#laura watches the sunday session

[percervall]

Mamma mia, here I go again {pt3}

Summary: A summer of poor decisions leads you to having to face the consequences of your actions —and the men involved. Pairing: Kevin Magnussen x fem!reader, Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader, Mark Webber x fem!reader Warnings: mentions of sexism/double standards Word count: 978 Taglist: @averagef1fansblog @barcelonaloverf1life  @bradfordbantams @dannyramirezwife-simpaccount @doofenshmirtzevil-inc @exotic-iris13 @goldsainz @iloveneteyam @jaypreshpresh @laura-naruto-fan1998 @monzamash @norrisleclercf1 @opheliaas-stuff @roseseraj @vellicora 

Part 3 of the Mamma Mia series

The one thing none of you had considered was how to explain all of this to your bosses. You were fairly sure Lewis would make sure you couldn’t lose your job over this, but somehow the idea of losing Toto’s respect felt worse than that. So as soon as you entered the paddock, you went to find Toto to ask him to call a meeting with the Haas team principal. Looking at your watch, you see that you have another fifteen minutes to go before Steiner gets here. Resting a hand on your stomach, you breathe through another wave of nausea. 

“Here,” someone to your left says as they hand you your favourite mug with ginger tea. 

“Thanks Mick,” you offer weakly, taking a careful sip. Mick smiles and sits down next to you. 

“So, George wasn’t lying,” he says, looking over to where Lewis, Kevin and Mark are standing, deep in conversation. 

“No, he wasn’t,” you admit. Both of you are quiet for a while. 

“I do wanna say thank you. For making life more stressful for Steiner. Just wish it didn’t have to include me knowing you slept with two men I look up to,” Mick breaks the silence. You can tell from the twinkle in his eyes that he is mostly joking. You nudge him with your shoulder.

“Gotta look out for my Micky, don’t I? Even if it leads to feeling like a lamb being led to slaughter..”

“Toto won’t think any differently of you. You’ve been here for all of Lewis’ scandals with women. He’d be a hypocrite.” 

“He would be, however, the standard for women is different. Especially in this sport. I have worked with Toto for 10 years now so logically I know he won’t hold it against me. Doesn’t mean I’m not scared of what will happen next,” you say while looking at the ginger floating in your mug. Sighing you get up, signalling to Lewis that it’s time. Despite knowing Mick is right, you can’t help the feeling of absolute dread at needing to come clean about your predicament.

“Now that that’s over and done with,” Mark starts as the four of you make your way back outside of the motor home after promising both team principles to handle this like adults and stay out of trouble, “Lewis, Kevin and I were figuring out logistics for our plans of wooing you.” 

“Oh great..” you mutter, “So what, you’re gonna rock, paper, scissors this?” 

“Something like that,” Lewis chuckles, “Can I take you out to dinner after the race on Sunday?” 

“After the race debrief you mean? I-.. Yeah, okay.” 

“Great,” Lewis says, a fondness to his eyes that catches you off guard, “Just wear something comfortable, we’re not going to a fancy restaurant.” He gives your arm a squeeze before getting whisked away by one of the Mercedes press officers. Mark and Kevin also say goodbye, and you can tell both of them would love nothing more than to show more affection towards you than you’re ready for right now. In the end both of them settle for a hug before leaving you alone with your thoughts. You quickly make your way into your office to gather the data you need for the meeting with the engineers ahead of qualifying.

The rest of the weekend passes in a blur. Making sense of the cars’ performances during the three qualifying sessions keeps you busy enough to refrain you from even thinking about Sunday evening. It’s not until you’re back in your hotel after the race debrief that you remember you need to get ready for dinner –for a date. 

“I don’t even know where we’re going,” you mutter as you dig through your suitcase for something that isn’t Mercedes branded. Thankfully you find a patterned skirt you had thrown in to travel home in, the bloating you are beginning to experience making trousers uncomfortable sometimes. You get out the ironing board and let the iron heat up while you freshen up, getting ready in record time. You hear a knock on the door as you finish tying your laces.

“Coming!” you call out, getting up from the chair. You quickly let Lewis in while you gather your phone and wallet.

“This is the best I could do with the clothes I brought, hope it’s okay?” you say, as you put your belongings in a tote bag, not having brought a purse this weekend.

“You look beautiful,” Lewis says, taking in your outfit. You decided to pair the skirt with a plain cropped t-shirt and your trainers. “You always look beautiful,” he adds. You feel your cheeks heat up under his gaze and awkwardly clear your throat.

“Thanks. You look good, too,” you reply, trying not to stare at the way his white t-shirt clings to his muscles. He gives you a wink that only makes you more flustered. Get it together, you scold yourself, he’s a friend. You follow Lewis out of your hotel room and let him lead you down to the garage where he opens the car door for you of the Mercedes he was driving all weekend. You murmur a thanks and let him help you in, the warmth of his hand comfortable as it holds onto yours. For a moment you feel 16 all over again, getting swept off your feet when your crush would hold the door for you. Lewis gives you a smile and closes the door before rounding the car, giving you a second to take a deep breath. The two of you are silent as he pulls out of the garage and onto the streets of Monza. 

“Where are we going?” you ask as Lewis merges onto the motorway.

“You’ll see,” he replies with a smile. You can’t help but roll your eyes at his secrecy and settle in for the drive.

A shorter chapter this time, but the next one will make up for it! Gearing up to the dates now 🙊

Feel free to let me know your thoughts! Your comments, tags, and love for the previous chapters meant the absolute world to me 💜

[endlesstwanted]

Build-A-Bucky Bingo, May Masterpost

A list of my works for the May prompts of @buckybarnesevents’ Build-a-Bucky-Bingo because I got to fill them all. Links get you to the Ao3 posts, and all extra information can be found under the cut. Credits for the graphics to the mods that made the card <3

Different At Home

🌼 Hurt/Comfort

Bucky Barnes/Scott Summers | T | Drabble WARNINGS: Minor Injuries, Dom/sub Undertones Summary: Scott and Bucky discuss who is bossy where.

At Seventeen

🌼 Bucky's Trigger Words

Bucky Barnes & Leonard Samson | T | Drabble WARNINGS: Amnesia Summary: Bucky talks about his trigger words at therapy. Or tries to.

Dough and Love

🌼 Accidental Love Confessions

Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton/Laura Barton | G | 1,4k words Summary: Bucky has been visiting the Barton’s monthly for a year, and gotten closer to Clint and Laura throughout time. This visit, though, may be the last one.

Sunday Embarrassment

🌼 Backyard Cookout

Bucky Barnes & Michelle Jones & Peter Parker | G | Drabble WARNINGS: Awkward Flirting Summary: At an Avengers cookout, Bucky has a peculiar encounter with Peter and MJ.

A New Suit, And A New Life

🌼 Wrong Number

Bucky Barnes & Shuri | T | Drabble WARNINGS: Movie: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Angst, Canon Compliant Summary: Bucky wants to thank T'Challa for Sam’s Captain America’s suit. Shuri updates him about her brother.

Let Them Guess

🌼 Friends to Lovers

Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson | G | Drabble Summary: Bucky, Sam, and the sunset.

What About His?

🌼 AU: Arranged Marriage

Bucky Barnes & Frigga | T | Drabble WARNINGS: Genderfluid Loki, Gay Bucky Barnes, Hinted Bucky/Thor Summary: Frigga talks to Bucky about his arranged marriage, alliance between Midgard and Asgard.

Anniversary With Performance

🌼 Space

Bucky Barnes & Carol Danvers | G | Drabble Summary: Bucky and Carol talk about his to-be favourite place in space.

Would You?

🌼 Mutual Masturbation

Bucky Barnes/John Walker | E | Drabble WARNINGS: Friends With Benefits, Ambiguous/Open Ending Summary: John and Bucky have a disagreement in the middle of their “team bonding” session when feelings come out.

Here or There

🌼 Spanking

Bucky Barnes/Joaquín Torres | E | Drabble Summary: Joaquín asks Bucky to try something new in bed.

She’s Harmless

🌼 Possessiveness

Bucky Barnes/John Walker | M | Drabble Summary: Bucky doesn’t like when his boyfriend is watched by others.

Reading My Mind

🌼 Praise Kink

Bucky Barnes/Peggy Carter | M | Drabble WARNINGS: Nipple Play, Authority Kink, Fade to Black Summary: Peggy and Bucky spend a lazy morning not leaving bed.

[jaydeemedia]

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[fazcinatingblog]

ok georgie parker said "go pies" at the end YES GEORGIE. NEVER FORGET YOUR ROOTS.

[romioneficfest]

Positive

Title: Positive

name: 

Prompt/Day: 9/Skirt as well as 12/Crookshanks/Hermione’s pregnant with Rose

Rating: T

Brief summary: Hermione pays her husband a visit in his office, surprising him with life-changing news.

Triggers: Strong language/cursing (or Ron’s regular mouth?); mentions of sex; pregnancy (?)

Ron put down his pen and sighed for the tenth time in an hour. It had just taken him more than an hour to summarize last week’s arrests. He loved his job. He loved the adrenaline rush that came with being an Auror. When he discussed strategies and tactics with Harry, going on missions, interrogating suspects and witnesses. But he could have done without the stupid paperwork. Nobody would ever read the stuff anyway. Well, no one except old pain in the arse Head Auror Robards. He heard a knock on the door and turned the desk chair around to see his wife standing in the doorway. She was wearing a grey skirt with a light blue blouse underneath that both skimmed her body in all the right places. The material was so sheer that he could make out the edges of the bra cups underneath. The fabric of her skirt fell softly around her knees. He dragged his eyes up her body to find her watching him, a genuine smile framing her lips and a hint of pink flushing her cheeks. “You’re staring, love.”

He smiled back at her. “I can’t help it. Your clothes are practically transparent. I’m sure your husband wouldn’t approve of that. You know, all the blokes in Law Enforcement getting a good look at your arse.” “Oh, shush, Ronald.” She laughed. “It’s true. They are probably all lusting after you back there and I can’t even blame them. I fucking love it when you wear a skirt.” “You’re insufferable.” “Oh come on, admit it, you wouldn’t want me any other way.” He winked at her and she smiled again. “Are you okay?” “A bit tired, but I’m fine,” she smiled again and pointed to his desk. “What are you still doing here? It’s almost seven. I went home and the house was all dark, so I figured you were still in the office.” Ron looked at her apologetically. “Sorry. I had to finish a report for Robards. There was no time earlier. Well, actually, that’s a lie. I did have time but Laura, the new trainee in my team, pissed me off. First, she ruined the training session and then she hacked me off with her bloody waffle about her stupid kneazle. Aaaaand…I escaped.” Hermione laughed out loud as Ron ranted on about his colleague. “I swear to Merlin, I couldn’t bloody stand it. Kept going on about what kind of vegetables she feeds it! Vegetables! For a bloody kneazle! Can you believe it? Crookshanks would scratch my bollocks off if I put bloody carrots in his bowl. She’s such a pain in the arse and completely incapable of being an Auror. And who gets partnered with her to train her when Harry gets Ben Jenkins, who’s probably already better than all seniors combined? Exactly, me!” Hermione shook her head and leaned against the door frame. “You’re really insufferable and completely exaggerating.” “No, I’m not. She’s unbearable. Even Harry thinks so. I can’t believe she’s made it through the academy. Probably related to old Robards. Bloody idiots, both of them.” Hermione entered the room and smirked. “Have you finished?” She asked. “Finished what? My rant or my report?” “Both.” Ron smiled at her. “Just now.” He glared at the parchment. “But maybe I should get such a quick quotes quill.” He held up his hand and flexed his fingers. “I swear, I cramped after half an hour.” Hermione laughed again and kissed him briefly on the cheek. “You’re exaggerating again.” She put her arms around his neck and settled on his lap. Ron wrapped his arms around her waist. “And I don’t know if such a quill is a good idea, you know what Rita Skeeter‘s one wrote all the time. And in the end, it ends up writing a heart-touching story about Laura Sterling and her vegetable-loving kneazle.” “Bloody hell. Stop it or…” But before he could say more, Hermione had pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply. She opened her lips and touched her tongue to his lips while burying her hands in his hair. Ron was so puzzled that he needed a moment to return her kiss. She had never attacked him in the office before. But ever since they had decided to refrain from contraceptive spells and potions her behaviour had all but changed completely. She attacked him in the most surreal locations and situations. Not that he minded, he loved her. And he loved sex, but it had gotten them into trouble twice already. He wasn’t really keen on showing off his pale arse to his colleagues. It was bad enough that his mother had seen it the other day when they had tried to get a short timeout during Sunday lunch at the Burrow. He would never forget his mother’s face. The light touch of Hermione’s hand across his cheek brought him back to reality. She kissed his neck, and he gently pulled her blouse out from her skirt and ran his hand up her bare back. But just when he started unbuttoning her blouse, he felt her hesitate. “Wait, there’s something I need to tell you,” she whispered, leaning her forehead against his. Her expression had changed from playful to serious. “What’s wrong?” He brushed a few strands of hair from her face. “Nothing’s wrong.” “Then why are you looking at me like that?” He asked hesitantly while pulling her closer. “Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s right, actually.” Her eyes had watered a bit but confusingly enough her serious expression had changed to a smile. Ron raised his eyebrows. “You’re talking in riddles, love.” She slowly took his hand and held it against her lower belly. “Can you guess?” She whispered in his ear. It took Ron a moment to process her words and the position of his hand. And slowly but surely it dawned on him and he felt the room spin for a moment. He moved a trembling hand to Hermione’s face, gently stroking his thumb over a tear that had escaped her beautiful brown eyes. “Are you sure?” “Absolutely positive.”

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E64 (May 28, 2019)

Another week, another adventure into the the wild and dangerous minds of BWF and his wacky sidekicks. I have to say, the quality of Critical Recap has increased dramatically since it first started. Awesome job, Dani! Tonight’s preroll is the celebration of the birthdays of Laura & Liam, which is today, May 28. For those who don’t know, this shared birthday is why they decided to create twins in the first campaign.

Tonight’s guests: Taliesin Jaffe & Matt Mercer.

Tonight’s announcements: Next Monday, June 3, the episode with Ashley Johnson of Between the Sheets will finally air at 7PM Pacific. Brian says she hates talking about herself, but he got her to open it up. They’re already filming season 3 of Between the Sheets, and that will drop monthly episodes once it begins airing. The My Little Pony oneshot, led by Mark Hulmes from High Rollers, will air this Friday night, May 31, at 7PM Pacific. Roger Craig Smith will be one of the special guest stars on that episode. Tales of Equestria will be loaded to YT on Sunday. Denver Pop Culture Con will be this coming weekend. Limited photo and autograph tickets are still available.

Episode 64: A Dangerous Chase

CR Stats: The phrase “end of the day” was used 11 times this episode. 5 things were invented: “don’t shoot the messenger,” “don’t beat a dead horse,” “par for the course,” the game of golf, and ravioli. Laura held Jester’s astonished look for 15 seconds. CR has now aired over 800 hours in total.

DMing for Colbert was surreal for Matt. It was a week one pipe dream for Matt, which means he was a little afraid it would be a letdown. As soon as they began talking about Stephen’s history, he started feeling more comfortable, but it wasn’t until he saw the first cut the next day where he realized how great it had been. He hopes it isn’t the last opportunity they have to play together. They managed to raise over $100,000 for Red Nose Day.

Caduceus is taking a Mary Poppins approach to talking to people as a way of teaching by example. He hopes people will realize that you don’t have to always use violence to get the information you want. Taliesin, on the other hand, realizes that will never happen. Matt talks about how much he really likes the the impact Caduceus has had on the game, and both Tal & Matt talk about the 3-4 day planning session they had on what high wisdom/low int looks like. “That’s rough, buddy.” “Ahh, that’s exactly what that looks like.”

The M9′s deception during Speak with Dead was a little better than Matt had anticipated, so he gave away a little more information than he’d originally intended. Tal talks about how this must have been something Clay watched happen many times growing up in a funeral home, seeing his family Speak with Dead in order to give peace to a grieving family. It’s an interesting juxtaposition of seeing something his family used a bunch of times growing up being used in a very different way now.

The Charis DC was just because it was a very very high DC--but not impossible. There are people in the world who know about it, but they wouldn’t have reason to cross paths with the M9. It would be like an archaeologist.

The stern Cad during the interrogation was partly an act, because he was trying to perform, but also because there’s a bit of Cad we haven’t seen yet. They all agree that in the cast of CR Ashley is the most actual zen. Everyone agrees Travis isn’t even in the running.

Cosplay of the Week: @graviteacosplay with this nifty Nott cosplay.

Matt was a little surprised they took a path just straight through the Barbed Fields instead of taking a more circuitous, safer route. He expected the rest of the group to protest and was more surprised when they didn’t. They talk a bit about Fjord as an agent of both order and chaos and about how he’s trying to find his place in the world.

The near-death experience has left Cad in a place where he’s not making the best decisions right now. He knows this is dangerous, but he knows they need to check it out, and since they’re “on a mission from God,” everything they do is right. “His risk assessment is a little off right now.” Matt is delighted remembering Sam’s face; BWF points out it’s rare we get one on Sam like that.

The Sorrowsworn are scary because they’re entirely based on emotion. To further develop them, Matt likes looking at their abilities and basing their movement in a horror-film way off that. He knew he would get Travis; he wasn’t expecting to get the rest of the table. “I was very proud.”

Tal has no idea how Cad will process these horror creatures. He wasn’t frightened or freaked out by the grotesque, but he wasn’t really prepared for it, and having Caleb go unconscious was a bit of a fright.

Brian mentions for probably the third time in this show that the next season of Blindspot will be the last one. I’m getting the feeling he’s very ready for it to be done.

When Matt was developing Xhorhas, he wanted to develop all these other societies without the ties to the dark gods. How would they develop with their clan ties? What about as people were assimilated into the clans? What tropes has he seen in other media that he needs to avoid? He talks about how when you build independent areas of your world, it’s a helpful thought experiment to imagine what would happen if they collided. He developed a lot of Xhorhas in pockets and then put it all together.

Tal asks Matt if he was surprised they’d picked up the dodeca. He wasn’t exactly surprised--he’d planned for pretty much all the outcomes of that particular early encounter. He’d meant it more as an exploration of the intro to the Xhorhas world and the Krynn dynasty.

Tal laughs about his very visible reaction to Laura’s Vex voice coming out of Jester this episode. It had nothing to do with his efforts at diplomacy later; he just realized he hadn’t been paying enough attention and had no idea what part of Jester this was supposed to be coming out of.

Fanart of the Week: Just a couple of bugs flyin around, by @_sunsetdragon.

In talking about Clay’s pranks on his siblings, he thinks at some point they at the very least took the bed of an errant sibling out while they were sleeping and put it in a tree overnight.

Matt talks about how if there’s nothing in the books that suits the monster he needs, he just creates one. Tal & Matt start talking about a monster he made for an old campaign called a Dragon Engine; it was designed to build a disease that turned all dragons in a world to crystal, which in turn slowly destabilized the world/planes. Matt took a Dollar Store doll head and covered it in Saran Wrap & hot glue with wings & tentacle bits in odd places. His inspiration was a fetus god boss from the Dark Stalker series. Tal remembers being so annoyed he made this amazing, horrifying creation out of four dollars’ worth of miscellanea. Matt talks about how you can do a lot of amazing things with a bit of hot glue (veins, paint, skinless surfaces).

Cad is aware that the the Xhorhouse is a stationary point in his quest; he is not measuring his quest via distance. He feels okay being stationary right now.

Dunamancy had nothing to do with Caleb; Matt had that inspiration on his own as he was developing the Krynn dynasty. It just ended up working very very well with Caleb’s backstory. He talks about how when he reads theories on Reddit about things linking up, 60-70% of them are actually complete coincidence.

Caduceus has zero interest in the war. At best he doesn’t really like the Empire, but Tal doesn’t think he has the intelligence to formulate a more complex opinion on the war. He has no stake in or understanding of the war in any deeper capacity.

Shakaste’s current location was made up on the spot. Everyone thinks about who Shakaste would main in Overwatch. Matt pulls out the McCree voice. Bastion’s short is Matt’s favorite. BWF loves Reinhardt’s. All three of them start talking about John Wick 3 which I HAVEN’T SEEN YET, GDI, if they spoil that I’m going to weep bitter tears of bitterness. Okay, good, we get out alive.

And we’re done and done! We linger on a shot of Matt & Tal trying to figure out why Episode #69 is funny... (nice).

[nigelgodrichproducer]

Nigel Q&A in The Guardian

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/live/2020/feb/21/nigel-godrich-webchat-ultraista-radiohead-producer

Nigel did a very nice Q&A for The Guardian. Reproduced here for posterity’s sake: 

Q: I saw Atoms for Peace at the Roundhouse [in London]. The lot of you seemed exceptionally into it. How much of a thrill was it to play with Flea? He seemed totally lost in the gig at points. I think Flea is one of the greatest human beings I've ever had the good fortune to spend time with, let alone make music with. He's such a generous player and probably my most rock'n'roll moment is standing on stage staring at his face 6 inches from mine, or when he jumps up on my riser. Massive respect to that guy, and you should read his book. Q: Nowadays, I’m asked to master tracks for Instagram and Spotify as opposed to vinyl and CD. What’s your view about how streaming has affected everything? – John Davis, Metropolis Mastering That's what my book's going to be about... Q: How do you use intuition as a tool in your productions and how do you know when something you are working on is finished? You mentioned Talk Talk and Mark Hollis – he stopped when he thought he could not add anything new. Can you imagine yourself doing something entirely different? Definitely. And it has crossed my mind many times - working more in visuals, videos, even film. But these days the hard thing is finding the time, when you keep getting sucked into exciting things you want to do, and can do. I could definitely write a book and I've enjoyed doing stuff on radio. Q: Is there any track from any artist you’ve worked with that you are particularly proud of? Something that brings back great memories when you listen to it? Sure! How about Diamond Bollocks from Beck's Mutations? Which was just the studio equivalent of sitting in a hot tub drinking champagne with a bunch of your best mates, and two days very well spent I would say. I'll always enjoy listening back to that sonic postcard. Q: Pavement’s Terror Twilight is one of my favourite albums and sounds incredible. But the band broke up soon after it was released and I understand that relationships were strained. Did you enjoy producing that album, and how do you think it holds up to the rest of your work? Yes I love that record actually, it's one of my favourites and I enjoyed making it immensely. It was such an adventure to fly off to America to make a record with people I hadn't met. Maybe there were some internal politics, as there are in any band, but I made friend forever in Stephen and I think I performed my role well: my idea was to make something that stood up straighter and felt like it might reach people who were turned off by the beautiful sloppiness of other Pavement records. I just thought they were such a good band and wanted them to reach a bigger audience. The writing may have been on the wall even before I got there, but I don't think I had any part of that, and I heard they're getting back to play shows, so there's always a happy ending, right? Q: Any chance of another Basement session? I would love to and plan to do more from the basement. Watch some space somewhere, but it was such an enjoyable thing to do and I look back on it as a great archive of those times. For sure it will happen. Q: Where did the artwork for the new Ultraísta album come from? Part of the fun of doing this album with Laura and Joey is the creative elements of all the stuff that isn't music. So for example we do all our own artwork and videos, and the cover is a photo I took of Laura inspired by one of my favourite photographers, Gjon Mili, a Hungarian-American photographer. We also made a lot of video content which is bleeding out into the universe slowly and relates to the album and its theme of colours, and also includes a lot of footage from the London Underground which is a particular obsession of mine. I'm great at dinner parties. Q: How hard is it making an album? How hard is a piece of string? It totally depends on a million factors. The imperative nature of your delivery date, or maybe just whimsical noodlings that can continue for some time. Or it can be really very hard, and you have to coax people who are struggling through a very difficult process. I feel like I've had every version of this. And it can be quite leisurely, eg the Ultraista record, which was what I would call a country club style social bonanza. We could take our time and work on it when we had time, and even though the challenges were there, it was actually quite natural and easy. Q: What do you listen to as you’re trying to fall asleep? I cannot fall asleep with any music playing, at all. I cannot have sex with any music playing at all. I cannot do any other activity, as my brain just tunes into it involuntarily and I'm rendered incapacitated. Q: How much Marmite do you consume? A daily teaspoon. Q: You seem to shy away from technical-oriented discussions. Any reasons for doing so? A lot of bands have noted how quickly you work and that you’re not too precious about the recording process, yet the final result comes off as meticulous. Do you have any insight into how to move fast and capture the energy of the moment? Do you organise the studio and control room in a way that is responsive to any creative situation? The reason is because I think people attach too much weight to equipment and studio trickery when the reality is I consider the most important part of making records is about musical sensibility and communication with those involved, and the notes, and the words. I get very annoyed with people asking me what my favourite microphone is. It doesn't matter. These days I don't even use the expensive ones. One of the reasons why music has become generally worse, and I'm sorry to say that, is that people think about technology more than the actual music they're making. So sue me. To your second question, see the above answer! The recording process is best when fast, because it's then the smallest obstacle to the actual music. That doesn't mean the end result shouldn't be absolutely meticulous and pored over for hours and reconsidered and reframed and sat in different places, whatever, but how far you keep you kick drum from the mic really doesn't matter. Q: Those of us who shelled out for the deluxe edition of A Moon Shaped Pool also received a small length of half-inch tape alleged to have been retrieved from actual Radiohead sessions dating back to Kid A. Were any lost and unreleased gems included as part of this Willy Wonka-like scavenger hunt, or is my piece of tape likely to contain something disappointing, like Colin Greenwood practising a bass run? This is absolutely true. I was staring at mountains of half inch tape reels from the Kid A sessions and felt sad because they were all very soon going to be unplayable useless bits of plastic that would just contaminate the environment. And thought it would maybe be better to send them off to some people who would appreciate them, so as part of the packaging with Stanley Donwood, we realised we have enough tape to wrap each special edition with a small length of it. On each tape is part of an outtake, alternative mix, instrumental, something that would have been thrown away when it became unplayable. It just felt poetic to send it out into the universe. Unfortunately I don't think people truly understand what they have... Q: What was it like working with Roger Waters? Did you consciously avoid “big guitar solos” to negate it sounding like David Gilmour/Pink Floyd. Roger is a fascinating character, really a genius. The whole experience was incredible, being able to watch this guy thinking his way around things, particularly with words and motifs and conceptual ideas. Again one of my rules in that case was there would be no big guitar solos - in the same way as the McCartney thing, I was interested in another musician, and wanted to hear him speak, and hear his musicality. As the usual formula with his solo work seems to be to find some soundalike, and use that Guitar Hero equation, which I feel is lame. So the decision was to use orchestration as a musical foil to the beauty of his simplicity and songwriting which would keep the light and focus on the words he was writing. And keep the focus of the whole work simpler. Q: I would imagine that very few people question Paul McCartney’s methods in the studio. How difficult (or not) was it to say to him, “How about doing it this way?” during the making of Chaos and Creation in the Backyard? Well, that was the entire point! Like I mentioned before, he called me, so I was able to dictate my terms, so to speak. My general appraisal was that I was more interested in him rather than the people around him, so persuading him to play everything was part of the "method" that allowed us to move forward with this work. That worked very well. His charm as a musician is astronomic and undeniable, he's a very intelligent musical person. He was very brave and put up with a lot of crap from me - he could have told me to fuck off at any point, but he really met in the middle to see this experiment through, and I left with even more respect for him than when I went in. Q: Really curious if you like classical music, and if so which pieces? Would you consider doing Big Ears festival [in Tennessee]? Yes, I would not claim to be an aficionado in any respect, but I'm a big fan of Debussy's Preludes, and one of my favourite pieces of music is his Arabesque No 1. I also love Prokofiev in general, and Erik Satie's Gymnopedies really get me going on a Sunday. Q: Is it true that much of The King of Limbs was recorded with the software Max/MSP? If it is true, how much of a hand did you have in programming and using Max/MSP? Jonny Greenwood seems to have taken all the credit … This is basically bollocks. I went to a dinner party 15 years ago and sat next to a Stanford grad who told me about this software, Max/MSP, and took it back to Johnny. He's used it on and off on lots of things, as have I. King of Limbs is made up of everyone throwing pieces of audio together - Johnny used Max/MSP in that case to link up a turnable via a piece of software called Miss Pinky. The result was a huge and gigantic mess that took me about a year and a half to unravel, and then Thom wrote over the top. So there you have it. Q: Thank you for your inspiring work! Do you have a favourite Joni Mitchell album? Joni Mitchell is my favourite human artist of all time, she is incredible. I have to give you a top three. 1. Hejira 2. The Hissing of Summer Lawns 3. For the Roses But would say all of her output between Blue and Mingus is untouchable. She is a unique combination of musical and lyrical talent. She's pretty much the only person I find can write a narrative lyrically that can remain poetic but articulating, communicating, beyond the abstract; it's very specific and very beautiful. And as a musician she dug deep into so many vats of folk and jazz, still managing to spin her incredible voice into the mix. Q: Created an account just for this. I’m a human person who enjoys audio production and engineering a lot. I’m quite shy when it comes to working with other interesting music folk, mainly down to the fact I have no idea how to write a melody. I love sounds and atmospheres, making things sound full and all that great stuff. The question I’m really getting at is: when was the first time you knew you could do this? Did that moment happen at all? And how has your relationship to music evolved? Bit of a belter of a question, but you asked for this so I don’t feel bad. I think I realised, retrospectively, that from an early age I had a fascination for recording. My dad worked at the BBC as a sound man and as a child I was surrounded by the tools of his trade so I always watched enviously and wanted to play with things. When I was very young I asked for a machine to make records, like really young, and he told me in his calm wise way: no I couldn't. But he bought me a cassette machine, so I could go around and record things: the TV, the train set, running water, things that sounded interesting when they were played back. I always aspired when I started recording music in studios, I tried to emulate my heroes, like the Trevor Horns, but found what worked best was going with the things I could do well which were an organic-ness to sound, rather than a clinical shinyness, which I loved to listen to. Making a dark brown soup was more my skill, that making a big fairy cake. I was wise to go with the things I was good at - isn't that the art of life? Q: What compels you to commit to a project? Is it a different circumstance each time? Can you please produce Keane’s next album? Tom Chaplin is a fan, I’m sure you know! Yes definitely, every project is different, but I would say I'm very wary of people's preconceptions and expectations, and generally my first question to them is: what do you think I'm going to do? Just so they don't have some idea that I'm going to repeat something I've done before or make them sound like someone else I've worked with. Generally I can make a fair appraisal of whether I have something valuable to contribute and will generally like what we can do together. I'm not under any illusion that I can improve someone I'm already a fan of so I never approach anyone  – they have to ask me. Q: Are you a night owl? If so, how do you deal with society’s preference for early birds? Do you suffer from insomnia? Hell yes. Nothing great happens before dinner. I have always been like this, I have always leapt out of my bunk bed as a child at 3am to run across and start building something out of a piece of wood, or do a drawing- all creativity happens in my brain at night. I deal with the unfair preference of early birds in society by having chosen a career whereby I get to dictate my hours. I wouldn't dream of starting a working day before lunchtime. Producers start flowing over coffees at dinnertime. I like the isolation at night - there's no background noise, and you can really focus. And also night, it's has a dark cloak of melancholy which makes you connect to something inside, in a way you can't do when the sun is shining. Daytimes are for nice walks in the park - nighttimes are for sitting alone at a laptop. Q: What state are the songs in when you start working with an artist? What is the variant that most changes in the production process? Structure, aesthetics, sound? Love from Argentina! Every single version of the process is different. Sometimes you have everything completely written; siometimes it's a case of building a song from a fragment of audio that's created abstractly, which is the case with Thom's solo work and a lot of Radiohead work. Even if a song is finished you can still improve it with editing and working out what it's strengths and weaknesses are. And also how to present it as an orchestration, or sonically if there's a trick you can use to make it pull you in. I like all versions of this, because they use different parts of your brain, but sometimes it's great to be given amazing songs and a blank slate to make them happen - that hasn't happened for a while! :-) Q: You’ve worked with countless musicians. Do you adapt to their work process, do you propose a process, or is it an exchange? And with Ultraísta, specifically, did you have the same process with the second album [Sister, out in March] as with the first? Did all the time in between the two influence the way you produced an album together? Can’t wait to listen to Sister! There are no rules to methodology, in fact the skill is creating a new method each time that will generate work which will generate output, which then becomes the work. Every time you start with a band that's two guitars, bass and drums you hit the same brick wall, and it's my job to think of a quick fun way to kick the ball out of the pitch, and remain focused enough to catch it when it gets thrown back in again. With Ultraista, what started as an exercise in wordplay and groove construction on the first record this time has become a more refined process and in an effort to make more song like structures. We are all indeed different people from when we made the first things and we're amused by different things, so thus the goalposts move - to keep the metaphor going - and the method changes. Q: Which producers and which records inspired you as a young would-be producer? As a kid, I was obsessed with Regatta de Blanc by the Police, and saw it was produced by Nigel Gray. A lightbulb went off that there was someone called Nigel doing this stuff. In terms of influences, there are ones with mythological status, like George Martin, or Trevor Horn, both of whose work I absolutely love for different reasons. Martin for his inventiveness and creative approach to the technology of the day, ie the new possibilities of multitrack tape, and the use of visual devices like sound effects. Trevor Horn for his obtuseness and skill as making artful pop music using, again, the tech of the day. Which could make bend and shape things to become bigger than real life and make the brain do somersaults. And then more direct practical influences on me such as the people who actually taught me, including Phil Thornalley, John Leckie, Steve Lillywhite, and others. These are people I watched directly and emulated. Q: What is your feeling/relationship with failure? Don’t mean to be a downer, just curious to learn about your journey when overcoming failure. This is a very good question. It also depends on where you're standing. A lot of things could have been better or were small failures, small battles in a larger war. You regard as part of the process moving forward what the end goal is you're trying to succeed. I wouldn't regard any of my work as massive successes as they're all attempts to achieve the unachievable. However, if you're referring to something like the Strokes episode, it wasn't a failure, neither of us walked away hurt from that experience. It was just fascinating. And everything else has been successful, hasn't it?? Q: It’s been a year since the great Mark Hollis passed away. How much of an influence were/are Talk Talk on the Radiohead sound and your work with the band as producer? For me, personally, I was a massive Talk Talk fan and I used to listen to those records endlessly, certainly Laughing Stock and Spirit of Eden. I think they were again things that really plugged into your feelings - our version of a classical symphony that you would start and listen through to the end. Q: Which album has the best atmosphere in its production? I can never get over how rich and ghostly Time Out of Mind by Bob Dylan and Daniel Lanois is. Every record is different and you feel different about every record as time passes, but I think In Rainbows is very evocative due to hte space we recorded it in. All the ambience on that record is real, it comes from the house we recorded it in, so that conjures up a very visual image for me when I think of that record. Also Beck's Sea Change is a very emotional record, evocative, which somehow crystallised perfectly sonically to me, and if I hear any part of it it takes me back to that time. Which I regard as a job well done. It's a conduit to your feelings, which is a goal, it's what you're trying to do. Q: When you’re making a record, do you try to listen to as much other music as possible to spark ideas? Or do you do the opposite – try and isolate any external music to not get thrown off what you set out to make? When I'm working on a project I don't listen to anything else, it's not out of choice, I'm just compelled to be focused on what I'm thinking about, and it stays with me when I leave the studio. I literally don't want to hear anyone else's music!

[d-criss-news]

For the audience at most award shows, “commercial breaks” involve the P.A. announcer offering a few instructions, or if you’re lucky, a clip reel or trivia package that gets shown on the screens. Generally the highlight is watching to see which celebrities make a bee-line to the bar in the lobby.

But at this year’s Tony Awards—held at Radio City Music Hall on Sunday evening—it felt like there was as much action during the commercial breaks as there was during the actual telecast. A handful of awards were handed out before the CBS broadcast began—by the trio of Moulin Rouge’s Aaron Tveit, Karen Olivo, and Danny Burstein—including a costume design award to famed designer Bob Mackie for his work on The Cher Show. And the honorary awards were also handed out during the commercial breaks with Judith Light, Rosemary Harris, Terrence McNally and others delivering their memorable, stirring acceptance speeches during the breaks.

But the most unexpected interstitial feature came courtesy of host James Corden, who emerged during three commercial breaks to lead a “karaoke” session with a celebrity in the audience. The firs time, he convinced good sport Ben Platt—sitting in the front row—to give it a shot, quipping “Where’s S.J.P.?” before launching into “Tomorrow” from Annie.

The second time around, Corden approached Darren Criss and Anthony Ramos, sitting near each other in the audience. They picked “96,000” from In The Heights, which Ramos ended up taking on on his own, pulling his Hamilton and In The Heights co-star Christopher Jackson, also sitting nearby, into the rendition.

——

Immediately following the telecast, the majority of the winners made their way several blocks uptown to the Plaza, for the official gala after-party. Corden entered at around 11:45pm, right along with To Kill a Mockingbirdwinner Celia Keegan-Bolger, as well as Constitution’s Heidi Schreck. Boys in the Band cast members Matt Bomer, Andrew Rannells, Zachary Quinto, Jim Parsons, and Charlie Carverchatted in a group near the entrance, joined by Ryan Murphy, who also spent some time visiting with Corden. (Bomer also made his way over to Corden’s table—where the late-night host sat with his parents and others—to chat.) Criss, Jackson, Michael Urie, Cher Show winner Stephanie J. Block, Burn This’s Brandon Uranowitz, and more circulated near the dance floor. At nearly 1 a.m., as Light was making her way out, a man shouted to his friends, “Laura [Donnelly] and Jez [Butterworth] just got here!”, gesturing toward the table where the writer husband and actress wife, whose The Ferryman won best play, sat.

The night wound down at the very bustling O&M party, held each year at the Carlyle Hotel. The Boys in the Bandcrew held court, in full force, as Ruth Wilson, Tom Sturridge, Laurie Metcalf, Sara Bareilles, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Porter, and others navigated the space. High school B.F.F.s Beanie Feldstein and Ben Plattcongregated near the front, with Feldstein’s Booksmart co-star Molly Gordon and other friends.

The party closed down with a performance as impromptu as the Corden karaoke bits during the actual awards; at about 3 a.m. Darren Criss sat down at the piano, in the back room— of the party, to perform “Tiny Dancer” (apparently a new hot trend!. “Happy Tonys!” he shouted before signing off; sunrise, at this point, was just a few hours away.

[darrencrissarmy]

For the audience at most awards shows, “commercial breaks” involve the P.A. announcer offering a few instructions, or if you're lucky, a clip reel or trivia package that gets shown on the screens. Generally the highlight is watching to see which celebrities make a beeline to the bar in the lobby.

But at this year’s Tony Awards—held at Radio City Music Hall on Sunday evening—it felt like there was as much action during the commercial breaks as there was during the actual telecast. A handful of awards were handed out before the CBS broadcast began—by the trio of Moulin Rouge’s Aaron Tveit, Karen Olivo, and Danny Burstein—including a costume-design award to famed designer Bob Mackie for his work on The Cher Show. And the honorary awards were also handed out during the commercial breaks, with Judith Light, Rosemary Harris, Terrence McNally, and others delivering their memorable, stirring acceptance speeches during the breaks.

But the most unexpected interstitial feature came courtesy of host James Corden,who emerged during three commercial breaks to lead a “karaoke” session with a celebrity in the audience. The first time he convinced good sport Ben Platt—sitting in the front row—to give it a shot, quipping, “Where’s S.J.P.?” before launching into “Tomorrow” from Annie.

The second time around, Corden approached Darren Criss and Anthony Ramos, sitting near each other in the audience. They picked “96,000” from In the Heights, which Ramos ended up taking on on his own, pulling Hamilton and In the Heights alum Christopher Jackson, also sitting nearby, into the rendition.

And for the third go-round, Corden recruited Pose star Billy Porter who, in what should be no surprise, brought down the house. He fully performed “Everything’s Coming Up Roses" from Gypsy, joking “I hope it’s in the right key” about the piano accompaniment before belting, flawlessly, the first line. He later claimed “I didn’t come here to work tonight!” but also made his way from his seat to the stage, receiving a standing ovation from the audience when he was cut off, right as the show returned from the break.

The crowd was generally buoyant during the three-hours-and-change show. Best musical winner Hadestown and play What The Constitution Means to Me generally seemed to garner the most applause, as did the speeches with a message to them, including Ain’t Too Proud choreographer Sergio Trujillo’s non-televised speech about arriving in the U.S. as an illegal immigrant, and Hadestown director Rachel Chavkin’s speech in which she discussed her being the only woman who directed a Broadway musical this year. Veteran winners Elaine May (The Waverly Gallery) and André De Shields (Hadestown) also ignited the crowd, as did Oklahoma!actress Ali Stroker, who uses a wheelchair, as the crowd immediately leaped to their feet when her name was called.

Immediately following the telecast, the majority of the winners made their way several blocks uptown to the Plaza, for the official gala after-party. Corden entered at around 11:45pm, right along with To Kill a Mockingbird winner Celia Keegan-Bolger, as well as Constitution’s Heidi Schreck. Boys in the Band cast members Matt Bomer, Andrew Rannells, Zachary Quinto, Jim Parsons, and Charlie Carver chatted in a group near the entrance, joined by Ryan Murphy, who also spent some time visiting with Corden. (Bomer also made his way over to Corden’s table—where the late-night host sat with his parents and others—to chat.) Criss, Jackson, Michael Urie, Cher Show winner Stephanie J. Block, Burn This’s Brandon Uranowitz, and more circulated near the dance floor. At nearly 1 a.m., as Light was making her way out, a man shouted to his friends, “Laura [Donnelly] and Jez [Butterworth] just got here!”, gesturing toward the table where the writer husband and actress wife, whose The Ferryman won best play, sat.

The night wound down at the very bustling O&M party, held each year at the Carlyle Hotel. The Boys in the Band crew held court, in full force, as Ruth Wilson, Tom Sturridge, Laurie Metcalf, Sara Bareilles, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Porter, and others navigated the space. High school B.F.F.s Beanie Feldstein and Ben Platt congregated near the front, with Feldstein’s Booksmart co-star Molly Gordon and other friends.

The party closed down with a performance as impromptu as the Corden karaoke bits during the actual awards; at about 3 a.m. Darren Criss sat down at the piano, in the back room of the party, to perform “Tiny Dancer” (apparently a new hot trend!. “Happy Tonys!” he shouted before signing off; sunrise, at this point, was just a few hours away.

[epilogue-and-prologue]

To Protect and To Serve - Part II : The Training

Note: Same Drill.

Note/Warnings: Panic Attack. (1848 Words)

Disclaimers: None of these belong to me.

“But she likes to wear dresses!”

You could not believe what Clint’s kids had done to the poor dog.

July was nowhere to be seen, as was Steve, probably doodling somewhere in peace but leaving you and Bucky on your own with Clint and Tony’s barbecue shenanigans.

You were not supposed to be here in the first place, but you began to know a little bit more about the Avengers spending so much more time with Steve and Bucky as you organized illegal training sessions with Dori—Dorito started to get long after 4 hours calling after her. The training was hard, since the dog itself was traumatized and often it was the one getting help from Buck and not the other way around. Dori turned out to be a pretty big goof, running after pigeons even as she approached the age of one.

This was your typical Sunday barbecue only it was to introduce you to the team. Yeah, introducing your “friend who works with therapy dogs for veterans” to your superhero co-workers, nothing wrong there. Steve had insisted but you would not budge. It was when Dori and Bucky intervened that you had to say yes. Who could say no to two strays with the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen?

A beer in one hand and sitting on the porch with Bucky at your feet Wanda, Natasha and Laura—Barton’s wife—at your left you were admiring the skills of two grown-ass men bickering over barbecue.

“I don’t think they’ll be over soon enough. I’m starting to get hungry.

 —Don’t worry. It’s a family tradition. They’ve got it nailed down to the last minute.

 —The sausages will be ready first then chicken and then steaks. And before it’s over there will be marshmallows ‘for the kids’ and more bickering over who makes the best marshmallows.”

You nodded, impressed by the whole plan. Watching the kids play, you pushed Bucky in the shoulder a little. He turned to you, a few strands of hair falling in his face as the rest were tied up in a small bun.

“Well, Buck aren’t you gonna say something? Dori is run at by children who want to dress her up.

 —But look at her! She’s having fun. And I’m tired of running after her when she runs after pigeons.

 —This is not you, Buck. This is Dori. She loved to run after pigeons and any animal that has an ability she hasn’t—you saw her run after Vision for an hour, haven’t you?—but you also know she is scared as hell of kids. So let me tell you it does not help her. Just pick her up and feed the poor animal already. Then the kids can play with her and you.

 —Why me?

 —She’s your dog to take care of, Bucky.

 —... Good point.”

Leaving his bottle behind, he patted your knee, smiled at you and left to get his dog. You smiled fondly at the gesture. From afar you could see the kid gathering around him and talking to him. Bucky with Dori in his arm seemed less frightened than she used to before. He smiled at the kids before taking the dog to the car and feeding her giving him her medicine carefully. He was being affectionate with the puppy.

Wanda snapped you out of your thought.

“I’m going on a training weekend with Laura next week. It is taught by a retired SHIELD agent. Self-defense classes style. You wanna come?

 —Me? You sure about that?

 —Well, you’re one of us now. Better learn how to defend yourself, don’t you think?”

It was not something you had thought about. You had not thought the thought through. Helping Dori and the boys was fun, but it was your job anyhow. You could always tell yourself you had a way out of this, letting one of your colleagues take the lead.

The whole Avengers thing, on the other hand. It was not something you asked for. Not that it bothered you, but you never realized you could be a possible target because of your relationship with them.

Laura intervened.

“Don’t let yourself be pushed. Take your time. I could not get myself to learn when Clint joined the Avengers. Only when I saw on TV and what was happening I realized had to do something other than just sit around, especially after the pregnancy. It takes time to really understand the meaning of what it is to be surrounded by super-enhanced-power-wielding people.”

You gulped down a bit of beer before nodding slowly.

You turned to Wanda.

“I’ll let you know. Do you think I could have your email or something to tell you?

 —Yeah. Give me your phone I’ll give you my number.”

And before you could know what was happening your phone went around and you had Natasha and Laura’s number too. You did not know why Natasha left you her number, but you did not dare question it. Laura, on the other hand, told you directly why she had done so.

“If ever you need a day or two out of the city. Or someone to talk to. The line is open.”

She smiled, and you could not help but do the same. She left to check inside the house.

“Hey girls! Have you seen Buck I need him to help set the table?

 —You need him to set the table?

 —Yeah. Laura asked, and I could not get myself to say no.

 —Liar.

 —Natasha...

 —She’s right you’re a shitty liar.

 —(Y/N) et tu?

 —Come on Captain don’t act like a child set the table. You don’t need your best buddy for that!”

He sighed heavily, not even bothering to respond as he walked back into the house. You looked at the two other women and laughed. Dori arrived at your feet on that a toy sneezing in her mouth every time she chewed on it. Bucky was not far behind.

Suddenly he started clutching his chest visibly trying to calm his breathing. The dog did not drop the toy as she made his way toward him. You followed the noise with an eye and you landed on Bucky’s. His pupils were wide, and you could see the anxiety invading his features. You jumped to your feet and quickly jogged up to him. Dori was beside him as he closed his eyes slowly breathing in and out. It was all in slow motion to you but ever more to the dog. The attack would not dissipate. Bucky sat down in the grass as Dori climbed up his lap and nestled against his chest. You did not try to say a word or draw attention to you in any way. Even with that the Labrador went to you, barking to get your attention and draw you nearer. Maybe she had felt your tension. Maybe she had felt that his owner needed someone close by. You could not say but as you came to Bucky’s feet he let out a whimper. He was crying as he felt anxiety and derealization rise in his throat. You reached out on instinct, stopping yourself midway. Your heartbeat was in your ears making you deaf and blind to everything around you but him.

He finally allowed his body to relax a little as the worst of it had passed, then he raised his eyes to you.

Tears went down his cheeks as he nodded almost imperceptibly for you to get closer.

Your hand was shaking as you placed it on his head, slowly letting him fall against your chest. You felt him tense under your fingers. He was still, not moving except for his thumb slowly petting Dori.

July arrived with Steve in tow.

Your hand slipped from the hair to his back, your other hand cupping his cheek with just the tip of your fingers before letting the palm of your hand completely meet his skin. He did not seem to notice the gesture until he turned his face into the small embrace and ever so lightly left a breath and a kiss in your palm making your heart jump. If you had not been so worried, you would not have noticed the way his lips curled when he let his cheek rest into your hand. You were on the verge of crying, wanting nothing but to fully embrace him, fully take him in, not ever letting him go out of your sight.

After a few minutes, he broke the touch, and Laura accompanied you inside the house.

Dori was snoozing in Bucky’s arms and July was at Tony’s feet enjoying the scraps she could get from him as he was still dealing with the whole barbecue thing. Steve sat down on the couch next to his friend, with several cups of tea on a tray.

The sun was shining so brightly outside. The kids were back outside playing ball. As if nothing happened.

You were staring through the window when Natasha approached you.

She gave you somewhat of an apologizing smile and a steaming mug.

“I’m sorry you had to witness this. Don’t beat yourself too much though, Bucky is strong he can handle it.”

She saw your questioning look and came closer to you as if she was telling you a secret.

“It’s not the first time this happened.”

On that she cut you off before you could answer.

“I’ve seen many relationships start and end with what you two have. He feels he can trust you and you feel like you can save him. Maybe you’re right maybe you’re not. Maybe it’s the other way around. No one knows but you both. Let me warn you though: He’s barely out of his shell yet. He has a hard time looking people in the eye or going out on his own. Make a choice about this relationship. Start or end it. Soon. Before you get your hopes up more preferably. Before it hurts both of you.”

You nodded, a bit dazed by what she just told you. You did not really understand but figured it would make sense later. She kept talking.

“Oh, and be careful I might have spiced up the tea a bit. To give you strength.”

She slapped your shoulder and went back to the living room.

What the hell were you supposed to do with this? Damn it! You were an acquaintance, a friend maybe not anyone he would see as more than that, right? He could not, he did not have the time nor the thoughts for that. He was... Crumbling down and you were helpless. You wanted to help. You just did not know how. You wanted to be there for him. You wanted to be there. You only wished you could.

You only wished you did not listen to a word she said. But you did. Because you cared. You knew for weeks, it just did not seem fair to admit it but how were you going to say goodbye to Bucky Barnes if you had already fallen for him?

[never-not-ever]

I literally had a semi long nearly finished post last night but I exited the app to check the spelling of a word and when I came back poof it was all gone and I was so pissed!!

So here’s some little quick bullets

•Last Thursday I met with Laura, and I’m going to start seeing her in the end of May for therapy. Things technically don’t end for me and Dr. Broderick until June 11th but Laura mentioned overlapping the last few weeks so that the transition is a little easier. She has a private practice which I’ll go to but she also does a group here at McLean and she’s good friends with the Dr. who runs my DBT group so I’m happy about that because I love her and Laura said they’re really similar!

•Sunday I went to a wedding shower with my girlfriend and it was a little weird cause I was in this flowery dress and looked so girly when right now I’m literally in black combat boots, black leggings, black long sleeve shirt with my black work shirt and black nails 😂😂😂. Some guy sitting at our table liked my Pop Soocket that’s literally two skeleton hands doing this 🤘🏻 so I can only imagine the confusion!

•After the shower I went to my friend Chris’s house to talk to his mom about the house and his two Shih Tzus that I’m going to be watching when they all go on vacation in May. I already told his mom that I’m going to take so many selfies with them and I might get some party hats and have a little doggy birthday party for myself cause my bday is May 9th while they’re away.

•On Tuesday me and my girlfriend drove along the coast up to Maine and it was such a great day! I love driving and the coast was so beautiful. The farther north we went the weather got more and more shitty and at one point it was hailing!

•My work schedule til Easter is so hectic since I’m a floater and everyone in the florist departments need extra help. On Sunday I’m literally working in two different stores but at the end of the day that’ll be 10 hours of time and a half so hello money! On Monday I’m working in Framingham (another time and half day 👌🏻). Basically next week I’ll be in 5 different stores which I think is a record for me 🤔.

•I scheduled my neuro Psych Test for the end of April and I’m really hoping to get some answers and possibly some sort of new treatment plan with new meds.

•I’m hoping to go back to school in the Fall and be on the path to finishing my associates degree so I can eventually transfer to Lesley. My new therapist actually graduated from Lesley and I know a lot of people that have gone there and I really think it’ll be a good fit for me. But I have to keep working full time so it might take me a little longer to finish at community college so Lesley is like years away which is discouraging but I just have to keep thinking of my goals and it’ll happen.

•On Tuesday me and my girlfriend are going to look at an apartment up in Gloucester and so far it looks absolutely perfect! It’s right near the commuter rail for her to get to work, they allow cats and dogs, it’s only a $500 deposit as opposed to some apartments wanting first, last and security which is like 3x the rent up front! I just want to check out drive times for me and travel times for her so that we know before we do anything how long our commute will be and if we’re okay with that.

All and all things are looking good! It’s weird cause my diary card for this past week was full of amazing things something my therapist mentioned and then we spent most of the session yesterday talking about the anniversary of my Aunts death on the 13th and it was a sad session and a sad time of year but the grief will pass. Although at times it feels excruciating cause she was basically my mother and raised me since I was 2 all the way up until she died when I was 19.

Okay enough of my long ass rambling post! Hope everyone has a great day☺️☺️

[fazcinatingblog]

why would dunkley leave his boyfriend to go to brisbane to be closer to his SISTER????? gross. why.

[daniellethamasa]

Hey all, Dani here.

Oh man, welcome back to another post in my series of weekly wrap-up posts, where I talk about what I’ve read, watched, played, and tried in the last week, as well as my current reads, and what I’m hoping to accomplish in the next week. Wow, that description doesn’t sound all that exciting. Whoops. Look, guys, I’m sorry if this doesn’t read in an entertaining fashion like normal. I am physically exhausted. Between the stress at work and all of the packing and hauling boxes after the workday is over…both Damian and I are ready for this process to be over with. I just keep reminding myself that it will all be worth it. We just have to make it through the next week or so and then we can just focus on settling into our new home.

And the new house means a new library set-up, and you know I’m excited to take you all on a library tour. It will be fantastic…just as soon as I get my entire collection back on the shelves again. There are so many boxes marked “library” currently sitting in the master bedroom’s closet right now.

Anyway, because of the busy moving and packing schedules, I haven’t really accomplished a whole lot of reading, but I have still made some progress, so let’s just get into it.

Like, I have started and finished one book in the last week, and that is The Storm Runner by J.C. Cervantes, and I really enjoyed this one–and seriously, can I have the second book already? No. I guess I have to wait until September like everyone else.

My current read is Wundersmith: The Calling of Morrigan Crow by Jessica Townsend, and as of last night I was about halfway finished with it, so I’m pretty pleased with my progress. I am enjoying this one just as much as the first one, so I’m hoping that it won’t take me much longer to finish this one, though then I’ll be stuck waiting until we get news about the next one.

Obviously, my upcoming reading plans still include Sal and Gabi Break the Universe by Carlos Hernandez, and The Trials of Apollo: The Burning Maze by Rick Riordan, but I’m also adding York: The Shadow Cipher by Laura Ruby to the roster (you know, in case I find the time to get through the other books on my anticipated TBR).

As for everything else going on, Damian and I are keeping up with the dub releases for Black Clover season 2 on Funimation, and we have finished Season 8 of Doctor Who–Damian is really liking Capaldi’s take on the Doctor so far, and we also watched Mulan, Tarzan, and Coco, because putting childhood Disney movies on is great background noise while packing and/or getting ready for bed.

This weekend is going to be a super busy one, because we have our standard games of D&D at the local game store on Friday evening (after a full day of work–yuck), and then hopefully the final bit of moving Saturday morning, followed by more D&D with the friends, and then Sunday might just be a day of doing a full clean of the apartment so we can be ready to hand the keys to the landlady and start this new chapter of our lives.

So it’s going to be fun, and interesting. Oh, and I found out that they have announced the date for the next session of Dewey’s 24 Hour Readathon, so stay tuned for my announcement post and TBR coming pretty soon.

Weekly Wrap-Up (5) Hey all, Dani here. Oh man, welcome back to another post in my series of weekly wrap-up posts, where I talk about what I've read, watched, played, and tried in the last week, as well as my current reads, and what I'm hoping to accomplish in the next week.

[amtlsp]

Miles Kane - Killing the Joke (2018.08.26 @ BBC Radio 5 Live)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOs8cwdm5bU Laura Whitmore's Sunday Session on BBC Radio 5 Live [ x ] ※Photos： https://amtlsp.tumblr.com/post/177412176626/x-x-x-x-x-photo-by-jay ※ Interview： http://naughtywritersjournal.tumblr.com/post/177426341196/miles-its-like-a-beautiful-laura-love-story

[theultimatefan]

Shatner, ’Smallville,’ ’Sons of Anarchy’ Q&As Among Top Programming at FAN EXPO St. Louis, May 13-15

From celebrity Q&As to industry, cosplay, gaming, anime and entertaining, informative sessions from all areas of pop culture, FAN EXPO St. Louis presents its collection of nearly 150 programing panels and meetups during the event, Friday through Sunday, May 13-15 at America’s Center. There’s truly something for every fan and every taste every hour of the show into the evening throughout all three days of the convention, right until Sunday’s 5 p.m. finish.

FAN EXPO St. Louis celebrity guests like William Shatner (“Star Trek”), Guardians of the Galaxy’s Michael Rooker, the “Smallville” trio of Tom Welling, Michael Rosenbaum and Kristin Kreuk, “The Mandalorian” and Rocky standout Carl Weathers, “Clerks” cast members Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson and Trevor Fehrman, “Sons of Anarchy” trio of Ron Perlman, Theo Rossi and Ryan Hurst and others will conduct interactive sessions with fans, headlining the thorough slate.

On the comics front, fans will see dozens of informative, entertaining panels by superstar creators, plus “Sketch Duels” featuring a slew of talented artists.

Fans can review the entire event schedule at https://fanexpohq.com/fanexpostlouis/schedule/. Most panels are free with event admission. Just a few of the highlights include:

Friday: • 4 p.m. Anime Screening “Otoboku Maidens are Falling for Me” (eps. 1-2), Theater 6 • 5 p.m. All About Editing and Proofreading: Basics you Need to Know, Theater 3 • 5 p.m., Let’s Talk Todoroki! Q&A with MHA’s David Matranga, Theater 6 • 5 p.m., Nolan North – Going to Space, Space in Portal, Secondary Theater • 5 p.m., The Batman and Psychology: The Darkest Knight, hosted by Dr. Travis Langley, Theater 4 • 6 p.m, Carl Weathers – Taking Care of the Kid, Secondary Theater • 7 p.m., Ghostbusters Trivia, HQ Stage • 7 p.m., LGBTQIA+ Representation in Anime, Theater 6 • 8 p.m, Smallville Nights Special Event with Michael Rosenbaum, Tom Welling and Laura Richter, Theater 3 (*requires additional ticket) • 9 p.m., Official Cosplay Kick Off Party, Start Bar, 1000 Spruce St., FREE with any FAN EXPO badge

Saturday: • 11 a.m., Marvel vs. D.C.: Battle of the Cinematic Universes, Theater 3 • Noon, Avatar: The Last Airbender’s Prince Zuko - Dante Basco Q&A, Secondary Theater • Noon, Happy Happy Joy Joy with Billy West • 1 p.m., Droid Building – 3D Printing vs Traditional Building, Creator Stage • 1 p.m., Stars of Smallville, Michael Rosenbaum, Tom Welling and Kristin Kreuk, 1 p.m, Ferrera Theater • 2 p.m., Class Reunion! The Voices of My Hero Academia’s Students, Justin Briner, Luci Christian, David Matranga and Monica Rial. Ferrera Theater • 2 p.m, Ghosts of St. Louis: A Haunted City, Theater 4 • 3 p.m., 90s Disney Character Draft: Beyond the Mouse Podcast, Creator Stage • 3 p.m., Ron Perlman Talks Anarchy: We are a Motorcycle Club, Ferrera Theater • 4 p.m., Doctor Who: The Missing Episodes, Theater 4 • 4 p.m., Selling the Story: 21st Century Book Promotion and Marketing, Theater 3 • 4 p.m., Step Away from the Fryer – and Watch the Cast of Clerks, with Jeff Anderson, Trevor Fehrman and Brian O'Halloran, Ferrera Theater • 4 p.m, Theo Rossi – The ‘Juice’ in Sons of Anarchy, Secondary Theater • 5 p.m., A Morphin Fandom, Theater 3 • 5 p.m., Sketch Duel: Ariel Diaz vs Cam Adams, Theater 5 • 6 p.m., FAN EXPO St. Louis Cosplay Contest, Ferrera Theater • 7:30 p.m., The Jay and Silent Bob Show featuring Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith, Secondary Theater (*additional ticket required) • 9 p.m., Official FAN EXPO DJs & Drag Party at the Crack Fox Bar, free admission with any FAN EXPO St.Louis badge • 9 p.m., FAN EXPO Gaming Party at Start Bar, 1000 Spruce St., free admission with any FAN EXPO St. Louis badge

Sunday: • 11 a.m., Conversation with Supernatural’s Mark Sheppard, Ferrera Theater • 11 a.m., Millennial Memories of Anime and Cartoons presented by Anime Let's Talk Anime, Theater 6 • Noon, Nerd Life: Better Living with Comics, Theater 4 • Noon, William Shatner, Where No One has Gone before, Ferrera Theater • 1 p.m., Cosplay Painting and Weathering Master Class (*Special Ticketed Event) Theater 4 • 1 p.m., Michael Rooker – Pretty as an Angel, Ferrera Theater • 2 p.m., “Q” and A with Omnipotent John de Lancie, Ferrera Theater • 2 p.m., You’re Uravity! Q&A with MHA’s Luci Christian, Theater 6 • 2:30 p.m., Spray Paint Artist Derek Whitaker Demo, HQ Stage • 3 p.m, Oh Yeah Mario Time with Charles Martinet, 3 p.m. • 4 p.m., Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey: The Confusing and Often Infuriating Canon of ‘Doctor Who,’ Theater 4

FAN EXPO St. Louis will follow official government and local authority guidance as well as any venue or location-specific regulations. For more information on the health and safety measures in place, please visit fanexpostllouis.com.

[twistednuns]

January 2021

Creating art is about growing the world and increasing its reach, and it has more to do with the act of creation itself than what is actually made. Anything that animates us creatively in a positive way — be it the grand design of a great architectural wonder or the Big Bang of a child’s drawing — is a re-enactment of the original creation story. Whether we realise it or not, making art is a religious encounter as it is our attempts to grow beyond ourselves that energise the soul of the universe. (Nick Cave on shitty art)

Seeing the old library guy having dinner table with his wife. They even lit a candle. How celebratory.                                                                       

Writing a birthday message for Frank about my new beginnings and first days of the year.

Making my nails look as if I had dipped my fingertips into a jar of silver glitter.

How black and glossy blueberries suddenly become after being coated in my warm coconut porridge.

Shinto does not strictly divide the world between material and spiritual, nor between this world and an alternative perfect realm, but instead emphasises that intuitive spirituality facilitates the fusion and equilibrium of all realm. - Why Haruki Murakami is so very Japanese

Sporting a hickey on my neck like a basic 16-year-old.

Going new paths (on my daily walk).

Feeling really grateful for the habits I established last year. A daily walk, taking helpful supplements, flossing, hair and face masks before every shower. Cold showers! A reasonable bedtime. I'm incredibly excited about forming new habits this year! The first ones to tackle are meditation, strength training and a daily creativity practice.

Suddenly imagining the taste of strawberry sauce. Anticipating the first spaghetti ice-cream of the year.

Loving kindness meditation (!) and smiling meditation. Spotify's Wake Up/Wind Down podcast is really quite good, too.

Cracking the impossibly hard to reach spot in my back by twisting and stretching my right leg (who knew).

The first tulips of the year on my nightstand. I chose a dark yellow, almost ochre.

Sparkling water with passion fruit juice. All I could think of during the last minutes of a long and cold walk. Getting undressed. Stretching. Meditation.

Vivid dreams of diving. How I miss being underwater. At least I got to do it in the nightly virtual reality show, eh?

Walking in a winter wonderland. I hate snow but I do admit it's quite pretty when the whole forest is covered in white.

A friendly nod from the delivery guy with the amazing curls.

Running into the neighbourhood's wild cat. Giving him a good scratch.

My new salt crystal lamp. I love its warm light.

The random house on a street nearby with the word nest next to its doorbell. Is that really the family's name? Or just what they call their house? (I would totally get that as nest is one of my favourite words)

Kalimba covers. With cat. Wholesome.

Sinking my face into a pair of warm tracksuit pants which had been drying on the heater. The warmth and the fresh laundry smell were so nice.

Plucking icicles.

The fact that the sidewalks aren't quite as icy and slippery anymore (I hate having no proper grip when I'm walking).

A gorgeous animal atlas with really pretty drawings in one of the boxes with free stuff people often put out these days.

Sarah Wilson. I could hardly put her new book down and immediately started reading her book about anxiety when I was finished. In a way I feel really connected to her. What an inspiring woman! Another thing I love is how she structures her books. She merely numbers her paragraphs, some only a few lines long, some a few pages.

The taste of strawberries. It's hard to describe but somehow it lights up my brain? Can I say that?

Osteopathy. I don't know what she does or how she does it but Laura has magic hands. My body feels completely healed after a session with her.

Simply walking everywhere. I get my steps in and don't have to deal with annoying public transport or my shitty bike.

Peeking out of my shell: looking at people I came across on an early walk and saying good morning.

Little yellowhammer birds on my balcony. I've never seen them before around here. And the tiniest bird on one of my walks through the forest. Perhaps a wren?

Dreaming of India. Visiting a local family, inquiring about a "somatic reading" (whatever that is) but deciding that it was too expensive and watching them prepare food instead. Talking to the grandmother. Riding to their restaurant on the market in a little wagon together.

Lying in bed after taking a shower, bathing in sunlight.

Dorky donkey confetti paper tissues.

A very soothing video of a cat purring loudly got me through a lousy Thursday. I kept coming back to it every couple of hours and it actually helped.

I'm currently watching Chilling Adventures of Sabrina on Netflix. It was a bit hard to get into it at first because it's SO different from the series with Melissa Joan Hart I used to watch as a teenager but ever since that cheerleading scene where Sabrina and Ros perform to RUN DMC's It's Tricky I'm absolutely sold.

The other day there was a lady just standing at the edge of a field, watching her dog run around in the snow, enjoying the sunset. A very peaceful image.

More tulips: red ones this time, a smaller variety. I loved watching them blossom.

Collecting ideas and yellow objects for a yellow-themed letter.

These baby blue and pink sunrises I have been seeing lately.

A new magic trick: summoning dogs by simply holding their gaze for a while.

I hate snow. I really do. But I love how bright the light suddenly is. I smile apologetically at people shovelling snow when I walk by. The other day I stood under a branch when a couple shook the tree and let the snow fall down. I would have been mad if it hadn't been for my umbrella.

When the first and last bits of light colour the tree tops in a warm, gold and orange colour during sunrise and sunset.

The smell of my armpits (have we all stopped using deodorant during lockdown and are suddenly able to smell our armpits or is it just me) made me remember kids carnival parties at our local sports club. We wore cheap costumes made from synthetic fabric and were all super sweaty from running around all day as princesses, vampires and cowboys on a sugar high.

Learning the reason why snow melts faster under trees.

Listening to the New York Times' The Daily podcast. More speficially the Sunday Read (which mostly seems to feature the topics I'm really interested in). There was the wonderfully whimsical episode about the Cloud Appreciation Society. I'd never realised that Joni Mitchell's song Both Sides Now is about seeing shapes in clouds ("pareidolia"): Rows and flows of angel hair / And ice cream castles in the air / And feather canyons every where / Looked at clouds that way. Then there was this other episode about Moonstruck, a movie starring Cher and Nicholas Cage. At the end they keep playing the film music for a while before the episode slowly fades out. I was walking down a snowy alley and felt like the heroine in a late 90's movie (which I could also describe as end-of-century now, how peculiar).

Pelvic floor training. I have more strength, I'm taller and it somehow keeps straightening my back? I'm really impressed of how effective it is and am planning on learning more about the Cantienica method.

I know I'm late to the game but last night I watched the whole first season of Emily in Paris in one go. I needed something to cheer my up and, oh my, did Emily deliver. Well, not really her, but Paris. Everything about the serious can only be described as delicious. The food, the man candy, the fashion, colours and backdrop. While watching I kept thinking about outfit planning, exotic cuisine, roadtrips, kissing strangers, enjoying the good life. Oh how much I miss it. I feel awfully trapped in my apartment these days. One last thing I need to highlight: Sylvie, played by Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu, who is the real star of this series for me. She is just SO chic.

More light! I actually stand a chance to get home before sunset now when I head out late-ish for one of my daily walks.

A good talk with Lena. Home-made ramen. Watching en episode of Planet Earth and Blue Planet each.

Sourdough pizza with goat cheese, honey and fresh truffle.