#kravitz taako adventurezone if you will

[ninjasmudge]

kravitz adventurezone ❤

[jocasta-nightstrider]

I might color this when I'm back home next month but I was having a lot of feelings about closeness and being queer and all that and of course I'm gonna project that on the Nightstriders lol

[noodyl-blasstal]

Piano Man

Big thanks to @ceilingfan5 who sang "pretty lizard" to the tune of "pretty woman" this morning, it got stuck in my head, morphed into "pretty wizard" and now we're here. Enjoy below or on Ao3.

-

Kravitz is tired. Kravitz is tireder than tired. Not in body, his hands would keep skimming the keys forever and always if he doesn’t occasionally put them away, and he can’t ever resist singing along to something whether he knows the words or not. No, what Kravitz is tired of is fancy people parties and all the fancy people nonsense that comes along with it.

The pay is good enough, that’s how he knows he won’t walk out, no matter how bad it gets - someone has to keep his apartment paid for - but these parties are always full of the most obnoxious people. His mouth is dry and his back is sore and Lydia, sorry, Ms Adventurezone, because ‘we don’t use first names, darling, it’s uncouth’ has been promising him a break for the last 23 minutes, but every time he winds down she suddenly appears to ask him for just one more song. It looks like she’s on her way to derail his break for the seventh time when someone, a glorious, perfect, wonderful man in a huge elaborate hat steps into her path, blocking her from Kravitz’s view which definitely means she also can’t see him!

Kravitz mentally beams gratitude at his saviour and respectfully doesn’t notice exactly how fantastic the guy’s arse looks in those silky trousers as he finishes up the song. The man is probably just intervening by accident, Kravitz needs to reign in his impulse to romanticise. There’s no deeper plot to rescue him from Lydia’s clutches, but he definitely needs to take advantage and escape while he still can - in fact, it looks like Edward, sorry, Mr Adventurezone, is headed his way. Kravitz will commando roll under this piano to escape if it comes to it. It doesn’t. He cuts the song a few bars early, pretends not to see Edward (ha, take that!) and beelines for the bar.

“Hey Krav, you sound great!” Ren waves in greeting.

“Thanks.” He croaks slightly.

“Say no more.” She laughs as she hands over a glass of water. “I’ll be back with your tea in a tick. Have this in the meantime.” She nudges a plate his way too.

Kravitz smiles his thanks and is already shoving the lemon-y mousse topped biscuit into his mouth. He needs to start eating before he comes to these things. They always say they’ll feed him and it’s rare they bother. Praise the lady for Ren, her fancy cocktail bar for hire tends to mean they coincide at a lot of these events. They very quickly worked out that they had allies in each other and used it to their advantage whenever possible.

“Anyone sat here, handsome?” Asks a voice over his shoulder.

Kravitz prepares to turn away whichever entitled prick is trying to ruin his break, but clamps his mouth shut when he realises it’s his saviour.

“No, no one is, that’s good, that’s fine, it’s free.” Kravitz intends to pat the seat invitingly, panics, withdraws his hand, and ends up caressing it instead. Perfect. An incredibly normal gesture. Maybe the guy will just turn and leave, spare Kravitz from any other awful attempts to flirt.

The man sits down instead.

“Thank you.” Kravitz says, realising slightly too late that the guy probably doesn’t have any idea what he’s thanking him for.

“No problem, I figured you were due a break. I used to work these things before, well, you know.” He waves a hand as if whatever incomprehensible thing he’s alluding to is obvious. “She hates that she has to invite me instead of hiring me. The handle’s Taako, by the way, what’s yours?” He crosses one knee over the other and his trouser leg parts to show a length of dark skin. Kravitz wants desperately to find out exactly how high the split in the thigh goes.

“Kravitz.” Says Kravitz. Focusing on doing anything that isn’t staring intently at Taako’s thigh. Not that Taako seemed to mind, he definitely grinned when he noticed Kravitz go slack jawed. But still, he could have misinterpreted, easier to stick to small talk. “What did you use to do at these things?”

“Steal, mostly, you know, light pick pocketing here, grand theft auto there… the usual stuff.”

Kravitz’s eyes widen. Fuck. He couldn’t tell Sloane about this one, she was already keeping the list of ‘reasons Kravitz isn’t allowed to pick his own men’ and ‘being immediately attracted to possibly a mob boss’ was likely to make it into the top 3.

“I’m joking, Krav.” Taako takes a sip of his drink, swallows slowly, eyeing Kravitz as he does.

Kravitz’s stomach clenches, he likes this, he likes this a lot. Taako’s welcome to observe him as much as he wants, preferably when he’s wearing less.

“Of course. Yes. You got me!” Kravitz manages a short laugh, it’s breathier than he intended it to be.

“Good to see you, Taako!” Ren greets Taako, plonks a cup down in front of Kravitz, winks, and leaves to attend to the disorderly queue because none of these people knew how to wait their turn.

“Do you like these things?” He asks Taako, then sips gently at the tea. It’s sweet, honeyed and fiery with ginger. Ren’s good to him.

“Nope.” Taako says passionately, looks like he means it. “They’re boring as all hell, my guy. No one is any fun.”

“You seem fun, the hat’s definitely fun.” Kravitz points at the spangled monstrosity atop Taako’s head.

“I’m a wizard and a genius, obviously I’m a delight. I meant the rest of them.”

“No one else is worth it?”

“You think Lydia’s fun?”

“I thought she might be if she respects you.”

Taako snorts. “I’ll let you know if that ever happens, but I wouldn’t hold out hope… fuck, speak of the devil.”

Kravitz turns to see Lydia stomping over. By the time he turns back, Taako’s gone.

“Kravitz! There you are.” The vulgarity of first names didn’t extend to talking to ‘the help’ clearly. “You need to be very careful about overdoing your breaks, you were supposed to take 15 at 9 and it’s already half past. You wouldn’t want me to review you badly would you?” She smiles her awful poisonous smile and eyes him with undisguised glee.

Thankfully he knows this dance. There’s no point in arguing. He’s only had 5 minutes and the reason he didn’t go at 9 was because of her, but she’ll just use any rebellion against him. He just nods demurely, finishes his tea in a long gulp, and says. “Of course.”

She looks disappointed about the lack of fight in him, which is exactly what he was hoping for. He leaves without another word.

–

The first few times he thinks he might have imagined it, but Taako is definitely gravitating closer to the piano. Kravitz didn’t notice him at all before, but he’s danced by, walked past, or stopped to look on appreciatively. Kravitz smiles every time he catches his eye and Taako’s even winked back at him a few times, but he needs to do something to show he can be the fun person Taako’s nights are lacking.

Lydia doesn’t seem to notice the Thong Song instrumental he works into the rotation, Taako spits champagne through his nose and claps so hard Kravitz can hear it over the general smattering of applause when he finishes a piece. It emboldens him enough to try something, he just needs to wait for the perfect moment.

Taako finally does a walk by, flicking his gaze to Kravitz as he finishes a song and transitions into Roy Orbison.

“Pretty wizard, walkin’ right past me”

Taako pauses.

“Pretty wizard, the kind I liked to meet Pretty wizard, I don't believe you You're not the truth No one could look as good as you Mercy!”

Taako turns, wide eyed. Points to himself, innocently.

“Pretty wizard, won't you pardon me? Pretty wizard, I couldn't help but see Pretty wizard, that you look lovely as can be Are you lonely just like me? Rwar-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r”

Kravitz gives it beans with the roar, if there’s a bit, he will commit to it. Taako laughs delightedly, it’s worth it.

“Pretty wizard, stop a while Pretty wizard, talk a while Pretty wizard, give your smile to me..eeeeee Pretty wizard, hey hey hey Pretty wizard, saw you look my way Pretty wizard, say you'll stay with me 'Cause I need you, I'll treat you right Will you maybe, dance with me tonight?”

Kravitz wiggles his eyebrows alluringly. Taako laughs, not unkindly, eyes soft, the corners crinkled with mirth. Lydia’s aggressively trying to catch Kravitz’s eye but he resolutely refuses to look away from Taako.

“Pretty wizard, can we go for coffee? Pretty wizard, just you and me? Pretty wizard, I’ll even spring for the whipped cre-eeeaaam”

Taako’s laughing so hard that he’s dabbing his eyes with a handkerchief, trying desperately not to smudge his eye make up.

“Okay I see you’re dairy free, okay I guess I’ll get the coconut cream, but wait I could get you some lactaaaaaaaaaid A scone, or two, or three? I can do that for you, you’ll see! If you’ll just go out with me, Oh, oh, pretty wizard”

Kravitz plunks out the last notes and laughs at Taako lounging dramatically on the front of the piano.

“Here’s Taako’s number, handsome, cha’boy can do dairy and he’s absolutely going to need those three scones tomorrow.”

“Kravitz!” Lydia yells.

He starts playing a jazzy version of Ace of Spades.

“Kravitz! I know you can hear me. We didn’t discuss any deviations from the playlist or the lyrics.” Kravitz nods as if he’s listening to everything she’s saying, and not staring at Taako.

“If you like to eat scones, I tell you I’m your man. Plain, fruit, cherry, they’re not all the same to me. The pleasure is to spread, jam, butter, or cream instead, If a scone is what you need, the only place you should be’s, Paloma’s Bakes, (Paloma’s Bakes)”

[cataztrophi]

POV: you're Edward Felicity Adventurezone and you've just interrupted the hottest couple on your wedding cruise (rude)

This piece is based on a scene from @ceilingfan5's incredible fic "Revenge Plus One"! If you haven't read it yet do yourself a favor and check it out! It's clear they put so much work and so much love into it!

[Image ID: a digital drawing of Taako and Kravitz from The Adventure Zone standing on the deck of a cruise ship on a sunny day. Taako has brown skin and freckles and blond hair in a braid. He is wearing a lime green short-sleeved button down with lemon slices on it over a bright yellow and pink crop top. He is also wearing light purple cutoff shorts. He is looking directly at the viewer with a slightly smug smile, and he has his arms on Kravitz's shoulders. Kravitz is a Black man with long, dark brown dreadlocks in a half bun, with his back pressed against the wall of the deck. He is wearing a black t-shirt and dark gray jeans, with an earring in the shape of a scythe in one ear. He is staring at Taako and blushing slightly, appearing a little dazed. He has one hand on Taako's hip.]

[daftpunkselectroma]

25 and 7

answered 7!!

25. favorite lgbt canon fictional couple?

HMMMM really good question… i’m going 2 be honest with you i ❤️ taako and kravitz adventurezone so much they mean everything to me. also cecil and carlos wtnv 💕💞💞💞💞💞💕💞💞💗💗

[mothdeusa]

so... taz imbalance? :smirk:

[sarcasticvoodoochild]

i am iconic, talented, known for wearing a cool hat, and in a relationship with death. am i taako yknow from tv or philza minecraft

[lupsbro]

it’s TTT* yall

(*Taakitz Tender Time)

[raineydaywrites]

I like saying Taako Adventurezone and Lup Adventurezone because it’s funnier to me than Taako Tacco could ever be and also because I can say Lucretia Adventurezone and Davenport Adventurezone and Kravitz Adventurezone.

They’re all a family!!! When they get settled in Faerun post Story and Song, Magnus, Barry and Merle change their names to Magnus Burnsides Adventurezone, Barry Bluejeans Adventurezone and Merle Hitower Hichurch Adventurezone!!! When Angus is officially adopted by whoever does it, he becomes Angus McDonald Adventurezone!!

[inedoodle]

Taako and Kravitz pick each other’s outfits for a day - or “just a quick sketch” that I ended up finishing at 4am. Oh well. They’re worth it. Description under the cut!

If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a Ko-fi!

[Description: Two colored digital drawings of Taako and Kravitz from The Adventure Zone. Taako is an elven man with blue-ish skin and wavy blonde hair. Kravitz is a human man with dark skin and dreadlocks that are tied up in a ponytail. Top picture: Kravitz is facing the viewer and wearing a crop top, black pants and several bracelets and necklaces. He’s smiling with one eyebrow raised. Taako has is facing Kravitz, his back turned to the viewer, and is wearing a purple-themed outfit including a skirt, a tank top, a scarf and his hat, as well as bracelets. He’s holding out another necklace, getting ready to put it around Kravitz’ neck. Dialogue reads as follows: Kravitz: Another?! Taako: Fashion rule #1: there can never be enough jewelry. K: Alright, alright. What’s with the crop top though? T: Listen, babe. You can’t have Taako date the hottest man in the WHOLE PLANAR SYSTEM and expect him not to show off even a little bit. Bottom picture: Taako is facing the viewer this time, and is wearing a red three piece suit with a yet-to-be-adjusted collar and bowtie. He has a sassy grin as he looks at Kravitz. Kravitz has his back to the viewer and is adjusting Taako’s bowtie. He is wearing a grey suit. Dialogue reads as follows: Taako: You do realize that you’re jeopardizing years of a carefully cultivated reputation, right? Kraavitz: Stop complaining for a second. You look amazing in this. T: I always look amazing. Where’s the drama in a three-piece suit? Where’s the panache? K: You are the drama. Now shut up or I’m having you wear Oxford shoes. T: *GASP* You wouldn’t dare! End description]

[laszlosharmonica]

Nobody:

Me: Taako and Kravitz have two cats named Cilantro and Cerberus, who they love very much.

[dietcrystalbebsi]

THE GRIM REAPER KRAVITZ

Taako approaches him really quick and as Kravitz sees Taako about to kiss him, he puts his hands up over his mouth, and he’s blowing and he’s like, “Hold on I— I wanna— I wanna warm up my face. I don’t want it to be cold and weird.”

And then he starts kissing Taako. And it’s so nice.

inspired by (x)

[jocasta-nightstrider]

Thinking about how Kravitz ended up liking the Jocasta persona,,,,

And how easy it would be for him to Stop Liking It As Much. (Kravitz is fine) (just a bit annoyed) (he still very much loves his husband even if he does shoot him with a crossbow on accident sometimes)

[lichlover]

tess adventurezone do u have any thoughts on the "kravitz is keats aka edward and lydia's dead baby brother" theory. do u think taako ever makes the connection between them? does kravitz??? it's been so long and his death might have been so traumatic. do u think he'd even recognize them in ghost jail

Once, Kravitz asks the Raven Queen why he doesn’t remember.

Sifting through his own memories is like fumbling bare-handed through a mountain of glass, catching his own reflection in shards that cast disparate images back at him before they draw blood, and slip through his fingers. He remembers her, and her cloak in a warm, massive shroud around him, and her voice feathering in a dissonant cry through the astral plane. The first thing he feels is safe.

But further back, and his mind grows raw and ragged. A haze laps in molasses-thick tongues to overcome him, and then another memory breaks the surface—a familiar one, congealing in black sludge and vibrant, hungry threads of color twining around his ankles, his wrists, his throat—

So Kravitz asks. The Raven Queen’s feathers cockle and shimmer with a sickly olive sheen, and something close to recognition sparks like flint in his soul.

THIS IS NOT MY ANSWER TO GIVE, she says.

“My Queen,” says Kravitz, “it does seem like it’s my place to ask.”

The Raven Queen hums, low and deep, and he feels it between his ribs. YOU ARE THE PROJECTION OF A SOUL THAT LIVED.

“I... figured as much, yes.”

MEMORY IS THE LIVING’S LAST DEFENSE AGAINST OBLIVION. THE ASTRAL PLANE DOES NOT TAKE KINDLY TO RECOLLECTION.

“I know.”

He shifts his weight in her shadow, and she cocks her head, oddly delicate in shafts of saturated gray. THIS MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU.

“It does, my Queen.”

WHY? The Raven Queen’s mantle lifts and flutters. ARE YOU NOT CONTENT WITH THIS EXISTENCE? DO YOU WANT FOR MORE?

“N-No, I...” He lifts his hands, as if mortal mannerisms would do anything to placate a goddess, but she does settle as she watches him with a distinct air of concern. “It doesn’t make sense, to want to know? But I do, and I know I won’t be satisfied until I do. I’m content, I am. It just feels like... unfinished business. Does that make sense?”

WHAT IF IT HURTS YOU?

"Remembering?”

REALIZING. The Raven Queen tucks her cloak close to her, and he remembers his soul in those folds, flickering and fighting to maintain its form. THE LIVING WERE... THEY WERE NOT KIND.

Kravitz’s fingers close around a shard of glass, and he feels the blood drip and crystallize in the pit of his stomach, fear as frigid as his skin on the other side of the rift. “I have to know,” is all he says, even as his voice loses a note of steadiness. “Or I’ll just... spend the rest of eternity wondering.”

When the Raven Queen looks back at him, he feels his soul cord anchored, flooded with warmth and all the light she can summon in a lightless plane. YOU HAVE MY BLESSING. BUT PROMISE ME YOU WILL BE CAREFUL.

“I promise.”

YOU WILL FIND WHAT YOU SEEK IN THE ETERNAL STOCKADE, she says. THE ALTAR. AND PLEASE, MY KRAVITZ, BE WISE.

-

Kravitz numbed to the cries of the damned early on, but he can remember a time when he hadn’t; when waves of pain and rage buffeted him like high tide and threatened to drown him in the currents. Now, he moves through the Eternal Stockade as one of its shadows. The Altar doesn’t strike him as familiar, but as an aspect of the Raven Queen, direction is an instinct nestled in his gut, every turn through the twisting corridors as obvious as if he’d walked it a hundred times before. He feels her anchor tossing and turning, restless with anticipation and worry, and tries to meet her with an aura of calm. But his own anxiety gathers so thick at the back of his head that he might as well be trying to cut through fog.

He finds it, a solitary alcove stationed away from the holding cells, and rocks back and forth on his heels before he steps through. The chamber is, true to its name, a cavernous hollow in the Stockade’s obsidian walls, and a crude stone altar rising from a set of equally crude stone stairs. Shackled to the altar he sees them: two fractured, writhing souls, simultaneously withered and neon-bright, struggling to reform and promptly shredding into pieces. A futile, Sisyphean fight. Kravitz steps forward in morbid fascination.

When the souls catch sight of him, he knows, because they erupt in a thousand psychedelic colors that just as suddenly scatter to shreds. Something in the room must impose silence, because it couldn’t be clearer to Kravitz that they’ve started to scream.

“Who are you?” he says.

They reform and break and reach for him, and shriek like their essences are being pulled apart by a thread. Kravitz takes a long, shuddering breath and takes another step forward, and just as quickly recoils, because his head fills with their voices and an afterlife’s worth of agony.

Forgive us! Release us! Forgive us! Release us!

Kravitz stumbles back—collapses—

—staggers to his feet with twin vises cutting to bruise into his wrists, and a voice hovering in his ear, thick with enchantment, promising everything will be alright and it’ll all be over soon, folding his will like paper in its grip. He feels his body seize; feels his cries shrivel in his throat. He feels ragged stone drag and catch at his skin as they press him down.

In the end, he sobs silently, tears rolling across his temple and dotting the altar. He hears someone chanting. He hears someone else screaming.

He feels—

—the pleasant twinge of a rich meal, swinging his feet under the table as his heart skips and stutters, his family and the people in the olive-green cloaks, and one of them reaches for him, and says—

—“Later,” she promises, and he watches as she hunches again over the dusty old tome, swiping at the dark circles beneath her eyes like it will clear them, muttering in shards of a language that reminds him of monsters—

—out of the stories they would tell when the hunger hollowed out his stomach, and he could think of nothing else but a world where it didn’t ache to walk, to stand, to breathe—

—and Kravitz tastes copper as he sucks in a breath, air lifting and filling lungs he no longer has a use for, and Lydia and Edward shriek Forgive us! Release us! Forgive us! Release us!

He shudders and shakes his head, but reality clings to him with bloodied hooks. So Kravitz gets to his feet and runs.

[terezis]

kravitz adventurezone is... Tim Burton’s Corpse Groom

the corpse groom

WITH A TWIST

lup taaco and barry bluejeans are engaged to be wed. it’s an arranged marriage: lup’s family needs barry’s money, and barry’s family wants lup’s social cache; she’s a minor noble who would have considerable political power if she were just a bit richer.

even luckier; they are very much in love! so it’s a marriage of convenience, sure, but since the bride and groom genuinely care about each other, this seems like the ideal arrangement for everyone, right?

wrong!!! 

problem number one: lup and barry both think their feelings are unrequited. 

there they are, holding hands at their own wedding rehearsal, staring longingly into their partner’s eyes… pining. yearning! and yet… both of them believe that this is just a marriage of obligation for the other. they are blinded by love.

worried that he’s trapping lup in a marriage she doesn’t want, barry flubs his vows during the rehearsal dinner and later flees to the forest to practice on his own. he places lup’s wedding ring on a nearby tree branch, but… surprise! problem two: the tree branch is actually the finger of a dead man, and from an unmarked grave rises kravitz, a corpse in a tattered but surprisingly tasteful three-piece suit. he declares them husbands and whisks barry off to the land of the dead.

now, make no mistake: for a dead guy, kravitz is a catch. he is seriously very hot. no, really, this dude is just like, absurdly handsome. plus he is very funny in a dry, sarcastic sort of way, and also weirdly very skilled at the piano???

“i guess you have had eternity to learn,” barry says. “you know, uh, being dead and all.”

“i was always this good, actually,” kravitz says.

“were you always this humble, too???” barry asks.

they end up playing together, and afterwards kravitz explains that he was murdered many years ago on the night of his elopement. he’d hoped that by marrying barry, he could finally move on; but clearly he’s still stuck in limbo, so… no dice.

barry confesses that he’s engaged to someone else. kravitz takes this in stride. he feels a little bad, actually; he was kept from his lover, once upon a time. he’d hate to keep barry from his.

kravitz helps barry back to the land of the living. barry reunites with lup and promptly tells her how he really feels. lup is… well, she’s happy, of course, and she’s so relieved to see him - they had no idea if where he’d run off to, or if he was alright - but in the time he’s been gone, lup’s family has decided to marry her off to wealthy newcomer greg grimaldis instead. 

oh no!!!

just when all hope seems lost… enter taako, stage left, carrying lup’s wedding gown. it’s time for her to get dressed; the wedding is tonight. (all hope still seems lost.)

“oh, hey, barold’s back,” taako says. “good to see you, glad you’re not dead. who’s your friend?”

(taako is a little weirded out by the whole “ghost of marriages past” thing, but honestly? it’s not a deal breaker. who cares if his new beau is a little cold ‘n clammy? what’s a little rigor mortis between friends??? taako wonders what this says about him. is he a necrophiliac? is this is kink??? he cannot believe he is going to have a sexual experience with a ghoul.

“you don’t have to,” lup would say, if she were a little less preoccupied with her imminent nuptials.

“no, i’m gonna,” taako would respond.

kravitz, for his part, is also very charmed by barry’s would-be brother in-law. in all the chaos of trying to stop lup’s wedding, he doesn’t even notice that his heart has stuttered to life.)

anyways something something the twins’ family interrupts all these tender reunions and meet cutes before anyone can come up with a feasible plan. all hope seems lost, again. the wedding commences, and everyone shuffles in to watch as lup walks down the aisle; from the altar, greg grimaldis’ smile is slick as an oil spill.

something something kravitz recognizes greg as his former fiance who murdered him for his dowry, something something it is revealed that greg is only interested in this marriage for lup’s title; he was planning on poisoning her during the reception so he could rule unimpeded.

something something greg, in an effort to get the situation back under control, proposes a toast to kravitz’s life - but in the chaos he grabs the wrong cup, drinks the poison meant for lup, and dies. he is promptly dragged to the underworld by the restless dead. lup is free to marry her boy. hurrah!

by this point, kravitz fully expects to explode into several hundred butterflies ravens and fly off into the night; after all, he’s finished his business on this earth, hasn’t he?

he does not, and he hasn’t. it’s very confusing for him. it’s been a very long night. 

taako sees the lost look on kravitz’s face and takes his hand. it’s warm.

maybe he has unfinished business with the living after all :o)

[blessyouhawkeye]

taako, down on one knee: will you make me the happiest man alive and do me the honour of becoming kravitz adventurezone?