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love-fireflysong · 3 years

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yIt's done. It took me waaaay to long to write this piece out but between June and my computer apparently deciding to kick me in the teeth this month, the fact I made it to 5 full squares completed anyways I will gladly take as a victory! And, just fyi, this WILL be the last piece for this month. I know that there is still another four days left of June, but I am sick and tired of dealing with my keyboard so this is the last fic you're gonna see from me until I get a new laptop hopefully fairly soon. (Unless I decide that I'm desperate enough to try and write things out on my tablet of course...)

Anyways, the First Date trope was specifically requested by @jesus-hotsauce-christmas-cake when I let her know that the one she did guess (road trip) was going to be a second chapter of a twoshot. Which you still might get because I'm very likely going to be sharing the short little summary blurbs I had written down for each trope so people can very easily bully me into writing them anyways if people still wanted to read them. And even though it would be like months and months late, still post them under this bingo board because I can and I had a cool idea for what I was doing with the colours and layout before life decided to say 'NO!' in a very firm voice. (Unless of course the three lovely ladies that came up with this idea in the first place say no obviously)

Rambling over though now I promise. Chocolate Covered Confessions can be read over and AO3 of course, with the full fic also under the readmore as well.

Chocolate Covered Confessions

Trope: First Date Fandom: Until Dawn Characters: Ashley Brown, Chris Hartley Words: 8214 Rating: General (though reader beware there is some almost scandalous hand holding and a couple of scandalously public kisses. You have been warned...) Authors Notes: Oh look, more chrashley fluff. Who da thunk it? Pride month? What pride month? This is just me apparently figuring out how many different ways I can get Chris and Ash to confess their feelings. Because you only read like three of them, I still have another two waiting in the wings. Plus at least three others if you count climbing chrash lol.

Something was...weird. It wasn't something that Ashley could put her finger on just yet, but something was definitely off that was for sure. The problem of course was that she didn't even know where to start looking in the first place, because for the most part her day had been extraordinarily ordinary.

She, Chris, and Josh had planned to go and see a movie Saturday morning a few days back and then hang out the rest of the day. But seeing as they were, you know, best friends that certainly wasn't the issue. Not even close. They always made plans to do stuff like that together. And yeah, okay, so maybe Josh had 'coincidentally' texted them just before the movie started to let them know that something unavoidable had come up and he wasn't going to be able to meet up with them. And when her and Chris had brought up just waiting until a later showing when he was free, he had immediately been quick to affirm that nope, he was going to be busy the whole rest of the day actually. So the two of them could continue with their original plans and they could make it up to him another time.

While certainly suspicious, that wasn't what was wrong though. Josh had been flaking out on their plans more and more, especially when it was plans that took up an entire day. Ashley Brown wasn't stupid. No siree Bob she was not! She knew exactly what Josh was trying to do by leaving her to spend the day with Chris. Alone . And she appreciated it (she really did!), but if Chris was going to make a move then he would have done it ages and ages ago, because she sure as hell wasn't going to do it! Ashley Brown wasn't stupid, but she also wasn't exactly what you would call brave either.

Not that Chris had seemed to notice what Josh was pulling though, he had just sighed and rolled his eyes with a grumbled "fucking typical", and then the two of them had entered the theater to watch the movie. And as per their usual shtick when Josh wasn't there with them, Chris paid for the tickets while she paid for the food and drinks. Or, at least, that was how it normally went. Instead, when she had decided to take a run to the bathroom while he held their spot in the long concession line, she had come back to Chris waiting for her with the pop and popcorn already in hand. After brushing off her flustered apologies, he had explained that shortly after she had left, another cashier had popped on till so the line had gone down in half the time either had expected. And it seemed like a dick move to just wait there until she came back so he had just decided to get the food instead.

She still felt a little guilty about it honestly, even after swearing that she would get both the tickets and food next time.

And, to be completely fair to Josh, he hadn't exactly been missing out on a lot by skipping out on the movie. It wasn't a horror flick (he would never even think of skipping out on that after all) so it wasn't one that he would feel the need to make the two of them watch again with him. Which was more than fine honestly, because if she was to describe the movie in a single word, well, that word would definitely have been 'dreadful'. If she was given a few more words, then she would have easily elaborated and stated that it was 'a boring, plot-hole driven mess, with only extremely over-the-top action scenes and explosions every five minutes to carry any semblance of the extremely loosely written plot'. In other words, she had lost interest in the movie barely half an hour in, and considering that Chris had started scrolling through his phone bored, she wasn't alone in this boat either.

Still, Ashley had resolved herself to sit through this over-budgeted explosion fest if only because movie tickets were horribly expensive. Not to mention the fact that Chris had shelled out money for both the movie and the food. But then he had turned to her, asked if she was as bored to tears as he was, and once he got that confirmation, asked if she wanted to just ditch the movie entirely. And she did—she really, really did—but didn't want Chris to waste the money he had spent more. And then yet another explosion...exploded on screen, and she realized that she was wasting precious hours of her life that could be used to do something more fun and less mind-numbingly boring.

Like watching paint dry. That at least had a semi-cohesive plot.

And so the two of them had walked out, continuing to share the extra buttered popcorn between them (the movie may have been awful, but the popcorn certainly wasn't) as they left the movie theater behind and wandered into the nearby mall. That wasn't the strange thing either. The mall and subsequent window shopping had absolutely been part of their day plans after, even if those had been unexpectedly pushed forward a couple of hours.

Admittedly the art show that the mall was running in one of the empty storefronts was unexpected, but it had been simply a nice surprise and a great way to kill time. So after paying the $2 entrance fee, the two of them had continued to share the popcorn as they looked at some of the paintings and sculptures that had been on display, giggling childishly at most of them. And okay, so one of the curators had been glaring at them( or rather, at their greasy, butter-covered fingers) the whole time, but that had just been a little rude and insulting. Not strange. And that had stopped almost the moment they had run out of popcorn, Ashley nudging him in the stomach with her elbow as she licked her fingers clean, and the two of them laughing under their breaths at the curator who had looked exceptionally much more at ease once Chris had crumpled the empty bag into a ball.

The rest of their day in the mall had just been spent following the rest of their day's plan, wandering from shop to shop and browsing at all the things that caught their eyes, and then taking a break after a few hours to have a late lunch in the food court. The two of them checked out another couple of stores, these ones to try and get some ideas for Josh's birthday in another month, before moving onto the small arcade on the top floor. As part of their deal and agreement since it had just been Josh and Chris (Ashey not joining the duo until five years later), Chris bought the tokens needed while she scouted out the various games for an empty console and claimed it until he could join her in another couple of minutes.

They spent the next hour in there, trying to beat each other or work together depending on the game in question. They almost never played a game twice before moving onto the next one, in hopes to both try as many games as possible before their self imposed hour ended and to see if they could beat their previous high scores or make it onto the leaderboard in only a single try. But as the hour came to a close, they both made their way over to their final game: one of the racing simulators scattered around the arcade. And as had been done for ten years now, played to determine which of them would be paying for the tokens next time they came.

And once the race ended, with Ashley winning by photo finish for the third time in a row (and celebrating her winning streak by maturely sticking out her tongue and doing an awkward little shimmy dance in the seat while Chris jokingly sulked and pouted), they had finally left the mall altogether and got into Chris's truck. There, he had surprised Ashley with the novel she had been eyeing in the bookstore (or at least, eyeing closer than all the rest she had picked up) and that he had somehow been able to buy without her noticing. And that certainly hadn't been weird, because it had been so exceptionally sweet of him, sweet enough that Ashley had so badly wished that she could thank him properly. But as mentioned before, Ashley Brown was a coward pure and simple, so she had just clutched the book to her chest and beamed at Chris in heartfelt thanks instead.

He may have said something in reply, but Ashley had already settled into the passenger seat and opened to the first page of the book, so she was already long gone. A fact that Chris had anticipated, if the light chuckle he had let out before starting the truck meant anything. And no, Ashley reading a book while Chris drove them to their usual game store across town was not the strange thing either. If Chris hadn't wanted her to read on the drive over and talk to him, then he never would have given her the book now of all times. He would have waited until he had dropped her off home, or not even bought the book in the first place. After over a half a decade of friendship, if anyone knew what would happen after giving Ashley Brown a new book, it was Chris Hartley.

The drive over is done quicker then she had expected, and even then Chris still hadn't let her know that they had arrived until she had finished her chapter. Yes he had certainly teased her about it the entire time, joking about how she would never find someone as understanding of her reading habits then him (he didn't know how right he was, that she didn't want to find anyone else), but the fact that he had just continued to let the music play in the truck and distracted himself on his phone was so unbearably sweet that she decided to let it lie.

The fact that Ashley and Chris hung around in the game shop comparing dice and looking at new books while wincing over the prices for nearly two hours wasn't what was off either. Hell, if anything the fact that they only spent a couple of hours there before leaving was weird! Her, Chris, and Josh could easily spend almost half a day in there flipping through comics and rolling dice to test them out, only leaving because a tired employee was forced to ask them to leave for making too much noise and taking up a table when they weren't playing anything, especially when there was a group that had been waiting for a table for close to an hour now.

Which brought Ashley to where she was right now, sitting at a sticky plastic table under the shade of a cheap umbrella while Chris had run off to get them some ice cream before dropping her off at home. Her new book was open in front of her, the pages crisp white even in the umbrella's shade, but her mind wasn't on the book anymore. A random line had a character mentioning that something had been feeling off all day ever since they woke up ('like everything had been moved three centimeters to the left, so while it all looked normal, nothing felt right anymore'), and Ashley had also realized that hey, wait a second, her day was also feeling just a little wonky too! But no matter how hard she thought about it, she couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was. Today had just been a normal day hanging out with Chris after all. They went to see (and bailed) a movie, spent hours hanging out in the mall and at the game store, and now they were each going back home. Nothing unusual had happened, so why did it feel like something hugely monumental had been going on all day?

"Oi. Earth to Ash, you okay in there?"

A light flick to the center of Ashley's forehead has her blink in surprise, and she finds herself back into the present once again. Chris is standing next to her, carefully balancing the two cones in his right hand and his left ready to flick again if needed, and a bemused smile on his face.

"Oh, uh, sorry Chris. Got a little too into the book I think." She closes the book, not wanting to get melting ice cream all over its crisp white pages (and she really hasn't absorbed a single word for nearly ten minutes now), but Chris doesn't hand her the cone just yet.

"Yeah, I'm not buying that," Chris says as he snorts in disbelief. "I know your 'praise be to books' look, and that was not it. That was your 'head full, too many thoughts' look."

"Excuse me? What? I do not have a reading look! Or a thinking look for that matter!"

"Oh you do. You really, really do. Trust me. You may have been staring at that book but there was no way that you were reading, I would bet my own ice cream here on it." Chris brandishes his double chocolate cone at her, then seems to reconsider and switches to show off her own dipped soft serve that he still has yet to actually let her eat. "Actually, you know what? I would eat your dipped monstrosity if I'm wrong."

Ashley sighs, but she can't keep the smile from her face. "It's not that bad this time, oh my god. It's chocolate ice cream dipped in blueberry syrup. This is actually a normal combination for people who go out of their way to order more exciting cones then two scoops of chocolate." She leans forward and places her elbows on the table to support her head in her hands. "But I wanna see you do it anyway, so tell me exactly why you're so convinced that I wasn't reading."

Chris opens his mouth, but immediately closes it a second later, as though he didn't realize exactly what he had signed himself up for here until now. Ashley of course takes it as a sign of victory. "I knew it. So let's see this Chris, I wanna see you eat something that isn't—"

"When you read you get, like, super attentive." Chris's face is pink, and not looking at her but at the book on the table as he bashfully continues. "You become so drawn in to whatever you're reading that you ignore everything going on around you, because all of your attention is now on that book. Pretty sure a bomb could go off right next to you and you wouldn't even notice sometimes. And it's always so easy to tell what's happening in the book when you're reading too, cause your face is always so expressive. Like your eyes get big when something exciting or surprising happens, and when you're really enjoying whatever it is you're reading, you start giggling like a loon."

Ashley is too stunned and, quite frankly, her heart is beating too fast for her to even think of a proper response to that . She manages to squeak out a quiet little "oh, um" but Chris doesn't notice. Not when he's still babbling and not looking at her at all.

"But when you get deep in thought, you're not like that at all. All of your attention goes inward, and everything around you disappears cause all the important stuff is going on inside your head right now. Your mouth falls open just a little, sort of like you're gaping at all the information in front of you. And-and sometimes you'll mouth out what's going on inside your head as you try to fit the pieces of everything together so it's neat and tidy like a puzzle. And even though you have the, like, blankest stare imaginable, it's not empty at all if that makes any sense. Cause your eyes narrow and your forehead scrunches just the tiniest amount so you have a small little wrinkle form like right here—" with his unoccupied hand Chris points at the bridge of his nose right between his eyes "—and it's weirdly, insanely cute? But when you finally figure out the puzzle in your head, your face lights up like a kid on christmas morning and...and..." He lets his words trail off and stops awkwardly there, as though finally realizing exactly what he's been saying this entire time.

His face is almost beet red now, and Ashley is pretty sure hers is too. "Oh, uh, wow. I-I didn't realize you paid any attention to me when I was like that..."

Somehow his face only gets redder, and though he mumbles the words under his breath, Ashley can still make them out. "I'm always paying attention to you."

But not close enough attention it seems, she thinks sadly. If you did then you would have noticed something way more obvious than that. But she doesn't want to embarrass him anymore than he already is (then she already is), and she isn't sure what else she could possibly say that wouldn't be her blurting out that she likes him, so instead she pretends that she hadn't heard a single thing and wordlessly accepts the ice cream that he hands to her, accepting her defeat as she takes a small bite of the blueberry covered chocolate soft serve.

...The blueberry covered chocolate soft serve that he had bought for her. Or, you know, the ice cream he had paid for himself. Just like he had paid for everything today. Kind of like it was almost a, uh, date. Like he had taken her on a date.

Oh .

"Oh boy, let me guess: I was right and your ice cream really is a crime against taste buds?"

Ashley comes crashing back down to reality to see Chris, his face still a little red but the playful smile back on his face as he teased her. And yet, that only makes it worse as she can't help but feel the usual gymnastics routine the butterflies in her stomach perform at that particular smile, only they're a thousand times worse now that's she's realized exactly why today had felt so strange. And she can't help thinking how much everyone else would classify what was just a day hanging out with her best friend as a date. And how much she really, really wished it was one.

"Nope," she unfortunately squeaks out, and clears her throat so she can continue in a more normal tone of voice. "Nope, sorry to disappoint Chris, but the ice cream tastes fine." She takes another bite for proof (and to her credit she's not lying, it tastes more than fine). "Just, uh, realized something funny that's all." And the moment the words leave her mouth she realizes just how badly she's screwed everything up, because there is no way in any world that Chris Hartley is just going to let that comment lie.

"Funny? Oho, well now I'm interested. You mind sharing your glorious epiphany with the rest of the class Miss Brown?"

Taking another small taste of her ice cream, Ashley averts her gaze as she gives what she is kicking herself for is obviously an extremely forced laugh. "Did I say funny? I meant boring, just super boring actually."

"Well now I just want to hear it more."

"No, you don't. Trust me, you really, really don't."

Chris's brows furrow in concern. "Ash? You okay?"

She isn't, of course she isn't. She's now realized exactly what a date with Chris would be like, and it would be exactly like this. With them going to all the same place and doing the same things but she's allowed to hold his hand and kiss him when he does stupid sweet things like buying her the book she's been eyeing and talking about all day. She's never wanted something to be so true so badly in her life. And it's likely this thought in her mind that causes her to blurt out "A date." before she even realizes what she's said.

That only makes the confusion on Chris's face go deeper, which is appropriate considering she's sinking deeper and deeper into her chair in a futile effort to hide or escape as well. "What? Are you saying that you just remember what date it is today? Or that you had something you were supposed to do today instead? I'm not really following you right now Ash..."

This is perfect. It's the perfect excuse, she could laugh and say that she totally forgot what day it was and that she had an essay due pretty soon, or that she was supposed to babysit for a neighbour tonight. Anything really, the sky was quite literally the limit. And instead she just bit her lip and stared at the ice cream melting in her hand before weakly admitting "No, a, uh, date. As in, the romantic kind. I realized that today probably looks like a date to anyone else. Funny, huh?"

She's not sure how Chris would react to that. Maybe a startled laugh, and hand wave as he brushes her off. A scoff as he assures her that this definitely isn't a date, cause they're just friends and that's all they'll ever be. Whatever the reaction she expected, it was certainly not the fumbling for his ice cream as he nearly drops it in his shock, and how absolutely flustered he sounds as he trips over his own tongue. "W-what? I-I-I, uh—I mean, th-this obviously isn't—Who would even—? Wh-what would even give you the idea that we could um, possibly be on a date?"

Ashley shrugs weakly. "Isn't it obvious Chris?" She ignores his even more flustered babbling that no, he absolutely did not see what was so obvious as she continued on, still too nervous to look him in the eyes. "You've kind of paid for everything today."

"I wha—? I mean, no I haven't!"

"You kind of have, Chris. The theater?"

"You know I always pay for the tickets, and it would have just been really rude to make the line even longer!"

"The art show?"

"It was just a couple of toonies! And you saw the face of the worker there, they would have kicked us right out if they'd had to break a twenty. It was just easier."

"Lunch?"

"They-they'd had a special on for a two-person meal at that stall in the food court, and they wouldn't let each of us pay half..." he neglected to point out that Ashley could have easily paid for their lunch, and probably should have, but before she had been able to offer he'd already been swiping his debit card.

"The arcade?"

"Okay, that was my turn to buy the tokens, you know that. That one doesn't even count."

Ashley lifted her eyes from the ice cream to the book that sat menacingly and innocently all at one at the center of the table, it's pristine cover mocking her. "The book?"

"T-that was just a gift! You seemed really into it at the store and friends buy each other gifts all the time—"

There was no describing how soft and nervous her voice got as she asked the question that would put the final nail in the coffin. "The ice cream?"

"I, uh, it was just—um..." Chris let out a breath in a weak chuckle. "Shit, I guess I kind of did, huh?"

Ashley doesn't say anything, and neither does Chris, as the table goes silent. She's bracing herself for when Chris inevitably shoots her down and confirms that it doesn't matter. That the two of them will never be anything more then friends and that she never should have hoped for anything more and by revealing this she's ruined their friendship for good—

"Hey, uh, Ash?" He sounds so nervous that it immediately takes Ashley out of her anxiety driven thoughts of doom and gloom, but she can't do anything more than just shakily nod to let him continue. "It's, uh, probably like a really, really, really stupid question but—" he takes a nervous breath "—did you want this to be a date?"

Her head immediately shoots up as she stares at him with wide eyes, her breath caught somewhere in her throat where her heart is currently lodged. She frantically rakes her eyes over Chris's face looking for any hint that he's mocking her, or playing some cruel joke on her and her feelings, but all she sees is just nervousness all over a pale, shaking face with what she thinks ( prays ) is a glimmer of undisguised hope. But it's still too much uncertainty, and she's too scared to risk it all on a mere glimmer that she is likely only imagining because she wants it so badly to be real, so she throws the question back at him instead.

"...would you have been opposed if this was actually a date?"

"Nuh uh, I asked you first."

Ashley realizes that he's just as scared at what the answer might be as she is. She wants to tell him, has wanted to tell him for years and years and years. And maybe this is the chance she's been waiting for her whole life. The two of them sitting at a sticky plastic table under the early evening sun, long forgotten ice cream melting in their hands, and she can finally tell him that she's had such a huge crush on him since she was twelve.

"Yeah." The word is less choked out than it is released. Like it's a breath of fresh air and she feels simultaneously lighter and heavier for it. "I-I think I would have liked that. I would have liked that alot."

Chris snaps his gaze up to meet hers, and the glimmer of hope that she had seen earlier has now nearly taken over his face at the disbelieving smile that's threatening to crack his face in two. "Really? I-I mean, uh, I would have been alright with the idea too. More than alright actually."

She can feel her own smile start to nervously match his, and then the first giggle breaks out. His own ecstatic laughter quickly follows her own until the two of them are both giddily laughing at the table, but too embarrassed and bashful to even look at each other now. The giggling abruptly cuts off when Chris lets out a yelp of surprise when he realizes how much of his ice cream has melted onto his hand and Ashley joins him in trying to finish off their ice cream before it's melted entirely. But there's definitely a change in the atmosphere around them now. The contentness and laid back ease that always formed between them whenever they hung out was still there, but there is a charge that hadn't been there before either. An excited anticipation that only surges higher and higher whenever Ashley shyly glances in Chris's direction to find he's looking at her with the same disbelieving smile beaming on his face.

They never say anything more about it as they both finish off the ice cream, but Ashley knows. With that little agreement, the entire day had changed. This wasn't just them hanging out as friends anymore, this was an actual, factual date now, pure and simple. So when Chris hands her a couple of extra napkins to clean herself off, she may have let her fingers brush against his for just a moment. The resulting blush and dumbstruck smile on his face when he cautiously took his hand back so he could clean up the rest of the mess on the table was oh so worth it. And when he returned from his trip to the garbage can and held out his hand as an offer to help her up from the chair, she accepted it readily.

Once she's back on her feet, the two of them drop their eyes to stare at their still clasped hands, realizing that they could easily hold hands the entire short walk back to Chris's truck if they wanted. And she does want that—horribly in fact—but it seems it's still a little too early for either of them to make that teeny tiny but monumental jump to hand holding so they let go awkwardly and slowly, letting their fingers linger against the others before letting go completely. As though giving themselves a taste of what may yet actually come to pass in the (hopefully) very near future.

The short walk back to the truck is filled with both anticipation and dread alike, but unusually silent. Ashley knows it's because she's now a buzzing ball of nervous energy, terrified that saying anything at all will shatter this dream that's apparently coming true before her eyes, but Chris is different. He looks more like he's trying to work up the courage to say or ask something, and is spending all his energy on that alone. So when he reaches out to open up the passenger side door for her, Ashley can feel her heart pick up speed when he stops with his hand on the door handle and looks at her nervously. His mouth opens and shuts a couple of times as he tries to work up the courage to say whatever it is he wants to say, and all she can do is stare at him expectantly as she struggles to hold back an excited smile.

"Hey, Ash, ca—nevermind. It's, it's stupid. Don't worry about it." A second later, he has the door opened for her and the moment she can't see his face, she lets her smile fall crestfallen. But only for a second before a polite one replaces it as thanks when he closes the door for her and continues to his side of the truck. It's fine, she supposes as she buckles herself in, while the two of them have been hanging out all day, it's only been an actual date now for barely ten minutes. And once he drops her off home in just another few short minutes it's going to be over. The fact that she even managed to get this far is franky mind blowing, so expecting anything more from her dreams would just be extremely selfish. She can't have everything she wants all at once, no matter how long she's been waiting for it.

The drive back to her place is also quiet, filled with only the droning of the radio playing in the background. Ashley's returned back to her book, but she knows that Chris knows that she's not absorbing a single word, hasn't turned a single page even. She keeps glancing at him out of the corner of her eye as he nervously taps at the steering wheel, and then tightening his grasp when it looks like he's going to say something, only to return to the nervous tapping when he inevitably backs out at the last second and returns to the frantic pep talk he's likely giving himself. The air that fills the vehicle is heavy and thick with anticipation and it's taking almost everything in Ashley to not start shaking the question out of Chris at every red light they stop at.

But, eventually, they pull up in front of her place and Chris stops the truck. There's a moment where the two of them just sit there, not wanting to leave because leaving means the end, and Ashley schools her face into a cheery smile in an effort to hide as much of the disappointment as she can when she turns to face him and bid him farewell, only to have it fall to confusion when he starts fumbling at his own seatbelt.

"Chris? What are you doing?"

He struggles further at it, frustrated that the buckle's apparently decided that now is the perfect time for it to stick once again. "Trying to get this fucking thing off."

"Yeah, I figured that much. But why are you trying to take it off, you're just gonna leave right away again anyway."

He slows his fumbling as cheeks start darkening in embarrassment. "I, uh, I just thought that was something you were supposed to do after a date, walk them to their door to stay goodnight. I mean, at least I think this is a date now? And, and only if you're okay with it! I can stay in here instead if you don't want me to. I was just hoping..."

The once forced cheery smile on her face is certainly not being forced any longer, if anything she's trying not to show how much the idea of Chris walking her to her door thrills her. "N-no!" Well, so much for trying not to show how desperately she wants that. The startled look he gives her at the unexpected outburst had her trying to control her voice into something less desperate, but considering she doesn't think she's ever going tame the frantic butterflies that have been flapping around non-stop in her stomach ever since the ice cream realization, she's probably doing a terrible job of it. "I-I mean if you want to, it's completely up to you after all..."

"Cool. Cool cool cool. Just, just give me a second." He continues to struggle with his seatbelt buckle, letting out more and more agitated curses escape the longer the thing continues to stick, and Ashley is getting the feeling that if he was able, Chris would have ripped the entire thing straight out of the seat by now. Broken safety laws and ensuing repair costs be damned. The moment he finally manages to unstick the traitorous buckle it's with a cry of victory and relief so exuberant that Ashley finds herself laughing in disbelief and awe that he had wanted to walk her the short ten or so feet to her front door that badly. Thankfully, for both of them, her seatbelt unclicks easily and much more quickly in comparison, only taking another couple of seconds to grab her bag from the footwell and joining him.

The far too short walk up to her door is over before either of them realize it. One second the two of them had been standing awkwardly and nervously by the truck as she fought the urge to reach out and grab his hand, and the next they're standing just as awkwardly and nervously (if not moreso) in front of the front door. Both of them waiting for the other to say or do something to break the tension, but cleanly aware that doing so would signal the very final end of the day, and the date. In fact, just knowing that Chris doesn't want this to end just as badly as her, is what gives her the courage to look at him with a surprisingly heartfelt and soft smile.

"Today was fun."

Chris lifts his eyes from where they had been staring at the dried leaves on the doorstep to match her smile. "Yeah. It was."

"And thanks. For the movie, and everything else." Ashley raises her hand to give the new and still shiny paperback a small wave. "And, you know, the book too. Of course."

"Yeah, it was no problem. Anytime." There's something with how he says the last bit—not really emphasizing it but making it clear all the same that he means 'anytime'—that causes her face to flush giddily as she pulls her lower lip in between her teeth in a weak effort to fight back against the ecstatic smile that forms anyway. And when she sees his eyes lower just a smidge to follow the motion and the way his shoulders stiffen in reaction, Ashley very quickly also finds she's trying (much more successfully) to hold herself back from just saying 'to hell with it' and throwing her arms around Chris so she can finally kiss him silly and until they're both breathless. But considering that she's too much of a coward to initiate something as innocent as hand holding apparently, there is absolutely no way that something as...as scandalous as kissing him on her doorstep is ever going to happen. Clearly.

And yet, she gives Chris another few seconds to try and work past that blockade in his throat, but when he still can't muster a single word, she decides to just put the both of them out of their misery. Or further into it. It's probably just the same thing really. "I guess I'll see you next time. I'll talk to you later, okay?" She turns away and puts her hand on the doorknob, and tucks the book under her arm so she can dig into her bag for keys, but is stopped when Chris's hand abruptly snakes out and wraps itself firmly around her wrist before she can reach into the bag. And it works—boy does it ever —turning back to him and the hand wrapped around her wrist as excitement just starts to bubble up inside of her.

A second later though, his brain has apparently caught up with the movement he clearly hadn't intended to make, because his face goes beet-red and he's dropped her hand so he can shove both into the pockets of his jeans. He averts his eyes so he's back to staring at the loose gravel and dried leaves under their feet.

"Oh, uh, sorry about that. I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine, Chris." Ashley tries to smile softly at him in reassurance, but it's considering she's gripping the doorknob in an almost vice-like grip in anticipation, it's likely far more eager than she would like. "What is it?"

Somehow, his face goes even redder and he blurts out the question so fast that it may as well have been one word. "CanIkissyou?!"

Immediately, Ashley's gaping at him wide-eyed and her mouth open in shock as her heart's beating so fast that she's pretty sure it's ready to burst out of her chest at any moment. "Wha—"

"I-I mean goodnight. Can I kiss you goodnight? That's what people are supposed to do on dates, right? A-a-a-and I think we agreed that this is a date now, or at least I really, really hope we did. Cause I've wanted to go on a date with you for the longest time and-and-and I didn't want Saundra or-or-or any of your neighbours to see cause I know that would just really embarrass you and me but I've been trying to ask you for the past thirty minutes now cause I've wanted to kiss you since forever but I was scared about how you would react cause I really, really, really like you Ash and I just wanna to kiss you so fucking bad right now you have no idea and—"

Ashley would like to believe that she's brave enough to throw her arms around Chris and drag him down into that searing kiss she's been dreaming about forever and ever, but she doesn't. Even with a confession that is everything she's ever wanted to hear and more. That's not to say that she doesn't want to do it—god does she want to do it—but she's so frozen in place from shock that she physically can't. So instead she just continues to gape at him as he (adorably) rambles on and on, and giggles out an elated little "okay".

His nervous rambling stops dead in its tracks, and he finally looks back up at her, nervous relief evident all over his face. "Really? I mean, are you sure? I'd understand if you didn't want to—"

" Chris ."

That immediately shifts the relief to a different kind of nervousness entirely, one of excited disbelief, but even then neither move to actually initiate this promised kiss for several seconds. Instead just staring at each other waiting for the other to be the first to move, Chris with his hands still in his jeans pockets and Ashley glued to the doorknob with her other hand frozen as it hovers over her bag. Finally, Chris is the first to slowly bend down to meet her awkwardly half turned body, and she unsteadily tries to rock herself onto the tips of her toes without losing her balance completely and falling over. And still, they both pause about an inch away from each other's faces, though whether to give the other an out if needed or just to work through the logistics of how to do this exactly without their foreheads or noses smashing into each other or Chris's glasses getting in the way is anyone's guess.

But finally, mainly due to the fact that Ashley can't lean forward anymore without falling completely on her face, Chris closes that final bit of distance and kisses her. It's a nervous brush of the lips really—a quick peck at best —but they jolt back from each other so quickly that the single action may as well have activated some hidden magnetic repel function that neither had been aware of until this moment. Both of them are staring at each other wide-eyed and breathless as the magnitude of what they had both finally managed to accomplish hit them. The kinda-sort confession and the almost hand holding meant absolutely nothing in comparison to this. Those she could have (and would most likely have) brushed off as her reading too much into innocent statements and gestures when she thought over everything that had happened today in the safety of her room later tonight. But this? This was physical proof .

Looking back, Ashley's not sure which of them moved first. One second they had been staring at each other in disbelief, stuck in the same awkward bent and leaning stature from before, and the next it's as if the magnetic attraction between them reverses its flow entirely. Chris is cupping her cheek with one hand as he kisses her in the way she always dreamed he would, his other hand slowly skating across the back of her neck so he can pull her up closer to him. The book that had once been clutched protectively under her arm was completely forgotten about—fallen to the ground with a sharp crunch as it crushed the dried leaves beneath their feet—as her arms wrapped possessively around his shoulders as she props herself as high as the tips her toes will allow her. She can still taste a hint of the chocolate from earlier on his lips, and the small part of her that isn't being blown away by all of this is wondering if he can taste the blueberry and chocolate on hers as well.

She's not sure how long the two of them stood there on her doorstep, kissing for all the world to see, but she does know that they still separate much, much too soon for her liking. Not that they fully separate of course. She may be back on the soles of her feet, but neither of them have removed themselves from the embrace itself. And with the way that Chris is lightly brushing his thumb over her cheekbone as he just stares at her with the same stupidly giddy grin she's got, Ashley would be perfectly fine if they could just stay standing like this forever.

"So..." she starts, and stops to take a moment to giggle when Chris bumps his nose into hers. "I think that was a perfectly acceptable first date if you ask me."

Chris doesn't let go of her when he leans back to consider her, the comically raised eyebrows in shock doing nothing to take away from the absolutely thrilled beam of his smile. " First date? Why Miss Brown, are you perhaps asking me out for a second one already?"

"I mean, if it's not too presumptuous of me, I suppose I am. I-if you're not opposed to it of course." She can't help the way her nervousness starts to bleed through with that last sentence, already panicking that she's somehow completely misread everything that's just happened and that maybe that kiss didn't mean as much to him as it did to her after all.

His next words completely derail those fears entirely. "Of course I'm not, I would love nothing more than to go on a second date with you. Followed by a third and fourth and even a fifth if you have the time for it."

"I mean, I'm a pretty busy girl but I think I can open up as many days in my schedule as it takes if I need to."

Before she knows it, the two of them are leaning in for another kiss when the sound of pot being dropped in the nearby kitchen through the open window jarringly brings them back to reality and the two of them let go of each other red faced and embarrassed. Oh no, how much of this had her mother heard? Or worse, saw? She wants to leave the doorstep (which is rapidly becoming her favourite place in the whole entire world) even less now, but the longer she takes the worse the excited interrogation from Saundra will be so she starts digging back into her bag to try and find her keys once again.

"I'll text you later, okay? And, maybe, we can talk some more about that second date...?"

The reply from Chris is flustered but eager. "Yeah, totally. I-I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Cool. And um, the next one's one me. The date that is. It's only fair after all."

"Yeah, right. Only fair. Totally. And, uh, your book..."

She finally finds her keys from where they had sunk to the bottom of her bag, and looks up at him and the paperback book that had fallen during their, uh, intimate embrace. "Oh! Uh, right. Thanks." She could easily leave it at that, but the last few minutes have made her bold so when she reaches out to take the book back from him, Ashley curls her fingers over his and bounces onto the balls of her feet so she can give him one last kiss on his cheek—almost the corner of his mouth really—before finally stepping back with the book and keys in her hand. "I mean it. Thanks . For everything."

"Yeah. No problem. It was my pleasure."

She lets herself have one last glimpse of the stupefied grin on his face just as he turns to walk just a little unsteadily down the path back to his truck. The only sounds being the leaves crushing underfoot and the jangle of metal as she sticks her keys into the door to finally unlock it. A sound that it quickly interrupted by not only the click of the door unlocking, but a muffled shout.

Alarmed, she turns quickly expecting to see Chris having accidentally shut his coat into the door as he is sometimes known to do when the weather gets colder, but instead watches in elated shock as he continues to keep energetically flapping his arms and fist pumping into the air and screaming what she can vaguely make out as 'yesyesyesyesYESYESYES' over and over again.

Suddenly it hits her. Despite the shy confession over ice cream, and then the much more rushed and rambled one only minutes ago, and followed by the kiss(es) that are still sending her heart into rapid fire, Ashley still hadn't believed what all the evidence had been saying. Chris liked her. He really, really liked her. Possibly as much as she liked him even! This wasn't just a one-off event that would now make things awkward between them for the rest of their lives. This was happening. They'd just had a first(!!!!) date and after Chris had kissed her goodbye, she had asked him out for a second one.

And he had accepted .

Ashley fumbled with the door and the moment she was in the house, slammed the door behind her, not even bothering to lock it. She let her bag fall from her shoulder to the floor with a soft thump and slowly slid down the door until she was sitting against it with her eyes wide and breathless. She ignored the surprised clatter coming from the kitchen as Saundra immediately dropped whatever it was she had been doing in and held up the book so she could stare at the once innocuous cover in amazement.

He had bought her this book and the ice cream because he liked her and he had gladly and excitedly accepted to go out on another date with her. And even more if he had been serious about that third date and beyond line.

And not that either would ever know it, Ashley mirrored Chris at that exact moment by placing her head into her hands and screaming as the built up joy and bliss finally exploded out of her.

#pride month prompt challenge #my writing #until dawn #chris hartley #ashley brown #chrashley #take two of trying post this stupid thing!#tumblr deleted the last one >:(#but this one actually copied over the italics so that saves me a shit ton of time if im being honest

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raphycraft · 3 years

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The Bridge in the Birch

Notes: Hi! this is my first fic in a long time tbh, I haven't written in a while and this was just kind of for fun, as most fics are, but I am not looking for any critique on this fic, I'm not looking to improve just sing my mlm heart out lol. Anyway!! this is my little fic about Steve and Alex meeting for the first time in mc, I headcanon Alex as a dude mostly so Alex is a dude in this fic as well as Steve, just wanted to write that outside the tags as well because I don't want people to get confused when they’re expecting a woman presenting or lady Alex! likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated! This is a one-shot but I plan to write more little one-shots with the same Steve and Alex : )

Wordcount: 5860

Tags: mlm, gay romance, men loving men, he him Alex, he him Steve, minecraft fanfiction, slowburn, romance , vanilla mc fic

The Bridge in the Birch

He strode across the plains, following the stream downhill, it was a dim day with not much to do. Finding himself humming the beat of that one disc, what was it called? The label had 'Mall' written lazily and smeared across the vinyl disc, he remembered. Reminiscing the confused excitement of finding something entirely new while also having no idea what it was. He spent days building something to play it, something he had seen in a village once, a jukebox, it was called. The day he got it working, he tumbled around his room. Stepping easily and shaking his head with pace, back and forth to the soothing beat of the melody. It was something entirely new, something he had never even seen before. And it was really great.

Running his tawny and worn fingers through his dust, brown hair, he sighed back to reality. Weight of the world falling upon his laboured shoulders again, it must have only been 20 or 30 times before that tune became monotonous and drab? yes? Just another thing in the world to become boring, the thrill of the world around him was slowly and ever so slightly becoming less and less every day. Even now, taking an evening walk with a diamond sword concealed in the sheath was ludicrous, but normal for him. But despite the nagging drab of the world, it kept going, and soon enough Steve would have to head back home soon, as dusk approached and the sun melted away into the horizon. But he continued, it wasn't like too much harm could be done to the entirely armoured individual.

The stream now began to widen out, following the dirt and grass through to the birch woodland and growth not too far ahead. Steves heavy boots began to sink slightly into the muddy frays of the upcoming river. He strayed away slightly to avoid having to clean that mess when he returned later. As the moon began to rise above the hills and mounds of the beyond, the shimmer of the diamond armour was more apparent, traces of light swirling the seams and bolts of Steves armour, the plum shimmering form of the character heading into the heavy shrub and thicket. Birch trunks surrounded him, he lit a torch, fiercely grinding the coal ore against the frayed wooden stick. Burning brightly, the flame burst into life and swallowed the emerging darkness around Steve, whipping and lashing at the trees and shrub around it, Steve always managed to sway and manoeuvre it well enough to avoid any little forest fires. A mistake sorely made too many times when he first woke up in this abyss, empty world.

The sun was still swirling and melding against the rust and rouge sky still, barely visible as the transition formed between the two lights in the sky, watching the two supposedly shift and the sky reform never got old, it was one of the only things that never became annoying, or drab, or like a nagging feeling of time passing for Steve, he craned his head upwards steadily, as he followed the light he held out in front of him into the forest. He decided he would follow the river around the birch thicket, he knew this area well but hadn't usually ventured past the broad and sunk river, all the way from the small stream in the plains, the body of water travelled down the lands and formed larger and greater till the birch thicket approached, it formed deep here and had never occurred to Steve go beyond the water.

It was then Steve let his head fall to the area in front of him again, fanning the smouldering flame in his hands to reignite the fiesty flame, his eyes squinting desperately at a moving form in the approaching shrub, the glow of a lantern was sparkling against the light of steves torch, he almost dropped the stick at his own feet, bewildered at the sight, a light source? There was no village, he knew that for sure, no lanterns or lights he had left himself, he had walked this route a thousand times when he needed to clear his thoughts, only his thoughts were racing faster than ever before.

Did a villager leave this lantern here or something? he thought as he approached, gently reaching up to touch the lantern hanging from its rusted chain, attached to the birch branch above him, just to check it was real. The smouldering heat of the flame hitting the glass was real, and he could feel it, he almost rang back his dishevelled hand out of absolute confusion and bewilderment. No? villagers are not known to wander away from their towns, they can barely hold up themselves without a golem. He couldn't imagine a villager wandering out here to place a lantern in the trees. Then what? he turned rapidly, looking for an answer, something to follow this mysterious amber light. There he spotted it, another lamp, and what looked like to be a structure over the river past the dark and bundling trees and shrub. He jogged hurriedly, confused and hoping for answers, but also excited, it wasn't like a structure he had ever seen before, it was something entirely new.

Approaching the structure he slowed, apprehensively standing behind the protection of a birch tree, he gasped to himself as he gazed upon the small bridge crossing the river, it had been about a week or so from which he last walked this way, it must have been created in that time, it was nothing like the other structures, that had always existed before his time, this one was absolutely new.

The wood posts were oak and held strong and clearly new, stripped and held up by fences, nothing was damaged or weak, it was definitely recent, Steve knew that new intoxicating smell of cut wood. There were large stone brick posts forced into the shingle and clay in the riverbed, they held well and the flow of water dashed around the structure intruding its body continuing around the lowland and around to the plains again. There were planks and trapdoors placed and nailed above the wooden posts as a shelter to the bridge, with lanterns hanging down from the roof of the structure. He approached wearily from behind the birch trunk, noticing there had been fresh daisies, oxies and tulips planted, the soil around them fresh and bumpy in the grass. He began to slow as he stepped toward the fresh hold of the bridge, the stone steps late and unfamiliar to him, someone had built this he thought, stepping onto the first ledge of the step.

The sounds of logs falling and colliding as they hid the floor echoed out the forest, Steve whipped his head up instantly, no longer heavy and weighed by his thoughts (and his helmet) fixed in place by shock and disorientation, torpidly lifting his arms to lift the helmet from his crown as his eyes laid upon the figure in front of him.

Their face was pale with awe, their face basking in the light of the bustling lanterns. Squash fray hair pulled to the side in a messy and rushed ponytail, tousled with the wind gently pulling their hair from side to side, their iron boots shining in the emerging moonlight above, they had a ruffled sage shirt, tucked into their bronze and tight belt, their trousers clearly too big for them, hanging by the belt and collecting at the collar of their boots. Steve letting his eyes fall to the logs surrounding their feet, finally reacting to the clonk and clobber initiating his surprise.

"Uh, let, let me get that". Steve had no idea how he could so casually create such a regular response to such a world-changing matter, but it was his reaction, to just respond in such a way that was almost more absurd than the life-changing event of meeting another person that he had just experienced. He scrambled over the bridge, leaving his helmet on the stone pillar of the bridge on his side. Boots thumping heavily against the plank to the other side, realising he had never even been to this side of the river, he couldn't even comprehend there had been another person here.

The individual stood back in confusion, almost aghast at the situation. As he lent down, he came closer to the person, they had a fray stubble on their chin, misshapenly shaved by the looks of it, and blemish and brown freckles peppered their skin all over, tracing their hands and nose, down their neck and onto their collar, of which he noticed now the sage shirt hung loosely off of their shoulders, they were very scrawny, and their hands were thin and bony, they had leathery gloves with the fingers cut off, and he could even see their fingers were freckly. The palms of the gloves worn and discoloured with time, muddy and frayed at the fingertips. Steve collected the logs around their muddy iron boots and slowly raised to meet with the figure, although he couldn't because here he found he was a good head and a half smaller than the person in front of him, he had estimated.

"h-here" Steve awkwardly and abrasively held out the logs in his arms, towards the person in front of him.

"I, thanks, I guess" they took the logs from Steve and stood holding them for a moment, in distraction and a strange inability to continue this strange, strange, interaction.

"Are you the only one?" they asked, with an almost laughable bluntness, their voice was low but gentle, a stark contrast to Steves deep and gruff tone.

"Well, I thought I was. But uh, you, you're here, unless your not human and-"

"I'm human, I think." They cut in, realising that they were both in the same predicament they looked into each other's eyes for a moment, trying to sort and find an answer to this scenario without a single word. Steves wide, clear aqua eyes swirled and looked into the cloudy, tired chartreuse eyes of the person in front of him craning his head slightly to lock gazes.

"My name is Alexander, Alex for short"

"My name is Steve"

The two finally let go of their curious stares, and under the approaching night sky, the stars peering down excitedly on the two Alex gave Steve an apprehensive smile. Steve warily responded with a beaming smirk. They each awkwardly smiled at each other again for another moment, Steves hands awkwardly pinned to his sides, neither had any idea what to do, something was telling Steve to hug him, tell him how happy and excited he was to meet him, how he had wished he crossed this river long ago. And something inside of Alex felt the same, Alex swallowed his hold on his discontent and excitement all at the same time and opened his mouth to speak again.

"Well I, its dark now, so I should be heading home." He blurted in a flustered manner. Tightening his hold on the logs, almost rushing to just run to his comfy, familiar home. Turning on one foot he spun towards the direction he had come.

"Do you want to meet here tomorrow? I just, I've never met a person before and I feel like we could really use each-"

"midday, 12, when the sun hits the 2nd quarter of the clock" Alex scurried off, in apprehension and a clear awkward fear of heaving to deal with this entirely new scenario. He strode as confidently as one could in this sort of ordeal, away from his newly-built bridge he had been so proud of only a few hours ago, remembering he had needed to add extra support to some of the posts, only to have this happen. "You didn't even finish it” he muttered in frustration to himself. Unlike Steve, Alex was a man who preferred his own company, something that seemed to sort itself out nicely in such a world as this, he had become accustomed to talking to his own self as a form of interaction, and had never even considered another person. The only people he knew were the South Village and they never really spoke on the same terms but understood each other well enough. He turned abruptly at this thought to gaze back at the person he now knew as Steve, Steve had excitedly run back from his side of the bridge into the shrub, torch in hand away to the side of the river Alex had never really been before. He turned back and headed into the plains beyond, there his small cabin stood. Away from the village but close enough to see the gentle lamps in the far distance as the darkness of the night entirely fell over the world. Alex dropped the logs and let them hit the small wood porch in absolute exhaustion. His body heavy and anxious he kicked off the large and stumpy boots to the side of his door, leaning over to one of the lamps hanging from his porch cover, opening the small glass panel to light it up as it spat and sprung inside of its cage, it burst bright and heavy as Alex scorched a piece of coal against the small flame. Reaching back to his door he stared at the flame for a moment, still not able to comprehend what had just happened. He quietly pushed the squeaky hinges open and closed the handle just as the sound of rattling bones and light steps emerged from the treeline. Locking the small bolt on his door he sighed with such release he hadn't felt in months, he leaned up against the wooden door and let himself slump against it and idly removed his tattered gloves.

"Your not the only one, Alex" he stared at his own hands for a moment. He clenched them softly in a strange confusion he did not even understand himself, and lifted his heavy body from the wooden floor and into the next room, almost throwing himself onto the bed, not even thinking about his muddy clothes staining the sheets he kicked off the dirty worn trousers over the side of the red sheets and pulled the thin and meagre covers over himself. Laying his head into the worn and handstitched pillow, holding it in fear he might lose it if he let go. The worn and tired bags around his eyes bettered him at that moment, and he fell asleep clutching bedsheets warming himself into the cool night.

The sun poured into the dark and sombre room, Steve rolling over as the light fell onto his figure and lit his shadow up in the amber morning. The birds singing from the windowsill outside, their shadows dancing and halting in front of the window. The figure grumpily held his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to resist his awakening, he pulled the grey covers over his messy tangled hair, he had almost escaped the clutches of the morning when a heavy bark and howl rung from outside of his bedroom doors. A repeated howling and scratching fell on the oak doors. Steve growled with a low hunger and opened his eyes to the noise. "shut up Panda" he begged as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes. rolling onto his side towards the loud and bright window. Sunlight glaring and life peering from the rays that entered his gloomy tired room. He had pondered as to why he hadn't closed the curtains before he fell asleep last night, and then it hit him that it had been a deliberate action. He sat up with a purpose as the events that unfolded the previous night were found in his sleepy memory, he had left them open on purpose so he wouldn't sleep late! He swung his legs over the side of the bed and gasped as they hit the cold floorboards. 'Worst part of the morning' he thought as he stretched and strained his muscles to wake them up. The howling and scratching had yet to slow from behind the double doors, He rose and shuffled over to the doors, swinging them open from the force on the other side.

"Good morning, Panda" He tried to resist and curb his beaming smile as his wolf and friend, sat excitedly at the door in the landing, and burst in the second it had the opportunity. "You're excited this morning arent you, do you know where I'm off to today?" he crossed his sturdy and wiry arms behind his head to stretch again, Panda leaping onto the covers, circling a good spot to sit while she listened to Steve contemplate about all the decisions he had to make before going out. Steve cracked his knuckles while trying to rearrange all the bundling thoughts in his head properly. "The clock!" he declared to himself, well himself and Panda. He knew he had one hanging around somewhere, he had used it countless times before but never found much need to carry it now, it wasn't like he ever had to remember a time to meet someone. Until now. He rushed down to the landing, pottering down the oak steps, holding the bannister as he sped into his living area and into the crafting room. Here he had piles of boxes, rows of chests and drawers filled with miscellaneous items he needed from time to time. Where would he even keep such a thing? he thought about it for a moment before realising he often didn't organise much in here anyway, so it's not like it fit into a category. He started opening every latch on the chests, barrels, boxes and draws and swinging open their lids and doors. Rummaging through every pointless possession he had from his countless journeys. Eventually, in the box filled with odd nicknacks, an eye of ender, an empty glass bottle, an old treasure map and under it all was the tattered and scratched clock, its glass cracked to the left of its circular clock face. He stared at it for a moment, almost needing how to remember how the thing worked. The small dials and arrows confused the still half asleep individual, he stared a moment longer before exclaiming in panic, it was not long until the hand struck the 2nd quarter.

He paced himself upstairs back into his room, pulling the old and large nightshirt haphazardly off of his body, throwing it into the washbin next too the door. He swung open his large set of drawers, finding his clothes. he grabbed the blue shirt and pulled it over his scarred and unshaven torso, lunging arms as fast as he could into the sleeves of the thing, falling back onto the bed almost, he pulled up his casual and well-cut denim jeans, making sure the pockets weren't sticking out, he stumbled over to the small mirror on his desk. Looking into the musty glass (he remembered at this moment he had to clean it at some point) he saw the reflection of his swarthy skin and the thick beard on his face, he contemplated shaving but remembered he didn't have much time and didn't want to make Alex feel like this was anything more than a curious meeting. He caressed the hair on his face for a moment and grabbed his comb to tidy up his messy hair. It was coarse and dark and the light reflected on it with a sharp hazel glow. Harshly pulling the wooden tool into the front of his hair trying to calm it, he pulled his cheeks trying to check for any marks, it was then he realised how dirty his hands were.

Steves's hands were shabby and timeworn, he often did hard manual labour and had to learn how to hold a sword of such size somehow. He turned and gazed at the dusted and wrinkly knuckles that belonged to him, and met his eyes with his right hand, which had an old bandage fitted around his palm and wrist so it bore less damage and he got less burn on that particular hand. It occurred to him he hadn't properly cleaned his hands or replaced the bandage in days. And head into the washroom to the right of his room to clean off before he left. Unravelling the bandage, it was dirty and mucky underneath. He dove his hands into the bucket of water and tried to scrub any dirt from under his nails as best he could. He found more bandage in the draw besides the bucket and wrapped his right hand up again before running out just in time he thought. Kissing Panda on the forehead goodbye and promising he would let her run outside later. As he approached the bottom of the stairs he locked eyes with the armour stand at the door, the hallway beaming with light reflecting off of its arctic blue shining form. He smirked before deciding he didn't need it and picking up his axe and leather strap, strapping the axe to his back and pulling the strap over one shoulder across his torso, he didn't wanna scare Alex right?

Swinging open the large oak doors by their iron handle, he breathed in the fresh and crisp air of the dreamy sunny morning, almost jogging with the clock in hand, trying to find a good pace to make it on time. After a few minutes, he could see the birch forest in the distance, beyond the plains and mounds. He smiled as he approached the thicket once again, now the environment radiated with serenity and bursting sunlight peered through the trees at him, he tried to remember exactly what spot the bridge had been at, aimlessly following the river and the sound of the water rushing until he spotted the structure through the bushes.

Alex had sat expectantly for some time now, under the shade of the bridge on the luminous and clear day, the lamps had gone out on the bridge but they were not needed under this brilliant sun. He tampered with the unravelled wove of the basket he had brought, keeping it close to him while fidgeting with its worn and old handle. The stick basket held a bundle of goodies: sweet bread, cookies, a slice of pie for each of the boys, cut apples, and some various slices and cuts of pork. "That'll go off if he's not here soon" the individual revised to himself in a fussy tone. He pulled a small gold pocket watch from his pocket, swaying the small device to try and read the dial with the sun reflecting on the clean shimmering glass frame.

"Alex!" Steve called from beyond some of the trees, Alex shut the golden watch surprised, and stood to greet the other man, brushing off the dust from his baggy trousers he greeted Steve with a shy smile the stared at each other again for a moment, Steve saw that Alex did not look as nearly as dishevelled as the night before. His hair was tidy and in a soft plait on his right shoulder, fringe set to the side behind his ear in a tidy fashion, and the small fluff on his chin was now cleaned to an even stubble around his face. "Hi! sorry if I'm late, I don't usually use this clock, to be honest with you" Alex peered down to the messy, rough silver clock that steve held in his palm, scratched and cracked at the glass.

"Maybe because it isn't saying the right time" he pointed timidly with a chuckle, "the hand isn't placed correctly, " he corrected the smaller but more robust man, Steves face flustered with a cherry-pink before huffing about some dodgy merchant, Alex smiled in comfort for the first time that morning, trying to contain a giggle under his grin, before sitting on the side of the bridge he came from, basket in front of him, Steve following the motion with an embarrassed shy smile.

Alex, not sure how to continue the interaction, simple opened the latch of the basket and began to take out the small cloth bundles filled with treats and food, Steve reminding himself at the sight of his low rumbling hunger earlier.

"Wow shit, if I knew you were bringing stuff I would have brought you something nice" He peered as Alex silently handed him a cookie.

"Don't worry about it, I had nothing to do all morning anyway" He peered up to meet eyes with Steve "do you want a sandwich? I've got pork".

"Yeah thanks, I, so you've never met another person right?"

"No, I haven't, well not like you, there are the villagers"

Steve piped up at this mention "Oh so you've been to a village? yeah, they're strange, no matter how hard I try I just can't understand completely? you know? It's like their language is off-limits to my brain"

"I lived in one all my life and still couldn't seem to understand entirely their language, but I guess it's impossible"

"You were raised in a village?" Alex perked his head up from cutting the bread, almost slicing such a horrendously uneven piece off right there with the dagger as Steve asked his question. "Well yeah?" he gave Steve an unsure look, "where else would I come from? A good 4 years at least. When I woke up, had no idea where I was, they had found me on the outskirts of the village and apparently, the golem carried me there. They looked after me as best as they could I suppose."

Steve bored his eyes into Alex a moment while trying to figure out what he had just said, "4 years..." he pondered "are you sure it was 4? I woke up in the woods I'd say closer to 5 years ago. I was like a newborn basically. I had no clue what I was, or who I was, I just remember waking up and wandering around. Eventually, I started to try and make tools to survive after nearly dying on the first night of my life." he chuckled at this as if it was some simple remark.

"You woke up in the forest? shit, I, I got it lucky then I guess. I guess it could have been 5 years, it was only till half a year later I started properly taking note of the days passing." he tried to remember as he passed the smaller man a pork sandwich.

The two sat in silence for a moment as they took their first bite each, Steve ripped into the sandwich, clearly excited to shove the entire thing in his mouth, it seemed to Alex. Alex momentarily watched, before taking a small bite into his, uptight at the thought of eating in front of another person, but then again, judging by the way steve was eating he didn't seem to care who was looking, which definitely took some of the anxious weight off of Alex's shoulders.

"So do you think," he swallowed "we might have woken up at the same time? and never have even known?"

"Well I think so" Steve expressed as best as he could with a full mouth, "we both said 4 or 5 years, and I've never met anyone else so I don't really have any experience about how people are made in this world"

"I can't believe I'm, not the only one" Alex raised his gaze longingly, suddenly the tension raised again as they were pulled back into the stark reality of this meeting, they were both meeting the only other person (as far as they knew) in the entire world that was like them. Steve finally gulped down his mouthful and gave Alex a pining look, that feeling of needing to hug Alex and tell him how glad he came to him, and the same feeling began to bubble inside of Alex too. Steve didn't hold down this feeling this time and smiled with such joy as he practically leapt over to Alex, holding him in an embrace. Alex squealed with such surprise it sent his face into a bundle of blushing nerves. And wearily returned the embrace and wrapped his spindly arms around the large and hardy man.

The thinner man's mind raced with so many different bursts of thoughts. At every moment his brain was observing something else he loved about the man, something he had not entirely noticed before, the feeling of his skin, his weight, his presence, the way his hair was heavy and felt nice on his face, how his beard felt rough as it brushed against him. His face was soft, but his arms were heavy and blemished with age, it was textured, and he was quite fuzzy, arm hair bustling and his hands were worn and old, completely changed by labour, the way his large and burly figure wrapped around him like a ragdoll, he was large and muscular, but was tender in the way he moved. As Alec returned the embrace and wrapped his spindly arms around the sturdy torso of the shorter man. Steves hug grasped with such beaming joy as Alex wrapped into his cradle. He was soft and seemed to sink into Steves embrace, his face was blemished and his eyes held a wisened age Steve couldn't quite pinpoint. His expression was often cloudy and even if Steve couldn't see it, he could feel the lax and affectionate feelings radiate from Alex in his arms. Alex was fragile, it felt weird to consider him in such a way, but he just felt fragile and tense for a moment too long before easing into the snuggling arms of Steve. Steves’s heart bustled as Alex tenderly nuzzled his head into the crook of Steves’s neck, almost in such a manner where he wanted it to go unnoticed.

As the two parted, after a silent adoring moment in each other’s arms, Steve chuckled at the frays of Alex’s hair straying and floating in the dazed air surrounding them, he noticed his face was faint with pink but didn’t bring it up, he was more focused on chuckling at the sight of the messy nest of hair he had created. ‘it’s easy to ruin’ he thought, which led him onto considering how long Alex had spent neatly placing his hair just to see him.

“What? What are you laughing at?” Alex exclaimed to the silent forest, he had turned his head with haste to compose himself for a moment.

“Sorry,” Steve hollered, from what was previously light and a hearty chuckle. “Your hair is just so messy” He leaned over to flick the lock of auburn hair away from Alex’s eyes gingerly.

Alex’s face hardened with a chill embarrassment. He was so jarred by the confidence of Steve, from the moment they met he had been the one to initiate any conversation or real interaction, if Steve had not been so casual about their first meet, he would have turned on his heel and ran with his tail between his legs, he was sure of it. But he hadn’t, he was sitting here now, blushing and trying to tame his hair while the burly figure chuckled and hollered at his expense in such a soft cheer it was rattling the mind of the introvert with such discord he could only sit there and stare for a moment.

“Sorry for that” Steve realised the weight of the embarrassment, looking at his almost locked face for a moment longer, his giggle dying down into a concerned raise of eyebrows. “It’s just been a lot meeting you, It was instinct, if that, makes sense”.

“No no no, I get it” Alex finally shook the introverted daze and responded, “It wasn’t bad just, unexpected.”

“You don’t get a lot of company, do you?”

“Do either of us?”

Steve timidly smiled at the former again, “Well you don’t need me for the company do you? I visit villages a lot, merchants are commonly by my place; they’re always spotting the chimney smoke and the noise, and well, I have a dog too. I don’t like being alone too long, reminds me of when I first woke up.”

Alex’s mouth as he was listening turned up into a silent ‘o’ as Steve listed on. “ Ooooh, here’s the thing, I prefer to be alone, I don’t know, I guess it just worked out, like, I never thought anyone else but I existed anyway so, I feel pretty indifferent about it”.

“Well, have you ever thought if you’d like company? If you haven’t thought about it before.”

Alex pondered a moment genuinely before cheekily smiling at Steve “aw, you want my company that bad?”

Now it was Steves turn to be stunned, Alex had just shot a sly remark his way, uncommon but hilarious. The two laughed together a moment. Softly smiling at each other and simply appreciating one another’s presence. The sky was bundling with clouds and the sun still shot through where it could with great luxury, but the heat started to dissipate into mild weather. The two sitting on the bridge, eating, talking about trivial things. Finally, after hours the cheery pair realised how dark it was getting, the clouds swelling and the sun finally retiring, dipping beneath the hills. Rain rapidly began to drip and pour. Steve and Alex scrambled to collect the picnic and put it in its basket as the water leaked and snuck through the gaps, slits and cracks of the thin wooden roof of the bridge. “God I’m a shit builder” Alex blurted, the static of the pouring rain interrupting him while trying to desperately cover his not-so-tidy hair. Steve finally finished lumping all of the remains of food into the woven basket, handing it to Alex as the snapping thunder began above them.

“This got messy quick” Steve shouted over the thunder

“You don’t say,” Alex took the basket in a firm grip, afraid it might slip out from under his grasp.

They looked into each other’s eyes for about the millionth time today, still in wonder, feeling like the void they had opened up wasn't nearly as satisfied as they had expected. Their fingers brustling against one another as Steve passed the basket to Alex's smooth and soft palms. The tight grip over it barely defines the cracks in his fingers and palms.

“I’ll come to check in tomorrow?”

“Sure” they smiled.

Steve beamed as his beard began to deflate and his hair fell over his eyes. The rain showering over the man, with his top clinging to his skin, he turned with hesitance as they waved their goodbyes and he ran off with a fast pace, searching for refuge from the rain. Alex weakly grinned to himself as he ran through the trees, holding the basket over his head to keep it from wetting further. Finding himself on his damp and rainy porch, he didn’t bother to light the flame in the lantern and entered the squeaky spruce door.

#my writing #read more

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an-angel-in-the-garden · 3 years

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BNHA Summer Fun

This is for @weirdsimpa who wanted to know if I write for Oc's if you didn't see that post the answer is that I kind will. I will only write them if they fit into my rules and fandoms and if it involves the reader i.e.: being friends or romantic. I also through in a bit of hinted romance for reader with Tsunagu aka Best Jeanist because I love him lol. With that cubtoons wanted her oc Ri and with her friends and boyfriend Kugo having some summer fun! Also this is very long hope you enjoy!

It was Haizashi who brought up the idea of going to the beach during our summer break, it wasn't hard to get everyone to agree that it would be a fun time and with that we got to planning. It was near the end of summer that we headed to the beach Ri having planed most of the trip with Kugo and Haizashi. The summer sun was bright bathing everything is it heated glow but scent of the ocean and the sight of rolling waves made it more then worth it. With that our summer break truly started and the next few days would be a blast we wouldn't forget.

Day one Reader pov

We had an early start come the first day of the trip Shouta wasn't to happy but Emi said it be best to make the first day the most productive

Though Ri had done most the work in finding all the best spots I thought it would be good if each of us picked a place to go and work from there

One game of draw sticks later and we were off to the first stop of the day a nice place chosen by Nemuri for breakfast

It was quite that morning other then our large group only a few others were seated to eat

The food came and we ate planning out the rest of the day we were hoping to have from the beach to an arcade near us we had plenty of things we wanted to do

Then and idea struck us. Well some of us

"Ri: With everything we want to do wouldn't it be better to just go separately? Taishiro: Doesn't that defeat the purpose of why we came here as a group..? Emi: Well...maybe a little but she has a point!

It took about half an hour for us to find a new plan

Me and Tsunagu headed to a shop nearby that sold a range of things from books, little souvenirs and clothing

Ri and Kugo headed to the pier to see what was around there

Haizashi, Shouta. Emi, Ryo and Taishiro were getting dragged of by Nemuri to go hang out near the arcade and larger strip mall with the promise we would all meet up that afternoon

It was odd being alone on vacation with Tsunagu even if it was only for a little but as we headed to the shop arms linked I felt my heart beat just a bit faster....

Day one mid day through evening Pov Ri

The waves were beautiful in the raising sun its warm glow shining brightly on the rolling sea

The smell of the ocean is strong and welcoming as I look over beach

The sounds of laughing children brought me back from my thoughts as I looked around the pier rushing up to where Kugo stood

I wasn't sure what we were gonna do but we had about and hour left of free time before meeting up with the others

Kugo gave me a small smile, taking my hand and leading me over the some of the shops that lined the long deck

It didn't take long before we found a nice shop that sold summer clothing for all kinds of people

I tugged on his hand laughing lightly when he had to duck some to enter thankfully the store was larger on the inside

Ri: So what should we get! Kugo: Well what are you looking for we could get a few outfits though I'm not good at picking theses things. Ri: what do you mean! You have grate taste! Kugo:...!!

We spent the hour playing dress up trying on things we choose for each other picking odd styles and things we wanted to see

By the time my alarm went off we both had one outfit to buy and loads of photos to share after the trip

And with that we left giggling and excided for the next few days

Last day semi 3rd person Pov

The last few days had been a rush with sight seeing and shopping trips heading to the beach and trying food none of us had thought to try at first. However today was the last day we would be here and Ryo thought the best way to celebrate the end of summer was with a small beach party just us with a small campo fire some fun food we can cook ourselves and maybe some sparklers to close out of summer. We spilt off that morning to gather what we would need and then hung out at the beach for the rest of the day waiting till nightfall. When the sun began to go down we got ready with some light music and warm fire to hold out for a few hours. It was fun cozy and nice nothing but friends enjoy our summer talking of our hopes and dreams for what are new school year would bring and how we could grow as hero's, Haizashi and Taishiro were making jokes, Shouta was napping already clearing waiting for us to tell him we were leaving, Emi and Nemuri had been playing with Ri till Kugo had call her over. Y/N Sat with Ryo and Tsunagu quietly chatting and enjoy the food they made. With the moon slowing rising Y/N leaned on Tsunagu looking over to her best friend as she squealed happily. Beneath the bright moon next to the rolling waves Kugo smiled lifting RI and nuzzling into her neck and letting himself fall into the emotions the two of them had finally said out loud, and with that their summer fun came to a brilliant close opening the doors to a glowing future.

Okay wow that was longer then I though I would make it! I also wanted to add more but I didn't want it to be to long and also I wasn't sure if I was even happy with how I was writing it. Still I hope everyone liked it but I really hope @weirdsimpa likes it! I would also really like to thank them for asking for this it was new and I had fun writing it plus they made me super wonderful art of my own Oc and yeah I hope this was ok for you! ~Rose

#mha imagines #reader imagine #ocs asks #not my oc #bnha imagines

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thestudyfeels · 5 years

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Why Celebrities Are Worth More Than You

Before I dive (copy that? Because this post is gonna be so deep? Edit: I’ll take Jesus and one litre of bleach, thank you) into this storm of revelations, ANNOUNCEMENT!!! This is the first post in a series where I go all in on a particular topic and dig up hidden nuggets of wisdom from it. In other words, I rant. Hard.

Why am I blessing you with this goodness?

This entire series boils down to improving your mindset. You’ve probably heard the legend that in the Solomon Islands, villagers practiced an, ahem, unique form of logging. If a tree was too large to be felled with an ax, the natives withered down the tree by cursing it for weeks. That’s the idea behind this series: repetition. The PRIMARY reason why I win a lot, is because I am a perennial liar and I won't take a no for my dreams. If I want to have ‘x’ trait, I’ll lie and say I have ‘x’ trait till I do have ‘x’ trait.

This is also known as the Reality Distortion Field, popularised by Steve Jobs. “Steve Jobs’s “reality distortion field” was a personal refusal to accept limitations and to convince himself that any difficulty was surmountable. This “field” was so strong that he was able to convince others that they, too, could achieve the impossible. It was an internal reality so powerful it also became an external reality.” (x)

The catch? The distortion field, and mindset in general, works MAJORLY through repetition. So I don't care if you think you’re the biggest, saddest wanker around, I’m going to drum into your ears that you’re a star and trust me, by the end of this series, every constellation out there will be pining for you.

So tea, I’M ON FIRE TODAY, so if you have a coffee (tea?) to drink, some time to invest on yourself, and a sturdy ol’ cerebrum to upgrade, then join in and watch out for this series (Letters From Solomon Islands, WHATTUP) on your dashboards. My people already know that the how-to’s are clickbait anyway (Coughs, chokes on the shade.)

Why We Adore Our Celebs

The other day I was stalking Tom Hiddleston in my bathroom (please don't use your imagination) and exactly one day ago I had been stalking Billie Eilish in there (yes nosy Eric, I'm bi, but again, don’t get carried away) and there was an interview talking about her rise to fame, and THAT, fellow denizens, got me wondering: Why do we have celebrities? (A profound question Nandini, you’ve done us proud.)

Before you spit something political like “capitalism!”, put down that crochet pattern for a sec. Close your eyes (welcome to woke therapy, ayo), and I want you to envision one of your role models- the people you look up to and would DIE if you get a chance to meet them. The icons you stalk excessively on Insta and have all the notifs on for. No, Sally, your crush on Zac Efron’s abs doesn't count. Sorry to crush your hopes.

Second, consider WHY you love this person so much. It could be anyone - an actor, influencer *smirks*, singer, that hot man down the street who helped you pick up your groceries that one time because you’re clumsy- yup, anyone. Now, trap that love here, in these pages, as you read. (Oh Sally, here’s toilet paper and a cookie, stop sniffling.)

Here’s some foreshadowing: In a nutshell, ‘celebrities’ exist because the rest of us are— excuse us, politically incorrect statement coming through— losers. Or better put, because we can't become ‘celebrities’ ourselves. Don’t run in with your frying pan just yet, James, I’ll do a thorough deconstruction. Stay put and listen up:

Look around and you’ll find that most of the citizenry is living a life for others. Whether subconsciously, or consciously, it’s as if we’re pre-programmed to imitate and copy whatever the herd is up to. “Yo, whatcha up to, Nate, you out partying? I’ll see you in ten then.” “Lol, are you living under a rock? Do you seriously not know what Uggs are?” “I mean… yeah, I hate Justin Bieber too, of course I do.”

And that's not our fault, really. Society briefs us on the ground rules of fitting in pretty early on: get good grades, go to college, try to find a nice paying job– and we do it, like unquestioning muppets helpless in its domineering hands.

Because we all know the ramifications that’ll crop up if we don’t. If anyone even dares to be a bit different, they’re freezed out and ridiculed. They’re slapped with labels such as “insane”, “naive”, “misfit”, or the best one yet - “selfish”. Selfish for living true to themselves. Selfish for hustling hard and making THEIR dreams a reality. Selfish for having the courage to put their own desires before society’s. What. A. Big. Yawn. I’m sleeping on y’all.

And that’s precisely where celebs beat us to the finish line.

Look, these ‘acclaimed’ personalities bubble up because most are afraid to be the most bona fide and best version of themselves. It’s much easier to plop on the couch, switch on the TV, and say, “Man, I could do that any day. And prob better too,” while trying to pick up the remote control with your two toes because you’re too comfy to get up right now.

Your role models, idols, and mentors – the entire bulk of these people have a willpower and fortitude that you could only dream of. They’ve hunted down their fears and faced numerous challenges to follow their dreams. They’ve chosen to remain true to their authentic selves even under constant judgment. Sure, they were all called eccentrics and crazy at one point or another, but— ok no, (edit: wow, I had a mood swing here, lmao) they ARE eccentrics. They ARE crazy. Wild for wanting to change the world. Mad for inspiring millions of people. They’re lunatics who had the audacity to dream big, shed the shells of doubt and insecurity, and dared to live their best life.

Moral of the story is: Celebrities, pop stars, and internet personalities aren’t just people who got lucky and wealthy. They had a special kind of fearlessness and self-awareness to get here, qualities worth examining for yourself.

So here’s your mental workout for this post —

Go and ruminate deeply about what makes you love the people you admire. What do they have or do that you want as well? Is it their spontaneity? Their courage and faith? Or is it their kindness and humanity? Or perhaps most importantly, their passion? Have you fallen in love with their excitement to go to work or does your heart melt at the gratitude they show others?

Find out what it is that makes your eyes sparkle and the corners of your lips turn up when you look at them. It is easier to find what you’d love to do from what others are doing than brainstorm on an empty page. *Sally looks up from the corner* “And then what?” *Me, smiles, sensing the crazy philo rant coming ahead* “And then, Sally dear, you live.”

The next step is a big one. You do what THEY did. If they’re passionate, YOU learn to become devoted to your dreams as well. If they don’t give up, you NEVER STRAY either.

You see, we have it in all of us to become great. And we can start wherever we are. Jen Sincero, an author and coach, put it well: “It’s not your fault you’re fucked up, BUT it is your fault if you stay fucked up.” So start where you are. Start NOW. Follow the advice Will gave to Louisa in his departing letter in Me Before You (I’m a soppy romcom fanatic) – “There is a hunger in you, Clark. A fearlessness. You just buried it, like most people do… so live boldly. Push yourself. Don’t settle. Just live well. Just LIVE.”

Love, the world isn’t as scary as we’ve all grown up to think it is. Passion, kindness, faith and magic breathes among us. You’re not a loser, darling, scribble over that insult so it says “lover”, and heal, knowing that the world awfully, I give you my word of honor (still an 18th century woman, y’all), wants you to win.

And I? I’ll be right here waiting for the day when there’ll be no such demarcation of people as “winners” or “suckers”; just conquerors with big hearts and unbreakable faith, all ready to make that small life count.

Go win.

The End Card That Rambles On And Plugs Even More

🌚🌝 Further reading? 🌝🌚

Last post: 13 Lessons from the 2018 Chapter

if you don’t love yourself, read this. please.

+ Want to request a post? Leave your request in my ask box & I’ll get back to you asap!

Thanks for dropping by! It was a pleasure having you around. If you wish to stick for a bit, I’d suggest picking one of the related posts mentioned above.

I post new posts bi-weekly, and my wins, & journal entries throughout the week, so follow me if you’re into conquering life, leaving a legacy and being the baddest badass you can possibly be. I’ll be your side pal, cheering you along.✨

And that was it, it’s a wrap! Martha, shut the cams, Henry, pause the audio, and Nandita, I know you’re pretending to be deaf, but Mom’s yelling something about doing the dishes. Better skip along.

And you, fellow conqueror? Keep slaying life, doing the work and making it count. I hope you’re well, stay strong and go conquer life. ✧

I’m sending you so much love, see you soon.

— Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

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honey-and-strawberry · 3 years

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No no, I don’t mind at all! Apparently (this is what my mother told me) my teachers caught on pretty early that I had som difficulties but since I read A LOT of books no one really tested me. I got glossary with me home from school every week to practice but I don’t have any memory of this. It wasn’t until I was going to take my drivers license it was noted (I had studied 2 years at university at that point without any problem) but this theoretical test for the drivers license, I never passed it! I tried 5 times and by the fifth time I was completely crushed and devastated, how stupid must I be for not managing that test!? Well, turned out I wasn’t stupid, I just changes places of some words and read a bit slower. After that I got some adjustments for doing the test and got only 4 wrong answers of 70 questions ^^. Wow...that was a long explanation!

Well of course they want to hang out with the cute American, you’re fricking adorable AND lovely personality ❤️! Let’s just stick with you’re a good listener 😁!

Tolerance to heat still sounds like magic and witchcraft. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.

Actually, in the beginning I thought Shownu and Jooheon had plastic surgery, because of their lips, it looked to perfect to be done by nature and DNA but as time went by I figured that wasn’t the case - even if it were, I wouldn’t care, they can do whatever they want to their own bodies. I have a hard time with fans who bluntly tell their idols when they don’t like something with their idol, hair, tattoo or what not. Regarding Wonho, that amount of muscle isn’t attractive to me HOWEVER no one can deny the amount of work and dedication he put in his body and shaping in the wet he wants to! And besides that, the music he does and produces is just pure bliss ^^. I also love the fact that he is questioning beauty standards in Korea. An idol will never ever be able to satisfy all its fans at the same time but still fans are so pushy!!

Hmm, it was the Song itself, or more than so the beat. I’ve never been anyone to listen to lyrics that deep but the music and the beat has to have something. And monsta x sure has a lot of those songs, as I later found out ^^. Aww, that your boyfriend was a bit worried that he would make you upset ^^. Although some fans are rotten to the core most monbebes seems to have a quite hearty and joking attitude with the members. I’ve den a lot of mems and the king of them all 😊!

Maybe this is something you’ve written about before but when did you start writing, and what was the reason for it, if you don’t mind me asking?/stumbling anon

I’m gonna answer bellow to save space❤️

That’s amazing you got an answer and can accommodate for it! When I was little I had a problem with reading and speaking so I was in speech therapy from kindergarten till about middle school (tested out of it in 7-8th grade). I thought my problem was I was so young when I started school (I was in the cusp for the age group to start school so I was always the youngest in my grade), but as I get older I think my problem could be associated with something else because I would think too fast so I would sometimes slur my words whether it’s speaking or reading. (Which explains why when I write, I sometimes skip words like “the” or “and”).

Aw shucks 🥺❤️ sadly when I was a teenager I would get hit on a lot when I visited Europe, but thankfully they backed off when I said my age. It’s not my fault I had good tits 😭

Tolerance to heat is witchcraft and I feel the same way about people who have a tolerance to cold. I’m glad to be a desert witch, but you can’t grow anything here.

I thought the same thing about Honey and nunu(Shownu)! But then seeing childhood photos, there’s no way it’s artificial. I wish shownu had his chubby cheeks again 😔 same with Changkyun. Omg I get so upset about the tattoo thing because “fans” pressured Wonho to remove his tattoos and it’s like bitch those are not for you, they’re for him. Imagine his photos now if he kept the one on his thighs 🥴.

The song is so hype I totally understand why you love it! Coincidentally that mv was the one that had me scared of Jooheon 😱 he looked so tall and intimidating, I was so scared of him. I’m glad I have a sense of humor when it comes to me being a fan because yeah some people could be sensitive about jokes but I lived on the “we tease you because we love you but we would never cross the line”.

I don’t mind talking about me writing ☺️ I think I started writing stuff back in my early teens (mostly original stuff, I tried writing fanfic but couldn’t get it write). My best friend liked my stuff and would often read it, it was very sweet. My parents even liked my writing, I think my dad is my number fan, he would often ask me if I’m still writing and what I’m writing about (but I won’t actually tell him what I’m writing for obvious reasons. He knows it’s explicit content). After graduating high school I had a huge hiatus during university, it could be because of time but I don’t really know. Maybe I didn’t have a muse back then. I didn’t start writing again till I found kpop but I only wrote for myself. I didn’t know there was a whole community dedicated to content like this so after a few months of keeping stuff to myself, I started posting (on a different blog). It was so scary at first because I thought it would be cringe or bad, but people seemed to enjoy it. I gained some very lovely friends during that time and I’m eternally thankful for them and what I achieved. I made this new blog because my last writing blog was a side blog and it got annoying. I don’t regret moving to this one, it’s a lot cleaner. Do I miss having all of those followers (lol as if it was a lot, it was barely 300 before I made this one) and having access to immediate notifications on posts? Sure, but this one I don’t feel restricted. I don’t think my fics will ever compete to some of my past work, but it’s not about the note count, it’s about sharing the story and if people don’t want to read it 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ yes there is a big problem with lack of interactions that kill content creators, but I accepted I’m probably never going to get interaction except from the same 4-ish people (and there is nothing wrong with that, I love you and the others too❤️). Problems I’ve had trying to back “popularity” (as if I had that in the first place) is lack of readers using the tags to find content (they would use top tags instead of recents), of course lack of reblogging, and too much favoritism (there are some blogs who don’t deserve their following and it’s not because I’m salty). Sorry I rambled for a bit, it was just a lot on my mind. I really want to continue writing, but finding motivation and getting into the right headspace is hard as hell😔 (in reality I have a better time brainstorming and collaborating with friends than I do actual writing and they all call me a genius for the fluidity and ideas. Bless them❤️)

Something unrelated but what is the craziest dream you ever had that you remember??? If you ever had a reoccurring dream

#my stumbling anon❤️❤️❤️

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survivor-kuwait · 5 years

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Episode 4 - “I'm tryna figure out this vote like magnifying glass emoji." - Matt S

So naturally I’m panicking because I’m so sure I’m going to warzone, and the last thing I wanna do is be the swap vote out. I’m enjoying the Ma’an Tribe and just being able to talk to people, especially Kait and Owen. So far I only have individual conversations but maybe tribal will actually allow me to make alliances. I hate saying that cause I would never ask to go to tribal unless I really had to.

Challenge update. I think i have decent scores. Will they keep me from the bottom 5? Who knows but im trying my best. Im trying hard in the first game because i think thats the lowest score. Also FUCK multitask. That is very hard. I just want to be safe this round and figure shit out with Nehe, Stephen, and Trace. I have a little rant about Nehe coming up soon. 🤭 Oo I wanted to scream to Renee not to say anything till the votes were read. I knew she was gunna say something when it was a 3-3 tie and she unmuted. It was a big MOOD tho. I just hope she is able to stay safe. I do trust her a lot.

So we recently switched and I still don't know who is on my tribe lol. I am still with Kait which is great! I am with Owen, Stevie and Madison who I spoke to briefly, Matt who I just met, Chloe who I have always wanted to meet, and some new faces such as Timmy, Renee, and Jacob. I always love a tribe with a bit of everything.

Hello diary room how are you? I am making money moves. Connecting to my “tribe” members. Even Trace. The only bitch i don’t care to be friends w is Maynor bc he stinks of Renee’s brainwash. As we all know, Renee hates me and wants me out etc etc. I am doing what I can to protect myself if I end up going to tribal. All i can hope for is that, if renee is at tribal, maynor isn’t as I would have 4 who would have my back from my tribe. That’s 5 votes. If I can get Matt or Madison or someone else on the other tribe to come with, it’s Au Revoir René. I don’t think I’ll be immune as I only had about 3 hours to work on these 5 flashgames but who knows. I trust Adrian. I hate to say that but I do! I quite like Ian and want to trust him but it’ll take time. I believe Devon has my best interest at heart. Okay that’s all for today x

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Just played Axon and I hate this game soooooo much. I play Minecraft all day and spam click all the time but this game is gonna give me carpal tunnel I sware. My arm hurts so much. I guess it’s time to go to multitask

I have been trying to beat my scores in these flash games and i cant. I dont think they are good enough to keep me from the bottom 5. I’m really nervous to be in warzone with people i havent worked with before. Jshdiw i hope i couls find that idol tonight. Ill feel better if I have it in my hands. Nehe rant. So like he said he was down to work with me and have my back. And once again for some reason has happened again. He lied to me about voting for doodle (also willing to do Stevie) because he voted for Renee, my partner! His reasoning was cuz he told me that he was told thats were the majority was so even tho he told me he trust mr, he didnt believe me when insaid that it was going to be doodle when it switched. He still wantsbto work with me so thats good and i have leverage i culd use because he told me he wanted trace gone so i could throw him under the bus if i feel like i cant trust him. Idk if i should be upset about this cuz ppl liebin survivor but in this twist trust is way more important now than in a regular season.

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Immunity or tribal it doesn't matter the game presses on. The benefit of immunity is to just build relationships with people without the risk of going home or burning my idol(side note fuck all you bitches when you inevitably turn against me an make me burn my favorite piece of jewelry). Corey has really grown on me, talk game of thrones with me and I'm alliance putty in your hands! I was happy to see Maynor again, I feel there is something there that can be fostered, Cullan is a bit of an ignima to me still. I'll crack him though one way or another. Trace and I have begun chatting so I'm still up in the air on him and really most my tribe and people in this game. I honestly expected to be on the low end of scores for this challenge but I wasn't? Idk, double elimination means retrograde and please, please don't let it be Chloe vs Willow, I want them both to stick around and be valuable allies. If they can't keep the votes off them then as Walder Frey once said, " I'll find another."

This warzone where 2 people are leaving is just not cute. I was not happy when I saw that. I knew I was going to be here because I did each of the flash games like once or twice and called it a day so I knew I was going to be here and I accepted that. When I saw who else was there I thought "okay, I think I can probably find people to vote with and stay safe this time around" and then BAM it's a double elimination with the vote and it totally changes the strategy of the vote. Could be more difficult to navigate. All I know is that I need to step up my social game because I haven't chatted much with people and I need to start building relationships so if I end up here again I have people that have my back. I am just struggling with the idea of working with Nehe. Longevity I don't think I want to do. Short term, sure. But I don't think I want to deal with that for the whole game. Been there, done that and I am over it. I was talking to Adrian last night and my god that was an infuriating conversation. Adrian had no idea how the warzone was operating because he hadn't been there and I just wanted to say "sis, read an effing post you lazy ass and it will make sense" It's not that hard to understand, it is just different from normal. I just hate when people don't know things because they don't want to read a post. Going back to this double elimination tribal; it is really hard to choose two targets. Being on tribes that don't seem to matter because we get scored individually makes it almost a moot point to target people for poor challenge strength because it is a pretty individual game. I guess that would be incentive to get out strong challenge performers but all of those people won so again, not a good strategy. Also everyone has just encountered different people and no one is being put together with the same people as someone else so there are a bunch of different dynamics between players, more varied than normal because we aren't forced to interact with the same people for an extended period of time. These votes have just been a lot more nerve wracking than votes normally are and making it out alive feels like more of a feat than normal. I'd say I like the extra challenge to step up the strategy because it's different, but I honestly don't. I don't need this extra anxiety about votes, no thank you. I just hope I survive this!

New tribes yay... I miss maynor and it’s overwhelming to actually be forced to talk to more than one person lmao. But other than that it’s good and I’m safe and immune and so far everyone here seems cool... even if I can’t trust anyone because of those 3 votes I got last tribal!!!! Doodle and Stephen and maybe nehe better watch OUT

Now that the game has finally sped up a little bit, I'm excited because I feel like I can actually play the game more. I am also ECSTATIC that I am not at this double tribal thing, because that sounds stressful and I know that avoiding it completely was the best case scenario for my game right now. I really really like Corey. Him and I have hit it off and I can see us working together really well deep into the game. I'm glad that he is safe this round too because he is probably the person I am closest to on this tribe of people I am kind of afraid of. Ian came to me and started talking as well, but something just doesn't sit well with me about him. He blew everyone out of the water in the challenge, so that will have to be something I need to think about down the line when I decide who I want to vote out. Nehemiah talked to me a lot before he went into the war zone, trying to apologize to me about voting Renee. He made it seem like I was withholding information from him which could not be further from the truth. Classic erratic Nehe again making shit up and trying to pin it on me. I want his ass out and I want it out soon. I feel like I finally have some footing in this game. Timmy and I are tight, Corey and I are tight, and I made good relationships with Renee, Madison, and Owen in the last war zone. Hopefully if I do end up going to the war zone again I'll be able to have at least a few people to work with, because right now I don't feel very comfortable on my tribe if this game were normal and we voted each other out.

I am feeling FUCKEN PAN-tastic!! I was working last night so just read the post quickly and it said I was in the Warzone. I felt really sad and nervous but there was an error and I was actually immune. I was so happy that work didnt suck. It was a double too so Im super duper happy that I didnt end up going to tribal. I need to talk more to Ian because Me and him are talking most than others. Im also talking to Trace since he is Timmy’s partner and I want to work with him. Ive been talking to Corey for a bit. I need to make stronger connections while im safe so I can rely on them to want to work with me in the future warzones.

I am so happy to be safe this round! I'm kind of just glossing over the tribe swap because it's barely like we're on tribes since we're competing against them. Just hoping it's 2 from the other tribe gone so that way we still have 5 people to be safe. But also it'll probably be 1 and 1. Either way someone is coming back because retrograde is activated every round 2 people leave so that's going to be interesting. Them and Nehe can start a club...unless it's Nehe again lol. Honestly let it be Nehe again because it means he won't win in the end. Like who would vote for the person who was voted out twice, once has happened, but twice, idk if people would respect that. It would be he hasn't been playing a good game since it was easy to take him out. I'm just excited that I don't have to attend tribal and I can talk to people without the stress of making plans. Matt and I have been talking and he's pretty cool. He is definitely someone I can see myself working with since he's easy to talk to so far.

Well this twist is proving chaotic as it was intended. It appears we have a split but who the hell onows with this round. I do feel a little vulnerable with short repossess from some. I mean anyone could go home tonight.

i will write something longer when I'm home but I'm shook???? that I won the flash game thing. Matt is my fave and I hope my boring Scorpio person goes home thx

Do I trust that these people are gonna give me the correct information when its only 15 minutes before tribal? Not for a fucking MOMENT! But I haven't heard my name and people are like swimming between 2 names and I love both of them equally. Like this is sooooo hard. No me gusta.

I got meself an alliance AND I somehow still haven’t gone to tribal... why am I more stressed now than I was before??? I think the fact that the game is becoming super real is what’s making me really nervous, and as much as having a solid 3 with Owen and Kait makes me extremely happy, considering I trust them more than I’ve trusted an alliance in most games, there’s still so much game left to be played, and I remember in Solomon getting swapped away from my allies and it screwing me over.... I’m shaky!

Oop. Tribal is going to be soon. I wonder who the two that will be going. I just hope it isnt someone Ive been talking to. 2 people will be leaving so i think its going to trigger retrograde and one will be back.This warzone is really messing up strategy in this game.

I missed two round confessionals which suck but to quickly basically sum what y’all missed. I formed the voters pact that plan was throw challenges to get to the warzone but that in it self failed cause they didn’t all throw and then doodle was voted off the next round. I also kinda got lied to about the vote so like boo. This round in the warzone I kinda like this batch and it’s now how do we navigate the double vote out thing. I have a personal vendetta with Adrian cause I don’t trust him and Chloe is basically a non factor . So the plan since last night was always to go for those two it was just how do we go about it. I decided to make a group of 5 because it made it easier for them to willingly “choose” who they wanted to vote. And thankfully we lead them into voting chloe and Adrian. Now it’s just navigating who votes who and if the plan stays the plan. Fucking Devon is chaotic switching shit. He tried to switch the vote to willow to succumb to Thomas but who gives a fuck what Thomas is voting. I just care about the finale vote tally. I’m afraid definitely if it’s gonna be me for the fact that I don’t want to go back to the retrogade but it can easily be me. Like personally I feel like I’m always able to get people to groove in the direction I want but then I let them mingle and shit happens. I always make sure to have a hand in with everyone sonthey don’t want to turn on me but really the people I truly trust is stevie, Devon and maybe Stephen. Stephen is weirding me out shady vibes but we’ll see.

Immunity never tasted so good! I need Adrian to be safe. I need Madison and Jacob to be safe bc I think they’re at tribal? I would like Renee and Maynor gone but they’re both safe boo hoo. I am socializing w everyone. I love Trace, Adrian, Ian. I would like Cullan gone sooner rather than later as he is hard to socialize with but I like his partner, Willow. That being said, I think everyone likes Willow. Her leaving wouldn’t be the worst thing tonight but I do stan.

I have no sins I’m literally just sitting !!!! Kisses!!!!! Made an alliance with Matt and Kait. But you know how this is gonna turn out....? Kait and Matt are gonna get closer and at some point she will pick HIM over ME!!!! Heksjd this CYS flashback. But for now I like them. Glad that Timmy and madison are on my tribe even tho Timmy considered voting stevie.... speaking of Stevie zzzz boy rlly almost didn’t save himself Lol. But yeah I’m happy the game has shaken up and I’m excited to see what happens at this tribal. I need to really step my social game up tho so I have numbers when I’m down in that bottom ten

I’m tryna figure out this vote like magnifying glass emoji

It sucked thay Willow went. Hopefully she is able to come back because I feel like i had a good connection with her. Madison and Stephen survived so that was good. Right now Im hoping that i can be part of the live challenge. So I have hit M4 N4 O4 P4 and Q4. Im hoping R4 is the last one and i get something tonight at 11:30pm. I keep forgetting to do a reminder for idol guess so it keeps going back further n further.

so happy we voted out two girls, no offense but this warzone twist makes it impossible to backstab nehe and co. effectively. Its fine, hopefully itll be over soon and I can vote his ass out. No offense to the guy but he just very controlling.

Willow, nothing against you, but I really wanted you gone. I hated that you made it to FTC of another ORG without anything besides an idol play and I can say I am not fulfilled. Sadly, Chloe went to and it sucks because I always wanted to play with her but sadly it was short lived, for now. Hopefully Chloe wins her way back into the game!

Of fucking course it's Chloe and Willow in the retrograde. Bastards are voting off the people I know for sure would mess up and leak it to me if I needed to play my idol. I told Corey about how Cullan is short with me and he confirmed he is short to him as well, it must just be how Cullan is. That's fine and all but makes it hard to get a read on him. Corey and I continue to get along from my perspective, more good news, I did not fuck up while I was completely wasted last night and tell someone about my idol. I have a bad track record of getting drunk and laying all my cards on the table to people. I'm not only playing against everyone in the game but also drunk Ian, and that guy is a prick.

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I did my next hit and it sunk the ship!! It’s my first time actually finding something in these idol searches. It may not have been an idol but a vote steal is a good item to have when you just need that one more vote. Im not going to tell anyone I have it. Its going to be a secret until it is used to take a big target/threat in this game.

so far in this game im just working on building my connections! i havent gotten a vote yet which is good but i want to try and not go to tribal as much anymore bc eventually i will become a target. i feel as though my best alliance is with madison obvi since we started together and are good friends. other than that im glad adrian stayed because she is someone i could see myself working with

Fuck this I’m tired and my fingers hurt and ugh

Im waiting to found the retrograde duel and hopefully willow is able to come back because I have some part of connection with her. That is all for today. Oop. Bulbasaur in detective Pikachu was the cutest!!

I got voted out bc I had a busy 2 days and I don't think my score for retrograde is very high goodbye

#survivorstarzone #episodes

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apkrich-blog · 5 years

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survivormuxloe · 5 years

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Episode #12: “if they were smart, they would take me out tonight.” - David

Man, things are not looking good at all for me and my alliance, LOL, sweet lord. Jones was blindsided at tribal, and now if I don't win out these immunity challenges, I'm definitely gonna go home.

Winning 2 in a row is a feat in itself, now I'm going for 3. With a time of 7:58, I feel pretty good about it. The key is to not get ahead of yourself and take your time. People go too damn fast in these endurance challenges and manage to mess up, I'm hoping that's the case again this time, LOL.

so...! POST TRIBAL JONES WENT HOME 4-3-1 HALLELUYAH LOLLL LIKE THE GODFATHER IS GONE!!! rhys legit gave me tobi and ryan a fucking heart attack bc if he selfed it would have been 3-3-1-1 and ryan was gonna use his idol on tobi.. i have to laugh lol but ya like uhm.

its rly weird to be in this position. where i feel insanely comfortable. i’m the only person left with 0 votes to my name, me and tobi are the only people to vote 100% in majority throughout this game. :))

and it’s even better bc.. tobi and ryan both think i’m their #1’s. and i can act the fool bc i’m the ONLY canute left vs 3 mercia 2.0 and 3 sweyn 2.0 hehe...

its super weird i dont usually have good positioning but i feel as if the only way i’ll ever leave is an idol play which i think me and ryan have the only ones :)

I BEAT THE CURSE OF EIGHT. But Jones got voted out. So it’s a win/lose situation. She was determined on helping me get past eighth and it’s upsetting. But I gotta keep moving forward and do my best. Block Party was very tedious and I don’t know what’s considered a “good score” for this challenge but I completed it in 7 minutes which I think is pretty good.

so im just gunna be a psychic and hope this comes into fruitation or whatever the word is...

OK SO THIS VOTE GET OUT DAVID.. easy 4-3 lol

next vote.. bait tobi mo and ahrre into voting ryan, tell ryan to idol, we pref get ahrre out if possible..

then i PREF WIN F5 IMMUNITY AND BAIT all of them into votign tobi and i idol tobi... but if i dont win immunity im gunna prob use it on myself and be a selfish cunt lol

Just kidding it took me 11 minutes I don’t think I’m winning this

So last tribal was interesting. In theory my plan didnt change anything, however it couldve stopped a tie vote. Jones was close to Ahrre and Mo (maybe David?!). So she couldve easily chose to vote Ryan and sway them on board. My plan stopped this happening as she had no idea they were voting for Tobi.

Now I feel like I am still in a power position. I am inbetween Tobi, Ryan, Scott and Mo, Ahrre and David. I have to assess my options. I did lie to Mo, and Ahrre. So they may want to make a move against me. Where as Tobi, Scott and Ryan are the more safe trio but also more dangerous in that I wouldnt be able to beat one of them in the end.

Someone has idols too. So ANYTHING could happen. I need them to get burnt out soon. I CANT have a possibility of 4 IDOLS at final 5. Dani, Felix and Jones were all blindsided, so there may be a chance some idols laid there. However the merge one is likely still here. It was gone before jones left, and might be gone still. Meaning the idol is with someone else or wasnt re hidden.

My main goal in this round is to keep votes off me, get an idol possibly used and stay low. I didnt make a massivly obvious move, so my visiablity may still be low. I dont need a huge threat level, it makes getting to the end 100x harder.

Tobi snapped in immunity and tg he did bc David is finally vulnerable again <3 honestly it should be an easy vote considering ik our 4 wants David out bc he's so strong, and I doubt anyone else has an idol since me and Scott have 2.... so wigggg smooth sailing? i ain't gonna settle into comfortability tho bc that's never good

Ok so now I need to think about my end game. The only two people I’m not comfortable sitting next to FTC are Ryan and David. Ryan has been swerving eliminations and has gotten rid of several big threats. David is a comp beast and is also responsible for some big moves. So now you might be thinking, Mo? What’re you going to do? Lemme tell ya Barb. So my plan AT the moment. Is 7. David 6. Ahrre or Rhys 5. Ahrre or Rhys 4. Ryan And then final three will be Scott, Tobi and myself.

Winning immunity at this stage feels sooooooo damn good like especially for this round, this is the first time david has been open on the table after his immunity... and i feel like this is the round where advantages from the other side will be played and im glad im not vulnerable to whatever shit they throw at us... so like from a gameplay standpoint, me and scott have one of the best games currently (i think) with scott edging me slightly since he hasnt got any votes yet, but we're working together really well and like i feel like i can talk game to him really well... so the plan is that we take out david this round, we round up mo (idk about ahrre) for next vote and blindside ryan, and then from there we take out ahrre, and then me and him are in f4 with two goats. He wants to go to f3 with me while taking one goat (or so he says he does) but im gonna start making moves on scott at f4, if i can take out scott at f4 that leaves me a huge opening to take the game all the way till the end... but maybe i'm thinking too far ahead

Lowkey tho like... I kinda want ahrre out over david at this point... i feel like ahrre has built some sort of barrier in our relationship for no reason. like i've shown huuuge interest in working with him in the past, but he's just gone against me and even voted me last tribal in SPITE of me??? like??? everything he's done has landed him in the minority LMFAOOOOOOO LIKE get your head out of your ass and realize that i actually want to work with you!!! and like to get ryan out at f6 we're gonna need numbers and im not sure how comfortable i am with depending on mo to flip with us, the problem with telling ahrre is that hes soooo unpredictable like, he might just go and tell ryan everything me and scott are doing and then bam there goes everything... i understand wanting david out now since he's an immunity threat but thinking about all the blindsides I need to pull off like... I wanna keep david but I don't have numbers to keep him so I'll just have to bite the bullet on this one

So!! i lost challenge. again. lol xd

missus david and his ragtag bunch of misfits who dk how to Not piss everyone off are now deciding to vote me after unsuccessfully voting everyone else. (: BC THATS GUNNA WORK OUT FOR THEM.

like bitch.. work w/ the majority. they arent even TRYING. its lowkey kinda sad but its their own faults they put themselves in this position...

the tea is even tho i have my idol im only playing it @ f6/f5 OR if david idols. like. tobi/ryan def wont vote me and rhys will just follow ryan i think NNNN

wisj me luck x

Fuck. I have a really tough decision to make. I’d like to say I’m the swing vote but I don’t actually know 100%. I can choose to vote with David, Rhys and Ahrre or Ryan, Scott and Tobi. My main concern with this vote as a whole is jury management because I don’t want someone to leave unhappy with me but that’s really tough to do. I said previously my two concerns are David and Ryan when it comes to who I don’t wanna be sitting next to at FTC. A final four with David is scary because he’s a comp beast. A final four with Ryan is scary because he is super close with Scott and Tobi. This is a headache.

Well so last vote was funky dunky. So rhys sticked with the majority because he considered Jones to be a bigger threat than Tobi due to her connections.... Then the vote comes around and literally everyone lied to Jones about the vote LMAO.

So me mo and david followed thru with the tobi vote but it was to no avail, mainly because rhys not only flipped but he let him know I was gunning for him. Meanwhile the rest convicted Jones to vote me, probably by telling her some lie about how I was after her. While they all voted for her.

So there goes Jones and my no votes streak with her RIP. So after all of that I decided it was time for me to try and win imunity and while I was close Tobi just edged me the fecker.

So now we have an immune tobi and depend on rhys to flip for real this time. I hope he realizes that if he doesn't then everything is fucked but now it doesn't even depend on him. Since it's between Ryan and Scott and it's f7 the chances of an idol being played are high.

David is worried it might be him they're going after but idk anything could happen.

hmm so I've been busy today and haven't been talking with everyone. but i believe the tiffany alliance is still on the same page of voting David. i heard from Scott that the other 3 are voting him and they think Rhys is voting with them so that's interesting. i'm defintiely feeling safe, and i feel like Scott isn't going anywhere either so yayy final 6 here we go. I also talked with Scott about taking out Tobi sometime before final 3 because he's definitely a big jury threat, and he can definitely win immunities so if we get a chance to take him out we might hop on that. A final 3 of me/Scott/Rhys sounds pretty ideal and i think me or Scott would take home the win whew

david got another thing coming if he thinks he can idol me out... thats tea lol :)

So I lost the challenge yesterday...and yet I'm hearing that I'm not getting any votes tonight o.O which I don't believe for one second, cuz if they were smart, they would take me out tonight.

As I'm hearing...me, Mo, Ahrre and Rhys are gonna be voting for Scott, and Ryan, Scott and Tobi are voting Ahrre...because they think that I have the idol, LMFAOOO. WHICH IS TOO FUNNY OMG. I WISH I HAD THAT FUCKING IDOL, LOL.

Okay, so one side thinks Scott is going, One side thinks David is going. Meanwhile im in the middle lieing to half the tribe trying to stop an idol getting played to save my closest ally. Yeet.

Ok so according to rhys they're gonna be voting me since they're worried about david having an idol. But maybe that's just rhys playing the long con. Either way there's a sizeable chance I could be going home this week but hey third time's the charm amarite maybe this blindside will work once in for fucking all. Anyhow let's see how this thing goes.

David is voted out 4-3.

#royallyyours #episode

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