#knowing people don't want shit to do with chip anymore breaks my heart. how did a small fandom hurt so many people

[arsen1cs4ng0]

hey. huge hug for everyone who was traumatised by the chip fandom. y'all fucking deserve a big hug and i hope all of you are doing okay now. care about you guys 💙💙💙

[belovedholland]

can you do an imagine with frat!tom where he’s embarrassed to be dating the reader because she’s a nerd? maybe he ignores her and treats her like shit basically when they’re in public but is the sweetest when they’re alone? and maybe one day he overhears her crying with her best friend about how heartbroken she is but can’t do anything about it because she loves him so much and he feels guilty and starts to treat her better? sorry if it’s too detailed🤧

Bad treatment

Pairing: frat!Tom x reader

W/c: 0.6k

A/n: This is my first time writing frat!tom, so I hope you like it!

Tom walked his way to your dorm room with a smile on his lips. His last class was cancelled, for a reason he didn't care enough about to remember. So he went straight to your dorm, to suprice you with a bag of chips in one hand. Friday was usual spend on partying, but today he just wanted to spend a night with you.

He was now standing in front of your door, his free hand on the handle and about to open the door, to see you. But a silent cry had him frozen, he then heard a voice which belonged to your best friend, Lilly.

"Honey, look at me." And then another cry. "Y/n/n." So it was you that were crying. Tom wanted to open the door and hopefully make whatever it was better, but he just stood there still.

"Talk to me."

"It's-it's just too much, I can't anymore." Tom finally heard you say.

"Can't do what anymore?"

"Tom!" He heard you cry out, and it broke him. What had he done?

"What did he do?"

"Nothing, he does nothing! He ignores me when we are around other people, I feel like he is embarrassed about me." The more Tom listened to your words, the more his heart broke. He wasn't embarrassed nor would he ever be.

"He's this frat boy, spends all his nights partying, he treats me like I'm a nerd, and yeah maybe I am, but he shouldn't treat me that way. Nobody of his friends know we are together. One time I heard his other frat friends talking shit about me, he didn't say anything to them, he didn't stand up for me, he even agreed!"

"He's a dick, that's what he is."

"But not when it's just the two of us. After a long day, he will come over here, and we will cuddle till we fall asleep, he's the sweetest to me when it's just us. But he becomes cold to me whenever there's other people. I don't know what to do." Your sobs broke Tom's heart into pieces. He knew you were right, he often became cold towards you, he had no idea of why, but it was never meant to hurt you.

"Break up with him."

"I can't, I love him too much." The two of you had never said I love you before. He would have been so happy to hear the words, if it wasn't for the situation.

"Do you even think he loves me?" That was enough for Tom, he had heard enough. He opened the door, giving you and Lilly a shock.

"I'm so so sorry for listening to your conversation. But believe when I say this Y/n," he moved towards you, looking deeply into your eyes. "I love you so much."

He sat down infront of the bed you were sitting on, and took your hands in his. "I'm so sorry for ever making you feel this way, I had no idea." Tears started rolling down his cheeks. "I've been such an idiot, I never meant to hurt you. I love you so much, please believe me." You didn't say anything.

"I'll let you two be alone." Lilly said breaking the silence, she got up and left.

"Darling?" You looked into his golden brown eyes that shined from the tears. "Please give me another chance, I will change, I love you, and I never want to not be with you." He was desperate.

"One more chance, that's it." Tom took his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug, and kissed the top of your head.

"Thank you." He hugged you even tighter into his chest. "I promise I will fix all that I have broken."

—

Taglist:

@ladykxxx08 - @spideyspeaches - @whoeveniskendall - @lovehollandy12 - @hi-hihi-hi - @petprker - @thenoddingbunny-blog - @joselyn001 - @bi-lmg07 - @marajillana

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Irresistibly Yours

Chapter 1 - The Elevator

Summary - Y/N Y/L/N moves to NYC in hopes for a fresh start after a nasty breakup. There she meets her neighbor, the cynical lawyer, Dean Winchester. A love-hate relationship starts evolving between them ever since they met in the elevator one morning but a desperate situation and a string of lies forces the two friendly rivals to go on a date or rather a fake date. Will sparks fly between them when Dean gets to know Y/N real and up close? Will Y/N finally find her Prince Charming in the grumpy, workaholic, divorce lawyer?

Pairing - Lawyer!Dean Winchester x Y/N

Warning - None for this chapter

Word Count - 1981

Square Filled - Moodboard ( @girl-next-door-writes )

A/N - *Cracks knuckles* Ta-daaaa! The series is finally here it's already Sunday where I live and I was dying to share this! It's going to be a wild ride ahead. So buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy the ride!

This is also my submission to @flamencodiva's Writing Challenge and @deanwanddamons' 2K Blogiversary challenge (congratulations on your milestone, Sian). Prompts are in bold.

Beta'd by @miss-nerd95 (Thanks again, hon❤️)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist Masterlist

Throwing her bag over the table, Y/N slumped down on the couch, letting out a sigh. The pressure from the higher-ups, consistent criticism of your work and impending deadlines were weighing heavily on her shoulders and she was in a desperate need of a break.

She looked over to the stack of papers on the table that now lay abandoned. The rejection from the publishing company was the fucking cherry on top. Y/N buried her face in her hands in frustration as she was almost on the verge of a mental breakdown, a few angry tears rolling down her cheeks. Letting her head fall back, she swiped away those angry tears, letting out a long sigh of defeat.

“Why can't I ever do anything right?” She mumbled, her breathing heavy as she bit down on her trembling lips.

In her late twenties, after a nasty break up, Y/N had a marvellous thought that she needed a fresh start. So she had left her corporate job back in Atlanta and moved to New York to pursue her dreams of becoming a writer. She had secured a good position in one of the leading magazine companies and started to write the novel that she had been planning since she was seventeen, but lately nothing seemed to work out the way she wanted. Sure, she was getting paid well but it wasn't enough compared to how much she had to deal with her shitty coworkers and bosses. She had now lost every motivation to continue her novel after the first draft got rejected by the publishing companies enough times to make her feel insecure about her writing.

“Why can't my life just be a goddamn Hallmark movie?” Y/N muttered under her breath as she picked up a cushion and covered your face, letting out a muffled scream.

Her wallowing time was interrupted by the blaring noise of her phone in the awfully quiet apartment, making her nearly jump out of her skin. Another frustrated groan left her lips as she saw the person calling her.

“I told you to stop calling me, for god's sake!” Y/N yelled into her phone.

“Come on, Y/N. One dinner.” The man on the other end pestered. “You know, at work people talk about how uptight you are. Let yourself go, once in a while.”

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Michael- I'm not interested. I told you a hundred times before and I'll say it again. Leave. Me. Alone!” She said. The line on the other side went quiet.

“Bitch.” She heard him say before the call disconnected.

“Fuck off!” She yelled again, knowing fully well he couldn't have heard her now. Y/N finally decided to put him in her blocklist because Michael didn't seem like he was gonna stop otherwise.

It wasn't that she had a stick up her ass for not wanting to go on a dinner date with her coworker. Honestly, she missed the whole first date experience, but Michael was definitely not the guy for her, or for any other girls out there in her opinion. He threw around sexist comments around the office like it was some cool shit and chivalry was definitely dead for him.

Y/N finally got up from her seat, shoulders still tense from the day's events. Opening the refrigerator, she stood there gawking at the leftovers in it.

“Cold pizza….spaghetti….chocolate brownies….” She looked at your dinner options, weighing each one's pros and cons before settling on - “Brownies it is.”

Taking out the chocolate confection , she returned to the couch. She put on Netflix as she browsed through it's movie section.

“Stupid Prince Charming-” she scoffed, biting into the delicious the chocolate chip brownie in hand. Grumbling at the unrealistic standards of Netflix rom coms, she still pressed the play on the film The Proposal.

Finishing her 'dinner', Y/N picked up the comforter, nestling deep into her couch as she watched the coldhearted Margaret fall head over heels for her assistant, the exhaustion kicked in.

“Fuck!”

And that's how the next morning started as Y/N woke up one hour later than usual. She had fallen into a deep sleep on her couch before Andrew even got to propose to Margaret, which was not exactly the wisest decision as the next morning, her neck and back screaming in pain.

The girl knew she was going to be late to work today by the time she had left the house. Hair up in a messy bun, a bag hanging from her shoulder, she tried to smoothen down the creases on her skirt before rushing towards the elevator in high heels.

“Hold the door!” She yelled at the man inside as soon as the door started to close. She sprinted towards the elevator as the man kept looking at her, an annoyed look evident on his face when he slammed the button, taking a step forward to keep the door from closing.

“Thank you!” Y/N huffed, as she got in the elevator. The man chose to remain silent and he pressed the ground button on the elevator. “I am so screwed today! I have never been this late to work!” She babbled on but the man still maintained the stoic look on his face. Y/N slightly turned to face the man of stone. He was probably in his thirties, his dirty blonde hair, sparkling green eyes and light stubble on his cheeks went very well with the crisp grey suit he was wearing. One hand in his pocket, he just stood there, jaw clenched together, eyes focused on the shut doors.

“You know, I should have set the alarm! Stupid-”

“Do you ever shut up?” The man finally spoke, a look of disinterest passing his face.

“Wow. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Excuse me?” His voice was hard.

“I said, someone woke up-”

“I heard what you said. I am just not interested in listening to your morning fuck-up story.” He scoffed.

“Woah, okay.” She widened her eyes at his disrespectful comment, “I just-” The elevator reached the ground floor of their apartment building and the doors opened with a ‘ding’.

“I think you don't want to waste anymore time talking since you're already running late.” Y/N gasped slightly at the audacity of the man. “Have a good day, Miss L/N.” The man wished before moving out of the confined space as Y/N narrowed her eyes at him and wondered how he knew her name.

“Have a good day as well, Mr….” She trailed off as she got out of the vator as well.

“Dean Winchester.” He said as he walked away, never once looking back as Y/N stood there, bewildered at what just happened.

Hands balled up into fists in apprehension, Y/N inhaled audibly, as she stood on the other side of the door. She was late to the meeting by half an hour, twenty-four minutes to be precise and nothing annoyed her boss more than tardiness.

“Y/N, it's a pleasure that you finally graced this meeting with your presence on this fine morning.” Abaddon’s words laced with acute sarcasm made it quite clear that Y/N was doomed when she entered the room. The remaining four pairs of eyes in the room were zeroed in on her, as she abashedly took a seat at the far-end of the table. She couldn't risk her job because of her smartass mouth and she was already on thin ice, so she kept quiet and let Abaddon carry on with the meeting cause even Cruella De Vil would be hiding her face in shame if she ever met Abaddon. She was an Umbridge before her coffee and a Regina George after drinking her coffee. There was no way she was going to spare the poor girl today.

“As I was pointing out, our sales have gone down in recent months quite drastically. Readers are saying the contents are not relatable or entertaining enough….”

A yawn threatened to leave Y/N as she listened to Abaddon go on about the poor performance of the company, her mind preoccupied by a certain green-eyed man. She had never seen Dean in the building before this morning. He was annoyingly good looking and rude and Y/N couldn't seem to get rid of the image of him looking dapper in that grey suit. She was barely able to focus on what Abaddon was saying.

With Dean Winchester still running through her mind, Y/N trudged back to her small cubicle after the painfully hour long meeting.

Plopping down on the chair, covering her face with her hands, she exclaimed, “I need coffee!”

“Thank me later.” She turned her head to Meg as she pushed a hot cup of coffee towards her before going back to her own cubicle.

“Black, just like my heart.” She said before inhaling the strong smell of the drink. Taking a little sip, she let out a sigh of content. “Jesus, I needed this badly.”

“Yeah, you look like shit,” Meg chuckled, earning a glare from her friend. “Did you even take a look at the mirror today? Honestly, I am not even exaggerating, I-”

“Meg, I’ll forever be grateful to you for this cup of coffee, but please stop talking.” Y/N groaned loudly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Michael walking towards her and put on headphones and turning the volume up, trying to look busy. “Heads up, incoming douchebag.” The brunette said. After the hubbub of the morning and the shitshow of a meeting, Michael was the last person Y/N wanted to see.

“Morning, Y/N.” The smug smile on his face made her cringe. This had been going on for a month now. She thought after last night, Michael would finally back down, but apparently she was very wrong. “My messages don't seem to get through anymore.”

“She blocked you. God, take a hint.” Meg muttered.

“She's right. It's ‘cause you can’t seem to take no for an answer.” Y/N huffed.

“One dinner. Just one.”

“No.”

“She said no. Isn't that enough?” Meg jumped to her friend’s rescue when she saw her fumbling and getting uncomfortable. Michael inched towards Y/N anyway, completely ignoring his colleague’s comment, a smirk evident on his face.

“Y/N, don't be so uptight. What harm does a single dinner gonna do?” He asked.

“It’ll be cheating. I have a boyfriend.” Y/N blurted out, making Meg’s eyes go wide, but it actually seemed to work as Michael moved away from her.

“A boyfriend?”

“Yeah. We have been going out for a while now.” The said man frowned as he thought the words over before leaving her space with a little nod of his head. Maybe it worked on him without any hassle, but she knew this lie would come back to bite her in the ass if the whole office got to know about it. Oh, and they would know since turning around, Y/N saw Ruby staring at her, a grin appearing on her face as she took in all the juicy gossip. The lie was now gonna spread like wildfire.

“Spill.” Y/N turned to look at her friend who stood there, hands folded, eyes wide, brows raised in utter disbelief. She puckered her lips as she waited on Y/N to explain who just frowned in reply. “Well? What happened? I want all the details, Y/N!”

“Oh come on, L/N. Share the deets.” Ruby snickered. “Who's the man that actually managed to capture your heart?”

“Dean Winchester.” The name tumbled out of her lips so easily and that was how she knew she was screwed.

Chapter 2

Feedback is highly appreciated!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in this series!

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[stevesnailbat]

routine | steve harrington

summary: Steve is stuck in the same, boring routine for months until someone finally helps him understand that change can be good.

warnings: some angst

word count: 2.2K

a/n: gif credit to the WONDERFUL @harringtown !!!! and i bounced a lot of the ideas for this fic around with @comedy-witch @jxnehxpper and @lovesong-remastered so credit to them for this inspo!!

Life was just one big routine for Steve. He’d wake up, do his hair after he brushes his teeth, put on his Family Video Uniform, make himself the mundane breakfast of eggs and bacon and buttered toast, then head to work. At work, there were the same routines of cleaning, taking people at the register, putting movies away. After getting off work, he’d run on the treadmill for forty-five minutes exactly, take a shower, make one of the three over-simplified dinners he always ate, then go to sleep.

Everything was the same all the time, and he needed it that way. Any bump in the road sent his heart rate spiraling, sent his mind into a frenzy of everything that could go wrong. The things that could go wrong were never anyone else’s fault—it was always his fault in his mind.

It was different now that he wasn’t in school. He couldn’t stay distracted with school and sports and homework anymore. It was a matter of battling with his own emotions and he’d found out quickly that routine was the only thing that he needed in his life.

He hated when Robin would ask him last minute to go out, to when she’d invite him to go somewhere after their shift. Those things weren’t part of his routine, so he couldn’t bare the thought of them.

Y/N coming into his life wasn’t any different than any of the other irregularities in his strict schedule. The feelings he caught so quickly terrified him so much that he felt the need to shove them back down his throat every time she was around. Steve’s walls were built high and she could barely reach to get through to him, but she still did somehow.

She became a regular at the video store, mainly out of curiosity of the familiar yet distant boy she saw at the counter the first time she came in. Of course, she knew of Steve; who in the town hadn’t? But, she didn’t know how much he’d changed since high school until she saw it with her own eyes. He was quiet, kept to himself, and was even friends with someone he never would’ve associated with a year before. His change piqued her interest and she wanted to know more.

“Do you always sit in the break room and do nothing for your whole lunch break?” Y/N questioned one day after Robin invited her back room, she had picked up on one of Steve’s many habits already.

“Dingus never eats, I’m not even kidding.” Robin said while stacking some returned movies onto a cart to put out. “I’ve never seen him bring a single morsel of food back into this room.”

“I eat after my shift every day, thank you.” Steve quips, shooting a glare in Robin’s direction. “I’m just never hungry enough to eat during this time, I guess.”

“For a full eight hour shift? You don’t feel hungry at all?” Y/N implored, Steve nodded in an unbelievably confident manner. “You’re lying, Harrington.”

“I’m not—“

“I’m packing you lunch from now on, Steve.” she said, the tone of her voice leaving no room for him to protest. “I promise you that it’ll help you!”

Steve doesn’t say no to the food, but damn, does he want to. Not because he’s not grateful for her, but because it messes everything up. He did the same thing every day in the break room—he listened to his walkman and looked through the return movies pile in the back room. But now, he had Y/N—along with Robin sometimes—pestering him about eating the food from the brown paper bag. It was completely out of his routine and he hated it.

He had to tell himself over and over again that it was just a lunch, and that he could fit it into his routine. Truthfully, it warmed his heart that Y/N cared about him enough to visit him every day, let alone pack him a lunch with every visit. The first few times she brought him food, it was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a bag of chips and an apple. Nothing too exciting, but enough to satisfy his hunger and make the feeling of adoration he felt towards her blossom.

Steve became accustomed to her sitting in the break room with him, cracking jokes with him while he ate his sandwich. He slowly slips back to his habitual tendencies, and Y/N and the PB & Js become apart of them too. It seems to be something to look forward too and Steve enjoys the company. Sometimes there’s a pang of hurt in his chest when he catches her staring at him, but he pushes it away. Steve wanted something constant and this was it, he didn’t want to push it any further and he doesn’t expect her to push it any further.

Of course, Steve knew that Y/N didn’t just want to be his sack-lunch bearer forever, but he didn’t want to think about it. He wanted damn near everything in his life to be on autopilot, nothing left for his mind to overthink about. As much as he might’ve liked her, he forced himself to think of her as nothing but a friend. Getting into a relationship was out of the cards.

When the sandwich she brings changes, something in Steve switches.

“What’s on this?” he questions, lifting the top piece of bread with wide eyes.

“It’s just a turkey sandwich, Steve. There’s some cheese and mayo on it too, but that’s it.” she says casually, watching as he closely examines the sandwich.

That’s when Steve shuts down, for some reason. If the sandwich he gets every day isn’t even a constancy, then what is? She could almost literally see the walls come up around Steve again, the same ones that she’d worked so hard to tear down. Steve had lost his appetite, he felt so dramatic for it, but he couldn’t help it. He forced the first bite down his throat, holding back any bitter words that he might have had about the change.

“Do you not like it?” she asked after a minute of deafening silence, filled with watching him pick at the sandwich. “You don’t have to eat it.”

“I was just—just expecting the usual, you know.” he sighed, feeling defeated by himself.

“I thought you’d wanna change it up? I didn’t think it’d be fun eating the same thing every day.” she suggested, chewing on her lip as she watched him battle with himself.

Steve only nodded and gave her a weak smile, a feeling of uncertainty and dread filling his stomach. Neither of them spoke after that, tension and silence filling the room instead of the typical giggles and teasing. She didn’t really understand why he was so upset, but she knew she could never fully comprehend it. It was obvious that Steve had seen some shit, and that she might not ever get through to him to figure out what bothered him so deeply about the stupid turkey sandwich.

The next day, she brings him the usual lunch, in the typical, boring brown paper bag. Steve’s eyes light up when he sees the peanut butter and jelly, and something in Y/N’s chest aches at the thought of something so simple and so routine bringing him so much joy. He was talkative again, making jokes about some of the new movies they got, making her laugh like the day before hadn’t happened. It didn’t sit right with her.

She couldn’t even bring herself to drive home after Steve’s lunch break. Curiosity was keeping her from putting her car into drive, she wanted to find out why he was such a creature of habit. And more importantly, why he kept pushing her away. She waited three hours for Steve to come out of the Family Video, eyes trained to the door the whole time. He looked bored when he walked out of the store, like he was dreading going home for the night.

“Harrington!” she called after rolling down her window, motioning for him to come to her car.

“Hey, have you been here this whole time?” Steve asked, brows nearly knitted together as a confused frown grew on his lips.

“That’s not important, will you get in the car? I wanna talk to you.” she said, throwing her chin in the direction of the passenger seat.

“I’m—I can’t, I have somewhere to be—“

“Do those plans include going home for the night? Because you looked like you were not looking forward to it five seconds ago.” she said matter-of-factly, giving him an incredulous glare as he looked at her in silence. “That's what I thought. Get in, Steve. It won’t take long.”

Hesitantly, Steve rounded the car to get in on the passenger side.

“I can’t stop thinking about yesterday.” she blurted out as he closed the door, making his eyes go wide.

“What about it?” he asked cautiously.

“About how you went radio silent for the hour over a stupid turkey sandwich. Just because I switched something up on you.” she said bluntly.

“I—I don’t know.” he stammered, refusing to look at her as he felt her eyes fixed on him.

“But you do know! You just aren’t saying it! You can’t just have everything in your life be the same all the time.” she huffed.

“What if I want to? I don’t like change! I don’t want things to change!” Steve exclaimed.

“Things always change, Steve! You can’t just live the same, boring life every day and be okay with it. Live a little!” she retorted, watching as he rolled his eyes and let out a small, bitter laugh.

“I don’t want change, Y/N! I’m happy with where I am right now, nothing at all needs to change. I’m okay with living this same, boring life every day!” he mocked, a hand running through his hair nervously. “I do the same thing every day, and you bring me the same lunch every day. I don't care about variety, I care about not giving things the opportunity to fuck up again! I—I like the way everything is right now and I don’t want to get my hopes up for anything more, because sometimes something more never comes.”

In that moment, she could tell he wasn’t talking about the turkey sandwich anymore. Steve was talking about her, and what they had going for them. His biggest fear was pushing forward and getting nothing in return, or feeling like he wasn’t loved again.

“You know why I take the longest shifts I can here?” he asked, breaking the saddening silence. “So I can avoid being in my big, lonely house. I don’t like being alone, but I know I am. It’s become my routine for me to take long ass shifts so I can feel okay, so I can feel again, just for a little bit every day. And—And as much as I hated letting you in at first, I like the little routine that we’ve created, too. I like talking with you and making stupid jokes about the new releases. I—I don’t want what we have to change. I don’t want to lose it because of one small change or because I’m being selfish.”

“You’re being selfish right now, Steve.” she said softly, and he finally looked over at her with his wide, pain-filled eyes. “You aren’t letting yourself understand what other people might want. And I know for a fact that you don’t want me to just be the girl who brings you lunch every day, is that right?”

Steve nodded slowly, taking the moment to let his thoughts catch up in his whizzing mind.

“I can see it in your eyes when we sit in the break room. When you catch me staring sometimes, you freeze up. You get a little blush on your cheeks or you frown to yourself for a moment, because you don’t want to fuck it up.” she continued, reaching for his hand across the console. “But you’re digging both of us into a deeper hole by not letting me in and not changing your routine. I just want to help you.”

He’s quiet for a moment, eyes trained on where their hands met. Her touch was gentle and soothing, her thumb rubbed circles along the back of his hand to calm him down as she spoke. It was a bit overwhelming for him at first, but he was growing to accept it quickly. Before he could fully grasp what was going on, her other hand reached to cup his cheek. Their eyes met once more and she could almost see the shift from sadness to adoration in his doe-eyes. Steve couldn’t help but lean into her hand, catching her lips in a soft, quick kiss. It was a bittersweet moment for Steve, but he told himself that change was good, and that love was good, too.

“Will you finally let me help you?” she asked after pulling away from the short kiss, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“Yeah, I’ll let you.” Steve said with a weak smile, a feeling of warmth filling his chest as he spoke.

tags: @sourapplebaby @harringtown @jxnehxpper @charmed-asylum @heart-eye-harrington @daddystevee @queenofthehairharrington @a-magey @lemonypink @igotmadskills @ilovebucketbarnes @simplesammyx @willowrose99

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[heartedlystyled]

Abu's friend asked Abu to ask me if i would be comfortable to wear Hindu with a Burka.

I'm not huge on burkas because i get the got breath back and im already always hot anyways.

But his friend, Abu said that he found interesting that Hindu is a combination of my usual need for bling combined with Islam dress.

I said i would look for an appropriate outfit in Hindu wear to see if i would he comfortable in Hindu wear...

Its the land of the free, I can wear what i want...

Then we can across the girl on the left and he said "you already kind of dress that way anyways and your daughter, too!"

And i do... In NYC we had friends that were India Hindu, Americans, US military and we played with their kids... And i remember the grandma always seemed to open the door and she always wore the red dot on her forehead. She would stab it to make it upraised with a little needle and she would re tattoo it like every week or So...

It looked like a felt dot glued securely to her forehead.

And she often wore pink and green with gold sequin trim And she was always sewing.

So somehow as an adult, i began dressing my infant daughter that way as i always wore pants or ankle length dresses/skirts... Younger i would wear above the knee with panty hose... But longer meant more freedom like no pantyhose or having to shave above the mid calf... Just in case...

With my infant i would put a cute dress on her with jeans because she would get cold... Cause she couldn't keep socks on and the jeans would cover her feet...

Then as she got older wanting her comfortable to play like a boy but in a dress had me to put leggings on her...

Then for me cause i got excessively fat, I didn't feel comfortable in a shorter dress or skirt... So i also wear pants.

But I do wear spaghetti straps or strapless... Because i like it. It still covers my books so..

And I can understand going to the movies with Abu and his single friend and his friend asking me to wear a bit more than normal...

Its not against me at all.., its about respecting his friend Abu... Like he isn't all trying to be looking at me because hes just sitting and zoning into space... Or because he is looking at me and talking...

Like to go on double dates or in a group and the girls have to wear a certain way... I don't mind to change it up a little so they feel more comfortable... Im not afraid of being shunned.. Abu will ditch them in the parking lot.

Its about supporting a culture, friendship and family.

So if i wear a zebra print burka with pink highlights... Its not the same as Islam dress.. Yet... I'm still making an effort to appease a religious belief that i don't necessarily agree with...

That said I'm not into a burka... But something similar that's sheerer so i sont get too hot... Something similar to what some Hindu wear for special ceremonies.

Growing up in a melting pot of Earth... In NYC we spent A lot of nights sleeping in the Hindu's living room floor in piles of pillows and blankets and pizza. Chips and dip and soda, veggie plate me and gramma shared and the boys had to eat one of...

And we would watch 1 American movie like Ghost Busters or whatever was new and all the Hindu/India movies we wanted. A

Often times they weren't subtitled or in English. But we would watch and the gramma or the dad (they didn't have a nom either) would explain what was happening... A lot of times the boys would go out with my brothers and i would stay inside with the gramma and watch movies and ask her what they said, why their faces changed

Because the boys would understand the scene and they would make part of the movie themselves, like the TV extended to the living room floor and they would pantomime and act out and joke around about what they would do if they were there in the movie scene.

Usually I just watched... And handed supplies... The back drop wall flower watching the people I loved changing the movie scene they would want to have included in the movie each time we watched it...

I loved it

But i also wanted to know what we didn't see. What we missed by living. I wanted to see what was on the other side of the screen that wasn't paid attention to on those fun nights.

Gramma had difficulty with English and expression and sometimes she got embarrassed if it was a romantic scene... So i would go to the TV and point to the people and tell her what i thought they were doing in each scene.

So essentially while my own mother had been killed in front of me and all i could remember of her existence was blood splashing on the brown living room curtains...

This kind Hindu old lady without a daughter in law of her own that died in childbirth, delivering at home and only had grandsons... Taught me about life, relationships, life events, life expectations and expectancy.

I would skip school a lot to go hang out with her... Just not even go. She would open the door to let the boys out and see me and ask "school?" And i would shake my head no "not today"

Eventually my dad asked me why i hadn't been and told them i had to go to school... I would just sit outside her door all day until she went to laundry after lunch and thn i would follow her around the laundry mat downstairs in our apartment building.

So then she got to,walking us all to school... But she said it took too long,to,return home So she would ride her bike in the afternoon, tie it up to the bike rack and then walk us home... In the morning she would walk us to school and she would ride her bike home.

In the 4th grade my class had a window she would pass by to go to the bike rack and i would stand up and wait to see her go by.

She changed. She became leaner and softer and happier. She would let her hair down when she rode by on her bike. Literally letting it flow down behind her, for like miles... Then she would pin it right back up in a Chinese pin she called it.

She taught me about life. About living. And about surviving when even you yourself have no reason for continuing.

And although I was breaking the rules and she knew... She wouldn't let me in the house as she promised but if i helped her fold the laundry as she directed and helped her to twke them from rhe cart and hand the baskets to her frim the doorway she would tell me "you help me, i help you. Here is food" and she would give me lunch and a drink. And she would sometimes sit in the hallway floor with me and talk to me about the movie we watched AFTER school was let over and the boys were home. As my dad had said i could.

To me she wasn't an old lady with a red dot and Hindu clothing.

She was my very dear friend. Very close to my heart. To me, She had no age. She was as young as me, sometimes even younger but smarter. She told me all kinds of stories about her life in India, her son's life... All her children, her husband.

For me i was always in awe, mouth dropped at her tales, they were so beautiful and made her face change dramatically with her huge smiles or her eyes turning round and filling with tears...

Remember how i wrote she had a red dot that looked like felt glued down?

It was

That's exactly what it was.

But one summer it kept falling off. The summer after 3rd grade. The boys would be loud so she would say let's to go outside in the hall and talk.

And i had already caused a huge thing at school, predicting my friend Rose's death and having PTSD, having my 3rd grade teacher arrested as she was from China and would hit us with rulers and make us kneel in rice and peas (she killed herself in prison, she had a 2 year sentence) and so me hanging out with a Hindu lady... It was another story, another event for my file.

I remember a rather large black man would sit around the corner and listen. But she would say "he is spy, i cannot continue talking. It is not Chinese. It is not bad. I di nit want to go in But i do not feel comfortable. You tell me now about you"

"No way! I hate this shit!" So i confronted him. Over and over. Until finally she giggled and told me "invite him to conversate. Tell him sit in floor, like man But be handsome. But not too sexy no no no. He probably married anyway and I'm too old. But please hurry. I'm i get nervous"

"Oh please! Don't tell me! You're too old! You already have kids! You can't date!" I said veey loudly as i walked to the corner "up get -- HEY GET BACK HERE!!! SHE WANTS YOU TO SIT AND CONVERSATE!! don't be a dummy come on" i caught him nearmy running to,the staircase.

"Do you know how old i am? I'm nearly 40! You can't talk to me like that!"

"I can. I just did. Now please sit. Would you like something to drink? I can get you some kool-aid"

"What's she drinking?"

"Its gin"

"I would like some, too"

"What's gin?"

"Just go"

Finally i found what i knew gin was and i handed him a deck of cards.

I learned her tricks... When she's annoyed or uncomfortable or suspicious, she flirts. She acts like he's all over her and she's all flat drunk out... Y'all have seen me do them. The unlucky fall for them.

But he didn't and she was drinking water.

And he told her my story. The stories i hid. The stories i wish never happened. The stories i forbid to be spoken around me.

And i tuned my back to,them so they could not see me,cry or push my migraines away. And it continued for days. And she ran out of tissues and i had to use toilet paper for my nose.

Then her red dot, the eye of the God ran began to fall off her face, everyday. She got new glue. Stronger glue. And it will still fall.

So shr asked him "what is this? Why this fall?"

He said "if you ask me, She loves you and now you know you know what love is and you don't need that to protect you anymore"

"It is not to protect but to see"

"To look for love that i know about you Hindu. That is all you speak To her about. Its love. That i do know and now you know her pain and how much she needs you. You understand --- is that all you do us cry?"

"She speaks"

"You know what i want you to do is get that tattooed but in blue. Next time I come to see you, I'll bring a book i have been studying and i will show you, its perfectly acceptable to get a tattoo of it on your face,but an any color. Because you know why you identify eith her -- i mean why you are both friends with each other, is because you are both sad"

"She sad. I'm sad. So now I'm friends? With her, a small child? I am odd duck"

"Now now don't you smile, Sabrina don't you laugh at the old lady!"

"Shes funny! She's not ducking she's brave! And she's small not odd and she's sweet and even,you like her! You tell her to,get tattoo! You're strange if at all!" I blurted out... The first time I talked in weeks, it felt... In reality only about 5 days.

And so long conversations short... She used a blue pen to draw a star... As he said she was my star, my human North star, to help me find the light in life and she had came to me when my life was most darkest And i was extremely suicidal and had been caught trying to drown myself like umpteen times... Cause i wanted to die outside because it felt better than dying inside all stuffy and around people like Denise. And i wanted to drown in the river but someone always saw me. 8 years old and all... I had my desires in how to die. I wasn't stupid or mindless.

He said she had been given red as her felt dot, from a priest, because she had felt love. Still knew love, still wanted love and Still believed in it and Still looked for it.

But he said that sometimes the dot could change. It could change shapes, sizes and colors. And he said if her brain leaked out, it didn't leak love, it leaked sadness. So thus her permanent eye of ra should be blue. A light color blue not too dark because she allowed light and happiness to shine thru the tears of her world.

And that was what she had taught me... Once I learned the videos then I would interact with the TV... And the boys would watch and then we would all play along with what was on the either side of the screen and i taught them what i had learned from Granny Hindu.

She would watch us and cry. The dad would watch in shock and awe as his sons were finally being taught their native tounge and important parts of the movie and ceremonies. Sometimes he would cry.

Eventually he began wearing his Hindu traditional wear and they would get up and dance the traditional Hindu dance and teach us while we the the pillows and blankets up on the couch. And we would laugh

Of course my back would hurt easily and the boys, because of the dad, all eventually would pick me up and dance with me like i was a doll, then supporting my small amount of bony weight with their arms.

And the dad would do the granny..,her feet dangling at his knees would make me,laugh so heartily!!

The boys wouldn't pick me up so high... Mostly I would lean on their shoulders or elbows...

And so granny settled on blood sweat and tears as she realized it wasn't happiness she knew best but sadness.

And she got a light blue tear in the middle of her forehead, tattooed. And she would wear a jewel over it, shaped like a tear, as beautiful as ever. But sometimes she wore a larger than in the past, red felt circle over it... "I looked for love and i found it and it hid all my tears"

So of course I would dress myself and child subconsciously in Hindu like garb. And of course I would wear it when out with people of Islamic culture.

The tattoo shop which had done her light blue tear, eye of Earth had also shown hwr how to hand poke tattoos as is conventional in her home country of India. Although she had her ra in a professional tattoo gun.

The government spy man had arranged it for her. He also came to our weekend slumber parties, some times falling asleep after a long hard work day on the couch like a child and we would give him a blanket we ha from out massive pile and cover him. I would say "heres you a blankey" and usually he would take the corner with his massive black hand or sometimes just sigh, inhale nd exhale deeply. Usually me and the boys took turns to cover him.

Little children covering an over 6 foot tall almost 40 year old man.... Ages from 5 to 10...

Because that is what love is.

Sometimes he would start breakfast... After the first dozen times escaping in the night after catching up with his zzz's and we told,him if he was gonna,crash the slumber party with his big body probably breaking the couch with all his long bones and muscles then he needed to crash all the way and watch Saturday morning cartoons. Cause that was the best and breakfast in bed... Or the pile of blankets an sheets nd pillows like a nest for baby birds as we called it. That was the best part. After waking up woth friends we loved and understood when we felt most misunderstood in the world. Them being Hindu with a gramma with a red dot the tattoo in the middle of her forehead totally misunderstood was she a witch? Crazy? How old was she? 40? 100? And then us, watching our mother murdered, barely being able to remember her or just being able to,watch the blood spray md wonder and,cry where was our lovely mother? And the puking. The days and night of puking and puking from fear, disgust, worry and sadness. And still death seemed to follow us everywhere no matter how we predicted it or didn't or wanted it or didn't. Cared or didn't. Prayed or didn't. It was just there. Always there.

And so he would stay... Did we find him in granny bed above the covers cuddling fully clothed once or twice? Yea. And we decided it was better than Saturday morning cartoons and so we all silently munched cereal and watched them, sitting in her bedroom floor doorway... Until we feared they were dead and then I would whisper hey and he would jump awake from laying on her shoulder or sometimes boob/rib or gramma Hindu would slowly open her eyes and be in her little dreamlike state and the first few times was innocent "hey there's a man in your bed. That isn't s pillow laying on you" we would whisper

But there was that one time... That one time that she fully seduced him like the prowling cougar she is and it was a whole different Saturday morning when she clutched the blanket to,her chest and said "YOU KIDS GET OUT!!"

And I not understanding cried at her "Why are you acting Chinese!?!?! I'm not getting out until you explain!!!"

So i had to be explained that he was in his boxers and had been under the covers and they didn't want all the kids to see their privacy

And i said "Fine! I'll get out! But that's gross!!!"

Because at 8 thats what i believed.

"And you should have made breakfast or i wouldn't had known!!" And i spun on my heel and threw my hair in his face.

And Alex asked me "what's going on? I mean with them?"

"I can't talk about it" heavy slumped shoulders, neck aching "let's just watch TV that's better" he bugged on and on until i covered my head to avoid him and fall back asleep

But when i woke he asked again and i told him "they had sex"

And he called me a liar and herded all the boys to go ask.

And then they called me back to,the room so we could get an explanation

And I said "i don't want to hear all this shit. I know the birds and the bees. In and out it goes"

But he tried to talk to us about love...

But Alex threw up..

Because our mother's murderer whom used a chainsaw to her neck while we were all assembled to watch... Then said that exact same thing and had added "want to watch" as he raped our mom's nearly decapitated body.

He was right. Sadness would always exist because of love.

Well us kids didn't care about two consenting adults with their heads fully attached.. Unfortunately her son did and he was really an ass hole. Only caring about himself and his feelings, then put in for a transfer to move across country to get his 60 year old cougar momma away from a early 40 year old kitten...

Destroying his son's lives in the process... And ours... And even his own happiness

Instead of allowing his mother freedom to love.

But before all this the young thug kitten only looking for one thing So said the father, an alley cat, he was allowed gramma Hindu to hand poke a tattoo on his right toe. An S. With an astrick just tucked inside the bottom tail.

"Samaria"

That was Grandma Hindus name.

She gave herself the one i drew above... An S for Sabrina for helping her find Samaria again And of course the S for herself as well.. And two stars... One for the one we could see in her in the bottom and the other to honor the stars she could see... And she told me one for me and one for her for our friendship. And the F next to Because they were so most important to her... The F did get bigger over time and eventually became the same,size as the S as her family evolved and changed...

I suppose the story is true. She handpoked white in the "standing leg" of the F to represent the Father, her son of the family in anger because of the move.

She could have stabbed him to death. I would not had blamed her.

[shreyamistry]

I know this isn't a usual pairing you write for but I was hoping you would consider this. Pairing: Colt x Logan. Prompt: “I’ve realised that you keep interrupting my daily and, holy shit, do I love it.” Even though you don't write it, I would like to say that you are an amazing writer. Hope you have a nice day!

Pairing: Colt x Logan

Prompt: “I’ve realized that you keep interrupting my daily and, holy shit, do I love it.”

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Hey! Thanks for the ask! Took me forever to figure out what to do with this request, but I’m pretty happy with the way it turned out! And I got another Logan/Colt prompt, so this is part 1 and that’s part 2, be sure to look out for it!!! I’ll release them both today around the same time. 

Thanks for reading! I hope you like it!

Tensions have settled ever since the altercation between Ellie and Logan surrounding their breakup. Logan still felt intense guilt about how things ended between him and Ellie, he remembered the beginning so full of love and excitement and then he had to go and fuck it all up. He knew she hung around when she knew he wouldn’t be in, he knew Mona and her have grown closer and it didn’t bother him anymore. He was relieved to know she was happy.

He glances up at Colt who falls onto the couch beside him with a bag of chips, whipping the remote off the table in front of them clicking a few buttons before pulling up a TV show that Logan had never heard about. Shortly after the sound of crunching chips and wrinkling chip bag follow.

“Fuck.” Colt groans, setting the chips onto the table.

Logan can’t help but laugh, “What’s wrong?”

“I forgot my soda.” He frowns, “Go grab it for me.”

“Why would I do that?” Logan asks pointedly, Colt smirks at him drawing his body closer to Logan leaning in his vicinity, causing Logan to smirk back at him teasingly. “You going to punch me again?”

“If that’s how you’d prefer it,” Colt answers with a laugh, “Because I asked you so nicely?”

“You? Nice?” Logan laughs leaning closer to Colt raising his eyebrow at him.

“I’m always nice. Ask Ximena.” He stifles a laugh at the eye roll that brushes over Logan’s features, the warmth of Colt’s body rubbing against him at their closeness. “Please?” Logan rolls his eyes, before flicking Colt’s nose pushing himself off the couch. “Thanks!”

“Don’t make this a habit,” Logan replies, and Colt ignores him brushing him away with his hand off towards the kitchen where his drink sat on the counter. Logan walked quietly into the kitchen his hands in his jeans pocket looking down at the can of soda, turning it in his hand to read the label.

He never thought he’d see the day where he and Colt were willingly friends. He looks back into the living room from his spot where Colt stared at the TV his hands on his knees staring intently at the races. Logan hesitates for a second looking down at the soda in his hand and back at Colt. He hesitates for a minute longer, rolling the can over in his grip. What was he doing?

He didn’t remember how he and Colt had grown so close over the last few weeks since he and Ellie broke up. He slid into his life and Logan wasn’t even bothered anymore? He liked the dude now, maybe even more than liked as a friend. He couldn’t deny that Colt was stunning, his black hair, his built frame, and his hardened features from growing up with Kaneko still youthful and stunning.

“What’s taking so long jackass? Did you get lost?” Colt calls over his shoulder.

“Shut up.” Logan shouts back with a laugh, seeing Colt’s eye roll in his head. He picks up the pace pushing the thoughts of him and Colt out of his mind, nothing would ever come from thinking like that, he reassured himself as he plopped down onto the couch holding out Colt’s drink to him.

“Thanks dude.” He smiled, taking the can from him clicking it open and downing a long drink of it. He set the can onto the table with a sigh of delight. “Nice and refreshing.” Logan snorts at his antics getting a playful elbow in his gut as Colt falls back on the couch sitting unnecessarily close to Logan, however Logan couldn’t place whether it was his fault or Colt’s fault they were sat so close together. It’s a friendly gesture, he reminded himself taking a handful of chips out of the bag between the two plopping one into his mouth.

“Tillie Marshall is the best racer in the game right now.” Colt explains as they watch the TV, “Fabian’s giving her a run for her money though.” He folds his legs underneath himself making him more comfortable, his shoulder leaning against Logan’s solid form, Logan’s arm that rest on the back of the couch. His arm nearly wrapped around Colt’s shoulder. After a few seconds he feels Colt’s hair tickling his side of his face as he leans into him completely.

“You okay?” Logan asks looking at him.

“What?” Colt asks, noticing how close they are. “Oh, shit sorry.”

“No it’s cool. I don’t mind.” Logan smiles, pulling Colt back against him before he could completely get up letting his arm rest against Colt’s shoulder holding him close to him. Logan’s heart booms in his chest noticing the smell of Colt’s cologne on the tip of his nose and it finally hit him. “You know.”

“Hm?” Colt asks mindlessly.

“I’ve realized that you keep interrupting my daily and, holy shit, do I love it.” Logan replies, getting a look of confusion in return as Colt looks at him, letting his head fall to the side. “What’s that look for?”

“What do you mean jackass?” Colt asks with a laugh, shoving Logan’s chest.

Logan rolls his eyes with a smile, “I just meant…I don’t know man. It’s like you’re always here all the time.”

“Well, I do work here.”

“No I mean more than that. Before we would avoid each other like the black plague and now you’re always here. Toby said the other day wherever Logan is, that’s where Colt is and vice versa.”

Since when you listen to Toby?” Colt teases. “I mean, maybe I just like hanging out with you.” Colt shrugs easily, looking away from Logan, his cheeks heavy with a flush of red coloring, his hand running through his messy hair.

“Oh.” Logan suddenly felt a pang of sadness he didn’t expect, hanging out. It felt so informal, so platonic? He couldn’t help the disappointment now, he basically just admitted he liked the dude, he wanted more of a reaction. Did he feel the same? Did he not? Colt watches him unable to read his expression watching the frown on his lips. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?” Colt asks, suddenly unsure of his feelings, let alone Logan’s. His mind raced with thoughts, did Logan just admit to liking him? He felt small inside for a minute trying to understand the interaction between the pair.

“It’s not important anymore.” Logan shrugs, turning his attention back to the TV, Colt glances at the TV a racer cheering on screen for his win. His eyes drop back to Logan, the dejected smile told him everything he needed to know.

“Holy shit.” Colt murmurs after a few seconds, “You meant?”

“I think so.”

“Fuck.” Colt laughs, “I didn’t see that coming.” And he didn’t, he never would’ve thought he was in Logan’s league… like ever? He definitely felt the same way, but there was so much meddled emotion involved with Logan ending things with Ellie so soon, his own hesitation at the way they ended and his fear of being another cog in the machine for Logan to use until he gets bored of him and pushes him away.

“This is awkward now. I think I’ll go.” Logan moves to stand up, before he can get too far, he feels a hand grabbing his own urging him back to him, his eyes linger on Colt’s hopeful smile as he pulls him closer sitting on his knees on the couch to be almost eye level with Colt, his hands running down the front of his chest a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “Colt…” Colt couldn’t think straight, his mind on Logan and only Logan, his hesitations yelled at him to stop before it could go any further, damn him for never listening to his intuition.

“Don’t say anything dumbass.” Colt whispers, leaning up further. Logan’s cologne heavy on his nose as he brushes his nose against Logan’s, his head falling to the side drawing him even closer to him. Their bodies flush against one another as Colt’s hand move to brush through Logan’s hair, while Logan’s fall on his waist holding him tightly his breath labored and heavy waiting for the moment, his head leaning in to meet Colt. Leaning in their lips moments from touching, before the scuffle of the door opening and closing cause them to break apart Colt falling back onto the couch snatching his chip bag off the table while Logan turns towards the kitchen ducking his head down to avoid the gazes of their friends.

“Hey! We’re back.” Toby calls out appearing the team with a smile, “What’s going on?” Colt shrugs turning his attention to the TV ignoring his friend. Logan grabs a soda out of the kitchen before reappearing in front of Toby, handing it off to him grabbing the one tucked under his arm handing it off towards Ximena who takes it with a smile and a thank you.

“Not much, how was the shopping?” Logan questions.

“Move your ass, Colt.” Ximena laughs, pushing his legs off the couch before sitting down beside him to watch the races on TV, popping up her can of soda throwing her head back with a long drink before sighing appreciatively.

“See Logan, some people find soda refreshing.” Colt shoots Logan a wink and a smile. Ximena brushes her shoulder against his playfully with a grin scanning the information on the bottom of the TV about the races currently taking place.

“Whatever. Try drinking water once in a while.” Logan laughs turning his attention back to Toby after sharing a smile with Colt who rolls his eyes in response. Logan folds his arms over his chest as Toby talks listening to him with an interested smile, his words going in one ear and out the other as his mind races with thoughts of Colt.

“Tillie race yet?” Ximena asks.

“She’s got another one coming up.” Colt replies. Ximena nods in response going into a story she once heard about Tillie to Colt, who laughs as she talks about the story. Logan watches him from the corner of his eyes listening to Toby who jabbers on beside him. Colt glances back at Logan who smiles at him, Colt teeth biting into his lower lip before turning back to Ximena a flush of red on his cheeks listening to her story.

[fallen029]

Timing

To be fair, his decision to break it off was rooted mostly in the fact that Mirajane, for the most part, worked seven days a week, open to close, at the guild hall as the head barmaid. That really didn't leave much time for Laxus. Which was only pushed even further to extremes by the fact that, as an S-Class wizard, Laxus frequently left on high risk jobs that took forever to finish or at least travel back and forth from.

Life was just too complex for the two of them to ever honestly get any free time together. It strained their relationship in almost every way and, really, at times Laxus wondered if there was one or not. All it really meant to him was that he wasn't allowed to spend time with other women which sucked, but wouldn't be so bad had he at least been able to spend that time with Mirajane. Honestly, one day out of a month wasn't working out for him. For either of them, he was sure. Which is why, after a year of toying around, he figured it was time to face the facts.

They just weren't going to work out.

Not that their relationship didn't have it's good qualities, because it certainly did. Laxus really liked being around Mirajane. She made him feel comfortable. They could just sit around on the few times they got to spend together, just laying around in bed, talking about nothing and he was content. Or when he got her some time off the bar to go out on an actual date, that was even better. They didn't have tons of things in common, but she always told him that that was okay; it just meant that they completed one another. She brought a bubbly bliss to his life that he rarely had. And he allowed her to be dark and angry and just vent. She finally really had someone to vent to.

But a friend could solve both those problems for one another. She could be his friend and bring joy to his life while he could just listen to her sometimes, up at the bar, complain about life, and they could both actually find relationships with people that were beneficial to their lifestyles.

Because Laxus liked Mirajane. A lot. And she liked him. A lot. But they'd both had better significant others and, fine, the sex wasn't bad, but it definitely was rushed, most of the time, because she had to get to work or he was going to go train or something else was coming up, and then the amount of time between it was just…

In short, things were too hard for the two of them to be together.

Laxus dreaded the entire time, having to break it off. He wasn't exactly sure how to do it. Most of them women he dated, he didn't care so much about (and certainly didn't have to around ever again) them, and therefore he'd kinda just either avoid them until they got the message or tell them flat out that the wasn't interest in the whole monogamy thing and if they still wanted to, like, hook up, he was chill with that.

It resulted in a lot of pissed off women. Which was a good thing he was a traveling mage and met lots of other women. Else he'd have worked through the list of all the women he knew by then and probably had to die alone.

Or try harder at relationships.

Both sounded equally as horrible.

When it came to Mirajane though (and one other woman that he'd been really serious about, when he was nineteen, that he had to actually put thought into breaking up with or trying to work thing out; you know, because things like that seem to be the most serious at nineteen), Laxus actually had to take some time out to think things over. Mirajane, as stated before, worked mostly up at the bar. And he definitely couldn't do it there.

But at the same time, he didn't want to do it on one of her off days. They were extremely rare and, if she took one off just to be with him, he'd feel like a complete and utter ass if he broke up with her when she took a day off, just to be with him.

So it had to be an organic time in which Mirajane wasn't at work, but she also wasn't off, and Laxus hadn't promised to take her somewhere or made ti seem like they were going to be doing something with one another that day.

The only time he could think of in which that would work was when he knew Mira had breakfast, every Friday, at this little restaurant, all on her own. She called it her time to reflect and think, but Laxus and her siblings knew it was mostly just the time when she was able to get away from everyone and the others all knew to leave her alone for a bit. Considering her life was either spent up at the bar full of people, taking care of the ailing Makarov, or hanging around her house with her siblings/sleeping over at Laxus', just an hour to herself before she had to get down to work, where she could drink coffee and eat breakfast in peace was far less than what Mirajane deserved.

And Laxus was so sorry that he was going to ruin that, mar that time Mirajane had by not only impeding on her alone time, but most importantly ruining the relationship that, while he was sure she realized too wasn't working, she had no concept of possibly ending.

"Dragon!" She was really happy to see him too as he approached her in the back of the tiny restaurant, immediately taking a seat at her table. "What are you doing here?"

Mirajane, at the moment, was eating her favorite, pancakes with chocolate chips and a whipped cream smiley face (Laxus would make it at his place too, for her, the few times he made breakfast instead of her) along with a glass of orange juice. Laxus figured, when it was over, he'd go ahead and pay her bill. You know, to make amends for...breaking her heart or whatever. If that's what he was doing.

He honestly wasn't too sure.

"Hey, demon." Laxus scratched at the back of his head. "I just, uh, came to see you. To talk to you."

"Ooh. Talk, huh?" Mirajane even giggled before nodding down at her plate. "You want some-"

"It's not...funny, Mira. Or fun. Or… I have something serious I want to talk about."

That got her to blink, grin fading as she stared only at him. They were the only customers in the place, other than an old man on the other side of the restaurant, sitting alone and reading the paper. Laxus didn't feel as if Mirajane was the type to make a big scene of things, but if she was, at least it would be somewhere like that.

"Serious," Mirajane repeated slowly, setting her fork down. "What-"

"You know, Mira, that I really do care about you. Honestly. And I...sorta wrote this all down, if you don't mind, so just let me glance at this-"

"Laxus, what are you doing?" she asked as he reached into his pocket to pull out a little sheet of paper. At her words though, he realized how lame that was and finally hung his head with a sigh.

"I don't… Um...I just… We're not working out, Mirajane, and it's not your fault or my fault and I'm not trying to-"

"Are you...breaking up with me?"

"Well that's a really harsh way of-"

"Over breakfast?"

"It's not like dinner or lunch would have been any bet-"

"Laxus, I can't… What even-"

"Nothing happened," he assured her and he was trying really hard to continue staring her in the eyes, but was fearful, extremely, of tears. Because he knew Mirajane. Even a simple insult could send her into hysterics. He was nearly certain that a break up would definitely bring about some sort of crying. "And that's just it. I can't...do this anymore, Mirajane."

"Do what? What have we been-"

"Doing nothing. We don't see one another frequently and I've been...I haven't cheated on you or anything, but if we kept going I-"

"Okay, Laxus. Just-"

"No, I'm not trying to make this-"

"I said okay." But she wasn't. And, shaking her head, Mirajane got to her feet, refusing to look at him. Laxus didn't really know what to do (comforting her would seem kind of pointless, considering he was the one that was hurting her, but ignoring her seemed extremely callous which is what he'd been trying to avoid), so he only sat there, watching as she started to leave some jewels on the table, but he only shook his head.

"I'll pay," he told her softly. "I-"

"I don't want you to."

"Mirajane-"

"If you want to break up, Laxus, fine. Just go." She glanced up from her tiny purse then to give him the deadest stare she could pull off. "I don't care. It stupid to try and be together anyways."

Which he couldn't be too mad about. It was stupid. He'd said as much himself, hadn't he? And it was stupid, regardless what either of them thought. They both lived very busy lives that, while intertwined in a very basic way, were also extremely independent of one another. And that wasn't going to be changing any time soon, so if he wanted more time with someone, it was going to have to be someone other than Mirajane. And that was just that.

But he didn't leave. Just sat there as, finally, in a huff, Mirajane tossed some jewels down on the table and walked off. There it was. What everyone had warned Laxus about the second he and Mirajane got involved. For so long, he'd been just a neutral part of Fairy Tail, but it was back to the bad guy. The villain. A role he'd worked so hard to wash clean of himself, only to somehow find himself tangled up with Fairy Tail's sweetheart which inevitably lead to breaking said heart.

Because, you know, that was the story of Laxus' life. Have a mother and father? Lose them both permanently from your life while he's young. Have a grandfather that's the Master of the coolest guild ever in existence? Forever be on his bad side and never be trustworthy in his eyes again by trying to take over said guildhall. Land the hottest woman in, once more, that same guild? Jump into things too soon and ruin it before it really had a chance to get off the ground.

So he didn't go back to Fairy Tail for a bit. Stayed for away from Magnolia for a good three days. Went out. Drank. Tried to hookup with women, but felt a bit like shit for it, so backed out of it each time before things went too far.

About a week of that and he was pretty much ready to go home and get a job. He was hoping against hope that maybe Mira wouldn't be working when he got to the hall (they'd dated for over a year and he still didn't fully know her schedule, it changed that much), but of course that couldn't be the case, because if it were, what would be the point of anything? Huh? If life just let you have small victories at times? What would be the point?

Heh.

The thing was, however, that Mirajane, who happened to be the only one working (even Gramps wasn't around), didn't yell at him. Avoid him. Or even do anything that might hint to the fact that they had been dating very seriously up until seven days ago, when he broke up with her suddenly during her alone time.

Her breakfast alone time.

The horror.

"Hi, Laxus," she greeted before he even fully approached the bar. The man's eyes were wide then and, slowly, he came to stand in front of her.

"Uh, hey, Mirajane." Scratching at the back of his neck, he tried, "Look, I-"

"Some new S-Class jobs were just posted," she said, bouncing just a bit. "So you better snatch them up before Erza does. Or even me."

"Yeah, that's great, but-"

"Did you want something to eat? Or drink? Should I start you a tab?"

"N-No, I just-"

"Well, I'm the only one on the job right now, so if you need anything, just tell me, huh?" She bounced, just a bit then, before moving to walk away from the bar. Across the hall, Macao was waving her over, holding an empty mug up in the air as he continued to laugh along at some story Romeo was telling him about a recent job. "Coming, Macao," she called before, glancing at Laxus and saying, "Talk to you later, Laxus."

And that was it. The big first meeting after the break up.

Huh. He kinda felt cheated.

None of the Thunder Legion seemed to be around, so Laxus only headed over to the board to pick out a job before he got roped into a conversation with someone. And, when he took it to Mirajane, she was back over at the bar, whipping up a drink for someone, but took the job from him with a bright smile.

"Alright, Laxus," she said after glancing it over. "I'll file it immediately. Have a safe trip."

"Thanks. But Mirajane-"

"Laxus." Her tone was still so upbeat too as she handed him the flier back. "I'm trying to be mature and diplomatic about this. If you can't do that, then please, just walk away. We both have to a part of this guild; if this is the consequence of things going awry, so be it. But don't keep poking at something you don't want clean up the mess of."

And what could he say to that? Only a mumbled, "Alright. See you then," before turning to walk off. He could feel Mirajane's eyes on him as he did so, but didn't turn back to glance at her.

Then he left on a very long and tedious job. It helped keep his mind off things, and he did sort of need the jewels, anyhow. And the long walk back home after it (he never used the train on the way home and very rarely on the way there; motion sickness was no joke), Laxus had a good chance to review all that had gone down.

It hadn't been a spur of the moment thing. Not in any regard. He'd thought about it for awhile, whether it was just always in the back of his mind or he was honestly considering it. He and Mirajane were good together, fine, in a lot of ways. Very good. But in the important ones, such as the time they were able to spend together, they just weren't. And it wasn't fair to her, for him to be gone all the time, leaving her to be lonely and in the face of everyone else's budding (in her mind) romances, anymore than it was fair to him, to have to travel and be away from her and alone, constantly in the face of temptation.

Timing. That was what it was. The timing was just all off. Skewed. Most of Mirajane's life was filled with staying in Magnolia, where she was helping the ailing Makarov deal with the guildhall, while Laxus was filled with fun and adventure and intrigue. The parts were opposite, but the timing in which they could be put together was just off.

Now, that didn't mean that one day, maybe, if they never got with anyone else, that Laxus couldn't see he and Mirajane… Because he could. Honest, they had gotten along very well. Extremely well. Should he somehow find himself around more or her find herself less grounded in Magnolia and Fairy Tail, then...maybe something could…

But at the moment, it just needed to be put on a hold. All of it. And he was ready to believe that.

Until, you know, while he was camping out one night on his way home when Freed connected with him through the lacrima to inform him that Makarov was officially handing down the hall to Erza Scarlet.

Which was fine! It was great! It was grand! Laxus wasn't jealous. No, seriously, no sarcasm. He didn't want to be the Master anymore. He just didn't. It was something that he wanted in his youth, but he was growing up. He had grown up. And, honestly, if he wanted to be a master, he'd start his own damn guild and run it the way he wanted.

Fairy Tail was something that had to be handled in a certain way. It had a legacy. A legacy that, should Laxus inherit, could possibly be construed as just being handed over to him.

No. Laxus didn't want Fairy Tail. He loved Fairy Tail, thought the world of it, and would hate to one day have to leave it, but ultimately knew, when he was finally ready to settle down, it would be in an unknown town and to start his own dynasty, his own way, where the name Dreyar meant nothing and he could build his reputation through prowess and leadership alone.

The odd thing was, however, when he arrived in Magnolia, he found out that Mirajane was apparently having the exact same thoughts. Only, her intention was to get things started a hell of a lot sooner.

"What do you mean you won't serve me?" he complained as Lisanna, who was behind the bar when he arrived, flatly told him with a slight glare that he would be getting no beer as long as she was on duty.

"It's your fault that Mirajane's running off."

"What are you talking about? Running off where?" And, even though over a month had passed then since the break up, Laxus still felt a ping of jealousy. "And with who?"

"With no one, dummy," the youngest Strauss complained, still giving him such a heavy glare that Laxus almost felt as if he wasn't dealing with Lisanna at all. The two had had a very good relationship during the course of he and Mirajane's and, fine, he figured that they wouldn't have as tight a bond after he broke up with her sister, but the overwhelming hostility, when Mira clearly felt none, was a bit much. "She's leaving the guild and going to start her music career."

Which was the first Laxus had heard of that. "Music what?"

Lisanna only narrowed her eyes before glaring off and refusing to say another word.

Which is what everyone in the hall seemed to be doing to him. Other than the Thunder Legion who ushered him over to their table and immediately took to explaining. Ever, for obvious reasons (though she pretended as if they didn't exist; err, rather, her very extensive relationship with a certain male Strauss didn't exist), was very much so in the know.

Mirajane was rather doleful over the break up, as would be expected, and complained to both Lucy and Lisanna frequently that it just didn't make sense. Sure, she and Laxus didn't spend a lot of time together, but they seemed to thoroughly enjoy the time that they did get. They fought, of course, but never anything vicious. And he seemed to be very interested in her. What could have gone wrong?

The longer Mirajane had to mope about it though, without him being around to question (though he had a feeling it wouldn't have mattered either way; Mira was going to pretend like everything was alright until she finally imploded), which led to her thinking about many other things.

Including, of course, the fact that years were wasting away and she was still nothing more than a stupid barmaid. And no matter how much Elf, Lisanna, or Lucy tried to tell her otherwise, it didn't matter. Because if that was the way she felt, that was just the way she was going to feel.

Evergreen didn't know, of course, because Elfman didn't know about it and therefore couldn't tell her, but it was actually a rare and very intense conversation that Mirajane had with Cana that spurred on the thoughts that Mira was having.

"I mean," the drunkard said one day as Mirajane was closing up the place and they were the last two in there, "if you feel like you're not doing something here, you should move on. I know I would."

"It's not that simple."

"It is that simple."

"No."

"Yes."

"Cana-"

"I'm not saying it's easy," she clarified, staring forlornly down at her empty beer mug. "Nothing's every easy. It wasn't easy for me to talk to Gildarts. Or for you to come back here after Lisanna… And Master's never had it easy, all the time he's had to rebuild the guildhall. So why would it be any easier for you to leave?"

"The questions wasn't easy. It was whether or not it's simple. And how sober are you?"

Cana gave her a look from where she was seated, at the bar, before saying, "I got here late, remember? Just got in from a job."

"Not enough time then, to get drunk."

"Not for me, anyways."

They both shared a grin, at that, before Mirajane, who was busy sweeping, only said, "I can't leave Lisanna and Elf. I-"

"Why not? It's not like you're all kids anymore. And it wouldn't be forever; you could just take your guitar and try to go make it for a few months, in Fiore. If it all blows up, then fine, come back home. And if not, you could still come back home, just to visit. Or even tend bar every now and then. Whatever. But you don't wanna spend forever thinking about something and never doing it. Fairy Tail's not going anywhere. But your chance of actually pulling off being a singer definitely is."

Mira only blinked. Then, with a slight grin, she leaned on the broom as she stared over at the other woman.

"Whatever amount it is that you've drank tonight, Cana," she remarked, "must have been the perfect balance."

"Really?" Cana seemed to be the more depressive one then as she only shrugged her shoulders a bit. "I feel as if I haven't drank near enough."

"And therein lies the key."

But it wasn't like Cana was the only one pushing her to go. Lucy, as well, had a rather small hand in it, as she didn't right out tell Mirajane that, if she was dissatisfied with her current state, to go try something drastically new, but she did mention that she too wanted something for herself. She wanted to be a Fairy Tail mage and, admittedly through some pure coincidences (though arguably fate), she found herself achieving such a thing. But it wasn't in her comfort zone that she got there.

Fairy Tail was a safety net for Mirajane, fine, and it would always be that, but if she was ready to stretch her boundaries a bit, who could really blame her? Honestly?

All Evergreen knew of the story, however, was that Mirajane had been thinking for a long time of, at the very least, taking some time off from the hall and exploring Magnolia for a bit, her guitar and hopefully playing it a part of that, of course.

Laxus was a bit floored at that and, still a bit dazed over not only Erza taking command of the hall, but also the idea that he might have played a bigger role in Mirajane leaving than the others realized.

What if she decided that they couldn't stay at the same guild together? And that she had to leave because, like, she couldn't see him out, living his life, while she was miserable because she honestly thought they had something great? Because, again, it was great. The timing was just off.

If that made sense.

But the thing was, Laxus didn't know what to do about the whole thing. It wasn't as if he could just go to Mirajane and flat out ask her if the reason she was making such a drastic change in her life was because he'd broken up with her. If that didn't sound like a complete and utter narcissistic thing to say, then Laxus didn't know what did.

So he said nothing. To Mirajane, anyways. Knowing how flighty the woman was (even before their year of dating, he'd known), he figured that bothering with her would get him nowhere. Rather, he'd go to the only other person besides her siblings that could possibly get Mirajane to stay.

"What do you mean you told her to go?"

"What else do you want me to say, boy?" Makarov griped as he and his grandson had tea out on the back patio of his house. "I told her to go."

"Why," Laxus grumbled, "would you tell her that? Huh? If anyone, you should want her here."

"And why should I want that?"

"Because she takes care of you, Gramps!"

"Does she?" He gave his grandson a hard look. "Last I checked, she took care of my guild. Which, with Erza in control of now, needs far less overseeing by a young set of eyes."

"She fucking feeds you, Gramps," his grandson said through ground teeth, trying his hardest not to yell. "And cleans your house. And waters all these damn plants!"

He gestured that time, around the patio, where an assortment of potted plants and a garden sat out in the yard. Makarov looked around at them with a slight shrug.

"I never rightly liked them to begin with."

"W-What?"

"And surely my adoring grandson can come over and keep me company."

"What are you-"

"Clean my house."

"No way! I-"

"Bring me my dinner."

"That is not happening."

"Why not?" Makarov lifted his tea up to his mouth. "It's you that ran off my woman."

Narrowing his eyes then, Laxus said, "First off, she was mine-"

"Mine first."

"That's gross. She was a child to you first."

"Oh, shut up, Laxus." Huffing, Makarov said simply, "It's bad enough that you've run Mirajane off-"

"You told her to go!"

"Well, I couldn't very well tell a woman that I'm not related to that I want her to put her life on hold even longer than she has to care for me in my ailing days." Makarov held his head up higher. "Besides, I just let Mirajane care for me because it means that I get to spend time with her."

"You know, you can't perv on my girlfriend."

"You," Makarov remarked with a frown, "told her that you were through with her."

"Yeah, well, apparently now so have you."

"No." And his grandfather seemed pretty earnest about that. "I did not. She expressed to me that she wished to move on with her life and I shared the same sentiment. Then I said that I was considering handing over the hall to Erza and, that if I did that, she could do what she wished to do. She is an S-Class mage, Laxus; if she wishes to travel, the rest of you do all the time. Why should Mirajane be confined to Magnolia?"

"I never said she should," he grumbled. "I just meant that… She's not thinking. She-"

"You do not wished to be blamed," Makarov clarified before taking a sip of tea. After, he shrugged once more. "What difference would it make to you if you were or if you weren't? And believe me, I can assure you, it has nothing to do with you."

"It had somethin' to do with me," Laxus grumbled, looking around at the plants once more, though that time it was just so that he didn't have to keep looking at his grandfather. "She would have never brought it up if we were still dating. Ergo, I have something to do-"

"Ear go where?"

"What?"

"What?"

Their eyes met again as the two men only stared at one another. With a roll of his eyes finally, Laxus took a long sip from his drink before grumbling something under his breath about how annoying the man was.

No debate.

But then again, Makarov thought the same thing about him.

"I just don't want Mirajane to go off on this...adventure and something go wrong and me have to deal with, like, the guilt or whatever."

"If you want to hold her back from doing something," Makarov tsked, "because of your fear of your own guilt, then perhaps you' should really think about if you care about Mirajane at all."

Well, that was no help. But then again, Laxus never expected the man to be much of that. He seemed to help and advise every single young guild member except his own damn grandson. It was so aggravating!

But anyways, Laxus didn't have forever and a day to dwell on that. Mirajane, as he found out, was leaving in two days and, well, he only had that long to figure out just what he was going to do about it. So he thought. And thought. And worked out. Slept. Ate. Thought some more. About other things. Then about Mirajane again. And, somehow, all that time passed over to the day that Mira was leaving and, well, Laxus hadn't really figured anything out yet.

So he went over to the Strauss house to see if maybe he could speak to Mirajane before she left and maybe absolve any and all guilt by wiping his hands of the whole thing. If she went after he talked to her, then fine; it was her fault. Not his. She chose to go. Didn't feel forced or anything of the sort.

"Go fuck yourself."

Instead, he was greeted at the door by, quite possibly, the first curse word Lisanna had ever uttered. At the very least, it was certainly the first she'd ever said in his presence. Laxus was so shocked that when the door was just shut in his face, he only stood there.

What had just happened?

"Lisanna, who was that?" he heard Mirajane call from somewhere in the house.

"Wrong address."

"Well, considering I heard what you said to them, I'd sure hope not."

Meh.

Laxus knocked again. Then waited, hands clasped behind his back, until, that time, Mirajane answered the door.

She wasn't surprised to see him, it seemed, though he figured Lisanna's attitude had been a pretty big tip off.

"I'm busy, Laxus," she said, not even offering him a chance to come in. "I'm about to-"

"Leave. I know." Then he shrugged. "Can I just have a minute?"

Mira hesitated, just for a moment, before slowly backing up. "Sure, let's-"

"Away from your sister." Laxus tried hard not to look off. "Please."

Slowly, the woman came to step out on the front porch, pulling the door shut behind her.

"Come on," she said, walking passed Laxus, being sure not to touch him. "I want to go see if I can find my dog to say goodbye anyways."

Which meant they had to walk up and down the alleyways, calling out for old Alexandria to show his ugly mug. After a good minute of that, Laxus finally found his voice and spoke.

"You know, Mirajane, I wanted to talk to you before you, uh, left because I've been...concerned about a few things."

"Is that so?" She hardly seemed to be listening to him though, focused rather on the searching behind every trash bin and anything else that the animal could be hiding under.

"Yeah, I just… Mirajane, you aren't...doing this whole thing on a whim, are you?"

"What whole thing?"

"Mira-"

"You mean the leaving thing?"

He tried hard not to roll his eyes. It didn't work. "Yes, Mirajane. The leaving thing. The...being a singer thing. I mean, what is that? Didn't you grow out of that?"

"Laxus, I've told you about it before, when we were still…" She glanced up at him. "I've always wanted to go travel around Fiore and try and play bars and get a following and… It's just my dream. And I want to do it. I don't have anything holding me here. At all. Things are peaceful and I just… What difference does it make?" She even shrugged. "We are broken up, you know."

"I know. I just-"

"What difference does it make to-"

"I still care about you, woman. It wasn't a lie, when I would say that," he assured her. "I love you, Mirajane."

"Laxus, don't-"

"I do. I really do. I've told you that before. Why are you-"

"Because we're-"

"Just because it's over doesn't mean that I didn't love you. Or that I don't love you now." He kicked at the ground. "And that's why I want to make sure that you've really thought this through. That you're not just some woman to me, you know. I want to still, you know, be close. Or at least friendly. I-"

"It's not me, it's you, and you still want to be friends? Come on, Laxus, be for real. What's next? You just don't want to hold me back?"

"Well, I don't, but-"

"You're really full of it, you know that?"

"I'm only trying to-"

"Oh! Alexandria!"

And there was the stupid mutt, reared on on his back haunches as he stuck his snout in an open trashcan. At the sound of Mirajane's voice, however, the wiry old pooch jumped back and rushed right over, skidding to a stop as Mirajane knelt down to wrap her arms around the filthy beast.

Yuck.

"Oh, sweetie, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and that I care about you and that even if you don't see me for awhile, it's okay, because I'll be home soon."

When Laxus closed his eyes, he was able to pretend she was saying all that to him. Only the ever present stench of, erm, Alexandria, was a kind of a fantasy ruiner, but whatever.

"And Elf promised me that he'd feed you," Mirajane went on, "and put water in that little bowl for you. Oh, Alex, I wish I could take you with me, but I can't. I just have to go try something on my own for awhile. And I know you'll be fine here. You're always fine with here. With or without me. We just both wish that it could be with me, huh?"

Mmmm. If only the stench wasn't there (and she would stop using the dog's name). If only.

Clearing his throat loudly, Laxus got Mirajane to stare up at him before saying, "There's something that I, uh, have to say, Mira."

"You've been saying a whole lot, honestly, Lax, but-"

"I just… You know, you ran off before I got to tell you, really, why we were breaking up. I mean, really tell you. And I just… Hear me out, huh? Before you leave?"

She was still down on her knees, petting Alexandria, but did nod at him slightly, as if signaling for him to continue.

"It's just that I… The reason I broke up with you was all timing. You're always working and I'm always gone and we never get a chance to be together. Once or twice a month is just not cutting it for me anymore. And even if I took time off, you'd still be up at the bar, working and that just wouldn't do anything. We're great for one another in every way, but that."

"I wouldn't say great, but-"

"You know, woman, you aren't making this easy."

"I'm sorry, Laxus, but you're the one that broke up with me. Remember?" She went back to her dog. "That's not something that you can just pretend didn't happen. I was really caught off guard. I never thought you'd-"

"I didn't want to hurt you. I just-"

"Oh, please." Mira rolled her own eyes that time. "You didn't hurt me."

"You don't have to be strong for me, you know. I-"

"I've been broken up with before, Laxus. Not to mention I have sort of lost my parents and sister before, so I think feeling hurt about a silly little relationship-"

"Why are you being like this?" he complained. "Huh? I came over here to make amends or something and you're acting like nothing's wrong. We broke up, Mirajane. After being very serious about one another. So I just don't get what you're gaining by acting indifferent towards that fact."

Not a lot, honestly. It was rather hard too. But she could kind of tell what Laxus was attempting to do. He was trying to work his way back in as a friend or something of the like. Maybe even still someone that he could sleep with on occasion. She knew he did that with women at times, when things didn't work out.

But Mirajane didn't want that. At all. She honestly had felt something deep for the man and for him to (in her mind) so callously just end it (again, over breakfast, no less, like the rest of her day wouldn't be screwed because of that) without out warning, only to come back and ask to be friends was just a slap in the face, really. If he didn't care enough about her to work through their 'timing' issues, or at least just bring them up to her in a serious way then, maybe, they could work through them, then why should she care?

To just dump her over it, when he claimed that they were so 'great' together was unbelievable to the woman.

Which is why she just wasn't going to put up with it. At all.

Laxus' issue, however, was that she wasn't listening. Or at least not understanding. Maybe he wasn't explaining correctly? Either way, what he wanted her to know just wasn't coming out right.

He was trying to tell her that, yes, time had been why he broke up with her, but he didn't feel as if it needed to be permanent. There would come a time, he was certain, when she would have more time to spend with him and he with her, and if something better hadn't happened in either of their lives when that time rolled around, then maybe they could entertain the idea of getting back together.

And yeah, sure, late night urges and occasionally hooking up between those periods would be nice, but not expected.

Desired heavily, but…

"I'm," Mirajane said as she got to her feet and, realizing she didn't have food, Alexandria went back on his search for some (that trashcan over there looked promising), "not doing anything, Laxus. At all. Other than getting ready to take off. So if there's something you have to say to me, something real, say it now because-"

"We broke up over time, Mirajane, and now you're going to have a lot of it on your hands and-"

"Oh, Laxus, please tell me you're not-"

"-and I just don't want you to be doing this to try and get back with me or something because that's just dumb."

"-going to ask me to get back together are you?"

And then they both just stared at one another. Blushing, Mirajane looked off first as Laxus only coughed.

"I have to-"

"Mira, no, wait, I-"

"For what? Huh? What could I possibly-"

"I'm not saying let's not get back together. I just don't want you to be doing this so that we can," he complained as she only glared at him. "I mean, hey, if the whole thing was over time and you actually did just want to get away from the hall and now can spend more time with me, then-"

"So basically," Mira began, voice taking that tone with him (he hated that tone), "you've gone out now, done whatever it is you wanted to do with whoever it is that you wanted to while we were broken up and now want to come back to me and-"

"What? No. I just told you this is about time. Solely. I didn't break up with you to...sleep with someone else. I-"

"Don't lie, Laxus."

"I'm not."

That time her roll eye was her angry one. "Oh, whatever."

"I haven't. Seriously-"

"Laxus, just tell me. Because we can get over that."

"I didn't-"

"Or at least talk about it. Because that's kind of a low thing to-"

"Mira, I'm telling you that I didn't-"

"It's not that serious. I mean, I've slept with someone since-"

"You've what?" Laxus didn't care then that they were in the alley or that other people were around to hear. Mira had missed her chance to make a scene, but he was going to be taking his. "When? What are you-"

"Oh, shut up, Laxus. Like you didn't sleep with-"

"I'm telling you, woman, that I didn't."

Mira blinked. "Honestly?"

"Honestly!"

"Oh." Her arms, which had become crossed, fell to her sides then. "W-Well-"

"Who did you sleep with?"

"Laxus-"

"It's only been a month!"

"It's been a lot more then a month."

"Hardly!"

"It wouldn't matter if it had been a day, Laxus," she reminded with a frown. "You're the one that broke up with me, remember? Not the other way around. Not even close."

He deflated a bit. Then, lips stuck out as if he were pouting, he said, "Do I know him?"

"What difference-"

"I do, don't I?"

"Lax-"

"Does it go to the guild? Who was it? Who?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Just tell me-"

"We're broken up." She gave him a harsh look then. "Per your decision. So you don't get to know things like that, Lax. I'm sorry."

"Oh, now you're sorry? After going out and sleeping with someone-"

"Which I have a right to do, you know."

She most definitely did. No denying it. None.

However, Laxus didn't have to like it. He could respect it. Couldn't do anything to stop it. And would even admit that it had to happen sometime, so why not then? But that didn't mean he couldn't feel a bit of a tug of possessiveness.

"I have to go, Laxus," Mirajane said after they both just stood there for a moment, silently. He didn't want to let her go, but if she was that done with him, then what could he say?

He didn't even raise a hand to wave goodbye when she did before turning to walk off, back for her home, leaving him in that alleyway, mostly alone, although Alexandria was still lingering around, searching out a tasty treat.

So he went home. And Mirajane went...wherever she was going. Huh. Not only had he dropped the ball on getting her to stay, he also forgot to ask where she was headed.

Not that things would have worked anyhow, he reminded himself frequently. Mirajane wasn't just taking time off from the bar; she was leaving indefinitely to go start another time consuming thing that just wouldn't mesh well with a traveling S-Class wizard.

The only thing for Laxus to do was to let Mirajane go, both physically and mentally. So he did. Heard random tidbits about her up at the hall or from Evergreen and, when he and Lisanna finally made a shaky amends, it was her about six months later that told him that Mirajane would be back in town in the coming days.

"Honestly?" He was holding a job flier which she was waiting to take from his hands, so that she could process it, but Laxus wasn't giving it up then.

"Yep," Lisanna said with the nod of her head as she continued to hold her hand out, waiting for him to give her the request form. He still didn't.

"Well, do you know the actual day she says she'll be back here?" He glanced down at the job before back at her. "Or-"

"I really doubt she wants to see you, Laxus."

"What?" Then he snarled at her, just enough to get the youngest Strauss to giggle. He always liked making Lisanna giggle. When she'd been mad at him was worse than breaking up with Mirajane. He didn't know Lisanna well when she they were young, but when she'd died… He just enjoyed having her back too much to ever fight with her. "I didn't say nothin' about seein' your filthy sister."

"She's only filthy because she slept with you."

"Hey-"

Giggling even more, Lisanna finally snatched the job, though it was to go tack it back up then. With a grin, she said, "Guess who she's taking with her when she leaves?"

Laxus leaned against the bar, staring into the deep blues that Lisanna shared with her sister, though not to nearly the same intensity.

"I'm guessin' since your brother's still being jerked around by Evergreen, Cana's a drunk, Erza's the Master, Gramps is too old, Lucy comes with the baggage a la Natsu and Happy, and Mirajane's out of close friends after that, I'm guessin'...her dog?"

"Laxus-"

"You?" he asked seriously that time. Adding a snort, he said, "What good would you do for Mirajane, out on the road?"

"She's actually doing very well, thank you very much, with her music." Then Lisanna grinned down at the job request. "Or at least she's getting some bars to let her play frequently."

"Mmmm."

"And she wants someone there with her. You know, someone she knows. Really knows. And I'm tired of playing barmaid."

"Already?" he asked. "After your sister put in so many good years?"

"I'm not like Mirajane. This place bores me to tears." Lisanna glanced down at herself then before mumbling, "And I don't pull in nearly as many tips as Sis."

Reaching out, Laxus tapped her on the head before straightening up. "Yeah, well, I'm sure you'll be a good person to keep her safe on the road. You know, the person that's scariest transformation is a giant bunny-"

"I'll have you know that my feline takeover is very threatening."

So, even though he'd been planning on getting out of town for awhile, Laxus hunkered down in Magnolia and waited for Mirajane to come strolling on through. And then he waited three more days, after finding out she was there because, hey, he wasn't desperate.

Just lonely. Sort of. Even six months out from their relationship, Laxus had to admit that things were still kind of falling back into place. For over a year his life had been structured around being with Mirajane and the little things that they would do together. He'd thought that without her, he'd be able to get right back to what he'd done before her, but it just wasn't true.

Mirajane really took care of Laxus in a way that he didn't realize until it was all over. Yeah, sure, fine, they didn't get to spend a lot of time alone together. At all. But up at the hall, when he'd come in, she'd always spend her breaks with him. Knew his drink order by heart. Cooked his steak just right. Never burnt his bacon the way the others did because she realized just what 'extra crispy' meant when it came to him.

And man if she didn't take care of his apartment for him while he was away. His fridge would be stocked when he got in and his sheets were changed far more regularly with her staying over there. She made sure his clothes actually made it into the closet and dresser, made sure his mail got taken care of while he was out, and always was over, even when she worked all night, when he came in to rub his back because it had been getting tight as of late, when he wasn't out on a job.

Which yeah, pretty much sounded like extremely shallow reasons to miss someone, but it wasn't like that. Not really. It was more of her understanding just what he needed when he was home and doing it, without being asked, because she enjoyed that. Taking care of others. Of him. She always had. And he appreciated it. All of it.

He just appreciated it even more when it was, you know, gone. And she was gone.

Laxus missed other stuff about Mirajane too, of course. Just being around her relaxed him, for some reason, which he desperately needed in his life. And she listened to him. Fully. Listened when he griped about how annoying others were and, unlike the Thunder Legion, would actually talk him through his feelings.

Just why did it piss him off when the others were goofing off? Or when one of the lowly members came back unsuccessful from a job? What made him so upset at the sight of Natsu and his cohorts breaking things in the hall? What difference did it make to him if Makarov was being too lenient on the others?

Or even things away from the hall. Like, why was it that he had such a hard time saying it? That he loved her? When he kept insisting he did, but would sort of choke on the words as they came out? And that time when he got really upset, on the anniversary of his mother's death, when she took off just so that they could sit around and not talk at all about it until the very end, when she got him to open up about a lot of shit that he'd never tell anyone else.

And then suddenly, without even considering what losing all that might mean to the daily flow of his life, he just cut it out, because they weren't getting enough time together. Actual time. Dates. Free days where neither of them had anything to do.

Six months out, he felt a tad foolish for that. Hearing that Mirajane was doing so well on her side of the break up didn't help him feel any better either. Maybe less guilty, but no less regretful.

Not that things were miserable for him. He kinda did regain some of his freedom. Came and went as he pleased, answered to no one, slept around again without any concern. That was all great.

Just...not having someone there for him, waiting back at home, no matter what, kinda...sucked.

In a major way.

All of that was in mind when he showed up to the Strauss house that day Mirajane was in town. Only, when he did arrive, he found that he wasn't the only one there. Rather, the last people on the face of Earthland that he wanted to see were.

"Hey, Laxus! You come to send Lisanna off by fighting me?"

Natsu. His cat. Lucy. Yep. Last people. Not even exaggerating.

Laxus didn't have time to focus on them though. Rather, his attention turned to Lisanna, who was standing out there with them, a duffel bag at her feet, clearly packed to head out.

"You're leaving today?" was all he asked, quite dumbly. "You and Mira?"

Lisanna was actually trying to soak up the last few Natsu moments she was getting then and only frowned as he walked across their front lawn and over to the porch. It was bad enough that she was having to share those moments with Lucy and Happy (who, don't get her wrong, she was going to miss a whole bunch too, but still; Natsu was Natsu), but now Laxus too?

"Mirajane's inside, Laxus," she tried hard not to snap as she said. "So-"

"Nope." The front door opened. "Now I'm out here too."

"Mira." Laxus coughed then, just from the sight of her, into his hand and Happy, who had secretly been hoping for some sort of love triangle to finally come to its head between Lisanna, Lucy, and Natsu (he'd been hoping for this for a long time yet still wasn't sure how he'd weather the aftermath), quickly abandoned ship and turned his attention into the next best thing; whatever the hell was about to go down between the eldest Strauss and Laxus. "There you are."

She walked right down the steps, bypassing the others to go stand in front of him. "Here I am."

"You look...nice."

And she did. Honest. Time off had done Mirajane a world of good. Her smile didn't seem so plastered on, her hair was down in that way that Laxus thought was so hot, and when she looked him in the eyes, there were no signs of tiredness at all. He had no idea how much this had to do with just being home for a week or if traveling as a musician was somehow less stressful than running (because, honestly, Makarov hadn't run it in far longer than anyone was willing to admit) a guildhall.

"Thank you," Mirajane giggled, smiling brightly up at him.

A beat passed in which they both heard Lisanna begin, once more, her long goodbyes to Natsu (who was kinda over the whole thing at that point, honestly), and Mirajane and Laxus both looked off, both contemplating if they should start theirs.

Or were they still on hello?

"Did you...come by for something? Was it to see Lisanna off?" Mira glanced over her shoulder at her sister. "Because I really don't think you're the slayer she wanted to-"

"You weren't going to come by my place? Before you left?"

"Well, considering you didn't come by mine-"

"What do you consider this?"

"Um, I'm not sure because you haven't been ultra clear yet what you're doing."

He'd get back to her on that. You know, when he figured it out.

"I just...figured I'd come say hi." He looked off. "I thought you'd be here longer, is all."

"You've never been on this side of it, have you?"

"What?"

"Being left for a job?"

Mira meant that to be cheeky, but the way Laxus' eyes clouded over, she knew she'd spoken without thinking of his past.

"Yeah, Mira, I have. But I really don't want to get into that right now."

Which made an awkward moment all the more gauche. Neither could look at the other then and, even though Lisanna was more than keeping the three on the porch busy, they couldn't help to feel even worse with an audience and, ugh, why did he come there again?

"Um, well," Mira began after a moment. "If you just wanted to say hi, then-"

"N-No, I actually, uh… How's, you know, your little singing thing been going?"

"It's not little, but-"

"That's not what I meant. I-"

"It's going fine. Thanks." Mira was being very cordial with him. Not at all how his nostalgia had played her back on those cold nights where he was alone in bed and just couldn't stop thinking about her. "And you've been fine? On your jobs? No...accidents or-"

"Never."

"Good." That grin was forced then as Mirajane held out an arm and gave him the stiffest hug of all time. Against his chest, where her head was awkwardly resting, she said, "Well, I'll see you next-"

"I should come with you."

And that got Mira to freeze. Completely.

"W-What?" Pulling back, she could only stare. "Laxus?"

His words caught him off guard too (sorta; he'd been thinking them since he found out she was back in town, but held them in) and he only stood there for a moment before figuring if his subconscious slipped them out, then he might as well push forwards with it.

"You know." He looked off. "As your...roadie or whatever. You and Lisanna, out on your own, bumbling around Fiore, that just spells trouble. You need a-"

"Real man to go with them?"

Oh shit.

"I've been saying that since the beginning," came the voice of Elfman as he came out of the house, eyes bloodshot from crying for, oh, ever. The only reason he heard them was because, after Laxus' outburst, Lisanna and the others stopped talking just to stare over at the couple (well, the others did; Natsu really didn't care what happened between Mirajane and Laxus, literally at all), leaving the muscular man, who was in the house, to overhear just what was said. "But the two of them don't think that I should come along. That I might-"

"Elfman, are you talking or are you planning?"

"And Ever's here too," Laxus grumbled from the sound of her in the house.

Right. Because if Lisanna and Mira were both officially out of the Strauss house then Evergreen could unofficially move in. Which would require planning. In which she no doubt meant she was going to completely redo the house without Mira's permission (or with it; women were weird and territorial at times, but even weirder sometimes and not at all, so Laxus wasn't really sure which way that was going) while she was gone.

"Oh, Laxus!" Evergreen was rushing out onto the porch as well then too. "What are you doing here?"

"Being a man," Elfman informed her though his girlfriend ignored that, still staring expectantly over at her idol for an explanation.

"He's, like, being super desperate and weird," Lisanna remarked as Lucy took a step behind Natsu for protection, no doubt predicting a large lightning strike to soon wipe out the entire porch. "So knock it off, Laxus."

"Oh, right," Ever remarked, glancing over at Lisanna before at Natsu. "He's the one being weird."

"What is that supposed to-"

"I'm trying," Laxus growled, glaring at all of them, "to have a conversation with Mirajane over here. So if you'd all kindly-"

"L-Laxus, what did you mean?" Mirajane had taken a few steps back. "Come with me? Why would you-"

"Because, Mira," he began as it was clear the two of them weren't getting any privacy any time soon, "you need a...man-"

"A real man!" Elfman called.

"-to be with you. Not because you're, like, weak or whatever. I would never say that."

"Better not," Lisanna remarked.

"But," he went on, "other people might try to take advantage of you. I'm sure they have already. And I-"

"Oh, Mira uses things to her advantage too."

That time, at Lisanna's words, Laxus turned his attention to her. "What?"

"Lis-" Mira tried, but her sister only shrugged.

"You know," she said as Happy, who was about blissed out from his position atop Lucy's head, could hardly contain his giddiness over the whole situation, "Mira uses certain assets to her advantage."

"Assets?" Natsu scratched at his head. "Like what?"

Lucy's face was beyond red as she only put a hand over her face and mumbled to him, "Let's just let this one die, huh?"

"Oh my, Mirajane," Evergreen remarked as Elfman, who had been pumped over the whole man thing, turned a bit green and looked rather sick. "Tell me you're not sleeping around to get to play at these bars? Perhaps I should go too. Because I would love to see just what assets you're-"

"More like ass and tits. Instead of assets? Am I right?"

"What the hell is he doing here?" Laxus complained as Bickslow came bounding out of the house as well, babies trailing along behind him. "I mean, seriously?"

"Oy, boss," the seith complained, pushing up his visor to stare over at him. "I was helpin' Evergreen move in."

"I'm not moving in." The stone mage looked off. "I'm just...moving...things in."

"Nice cover," Lisanna mumbled which only got her a thankfully behind glasses glare.

"Uh, N-Natsu, I really feel like this is where we should probably depart," Lucy spoke up from behind him where she was still blushing heavily and also hiding, just in case Laxus did decide to strike someone down. "Or-"

"No, wait!" Lisanna quickly dropped tormenting her sister then, turning back to stare at Natsu. "I didn't finish saying goodbye."

"Why should I even give you a chance to?" Natsu went back to glaring off. "Takin' off like this, with no warning."

"I've told you for a month I was leaving."

"Well, I forgot, okay? Before Lucy drug me over here today-"

"A thankless job, I might add," the celestial mage complained as Happy bounced off her head to go land in Lisanna's arms. "Just saying."

"I'll miss you, Lisanna," Happy offered up. "And I remembered you were leaving. Here, look in my pack. I got a fish just for you!"

"Uh, w-well, Happy, that's really nice, but-"

"You don't want it? Great." He grinned. As if he was ever planning on her taking it anyways. "Thought that counts, I guess."

Natsu only snorted. "Don't get why everyone has to be moving away and leaving. Now Laxus is too? This is really something."

"Laxus isn't-" Mira started, but her sister cut her off.

"You left for a year! Without even telling anyone! At all! And-"

"And?"

"If you don't see the correlation in that, then I don't even know what we're talking about!"

Laxus blinked, out there in the yard. Then he glanced back at Mirajane.

"I really don't care about teenage drama hour up there," he told her simply before moving to grab her arm. "C'mere. Please. I want to talk to you. Seriously."

"L-Laxus-"

"If I fix your sister will you walk with me?" He glanced back up at the porch. "Hey, flame retardant; she wants you to ask her to fucking stay. Idiot."

"Shut up, Laxus," Lisanna hissed as Evergreen only giggled into her hand. But he was already dragging Mirajane off by the arm who went more willingly than she'd like to admit.

That time they didn't walk around in the alleyways. Instead, they set off down the road and, only when they were far enough from the house, Laxus slowly released her arm.

"You weren't being serious back there," she said simply. "You couldn't have been."

"Well, I'm not expert on stupid love stories, but yeah, I think your sister's just building up to Natsu begging for her to stay or something, which he isn't going to do. Or Happy's trying to build that up. Maybe. Whatever. I really don't care-"

"Not that, Laxus." She gave him a look before rolling her eyes. "About going with me."

"Oh." He took a deep breath then. "I really don't… It just kind of tumbled out."

"I figured."

"But I have missed you, Mirajane." He glanced down at her. "A lot. And I just… I dunno. I've been thinking."

"I'm sure."

"And this entire time, I kept thinking about how your shit was getting in the way of us. Your job was screwing up our timing and then you leaving did and… But what if it's me? I mean, my schedule isn't easy to work around."

"It's really not, considering it's not a schedule at all."

He nodded. "That's my point. Maybe it was...me. And… You made far more time for me than I ever did you. I-"

"Laxus, it's been, like, six months. Just-"

"For you, that might seem like forever," he said, glancing down at her. "But for me, that's just been four very long jobs. No time at all. And I've had a lot of time to think about you and what you've been doing… Granted, I didn't think you were just out sleeping with all of Fiore for gigs-"

"She was exaggerating and you know it," Mira hissed, glaring up at him. Laxus only gave her a slight nod.

"I know."

"I mean, I never slept with someone for a chance to play anywhere," Mirajane went on. "I might have flirted a little. And yeah, I did sleep with a few people-"

"I really don't want to talk about this. At all."

"You sleep around all the time," she complained, giving him a look. Laxus nodded.

"I also don't want to talk about that either though."

"Then-"

"I don't...have to take jobs, Mirajane," he told her simply. "I mean, I do, for jewels, and because I love it, but it doesn't have to be such a constant thing. Not really. I haven't put a lot of thought into this, but… I could have Freed read me to the S-Class jobs, back at home, over a lacrima, take them, go out and get them done while you're busy with your shit-"

"What are you saying? That you'd be-"

"Be with you. On your little- sorry, not little, but your thing, your singing thing. I could go with you and take jobs on the side and help your income and we can just be together. I know you'll be busy and shit, but it would be like-"

"L-Laxus-"

"I just...I dunno. Never mind. I just… I really liked being with you. And maybe I'm not remembering things right or I'm just trying to cram everything I want to say into this single moment and it's just not all coming out right, but I… You know, I still care about you. And I… If you don't want to be in Magnolia anymore, then fine; I don't really like being here much either. And if we could get the timing better now, with us not being in Mag-"

"But it was never about timing for me, Laxus." And Mirajane meant that. "At all. It was for you and, yeah, sometimes it bugged me too, but I was willing to work through that. You weren't."

"But I was willing to get back together," he argued. "When time did work itself out. And now look; it has! So why-"

"I've enjoyed myself, this six months, Laxus." She glanced up at him. "A lot. And...I don't...want to be in a relationship right now."

That got him to stop walking. He just stood there, forcing her to stop too and stare at him.

"It's true," she insisted. "The best thing you did was end our relationship. It gave me a chance to go out and try something that I've wanted for so long and I'm really enjoying it. And I think I'll enjoy it even more with Lisanna coming with me. But...with you being there it would be… I love you too, Laxus. A lot. And you wanted me to wait, remember, for when timing was better? Well, now you get a chance to do that for yourself. I mean...I'm sorry, Lax, but...I don't want to be with you right now."

Which he couldn't be too mad about. Right? Right. Right? Sure. Whatever. 'cause, you know, it was basically the same thing he did to her. Right? When she felt like things were going perfectly and he just ruined everything? Now here he was, ready to bear his soul to her, only for her to claim that she wasn't down with that.

No hurt feelings.

None what so ever.

Heh.

Laxus didn't go back to Mirajane's place with her. Didn't even talk to her. Just grumbled out something about how if she felt that way, fine; go fuck around some more in hopes of one day becoming a mediocre singer, see if he cared.

Which, admittedly, was not the right thing to say. And also contributed to why, when they ran into one another a few months later in some far off town, neither wanted to speak to the other.

But Lisanna, who was in love with life and being away from Natsu's immaturity and traveling and being away from Natsu's ignorance to her love and meeting new people and being even further away from Natsu's apparent desire to not to be her boyfriend, definitely had more than a few things to say to the slayer.

"Oh my gosh, Laxus!" She was practically bouncing in her seat, at the sight of him passing their table out on some patio cafe. Mirajane, however, was refusing to even glance his way. "I can't believe you're here! What are the chances?" Then she was jumping up to go grab his arm and pull him over. "You have to eat with us! Right now! Are you on a job? No? Eat with us!"

"L-Lisanna," he tried as she drug him right over. "I really don't think-"

"I haven't seen someone from Magnolia in forever, much less someone from Fairy Tail." She sat him down right between she and Mirajane. Still, the former model refused to meet his eyes. It was rather easy too, given the fancy sunglasses she was wearing. "And I'm super glad that it was you that I ran into!"

"Why are you yelling?" he grumbled as she only giggled "Have you been drinking?"

Mira, finally, spoke up at that, though it was just to quip, "Lisanna's become pretty good at that."

Grinning, the youngest Strauss only asked, "What are you doing here, Laxus? Something fun? Or are you on a job?"

"I just was passing through," he said, arms folded over his chest as he stared at her. "I'm on my way back home after finishing a j-"

"So you can stay in town tonight and come see Mirajane preform?"

"What?" Mira glared over at her sister. "Lisanna-"

"I really don't think-" the slayer tried, but Lisanna was having none of it. Only spoke over both of them.

"So it's settled. Great! Now let me tell you all about what we've been doing since we last saw you."

Which, for a completely Natsu-less story, his name sure came up a lot. Every time Lisanna mentioned a guy that she went out with on their misadventure (or slept with; Laxus had a feeling she was mostly just enjoying that part of freedom from Magnolia more than anything else), somehow she'd mention something about stupid Fairy Tail and inevitably Natsu and ugh, Laxus was glad she didn't directly ask him something about the other slayer because he might have barfed.

Mirajane seemed pissed at Laxus for not finding some excuse to leave (or maybe her sister for even inviting him over in the first place), but kept quiet. As did Laxus, save the few times that Lisanna asked him a question or required a response. And though he didn't really like the idea of her drinking so much (and definitely hated that she was, apparently, seeing all these men because, as much as he hated the stupid Salamander, at least he was safe and, well, not responsible, but not completely inept either when it came to looking out for Lisanna), she seemed really...happy. A lot of times Laxus kind of felt bad for Lisanna. Back at home, Mirajane was the most important Strauss, Elfman was the loudest one, and she was kind of just the one that pined after Natsu and did her sister's bidding. You know, if you just didn't want to classify her as the one that should have died.

He knew a lot of people just thought of her in that way.

If she'd found herself (or at least something) on her and Mirajane's trip around Fiore, then good for her.

His demon, on the other hand, he did not like the idea of 'finding herself' anywhere other than back at home where he knew the people in the guildhall were smart enough to know better than to even think about putting the moves on his woman, relationship over or not.

Laxus found himself drifting his gaze over to her a lot during Lisanna's stories.

"So you'll come, right?" Lisanna asked when, finally, she'd finished her drink and Mirajane whatever dessert had been on her plate. "Laxus? Tonight? Please?"

"I really don't-"

"Oh, just come, Laxus," Mirajane complained, giving him a look. He only stared back at her though. "Or else Lisanna will blame me for it."

Wow. Okay, so Mirajane wasn't even going to try and pretend to be perky for him? Laxus wasn't sure if that meant he was so far off her radar that he didn't matter or he should be honored that he was the only one she wouldn't put on an act for, pissed off or not.

"Alright," he said, a bit uneasy then as he got to his feet. "Where is-"

"Yay!" Lisanna launched herself at him then and, damn, fine, they'd had an okay relationship when he and Mirajane were dating, but they were never that close.

Just how much had she been drinking?

"Okay, Lisanna," Mirajane finally said as Laxus didn't move to hug her, but wasn't too sure if he should push her away or not. "Calm down."

Another giggle. And then she told Laxus where Mirajane would be preforming that night and, with a grumble about how he really hadn't planned on paying a cover charge just to have fun that night, he agreed to be there.

And he was. That night. There. Only, Lisanna was sorta shocked to see him.

"Oh, wow, Laxus, I didn't think you'd actually show up," she remarked as he approached her in the bar that night. She was at a table with a these two guys that Laxus definitely didn't want anywhere near her, just from the looks of them (and from the way she was hanging off one). Making a face, he only sat down, much to the annoyance of the other men.

"You told me to come," he pointed out. "You insisted."

"Yeah, but I never thought you'd listen to me."

"If you want me to leave-"

"No." Lisanna even grinned, staring across the table at him before glancing up at the tiny stage on the other end of the bar. "Sis'll be on soon. And she won't say it, but I'm sure she'll be glad to see you."

Yeah, well, Laxus wasn't too glad to be around the new Lisanna too long, so he only went over to the bar to order a drink and find somewhere else to sit for awhile. And suffer through Mirajane's set.

It wasn't so much that he didn't think Mirajane had a nice voice. Because she did. And it wasn't that he thought she wasn't talented on her guitar. Because she was. It was more of the songs that Mira sang that bothered him.

They were all about past relationships. Good ones, bad ones, anything and everything. He'd never liked hearing her sing her own songs when they were dating. Rather, he'd have her sing covers of songs that he listened to in his headphones and, with giggles, Mirajane would typically comply because Laxus was just so cute.

With her preforming at the bar, however, this, of course, did not occur.

Still, it had been a long time since Laxus had heard Mirajane sing. A very long time. And he wouldn't admit it, but sometimes, late at night, he'd wished that he'd recorded her, once or twice, singing him some of his songs, just the way he liked them. And though he didn't hear any covers like he would have liked, just the sound of Mirajane's voice was rather calming. Relaxing.

Almost as if they were spending that year together again, when they were still together, and on rare nights she'd sing him to sleep, playing softly on her guitar.

"Did you like that song?"

Lisanna came to join him up at the bar eventually, grinning at him. Laxus had been listening to Mira sing up there, head down, staring into his beer mug, but glanced at her when she sat down.

"Hmmm?"

"That song's about you, silly."

"W-What? No."

"Mmmhmm."

"Was not."

"How do you know?"

He flicked her forehead with a frown. "Because she's been singing that one for years, dummy."

"Awe." Lisanna giggled, reaching up to rub at her head. "I thought I'd trick you. Make you nervous."

"Why would I care if she wrote something about me?" He went back to staring into his mug. "Literally at all?"

Lisanna glanced up at the stage, where Mira was still strumming away and had the rapt attention of most the men in the room. To Laxus she asked, "Where are you headed next?"

"Home. Whatever towns are in the way of that," he said simply. "You?"

"We're here for awhile. Mira and the bar management have a pretty good thing going and a few other bars in close by towns. I guess this is kinda home base for the moment." Grinning, she said, "But we're going home soon. To Magnolia. Well, soon as in, like, two months or three or so."

Laxus shrugged a bit. "Yeah, well, I'm sure Gramps and the others'll be glad to see you."

"It's still a long way away though. Even though it's soon. You know?"

"You seem to be having a pretty grand time out here," he remarked, glancing over his shoulder to find where those guys had gotten off to. Nowhere. Just sitting over there arguing from the looks of it. Laxus could only hope that it wasn't over Lisanna.

Seriously, if he could go back, he would have never teased her or made fun of her about Natsu. Would have just let that damn thing happen and not made a big fuss over it. If only.

Laxus got ditched by Lisanna eventually and just sat alone, up at the bar, drinking until Mirajane finished her set. He wasn't expecting much after it from her, but was pleasantly (in someways) surprised when she came over to him eventually.

"If you don't buy me a drink soon," she said as she came to claim the empty seat beside him, "then I'm going to be too drunk off other guys' drinks to enjoy it."

Glancing down at her, he asked, "What makes you think I'll buy you a drink?"

"Because you're just going to, so get over it."

"Do I have to talk to you? Along with this drink?"

"Nope."

Laxus held up a hand to wave over the bartender. "Perfect."

A drink turned into two and no conversation turned into Mirajane telling him about what she'd been doing since they last spoke as he sat there awkwardly, trying hard not to let on that he really didn't care.

Because seriously, he just didn't.

Mira's stories, unlike Lisanna's, seemed to involve a lot less guys, but Laxus was certain he was only hearing the censored versions. Just like how if she were to ask him of what he'd been up to since they'd last seen one another, the last thing he'd tell her that he was so down at one point that he drowned himself in booze and women until he didn't feel so bad.

It had taken awhile.

"So I guess things are still turning out okay," Mirajane went on as Laxus hardly listened. "I mean, sure, I'm not, like, doing some insane amount of gigs or anything, but I'm doing enough. And I am sort of supporting Lisanna-"

"And her drinking habit?"

"It's not as bad as it seems," Mira told him with a frown. "She just met a new guy last week, is all."

"Right." Laxus glanced around for her, but she seemed to be gone then, as well as those two guys. "Was that the dark haired one with glasses or-"

"He's back again?" Mira made a face before staring down at her empty glass. "i should have never let her leave Magnolia."

Laxus had to concur, but kept quiet, as it wasn't his place to say so.

"Everyone gets to taste freedom once," he remarked simply. "Some of us just like it more than others."

"And some of us," Mirajane quipped in what he was sure was a slight to him, "just don't know what they have till it's gone."

"Is it that obvious?" he mumbled, in that weird drunk place that he wasn't out of it, in any regard, but was definitely a bit looser around the tongue. "That I-"

"I mean, surely she sees that flirting around the edge with Natsu is more than these stupid guys that don't care about her at all ever will be?"

"-still have been thinking a lot about you and how I fucked up and shit, I'm sorry, Mira."

Silence.

Then, suddenly, their gauche moment was ruined as someone threw their arms around around both of them, giggling the entire time.

"Mirajane," Lisanna sang, breath smelling strongly of liquor. "I'm gonna go, huh? So you get home okay, alright?"

"Go where?" Mirajane sat up then, glancing at her sister. "Lisanna-"

"Just somewhere." She dropped her arm around Laxus to hug her sister from behind. "Bye! And Laxus said he'd pay my tab."

"Laxus said what?" The slayer sat up at that. "Because whatever he said, it definitely wasn't-"

"Bye, Laxus." He got a hug too. A tight one. He wasn't happy with Lisanna any longer though and actually shoved her off. Still, she only giggled and said, "I'll see you around, okay? You should come see Mira play again some time."

When he was having so much more fun embarrassing himself in front of the woman instead?

"She's definitely come alive," the slayer complain to Mirajane after Lisanna left, hand in hand with some guy. "Out here."

"She's just getting to do what we all did, when we were kids and used to go out on jobs," Mirajane remarked with a sigh. "I guess. I mean, we actually had to work and put in effort to get the jewels to blow on partying and hanging out, but after all she's been through-"

"Been through? You mean getting a second shot at life?"

"Laxus-"

"Your brother would have a heart attack."

"Yeah, well," she sighed, "that's why we left him back in Magnolia, isn't it?"

Sighing himself, Laxus started, "Hey, Mirajane, about before-"

"You wanna get out of here? Laxus?"

He blinked. Then he frowned. Then he stared down at her. "If this is because I'm paying your sister's tab, don't feel the need to pay me back; I'm going to just have Ever steal some stuff from you guys' place and pawn it for me."

"Just shut up."

He could do that. He preferred to do that.

What Laxus didn't get, of course, was that Mirajane, in fact, wasn't having as great a time as Lisanna. Sure, she loved playing her music and the attention she was getting from it, as well as meeting new people and seeing new places, but she was also extremely homesick. She wanted to be around someone in Fairy Tail other than her sister who was looking less and less like her old self by the minute (give Mira's own transformation at that age, she couldn't bitch too much). If Laxus hadn't just apologized (and sort of drunkenly admitted that he was still into her) though, she still might not have done much.

But he did say what he did. And she did feel the way that she did.

So why not just go for it? If he was going back home and she wouldn't be there for months? It might be one of the only times they'd see one another for a long time. Why waste it if they both wanted it?

"You getting used to the hotel life?" Laxus asked her when they arrived at the tiny one she and Lisanna were currently staying at. "I know you said you hated them that time we went on vacation together."

"We had time for a vacation?"

"Don't ruin this, Mira."

"This," she said as he shut the door behind himself, "isn't really anything until I make it something."

Alrighty then.

Mira felt icky, she claimed, after her show and excused herself into the bathroom while Laxus only went to sit on the end of one of the beds, waiting. He had a lot of time to think. And realize that Mirajane was probably drunk too. And lonely, like him.

He got that way, on long jobs or sabbaticals. Even before Mirajane. It was hard, being away for so long from home. Even when he didn't like being in Magnolia or any of his Fairy Tall members, it was still better to be there than away for extended periods of time.

It crossed his mind about then, that maybe he should turn Mirajane down, be a good guy and tell her that she'd been drinking and that was no good and that, hey, if she was still in to him the next day, when they'd both had a good chance to get associated with one another again...

But then he remembered that Mirajane wasn't just some random; she was his demon and the reason they were there then, in that motel room, wasn't just because they were associates, but because they were...whatever they were, and he wanted to have that back. Even if it was just for an hour or so.

It helped too that when he was teetering between either leaving or staying that Mirajane opened the bathroom door and strode out there in next to nothing.

That helped the decision making a lot.

"I missed you here," he mumbled when she came to claim her place on his lap, Laxus leaning back, hands rested on her hips as he stared up at her. "Demon."

"Mmmm." She wouldn't look him in the eyes. "I missed being called that."

"Yeah?"

Sort of. Mostly just anything other than just Mirajane or Mira. Something special. That only someone who truly knew her would be able to get away with.

"Yeah."

"Then I'll say it more." He leaned forwards once more so that he could nuzzle his head in between her neck and shoulder. "Demon."

"Mmmm."

Laxus had to admit, being with someone he had a history with was good for him as well. Mira knew about how there was a certain part of his tummy that he liked for her to press against and that he hated the feeling of nails against his flesh (it was a turnoff to him, big time, and really ruined the moment), but at the same time he very much so enjoyed teeth (don't ask). Kinda like how he knew how she hated eye contact (at any point during) and was not a big fan of snuggling (which he thought was odd, but never made a complaint because, hey, whatever).

It was just those sorts of things that you get to know after a year that can't be made up for by the thrill of a short fling. And, when it was all said and done, Laxus was glad that he hadn't tried to force himself to walk out because of 'moral reasons' or whatever, as just lying there with Mira felt more right than most things had recently.

"Laxus?"

"Mmmm?"

"Please tell me you don't have a girlfriend."

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"Good."

"That happen a lot to you?"

"Only once." She shifted on the bed, giving him her back. "But a long time ago. Before we ever dated. I usually ask before I… But with you, I just figured..."

"Oh what? That I'm not boyfriend material?"

"That you've still not gotten the timing right for anyone."

"I had it right for you, but-"

"Come off it."

"No."

Sighing, Mirajane said, "It's beyond late, I felt like my whole set was junk-"

"It wasn't." He wiggled his toes. "I liked it."

"Shut up."

"No."

Mira glanced over her shoulder at him, but he didn't move in the slightest. Only laid there, eyes nearly shut.

"Are you staying?"

"I did buy a hotel room for the night and my stuff's there, but… It's not going to be weird, is it? For Lisanna? You guys are sharing a room, right?"

"She won't be back tonight."

"Oh." Laxus blinked. Then frowned. "Please don't tell me about anything like that again."

"I won't have time to. You're leaving in the morning, right?" When she was answered with silence, she repeated, "Right?"

"Well… If today wasn't a great set-"

"Laxus-"

"I should get," he complained, "to see a great set."

"Hear."

"Whatever."

Pushing up, Mirajane shifted again, so that she was on her back as well, before saying, "It won't be tomorrow."

"That's fine. I have some things to do in town, apparently, until then."

"Which are?"

"Well, you, obviously."

"Laxus-"

"And I have some unmanly men to show what a real man is."

"Do what?"

"I might not like your brother, Mirajane," he grumbled as, that time, he gave her his back, "but I can't just let this all go down without extracting some form of revenge for him."

"And what sort of revenge were you thinking?"

"I dunno yet. Leaning towards telling all of those guys that Lisanna's mine and therefore not theirs and completely ruining her social life-"

"Belonging to you seems like it could make a social life in some circles, but go on."

"-but that would be too weird. For you. Us. Right?"

"I dunno. As long as you, like, aren't actually attracted to my sister-"

"Gross. She's like twelve."

"Not even close."

"Feels like it."

"Uh-huh."

"Or," he went on loudly, wishing to leave that portion of the conversation, "I could, you know, just have a talk with Lisanna."

"That sounds interesting."

"About how she should have a talk with you and calm the hell down."

"Less interesting."

Relaxing into the bed, he changed his mind then as he said, "She seems really happy, anyways."

"She is."

"And who am I to judge?"

"Not very pure yourself."

"And, I mean, I'm sure I'm just catching her on a bad night."

"Kind of."

"But mostly, I think I still see her as a little kid."

"Yeah."

"And as my girlfriend's little sister."

"Probably."

"And I really just don't want her to, like, turn into Cana or something."

"Or something."

"And how can a kid grow up in a bar, only to become a drunk when they leave it?"

"Maybe it was influential in the early years and now she's realized her true calling as a Fairy Tail Mage; to drink a lot and bog me down with requests and never ending needs."

"Well, you are good at filling requests. All kinds."

"Hmmm." Mira paused for a moment before saying, "How long are we going to talk around us and pretend to really be that interested in Lisanna?"

"I figured as long as you'd let us."

Letting out a breath, she said, "I don't think that we're ready to date again."

"I am."

"No. You're ready to sleep with me again."

"Well, I already did that and am still intrigued by you, so-"

"It's different, Laxus, when you've dated before. There's certain expectations. On both of us. And right now-"

"If you don't think you can be monogamous, Mirajane," he chided, taking that tone with her (for, like, the first time over), "then you shouldn't have led me on."

There it was. Finally. After so long, in that moment, Laxus actually got Mirajane to giggle. Rather loudly and for a good minute, she just laid there, laughing. He didn't turn to look at her, for fear of ruining the moment, but did smile softly to himself, staring towards the window. Even though the curtains were shut, he could see moonlight peaking through the sides.

"I fucked up, Mira," he sighed. "A while ago. Breaking up with you. And I've tried a couple of times to fix it now and you just won't let me. If you don't want me, that's fine. But I want you. I...love you, you know. And I shouldn't have ever broken up with you. I should have thought of another way. But I did, you know, give it a lot of thought. I don't think I ever told you that. But I did. I thought about it a lot. And I felt like shit."

"You ruined my morning-"

"Breakfasts, yeah, I remember. But I'm saying now it was a mistake. And-"

"Lax, if you couldn't take me working up at the guildhall all the time, there's no way that you could possibly take me being-"

"But I told you that last time we saw one another that I want to travel with you."

They could both hear it in his voice though. When he'd said that before, back in Magnolia, it had been out of desperation. After months of contemplation, he knew that solution just wasn't going to cut it and he really didn't want to do it. At all.

Mira could tell too as she only said, "You know that wouldn't work."

"Yeah." Laxus let out a slow breath. "I know."

"You love taking jobs constantly."

"I do."

"And you couldn't just sit around and watch me do something while you do nothing at all."

"I definitely couldn't."

"You'd grow bored. We'd have so much time that you'd be bored."

"Yeah."

"So..."

"Why can't we just go back before I ever brought up the stupid timing shit? Huh? And just see one another when we see one another? You're doing your own thing now, and that's fine, you like it, and I'll go back to doing my thing, which I love, and we can see one another when we get a chance. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing." Mirajane shut her eyes. "Had you not-"

"And now I'm saying let's ignore that I ever did that. And just try again. Try harder to be around one another. Because damn, Mira, it's been over a year now and I still miss you. Doesn't that mean something? If you miss me too?"

But Mirajane didn't answer. And, even though he knew she wasn't really asleep, he left it at that.

"Oh, no, gross, did you guys sleep together?"

Until Lisanna woke them up bright and early the next morning, stumbling around in the dark room, as the blinds were still drawn. Mirajane sat up a bit, but Laxus only laid there, eyes shut, praying that he too could pretend to be asleep.

"That's, like, a rule, Mira. That we can't bring guys back to the shared space."

"Laxus isn't just a guy."

"Neither is-"

"Yes. Whoever you're going to say, yes, he is."

Heh.

"So," he heard after a moment, "are we going to talk about what happened? To lead to...this?"

"Wh- Not with him right here!"

"He's sleeping."

"He's not a sleep," Mira complained. "He's faking."

"No way."

"He's even peeking his eyes open. You're not tricking anyone, Laxus."

"He's tricking me."

Groaning, Laxus rolled onto his stomach before, against the pillow, grumbling out, "Mira and I fucked because we always fuck because we're in love. That's the story. Now go away."

That got him a hit to the side by Mirajane and a lot of laughter from Lisanna before she rushed off to the bathroom, leaving them alone again.

"You're bad," Mirajane chided because, you know, that was a horrible thing to be, when you were Mirajane. "Laxus."

"You're the one that hit me," he pointed out through a yawn. "That's really bad."

"I was only bad because you were bad."

"Don't be such a follower then."

Slowly, Mirajane relaxed into the bed when she heard Lisanna turn on the shower in the bathroom. Then she softly whispered, "You think I love you, Laxus?"

"I know you do."

"That's silly."

"You took me home, Mira, before I even tried schmoozing you into it. And then you wanted me to stay the night-"

"I asked if you wanted to. I didn't-"

"You wouldn't have asked if you didn't want me to. And you haven't kicked me out yet even though I just told your sister that we love fucking each other-"

"Yeah, well, the more you say it, the closer you are to getting kicked out, so-"

"I missed you." Laxus, still on his back, tossed an arm out, which fell across Mirajane. "And everything about you."

"Not everything," she said, trying to shove his arm off. "And you know it."

"I don't know it. Might be true, but don't know it."

When he refused to lift up his arm, Mirajane eventually gave up and, very timidly moved to run her hand up and down it. Once Laxus let out a content sigh, she seemed to relax as well and even shifted so that she could kiss his bicep.

They'd figure out some way to make it work that time. Laxus just knew it.

"He, like, sleeps all day."

"Coming from you, Lisanna, I think that's saying something."

That was what Laxus awoke to sometime after noon, as well as the sound of a soft strumming as Mirajane tried out a new chord progression. She and her sister were over on the other bed, from the sound of it, while Laxus was still on his, face buried in the pillow and arms folded up above his head.

"Are you guys, like, back on or-"

"I don't know, Lisanna." Her strumming stopped, if only for the moment. "We haven't… I guess. Sort of. But…'

"You know you still like him."

"Of course I do. I've never said I haven't."

"I like having him around, anyways," Lisanna giggled. "Very much."

"You would like anyone from the guild to hang out with."

"Well...yeah. But Laxus is good."

At the moment, anyways. When he tried to break up whatever it was that she had going on with those guys, she would actually hate his guts. But Lisanna didn't know that just yet, so she couldn't be mad at the slayer.

"He's awake, you know."

"What?" Laxus heard Lisanna shift on the bed. "How can you tell? This time I'm calling your bluff, Mira. There's no way-"

"Aren't you, dragon?"

He was frozen then, hearing that monicker for the first time in a long time and only laid there for a moment before grumbling out, "Would you two can it? I'm tryin' to get some rest over here."

"You are good," Lisanna complimented her sister. "Maybe you guys are meant to be together."

Yeah. Maybe. But definitely not for that reason alone.

Lisanna didn't want to eat lunch (or an early dinner; whatever) with them when Laxus and Mirajane finally left the hotel room sometime later. She said she had plans. Which was for the best. Laxus and Mirajane more or less just wanted to spend that meal discussing where they were headed next.

For him, it was rather simple.

"Home," he told her. "In a few days. Then another job. And then I'll get you on the lacrima, figure out where you're at, and come see you. Repeat."

"Surely you wouldn't enjoy all that."

"Surely," he argued, "I would."

"And there's still, at least, a month passing between when we get together. And even then you'll be tired and I'll be busy and, Lax, what about the..."

"The what?" He glanced up from cutting into his steak. "Demon?"

She glanced around the restaurant before back at him with a slight frown. "I'm assuming that you...see people. Like I see people. And...I just want to know if we're…gonna...not see other people. Like, is this real or are we just-"

"I don't know about you," he said slowly then, still just staring at her, "but everything I know about...open relationships is that they usually don't turn out too well for one person. Usually the more emotional one. So-"

"You're afraid of me hurting you?"

"Ha ha. I'm trying to save you here, woman."

"I'm not more emotionally attached to you than you are to me." Mira gave him a look. "You stalked me here, remember?"

"Oh, bull. I was just passing through."

"Likely story."

"You're the one that had your little sister drag me into-"

"Never happened."

"Did so."

"Liar."

"Demon."

"Dragon."

Then they just stared before, finally, with a grin, he said, "I wouldn't want to think of you as sleeping with other people anyways. I don't like the idea of it now, actually."

"You're so immature," Mira said, sitting up taller. "That's what Lisanna would say. That no one owns anyone and the whole world's free and-"

"What did you do to her? Taking her out here with you?"

Mira only hummed. "Unleashed her inner self, apparently."

"Yeah, well, me and you must be...whatever the opposite of unleashed is. Inleashed?"

"I think it would just be leashed, dragon."

Nodding, he said, "Then I'm leashed. Or I want to be, anyways."

"You sure are more open, Laxus," she said simply, glancing down at her own plate, "with this than you ever were the entire time we were together."

"Well, yeah," he complained. "I had something I really liked and now I got a chance at getting it again. Why wouldn't I give it my all?"

Truth be told, it was more of a tradeoff than anything else. He was being as open as he ever would be about his feelings and hopes for her and them, while Mirajane was the most reserved she'd ever been about such a thing. It was clear that he'd hurt her, back then, and he knew it would take a while to get them back on their normal tracks, when she'd be comfortable in that he cared about her and he'd be content enough that she wasn't going to try to pull what he did on her and leave him.

"You're just coming on a bit strong, is all. If not desperate."

"I'm not hearing you hate it."

"Oh, I certainly would on someone else," she assured him before glancing up with a slight grin. "But coming from you, I dunno, it's almost...cute."

Laxus wasn't cute. And usually wouldn't enjoy being called it. But at the moment it only made him sit up straight and clear his throat.

"Yeah, well, I try."

"You do?"

"For you."

And they shared a smile then, if only for a moment, before looking off. It wasn't lost on either of them that the core reason they separated the first time was still ever present, if not more so, with her on the road as well as him then. They also both were very aware of the fact that, really, they should be taking things a lot slower than they were, maybe not even having the conversation they had so far about their relationship, as it shouldn't even be called that yet.

They should just be dating. At best. And see where things went. Because too much riding on something too early would only lead to disaster. They were both old enough to know better, after all.

And yet…

"It could be worse," Laxus told Makarov when he got back to Magnolia a few days later only for the old man to carp at him when, while telling him about his travels (Laxus came by every time he finished a job to, as much as he hated it, water those damn plants and pick up around the place, ugh), somehow he let it slip that he and Mirajane were back on. "I mean, we could have gotten drunk and then married."

Makarov, who hadn't even thought that the two of them would end up at the alter back when they were dating previously, had to set down his teacup at that, frowning over at his grandson. And, with a long sigh, he said, "Yes, it could have been much worse, I suppose."

"And if that's all you need here, Gramps," the man said as he water the last plant, there on the back patio of the man's house, "I have a demon to get on the lacrima. And a certain Salamander to bribe."

"A what now?"

But Laxus only shook his head, too fearful to speak his plan of getting (or tricking) Natsu into talking to Lisanna over a lacrima or writing her or something only to beg her to come back home, which would effectively end (he hoped) her little soiree into adult life and send her back into her dorky existence where she was mostly ignored, but certainly safe back home.

Because, you know, that was just important to him too. Not as important as being with Mirajane, but definitely up there.

Even when he found out that bribing Natsu with a fight (which worked), had the adverse effect in which Lisanna flat out told Natsu that she wasn't thinking about coming back to Fairy Tail for a few months and she'd just see him then, Laxus couldn't be too mad.

Beating the crap out of Natsu (who enjoyed every second of it, the little freak) and getting the demon back, all in one week? Losing Lisanna to the dark side (if one considered that the dark side) was sort of just a moot point.

[fallen029]

Timing

To be fair, his decision to break it off was rooted mostly in the fact that Mirajane, for the most part, worked seven days a week, open to close, at the guild hall as the head barmaid. That really didn't leave much time for Laxus. Which was only pushed even further to extremes by the fact that, as an S-Class wizard, Laxus frequently left on high risk jobs that took forever to finish or at least travel back and forth from.

Life was just too complex for the two of them to ever honestly get any free time together. It strained their relationship in almost every way and, really, at times Laxus wondered if there was one or not. All it really meant to him was that he wasn't allowed to spend time with other women which sucked, but wouldn't be so bad had he at least been able to spend that time with Mirajane. Honestly, one day out of a month wasn't working out for him. For either of them, he was sure. Which is why, after a year of toying around, he figured it was time to face the facts.

They just weren't going to work out.

Not that their relationship didn't have it's good qualities, because it certainly did. Laxus really liked being around Mirajane. She made him feel comfortable. They could just sit around on the few times they got to spend together, just laying around in bed, talking about nothing and he was content. Or when he got her some time off the bar to go out on an actual date, that was even better. They didn't have tons of things in common, but she always told him that that was okay; it just meant that they completed one another. She brought a bubbly bliss to his life that he rarely had. And he allowed her to be dark and angry and just vent. She finally really had someone to vent to.

But a friend could solve both those problems for one another. She could be his friend and bring joy to his life while he could just listen to her sometimes, up at the bar, complain about life, and they could both actually find relationships with people that were beneficial to their lifestyles.

Because Laxus liked Mirajane. A lot. And she liked him. A lot. But they'd both had better significant others and, fine, the sex wasn't bad, but it definitely was rushed, most of the time, because she had to get to work or he was going to go train or something else was coming up, and then the amount of time between it was just…

In short, things were too hard for the two of them to be together.

Laxus dreaded the entire time, having to break it off. He wasn't exactly sure how to do it. Most of them women he dated, he didn't care so much about (and certainly didn't have to around ever again) them, and therefore he'd kinda just either avoid them until they got the message or tell them flat out that the wasn't interest in the whole monogamy thing and if they still wanted to, like, hook up, he was chill with that.

It resulted in a lot of pissed off women. Which was a good thing he was a traveling mage and met lots of other women. Else he'd have worked through the list of all the women he knew by then and probably had to die alone.

Or try harder at relationships.

Both sounded equally as horrible.

When it came to Mirajane though (and one other woman that he'd been really serious about, when he was nineteen, that he had to actually put thought into breaking up with or trying to work thing out; you know, because things like that seem to be the most serious at nineteen), Laxus actually had to take some time out to think things over. Mirajane, as stated before, worked mostly up at the bar. And he definitely couldn't do it there.

But at the same time, he didn't want to do it on one of her off days. They were extremely rare and, if she took one off just to be with him, he'd feel like a complete and utter ass if he broke up with her when she took a day off, just to be with him.

So it had to be an organic time in which Mirajane wasn't at work, but she also wasn't off, and Laxus hadn't promised to take her somewhere or made ti seem like they were going to be doing something with one another that day.

The only time he could think of in which that would work was when he knew Mira had breakfast, every Friday, at this little restaurant, all on her own. She called it her time to reflect and think, but Laxus and her siblings knew it was mostly just the time when she was able to get away from everyone and the others all knew to leave her alone for a bit. Considering her life was either spent up at the bar full of people, taking care of the ailing Makarov, or hanging around her house with her siblings/sleeping over at Laxus', just an hour to herself before she had to get down to work, where she could drink coffee and eat breakfast in peace was far less than what Mirajane deserved.

And Laxus was so sorry that he was going to ruin that, mar that time Mirajane had by not only impeding on her alone time, but most importantly ruining the relationship that, while he was sure she realized too wasn't working, she had no concept of possibly ending.

"Dragon!" She was really happy to see him too as he approached her in the back of the tiny restaurant, immediately taking a seat at her table. "What are you doing here?"

Mirajane, at the moment, was eating her favorite, pancakes with chocolate chips and a whipped cream smiley face (Laxus would make it at his place too, for her, the few times he made breakfast instead of her) along with a glass of orange juice. Laxus figured, when it was over, he'd go ahead and pay her bill. You know, to make amends for...breaking her heart or whatever. If that's what he was doing.

He honestly wasn't too sure.

"Hey, demon." Laxus scratched at the back of his head. "I just, uh, came to see you. To talk to you."

"Ooh. Talk, huh?" Mirajane even giggled before nodding down at her plate. "You want some-"

"It's not...funny, Mira. Or fun. Or… I have something serious I want to talk about."

That got her to blink, grin fading as she stared only at him. They were the only customers in the place, other than an old man on the other side of the restaurant, sitting alone and reading the paper. Laxus didn't feel as if Mirajane was the type to make a big scene of things, but if she was, at least it would be somewhere like that.

"Serious," Mirajane repeated slowly, setting her fork down. "What-"

"You know, Mira, that I really do care about you. Honestly. And I...sorta wrote this all down, if you don't mind, so just let me glance at this-"

"Laxus, what are you doing?" she asked as he reached into his pocket to pull out a little sheet of paper. At her words though, he realized how lame that was and finally hung his head with a sigh.

"I don't… Um...I just… We're not working out, Mirajane, and it's not your fault or my fault and I'm not trying to-"

"Are you...breaking up with me?"

"Well that's a really harsh way of-"

"Over breakfast?"

"It's not like dinner or lunch would have been any bet-"

"Laxus, I can't… What even-"

"Nothing happened," he assured her and he was trying really hard to continue staring her in the eyes, but was fearful, extremely, of tears. Because he knew Mirajane. Even a simple insult could send her into hysterics. He was nearly certain that a break up would definitely bring about some sort of crying. "And that's just it. I can't...do this anymore, Mirajane."

"Do what? What have we been-"

"Doing nothing. We don't see one another frequently and I've been...I haven't cheated on you or anything, but if we kept going I-"

"Okay, Laxus. Just-"

"No, I'm not trying to make this-"

"I said okay." But she wasn't. And, shaking her head, Mirajane got to her feet, refusing to look at him. Laxus didn't really know what to do (comforting her would seem kind of pointless, considering he was the one that was hurting her, but ignoring her seemed extremely callous which is what he'd been trying to avoid), so he only sat there, watching as she started to leave some jewels on the table, but he only shook his head.

"I'll pay," he told her softly. "I-"

"I don't want you to."

"Mirajane-"

"If you want to break up, Laxus, fine. Just go." She glanced up from her tiny purse then to give him the deadest stare she could pull off. "I don't care. It stupid to try and be together anyways."

Which he couldn't be too mad about. It was stupid. He'd said as much himself, hadn't he? And it was stupid, regardless what either of them thought. They both lived very busy lives that, while intertwined in a very basic way, were also extremely independent of one another. And that wasn't going to be changing any time soon, so if he wanted more time with someone, it was going to have to be someone other than Mirajane. And that was just that.

But he didn't leave. Just sat there as, finally, in a huff, Mirajane tossed some jewels down on the table and walked off. There it was. What everyone had warned Laxus about the second he and Mirajane got involved. For so long, he'd been just a neutral part of Fairy Tail, but it was back to the bad guy. The villain. A role he'd worked so hard to wash clean of himself, only to somehow find himself tangled up with Fairy Tail's sweetheart which inevitably lead to breaking said heart.

Because, you know, that was the story of Laxus' life. Have a mother and father? Lose them both permanently from your life while he's young. Have a grandfather that's the Master of the coolest guild ever in existence? Forever be on his bad side and never be trustworthy in his eyes again by trying to take over said guildhall. Land the hottest woman in, once more, that same guild? Jump into things too soon and ruin it before it really had a chance to get off the ground.

So he didn't go back to Fairy Tail for a bit. Stayed for away from Magnolia for a good three days. Went out. Drank. Tried to hookup with women, but felt a bit like shit for it, so backed out of it each time before things went too far.

About a week of that and he was pretty much ready to go home and get a job. He was hoping against hope that maybe Mira wouldn't be working when he got to the hall (they'd dated for over a year and he still didn't fully know her schedule, it changed that much), but of course that couldn't be the case, because if it were, what would be the point of anything? Huh? If life just let you have small victories at times? What would be the point?

Heh.

The thing was, however, that Mirajane, who happened to be the only one working (even Gramps wasn't around), didn't yell at him. Avoid him. Or even do anything that might hint to the fact that they had been dating very seriously up until seven days ago, when he broke up with her suddenly during her alone time.

Her breakfast alone time.

The horror.

"Hi, Laxus," she greeted before he even fully approached the bar. The man's eyes were wide then and, slowly, he came to stand in front of her.

"Uh, hey, Mirajane." Scratching at the back of his neck, he tried, "Look, I-"

"Some new S-Class jobs were just posted," she said, bouncing just a bit. "So you better snatch them up before Erza does. Or even me."

"Yeah, that's great, but-"

"Did you want something to eat? Or drink? Should I start you a tab?"

"N-No, I just-"

"Well, I'm the only one on the job right now, so if you need anything, just tell me, huh?" She bounced, just a bit then, before moving to walk away from the bar. Across the hall, Macao was waving her over, holding an empty mug up in the air as he continued to laugh along at some story Romeo was telling him about a recent job. "Coming, Macao," she called before, glancing at Laxus and saying, "Talk to you later, Laxus."

And that was it. The big first meeting after the break up.

Huh. He kinda felt cheated.

None of the Thunder Legion seemed to be around, so Laxus only headed over to the board to pick out a job before he got roped into a conversation with someone. And, when he took it to Mirajane, she was back over at the bar, whipping up a drink for someone, but took the job from him with a bright smile.

"Alright, Laxus," she said after glancing it over. "I'll file it immediately. Have a safe trip."

"Thanks. But Mirajane-"

"Laxus." Her tone was still so upbeat too as she handed him the flier back. "I'm trying to be mature and diplomatic about this. If you can't do that, then please, just walk away. We both have to a part of this guild; if this is the consequence of things going awry, so be it. But don't keep poking at something you don't want clean up the mess of."

And what could he say to that? Only a mumbled, "Alright. See you then," before turning to walk off. He could feel Mirajane's eyes on him as he did so, but didn't turn back to glance at her.

Then he left on a very long and tedious job. It helped keep his mind off things, and he did sort of need the jewels, anyhow. And the long walk back home after it (he never used the train on the way home and very rarely on the way there; motion sickness was no joke), Laxus had a good chance to review all that had gone down.

It hadn't been a spur of the moment thing. Not in any regard. He'd thought about it for awhile, whether it was just always in the back of his mind or he was honestly considering it. He and Mirajane were good together, fine, in a lot of ways. Very good. But in the important ones, such as the time they were able to spend together, they just weren't. And it wasn't fair to her, for him to be gone all the time, leaving her to be lonely and in the face of everyone else's budding (in her mind) romances, anymore than it was fair to him, to have to travel and be away from her and alone, constantly in the face of temptation.

Timing. That was what it was. The timing was just all off. Skewed. Most of Mirajane's life was filled with staying in Magnolia, where she was helping the ailing Makarov deal with the guildhall, while Laxus was filled with fun and adventure and intrigue. The parts were opposite, but the timing in which they could be put together was just off.

Now, that didn't mean that one day, maybe, if they never got with anyone else, that Laxus couldn't see he and Mirajane… Because he could. Honest, they had gotten along very well. Extremely well. Should he somehow find himself around more or her find herself less grounded in Magnolia and Fairy Tail, then...maybe something could…

But at the moment, it just needed to be put on a hold. All of it. And he was ready to believe that.

Until, you know, while he was camping out one night on his way home when Freed connected with him through the lacrima to inform him that Makarov was officially handing down the hall to Erza Scarlet.

Which was fine! It was great! It was grand! Laxus wasn't jealous. No, seriously, no sarcasm. He didn't want to be the Master anymore. He just didn't. It was something that he wanted in his youth, but he was growing up. He had grown up. And, honestly, if he wanted to be a master, he'd start his own damn guild and run it the way he wanted.

Fairy Tail was something that had to be handled in a certain way. It had a legacy. A legacy that, should Laxus inherit, could possibly be construed as just being handed over to him.

No. Laxus didn't want Fairy Tail. He loved Fairy Tail, thought the world of it, and would hate to one day have to leave it, but ultimately knew, when he was finally ready to settle down, it would be in an unknown town and to start his own dynasty, his own way, where the name Dreyar meant nothing and he could build his reputation through prowess and leadership alone.

The odd thing was, however, when he arrived in Magnolia, he found out that Mirajane was apparently having the exact same thoughts. Only, her intention was to get things started a hell of a lot sooner.

"What do you mean you won't serve me?" he complained as Lisanna, who was behind the bar when he arrived, flatly told him with a slight glare that he would be getting no beer as long as she was on duty.

"It's your fault that Mirajane's running off."

"What are you talking about? Running off where?" And, even though over a month had passed then since the break up, Laxus still felt a ping of jealousy. "And with who?"

"With no one, dummy," the youngest Strauss complained, still giving him such a heavy glare that Laxus almost felt as if he wasn't dealing with Lisanna at all. The two had had a very good relationship during the course of he and Mirajane's and, fine, he figured that they wouldn't have as tight a bond after he broke up with her sister, but the overwhelming hostility, when Mira clearly felt none, was a bit much. "She's leaving the guild and going to start her music career."

Which was the first Laxus had heard of that. "Music what?"

Lisanna only narrowed her eyes before glaring off and refusing to say another word.

Which is what everyone in the hall seemed to be doing to him. Other than the Thunder Legion who ushered him over to their table and immediately took to explaining. Ever, for obvious reasons (though she pretended as if they didn't exist; err, rather, her very extensive relationship with a certain male Strauss didn't exist), was very much so in the know.

Mirajane was rather doleful over the break up, as would be expected, and complained to both Lucy and Lisanna frequently that it just didn't make sense. Sure, she and Laxus didn't spend a lot of time together, but they seemed to thoroughly enjoy the time that they did get. They fought, of course, but never anything vicious. And he seemed to be very interested in her. What could have gone wrong?

The longer Mirajane had to mope about it though, without him being around to question (though he had a feeling it wouldn't have mattered either way; Mira was going to pretend like everything was alright until she finally imploded), which led to her thinking about many other things.

Including, of course, the fact that years were wasting away and she was still nothing more than a stupid barmaid. And no matter how much Elf, Lisanna, or Lucy tried to tell her otherwise, it didn't matter. Because if that was the way she felt, that was just the way she was going to feel.

Evergreen didn't know, of course, because Elfman didn't know about it and therefore couldn't tell her, but it was actually a rare and very intense conversation that Mirajane had with Cana that spurred on the thoughts that Mira was having.

"I mean," the drunkard said one day as Mirajane was closing up the place and they were the last two in there, "if you feel like you're not doing something here, you should move on. I know I would."

"It's not that simple."

"It is that simple."

"No."

"Yes."

"Cana-"

"I'm not saying it's easy," she clarified, staring forlornly down at her empty beer mug. "Nothing's every easy. It wasn't easy for me to talk to Gildarts. Or for you to come back here after Lisanna… And Master's never had it easy, all the time he's had to rebuild the guildhall. So why would it be any easier for you to leave?"

"The questions wasn't easy. It was whether or not it's simple. And how sober are you?"

Cana gave her a look from where she was seated, at the bar, before saying, "I got here late, remember? Just got in from a job."

"Not enough time then, to get drunk."

"Not for me, anyways."

They both shared a grin, at that, before Mirajane, who was busy sweeping, only said, "I can't leave Lisanna and Elf. I-"

"Why not? It's not like you're all kids anymore. And it wouldn't be forever; you could just take your guitar and try to go make it for a few months, in Fiore. If it all blows up, then fine, come back home. And if not, you could still come back home, just to visit. Or even tend bar every now and then. Whatever. But you don't wanna spend forever thinking about something and never doing it. Fairy Tail's not going anywhere. But your chance of actually pulling off being a singer definitely is."

Mira only blinked. Then, with a slight grin, she leaned on the broom as she stared over at the other woman.

"Whatever amount it is that you've drank tonight, Cana," she remarked, "must have been the perfect balance."

"Really?" Cana seemed to be the more depressive one then as she only shrugged her shoulders a bit. "I feel as if I haven't drank near enough."

"And therein lies the key."

But it wasn't like Cana was the only one pushing her to go. Lucy, as well, had a rather small hand in it, as she didn't right out tell Mirajane that, if she was dissatisfied with her current state, to go try something drastically new, but she did mention that she too wanted something for herself. She wanted to be a Fairy Tail mage and, admittedly through some pure coincidences (though arguably fate), she found herself achieving such a thing. But it wasn't in her comfort zone that she got there.

Fairy Tail was a safety net for Mirajane, fine, and it would always be that, but if she was ready to stretch her boundaries a bit, who could really blame her? Honestly?

All Evergreen knew of the story, however, was that Mirajane had been thinking for a long time of, at the very least, taking some time off from the hall and exploring Magnolia for a bit, her guitar and hopefully playing it a part of that, of course.

Laxus was a bit floored at that and, still a bit dazed over not only Erza taking command of the hall, but also the idea that he might have played a bigger role in Mirajane leaving than the others realized.

What if she decided that they couldn't stay at the same guild together? And that she had to leave because, like, she couldn't see him out, living his life, while she was miserable because she honestly thought they had something great? Because, again, it was great. The timing was just off.

If that made sense.

But the thing was, Laxus didn't know what to do about the whole thing. It wasn't as if he could just go to Mirajane and flat out ask her if the reason she was making such a drastic change in her life was because he'd broken up with her. If that didn't sound like a complete and utter narcissistic thing to say, then Laxus didn't know what did.

So he said nothing. To Mirajane, anyways. Knowing how flighty the woman was (even before their year of dating, he'd known), he figured that bothering with her would get him nowhere. Rather, he'd go to the only other person besides her siblings that could possibly get Mirajane to stay.

"What do you mean you told her to go?"

"What else do you want me to say, boy?" Makarov griped as he and his grandson had tea out on the back patio of his house. "I told her to go."

"Why," Laxus grumbled, "would you tell her that? Huh? If anyone, you should want her here."

"And why should I want that?"

"Because she takes care of you, Gramps!"

"Does she?" He gave his grandson a hard look. "Last I checked, she took care of my guild. Which, with Erza in control of now, needs far less overseeing by a young set of eyes."

"She fucking feeds you, Gramps," his grandson said through ground teeth, trying his hardest not to yell. "And cleans your house. And waters all these damn plants!"

He gestured that time, around the patio, where an assortment of potted plants and a garden sat out in the yard. Makarov looked around at them with a slight shrug.

"I never rightly liked them to begin with."

"W-What?"

"And surely my adoring grandson can come over and keep me company."

"What are you-"

"Clean my house."

"No way! I-"

"Bring me my dinner."

"That is not happening."

"Why not?" Makarov lifted his tea up to his mouth. "It's you that ran off my woman."

Narrowing his eyes then, Laxus said, "First off, she was mine-"

"Mine first."

"That's gross. She was a child to you first."

"Oh, shut up, Laxus." Huffing, Makarov said simply, "It's bad enough that you've run Mirajane off-"

"You told her to go!"

"Well, I couldn't very well tell a woman that I'm not related to that I want her to put her life on hold even longer than she has to care for me in my ailing days." Makarov held his head up higher. "Besides, I just let Mirajane care for me because it means that I get to spend time with her."

"You know, you can't perv on my girlfriend."

"You," Makarov remarked with a frown, "told her that you were through with her."

"Yeah, well, apparently now so have you."

"No." And his grandfather seemed pretty earnest about that. "I did not. She expressed to me that she wished to move on with her life and I shared the same sentiment. Then I said that I was considering handing over the hall to Erza and, that if I did that, she could do what she wished to do. She is an S-Class mage, Laxus; if she wishes to travel, the rest of you do all the time. Why should Mirajane be confined to Magnolia?"

"I never said she should," he grumbled. "I just meant that… She's not thinking. She-"

"You do not wished to be blamed," Makarov clarified before taking a sip of tea. After, he shrugged once more. "What difference would it make to you if you were or if you weren't? And believe me, I can assure you, it has nothing to do with you."

"It had somethin' to do with me," Laxus grumbled, looking around at the plants once more, though that time it was just so that he didn't have to keep looking at his grandfather. "She would have never brought it up if we were still dating. Ergo, I have something to do-"

"Ear go where?"

"What?"

"What?"

Their eyes met again as the two men only stared at one another. With a roll of his eyes finally, Laxus took a long sip from his drink before grumbling something under his breath about how annoying the man was.

No debate.

But then again, Makarov thought the same thing about him.

"I just don't want Mirajane to go off on this...adventure and something go wrong and me have to deal with, like, the guilt or whatever."

"If you want to hold her back from doing something," Makarov tsked, "because of your fear of your own guilt, then perhaps you' should really think about if you care about Mirajane at all."

Well, that was no help. But then again, Laxus never expected the man to be much of that. He seemed to help and advise every single young guild member except his own damn grandson. It was so aggravating!

But anyways, Laxus didn't have forever and a day to dwell on that. Mirajane, as he found out, was leaving in two days and, well, he only had that long to figure out just what he was going to do about it. So he thought. And thought. And worked out. Slept. Ate. Thought some more. About other things. Then about Mirajane again. And, somehow, all that time passed over to the day that Mira was leaving and, well, Laxus hadn't really figured anything out yet.

So he went over to the Strauss house to see if maybe he could speak to Mirajane before she left and maybe absolve any and all guilt by wiping his hands of the whole thing. If she went after he talked to her, then fine; it was her fault. Not his. She chose to go. Didn't feel forced or anything of the sort.

"Go fuck yourself."

Instead, he was greeted at the door by, quite possibly, the first curse word Lisanna had ever uttered. At the very least, it was certainly the first she'd ever said in his presence. Laxus was so shocked that when the door was just shut in his face, he only stood there.

What had just happened?

"Lisanna, who was that?" he heard Mirajane call from somewhere in the house.

"Wrong address."

"Well, considering I heard what you said to them, I'd sure hope not."

Meh.

Laxus knocked again. Then waited, hands clasped behind his back, until, that time, Mirajane answered the door.

She wasn't surprised to see him, it seemed, though he figured Lisanna's attitude had been a pretty big tip off.

"I'm busy, Laxus," she said, not even offering him a chance to come in. "I'm about to-"

"Leave. I know." Then he shrugged. "Can I just have a minute?"

Mira hesitated, just for a moment, before slowly backing up. "Sure, let's-"

"Away from your sister." Laxus tried hard not to look off. "Please."

Slowly, the woman came to step out on the front porch, pulling the door shut behind her.

"Come on," she said, walking passed Laxus, being sure not to touch him. "I want to go see if I can find my dog to say goodbye anyways."

Which meant they had to walk up and down the alleyways, calling out for old Alexandria to show his ugly mug. After a good minute of that, Laxus finally found his voice and spoke.

"You know, Mirajane, I wanted to talk to you before you, uh, left because I've been...concerned about a few things."

"Is that so?" She hardly seemed to be listening to him though, focused rather on the searching behind every trash bin and anything else that the animal could be hiding under.

"Yeah, I just… Mirajane, you aren't...doing this whole thing on a whim, are you?"

"What whole thing?"

"Mira-"

"You mean the leaving thing?"

He tried hard not to roll his eyes. It didn't work. "Yes, Mirajane. The leaving thing. The...being a singer thing. I mean, what is that? Didn't you grow out of that?"

"Laxus, I've told you about it before, when we were still…" She glanced up at him. "I've always wanted to go travel around Fiore and try and play bars and get a following and… It's just my dream. And I want to do it. I don't have anything holding me here. At all. Things are peaceful and I just… What difference does it make?" She even shrugged. "We are broken up, you know."

"I know. I just-"

"What difference does it make to-"

"I still care about you, woman. It wasn't a lie, when I would say that," he assured her. "I love you, Mirajane."

"Laxus, don't-"

"I do. I really do. I've told you that before. Why are you-"

"Because we're-"

"Just because it's over doesn't mean that I didn't love you. Or that I don't love you now." He kicked at the ground. "And that's why I want to make sure that you've really thought this through. That you're not just some woman to me, you know. I want to still, you know, be close. Or at least friendly. I-"

"It's not me, it's you, and you still want to be friends? Come on, Laxus, be for real. What's next? You just don't want to hold me back?"

"Well, I don't, but-"

"You're really full of it, you know that?"

"I'm only trying to-"

"Oh! Alexandria!"

And there was the stupid mutt, reared on on his back haunches as he stuck his snout in an open trashcan. At the sound of Mirajane's voice, however, the wiry old pooch jumped back and rushed right over, skidding to a stop as Mirajane knelt down to wrap her arms around the filthy beast.

Yuck.

"Oh, sweetie, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and that I care about you and that even if you don't see me for awhile, it's okay, because I'll be home soon."

When Laxus closed his eyes, he was able to pretend she was saying all that to him. Only the ever present stench of, erm, Alexandria, was a kind of a fantasy ruiner, but whatever.

"And Elf promised me that he'd feed you," Mirajane went on, "and put water in that little bowl for you. Oh, Alex, I wish I could take you with me, but I can't. I just have to go try something on my own for awhile. And I know you'll be fine here. You're always fine with here. With or without me. We just both wish that it could be with me, huh?"

Mmmm. If only the stench wasn't there (and she would stop using the dog's name). If only.

Clearing his throat loudly, Laxus got Mirajane to stare up at him before saying, "There's something that I, uh, have to say, Mira."

"You've been saying a whole lot, honestly, Lax, but-"

"I just… You know, you ran off before I got to tell you, really, why we were breaking up. I mean, really tell you. And I just… Hear me out, huh? Before you leave?"

She was still down on her knees, petting Alexandria, but did nod at him slightly, as if signaling for him to continue.

"It's just that I… The reason I broke up with you was all timing. You're always working and I'm always gone and we never get a chance to be together. Once or twice a month is just not cutting it for me anymore. And even if I took time off, you'd still be up at the bar, working and that just wouldn't do anything. We're great for one another in every way, but that."

"I wouldn't say great, but-"

"You know, woman, you aren't making this easy."

"I'm sorry, Laxus, but you're the one that broke up with me. Remember?" She went back to her dog. "That's not something that you can just pretend didn't happen. I was really caught off guard. I never thought you'd-"

"I didn't want to hurt you. I just-"

"Oh, please." Mira rolled her own eyes that time. "You didn't hurt me."

"You don't have to be strong for me, you know. I-"

"I've been broken up with before, Laxus. Not to mention I have sort of lost my parents and sister before, so I think feeling hurt about a silly little relationship-"

"Why are you being like this?" he complained. "Huh? I came over here to make amends or something and you're acting like nothing's wrong. We broke up, Mirajane. After being very serious about one another. So I just don't get what you're gaining by acting indifferent towards that fact."

Not a lot, honestly. It was rather hard too. But she could kind of tell what Laxus was attempting to do. He was trying to work his way back in as a friend or something of the like. Maybe even still someone that he could sleep with on occasion. She knew he did that with women at times, when things didn't work out.

But Mirajane didn't want that. At all. She honestly had felt something deep for the man and for him to (in her mind) so callously just end it (again, over breakfast, no less, like the rest of her day wouldn't be screwed because of that) without out warning, only to come back and ask to be friends was just a slap in the face, really. If he didn't care enough about her to work through their 'timing' issues, or at least just bring them up to her in a serious way then, maybe, they could work through them, then why should she care?

To just dump her over it, when he claimed that they were so 'great' together was unbelievable to the woman.

Which is why she just wasn't going to put up with it. At all.

Laxus' issue, however, was that she wasn't listening. Or at least not understanding. Maybe he wasn't explaining correctly? Either way, what he wanted her to know just wasn't coming out right.

He was trying to tell her that, yes, time had been why he broke up with her, but he didn't feel as if it needed to be permanent. There would come a time, he was certain, when she would have more time to spend with him and he with her, and if something better hadn't happened in either of their lives when that time rolled around, then maybe they could entertain the idea of getting back together.

And yeah, sure, late night urges and occasionally hooking up between those periods would be nice, but not expected.

Desired heavily, but…

"I'm," Mirajane said as she got to her feet and, realizing she didn't have food, Alexandria went back on his search for some (that trashcan over there looked promising), "not doing anything, Laxus. At all. Other than getting ready to take off. So if there's something you have to say to me, something real, say it now because-"

"We broke up over time, Mirajane, and now you're going to have a lot of it on your hands and-"

"Oh, Laxus, please tell me you're not-"

"-and I just don't want you to be doing this to try and get back with me or something because that's just dumb."

"-going to ask me to get back together are you?"

And then they both just stared at one another. Blushing, Mirajane looked off first as Laxus only coughed.

"I have to-"

"Mira, no, wait, I-"

"For what? Huh? What could I possibly-"

"I'm not saying let's not get back together. I just don't want you to be doing this so that we can," he complained as she only glared at him. "I mean, hey, if the whole thing was over time and you actually did just want to get away from the hall and now can spend more time with me, then-"

"So basically," Mira began, voice taking that tone with him (he hated that tone), "you've gone out now, done whatever it is you wanted to do with whoever it is that you wanted to while we were broken up and now want to come back to me and-"

"What? No. I just told you this is about time. Solely. I didn't break up with you to...sleep with someone else. I-"

"Don't lie, Laxus."

"I'm not."

That time her roll eye was her angry one. "Oh, whatever."

"I haven't. Seriously-"

"Laxus, just tell me. Because we can get over that."

"I didn't-"

"Or at least talk about it. Because that's kind of a low thing to-"

"Mira, I'm telling you that I didn't-"

"It's not that serious. I mean, I've slept with someone since-"

"You've what?" Laxus didn't care then that they were in the alley or that other people were around to hear. Mira had missed her chance to make a scene, but he was going to be taking his. "When? What are you-"

"Oh, shut up, Laxus. Like you didn't sleep with-"

"I'm telling you, woman, that I didn't."

Mira blinked. "Honestly?"

"Honestly!"

"Oh." Her arms, which had become crossed, fell to her sides then. "W-Well-"

"Who did you sleep with?"

"Laxus-"

"It's only been a month!"

"It's been a lot more then a month."

"Hardly!"

"It wouldn't matter if it had been a day, Laxus," she reminded with a frown. "You're the one that broke up with me, remember? Not the other way around. Not even close."

He deflated a bit. Then, lips stuck out as if he were pouting, he said, "Do I know him?"

"What difference-"

"I do, don't I?"

"Lax-"

"Does it go to the guild? Who was it? Who?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Just tell me-"

"We're broken up." She gave him a harsh look then. "Per your decision. So you don't get to know things like that, Lax. I'm sorry."

"Oh, now you're sorry? After going out and sleeping with someone-"

"Which I have a right to do, you know."

She most definitely did. No denying it. None.

However, Laxus didn't have to like it. He could respect it. Couldn't do anything to stop it. And would even admit that it had to happen sometime, so why not then? But that didn't mean he couldn't feel a bit of a tug of possessiveness.

"I have to go, Laxus," Mirajane said after they both just stood there for a moment, silently. He didn't want to let her go, but if she was that done with him, then what could he say?

He didn't even raise a hand to wave goodbye when she did before turning to walk off, back for her home, leaving him in that alleyway, mostly alone, although Alexandria was still lingering around, searching out a tasty treat.

So he went home. And Mirajane went...wherever she was going. Huh. Not only had he dropped the ball on getting her to stay, he also forgot to ask where she was headed.

Not that things would have worked anyhow, he reminded himself frequently. Mirajane wasn't just taking time off from the bar; she was leaving indefinitely to go start another time consuming thing that just wouldn't mesh well with a traveling S-Class wizard.

The only thing for Laxus to do was to let Mirajane go, both physically and mentally. So he did. Heard random tidbits about her up at the hall or from Evergreen and, when he and Lisanna finally made a shaky amends, it was her about six months later that told him that Mirajane would be back in town in the coming days.

"Honestly?" He was holding a job flier which she was waiting to take from his hands, so that she could process it, but Laxus wasn't giving it up then.

"Yep," Lisanna said with the nod of her head as she continued to hold her hand out, waiting for him to give her the request form. He still didn't.

"Well, do you know the actual day she says she'll be back here?" He glanced down at the job before back at her. "Or-"

"I really doubt she wants to see you, Laxus."

"What?" Then he snarled at her, just enough to get the youngest Strauss to giggle. He always liked making Lisanna giggle. When she'd been mad at him was worse than breaking up with Mirajane. He didn't know Lisanna well when she they were young, but when she'd died… He just enjoyed having her back too much to ever fight with her. "I didn't say nothin' about seein' your filthy sister."

"She's only filthy because she slept with you."

"Hey-"

Giggling even more, Lisanna finally snatched the job, though it was to go tack it back up then. With a grin, she said, "Guess who she's taking with her when she leaves?"

Laxus leaned against the bar, staring into the deep blues that Lisanna shared with her sister, though not to nearly the same intensity.

"I'm guessin' since your brother's still being jerked around by Evergreen, Cana's a drunk, Erza's the Master, Gramps is too old, Lucy comes with the baggage a la Natsu and Happy, and Mirajane's out of close friends after that, I'm guessin'...her dog?"

"Laxus-"

"You?" he asked seriously that time. Adding a snort, he said, "What good would you do for Mirajane, out on the road?"

"She's actually doing very well, thank you very much, with her music." Then Lisanna grinned down at the job request. "Or at least she's getting some bars to let her play frequently."

"Mmmm."

"And she wants someone there with her. You know, someone she knows. Really knows. And I'm tired of playing barmaid."

"Already?" he asked. "After your sister put in so many good years?"

"I'm not like Mirajane. This place bores me to tears." Lisanna glanced down at herself then before mumbling, "And I don't pull in nearly as many tips as Sis."

Reaching out, Laxus tapped her on the head before straightening up. "Yeah, well, I'm sure you'll be a good person to keep her safe on the road. You know, the person that's scariest transformation is a giant bunny-"

"I'll have you know that my feline takeover is very threatening."

So, even though he'd been planning on getting out of town for awhile, Laxus hunkered down in Magnolia and waited for Mirajane to come strolling on through. And then he waited three more days, after finding out she was there because, hey, he wasn't desperate.

Just lonely. Sort of. Even six months out from their relationship, Laxus had to admit that things were still kind of falling back into place. For over a year his life had been structured around being with Mirajane and the little things that they would do together. He'd thought that without her, he'd be able to get right back to what he'd done before her, but it just wasn't true.

Mirajane really took care of Laxus in a way that he didn't realize until it was all over. Yeah, sure, fine, they didn't get to spend a lot of time alone together. At all. But up at the hall, when he'd come in, she'd always spend her breaks with him. Knew his drink order by heart. Cooked his steak just right. Never burnt his bacon the way the others did because she realized just what 'extra crispy' meant when it came to him.

And man if she didn't take care of his apartment for him while he was away. His fridge would be stocked when he got in and his sheets were changed far more regularly with her staying over there. She made sure his clothes actually made it into the closet and dresser, made sure his mail got taken care of while he was out, and always was over, even when she worked all night, when he came in to rub his back because it had been getting tight as of late, when he wasn't out on a job.

Which yeah, pretty much sounded like extremely shallow reasons to miss someone, but it wasn't like that. Not really. It was more of her understanding just what he needed when he was home and doing it, without being asked, because she enjoyed that. Taking care of others. Of him. She always had. And he appreciated it. All of it.

He just appreciated it even more when it was, you know, gone. And she was gone.

Laxus missed other stuff about Mirajane too, of course. Just being around her relaxed him, for some reason, which he desperately needed in his life. And she listened to him. Fully. Listened when he griped about how annoying others were and, unlike the Thunder Legion, would actually talk him through his feelings.

Just why did it piss him off when the others were goofing off? Or when one of the lowly members came back unsuccessful from a job? What made him so upset at the sight of Natsu and his cohorts breaking things in the hall? What difference did it make to him if Makarov was being too lenient on the others?

Or even things away from the hall. Like, why was it that he had such a hard time saying it? That he loved her? When he kept insisting he did, but would sort of choke on the words as they came out? And that time when he got really upset, on the anniversary of his mother's death, when she took off just so that they could sit around and not talk at all about it until the very end, when she got him to open up about a lot of shit that he'd never tell anyone else.

And then suddenly, without even considering what losing all that might mean to the daily flow of his life, he just cut it out, because they weren't getting enough time together. Actual time. Dates. Free days where neither of them had anything to do.

Six months out, he felt a tad foolish for that. Hearing that Mirajane was doing so well on her side of the break up didn't help him feel any better either. Maybe less guilty, but no less regretful.

Not that things were miserable for him. He kinda did regain some of his freedom. Came and went as he pleased, answered to no one, slept around again without any concern. That was all great.

Just...not having someone there for him, waiting back at home, no matter what, kinda...sucked.

In a major way.

All of that was in mind when he showed up to the Strauss house that day Mirajane was in town. Only, when he did arrive, he found that he wasn't the only one there. Rather, the last people on the face of Earthland that he wanted to see were.

"Hey, Laxus! You come to send Lisanna off by fighting me?"

Natsu. His cat. Lucy. Yep. Last people. Not even exaggerating.

Laxus didn't have time to focus on them though. Rather, his attention turned to Lisanna, who was standing out there with them, a duffel bag at her feet, clearly packed to head out.

"You're leaving today?" was all he asked, quite dumbly. "You and Mira?"

Lisanna was actually trying to soak up the last few Natsu moments she was getting then and only frowned as he walked across their front lawn and over to the porch. It was bad enough that she was having to share those moments with Lucy and Happy (who, don't get her wrong, she was going to miss a whole bunch too, but still; Natsu was Natsu), but now Laxus too?

"Mirajane's inside, Laxus," she tried hard not to snap as she said. "So-"

"Nope." The front door opened. "Now I'm out here too."

"Mira." Laxus coughed then, just from the sight of her, into his hand and Happy, who had secretly been hoping for some sort of love triangle to finally come to its head between Lisanna, Lucy, and Natsu (he'd been hoping for this for a long time yet still wasn't sure how he'd weather the aftermath), quickly abandoned ship and turned his attention into the next best thing; whatever the hell was about to go down between the eldest Strauss and Laxus. "There you are."

She walked right down the steps, bypassing the others to go stand in front of him. "Here I am."

"You look...nice."

And she did. Honest. Time off had done Mirajane a world of good. Her smile didn't seem so plastered on, her hair was down in that way that Laxus thought was so hot, and when she looked him in the eyes, there were no signs of tiredness at all. He had no idea how much this had to do with just being home for a week or if traveling as a musician was somehow less stressful than running (because, honestly, Makarov hadn't run it in far longer than anyone was willing to admit) a guildhall.

"Thank you," Mirajane giggled, smiling brightly up at him.

A beat passed in which they both heard Lisanna begin, once more, her long goodbyes to Natsu (who was kinda over the whole thing at that point, honestly), and Mirajane and Laxus both looked off, both contemplating if they should start theirs.

Or were they still on hello?

"Did you...come by for something? Was it to see Lisanna off?" Mira glanced over her shoulder at her sister. "Because I really don't think you're the slayer she wanted to-"

"You weren't going to come by my place? Before you left?"

"Well, considering you didn't come by mine-"

"What do you consider this?"

"Um, I'm not sure because you haven't been ultra clear yet what you're doing."

He'd get back to her on that. You know, when he figured it out.

"I just...figured I'd come say hi." He looked off. "I thought you'd be here longer, is all."

"You've never been on this side of it, have you?"

"What?"

"Being left for a job?"

Mira meant that to be cheeky, but the way Laxus' eyes clouded over, she knew she'd spoken without thinking of his past.

"Yeah, Mira, I have. But I really don't want to get into that right now."

Which made an awkward moment all the more gauche. Neither could look at the other then and, even though Lisanna was more than keeping the three on the porch busy, they couldn't help to feel even worse with an audience and, ugh, why did he come there again?

"Um, well," Mira began after a moment. "If you just wanted to say hi, then-"

"N-No, I actually, uh… How's, you know, your little singing thing been going?"

"It's not little, but-"

"That's not what I meant. I-"

"It's going fine. Thanks." Mira was being very cordial with him. Not at all how his nostalgia had played her back on those cold nights where he was alone in bed and just couldn't stop thinking about her. "And you've been fine? On your jobs? No...accidents or-"

"Never."

"Good." That grin was forced then as Mirajane held out an arm and gave him the stiffest hug of all time. Against his chest, where her head was awkwardly resting, she said, "Well, I'll see you next-"

"I should come with you."

And that got Mira to freeze. Completely.

"W-What?" Pulling back, she could only stare. "Laxus?"

His words caught him off guard too (sorta; he'd been thinking them since he found out she was back in town, but held them in) and he only stood there for a moment before figuring if his subconscious slipped them out, then he might as well push forwards with it.

"You know." He looked off. "As your...roadie or whatever. You and Lisanna, out on your own, bumbling around Fiore, that just spells trouble. You need a-"

"Real man to go with them?"

Oh shit.

"I've been saying that since the beginning," came the voice of Elfman as he came out of the house, eyes bloodshot from crying for, oh, ever. The only reason he heard them was because, after Laxus' outburst, Lisanna and the others stopped talking just to stare over at the couple (well, the others did; Natsu really didn't care what happened between Mirajane and Laxus, literally at all), leaving the muscular man, who was in the house, to overhear just what was said. "But the two of them don't think that I should come along. That I might-"

"Elfman, are you talking or are you planning?"

"And Ever's here too," Laxus grumbled from the sound of her in the house.

Right. Because if Lisanna and Mira were both officially out of the Strauss house then Evergreen could unofficially move in. Which would require planning. In which she no doubt meant she was going to completely redo the house without Mira's permission (or with it; women were weird and territorial at times, but even weirder sometimes and not at all, so Laxus wasn't really sure which way that was going) while she was gone.

"Oh, Laxus!" Evergreen was rushing out onto the porch as well then too. "What are you doing here?"

"Being a man," Elfman informed her though his girlfriend ignored that, still staring expectantly over at her idol for an explanation.

"He's, like, being super desperate and weird," Lisanna remarked as Lucy took a step behind Natsu for protection, no doubt predicting a large lightning strike to soon wipe out the entire porch. "So knock it off, Laxus."

"Oh, right," Ever remarked, glancing over at Lisanna before at Natsu. "He's the one being weird."

"What is that supposed to-"

"I'm trying," Laxus growled, glaring at all of them, "to have a conversation with Mirajane over here. So if you'd all kindly-"

"L-Laxus, what did you mean?" Mirajane had taken a few steps back. "Come with me? Why would you-"

"Because, Mira," he began as it was clear the two of them weren't getting any privacy any time soon, "you need a...man-"

"A real man!" Elfman called.

"-to be with you. Not because you're, like, weak or whatever. I would never say that."

"Better not," Lisanna remarked.

"But," he went on, "other people might try to take advantage of you. I'm sure they have already. And I-"

"Oh, Mira uses things to her advantage too."

That time, at Lisanna's words, Laxus turned his attention to her. "What?"

"Lis-" Mira tried, but her sister only shrugged.

"You know," she said as Happy, who was about blissed out from his position atop Lucy's head, could hardly contain his giddiness over the whole situation, "Mira uses certain assets to her advantage."

"Assets?" Natsu scratched at his head. "Like what?"

Lucy's face was beyond red as she only put a hand over her face and mumbled to him, "Let's just let this one die, huh?"

"Oh my, Mirajane," Evergreen remarked as Elfman, who had been pumped over the whole man thing, turned a bit green and looked rather sick. "Tell me you're not sleeping around to get to play at these bars? Perhaps I should go too. Because I would love to see just what assets you're-"

"More like ass and tits. Instead of assets? Am I right?"

"What the hell is he doing here?" Laxus complained as Bickslow came bounding out of the house as well, babies trailing along behind him. "I mean, seriously?"

"Oy, boss," the seith complained, pushing up his visor to stare over at him. "I was helpin' Evergreen move in."

"I'm not moving in." The stone mage looked off. "I'm just...moving...things in."

"Nice cover," Lisanna mumbled which only got her a thankfully behind glasses glare.

"Uh, N-Natsu, I really feel like this is where we should probably depart," Lucy spoke up from behind him where she was still blushing heavily and also hiding, just in case Laxus did decide to strike someone down. "Or-"

"No, wait!" Lisanna quickly dropped tormenting her sister then, turning back to stare at Natsu. "I didn't finish saying goodbye."

"Why should I even give you a chance to?" Natsu went back to glaring off. "Takin' off like this, with no warning."

"I've told you for a month I was leaving."

"Well, I forgot, okay? Before Lucy drug me over here today-"

"A thankless job, I might add," the celestial mage complained as Happy bounced off her head to go land in Lisanna's arms. "Just saying."

"I'll miss you, Lisanna," Happy offered up. "And I remembered you were leaving. Here, look in my pack. I got a fish just for you!"

"Uh, w-well, Happy, that's really nice, but-"

"You don't want it? Great." He grinned. As if he was ever planning on her taking it anyways. "Thought that counts, I guess."

Natsu only snorted. "Don't get why everyone has to be moving away and leaving. Now Laxus is too? This is really something."

"Laxus isn't-" Mira started, but her sister cut her off.

"You left for a year! Without even telling anyone! At all! And-"

"And?"

"If you don't see the correlation in that, then I don't even know what we're talking about!"

Laxus blinked, out there in the yard. Then he glanced back at Mirajane.

"I really don't care about teenage drama hour up there," he told her simply before moving to grab her arm. "C'mere. Please. I want to talk to you. Seriously."

"L-Laxus-"

"If I fix your sister will you walk with me?" He glanced back up at the porch. "Hey, flame retardant; she wants you to ask her to fucking stay. Idiot."

"Shut up, Laxus," Lisanna hissed as Evergreen only giggled into her hand. But he was already dragging Mirajane off by the arm who went more willingly than she'd like to admit.

That time they didn't walk around in the alleyways. Instead, they set off down the road and, only when they were far enough from the house, Laxus slowly released her arm.

"You weren't being serious back there," she said simply. "You couldn't have been."

"Well, I'm not expert on stupid love stories, but yeah, I think your sister's just building up to Natsu begging for her to stay or something, which he isn't going to do. Or Happy's trying to build that up. Maybe. Whatever. I really don't care-"

"Not that, Laxus." She gave him a look before rolling her eyes. "About going with me."

"Oh." He took a deep breath then. "I really don't… It just kind of tumbled out."

"I figured."

"But I have missed you, Mirajane." He glanced down at her. "A lot. And I just… I dunno. I've been thinking."

"I'm sure."

"And this entire time, I kept thinking about how your shit was getting in the way of us. Your job was screwing up our timing and then you leaving did and… But what if it's me? I mean, my schedule isn't easy to work around."

"It's really not, considering it's not a schedule at all."

He nodded. "That's my point. Maybe it was...me. And… You made far more time for me than I ever did you. I-"

"Laxus, it's been, like, six months. Just-"

"For you, that might seem like forever," he said, glancing down at her. "But for me, that's just been four very long jobs. No time at all. And I've had a lot of time to think about you and what you've been doing… Granted, I didn't think you were just out sleeping with all of Fiore for gigs-"

"She was exaggerating and you know it," Mira hissed, glaring up at him. Laxus only gave her a slight nod.

"I know."

"I mean, I never slept with someone for a chance to play anywhere," Mirajane went on. "I might have flirted a little. And yeah, I did sleep with a few people-"

"I really don't want to talk about this. At all."

"You sleep around all the time," she complained, giving him a look. Laxus nodded.

"I also don't want to talk about that either though."

"Then-"

"I don't...have to take jobs, Mirajane," he told her simply. "I mean, I do, for jewels, and because I love it, but it doesn't have to be such a constant thing. Not really. I haven't put a lot of thought into this, but… I could have Freed read me to the S-Class jobs, back at home, over a lacrima, take them, go out and get them done while you're busy with your shit-"

"What are you saying? That you'd be-"

"Be with you. On your little- sorry, not little, but your thing, your singing thing. I could go with you and take jobs on the side and help your income and we can just be together. I know you'll be busy and shit, but it would be like-"

"L-Laxus-"

"I just...I dunno. Never mind. I just… I really liked being with you. And maybe I'm not remembering things right or I'm just trying to cram everything I want to say into this single moment and it's just not all coming out right, but I… You know, I still care about you. And I… If you don't want to be in Magnolia anymore, then fine; I don't really like being here much either. And if we could get the timing better now, with us not being in Mag-"

"But it was never about timing for me, Laxus." And Mirajane meant that. "At all. It was for you and, yeah, sometimes it bugged me too, but I was willing to work through that. You weren't."

"But I was willing to get back together," he argued. "When time did work itself out. And now look; it has! So why-"

"I've enjoyed myself, this six months, Laxus." She glanced up at him. "A lot. And...I don't...want to be in a relationship right now."

That got him to stop walking. He just stood there, forcing her to stop too and stare at him.

"It's true," she insisted. "The best thing you did was end our relationship. It gave me a chance to go out and try something that I've wanted for so long and I'm really enjoying it. And I think I'll enjoy it even more with Lisanna coming with me. But...with you being there it would be… I love you too, Laxus. A lot. And you wanted me to wait, remember, for when timing was better? Well, now you get a chance to do that for yourself. I mean...I'm sorry, Lax, but...I don't want to be with you right now."

Which he couldn't be too mad about. Right? Right. Right? Sure. Whatever. 'cause, you know, it was basically the same thing he did to her. Right? When she felt like things were going perfectly and he just ruined everything? Now here he was, ready to bear his soul to her, only for her to claim that she wasn't down with that.

No hurt feelings.

None what so ever.

Heh.

Laxus didn't go back to Mirajane's place with her. Didn't even talk to her. Just grumbled out something about how if she felt that way, fine; go fuck around some more in hopes of one day becoming a mediocre singer, see if he cared.

Which, admittedly, was not the right thing to say. And also contributed to why, when they ran into one another a few months later in some far off town, neither wanted to speak to the other.

But Lisanna, who was in love with life and being away from Natsu's immaturity and traveling and being away from Natsu's ignorance to her love and meeting new people and being even further away from Natsu's apparent desire to not to be her boyfriend, definitely had more than a few things to say to the slayer.

"Oh my gosh, Laxus!" She was practically bouncing in her seat, at the sight of him passing their table out on some patio cafe. Mirajane, however, was refusing to even glance his way. "I can't believe you're here! What are the chances?" Then she was jumping up to go grab his arm and pull him over. "You have to eat with us! Right now! Are you on a job? No? Eat with us!"

"L-Lisanna," he tried as she drug him right over. "I really don't think-"

"I haven't seen someone from Magnolia in forever, much less someone from Fairy Tail." She sat him down right between she and Mirajane. Still, the former model refused to meet his eyes. It was rather easy too, given the fancy sunglasses she was wearing. "And I'm super glad that it was you that I ran into!"

"Why are you yelling?" he grumbled as she only giggled "Have you been drinking?"

Mira, finally, spoke up at that, though it was just to quip, "Lisanna's become pretty good at that."

Grinning, the youngest Strauss only asked, "What are you doing here, Laxus? Something fun? Or are you on a job?"

"I just was passing through," he said, arms folded over his chest as he stared at her. "I'm on my way back home after finishing a j-"

"So you can stay in town tonight and come see Mirajane preform?"

"What?" Mira glared over at her sister. "Lisanna-"

"I really don't think-" the slayer tried, but Lisanna was having none of it. Only spoke over both of them.

"So it's settled. Great! Now let me tell you all about what we've been doing since we last saw you."

Which, for a completely Natsu-less story, his name sure came up a lot. Every time Lisanna mentioned a guy that she went out with on their misadventure (or slept with; Laxus had a feeling she was mostly just enjoying that part of freedom from Magnolia more than anything else), somehow she'd mention something about stupid Fairy Tail and inevitably Natsu and ugh, Laxus was glad she didn't directly ask him something about the other slayer because he might have barfed.

Mirajane seemed pissed at Laxus for not finding some excuse to leave (or maybe her sister for even inviting him over in the first place), but kept quiet. As did Laxus, save the few times that Lisanna asked him a question or required a response. And though he didn't really like the idea of her drinking so much (and definitely hated that she was, apparently, seeing all these men because, as much as he hated the stupid Salamander, at least he was safe and, well, not responsible, but not completely inept either when it came to looking out for Lisanna), she seemed really...happy. A lot of times Laxus kind of felt bad for Lisanna. Back at home, Mirajane was the most important Strauss, Elfman was the loudest one, and she was kind of just the one that pined after Natsu and did her sister's bidding. You know, if you just didn't want to classify her as the one that should have died.

He knew a lot of people just thought of her in that way.

If she'd found herself (or at least something) on her and Mirajane's trip around Fiore, then good for her.

His demon, on the other hand, he did not like the idea of 'finding herself' anywhere other than back at home where he knew the people in the guildhall were smart enough to know better than to even think about putting the moves on his woman, relationship over or not.

Laxus found himself drifting his gaze over to her a lot during Lisanna's stories.

"So you'll come, right?" Lisanna asked when, finally, she'd finished her drink and Mirajane whatever dessert had been on her plate. "Laxus? Tonight? Please?"

"I really don't-"

"Oh, just come, Laxus," Mirajane complained, giving him a look. He only stared back at her though. "Or else Lisanna will blame me for it."

Wow. Okay, so Mirajane wasn't even going to try and pretend to be perky for him? Laxus wasn't sure if that meant he was so far off her radar that he didn't matter or he should be honored that he was the only one she wouldn't put on an act for, pissed off or not.

"Alright," he said, a bit uneasy then as he got to his feet. "Where is-"

"Yay!" Lisanna launched herself at him then and, damn, fine, they'd had an okay relationship when he and Mirajane were dating, but they were never that close.

Just how much had she been drinking?

"Okay, Lisanna," Mirajane finally said as Laxus didn't move to hug her, but wasn't too sure if he should push her away or not. "Calm down."

Another giggle. And then she told Laxus where Mirajane would be preforming that night and, with a grumble about how he really hadn't planned on paying a cover charge just to have fun that night, he agreed to be there.

And he was. That night. There. Only, Lisanna was sorta shocked to see him.

"Oh, wow, Laxus, I didn't think you'd actually show up," she remarked as he approached her in the bar that night. She was at a table with a these two guys that Laxus definitely didn't want anywhere near her, just from the looks of them (and from the way she was hanging off one). Making a face, he only sat down, much to the annoyance of the other men.

"You told me to come," he pointed out. "You insisted."

"Yeah, but I never thought you'd listen to me."

"If you want me to leave-"

"No." Lisanna even grinned, staring across the table at him before glancing up at the tiny stage on the other end of the bar. "Sis'll be on soon. And she won't say it, but I'm sure she'll be glad to see you."

Yeah, well, Laxus wasn't too glad to be around the new Lisanna too long, so he only went over to the bar to order a drink and find somewhere else to sit for awhile. And suffer through Mirajane's set.

It wasn't so much that he didn't think Mirajane had a nice voice. Because she did. And it wasn't that he thought she wasn't talented on her guitar. Because she was. It was more of the songs that Mira sang that bothered him.

They were all about past relationships. Good ones, bad ones, anything and everything. He'd never liked hearing her sing her own songs when they were dating. Rather, he'd have her sing covers of songs that he listened to in his headphones and, with giggles, Mirajane would typically comply because Laxus was just so cute.

With her preforming at the bar, however, this, of course, did not occur.

Still, it had been a long time since Laxus had heard Mirajane sing. A very long time. And he wouldn't admit it, but sometimes, late at night, he'd wished that he'd recorded her, once or twice, singing him some of his songs, just the way he liked them. And though he didn't hear any covers like he would have liked, just the sound of Mirajane's voice was rather calming. Relaxing.

Almost as if they were spending that year together again, when they were still together, and on rare nights she'd sing him to sleep, playing softly on her guitar.

"Did you like that song?"

Lisanna came to join him up at the bar eventually, grinning at him. Laxus had been listening to Mira sing up there, head down, staring into his beer mug, but glanced at her when she sat down.

"Hmmm?"

"That song's about you, silly."

"W-What? No."

"Mmmhmm."

"Was not."

"How do you know?"

He flicked her forehead with a frown. "Because she's been singing that one for years, dummy."

"Awe." Lisanna giggled, reaching up to rub at her head. "I thought I'd trick you. Make you nervous."

"Why would I care if she wrote something about me?" He went back to staring into his mug. "Literally at all?"

Lisanna glanced up at the stage, where Mira was still strumming away and had the rapt attention of most the men in the room. To Laxus she asked, "Where are you headed next?"

"Home. Whatever towns are in the way of that," he said simply. "You?"

"We're here for awhile. Mira and the bar management have a pretty good thing going and a few other bars in close by towns. I guess this is kinda home base for the moment." Grinning, she said, "But we're going home soon. To Magnolia. Well, soon as in, like, two months or three or so."

Laxus shrugged a bit. "Yeah, well, I'm sure Gramps and the others'll be glad to see you."

"It's still a long way away though. Even though it's soon. You know?"

"You seem to be having a pretty grand time out here," he remarked, glancing over his shoulder to find where those guys had gotten off to. Nowhere. Just sitting over there arguing from the looks of it. Laxus could only hope that it wasn't over Lisanna.

Seriously, if he could go back, he would have never teased her or made fun of her about Natsu. Would have just let that damn thing happen and not made a big fuss over it. If only.

Laxus got ditched by Lisanna eventually and just sat alone, up at the bar, drinking until Mirajane finished her set. He wasn't expecting much after it from her, but was pleasantly (in someways) surprised when she came over to him eventually.

"If you don't buy me a drink soon," she said as she came to claim the empty seat beside him, "then I'm going to be too drunk off other guys' drinks to enjoy it."

Glancing down at her, he asked, "What makes you think I'll buy you a drink?"

"Because you're just going to, so get over it."

"Do I have to talk to you? Along with this drink?"

"Nope."

Laxus held up a hand to wave over the bartender. "Perfect."

A drink turned into two and no conversation turned into Mirajane telling him about what she'd been doing since they last spoke as he sat there awkwardly, trying hard not to let on that he really didn't care.

Because seriously, he just didn't.

Mira's stories, unlike Lisanna's, seemed to involve a lot less guys, but Laxus was certain he was only hearing the censored versions. Just like how if she were to ask him of what he'd been up to since they'd last seen one another, the last thing he'd tell her that he was so down at one point that he drowned himself in booze and women until he didn't feel so bad.

It had taken awhile.

"So I guess things are still turning out okay," Mirajane went on as Laxus hardly listened. "I mean, sure, I'm not, like, doing some insane amount of gigs or anything, but I'm doing enough. And I am sort of supporting Lisanna-"

"And her drinking habit?"

"It's not as bad as it seems," Mira told him with a frown. "She just met a new guy last week, is all."

"Right." Laxus glanced around for her, but she seemed to be gone then, as well as those two guys. "Was that the dark haired one with glasses or-"

"He's back again?" Mira made a face before staring down at her empty glass. "i should have never let her leave Magnolia."

Laxus had to concur, but kept quiet, as it wasn't his place to say so.

"Everyone gets to taste freedom once," he remarked simply. "Some of us just like it more than others."

"And some of us," Mirajane quipped in what he was sure was a slight to him, "just don't know what they have till it's gone."

"Is it that obvious?" he mumbled, in that weird drunk place that he wasn't out of it, in any regard, but was definitely a bit looser around the tongue. "That I-"

"I mean, surely she sees that flirting around the edge with Natsu is more than these stupid guys that don't care about her at all ever will be?"

"-still have been thinking a lot about you and how I fucked up and shit, I'm sorry, Mira."

Silence.

Then, suddenly, their gauche moment was ruined as someone threw their arms around around both of them, giggling the entire time.

"Mirajane," Lisanna sang, breath smelling strongly of liquor. "I'm gonna go, huh? So you get home okay, alright?"

"Go where?" Mirajane sat up then, glancing at her sister. "Lisanna-"

"Just somewhere." She dropped her arm around Laxus to hug her sister from behind. "Bye! And Laxus said he'd pay my tab."

"Laxus said what?" The slayer sat up at that. "Because whatever he said, it definitely wasn't-"

"Bye, Laxus." He got a hug too. A tight one. He wasn't happy with Lisanna any longer though and actually shoved her off. Still, she only giggled and said, "I'll see you around, okay? You should come see Mira play again some time."

When he was having so much more fun embarrassing himself in front of the woman instead?

"She's definitely come alive," the slayer complain to Mirajane after Lisanna left, hand in hand with some guy. "Out here."

"She's just getting to do what we all did, when we were kids and used to go out on jobs," Mirajane remarked with a sigh. "I guess. I mean, we actually had to work and put in effort to get the jewels to blow on partying and hanging out, but after all she's been through-"

"Been through? You mean getting a second shot at life?"

"Laxus-"

"Your brother would have a heart attack."

"Yeah, well," she sighed, "that's why we left him back in Magnolia, isn't it?"

Sighing himself, Laxus started, "Hey, Mirajane, about before-"

"You wanna get out of here? Laxus?"

He blinked. Then he frowned. Then he stared down at her. "If this is because I'm paying your sister's tab, don't feel the need to pay me back; I'm going to just have Ever steal some stuff from you guys' place and pawn it for me."

"Just shut up."

He could do that. He preferred to do that.

What Laxus didn't get, of course, was that Mirajane, in fact, wasn't having as great a time as Lisanna. Sure, she loved playing her music and the attention she was getting from it, as well as meeting new people and seeing new places, but she was also extremely homesick. She wanted to be around someone in Fairy Tail other than her sister who was looking less and less like her old self by the minute (give Mira's own transformation at that age, she couldn't bitch too much). If Laxus hadn't just apologized (and sort of drunkenly admitted that he was still into her) though, she still might not have done much.

But he did say what he did. And she did feel the way that she did.

So why not just go for it? If he was going back home and she wouldn't be there for months? It might be one of the only times they'd see one another for a long time. Why waste it if they both wanted it?

"You getting used to the hotel life?" Laxus asked her when they arrived at the tiny one she and Lisanna were currently staying at. "I know you said you hated them that time we went on vacation together."

"We had time for a vacation?"

"Don't ruin this, Mira."

"This," she said as he shut the door behind himself, "isn't really anything until I make it something."

Alrighty then.

Mira felt icky, she claimed, after her show and excused herself into the bathroom while Laxus only went to sit on the end of one of the beds, waiting. He had a lot of time to think. And realize that Mirajane was probably drunk too. And lonely, like him.

He got that way, on long jobs or sabbaticals. Even before Mirajane. It was hard, being away for so long from home. Even when he didn't like being in Magnolia or any of his Fairy Tall members, it was still better to be there than away for extended periods of time.

It crossed his mind about then, that maybe he should turn Mirajane down, be a good guy and tell her that she'd been drinking and that was no good and that, hey, if she was still in to him the next day, when they'd both had a good chance to get associated with one another again...

But then he remembered that Mirajane wasn't just some random; she was his demon and the reason they were there then, in that motel room, wasn't just because they were associates, but because they were...whatever they were, and he wanted to have that back. Even if it was just for an hour or so.

It helped too that when he was teetering between either leaving or staying that Mirajane opened the bathroom door and strode out there in next to nothing.

That helped the decision making a lot.

"I missed you here," he mumbled when she came to claim her place on his lap, Laxus leaning back, hands rested on her hips as he stared up at her. "Demon."

"Mmmm." She wouldn't look him in the eyes. "I missed being called that."

"Yeah?"

Sort of. Mostly just anything other than just Mirajane or Mira. Something special. That only someone who truly knew her would be able to get away with.

"Yeah."

"Then I'll say it more." He leaned forwards once more so that he could nuzzle his head in between her neck and shoulder. "Demon."

"Mmmm."

Laxus had to admit, being with someone he had a history with was good for him as well. Mira knew about how there was a certain part of his tummy that he liked for her to press against and that he hated the feeling of nails against his flesh (it was a turnoff to him, big time, and really ruined the moment), but at the same time he very much so enjoyed teeth (don't ask). Kinda like how he knew how she hated eye contact (at any point during) and was not a big fan of snuggling (which he thought was odd, but never made a complaint because, hey, whatever).

It was just those sorts of things that you get to know after a year that can't be made up for by the thrill of a short fling. And, when it was all said and done, Laxus was glad that he hadn't tried to force himself to walk out because of 'moral reasons' or whatever, as just lying there with Mira felt more right than most things had recently.

"Laxus?"

"Mmmm?"

"Please tell me you don't have a girlfriend."

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"Good."

"That happen a lot to you?"

"Only once." She shifted on the bed, giving him her back. "But a long time ago. Before we ever dated. I usually ask before I… But with you, I just figured..."

"Oh what? That I'm not boyfriend material?"

"That you've still not gotten the timing right for anyone."

"I had it right for you, but-"

"Come off it."

"No."

Sighing, Mirajane said, "It's beyond late, I felt like my whole set was junk-"

"It wasn't." He wiggled his toes. "I liked it."

"Shut up."

"No."

Mira glanced over her shoulder at him, but he didn't move in the slightest. Only laid there, eyes nearly shut.

"Are you staying?"

"I did buy a hotel room for the night and my stuff's there, but… It's not going to be weird, is it? For Lisanna? You guys are sharing a room, right?"

"She won't be back tonight."

"Oh." Laxus blinked. Then frowned. "Please don't tell me about anything like that again."

"I won't have time to. You're leaving in the morning, right?" When she was answered with silence, she repeated, "Right?"

"Well… If today wasn't a great set-"

"Laxus-"

"I should get," he complained, "to see a great set."

"Hear."

"Whatever."

Pushing up, Mirajane shifted again, so that she was on her back as well, before saying, "It won't be tomorrow."

"That's fine. I have some things to do in town, apparently, until then."

"Which are?"

"Well, you, obviously."

"Laxus-"

"And I have some unmanly men to show what a real man is."

"Do what?"

"I might not like your brother, Mirajane," he grumbled as, that time, he gave her his back, "but I can't just let this all go down without extracting some form of revenge for him."

"And what sort of revenge were you thinking?"

"I dunno yet. Leaning towards telling all of those guys that Lisanna's mine and therefore not theirs and completely ruining her social life-"

"Belonging to you seems like it could make a social life in some circles, but go on."

"-but that would be too weird. For you. Us. Right?"

"I dunno. As long as you, like, aren't actually attracted to my sister-"

"Gross. She's like twelve."

"Not even close."

"Feels like it."

"Uh-huh."

"Or," he went on loudly, wishing to leave that portion of the conversation, "I could, you know, just have a talk with Lisanna."

"That sounds interesting."

"About how she should have a talk with you and calm the hell down."

"Less interesting."

Relaxing into the bed, he changed his mind then as he said, "She seems really happy, anyways."

"She is."

"And who am I to judge?"

"Not very pure yourself."

"And, I mean, I'm sure I'm just catching her on a bad night."

"Kind of."

"But mostly, I think I still see her as a little kid."

"Yeah."

"And as my girlfriend's little sister."

"Probably."

"And I really just don't want her to, like, turn into Cana or something."

"Or something."

"And how can a kid grow up in a bar, only to become a drunk when they leave it?"

"Maybe it was influential in the early years and now she's realized her true calling as a Fairy Tail Mage; to drink a lot and bog me down with requests and never ending needs."

"Well, you are good at filling requests. All kinds."

"Hmmm." Mira paused for a moment before saying, "How long are we going to talk around us and pretend to really be that interested in Lisanna?"

"I figured as long as you'd let us."

Letting out a breath, she said, "I don't think that we're ready to date again."

"I am."

"No. You're ready to sleep with me again."

"Well, I already did that and am still intrigued by you, so-"

"It's different, Laxus, when you've dated before. There's certain expectations. On both of us. And right now-"

"If you don't think you can be monogamous, Mirajane," he chided, taking that tone with her (for, like, the first time over), "then you shouldn't have led me on."

There it was. Finally. After so long, in that moment, Laxus actually got Mirajane to giggle. Rather loudly and for a good minute, she just laid there, laughing. He didn't turn to look at her, for fear of ruining the moment, but did smile softly to himself, staring towards the window. Even though the curtains were shut, he could see moonlight peaking through the sides.

"I fucked up, Mira," he sighed. "A while ago. Breaking up with you. And I've tried a couple of times to fix it now and you just won't let me. If you don't want me, that's fine. But I want you. I...love you, you know. And I shouldn't have ever broken up with you. I should have thought of another way. But I did, you know, give it a lot of thought. I don't think I ever told you that. But I did. I thought about it a lot. And I felt like shit."

"You ruined my morning-"

"Breakfasts, yeah, I remember. But I'm saying now it was a mistake. And-"

"Lax, if you couldn't take me working up at the guildhall all the time, there's no way that you could possibly take me being-"

"But I told you that last time we saw one another that I want to travel with you."

They could both hear it in his voice though. When he'd said that before, back in Magnolia, it had been out of desperation. After months of contemplation, he knew that solution just wasn't going to cut it and he really didn't want to do it. At all.

Mira could tell too as she only said, "You know that wouldn't work."

"Yeah." Laxus let out a slow breath. "I know."

"You love taking jobs constantly."

"I do."

"And you couldn't just sit around and watch me do something while you do nothing at all."

"I definitely couldn't."

"You'd grow bored. We'd have so much time that you'd be bored."

"Yeah."

"So..."

"Why can't we just go back before I ever brought up the stupid timing shit? Huh? And just see one another when we see one another? You're doing your own thing now, and that's fine, you like it, and I'll go back to doing my thing, which I love, and we can see one another when we get a chance. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing." Mirajane shut her eyes. "Had you not-"

"And now I'm saying let's ignore that I ever did that. And just try again. Try harder to be around one another. Because damn, Mira, it's been over a year now and I still miss you. Doesn't that mean something? If you miss me too?"

But Mirajane didn't answer. And, even though he knew she wasn't really asleep, he left it at that.

"Oh, no, gross, did you guys sleep together?"

Until Lisanna woke them up bright and early the next morning, stumbling around in the dark room, as the blinds were still drawn. Mirajane sat up a bit, but Laxus only laid there, eyes shut, praying that he too could pretend to be asleep.

"That's, like, a rule, Mira. That we can't bring guys back to the shared space."

"Laxus isn't just a guy."

"Neither is-"

"Yes. Whoever you're going to say, yes, he is."

Heh.

"So," he heard after a moment, "are we going to talk about what happened? To lead to...this?"

"Wh- Not with him right here!"

"He's sleeping."

"He's not a sleep," Mira complained. "He's faking."

"No way."

"He's even peeking his eyes open. You're not tricking anyone, Laxus."

"He's tricking me."

Groaning, Laxus rolled onto his stomach before, against the pillow, grumbling out, "Mira and I fucked because we always fuck because we're in love. That's the story. Now go away."

That got him a hit to the side by Mirajane and a lot of laughter from Lisanna before she rushed off to the bathroom, leaving them alone again.

"You're bad," Mirajane chided because, you know, that was a horrible thing to be, when you were Mirajane. "Laxus."

"You're the one that hit me," he pointed out through a yawn. "That's really bad."

"I was only bad because you were bad."

"Don't be such a follower then."

Slowly, Mirajane relaxed into the bed when she heard Lisanna turn on the shower in the bathroom. Then she softly whispered, "You think I love you, Laxus?"

"I know you do."

"That's silly."

"You took me home, Mira, before I even tried schmoozing you into it. And then you wanted me to stay the night-"

"I asked if you wanted to. I didn't-"

"You wouldn't have asked if you didn't want me to. And you haven't kicked me out yet even though I just told your sister that we love fucking each other-"

"Yeah, well, the more you say it, the closer you are to getting kicked out, so-"

"I missed you." Laxus, still on his back, tossed an arm out, which fell across Mirajane. "And everything about you."

"Not everything," she said, trying to shove his arm off. "And you know it."

"I don't know it. Might be true, but don't know it."

When he refused to lift up his arm, Mirajane eventually gave up and, very timidly moved to run her hand up and down it. Once Laxus let out a content sigh, she seemed to relax as well and even shifted so that she could kiss his bicep.

They'd figure out some way to make it work that time. Laxus just knew it.

"He, like, sleeps all day."

"Coming from you, Lisanna, I think that's saying something."

That was what Laxus awoke to sometime after noon, as well as the sound of a soft strumming as Mirajane tried out a new chord progression. She and her sister were over on the other bed, from the sound of it, while Laxus was still on his, face buried in the pillow and arms folded up above his head.

"Are you guys, like, back on or-"

"I don't know, Lisanna." Her strumming stopped, if only for the moment. "We haven't… I guess. Sort of. But…'

"You know you still like him."

"Of course I do. I've never said I haven't."

"I like having him around, anyways," Lisanna giggled. "Very much."

"You would like anyone from the guild to hang out with."

"Well...yeah. But Laxus is good."

At the moment, anyways. When he tried to break up whatever it was that she had going on with those guys, she would actually hate his guts. But Lisanna didn't know that just yet, so she couldn't be mad at the slayer.

"He's awake, you know."

"What?" Laxus heard Lisanna shift on the bed. "How can you tell? This time I'm calling your bluff, Mira. There's no way-"

"Aren't you, dragon?"

He was frozen then, hearing that monicker for the first time in a long time and only laid there for a moment before grumbling out, "Would you two can it? I'm tryin' to get some rest over here."

"You are good," Lisanna complimented her sister. "Maybe you guys are meant to be together."

Yeah. Maybe. But definitely not for that reason alone.

Lisanna didn't want to eat lunch (or an early dinner; whatever) with them when Laxus and Mirajane finally left the hotel room sometime later. She said she had plans. Which was for the best. Laxus and Mirajane more or less just wanted to spend that meal discussing where they were headed next.

For him, it was rather simple.

"Home," he told her. "In a few days. Then another job. And then I'll get you on the lacrima, figure out where you're at, and come see you. Repeat."

"Surely you wouldn't enjoy all that."

"Surely," he argued, "I would."

"And there's still, at least, a month passing between when we get together. And even then you'll be tired and I'll be busy and, Lax, what about the..."

"The what?" He glanced up from cutting into his steak. "Demon?"

She glanced around the restaurant before back at him with a slight frown. "I'm assuming that you...see people. Like I see people. And...I just want to know if we're…gonna...not see other people. Like, is this real or are we just-"

"I don't know about you," he said slowly then, still just staring at her, "but everything I know about...open relationships is that they usually don't turn out too well for one person. Usually the more emotional one. So-"

"You're afraid of me hurting you?"

"Ha ha. I'm trying to save you here, woman."

"I'm not more emotionally attached to you than you are to me." Mira gave him a look. "You stalked me here, remember?"

"Oh, bull. I was just passing through."

"Likely story."

"You're the one that had your little sister drag me into-"

"Never happened."

"Did so."

"Liar."

"Demon."

"Dragon."

Then they just stared before, finally, with a grin, he said, "I wouldn't want to think of you as sleeping with other people anyways. I don't like the idea of it now, actually."

"You're so immature," Mira said, sitting up taller. "That's what Lisanna would say. That no one owns anyone and the whole world's free and-"

"What did you do to her? Taking her out here with you?"

Mira only hummed. "Unleashed her inner self, apparently."

"Yeah, well, me and you must be...whatever the opposite of unleashed is. Inleashed?"

"I think it would just be leashed, dragon."

Nodding, he said, "Then I'm leashed. Or I want to be, anyways."

"You sure are more open, Laxus," she said simply, glancing down at her own plate, "with this than you ever were the entire time we were together."

"Well, yeah," he complained. "I had something I really liked and now I got a chance at getting it again. Why wouldn't I give it my all?"

Truth be told, it was more of a tradeoff than anything else. He was being as open as he ever would be about his feelings and hopes for her and them, while Mirajane was the most reserved she'd ever been about such a thing. It was clear that he'd hurt her, back then, and he knew it would take a while to get them back on their normal tracks, when she'd be comfortable in that he cared about her and he'd be content enough that she wasn't going to try to pull what he did on her and leave him.

"You're just coming on a bit strong, is all. If not desperate."

"I'm not hearing you hate it."

"Oh, I certainly would on someone else," she assured him before glancing up with a slight grin. "But coming from you, I dunno, it's almost...cute."

Laxus wasn't cute. And usually wouldn't enjoy being called it. But at the moment it only made him sit up straight and clear his throat.

"Yeah, well, I try."

"You do?"

"For you."

And they shared a smile then, if only for a moment, before looking off. It wasn't lost on either of them that the core reason they separated the first time was still ever present, if not more so, with her on the road as well as him then. They also both were very aware of the fact that, really, they should be taking things a lot slower than they were, maybe not even having the conversation they had so far about their relationship, as it shouldn't even be called that yet.

They should just be dating. At best. And see where things went. Because too much riding on something too early would only lead to disaster. They were both old enough to know better, after all.

And yet…

"It could be worse," Laxus told Makarov when he got back to Magnolia a few days later only for the old man to carp at him when, while telling him about his travels (Laxus came by every time he finished a job to, as much as he hated it, water those damn plants and pick up around the place, ugh), somehow he let it slip that he and Mirajane were back on. "I mean, we could have gotten drunk and then married."

Makarov, who hadn't even thought that the two of them would end up at the alter back when they were dating previously, had to set down his teacup at that, frowning over at his grandson. And, with a long sigh, he said, "Yes, it could have been much worse, I suppose."

"And if that's all you need here, Gramps," the man said as he water the last plant, there on the back patio of the man's house, "I have a demon to get on the lacrima. And a certain Salamander to bribe."

"A what now?"

But Laxus only shook his head, too fearful to speak his plan of getting (or tricking) Natsu into talking to Lisanna over a lacrima or writing her or something only to beg her to come back home, which would effectively end (he hoped) her little soiree into adult life and send her back into her dorky existence where she was mostly ignored, but certainly safe back home.

Because, you know, that was just important to him too. Not as important as being with Mirajane, but definitely up there.

Even when he found out that bribing Natsu with a fight (which worked), had the adverse effect in which Lisanna flat out told Natsu that she wasn't thinking about coming back to Fairy Tail for a few months and she'd just see him then, Laxus couldn't be too mad.

Beating the crap out of Natsu (who enjoyed every second of it, the little freak) and getting the demon back, all in one week? Losing Lisanna to the dark side (if one considered that the dark side) was sort of just a moot point.