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i need to get unhealthily obsessed with something again
#last time i had my biggest period of artistic growth was when i had a jjba hyperfixation#i’d do that again but i’ve read most of the fics. alas
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anyway tell me something you’re obsessed with at the moment
okay i had to wait to answer this ask so i could tell you about something that isnt temeraire anfhsj ,, let me tell you about no home cus i spent two days last week binging the entire thing up to the current chapter n ive been periodically staring off into space thinkin about the characters since then. its insane its actually insane its also one of the best manhwas ive ever read. literally have no way to describe it other than in terms of madness because i dont understand how someone could write something this good?? what the hell. what
general premise is: two guys end up living in some old haunted house as part of a deal with their high school so they dont have to return to their houses with their family. the thing is that this is really not about the haunted house but its actually centred around these two and their complicated relationship — god their relationship is SO good; there’s no romance, theres plenty of fights, theres plenty of ‘i gotchu bro’ moments, someone in the comments described it like they are each others biggest haters and supporters and yeah that sums it up perfectly.
its also supremely stressful like i didnt think something thats so character-centred and not partocularly fantastical or thrillerish could stress me out this much but it did its so so tense. (edit: on second thiught, this is a drama. of course it would be tense. although i dont expect this level usually anyway so my point still stands) was literally curled up in bed clutching at my chest and scrolling at mach speed to get through it. and again thats cus of the main two’s relationship because theres so many ups and downs and its such good food i wish i could forget it and reread it all over again because i love this manhwa with all my heart wow,,
also when i say it’s character centred — no home is not only about the main two boys but it also explores the backstories of many side characters, and in all of them theres this running theme of being disconnected from your home or your family in different ways. like the title. there is a lot of heavy topics explored and all of it is so REAL like i cant imagine the amount of time and research poured into it because how the author/artist (i cant remember if theyre the same person oops) portray the issues and characters and relationships in this manhwa is so realistic and thoughtful. the characters too surprise you in different ways there is so much growth and personality in everyone its really so fun
finally the art is great !! its pretty cute and simplistic but i think its really, really good at conveying emotions. if u read it u will understand. the eyes
yeah SHOUTOUT TO HAEJOON GOH ^^^ (number 1 in my heart forever ! !!,!,!!)
#no home#yellow’s mailbox#nine the ninth#also shoutout to @ihavenobigbrain for reccing me this and sending me into brainrot hell i am forever thankful fr
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a year (or so) of fics, in retrospect
once every handful of years i remember to look back at the collection of projects i’ve finished recently and to simulate a critique as if i’m an art school student — and also as if i’m the haunted teacher’s assistant who wants to be gentle on the prof’s behalf but actually hates your work and also i am the other students who have been sitting there for seven hours straight and can’t offer much more except say, “it’s fine.” a one-man critique day, all parts played by me.
sometimes i do this and the last period of writing has been drier than a pizza slice left in the winter sun, but this time i’m lucky that these last couple of years have been the closest i’ve had to a writing pax romana.
with that said, i’m not entirely sure how valid i am whenever i think these days that my writing has gone through some drastic changes in the last year; i’m not even sure if it’s accurate to call any of it growth, though i’m aware it’s the sort of thing i won’t have a clear perspective on until a few years after the fact. but i do know that i’m lucky to have so many works to act as markers for different periods of my writing, and while it’s far from a sure method of evaluation, there are parts there that i’m able to at least assess, if not outright measure. in the last year or so, my fics have started mutating towards — not really a separate sort of output than my previous ones, but definitely older somehow. older and quite different because of it: stylistic choices i would have steered clear of before, failed and/or lacklustre genre explorations, even relationship dynamics that were previously unfamiliar territory. my most recent fic feels like a culmination of all my attempts at wrestling with my writing in the ring, and now that it’s a few weeks behind me and i get to look at it with fresh(er) eyes and accept that it’s my favourite child (i’m sorry flls... you’re not too far behind), it’s also reminded me that i have a now overdue fic roundup to write.
tangentially speaking, it’s interesting that you never really hear about self-taught writers. self-taught artists, yes, and self-taught musicians, but never quite self-taught writers. i don’t exactly purport to have taught myself everything i know about writing, and i know you can’t really be self-anything as a writer; what i lack in technique and finesse learned from proper writing classes, teachers, and/or workshops, i owe to the media i’ve consumed, good and bad, as well as to the creators i love and to all the thoughtful readers i’ve had over the years. if i’m self-taught in any way, then the self as a teacher was reared by countless others who have honed in me a limitless capacity to be an observer to stories, mine and all else.
this post is just a roundup of all my fics from december 2020 to january 2023, including only the ones with enough substantial content to write about, which disqualifies a lot of the fics i left at one or five scenes max but qualifies the ones i abandoned at one chapter. just a little something for me to reference as i figure out where to take my writing next and hopefully move towards some kind of ✨ growth ✨ lol
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FIRST LOVE, LATE SPRING december 2020 to march 2021, jujutsu kaisen trial element | dual pov romance, multimedia (?)
i covered a bit of the early chapters and conceptualization for flls in a separate post, but as i was reflecting on how to write a continuation, it occurred to me that if there’s a clear before and after to the current state of my writing, then the first portion of flls chapter five is where i’ll find it.
when i was drafting my 58393th version of that chapter — nothing was working, none of it was the right vibe i needed, most of them too detached or too on-the-nose but never the perfect middle — i happened upon trying second person pov by accident. i’m not the biggest fan of second person (though to be fair, i don’t think anyone is) but by that point i was so sick of writing and rewriting this one section and not getting anywhere that i wondered if i should just lean all the way into that disgust. why not do something i hated entirely? and act of desperation as that was, the moment i started writing in curt, nauseating second person, i knew it was the right choice.
the thing about writing flls!yuuji is that he felt both alive and unfamiliar. flls!megumi was easier to understand, even if he was trickier to write — but yuuji, i had to really work to get to know. one thing about him that i knew to be careful about from the very beginning of jjk is that it would be too surface level to think this boy is an extrovert. yuuji is usually painted as an energetic, sunny person, and i don’t think he’s not that, but there’s something about yuuji that’s also very internal and almost innately… isolated? i don’t know if that’s necessarily the right word, but there’s a lot about him as a character that’s out of view or grasp, which ironically i find people taking at face value. in flls, he required a lot more balance than megumi, who was a dam waiting to be relieved of its duties. flls!yuuji knows who or what he is — how could he not, when he’s never had a choice but to be this person, this kid who lost his grandpa, this kid who needs love but doesn’t know how to ask for it because he doesn’t even know there are forms of it he can ask for?
how to write a character like that? how to nudge someone who doesn’t reveal even at his most revealing towards the christmas eve fight i had set up in the beginning of flls chapter one? back before chapter six of flls came out, i saw a lot of people argue that megumi and yuuji just needed to communicate, and yes, of course they do, but i was also very adamant as i started chapter five that the real tragedy about them is that communication will do nothing in the end. even if they magically became master communicators about their needs and wants and insecurities, none of it will change the fact that neither of them are ready to love and be loved by the other person. at least not in any way that constitutes a relationship that feels like love.
i think that’s the key to writing the relationship in flls. it was never a question that they loved each other, and how much. never. this is probably the first piece of ~growth i appreciated about flls. it would be easy to write a romance where the main conflict is them not knowing the other loved them back, but flls got rid of that quite early. i left no room for doubt — or at least this is the hope — that flls!itfs loved each other in a way no one else would be able to compare to. they’re it for each other. but if it had been as simple as portraying that, then i never would have finished flls at all, and it definitely wouldn’t have been my longest fic at the time.
instead — what if it was a given that they loved each other, and it still wasn’t enough? what kind of story can we spin about that? what kind of questions and answers can we find?
that’s actually such a pretentious way to frame that, but the fact of the matter is that i needed to not waste space now that we’re five chapters in. this is the beginning of the end. how do we shift gears and take the tone of the entire story along with it? i don’t know if there’s something about second person pov that’s just inherently full of dread, but it did quite a bit of work in chapter five. it felt disembodying for me as a writer, and i could only hope the same for readers. i was really, really worried some people will give up reading altogether thinking all of chapter five will be in second person, but i didn’t want to compromise. it was going to be second person for most of their real relationship or nothing: vaguely dissociative, intensely drained, with no room to actually enjoy being each other’s boyfriend. the main challenge was to not go from zero to a hundred in a snap. i had the room to do so in only one chapter, but i had to find a way to keep a tight rein on the pace or else the whole fic will fail.
there also had to be love. and longing. and a desperation to make it work. i think that was yuuji in a nutshell — someone desperate to make it work, whatever this thing is. that’s what constitutes his strengths and his weaknesses, in canon and in flls. i wanted to find a way to make that palpable to a reader the way it was palpable to me while writing yuuji in second person. somewhere along making sure to tether myself to him by knowing what pieces of media he’d reference (high school musical and fullmetal alchemist) and his life outside of megumi (work, basketball, tea with nanami, skateboarding), i had to also drown with yuuji in the hope that the reader would follow. chapter three afforded me the luxury of only examining yuuji from the omniscience of a writer writing in third person — i could dismantle him through the therapy scene, could show myself and the reader a way to understand him, but i could not take us there to where he is.
i don’t know how successful the second person pov was, ultimately, though i’d be lying if i said it wasn’t what i thought was truly best at the time. it probably wasn’t that creative to anyone but me, but it gave me a nudge towards different ways to explore… vibes. atmosphere, maybe, is the more formal word for it. if not for the second person pov choice in flls, i wouldn’t have been nudged towards kamo’s newsletter to act as the midway point of the story, the last palate cleanser i’ll allow myself and the reader, and i never would have written please let me love you forever and days of brutalism and hairpin turns the way i did. i owe a lot to that tiny but crucial choice, as does flls as a whole. everything that followed that section — the fight, the aftermath of the fight, the breakup — relied on it to make themselves work, and it’s funny (and valuable to note) how it’s something as seemingly inconsequential as a pov choice that set the tone.
especially because there’s nothing special, really, about those following scenes. the christmas eve fight, megumi’s conversation in the car with geto, the break-up itself — all of it followed my standard flow of dialogue. sure, there’s more tension when you’re writing an argument, let alone when writing scenes that will inevitably lead to a break-up, but all scenes, particularly dialogue, have to feel fraught with some kind of energy and inevitable anyway. for the remainder of chapter five and six, i just coasted on the tone set up by the beginning of chapter five, and that’s knowledge that has served me quite well since. atmosphere goes a long, long way, and with my writing style, a healthy balance between dialogue and introspection will take me the rest of the way to the finish line. the part of flls that i’ve heard people find the most heartbreaking were also its simplest. all of chapter six is dedicated to one wedding, and chapter seven to one evening. i wish i could say there was a trick there, that i agonized over how to write such important scenes, but my personal takeaway is that there is no trick. the point is that you get the story to a point where those scenes write themselves; there’s nowhere else for the flow to go, and geto’s gentle unpacking of megumi, the last few scenes before megumi and yuuji break up, and the bittersweet reunion after two necessary years — i can only hope they carried a sense of “this is the only way it could have gone” the way they did for me. geto doesn’t tell megumi anything we don’t already know from earlier chapters, if only just now put into words. megumi and yuuji also don’t tell each other anything, in the breakup scene and the getting back together sections, that we haven’t already gleaned from them. from the moment kamo’s newsletter ended and we headed into act two — everything was just wrapping up what i left for myself.
it’s worth noting that i did try to complicate the final chapter a bit. i tried a split pov between yuuji and megumi at first, as a way to finally reconcile their two perspectives, but that felt too cheesy. i tried an outing to nagoya for nobara’s birthday, tried to divide the pov amongst the people in their lives (junpei, nanami, nobara, etc), and even to do my usual cyclical structure of starting with the same image we did in chapter two, this time in yuuji’s funabashi apartment — but those all felt too on the nose. i trusted my flls readers. maybe that’s what all it came down to. i trusted them to know these people, and this story, and i didn’t want to do too much and compromise that trust. and in the end, i would argue, returning to simplicity made the story what it was.
something i love to think about is how to explain my fics to others. i know it’s been said a lot that the ao3 tagging system has convinced a mini generation of writers that tags and names of tropes are all you need to pitch/be pitched a story, and i wholeheartedly agree. or i might just be terrible at advertising my work, with an obnoxious aversion to learning how to do it better to boot, but to be fair, i think my premises are all just as boring as they are ridiculous. flls is a college au with two friends with benefits turned fake boyfriends turned real boyfriends turned exes. that’s it. there’s nothing else in the plot but that. yet it’s a lot more to me than that, and sometimes that’s all you have when you send a story out into the world. the knowledge that it was briefly yours, and now it isn’t, but that doesn’t at all devalue what you’ve taken away from spending time with it.
US april 2021, jujutsu kaisen trial element | short form, childhood friends
this is one of a handful of attempts at writing a trope i don’t love all that much, inspired largely by the atmosphere in “horatio” by t.j klune. i was very conflicted about this fic when i first published it, primarily because it was so short and written in a sparse style i didn’t know how to evaluate, and partly because it didn’t feel substantial. in a post i’ve put on private since, i’d written:
what if i repeat the same themes in another context? that doesn’t make the theme carry any less weight as long as i put heart and sincerity and compassion into how i’m writing about it. there’s something that is equally as much self-deprecation as it is borderline vanity in me placing these rules upon myself. i’ve always known i wrote first and foremost out of love, out of what makes me excited to write — and that still applies here. i was thrilled to be able to experiment with a short, snappy fic. and that’s far more important, isn’t it, than whether i’m writing a different dissertation angle on love or friendship or family or career? it doesn’t feel like it, no, but it should, because i know it is. i know that what matters to me is that writing is fun and compassionate, and i know that as long as one person finds comfort in a world i’ve built, it’s enough.
i don’t sound very convinced there, and i wasn’t. i still don’t know what to make about us. i like that it’s short, and i endeavour to write more short fics with nothing specific or significant about them — but it’s hard to stomach its existence, let alone see it as something to love. it just feels so… not empty, but definitely less than what i’m used to asking from myself. it’s short, it’s sweet, it’s snappy. it’s also formulaic in its own sparse way, and i think it works because of the sweetness, but the truth is that if i hadn’t written it for itafushi week, i would never have greenlit it for publishing. i still wrestle nowadays with wanting to delete it, but it matters so little to me that i can’t even justify that much. it’s a weird limbo of a story, though i still hope to explore this kind of writing more in the future.
SOME KIND OF WE june 2021, jujutsu kaisen trial element | sequel to existing complete story
broke my own rules here by revisiting a story past its run, but to be very fair, it was less out of sentiment (though there was also that) so much as me startling at my first proper reread of the latter half of flls and realizing there are still unresolved arcs for megumi because the final chapter set two years later only had yuuji’s pov. not many of them, and none especially urgent, but i thought it would be a good opportunity to reorient the story to something quieter and more mature than what the central conflicts in flls left room for. i’m not convinced the back-and-forth between pieces of their recent few months being together and the present evening worked as seamlessly as i wanted it to, but it was still a nice opportunity to use a non-linear narrative to explore the growth and development of a relationship that i left at quite the bittersweet open-endedness. what was only delicately certain by the end of flls was made concretely certain through some kind of we, even if it did run a bit too sentimental and saccharine. but i think it can be forgiven, considering what yuuji and megumi went through in flls proper.
the main challenge of this fic was figuring out which portions of their life post-flls were worth including, and the first draft had five potential sections:
tokyo, for megumi’s first visit back after moving to chiba, mostly dedicated to him realizing that home — after being rooted for so long to this city, this one apartment with his dad, the same neighborhood and transit lines, to the gojo-geto household — now finally belongs somewhere else, with someone else.
funabashi, most of which was preserved in the version that was published.
sendai, to visit grandpa itadori’s grave, which i decided to streamline into a single scene at the end of the final some kind of we draft to cut away the excess and break it down to the core of why i wanted them to make this visit — which is to hammer home for yuuji that he isn’t alone anymore, that he has someone taking care of him and loving him without fail and with care, and to give megumi the agency to solidify, for his own sake, that he’s someone who means the whole universe to yuuji. enough that what place is his will always and solely be his, and enough that megumi will be allowed to love and take care of another person in a way that’s both eternal and an ever-evolving work in progress.
okinawa, for a trip that was only referenced as a backdrop in the final version but that i still like to think a lot about even now. a cc anon said once that the gojo-geto household must be so lonely with all the kids grown up, but as i talked about in another reply once (it’s too far back for me to have time to dig out at this point), i do love to imagine yuuji and megumi being uncles to the next generation, even if not outright parents themselves. sometimes you don’t know what you’re capable of giving as someone who was denied so much as a kid until you see someone so young, a stranger to the world, and know what to give them precisely because you didn’t have it once. and between yuuji not having much family and megumi’s life being complicated by the fact that he has too much family, i think they’re well-equipped to be uncles to tsumiki’s kids and beyond. and i was tempted for a bit to show this in the annual okinawa trips i mentioned in the final version of skow, but there just isn’t enough space without becoming superfluous.
kuantan, to visit nanami, mostly to reconsolidate the rather serious interaction megumi and nanami had in flls into something gentler, considering he’s still family to yuuji and while nanami might say yuuji doesn’t need his blessing, yuuji will want it anyway. i never did end up writing this part, so it’s not exactly canon to the au and i’m hesitant to make it so, but the idea was to end with megumi asking for both nanami’s blessing and help to propose to yuuji on that malaysia trip.
the end result for this fic was a little lesson for me in cutting and cutting and keeping my hand light on the source, until i’m left with what i consider necessary. the final version of some kind of we is more a collection of vignettes than a straightforward account of megumi and yuuji’s life together post-flls, which i found much more strangely fitting. i feel like i spent so much of flls trying to get them to a point where they’re ready to be with each other, and i just wanted to dedicate skow to them not just making it work but building love on top of the foundations they secure. it’s one thing to portray that through a whole fic dedicated to each milestone; it’s another to write ordinary moments that are made extraordinary because they have chosen that for and with each other. neither of them say i love you out loud in the entire fic, but i wanted there to be no doubt that they do say it. that they do love each other, and that this part isn’t the obstacle it used to be. they’re just some kind of them, together, and this time it doesn’t feel bittersweet for me to send them off to the world for good knowing there’s love falling out of the spaces between each vignette i wrote.
HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND october 2021, jujutsu kaisen trial element | fantasy au
yikes. one of two fics in this round-up that i abandoned at chapter one. started this because an idea occurred to me while reading the atlas six, wrote until i had to stop, then didn’t look back once even when it would have served me to.
i flew too eagerly close to the sun with this one, truly, but as far as intentions go, i think both my mind and heart were in the right place. it’s quite clear where this one went wrong: i had neither time nor the energy to dedicate to it; i started it on the same whim i start most other things but this time didn’t have the passion for it — and i confess i just didn’t have the patience required to work on writing the story i wanted to write.
it was also one of those lessons in how often big ideas — or an attempt at them — cannot sustain a story. i had what i thought were clear ideas and intentions about the themes i wanted to cover in this one (the downfall of religious devotion, reconstruction, academic institutions versus personal/individual responsibility, all of which just look like buzzwords now that i’m typing them out, omg), but it just didn’t leave room for the kind of story i like to write. i guess my main takeaway here is that the pitfall of high(er) concept genre stories is that you have to make space for the world at the cost of room for character writing; it’s just the nature of how much space in the narrative you can allot for each individual aspect of the story, and with stuff like fantasy and sci-fi, the worldbuilding takes up a significant amount more than your run-of-the-mill slice of life story where the only world i have to worry about sketching is where someone lives and works.
i do like some parts? it’s kind of crude, how i tried to reconcile my writing style with genre-specific bits, but it’s not all terrible. this sequence is alright:
Megumi was seven the first time he restored something.
Every part of it had been an accident, and he remembers it now only in fragments. The wet rag in his hand as he wiped down the dining hall tables, having to climb the chairs to get to each corner. The horrible echo of something shattering in the kitchen, where Tsumiki had been tasked to do all the dishwashing for the evening. The panic on her face when Megumi got to her, both of them crowding around the shards of ceramic left by what was once a plate. The spill of harsh candlelight from above the sink, the harsher shadows it sent dancing around the broken glass.
But he does remember the remembering. The knowing of what the plate had looked like once, the image behind his eyes anchoring him in place as he latched onto the curl of the shadows on the floor. It would be more intuitive, more rudimentary, than anything he’d learn to do later in life, propelled by the worry on Tsumiki’s face and the footsteps he swore he could hear coming towards them from the other end of the servants’ quarters they called home back then—but it had taken only a single blink for the shadows to cover the plate, tighten around it into darkness, and then retreat to where they were, leaving a clean, untouched plate in the middle of the kitchen floor.
it could be better, but it still could be worse. and i do like the overall architectural imagery and how i managed to scrounge up some standard fare coziness somewhere in the cold, almost-medieval setting.
as far as disastrously failed ventures go, this one could be a lot more embarrassing than it is. i’m not mad at it. it’s far from good enough, and if i didn’t write it in such a frenzy, i probably never would have allowed it to be published. but. it’s a useful failure.
PLEASE LET ME LOVE YOU FOREVER march to june 2022, blue period trial element | five-character gen dynamic, multimedia
what a... headache of a project. bit off more than i could chew without choking and decided to take even more bites each new chapter because why the hell not, apparently. i do appreciate how un-edited this fic is, despite it all. it feels the most bleeding-heart of all my fics from this past year or so, and it’s nice to look back at this and know exactly when i shifted my approach to it altogether because, again, why not. it’s such a valuable “why not?” to have. it’s nice when i don’t feel quite as… under surveillance? when writing a story. and i get to just go off the rails a bit. a lot, actually, with this one. it’s nothing crazy because i don’t think i can write anything crazy (though i think hairpin turns had blinks of it), but there’s definitely plenty of choices that i’m surprised i decided on with a sober mind.
to be fair, they weren’t exactly mindblowingly successful. if i were to rate this fic out of five, despite all my fondness for it, i’d maybe give it a 2.75. it’s a well-earned mark, and i have a special soft spot for people who have read it, but i’m not mentally proud of it. emotionally so, maybe, in whatever way i can be, but if this fic didn’t feel so intimate with a much cozier readership and comment section, i’d be a lot crueler to it than i am, i think. as it is, it makes for wonderful conversation and reflection for me, and it’s always fun to consider how a story about a disbanded idol group became a metaphor for childhoods lost to growing up too fast and also involved alternate universes.
but cycling through five povs really is too much, i think, and if it was exhausting for me to write then i imagine it was just as exhausting to read. a nicer alternative would have been to stick to one pov for each chapter, but even that was a lot to juggle considering there were also smaller dynamics going on in the background with each character. within the core group of five alone, there were thirty-one variations of scenes to write, including individual introspection and pairs — and that’s not to take into consideration trios, or groups of four or the whole five plus a secondary character, for example. i don’t know how i pulled off my usual character study here. i don’t know if i did.
another thing about this fic is that i’m still not sure why a time loop didn’t work. i wanted it so badly to work. i thought it would be fun, but i guess time loops aren’t necessarily compatible with prose. there’s something about repetition and looping that’s best visually, but even if i had been able to stick to imagery and vibes, it would have gotten tedious at some point for me and a reader considering the quantity/length i tend to need. just something to keep in mind if i get the urge to keep trying time loops in future works and wonder why it’s not sticking seamlessly. as with a lot of things in life, if you have to force it then maybe it’s not meant to be there. or maybe you have to go shortform, narrow down the playing field?
one thing i’d commend this fic for is how it managed to unpack so much between dynamics that barely exist in canon. that, and how it managed to pack so many formats into one story — song lyrics, album reviews, tweets, a play, nonfiction, a profile, wikipedia pages, messages, i don’t even know how many more — while maintaining a semi-cohesive tone throughout. there was a lot of fun there, in figuring out how to adapt your typical characterizing to a format you haven’t tried before: how would kuwana write a preface to hashida’s book? would this particular character include rhymes in their song lyrics, or are they more of a diaristic stream of consciousness kind of lyricist? what medium best translates this character’s personality? what medium best conveys this dynamic’s under-the-skin knowing of each other? who sees more than the others, and how can i show that without using the same structure of two or three characters talking in a setting that doesn’t change?
my favourite part is probably the fake album review at the top of chapter four? there’s something giddying about the research-like quality of figuring out how to perfect the tone that music reviewers tend to default to, but also sobering about how easily adapted this fake idol group’s history is from real life. the easiest part of the entire fic was making this group feel real to me, situated in the real life history of j-idols and beyond, even if i admit to shying away from being explicit about the worst things that would still have been grounded in reality. some references to real life idol incidents worked a little too well, but there was also how clean it felt to spin fictional lore for this group in that fake album review. from their individual songwriting styles to tobi’s own background in-story to the kind of themes and concepts a faux pretentious pitchfork reviewer might like to talk about — it was just incredibly fun. i don’t know when else i’d get the chance to write something like that. everything else paled in comparison to it soon after, though i do also tolerate whatever my writing was doing at the end of chapter five, even if some parts of that chapter also feel lacklustre through a hypercritical lens. it doesn’t hold up under extremely rigorous scrutiny, even if i consider the fact that i’d just wanted the fic wrapped up as soon as i could at the time. it could be better, more so than all the other fics in this post could be better. but i don’t mind too much that it isn’t better. i mind it a little. just a little. but its flawedness is also what forced the multimedia format to happen in the first place, and that, i like a lot.
there’s a fair amount that this fic did quite more than alright, i think. if nothing else, it was useful as a playground that i didn’t have to be too finicky about. it will be one of those projects i’ll look back at someday and laugh deliriously over because how did i think that was the only way to make it work, but with the facilities i had at the time, it’s definitely not a shitshow. it has a lot of heart — which doesn’t necessarily redeem awful works, but in passable ones, those parts of the writing meet each other halfway. please let me love you forever holds its own weight, which is plenty more than i can say for most of my other experiments. plus it contains a background relationship that is not at all the focus of the story yet will probably haunt me forever. it’s always the ones you least expect to matter that will ripple further down the line, etc.
LOSER TAKES ALL july 2022, tomodachi game trial element | soulmates, mystery au
another unpublished little guy left to rot at one complete chapter. i don’t really have any huge problems with this one, just that i tired of its demands very quickly and didn’t have enough attachment to the dynamics in it to muster up any motivation for. but tomodachi game, and especially yuuichi and kei, are so uniquely positioned for a fic like this, and i don’t resent past me for approaching it this way at all. is a soulmate bond that fosters a telepathic link between people who come back from a brush with death kind of an unhinged premise for a mystery au? yes. but so is remodeling a breakfast restaurant with my mom and the guy i didn’t know confessed to me in high school and who is now literally displaced in more ways than one by said remodeling, and even also acting is all i know so here i am trying to find the love of my life by dating anyone for an entire month on a first come first serve basis only to be shocked when that doesn’t work.
again. boring yet equally ridiculous elevator pitches. if i cemented anything for a fact from this abandoned wip, it’s that my premises have always been questionable, and that time and time again, the only path forward is to lean all the way into it — which i did with hairpin turns, thankfully. hand in unlovable hand and loser takes all are apart by about a year, and there’s palpable change here in my approach to worldbuilding even if i abandoned each for unrelated reasons. granted, i might just be better suited to one side of speculative fiction than the other, but that’s such a copout. when it comes to trying new things in writing, the “if he wanted to, he would” logic applies, even if the he in question ultimately finds that it doesn’t work the way he wants it to (like in hand in unlovable hand).
loser takes all worked fine for me, and i loved the inherent intimacy in having two incredibly smart and perceptive characters in each other’s minds while trapped in this soulmate bond that isn’t necessarily romantic. not to mention yuuichi is a deeply unwell person, and his ways of showing attachment to kei range from drastically protective, such as offering to fire the receptionist that was rude to kei, to:
Sometimes, watching Kei asleep right against him, Yuuichi wants to press his lips against Kei’s pulse. To feel it warm and alive under his mouth, to hear that little sigh of ticklish laughter Kei does if someone so much as runs a soft cloth against his neck.
And sometimes—sometimes Yuuichi is also seized by a strong thought, a strong urge, to sink something sharp into that pulse. His teeth, a fork, a shard of broken glass. Sink it in hard, deep enough to leave a bloody bruise, a scar, a puncture. Hard enough to maybe even sever that heartbeat, to tear it, slit it into silence somehow. Hard enough that it feels almost the kinder choice to imagine himself wrapping his hands around Kei’s neck—tightening them without hesitation, itself a mercy of a kind as the blood quickly drains out of Kei’s cheeks. Yuuichi imagines then how Kei will struggle, whether he’ll kick or bite Yuuichi, if he’ll reverse their positions with one twist of a martial arts trained body, or if he’ll just accept it, resign himself to it knowing that not even this, if it’s Yuuichi, could possibly be meaningless.
But it would be. It would be meaningless to kill Kei. Meaningless because Kei is singular in his position within Yuuichi’s life, loyal and intelligent and a force to be reckoned with like no one else is, not even Yuuichi’s sister, not even the only friend he trusts most. Meaningless because every time Yuuichi pictures it, every time he wonders if he’ll have it in him to press two killer’s hands around Kei’s neck, it doesn’t take long for the accompanying sting to come like a splash of boiling water on exposed skin. A kind of scolding, a kind of reminder, that just as much as it would be difficult for anyone to kill Kei—so impervious to physical harm, whose broken bones and bleeding wounds will always heal even if he jumps off a twenty-story building—it would be just as difficult for Yuuichi to do him harm and survive it without any damage done to his own heart at his own hands.
the temptation to keep writing this is not entirely absent, to be honest. but a mystery takes care and attention, and i just don’t have that in me the way this story deserves. but this fic was delicious to write, and i think it gave me a hunger to write more dynamics that feel just as juicy. dynamics that aren’t necessarily geared towards healthy love, but ones that ooze if poked anyway.
i definitely want to revisit the telepathy plot device i explored here someday, but for now, this fic, abandoned wip as it is, is kind of the goldilocks midpoint between failed venture (hand in unlovable hand), almost-passable venture (please let me love you forever), and basically there if being there counts taking your literal first baby step into a new frontier (days of brutalism and hairpin turns).
HONORARY MENTIONS
i don’t mean to ignore the canonverse fics (here and where you are, i’ll give you something so real, detour, and the two manhwa fics, that is) out of favouritism, but i’m afraid there’s nothing much to say…? not that these weren’t lessons in themselves, but canonverse takes a quarter of the energy and brainpower to write, and i’ll be lying if i don’t go about them essentially all no thoughts, head empty. i talked a bit about here and where you are here, while the logic for detour, which i was happy to write for and based on exchanges with a friend, is pretty self-explanatory. i did love getting to write a character like loid (and i’m relieved that the chapters that follow the ones i took into consideration for that fic hold up the characterization i imagined for him) + it was interesting to give sexual content and the philosophy of desire or whatever a shot in i’ll give you something so real. they were effective at what i needed them to do — which is, really, just to check the temperature of the water. i always feel so rusty when any amount of time passes without me writing, and these small, low-maintenance fics work as a burst of ice cold water before jumping in. i don’t value these fics any less for their place in The Process, and i might even be extra happy when someone likes them, but as far as Advancing The Craft 🤢 goes, all of these are simply necessary bridges to get to the next checkpoint. sometimes you gotta scratch the tip of the pen before the ink starts bleeding like it’s supposed to. words are the same. it takes a while each time to get my writing to a place i recognize, and sometimes a while is an entire fic before i can write the next chapter for an ongoing multi-chaptered story.
(that said: shoutout to the particular flavour of introspection in detour, within which my favourite line was written the literal minute before i sent it off, and a big heart emoji for the fact that i’ll give you something so real unfolds in a span of barely half a day. both are very interesting to think about moving forward.)
DAYS OF BRUTALISM AND HAIRPIN TURNS january 2023, blue lock trial element | a romantic triad, sci-fi, memory loss (finally!)
my angel. my darling. my love. who is far from being perfect but is the closest i’ve had to at least being sure i won’t just wake up one day loathing the soul out of it. i’ll laugh at it, probably. i’ll think it’s hilarious and cringy someday soon. but it’s a work i can’t not appreciate wholeheartedly.
my cc tells me that the first time i put it on record that i won’t mind doing a blue lock fic is may 16, 2022, and the fact that i didn’t even make it a year and did so in the most Hard To Pitch If This Was An Actual Novel And Not Just A Fic For Fun way possible is worth at least a salute of disbelief, i think. my journal from my writing hiatus also tells me i’ve been trying to make memory loss work since 2020 and managed to scratch the itch minutely with here and where you are (which is… a pretty janky piece of work, looking back now) — but i’m just really, really content, even proud, of how i managed to weave it into a fic adapted from a story about football battle royale.
it’s almost kind of unnerving how satisfied i am with the premise of hairpin turns, even if the execution leaves quite a bit to be desired — as it always will, really, and therein is the joy of finding the next writing project. i laughed a lot at myself while writing hairpin turns, and of all the inside jokes that my works started as, this one is by far the fic to feel most like it — a fun little joke that got funnier and funnier the more of it i wrote, and so i wrote more, chasing that laughter until it was time to catch my breath. and i think with how much i require writing to feel urgent and single-minded to be fun, there’s a part of me that’s easily... bored, for lack of a better word, when something doesn’t give me that. without this fast-paced almost-violence, i get bored and restless, the way i was around all the projects i had lined up after please let me love you forever. i’m making a face as i type that but maybe i just mean to say that there were a good few months there where nothing scratched the itch in need of stimulation. i’d write scenes and they wouldn’t be awful, wouldn’t even be bad, but they weren’t exciting to me. they weren’t thrilling. they didn’t feel like i was dissecting anything, just poking at skin with a scalpel and rolling my eyes when i didn’t draw blood from a dead body — you know?
but projects have an uncanny way of arriving in your life when you most need it, and just when i have peeled and replaced my wallpaper and assembled and reassembled my keyboards and poked at this manuscript i refuse to rewrite until i did a warm-up that felt substantial enough, the blue lock anime started airing. i knew vaguely what dynamics i wanted to write even back when i had only the manga, but i know i could not have tortured this fic out of me then. not before please let me love you forever, not before loser takes all, not even before all my failed attempts at pitching speculative fiction stories to myself at 3 AM and gritting my teeth at my own disgust. the best aus fall into your lap fully formed and fully realized before you even know what you’ll be shaping it into; they’re a little predestined that way, and aus might be why i owe fanfiction my certainty that the author is just as possessed by the narrative if the narrative has its own pace and direction. i think that’s logic that should be applicable to original projects as well.
i did hesitate in the very beginning of hairpin turns because sci-fi was such a huge deviation from my comfort zone and i have the misfortune of being both a taurus sun and an enneagram type five. i’ve never tried writing proper sci-fi, not even a little, let alone enough to be comfortable with knowing where to start something that wasn’t merely regular slice of life with a slight sprinkling of specfic. i was sure my writing style wouldn’t be a good match for it. i still don’t think it’s a match, necessarily. my prose is a bit too sentimental for some of the demands sci-fi asked of me — and that’s fine. i wouldn’t know the precise nature of that incompatibility if i hadn’t jumped into the pool of sharks and came out of the tank somehow, disbelievingly, friends with them. i began wary of relying too much on technobabble since i’m not exactly the most stem-oriented person around, but even the background of this au wrote itself, half because blue lock was a shockingly perfect match for the world i had in my mind and half because i found that the technology i imagined for the plot was both possible and easy to break down into the narrative. even now i’m still shocked at how scientifically sound the core pitch of the story is, and the fact that it married itself well to both the overarching plot and the character dynamics i wanted to highlight was just icing on a cake i would have tried to politely finish anyway.
it could very well be that hairpin turns is just a fluke, its parts too seamlessly glued to each other that i’m not sure it could have been anything else except luck doing the work there, but i think there’s also credit to be found in how nothing is sacred in blue lock. these are characters who have done ridiculous things and said ridiculous things, and it was a matter of matching their energy. therein is the same lesson from loser takes all: if i’ve always known that characters decide the pace, tone and atmosphere of the story and everything else in it, then doesn’t it also go to say that in order to write a story far out of my comfort zone, i need only start with characters far outside of my comfort zone?
i think with au fics in particular, a lot of the work begins with justifying why certain things are in character for them in this universe based on what we know from canon. but because those boundaries are expanded by what blue lock innately is, it doesn’t feel as weird to posit something like, what if you and your android bf get tasked with rescuing his older brother’s android bf and find out along the way that you might also both be in love with your childhood best friend? as with most other of my initial ideas, this quickly spiraled into something significantly different — which luckily for me included the memory loss idea that i’ve been wanting to explore for forever now. proper sci-fi was the perfect backdrop for it, and bachira the perfect person to willingly do it, and isagi and rin the perfect people to be left in the aftermath of that loss. stars aligned, truly. i’m incredibly grateful for it.
whatever challenges i encountered writing this fic had nothing to do with writing it. it was as smooth to write as it was an absolute pain to edit, because the three povs are so vastly different from each other, and with no outline to mentally check each time i add a new scene, i was reliant on going back and forth again and again to make sure the worldbuilding is cohesive and the plot is coherent. at some point i couldn’t look at it anymore, and it might even be a testament to how much i appreciate the fic that i still can’t look at it now yet cannot deny how fond i am of the final result.
with sci-fi in particular, it really is a case of faking it till you make it, and whatever lies don’t feed into each other, you can always revisit and adjust later. that’s the common sense magic of fiction, i suppose. there’s a degree of patience i held onto writing hairpin turns that i wouldn’t have had with any other previous work, and i think it benefited me more to have all three chapters written in varying increments, out of my usual linear order, than publishing it chapter by chapter. i had all the room to experiment — what does the world look like in 2070? is 2070 even the right year to set this in? is there anything big happening around that time period? how does the lingo change in the time between present and this potential future? when i run into things that feel too out of my depth to write, like isagi’s pov for instance, do i actually have a justification for saying no other than how it will be easier than trying? are there benefits to giving bachira the final chapter that i’m being biased against because i think it would be a challenge? and between all of these choices, how do i adapt existing blue lock canon, from their playstyles to the favourites listed in the egoist bible, to worldbuilding in other forms of media that i’ve always wanted to try a different approach to?
i used to think it was unnecessary and superfluous to go into writing something while getting bogged down by stray facts about characters, in both fic and original projects, but at the same time, it’s truly the tiny details that will humanize more than knowing a character’s birthday or what traumatic events lie in their backstory. tiny details that breed more tiny details, until it’s about the fact that bachira and isagi are childhood friends in this au yet when we meet bachira again he’s calling isagi by last name, or how rin understandably questions the validity of his own humanness because we can only assume sae had recreated him in grief or defiance against mortality or whatever other emotion that we’ll never know for sure because we only ever see sae in this fic through rin, and that matters a lot more than if i gave sae a pov — and yet rin manages to love through the small things, in how the warehouse is in an eternal sunset waiting for bachira to return to him and isagi. it’s about how first love, late spring was about learning how to love someone else the way they need you to when you weren’t loved the way you needed to be, but hairpin turns is about how spending your whole life never questioning if you were loved can rob you of the facilities to put a name and shape to what you feel for someone who’s always been in your life. the things you don’t take for granted, necessarily, but you do love for granted by not calling it love.
hairpin turns is about the pieces obscured from view and all the more present because of it. it’s about lost memories, the phantom outline of a person like a haunting. it’s about how sae never once appears in a direct scene yet he looms over rin’s existence. it’s about how rin’s chapter represents the past, isagi’s the present and bachira’s the future, but time matters little in the end — how could it weigh any more, in a story about memory? it’s about the uneasy momentary peace that’s the only scene we can count on as a happy ending. it’s about the lengths you’ll go to get the chance to be ordinary about your love, even if all else about it is unconventional.
and yet above all, what i like best about this fic is that it works towards questions that feel like being given answers. some of my other fics try to provide answers to its characters and the readers they resonate with, to give them a way to be well-equipped to move forward, while a few other fics settle on non-answers because uncertainty is the only ending there is. but hairpin turns moves outward only to ask more questions, questions that are the answers and the thesis, yet in a way that isn’t strictly open-ended. and i have no fucking clue how i managed it, but this feels like the target i’ve been itching to catch sight of this entire time. this is the kind of story and process i would like to aspire to this year, and even though it had taken me 80k to glean what i needed from it, i’m glad i stayed with this fic as a warm-up.
anyway. this got a bit away from me, and who knows, maybe this level of pretentiousness is only because i’m still riding the high of affection for my most recent brainchild to make it to college — but i’m not totally blind to the flaws in hairpin turns. the execution of the ending itself is clunky, not because it doesn’t resolve anything but because it does, and by then, the post-rescue section has gone on for long enough that even an ending feels like an epilogue. the story overall lacks complete confidence in what it is, with some parts shadowed by a slight hovering hesitation and others weighed down by a heavy hand showing too much kindness to my non-confidence. it’s never too heavy-handed, and definitely not so much that i’ll send it to the bin, but enough that if i want something to pick apart, there are stray choices hiding in places that i’d circle as an editor for feeling too sentimental, or the tone too dissonant with the pacing, or, ironically, not explored enough. in the genre i’m used to writing, the adrenaline rush is in finding the right balance within a new choreography for a dance style i know well, but in my first real foray into speculative fiction, i think i was just trying to find my footing the whole time. i’m still surprised i made it to the other end of the tightrope, honestly. i didn’t expect to applaud myself for the bare minimum, and i still don’t.
but all of this is a lesson for me, too. what i do know is that it’s interesting to tell a story about what’s missing, about the unsaid and the unseen, and if that’s what it will take for me to rediscover excitement in what i write so that i don’t have to sink back into the ennui of these last couple of months, then that’s a pretty darn fun goal to spend the rest of the year unpacking.
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Royalties on "Don't Stop The Music" and 79 other tracks
Royalties on Rihanna's song, "Don't stop the music", along with 79 other tracks, are up for sale.
You'll find this information on Royalty Exchange, the biggest music royalty marketplace in the world.
Here's an excerpt of the list of tracks:
I believe that this is an investment that would pay off over the years. However, it's risky.
Earnings for the past 12 months total to about $4,200.
The bulk of the earnings came from streaming, followed by performances.
By far, the biggest earner is "Don't stop the Music" by Rihanna.
International earnings outstrip the domestic (US-based) earnings. I wonder about that breakdown.
But this particular sale covers all publishing royalties, not just international or domestic royalties.
I asked Claude what was the break even point.
Here was my prompt: Claude, assuming that I wanted to purchase the publishing royalties for a catalogue of songs, at the price of $56,000. The annual earnings for the past 5 years (2018 to 2022) are $2,622.34, $4,010.70, $3,123.44, $4,534.55, $4,214.00. When do you think I would break even? Would these songs increase in earnings over time?
This was his answer:
Okay, let's break this down:
Purchase price of publishing rights: $56,000
Annual earnings last 5 years: 2018 - $2,622.34 2019 - $4,010.70 2020 - $3,123.44 2021 - $4,534.55 2022 - $4,214.00
To calculate the break even point, we take the purchase price and divide it by the average annual earnings:
Average annual earnings = (2622.34 + 4010.70 + 3123.44 + 4534.55 + 4214) / 5 = $3,701.01
Break even time = Purchase price / Average earnings = $56,000 / $3,701.01 = 15.13 years
So at the current average earnings rate, it would take approximately 15 years to break even on the $56,000 purchase price.
As for whether the earnings will increase over time - that depends on a few factors:
General music industry trends and popularity of the songs/artists
Revenue from new distribution channels like streaming
Potential for the songs to be used in movies/ads etc.
Ongoing promotion and marketing of the catalog
Given the variability in music industry earnings, it's difficult to predict if revenues will steadily increase each year. Safest assumption is they continue around current average, with some growth potential.
In summary, break even period is around 15 years at current earnings rate. Earnings could potentially increase with industry growth and wider distribution.
I was amazed.
I asked Claude another question: Why would an artist want to sell his or her publishing royalties, when he or she could earn royalties over a long period of time?
Answer:
There are a few reasons why an artist might want to sell their publishing royalties even though they could earn income over a long period of time:
Immediate lump sum payment - The artist gets a large, one-time payment they can use now, instead of waiting for small payments over many years. This provides capital they can re-invest or use to fund new projects.
Avoid hassle of managing royalties - Managing publishing rights and collecting royalties can be administratively burdensome. Selling the rights means the artist doesn't have to deal with it.
Long term value is uncertain - Future royalty streams are never guaranteed due to changes in industry, popularity, etc. The artist may want to take the definite lump sum now.
Opportunity cost - The artist may believe they can make better use of the capital if they had the lump sum now to invest in their career or other business opportunities.
Tax implications - Receiving a lump sum could have different tax advantages compared to long term royalty payments.
Estate planning - The artist wants to realize the value now as part of planning their estate and legacy rather than leaving it to heirs.
Changing priorities - Many artists want to move on from old work and focus on new projects. Selling rights provides a clean break.
So in summary, while giving up long term royalty rights has a cost, there are good reasons an artist may prefer the flexibility, convenience, and control provided by a lump sum payment now. The choice depends on the artist's financial situation and career objectives.
That is a smart answer.
Well, it is one thing to be a musician, but to be a music mogul, i.e. a rich music entrepreneur, you need to be astute.
And sometimes that means taking profits up front.
Meanwhile, if anyone out there is considering investing into music, I think real estate might yield better returns.
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(June 13, 2022, Words by Emily Carter)
Full interview below:
“We’d just come from our first headline tour in America – we were in a van, it was winter, it was fucking freezing…” Awsten Knight tells Kerrang! today, “and I was probably in the top-three most sick I’ve ever been. We finished a show in Florida, got on a plane immediately and I couldn’t fucking breathe, and we went straight to the venue that night. I just couldn’t sing no matter what I tried – I couldn’t fucking speak.”
The frontman is currently recounting this depressingly underwhelming moment as he strolls around a random truck stop in Germany, as the band gear up for the biggest UK and European run of their career: the See You In The Future tour. As fate would have it, it includes a stop in Brixton.
Bumping into drummer Otto Wood nearby on his German wander, Awsten lets his bandmate continue their woeful 2017 tale.
“He was very sick, and the rest of us just hadn’t slept,” Otto remembers. “And then there would be all these strangers walking by, and I don’t even know if they had any affiliation with the venue, but they would walk by and be like, ‘Lotta history in this room!’ ‘This is the big one!’ ‘There’s a lot of people out there, huh?!’”
“I’m not even kidding, like five different people walked by and just said shit like that,” Awsten groans. “And we were just like, ‘Stop!’ But Otto had to sing that show, and I just played guitar – I would try to hype people or whatever, but it was miserable (laughs). It sucked so bad!”
This time around, though, Waterparks are headlining the whole damn place – and, as Awsten promises, it will surely be a moment of triumphant “redemption”. Armed with brilliant new single FUNERAL GREY, and all the songs from last year’s Greatest Hits which have only been played in the UK a handful of times since release, it’s got all the makings of an incredible night.
Here, we catch up with Awsten on all things Greatest Hits, FUNERAL GREY, and what to expect from the See You In The Future tour…
It’s been a year since the release of Greatest Hits. How do you reflect on that whole time period?
“It’s kind of hard to! But, as I take a moment to try and reflect for maybe the first time (laughs), I think it’s crazy because I feel like everybody who put out an album in that time kind of feels strange, or has some conflicting feelings about it. It’s hard to hear those songs and not think about the fact that nobody was at their best during 2020, obviously. It’s hard not to tie those things together, but that album did really grow us a lot. I mean, you have to be thankful, otherwise you’re just ungrateful! You don’t get a lot of tangibles as an artist, but when you can see Spotify numbers or tickets sold in a city has all gone up because of that album, then it’s like, ‘Okay cool, that’s a great thing.’ A lot of people took steps back or even called it quits in that time, but actually I think we owe a lot to Greatest Hits that I can’t see yet.”
So you can’t quite tell the real-world impact of the album?
“Yeah, everyone’s finding out what it’s translating to right now. But our Spotify numbers were less than half of what they were before Greatest Hits! Going into this tour I’ve been trying to look at numbers less because normally I obsess over them, but I glanced at them the other day for the first time in a while and it was like, ‘Oh, cool!’ All the UK dates are more people than we’ve ever had, so even though I know touring is kind of a strange thing right now and everybody’s sort of uneasy, there’s still that growth for us – and we’re really lucky, because I feel like that’s been a consistent thing for us, throughout all of the weirdness!”
Your first post-Greatest Hits single, FUNERAL GREY, came out at the same time that My Chemical Romance released their first new music in years, The Foundations Of Decay. But it doesn’t feel like that impacted the release of your single?!
“Dude, not at all! FUNERAL GREY was our biggest first week of streams, by far. I was like, ‘Holy shit!’ It hit a million in four and a half days. There obviously are moments where you’re like, ‘Oh man, how do I compete with that?!’ But you have to remind yourself that we’re not competing with that. We’re in completely different leagues, obviously – they’re just legends. And so the way I looked at that was that we’re not competing; if anything, we’re fucking friends. And I think it’s just cool when great music can come from bands, no matter what. That’s the bottom line of what matters.”
That feels like a very healthy approach…
“It’s taken a fuck-load of therapy, and time, and hitting my head against the wall! Knowing the numbers is good; obsessing over them, not so much. It just distracts you from creating more stuff that people would enjoy, or would make me feel fulfilled.”
Before release, you teased the single on TikTok, and obviously in the past few weeks there has been a lot of discourse online, with Halsey saying their label wouldn’t release their new music without a viral moment on TikTok. What’s your relationship with promoting things and social media?
“It kind of depends on the day! But no matter how healthy or unhealthy I am with it between what day it is, I think the most important thing is that I see it for what it is, and I understand that that’s part of it. I think I’m blessed and cursed enough to have spent so much fucking time online that it’s kind of natural. And, you know, not being cool growing up in school, it gives you a sense of humour and you’re able to laugh at yourself. A lot of those TikToks that do well are kind of self-deprecating, and I think that being able to find the humour in things, and laugh at yourself – but not so much that it’s like pissing your pants (laughs) – it’s just another medium that’s becoming more necessary to put yourself out there. I would love to be able to be less online, and I kind of have been less online lately, but it’s important to put what you need to out there and do what you have to do, but you don’t have to be drenched in it all the time.”
On to the song itself: what made FUNERAL GREY the first thing to show people after Greatest Hits?
“Honestly, there were so many songs that we were stuck between! A lot of the time I’ll have a very clear idea of, ‘I want to do this, and then this, and then this…’ – and I still do have a lot of those specifics, but as far as what came first, I just knew that, where Greatest Hits was very introverted and kind of dark, I wanted something that was the exact opposite; I wanted something that made me feel good. Another deciding factor was also wanting something fun, because we’re going to be playing it live a lot now. When I’m stuck I definitely do ask others’ opinions – not as an end-all be-all, but just, ‘Hey, what do you think is the one?’ Because if there was a resounding one and I was unsure, then I would be like, ‘You know what? Maybe it is that one then.’ But everybody had different favourites [this time around], and it was like, ‘Shit!’ So it wasn’t helpful in picking the first song, but it’s really good to know that there’s not only one really good song – it’s reassuring that there’s so much good stuff, and it felt like we couldn’t really make the wrong choice. And I’m not mad at what we chose!
“A lot of what’s been – and being – written is very extroverted, because Greatest Hits was conceptually over the course of a night, and had a lot of references to indoor shit, and this one I wanted to feel almost like a reintroduction into daytime. And that’s kind of how things are right now – I’m not saying, ‘Everything’s over, throw away your masks!’ I’m not saying that at all, but people are going back out into the world, and they’re re-socialising and re-experiencing things again for the first time in a long time, and a lot of these songs are about those kinds of connections.”
Was it written before you signed to Fueled By Ramen?
“It’s so frustrating, because people say so much online with so little knowledge of how things actually work! People are like, ‘Oh my god, they signed with Fueled By Ramen, they’re gonna make them sound like pop bullshit!’ And I’m like, ‘Dude, the album was 95 per cent done before we even met any of them.’ They flew from New York to LA just to hear the new stuff – because I’m so protective and careful about it, because I have nightmares about our shit leaking! That’s one of my biggest fears. I don’t want to work on an album for a full year of my life or more, and then just have it get leaked. So yeah, they flew over to hear it and were like, ‘Holy shit, this is amazing!’ And I’ve seen how they’ve handled their bands, and they’ve given us more resources than anybody has – and there’s no label-oriented change to the music. So it’s really best-case scenario for us!”
As well as the new single and label change, your clothing company HiiDef has been a huge success. Is that taking up more of your time now than you expected?
“You know, it’s something that I always wanted to do. Very early on with the band I used to micro-manage fucking everything, and it took up 100 per cent of my time, but I’ve kind of realised that perfection is… what’s the saying? ‘Perfection is the enemy of progress.’ And that’s true, because I can sit there being nit-picky over everything, and it’s exhausting! Obviously I’m never gonna half-ass anything, but now I don’t get hung up on everything and it’s opened up so much more time to work on so many other things – and HiiDef was one of those. In band world you want to sell as much merch as possible, but with this everything is very limited in the collections – it’s all 300 [pieces] or less, and it’s just about making the coolest stuff. The other day I dropped this heat-sensitive thing with buttons all around the neck, and if you breathe on it or go outside it looks fuckin’ crazy! This is stuff that you can’t really make in a band scope, because it costs more and it’s just not as sustainable. But I’ve always been into fashion, and I’ve wanted to design shit for long. At the end of 2019 I had a full binder of 50 designs, and then the fucking pandemic hit and I was like, ‘Oh damn, okay!’ But it gave me more time to study because the factories shut down. Since then, I’ve just gotten better at it, and I’ve also realised that being able to do all this can’t be a one-man thing, and you need a good team around you. I can sit there and say, ‘Hey, I want to make this!’ and leave and go to Europe for a tour, and they can begin production on it. So it’s basically just about building teams and having smart, creative, capable people around you. I would be a fucking asshole liar if I took credit for everything going on around me!”
It still seems like juggling everything must be quite stressful…
“It can be, but the thing is there’s time for everything – if you’re not just wasting your day on social media! And that’s easy to do; you can fall into that trap. But, as long as you divide your time appropriately, you can manage so much more than you think if you just put your fucking phone down (laughs).”
Right now you’re focussing on your UK and European headline tour this month – what can fans expect from those shows?
“It’s exciting, because we’ve been able to take the time to transform some of the songs, and add new arrangements, new production, new instrumentation. The production is fucking next-level, and we’ve got some special surprises – especially for London. I will say there’s going to be some history made in London! I hate spoilers, but it’s a really good introduction into what’s next…”
Will you be playing any more new music?!
“Yes! I’m just going to say ‘yes’ and leave it at that!”
After the UK and Europe, your 2022 tour dates wrap up supporting My Chem in America. How does that feel?
“Amazing! Amazing! I can’t fucking wait. Obviously we’re very tight with Mikey [Way, bass], and I’ve talked to Frank [Iero, guitar] a handful of times, but the other day I got to meet Gerard [Way, vocals] and it was so cool. It was just a by-chance thing, but everybody was so fucking nice, and it’s so weird to meet them people that you watched growing up – and it’s like, ‘Oh my god, they’re really cool, they’re not assholes, this is amazing!’ I was able to thank them for having us, because that’s a big bucket-list thing that I didn’t know would ever get crossed off.”
Finally, do you see the Greatest Hits era as done at this point?
“I think that, for me, it’s done. I also get impatient, and – like I said – nobody has the best memories associated with their ‘pandemic albums’. And with so much good, bright new shit ready to go, it’s hard to not move forward.”
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Uniquely Him – Xiao Zhan: The biggest monster to defeat is himself
Translator’s Note: This article comes from ELLE Magazine 2019 Jan Issue.
He learned drawing since elementary school, drawing planets and monsters were his obsession, firmly believing in the existence of aliens. As a lively, vivid and exemplary person, he radiates a sense of security from someone dependable, and yet he has a worldly wisdom of one who knows the ways of the world but prefers not to practice it.
He learned drawing since young, drawing planets and monsters were his obsession. When he watched Martians in movies as a child, his wild imagination gave him a battle with monsters. At that time, he was a boy who was especially fascinated with space, and believed firmly that aliens existed. When he saw news on UFOs, he was excited, curious, but also afraid – would the aliens be friendly with us?
After he read “The Three-Body Problem”, this feeling grew stronger. While exclaiming the broadness of the author’s imagination and how grand the universe is, he researched on the theories and explanations in the novel, as well as on astronomy. Xiao Zhan also imagined how the subjects in “The Three-Body Problem” would look like, “looks like an engineer, perhaps he wears spectacles, he must have a highly progressed mind, great mechanical skills, but probably useless in everyday life, just like Sheldon in ‘The Big Bang Theory’.”
The cruel logic behind all the glitz
Seated in front of the window in the hotel room, his long narrow eyes, puffy and red, Xiao Zhan just finished a day’s filming, and was accepting our interview in a layer of thick winter coat. His attitude was polite, and all around him was the vividness of youth – this made a huge impression.
He had his own studio when he was in year 2 of university, and became a designer after graduating – exemplary student Xiao Zhan’s most glorious moment was being able to design logos in projects with his seniors while he was still an intern, and the client eventually chose his design. Life as a designer lasted until 2015 – his university teacher recommended him to participate in “X-Fire” (TN: A talent search variety show) and he debuted, and since then, his life went onto a different track, becoming one of the hottest idols currently.
Actually, the challenge of becoming an artist is not much different from fighting monsters – since you receive flowers and applause, you would also receive gossip and rumors. His life had been smooth sailing till this, and this confused him for a while, “When the competition ended, there was some dissenting voices, I didn’t quite understand then. Now I’m more at peace, because when you choose a career, you need to learn to accept it. People will like you, and there will be people who won’t.”
However, the cruel logic behind all the glitz was something he could not have imagined. “Audiences do not see what you’ve experienced along the way, they would only judge you based on the final results.” He was filming his first period movie, being outdoors in the mountains at -10°C+ was a daily norm, “We’re filming by the river, everyday we could see the ice slowly form up, today the river is totally frozen, we could walk on it. Basically after every scene I have to cover my face with a warm water bag, otherwise my face would be numb from the cold and become uncontrollable.” And because today there was a scene to scream and shout, Xiao Zhan’s voice was already hoarse.
Xiao Zhan could overcome all this suffering and exhaustion well, the biggest monster he wanted to fight were his self imposed restrictions. “Just now I was thinking while doing make-up, that actually celebrities are like a product, packaged by make-up and styles in order to polish this product. I will bring forth my best to my audiences, but yet I don’t want to over package myself, the real me needs to be in it. I wish that everyone, while accepting my glorious exterior as a celebrity, would also accept my flaws and quirks, since after all, I am a vivid person.”
This sincerity and clarity is where Xiao Zhan’s wisdom lies.
“There is no grandiose in my life”
2018 is the year of rapid growth for Xiao Zhan, he had main roles in various dramas, such as “The Wolf”, “Joy of Life”, “The Untamed”, etc – honing his acting and radiating his presence.
As the lead actor in “The Untamed”, Xiao Zhan’s load was heavy and his filming schedule was tight – filming under the ceaseless summer heat in Hengdian, his mind was always tense. The temperatures in the set was as high as 50°C, the make-up could not stay on, and he filmed most scenes barefaced. The most unforgettable scene was a crying scene – Wei Wuxian, portrayed by Xiao Zhan, had an explosive emotional scene after the massacre of the Jiang family. This scene started filming in the morning, he and Jiang Yanli started crying since 7 a.m. and after they were done, their eyes were as swollen as that of goldfishes. Before this, he was filming “The Wolf” – he systematically took performance classes and grew rapidly in during the filming. “Familiar set and environment, learning to adjust to the nerves and tension, especially since there were hundreds of people servicing you on set, you can do no mistakes.” Xiao Zhan radiates this sense of security from someone dependable. “The Wolf” was his first time as a main supporting role, and he was under tremendous pressure during that period, he often dreamed of acting on set. After every scene he would request for everyone to provide feedback, and then he would learn continuously, analyze and quickly adjust.
After that he had his first cat of his life, a munchkin named Jianguo (TN: Jianguo means nut). After the performance teacher learned about this, one of the homework he gave Xiao Zhan was for him to observe his cat. As a cat-lover, he reveled in the it, “I found out some things that I overlooked, like you will find out that when she’s angry, affectionate or hungry her expression and calls are different.” Xiao Zhan was exceptionally loving to his cat – the first thing he did when after a day’s work was to go home and play with his cat. His private life was quiet and simple, he just stays at home. “The feeling of staying at home is like falling into a cloud, you could roll around as you like, there is no pressure.”
“There is no grandiose in my life.” This was what he felt that gave people the sense of security. His parents, while supportive of his career, were also worried, hence Xiao Zhan often communicated with them, sharing his career successes, helping them be at ease.
In the whole conversation, Xiao Zhan had the purity and enthusiasm belonging uniquely to a youth, and there was this sense of extraordinary realness in him. “Whether or not I want to be an idol, I don’t actually have a choice, the label of an idol is already on me, just that I want to slowly shed off the label of an idol, and become an actor accepted by audiences, so that they can see more of my inner self.”
“I especially dislike public proclamations, you have to pace your life.”
ELLE: What type of boyfriend do you think you are? XZ: I am the boyfriend who is more considerate of the other person, if there were to be my other half in the future, when she’s busy, upset or happy, or wants me to do something, I’ll try to accompany her the way she likes it.
ELLE: Are you the gentle puppy type of boyfriend? XZ: There’s definitely a dominating side, but if you were to be dominating everyday, how do you live? When you have the other half, the most important things are responsibility and trust. (After having a cat, do you think you’re a good dad?) I feel yes, from taking care of my cat.
ELLE: What type of girls do you most want to date? XZ: In many interviews before I spoke about warm, gentle and family-loving girls, but I feel that it still comes down to chemistry, and this is something unpredictable.
ELLE: If you are currently dating a girl, how would you hope to spend Valentine’s Day? XZ: Stay at home, and cook together. There’s a phrase about when you love the right person, every day’s Valentine’s Day, why do you have to spend that day in the crowd with everyone. Being an artist is quite particular, and quite tiring, I have to go back to live my life. If everyday has to be vigorous and stirring, there’s no way to live. No one can act everyday, I especially dislike public proclamations, I feel that you have to pace your life.
ELLE: If we give you a holiday now, what would you do? XZ: Go home and rest, with my parents, and then play with my cat.
ELLE: Are you a typical Libra? XZ: I don’t think so, I don’t have difficulties in choosing, when I spot something I want to buy, I’ll just buy. But sometimes I’ll be stuck in things that I care about, for example the scene I did today, if I’m not satisfied with it, I will think about it from morning till night, and annoy the others around me with my nagging.
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[TRANS] Jungwoo, Mark & Haechan’s interview with Star1 June 2020 issue!
It's the first time for you three to do a shoot together. It's a different combination. Mark: It's really nice that the warm weather is seen in the pictures and it was fun to shoot with this fresh combination. Jungwoo: I really like it because it seems like the chemistry between us was well shown. Haechan: It's been a very long time since I had a shoot so I was a little nervous but on the other hand, also excited. I think I had a lot of fun because I was together with the hyungs.
You finished all the promotions for the 2nd full album <NCT#127 NeoZone>, how was it? Jungwoo: We were able to show NCT 127's color clearly through the title song 'Kick It'. All the side tracks had a very diverse feel too, and the promotion period was very meaningful because, matching with the 'NCT 127' name, it seemed to represent a new NCT 127 well in the aspects of music, choreography, stage composition, and so on. Mark: It was a comeback after a long time with a full album, so as much as the fans waited for it, we worked hard in the preparations to show many good sides. Of course, it was a shame we couldn't meet the fans on the music shows. Haechan: So, during the repackage promotion period, we will try various ways to communicate with the fans.
You also achieved some great things during these promotions, in particular, ranking no.5 on the Billboard 200 Mark: The last album ranked at no.11, and to see that it gradually improved to rank no.5, I was even more proud and happy. It gave me a great sense of achievement. I was as grateful and as happy as much as it was the result of the feeling loved and receiving attention from around the world.
Soon, you will be making a comeback with the repackage album < NeoZone: The Final Round>, what kind of song is the title song 'Punch'? Haechan: It's a very hip and strong song. Also, it has an ambiance of feeling like a different song due to some elements that are in the middle, so it's a fun song to listen to. Jungwoo: As much as it is a title song, I put my all in it. There were many changes made during the preparations, including the recording process. We worked hard to make it complete. Mark: As much as 'Kick It' was well received by the fans, I think 'Punch' will be as well and will deliver the finishing blow.
In addition to 'Punch', there are also other new side songs, how is it different compared to the 2nd full album [NeoZone]? Haechan: First off, for the new songs on the repackage album, there is a new charming ballad song 'Make Your Day' and there is a song with a different feeling called 'NonStop'. You will be able to feel the diversity. Mark: That's right. 'Make Your Day' is a song where you will receive healing through the sweet voices of the vocal members. Jungwoo: It's a great song to listen to in the summer.
Then what is the key point of 'Punch'? Haechan: I think the chorus is the most memorable. It's repeated a lot, so I think it's nice when you listen to it excitingly. Jungwoo: I think 'Punch' [is the song with] the most killing parts. There are many parts that stick right to your ears. Please enjoy the killing part. Mark: Your ears might get hurt since it's addicting. haha
Is there something you want to show to the public through this album? Haechan: That I am really grateful for the support we received during 'Kick It' and that I was really happy. During the upcoming promotions too, I want to take that energy and show NCT 127's performance that will K.O. everyone. Of course, there are burdens when you receive great support, but regardless of the results, we are doing the best we can as always, so if you keep supporting us, we will show you our K.O. performance.
Was there ever a life changing "punch", if so when? Mark: As I was preparing for this song, I was reminded of the trainee days a lot. I was a trainee for almost three years, and I'm normally the type of person to beat myself down. I think that's when I threw [myself] the most “punches”. In order not to lose myself in front of the mirror I pushed myself and tried to overcome and grow. So while preparing for this song, I really related to it a lot. Jungwoo: I think it was during my debut for me. I was introduced for the first time during 'Boss'. I wanted to have an impact on many people so I really worked hard. When I think about it now, I didn't have to be so nervous, I was really worried. I am reminded of the time where I wanted to throw an impactful punch as big as I was nervous so I tried to double the effort.
What is a hot topic among NCT 127 lately? Mark: We're almost finished preparing for the repackage album, and all the members are working hard in perfecting the choreography. And we are also preparing for Beyond Live. Other than that, since the members are home a lot, we're getting into cooking more than ever (laughs). These days, Taeil hyung has really fallen for cooking. Once, when I returned home after practice, there was the smell of pasta coming from the dorm and it turns out that Taeil was making pasta by himself. I was even surprised at how delicious it was. haha
The world tour was also completed successfully Mark: It's hard to go overseas these days so I kinda miss it, and I often think about how nice it would be to tour soon again. It was a rare opportunity and a joyful journey. It's not easy to meet fans in person so it was a thing I'm really grateful for. It was also nice to eat a lot of delicious food with the members.
Is there a difference between preparing before the world tour and after? Mark: It's like, you know a lot after you've seen a lot. Aside from the stages, there were many things I felt. While meeting various cultures and people, our own team's unity has improved and our teamwork has gotten better too. There were a lot of physical challenges. Looking back after overcoming those hardships, all of them are beautiful memories. If you ask what's different or what has changed, it's that the teamwork has become better, and I think each member has gradually grown during the tour. Jungwoo: As expected personally, I think I grew a lot myself and it's true that I learned a lot while being on various stages. Instead of performing the same thing on each stage, I tried to change my facial expression and tried to change many things. Although we grew a lot as a team, I gained a lot of self-confidence too. To be honest, I was really nervous before leaving, but as I met a lot of fans from various countries I felt very grateful to be welcomed and supported. Haechan: My mindset has changed. Before I used to do a lot of things for 'the future'. After the world, I tend to focus on 'us'. We are working hard and having fun showing us and our way.
NCT 127 members are all skilled in various areas. If you could steal a talent from each other, what would it be? Haechan: Jungwoo hyung’s innocence. Haha. When Jungwoo hyung’s ‘Pure Beauty’ shines, that's when I get envious. I think Mark hyung’s biggest asset is consistency. Doing anything consistently is a skill in my opinion, so I’m envious of this side of Mark hyung. Jungwoo: As for me, Mark’s dancing skills or English? Haha. Mark: I already told Jungwoo before, but he has this special aura about him. I’m just very thankful to have him next to me. It’s a precious thing. Haha. Even in a stiff situation he can elevate the mood. It’s not that I want to take it from him, it’s just that I like it when he’s next to me like that.
What are the unexpected sides of the members? Haechan: Mark hyung is consistently good at everything. The only thing he can't do is gaming. He is really bad at gaming. I don't think he has any talent for gaming. Jungwoo: Also, Mark is surprisingly delicate and detailed. There might be some people who already know, but he is more delicate than you can imagine. Haechan: Jungwoo looks innocent and seems quiet, but surprisingly he has many sturdy/bold sides. He is the type of person where those two sides coexist. Although he is still shy in front of the fans, when he feels comfortable, he is more active and energetic. That's his unexpected side.
To me, NCT 127 is? Haechan: It’s the foundation of my growth. When I was with hyungs I could see a lot of aspects where I was lacking, but because hyungs helped me so much I think I was able to grow. Jungwoo: I think we make each other shine. When someone is lacking the others fill in the gaps, when it’s hard we help each other, I think. Mark: I think we became a team that are friends and hyungs for life. I’m very thankful that we became like friends not just in NCT 127, but in everyday life. Jungwoo: Right. Us meeting seems like fate. Mark: We were all born and raised in different places, how else would we meet as a team like this.
As half of 2020 has passed, what are your goals both goals personally and as an artist? Haechan: I want to be busy and work hard in 2020. As an artist I’d like for it to be a year where I improve internally or work on my skills. Jungwoo: As a team I’d like for us to be introduced to more fans and grow a lot through performances. I’m also looking forward to see the results. I also wish this would be the year when I progress and take care of myself a lot. Mark: I want to play music for even more fans and I also want approval. Wherever we go I want to show performances without embarrassment, without seeming lame when I look back later, I always want to work hard. I hope the members become more proud of themselves as they should, and that we promote happily too.
Translation: Esmee, Alex @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: Star1 Scans — Do not repost or take out without our permission!
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Surfaces Is Bringing Their Happy Place to the Masses [Q&A]
Photo: Dan Franco
When Colin Padalecki met Forrest Frank on SoundCloud, back in 2016, they had no idea that their whimsical exchange of DMs would evolve into the brotherhood of a lifetime, an ever-growing discography, and a roster spot on one of the hottest independent record labels in the world—10K Projects.
Since then, the two friends have formed a genre-bending band called Surfaces and an audiovisual world of neo-soul, beach-pop, reggae, and gospel music. Or better yet, an imaginary happy place, right smack-dab in the middle of “The Lone Star State,” where the two Texans make masterful R&B music with spoken-word lyricism that elevates positive thinking for the soul.
All in all, the guys from Surfaces have been releasing music together for four years now. Thus, with each year comes a brand-new album from the hardworking duo. While Caribbean rhythms and heartwarming subject matter remain notable fixtures of their songwriting, another mainstay is the scenic artwork that’s accompanied every album release so far.
Each time that Padalecki creates an official album cover for Surfaces, it’s as if he’s giving their supporters a behind-the-scenes look at the way in which they find inspiration before a songwriting camp. In many instances, the artwork that he designs serves as a catalyst for the band’s recording sessions, because it sets the mood. His graphic illustrations of sunsets, beaches, and waterfronts augment the heartfelt stories that have been told for the duration of four albums now by his bandmate, Frank, whose lyrics and jazz-rap cadences always seem to carry a positive undertone.
The meaning behind his uplifting words stem from a spiritual assertion that was instilled in him from a young age by his family. In fact, his band’s biggest hit to date was influenced by his faith. “When I think of the lyrics [from “Sunday Best”]... for me, personally, the only way I’ve been able to find that kind of complete stress-free lifestyle is through my relationship with God,” shares Frank. Of all the songs that have been penned by Surfaces over the past five years, none of the releases contain a single ounce of vulgarity in them. This is a very unique distinction for a secular band—especially one that is part of a record label that’s been home to some of the most popular rappers of the SoundCloud rap era.
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But nevertheless, their working relationship with their record label has actually enhanced their creativity. Because the company’s CEO has created a healthy environment for artistic expression, regardless of the genres his artists belong to. “I feel like Elliot [Grainge] runs a really tight family kind of shop. He doesn’t have a lot of artists on his roster, but he has a personal relationship with all of us and the other people we work with like Molly, Sam, and our managers. So, [signing with 10K Projects] just made sense,” shares Padalecki. “Elliot gave us full creative control, which is truly a blessing when it comes to something like a record deal. At any moment in time, we could just ask him to meet us for lunch and he cares enough about us on a personal level to go do that. He trusts in our decisions when it comes to song making, album choices, and everything. They’ve been nothing but supportive and we’ve been nothing but grateful for 10K, it’s almost like a family.”
Indeed, a stress-free creative space, cathartic chorus lines, and the full support of 10K Projects have proven to be key components in a winning formula that’s yielded multi-platinum successes for Surfaces. So, as the old adage goes: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Which means when it comes to dropping new music, the guys are sticking to what works.
When they made their best-selling album to date, Where The Light Is, they recorded the tracks during the day, while the sun was out at Frank’s boat house to perfectly capture a positive and happy mood. Catching a vibe in a sunny environment has proven to be tried-and-true method for the band and a blueprint that Colin Padalecki wanted to follow during the making of their latest album, Pacifico.
“We rented a house in Malibu for about a half a month. It was kind of like this creative camp that we set up and we pretty much woke up every single day in this really gorgeous house with this really gorgeous view of the beach line of Malibu and the sunset peaking over the mountains every single day,” says the multi-instrumentalist. “It was just nice to not have to worry about anything with Forrest, his wife, and our creative collaborator Conrad [Public Library Commute]. Nothing felt forced… we were just trying to capture the essence of that trip. The whole album pretty much describes that vacation of ours. And we just tried to capture all aspects of it through sonics.”
On April 9, Surfaces introduced their fourth studio album to the world with the lead single called “Wave of You.” It’s a vibey beach-pop track that explores the depths of a romantic relationship through the eyes of Frank. It also displays his willingness to expose his own real-life experiences. “I think it’s really powerful. A relationship can be so powerful and when you’re really drawn to someone it’s like the tide pulling you into the wave. It’s awesome, but it’s also really fragile and dangerous,” says Frank.
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Upon the release of two follow-up singles to “Wave of You,” Surfaces officially dropped Pacifico on June 25. The new album arrives on the heels of one of the most challenging time periods this world has ever seen. In the wake of a global pandemic, a little bit of sunshine is exactly what the the world needs. Pacifico, fittingly, is a breath of fresh air for their supporters and a fitting soundtrack for the beginning of summer after nearly a year-and-a-half of worldwide shutdowns.
One of the main aspects of this album that displays the band’s growth as musicians are the amount of artist features present. Before the release of Pacifico, the only collaboration they ever published was “Learn To Fly” with Elton John. Their collaborative effort with the Rock & Roll Hall of Famer was an absolute banger, but it was never officially featured on an album by Surfaces. Instead, it was published as a one-off single. But this time around, the group teamed up with four collaborators: Public Library Commute, Salam Ilese, Xavier Omär and Quinn XCII.
Their contributions to Pacifico have added a whole new element to this delightful collection of sun-soaked music. In fact, the story of how they ended up recording their collaboration with Omär in person is almost as compelling as the story of how the co-founders met each other. “We’d been huge fans [of Xavier Omär] ever since the SoundCloud days. We had a second verse open [for “Come Around”]. So, we DM’d him and said, ‘Yo what’s up! We’re huge fans!’ He said he was a big fan of ours too. So, we told him that we’d love to link up and talk about music because we have a song that he might like,” recounts Frank. “Then he said, ‘Oh cool, but the only thing is, I don’t live in L.A., I live in San Antonio.’ And we were like, ‘Yo, Colin lives in San Antonio (laughs)! So, we basically drove down the street and recorded with him.” It’s a fond memory of their first encounter with one of their favorite musicians… and it’s strikingly similar to the way that Padalecki met Frank on SoundCloud about five years prior.
“Hearing (Omar Xavier’s) melodies recorded at my house brought me back to my high school days of listening to Middle of Things,” says Padalecki. “It had a huge impact on me in high school. So, him coming over and hanging out with us like friends, getting lunch with us, and then getting to the music later was really special.” While collaborative efforts like “Come Around” and “On Time” have certainly added a new dimension to the songwriting and emotional depth of Surfaces, fans can rest assured that their trademark penchant for feel great grooves remain true all throughout Pacifico.
In just five years, the duo behind Surfaces has traveled all over the country. The last time they took the show on the road was during the “Warm Winter Tour” back in 2019. This August, they’ll hit the road again for a North American tour called the aptly titled “Good 2 Be Back Tour.” To the masses they’re a homegrown duo that never fails to bring light and positivity to the forefront of their music. But internally… they’re just two friends having the time of their lives. And why wouldn’t they be? It’s not every day that pop icons like Justin Bieber partake in a “Sunday Best” dance craze dedicated to you by your fans on TikTok.
More importantly, it’s not every day a pop-rock band comes along and reminds us of Bill Withers, Hall & Oates, Beach Boys and Chance the Rapper all in one breath. “That’s pretty good (laughs). I like that,” confesses Frank when the unique comparison was brought to his attention. With the release of Pacifico, Surfaces is now four albums deep into a promising career in music. And to think, it all started with a litany of recording sessions at Padalecki’s college house in Texas. It appears as though the guys from Surfaces are just as good at building songs as they are at giving form to the happy place from which all of their songs originate.
Pacifico is available everywhere you can stream it.
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Harry Styles On Vogue
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https://www.vogue.com/article/harry-styles-cover-december-2020/amp?__twitter_impression=true
From Vogue MAGAZINE
Playtime With Harry Styles
THE MEN’S BATHING POND in London’s Hampstead Heath at daybreak on a gloomy September morning seemed such an unlikely locale for my first meeting with Harry Styles, music’s legendarily charm-heavy style czar, that I wondered perhaps if something had been lost in translation.
But then there is Styles, cheerily gung ho, hidden behind a festive yellow bandana mask and a sweatshirt of his own design, surprisingly printed with three portraits of his intellectual pinup, the author Alain de Botton. “I love his writing,” says Styles. “I just think he’s brilliant. I saw him give a talk about the keys to happiness, and how one of the keys is living among friends, and how real friendship stems from being vulnerable with someone.”
In turn, de Botton’s 2016 novel The Course of Love taught Styles that “when it comes to relationships, you just expect yourself to be good at it…[but] being in a real relationship with someone is a skill,” one that Styles himself has often had to hone in the unforgiving klieg light of public attention, and in the company of such high-profile paramours as Taylor Swift and—well, Styles is too much of a gentleman to name names.
That sweatshirt and the Columbia Records tracksuit bottoms are removed in the quaint wooden open-air changing room, with its Swallows and Amazons vibe. A handful of intrepid fellow patrons in various states of undress are blissfully unaware of the 26-year-old supernova in their midst, although I must admit I’m finding it rather difficult to take my eyes off him, try as I might. Styles has been on a six-day juice cleanse in readiness for Vogue’s photographer Tyler Mitchell. He practices Pilates (“I’ve got very tight hamstrings—trying to get those open”) and meditates twice a day. “It has changed my life,” he avers, “but it’s so subtle. It’s helped me just be more present. I feel like I’m able to enjoy the things that are happening right in front of me, even if it’s food or it’s coffee or it’s being with a friend—or a swim in a really cold pond!” Styles also feels that his meditation practices have helped him through the tumult of 2020: “Meditation just brings a stillness that has been really beneficial, I think, for my mental health.”
Styles has been a pescatarian for three years, inspired by the vegan food that several members of his current band prepared on tour. “My body definitely feels better for it,” he says. His shapely torso is prettily inscribed with the tattoos of a Victorian sailor—a rose, a galleon, a mermaid, an anchor, and a palm tree among them, and, straddling his clavicle, the dates 1967 and 1957 (the respective birth years of his mother and father). Frankly, I rather wish I’d packed a beach muumuu.
We take the piratical gangplank that juts into the water and dive in. Let me tell you, this is not the Aegean. The glacial water is a cloudy phlegm green beneath the surface, and clammy reeds slap one’s ankles. Styles, who admits he will try any fad, has recently had a couple of cryotherapy sessions and is evidently less susceptible to the cold. By the time we have swum a full circuit, however, body temperatures have adjusted, and the ice, you might say, has been broken. Duly invigorated, we are ready to face the day. Styles has thoughtfully brought a canister of coffee and some bottles of water in his backpack, and we sit at either end of a park bench for a socially distanced chat.
It seems that he has had a productive year. At the onset of lockdown, Styles found himself in his second home, in the canyons of Los Angeles. After a few days on his own, however, he moved in with a pod of three friends (and subsequently with two band members, Mitch Rowland and Sarah Jones). They “would put names in a hat and plan the week out,” Styles explains. “If you were Monday, you would choose the movie, dinner, and the activity for that day. I like to make soups, and there was a big array of movies; we went all over the board,” from Goodfellas to Clueless. The experience, says Styles, “has been a really good lesson in what makes me happy now. It’s such a good example of living in the moment. I honestly just like being around my friends,” he adds. “That’s been my biggest takeaway. Just being on my own the whole time, I would have been miserable.”
Styles is big on friendship groups and considers his former and legendarily hysteria-inducing boy band, One Direction, to have been one of them. “I think the typical thing is to come out of a band like that and almost feel like you have to apologize for being in it,” says Styles. “But I loved my time in it. It was all new to me, and I was trying to learn as much as I could. I wanted to soak it in…. I think that’s probably why I like traveling now—soaking stuff up.” In a post-COVID future, he is contemplating a temporary move to Tokyo, explaining that “there’s a respect and a stillness, a quietness that I really loved every time I’ve been there.”
In the music he has been working on in 2020, Styles wants to capture the experimental spirit that informed his second album, last year’s Fine Line. With his debut album, “I was very much finding out what my sound was as a solo artist,” he says. “I can see all the places where it almost felt like I was bowling with the bumpers up. I think with the second album I let go of the fear of getting it wrong and…it was really joyous and really free. I think with music it’s so important to evolve—and that extends to clothes and videos and all that stuff. That’s why you look back at David Bowie with Ziggy Stardust or the Beatles and their different eras—that fearlessness is super inspiring.”
The seismic changes of 2020—including the Black Lives Matter uprising around racial justice—has also provided Styles with an opportunity for personal growth. “I think it’s a time for opening up and learning and listening,” he says. “I’ve been trying to read and educate myself so that in 20 years I’m still doing the right things and taking the right steps. I believe in karma, and I think it’s just a time right now where we could use a little more kindness and empathy and patience with people, be a little more prepared to listen and grow.”
Meanwhile, Styles’s euphoric single “Watermelon Sugar” became something of an escapist anthem for this dystopian summer of 2020. The video, featuring Styles (dressed in ’70s-flavored Gucci and Bode) cavorting with a pack of beach-babe girls and boys, was shot in January, before lockdown rules came into play. By the time it was ready to be released in May, a poignant epigraph had been added: “This video is dedicated to touching.”
Styles is looking forward to touring again, when “it’s safe for everyone,” because, as he notes, “being up against people is part of the whole thing. You can’t really re-create it in any way.” But it hasn’t always been so. Early in his career, Styles was so stricken with stage fright that he regularly threw up preperformance. “I just always thought I was going to mess up or something,” he remembers. “But I’ve felt really lucky to have a group of incredibly generous fans. They’re generous emotionally—and when they come to the show, they give so much that it creates this atmosphere that I’ve always found so loving and accepting.”
THIS SUMMER, when it was safe enough to travel, Styles returned to his London home, which is where he suggests we head now, setting off in his modish Primrose Yellow ’73 Jaguar that smells of gasoline and leatherette. “Me and my dad have always bonded over cars,” Styles explains. “I never thought I’d be someone who just went out for a leisurely drive, purely for enjoyment.” On sleepless jet-lagged nights he’ll drive through London’s quiet streets, seeing neighborhoods in a new way. “I find it quite relaxing,” he says.
Over the summer Styles took a road trip with his artist friend Tomo Campbell through France and Italy, setting off at four in the morning and spending the night in Geneva, where they jumped in the lake “to wake ourselves up.” (I see a pattern emerging.) At the end of the trip Styles drove home alone, accompanied by an upbeat playlist that included “Aretha Franklin, Parliament, and a lot of Stevie Wonder. It was really fun for me,” he says. “I don’t travel like that a lot. I’m usually in such a rush, but there was a stillness to it. I love the feeling of nobody knowing where I am, that kind of escape...and freedom.”
GROWING UP in a village in the North of England, Styles thought of London as a world apart: “It truly felt like a different country.” At a wide-eyed 16, he came down to the teeming metropolis after his mother entered him on the U.K. talent-search show The X Factor. “I went to the audition to find out if I could sing,” Styles recalls, “or if my mum was just being nice to me.” Styles was eliminated but subsequently brought back with other contestants—Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, and Zayn Malik—to form a boy band that was named (on Styles’s suggestion) One Direction. The wily X Factor creator and judge, Simon Cowell, soon signed them to his label Syco Records, and the rest is history: 1D’s first four albums, supported by four world tours from 2011 to 2015, debuted at number one on the U.S. Billboard charts, and the band has sold 70 million records to date. At 18, Styles bought the London house he now calls home. “I was going to do two weeks’ work to it,” he remembers, “but when I came back there was no second floor,” so he moved in with adult friends who lived nearby till the renovation was complete. “Eighteen months,” he deadpans. “I’ve always seen that period as pretty pivotal for me, as there’s that moment at the party where it’s getting late, and half of the people would go upstairs to do drugs, and the other people go home. I was like, ‘I don’t really know this friend’s wife, so I’m not going to get all messy and then go home.’ I had to behave a bit, at a time where everything else about my life felt I didn’t have to behave really. I’ve been lucky to always feel I have this family unit somewhere.”
When Styles’s London renovation was finally done, “I went in for the first time and I cried,” he recalls. “Because I just felt like I had somewhere. L.A. feels like holiday, but this feels like home.”
“There’s so much joy to be had in playing with clothes. I’ve never thought too much about what it means—it just becomes this extended part of creating something”
Behind its pink door, Styles’s house has all the trappings of rock stardom—there’s a man cave filled with guitars, a Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks poster (a moving-in gift from his decorator), a Stevie Nicks album cover. Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” was one of the first songs he knew the words to—“My parents were big fans”—and he and Nicks have formed something of a mutual-admiration society. At the beginning of lockdown, Nicks tweeted to her fans that she was taking inspiration from Fine Line: “Way to go, H,” she wrote. “It is your Rumours.” “She’s always there for you,” said Styles when he inducted Nicks into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2019. “She knows what you need—advice, a little wisdom, a blouse, a shawl; she’s got you covered.”
Styles makes us some tea in the light-filled kitchen and then wanders into the convivial living room, where he strikes an insouciant pose on the chesterfield sofa, upholstered in a turquoise velvet that perhaps not entirely coincidentally sets off his eyes. Styles admits that his lockdown lewk was “sweatpants, constantly,” and he is relishing the opportunity to dress up again. He doesn’t have to wait long: The following day, under the eaves of a Victorian mansion in Notting Hill, I arrive in the middle of fittings for Vogue’s shoot and discover Styles in his Y-fronts, patiently waiting to try on looks for fashion editor Camilla Nickerson and photographer Tyler Mitchell. Styles’s personal stylist, Harry Lambert, wearing a pearl necklace and his nails colored in various shades of green varnish, à la Sally Bowles, is providing helpful backup (Britain’s Rule of Six hasn’t yet been imposed).
Styles, who has thoughtfully brought me a copy of de Botton’s 2006 book The Architecture of Happiness, is instinctively and almost quaintly polite, in an old-fashioned, holding-open-doors and not-mentioning-lovers-by-name sort of way. He is astounded to discover that the Atlanta-born Mitchell has yet to experience a traditional British Sunday roast dinner. Assuring him that “it’s basically like Thanksgiving every Sunday,” Styles gives Mitchell the details of his favorite London restaurants in which to enjoy one. “It’s a good thing to be nice,” Mitchell tells me after a morning in Styles’s company.
MITCHELL has Lionel Wendt’s languorously homoerotic 1930s portraits of young Sri Lankan men on his mood board. Nickerson is thinking of Irving Penn’s legendary fall 1950 Paris haute couture collections sitting, where he photographed midcentury supermodels, including his wife, Lisa Fonssagrives, in high-style Dior and Balenciaga creations. Styles is up for all of it, and so, it would seem, is the menswear landscape of 2020: Jonathan Anderson has produced a trapeze coat anchored with a chunky gold martingale; John Galliano at Maison Margiela has fashioned a khaki trench with a portrait neckline in layers of colored tulle; and Harris Reed—a Saint Martins fashion student sleuthed by Lambert who ended up making some looks for Styles’s last tour—has spent a week making a broad-shouldered Smoking jacket with high-waisted, wide-leg pants that have become a Styles signature since he posed for Tim Walker for the cover of Fine Line wearing a Gucci pair—a silhouette that was repeated in the tour wardrobe. (“I liked the idea of having that uniform,” says Styles.) Reed’s version is worn with a hoopskirt draped in festoons of hot-pink satin that somehow suggests Deborah Kerr asking Yul Brynner’s King of Siam, “Shall we dance?”
Styles introduces me to the writer and eyewear designer Gemma Styles, “my sister from the same womb,” he says. She is also here for the fitting: The siblings plan to surprise their mother with the double portrait on these pages.
I ask her whether her brother had always been interested in clothes.
“My mum loved to dress us up,” she remembers. “I always hated it, and Harry was always quite into it. She did some really elaborate papier-mâché outfits: She made a giant mug and then painted an atlas on it, and that was Harry being ‘The World Cup.’ Harry also had a little dalmatian-dog outfit,” she adds, “a hand-me-down from our closest family friends. He would just spend an inordinate amount of time wearing that outfit. But then Mum dressed me up as Cruella de Vil. She was always looking for any opportunity!”
“As a kid I definitely liked fancy dress,” Styles says. There were school plays, the first of which cast him as Barney, a church mouse. “I was really young, and I wore tights for that,” he recalls. “I remember it was crazy to me that I was wearing a pair of tights. And that was maybe where it all kicked off!”
Acting has also remained a fundamental form of expression for Styles. His sister recalls that even on the eve of his life-changing X Factor audition, Styles could sing in public only in an assumed voice. “He used to do quite a good sort of Elvis warble,” she remembers. During the rehearsals in the family home, “he would sing in the bathroom because if it was him singing as himself, he just couldn’t have anyone looking at him! I love his voice now,” she adds. “I’m so glad that he makes music that I actually enjoy listening to.”
Styles’s role-playing continued soon after 1D went on permanent hiatus in 2016, and he was cast in Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk, beating out dozens of professional actors for the role. “The good part was my character was a young soldier who didn’t really know what he was doing,” says Styles modestly. “The scale of the movie was so big that I was a tiny piece of the puzzle. It was definitely humbling. I just loved being outside of my comfort zone.”
His performance caught the eye of Olivia Wilde, who remembers that it “blew me away—the openness and commitment.” In turn, Styles loved Wilde’s directorial debut, Booksmart, and is “very honored” that she cast him in a leading role for her second feature, a thriller titled Don’t Worry Darling, which went into production this fall. Styles will play the husband to Florence Pugh in what Styles describes as “a 1950s utopia in the California desert.”
Wilde’s movie is costumed by Academy Award nominee Arianne Phillips. “She and I did a little victory dance when we heard that we officially had Harry in the film,” notes Wilde, “because we knew that he has a real appreciation for fashion and style. And this movie is incredibly stylistic. It’s very heightened and opulent, and I’m really grateful that he is so enthusiastic about that element of the process—some actors just don’t care.”
“I like playing dress-up in general,” Styles concurs, in a masterpiece of understatement: This is the man, after all, who cohosted the Met’s 2019 “Notes on Camp” gala attired in a nipple-freeing black organza blouse with a lace jabot, and pants so high-waisted that they cupped his pectorals. The ensemble, accessorized with the pearl-drop earring of a dandified Elizabethan courtier, was created for Styles by Gucci’s Alessandro Michele, whom he befriended in 2014. Styles, who has subsequently personified the brand as the face of the Gucci fragrance, finds Michele “fearless with his work and his imagination. It’s really inspiring to be around someone who works like that.”
The two first met in London over a cappuccino. “It was just a kind of PR appointment,” says Michele, “but something magical happened, and Harry is now a friend. He has the aura of an English rock-and-roll star—like a young Greek god with the attitude of James Dean and a little bit of Mick Jagger—but no one is sweeter. He is the image of a new era, of the way that a man can look.”
Styles credits his style transformation—from Jack Wills tracksuit-clad boy-band heartthrob to nonpareil fashionisto—to his meeting the droll young stylist Harry Lambert seven years ago. They hit it off at once and have conspired ever since, enjoying a playfully campy rapport and calling each other Sue and Susan as they parse the niceties of the scarlet lace Gucci man-bra that Michele has made for Vogue’s shoot, for instance, or a pair of Bode pants hand-painted with biographical images (Styles sent Emily Adams Bode images of his family, and a photograph he had found of David Hockney and Joni Mitchell. “The idea of those two being friends, to me, was really beautiful,” Styles explains).
“He just has fun with clothing, and that’s kind of where I’ve got it from,” says Styles of Lambert. “He doesn’t take it too seriously, which means I don’t take it too seriously.” The process has been evolutionary. At his first meeting with Lambert, the stylist proposed “a pair of flares, and I was like, ‘Flares? That’s fucking crazy,’ ” Styles remembers. Now he declares that “you can never be overdressed. There’s no such thing. The people that I looked up to in music—Prince and David Bowie and Elvis and Freddie Mercury and Elton John—they’re such showmen. As a kid it was completely mind-blowing. Now I’ll put on something that feels really flamboyant, and I don’t feel crazy wearing it. I think if you get something that you feel amazing in, it’s like a superhero outfit. Clothes are there to have fun with and experiment with and play with. What’s really exciting is that all of these lines are just kind of crumbling away. When you take away ‘There’s clothes for men and there’s clothes for women,’ once you remove any barriers, obviously you open up the arena in which you can play. I’ll go in shops sometimes, and I just find myself looking at the women’s clothes thinking they’re amazing. It’s like anything—anytime you’re putting barriers up in your own life, you’re just limiting yourself. There’s so much joy to be had in playing with clothes. I’ve never really thought too much about what it means—it just becomes this extended part of creating something.”
“He’s up for it,” confirms Lambert, who earlier this year, for instance, found a JW Anderson cardigan with the look of a Rubik’s Cube (“on sale at matchesfashion.com!”). Styles wore it, accessorized with his own pearl necklace, for a Today rehearsal in February and it went viral: His fans were soon knitting their own versions and posting the results on TikTok. Jonathan Anderson declared himself “so impressed and incredibly humbled by this trend” that he nimbly made the pattern available (complete with a YouTube tutorial) so that Styles’s fans could copy it for free. Meanwhile, London’s storied Victoria & Albert Museum has requested Styles’s original: an emblematic document of how people got creative during the COVID era. “It’s going to be in their permanent collection,” says Lambert exultantly. “Is that not sick? Is that not the most epic thing?”
“It’s pretty powerful and kind of extraordinary to see someone in his position redefining what it can mean to be a man with confidence,” says Olivia Wilde
“To me, he’s very modern,” says Wilde of Styles, “and I hope that this brand of confidence as a male that Harry has—truly devoid of any traces of toxic masculinity—is indicative of his generation and therefore the future of the world. I think he is in many ways championing that, spearheading that. It’s pretty powerful and kind of extraordinary to see someone in his position redefining what it can mean to be a man with confidence.”
“He’s really in touch with his feminine side because it’s something natural,” notes Michele. “And he’s a big inspiration to a younger generation—about how you can be in a totally free playground when you feel comfortable. I think that he’s a revolutionary.”
STYLES’S confidence is on full display the day after the fitting, which finds us all on the beautiful Sussex dales. Over the summit of the hill, with its trees blown horizontal by the fierce winds, lies the English Channel. Even though it’s a two-hour drive from London, the fresh-faced Styles, who went to bed at 9 p.m., has arrived on set early: He is famously early for everything. The team is installed in a traditional flint-stone barn. The giant doors have been replaced by glass and frame a bucolic view of distant grazing sheep. “Look at that field!” says Styles. “How lucky are we? This is our office! Smell the roses!” Lambert starts to sing “Kumbaya, my Lord.”
Hairdresser Malcolm Edwards is setting Styles’s hair in a Victory roll with silver clips, and until it is combed out he resembles Kathryn Grayson with stubble. His fingers are freighted with rings, and “he has a new army of mini purses,” says Lambert, gesturing to an accessory table heaving with examples including a mini sky-blue Gucci Jackie bag discreetly monogrammed HS. Michele has also made Styles a dress for the shoot that Tissot might have liked to paint—acres of ice-blue ruffles, black Valenciennes lace, and suivez-moi, jeune homme ribbons. Erelong, Styles is gamely racing up a hill in it, dodging sheep scat, thistles, and shards of chalk, and striking a pose for Mitchell that manages to make ruffles a compelling new masculine proposition, just as Mr. Fish’s frothy white cotton dress—equal parts Romantic poet and Greek presidential guard—did for Mick Jagger when he wore it for The Rolling Stones’ free performance in Hyde Park in 1969, or as the suburban-mom floral housedress did for Kurt Cobain as he defined the iconoclastic grunge aesthetic. Styles is mischievously singing ABBA’s “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)” to himself when Mitchell calls him outside to jump up and down on a trampoline in a Comme des Garçons buttoned wool kilt. “How did it look?” asks his sister when he comes in from the cold. “Divine,” says her brother in playful Lambert-speak.
As the wide sky is washed in pink, orange, and gray, like a Turner sunset, and Mitchell calls it a successful day, Styles is playing “Cherry” from Fine Line on his Fender acoustic on the hilltop. “He does his own stunts,” says his sister, laughing. The impromptu set is greeted with applause. “Thank you, Antwerp!” says Styles playfully, bowing to the crowd. “Thank you, fashion!”
#harry styles#non binary#men wearing dress#harry styles in dress#transgender#trans pride#transgender woman#dresses#men in dresses#dress
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During a pivotal year of his solo career, Harry Styles has notched another monumental achievement: his first No. 1 single on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.
As “Watermelon Sugar,” the standout track from Styles’ sophomore solo LP Fine Line, lifts 7-1 on this week’s Hot 100 tally, Styles tops the chart for the first time, after previously reaching a No. 2 peak as a member of One Direction. After starting his solo career with his classic rock influences on his sleeve, Styles has become a fixture at pop radio in 2020, with both “Watermelon Sugar” and “Adore You” becoming ubiquitous top 10 hits this year.
How shocking is the ascent of “Watermelon Sugar”? And what could the song mean for Styles’ future at the Grammy Awards? Billboard staffers answer these questions and more below.
1. On a scale of 1-10, how surprised are you that “Watermelon Sugar” is the song to finally give Harry Styles his first Hot 100 chart-topper?
Andrew Unterberger: Three months ago, it would've been a 10 for sure. Types of songs that don't usually go to No. 1 in 2020: fourth official singles, songs that have already dropped off the Hot 100 for multiple months after debuting, rock (or at least rock-based pop) songs. "Watermelon Sugar" was each of 'em, and even as recently as last week, I'd have been, like, an 8 about it going all the way to No. 1 -- even with a viral video, good audio-only streaming numbers and huge radio support, it seemed to have hit a ceiling outside the top 5. But a concentrated fan campaign and some good chart timing have put it over the top, and maybe I shouldn't be so surprised by that in 2020 after all.
Jason Lipshutz: I’d give it a 7 -- not because of any deficiency or quirk with the song, but because of its circuitous route to the top of the Hot 100 chart. Styles performed “Watermelon Sugar” for the first time on Saturday Night Live on Nov. 16, 2019, and released music videos for three other Fine Line songs before finally returning to it in May. That’s an incredibly slow burn -- to provide some context, “Watermelon Sugar” was released the same weekend as the ill-fated Charlie’s Angels reboot! -- and an unlikely path to pop ubiquity, to say the least.
Joe Lynch: I guess 9? It's super catchy and easy to get into, but it's just not the vibe of most 2019-2020 Hot 100 toppers – although given that Taylor Swift's "Cardigan" cozied up to the top slot last week, perhaps we're at a point in the pandemic where people are specifically turning to something that's a far cry from the top 40 norm for a break in monotony.
Lyndsey Havens: I'd say a 6. Three years ago (and still today) I thought that "Sign of the Times" could have and should have topped the chart, and then I thought that "Adore You" might finally do the trick. But people do say "third time's the charm" for a reason, and it makes sense that, after two strong top 10 singles, the continual growth of Fine Line well into 2020 and the strong promotional push, that this summer-ready, breezy pop-rock track has claimed the chart's top spot.
Stephen Daw: I'm clocking in at a solid 5 — it's surprising (to me, at least) that it took Harry Styles this long to log his first No. 1, but as soon as I heard "Watermelon Sugar," I was confident that, if a song off of Fine Line was going to reach the top of the Hot 100, it would be this one.
2. The success of Styles’ second album, Fine Line, has been one of the biggest stories in mainstream pop this year -- the album is still in the top 10 of the Billboard 200 chart eight months after its release. Why do you think Styles’ sophomore solo LP has resonated so well this year?
Andrew Unterberger: I wish I knew -- as do record company folks around the world, I imagine. It's a very good album and Harry is an extremely likeable star, but nothing about an album that feels largely like a tribute to '70s pop-rock and post-peak Paul McCartney would've struck me as an album to take him to that next level of stardom. He's just a star -- one with a big-enough gravitational pull to bend the mainstream to him -- and I won't underestimate him so easily again.
Jason Lipshutz: In 2020, artists like Dua Lipa, Lady Gaga, Selena Gomez and 5 Seconds of Summer have all released top-notch pop full-lengths... but I have returned to Fine Line more than any of them. Part of that has to do with its sense of uplift and enthusiasm during a particularly trying year -- shout-out to “Treat People With Kindness” for snapping me out of some grade-A funks -- but Fine Line’s songs are stronger than those of Styles’ self-titled debut, the pacing is immaculate, the hits are far more effective and Styles is more comfortable in his own, ‘70s-pop-channeling skin. Fine Line is part throwback, part comfort food, part magnetic artistic presence, and remains an excellent front-to-back listen.
Joe Lynch: I think he's in a great spot in his career: not only has his 1D fan base embraced his maturing sound (which, to be fair, isn't a tough sell �� this is very accessible pop-rock), but his gender-bending, classic rock-worshiping fashionista persona has expanded his listenership beyond the realm of card-carrying Directioners. Plus, it's an album that's crafted to last: this is meticulous studio pop that mostly eschews the tiresome trends and tricks most producers feel obligated to slap on a recording to make it feel “contemporary.” Fine Line occupies its own lane instead of competing against two-or-three new sound-alike albums a month.
Lyndsey Havens: Harry is the "perfect" pop star: his One Direction past earned him a built-in (and very dedicated) fan base, he’s mysterious enough but generous with his content, queen Stevie Nicks has become his number one fan, and, of course, he delivered an album filled with fantastic pop-rock hits and ballads. When Harry Styles arrived, fans had to adjust to Styles' sonic pivot. But by the time he delivered Fine Line, both Styles and his fans had matured -- and those pop-rock roots he planted years prior were in bloom. There was no adjustment period, and in my opinion, that allowed Fine Line to be immediately and repeatedly consumed.
Stephen Daw: There's a lot to be said for Harry's massive, mobilized fan base, and for his status as a burgeoning pop auteur in the modern era. But I think both of those facts only help uplift the fact that Fine Line is simply a great album. The songs aren't pigeonholed into one specific sound, yet they retain this classic, pop-rock finish to them that passes the minivan test; there's something for parents and kids in all of these songs.
3. Styles’ other Fine Line hit, “Adore You,” peaked at No. 6 earlier this year, and comes in at No. 12 this week. Are you a “Watermelon Sugar” person or an “Adore You” person?
Andrew Unterberger: I think "Adore You" is the better song, but I'm glad that "Watermelon Sugar" was the song to get him to No. 1. "Adore You" was the dead-center top 40 single -- and even "Falling" could've caught some post-"Someone You Loved" radio spillover -- but "Watermelon Sugar" is just pure Harry. He couldn't have asked for a better, more validating single to affirm his superstardom.
Jason Lipshutz: Hard to pick one, but give me “Watermelon Sugar” for the higher sing-along quality. Watching Styles perform Fine Line in its entirety at the Forum in Los Angeles last December included an arena of fans shouting “Watermelon sugar, HIGH!” -- and this was before the song was a chart-conquering hit. I suspect “Watermelon Sugar” is going to be a euphoric live staple in the coming years, which gives it the edge for me.
Joe Lynch: Definitely "Watermelon Sugar,“ a perfect, laid-back summer jam that gently uplifts without ever demanding attention. "Adore You" is solid but tailored for a specific topic, whereas "Watermelon Sugar" is the kind of softly buoyant treat that floats well in a variety of contexts.
Lyndsey Havens: I find it interesting that the two songs off Fine Line to stick around the chart's upper echelon are a bit similar-sounding. One of my favorite things about Styles is the risks he'll take, best evidenced by his debut solo single "Sign of the Times,” but also by Fine Line tracks like "Lights Up," "Falling" and "To Be So Lonely." But that's exactly what makes me a Harry Styles fan -- he's no one trick pony (insert joke about him heading in more than one direction), and while "Adore You" and "Watermelon Sugar" may not showcase his range, they've both become Styles standards for me. But to finally answer the question, I have to go with "Adore You" for the lyrics alone. I mean.... how can you compete, or argue, when he pleads like that?
Stephen Daw: They're both excellent songs, but if I had to pick, I'm partial to "Adore You." Sonically, the groovy bass line and stylized guitar riffs hit me right where I live. Lyrically, I respond a lot more to the "strawberry lipstick state of mind" than I do to something that "tastes like strawberries on a summer evening." But they both have strawberries in there, so it's a win either way!
4. Styles is now the second member of One Direction to score a solo No. 1, following Zayn with “Pillowtalk.” If you had to choose one of the other members -- Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson -- to someday score a No. 1 single, who would you put your money on?
Andrew Unterberger: Can't say the prospects for any of them reaching the Hot 100's peak are looking particularly robust right now, but if I had to choose one, I guess I'd say Liam. He has connections throughout the pop world that could result in him finding his way onto the right collab -- with buddy Post Malone, perhaps -- to find his way back to the top. Rooting for Louis, though! Go Louis!
Jason Lipshutz: I’m going to zag a little and go with Liam Payne, who scored an unexpected top 10 hit with the Quavo team-up “Strip That Down” and has been trying to recapture that magic in the years since. Payne’s solo debut didn’t offer any other standout singles, but he’s proven capable of headlining a rhythmic pop single that sticks around at radio, and I wouldn’t be shocked if he does so again over the next few years.
Joe Lynch: That's a tough question, because I could see Liam or Louis hopping on a track as a featured artist that goes all the way to the top. But if we're talking primary credited artist, it's gotta be Niall Horan, who has demonstrated probably the most solid catalog and sonic cohesion thus far of those three. Not saying it seems likely, but then again, when Fine Line dropped, who thought "Watermelon Sugar" would sweeten up the top spot on the Hot 100?
Lyndsey Havens: Justice for Niall's "No Judgement"! I played that song a lot when it first came out. But I actually think it's a smarter financial move to bet on Liam Payne, considering his strategy of collaboration. He's worked with Zedd, Quavo and Alesso, among others, and I wouldn't be all that surprised if in another year or so he lands on a track -- or a remix -- that shoots to No. 1 for the star power alone.
Stephen Daw: While Liam is the only other member to get one of his songs into the Top 10 of the Hot 100, I'm putting my chips down on Niall. Heartbreak Weather turned out to be a pretty fun record, and I remain convinced that "Black and White" is going to have a second life (much like "Watermelon Sugar”)!
5. Finish this sentence: at next year’s Grammy Awards, Harry Styles’ “Watermelon Sugar” will __________.
Andrew Unterberger: ...be shut out. It may score Harry his first nomination or two -- either solo or with 1D -- but considering how the Recording Academy has given him the cold shoulder so far, and seeing how overlooked he was even among this year's VMAs nods, I don’t know if I see him taking home his first Gramophone for it. (Uh-oh, looks like I'm easily underestimating him again -- never mind, I say the song sweeps.)
Jason Lipshutz: ...be nominated for record of the year, and Fine Line will be nominated for album of the year, and justice will have finally been served to Styles, who has yet to garner a single nomination over the course of his career. Will either win? It’s too early to say, but I like Fine Line’s chances at this point.
Joe Lynch: ...sow seeds of discontent; the Grammys will continue to ignore Harry Styles, and the fans will unleash their exasperation on Twitter with the machine gun-rapidity of a cartoon character spitting out watermelon seeds.
Stephen Daw: ...probably get nominated for record of the year. It would be worthy of a spot in the song of the year and best pop solo performance categories as well, but something tells me that if one of his songs were to be nominated for those categories, "Adore You" stands a better chance. While it would be great to see Harry win, if he were nominated in this category, he'd likely be going up against the likes of Dua Lipa, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, The Weeknd and/or Megan Thee Stallion, and I just don't think he'd be able to clinch the ROTY win with that kind of competition.
Lyndsey Havens: ...still taste like strawberries on a summer evenin’.
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The last of the One Direction lot to release his debut album, Louis Tomlinson took his time making his first full-length.
"It's taken me the best part of four years to finish it, so naturally, you know, there's a lot of heart in it," he considers, "a lot of emotion, a lot of honesty I think. And the most important thing for me, whenever I'm writing a song, is that the lyrics are really important to me. I just want to make people feel something, and through honesty, that becomes a little bit easier, you know? So I feel like, hopefully, I've made an honest and interesting record."
A lot has happened for Louis in the past ten years. He was catapulted into stardom as part of One Direction in 2010, left that group in 2015, returned to The X Factor in 2018 as a judge, became a footballer for a bit, had a child, and sadly lost his mother in 2016 and sister Felicité in 2019. A lot of those themes make it onto 'Walls', the latter forming the lyrics for the record's lead single 'Two Of Us'.
"Honesty and vulnerability at times is relatable, and it's important sometimes talk about certain things. I'm always conscious of being as transparent as I possibly can to my fans and to any listener."
Of course, his first solo ventures, 'Just Hold On' with Steve Aoki and 'Back To You' with Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals, are miles away from the music he returned with in 2019, but he maintains the change of direction was for the best. "I just don't think that those songs are true to the artist that I want to be. Although they were right to me at the time, if you put them in the middle of this album, they would definitely stand out."
Where Harry's albums channel 70s rock and artsy pop, Niall's debut had the singer/songwriter vibe a la Sheeran and Capaldi, and Liam and Zayn opted for chart-friendly R&B pop, on 'Walls', Louis goes back to his roots, doing his best to emulate the Northern indie rockers he grew up on. "I feel like a lot of influence happens subconsciously. It's what you're listening to at the time or what you've grown up with. In terms of who I look up to, Alex Turner and the way that he writes as a lyricist is incredible, especially in the early Arctic Monkeys stuff. I always talk about Amy Winehouse's level of detail, again as a lyricist, and how descriptive she was was incredible. Obviously, I'm a massive, massive Oasis fan that goes without saying."
"Coming out of One Direction, it was a bit of improvising, a bit of trial and error"
Chatting to Louis, it's easy to forget he was part of one of the biggest groups of all time, because he just comes across as a down to earth and, well, normal bloke. It's like seeing an old school friend in the pub and having a catch-up.
He's never lost his accent, and his dedication to his hometown of Doncaster is unmatched. He's returning to the Doncaster Dome on tour, was signed as a Doncaster Rovers player, and even in his early solo days, took Bebe Rexha to the Keepmoat Stadium for a video shoot.
"I always try and be as true to myself as I can. I've always been very aware of where I've come from, and very proud of where I've come from. I fuckin love Doncaster. My family still live there, I go there all't time, well, not all't time, but as much as I can. Those influences that I've grown up with were vital on my first album, they're definitely part of it's DNA.
"This was always where my heart lies. I mean, I spent most of my youth in Priory, back when it were ten quid all you could drink – which was fucking mint. That really pushed me towards big choruses and guitars, basically - you know, like a Catfish and the Bottlemen kinda record, that's the sound I really love."
Likening his experience of finding his feet after 1D's disbandment ("hiatus") to that of a brand new artist, it took Louis a while to get comfortable with the music he was making.
"A lot of developing artists when they first start their career, they spend two, three, maybe even five years in the background developing and waiting for that one moment, that one song, that one album. And I kind of had to live out that whole development period in the public eye. Naturally, after coming out of One Direction, it was a bit of improvising, a bit of trial and error and working out exactly who I should be as an artist. It took some time, I didn't want to rush it."
He did dip his toe into the songwriting waters during his time in 1D, if getting a writing credit on 37 of their songs counts as dipping a toe, but felt he needed time rediscovering himself.
"It was really important to me; it was only from the third album onwards that we really got trusted with having a real influence on the songwriting. It's something I'm really proud of, and they're definitely skills that have helped me in the solo career."
Funnily enough, One Direction's third album seemed to be the point where their music took a stadium rock-ish turn, which never really let up for the remainder of their career (see: 'Midnight Memories', 'Where Do Broken Hearts Go', 'Drag Me Down'). Maybe Louis always had those big choruses in him after all.
"I have the luxury of being a positive person"
There are plenty of references to walls and fences on (aptly titled) 'Walls', which could easily be read as feeling like he needed to break out, but he says that's not necessarily what he means.
"I normally shy away from metaphor, but it was relevant in the song definitely. I'm sure that's how some people might interpret it. But it's more about general growth in life and any problems or mistakes that you make along the way. It's more about realising that, and I'm very proud of my One Direction roots, massively."
Strangely, he says joining One Direction humbled him. As a cocky teenager, being thrust into the spotlight and feeling like a small fish in a very large, Simon Cowell-controlled pond affected the boys in different ways.
"I was a bit of a show-off, really. I came into One Direction with a bit of an ego; I did think a lot of myself, I'm not gonna lie. It was quite a sobering experience. I was a bit of a show-off when I was a kid to be fair, like I love making people laugh and all that. I wasn't very hardworking. I'd say I'm hardworking now, but I definitely wasn't when I was a young lad."
And does he feel like he's changed much since finishing with the group five years ago?
"It feels like it did in One Direction, just a diluted version really. I'm lucky I still have a certain amount of hardcore fans who follow my every move. So in terms of the difference in like privacy and stuff, that hasn't really changed too much. But, you know, it is what it is. It's what I've signed up for, apparently."
It doesn't come across like the fame gets to him, perhaps in a way it has done in the past. He seems relaxed, confident, more candid than he was on any 1D press run (e.g., he's allowed to swear now), and like genuinely, despite everything, he's in a good place.
"I have the luxury of being a positive person and seeing the glass as half full. Whenever I reflect on those times of me feeling a little bit emotional, I always do see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just extending that idea that you know, trying to induce hope."
Louis Tomlinson's album 'Walls' is out 31st January.
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Documenting 2: Visual Research
Martin Parr
Martin Parr is an English documentary photographer who is best known for his photography of the tradition of the Great British Holiday. He is probably my favourite photographer in the world, as I love how honestly and candidly he captures life. He has had around 40 solo photobooks published, and has featured in around 80 exhibitions worldwide. When asked about the art of documenting people through photography, and the ethics involved, he said the following:
“I think that all photography involving people has an element of exploitation, and therefore I am no exception. However it would be a very sad world if photographers were not allowed to photograph in public places. I often think of what I photograph as a soap opera where I am waiting for the right cast to fall into place. In more recent years I have photographed much closer where bits of people and food become part of the big picture, and one advantage of this is that it means people are less recognisable.”
Tish Murtha
Tish Murtha was a Northern English documentary photographer who took black and white photos to create a record of youth unemployment, juvenile jazz bands, kids in Elswick in South Shields, and a series of photos of London by night. Her work is very striking and raw, the black and white photography really adds a sort of grit and solemness to her photographs.
Francesco Faraci
Faraci is a Sicillian street photographer. I think his work is really beautiful and raw, and much like a contemporary version of Tish Murtha’s work.
Jason Florio
Jason Florio is an English documentary photographer. This photoseries is called Destination Europe, and it shows the journey of refugees from Libya to Europe. He has done several documentation projects all around the world, and Destination Europe was one that won him a Magnum Photography Award in 2017. These photos are seriously effecting - they are beautiful and devastating, and tell a story brilliantly. This is documentary photography with a real purpose and meaning. These photos are heartbreaking.
Keir Edmonds
“Berlin-based English urban sketching artist Keir Edmonds keeps a visual diary that illustrates his life as an expat in Germany’s capital. Believing that “you have to put in 10,000 hours to get really good at something,” the self-confessed “Englishman lost in Berlin” carries a sketchbook and pen everywhere he goes. From local architecture to summertime canals and graffiti-covered streets, his growing portfolio captures the undeniable charm of the city.
Edmonds started keeping sketchbook journals in 2015 with the goal to improve his skills in observational drawing.”
Sam Winston
Sam Winston is an artist based in London, who says his “practice is concerned with language not only as a carrier of messages but also as a visual form in and of itself”. He is known for his typography and his abstract illustration, having worked with some of the biggest art galleries in the world.
These images are from a project he undertook called 7 days - “a long durational studio work where the artist lived without sight for seven days and nights. Repeatedly transcribing five sentences the image created is without any visual reference.”
Sam says, “The idea of going ‘under’ or without images fascinated me. I had read of yogis spending years in complete darkness and psychologists running light deprivation studies but for me the question was - what landscapes are available to the artist when they are only given an internal view for seven days?
Biologically speaking the absence of daylight triggers large hormone imbalances in the pineal glad located in the centre of the brain. This gland normally releases melatonin which is the hormone that regulates sleep - and with this out of balance - you will quickly find yourself operating outside of conventional time.”
This method of abstract documentation is something I find very intriguing. As a designer, you have information input into you and it is your job to translate this meaningfully into the world. If we restrict our outputs and inputs, and put ourselves under strictor creative parameters, then as creatives we we surely find a way to make great work through the power of thinking ourelves out of those restrictions.
1. ‘A durational work where a pencil line records the length of every exhalation. The length of each line marks the length of time it takes to exhale. These marks were recorded over a 15 hour day without break. “The premise is deceptively simple - marking either an exhalation or inhalation with a pencil line - the length of the duration of a breath. Yet the cumulative effect of this action is a map that reveals a unique bridge between our unconscious and conscious functioning. It is also a refocusing of attention to our dependent relationship within the aerobic world.”
2. ‘An on going series of collages looking a various components of drawing. Each image contains one complete pencil.“This is the beginnings of a process looking at the materiality of the objects that inform artistic practice. By literally exploding, dissolving and collaging broken down artists tools we reveal their history and legacy. Whether the pencil graphite is from mines in China or the New Mexican cotton farms that make rag made paper - each artwork is a testimony to a globalized economy and the unseen geography of the tools by which we make art. “‘
3. ‘Birth day is an project that charts the 183,600 lives that come into being on the planet over a period of 12 hours. The participants draw circles to remember loved ones and also register their names in writing. In this way the public are asked to connect their own personal narrative to the much broader theme of population growth and decline.“By the time you’ve read this sentence three people have been born into the world.From observing this process I have noticed that the moment a person draws a circle (and it has a name) the artwork stops being about statistics and becomes a wall of brothers, sisters, mothers etc - in this particular case representing 260,000 lives that are born and die in 12 hours.”’
The text of Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet was read and categorised into three emotional states – passion, rage & solace. Once theses these three categories of text were typeset & printed they became the material for three the hand cut collages. The final work is the combined print of the typeset category and the hand cut collage.
Nathalie Miebach
Boston-based conceptual artist Nathalie Miebach weaves colorful, complex sculptures using rope, wood, paper, fibers, and data from weather events. Two of the artist’s recent series explore the impact of storm waters on our lives and on marine ecosystems, with variables like wind and temperature (and the harmony of the composition) often informing the rainbow of colors used to translate the data into a three-dimensional structure.
Priscilla Coleman
Priscilla Coleman is a courtroom illustrator. This is a dying art and in the UK there are only four official courtroom illustrators left. “It’s as if you’re memorising for a test,” she tells It’s Nice That. “You forget the details so you have to write something that will trigger your memory. Once I had to draw a line of airline hijackers, and they all had black hair but different hairstyles. One had long sideburns so I wrote Elvis, one was skinny so I wrote ‘skeleton man’, for others I wrote ‘potato nose’ or ‘fried hair’ or for another, I wrote the name of an ex-boyfriend he reminded me of! People’s faces are fascinating.”
Scott Elmquist
This man is a very inspiring documentary photographer. The last image above is an extremely powerful photograph to me. It shows black youth playing basketball under the defaced statue of a coloniser. Amazing. Above that is part of his Americana documentary photography series, capturing rural midwestern America and it’s communities.
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Sanditon: The Sense & Sensibility Connection
@fortunatelylori and I first started talking way back during the incredibly long wait for the final season of Game of Thrones, when we were still sweet summer children and far less bitter than we are today. After GOT broke our hearts clean in two, we decided we needed to find a new shared obsession. We made our way through a few shows – some of them great (Narcos) and some of them just okay (The Discovery of Witches) – until one day a very attractive, very wet and very naked Theo James appeared on my dash. I sent @fortunatelylori the GIF set with the question, “so when did Theo James get this hot?” and she made the very smart decision that Sanditon would be our next watch.
Expecting a fun, easy, paint-by-numbers Jane Austen adaption, we were both incredibly surprised to find that not only is Sanditon grittier than other period dramas, but it also has fascinating and complex characters, interesting writing choices and is overall, a show that we both genuinely really love. It also happens to be a show that we both have a lot to say about.
If you’ve read @fortunatelylori‘s metas before, then you know you’re in for a treat. If you haven’t, prepare yourself for just how disgustingly good she is at analysing and understanding TV – she’s our fandom’s Meta Queen after all. We’ve been wanting to do a meta collab for quite a while now and it turns out a naked Theo James ended up providing the perfect opportunity. Who knew?
So, with that in mind, here is our first attempt at a meta collab. Which is really just a condensed version of our conversations – minus the swearing, animal pics and Theo James’ bare arse.
* * *
It’s no surprise to anyone, at this point, that Andrew Davies wears his Austen influences on his sleeve in Sanditon. You can find easter eggs for most of Austen’s work, from the famous Pride and Prejudice to the obscure Lady Susan.
However, Sense and Sensibility seems to be one work that hasn’t insipired much comparison from the fandom. And it’s perhaps for that reason that Sandion’s last two episodes were so hard to digest and why so many question marks were raised in regards to Charlotte’s characterization.
In this project we aim to dispel some of that confusion and attempt to put into prespective the character arcs of both Sidney and Charlotte in:
Sidlotte: A parallel journey between Sense and Sensibility by @fortunatelylori
As well as delve deeper into Charlotte’s POV through out the season finale in:
Charlotte Heywood: From Sensibility to Sense by @and-holly-goes-lightly
Charlotte Heywood: From Sensibility to Sense
It is easy to dismiss Charlotte Heywood as simply another stereotypical plucky period drama heroine. At first glance, Charlotte appears to be cut from the same cloth as other Austen protagonists Elizabeth Bennett and Emma Woodhouse – strong willed, outspoken, inquisitive and incredibly charming. While Charlotte certainly does exhibit a number of personality traits borrowed from other Austen protagonists – this is Andrew Davies love letter to Austen after all – it would be a mistake to think that Charlotte isn’t a complex and interesting character all of her own. Charlotte’s character development may be far more understated than Sidney’s and not as all-encompassing as Esther’s, but her coming-of-age story is vital in driving the narrative and laying the ground work for S2 (if and when that happens).
I have spoken previously about the beginning of Charlotte’s character development here, as 1x07 presented a noticeable change in Charlotte’s behaviour. Charlotte began the series as a true romantic who wore her heart on her sleeve and had total confidence in her judgement and beliefs – overall, she tended to err more on the side of sensibility than sense. However, by the beginning of 1x07, Charlotte is noticeably reticent and emotionally guarded, struck by the knowledge that she is both in love with Sidney and that her once unguarded heart is now very much at risk. Despite Sidney’s declaration of love at the end of the episode (“I believe I am my best self, my truest self, when I’m with you”), 1x08 opens with an introspective Charlotte. When discussing Sidney with Georgiana, Charlotte appears blissfully in love, but noticeably anxious about what Sidney’s declaration means.
Charlotte - “We spoke after the regatta and he said he felt his truest self when he was with me.”
Georgiana - “Why would he say that?”
Charlotte - “I’ve been asking myself the same question. I couldn’t sleep last night for thinking on it.”
By the time the credits roll on the season finale, Charlotte’s character development is very much underway, with 1x08 setting the framework for exploring a Charlotte no longer ruled by sensibility, but by sense (Davies, there better be a S2 or so help me God *shakes fist at sky*).
However, before I discuss just how Charlotte’s character development plays out in 1x08, let’s go back to the beginning of the series and Charlotte’s arrival in Sanditon. I’ve talked quite a bit about Sidney’s instant attraction to Charlotte and how his feelings for her influence their interactions (for better or worse), but I’ve yet to explore the beginnings of Charlotte’s feelings for Sidney and how those feelings tie into Charlotte’s character growth. While Sidney and Charlotte’s first meeting in 1x01 is defined by just how badly it went (“new maid?”), this isn’t Charlotte’s first introduction to Sidney. Charlotte is first introduced to Sidney – well, a poor artistic rendering of him at least – upon her arrival at Trafalgar House. Taking in Tom’s truly ostentatious design choices, Charlotte stops in front of a large portrait of Sidney, which takes pride of place in the Parker’s entryway. It is apparent that Charlotte’s curiosity is immediately piqued by the rather imposing work, curiosity that is further increased by Tom’s unhelpful description of his enigmatic younger brother.
“He’s a man of affairs, a man of business – importing, exporting – he’s here, there and everywhere.”
Charlotte is as instantly attracted to Sidney as Sidney is to her upon their first meeting on the clifftops. However, while Sidney’s attraction to Charlotte is driven by her honesty, implicit kindness and strength of character, Charlotte’s initial curiosity and attraction to Sidney lays with his status an outlier and her inability to understand his intentions (as well as the fact that he is, without question, a total babe). As @fortunatelylori points out, Charlotte thrives on honesty (and sometimes just the appearance of honesty), and is immediately cautious of those who, like Sidney, keep their cards close to their chest. Despite catching glimpses of Sidney at his best and truest self, in attempting to understand his motivations, Charlotte often misconstrues his emotional disconnect as dishonesty. She cannot reconcile the loyal, kind and charming man she is attracted to with the prejudiced, withholding and taciturn man she assumes his behaviour indicates. When Charlotte’s father warned her that people in Sanditon may not be as they appear, Charlotte was on the lookout for a wolf in sheep’s clothing (notice her changing opinion on Edward and Clara, for example). She had not accounted for the opposite – that Sidney’s brusqueness was well crafted armour developed as a result of trauma.
Following Georgiana’s kidnap and eventual rescue in London, Charlotte wrestles with the knowledge that her tendency towards sensibility and her belief that emotional vulnerability equals honesty, has blinded her to Otis’ true nature and has caused her to make inaccurate assumptions about Sidney’s motivations.
“I hardly know what to think anymore… about anything. I’ve always felt so certain of my judgement and now I see I’ve been blinded by sentiment and naivety. I’ve got it all so wrong. No wonder your brother has such a poor opinion of me.”
By the time Sidney asks her to dance at the masquerade ball in London at the end of 1x06, Charlotte’s whole world has undergone a seismic shift. Her experience with Sidney and Otis has shown that she must recalibrate her world view. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is an overwhelming undertaking. Charlotte’s past confidence in her judgement stems from her usually good ability to read people – her biggest mistake was not misunderstanding Sidney and Otis’ motivations, but not accounting for how trauma can shape someone’s world view (in fairness, this is not something Charlotte could understand until she experienced it herself) and assuming everyone, like her, comes from a place of good intentions. These are valuable, but hard lessons to learn and unfortunately for Charlotte, these lessons are quickly followed by the realisation that she is in love with Sidney, as well as Eliza’s sudden reappearance. Taking all this into account, it’s easy to see why Charlotte spends 1x07 introspective and emotionally guarded.
Therefore, it comes as no surprise that Davies’ chooses to open 1x08 with multiple shots of Charlotte walking alone along the beach deep in thought. Not only has Charlotte wrestled with her feelings for Sidney, but she spent the previous day (1x07) convinced that Sidney did not return her feelings due to the apparent reestablishment of his relationship with Eliza, as well as feeling as though she has been found lacking in comparison to the elegant, cultured and incredibly wealthy other woman. I know many people have attributed Charlotte’s noticeable reservation in 1x08 as passivity in the face of her developing relationship with Sidney. However, I don’t believe that is the case, merely that at this point in Charlotte’s character development she has made the terrifying realisation that giving power over your heart to someone you love leaves you incredibly vulnerable to heartache. After all, Sidney’s abandonment of Charlotte for Eliza at the masquerade ball at the end of 1x06, gave her a small lesson in just how painful love can be. As a result, the Charlotte that meets Sidney’s eyes across Sanditon’s completed streets at the beginning of 1x08, is one of sense over sensibility – hopeful in her love for Sidney and anxiously waiting for the other shoe to drop.
This is reinforced by her scene with Georgiana prior to the midsummer ball. Strip away the regency set design and costuming, and this scene could be easily transplanted to any modern romantic comedy – our young heroine confiding in her friend about her developing love for the male hero. Sounds familiar, right?
“You judge Sidney too harshly. Consider the kindness he has shown Otis. I believe he has a tenderness that few people get to see.”
Unfortunately for Charlotte, her friend is too distracted by her own romantic woes to understand just how important it is that she be a good friend to Charlotte in this moment. Charlotte is seeking two things from Georgiana during their discussion. Firstly, she desperately wants to share the joy of falling in love for the first time with her friend. Secondly, when Charlotte reveals that Sidney confessed he was his best and truest self with her, she is hoping for validation. Because of course Sidney would feel his best and truest self with Charlotte, right? She may be a farmer’s daughter, but she is also intelligent, outspoken, determined and unfailingly kind, so how could he not? Instead, Georgiana responds with, “why would he say that?”. Rose Williams does such a beautiful job here, because Charlotte’s hurt and disappointment is so clearly etched across her face. What Charlotte desperately needed in that moment was a friend to ease her doubts, and unfortunately Georgiana is too wrapped up in her own heartache and anger to be that for her.
Charlotte ends her discussion with Georgiana with as little reassurance and clarity as she began it. She is desperate to believe that Sidney returns her feelings, but her whole world view has just been called into question and on top of that, she spent the day before on the receiving end of Sidney’s mixed messages and Eliza’s pointed remarks. And here is where I think the argument for Charlotte’s passivity falls apart, and should be instead seen as a (eventually thwarted) step in Charlotte’s character development towards a balance between sense and sensibility. Passiveness suggests inaction, and Charlotte chooses to act – she asks Sidney whether she can join him on his walk into town. This may seem inconsequential, but it is anything but. Because Charlotte is not only choosing to trust in her feelings for Sidney and in his feelings for her, but she is telling Sidney his feelings are reciprocated and those feelings are strong enough that they need time alone to discuss their possible future together.
Now, I don’t have to tell you the scene of Sidney and Charlotte walking across the clifftops left me in a swooning heap like every silent film actress worth their salt. I think that was the collective fandom response. However, I do want to discuss the intricacies at play in Sidney and Charlotte’s interaction, because I have seen it misconstrued as passiveness, when really the agency lies with Charlotte the whole time. We began with the scene with a rather inane discussion about the weather and Charlotte’s family (Sidney’s eye roll of self-disgust at his poor conversational skills is everything) – Sidney is both desperate to discuss their conversation from the previous night, but patiently waiting for Charlotte to indicate that this is something she wishes to do. She does, telling him she would rather continue their walk together than return to town for her dress fitting.
Charlotte – “We seem not to be walking into town?”
Sidney – “Ah, yes, your dress fitting. Forgive me, what a fool I am. Should we head back, perhaps?”
Charlotte – “No, there is absolutely no urgency about my dress fitting. A walk along the clifftops is much more to my taste.”
Sidney – “Good. My thoughts exactly.”
Sidney is willing to end their walk and the possibility of discussing their feelings at the slightest hint that this may not be something Charlotte desires. However, following Charlotte’s lead, Sidney admits that he wished to find time alone with her to discuss their conversation while glancing at her mouth every five seconds, and of course (because really, who could say no to Theo James?) they kiss. What is important to note is that Sidney continues to check in with Charlotte at every point in the lead up to that moment. Charlotte only had to say no or ask to return to town for Sidney not to proceed, something she is well aware of and actively chooses not to do. Responding positively to Sidney’s actions is not the same as passiveness. You only have to watch as Charlotte stares longing at Sidney to know that she desired the kiss just as much as he did.
Which leads us to Sidney’s almost marriage proposal at the midsummer ball and the closest Charlotte and Sidney come to meeting in the middle of their respective character arcs, between sense and sensibility. While Charlotte is still prone to introspection, asking Mary how she knew that Tom was right man for her (hey Mary, I think we’d all like to know the answer to that one), she has regained some of her confidence back, no doubt buoyed by the confirmation that Sidney returns her feelings and wishes to create a life with her. Charlotte’s agency in pursuing a romantic relationship with Sidney is once again highlighted during her conversation with Young Stringer.
Young Stringer – “So, you have found a reason to stay?”
Charlotte – “Yes, I believe I have.”
When Charlotte chooses to seek Sidney out, she is actively choosing to place faith in her judgement and in Sidney. Both Charlotte and Sidney are hesitant, terrified of being hurt for very different reasons, yet they are willing to risk their hearts for a chance at a life together. Which is why Edward’s interruption and the fallout from the fire is so heartbreaking, because not only do we see a return of Charlotte’s doubts, but Sidney and Charlotte are never again as close to coming together as they were in that moment.
There is no doubt that Charlotte’s misgivings about Sidney’s love for her are somewhat well founded. Rooted in the uncertainty of the failed proposal and her insecurity regarding Eliza, Charlotte’s doubts are mostly due to her belief that the other shoe is sure to drop, because why would Sidney Parker ever wish to marry her, a farmer’s daughter? The reason Charlotte is so hurt by Eliza’s snide comment about her marriage prospects in 1x07 isn’t because she cares what Eliza thinks of her, but because she’s terrified Sidney, the person whose good opinion she values the most, may think her unsuitable. Her letter to her sister written while Sidney is returning from London is evidence of this insecurity – insecurity that is unintentionally stoked by Sidney’s mixed messages and Eliza’s sharp tongue in 1x07.
“Oh Alison, it’s possible that my future too could depend on Sidney’s swift return. I wish I could tell you more, but it may be very soon that I have exciting news to share.”
Even knowing that Sidney was interrupted during his proposal of marriage, despite his assurances that he will once again make an offer when he returns from London, Charlotte can still not allow herself to completely believe that Sidney wishes to marry her. When Sidney tells her he can no longer make her an offer of marriage, because he has engaged himself to Eliza in exchange for her funding Sanditon’s rebuild, Charlotte’s worst fears come true. Charlotte has been found wanting and her dream of marrying Sidney was only ever that, a dream.
When Charlotte and Sidney meet again at Lord Babington and Esther’s wedding, Charlotte has transformed from sensibility to sense and fully assumed her role as Sanditon’s Elinor Dashwood – emotionally guarded and reserved in the face of heartbreak and disappointed hopes. Their conversation is painful to watch – Sidney holding himself back from enquiring how Charlotte truly is and Charlotte assuming the picture of detached politeness.
Sidney – “How do you do Miss Heywood?”
Charlotte – “Very well, thank you.”
Sidney – “And your family, are they well?”
Charlotte – “Very well.”
Sidney – “Ah.”
Charlotte – “How are your own wedding preparations?”
Sidney – “Elaborate.”
In the face of Sidney’s clear regret and Eliza’s pointed comment about, “simple country weddings” (another dig at Charlotte’s marriageability), Charlotte remains guarded, her mask firmly in place. Even when Young Stringer questions her about Sidney’s engagement to Eliza, Charlotte’s armour of good manners does not break.
Young Stringer – “I gather Mr Sidney Parker is engaged?”
Charlotte – “Yes. I wish them both every happiness.”
Sidney – “She’s not half the woman you are Charlotte. If he can’t see that he doesn’t deserve you.”
Charlotte – “Thank you Mr Stringer.”
By the time that Sidney stops Charlotte’s carriage on the clifftops as she leaves Sanditon, Charlotte’s character development has reached its ultimate end for the season. Transformed from an outspoken, determined young woman who wore her heart on her sleeve and believed marriage without love was, “a form of slavery”, Charlotte has now traded places with Sidney, carefully guarding her bruised and battered heart and becoming emotionally withdrawn from those around her. When Sidney approaches the carriage to speak to Charlotte, you can see the hope bloom across her face. For the briefest of moments, Charlotte allows herself to believe that Sidney has come to declare his love and prevent her from leaving Sanditon. Therefore it is incredibly heartbreaking to watch as Charlotte realises this isn’t the case and she schools her face one again into a mask of controlled politeness. In truth, Charlotte is barely keeping herself together – like Elinor she is a moment away from breaking apart. Because despite her heartache, Charlotte is still desperately in love with the man who caused it. What’s more, she understands why Sidney made the decision he did – an impossible decision in impossible circumstances. It would almost be easier for Charlotte to hate him. Even now as he seeks absolution while planning to marry another woman, she can’t help but want him to be happy.
Sidney – “Tell me you don’t think too badly of me.”
Charlotte – “I don’t think badly of you.”
Sidney – “I don’t love her, you know.”
Charlotte – “You must not speak like that. She loves you and you have agreed to marry her. You must try and make her happy.”
When Sidney tells Charlotte that he is not in love with Eliza, what he is really saying is that he is in love with her. But for this new Charlotte, it is all too painful to hear and she stops him before he declares his love. As Elinor so neatly declared in Sense and Sensibility, “to wish is to hope, and to hope is to expect,” and Charlotte cannot afford to wish that Sidney was still hers. It’s fitting then, that when Charlotte once again begins her journey home to Willingden she does not look back. A woman of sense has no place for such sensibility after all.
#sanditonmetacollab#sanditon meta#sanditon#sense and sensibility#jane austen#andrew davies#charlotte heywood#sidney parker#rose williams#theo james#mine
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Five Burning Questions: Harry Styles Earns His First Hot 100 No. 1 With 'Watermelon Sugar'
During a pivotal year of his solo career, Harry Styles has notched another monumental achievement: his first No. 1 single on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.
As “Watermelon Sugar,” the standout track from Styles’ sophomore solo LP Fine Line, lifts 7-1 on this week’s Hot 100 tally, Styles tops the chart for the first time, after previously reaching a No. 2 peak as a member of One Direction. After starting his solo career with his classic rock influences on his sleeve, Styles has become a fixture at pop radio in 2020, with both “Watermelon Sugar” and “Adore You” becoming ubiquitous top 10 hits this year.
How shocking is the ascent of “Watermelon Sugar”? And what could the song mean for Styles’ future at the Grammy Awards? Billboard staffers answer these questions and more below.
1. On a scale of 1-10, how surprised are you that “Watermelon Sugar” is the song to finally give Harry Styles his first Hot 100 chart-topper?
Andrew Unterberger: Three months ago, it would've been a 10 for sure. Types of songs that don't usually go to No. 1 in 2020: fourth official singles, songs that have already dropped off the Hot 100 for multiple months after debuting, rock (or at least rock-based pop) songs. "Watermelon Sugar" was each of 'em, and even as recently as last week, I'd have been, like, an 8 about it going all the way to No. 1 -- even with a viral video, good audio-only streaming numbers and huge radio support, it seemed to have hit a ceiling outside the top 5. But a concentrated fan campaign and some good chart timing have put it over the top, and maybe I shouldn't be so surprised by that in 2020 after all.
Jason Lipshutz: I’d give it a 7 -- not because of any deficiency or quirk with the song, but because of its circuitous route to the top of the Hot 100 chart. Styles performed “Watermelon Sugar” for the first time on Saturday Night Live on Nov. 16, 2019, and released music videos for three other Fine Line songs before finally returning to it in May. That’s an incredibly slow burn -- to provide some context, “Watermelon Sugar” was released the same weekend as the ill-fated Charlie’s Angels reboot! -- and an unlikely path to pop ubiquity, to say the least.
Joe Lynch: I guess 9? It's super catchy and easy to get into, but it's just not the vibe of most 2019-2020 Hot 100 toppers – although given that Taylor Swift's "Cardigan" cozied up to the top slot last week, perhaps we're at a point in the pandemic where people are specifically turning to something that's a far cry from the top 40 norm for a break in monotony.
Lyndsey Havens: I'd say a 6. Three years ago (and still today) I thought that "Sign of the Times" could have and should have topped the chart, and then I thought that "Adore You" might finally do the trick. But people do say "third time's the charm" for a reason, and it makes sense that, after two strong top 10 singles, the continual growth of Fine Line well into 2020 and the strong promotional push, that this summer-ready, breezy pop-rock track has claimed the chart's top spot.
Stephen Daw: I'm clocking in at a solid 5 — it's surprising (to me, at least) that it took Harry Styles this long to log his first No. 1, but as soon as I heard "Watermelon Sugar," I was confident that, if a song off of Fine Line was going to reach the top of the Hot 100, it would be this one.
2. The success of Styles’ second album, Fine Line, has been one of the biggest stories in mainstream pop this year -- the album is still in the top 10 of the Billboard 200 chart eight months after its release. Why do you think Styles’ sophomore solo LP has resonated so well this year?
Andrew Unterberger: I wish I knew -- as do record company folks around the world, I imagine. It's a very good album and Harry is an extremely likeable star, but nothing about an album that feels largely like a tribute to '70s pop-rock and post-peak Paul McCartney would've struck me as an album to take him to that next level of stardom. He's just a star -- one with a big-enough gravitational pull to bend the mainstream to him -- and I won't underestimate him so easily again.
Jason Lipshutz: In 2020, artists like Dua Lipa, Lady Gaga, Selena Gomez and 5 Seconds of Summer have all released top-notch pop full-lengths... but I have returned to Fine Line more than any of them. Part of that has to do with its sense of uplift and enthusiasm during a particularly trying year -- shout-out to “Treat People With Kindness” for snapping me out of some grade-A funks -- but Fine Line’s songs are stronger than those of Styles’ self-titled debut, the pacing is immaculate, the hits are far more effective and Styles is more comfortable in his own, ‘70s-pop-channeling skin. Fine Line is part throwback, part comfort food, part magnetic artistic presence, and remains an excellent front-to-back listen.
Joe Lynch: I think he's in a great spot in his career: not only has his 1D fan base embraced his maturing sound (which, to be fair, isn't a tough sell – this is very accessible pop-rock), but his gender-bending, classic rock-worshiping fashionista persona has expanded his listenership beyond the realm of card-carrying Directioners. Plus, it's an album that's crafted to last: this is meticulous studio pop that mostly eschews the tiresome trends and tricks most producers feel obligated to slap on a recording to make it feel “contemporary.” Fine Line occupies its own lane instead of competing against two-or-three new sound-alike albums a month.
Lyndsey Havens: Harry is the "perfect" pop star: his One Direction past earned him a built-in (and very dedicated) fan base, he’s mysterious enough but generous with his content, queen Stevie Nicks has become his number one fan, and, of course, he delivered an album filled with fantastic pop-rock hits and ballads. When Harry Styles arrived, fans had to adjust to Styles' sonic pivot. But by the time he delivered Fine Line, both Styles and his fans had matured -- and those pop-rock roots he planted years prior were in bloom. There was no adjustment period, and in my opinion, that allowed Fine Line to be immediately and repeatedly consumed.
Stephen Daw: There's a lot to be said for Harry's massive, mobilized fan base, and for his status as a burgeoning pop auteur in the modern era. But I think both of those facts only help uplift the fact that Fine Line is simply a great album. The songs aren't pigeonholed into one specific sound, yet they retain this classic, pop-rock finish to them that passes the minivan test; there's something for parents and kids in all of these songs.
3. Styles’ other Fine Line hit, “Adore You,” peaked at No. 6 earlier this year, and comes in at No. 12 this week. Are you a “Watermelon Sugar” person or an “Adore You” person?
Andrew Unterberger: I think "Adore You" is the better song, but I'm glad that "Watermelon Sugar" was the song to get him to No. 1. "Adore You" was the dead-center top 40 single -- and even "Falling" could've caught some post-"Someone You Loved" radio spillover -- but "Watermelon Sugar" is just pure Harry. He couldn't have asked for a better, more validating single to affirm his superstardom.
Jason Lipshutz: Hard to pick one, but give me “Watermelon Sugar” for the higher sing-along quality. Watching Styles perform Fine Line in its entirety at the Forum in Los Angeles last December included an arena of fans shouting “Watermelon sugar, HIGH!” -- and this was before the song was a chart-conquering hit. I suspect “Watermelon Sugar” is going to be a euphoric live staple in the coming years, which gives it the edge for me.
Joe Lynch: Definitely "Watermelon Sugar,“ a perfect, laid-back summer jam that gently uplifts without ever demanding attention. "Adore You" is solid but tailored for a specific topic, whereas "Watermelon Sugar" is the kind of softly buoyant treat that floats well in a variety of contexts.
Lyndsey Havens: I find it interesting that the two songs off Fine Line to stick around the chart's upper echelon are a bit similar-sounding. One of my favorite things about Styles is the risks he'll take, best evidenced by his debut solo single "Sign of the Times,” but also by Fine Line tracks like "Lights Up," "Falling" and "To Be So Lonely." But that's exactly what makes me a Harry Styles fan -- he's no one trick pony (insert joke about him heading in more than one direction), and while "Adore You" and "Watermelon Sugar" may not showcase his range, they've both become Styles standards for me. But to finally answer the question, I have to go with "Adore You" for the lyrics alone. I mean.... how can you compete, or argue, when he pleads like that?
Stephen Daw: They're both excellent songs, but if I had to pick, I'm partial to "Adore You." Sonically, the groovy bass line and stylized guitar riffs hit me right where I live. Lyrically, I respond a lot more to the "strawberry lipstick state of mind" than I do to something that "tastes like strawberries on a summer evening." But they both have strawberries in there, so it's a win either way!
4. Styles is now the second member of One Direction to score a solo No. 1, following Zayn with “Pillowtalk.” If you had to choose one of the other members -- Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson -- to someday score a No. 1 single, who would you put your money on?
Andrew Unterberger: Can't say the prospects for any of them reaching the Hot 100's peak are looking particularly robust right now, but if I had to choose one, I guess I'd say Liam. He has connections throughout the pop world that could result in him finding his way onto the right collab -- with buddy Post Malone, perhaps -- to find his way back to the top. Rooting for Louis, though! Go Louis!
Jason Lipshutz: I’m going to zag a little and go with Liam Payne, who scored an unexpected top 10 hit with the Quavo team-up “Strip That Down” and has been trying to recapture that magic in the years since. Payne’s solo debut didn’t offer any other standout singles, but he’s proven capable of headlining a rhythmic pop single that sticks around at radio, and I wouldn’t be shocked if he does so again over the next few years.
Joe Lynch: That's a tough question, because I could see Liam or Louis hopping on a track as a featured artist that goes all the way to the top. But if we're talking primary credited artist, it's gotta be Niall Horan, who has demonstrated probably the most solid catalog and sonic cohesion thus far of those three. Not saying it seems likely, but then again, when Fine Line dropped, who thought "Watermelon Sugar" would sweeten up the top spot on the Hot 100?
Lyndsey Havens: Justice for Niall's "No Judgement"! I played that song a lot when it first came out. But I actually think it's a smarter financial move to bet on Liam Payne, considering his strategy of collaboration. He's worked with Zedd, Quavo and Alesso, among others, and I wouldn't be all that surprised if in another year or so he lands on a track -- or a remix -- that shoots to No. 1 for the star power alone.
Stephen Daw: While Liam is the only other member to get one of his songs into the Top 10 of the Hot 100, I'm putting my chips down on Niall. Heartbreak Weather turned out to be a pretty fun record, and I remain convinced that "Black and White" is going to have a second life (much like "Watermelon Sugar”)!
5. Finish this sentence: at next year’s Grammy Awards, Harry Styles’ “Watermelon Sugar” will __________.
Andrew Unterberger: ...be shut out. It may score Harry his first nomination or two -- either solo or with 1D -- but considering how the Recording Academy has given him the cold shoulder so far, and seeing how overlooked he was even among this year's VMAs nods, I don’t know if I see him taking home his first Gramophone for it. (Uh-oh, looks like I'm easily underestimating him again -- never mind, I say the song sweeps.)
Jason Lipshutz: ...be nominated for record of the year, and Fine Line will be nominated for album of the year, and justice will have finally been served to Styles, who has yet to garner a single nomination over the course of his career. Will either win? It’s too early to say, but I like Fine Line’s chances at this point.
Joe Lynch: ...sow seeds of discontent; the Grammys will continue to ignore Harry Styles, and the fans will unleash their exasperation on Twitter with the machine gun-rapidity of a cartoon character spitting out watermelon seeds.
Stephen Daw: ...probably get nominated for record of the year. It would be worthy of a spot in the song of the year and best pop solo performance categories as well, but something tells me that if one of his songs were to be nominated for those categories, "Adore You" stands a better chance. While it would be great to see Harry win, if he were nominated in this category, he'd likely be going up against the likes of Dua Lipa, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, The Weeknd and/or Megan Thee Stallion, and I just don't think he'd be able to clinch the ROTY win with that kind of competition.
Lyndsey Havens: ...still taste like strawberries on a summer evenin’.
source: Billboard
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The last of the One Direction lot to release his debut album, Louis Tomlinson took his time making his first full-length.
"It's taken me the best part of four years to finish it, so naturally, you know, there's a lot of heart in it," he considers, "a lot of emotion, a lot of honesty I think. And the most important thing for me, whenever I'm writing a song, is that the lyrics are really important to me. I just want to make people feel something, and through honesty, that becomes a little bit easier, you know? So I feel like, hopefully, I've made an honest and interesting record."
A lot has happened for Louis in the past ten years. He was catapulted into stardom as part of One Direction in 2010, left that group in 2015, returned to The X Factor in 2018 as a judge, became a footballer for a bit, and sadly lost his mother in 2016 and sister Felicité in 2019. A lot of those themes make it onto 'Walls', the latter forming the lyrics for the record's lead single 'Two Of Us'.
"Honesty and vulnerability at times is relatable, and it's important sometimes talk about certain things. I'm always conscious of being as transparent as I possibly can to my fans and to any listener."
Of course, his first solo ventures, 'Just Hold On' with Steve Aoki and 'Back To You' with Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals, are miles away from the music he returned with in 2019, but he maintains the change of direction was for the best. "I just don't think that those songs are true to the artist that I want to be. Although they were right to me at the time, if you put them in the middle of this album, they would definitely stand out."
Where Harry's albums channel 70s rock and artsy pop, Niall's debut had the singer/songwriter vibe a la Sheeran and Capaldi, and Liam and Zayn opted for chart-friendly R&B pop, on 'Walls', Louis goes back to his roots, doing his best to emulate the Northern indie rockers he grew up on. "I feel like a lot of influence happens subconsciously. It's what you're listening to at the time or what you've grown up with. In terms of who I look up to, Alex Turner and the way that he writes as a lyricist is incredible, especially in the early Arctic Monkeys stuff. I always talk about Amy Winehouse's level of detail, again as a lyricist, and how descriptive she was was incredible. Obviously, I'm a massive, massive Oasis fan that goes without saying."
Chatting to Louis, it's easy to forget he was part of one of the biggest groups of all time, because he just comes across as a down to earth and, well, normal bloke. It's like seeing an old school friend in the pub and having a catch-up.
He's never lost his accent, and his dedication to his hometown of Doncaster is unmatched. He's returning to the Doncaster Dome on tour, was signed as a Doncaster Rovers player, and even in his early solo days, took Bebe Rexha to the Keepmoat Stadium for a video shoot.
"I always try and be as true to myself as I can. I've always been very aware of where I've come from, and very proud of where I've come from. I fuckin love Doncaster. My family still live there, I go there all't time, well, not all't time, but as much as I can. Those influences that I've grown up with were vital on my first album, they're definitely part of it's DNA.
"This was always where my heart lies. I mean, I spent most of my youth in Priory, back when it were ten quid all you could drink – which was fucking mint. That really pushed me towards big choruses and guitars, basically - you know, like a Catfish and the Bottlemen kinda record, that's the sound I really love."
Likening his experience of finding his feet after 1D's disbandment ("hiatus") to that of a brand new artist, it took Louis a while to get comfortable with the music he was making.
"A lot of developing artists when they first start their career, they spend two, three, maybe even five years in the background developing and waiting for that one moment, that one song, that one album. And I kind of had to live out that whole development period in the public eye. Naturally, after coming out of One Direction, it was a bit of improvising, a bit of trial and error and working out exactly who I should be as an artist. It took some time, I didn't want to rush it."
He did dip his toe into the songwriting waters during his time in 1D, if getting a writing credit on 37 of their songs counts as dipping a toe, but felt he needed time rediscovering himself.
"It was really important to me; it was only from the third album onwards that we really got trusted with having a real influence on the songwriting. It's something I'm really proud of, and they're definitely skills that have helped me in the solo career."
Funnily enough, One Direction's third album seemed to be the point where their music took a stadium rock-ish turn, which never really let up for the remainder of their career (see: 'Midnight Memories', 'Where Do Broken Hearts Go', 'Drag Me Down'). Maybe Louis always had those big choruses in him after all.
There are plenty of references to walls and fences on (aptly titled) 'Walls', which could easily be read as feeling like he needed to break out, but he says that's not necessarily what he means.
"I normally shy away from metaphor, but it was relevant in the song definitely. I'm sure that's how some people might interpret it. But it's more about general growth in life and any problems or mistakes that you make along the way. It's more about realising that, and I'm very proud of my One Direction roots, massively."
Strangely, he says joining One Direction humbled him. As a cocky teenager, being thrust into the spotlight and feeling like a small fish in a very large, Simon Cowell-controlled pond affected the boys in different ways.
"I was a bit of a show-off, really. I came into One Direction with a bit of an ego; I did think a lot of myself, I'm not gonna lie. It was quite a sobering experience. I was a bit of a show-off when I was a kid to be fair, like I love making people laugh and all that. I wasn't very hardworking. I'd say I'm hardworking now, but I definitely wasn't when I was a young lad."
And does he feel like he's changed much since finishing with the group five years ago?
"It feels like it did in One Direction, just a diluted version really. I'm lucky I still have a certain amount of hardcore fans who follow my every move. So in terms of the difference in like privacy and stuff, that hasn't really changed too much. But, you know, it is what it is. It's what I've signed up for, apparently."
It doesn't come across like the fame gets to him, perhaps in a way it has done in the past. He seems relaxed, confident, more candid than he was on any 1D press run (e.g., he's allowed to swear now), and like genuinely, despite everything, he's in a good place.
"I have the luxury of being a positive person and seeing the glass as half full. Whenever I reflect on those times of me feeling a little bit emotional, I always do see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just extending that idea that you know, trying to induce hope."
Louis Tomlinson's album 'Walls' is out 31st January.
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Xiao Zhan: Extraordinary Journey, Starting from This
Translator’s Note: This article comes from Harper’s Bazaar Oct 2019 Side Issue.
To Xiao Zhan, the Summer of 2019 was destined to belong to “The Untamed”. The drama’s popularity and high viewership garnered Xiao Zhan, who was the lead role in “The Untamed” as “Wei Wuxian”, the most attention of this summer. Our extraordinary journey shall stop its time in the summer. The Abu Dhabi Emirates Palace Hotel glistens under the brilliant sunlight. This grand palace, costing 3 billion USD, carries with it the lovely dreams of the United Arab Emirates (UAE), with hopes that it will become a local landmark building. Whereas for us, this is where we will start our extraordinary journey.
This summer was very hot, and there was not a single shower that was memorable.
We strolled on the Sir Bani Yas Island, the “Noah’s Ark” of Abu Dhabi, the capital of UAE, measuring 5,963km away from Beijing, with ground temperatures at 45°C.
If there were really a “Noah’s Ark”, it probably looked like Sir Bani Yas Island. It carried the hopes of the founding father of UAE – in its history, the clan family of UAE used their enormous wealth on this desert island and created the biggest wild animal reserve; they grew more than 3.5m fruit trees on this arid land and carefully cultivated them everyday; they brought in more than 30 different endangered species onto this island for release.
Xiao Zhan was just 20 meters away from a 4 day old giraffe calf. The young calf stumbled ahead, learning its steps. This was the first time Xiao Zhan was up close to a wild giraffe. Everyone was bending low and looking down, moving carefully and silently, so that we would not provoke the alert mother giraffe. The guide informed us that these seemingly gentle animals actually have a irritable temper, and an angry giraffe could easily kill a grown lion with their kicks. As our jeep got closer to them, the hidden giraffes became clearer, and we saw 5 to 6 adult giraffes surrounding the trees, quietly eating the leaves. Under the sunlight, Xiao Zhan slowly moved closer, until he was standing next to them, quietly observing them, and enjoying the rare peace and serenity of this summer.
“Packing my bags for an unknown journey”
The Summer of 2019 was destined to belong to “The Untamed”. This web drama, adapted from “The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation”, became one of the hottest topic online after a few days of broadcast. Xiao Zhan, who starred as “Wei Wuxian” in the drama, also became one of the hottest names of this summer.
The first time Xiao Zhan performed on stage was on X-Fire, a talent search show, as an amateur contestant. Thereafter, the first real big performance was when he was part of the performance for Zhejiang New Year Eve broadcast. After multiple rehearsals, as he stood onstage and the spotlights came on with a “pa” sound. Instantly, his mind went blank, and he said that his movements were entirely based on survival instincts.
“I remembered I was especially nervous, and when I was backstage, I was so nervous that I was shaking nonstop, I could not say a word. When the spotlights came onto us, there was one or two seconds of memory loss, as in my mind went blank. After that I had no choice, I saw that my teammates got into their positions, so I quickly walked to mine.”
To the amateur Xiao Zhan then, the entertainment business was all glitz and glory – an interesting world filled with the unknown. Only after he really entered the business, he realized that everyone had to put in a lot of effort in order to gain a little bit of attention. After entering an idol group, Xiao Zhan spent a great deal of effort practicing singing and dancing, wanting to use hard work to catch up with the others’ professional training – once he practiced until his toe nail came off, but even then, he never stopped. His character is warm but tenacious, when he encounters difficulties he rarely speaks of them, instead he will learn to cope, he always says “it will be fine after a night’s rest”, and continue to fight the next day. In 2017, he joined the production of two dramas consecutively, “Battle Through the Heavens” 《斗破苍穹》 and “The Wolf” 《狼殿下》. These two dramas opened the doors to an actor’s world to him. From the first scene until the last, from the winters of Shangri-La to the hot summers of the Elephant Mountains, his exhausted body could not contain his itching desire to become an actor. He was deeply fascinated by the roles and lives of the people in the scripts.
When he first received the script for “The Untamed”, Xiao Zhan felt that he was totally different from “Wei Wuxian”. Xiao Zhan is not a talkative person, instead, he is a very quiet person. When they were script reading for the first time, the producer was there as well, and Xiao Zhan had to continuously remind himself that “I am Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian is me, I am WeiWuxian, I am now a very lively talkative person, I have to make everyone adore me”. After establishing this belief, he blended into his character, and allowed the character’s emotions and his merge into one. After the broadcast of the drama, he himself would read reviews online – “It seemed like his smiles are different every time, possibly even his cries are different as well, did he design it as such?”
However, it is precisely that Xiao Zhan does not know all these techniques, but instead he blended into the role, and allowed the story to direct the character’s emotions, and used that character’s status and feelings in his acting.
Xiao Zhan said “The role is really very big, and the span is really long. Because when we shoot dramas, it is according to scenes, for example, the final scenes were shot like 2 days into the start of the shoot, and I needed to quickly get into the situation. And then the next day could be another different scene, switching back and forth, I would get into a confused state. I remembered the most anxious period was in Heng Dian, I would be drowsily doing my make up in the morning, after which I got pushed onto the bus by my assistant, dragged to the studio, start shooting, after that was done my assistant would say ‘We are OK with this side, let’s go to B group’. At that moment made me feel like ‘Am I alright? Is it alright performing this way?’, it was a very concerning period for me.”
But when it was time to shoot, another actor told Xiao Zhan that no matter what happened behind the scenes, as long as the director shouted “Action”, you need to adjust yourself to your best status, you need to give your greatest passion, because the audience will only see what is done after “Action”. Even if you are in low spirits that day, you might be going through the darkest days of your life, but once you are at the studio, standing in front of a camera, the director yelled to start shooting, from that moment on you are no longer yourself.
Xiao Zhan smiled as he said, “That’s cruel, but that’s an actor’s job.”
“I am not a brave person, but I need to become a brave person”
In the winds, a herd of antelopes and deer ran past us, Xiao Zhan grasped the dagger that signified strength and bravery, as he stood on the red rocks on the side of the cliff. The scenery before us are a rarity – it took billions of years of tectonic movements to create this miraculous sight. On an island in the Gulf of Arab, there actually exists such an alien sight. In order to get to this cliff, you need professional guides and you need to climb up and down for half an hour or so. The usually quiet Xiao Zhan also exclaimed “So beautiful!” in spite of himself. We could use an unknown adventure to describe life – the more mysterious it is, the more you want to explore.
Xiao Zhan said that he is not a brave person, but it is life required him to become braver – only the brave can face all of the unknown and mysteries in an unknown adventure. Previously, he had to face the transition from an amateur to an artist, the adjustment from a commoner’s life to a life under the bright spotlights of the stage; now he faced the tight scrutiny of his life under the spotlight.
After the end of shooting of “The Untamed”, many felt that Xiao Zhan became more lively than before, and he spoke more often. In the past, he was always uncomfortable facing strangers, but now he will use a very active attitude to communicate with others, in hopes of receiving more information from that. The role not only gave him more attention, it also gave him strength and growth.
For his future planning, he laughed as he said that he had not decided. He was just passionate about acting and hoped that he could move ahead in the path of becoming a good actor, one problem at a time, and become braver and stronger. He felt that this is not just about himself, many of his friends and young people are the same – undaunted by the difficulties in life, and become stronger as a result. This is like the antelopes who are almost being baked under the intense heat of the desert, unafraid of the sun, sprinting ahead, never looking back.
“No one will like you for no reason”
Xiao Zhan’s father once said this “No one will like you for no reason, if someone likes you, you have to cherish that person’s feelings.” Xiao Zhan truly believes in this.
In his youth, Xiao Zhan liked Stefanie Sun, and went to her concerts and album sales events. He hoped that he could catch a glimpse of her from afar, watch her shine onstage, immerse himself in her voice, and learn from her, become a better person, become a star who could shine for another person. He said that that was how the youth of his era fan an idol. The idol is a truly an idol, the motivation to encourage himself forward. Now, he cherishes all of his fans’ love for him, and he does not reject the term “traffic” – this is a term that many would avoid. (TN: Traffic is a term that is used in China to describe idols with a lot of fan following.)
“You might feel that traffic is not good, right? Feel that traffic is another derogatory term? Actually I feel that traffic is quite fine, of course the term to me means that a lot of people know you, like you, I feel that’s a good thing. At least I feel that no one can be high traffic forever, what’s most important is how you handle it, how you face the traffic, and let this traffic become a motivation to move forward, I think this is very important.”
He hopes that he can translate the love from his fans to become his motivation to move forward. An actor could depend on a popular drama to quickly accumulate fame and attention, but the art of performance requires professional training and experience accumulation. Xiao Zhan’s favorite actress is Zhou Xun. When he spoke of her, his tone utterly reveals him as a fanboy, “I don’t know how she evolved to this.” Our answer was simple, time and talent, both of which you cannot do without. Talent will help your potential in the domain of acting, and if fate ordinates, help you grasp the opportunities that knock on your door. Whereas time is the sharpening stone, every minute and second spent on the acting career will show itself in the performances thereafter.
“There are no small roles, only small actors.” Staying true to his original intentions and initial thoughts, doing his best in his own profession, seriously working hard in the acting domain, he will eventually find his own place.
Xiao Zhan said, “In this era where traffic comes and goes, staying true to myself, staying real, I feel this is the eventual goal. But it is so difficult to do this.”
Wish him well.
Q&A
Q: Before you came to Abu Dhabi, what you did imagine it to be? A: The image I had was that, endless deserts and wilderness, soaring majestic buildings.
Q: When you knew that our journey is somewhat similar to an adventure, being with animals, what did you imagine it to be? A: I thought about it. Something like African savanna, sort of like animal migration, herds of animals moving past you, especially spectacular. However, the animals on the African savanna are wilder, over here, the wild animals are mostly the gentler antelopes, giraffes.
Q: In your personal life, are you a person who also likes adventures? A: Yes, I can be considered as such.
Q: When there are many things that the results are unknown, does that excite you? A: If there are many things in my life that I already know the results, my interest in the new and unknown will wane. I prefer not knowing the results, there are many paths to take, and the destinations could all be different, this makes me feel more excited.
Q: So in your imagination, Abu Dhabi suits your sense of unknown? A: Yes. It is just very mysterious, a feeling of an unknown land, to be explored, and full of endless treasures.
Q: There are so many animals on the island of Sir Bani Yas, which do you want to contact or wish to take a picture with? A: The giraffes. To be able to take a picture with them, to get up close with them, I just feel this is very exciting. I have never had the opportunity, I used to only go to the zoo. Being able to contact animals in the wild is very rare.
Q: This time you were able to look into a giraffe in the eye, how did you felt? A: Just that I am able to look at it in the eye.
Q: Aren’t you afraid of giraffes? A: I am not afraid, I feel that giraffes are quite cute, why do I need to be afraid of it?
Q: They are quite strong. A: The giraffes?
Q: Did you know that in the culture of Abu Dhabi, daggers signify strength. In the ancient times, the Emirates used them as a self-defense accessory. Their founding father, Sheikh Zayed, almost wore one for half his lifetime, and daggers are found in many of his portraits. Even now, the young Emirates frequently wore them in public. A: The sign of bravery and strength. Actually, when I saw this dagger, I felt that it gave me bravery and strength, the start of an adventurous journey.
Q: Holding the dagger and walking along the cliffs, how did it feel like? A: Wow, every inch of this land is mine, I felt that I could jump down that cliff, there was nothing to fear. Especially when the wind came and blew open my windbreaker, it was especially refreshing.
Q: What did is the biggest feeling this journey gave you? A: Actually, not many people understood Abu Dhabi, after I came here, I was surprised to find that there were many beautiful scenery and interesting cultural traditions, and the underlying adventurous spirit within. It is like a pair of eyes, showing us new discoveries. Actually, the interesting discoveries that we don’t usually find in our daily lives, and this journey is tinted with the colors of adventure and mystery, makes me feel very excited. This city, it has its own cultural background, the collision with new things, is a very wondrous feeling.
Q: If your friend wants to go to Abu Dhabi for an adventure, what recommendations do you have? A: Actually there are plenty. I feel that if the friends around me were to come to Abu Dhabi, they have to experience the unique Arabic culture, the buildings here and their totems, I feel that these have special meanings. Those of my friends who loves art can go to Abu Dhabi Louvre. And there’s one more thing that cannot be missed, that is the adventurous journey to get in touch with nature, I feel this is especially great. Abu Dhabi’s deserts and islands, will really satisfy your adventurous desires to explore the world, you can look up and see the flying saker falcons, then look down to see the running antelopes and cheetahs, and turn around to see the giraffes standing behind you.
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