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fullmarvelheart · 4 years

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Crossing Lines (1/?)

Pairing: mob!Bucky x fbi!mob!Reader

Word Count: 3,322

Series summary: A sudden and unsettling event rocks the underworld, and Y/N is immediately called in to prepare for what’s to come. What she isn’t prepared for is James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes, also known as the new head of the Brooklyn mafia clan. When these two get shoved into a world of danger and deceit, will they ever learn to trust each other? Or will they be doomed from the start?

Warnings: Blood, gore, violence, little bit of angst, slight swearing, slow burn (more to be added as the series progresses)

A/N: I’m finally able to post this today! I’ve been counting down until I could get this out😂 This is the first story that I have written and posted on my Tumblr account. I’m a bit nervous but very excited. I have not entirely proofread this story. Though, I would like to thank my beta reader, Lauren, for all the help and motivation she gave me. The GIF is not mine, credit to the original creator! And a big thank you to the @the-ss-horniest-book-club for hosting Mob!Bucky Appreciation Day and inspiring me to post this story.

Series Masterlist

The sharp clicking noise of my heels, followed by the dull thud of several boots, echo on the wooden stairs leading to the basement of my childhood home. I follow the along the long stretch of the twisting hallways until we reach a door that's muffling the slaps and punches behind it.

One of the men that had met me in the foyer, and had followed me down, knocks twice on the door as I tuck my hand into the back pocket of the curve-hugging black jeans I wore for the day. Moments later, the steel door swings open with a low whine from the give of the rusted hinges. The scent of blood and sweat is the first thing I notice followed by the image of the room.

Five men stand beyond the doorway. The man who opened the door stands near the edge of steel, gun hanging loosely at his side. Two bodyguards stand in adjacent corners of the room, making sure it’s possible to guard the others with in. Two others, the two most trusted of the household, including the right hand to the leader of the Manhattan Mafia Empire, stand imposingly in front of a man bound to a chair in the center. By the amount of fresh blood dripping onto the floor, this wasn't just some petty offense against the leader. Which draws my attention to the final man, leaning carelessly on a table filled with painful weapons. Nicholas J. Fury, the leader of this mafia clan, and my adopted father.

"You summoned me from my apartment, Boss?" I say with a smirk while jutting out my hip.

Phil Coulson, father's righthand, gives me a smirk in return while Maria Hill, his enforcer, just sends a half-hearted glare my way. However, father's face remains neutral.

"I did." He spares me a one-eyed glance. "Tell me what you see?"

I hum in thought to myself as I stalk my way around to see the captive's face. The top half of his once light-colored shirt is now hanging open from being cut by a knife or something similarly sharp. But it's cut open enough to view a tattoo resting on his right breast.

A red skull surrounded by a halo of octopus tentacles.

I grunt in distaste. "HYDRA scum."

The man lifts up his bloodied and beaten head to snarl at me. He twists his mouth before lobbing a spit ball at my feet. The glob of mixed spit and blood lands inches from my black, closed-toe heels.

I scoff at the action and brush my hand into the waistline of my jeans. When I feel the slim metal hilt, I maneuver the object into my palm. With the push of a small button the knife of the switchblade extends before I quickly drive it into his thigh. He screams out in pain as I keep the blade firmly in place. When his screams turn into tired wails of agony, I turn towards my father.

"Who is he?" I ask, motioning my head towards the man.

"We believe he's behind the hit on George Barnes. Or at least, is attempting to put the blame on us." He explains in his no-nonsense tone.

My eyes widen in shock, my lips parting slightly.

"George Barnes was shot at? Is this why I've been called in?" The prisoner painfully chuckles, quietly enough for only me to hear him.

"He's dead, sweet cheeks." He whispers with a smirk of victory.

I growl at him before twisting my knife and yanking it out while I stand.

"So, why am I here? I assume it's not to attend the funeral because you know I can't. It was just a risk just to even come here." My father gives me a pointed look.

"I need you to go with them to the warehouse with the prisoner while your siblings and I attend the funeral that's being held in a couple of hours. After the funeral, George's son and I will discuss some business about our alliance with the Brooklyn clan. I'll call you with the details." I nod at his instructions.

"You know the FBI is going to have me all over this case once they receive word of Barnes’ death, right?" He nods.

"I'm counting on it."

"I'll be waiting by the van." I tell him before wiping my knife on the man’s already dirty shirt and tucking the now closed switchblade into the band of my jeans.

I'm escorted back up the stairs towards the side of the house where the cars sit waiting in father's massive garage. Though the reason for the escort is now clear. My safety. My personal bodyguards, some of my father's most trusted men, meet back up with me to continue through the house. The sounds of nearing footsteps draw my attention to another hallway. My siblings, the twins, round the corner with their own group of bodyguards.

Wanda, the youngest, according to her brother, is dressed in all black. Appropriate for a funeral. Her brown hair is in casual waves while her makeup is mostly minimally visible. Her natural eyeshadow pairs well with the red lip tint she chose. Her normal red leather jacket is replaced by a similar black one that's draped over a black dress which is cinched at the waist. Her normal array of colorful and seemingly mismatched jewelry has been changed into a long silver chain necklace and a simple dark color bracelet. And to top off the outfit, she put on a pair of high heeled ankle boots. A surprised gasp leaves her lips when she spots me and soon, she's running to me as fast as she can in those heels. Her brother, Pietro, follows not too far behind her.

Pietro is dressed in a similar fashion. His silver dyed hair is brushed into gentle waves. A black leather jackets lays over a black dress shirt while matching pants and shoes. He also wears a small silver chain with a blue pendant on it. A gift from his twin.

Wanda pulls me into a tight hug with an excited squeal and I laugh, returning her hug with equal excitement.

"Y/N/N what are you doing here?!" She giggles as she pulls back. I laugh while Pietro pulls me into a similar hug.

"What? Can't an older sister stop by and see her two favorite siblings?" I gasp in mock offense once I'm released from the hug.

"We're your only siblings." Pietro reminds with a roll of his eyes.

"Besides, being undercover doesn't really allow time for social visits." Wanda points out. I only sigh. Sometimes she's too perceptive.

"It has to do with Brooklyn doesn't it?" Pietro asks while crossing his arms. As the only male heir of our father, Pietro is often included or informed of current affairs. Again, I sigh in defeat, though I shouldn’t be surprised he knows.

"Yeah, father called me in. This is a real shit show and I have a feeling this is just the beginning of it." I mutter distastefully.

They both nod in understanding, but Wanda looks equal parts sad and disappointed. But this is our life, we're used to it by now. Even though it's not always what we wish to have.

I gently smile before pulling them both into a big hug.

"Promise me you two will be careful out there?" Wanda tightens her grip on me.

"It's not us," She begins slowly. "Who you should be worried about." I chuckle dryly, knowing she's right, as I squeeze her back before pulling away from both of them.

"I suppose not. Still, I do. Now, I need to be going soon. I will see you both later." Pietro nods in acceptance, but Wanda let's her head droop slightly. I give her hand a tight squeeze before me and my bodyguards resume our way to where the cars are.

I climb back into the car that I came here in, and wait patiently for the driver and everyone to clamber in. The car is started but we remain idling sitting. As a way to occupy myself, I reach into the side door and feel for what I hid in there before I went in. When my fingers brush over the leather holster, I grab it and attach it, and the gun it holds, to a pocket on the inside of my leather jacket. When it's secure, I fold the jacket back over my chest, concealing the firearm in the process.

A muffled struggle echoes through the once silent garage.

"You want me to take care of that?" I ask the men who sit with me in the car, my fingers brushing over the spot in my jacket where my gun rests.

"Nah, I'll go check it out." One of my bodyguards, Mackenzie, or Mack as he's called, replies from the passenger seat.

"Of bloody course you'd be the first one of us lot to check it out." The driver, a Brit, by the name of Hunter scoffs.

Mack just shakes his head before he opens the door and leaves. When there's a few moments of silence after the car door is shut, that’s when Hunter speaks again.

"What are the odds of him bringing up something about needing that shotgun-axe again once he gets back in here?"

I chuckle and I see the shoulders of the person next to me move slightly.

"High." May, the bodyguard next to me and the one that I trust with mostly everything, responds with a slight edge of humor in her voice. Then she turns to me. "Boss, I was going to wait until we cleared the property,-"

"A good idea, May. I don't know much as of now, I can tell you that, but I'll tell the rest once we’re on the move."

She nods and the front passenger door opens at the same time.

"You'd think the men would know how to handle prisoners, like that one, by now." He grumbles as he settles into his seat. "I swear, one look at a shotgun-axe would scare the life out of those boys. Maybe they'd actually listen to simple instructions at that point."

We all the chuckle as the caravan of cars begins its trip out of the garage and to the warehouse. As we pull down the driveway, I reach into the pocket behind the passenger seat and pull out the object I stashed there and clip it inside my jacket, not too far from my gun. The gold of the badge reflects the light onto the side door while I begin to put on the mask that's essential for my survival out there in this scary world. The letters of F, B, and I revolve in my mind as I stare out the window at my former home. My life is a dangerous one and every aspect has a devastating risk with it.

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The warehouse is a dark place. Even if there is daylight present, streaming through the dirty frosted windows, a dark and dangerous feeling surrounds the place. It clings to it like the smell of a cigarette on clothes. For newcomers, like the prisoner that followed us in another van just a few behind our own, it's daunting. It's certain death. To me and my bodyguards, only our hairs stand on end in anticipation of what is to come.

I informed my guards of what I knew about the situation on the way here. A reverent silence filled the air at the mention of the late George Barnes' death. He treated his men well, was honest and loyal to his allies, and was a good man. Brooklyn and all of New York will miss him.

I stand in the empty warehouse floor, several paces in front of the unconscious prisoner, who's slumped against his restraints. Turns out the men are really in an impatient mood today. I cross my arms while I zone out observing him. Why did HYDRA do this? What did they gain? What's the bigger picture that I'm missing?

The faint sound of gravel crunching under tires drags me from my head and has me turning towards the opened garage-looking doors. Three black vans drive in and come to a stop not too far from the entrance. Father and Coulson are the first to step out from the center van. My siblings then file out from the one on the right. The rest of the men who were in the cars climb out and seem to form a barrier between the front entrance and the four people headed straight for me.

"I thought I would be receiving a phone call first." I give father a weary glance, noticing his seriousness about something.

"Change of plans." He answers swiftly, and rather seriously. I begin to grow uncomfortable.

The sound of more approaching vehicles has my eyes widening as I turn my curious and nervous expression on my father who gives me a reassuring nod.

"Fury." I hiss under my breath, not liking the idea of going into a situation blindly. He simply ignores me.

My focus is drawn back to the entrance as car doors closing harshly sound in my ears, though my gaze never wavers from my father's profile. A cadence of footsteps march across the unpaved driveway and into the warehouse, only pausing in front of the line of father's men. It's only when the footsteps draw nearer that I finally look at the party joining us.

My eyes widen, ever so slightly, at the sight of three imposing men nearing closer to where I stand. The man on my left is tall and broad-chested. His shiny blond hair reflects the dim light of the warehouse. His jawline is clean and sharp like a knife, adding to the dangerous air around him. The man in the center is just slightly shorter than the one on his left. A few strands of his long brown hair frame his face while, I assume, the rest is pulled back. However, the stubble on his face and those piercing blue eyes that I can see, even in the dim warehouse lighting, gives me an idea of who I’m dealing with. James “Bucky” Barnes. A man whose reputation for being a cold-blooded killer and a ladies’ man is very well known. However, any idea of seriousness is completely forgotten when I notice the man on my right, James’ left, who’s giving me a hard scowl. The familiar sight of the deep chocolate brown skin, hard eyes, and black hair puts me at ease. I could almost laugh at the situation.

“Samuel T. Wilson.” I chuckle when I see his eye twitch at the sound of his full name.

The trio stops not too far away from my father’s group and me. The sight of those two chocolate brown eyes, that look like they want to murder me, have me smirking.

“Special Agent Y/L/N of the FBI.” He growls, and I feel the tension in the room immediately spike. “I thought I saw the last of ya when I was let go.”

“You’re welcome for that, by the way.” Wilson scoffs and folds his arms across his chest. I also notice Barnes shifting in my periphery and sigh to myself as I think of how to reword things. “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have been let go so easily. There wasn’t any substantial evidence against you, but the other agents were going to keep you locked up to send a message. I let it slip to our boss, and he had a big problem with what they were doing. You were let free not too long after. So quit looking like you want to kill me, and maybe offer a ‘thank you’ instead.”

He goes to speak, but that’s when father decides to step in.

“Gentlemen, we came here to discuss a business transaction, not hash out the past. If you three would, follow me. Agent, you too. Son, keep the rest of our guests some company.” There are a series of soft grumbles and complaints, but ultimately, everyone listens.

When the three Brooklyn boys pass the now awake prisoner, his face turns a scary shade of white. And that’s considering the fact that he was already pale due to blood loss. I feel a shiver begin to creep down my spine, but I suppress it. I tell myself it’s because of the type of fear these men can instill, but deep down, I know that it was a low growl I heard somewhere over my shoulder.

Father takes us to one of the few offices in the warehouse and has me shut the door. Barnes sits in the chair across from Fury with both his men flanking either side of him. The only person at my father’s side is Coulson on the right, until I walk up to the vacant spot on my father’s left.

“I think proper introductions should be made before we begin talks.”

“I agree.” Barnes cuts in. “I didn’t realize this meeting would include a dirty Fed.”

I scoff but am interrupted before I can make any smart remark.

“This, gentlemen, is my eldest child. Y/N was the first I adopted and raised in this life. The only reason she is in the FBI is to help us deal with HYDRA.”

“HYDRA is everywhere.” I start explaining. “Like cockroaches in an old building. The only way to make sure every loose end has been tied up is to have all the information. There’s no better way to do it.”

“Hold up. I thought your last name was ‘Y/L/N’.” This time, Wilson interrupts.

“A cover, obviously. If the FBI learned of my ties to the Underworld or to my father, it would be worse than if they thought I was just corrupt.”

“The point is that Y/N will be passing on any information she learns about HYDRA and their plot.”

“I’ll also be keeping a very close eye on anything that may have to do with what happened to your father.” At the mention of him, I see James’ lips twitch slightly while the furrow of his brow deepens. “I am sorry for what happened to him. Your father was a great and very well-respected man.”

The only sign of acknowledgement I get from the new leader of the Brooklyn clan is a slight nod of his head, and I begin to grow uncomfortable in the silence that follows. Luckily, a phone ringing stops the awkwardness from becoming worse. However, it’s not just any phone. It’s my phone. I quickly snatch it from one of the pockets of my leather jacket and glance at the screen.

“It’s my boss.” I inform before answering. “This is Y/L/N. Yes, sir. I’ll be there as quickly as I can.” He hangs up. “I’m being called in. Send me the rest of the details later.” My father nods as he motions for me to leave. Before I do, I look over the three new faces and say in the most professional tone I can gather, “It was nice to properly meet you, gentlemen. I look forward to working with you.”

Without waiting for a reply from one of my father’s, hopefully, new allies to say anything, I hurry around the desk and out of the office. Once Hunter receives the word to get the car ready, I tuck my phone away again.

As I leave the warehouse, goosebumps prickle my skin. Not because it’s cold, or because I’m scared, but because of the pressure that’s suddenly fallen around my shoulders. This attack, this changes everything. HYDRA has always threatened the clans, carried out small or petty attacks, but they have never directly attacked the families. The death of George Barnes is only the catalyst.

A war is coming, and blood will be spilled. But how prepared am I for what I expect to come?

Part 2

#hbc bucky barnes appreciation days #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #marvel #mob!bucky #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #mob!bucky x reader #bucky barnes series #bucky x female reader #mobster bucky #bucky barnes au

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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709

Just another names survey, because there’s nothing like looking back at everyone you’ve ever met at 11:28 AM.

Do you know anyone with these names?

Sara: I know a Sarah from my college. She’s kind of a friend-ish? Like I’d say hi to her if we pass each other in the building but I wouldn’t get lunch with her or send her a meme. She also goes by Chloe, her second name. Gabby: Pretty common name. My girlfriend is a Gabie and I had another high school batchmate named Gaby; I also had an old friend from the wrestling fandom whose name is Gabbie. The last Gabbie also goes to UP but I’ve never met nor seen her in the four years I’ve studied there, which is still such a weird thing to me. Rochelle: My Language teacher (it’s basically a subject that taught us English grammar) in the 5th grade was a Rochelle and she was a massive bitch. She is the manifestation of small and cute but terrible, and she didn’t like me and made sure I knew it. I’m glad she aged terribly in the last few years. Alexis: Apparently my Uncle Alex’s full name is Alexis, but I didn’t know until today when I read the obituary for my grand aunt who had just passed. Aurora Summer: I have an orgmate/coursemate named Summer. She’s nice but I think she’s a little lazy and doesn’t make a good co-worker in projects.

Peyton Bianca: Also a common name, but it’s a pretty middle-class/white girl name too. I knew lots of Biancas from high school and all of them are studying in the more expensive university just beside ours. Jordan Eliana: I don’t know Elianas but close enough - we have a current applicant for our org named Liana. Liberty: Eh, noun names like this one aren’t too common at all where I live. Meadow Cheyenne Acacia: Nah. The only Acacia I know is the name of one of the many dorms inside campus. Laurice and Jo used to live in Acacia but their applications got denied this year. Erica: I used to ride the bus with an Ericka but it’s all very hazy - I was only in Grade 1 and I think she moved schools not long after, so I don’t have a lot of memories of her. I had a high school batchmate named Erycka but I never liked her either - just seemed too uppity and had a bit of an attitude for no reason. She used to be Gabie’s friend so when the two would hang out I would fuck off so that I didn’t have to deal with her loud ass. Chantell Shawna: Gabie has a coursemate(?) named Shauna. I don’t know her and I dunno if I’ve met her. I think I have, but I never talked to her. Suzy Maria: I can confidently tell you a good 70% of Filipino girls/women have Maria as their first names. No one uses it as their main name though; it’s usually just given to complement second names. Gretchen: Eh, I know a couple of popular personalities with this name but no one personal. Isabella: I have a second cousin named Isabella but I’ve never gotten to form a relationship with her because she was born and is being raised in Australia. Isabela is also the name of one of Gab’s sisters.

Skye: Someone I went to high school with has a kid nicknamed Sky... Skylar: ...because the kid’s whole name is Skyller. Cecily Paige: Nope but this did remind of the WWE wrestler Paige. Autumn Arielle: I went to grade school with an Aerielle. We lost touch for a bit when she had to drop out for a bit and ultimately moved schools, but we’ve since reconnected ever since she got into UP. She’s taking up journalism too. Brianna: Callo’s third name is Brianna. Her chaotic behavior on social media had pissed me off in the last few months so I cut ties with her. A little sad considering how incredibly close we were in high school, but I just have to remember how annoying she’s been and I feel ok again. Cassandra: I used to go to school with a Cassandra but she moved when we started the 1st grade, so I never actually got to talk or be close to her. Like Aerielle, it turns out she’s also in UP now and she’s in the football varsity too. I see her sometimes but given that we’ve never talked, the most we’ve given each other is a look of recognition of being in preschool together lmao. We also had a batchmate named Kassandra but she lives in Singapore now. Small, sweet, and just the nicest girl. Cassidy Sierra: Aya’s second name is Ciara, which is pretty close. Some of us say it similarly to Sierra, and others pronounce it as Sha-ra, so it varies. Cheri Shariah Savannah Greta: My sister had a batchmate named Greta and I remember her mostly because she’s the daughter of my high school’s old theatre manager/director/I never actually found out what his position was called, but basically he used to produce all of our school productions. Leandra Lauren: I went to grade school and high school with a Lauren. We were close as kids but she changed crowds in like the 6th or 7th grade and we lost touch from there. Austin Samantha: Lots of Samanthas were I’m from; it’s a fairly common middle-class name. I used to be best friends with a Sam; I had a high school batchmate named Sam; I knew someone a high school batch higher with the name; and I also currently go to college with a Sam. OH and I also have a cousin with this name hahahaha. She lives in New York but she visited the Philippines a couple of years ago and I was able to spend time with her then. Shayne: My sister’s kindergarten teacher was a Shane and all I remember is that she was really nice and motherly to my sister who did nothing in school but cry because she had bad separation anxiety. Seth: I have a cousin named Seth, but he lives in New York and I’ve never seen him. He’s the younger brother of my cousin Sam. Scott Ryan: I have a uncle with this name but I haven’t seen him since I was a little girl. He used to live with one of my aunts but I think he has since moved back to our home province. Maverick: One of our org’s alumni is a Maverick but he goes by Mawel. I’ve always thought he was intimidating so I’ve never approached nor talked to him. Dylan: My sister had a batchmated named Dylan which I think is a badass name for a girl. Anna: I had several former teachers named Anna. Two of them taught AP (social studies) and another taught us algebra. Katie: I will sometimes call Kate this, but I dunno anyone who legit goes by Katie. Jessica: Went to high school with one. Was always too boisterous and a little fake for me. She also loved to surround herself with boys as early as when we were 13 and while that’s never wrong I just never vibed with people like her. Lydia: I don’t know anyone with this name but this did remind me of the Breaking Bad character who was always a little bit annoying. Ellery Dakota Epiphany Galaxy Ariana: I think Yumi’s sister is an Ariana, but I’ll never know for sure because she always just calls her Ari. Gabriella: My girlfriend is a Gabriela. Rachel: My math teacher in Grade 1 was Ms. Rachel. I don’t have an opinion on her but I remember one time when our class was too noisy, she got way too pissed off and she spent the entire 45-minute period doing sign language to us to be petty. I never did like her after that. Amy: I go to college with an Aimee but I never get to see her on campus because her whole person screams Ateneo. I have no idea why she just didn’t enroll over there instead looooool, her boyfriend and all her friends are there and she’s always hanging out at their campus it’s so weird. My late grand-aunt Amet was also called Amy by some of her peers. Marissa: This is the second name of Kayla, someone I go to college with. Her schedule is weird though because she went on exchange in Canada two sems ago and she’s supposed to have been back a long time now, but I haven’t seen her at all. I have no idea if she’s still even in Canada or is back in the PH now and is just keeping her whereabouts on the down low. Taylor Rebecca: One of Rita’s older sister is named Rebecca but she goes by Becca. She graduated from my college last year, so I’m pretty familiar with her. We’re not close but I’ve encountered her a few times before and she’s reeeeally pretty and nice. The few times we’ve crashed at Rita’s place she had always greeted us out of familiarity from seeing us in our college building. Ashley: I had an STS class with an Ashley but I didn’t get to know her all that much. Allison: I used to have an instructor named Allison but I think she only taught so she could have extra cash because she’s also taking up her Master’s in the same college, so she wasn’t that good of a teacher. I do remember finding her pretty though. Oh and she also got into a really bad car accident in the middle of the sem and we didn’t have classes for like a month, so there’s that. Madison Abigail: My mom is named Abigail. Zachary: I have a cousin named Zachary but he mainly goes by James. Gabriel: Yep I have an orgmate with this name but we call him Gab. He’s...a bit of a character. Either you can tolerate his presence or you find him plain annoying. Used to play his music LOUD in Skywalk which annoyed the hell out of everybody. I’m still not sure what to feel about him so I just give him a nod when we see each other. Mitchell Joe: I have a friend named Jo but she’s a girl. I don’t think I know any guys named Joe. Corey Shawn: I know a friend of some of my friends is named Sean but we’ve never encountered each other. He’s into broadcasting and has done hosting gigs and I think he’s a junior jock in one of the local radio stations as well. Carly: Carley was my old internet best friend. We first found each other because we were huuuuge Stephanie McMahon fans on Tumblr a decade ago and we’d do edits and read fanfic and reblog photos of her, so a really close friendship blossomed from there. She had a rough life those days with a bit of an abusive mom (who has since passed) and I’d video chat her in the afternoon when I’d come home from school (by then she was preparing for school, since she’s from the US). After a while her schedule turned weird and she’d be offline for months at a time only to resurface for like two days then disappear again. She did this for like 3-4 years until I got tired and just stopped talking to her. She’s still my Facebook friend and she shares a lot of memes, but that’s all to it now. Carmen: I went to school with someone who had a very lengthy name and one of her names was Carmen, but she goes by Pam because she also has a Pamela in her name. She does streetdance and I was classmates with her once but we never really got to talk. Melissa: Eh, sure. Someone from high school. Lazy ass. Stephanie: The only IRL Stephanie I know is this girl who’s supposed to be enrolled this sem and is supposedly a classmate of mine in several classes, but never showed up from January through March. And now the lockdown hasn’t helped her case either. Shannon Selena: I have a cousin with this name but it’s spelled Selina. Also she goes by Bia because her other name is Bianca. Christine: Fairly common name. I know lots of Christines/Christina but I’m only close with one, who’s my orgmate and is the VP for Membership for the org, aka she’s the one in charge of recruiting new applicants for the two sems that she’s in charge of the committee. Paula: I went to grade school and high school with a Paula. She was SO painfully shy and quiet but friendly. She studies in Ateneo now but I wouldn’t know if she’s gotten extroverted in the last few years. Harmony Serenity Tessa: My prof in PR was Ma’am Tessa. One of the nicest, softest people ever who’s always down for anything. I think she’s in her 70s now but she’s definitely still kicking and doesn’t miss a single basketball and volleyball game during UAAP season. Claire: One of my very first guidance counselors was Ms. Claire. I remember her being motherly and she was also the counselor that intervened when I had a fight with one student in third grade that was big enough for both of us to land in the guidance office heh. Ruby Rhiannon Harper Riley Brandon Brayden Mystery Noelle: I vaguely remember going to school with a Noelle in kinder but she only stuck around the school for 1-2 years so I have no memories of her whatsoever. Destiny Darcy Dianne: Went to kinder, grade school, and high school with a Dianne. She was quiet for most of the years but she had a really blooming glow-up in high school, where she was part of the popular clique. Super smart and she’s now in business school in UP; also a terrific dancer. Felicity Grace: I have a grand-aunt named Grace. She’s very sweet and funny and is doting towards her grandkids and her grandnieces and nephews, but she and her sisters have notorious track records in the family for having a bit of an attitude and/or for making scenes, and she’s the pettiest of them all given that she’s the youngest. Despite that, all in all I have a soft spot for her. Hannah: One of my best friends in UP. We first met when she and Macy (my old high school friend) transferred to UPD from UPLB, but in the end Hannah and I ended up becoming closer friends because Macy has since struggled to adjust to the transfer and has pushed people away in the process, including me. ANYWAY I’m glad I was introduced to Hannah because she’s one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever met. She’s also insanely talented and a hell of a performer. I’ll miss her the most when I have to graduate. Kayla: That girl who went on an exchange program in Canada that I mentioned earlier mainly goes by Kayla. I remember her notably because she’s the first EVER person I talked to when I got officially enrolled in UP - we were seated together in the welcoming assembly for freshies back in 2016. It was nothing more than a random encounter though and we didn’t end up becoming close after that. Liam: My cousin Seth is also named Liam. Morgan Natasha: I went to school with a Natasha but we all called her Tashie. She had a bit of a larger build than the rest of us which made her look domineering, but she’s really nice and is a big softie if you get to know her. She posts workout videos from time to time and has since lost a lot of weight in college. Nathan Olivia: My future daughter loljk Bailey Emily Amanda: I have an orgmate named Amanda. She’s mostly shy and reserved and I haven’t really gotten the chance to know her since she’s quiet and always has to head home earlier than the rest of us. Addison Adrienne: An old classmate from high school has had her third kid that she named Adrienne. Molly Siona: I don’t know Sionas but I do know a Fiona, heh. Emerald Chelsea: Yeah Chelsea was one of my close friends in high school. We don’t talk these days but we’ll sometimes react on each other’s posts on Twitter or Facebook which is enough for me. We used to have parties and drinking sessions at her family’s gazebo behind her house, so even though we’ve mostly lost touch I’ll always have fond memories of her. Naomi Bethany: A very very very VERY old mutual on Tumblr had this name but we mostly called her Beth. She lives in the UK and I remember her being a CM Punk fan. Had unique eyebrows but was super pretty and she used to post webcam selfies all the time. Brittany Hope: Someone I went to kindergarten with had Hope as a middle name but she went by Maezelle. Super blurry memories of her as we were never close, but I remember her specifically for her teeth lmao - she had some cavities as a kid so she had a bunch of silver teeth. OK just checked Facebook and it turns out she lives in California now, as do most of my batchmates who migrated to the States as kids. Joy: I know several people who have Joy as a middle name but don’t go by it, like high school batchmates named AJ and CJ. Jade Aaron: Old friend from high school. Like Chelsea, he was a part of our friend group. He studies in UP too and we’ll say hi and hug when we see each other, but we aren’t personally close. Andrew: Coursemate, classmate, orgmate, groupmate in several projects, and now my thesis partner. At first I found him annoying and a bit too invasive and extroverted for my liking, but I gave him a chance and he’s turned out to be a really amazing, loyal, supportive friend. He’s an extremely talented writer, singer, performer, host, and radio jock. Wimpy drinker though haaaah. James: I have a cousin named James. He lives with his family in Vietnam and since his dad is from New Zealand, he’s picked up a bit of an accent as well. Jonathon Zachariah Malachi Victoria: I had a classmate in a polsci elective with this name, but I called her Jillian during that time cos it’s her first name. Judging from social media posts, she mainly goes by JV. Solomon Sorin Celia Heather: Went to high school with a Heather and is actually attending the same course as Jillian ^ in UP now. We were quite close in high school and she used to confide in me about relationship issues, back when she was seeing someone who had plans of transitioning. Heather’s parents were very strict against the idea and went to great lengths to forbid her from seeing him, so yeah that’s what she would rant to me late into the night about. We also bonded over One Direction and Joe Sugg for a time, and those days were a blast. She also got me to be in a Twitter DM thread with Caspar Lee for my 16th birthday which was a HELLUVA SURPRISE lmao. I’ve never forgotten those days with her and I’ll always remember her fondly even though we never talk anymore. Ivy: My prof in feature writing was named Ivy. She’s... a meh instructor at best. She loved telling HER stories and HER experiences and narrating HER interviews with famous people, politicians, celebrities, athletes, etc. but she left a few lessons behind which is really what we all enrolled for lmao, so I didn’t really learn anything from her class. Jasmine: Someone I went to high school with. She was into K-Pop, J-Pop, and anime back then and I think she still is. We were always good friends towards each other even though we were never close close. She’s taking up linguistics in UP now. Jasper Kaylee Anica: An instructor from the broadcast communication department in my college. Nothing much to say about her except she weirdly tags along with one of the other professors ALL THE TIME TO EVERYWHERE, including the washroom. I’m definitely not judging but yeah, it’s what I notice first when I think of her.

#survey #surveys

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fourteenacross · 6 years

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prompt response: fake dating

Well, someone sent me a fake dating ask and somewhere between the drafts folder and hitting “post,” the entire thing just poofed out of existence. THANKS, TUMBLR. Luckily, I had the response saved in a google doc. So, sorry to the original asker, your exact request is lost to the whims of tumblr, but the general jist of it was Ham/Laurens fake-dating.

The idea that I had for this was immediately bigger than just a ficlet, cause for fake dating to be done to my satisfaction, it needs time to properly DEVELOP. So this is more along the lines of a “I’ll tell you about a fic I’m not writing” sort of thing than an actual ficlet--my apologies.

Alex and John are part of the same friends group in New York, a mish-mash of folks who went to college together, their friends who moved to the city after graduation, and other people who have been assimilated into the group over time. John was an early member of the group, one of the core folks who went to the same college, and Alex came along later, and even though they have the same sense of humor and attitude and interests, they've never been the closest of friends. They tend to have standalone crazy adventures in between seeing each other at group gatherings and talking on Twitter, but they don't go out regularly as friends.

They do, however, go out regularly as fake boyfriends.

The nature of Alex's job sometimes has him going semi-undercover to report on...I don't even know, this is a fantasy world where this is a regular thing that happens, okay? So he usually wants to bring a date, so there's someone else around to help him out if he gets in over his head or cause a distraction so he can do some snooping. Plus, he's much more inconspicuous with a date--no one brings a rando undercover with them and a couple wandering around and chatting with people looks much less odd than a single dude nosing around.

Anyway. John is usually his go-to for these occasions because a) he's one of their only friends who encourages these plans, b) he grew up very wealthy, so he knows the ins and outs of navigating the social mores of events like the ones Alex is usually trying to get into, but c) his dad, who would be known in these circles, is white, and people mistake the surname "Laurens" for "Lawrence" when spoken out loud often enough that he doesn't send up any red flags with folks who might know his family. And while John's not single, he's in a long distance relationship, so it's unlikely that someone will see him with someone else around town and think that something's up.

So this starts as just another one of those events--Alex is working on some political story and scores tickets to a big charity gala that's going to draw a lot of the folks he's investigating. He calls up John, who agrees to come with him, and they go to the party, just like any other evening. They're eating canapés and making small talk and then, someone to the right of them says, "John?!"

And John turns around and it's his fucking father.

And it's not UNREASONABLE that his father, a moderately high ranking member of the House of Representatives, would be present, but his dad usually only goes to things in Washington or South Carolina, and when he is in New York, he almost always gives John a call so they can have lunch or something.

So John's staring dumbfounded and Alex looks like a deer in headlights as the person they're chatting with says, "Oh, Laurens! Are you related?"

And Henry says, low-key offended-like, "Of course we're related, he's my son."

And the person gets all awkward about it--because they never in a million years would have pegged this Latino kid as Henry Laurens' son, despite knowing the back of their mind that he had married a Puerto Rican woman who passed away several years prior--and manages to stammer, "Well, I was just having a lovely conversation with him and his young man, Alexander, was it?"

And Henry raises an eyebrow and says, "Your 'young man'?"

And John says, "Uh...."

And Henry says, "Well, I must say, it's something of a relief. I tried not to comment on it--" A lie, he totally commented on it all the time. "--because I know you cared for him, but I never liked that Francis boy and your siblings and I all knew that he'd never actually emigrate to be with you."

Which is an uncomfortable moment because, obviously, John is still with Francis, though he's been starting to suspect the same thing after five years of long distance and vague promises that Francis is looking into moving, really, and also...well, he's not actually dating Alex.

But he can't give up the game, so he forces a smile and says, "Yeah, Francis and I ended things and, uh, this thing with Alex is pretty new."

Alex is doing complicated math in his head and manages to read the situation well enough to put on his best self-deprecating smile and offer his hand to Henry. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir, if a little earlier than expected."

They make semi-awkward small talk for a few minutes while John is internally screaming, until Henry sees someone waving him down and excuses himself. But before he leaves, he says, "I imagine we'll talk more at Martha's wedding."

And John says, "Uh."

But Alex says, "I imagine we will. I look forward to it, Congressman Laurens."

And then he's gone and John quickly excuses them from the other poor soul stuck in conversation with them to drag Alex to the bar.

"That could have gone worse," Alex says.

"Alex, I cannot lie to my father," John says gravely as the bartender pours him a whiskey. "And I don't mean because of my moral character or something, I mean because he always finds out. He has a sixth sense for it. I'm surprised he hasn't already called me out on it. Fuck."

"Well, it's not like, long-term lying," Alex says. "He'll be back in South Carolina soon and then it'll just be the weekend of your sister's wedding. Which is, what, like, two months away?"

"I'm going for a long weekend!" John says. "Thursday to Sunday!"

"It'll be fine," Alex insists. "We'll get through the weekend and then a couple weeks later you can tell him we've broken up and then we can move on with our lives. It's not like we're not good at acting coupley." He takes John's already half-finished glass from him and drinks from it, as if to illustrate his point. John snatches it back.

"This is going to explode in our faces," John warns him. "I should just go alone and say we broke up."

"You wanted to bring one of us anyway because you got a plus one and Francis wouldn't come and you didn't want to go alone," Alex reminds him. "You were just bitching about it in the group chat. Mattie and I both volunteered. I'll go, it'll be fine."

John is pretty sure it won't be fine, but he also knows that this isn't the time to have this argument. Alex is here for work reasons and this is all just a distraction, so he muscles up and downs the rest of his drink and sighs and says, "We can talk about it later. Let's get back to your thing."

They don't exactly get back to it later. Alex heads home after the party to write and they don't get a chance to see each other again until Mattie's birthday brunch the next weekend, when Alex gleefully tells the story to all their friends. Mattie, who knows John's family, finds the whole thing fucking hilarious and everyone else is pretty amused as well. John brings up that they need to figure out what to do about the whole mess, and their friends high-key pressure them into going to the wedding and pretending to be a couple. Some of them because they think it's hilarious, but Mattie and Ned and a couple others are of the mind that they would make a really good couple and Francis is fucking toxic and maybe this will give them a little push towards each other.

At this point, there are seven weeks left until the wedding, which seems like forever, but they figure the best way to play this game is to make it as close to the truth as possible, so they start hanging out together a little more than usual. John keeps going to Alex's work shit with him, but they also hang out on the weekends and go to shows together and do other dumb coupley things. Alex takes John to a lecture that he sleeps through and John takes Alex on a bike ride outside of the city that nearly kills him. They text a lot more too, making up elaborate stories for how they got together. They've already decided to essentially tell the truth once removed--that they were friends and John kept being Alex's plus-one to work things and they realized they liked each other--but making up crazy stories has become a dumb game they play with each other, each playing off an element of the previous story to make a new one. So Alex will send John a message that says, "I used to be a lion tamer on the weekends and one of the lions got out and cornered you and I had to sweet talk it away from you, forever earning your love" and John will crack up and send back, "You fell into the lion enclosure at the zoo over a stupid dare and I helped fish you out right before the lions made a meal of you."

John's dad calls him a couple times during these seven weeks and it's surprisingly easy to lie to him, possibly because most of it isn't lies. He really did go to a concert this week and Alex really is taking him out to dinner tomorrow night and he really is looking forward to it. A lot, actually.

Which is something that John has been thinking about pretty seriously throughout this. He knows most of their friends and all of his family think Francis is a jerk. They met during John's study abroad during the fall semester of his senior year of college and started dating while he was over there. And then Francis came over and did a semester just outside of the city about a year later, after John had already graduated, meeting the proto-version of the gang for the first time. They were largely unimpressed, and get more and more unimpressed as time goes on and Francis visits less and less and his excuses for not coming back get weaker and weaker. And, honestly? Part of him already knows and has already accepted that this isn't going to work out. Despite all of Francis' promises in the first year and a half they were together, he's never going to move to New York. He's never going to prioritize John. And that's something that John has to think about.

Alex, meanwhile, has always had kind of a thing for John. A friend-crush. He never thought about it hard or seriously--he wasn't pining--because John was already in a relationship when they met, so the idea to think about John as a potential partner literally never occurred to him. It's hard not to think about it now, though. They're doing all this dumb couple stuff together and the dispassionate, logical part of his mind is pointing out that they are extremely compatible as a couple. Schedule-wise, temperament-wise, personality-wise, they work on a lot of levels. John is also hot and funny and just...it feels good. It feels good to be around him.

Which is kind of a bummer. Because, odds are, it'll stop after the wedding. They'll still be friends, sure, but Alex will miss all this extra-curricular hanging out they've been doing. Even the stupid shit like hiking and bike rides--he has to admit that the middle part, the part between hiking to a spot and hiking back, was kind of nice. Alex doesn't get out of the city much, and hanging out on the top of a mountain, sprawled in the sun and talking to John about nothing much in particular, had been the first time in a long time that his brain felt really...quiet.

But they'll still be friends. And maybe they can still have the occasional, intentional one-on-one friend hangout, instead of just the shenanigans that they accidentally get up to when they're the only two people interested in one local event or another.

He resolves to take advantage of this last week and have as much fun as possible, a resolution that John is also making. One of two, actually. The other one is that John is gonna sit down next weekend, after the craziness of the wedding is behind them, and figure out what to do about Francis--what he wants to do about Francis, how to approach Francis about his desires, and what to do if (when) Francis' own desires are in direct conflict with them. He's not looking forward to it, thus the decision to enjoy himself and not think about it for a few days.

They get to South Carolina and John introduces Alex to everyone. He and Martha immediately get on like a house on fire, which is potentially going to be an issue in the future, but John tries to ignore it. They spend a couple days doing all sorts of pre-wedding stuff, Laurens-Ramsay family bonding activities that Martha and David have come up with. John and Alex score two definitive victories for the Laurens Family by dominating first at pub trivia and then at paintball. John is genuinely enjoying himself, catching up with his siblings and chatting with David's family. He and Alex have completely abandoned the concept of personal space, which he figures makes them look pretty coupley until Martha pulls him aside as he heads to change for the rehearsal dinner.

"I know I told you that David's family is old school Southern," she says, "but I didn't mean--they're not like...homophobic. David has a couple gay cousins. It's cool."

"I...didn't think they were?" John says, which is not strictly true--some of the Ramsays have certainly made some under-their-breath comments, but some of John's extended family does the same thing. He's used to it.

"I just mean, you and Alex don't have to be chaste around them or anything."

John blinks at her. "We...what?"

Martha is blushing a little. "You can kiss him! Is what I mean! You don't have to, like...hide it or anything."

Kissing Alex hadn't occurred to him.

"Oh," John says. "Uh. Good to know."

He's still thinking about the conversation as he wanders upstairs. It must be clear on his face, because the first thing Alex does when he walks into their room is ask what's wrong.

"Nothing," John says. "Just...Martha pulled me aside to say none of the relatives will make a big fuss, so it's okay for us to kiss."

"Is it?" Alex asks seriously. He's half in his dress shirt, a curious expression on his face. "I just mean, I don't want to get you into trouble with Francis."

John considers it for a moment as he pulls off his t-shirt and looks through his garment bag for a shirt.

"I think it's fine," he concludes. "I mean, nothing that happens in front of my family at a wedding reception is gonna be too intense and I kiss Mattie all the time and Francis doesn't care." Mattie is, of course, both a girl and a lesbian, but in theory that shouldn't matter.

"Good to know," Alex says, and moves into the bathroom to do his hair.

And the rehearsal dinner is fine and the morning of the ceremony is fine. It becomes second nature to lead Alex around with a hand on the small of his back or let himself be led with a hand on his elbow. They rib each other affectionately and socialize with family and even kiss a few times. They're chaste kisses, sweet and quick, the kind of comfortable kisses you give someone you've known forever. They're good kisses, too, quick as they are, and even though he's not supposed to think about it until next weekend, he can't help compare them to Francis, who never kisses him casually because he's never casually around.

John cries all through the ceremony and Alex only makes fun of him a little. And at the reception, they dance together and with everyone else. When Martha is dancing with John, she says, "You know, I really like Alex. I tried to be chill about Francis, but he always seemed like kind of a jerk, and I hated that he kept stringing you along with promises of moving to New York. Plus, I only saw you guys together that one time, but it seemed so stilted. You and Alex are already so comfortable, it just makes me happy to see it."

"Thanks," John says. "I like him a lot."

He's not surprised at all, at this point, to realize he's telling the truth.

Towards the end of the reception, the two of them end up out on a balcony, the pounding music of the dance floor making their ears ring the moment it's muffled behind the french doors. Alex collapses onto a bench and John sits next to him.

"Man, your family knows how to party," Alex says. "I've never been to a wedding like this before."

"Yeah, it's pretty typical of heterosexual weddings where money is involved," John says. "I'd almost forgotten that not everyone has hipster DIY queer weddings in botanical gardens and apple orchards."

"Well, it's a good thing we're not really dating because I don't know if I could survive planning a wedding like this," Alex says.

John tilts his head up, staring up at the sky. There are so many more stars here than in New York. "Is it, though?"

"Is what?" Alex asks.

"Is it good we're not dating?" He looks away from the sky and over at Alex. "Sorry, I just keep thinking about how much I like you and it sucks that I'm dating someone else."

Alex is quiet for a moment. "It does suck that you're dating someone else," he agrees. "I like you too."

"I don't want to be the type of guy who dumps someone because he's met someone else," John says. "But our relationship is already pretty garbage. But it's also possible I'm just looking for excuses to justify it to myself, you know?"

"In my experience," Alex says, "if you're actively looking for reasons to justify breaking up with someone, you probably want to break up with them either way. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who's only with them because they can't come up with a good reason not to be."

"I'm not really like that, I swear," John says, flushing with guilt.

"No, I know," Alex says. He looks over at John and grins. "And I can't pretend I'm being objective when I offer you that advice, so."

And John thinks about meeting Francis and those first tentative days together, feeling each other out. He thinks about how the giddy rush of a new relationship faded almost instantly into the nagging anxiety that John would be leaving the country soon. He's never felt comfortable with Francis the way he already feels comfortable with Alex. He never had this easy intimacy. And it's no one's fault--maybe if he stayed in the UK or Francis made good on his promises to come to New York, things would have been different, but it's hard to build that comfort over text and skype, and these days they barely manage that.

He makes a decision a week earlier than he intended, and he kisses Alex.

It's not a chaste kiss. It's not lewd, but there's intent. There's passion and affection, it's a kiss that's a kiss, not a greeting or farewell or absent moment of acknowledgement. John kisses Alex the way he would have if this had been a normal date, if they had been out together and had this much fun and mutually expressed an intent to do it again. He kisses Alex like he wants it to be the start of something more.

And Alex kisses back.

They pull back, both of them grinning, though Alex is a bit dazed. John pulls out his phone and checks the time and swears under his breath.

"What's wrong?" Alex asks.

"It's the middle of the night in London, I can't call Francis and break up with him."

"Just to be clear," Alex says. "That means we're gonna date, right?"

"Yes, genius, that means we're gonna date," John says, grinning, and Alex just leans forward and kisses him again.

John should probably feel worse about the kissing, but so far it's just kissing and it's hard to feel connected to Francis and the tattered remains of their relationship when Alex is here with him, having spent weeks showing more interest in John's life than Francis has since they were twenty-three.

And John doesn't intend for them to just full-on make out at his sister's wedding, but the next thing he knows, his little brother Harry is saying, "John, are you--oh shit!"

John pulls away from Alex, guilty for half a dozen reasons, only some of which make sense.

"Um," he says.

"Sorry," Harry says. "I just--um. Martha wants a cousins picture with Nana before Aunt C takes her home?"

"Right," John says. "Um--"

"I'll be here when you're done," Alex tells him, and then lifts his hand off of John's upper thigh--and when had that happened--and John stumbles back into the party.

They take the cousins picture and then they take a dozen more family pictures, even though they did posed paragraphs before and after the ceremony. And when John goes to find Alex, he's not out on the balcony, but waiting at the table with a drink.

"I know we should talk more," he half-shouts over the music, "but I figure we came here to enjoy the party, so we might as well do that while we can."

Which seems like a good plan, so they toast and dance some more and flood the wedding hashtag with stupid pictures and dance the last dance and then stumble onto the hotel shuttle, arm and arm. They're tipsy when they get back to their room and half-undress before collapsing onto the bed, lying side-by-side and staring at each other.

"We should talk," John says.

"Yeah," Alex says. "Totally."

"We can't have sex until I break up with Francis," John says.

"I'm 100% with you," Alex says.

"I don't cheat," John says.

"I wouldn't never think that," Alex says.

"But is it really cheating if the only reason we haven't broken up yet is that he's asleep?"

"I mean, I'm staying neutral in this decision, but it's just a few hours."

They're both quiet for a moment.

"Maybe we can just make out for a while?" John suggests. "I'm pretty tired anyway. And I haven't had sex with another person in two years, so that feels like a lot to process tonight anyway."

"I am definitely on board with this plan," Alex says.

So they do that. And it gets maybe a little heavier than either of them intend, but their hands stay above the waist, John's arbitrary definition of what's acceptable and what isn't, and they eventually fall asleep.

John gets up super early the next morning, first because he's in a weird place and he has to pee, but once he's up and takes his phone and goes out into the hallway and calls Francis. And they have a very short, awkward conversation where Francis first thinks that John is breaking up with him because he saw on social media he's been hanging out a lot with some guy, but John clarifies that he met someone else. Francis tries to be indignant about this for approximately five seconds before John reminds him that he literally just basically admitted to doing the same thing, and Francis concedes.

When John goes back into the hotel room, Alex is half awake and watching him from the very inviting looking bed. John holds his phone up for Alex to see.

"I broke up with Francis," he says.

"Then take off your pants," Alex says, and John bursts out laughing and pounces on him.

And John thinks a lot about growing up and relationships and figuring out who you are. He can't help but keep comparing his relationship to Francis to this new thing with Alexander--it's the only other relationship of his adult life--but it's not the same thing, not at all. He's not sure if the physical distance caused the emotional distance or just kept them mired in a false sense of intimacy, but it was never like this. It was never this easy and fun, because when it started John was twenty-three and a nervous mess trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. Now that he's older and settled and confident, it's easier to put his guard down around Alex. It's easy to let himself have this, fun and simple and freeing.

Of course, he doesn't really think about all of that until later, because first they have sex. Twice. And when they go down for brunch later that morning, he's positive they look entirely fucked out and overly pleased with themselves, but they're hardly the only couple with that glow, so the comments are raised eyebrows are minimal.

They spend their last couple days in South Carolina alternately hanging out with John's family and stealing time away because they can't keep their hands off of each other. Which is also a problem the next day on the flight back to New York and then on the cab ride to John's apartment. It's less of a problem once they're inside John's apartment, for the most part--the gentleman forced to ride the elevator with them, for example, might not agree.

Later in the afternoon, when they've graduated to the cuddling and take-out portion of the day, talking endlessly about themselves and their lives and their hopes for the future, John gets a text from his dad. It says, It was pleasant to meet Alexander. He has potential. I hope we'll be seeing more of him.

("Wow," John says, "I think you might already be my dad's favorite of the various siblings' partners. You might even give me enough clout to knock me up from last place on the list of his favorite kids, even."

"I'm irresistible," Alex says, and John doesn't give him the pleasure of admitting that yes, he is.)

You definitely will, he types back to his dad, filled with a breathless sort of joy that it's no longer a lie.

***

Will this ever be a full story? Who knows. I contain multitudes.

#hamilton #lams #the redacted boys #john laurens #alexander hamilton #fic by me #sort of #did i have a dedicated tag to all this not fic?#i don't remember

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kihyunshighnote · 6 years

Text

85 Truth Tag

amazing and lovely @daisykookz tagged me

rule: answer these 85 questions

LAST

1. Drink- H2O

2. Call- Brother

3. Text- Mom

4. Song You Listened to- If You Do by Got7

5. Last Time You cried- after the got7 concert. the whole ordeal after the show made me so angry and upset. i cried for a good 10 minutes

HAVE YOU EVER

6. Dated someone twice? I dont count what happened when i was 11. i’ll just say that much. but seriously never dated 1 person

7. kissed someone & regret it- never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on- nope

9. Lost Someone special- yep

10. been depressed- I go back and forth on this alot. Technically and medically speaking No but i’ll spare you the details on this topic

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up- Nope. I’m a very boaring person

FAVORITE COLORS

12. Black

13. White

14. Gray

15. Lavender

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

16. Made new friends? Yes, 1 irl and thankfully many online friends who i love very dearly

17. Fallen out of love- I dont think I’ve actually ever been in love

18. laugh until you cried- probably

19. found out someone was talking about you- i dont think so. not to my knowledge

20. met someone who changed you- yeah

21. found out who your friends were- yeah probably

22. kiss someone on your fb list- never kissed anyone and i check fb not frequently

GENERAL

23. How many people on fb do you know irl- my fb is mainly just consistant of my family so pretty much all of them

24. Have any pets? My cat and a rabbit

25. Do you want to change your middle name? if i did i dont know what i’d replace it with so i guess im stuck with it

26. What did you do for your last Birthday? Probably ate dinner out with my family and that was about it

27. What time did you wake up this morning? I had to work but i overslept til 9:12 this morning

28. What exactly were you doing at midnight yesterday? I was watching EXO interviews.

29. What is something you can’t wait for? SEEING MONSTA X TOMORROW AND MY COUSIN TOO IN DALLAS

30. What are you listening to know- GOOD BOY BY GDRAGON & TAEYANG

31. Have you talked to a stranger named tom- Yeah.

32. Something that gets on your nerves- The kids I watch sometimes can be bratty and to invasive on me and I can’t stan them anymore

33. Most visited website- Tumblr/Twitter

34. Hair Color- Dark Brown

35. Long or short hair- I have LONG HAIR. goes to my waist

36. Do You have a crush on someone- Nope. Really since i was 15 i hadn’t had a crush on anyone

37. What do you like about yourself? Really not much. My hair I guess

38. Want any piercings? 50/50 on this. I have not had my ears pierced since i was 6 and i made my mom use a thumbtack to do it because i dont like earrings but when i see a photo of a singer i immediately look at their ears and think those look cool. so not really but im indecisive

39. Blood type- O-

40. Nicknames- Katt

41. Relationship status- Single forever, but JB is currently my husband in my imaginary world

42. Zodiac- Aries

43. Pronouns- I literally do not care

44. Favorite tv show? I don’t watch tv that much but I guess a cartoon i liked watching but nobody has heard of is Chowder

45. Tattoos? I don’t have any but i know i want this..

46. Righty or Lefty- Righty

47. Ever had surgery? only to get wisdom teeth out

48. Piercings? none

49. Sports? break it down from age

4-8 soccer 9-10 fast and slow-pitch softball 10-11 Tennis 11-13/14 Volleyball

50. Vacation- Last 1 was Houston and tomorrow ill be in dallas for a few days

51. Shoes- I have the same pair of black converse since i was a jr in high school and i still wear them to this day

MORE GENERAL

52. Eating- I took some kids to a pizza place for lunch

53. Drinking- Aqua

54. I’m about to watch- a kpop music video from a group I like 10/10 most likely to happen

55. Waiting For- me to decide when i should eat food or not tonight

56. Want- more $$$ and see my online friends someday irl

57. Get married- maybe ,but i loose hope in that really

58. Career- something in politics but i kinda am just eh right now

WHICH IS BETTER

59. Hugs or kisses- both are great

60. lips or eyes- eyes

61. shorter or taller- taller

62. older or younger- same age preferably but if not older

63. nice arms or stomach- stomach

64. hookup or relationship- RELATIONSHIP

65. Troublemaker or hesitant- hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER

66. kiss a stranger- No

67. Had hard liquor- yep

68. lost glasses- I hadn’t worn glasses since middle school and even then the eye doctor said i didnt really need them so not really

69. Turned someone down- no. never been asked before

70. Sex on the 1st date?- Never happened but im a believer in waiting a bit before doing something like that

71. Broke Someones heart- probably

72. had heart broken- yeah but when i look back on it i’m glad

73. been arrested? Nah

74. Cried when someone died- yeah

75. Fallen for a friend- no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. Youself- HELL NO

77. Miracles- Kinda

78. Love at 1st sight- No, I believe its just infatuation with someone

79. Santa- I dont know why i stopped i just remember 1 day my dad asked if we still believe and i just said no for some reason

80. Kiss on a 1st date- maybe. depends on how well i feel comfortable with the person

81. angels- yes. I believe i have a few guardian angels watching over me

OTHERS

82. Best friend name- I have 2. Jessi and Lauren

83. eye color- brown

84. favorite movie- Star Wars. specifically ep 4,6,7,and 2

85. favorite actor/actress- i dont really have one. Harrison Ford or Carrie Fisher i guess

im not gonna tag anyone in this long quiz about yourself unless you wanna kill a whole bunch of time by doing this tag feel free to do so

2 notes · View notes

cosaimai · 7 years

Note

Actually, 1-170, game 😝

why do you subject me to this torture lmao

but imma do it regardless (leaving out all the ones i’ve already answered ofc)

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

Goth of course

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

hmm i didnt play many video games when i was super young so prob bioshock infinite

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

my best friend (@lauren-pc), my fictional crushes… (lets not judge me alright, i dont have a life), does the ocean count?

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

melancholic

9: Are you ticklish?

yes

10: Are you allergic to anything?

lavender

11: What’s your sexuality?

asexual (homoromantic)

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

tea

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

hmm prob dog bc even tho cats are adorable their fur tends to bother me since it sheds a lot more easily (which is why i love hairless cats)

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

I havent checked in a while since I don’t own a scale, but I think around 91-95lbs

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

yes

21: Are you religious?

nope lol

22: Pet peeves?

smacking, chewing w your mouth open, not using a coaster

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

nocturnal !!

24: Favorite constellation?

hmmm prob Ursa Major

25: Favorite star?

Deneb or maybe Beta Draconis

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

I am scared of all dolls, so, no

27: Any phobias or fears?

spiders & most bugs, also more specifically, dying in a sinking car

28: Do you think global warming is real?

31: Do you get scared easily?

nope

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

six i think

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

11/10 :)

34: What is a color that calms you?

ocean blue ♥

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

in Washington state, preferably close to the coast

36: Where were you born?

texas

38: Introvert or extrovert?

extreme introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

ehh, they’re interesting and i do think you can apply them to people, so maybe ig

40: Hugs or kisses?

ughh i guess hugs

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

my best friend

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

again, my best friend

43: Any piercings you want?

spider bites (which i’m getting soon !!), daith, conch, maybe an industrial, maybe a nostril piercing

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

if you can’t tell, yes lol

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?

I don’t, the closest I’ve come is vaping bc my friend’s step brother & his friend wanted me to try his vape

48: A sound you really love?

heavy rain/thunderstorms

49: Can you do a backflip?

um lmao no

50: Can you do the splits?

I think I still have my right splits, not my left or middle tho

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

i guess I’d have to say Jake Gyllenhaal tho

53: How are you feeling right now?

i am tired

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

probably red or black, idk

55: When did you feel happiest?

probably last year, almost anytime during history class

56: Something that calms you down?

ASMR videos

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

none that are prof-dxed

58: What does your URL mean?

oh i’ve told this tale many times on this blog, but to tell it once again: I used to go by the name Mai, and I used to be obsessed with space so cosmic+mai=mai and for some reason i made it cosaimai so basically cosmic mai mai

59: What three words describe you the most?

quiet, jaded, eccentric

60: Do you believe in evolution?

yeah, i guess so

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

if the content is really my thing or the person running it is transphobic/homophobic/etc.

64: Favorite animal(s):

BATS ♥♥♥

66: Favorite emoticon:

67: Favorite meme:

i can’t choose just one, i mean, pretty much any meme @lauren-pc sends me is pretty high quality

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

INTP

69: What is your star sign?

Aries

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

I have two dogs and no

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

uhhh probably my new killstar bittersweet babydoll dress

72: Post a selfie or two?

i posted two yesterday sooooo….

73: Do you have platform shoes?

i do !!

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

i can cross both my eyes, as well as cross just one at a time

75: Can you do a front flip?

nope, i wish

76: Do you like birds?

ehh, they’re alright

77: Do you like to swim?

not really

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

i do not like either, but i guess swimming

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

Donald Trump

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

Can I say Starfleet?? bc i’m gonna say Starfleet

81: Piercings you have?

none :’(

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

sleeping

83: Favorite person to talk to:

@lauren-pc

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

that it was extremely boring, and here i am almost 5 years later

85: How many followers do you have?

364

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

hell no

87: Do your socks always match?

yes, i actually specifically wear all black socks for this reason

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

89: What are your birthstones?

diamond is the only one i know

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

a bat :)

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

hmmm…. this is difficult but probably like Cranesbill Geranium or smth

92: A store you hate?

Ross

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

none, coffee makes me sick :/

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

read minds

95: Do you like to wear camo?

96: Winter or summer?

winter i guess

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

I have no clue, but probably less than 30 secs

98: Least favorite person?

well out of the people i know personally, probably my friends boyfriend

99: Someone you look up to:

oh gosh, i have no clue

100: A store you love?

if online stores count, definitely Killstar

101: Favorite type of shoes

tbh flipflops bc I’m lazy

102: Where do you live?

Texas

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

no, i wish i had the will to be a vegetarian

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

aura quartz

105: Do you drink milk?

Yes, milk is great tho my mild lactose intolerance disagrees with this fact

106: Do you like bugs?

107: Do you like spiders?

especially no

108: Something you get paranoid about?

usually bugs crawling on me while i sleep, or someone breaking into my house while i sleep

109: Can you draw:

i can, debatable whether it’s good or not tho

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

no one tends to ask me very nosy questions

111: A question you hate being asked?

i’m open to pretty much any questions, but i guess i hate boring ones, none in specific come to mind

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

I might have been, I didn’t know whether it was a spider bite for sure or not

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

yes

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

cloudy

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

no one actually, I’m in a very touch averse mood

116: Favorite cloud type:

cirroctratus

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

dusty pink or a darker shade of blue

118: Do you have freckles?

nah

119: Favorite thing about a person:

i don’t quite get what exactly this is asking but i guess appearance-wise, hands

120: Fruits or vegetables?

fruits

121: Something you want to do right now:

go to a lake or beach

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

ocean

123: Sweet or sour foods?

sweet

124: Bright or dim lights?

dim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

not really, unless you count aliens

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

all the drama

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

it’s easy to find content i enjoy

128: What do you think about the least?

i guess politics ?? i have no clue

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

“NOW AS DEAD OUTSIDE AS SHE WAS INSIDE”

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

No one comes to mind, except perhaps Donald Trump

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

my weirdness, it’s interesting but usually deters people

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

no, i hate my teeth

133: Computer or TV?

TV I suppose

134: Do you like roller coasters?

nope

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

not usually

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

attached

137: Do you believe in karma?

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

4/10

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

Ry, Cosai-chan, Cosai, Mai, Rave (idk how many of those count but there ya go)

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

nope

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

uhhh…. i’ve been called a bad influence so i guess i am

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

receiving

144: What makes you angry

people who don’t listen/don’t think i know what i’m talking about

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

just english, though i could probably manage a conversation with my poor knowledge of french

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

girls & nb people

147: Are you androgynous?

i wish

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

eyes

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

resilience

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

The 80s for sure

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

kinda

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

sometimes

156: What embarrasses you?

almost everything i do when I’m around people bc for some reason i can’t help but think i mess up everything i do

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

being around people

159: How many people are you following?

709

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

11, 604 on this one; 288 on my gore blog; 848 on my bpd blog

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

29; 1; 0

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

7, 244

163: Last time you cried and why:

i don’t remember

164: Do you have long or short hair?

it’s kinda in between, i guess you could say long

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

a few inches above my waist

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

i dislike it because it’s boring and kinda pointless for the most part, but to each their own

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

occasionally

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

not really

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

nope

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

yes

#asks

4 notes · View notes

lpdwillwrite4coffee · 7 years

Text

Awww yiiissssss, get to know me memes are the best!

I was tagged by @kteague cuz my girl knows what’s up (I love this shit, I can’t help it).

I’m gonna go with @asnowballschance @priya212 @cemeterydreamer @asocialfauxpas @purelyfueledbycaffeine But no pressure! Under the cut for obvious reasons.

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 whoever you’d like!!

The Last …

1. drink: coffee

2. phone call: real estate agent (I’m such an adult haha)

3. text message: friend telling me she has poison ivy

4. song you listened to: Bellbottoms by the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. I got back from seeing Baby Driver and immediately needed the soundtrack in my life.

5. time you cried: A couple days ago. I was super overwhelmed with life ~stuff and just needed to cry it out.

Have you ever …

6. dated someone twice: No but I’ve thought about it.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: YES. Ugh.... Several. (feel free to ask for details on those train wrecks haha)

8. been cheated on: Not that I’m aware of...

9. lost someone special: Oh yes.

10. been depressed: Yes, been on medication for it and then off meds. I was incorrectly diagnosed with clinical depression when it was situational and because of my own past traumas and emotional abuse.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes, I just can’t remember how many times... 2? 3? I think?

Favorite Colors…

12. Cobalt blue

13. Rich, royal purple

14. Emerald green

In The Last Year Have You…

15. made new friends: Yes!! IRL and online (y’all know who you are, and if you don’t I’ll come tell you)

16. fallen out of love: It’s been a couple years since I’ve *been* in love.

17. laughed until you cried: So many times.

18. found out someone was talking about you: In a negative way, yep, and it sucked. I thought we were friends... In a positive way? I think so! Well, found out people were happy about what I was doing and my work. So that’s been super lovely!!

19. met someone who changed you: Definitely.

20. found out who your friends are: Yeah, some friendships have fallen apart or been tested. That’s never fun.

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: Yes

General

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: Most? I tend to accept friend requests from people I don’t *know* but have lots of mutuals with and I’m sure we’ve run into each other or run in the same circles. So like, 85%?

23. do you have any pets: MY LIGHT OF MY LIFE, MY DOG ODIN. HE’S THE BEST AND I WILL SCREAM ABOUT HIM FOR DAYS IF YOU LET ME.

24. do you want to change your name: Ahaha, I’ve already changed my name. I used to go by my middle name and then started going by my first when I changed schools. I’ve changed my last name too. I’d make a mediocre spy.

25. what did you do for your last birthday: On my actual birthday, I got lunch with friends out and then had dinner made for me by other friends/my surrogate family (they made me steak) And then that weekend I went out for drinks with friends and my favorite bar tender bought me a round and gave me the special pint glass. It was a great birthday week.

26. what time did you wake up: 5:45.... uggghhh.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: I was surprisingly asleep! Good job adulting Lauren, you went to bed on time.

28. name something you can’t wait for: I’m stealing one of my answers from K- The Punisher series! Also, moving to MA, finishing my second book, getting a new house, and currently I can’t wait for my second cup of coffee.

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: September I think........... Yeah, that sounds right.

31. what are you listening to right now: My co-worker’s FB messenger going off...

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I... think so? Sure. I’m sure I have.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: My co-worker’s FB messenger going off!!! (Vibrate is a setting. USE IT.)

34. most visited website: Tumblr, Pinterest, and Gmail.

35. hair color: Strawberry blonde/ red, and currently with purple, copper, and bright red highlights.

36. long or short hair: Short, asymmetrical cut. I used to have long mermaid hair and chopped it all off. Showering takes WAY less time now haha.

37. do you have a crush on someone: I had a crush on an old co-worker, but I left and haven’t seen him in so long that it’s faded. Celebrity crushes? YO HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU HAVE??

38. what do you like about yourself: I’d like to think I’m funny but Idek lol. I’m creative and passionate. I’m a good friend to people. I’m really proud of my empathy and compassion, especially in a world that tells you not to be. I’m also not to be fucked with, and I like that about myself. I like that I can fit into different groups, chill with different kinds of people, and no one can put labels on me because I don’t fit any mold at all.

39. piercings: Hold on lemme count... 11!

40. blood type: SHit, I should probably know this about myself... O.... Positive? Negative? I’m an O, I know that much! (bad job adulting Lauren. Bad job)

41. nickname: I don’t really have a nickname... Not that I’m aware of anyway. I’m not opposed to one! But my names don’t really make for good nickname material haha.

42. relationship status: single, and TOTALLY fine with that. Ya girl is too busy for that relationship stuff right now.

43. zodiac: Scorpio

44. pronouns: She/her

45. favorite tv show: Listen, stop trying to make me pick between my children I love them all equally okay?

46. tattoos: I have to count again, hold on.... 8!

47. right or left handed: right-handed

48. surgery: A few times. 4 maybe?

49. piercing: see above.

50. sport: That I played? Volleyball (very poorly I might add). That I watch? Baseball. The only sport I give 2 shits about is baseball. And maybe rugby if it’s on and I like the team.

51. vacation: I have a girls weekend planned for the end of this month. My last true vacation was to Beaufort with @asnowballschance and then up to North Adams, MA to visit a friend who had moved. Man I’ve traveled a lot this year...

52. pair of trainers: I have one pair of true “trainers”. The rest are like Converse sneakers or slip ons that can’t be used for actual physical activity, they just make me look sporty haha.

More General

53. eating: Home made trail mix for breakfast

54. drinking: Water... and more coffee

55. i’m about to: email my realtor, refill my water bottle, and start writing. I have a Camp NaNo word count to get to.

56. waiting for: NEWS ABOUT THE PUNISHER. GIVE IT YOU ANIMALS. Also waiting for the caffeine to kick in....

57. want: to find a house in my price range that DOESN’T need serious remodels. Seriously, I’m not Bob Villa. Let it be move in ready or close to it please and thank you.

58. get married: Yes! Absolutely! But the dude has to show up first... haha

59. career: Writer/author. I mean, I work an office job to pay the bills but that’s not my career.

60. hugs or kisses: Both? plz love me.

61. lips or eyes: Eyes! I’m so enamored with people’s eyes- the color, the shape, the way they show emotion, the way they change in the light. I love it.

62. shorter or taller: Taller? I’m 5′8 almost 5′9 so sometimes that’s hard to find...

63. older or younger: Older. I have the hardest time finding anyone my age who is compatible.

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Arrrrmmmmmssss. Not jacked. Just strong. Broad shoulders and a wide, strong chest makes me WEAK

65. hook up or relationship: Both, depending on my mood. I’m currently hooking up with a couple people, but I’m so not wanting to date.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hahahahha, I’m called the human embodiment of the grinning Devil emoji for a reason.

67. kissed a stranger: Yes. It was..........

68. drank hard liquor: Lord help me yes.

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: My glasses are my everything. I’m so blind without them it’s awful. I never take them off.

70. turned someone down: Many times. I’m a picky girl.

71. sex on the first date: Sure, I’ve done it before. Worked out fine!

72. broken someone’s heart: Yeahh... It sucked at the time but it was necessary.

73. had your heart broken: Yes, in more ways than one.

74. been arrested: No, but I’ve been yelled at by the Coast Guard. That was fun.

75. cried when someone died: Of course!

76. fallen for a friend: Yes.

Do You Believe In …

77. yourself: Yes! Most of the time. Okay, like 67% of the time.

78. miracles: Yes, but probably not in the way you’re thinking.

79. love at first sight: Maybe? I’ve never experienced it myself though.

80. santa claus: I used to! Now I believe in the spirit of Christmas/ Holidays that make people want to keep the idea of him alive for children. It’s a precious concept and tradition.

81. kiss on the first date: Sure, if it feels right. Life’s too short. Kiss the person you wanna touch faces with.

82. angels: Yes, but again, not the way you probably think

Other

83. current best friends’ names: *EXTREME KRIS JENNER VOICE* I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS

84. eye color: Blue green

85. favorite movie: PSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH look you’ve made it to the end of this list do you really think I’m able to pick just one???

#get to know me #lists #these are fun I love these #Thanks K!!#about me

4 notes · View notes

notafeeling · 7 years

Note

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48 sufferrrrrrr

wow,,, thanks,,,, anon,,,,

(for the TMI one)

1. what are you wearing?

red and white striped dress and black leggings

2. ever been in love?

…don’t think so? i don’t really know what love is supposed to feel like so

3. ever had a terrible breakup?

single since forever

4. how tall are you?

taller than 165cm maybe??? been ages since i checked my height

5. how much do you weigh?

i have not touched the scale in years but like definitely over 45kg

6. any tattoos do you want?

a small one with a meaning. don’t know what though.

7. any piercings that you want?

no actually. i got my ears pierced when i was younger but then they got infected so i never wore my earrings again.

8. otp?

anxiety and happiness.

9. favourite show?

why pick one when you can join hundreds of fandoms and clog up your tumblr dash. right now maybe one day at a time?

10. favourite bands?

call me stereotypical but P!ATD. and purity rings.

11. something you miss?

eMOTIONAL STABILITY.

12. favourite song?

hmmm……. sincerely, me (dear evan hansen)

13. how old are you?

turning 14 this year

14. zodiac sign?

scorpio

15. hair colour?

brown

16. favourite quote?

i’m not much of a quote person… this is pessimistic but “you’ll never fail if you don’t try so why bother”. only to annoy my teachers when they ask me that question.

17. favourite singer?

troYE SIVAN MY BOY.

18. favourite colour?

redddd.

19. loud music or soft?

if you aren’t actively trying to ruin your hearing, then what’s the point of listening to music?

20. where do you go when you’re sad?

my room and tumblr.

21. how long does it take you to shower?

depends. sometimes only 10 minutes sometimes an hour.

22. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

half an hour max.

23. ever been in a physical fight?

not a proper one, no.

24. turn on?

when people talk to me about our lord and savior.

25. turn off?

when people talk to me about “our lord and savior”.

26. the reason i joined tumblr?

because i kept seeing tumblr posts on instagram and thought “why not” so here i am now.

27. fears?

athazagoraphobia and automatonophobia. fear of being forgotten/forgetting and fear of human-like figures (i cannot stand statues, mannequins, dolls, etc.)

28. last thing that made you cry?

myself talking to my cat thinking about certain memories.

29. last time you cried?

like a few nights ago.

30. meaning behind your url?

i actually started this blog to write about a prince who goes to hot topic, only to find out that the store is it’s own person and is really lonely. they travel across the country, fighting evil and becoming good friends. soon hot topic no longer feels alone and the prince feels whole, for he had also been lonely. before they know it, they become inseparable. they honestly couldn’t imagine where’d they be now if they never met. but one day- one day one of prince’s enemies decides to hit him where it hurts, and wounds hot topic. prince does everything he can to help his fallen friend. finally, the sun travels below the horizon, taking the last of hot topic’s breath with it.

31. last book you read?

panic by lauren oliver. still haven’t finished but quite good.

32. last song you listened to?

a heathers song. maybe candy store??

33. last show you watched?

brooklyn nine nine

34. last person you talked to?

face to face? my dad. online? @princeyandanxiety

35. the relationship between you and the last person you texted?

through actual text, cousins.

36. favourite food?

idk why would you ask me? it depends on what i want.

37. place you want to visit?

sweden. for the parades. ;)

38. last place you were?

my kitchen??? holiday-wise, up north to visit family.

39. do you have a crush?

maybe. idk. it could be but it also could be me liking her more than everyone else in a totally platonic way.

40. last time you kissed someone?

never.

41. last time you were insulted and what was it?

that i can remember right now, probably near the end of term when this guy got offended at me for shipping and called me some slurs. fun.

42. what colour underwear are you wearing?

black. like my heart.

43. what colour shirt are you wearing?

it isn’t a shirt but red and white.

44. what colour bottoms are you wearing?

black. like my soul.

45. wearing any bracelets?

does a hairtie that’s been there ever since i last had my ponytail up for school count?

46. last sport you played?

i dont even know. touch maybe? i dont remember what it was called but it was like touch.

47. last song you sang?

freeze your brain (because heathers is amazing)

48. last prank call you remember doing?

i actually haven’t prank called anyone since like… my sleepover in fourth grade?? and that wasn’t even me, that was my friends.

#asks #anon

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speaknowslut13 · 3 years

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Dearest Lauren!

I had a message partway typed up this morning and then I had to sprint after my landlord (who I’ve been trying to track down for like six weeks about renewing my lease) and by the time I got that sorted out, tumblr had refreshed, so back to the drawing board!

I love your photos, thank you so much for sharing them! 💖 your wedding dress is gorgeous and you both look so happy 🥺 I also love your husband’s teal shirt and the flower choices! The sea looks so beautiful, ugh I miss her! 😫

That’s a really tough situation to be in with the brother in law, I’m sorry you had to go through that! It’s so important to do the things that are right for *you* though and it sounds like getting married when you did was the right choice, despite the bil. Would you ever want to do like a vow renewal ceremony at some point to have that celebration or is that something that matters to you anymore?

I’m sorry to hear about your father in law and your grandmother. Expecting a difficult thing never makes it easier when it happens. I hope the project is bringing you peace and that it’s been something nice to do with your mom! My gram is not doing well lately, we recently found out that her cancer returned, so that’s been really hard because I’m not able to see her. My sister visits a lot though so we video chat often.

I can definitely appreciate that! Family is tricky as it is, let alone when extended family gets brought into it. When I was in my teens and really not getting along with my parents (for a variety of reasons lol) my best friends mom told me to “avoid optional trauma,” so I really try to be deliberate and have firm boundaries with my interactions with a lot of my family.

I love your poem! “And I watched my heart be sold” is such a pretty line. Tell me more about the folklore musical 👀👀👀 that’s a very intriguing idea to me.

Okay cool! I personally prefer puzzle games, and I never really got into Pokémon, but I have a bunch of friends who play. What’s your favorite character?

Vancouver is totally cool! I adore the PNW and I love coast so much. Plus it’s close to Seattle, which is easily my favorite US city. Lots of cool museums and cool music!

Understandable! I’m hoping that some of the things we’ve seen appear throughout the pandemic, like zoom, asynchronous classes, and open note/book tests will remain more of the norm so that people who can’t be in a traditional classroom setting can still access an education. Though sitting in front of a computer all day does have its drawbacks too 😅 the fashion design program sounds super interesting, what kind of classes did you take for it?

I mean I don’t think that acknowledging and honoring the hard stuff and the struggles takes away from the good stuff and it definitely doesn’t make you ungrateful because bad stuff is just a fact of life sometimes.

I also have a bunch of plants! 🪴 my collection makes me so happy and makes the place feel so nice. (I also named them all last year during the lockdown lmfao, do your plants have names?)

It’s crazy to me to watch everything happening in the US, because stuff is still very strict here, like we’re required to wear FFP2 masks and restaurants only recently reopened for in person dining, and you can only go if you show your vaccine card or a negative test. Testing is super easy and free here, I’ve been tested almost every other day since like January when we resumed partial in person teaching. I really feel for all the little ones this year, it was horrible for my students (who are high schoolers), I can’t imagine what it’s like for the under 10s! But I agree, health & safety is the most important thing, even if it’s difficult. Ugh. Hoping that more people in the US get vaccinated and that the vaccine becomes more accessible around the rest of the world too.

Do you have a comfort movie? I’m particularly attached to Coraline and the Labyrinth with David Bowie haha.

Have you heard Lorde’s new song yet?? It’s all over my dash but I haven’t found an audio yet. I’m so excited!! Halsey would definitely be amazing, and I’m super stoked because I got my chemical romance tickets today for their tour next summer!!

Hope you’ve been having an amazing week! Xoxo 💖 Drew

Hey Drew!

I wrote that poem after a situation I was in that made me feel powerless. So that’s actually my favorite line, too. I had to write a villanelle structured poem for a class and I chose that subject. I don’t know anymore how accurate to the format it is, but it’s still one of my better pieces.

Someday, Chase and I would love to do a vow renewal. We originally wanted to do one on our five year mark. We are aiming for ten, though. I’ve also just accepted that it may not ever happen. There aren’t many people in my life I’d invite. Mostly immediate family and our best friends. I don’t associate with any extended family that’s still living anymore. We will see what happens, though.

I’m sorry your Gram isn’t well. I’ve seen too many of my loved ones struggle with cancer. It’s a viscous disease. So, I will be sending out love and strength to you and your family.

I’m a charmander girl, generally. I love doing puzzle type games too. Although, I can get a little too hyper fixated on them, so I don’t play puzzle games too often.

I named my succulents, too. They are: Belinda, Amadeus, Steve, And Mimi. I have another one I haven’t named yet. No name has really stuck yet.

I like Solar Power! I heard it yesterday. It’s got this great 60’s vibe. It’s more quiet than I was expecting but still so upbeat.

One of my favorite movies is the Princess Bride. It’s quotable and sweet.

Folklore the Musical was an idea I had when I was listening to the album one day. Even though the songs aren’t all interconnected, they can be. They can tell this story of love lost and found. It was a silly idea that I shared.

The fashion program was a lot of art and design classes. You had to take basics like color theory. We also had to take some business and marketing classes. The latter half of the degree was mostly illustration and construction. Construction included things like pattern making. By the end of the program you would have a collection and portfolio you had to present. I was halfway through it when I got pregnant. I was just starting to get into pattern making and illustration. I was excited to take some of the more advanced technique classes and specialty classes. It was easy for me but a lot of work. My pregnancy was not smooth sailing, and like I said my health took a nose dive. I tried to come back after my pregnancy but my health wasn’t stable enough to handle it. Then the school closed. So now I’m stuck with debt and no degree 🤷‍♀️. Sucks but oh well.

I never asked, but what are your pronouns? I was telling Chase about my new friend and I realized I didn’t know them. If you don’t want to share, that’s fine too! Mine are she/her, though.

I hope you got your lease all sorted out! And I hope your week has been going well. ❤️

#themodrenreplies #inthaf anon

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fourteenacross · 8 years

Text

2016 in Review

I’ve done these stupid surveys every year for the past ten years and I don’t care if LJ is dead, I’m gonna keep doing them.

The writing one is still in progress because it involves a lot of linking and thoughtful responses. Below are Fandom in 2016 and Life in 2016, mostly for my own records.

Fandom 2016

1. Your main fandom of the year?

Oh god, this has a different answer for the first time in five years, but definitely Hamilton? Up until SM, the only fannish words I wrote this year were Hamilton, most of the shit I reblogged on Tumblr was Hamilton...jesus, it’s like 2004 up in this joint.

2. Your favorite film watched this year? This is really difficult. Um, probably Ghostbusters because it blew me away and was totally unexpected as a favorite. I knew I’d probably like it, but not necessarily six-times-in-theatres level of liking.

Runners up are The Conjuring 2, which would have won without Ghostbusters, and Moana, which I found surprisingly moving and would probably see six more times without getting bored.

3. Your favorite book read this year? I’m gonna say Shadowshaper by Daniel José Older, which is an amazing modern urban fantasy set in Brooklyn about an afro-latina teenager who discovers she’s part of an old spiritual order that can channel spirits into art. IT’S SO GOOD? But I will say that The Diviners by Libba Bray and the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo were neck and neck with it right up until I made my final list for our WBS year-end episode. The best middle grade book I read was George by Alex Gino.

4. Your favorite album or song to listen to this year? I honestly am not sure that I listened to any “new” albums outside of The Hamilton Mixtape this year? I spent the start of the year listening to Hamilton and Great Comet non-stop, then listened to every Dar song in order and all of the 69 Love Songs in order for a couple months...but yeah, the only ~*~new~*~ thing I can think of is The Hamilton Mixtape.

5. Your favorite TV show of the year? Prooooobably Brooklyn Nine-Nine? Or maybe the end of Gravity Falls.

6. Your favorite online fandom community of the year? idk. To be honest, I still don’t quite ~*~get~*~ tumblr (tho I had some nice conversations via the chat function, despite my general awkwardness as a human), LJ is dead, and while I connect with fandom friends and talk about fandom on Twitter, I don’t do that as much as I whine about my life. I guess AO3 has been great via comments received, but that also feels one-sided, as chatty cathy as I sometimes get when responding to people’s comments. Most of my fandom conversations this year have PROBABLY been over text?

7. Your best new fandom discovery of the year? I’m trying to think if there was anything new I was super into? Maybe Six of Crows, which I talked about a lot and read a couple fics for?

8. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year? X-Men: Apocalypse, for sure. Man, after DoFP, I had SUCH HIGH HOPES for XMA, which was totally my own fault. Every time someone made a comment about how weird something looked or how dumb something sounded I rolled my eyes, because they had done the exact same thing for DoFP, which was AMAZING. But, uh...this time they were all right. The more I thought about the movie, the more it fell apart for me.

9. Your TV boyfriend of the year? Strictly teevee, probably...idk, Luke Cage?

10. Your TV girlfriend of the year? I don’t watch SNL regularly, but can I cheat and say Kate McKinnon?

11. Your biggest squee moment of the year? Seeing Hamilton. Seeing Great Comet. Ghostbusters.

12. The most missed of your old fandoms? I really missed the joy I got from DoFP when I was watching XMA :(

13. The fandom you haven’t tried yet, but want to? I’m p mono-fannish, so I’m good for now.

14. Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year? Going to Chicago in May! Heroes! DragonCon! WBS liveshow! Maybe other things! I don’t know, I haven’t planned that much of the year yet!

***

General 2016

What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before? Voted for a woman for President. Went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Um...probably other stuff too? Gosh, I don’t know, I’m so boring.

Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

+ Make a writing schedule and stick to it Did not do this. Like, at all. I got maybe a week on schedule over the course of the whole year /o\

+ Go on more dates Yes! I did do this! None of them really went anywhere, but I went on a whole bunch!

+ Get into the cooking habit and stay there Ish? I got better about making lunches for the week, but I wasn’t super consistent with it. Another thing to try in 2017.

+ Read more I did do this! Sort of! I didn’t keep super good track of it and I was mostly trying to read more adult books and I failed MISERABLY at that.

For 2017: + Read more adult books + Keep track of good things that happen + Make a writing schedule and try to stick to it for at least a month + Be better with money--pay off half the credit card + Go on more dates

Did anyone close to you give birth? Joni had a baby! It was so weird! One of us grew a tiny human! He’s ADORABLE.

Did anyone close to you die? My (step)grandfather.

What countries did you visit? Just this one! But within this one I went to...Charlotte, ATL, Orlando, Arkansas...and, you know, the Northeast in general.

What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016? I'd like to feel more on top of things. I'd like more organization in my life. I'd like more sleep. I'd like a girlfriend.

What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? November 8, not for good reasons, unfortunately. May 21 (Hamilton, Hadestown), November 12 (Great Comet), stuff like Heroes and DCon.

What was your biggest achievement of the year? Finishing the goddamn ghosthunters fic, HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN?

What was your biggest failure? idk what my biggest PERSONAL failure was, but I certainly know what my biggest failure as an American was :\

Did you suffer illness or injury? Brain stuff, some colds, and I broke my foot.

What was the best thing you bought? Great Comet tickets, plane tickets to visit various people. My dumb Silhouette machine that I love. Tiny John Laurens and The Washingtonians, both of which are within my sightline. This fuzzy blanket.

Whose behavior merited celebration? My friends. A lot of excellent activists.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? The American people as a whole and everything associated with our clusterfuck election outcome.

Where did most of your money go? Grown-up type stuff (rent, utilities, groceries), cons, and travel.

What did you get really, really, really excited about? HeroesCon, DragonCon, Hamilton, Hadestown, Great Comet, The Conjuring 2, finishing the ghosthunters.

What song will always remind you of 2016? I mean, mostly just The Hamilton Mixtape, probably.

Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? Uh. Up until November I would have said “happier,” but currently I’m definitely sadder and more anxious. b) thinner or fatter? Same. c) richer or poorer? Same.

What do you wish you'd done more of? Writing. Sleeping. Hanging out with people.

What do you wish you'd done less of? Being depressed. Obsessing over stupid shit people said on the internet.

Did you fall in love in 2016? With this fuzzy blanket.

What was your favorite TV program? Brooklyn Nine-Nine!

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Many, many people. THANKS, POLITICS.

What was the best book you read? Shadowshaper by Daniel José Older. See above for more details.

What was your greatest musical discovery? Nothing really new, tbh.

What did you want and get? Cons, brunch, travel, Great Comet tickets.

What did you want and not get? A female President. A girlfriend. More sleep.

What was your favorite film of this year? Spy or Star Wars or Jurassic World, I guess?

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 31! The weekend before, me and @pearlo and @cygnaut and @littledust saw XMA a couple times! And Laura and Erica and I went to the Gardner and then I had a party and people mostly hung out and played Drawful and drank a lot of champagne. On my actual birthday, @ginthusiastic and I just went out for dinner after work and I had a drink that was the same color as my dress.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? A different election outcome. Literally anything. A box turtle could be our president and I’d be happy.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016? Retro-y dresses.

What kept you sane? @ginthusiastic @pearlo @caphairdadbeard @isjustprogress @intrikate88 @anachronistique @lisapizza @charmingpplincardigans @brilligspoons and the rest of the Boston crew whose tumblrs I don’t know/remember, and the DCon crew and The Hamilton Mixtape and theatre and the cast of Hamilton and crime show marathons.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I have a Daveed Diggs problem. And an unfortunate swing crush on Morgan Marcell. And Kate McKinnon was A THING that happened. And Jasmine exists and also Stephanie Beatiz and XMA was a bust, but Sophie Turner was A+.

What political issue stirred you the most? Gee, I wonder.

Who did you miss? Pretty much everyone when they are not right next to me. Sarah Bay, a lot, but I feel weird singling one person out. [This is exactly what I wrote for the last two years, but I'm keeping it because it's still true.]

Who was the best new person you met? I’m trying to think of actualfax new people I met? Boston Maja is the only IRL person who comes to mind immediately? Oh, and I met Ellen at DCon? Online-wise, I met a slew of great folks through Hamilton-related crap and you’re all lovely 💜

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016: I’m still not sure what the lesson from the ‘16 election is. Don’t trust polls? People are more misogynistic than you think? People are more racist than you think? I don’t know. I guess I’m still learning it.

Quote a song that sums up your year: I am the one thing in life I can control

Maybe THAT’S the lesson of 2016. idk, man.

#stuff about me #year in review #2016

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speaknowslut13 · 3 years

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Lauren my beloved! Sorry I missed yesterday, my life is chaos and also I was out of data haha.

Ohh very fun! I feel like kids that age are fun because their personalities are really starting to develop.

Awesome! I’ve also played flute since 5th grade and then I played piccolo in marching band all through college. I miss playing in groups, and I’m really hoping that’ll be possible again soon! You are to drums as I am to singing lmfao I was almost kicked out of choir in high school bc I canNOT carry a tune. What other instruments do you want to learn?

I love channels like that! That and cooking channels are the majority of my subscribed to haha so if you ever decide to start a YouTube, I will certainly be on your subscribers list. Understandable, Tiktok stresses me outtttt lol I go on from time to time bc my sister always sends me a bunch but then I have to delete the app again.

Awwwwwe oh my gosh, that’s so cute!! 🥺🥺 what was your wedding like? (Though I never plan on getting married myself, I loveeeeee weddings hehe) what kind of stuff do you like to do together?

Omggg what an incredible experience for rep tour! Tumblr during rep tour was one of my favorite times ever on tumblr, like so exciting to get clips of the b stage songs and see peoples posts about meeting her! What other concerts have you been too?

I’m hoping to visit Croatia at the end of august, if everything goes according to plan/covid doesn’t once again wreck my plans. I grew up in the northwestern US, and there people joke that the seasons are “fire season, road construction, winter” and winters are regularly so much snow, windy, and -20°, so not ideal conditions for enjoying them. Have you been to Grand Canyon or any of the other national parks in the southwest? They all look so beautiful, that’s one part of the US I would definitely like to see more of.

Thank you!! I’m really excited to be a student again but I am also really glad I took some time off. I enjoy Dostoevsky! Probably not my all time favorite, but my best friend loves him so I’ve read a lot of his stuff and talk about it a lot. Also a big fan of Byron and I have a love/hate relationship with Shakespeare. My favorite poet is ee cummings, I love Cynthia Kadohata, huge Neil Gaiman fan. And many many others haha but off the top of my head let’s go with that 😅

What do you write about? And in what medium? I write a lot of poetry and I like writing non fiction, but I learned in college that I am NOT a fiction writer hahaha.

What have you been up to this weekend?? I hope you’ve had a lovely day 💖 Drew

ps: I love reading your responses! Please don’t feel bad or stressed about writing a lot ✨✨

Hello, Drew! Chaos feels like the natural order of the world lately. It’s fine if you miss a day or two! I understand.

I actually never really wanted to be married myself. I figured if I did, I’d be at least 30. I wanted to get school done first. Then, after my previous relationship, I decided I wanted to be alone. Fate had different plans. I also wasn’t sure I wanted kids. Changed my mind. However one is plenty. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone invalidates a person’s choices by saying “oh you’ll change your mind”. So even though I changed mine, I won’t be implying or outright denying that you don’t know your own mind.

My wedding was small. We eloped. It was a complicated situation with his family at the time, and we had decided to have the protection of a legal document since we were living together anyway. We picked randomly picked the day. Turned out to be Valentine’s Day. So, I, along with millions of other people, got married at a court house. In fact, someone was wearing my same dress that day! It was awkward. We have yet to have any celebration outside of that day. It was just my immediate family. However, I’ve never regretted marrying him and I still look back fondly on it. Fun fact: his parents found out we were married after we totaled their truck a few months later. Not so fun fact: that was the scariest accident I’ve been in to date. Accident wasn’t our fault and at least in this accident I had airbags. Ever been in an accident? Or in one without modern crash technology? It’s not very fun. Hurts a lot. I remember having to tell my father in law, on the side of the road, that Chase and I had actually gotten married. He was stunned but super supportive. Like I previously said, it was complicated . And I can get into it more, but there’s so much else to address right now!

We really like sitting in silence on our phones together! 😂 We are one of those annoying couples who like to do everything together. We are practically attached at the hip and the pandemic has only made it worse. He’s really interested in getting into D&D. We like playing video games together. We both love swimming. We both really want to travel. I’d love to take him to Europe. We like movies. But we both compliment our different likes and knowledge. He loves animated movies and animes and I love books. We both love art. He’s so good. He lets me do his makeup and nails from time to time. It doesn’t bother him at all. But not only that he’s really helpful at making sure I get my medicines and that I get rest when I need it. Throughout the lockdown he’d do all the running around so I wouldn’t have to go out since I’m immuno compromised. Sometimes I feel like he’s too good to me and the kid. I try to give back what I can. But honestly, he’s my best friend too.

Ahem. Enough gushing.

Other than some musicals and local symphonies, I’ve never been to any other concerts! Weird. I know! I’ve wanted to but never have. I’ve always wanted to see Imagine Dragons. Or Panic! at the Disco. There’s a few artists actually, I’d love to go see.

Croatia is BEAUTIFUL. My time in Europe was 2 weeks during July. I’m in love with it. If you go, Rijeka is wonderful. But near Rijeka is a mountain town called Fužine. It’s MAGICAL. I spent most of my time there. One of the upsides to staying in Rijeka is that it’s just a few hours away from Venice, too. Which. Was also breathtaking. I cried at the beauty of it. I have pictures of these places and I love looking at them. But they also make me a little sad. For multiple reasons. We had a layover in Munich on our way home and so we spent two days there as well. We drove up to the Neuschwanstein castle. It was amazing. But the most harrowing part of that stop was at the site of Dachau. I will never forget the heaviness of it. I had to stop halfway through. It was too much for my sensitivity. A privilege I will never forget.

I was able to visit Idaho (Rexburg) during October and December one year and I loved it. I’ve only ever been to Washington (coastal) and Oregon during the summer months. I wanted to go to school in Washington, originally. Thought I’d move up there. Now the goal is to ultimately expat. Canada, likely. We will see if that ever pans out, though.

I’ve been to the Grand Canyon once when I was 10 or 11(?). We went during December to ride the “Polar Express”. It’s a special event they run during the winter months before Christmas. We were snowed in so we stayed an extra day and took the train to the Grand Canyon. So I got to see it all snowy and clear. It’s gorgeous and I highly recommend it once. I don’t know if I would ever really go back but I might take the kid someday. I at least want her to go on the Polar Express ride. It’s cute and fun for the kids. I was a little too old to fully enjoy it, but my little sister was roughly the right age.

I’ve been to several places in Arizona. The missions, Jerome, and I’ve also been to some places in Colorado and New Mexico. I can’t recall all their names off the top of my head and it was a long time ago.

I greatly appreciate anyone who can write poetry. It is not my forte. They come out childish and awkward. So, I keep those to myself. I write anything and everything. I have several stories, but three top priority right now. One is complete but needs serious reworking and revision. I started it when I was 15. It’s a paranormal mystery with romance. The second one is a fantasy that I started with a friend when I was 14/15. It has its own world and has taken on a life of its own since then. It’s massive. And the third one is a coming of age story. It’s my most delicate one. I started it when I was 21. I have shared an excerpt on tumblr of this one. It’s my most complicated one yet. Like any artist, I’m constantly second guessing my work and lamenting my talent.

This weekend has been mostly spent recharging. I’ve been helping my mom with a project. And of course swimming. I’m a child at heart and I bought myself a mermaid tail. I’ve elevated my pool game. It’s so much fun but my body is yelling at me. I’m not as energetic as I was in my youth. You mentioned marching band? You and I really do have much in common! Not only are you a flautist, but a marching one at that?! I marched in high for two years. I loved it but I started to get burned out. And then I started horseback riding and planned to do that instead. My parents couldn’t afford to do both. And then I caught mono. Looking back, I understand why my mono knocked me out for so long (it’s linked to my autoimmune issues) but at the time every one of my friends thought I was being dramatic. It was kind of a horrible experience. So even if I had signed up for band my junior year, I would’ve had to quit. And then my senior year I signed up for this program that put me through a college program to get my EMT-B. I didn’t take band at all that year. Now I just play for myself. Ideally I’d learn every instrument.

I actually couldn’t sing very well for the longest time. Which was ironic because my mom was operatically trained. My older sister was also trained. And my little sister preferred chorus to band. I ended up teaching myself later. So now I don’t sound terrible but I’m not going to take my solo act on the road anytime soon.

If I can teach myself makeup, art, instruments, and other various things, then maybe I can also someday be brave enough to put myself out there on the internet. And if I do, I will definitely let you know! I will at least have 3 subscribers. 😂

Tell me about this trip you’re planning to Croatia!

#inthaf anon #themodrenreplies

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