #balsa (at Nine Mile Beach (strand i Australien, Queensland))

[twofingertoss-blog]

Last month at the #kneelocove toys for tots. #kneelo #kneeboarding

[sohannabarberaesque]

Poetry Corner

There's something to be said (and, perchance, in a positive way) when you've got Peter Potamus bringing along his nephews (Patrick and Perry II) on one of the uncle's journeys via The Magic Balloon into Polynesia Uncharted.

And it's mainly learning much (and in a positive way) about some fascinating primitive peoples who prefer otherwise keeping to themselves (and manage to like it as much) that have earned the respect of Peter Potamus and his late father.

Especially learning paddleboard technique involving the Australian Kneelo such in transport to and from the Magic Balloon at anchor just off the Three-Mile Line traditional, vis-a-vis the principal island of otherwise unknown kingdoms whose lifestyle of untrammelled nakedness can get to be rather fascinating in its own manner.

Not to mention brushing up on diving (naked, naturally, in a positive way) in waters where the dolphins are unusually welcoming and rather likable diving companions which can run rings around those in aquariums and dolphinariae because such friendships as these natives have are natural and come from nature.

And what could feel more comfortable unto the nephews (and in a natural sort of way) than to be naked in the native Polynesian manner, naked as Nature intended even ... and to recognise the "facts of life" as being wonderfully natural by way of native ladies who recognise such wonder as a natural given.

And to sense the wonder of a Polynesian sunset with the tide laping its way to shore, with the sheer comfort of a grass skirt in traditional dance followed, perhaps, by discovering a primitive kind of love most magical, most natural and most unrestrained in a naturally Polynesian manner otherwise decimated in the name of warped and racist "Manifest Destiny."

Do these poesies still fascinate you, fellow Hanna-Barberians? And hast thou and thine such poesy you might find enjoyable for this Sunday midday presence?

@warnerbrosentertainment @funtasticworld @jellystone-enjoyer @railguner34 @iheartgod175 @archive-archives @thebigdingle @screamingtoosoftly @princessgalaxy505 @themineralyoucrave @thylordshipofbutts @warnerbros-blog1 @joey-gatorman @a-gang-of-silly-bananas @theweekenddigest @indigo-corvus @warnerbrosent-blog

[norafraser]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Kneelo Ultra-Cushion Kneeler with Memory Foam Technology.

[leglesstv]

I am in the middle of moving house at moment and the run of good surf has not helped my case.

The board that I am riding in this image had been in the roof of my shed for around 10 years. Dale Ponsford shaped it for me after a trip down here. I wiped the dust and possum piss off it and it looked really contemporary, great rocker and nose template.

This wave was the second one I caught and I just got lucky. The guy that shot the pics is Josh Stewart, he has a real gift for being right in the spot and tight in with you. Incredibly he never seems to get in your line and what’s even more crazy is, I don't remember seeing him on this wave.

Josh’s Instagram page is @joshkado , Josh has got some amazing images of the cold heavy water waves around here, so all credit should go to Josh as all I did was light the wick and get shot out of the cannon !

Gavin Lewis

@leher_besar

Legless.tv

[vanves]

http://vanves.blog.jp/archives/20446391.html

[surftourist]

Simon Farrer, being where we want to be, by Steenoski.

[sohannabarberaesque]

Who could imagine Peter Potamus arriving somewhere in Polynesia Uncharted via kneelo paddleboard on waves such as these?

(Know: Out of deference to traditional cultural aspects and folkways, not to mention respecting of their isolation so as not to cause offense, Peter Potamus prefers his arrival naked, launching himself from the Magic Balloon at anchor just off the traditional three-mile limit.)

[sohannabarberaesque]

As if being mistaken for a native hippo god wasn't awful enow for Peter Potamus--

"So-So," saith Peter Potamus over Nescafé and pilot bread on one of those "journeys to nowhere" in that Magic Balloon of his bound to turn up in Polynesia Uncharted more than likely, "have I ever explained to you how my tradition of arriving in Polynesia Uncharted via kneeling paddleboard came about? I admit it's rather fascinating!"

"Feel free, Peter!" was how So-So, Peter's simian compadre and navigator, responded.

"Credit my late father, Perry Potamus," Peter started explaining, "he who got me into this whole adventure business to begin with, for the exercise I have in arriving as I do in some part or another of Polynesia Uncharted. And to think it all started with a koa wood surfboard of ancient Polynesian fashion given my father all those years ago by some local king for being so fascinated with such fascinating and yet primitive cultures and lifestyle--in a respectful way, of course!"

"I can believe that, Peter!" So-So explained as he was taking the sextant readings for navigational ends.

"Ahhhh yes ... a respectful fascination for nakedness as Nature intended ... being especially close to dolphins when swimming and diving with them to the extent of actually being rather trusting ... and looking upon sex as natural and enjoyable, not being embarrassed at the feeling either!"

"That must be very FASCINATING indeed!!" saith So-So.

"In time, Perry began developing the style of paddling out on that surfboard, kneeling on same, mainly as a way to reach the shore of some unmapped Polynesian paradiso from the balloon at anchor just off the traditional three-mile line ... and naked, besides!"

"Let me guess, Peter," asked an excited So-So. "To attract attention?"

"In a way ... yes," Peter remarked. "But then again, after reading numerous accounts of other Polynesians taking shock and surprise at fair-skinned explorers, missionaries and traders who, in the end, were causing nothing but trouble to such otherwise wonderful cultures and societies, and their traditions, Perry felt it best to avoid problems by going in naked to the main island thereof, so as to 'blend in' with the traditional nakedness of the locals. Thereby earning much trust in the bargain with such communities!"

"And when did you start coming along?" So-So asked.

"So-So," Peter explained, "I began joining my father on those journeys from about five years of age, mainly as a way to learn stuff and become fascinated with such interesting, if primitive, cultures and peoples while keeping him company! And if anything, at least early on, he always advised me against needlessly ogling the natives in such obvious nakedness; 'Nature,' my father explained to me, 'made them what they are, to begin with ... and such nakedness is rather obvious to them. In fact, they see this nakedness as being closer to Nature all the more, especially when in water ... and may explain why the dolphins in those parts have such a wonderful trust and friendship with said natives!'"

So-So couldn't resist going into a simian equivalent of the wolf whistle on hearing about such nakedness being a given among such peoples, prompting Peter to rebuke So-So for not showing due regard for such obviously latent and natural nakedness, driven for the most part (as Peter explained) by isolation, the obviously tropical climate and a need for comfort at its most basic while appeasing their deities. "And might it surprise you to know, So-So," Peter added, "that to such peoples, wearing too much clothing--as in anything more than a loincloth--is seen as taboo and unnerving to their gods!"

(Short pause while Peter gets another mug of sweet milky Nescafé ready.)

"Being naked among those peoples, So-So," Peter remarked, "just feels natural ... as well as letting Nature provide. Especially when it comes to amusements, sexual and otherwise ... and have I ever mentioned just how gracefully those natives can dive underwater, and how deep as well?"

"Plenty of times, Peter!" remarked So-So.

"In fact, some of this hippo's diving interest was learned by way of such uncharted islands, finding much fascination just wearing yourself among the reefs along utterly naked natives--and maybe a dolphin or two! But that's probably for later, So-So; it looks as if we're approaching another of my beloved uncharted communities!"

Which, at any rate, began the descent, splashdown and--you can assume what follows in these scenarios.

*************

@warnerbrosentertainment @joey-gatorman @theweekenddigest @xdiver71 @archive-archives @screamingtoosoftly @thylordshipofbutts @thebigdingle @princessgalaxy505 @themineralyoucrave @warnerbros-blog1 @railguner34 @jellystone-enjoyer @restroom @warnerbrosent-blog

[sohannabarberaesque]

Can you imagine Peter Potamus arriving on his kneelo somewhere in Polynesia Uncharted in this sort of scene, milieu even (as per Snagglepuss)?