#lately ive been thinking about identity

[howdyboh]

Satan as the Allegory of Astrology by Lorenzo Greuter

i have decided I will just post whatever, like I did on my old art account. woe 🫳 gay satan be upon ye

[justlesbian]

This movie was my lesbian awakening

I related, and still relate, SO MUCH to Michelle Williams character, Linda. Not just in her realizing she was a butch-loving femme lesbian, but in her struggles with it. The judgment from her friends, even those who were lesbian feminists, because they could not understand the attraction she felt towards a GNC woman like Amy (Chloe Sevigny)

I hated the scene were she mistreated Amy in front of said friends so much, and it scared me, because I knew it could easily be me. As a shy, socially awkward teen, I always cared way too fucking much about what people think of me, trying so hard to be pallatable to them, and a lot of that has stayed with me to this day. One example I can think of is when my gf got a very butch hairstyle and I thought it looked hot af, but my first gut reaction was to worry about what other people would think, and how they would treat her. This is a problem.

So many people literally do not understand how lesbians like us exist. I had a guy friend who was excited that I would be able to talk about girls with him, but later became exceedingly confused by the women I actually went for, completely unlike the straight girls he liked. Another is all the times I heard "but she looks/dresses/acts like a guy!" and how it made me feel so insecure and exasperated and not understood

We have made huge strides in LGBT rights and acceptance, but we still have so much work to do in terms of acceptance of GNC women and butch lesbians. Why is it that the accepted version of lesbians in media is usually two straight looking, femenine presenting women? Why does society still consider butches and more masc presenting women to be scary and unnattractive? And why are lesbians (femme or butch) who are attracted to these types of women SO invisibilized?

We need more movies like this. Stop being scared of "perpatuating dated stereotypes" or whatever. Butch/Femme stories need to be told. Butch/Butch stories need to be told. Butch women are still very much around and always will be, and so are lesbians who love them.

And that's on periodt

[godmademewithoutarms]

Shout out to the tboys who are perfectly comfortable looking like cis women. Shout out to the tboys are perfectly fine with the voice they have even if they sound like a girl. Shout out to the tboys who don't fit what people think a trans man should be. You're still trans and I love you so much

[knightish-angel]

😕

[youredreamingofroo]

5 and 11 for roo 🫵

Hallo Anon, thank you for this ask!! :))

Questions from : Pride Ask Game

5, How did you figure out your oc's identity?

I still haven't figured it out completely myself, but I see Roo being about as confused as I am, however! I have been settling on having him identify as Genderfluid as of late! I don't think Roo would want to be a woman, but he definitely enjoys being feminine, and enjoys being able to slip in and out of that femininity and in and out of his masculinity. I don't think Roo ever feels like a man, being called a "man" feels too... heavy for him? And for him to be called a woman, it feels too far on the gender spectrum for him. He sees being called a "guy" as perfectly gender neutral for him, and no matter how masculine or feminine he feels, he does not like being called a man/woman for aforementioned reasons. Also, non-binary IS an identity he has pondered, but ultimately, he ruled it out, simply because he's always gonna feel either masc or fem or some combo of the two, being referred to and using non binary as a label felt wrong to him and just was too much.. of a grey area? I guess? It didn't fit the last puzzle piece spot like Genderfluid does. I hope that answers the question shgbajn 😭😭 I moreso ended up answering how HE figured out his identity, but I feel like a lot of my own reasoning is applicable/adjacent to his reasoning.

11, Is your oc open about their identity? Are they more lowkey or more blunt about it? Why or why not?

Roo is not open about his identity. Roo has always felt shame towards his sexuality and identity, He's felt shame about who he is since he was ~16-17, and as comfortable as he may be in his identity, he has come to view identity as... almost a vulnerability- there's a looming feeling of dread at the idea of being vulnerable and "intimate" with people he doesn't know or people he isn't super acquainted with. When laying it on people that he's not cis, he often approaches the conversation in a veryyy slow and lowkey way ("hypothetically speaking,,, how would you feel if someone you know/knew wasn't,,, uhm,,, cis,,,?" for a brief example), trying to make himself not obvious at all, but unfortunately for Roo- he's stupid and pretty oblivious, plus his method of coming out is just.. well. very obvious. So people will often figure it out before he can even properly come out 😭

[comet-wire]

Ngl I've been having a gender crisis again on top of all the stuff that's happened with my dad, I think I still identify as male/masculine idk 🗿

Same with my ace/aro spectrum placement ☝️🗿

[mister13eyond]

that gender post has me wanting to put Gender Shit into words and like man

from Outside i suppose I'd probably be labeled 'nonbinary' since i present in a way that doesn't adhere to gender norms for men and my presentation is androgynous at best

but imo my personal view is like. the gender binary is fake and made up, it's a set of social rules enforced by societal norms, and opting not to comply with it doesn't necessarily change my internal view of my own gender

i'm a guy, that feels easy and uncomplicated. i like he/him pronouns, my medical transition has focused on masculinizing my body via T and top, my everyday interactions with family, friends, partners and coworkers all place me squarely in the realm of 'guy', i don't necessarily think my relationship to my identity is at all complicated or outside the binary. i like being a dude!

it's just, like. why would i ever BOTHER adhering to the social standards or norms for what men are supposed to look or dress like? i'm never going to be a Masculine Ideal- no amount of medical transition can make me taller than 5'0" or make my generally soft features somehow more acceptably masculine. I also no longer give a shit about 'passing' as this is just... not something i care to do and would require caring more about Outside standards than my own perception and comfort

Once i got to a point where I was at ease and completely present in my own body because it met my mental ideal, I just stopped overcompensating with more masculine clothes/leaving my face scruffy/affecting masculine mannerisms, i just like. don't care. i hit 'right' and everything else is My City and I am simply not interested in the standards for what men are supposed to look like or dress like. if we say a cis man can be effeminate and gender non conforming while still id'ing as cis, why do i have to be classed any differently for opting not to bother with social norms?

tl;dr: it's not that i'm NOT nonbinary, it's just that I simply think gender is ALL made up so my dressing and behaving in a certain way doesn't mean I Have To be outside the binary; i feel like a guy, the rest is all just fun and games

[eelslippers]

I've seen memes within the trans community about fall out new vegas being a trans media and I recently started playing it for the first time and I don't think it's a coincidence that now I'm thinking about my gender identity again

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[tamaharu]

takes a transgender beam to sumire. for the themes.

[darcyfirth]

idk if i have updated you guys on this yet but i bought a pc!

[youssefguedira]

If you had to come up with a diabolik storyline (movie or comic) what would you love to include??

see my Ideal diabolik storyline is just what i put in motherless child because well. its got everything. backstory. lack of identity. murder. romantic murder. you know. so if that wasn't impossible in canon, king being dead and all, id like that one very much

ALTERNATIVELY i would like evil eva / eva by herself on a heist sans diabolik. because. i just think she.

[agesharp]

the age old question of am i really a butch lesbian or am i just a straight trans guy who gets a little silly with it

[coridallasmultipass]

(This is just an apology I owe someone I will probably never see again. Please ignore, I just needed to get it off my chest 16 years later. I'm not a good person, and I was very cruel as a teen.)

Hi. I'm sorry I wronged you. I treated you terribly when you gave me that letter. It was my fault, obviously. You were such a kind person to me, and we could have been great friends. You shot your shot, and that was totally normal and fair. I just want to explain why I reacted that way, because it was completely uncalled for.

I was living as a girl then, and had no idea that I had this trans man living inside me all along. I didn't know it, but my friendships with men felt so important and validating to me. I felt like I could be one of the bros without realizing that there was an actual personal reason why I needed that validation and mirroring. I guess, at the time, I would have chalked it up to 'daddy issues' from having a continually absent father figure,' which is incredibly reductive and dismissive, and was never genuinely my issue. I felt safe when it was me hanging out with some guys, especially when we often had more interests align which was rare to find in female friends. It's not easy being a kid into metal, alt fashion, art, and nerdy things, when you live in a rural small town where sports is considered the 'ideal' for teens. But you already know that. You lived it, too. You just didn't have the societal pressure to perform femininity, when you're not a girl, on top of it. ((But who knows, you could be a trans woman right now and struggling with your own issues from the other side, I really don't know you.))

But boy, did I PERFORM femininity. The metal scene wasn't the best inspiration for women. You had to be a hot sexy metal babe or you wouldn't get dick. No love for the androgynous women (except lesbians. Go lesbians, I love you.) At least that's what it felt like to 14-year-old me. I had to struggle with the fact that I wanted to look like the band members, not the women they were pictured with. I showed my hairstylist pictures of band men and short-haired Rihanna so I had at least one girl on there. I don't know where I'm going with this. I tried to do both perform the femininity, and doing small things to look more like the band guys I idolized, finding excuses to portray men in acting/roleplay/costumes. 'Because I had a crush on them, right?' No, because I wanted to BE them. Iwanted to be wanted as a man. Not as some metal babe. Being desired as a woman felt horribly invalidating, and I couldn't have ever explained why until now.

It's not a valid excuse, but I reacted that way because I felt safe around you. So safe. You were a dude, my bro, and I could be myself without feeling like I'm being 'tested' for performing human femininity like I did around girls. Like I walk into a room and everyone stops and glares at me. That's what I felt like, that hypervigilance, without knowing what that word meant. You were a good friend, kind, interesting, naturally attractive, and cool. I can't explain it, but it felt like betrayal when you gave me that letter. Suddenly, I was a 'love interest' and not 'fellow bro' and it hurt me so badly to believe that our friendship was built on you viewing me as a girl, not an equal. (That sounds absolutely horrible, I'm not implying that women are 'less," just that it made me feel like I was being unseen, that your feelings were for someone i was not.) I felt like our friendship was built on a lie. I felt disgusted at myself for reasons I didn't understand.

I reacted horribly. I wrote you that shameful e-mail in response. I tried burning that letter because I'm a dramatic hoe, but couldn't get the fireplace open, so I had to blow it out and instead melted and shredded it into the sink disposal. My mom came home and smelled the smoke and thought I was trying a cigarette. (I didn't try a single drug until I had a cigarette in fall of 2017, age 23.) Do we address the situation like an adult with calm words and ponder why we feel all these negative emotions, or do we SINK GO BRRRRRRRR DESTROY THE EVIDENCE?

14-year-old Cori go BRRRRRRRR, apparently.

I mean, I was a KID. Kids are mean as fuck.

It's no excuse, but I can look back on that now and say definitively that it was a result of not understanding my gender identity. I know I'm gay (not to mention, aro), but I did things counter to that, like have a phase of being a lesbian/bi/pan-preferring woman. if being attracted to women made me feel more butch and manly, then 'hey, look at that chick's thighs, bro…' I was gonna play it up.

Anyway, my point, discovering gender was like, literally taking off a suit of armour that never fit right because it was too small for me. I took off that suit of armour at age 19. It felt freeing to have no gender at all. I could do anything I wanted to find what fit me, trying on anything and everything. I finally found that fit in 2015. I'm a dude. This armour fits me perfectly now, and it flexes with my movement. But i still have the chafing and bruises from wearing the wrong armour for so many years.

I should have gently told you that I wanted to stay just friends. Instead, I was spiteful and mean for something that was my own fault. I refused to address my own gender problems, avoiding them entirely and dumping them onto you. I should not have been so immature as to do that and then entirely avoid you forever after.

So, I am deeply and truly sorry. I have regretted it every moment since I clicked 'send.' I hope you've entirely forgotten me by now. I hope you're doing well and still playing music and being your own creative self. I hope you're making mad bucks doing whatever the fuck you love. I'm sorry.

[cascadianights]

I've been seeing a trend of people typing up ALT texts describing strangers as white with no real context or way of knowing that, and I think it's some nefarious yt leftist shit

It'd be really weird and intrusive to start guessing ANYONE ELSE'S race/ethnicity and shoving it in, and the missing piece everyone doesn't seem to gather is that there's a Lot of mixed people with light skin & very complex relationships to their identity - and the last thing people getting hatecrimed for not being white enough on the actual streets need is to log onto the internet to find Leftists declaring them Too Pale for that to be their reality while continuing in the mass stripping away of their identity

On a separate but related note, the trend of labeling others femme/masc (esp nb people) according to your ideas of those concepts and not how the actual person identifies is also complete shit, and I tend to see a lot of followup with "they're not presenting (my concept of) trans enough to REALLY have ever experienced transphobia."

Part of the whole point!! Has been trying to make room for and understand that there are extremely complicated facets of every person and their identity/race/ethnicity/sexuality/Gender!! And you don't get to contribute to the imperialistic nationalism that categorized all those into neat all or nothing fences & stripped away all nuance and complexity WHILE CALLING IT LIBERAL/PROGRESSIVE!!! For the love of everything stop trying to control other's identities and certainly stop neatly labeling them according to your ideals while discarding their entire lived reality

[mashpotatoe]

im a white jew, i was born in israel,

ive lived there all my life and was brought up in an environment that fosters racism driven by nationalism, nationalism driven by racism.

in israel, they teach you jews and muslims (though usually, they just say arabs) have always been enemies, the same way the US deems the entire middle east as a inherent war zone, ridding them of the responsibility for perpetuating war in thst region.

they tell you "were the fair and humane side who strives for peace! its the arabs who never accept the offer!"

i remember the first time i began doubting that sentiment was in fourth grade, when we were having a discussion in class about the character of Saul from the Torah. the teacher was talking about how Saul, the first monarch of the Kingdom of Israel, used to fight the Philistines, and when she added that the Philistines were the natural enemy of the Israelites, she asked the class what group of people is their modern equivalent to which everyone very eagerly replied "Arabs!" and nevermind that there in that same class sat two arab boys, one of whom sat next to me, who i looked at and thought "but he isnt my enemy? hes just a boy in my class."

they teach you to hate arabs. sometimes they say it outright. sometimes they say it more carefully, or make a distinction between good and bad arabs, those who are with us and those who are against us.

in a state based on the idea of (white) jewish supremacy, they teach you jews are naturally superior. they use the conspiratorial narrative of "jews controlling the world" to their favor, giving their own watered down explanation for why antisemitism exists, saying that it must be driven by jealousy.

the zionist movement always used antisemitism to its advantage, either for reinforcing the notion of jewish supremacy or appealing to the real pain and trauma of generations, people who survived the holocaust, connecting them to stolen land where they are "guaranteed" safety ergo granting "justification" for the suffering of others.

its using peoples real pain that makes fear mongering so effective, and when the israeli population grows up being told all of their neighboring countries want to kill them, they quickly get defensive of the "only land where they can feel safe", but the only explanation ever provided for Why these neighboring countries are considered enemies is because theyre arabs.

and when it comes to palestine, it isnt even recognized as a country, nor identity. just a threat. ive talked to many people who are genuinely unaware of the occupation, and they arent willing to believe it either, because the media narrative has successfully shifted the blame on hamas. because "how could it be us? we want peace! its the terrorists who make us look bad! and their children, they grow up to be antisemites*, might as well get rid of them too!" they never stop to think what environment these children must grow up in to develop these "radical" ideas.

* what they mean by antisemite is really just antizionist, but the term anti/zionist isnt practiced in local dialect, being a zionist is treated as a given

any jew who stands against israels oppression is dubbed a self hating jew, but the biggest contributors to antisemitism is the people in charge of an ethnostate, because at any moment they could decide who is not white enough to be jewish, who is too jewish to be white, who stood against the current coalition government and who is an obedient dog.

israelis arent a monolith, but many of them have been won over, convinced its an "us v them" situation, when in reality it could never be the "us" that "loses"

the israeli government was waiting for an event like the massacre on the seventh of october to declare war, to have the so called "right to defend itself", so they could initiate the final steps of an ethnic genocide and displace, if not kill, all remaining palestinians. under the guise of bringing peace.

it isnt too late to call for a permanent ceasefire, to end the occupation.

please contact your representatives, attend protests and rallies if you are able. palestine will be free, and the flowers will rise again.