#last week was pretty rough ngl so now that things are finished he wanted to check in and make sure i'm not feeling burnt out

[girls-and-honey]

:')

[bloodycassian]

HARSH - Anon request reader x azriel

“ hey there , ngl i’ve had a pretty rough week and now in desperate need for angst to fluff, az x reader where reader had struggles talking through her life bc of a rough childhood and az helped her talk freely and helped her gain confidence when talking. Reader is talking abt something she loves and az is stressed and tells her to shut up and hurts reader alotttt but….. we can’t have a sad ending, fluff and cuddles after :)) “

"Keep going." He encouraged with a smile, his shadows tickling your cheek. It made you shy away, but you continued your story anyway. The book's pages didnt tremble when you held them anymore. You could see the pride shining from him with every new paragraph you read aloud.

  Reading was always step one of your consulting with him. It opened the connection you shared with him and his past. The poems or stories were never too long, but always held some significance to either of you. Usually the ones he read when you took turns were about darkness, or fire. Never about the hostility of others and the cruelty of nature. Nature was a relief to him in his past. In yours it was a punishment. 

Your families last words to you were as brutal as they had been your entire life. "Leave and dont come back." with nothing more than a satchel of silvers and coppers, you had no other choice than to fight to survive against the cold of winter court. Then you started travelling, far and wide. Until you met Az. 

The rest didn't matter after you met him. He was yours, and yours his. And that was the only thing you needed from then on. His chosen family welcomed you in with a loving embrace. and you learned a new kind of love. One full of understanding and patience. 

you finished your poems together and talked as long as you could before he got called away to a meeting with the high lord. You assumed it was about the forces to the east as he had mentioned earlier that week. But you left him to it, not wanting to have him more stressed than he'd already been about the threat that week. 

+ You rejoined him again in his room. You'd made both of you a cup of tea for winding down. He didn't take it when you offered, so you set it down on one of the few empty spaces on the enormous table in his room. He seemed flustered, poring over the map on his table beside a half polished sword. The dark marks under his eyes indicated another rough night. "You should rest." You said softly. He didn't move. Didn't even tear his eyes away from the map.

You stared at it with him, noting the natural limitations of troop movements. "You could get Illyrians to fly over..." You suggested, but to no response. Nerves twisted your gut. Whatever had him in such a locked state was something you likely should be worried about as well. 

His cold stare was like the one he wore on the battlefield. Some internal blocking to cope with the horror. You noted the worn book under his clenched fist. One of the ones he'd read from before. Many of its verses were about a quality of males, the infamous duality of man. How precious life was in the balance of good and evil.

You saw the doubt there in his eyes then. The anger, the guilt of everything he'd ever done in his centuries of life. The blood spilled, the words that left people broken that could never be taken back.

You desperately wanted to snap him out of his dismal state. You pulled at his arm, trying to get him to break the lock he had on the corner of the map. He didn't budge. Frustration began building deep inside you. You knew he wouldn't let you sit in silence like this. What would he do for you? 

You picked up an indicator from the map, and spun it. "Az, staring will not help it. You need rest." He was locked in though, in a trance almost. The concern pushed harder into you. Were you to get Rhys? You'd never seen Az so... cold before. With you he was always a welcoming open lover. Never this... closed off. 

His shadows slowed, but he didn't move. his eyes scanned the paper from up to down, over and over again. You rubbed your eyes. "When I was small, I would stay up late reading. Very late. My family would-"

"Just shut up for two seconds, I'm trying-" He sighed, his face going red. The fist on the book curled around it's spine. Whit knuckles bulging out. 

You blanched and stepped back. Stunned at the aggressiveness of his words. He finally looked away, his mouth pinching into a thin line at the sight of your wide eyes. He abandoned the table finally, and reached for you. His scarred hands trembled slightly. The tiredness left his features. Only regret was left there. 

You didnt know what to do. Your mind raced with the rejection. The aggression of his words. You turned and strode out of the room, shaken.

+ He found you deep in the library after giving you a few to cool down. Giving himself the verbal lashing of a lifetime. That accompanied with Clotho's harsh glare.... he didn't know if he'd ever live the words down.

He approached you slowly. As if he were approaching a spooked animal. "I'm fine." You announced. And truly, you were. You had gone to the library because it was a safe spot for you, where you could practice your breathing alone. 

You knew he didn't mean to hurt you. You knew he'd had a rough week. It wasn't an attack against you. You told yourself those affirmations over and over but they still didn't fully settle you. His presence was unmistakable. You knew he'd been beating himself up over the harsh words too. 

That didn't make you feel better though. You gave him a slight nod and he took the seat across from where you were curled up. You hoped he didn't notice the red spottiness of your cheeks, or the way your eyes were red rimmed.  By the tension in his body though, you knew he saw through your act. 

He sat at the edge of the lounge chair across from you. His looked absolutely ragged. His hair was a mess, the dark circles were back under his eyes that held all the regret in the world. "I am so sorry." He started, those dark brown eyes boring into yours. "I will never do anything like that again. I promise. I am so sorry." He continued, wringing his hands. "I dont know why I -"

"Stop..." You said, voice shaking. He obeyed, and tried to hide his own emotion. "Just.." You sighed, walked around the small table separating you and took his hands, wrapped them around your middle and sat in his lap. He held you, rocked with you while you took in his scent. The mix of it with the smell of the books was like a heavy blanket over you.

You didn't remember him taking you back to your room. But when you woke, there was a cool glass of water on the bedside table with a fresh vase of flowers. Az quietly snored beside you, blanket pulled up to his chin. 

You took a sip of the water and returned to him, wrapping yourself around his wings and sharing your body heat together in the cool room. He muttered once you settled. One small movement of his lips. "Love you..." 

[orphic-osamu]

Hello can I request “You bake when you're stressed and sometimes you give me cookies, but recently you're giving me whole baskets each day, now I'm not complaining but are you okay?" au w/Akutagawa? Congrats on 800 🎉🎉😊!

title > fresh cookies

genre > fluff

wc > 1.3k

song > out like a light ii

a/n > hello i’m so sorry i took so long. few things about this: imo it’s vv sloppy n frankly i think i shouldn’t have posted this but i didn’t wanna keep this sitting in my inbox for longer. akutagawa is ooc here? bc ngl don’t feel like doing a whole mafioso vibe for him rn, so he’s a soft boy here. i will fix the template of this post tomorrow

— AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE —

when akutagawa first made cookies, they were quite horrible. some pieces were burnt, some tasted like rocks, and some had hardened into a weird, melted shape. he’s never cooked or baked, let alone make a full batch of cookies. however after meeting you, the cute baker across the street, he figured he’d try it out to impress you. the first try made him scowl for days after gin giggled and told him that they were barely edible.

the second time akutagawa made cookies, gin had invited you over without him knowing. you caught him in the midst of trying the treat fresh from the oven. his face twisted in disgust and he rushed to spit out the remnants of the cookie. he didn’t even see you reaching to grab one off the tray. when he realized, it was too late. grimace was written all over your face as an awkward hello slipped out of your mouth. akutagawa flushed red. how was he supposed to impress you now?

“i don’t think you put sugar, akutagawa-san.”

from across the room, gin laughed at your comment. “he’s been trying to bake cookies over and over again, he just can’t get it right.”

akutagawa wished that the ground would open up and swallow him whole right then and there. he was already so embarrassed and gin just loved to make it worse. he expected you to laugh at him, call him stupid for not being able to make such a simple delicacy.

“would you like me to teach you?”

there was visible surprise struck across his face at your suggestion. his fingers pulled on the edge of his sleeve as he fiddled with it back and forth.

“o-okay,” he stammered.

the third time akutagawa tried to bake cookies was the morning after his embarrassing encounter with you. he stood anxiously by the kitchen counter, his fingers dancing around to ease his distress.

“where’s your apron?” you asked, reaching into your bag to wear your own.

“apron..?”

akutagawa couldn’t bring himself to say he didn’t have one. you smiled knowingly at him, pulling out an extra you had. “it’s not like you have to wear one, but it puts you in the spirit, y’know?”

he wasn’t sure if he agreed. especially when the one you gave him was frilly, streaked with red and white flowers. nonetheless, he wore it. perhaps the apron was the secret to making a successful batch of cookies.

“do i look silly?” he asked, seeing your grin turn teasing more than assuring.

“mm, a little, but you still look good.”

his body flared red. admittedly, it was flustering, but if it meant seeing you smile, he supposed it was worth the trouble.

you hovered over his shoulder throughout the entire baking process, helping out here and there (like saving him from switching up the salt and sugar). until finally, all that was left was to leave them in the oven to bake.

“so, why’d you suddenly go on a cookie craze?” you leaned against the counter, trying to rest your body whilst waiting for the timer to go off. the boy fussed around with the straps of the apron, itching to take it off.

“uh, it just seems like a fun thing to do.” it wasn’t entirely true, but it’s not like he could openly say he wanted to make you a batch and pose as an expert baker to possibly strike up a conversation with you. though after you taught him, he decided that baking was enjoyable, and was definitely something he’d do again.

after that, you two settled into comfortable conversation. drowning in laughter and stories to the point where you hardly heard the timer going off. the cookies looked decent and akutagawa could only hope they tasted decent as he watched you take a bite. your eyes lit up in excitement, taking more and more bites off the cookie.

“is it good?”

you nodded, pushing him to try it too.

the next time akutagawa baked, he did it to take his mind off work. his blood was boiling and taking it out with the use of violence didn’t seem to help. his movements were harsh and rushed as he mixed the ingredients. his mind was clouded with red and he barely stopped himself from pouring an entire bowl of salt into the mix. once he caught himself, he sighed and pushed everything aside.

his eyes shut as he took deep breaths to calm himself. he already learned how to make this exact same recipe from you, he didn’t want to mess up again. his mind drifted of into thoughts of you. the way you teased him by making him wear such a girly apron, to the soft tone in your voice as you reminded him to put sugar instead of salt.

feeling the haze clear up, he picked up the spatula and resumed, movements more relaxed and calm.

the fourth, fifth, sixth time akutagawa baked, was for the same reason as the last. with every time going almost exactly the same. rage making his hands tremble until he thinks about the sweetness in your aura when you helped him. and for every time, you and gin were the only people he gave the cookies too. with every batch came a conversation with you. and soon you learned the pattern.

whenever he’d have a rough day, he’d come and give you a freshly baked batch of cookies. pretty soon he begun baking other sweets. cakes, donuts and the list goes on. and you were there to try everything, to provide him with constructive criticism.

you didn’t mind at all. if this was his way of relieving stress, then so be it. not only did you get treats from it, but you also got the baker behind them to come and talk to you. it’d happen at least once a week, usually on a sunday when he’s finished for the week. thus, you’ve learned to keep your sundays free just for when he comes by.

however one day, he baked a cake for you. and it wouldn’t be a problem if the following six days he didn’t come to give all sorts of things. he hardly noticed how drained he looked, and he would’ve gone baking for weeks straight if you didn’t ask him about it.

“are you alright? i know you use baking to cope, but you’ve been giving me so much every single day.”

“i am?”

the frown on your face tugged on his heart. you invited him in to sit down and relax for a bit, to talk about anything that was bothering him. but when he sat down, he couldn’t find the words. having you near him made everything dissipate into thin air, and suddenly nothing was wrong in the world.

“so? what’s wrong?”

he shrugged with a sheepish smile, “don’t quite remember.”

you sighed and shook your head. “but it helps when you bake, right?”

he nodded before averting his gaze from yours. all it once it hit him how close you were, and how he was sitting on your couch, in your cozy little place. his cheeks were painted red in embarrassment, causing him to shuffle away from you.

“and you don’t wanna talk about anything? you just wanna bake?”

he nodded again. another sigh left your lips. you tugged him off the couch and into the kitchen.

“well then, what are you waiting for? let’s bake. hmm, i saw this recipe and i wanted to try it out...” your words trailed off as he looked at you admiringly.

god forbid he say anything now. but maybe one day he’ll tell you. he’ll tell you about how baking isn’t so much of a reliever, and instead it’s the memory of you baking with him that came with it. maybe one day he’ll tell you that it wasn’t about making cookies, but rather seeing you get excited after he gives you a batch. that it wasn’t about learning new things, and more about the time he got to spend with you.

[marswritingss]

semi and tendou with a s/o who is feeling down

req: hii can you write headcanons on semi,tendou having a s/o who just has sad days without any reason?like they dont even want to leave their bed and its hard to get through the day take your time writing this pls i dont want u to feel overwhelmed ;*)

me: ofc! as i said before, i didn't really know if you requested this as an emergency request or not so i did so just in case,,, also tysm for request semi bc he's ony of my best bois (i was going to write something else but i just forgot lmao)

warnings: mmmmm well there's fluff,,, not a lotta angst imo but idrk

semi eita

– it’s your first year of high school when it starts.

– at first, it doesn’t happen very often.

– but eventually it’ll start happening more and more often.

– you’ll just wake up and think about anything and it just happens that you want to cry and bury yourself back in the bed.

– you somehow manage to handle it, and you get used to it.

– that’s when you meet semi from class 2 in your second year.

– he’s babey and always smiling to you and helping you and everything

– so when he asks you out, you’ve already had quite a crush on him, so you say yes.

– internally, you’re hesitant. does he really want to date you? you ask yourself. 

–but that day had been a nice day, you’ve had a 98% in an exam and your mind wasn’t fucking you up so you pushed the thought to the back of your head and accepted.

– so now it’s your third year, and oh oh, it’s finals week.

– you’ve been able to make it to most of the week, the only exams left are japanese literature and chemistry, and while literature wasn’t your best subject, you really liked chemistry.

– so, why were you feeling like crushing your head?

– you take a shower and brush your teeth hoping the feeling goes away. maybe it’s because you spent three hours last night with tendo and yamagata playing animal crossing? you’re not really sure

– but nope. the feeling doesn’t go away.

– so you just decide to skip breakfast because 1. the canteen is just too loud and 2. you already brushed your teeth

– when you don’t appear, semi gets worried. not a lot because he does know that it gets difficult sometimes, but he does worry.

– on finals week, the school gives third years have around half an hour before starting exams so they can study, but semi has already studied his stuff and he wants to find you, so he goes to your dorm, but you’re not there.

– he’s now more worried. you’ve had bad days, but when it happened you were either in your room or you messages him saying you weren’t feeling good.

“semi-semi~ what are you doing?” asks tendou when semi goes back to the students lounge. ushijima is with him, probably helping him revise for an exam he’s going to do by pure instinct.

“i can’t find y/n” he says, he sees tendou doing a round o with his mouth.

“if i remember well, i saw them heading to their class five minutes ago. have you looked there?” asks ushijima.

“oh, thanks wakatoshi” says semi, and heads to your class.

– he finds you trying to block your surroundings with a pair of headphones he had given you in your birthday.

“y/n? are you alright?” he asks. you’re not even revising, you’re just there, staring at nothing while listening to music. you probably don’t even hear him, so he taps you lightly in the shoulder, to which you jump a little.

“oh, hi eita.” you smile sadly.

– he just hugs you, and you just let yourself melt in his embrace, almost crying.

– he assures you it’s going to be alright, and stays there for the rest of the break. when the bell rings he’ll squeeze your hand and hug you again before assuring you you’ll do amazing.

– expect him to be waiting for you in front of your door when the day is over with snacks and a few movies so you can relax and cuddle.

– babyboy i love him so much

– he now sends you reassuring messages everyday

– like- everyday

– you also settle that, if it’s too much, he’ll take notes for you during class and after practice he’ll pass by and help you to feel better :))

– the end doesn’t make sense tf

tendou satori

– oh my baby satori

– he knows exactly how you feel

– he’s gone through pretty rough days

– and he also knows you enough to guess when you’re alright and when you’re not

– you’re usually, in contrast of his out going personality, really quiet, but still, he can differentiate between the good and bad quiet.

– so that’s why he worries when you don’t laugh at one of his puns at lunch and go back to your class after waving a good bye instead of the little peck you always give him

– he still has classes and practice before being able to talk to you, so he asks one of your friends to keep an eye on you

– ngl i don’t really know what am i writing anymore

– anyway

– so, after practice he sPRINTS to your room because he knows you leave your club activities half an hour before he does

– he finds you buried in your bed facing the wall, probably half asleep

– okay it’s not the time but i just bursted a vein thinking about you just asleep and he just awkwardly standing there like :// baby

– he wakes you up when he sees you’re in a really weird position and also because he wants to hug you 

– i wouldn’t doubt it if you had this system where he asks you how are you doing and depending on what number you say, he’ll do one thing or another

“y/n how are you doing now?” he asks when you see him crouched in front of your bed.

“i think it’s a 2.2” you say.

“oh, did you have to help that girl from english class?” he asks. 

“no” you say shaking your head “i almost cried in class though” you say. 

“oh” he says. he hugs you tightly before taking his phone from his pocket and open semi’s contact.

“what are you doing?”

“well, last time you told me you almost cried on class you got pretty bad, and i can’t leave you here alone, so i’ll just ask him to bring some of the snacks we keep in the shared drawer.”

– the ash haired boy ends up bringing a whole plastic bag with different types of chips as well as his laptop, and threats tendou with putting dye in his shampoo if he dares to tell anyone on the team about the folder full of cheesy movies he keeps secured in case shirabu steals his precious laptop. again.

– you end up falling asleep on his shoulder in the middle of the movie and he just watches you snort while turning off the computer.

– i don’t think he’d stay, since your dorm is on the other side of the residence, but i do believe he gets scolded by semi when he forgets his laptop in your room and arrives at his room with a half empty bag of onion flavoured chips.

– alright i think i’m going to finish this because i don’t like how it’s turning

– sorry for tendou’s part :((((((

[rogue-barnes-16]

BLUE

Summary: Y/n tries to bury her feelings after making a terribly bad decision about Bucky that destroyed what they had. It backfires in the worst possible way.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Genre: 90% angst

Tags:

Submitted for @blushycarol's writing challenge.

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language, makeout, implicit sex, feels™️

A/N: this is my prompted songfic for blushycarol's writing challenge! It took a turn like, ngl I did whatever the fuck I wanted with the song but it fits so there it goes, enjoy <3.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

We've broken up and now I regret it

I said goodbye when I shouldn't have said it

"I fixed your boy. He's awake now." She spoke through the wakandan device. "Figured you'd want to see him."

Yeah, it was the princess of Wakanda herself who decided to call me —not even Steve, me— to inform me that the man I loved had finally awaken.

A couple of hours later, T'challa did with Steve the same thing Shuri had done with me, and soon we both left to reach the hidden city.

We met with Bucky.

Steve cried a couple of times, Bucky laughed in a few occasions, and I stayed rather quiet almost the entire time.

After two days, Steve left with the promise of coming back, but I stayed just because I had missed him so much, I didn't feel like saying goodbye just yet.

Despite this, we didn't talk much in those months I had stayed with him. It wasn't like we spoke a lot before, but now it felt different.

I knew why; it was because of me. Because maybe, just maybe, I was terrified that this new version of him, that healed James Barnes, wouldn't love me like his broken self did.

We had reached a point where I didn't know what we were any longer, and I was 100% sure that the feeling was mutual, we were just too scared to talk it out.

I took the easiest, most despicable way and, one morning, I left Wakanda, hoping to spare my heart and breaking his in the process.

A week later I was back, suited up and ready to fight the deadliest threat I would have faced in my whole life.

I survived.

Bucky didn't, and the only thing I could think was that had lost him, and the last words I said to him were 'this is over, I'm leaving you'.

Five Years Later

I even cried but I never meant it

And I don't know why but I can't forget it, forget it

When Fury paired us to go on a mission, I thought it would be easy due to the action, but it turned out to be a watch, and suddenly everything was ten times more difficult.

We had been in silence for at least a long, tedious hour, in a dark room with two windows, waiting for the target to appear, when Bucky spoke.

"Is it true?" I, pretty much confused, turned my head to him, whose eyes were already on me, his back reclined against the wall before me. "that you cried for me." his voice held kinds of fear that I had never heard in him.

"who told you that?" I inquired, starting to get anxious because no one was supposed to know that; no one had seen me breaking down every night for months because of him.

"Steve." he replied, digging his eyes on mines. "Did you?"

My fight or flight instincts made me shook my head no as an initial response, only because of the sudden panic flooding through my veins. "I mean yes- I- no I mean I- I cried for everyone and I just... it-" I attempted to calm myself down before letting out a propper sentence. "it meant nothing. I did, I just didn't... I felt guilty" I finished, my heart racing and pounding as if it would leave my chest. "for everyone I couldn't save."

He didn't say anything else, nor did I.

After our short chat everything was even worse, because I was no longer focused now that the sorrow I had felt those nights was replaying in my head non-stop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gimme love, gimme dreams, gimme a good self esteem

We remained distant, but at some point, Bucky started to compliment me, to make nice comments, to give me quick smiles and fast 'thank you's, and I would be lying if I said I didn't treasure them.

"You look... great." He'd shyly say whenever I got dolled up.

"Great shot" he would state breathless, passing me by during a mission, to which I would just nod. "Thank for having my back."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Your hair..." he once trailed off with a frown, resting his elbows over the counter.

"yeah, I needed a change." for a second, the part of me I had hidden crawled up to the surface and I asked. "You... Don't like it?"

"No- I mean yes- I- I really like it." he assured me with bittersweet smile. "It fits you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gimme good and pure, what you waiting for?

Gimme everything, all your heart can bring

Something good and true

I don't wanna feel blue anymore

"Barnes and you." Sharon spoke, closing the pantry's door behind her.

"what?" I questioned, turning to her for a moment while she raised her eyebrow at me.

"what are you playing at, Y/n?" she asked, a bit of concern being noticeable in her tone.

We weren't close. No, no we hadn't grown closer, but I sometimes would sit right besides him during Saturday's take-out night, near enough for our thighs to brush.

I'd let him play with my hair from time to time, I'd allow him to come to my room in the middle of the night to lay with me after a nightmare here and there.

I wouldn't complain when his hands held my cheeks in the aftermath of a rough mission, his eyes scanning me with worry and sorrow while pain would most likely be rushing through my body.

I wouldn't scold him if he ever picked me up to carry me into the medical wing after I had gotten injured, even if I could walk. Maybe I would even cling on his neck, feeling his heartbeat fastening.

"We're not playing." I replied noctant, pouring four glasses of wine for all of us.

"Y/n" I sighed. "why are you doin' this to him? You're gonna hurt him and you."

"I don't wanna feel blue." I confessed in a mutter. "no one'll get hurt, I just... Need what he gives me."

Sharon stared at me dumbfounded for a couple of seconds before shaking her head and leaving, mumbling something my ears couldn't catch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gimme one more night

One last goodbye

Let's do it one last time

Let's do it one last time

One more time

It was during Sam's birthday that I gathered the courage to do what I, deep inside, so badly wanted to do.

I saw my opportunity the moment Bucky approached the barcounter to grab some random drink.

I left mine on a shelf and rushed to reach him and I passed by him, but on my way out of the room, my hand discreetly found his and tugged him with me.

I didn't stop until we reached the nearest room , which happened to be the bathroom.

Without a word, I got him inside and closed the door, backing against it and, with his fingers still intertwined with mine, I pulled Bucky into a kiss.

He stopped after a few seconds. His eyes were sad as he gazed into mines, and I felt a lump in my throat.

"I..." my attempt to speak triggered my tears, and his response was to cares my cheeks and peck my lips.

The terror I had felt 5 years ago of me not being good enough for him to love me anymore came back. My heart pounded against my chest, the voice in the back of my head simultaneously begging me to stop.

"I need this... Just..." I fisted his shirt, bringing him closer to me. "one last time... Please I-"

"are you drunk right now?" he questioned, putting a strand of hair away from my face.

"No." I half lied, pulling him to me into a needy kiss which quickly escalated.

No, I don't love you

No, I don't care

I just want to be held when I'm scared

And all I want is one night with you

Just 'cause I'm selfish

I know it's true

What had happened in the party was never spoken about, nor mentioned.

We had swept it under the rug for both of our sakes —mostly for mine.

We didn't sleep together again, but in very few occasions, I would end up tugging him to some dark place where we were alone and make out until I was out of breath.

Each time that happened, for some reason I didn't understand, Bucky always whispered me the same question.

"Do you love me?"

To which I answered a breathless, painful 'no' that would most likely end up crushing my heart because of the heavy weight that lie carried.

My nightmares at some point had gotten worse, now involving Bucky getting hurt almost every time, so, whenever I woke up in cold sweat with tears in my eyes, gasping his name, I would make my way to his room and lay down besides him.

He would wake up the moment my body touched the mattress, and, as soon as I was under the sheets, he would pull me into his chest with his arms around me, asking me the same question every time.

"what was it about?"

To which I selfishly responded with:

"don't wanna talk. Just hold me, please."

I'm sick of looking after you

I need a man to hold on to

I'm bored of everything we do

But I just keep coming back to you

The first time I snuck under his sheets I promised myself it would be just that one night, that I would allow myself to be so fucking selfish just for one night, but his embrace was so comforting, so welcoming, and his heartbeat and breathing were so soothing, that I ended up being selfish every damn time.

One night, instead of reaching his room scared and trembling, I reached it with anger and frustration taking over my body.

I shut the door loud enough to make him sit upright, staring at me concerned.

"I'm fucking tired of this" I growled. "I'm tired of this nightmares, I'm sick of seeing you dying, I'm fucking done with looking after you in every mission more than I look after myself" I reached a point where I was close to shout as I stepped to the bed. "I want this to fucking stop!"

"Y/n-"

"I can't keep up with this anymore, I'm going crazy because it's ALWAYS THE SAME SHIT."

"You're tired." he stated, climbing off the bed to hesitantly step to me. "You need to sleep."

"I need to fucking get this off my damn chest!" a choked sob escaped my lips. "I keep coming back to you and I hate myself because of this! Because this is my fault!"

"Y/n please..." he wrapped his arms around me and I fought him a little before giving in, breaking down to tears the moment he kissed my temple.

"I was so scared of you not loving me anymore that I fucked everything up" I managed to explain in a vague mumble between sobs. "You're okay and I was fucking scared of not being good enough- I still am... I just keep making it worse!"

He stroke my hair and pulled me even closer. "Doll..."

The door few open and I heard Sam's voice behind me. "What was that? Are you-" Bucky shook my head over me and signaled Sam to leave.

"I love you so much please I'm sorry" he pulled me to the bed without letting go of me and threw the blanket over us.

"I know you do." he assured me intertwining his fingers with mines and placing a kiss on my knuckles. "I love you. I always will." he whispered soothingly.

Gimme everything, all your heart can bring

Something good and true

I don't wanna feel blue anymore 

[dio-roga]

After years of stalling, this is finally seeing the light of day and thank actual jesus for that. There’s more fic out there than you’d think for the best boys, but like all things, sturgeon's law’s in effect when it comes to quality (big time actually, around 35 fics on this list from a rough 350 in existence). I read them all so you don’t have to.

Higher rank the better (though obviously YMMV) and the rest should just be ordered by word count. I have a place in my heart for everything on this list so no matter where it is or what I say about it, trust me, if it’s here, I think it’s worth your time.

Will do my best to keep things up to date. I F5 tabs like you wouldn’t believe. Love you guys ❤

[SSS RANK] ABSOLUTE TOP SHELF

ego, opinion, art & commerce 24parts

We hopefully all know it, we certainly all love it. The canon-compliant, rock-band road-trip AU that’s destined to rule the entire ship one day; the cryde child of prophecy. Go in hard and this’ll take you away like nothing else. The only thing not absolutely perfect about this fic is (like the rest of us) you’ll have to wait for the ending. I know waiting sucks, but please don’t let it stop you bingeing this story right now. I am not exaggerating when I say it’s better than most published books you’ll ever read.

let your heart hold fast niente

Literally the best finished cryde fic ever written as of time of writing this. The boys have grown up. Clyde’s a writer, Craig’s distant, and familiar circumstances bring them crashing back together. The cast of characters are a complete joy, it’s fully drenched in canon, and sports an amazingly rich post-series lore with all manner of cute nods and easter eggs for fans of the show. Nothing short of a masterpiece. Written with such love. Treasure your first read of it.

[SS RANK] AMAZING READS GAURANTEED

Pulling Mussels SekritOMG

A divisive fic maybe, but a classic all the same. Get ready for a fresh take on normal fic conventions to be sure. Personally? I’d consider it top shelf, no question. But to others? They might end up absolutely hating it. A strange midlife odyssey wherein a fed-up, lonely Craig begrudgingly reconnects with an out-of-shape, stagnated Clyde. Memorable to say the least, packed to bursting with detail and personality; go in with the right mindset and its glorious set pieces with burn themselves into your memories. Possibly the fic I’ve re-read the most ever.

Darkness Falls Vampiracy

Do you like cute, gorgeously written things? Set during the three days of Stick of Truth, it tells the behind-the-scenes story of Craig’s growing infatuation with the Lord of Darkness. Everything about this is clever and charming and just generally heart-warming. Best read after playing the game for maximum enjoyment, feel smart and accomplished as you pick out all the references. This fic’s adorable and pure and can do no wrong. 

Chicken Vampiracy

The gateway fic? Huge question mark? This story is cryde personified. Like the author distilled the ships very essence into this amazingly funny and light-hearted story about the boys playing the world’s most drawn out game of gay chicken. It’s impossible not to love this story, it’s perfect for what it is, and will leave you feeling happy by the end every time. What more could you want? Show this one to your friends and they’ll finally ‘get’ cryde.

the remains of our sky traiyadhvika

I’ll level with you fam, this story will emotionally cripple you, prepared or not. The writing is precise, sublime, and utterly heart-breaking. It tells the story of how Craig deals with the aftermath of Clyde’s death on Everest. Obviously a heavy topic, but I can tell you with complete confidence that this fic not only does the subject matter justice, but also manages to tell a story of love and hope despite it. Like Butters said, it’s a beautiful sadness. This fic had me obsessively researching mountains for weeks, and anything that can light that kind of fire in you is something special.

C & C, The Mystery Duo Darkyfoot

There is nothing in here but pure fluff, joy and happiness. This story will lighten your soul and brighten your heart. It tells the tale of the boys discovering a life-long obsession for hunting mysteries, and will resonate with anyone who’s ever held a strong passion in their lives (which is probably most of you, if you’re hunting down SP fics to read). The written equivalent of a warm blanket and a steaming hot mug of cocoa on a cold winter’s night.

[S RANK] THE REALLY GOOD STUFF

Equality Donkerblauw Fluweel

A good chill-out fic? Cataloguing a series of parties over the summer in which Clyde starts cozying up to Craig after much alcohol is consumed; and like a good drink, the fic mixes all its elements together nicely. It’s nothing ground breaking, but it’s got a super relaxing flow to it, and will brighten your mood by the end. It nails the party atmosphere, so if you’ve got no-where to go this Friday night, maybe pour yourself a little something and give this one a read.

Craig Likes Vanilla (Ice Cream) themuffintitan

The cuteness equivalent of porn. If you’ve got a list of cliché ‘aww’ scenarios, chances are they’ll play out in this fic. If hand holding and sharing an ice-cream make you melt (hahanotfunny) then this one’s definitely for you. For a fairly simple story about Craig and the squad visiting a waterpark, it’s remarkably detailed (check that word count fam), and has a killer summer atmosphere to boot. It certainly made me hit up a park last July. The writing does let it down in a few areas, but overall you’ll probably be too busy enjoying the ride to notice.

The Silent Lie Donkerblauw Fluweel

Guilty pleasure? Okay you caught me red-handed. This fic’s practically porn. Read all about how Clyde learns to surrender his heterosexuality as Craig massages away all his football injuries in the steamiest way possible. If I’m being totally honest? The story’s pretty obviously there to frame the smut, and writing can be a bit all over the place. But I can’t deny it just works. It’s hot AF. Come here for the sexies and you won’t leave disappointed. Read it after dark. ;)

Press Play flappySp00kster

Arguably unfinished, but the only thing missing is apparently a mostly superfluous epilogue. We’re in full AU territory here as Clyde hooks up with Craig on a dating app during a rough-patch with his long-time, and now ex, girlfriend. Your mileage may vary obviously as the story’s not canon compliant; however the boys behave like you’d imagine and the romance is nicely fleshed out and unique. Bonus points for a bit of kink in the sex scenes, which is rarer than you’d expect for this ship.

What Happened in 1637 pinkfloyd1770

One of the most strikingly unique stories out there; it’s essentially a flower shop AU in which Clyde embraces his Dutch heritage and sports and encyclopedic knowledge on tulip facts. Written in medias res during a seemingly long since established relationship with Craig, this fic merely offers a look into this unique take on the couple as they go about their lives. The detail is stunning, and you’ll find vivid mental pictures coming to life in every scene. If you can get past the fact Craig bottoms (let’s pretend he was feeling generous that evening) then you’ll certainly be charmed with this one. (1637 is the year the tulip bubble finally popped. In case you were wondering.)

Around My Head wendybirb

Are you looking for something that’s light and fluffy? Maybe you like reading Clyde’s inner monologue as he fumbles around high-key pining over his best friend? Perfect, sign yourself up to this fic; it’s a quick and easy read that’ll give you your daily dose of wholesomeness from one of my favorite authors. Nothing overly flashy or complicated here, just boys being cute and kissing.

hey there demons traiyadhvika

This spooky affair is thankfully a lot less of an emotional roller-coaster than it’s cousin ‘remains of our sky’, but that’s not to say it doesn’t grab you and refuse to let go. Have you ever wondered what Craig and Clyde would be like trying to host one of those dorky haunted house shows? Bonus points in that Craig can legitimately see ghosts? It’s a fresh concept that’ll really get your mind racing with the cutest hosts you could ask for. Kept me glued to my seat, ready to throw down if any bad spirits came between the best boys. Slept with the hall lights on for a couple nights ngl.

As Good a Reason as Any Vampiracy

The last of the sacred trinity that also includes Chicken and Darkness Falls, the only reason this fic isn’t ranked higher is because it’s also the authors shortest. Watching Clyde try anything and everything to spend more time with Craig is as endearing as it sounds, and the only thing that sucks is that it doesn’t overstay its welcome; when honestly, you’d like the fic to stay for dinner and spend the night. Quality everything. No joke made my heart flutter. Read it and know true happiness.

Kiss It Better dokidave

A one and done story of Craig trying to cheer Clyde up after a difficult day. This fic’s a nice double whammy if you’re looking for some hurt and comfort mixed in with some steamy sex scenes. It delivers exactly what is says on the box; don’t expect too much in the way of plot of development, but certainly feel free to gush over the sappy sweet character moments. A good pick-me-up fic if you’re having a lousy day.

Take a Chance (You Say It's Your Birthday) Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

So here we have Craig being drunk and vulnerable, while Clyde’s radiating raw sexuality as he dances for Craig’s camera. I’m usually all about Craig giving off that top energy, but the way this story frames (hahakillme) the whole dynamic is very soft and endearing; you can fully understand why Craig’s the one feeling thirsty this time around. This is a fic that really knows how to set a mood. Read it and feel like you’re being pampered.

You Make It Easier glowworm888

Pure comfort; Clyde’s feeling understandably miserable about the thought of growing up without his mom, and Craig’s doing his best to help Clyde cope. Wholesome dumb teenagers looking out for each other and low-key falling in love. I dare you not to feel all happy inside as Clyde slowly begins to feel better as Craig looks after him. Adorable throughout, the ending is very much them. Another good read for making a crappy day a better one.

Miss you x Vampiracy

A true hidden gem by one of the best authors in the whole fandom; we have here the best fic in which Clyde doesn’t even appear. The whole schoolyard gang give their two cents on Craig’s spiraling mental state as he tries desperately to justify a typo to Clyde during an obsessive summer-long texting marathon. Legitimately funny from start to finish, with buttery-smooth dialogue and a big soft ending that’ll have you grinning ear-to-ear for completely different reasons. Love it, cherish it, and dream of more. Vampiracy ̶ we’ll miss you x.

[A RANK] SHORT AND SWEET

Whatever Gets You Through The Night Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

There’s a lot of mixed feelings for me in this fic. A love-letter to Clyde and his parents, in which Craig gets caught up on the whole ‘love’ part of it, having trouble fully expressing himself due to some heavy personal baggage. The Donovan’s really shine in this story. Betsy’s alive and massively comforting, Roger’s family values personified, and Clyde’s being a sweetheart to end all sweethearts. It’s confronting, more than a little emotionally messy, but it’s none the less a story that’ll stay with you. Check the comments for a hidden stinger.

Some Dieting Donkerblauw Fluweel

Clyde’s self-image problems are the focus this time around, doing a commendable job pushing the ideas of healthy progress, properly looking after yourself and feeling comfortable letting others help out. It’s a good length for the story it is, and although the writing gets a little spotty in parts you’ll be unlikely take too much notice. Like Clyde, this one’s hearts in the right place.

If Time Could Stand Still WeCryde

I used to stumble across this story semi-regularly back in the day, wondering if I’d missed it before realizing we’d already been well acquainted. The amount of show rather than tell is fairly distracting, with the entire meat of the relationship relegated to backstory. There’s still something here though. Perhaps in the way it deals with long-distance relationships and just distance in general. Maybe the hopeless romantic in me resonates with the plight of two idiots with thousands of miles between them. See if it works for you?

The Edges of the Atmosphere Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

There should be some sort of law that states that confessions in cryde stories have to be some level of stupid or convoluted. These two are physically incapable of expressing such feelings to each other in any standard normie way. So enjoy some classic spaceman Craig tropes while Clyde juggles being cute and awkward like a pro. Trigger warning for some racy hand-holding action; we’re talking interlocking fingers here.

Standby Flier Cheesebirb (Hi Mark ;)

So upfront, this story isn’t even a romance quite honestly. It’s just a cute bromance sort of affair at most, in which the boys share a hotel room together while waiting on a flight back home. You could quite certainly interpret it as the start of something deeper, as the fic gladly provides hints to support it; however there’s nothing to see here apart from the two personalities bouncing off each other, and sometimes that’s enough. A memorable little story that might resonate that little bit extra if you’re a frequent traveler.

Bust and Boom Azul_Bleu

Clyde fumbling with the realization that he’s got the hots for Craig isn’t new ground, that’s about the only ‘downside’ I could give this story. What it does with this premise however is deliver some pitch-perfect characterizations, snappy pacing, a good variety of settings, and some surprisingly touching moments given its brevity. It’s also loaded with lines that stand up off the page and stick with you and those are always worth their weight in gold; the author really squeezes a lot out of the short word count.

Forts Can Be Fun wendybirb

In which little Craig builds a pillow fort and little Clyde is invited. It’s a soft story with some cute exchanges, if you’re looking for a more innocent kid-cryde vibe then this one can scratch the itch. Short and sweet by definition. Go read it and give yourself a little smile.

Ennui dsfgajkh

This simple story’s a real blink and you’ll miss it; detailing some introspective thoughts Clyde’s having about the monotony of small town life and his fascination with his much more interesting best friend. At nearly a decade old, this story pre-dates Pandemic, which solidified the usual stoic Craig tropes that came after so it’s an awesome little time capsule back to those days where apathetic Clyde and flamboyant Craig was as good a guess as any. There’s a line about skittles that makes it worth the ten minute read.

Neighbors Vampiracy

So remember that time that Vampiracy wrote one of the most realistic and precious depictions of little Craig and Clyde playing with toy trucks in the backyard, but then it got buried in the depths of tumblr? Try not to smile when Clyde beams over the prospect of making a new friend and being able to show off the hole he’s dug; I completely and utterly dare you. Bratty Craig is my spirit animal and I’d die for more adventures with him at the Donovan house. I’m such a sucker for cutesy pre-school fluff I swear; just like you will be when you’re done reading this.

Shine On How You Shine On Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

Real talk? I’m a sucker for all things Brokeback Mountain, and this fic’s just neatly slotting in Craig and Clyde as the cowboys sharing a rough and confusing night in a tent together. The story is exactly what you’d think if you’ve read the original, and it hits all the same thematic beats. Guilty pleasure alert in full here. If you’re in the mood for hearing Clyde Twist tense up as Craig Delmar spits on his hand behind him then I won’t judge if you don’t. I’d unironically read ten more chapters.

Two Weeks toddintops

Yeah-yeah I know I’m stretching the definition of fic with this one, it’s barely a half thousand words; but hey, better five hundred words that make you feel something than ten thousand that leave you feeling the same. A short, sharp dose of angst with some beautiful art accompanying, what have you got to lose? Something about Clyde’s smile, coupled with the bittersweet lines near the end has always managed to stay with me. Maybe it’ll strike a chord with you too.

UNFINISHED (BUT STILL GREAT)

Ask Craig obitotxt (Password is 12345)

Hop on board the angst express; with the last stop being yourself when you realize the story comes crashing off the rails and never hits the end. Is the fact this blog never reached a conclusion one of the great tragedies of our modern era? Yeah, kinda. Fact is, this is probably the only cryde-centric askblog-formatted story out there; and yeah, it’s hyperbolic at times, but goddamn if it doesn’t make you feel something. Packed to the brim with boys being boys, memorable moments and just so much heart, you’ll be pressing F (and F5) for days after you reach the final unfinished pages.

One More Year llexxii

And here’s a weird way to recommend something: you probably don’t want to read this one. It’s very long, it’s very dead, and it has a fairly submissive Craig coupled with a rather unlikable rendition of Clyde. So why’m I even talking about this, and really, I’ve not got much of an answer for you. Just that this fic, despite everything, has some consistently excellent writing. The flashback scenes to Craig and Clyde as young kids are total gems. There’s stuff to love here, and maybe it could have been something great; if nothing else, maybe check it out as an interesting look into the ships history.

Turn It Around, Get a Rewrite wendybirb

This one hurts, in just about every respect. Prepare for angst story wise as we follow along with the life and times of Craig, reconnecting with a clearly troubled yet desperately pining Clyde, who seems scared shitless about his dying claims to heterosexuality. I genuinely love this story. It’s raw and emotional and angry and sexy, it comes across messy and real and does an amazing job making you care about the boys while also showing their more frustrating attributes. I’m still holding out hope it’ll one day take its place with the greats, but until then, the hardest gut-punch is always that “unfinished” tag.

January White (Love Is a Stain) Dovakiin

Here we’ve got a different kind of tragedy. The usual formula is a promising author burning out after an amazing opening run, but here we’ve got a story that never even made it past the kickoff. It’s such a shame. The eponymous metaphor and the solemn tone throughout is honestly pretty captivating; I would love to see how this take on the characters would have played. Spare ten minutes from your day and give yourself something to reflect on with this abandoned beginning.

NOT FULL CRYDE, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH

ask MARSH and BROFLOVSKI jovishark

You know what? Fuck it. I’m putting this one here and no one can stop me. This ask blog is practically fandom required reading at this point, and I couldn’t in good conscience not mention it. Stan and Kyle answer your questions, the plotline reads like something from a CW show, and Craig and Clyde don’t even end up together. I love it genuinely. If you pressed me, this story might be what got me into the fandom; pressed me harder, it’s what got me into cryde (again ironic as cryde isn’t endgame here). Always worth a read or a re-read. Pretend Craig and Clyde sorted things out in college if you need to.

Brace Yourself skyline

Okay so it’s a style story, let’s get that elephant in the room well and truly pointed out from the outset. If it’s a deal breaker for you that cryde isn’t the focus, then move along, but I guarantee for those that stay, there’s a charmingly written cryde side-ship playing out in tandem to Stan’s quest to win over his super best friend. There’s a lot to love about this story, the writings sharp and surprisingly powerful at times, and the characters are a joy to watch. Watching the cryde story unfold from Stan’s POV is a unique experience that you won’t really find anywhere else.

Remove Before Flight skyline

So remember Brace Yourself from literally just one entry up? Okay, same concept, same author. This is a different timeline in which Kenny’s the lucky protagonist trying to win Kyle’s heart, but like before, you’re treated to an enjoyable cryde sub-plot playing on in the background of the K2 drama. The writing’s still on-point, the characters are still great; if you liked the authors other story (which I’d advise reading first), you’ll definitely enjoy this one too. It’s cute how Craig and Clyde always seem destined for each other in this universe.

[nocllesnow]

22, 9, 3 !

which muse is the trickiest to get into character for?

probably darcy?? only because he fluctuates so much between being harsh and being awkward and being annoyed because HE doesn’t know what he’s doing, so he’s some serious mood whiplash. ithaca is a close second, though, because i’m still feeling my way around what she does and how she feels and how she acts around different people, because she’s a character whose responses 100% depend on who she’s talking to. that being said, tho, i like to think my characters are pretty in-character?? hopefully?? IDK FAM

why were you drawn to each one of your characters?

this gonna be a long answer fam, u ready??

noelle: mY FIRST BAE, playing shy characters was easier for me when i entered a new group, plus shy olaf daughter?? with a dad who’s extra af?? yES PLS. ngl, i stalked the rp for like a week before joining bc i was highkey intimidated, so i feel like that showed through noelle a bit.

kai: SILVERMIST IS MY DISNEY FAIRY FAVE, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, and taehyung’s face was calling to me fam, i really wanted a fairy character and i mean, silvermist was the fave, so why not??

luna: when tasha was still around she said in the ooc that she wanted a daughter of pitch black for andy and i wAS ON THAT SHIT the muse came to me fam, and isabelle suited the character so well the rest was history.

caspia: seeing the hundred acre wood characters start to come in i was like “yO WHAT IF PIGLET HAD A REBELLIOUS AF DAUGHTER” and i also wanted a character to get drunk bc none of the aforementioned characters really got drunk, so tHERE SHE BE

ophelia: with the Mess™ that the wonderland characters at the time had going on, i ended up getting muse for a more fussy yet adventurous and curious daughter of the white rabbit, thus ophelia was born. nONE of those wonderland characters are around anymore, but she was a character who i found had to grow up a bit and idk fam i could go oN

zane: UM SHOCK LOCK AND BARREL ARE MY FAVES?? i remember EB mentioned rex being terrified of their kids and the muse continued from there tbh?? i’d wanted to use jungkook for a while and i was like oPPORTUNITY, and he was another character that grew up quite a bit when i first got him

eirella: listen............she was meant to be a daydreamer who had a bit of a temper, right?? tHEN I REALISED I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN SHE WAS ANGRY SO ANGRY SHE BECAME. i also really like dancer characters, sO

misty: there was a lot of Mess™ happening with the atlantica-olympus crew and i thought to myself “lmao what if it was flounder’s kid that has to deal with all of them” aND THUS MISTY WAS BORN, it was very quick tbh but i don’t regret it one bit

jacinta: i wanted a very whimsical and energetic character as well as a very immature one, and i thought a daughter of stitch would fit the bill tbh. i also love stitch, and with kei as her fc it just sorta fell into place tbh

talon: i wANTED MATT DADDARIO AS AN FC OK and tbh i went through a few options, but i went with tarzan and jane because the character i had in mind was one that was kinda rough and socially inept, and i figured being raised in the jungle away from humans was perfect for that

alissa: fAIRY GODMOTHER CHILD?? YES PLS. with all the crazy shit that was happening in auradon, i wanted a character like alissa who wanted to stand up for the school ( this was before we had an actual fairy godmother mind you ) and also one who wanted to grant wishes because SHE wanted to. a lot of it was based on the fairy godmother in the original descendants movie who wouldn’t let jane use magic, and so alissa would be under the same circumstances and just rebel, plain and simple

sabrina: LOOK I HAD HER IN MIND FOR MONTHS BEFORE I HAD HER I’M JUST SDKLFJSLDF with all the wreck-it-ralph characters around, i got inspired, and i was like “how WOULD turbo treat his kid??” aND THUS SHE WAS BORN AND WOULDN’T LEAVE MY MIND

xiaoli: around the time i was thinking about sabrina, i was also thinking about xiaoli. there were a few inspirations for xiaoli’s character. the whole ‘i am a tool’ line came from peko pekoyama from dangan ronpa and the writing in her sketchbook thing came from this character megumi from the anime special a and everything just sorta fell into place?? i love her so much like??

viviette: MIRACULOUS LADYBUG HYPE FAM i lowkey wanted a ML character for a while and then all this hype about queen bee was going around and it was cHLOE AND I WAS LIKE !!!!!!! and i was really drawn to the backstory riley made for cameron so it was a no-brainer whose kid i was gonna create

frederick: I WANTED A BRATTY PRINCE. THAT’S ALL I WANTED. AND NOW HERE HE IS. A MASTERPIECE OF BULLSHITERY. and now i also love when he guts flustered and blushy blushy that’s always fun

gabriel: i knew i wanted a soft, well-mannered, flower-child boy, i just didn’t know where to put him, and then i remembered how much i fUCKING LOVED THE SWAN PRINCESS AS A CHILD and it was a no-brainer, he’s just so pure, so beautiful

beatrix: sMALL FEISTY DEMON CHILD?? CHERNABOG?? LITERALLY SATAN’S DAUGHTER?? NEED I SAY MORE?? i wanted a character who was a persuasive little shit, basically. hopefully i’m doing her justice even tho i brING HER SO MUCH PAIN i basically have no issues doing anything to her bc chernabog would legit do ANYTHING bc he has no morals, like at all

roxanne: princess who’s done with her dad’s shit, basically someone who might be able to dO SOMETHING about the crazy ass shit that goes on in auradon as well as someone close to the king to actually oppose the king, and i aLSO wanted a character who had middle child syndrome so

pandora: i wanted a smol from the isle, bc i had no smols from the isle, like nO TRUE REAL 110% SMOLS and i chose pete because first of all, i love the mickey mouse original characters, but also because i thought he would be an interesting character to explore in this universe?? sO YEA

darcy: i wanted charlie heaton as an fc and i had his character of being abrupt and awkward in my mind already, but i once again had no idea where to put him?? iN THE END it was his personality that i was interested in the most. shoutout to nicole for helping me decide on aurora and phillip tho

yazmin: THIS ONE IS WINNIE’S FAULT OK i knew coranza was from elena of avalor and i was like “oh what’s that this looks cool” I FINISH ALL THE EPISODES AND I LOVED ISABEL AND I WAS ON THAT SHIT LIKE LIGHTNING OK

willow: i made the mistake of watching sofia the first, i legit remember posting ‘i have made a terrible mistake’ on the ooc blog but i just?? really wanted a spoiled princess?? aND I LOVE SOFIA THE FIRST SO LIKE ??? FAM

queenie: I WAS WATCHING THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE AND THE MUSE POPPED UP I WAS SHOOK i love detective characters and i had so many ideas?? i had a few stoic characters but none of them were as lonely as queenie really was, and she has this side to her that shows that she’s still just a teenager sO

umbra: I WANTED TO USE BONA FOR THE LONGEST TIME i just had no idea where to put her and then i watched httyd and i love that movie so much ok and i was INFIRES i also love characters who are antisocial but are 110% fine with being that way and umbra is nothing if not that so

ithaca: LI ST E N a snow white child has been in the back of my mind since forever tbh, since around october last year i think?? but there was no space. i just really loved the idea of her being interested in magic and being sorta gloomy and stuff and being this kinda?? middle ground to otto and pompeii?? like they’re both on opposite ends of things and ithaca is just kinda in the middle like “whatever fam”

helix: IT’S NO SECRET THAT I LOVE THE BELDAMS OK and once again if there had been space i probably would have created her a long time ago. i got to thinking about what would have happened to a beldam kid during the time she was alone, all these hypotheticals like “what if they didn’t know what beldams did?? what if they were really sweet and it aLL CHANGED” and thus HELIX

[thundergirl007]

Because It saves time Answer all on the ask thing I just liked please

Get to know me

1. Name - Abigail

2. Age - 19

3. City that you live in -  Just outside Bradford, England

4. What do most people not know about you? - That I have an interest in really morbid books (Karen Rose novels are so dark but I love them anyway)

5. What do most people know you for? - That I am the person that loves where I work

6. Hobbies - Reading, watching films, currently learning Polish, want to learn Russian, watching (Disney) films in other languages.

7. What are your passions? - See 6

8. What do you search for in a significant other? - To be honest I’m not looking for one right now, but someone who would learn languages and watch films with me I guess.

7. What are you most proud of? - My little sister and everything she does.

8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love? - If this means romantic love, then probably never. 

9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it? - not anything interesting but I love collecting book series’

10. List 10 things off of your bucket list. - Learn another language, 

11. What was the last thing you learned? - Russian naming conventions if that counts. Otherwise it would be the Polish future tenses.

12. How many relationships have you been in? - None

13. Turn ons - be able to speak another language, 

14. Turn offs - being rude to anyone you don’t know

15. Favorite food - Fish and chips (yeah I know)

16. Favorite drink - Fresh orange juice

17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received? - that would be a present I have yet to use, but for my 18th (yeah so over a year ago) my parents offered to pay for me and a friend for a weekend away in any UK (had to specify UK) city of my choice.

18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? - very pessimistic.

19. Do you sleep during class? - I just finished college but all throughout school and college I never slept during classes. I am a very early bird so I was okay for school.

20. What is the most expensive thing you own? - The car that I bought from my Grandma.

21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own? - plastic scrapers. When you’re baking all the time for college those goddamn scrapers are a godsend.

22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone? - On a work day, only around 2-3 because I leave my phone in the staff room. 

23. Text or call? - I do prefer to call people, but when I am busy I do prefer texting.

24. Opinion on long distance? - I have never been in a long distance relationship, nor know anyone that does. I guess the longest distance relationship I’m in is a friendship with my best friend while she’s at Uni

25. What is your definition of success? - Achieving what you want to achieve.

26. Favorite song? - Currently “The Phantom of the Opera” (and I’m talking broadway, 2004 movie, Russian version and Polish version).

27. Favorite artist? - oh dear, Anais Delva and Ramin Karimloo

28. Celebrity crush/crushes? - Not going to lie it was Anton Yelchin. I was so sad when I heard he had died.

29. When was the last time you read for fun? - Yesterday before work. It was Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz.

30. Favorite flower? - Pansies.

31. What is the best gift you could receive right now? - This is a tough one... 

32. Any guilty pleasures? - Disney. Literally anything. Oh and any Chekov fanfic because my heart

33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself? - How to handle stress.

34. What do you search for in a friend? - Lover of books or films or both.

35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month? - Probably twice. Once to my sister and once to a work colleague who just had a baby boy, and I got to meet him the other day.

36. Where did you last go other than your room/home? - To a bar near where I work for a colleague’s birthday gathering.

37. Why do bad things happen to good people? - I don’t know but I am a firm believer in karma and that what goes around comes around, so anyone that wrongs someone I care about will get hit by some (preferably instant) karma.

38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye? - I mean I’ve never been stabbed in the eye but being left out is something I know a lot about and it hurts so until I know what being stabbed in the eye is like (and the Walking Dead has taught me that I do not want to know what that is like).

39. How many green shirts do you own? - I think 5.

40. Do you like anime? - It depends. Me and my friends loved Death Note (still my all time fave) and I liked Blue Drop, but other than that I never really got into any other series.

41. What do you invest the most time in? - In my own world thinking up stories. I sometimes jot them down and I used to be okay at writing but college happened.

42. What was the name of the last book you read? - Completly read would be “Alone in the Dark” by Karen Rose.

43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone? - One is wanting to spend immeasurable amounts of time with, even through rough patches. (I’ve never been in a relationship to tbh I don’t know the difference).

44. Where are you most productive? - the “office” in our house, it’s small, has a desk and bookshelf and is in the other end of the house, so it’s quite private (aka quiet) when everyone is home.

45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends. - Going to the cinema, going out for a meal, going out somewhere in general tbh.

46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone. - Watching films, reading books and I do like walking around fairly aimlessly tbh.

47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist? - I would love it if it did, but I am ready to accept that it might not happen in my lifetime with the way things look rn.

48. Do you have any allergies? - Nope.

49. When was the last time you cussed at someone? - It would be myself yesterday. I don’t really cuss at other people.

50. What was the last promise you made? - Making a surprise cake for my boss when she has her baby.

51. What was your last dream about? - Can’t really remember. I think it was a Star Trek-y kind of dream because I was talking to Chekov in it and then I thought “wait how am I talking to you in Russian I don’t speak it”.

52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be? - My best school friend, my sister, tbh I think 5 is too many. So I’d let my sister choose some friends to take because I have no idea who else I’d take.

53. How many countries have you visited? - 3 (France, Tenerife and America) but this time next month it will be up to 4 (Poland)

54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.) - Do films count as an art form? If not then music. I like Glenn Miller on occasion, especially “In the Mood”

56. When was the last time somebody complimented you? - Oh god, I don’t know. I guess about 3 weeks ago, I was at a homestay for work experience in France and my hostess kept feeding me, so I joked that I needed to fit into a bridesmaid’s dress when I get home so I need to not put on a lot of weight and she said I wasn’t big or anything.

56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself? - My thick, awful hair. I hate thick hair. It’s so hard to look after.

57. Do you consider yourself mature? - I think I do. A lot of others think I’m older than I am, but I’ll still get ID’d for 15 films.

58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr? - Probably about 2 months worth, 60 days ish.

59. What is your favorite quote? - “Too much mystery is merely an annoyance. Too much adventure is exhausting. And a little terror goes a long way.” - Odd Thomas, by Dean Koontz

60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be? - ??? I guess it would be

61. What is your greatest accomplishment? - Being semi-conversational in Polish.

62. Do you believe in the death penalty? - Depends. If it is clear cut, with a premeditiated act of horror then yes, but where the evidence is a bit fuzzy it depends, but then that is literally the plot of an awful lot of John Grisham books (seriously, The Chamber still hurts.)

63. What are your goals for life? - have a bakery of my own, learn another (possibly 2 or more) languages and have a child at some point.

64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now? - probably somewhere on this website but idk.

65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world. - The USS Enterprise is too far fetched (for now), but Tracy Island is a pretty close second ngl.

66. What were you like in 2013? - An introverted teenager who could literally not stand up for myself.

67. Do you have a job? - A waitress in a restaurant. It’s pretty sweet 98% of the time.

68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend. -  Didn’t have a lot of friends as a kid, but in secondary school me and my circle of friends went to a restaurant and they had condiments on the table and one of us was fiddling with it over her shoulder, it split open over her shoulder and projectiled about 7 yards to the wall behind her (there was no one sat there but it was hilarious).

69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be? - Take away the stigma for learning another language for fun.

70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before? - One, but it wasn’t technically an “all nighter”, it was more until about 1:45am.

71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website? - Tie between Tumblr and YouTube.

72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars? - idk. Be a sarcastic little shit to rude customers.

73. Does money equal happiness? - I love treating friends, it makes me happy, so indirectly. Having money isn’t nearly as important as what you choose to do with it.

74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime? - A few but then again I have no life, my happiness generally comes when people actually want to spend time with me.

75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime? - far too many. I was bullied an awful lot throughout primary and secondary school.

76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told? - Does it count if I say it in response to customers? Because “Hey that’s not a fish, it’s a whale!” *chuckle* “well I mean we pick it up from a whale-way station”

77. When was the last time you looked at the news? - Sometime yesterday, about the residents of similar towers to the Grenfell tower.

78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say? - Can we all slow down a little please. Thanks.

79. What is your favorite animal? - Rabbits

80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it? -  that seems like the ideal time to learn a language all by myself, and having the money at the end? Hell yes.

81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at? - judging by the way of the world it’s getting along.

82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get? - around 6-8, depending.

83. Does age necessarily equal maturity? - I would love to say yes but a lot of people I know are huge children and they’re hilarious.

84. What is your favorite clothing store? - Oasis.

85. In the winter- beanies or gloves? - Gloves.

86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail? - WINGS WINGS WINGS.

87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it? - probably not, because what’s the point if I remeber them, people would think I’m going mad.

88. What do you fear the most? - being a disappointment.

89. How many digits of pi can you recite? - 6

90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be? - 2012. I got to meet Alistair and Jonathan Brownlee personally and I flaming loved them. Also because Anton Yelchin would still be alive so.

91. Describe yourself in one word. - Nerd

92. Describe your last victory. - Being semi-conversational in Polish

93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen? - a drunk guy come into my work and literally all he talked to me about was the history of chocolate.

94. What is something you will never forget? - why diacritical marks in Polish are important.

95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail? - my past is pretty weird, but I’d love to remember it better. The downside is my embarassing childhood days.

96. Have you ever broken a bone before? - *touch wood* nope.

97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody? - To hate I guess because I’ve never loved anyone outside of family and that’s easy enough.

98. Coffee or tea? - neither. Hot chocolate.

99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way? - spent more time with friends and family.

100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today? - today, on and off, about 3.

I think that’s everything, thanks for asking :)