#koko thinkin thots

[angryaromantics]

I do feel like, as the cost of living crisis skyrockets, non-partnering aros are going to get hit harder and harder. There is no framework built into the infrastructure of our society for people who don't have a dual-income household, and it does become more difficult as you age to reliably live with friends.

There is, of course, the option to live with strangers, but that has it's own varied and dangerous downfalls. Hit just as hard, or perhaps even harder, are going to be those in abusive households who's chances of being able to afford to leave grow slimmer.

Like, this stuff IS grim, so we've gotta start making good financial decisions, and supporting each other where possible.

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Steve is such a, kissing is just kissing guy. And I KNOW we see that a lot in fanfic with Steve not realizing he's bi even after making out with guys, but I would argue that he's so far into his kissing is just kissing mindset that kissing him to show him you like him would NOT work.

Eddie could kiss him full on the mouth with tongue and Steve would be like, "Thanks man, that was great." 🫡 and then slap his ass like he just scored the final touchdown of the game.

[theheartofthekoko]

It's like, so daunting to try to research skin care products when you're on a budget and don't want to waste your time and money on twelve products in which there is no evidence that they do anything at all. Me typing in "products for oily acne prone skin" and saying a little please please please please please at the universe that I get something besides uninformed ads.

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Oh, I love this. Definitely @museumgiftshoperaser, @wynnyfryd, & @strangersteddierthings! You all write very different things conceptually but get the same reaction from me when I come across one of your fics.

Actually, I'm going to keep talking. @museumgiftshoperaser , conversations about love was recommended to me on my aro sideblog after I'd expounded on my aro Steve headcanon. This touched something deeply within me. It's one of the deepest, personal connections I've ever felt when reading fanfic. Like, you just Got it So So Right there. I'm really looking forward to reading your Eddie/Nancy aro fic when I actually have the time. I've got it saved in a tab and the desire to read it is haunting me.

@wynnyfryd , the trailer park au is masterful. The way you write imagery is so visceral and real, and there's always such an emotional heart within everything you write. The scene where Eddie and Steve remodel Steve's floor in the trailer especially, all the way from Steve's revelation that it's haunted to collapsing once it's done. You've got a poetic way with words.

@strangersteddierthings , I think I've read everything you've written? But Good People is the one for me. The way you write Wayne brings him to life unlike any other. The way he carries himself, his interiority, it all just bursts from the page, bringing to life someone we know so little about. Also, every bit of dialogue you write is phenomenal. I think you'd write a GREAT script for something. Because it just glows from the page.

tag your favorite fanfic writers whose works make you think ❝ this fandom is so lucky to have them in it. my ship / my blorbo is so lucky to be written about by these talented authors who share the same hyperfixation with me ❞

[angryaromantics]

Identity treated as a monolith is something that will always irritate me. No, I don't speak for aromantics as a whole. The identity is as vast and varied as the human population as a whole. Hell, I can't even speak for the aromantic lesbians. We all have different experiences with sex, and gender, and aromanticism, and our entire fucking lives. It's just bizarre that something that was formed to bring a community together is so often used to place people into these little boxes, and then anyone who gets out of the box is chastised.

Like, sorry! It's not my life mission to contort myself into the shape you think I should be when you hear the word Aromantic. Maybe get over yourself and bask in the vastness of the human condition.

[angryaromantics]

I think what the alloro's don't get is we're not like, out to take love from them. We don't see the word love and automatically grow rabidly angry (mostly lol).

For example, I just saw a text post that was something like, "I love love and being a lover." This was fine. It didn't make me feel gross. It didn't make me feel less than. And what it really boils down to is how that love is being framed.

This post is personal. They have strong feelings about love!! Great!! The "I" takes a strong lead in the sentence. Good job, op, I support you.

What I've seen piss a lot of people off is the posts of the genre, "_____ is about love," or "love is all that matters, " or even, "love is what makes us human." These statements automatically rope EVERYONE into the sentiment.

I try to see many of them with grace. Sure, love is in the soup, whatever. I can recognize that this is just a silly sentiment about how soup makes us warm, and food can be shared at the dinner table, etc. It's a metaphor in action. It might annoy me, but there are no real repercussions of that thought process.

The ones that are trying to sell love to everyone as the most important, vital thing in the world, though? Steeped in amatanormativity. And that is just furthering the cycle of dehumanization for aro people. And they don't even realize it.

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Okay okay, poll time!

No someone else, because this is about Them. Also, please provide your reasoning in the tags/in the replies if you can!

[angryaromantics]

Not naming names but that is NOT what queerbaiting means, a queer character still matters even if they don't end up dating who you think they should, and being involved in a fandom that is currently airing fucking SUCKS.

[angryaromantics]

The gender-essentialism brainrot REALLY shows through for how aroallo people are treated, I think. Like aroallo straight men are predators because everyone knows straight men are users and pigs, am I right? And aroallo lesbians are predators because wlw are supposed to be cottagecore, uwu, romantic and cutesy, what do you MEAN you want to fuck that woman? You're no better than a man!!!

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

I feel like no one talks enough about how it wasn't really his induction into the upside-down crew that incited Steve's character growth. Yeah, that's what got him his new friends, and maybe it expedited the whole thing.

But he did something shitty (fight with Jonathan & the spray painting incident), and THAT'S what started his growth. That's what made him ditch Tommy and Carol and go apologize to the guy he thought his girlfriend had been cheating with. No monsters or alternate worlds. Just your average small-town shenanigans.

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

My dog!!! Her name is Salem, and she's turning a year old this month.

silly people in my phone can you comment or add something that makes you happy please?? anything at all as long as it brings you joy. your fic, your cat, your specific knowledge about something obscure, etc 💕

[angryaromantics]

@mossy-aro made an excellent post, that can be found HERE, on the subversive nature of aromantic positivity, and how negativity can damage the community and “we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction.” 

I wholeheartedly agree, but I wanted to talk about ‘negative’ feelings a bit more. The type of negativity Mossy was largely discussing seemed to be the ones that stemmed from self-hatred. “I hate being aro.” “This is so hard, I wish I was normal,” etc., etc. This negativity, no matter what personal place it comes from, can and does damage the aromantic community. 

Negativity spreads, we’ve seen it in online spaces before, and we’re seeing it now. Being aromantic can be hard, so it’s frankly easy and understandable, that the bombardment of negativity would harm individual aromantic people and the community as a whole. Being an online community, we’re pretty insular, which can make the negativity feel particularly inescapable. 

I would argue, however, that the negative feelings themselves aren’t an issue that needs to be corrected. There’s a reason you feel that way, and it’s likely rooted in some real-life issues either on a personal level or on a societal way. It’s not your fault, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. 

The  issue arises when you share those feelings without examining the root cause of the feeling. You hate being aro. Okay, but why? Is it a sense of isolation from your peers? Is it the cost of living for a single person in your area? What is it about being aro that you find difficult enough that you hate it?

A post that reads “I hate being aro” is always going to have a negative impact, whereas a post like, “I find being an aromantic person isolating,” opens up the start of a conversation. You’ve made progress, but even going from Point A to Point B, I think Point C would be an even more useful place to be. 

You find being an aromantic person isolating, but why? What specific thing do you find isolating? Is it the lack of real-life connections you have with aromantic people? With Point C, the conversation becomes the start of an interrogation with an intra-community issue. 

We have now gone from “I hate being aro,” to, “I find the lack of aromantic community outside of online spaces isolating.” Besides the harm reduction that interrogating these negative thoughts clearly performs, the biggest difference between Point A and Point C is that Point C is actionable. You can take real, actionable steps in forming in-person communities, both on a personal level, and as a community. 

“I hate being aro,” gives you no actionable steps, even in the figurative sense. It only serves to spread your negative feelings. Negative feelings, sadness, fear, rage, all have their place both internally and within your community. But, you need to think critically about what you’re putting into the community, and interrogate where that feeling is coming from in the first place. 

All aromantic feelings have the potential to be fulfilling on a personal level and even, as Mossy said, be harnessed “as a form of protest and political power.” We can use these negative feelings to improve ourselves, and our communities. They can be just as fruitful building blocks as aromantic joy.

You’ve just got to interrogate your own feelings or you risk doing detrimental harm to the aro community, and none of us want that. This is where we live. 

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Maybe I'm just too aro for this, but no, you can't actually tell someone's in love by their facial expression. And yeah, I know this is about fictional characters, but it does make me wonder about some of you guys' interpersonal lives.

Do you guys not look at your friends with love?? Are you not happy to see them?? What's happening here

[angryaromantics]

"They're not romantic, or platonic, but a secret third thing," SHOULD mean that they're trying to figure out what it is, or those lines are blurred for them personally, but all it ever really means is that OP thinks those two are too devoted to be considered platonic. You would NEVER do that with the homies, am I right guys?? Haha friends don't look at friends like that!

[theheartofthekoko]

You're driving down the interstate, and you start to think that's all there is: cars. Boxes on wheels that are supposed to have people in them, but everyone's going the speed of light! Reds blurring past the sound barrier until you pull out, white-knuckling the steering wheel on the off ramp of exit 18.

It's always exit 18, but it's worse now. All the boxes and wheels are slow. You can see the people caged inside. You can see the headlights in their eyes. You can see the concrete building boxes blur past.

People never leave the boxes. You haven't seem a real person, not behind windowpane and bars in 3 years.

It's just boxes and boxes, and you've been white-knuckling the steering wheel like the best of them, but the oncoming headlights are starting to look like your Mom calling you home.

You're driving down the interstate.

That's all there ever is.

What is the conspiracy theory?

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

I see "Bobin" used a lot as a nickname for Robin, and hey, I dig it. I've used it myself! But, you've gotta let the truth into your heart. If Robin is Bobin, then Steve isn't Steeb, or Stefan, or Stevie, or any of the other cutsie nicknames you can come up with.

He's fucking Heve.