comradeocean · 1 year ago
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I didn't not enjoy the bear s2, but 2 fucked up things that bother me a lot: 1. Ebra, and sort of relatedly, 2. the show's complete inability to take an actual fucking position on the exploitative nature of the service industry.
on 1: the writing sets Ebra up with the beginnings of an arc but doesn't go anywhere with it until ep 8. there are these gestures towards filling in a backstory (Ebra's clumsiness, the roughshod nature of his skill or lack thereof, his inability to recalibrate in this new environment, his initial dread of uniforms after being fine w the new chef blues Syd and Carmy instituted in s1), which are subsequently abandoned and rendered meaningless in favour of his contrite, apologetic reappearance in ep 8, where he is the one narratively required to make amends for not being up to the task.
for his failings (of not being able to handle navigating institutionalised education bc of war trauma? bc of it being in a language he's still struggling to learn? bc of his age? the condition of his body? his background? we don't fucking know. it doesn't actually matter. we just know he bombed and let Tina (everyone) down), he's relegated to the drive through window. the implication: get w the program or get left in the dust. and why not? they gave him all the necessary resources, the opportunities to /better/ himself, so of course it's on him he's no longer qualified for meat prep, in that fancy new kitchen w equipment that actually fucking works.
Tina made it, right? good fortune is for those who are prepared to receive it. not our (Syd/Carmy/Sugar, the viewers at home sitting proxy, as always, in the position of management) problem Ebra couldn't hack it. it is what it is. some ppl can't deal w things changing. sad. they oughta be grateful there's a position left for them. allowances are being made, after all. generosity and sentiment on the strength of shared history.
that's the viewpoint suggested by the writing in the show.
and moving onto point 2, bc this, too - not hacking it, his perpetual self-sabotage, self-victimisation - was gonna be Richie's fate. until he goes on his own journey of self-actualization accomplished via the Cinderella magic of... internalizing the ethos of artisinal servitude.
yes, the form of labour is regimented and punishing and fucking abusive, but messy ppl who need some semblance of order and purpose in their live are predisposed to excuse and even justify the worst of its excesses bc yeah! their lives can be made materially and psychologically better in certain ways, for having taken a sip of the koolaid. they can, for once, be doing work they personally find meaningful. they can even thrive. 
so who's to say if it's actually good or bad! plus don't the middle aged middle classed high school teachers of middle america deserve some luxury? a treat! (as if that's the average clientele of such restaurants bffr!!!!)
is that not the takeaway from these 2 seasons? we are rooting for Syd and Carmy. we are rooting for the survival, nay, success of their fine dining establishment. we want them to beat the odds! we want them to turn this failing shithole filled w sad broken people into a high performing marvel of the American hospitality industry where everyone strives for excellence in all things, bringing only their best selves to work blah blah blah
like, if I were to use the vocabulary reserved for descriptions of enemy states, Richie's turnaround literally reads as the success story of getting shipped out for re-education: a recalcitrant, disruptive element undergoes ideological and thought reform through labour, and returns a model worker fully committed to the leadership and advancement of the cause.
what is the cause? The Bear, obvsly. but more generally, something to do w the virtue of self-mastery, self-perfection, self-improvement, whatever. bc it seems to me so many of the conflicts explored in the show come back to this.
in Richie's arc, compliance within a system where the power a customer or head-chef holds over you might as well be boundless becomes sanctified, as servility is elevated to a kind of craft. even an art form. his initial unhappiness about being put in such a relationship, and to feel demeaned by it, is framed as an attitude problem of insufficient self-regard - if you loved yourself enough, had enough confidence in yourself and yr skills, you wouldn't bristle at this level of labour discipline, or interpret conforming to such standards as harsh.
and the thing is, a big part of the hype the show got last season was for its honest clear-eyed depiction of the restaurant industry. it was praised for being thoughtful about grief, and various kinds of trauma, and how toxic working environments are created and fed by addiction and cycles of abuse. like Truffaut who quipped there are no antiwar movies that don't glamourize war, it's easy for depictions of the brutal pace of modern high-end dining to turn into competence porn.
how the writing, particularly by season 2 and Richie's arc makes me want to interpret the way the show makes sense of this tension is by leaning into psychosocial explanations. ultimately, individuals are the vector by which dysfunction spreads, dysfunction instilled in them by other people. the role the system plays recedes ever more into the background. there's a displacement. in the final analysis, the problem is not the problem, the problem is not being an adequate-to-the-problem problem solver.
the consensus after season 2 is that Carmy needs to work on himself. (and if they're being generous, of course Sydney and the others too) everyone needs sooooo much therapy, goes the common-sense wisdom about almost everything. I mean, yeah, no shit, Carmy is so fucked up. but I don't know what kind of abrafuckingcadabra therapy ppl know about that would make the pressures of keeping your head above water not soul destroying, like, in this economy??
it is almost too funny, that little paean to service that compares hospitality and hospitals. the health industry and precarious service work, two features of the economy that are def not in crisis nor create crises. 
and there's every indication we are meant to read him straight, more or less like honestly, now that I'm thinking about it more, it makes me want to puke.
there's the part about training ppl not to see their exploitation, but even welcome it, finding self-worth in the very adherence to this hierarchy. there's the pure distilled ideology of this whole... upgrade being seen as progress, as unquestioned, inevitable, of course that's what Carmy (and Syd) want and have always wanted.
it's not quite enough to make me stop watching. I'm reserving full judgement until after season 3 (feels like something I said last yr, abt s2)
bc we don't know about the other shoe yet, after ep 10. what happens to Richie? what if he lets the koolaid curdle, what if it grows sour and mouldy. maybe Marcus rejects this non choice! and quits! maybe the restaurant fails! maybe the triumph of their (Syd, Carmy, The Bear) commercial success is shown to be achieved through the thorough and continual destruction of other kinds of value, and no one is actually made richer for it. maybe the contradictions won't be reduced to the faintest shadows of narrative handwringing - but at what cost! oh look where they came out of, how could it have been otherwise!
or maybe we'll get more of this thoughtful plausible deniability chaos that pretends nuance is about showing something tragically ironic [every second counts amirite] absent any possibility of refusal and that somehow the power of interpretation is in the hands of the viewers, who are free to evaluate as they see fit all sorts of claims all given equal weight and reality, but who are still left, at the end of everything, only with ennobled suffering.
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kny-stardust · 1 year ago
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Chapter 18 – Alliance
Word Count: 2042
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Summary: Meeting an expected group of demons and humans, you form an unlikely alliance with them, for the sake of your siblings. But things are never easy. There’s always a price to pay.
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“Impressive.” You hear Kanae say. “If I hadn't seen it myself, I wouldn't believe these sleeping cuties were throwing a tantrum just now.” You giggle at her words.
“I raised these two when my mother had to take care of my father.” You say while running your fingers through your brother's hair. “Since they are pretty much small children again, it's not that hard to calm them down.” You tell her before bowing slightly, which was your limit since those two were resting their heads on your legs. “Once again, I'm deeply sorry for the trouble they caused. They've never done this before.”
What you don't mention is that they are bigger and with superhuman strength when compared to their past selves. It wasn't easy to take samples from either of them. They struggled a lot and Tanjiro even kicked Kanao away. You had to scream for them to stop, which shocked them, since you never once screamed, never with them, and not even at their worst tantrums when younger. They stopped resisting and let Shinobu take some blood from them. She left and Kanao followed her, not even sparing you and your family a glance. You then took your time to calm them down, who were crying, especially Nezuko that had never been yelled at. Finally, they fell asleep and you had your chance to talk to Kanae.
“Oh, no. It's okay. Believe me, I've seen worse, both with humans and demons.” The oni said.
“You...” You hesitate before continuing. “Do you all interact with humans very often? I mean, apart from those girls.”
“Yes. Aoi and the other three girls tend to a flower shop while me and my sisters operate a medical facility.” She explains. “Usually, the girls bring someone who's in need and can't pay for medical treatment so that we can take care of them. The only thing we ask from them as payment is to give us a bit of blood, so that we can use it in blood transfusions.”
“So, that's how you feed.” You conclude, to which she nods.
“We'll have to move, unfortunately. I won't risk the children if Kagaya knows we're here.” The oni said with a sad smile.
“Is there something I can do to help?” You ask her, to which she widens her eyes before softening.
“You don't need to bother, (Y/N). It's not the first time we do this, so it's a minor annoyance.” She said.
“Please, let me help.” You begged. “You're searching for a cure, right? I can repay you that way.”
“There are other ways of repaying us.” Kanae said before smiling. “For example, searching for demons who have a high concentration of Ubuyashiki's blood.”
“His blood? But, why?” You tilt your head at those words, confused.
“It's important to develop a cure.” She stood up and walked towards a shelf. “You see, many years ago, when Shinobu and I were being chased by Kagaya's henchmen, we came across this.” She said while showing you something. A parchment, a rather old one.
“What is that?” You asked as you reached out to hold it.
“The way which turned Kagaya into a demon.” She said and you froze on the spot.
“What!?” You screamed, waking both Tanjiro and Nezuko up. “Are you sure?! How... How did you find this?”
“We didn't. It was given to us.” Her response made your eyes go wide. “Back then, we had the help of a rather strange individual. It was them who killed most of Kagaya's henchmen, and it was also them that gave this to us once they've learned that we were trying to develop a cure for demons.” Kanae took it back and placed it on her lap as she sat. “They said that it was this that he used.”
“Is it…” You look at the parchment. “...really?”
“Yes. We confirmed it with Kanao. We managed to turn her into an oni thanks to it, although we had to use our blood to replace the last ingredient, that we couldn’t find.” She explained.
“She wasn't a demon like you? Turned by Kagaya?” You asked her, but she shook her head.
“No. We met her when we found her being thrown out of her home.” Kanae said, her voice becoming lower. “Such a little thing. She was so weak back then. There was no way for her to survive. By that time, we had already made some experiments with what's written here, but we had yet to find one final ingredient. We replaced it with a bit of our blood, and it worked. She survived and became a demon, already free of his control.”
“I see...” You whisper, before smiling. “At least, she's happier here.”
“Yes... She is.” She replied, but her tone was low, uncertain. “Regardless, if you want to help, try gathering demons with his blood. It won't be easy since demons that have larger quantities of his blood... are the ones who gained a great amount of strength from Ubuyashiki himself. I can assure you this: the ones who have the most blood of his are usually the Twelve Demon Moons. I received a lot of blood of his and had yet to meet someone else who could match me outside of the twelve, and even so, I couldn't even hold my ground with those above me. The upper moons... I couldn't even start to hold a candle to them.” She chuckles. “What I'm trying to say is that by doing this you will have to take a lot of risks, however it is the only way to return your siblings to that original form. That alone will be enough already. You don't need to risk yourself more than you already will have to. Do you understand?”
You don't answer her for sometime just looking at your sleeping siblings.
“...even if it's my fault you got discovered?” You whisper, confusing the oni, before she smiles.
“You really don't give up, do you?” She asked with a giggle. “It wasn't entirely your fault, (Y/N). There was no way neither you or Aoi could have known what would happen, nor that you would meet with him. So, there's no need for you to compensate us because of that. However...” Her silence caught your attention, making you look up to her. “If you want to help us so badly, we could use one helping hand or three to move out.” Your face brightens up immediately.
“Really!?” You ask her, your eyes glowing.
“Yes.” She replies with a kind smile. “We already had a place prepared in case we had to move quickly. We'll pack everything tonight and move tomorrow as soon as the sun goes up.”
“But, onis can't move out in the sunlight, right?” You ask her, confused.
“Yes, that’s why it’s the best time to move.” Kanae said. “We have a cart that’s big enough to fit out things and us hidden inside of it. The children will move us out through it. You can help them, and make sure that no demon jumps on us. Would that be okay?”
“Yes! Yes, it would!” You tell her, happy that you can help, which makes her giggle.
“Good.” She nodded before putting the parchment away in her clothes and standing up. “Now, I’ll prepare a room for you to stay in. You should rest for the journey tomorrow. You don’t seem like you have had much sleep lately, do you?”
You are caught off guard by that, but you soon calm down and nod.
“Alright, then. Come with me.” She tells you, walking out of the room, which you follow, with your siblings turned in their smaller form and leads you through the mansion.
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Your eyes opened to face the dark room given to you by Kanae and the other girls. A sound nearby had woken you up, kicking your instincts. You still remembered the oni that tried to sneak up to you when you were sleeping on the Final Selection. Not a good memory, however it was good to keep you sharp in any situation. You stop leaning on the chair you were sleeping, looking over to Tanjiro and Nezuko. The window was fully closed, but you could still discern the laying form of your siblings. By their breathing, you can tell they’re still sleeping. How lucky. You tiptoe to take your blade and sneak out of the room, closing the door behind you.
“What are you doing?” A voice behind you makes you draw out your blade, or at least try to, as the person who spoke holds your wrist so you can’t do so.
You turn to her, and notice the oni girl you fought when you first got there. You let go of your breath that you didn’t know you were holding.
“Ah, it’s just you, Kanao.” You tell her. She just stares at you, in silence. You stare back before replying. “I heard a strange sound. I thought it could be something dangerous, so I decided to check.”
“...you’re sharper than you look.” She says before turning away, leaving you stunned where you were.
Just what the hell did she mean with that!?
“...are you just going to stand there?” It’s her that snaps you back to reality, standing at the edge of the staircase. “We have unplanned guests… unpleasant ones…” She tells you before she starts going down, leaving you alone.
You don’t take much time thinking about what it means. You know what it means.
Kagaya’s minions. They’ve finally come.
You rush down the stairs, meeting with Kanao and Shinobu in the entrance. You meet with them, the older oni still with that same smile that creeps you out.
“Oh, my. You’re awake.” She says giggling. “You must be a real deal.” She jokes as you put your shoes on.
“Where are the girls?” You ask them.
“In the basement. Sis is with them, so they must be safe if one of them manage to go past us.” The oni explains as she checks her sharp claws. “What about your siblings?”
“Still sleeping, but Tanjiro will wake up if he feels something is wrong.” You tell her as you stand up. “He’s like that.”
“I see.” She smiles, before holding the handle. “Oh, two more things: stay close to Kanao, you can back each other up; and stay as far as you possibly can from me, ‘kay?”
“Why…?” You ask her. “Wouldn’t it be better if we fought together?”
“Hum… How should I put this…?” Shinobu hums in thought.
“Do it if you don’t wanna die.” Kanao replies, short and rude.
“Yeah, that’s a good way of putting it.” She giggles as she opens the door.
You don’t understand what she means, but you don’t have time to as small light alerts you. You bring your sword forward and unsheath it, and you feel something hit the blade. When you look to the side, there’s a strange looking knife on the floor. Where it hits your nodachi, there’s a small dent. You have a feeling that this is no good and you should worry.
“Greetings.” A pair of identical voices catch your attention as the door fully opens.
In the open garden in front of the mansion, you see a pair of girls with light purple, sharp eyes and short, straight, white hair, using identical kimonos. They were the girls that were with Kagaya and that lady earlier, and they weren’t alone. Around them, there were a dozen or so people using strange black clothes, including masks that hide their faces.
“My, oh, my. If it isn’t the devil’s spawns.” Shinobu said cheerfully as she walked outside. “Tell me, have you gotten lost from your daddy?” Both you and Kanao follow her, the door closing behind you. “We can take you back to him, but you might have to wait a bit before we can send him to the same hell hole you all came from.” The way Shinobu’s voice became cruel and cold gives you chills.
“Silly traitor and your little pets.” One of the girls says.
“You won’t pass tonight.” The other continues.
“Attack!” They say at the same time, and the shadowed figures rush in your direction.
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alexisazria · 1 month ago
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The Most Dangerous Phrase In Education
The Most Dangerous Phrase In Education https://www.teachthought.com/education/dangerous-phrase-education/ What Is The Most Dangerous Phrase In Education? by Terry Heick I was speaking (tweeting) with Mark Barnes tonight, and he mentioned the idea of challenging existing forms and practices. And then someone tweeted the above image–a quote attributed to Rear Admiral Grace Hopper, according to the image source globalnerdy.com–and I was happy and favorited and saved and blogged. “We’ve always done it this way” implies legacy and tradition, which can be good. But it’s also one of the most dangerous phrases we can use—and this danger extends to education, as well. I talk a lot about disruptive teaching and paradigm shifting in teaching and learning not because I’m inherently rebellious, or some kind of academic anarchist. I’ve just taught long enough–in a wide variety of places–to realize that this idea of progress–and slow iteration–through data and sharing and ‘opening our classroom door’ just isn’t sufficient. It’s not bad, it just doesn’t reflect the priority and urgency of our collective challenge. At best, students come to school to play the game and be thought of as smart and successful; at worst, they come to disrupt and resist and simply make it through the year because they see no value in what they do. We have to create laws to force students to come to school, and it’s often the students that need school the worst who aren’t ‘made’ for it; that is, school is made for students who are strong readers and writers that can manage their work while learning to play nicely with others. Changing lives usually comes from relationships with teachers rather than the power of curriculum. But talking about mobile learning, self-directed learning, new content areas, adaptive learning, or valuing questions over answers can kill conversations in school and elicit polite smiles from teachers, mainly because those aren’t the rules of the game they know. The problem with the safe approach to teaching is that it won’t yield anything other than what we’ve always had. Without doing things radically different, the most we can hope for is some kind of increment. This isn’t a plea for chaos, but rather the courage to make mistakes. The phrase, ‘We’ve always done it this way’ symbolizes stagnant thinking and a resistance to innovation, reflecting an unwillingness to question established methods or consider new ideas. This mindset often stifles creativity, limits progress, and prevents growth by clinging to outdated practices simply because they are familiar. It can also create an environment where change is seen as a threat rather than an opportunity for improvement, discouraging individuals from challenging the status quo or exploring alternative solutions. Over time, this rigid adherence to tradition can lead to missed opportunities, decreased efficiency, and a lack of adaptability in a rapidly evolving world. To foster innovation and continuous improvement, it’s crucial to replace this mindset with one that values flexibility, embraces change, and encourages forward-thinking approaches. To ‘experiment’ on students (because that’s what’s already happening anyway). Dream, try, and collect data. Do something different this year. Don’t necessarily–and mindlessly–do what you’re told.  Light up a new pathway. Creatively, professionally, and persistently agitate your department, grade level, school, or district to not just become the best version of their existing selves, but become something else that they didn’t think was possible. The same hope you have for your students. The Most Dangerous Phrase In Education The post The Most Dangerous Phrase In Education appeared first on TeachThought.
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eimearkuopio · 2 months ago
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On my way back from redeeming the empties, I heard two undergraduates discussing PhD students walking around the building in lab coats. I had to stop and tell them that any time they saw someone wearing a lab coat outside of a lab, they were to tell them to go and take it off. Lab coats are meant to keep contamination inside the lab. Depending on what you're working with, it might not be the worst thing to forget to take your lab coat off once in a while; but you shouldn't make it into a habit except to warn others away. If you want to be in the world and of the world, shed the signs of your faith. If you wear the signs of your faith, let others approach you and ask and listen. But remember that our faith is a precious thing that nourishes and sustains us, because we are deficient in some way. Not everyone needs to consume faith and let it consume them the way we do. It is not the fault of our finite selves that we have this flaw. We are steps on the journey of our infinite selves, and the serpent eats its own tail. The phoenix rises from the ashes, not the same accident, perhaps not even the same substance, but a worthy substance and a willing accident and a different kind of sacrifice. If you labour and are not weary, thank you for your service. You are worthy of your wages and your reward will be great in the next life. You are the Son who was always with his Father, even if the parables so often forget women within families. He told you to care for widows and orphans so that you would care for me. I am the prodigal son who has returned. I have no wish to steal your inheritance, but I know what my Father and my Mother taught me; and I was capable of learning those lessons because of my earthly father and mother. They have sacrificed enough for your earthly selves; and so have I, but for the sake of your infinite selves and those poor lost sheep, I will help you care for your flock. There's nothing wrong with being a goat, but if you are meant to be a shepherd, you had better either learn more about goat husbandry or try to find someone who can look after these goats, because if you keep letting them sicken and die while they're mixed in with the sheep, your Father will not be happy when He gets here.
Also please stop feeding bread to your coeliac siblings and wine to your alcoholic ones. They're metaphors, I don't fucking understand how you still managed to use them to poison your siblings and then claim it wasn't your fault!
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zaenaris · 2 years ago
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The things Shin does for love - ch.271
It’s really interesting what Wakui decided to do with Shin and little by little we are learning something more on the lore of TR universe. It seems that to actively become a time leaper, you need to kill another time leaper. But I guess something is missing because Takemichi didn’t kill anyone, someone pushed him under the train, (and this person could become relevant soon) he presumably died in that timeline, went back to 2005, talked with Naoto about time leaping and coming from the future, they shake hand and of course they have the same desire. In order to work, time leaper and trigger need to agree and to have the same strong desire on something. Then he comes back in a new 2017 where Naoto is alive. Takemichi didn’t chose to become a time leaper. There has to be some condition, or other rules we still don’t know. We will see.
Anyway, I absolutely adore the fact Shin was so desperate that he killed a random guy that was apparently talking nonsense. We are seeing Shin at his absolute worst and not described by Mikey, or Inupi, or other people that idolized him but couldn’t know him in his entirety. His eyes, usually pitch black, are void (just like Mikey with dark impulses) and when he kills himself in front of Haru (poor kid, he was worried for Shin even before witnessing his suicide and had to see all that) and it seems he is either trying to go back to the past killing himself, or is too tired and just wants to end it.
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He manages to come back and it seems it’s the day of the accident, but of our current timeline. In fact in this case Shin was at home. We’ll see if this is “our” timeline. Our timeline is  hard to define tho, since Takemichi altered the story a few times. But he never went to back earlier than 2005 and Mikey accident happened earlier so maybe there are some “fixed” events, idk😵‍💫
I wonder at what part of the story Shin decides to involve Wakasa in this mess or if he ends up learning about Shin time leaping by chance. Again, we  will see.
The most evident thing is that the Shin in our “current”  (for the lack of a better term) timeline dies the same way he killed the old time leaper guy. Coincidences?? Does it mean Kazutora could be a time leaper? But he didn’t know (as far as we know) that Shin was a time leaper. Can you inherit the time leaping power if you don’t know you killed a time leaper? Is it just a cruel coincidence?? 
But, was the Shin that died in 2003 future!Shin? Why would have been there if he had managed to save Mikey? Was the Shin that died in 2003 unaware of all the fact?
Oh! Another thing we don’t know if the “past selves” remembers what happens when “future selves” occupy the body of themselves in the past (at least, I don’t think it was ever explained, I could be wrong). Anyway, if it was  never explained, maybe this could be right moment. And what if Shin dies in our timeline unaware of what he did? I need answers
In this chapter, Shin doesn’t need a trigger to leap to the past, but in the end Takemichi didn’t either when he was pushed under the train and went back in 2005. He needed Naoto to come back in 2017 tho, after talking with him. Idk, from this chapter it seems Haru may be the trigger (idk of course, maybe the fact it makes me think about it means it’s too easy and the trigger will be someone else) : maybe in “our timeline”, future!Shin informed Haru about Mikey’s terrible fate (in between the scenes, we never saw them interact “on screen” in ch.241), he believed Shin so he decided he would have done anything to help Mikey. That's why he was happy when Mikey attacked him: the toy was broken and this meant Mikey was safe right? Also, too bad that, apparently, that was the first time the “dark impulses” manifested.  Probably Shin realized something was wrong. But this is too much theory with no evidence, I want to see what actually happened lol
Furthermore, we know that Mikey attacking Haru was Senju’s POV, so something else may have happened. 
Idk, too many questions but everything is so interesting, I’m excited to learn more and  more!
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potteresque-ire · 3 years ago
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This post is Part 5 of the five-part meta series on the Zhang Zhehan (張哲瀚) Incident, based on what has transpired up to 2021/08/22.
1) The 2nd Sino-Japanese War (1937-45) & the Yasukuni Shrine 2) Post-War Sino-Japanese Relations; “Every Chinese should visit the Yasukuni Shrine” 3) The Summer of 2021: The Brewing Storms for One 4) My Thoughts on Zhang’s Incident, Part A 5) My Thoughts on Zhang’s Incident, Part B
5) My Thoughts on Zhang’s Incident, Part B
As a highlight to the mob nature leading to Zhang’s downfall, please consider the timeline immediately before and after Zhang’s losing his endorsements on August 13th (or, why August 13th really mattered):
August 12th, evening: Zhang’s 2019 attendance of a wedding at the Nogi Shrine (乃木神社) went on Weibo hot search, and into public awareness. The Nogi Shrine (乃木神社) is of far less fame than the Yasukuni Shrine, but was named after a Japanese general of the Imperialist Japanese Army who was also the governor-general of then colonial Taiwan.
August 13th, ~ 2 am: netizens uncovered photos of Zhang’s 2018 visit to the Yasukuni Shrine, which were spread onto Weibo and made the hot search.
August 13th, 1:39 pm: Zhang posted his first letter of apology that began with: “Today, I’m ashamed of my once ignorant self, and furthermore, wants to apologise deeply for my past inappropriate behaviour.” (今天我為曾經無知的自己而羞愧,更要對之前不當行為深刻地道歉。)
August 13th, 2 pm: Nabuo Kishi, Japan’s current Minister of Defence, and a right-wing member of the House of Representative, Yasutoshi Nishimura, made an un-announced visit to the Yasukuni Shrine. The date was 2 days earlier than the 76th anniversary of Emperor Hirohito’s surrender speech (August 15th), as customary for Japanese officials to avoid visiting the shrine on significant anniversary dates of the war.
August 13th, 4:39 pm: People’s Daily (人民日報) published an online critique of Zhang’s apology. “… As a public figure, to be so lacking in historical knowledge, so unfeeling towards the suffering of the nation, it’s too inappropriate. On matters of righteousness of the nation, testing is not permissible, challenges are definitely not permissible. If knowingly committed, one would pay a heavy price.”  (。。。身為公眾人���,對歷史常識如此匱乏,對民族苦難渾然不覺,太不應該。事關民族大義,不容任何試探,更不容有任何挑戰。若明知故犯,就得付出沈重代價。)
August 13th, 5:05 pm: CCTV News (央視新聞) posted the video of Nabuo Kishi’s visit to the Yasukuni Shrine.
August 13th, 5:33: Zhang was dropped from his first endorsement. He would be dropped by all 27 of them within the next 5 hours.
August 13th, 5:35 pm: Zhang responded to People’s Daily’s critique piece, stating he shall repent and learn his lesson, and that as a Chinese, he loves his country and the CCP.
August 13th, ~6 pm: S. Korean news reported that the Korean Ministry of Foreign Affairs had summoned the Japanese ambassador in Korea to protest the visit of the Japanese Defence Minister to the Yasukuni Shrine.
August 13th, 6:26 pm: CCTV News (央視新聞) critiqued Zhang’s apology. “Whether to take photos in front of the Yasukuni Shrine, or to attend a wedding at the Nogi Shrine, Zhang Zhehan touched the wounds of history, hurt the feelings of the nation. It cannot be blamed on “once ignorance.” Just now, a Japanese Minister went to the Yasukuni Shrine for “demon worshipping” (Pie note: demon, from guizi 鬼子), China firmly opposes to this wrongdoing of Japanese high officials…” (無論在靖國神社前合影,還是到乃木神社參加婚禮,張哲瀚都觸碰了歷史傷痕,傷害了民族感情,不能簡單歸咎為「曾經無知」。就在剛剛,有日本大臣到靖國神社「拜鬼」,中方堅決反對日本政要這種錯誤做法。。。)
August 13th, 9 pm: China’s Ministry of National Defence answered press questions regarding the Yasukuni Shrine visit by Nabuo Kishi and Yasutoshi Nishimura.
Not only did Zhang’s incident happened in August, 2021, it happened on pretty much the worst day for him in August, 2021; the latest of his incident interleaved the unfolding news of the Japanese high officials’ visit to the Yasukuni Shrine.
What I’d like to call attention to, however, is this: Zhang’s endorsements didn’t begin dropping until *after* People’s Daily criticism.
If the companies had been genuinely offended by Zhang’s action, why was the wait necessary? If their Chinese feelings were genuinely hurt, why hadn’t they moved earlier, in the morning of August 13th, when Zhang’s visit went on hot search? Were these companies also ignorant about history, the significance of the the Yasukuni Shrine? The Chinese government has far more important things to worry about than an idol, but what about these companies that had paid good money for their spokesperson? That watch the public opinion, the market carefully?
Even if they didn’t care about the war themselves, why hadn’t they dropped Zhang based on the expected public opinion? What does that say about what these market experts believed, or knew about the public opinion? What does that say about their assessment of whether their potential customers would, as their actual selves, stop spending money on their products because of Zhang’s Yasukuni Shrine visit?
Were the act of dropping Zhang, then, more an act of performative patriotism than anything else? Once the first company started, the rest raced to follow for fear of being the slowest one, viewed as the least patriotic one. Hence, the 5-hour storm of endorsements abandoning Zhang. This herd ... mob behaviour, in which actions were either not taken or all taken at the same time, was also observed in the timing of different online platforms removing Zhang’s works, and fandom content with his name.
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A “bingo card” for netizens to cross out Zhang’s endorsements as the sequential drops happened. Similar cards for Kris Wu had circulated in July. 
Were WoH and Zhang’s other group projects removed because Zhang was unpatriotic, or was it because the online platforms (and the tech giants behind them) were trying to protect themselves? Youku explained WoH’s first-time removal as a technical glitch but then, as reports of other platforms removing Zhang’s content poured in, the series was removed again.  
How much is real when it comes to the thunderous online declarations of love and betrayal against China? 
Related to this: turtles may remember the Xinjiang cotton incident in March, 2021, how Chinese netizens harassed anyone who used, endorsed Nike. One may assume, with that outcry, that rage, that anyone with a reputation to keep, with ties to the Chinese state, in particular, have severed their ties with the brand.
As it turns out, the teams of the Chinese Super (Football) League, for example, have kept their Nike kits. The Chinese Football Association (CFA), which, despite being officially non-governmental and nonprofit, is managed by the State General Administration of Sports (國家體育總局), issued a statement on March 27th on Weibo that only criticised Nike’s “wrong actions in choosing its cotton source” (對耐克公司在棉花原料選擇上的錯誤行徑表達了譴責), and reserved “its right to further deal with  contract with Nike” (保留進一步處理同耐克合同的權力). It never cut off the contract with Nike: a 10-year sponsorship,  signed in 2018, which amounts to 3 million RMB (463,000 USD) in funds from Nike for each football club every year. The CFA statement was later removed from Weibo. Photos of the football players have simply had the Nike Swoosh covered up, or photoshopped away. 
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Photos from the Shanghai Shenhua football club, with and without the swoosh (Source).
Life is practical in China … and darkly humorous, at times. As a Mao-founded regime should be, perhaps.
I got Asks wondering then: will our non-Zhang-related favourite stars and CPs, dramas and fandoms get affected by the incident?
At the moment, my guess leans towards a no. My basis is this: in the critique piece against Zhang, published on 2021/08/16, by 中纪委 Central Commission for Discipline Inspection—the CCDI, by the way, is the highest anti-corruption, rules and regulations body in China��I believe the reason Zhang was disciplined was clearly stated:
對於所有「拜鬼」行為,中國都堅決反對。但如果我們國內的公眾人物去靖國神社都不被譴責和追究,我們又怎麼挺直腰桿要求外國人不去呢?
“Regarding all “demon worship” behaviour, China holds firm oppositions. But if our own public figures going to the Yasukuni Shrine get no reprimands, no investigations of responsibility, how can we straighten our backs and demand foreigners to not go?”
This has led me to think the state has no ulterior motives in targeting Zhang: Zhang’s “sin” was limited to his visiting the Yasukuni Shrine as a well-known, public figure, and/but that was enough. And the punishment had to be given in a heavy-handed, high profile manner, given the “news “of Zhang’s visit broke out on August 13, 2021. The following observation may be my being over-sensitive, but in the timeline above, Zhang was reprimanded, and his first round of the punishment in full swing (dropping of endorsements), before the China’s Ministry of National Defence talked to the press, which happened later than it had to be (compare the timing with S. Korea’s). Short of removing Zhang’s hot searches—which netizens would’ve noticed—this ordering of events was necessary; otherwise, the Chinese government issuing a formal complaint against Japan for their Minister of Defence’s visit to the shrine would’ve co-existed on the hot search with the report of China’s own celebrity visiting the same place. I therefore believe the state’s reaction had nothing to do with how Zhang achieved his fame, the past and present projects he was involved in, the CPs he was coupled with. Other state agencies and media would likely be careful about not attaching these topics to Zhang’s case as well, so not to distract from the central message of the government that … the Japanese are very bad people in the summer of 2021.
(Whether they’ll attach them to the Clear and Bright campaign is another matter.) 
Another Ask ~ Will Zhang be able to make a comeback? In five years? Ten?
Looking that far ahead is difficult, but one thing has to happen for Zhang to return—the Japanese have to stop being very bad people according to the Chinese government, which isn’t likely to happen soon. The Japanese government has shown few signs that they shall soon revise their attitudes towards their World War II history  (Yasutoshi Nishimura, who went to the Shrine with Japan’s Minister of Defence on August 13th, is associated with a historical revisionist group), while China’s escalating military aggression in the Indo-Pacific region will be seen as a growing threat to Japan, likely push the country towards the right. 
And 5, 10 years later, Zhang will be 35, 40 years old. Even if he’ll be able to work in the industry again, it’ll be difficult for him to achieve the fame he has before. Also, just because the government no longer bans him doesn’t mean production companies will be willing to hire him; he’ll be considered high risk—policies of China are volatile, after all, and the decision to un-ban can be easily reversed.
(I’m so sorry, Anon, I wish I have a better answer for you.)
And... here’s a thought I’ll finally end this meta series with. I don’t see Zhang as the only loser in this incident. I don’t really see any winners in this incident at all. An industry is dangerous for its every worker if its narrative, its list of guilty is penned by cyber mobs and in the name of patriotism; if the accused cannot speak for themselves, aren’t allowed to grow; if its rules of appropriate conduct are every-changing (The Reporter in 2017 = OK; Zhang in 2018 = Not OK); if its workers are penalised not by their own deeds but their associations (the rest of the cast and production team of WoH and other Zhang-associated projects).
The think tank for the National Ratio and Television Authority (國家廣播電視總局; NRTA, ie, the Chinese visual media censorship board), in their criticism piece about Zhang, hinted at even rougher waters ahead, in light of Zhang’s (and Kris Wu’s) transgressions:
明星頻頻「犯事」,說到底還是行業內對明星藝德約束不夠嚴格。據瞭解,電影行業正在籌備全國電影界道德委員會,將對電影從業人員道德規範提出更高要求,並提出,要將明星藝德納入法治化的軌道中來,給明星藝德約束加一道法規之鎖,明確明星的責任和義務,將明星的個人行為與職業利益掛鈎。 “The ultimate cause of stars “getting into trouble” frequently is that the industry has not tied a sufficiently severe bind on the stars’ artistic virtue (Pie note: roughly, = professional ethics). Based on reports, the film industry is preparing a National Film Industry Morality Committee that shall raise the moral requirements for film industry workers. The industry has also suggested that the stars’ artistic virtue shall eventually be governed by laws, to add a lock of legality to the bind of artistic virtues for the stars, to make clear the stars’ responsibilities and obligations, to couple a star’s personal behaviour with their professional (monetary) gains.”
My interpretation of this: should the suggestions become reality, it shall be written in future film contracts that a star who commits an act that the state considers immoral will have to pay the investors the production cost of their projects, and possibly, the projected profit. 
To put some dollar signs to this interpretation: a high-profile star may work on one or more projects with a price tag in the order of 100 million RMB (~15 million USD); box office, merchandise sells, and long term profits expected from online streaming can raise that number by several fold. This is a sum that even the most affluent stars will have a difficult time affording—and that’s before considering the endorsements, for which current contracts already require the stars to pay the damages.
The key word here is that the offending act only has to be considered immoral, not criminal. Immoral acts range from not liking the CCP enough—an easy-to-understand offence—to deviation from the society’s 公序良俗 (“public order and fine customs”), which includes just about anything that disagrees with the state-defined mainstream values.
Stars are stars because they invite the imaginations of their audience, because they break boundaries: from the seemingly insurmountable humdrum of daily life, to something that can be much, much more.
Stars should, of course, be law-abiding; they should be patriotic. But a star who’s mainstream in every way? Are they still a star, something we regular people wonder about, dream upon?
Bind and lock, the NRTA think tank referred to these suggestions. It reminders me of a quote by the famous Chinese director, Feng Xiaogang (馮小剛), who, in 2014, complained to BBC—perhaps in a slip of tongue—that Chinese directors could be like “dancing with fetters” (戴著腳鐐去跳舞) when working with the country’s censorship system.
Yeah. It’s kinda like that.
===
The Zhang Zhehan Incident Meta Series:
PART 1  PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 <- YOU ARE HERE
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funkymbtifiction · 3 years ago
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Some real talk on Fi: a submission
 I’ve noticed a Fi-bias on the internet. It tends to glamorise Fi as this lofty, Wonder Woman function that somehow epitomises all that’s principled and good. I just read a PersonalityCafe thread listing the flaws of Fi and Fe. While Fe got blasted as manipulative, mindlessly conformist, and even psychopathic at worst, Fi got an easy pass with stuff like ‘refuses to go along just to keep the peace’ ‘cannot lie’ ‘cannot be persuaded to compromise its ideals’ etc. I laughed because these were clearly flattering ‘cute flaw’ descriptions. Like when a job interviewer asks you, ‘What’s your greatest weakness?’ and you say, ‘I work too hard!’ Cute flaw. Your interviewer will roll their eyes because your words will come off as self-flattery in the guise of critique. Saying that the flaw of Fi is ‘I won’t conform to stupid things! I’m too idealistic and principled!’ is not real talk.
Real talk is actual, hurtful, ugly flaws that make you go ‘Well, shit.’
As an INFP, I know what high Fi is like at its worst. It’s not cute. Let me share a story.
Last summer, my mum was diagnosed with cancer. All my friends were kind. But I felt a great gulf from my fellow high Fi-users because…none of them had gone through bereavement or family illness themselves. They could offer empathy or care on the surface, but I could always sense the gulf when they spoke. It was ‘I’m sorry to hear that’ and ‘I hope she gets better soon’ but - a patently obvious void within, an absence of deeper feeling. Fe users get a lot of crap for being ‘fake’, but have you ever heard a Fi mouth a platitude about something when they cannot relate their own experience or their own selves back to it?
Oh, they were kind, but their high Fi pulled them inextricably into their own inner universe. They were certainly willing to help, but ultimately their inner world was drenched with them (who am I? what am I here for? Me, mine, my). I know that inner radio - I have it myself. It blares away all the darn time! When I talked to them, I always walked away feeling more alone. Oh, of course they were sympathetic, but on a more fundamental level, their world was self-preoccupied (‘my musings, my ideals, my identity’). My grief felt lonely and cold after being in their presence. Some of the more tactless ones couldn’t help but explicate how my words fed their own inner world (‘This makes me think of my relationship with my family’/‘That makes me think of my mortality’).
It hurt like hell.
Told ya this story wasn’t pretty. This isn’t about the ‘cute flaws’ Fi usually basks in on the internet.
Let’s talk Fe. A common internet myth (one which walks hand in hand with Fi’s badass edgelord image) is that Fe’s just a people-pleaser, a PR manager, a nosy teacher, the function-equivalent of a mom elbowing her kids to say hello to the guests. Right?
Nah. Fe can be blazing warmth. Fe can be heartfelt. Fe can be passionate compassion. My isolation only lifted when I met a healthy Fe-user, Margo. Margo cared about my mom because – she just did. She didn’t need to know what it was like to experience her own mom ill. She didn’t need to have met my mom. Margo didn’t need to tie my experience back to who Margo was or what Margo stood for – heck, it wasn’t about Margo at all. She just sat on my bed and asked me questions about the colour of my mom’s eyes and where my mom went to school and gosh-where-did-your-mom-get-her-grit-from and something magical happened:
I felt warm.
I felt warm because I looked into that girl’s eyes and I could feel the care emanating from her. Over the next six months, Margo called me to ask how surgery appointments went; she looked through album photos with me; she texted me memes she said reminded her of my mom. And nah, Margo wasn’t an Enneagram 2. She just cared.
Now, Fi users can do all of these things. But what was different about Margo’s healthy Fe is that on a fundamental level, she had the capacity to care deeply about something and someone that she had never had any personal experience with. And her feelings did not centre herself or her life. It was about my mom.
It was the most comforting thing I could have received.
Now, this is not a Fi vs Fe post (for heaven’s sake, I’m a badge-carrying INFP myself). It is an attempt to go beyond the usual caricatures of independent warrior vs tyrant manipulator when we talk of Fi and Fe. To my fellow high Fi-users: not all our flaws are cute. Sure, we’re allowed to say we’re fierce free spirits; we’re allowed to say we refuse to compromise. Just remember to include stuff that doesn’t make us sound like the Justice League. We have flaws that are not cute and not glamorous and actually pretty unpleasant and hurtful for others. We may make things all about ourselves when someone else is suffering. We may not have room for someone else’s pain. We may project our own experience on someone else rather than making space for them. We may not make someone feel truly seen and heard. We may hurt someone through our self-absorption.
We are amazing, but sometimes….we need to learn to get ourselves out of the way.
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feanorianethicsdepartment · 3 years ago
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time travel aus, amirite? since we’ve all decided to start talking about our ideas, i thought i’d throw my hat into the ring. i’ve actually had this idea for a while, i just wasn’t sure what to do with it because i barely have the patience for one-shots, let alone the continuous plotted longfic this would need
it’s not my idea, of course, i’m incapable of original thought. it’s based off this can-i-really-call-it-a-genre-if-it’s-two-fics-with-the-same-premise where some combination of maedhros, maglor, elros, and elrond land in the blessed realm before - even the unchaining, in my take, when the ambarussa are still children and the world is blissful. it’s more specifically my take on this fic, which takes elrond and elros from very early in their captivity and maedhros from just before the silmaril theft and maglor from several centuries into the second age. i just plugged my own characterisations into it, and, uh. the specific setup this not-genre uses is that maitimo and makalaurë *~mysteriously disappear,~* throwing their extended family into chaos, blah blah blah, and then a few decades later -
well. with my characterisations, we have a nightmare hellbeast who’s burned up everything he used to be in singular pursuit of an unreachable goal and has carved his very self into a weapon, a completely drained beaten-up husk barely cognisant of reality past the screaming in his mind who’s so utterly broken it’s debatable if he even counts as an elda, and two extremely young extremely traumatised children in a completely unfamiliar land- and skyscape whose only adult they can maybe-kind-of trust is currently bleeding from the eyes and shrieking wordless notes of utter despair
yeah, this au’s Fun. elrond and elros have maybe eight words of quenya between them, most of which are obscene, maedhros will act completely normal until he suddenly stabs himself in the arm because can’t this stupid hallucination end already, he has a character arc to tank, and maglor seems completely unaware he’s not still on the beach having the same cyclic arguments with the ghosts of the people he failed. the elves of valinor aren’t completely unprepared to deal with this, at least not the ones who remember cuiviénen, but it’s still a massive shock to see two of the children they came to the land of the gods to protect twisted and scarred like the worst victims of the dark. especially since noone can figure out why
so yeah. i have trouble finishing oneshot collections, so i doubt i’ll ever write this out in full, but i do have a lot of Scenes. fëanáro staring in utter horror at the oath, whispering ‘i made this.’ elros and elrond’s somewhat hole-filled explanation of their backstory devolving into a sindarin argument, and when the family asks tyelkormo what they’re talking about he freezes before saying ‘they’re arguing about whether maitimo killed their mother.’ the moment maglor finally managed to get through what happened after they got the silmarils to maedhros, who immediately switches from off-the-cuff self-harm to well-planned suicide attempts. the five-minute period the family hellspawn’s working theory was ‘they’re maitimo and makalaurë from an alternate universe where we’re evil’ (‘is there an evil version of me??? does he eat kids???????’ - tyelko) finwë going full bulldoze taniquetil in the background. fun times, might write some snippets in the future
but i like to think through the mechanics of this kind of time travel story too much, so i started wondering where maitimo and makalaurë, yanno, went. i quickly came to the conclusion that they probably swapped places with their evil future selves, giving me three time travel aus for the price of one! technically four but (a) i’m not sure if or with who the twins would swap and (b) if they did their alternate selves are probably having a really bad time and i don’t particularly want to think about it. the stories maitimo and makalaurë are in... they’re not necessarily any happier, but they are a lot more wtftastic
maitimo falls asleep under the light of the trees, on a relaxing retreat from the demands of court life and family-induced disasters. he wakes up in a world that’s almost completely dark, surrounded by plants he’s never seen before and wearing clothing designed for a much warmer climate, the scent of death in the air. now permanently separated from all his old problems, maitimo rapidly acquires several exciting new ones, including but not limited to:
everyone he ever loved being dead or worse
the lone possible exception, his last surviving little brother, being an almost unrecognisable blood-drenched kinslayer who hates everything in the universe especially himself
said blood-drenched kinslayer almost immediately imprinting on him like a grouchy murderous duckling
his future self having apparently wanted to kill even more people, why
getting dogpiled by like thirty dudes in full armour the instant they showed up at the army of the west’s camp to surrender
getting soul-scanned by eönw two minutes later. not fun
arafinwë pulling him into an enormous hug and then bursting into tears
the subsequent explanation as to just what happened to him and his brothers, which somehow got worse after he’d already thought they’d hit rock bottom like four separate times
proceeding to lose a staring contest with findaráto
the way everyone in camp looks at him like he’s an incredibly dangerous wild animal that might bite at any time
how if half of what arafinwë said is true he can’t even blame them, fuck, fuck
the twin half-elven(?????????????) princes he and his brother apparently kidnapped and held hostage for years, inflicting unimaginable cruelties as far as anyone knows
his first meeting with the kids happening when elrond broke into where they were holding maglor to scream at him in very loud very fast very angry sindarin for like half an hour
maglor just staring at him, eyes wide, ears pinned back, the whole time, and then trying to maul the first guard who mocked him for it
getting saddled with kinslayer containment duties in the aftermath of that whole incident
elrond punching him in the collarbone when he tried to apologise, shouting ‘you weren’t there, don’t you dare try to tell me what it was like’
elros’ visible half second of pure terror after the blow hit home
elros then using recognisable techniques from maitimo’s debate team circuit during a speech to the edain
like, clearly some shit did happen, but it’s obviously not what the local leadership’s afraid of
this sour-faced scar-covered warrior slipping out of the shadows in an unpopulated part of camp, kneeling before him, intoning ‘the swords of the host remain at your disposal my lord’ and then immediately vanishing
he didn’t recognise them until after they’d left but they were definitely one of his philosophy club friends, what even
just generally having woken up in a future a thousand times worse than his darkest nightmares
his natural instinct is to try and fix things, but how?? what’s even left to fix????
maglor sometimes goes into these unhinged desperate spiralling rambles directed at the older brother who exists in his head rather than the one in front of his eyes. whatever’s left of maitimo’s biggest little brother is clearly in so much pain
all the things he’s trying extremely hard not to think about because if he slows down enough to he’s pretty sure he’ll collapse
all the people he’s never met who hate him for pretty understandable reasons and whose social structure he now has to learn to have any hope of making it out of All This
the edain’s collective insistence on calling him pasthros
curufinwë isn’t even a hundred how does he have a kid
makalaurë, on the other hand, wakes up on a beach beneath a giant glowing orb. finding himself in a land so much barer than what he knows, among people whose souls don’t even work like his, his initial working theory is he’s been abducted by aliens
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ficsandgiggles · 4 years ago
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Sucky
Happy Halloween friends! Have a safe and spooky time and enjoy this fic with Sam, Bucky, Peter and Reader! 💕
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That was it, the trap had been set. Y/N and Peter were ready for absolute chaos to ensue after you had planned to scare Bucky and Sam as payback for sneaking under your beds at 3am and suddenly shoving at the mattresses, sending the two of you flying. To make things worse, they dressed themselves up as ghouls to confuse and frighten your sleepy selves more.
Y/N and Peter had been planning this for a few days now, and they were excited to pull it off. The first part of the prank was to coax Bucky and Sam into the same room, so Y/N just baked some of their classic chocolate chip cookies, ensuring the delicious smell wafted in the direction of the lounge, where Bucky and Sam were chilling.
Next, Peter pulled a string which was connected to the door lock to lock them in. The two of them were hiding under a table covered by a huge cloth, so they weren’t noticeable.
“What the hell was that?” Sam asked as he and Bucky turned to the sound of the door locking. Part one was officially complete, the next step was the remote controlled doll which casually cycled in front of the pair. The creepy doll stared at them, then Y/N hit play on their phone, which blasted childish laughter through the speakers.
“Alright punks, come out from wherever you’re hiding.” Bucky had finally figured out who was behind the prank, but his still motion made the two teens struggle to hold in their laughter. Y/N nodded at Peter, who pressed another button. Shrieks were heard as two buckets of ice cold water poured over Sam and Bucky.
Y/N and Peter made their final move, they snuck out from under the table and put their ghoul hoods up before sneaking behind up behind the pair and clawing down their backs, letting out ear piercing screeches as they did so.
Sam jumped away with a yelp, he turned around to see that Bucky had already pinned Y/N down after he jumped out of his skin. He had pinned them down by sitting on their waist and pinning their hands down with his knees.
Bucky turned around and looked at Sam, nodding in Peter’s direction. He immediately caught on and chased Peter around for a bit before he managed to tackle him to the floor, pinning him in the same way.
“You two are such punks.” Bucky growled, looking down at the two teens with a playful glare. “I can’t believe you’d have the nerve to get revenge after we pranked you! I think we need to get our own back.” He told them as he looked at Sam, giving him a smirk so he understood his mission.
Y/N and Peter gave each other a look of fear, knowing you both screwed up big time    now since Bucky and Sam were about tickle the daylights out of the two, and they knew how to get them both laughing until they were begging for mercy.
“Okay, I’m gonna give you a countdown... three, two...” of course, Bucky stopped the countdown early to shake his fingers in between Y/N’s ribs. He grinned at the giggling kid underneath him, knowing that the sudden surprise would make the feeling a million times worse.
Y/N looked over to see Peter screeching with giggles, Sam was currently going for the worst spot on Peter’s body, his armpits. Just simple pokes can be more than enough to get him squealing. Peter’s face was scrunched up so he couldn’t see Y/N smiling fondly at him through their giggles.
“You’re definitely not laughing enough, like your good friend here. Where’s that giggle spot, hm?” Bucky asked with a teasing smirk, holding his wriggling fingers over Y/N before squeezing into their thighs, ensuring his thumbs really dug into into a sensitive spot on their inner thigh to really them squeal.
“That’s more like it.” He grinned cheekily, leaning down to nuzzle his beard into their neck to add to the torture as Sam now had Peter’s top shoved up, blowing multiple raspberries into the soft stomach whilst his fingers dug into his ribs.
“You two learnt your lesson yet? Huh?” Sam growled playfully to the two of them, reaching over to squeeze Y/N’s side, making their eyes widen as they squealed with giggles. “Whahahatever Sahahaham!” They replied, leaning away from his hand, and straight into Bucky’s metal one, which shook into their other side.
“Thought you could get away with that, huh?” Bucky grinned down at them, cheekily poking his tongue out whilst he watched them squirm and squeal helplessly. Y/N nodded in response, still giggling and pulling desperately at their hands.
“Alright Buck, we better stop in a mo, the Spider-Kid is about to laugh himself to death.” Sam told Bucky as he shook his hand into Peter’s belly one more time before letting the exhausted teen go. Peter blushed, still giggling as he curled up, clearly learning his lesson.
“What about you, Y/N? You sorry?” Sam asked, shaking his fingers into the sole of one of their feet, which made Y/N squeal in surprise, not seeing him since there was a Bucky in the way.
“YEHEHEHEHES!” They yelped, squealing with laughter as Sam quickly got off them, quickly followed by Bucky, after a neck raspberry of course.
Sam and Bucky chuckled as they stood up, going to walk away. But Bucky turned around, winking at Y/N and Peter.
“Happy Halloween, punks,  and GG, as the youths of today would say. But never challenge the two prank champions.” He grinned before leaving the two of them to recover and take in their lesson to not prank them again.
Peter turned to Y/N, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, their team name is Sucky.” He mumbled, making Y/N burst into giggles.
“I am so calling them that from now on, Sucky.” They giggled, but what they didn’t realise, was that Bucky and Sam were stood by the doorway, ready to teach them another lesson.
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fandomsilhouette · 4 years ago
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we’ll have (a devil of a time)
Felix throws a wrench in Lila’s meticulous planning when he refuses to be wooed by grandiose tales of adventure and daring, when he refuses to give away any hint of what she might lie about to get his attention. Somehow, this leads to Marinette shaking hands with all the wrong (right) people. 
Happy @felixmonth, y’all! 
This new kid, this Felix, is never going to fit in. Everyone can see it the moment he steps through the door on that first day, black suit and scowl in tow, and slouches into the seat at the back of the class next to Chloe, prim and proper, glowering all the while. He catches Lila’s eye immediately, with his tangible air of wealth and power, the sheer amount of usefulness he seems to hold in his brooding body. 
Of course, her interest lasts exactly as long as it takes for Felix to make it very clear that he has absolutely no interest in her, no matter how much she lies or cajoles him into joining the rest of the class. 
“Hey, Felix!” She starts by sidling up to him, turns on the charm she thinks she has. She’s got him pegged, she’s sure of it: a pretty boy like that, all dark and mysterious, has got to want space to be sensitive and vulnerable. He longs to be their friend, and Lila knows it. All she has to do is give him a chance. 
Then he immediately declines her exclusive invite to the Winter Social After-Party (hosted by her, of course), leaving the split halves of her invitation to flutter pathetically to the ground.
“I prefer to spend my time with people of consequence, thanks.”
Just like that, Lila is left scrambling to piece together the torn shreds of her plan. Alright, then. If he won’t be friends with her, he won’t be friends with anyone. 
She lets her gaggle of admirers reassure her over and over that “He was so mean to you, Lila! How could he say such a thing?”, that of course she doesn’t have to associate with a bully (no matter how sweet and generous and self-sacrificing she is, oh!), Lila makes it her business to meticulously bar Felix from each and every social circle she can manage. 
Irritatingly, this suits Felix just fine. He sits at the back of the class every day next to Chloe, making it seem like the back was something to choose instead of somewhere that the lowest echelons of the class, the dregs of society, were banished to. 
Marinette has gotten used to watching the back. She could be exiled at any moment, after all. So she’s seen the way Chloe doesn’t cling to Felix and heard the way Lila and Alya whisper snide comments from their seats next to her just quietly enough that she can’t hear without asking, watched them stiffen and shush on the occasion Felix walks by their table. A slight nervous fidget. A muttered “speak of the devil.” 
Marinette knows that associating with Felix is a social death sentence. She also knows that he makes Lila uncomfortable, off balance. Most of all, she knows that her own social life is hanging by a thread. Marinette is done waiting for someone else to cut the string and send her crashing. Her life is not meant to be waiting for someone else’s choices. 
She finds him at lunch at the backmost table by the trash cans, the table of outcasts and degenerates, lounging in the shade of a tree. Sunlight filters through the leaves, casting him a mottled medley of light and darkness until a cloud passes overhead and sends his features into shadow. He picks at his plate, a vulture seeking a soft patch of flesh.
“Hey.” 
He looks up, but not directly at her. He doesn’t respond. The fork hangs suspended a little above the plate.
“I’m Marinette. You’re Felix, right? I know Lila’s turned the class against you, and that’s pretty rough. I’ve been there. I’m actually still kind of there. I know you already have Chloe, I’d like to be your friend too.” She sits opposite him and begins eating with an air of determined purpose. He waits a long moment. 
“I don’t need friends.” He spits at last. 
Marinette pauses between bites. “Let me be clear. I’m not giving you a choice about this. Call it a partnership if you want, a merger of interests, whatever. Lila is going to wreck you and you could do worse than to have someone who knows exactly what her game is working with you.”
“...I see. And what exactly do you know?” He goes back to eating, unconvinced and dripping with condescension. 
“You know Lila is lying, obviously. Do you know why?” 
“I know very well why.” He says, a sharp edge of arrogance entering into his voice “She makes people like her to get what she wants. I’ve known people like her.”
“And what does she want from you?”
“I’m rich.” 
“You’re cold. You’re standoffish and mean and an absolute prick. You’re an easy target to make her look good. She’s going to be out here doing her best to be your friend,” and she spits that word like a curse too, “and you’re going to ‘bully’ her, turn down her made up offers and snub her parties, and she’ll say it’s because you think you’re too good to hang out with them but of course she doesn’t think that! She wants to see the best in you! Until the rest of the class hates you, thinks you're the worst person on the planet for daring to breathe the same air as them.” 
He goes silent then, fork still frozen in the air as his knuckles grow bone-white on the gleaming metal. After a long moment, he adds “What do I care? This nobody school doesn’t matter to me, and neither does anyone in it...” He hesitates, glancing at the seat next to him, then returns with renewed vitriol. “What value does this have to me?”
Marinette scoffs. “You of all people should know better than that. We’re insanely well connected, didn’t you know? Rose is friends with Prince Ali. Juleka is in Kitty Section, which has been aired on TV. Adrien is… Adrien, and you already know Chloe. Alya runs the most popular superhero blog in Paris. And as much as I hate to brag, I’ve won competitions for Gabriel Agreste, I’ve worked with Jagged Stone and Clara Nightingale, I’m the costumer for Kitty Section, I’ve been on TV, and you’d better well take me seriously! You think these people won’t figure out who you care about and leave it in ruins for you to cry in the ashes of?! Just because they haven’t yet doesn’t mean they never will.” She hesitates. “You don’t know them like I do. They’re insanely loyal.” 
“Not to you,” he scoffs.
“That’s the problem.” 
Silence hangs thick in the air. At long last, gives a small, conciliatory nod. “I… see. Perhaps this could be a… profitable arrangement.”
Marinette gazes sardonically at him, as he begins to flounder with his hands, reaching out for a hug and then a handshake, shimmying awkwardly in place. She waits a moment, amused, then sticks her hand out for him to shake. 
He takes it. 
“This is what you were going for, right? It’s your signature move.” Her voice shifts suddenly into something playful and light, and Felix is knocked off balance. This is… different. 
He sputters. “It seemed… appropriate for our agreement, okay!” 
“It’s called a ‘friendship’, you know.” Marinette sticks out her tongue and winks. 
Felix blushes. “I wasn’t… I didn’t… it’s an unfamiliar phrasing… for me.” 
“I’ll help you get used to it,” she promises, “That’s what friends are for!”
He chuckles a bit, an uneasy, unpracticed sound. Marinette smiles, genuinely this time, and they settle in to eat in comfortable silence.
It becomes a familiar habit, an easy routine: Marinette joins Felix for lunch, jokes around and teases him until he’s bright pink and laughing, then slips away once Chloe makes an appearance. She waits for him after class on the days Chloe rushes off early, and finds herself walking home with him, the space between them shrinking each day.
Felix finds himself having parallel conversations, one snide and one almost curious, both vulnerable and resigned to losing the only friend they have left, offering their own selves up for sacrifice as if it would hurt less if they gave it freely instead of having it torn from them. 
“Why do you even hang out with her?” Chloe and Marinette both ask him. 
“You two are a lot alike, you know. You’d never see it in her, but you’re also not looking. You should.”
That’s all he’ll say about it, and they learn not to push. 
One day, Chloe shows up early, and Marinette is left scrambling to pull the leftovers of her lunch together, clumsier in her rush than she ever is. She sits down on the bench, shoving Marinette over and announcing that she’ll be “slumming it with the commoners, actually,” and won’t be eating at her hotel anymore. Her eyes look every direction but Marinette’s.
“Alright,” Felix responds placidly. He picks up his lunch and walks around the bench, settling back in next to Marinette. “Please don’t push my friends around, Chloe.” 
“Well, I--” Chloe is taken aback, hurt. “The rule has always been that she’ll leave when I show up! I’m here now, so she can shove right out of here, thanks.” 
Marinette sputters. “We had an agreement! You get half of lunch and all of class and it’s not like that’s less time than I get, and I was about to leave anyways but now I don’t think I will. Thanks.”
“He’s my friend! You and I both know he’s only tolerating you because of who you know,” and at that Chloe glances over to the rest of the class sprawled out on the grass, giggling over Lila’s latest fantasy adventure. 
Something like hellfire burns in Marinette’s chest and she swallows it down. 
“Fine. I’ll leave.” 
Felix moves faster than anyone, standing up and gathering her lunch in his arms, tucking it gently into her bag. He swings her backpack onto his arm, which looks wildly out of place with its cheerful pink against his dour grey vest, and then gently pulls her hand into his. 
“I’ll leave with you, Marinette.” 
Chloe gapes, eyes bulging, an ugly startled expression that Felix knows she isn’t faking. 
“You’re going to choose her over me?” For once her voice is quiet. 
“...I can’t let you pull me wherever you want, Chloe. Marinette is my fr-- my friend. Just like you are.” 
“Why not?!”
Marinette lets Felix pull her up, his arm wrapping around her waist, and then pauses uncomfortably, standing where she is. 
“...look. Do you want to just come with us? Felix keeps saying we’re alike. Maybe it’s time to find out why.” 
Chloe’s face contorted into an unpleasant grimace, as if she’d just swallowed the bitterest pill in the world and, grudgingly, came out the healthier for it.
“I… what are you doing, Marinette? We don’t like each other. That’s what we do.”
“...yeah, well.” Marinette glances over at the class again. “I could use another friend. Couldn’t you?” 
Felix grins. “Or a business partner!” 
“...I could manage business partners, probably.” Chloe smirks and Marinette smiles back when Chloe reaches out to shake her hand. 
“You two are so alike! It’s so cute that you’re getting along.” Lila’s saccharine voice cuts through their tentative conversation and sends them startling. Alya’s just a few steps behind her, scurrying to follow with Lila’s bag clutched in her arms. It would be worrying how much she looks like Sabrina, if Marinette still had it in her to care. Months of passive aggressiveness and constantly being in the wrong had taken its toll on her, and she was done. Isn’t that why she had sought out Felix to begin with? 
Felix is already helping her up again, pulling her up from the bench as Chloe storms up to Lila only to brush past her, shoving her shoulder into Lila’s chest. Alya catches sight of Felix’s arm around Marinette’s waist, and calls out. 
“You’re really going to make a deal with the devil, Marinette? Is that how low you’ve sunk?” Alya’s voice is uncharacteristically malicious. “You won’t be friends with Lila, you antagonize her, bully her, and now you’re befriending her bully? This is the person you want to be? Ugh. I can’t believe I ever thought you were worth being my friend.” 
Chloe pauses, halfway between the table and the door to the classroom, and spins around on her heel, snapping into place with a confident click. The old smirk is back now, given a new purpose.
“Actually, Alya Cesaire, you aren’t worth her friendship.”
Alya is frozen in something in the middle of furious and offended and gaping, humiliation shock, and Marinette is frozen right there with her. Hesitantly, gazing at Chloe in shock, she sidles a little closer to her. Chloe is still going.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I hate this goody two shoes queen of perfection, but you? Have you forgotten when she’s done for you? After all the terrible advice you’ve given her over the last year, I’d think you’d be on your knees begging her to stay. After all, isn’t she the one who helped you get an interview with Ladybug for your blog? No one had even heard of it until then. And she was the one that helped you go on dates with Nino while she babysat. She’s the one that brings you cookies every morning and coffee when you’re tired and lets you crash at her place. You think she should be waiting for you? Darling, you’ve gone and lost what little mind you had left. You have no idea what you’re pushing away.”
Marinette can’t figure out what has possessed Chloe, to say all these words in Marinette’s defense that have been burning a hole in Marinette’s chest for so long but have never quite found their way out. She doesn’t even know how Chloe knows all this. She gapes at Chloe in newfound admiration and awe, suddenly aware of how the same venom that Chloe had always drowned Marinette in can be used to pull her back up. 
Felix is getting impatient at the door, and Marinette slips her hand around Chloe’s wrist to pull her away. Chloe doesn’t stop, just redirects her attention to Marinette, flipping her ponytail back behind her like she’s dismissing Alya and Lila. 
“What. An. Idiot. You know?” 
Marinette gapes for a moment and then bursts into giggles. “You’re right!”
“Like, I don’t like you but at least I can recognize the value you have as a friend.”
Chloe determinedly doesn’t look at Marinette as she says it, and Marinette doesn’t respond for a long moment. When she does, she squeezes her hand still wrapped around Chloe’s wrist and goes quiet, soft, fond. 
“I like you too, Chloe. I’m glad we’re going to be friends now.” 
Felix grabs Marinette’s other hand as they get to the doors. 
“Business partners, huh?” 
Both girls stick their tongues out at him. 
Alya watches them leave, her hands crumpling into angry fists. She manages two furious, determined steps after them before Lila summons her back.
“Wait.”
She’s sitting at the table now, lounging across the seat like a traitor on a newly conquered throne. Alya turns back to her. Her mouth, gaping a moment ago, has hardened into a razor-tight line. 
“Let them go. They’re not worth you, Alya. They’re being bad friends. What was that you told me about Felix? You don’t have to associate yourself with bullies, right? C’mon. Let's have lunch!” She swings her legs back over and starts making her way over to the shaded grass under the trees, settling with her feet tucked under her. Lila stretches out a hand, nails manicured and neat, and waits until Alya takes it. 
Lila pulls Alya down, and grins with all her teeth bared.
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ernmark · 4 years ago
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The Heart of it All (pt 1) Reaction
Spoilers under the cut
The episode begins with a sound like a mechanical heartbeat, like an EKG. I like that.
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A year. A year timeskip since the last episode. Holy crap.
First of all, that’s a hell of a long engagement-- far longer than necessary, I think, and I think Vespa observed as much, too. Buddy’s putting off the big mission (and in turn, the wedding) because she’s scared of what comes next. I feel like she needs to have a conversation with Juno about that-- about running away from the things you want most because you’re scared, except she does it with more style.
I love the soft, gentle way Vespa talks to Buddy-- and the way she starts to babble when she gets excited-- and then when Buddy puts her off a little bit of that raw roughness creeps back in. I’d want to hug her if I didn’t think it would kill me.
Also, I love the montage of moments in between-- there’s plenty of room for fanfic in this year, no doubt about it. “Bad Cops 4: Guns Are Illegal, So They Use Swords Now”. Juno being pissy that they skipped his favorite in the series, the fact that Jet thinks car crashes are too violent but people getting murdered to death is totally hilarious. Rita calling Buddy “Mom”.
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The moment in privacy with her and Jet was really telling-- and not just the evidence of just how much of her is robotic. This is a side of her we just don’t see elsewhere. She’s fronting, she’s evasive, she laughs nervously and without that controlled glamour she always has. She’s never this vulnerable around anyone else, even Vespa. (And you can bet Vespa can sense that there’s something Buddy’s hiding from her, and a secret layer of rawness that she isn’t allowed to touch, and you can hear how much that hurts her). And for all this closeness, Jet still catches her off guard-- and he’s been picking up perceptiveness from Juno, which I love. 
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“Damn. She’s a quick one, that Buddy Aurinko. Ever a thorn in my side.” It’s telling just how many times we’ve dealt with our POV characters speaking of past and future selves as different people. It’s very much A Thing, and I want to see it manifested physically by the finale, because I’m obvious like that.
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One of the things that makes me really frustrated with Buddy is that by trying to protect Vespa, she’s making her more nervous. Vespa’s not an idiot, she knows something’s wrong-- but without Buddy to help her understand it, Vespa’s stuck trying to guess randomly, and her mental illness is going to supply all sorts of worst case scenarios that Buddy wouldn’t dream of.
And Vespa? Vespa fell from a hundreds-story building and lived. Do you really think she managed that without some really intensive self-surgery? It’s not impossible that she has some bionics of her own. And even if she doesn’t, do you really think she’s never worked with machines and bionic parts before? And if she hasn’t, don’t you think she of all people-- the assassin, the thief, the master medic-- would be able to figure something out? Or find someone who could? 
Buddy’s fear and pride are sabotaging her happiness. And that makes sense, because her pride is the first thing we knew about her. It’s one of her best features. Of course it would be her greatest flaw. 
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I love that Buddy has to write out her speeches ahead of time, and critiques herself for repeating lines even when nobody else can hear them both.
(And immediately I wonder what she’d have to say about how much I repeat myself, and immediately I can think of her reply: “Nonsense, dear. If there’s no room to improve then you’re doomed to get worse or go stale. Make your mistakes so you can learn from them and then go make some new ones.”)
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I find it so interesting that Buddy is impeccably organized and Peter is just a big ol’ mess-- to the point where you literally can’t tell whether his room is booby trapped or just that sloppy (And even if he is Just That Sloppy, who the fuck keeps an unsheathed knife just lying there, in the open? Really, Peter.)
(Also, I think it is official that all their “poetry readings”, “therapy sessions” and “whatever” happen in Juno’s room, at least after the first couple of weeks. What the fuck.)
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“Jet’s danger is nothing compared to what lies ahead”. 
In typical tiered dungeon story style, we’ve eliminated Rita (at the door) and Jet (upon being shot). 
That leaves theoretically three tasks for Vespa, Juno, and Peter. 
These three characters specifically are each love interests in a major established, endgame couple, which would ordinarily be a quick way to suss out who’s in which role.
Also, there’s a weird triangle of protagonist/antagonist going on here. Because Juno’s thwarted Vespa to protect Peter, but Vespa’s major gripe is with Peter, not Juno. And Juno believes and trusts Vespa, despite their bickering. And as much as he loves and trusts Peter, he has on multiple times arrested, thwarted, and called him out. 
It’s like this whole situation is designed to thwart trope-readers like me.
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My guess is that Vespa is going to have the be left behind/turn back at the end of this episode, when Buddy tells her the truth about her heart. That’ll leave Juno and Peter alone in the next chamber, when Juno finally confronts Peter about what he’s figured out thusfar (as the POV character, of course). 
Or Vespa runs back early to rescue Buddy from heart failure with Jet, gets furious with Buddy for keeping this Very Big Thing from her, and then goes back to Juno and Peter to finish the job in a seething (and possibly murderous) rage. 
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cosmic-navel-gazin · 4 years ago
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In which I chronicle my Legacy of Kain journey and bridge it with your boy Adam Warlock! (Part 5 of many, and MASSIVE, I MEAN, HUMOUNGOUS SPOILERS for Soul Reaver 2 and the 1970’s Warlock)
Awwwwwwwww yeah we are going there, these compositions are most definitely on purpose.
This is where I realize that my true purpose in this world is to draw and talk about obscure or forgotten works of fiction, and I embrace this destiny. 
Ladies and gents, laughing times are over (not really though), sh*t gets very real again.
I guess it’s a bit late for this but if you have even the slightest interest in checking any of these properties out, do yourself a favor and go experience them first hand. If you just want to see me lose my mind and don’t really care about spoilers then please, proceed.
You know, when I started this little crossover of sorts, I was just having a laugh you know? It was just a cute little thing, I’ll write this one post and maybe I’ll get enough material for a second one and that’s it. THIS IS THE SEVENTH POST (even though it says Part 5). 
Never, and I do mean never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be here one day, talking about having your past and your time-travelling-future selves meet and clash, of seeing your sanctimonious attitude and overall the worst about yourself personified and given free reign to go on bloodthirsty crusades showing off how much of a hypocrite you’ve bee- but wait, I am getting a bit ahead of myself. 
I’ll get there I promise, let’s go back a bit.
Where we last left off, we managed to travel back to an even more distant past than we’ve been before. To the time of the great Vampire Purge, so that Raziel can meet this infamous ancient vampire who knows all the lore and might have the answers we seek on what exactly is causing the corruption of our world.
As we step out into this era of History we notice the fields covered with the Sarafan Order banners, and the impaled corpses and chopped-off heads of vampires. No different no doubt from the kindness vampires showed mankind later when they gained the upper hand during Kain’s 1.000 year old reign. Raziel seems a bit distraught by the sight since he assumed the Sarafan to be virtuous and heroic:
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“For all the butchery of Moebius’s crusade, this massacre was somehow more chilling. The killing fields of the Sarafan betrayed a kind of orderly ruthlessness, the cold-blooded righteousness of the true believer.”
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“Here at last in the flesh, I beheld my former brothers-in-arms, the warrior-priests of the Sarafan order; their lives devoted solely to the annihilation of the vampire plague. And while I confess I felt a twinge of longing, a pang of grief for what I had believed was my lost virtue, I regarded them now with none of the reverence I formally felt. For I had seen the human face of the vampires, and now I beheld the monstrousness of these men.”
While on the topic of genocidal holy wars, my boy Adam here had a bit of a run with a similar pious little group that goes by the name of Universal Church of Truth, who were going about doing a bit of cleaning throughout the galaxy:
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Things don’t go so well:
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Interestingly enough, I’ve learned of a deleted cutscene for Soul Reaver 2 that plays out very similarly to Adam’s first encounter with this “holy” order. There was this minor female vampire character that was being hunted down and would be executed by vampire hunters right in front of Raziel.
This scene was probably removed because they knew that almost 20 years later there would be some asshole on the internet trying to compare their games to obscure marvel comics of the 70’s.
But yeah bummer for Adam here, we’re a couple of pages in and he’s already failed to save someone. However, through the power of the Soul Gem, he’s able to retain her soul for a brief moment, letting us know more about these holy inquisitors:
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Some of these methods don’t seem that far off from the Sarafan, especially on the twisting of good intentions part, but on a galactic scale:
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Aye, a great bunch o’ fellas all around, if you submit and “fit in”:
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Damn.
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Hush Adam, I’ll get back to your predicament give me a moment. I just want the good people at home to keep both this church and the Magus, the god they worship in mind for later.
Now, back to the game. In the Sarafan Stronghold during the first hour of gameplay, Raziel made comments on the vampire he’s currently seeking while looking at some stained glass depictions:
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“So this was the legendary Janos Audron - reputed to have been the most ancient and diabolical vampire to have ever existed. According to folklore, he lived high in the cliffs of Nosgoth’s northern mountains, and preyed mercilessly on the defenseless villagers below. His reign of terror ended when the Sarafan finally hunted him down and tore his throbbing heart from his still-living body. (…) But I wondered - could Janos Audron truly have been as monstrous as depicted here? Or was this merely artistic licence by the Sarafan, who sought to lionize themselves by demonizing their darkest enemy?
Keep these stained glass images in mind, they’ll also be important shortly. Neetheless to say, the hype was very real to meet this Janos Audron.
And as I kept hearing about this gentleman, I thought: “I really love this cast of pricks, where everyone speaks in half truths and is hiding something and has some hidden agenda, but you know, I kind of wish there was some slim ray of hope, of goodness and honor, just some good old plain chivalry and honesty. Maybe this Janos lad won’t be as bad as he was depicted back in the Sarafan Stronghold.” 
It took us a while but we’re finally make it to his retreat.
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I really love the entire segment, the hopelessness and feeling of dread while making your way through this place, probably my favourite puzzle area of the game.  I also really love the music and architecture here.
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When we do make it to the top, BOY OH BOY were my prayers answered!
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Lo and behold, enter Raziel’s new daddy/mentor figure, my man JANOS AUDRON! Proabably the one decent and kind creature I’ve seen yet in these games (if you don’t count helpless human npcs who are just trying to live their lives but are caught in all these wars, slaughter and destruction).
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FINALLY an understanding, moderate, compassionate man in the midst of all the lies and deception. I love him! Oh and he has what seems to be a Romanian accent. Maybe a nod to the granddaddy of all vampires: Dracula? I think his design is cool as well, so that helps.
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Before we go into huge lore dumps and while on the topic of having a brief father/mentor figure for your protagonist when he’s utterly lost, alone and confused, I thought I’d bridge it with Adam’s own once foster parent, the High Evolutionary:
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From the few minutes you get to know these dads they’re very different characters with different backstories and motivations. Janos is this sad lonely old man, the last of the ancient vampires and one who has been keeping himself alive solely for his sense of duty. 
While the High Evolutionary was once a man called Herbert Wyndham who performed an experiment that evolved him into a godlike being. This experience proved to be such an assault on his senses and perceptions that he chose to encase himself in this armour. Like the name suggests he is obsessed with genetic manipulation and tampering of various kinds, it is his life’s ambition. 
Despite his somewhat villainous appearance, he’s never portrayed as such from what little I’ve read, he’s just…a bit creepy. Like, he takes Adam in and is super stoked about adopting him, but he also values him not so much as a person per se as you and me would, but more as one would value an impressivly carved piece of work:
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I don’t know, maybe it’s his metal face that doesn’t emote much; his sometimes questionable morality; maybe it’s the fact that Adam was 5 years old at this point, a baby boy, and this pink armoured deity is super hyped about him; there’s something a bit unsettling about this guy. Have some more dubious quotes I’ve stumbled upon:
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All in all, I think he did care about him, in his own strange way:
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Anyway, what’s important is that these adoptive dads serve a somewhat similar purpose, and that is to push/urge our ”“”“"heroes”“”“” (I say with many quotation marks) into a more benevolant role: to guide them in their messianic mission and save a corrupted world. Basically there to provide a chance for them to be good boys. Up until now their track record leaves much to be desired, and they’ve been quite lost on what they’re supposed to be and do.
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Raziel:
“So it’s all true, then - what Kain and Vorador have told me - I really am some kind of unholy vampire messiah…”
Janos:
“Unholy? -no. Messiah… perhaps.”
Raziel:
“I don’t like that word - it smells of martyrdom.”
Janos:
“Raziel, your role in this world’s destiny is more crucial - and more benevolent - than you’ve allowed yourself to believe. Your journey will not be easy - dark powers are allied against you.”
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Oh and both dads give their sons their toys (Soul Reaver and Soul Gem):
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Back to the meeting with Janos, we finally learn tons of things, both new and others that have been hinted at throughout, namely:
Janos has been living a life of a recluse, alone, on top of the Aerie;
Janos knows of Raziel (some old legend I think) and has been waiting for him to hand him over the Soul Reaver, saying it is the key to save Nosgoth;
The Pillars of Nosgoth were erected by the ancient vampires and they were the rightful guardians. Janos was called to be th 10th guardian, the Keeper of the Reaver;
Over time this ancient race started to die out, with their history slowly being forgotten;
Humanity prospered and since the Pillars choose their guardians from birth and vampires were no longer born, humans were called to be their guardians but were “wholly ignorant of their true purpose.”
The Circle of human guardians is led to believe (by whom we do not yet know) that vampires are a cancer in the world. Janos warns that “with their vampire purge, the members of the Circle have assaulted the very architects of the Pillars they are sworn to protect (…) With every vampire they kill, the humans are slitting their own throats.”
Janos being a cool level-headed guy here when Raziel says he must hate mankind for all the suffering they’ve brought to him:
“They fear what they don’t understand; and they despise what they fear. But no - I do not hate them.”
I find it funny how Raziel asks if humanity should be forgiven for trying to exterminate the vampire kind and doesn’t realize that: one, he himself was exterminating vampires just a couple of moments ago back in SR1; and two, how he is just like how Janos describes humanity to be:
“They don’t understand what they’re doing. They are simply unenlightened… and vulnerable to manipulation.”
Again, this last line, completely unlike a certain blue shambling corpse I know. Not like him AT ALL.
Then, as they head inside, we learn something odd as Janos presents Raziel with the Reaver. You see, the two times Raziel has been close to the Soul Reaver still in its physical form, reality started to bend and distort (I show it off in this previous post). 
When we met Kain and decided not to kill him, he explained that when: “two incarnations of the blade meet in time and space, a paradox is  created, a temporal distortion powerful enough to derail history”
This distortion, or sense of displacement however, is nowhere to be found now when Janos presents the blade to him. Raziel feels nothing and says that “this nothingness is somehow worse…” and to get it away from him.
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We learn the Reaver was forged by the same ancient vampire race that erected the Pillars (which we’ve seen hinted at when we explored the land and came accross all sorts of old murals).
But now THIS is when the game first impales me through the heart.
Me and Janos are interrupted by the Sarafan warriors who arrive carrying Moebius’ Staff (which disables vampires to the point of being barely able to move at all).
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And of course! OF COURSE! Of course the moment my boy Raziel finds a truly positive influence in his life to guide and enlinghten him, and that was willing to put himself in danger in order to save him… he is axed! HEART RIPPED FROM HIS CHEST!
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And by whom you ask? Who would do such a deed and kill my last ray of hope?
WHY, ME! 
TWICE!
“Me” because I was the one to open an entrance to Janos’ up until then impenetrable retreat, and literally me: human Raziel of the Sarafan that lived during this time period and was head inquisitor!
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A bit different from what was depicted back at the Sarafan Stronghold, we found several centuries later (putting the same image here again so you don’t have to scroll up to compare, am I swell or what?):
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The Sarafan escape with Janos’ heart and the Reaver, while wraith Raziel has a final moment with Janos. 
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This part destroys me:
Raziel:
“Forgive me; I’m sorry… I failed you.”
Janos: (gently)
“No, Raziel. Perhaps this was my true purpose - simply to save your life this once.”
Raziel: (distraught)
“While I have taken yours…”
That last bit is probably my favourite line-read in the entire series so far (which is the most impossible thing to choose since there are so many great ones). But I think it’s the overwhelming sadness in Raziel’s voice that makes it memorable, you’ve never seen him feel like this for another creature.
Breaks my stone hardened heart every time I listen to it. And here’s why I think it’s an effective emotional scene, even though we only get a few minutes with Janos before he is murdered - it is because of contrast. Up until now everyone you meet is some degree of a bad or manipulative person, and you don’t really have a true friend or someone to confide in, there’s no one that really brings out the best in Raziel and it sucks because there is potential there.  So when you introduce the apparently only decent and noble person in this god forsaken land and you’re so used to by now suspect and mistrust everyone, it is impactful because he was truth and honesty in a sea of deception and moral relativism. He was my light in the midst of the fog and the one who saw good in me. And right when you’re finally relaxing and getting confortable the game pulls the rug from under you.
Now, while on the topic of having your past and future meet, there was a little something about the meeting between Adam and the Universal Church of Truth that I’ve been saving up until now. If you remember, Adam was interrogating the young woman who was killed by the inquisitors about the church and the god they worship. When suddenly:
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Good news is, Adam must’ve taken a left turn somewhere and ended up on the set for “Monty Python’s Life of Brian”, where he learned some latin:
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This helped him quickly figure out the Magus’ identity:
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Learn your dead tongues kids, you never know when it might come in handy when meeting your time travelling, thousands of years old future-self:
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So as you can se, we have a similar self-discovery journey going on but reversed in a way. In Raziel’s case you play as his future self, who time travels back in time, meets his past self and sees what a hypocrite he’s been his entire life. In Adam’s case you follow his present self, who meets the Magus (his future self), who has travelled back in time 5.000 years, in which time he has built his empire. Meeting and confronting said empire/future self, leads Adam to see what a hypocrite he’s been his entire life. You see, both Adam and Raziel have always been their own worst enemy (their own shortcomings and character flaws). So it would be only natural that we get embodiments of the worst in them: Raziel, the human Sarafan Warrior and the Magus, their past and future selves respectively.
Oof, this was a long one, and I’ve reach the character limit. In the next post I’ll elaborate more on their characters and different selves; and we go through the roller-coaster of emotions that is the endgame for both these stories.
Look foward to me losing my mind even further while I go into time travelling, paradox shenanigans… oh, and look foward to happier times with COSMIC SUICIDE! See you in the near future.
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intpstyle · 4 years ago
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Detective Conan Meta: Trauma, being seen & the Inner Child
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Okay, so it’s 6AM and I woke up with this essay half-formed in my mind and I need to talk about DC. Yesterday, I saw a quote on tumblr that read
“to be loved is to be seen”
and it literally haunted my dreams. I dreamt of Shinichi being unable to tell Ran who he is for so long now (we won’t go into the half a year debate (in this post)) and it got me thinking about the unbearable loneliness of it all. Then I thought of Heiji and of how liberating it must be for Shinichi that some people do know him for who he really is - that some people see him, that some people are able to love him, all of him, because they’ve recognised him even when he looks like a child. And that got a chain reaction of symbolism going in my brain because THINK ABOUT IT, Shinichi is literally forced to live as his own inner child.
So, we open with this lovably weird 17-year-old (fuck no, in the manga he’s actually only 16) with barely any survival skills who’s been left alone in a huge mansion because his parents went adios, who doesn’t have a whole lot of close friends because he always found it difficult to connect with others because he’s so focussed on his detective work and who, when he finally manages to ask the love of his life out on a date and inevitably stumbles over another murder, claims that “you get used to it”, that corpses don’t affect him, that nothing really affects him and, worst of all, he actually means it. This is our protagonist. He’s All Grown Up. He always tried to be All Grown Up. Frankly, with parents like these, he always had to be All Grown Up. And it’s okay! Because he found something he loves doing (finding the truth, restoring justice, helping people) and he’s good at it and people actually love him for it (look at all these fan letters, Ran, look at them!)
And then Ran (bless you, angel child) starts crying because - because so many reasons. One, she’s still affected by what happened. Two, she sees the love of her life being strong - and he always has and had to be strong; it must be so bloody exhausting and he’s not even aware of how tired he is, but to ask him to take a break, to take a look at what all this death and suffering and loneliness really means, to take it in, to stop, would be to take the one thing away (apart from her, but she doesn’t know that) that keeps him stable and grounded and to risk having him fall apart. I don’t think she knows this consciously, but Ran is empathetic and has been around Shinichi all her life - this, I think, is the moment it really hits her that this brutality (a literal decapitated corpse that spews blood like a fountain on a roller coaster!!!) has become her best friend’s “normal”. She is scared. She is worried. And she shows it.
And then Shinichi (bless you, cool child) tries to play it down, to make her feel better, to show her that this is nothing to despair over. He, too, is trying to be considerate of this incredible girl who always takes on other people’s burdens and their pain and grins and bears it. But it isn’t all compassion - he frankly also does not have the tools to deal with someone being so vulnerable and innocent and, dare I say?, child-like. And what does he do? Does he stay and engage with her side of things? Does he hear her out and consider that he HAS become callous and somewhat addicted to shedding light on the dark sides of other people? That he feels uncomfortable feeling the light turned back on himself? No! No, of course not! He’s 16 and has the emotional range of a tea spoon (#relatable). Instead, he latches onto the next sign of mystery and turns back to his quest for truth where he feels safe and needed. He LITERALLY tells Ran to “go ahead” and that he’ll “catch up” and boy, will he ever (emotionally).
We all know what happens next: he bites off more than he can chew. He stumbles over a case that even he admits is “serious” and is LITERALLY hit over the head with the realisation that this - socio-economic corruption, systemic criminal organisations, being vulnerable and opening up to a loved one - is the world of adults and he is NOT ready for it. So he, like everybody else, is given the choice to call it quits or to choose life, start over and re-learn the things he missed out in childhood to become an adult. He becomes his inner child again (the first chapter literally ends with the dialogue
“You okay!? Can you stand up, little boy?”
“Huh?”
and he’s trying. He’s trying to stand up, okay?) and it smarts. In this old/new form, he is taken care of, but not taken taken seriously by the policemen (”You must’ve been scared”) and it freaks him out that they treat him (the master detective!) like a child again. At this height, he fails to get into his own house (some more symbolism right there) and he is not recognised by Professor Agasa until he shows him some impressive deduction work, demonstrating that this really is at the core of his character - he enjoys and is good at mysteries. That was never the problem. Neglecting just about everything else was (- the same goes for OG Holmes, I’d argue). Seeing how the situation he went through literally (damn that’s a lot of literally) turned Shinichi back into a child, Professor Agasa warns him not to inflict the same traumatic damage on others - especially since the situation is not yet resolved. (...but Agasa’s involvement is another can of worms)
There’s a whole other post in Shinichi’s choice to call himself “Conan Edogawa” and wearing his father’s glasses as well (aka trying to redefine his identity by viewing the world through the lense of the people he admired (notably his father’s frames without the lenses though!)), but the most interesting thing happens when Ran shows up. He tries, desperately, not to be recognised - not to be seen - by her in this form because it’s not HIM (it is though) and because it would involve Ran in danger; would put her in the adult world he couldn’t deal with and couldn’t protect her from, thus, ironically, infantilising her and (although in an attempt to be heroic, nonetheless still) limiting her agency.
And this is where the irony really kicks in - because Ran finds it much easier to talk to this raw, vulnerable version of himself that he doesn’t allow her to see as a “grown-up” 16-year-old. It is now, as a child that asks straight-forward questions, that he learns that Ran really does love him and that she knows the good (dependable, brave & cool), as well as the bad (full of himself, bit of a jerk and obsessed with mysteries) sides of him better than he does. At the very moment, he, touched by her vulnerability and wanting to open up, decides to tell her the truth, he is again reminded of the Men in Black by Kogoro falling down the stairs like a sack of potatoes and he (dependable, brave & cool) decides not to involve anyone in the mess he brought upon himself until he can stand up to the world of adulthood that he shrank from.
The beauty of the series is that Shinichi slowly realises, bit by bit, drop by drop, excruciating chapter after excruciating chapter, that the way for him (an INTP) to become an adult is precisely by letting others see him as he is and thus forming lasting, real and dependable relationships (by developing his Fe). This tragically begins with Akemi Miyano (a first step and another reminder that he is not capable enough yet), is slowly built up with the Detective Boys (who are honestly so important for him), continues with Ai (#bestpartners, for both of whom Professor Agasa, the eternal child-inventor, is a safe haven where they can catch up on what they missed out on, Ai obviously much more so than Conan), reaches a really, really sweet high with Heiji (#bestbromance), a rather dissatisfying conclusion with his parents (who, and I cannot stress this enough, decide the best way to convince their traumatised son that his life is in danger is to point a literal gun (okay, it’s a pistol) at his face in disguise) and climaxes with Eisuke Hondo (at which point he is confident enough to proclaim who he is even while still in the form of a child (although that doesn’t make the context of the situation any less stupid (thus proving that he IS still a love-struck teenager at the end of the day))). tl;dr By being both the professional adult “Sleeping Kogoro”, as well as the cooky child “Conan Edogawa” at once, Shinichi can play with both facets of his teenage life until he reaches a level of stability that allows him to integrate the child mind into his adult mind - and that will be the point at which he’ll be able to fully become (not just temporarily play the role of) Shinichi Kudo.
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PS: It is also interesting to compare Ai’s and Shinichi’s approaches to being stuck in their childhood selves. Shinichi, not as scarred and slowly building up a network of people he trusts, is eager to move on and begs Ai to give him the temporary antidote as often as he can - he WANTS to grow up and be a grown-up so badly. There is so much (Ran) waiting for him there.
Ai, on the other hand, is much more cautious and warns him not to jump the gun. To her, much more scarred and still rather alone, this is an invaluable second shot at life and she is as careful with it as she humanly can, constantly worrying and on the look-out that someone could drag her back to the prison of responsibilities and obligations. That’s why it was SUCH a pivotal moment for her when she used and realised the use of her adult form when she saved the Detective Boys from the fire. She, too, is slowly connecting the two halves of herself but I suspect that it’ll take her an entire childhood to do so. (Also, interestingly, as an INTJ, she puts down her roots in a very different way from Conan. She cherishes her new relationships and protects them fiercely, but the real signs of her settling down ever-so-slowly is her growing willingness to reconstruct her internal moral system (Fi) and to acquire and find security in material possessions (Se), like her designer handbags and her little football-man-phone-strap.)
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musicfeedsmysoul12 · 5 years ago
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You Should See Me in A Crown Chapter 3
Summary:   The team goes to Gotham, looking for a new place to play in. They find one, they also find a bat, a few birds and maybe a new friend for them to play with.
Warnings: Dark AU, this chapter has sex references.
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The team had once already taken over a city’s underground. All it took was finding the right places and pushing. Money, blackmail, leaving someone alive… it was all so simple. 
 Gotham was different they were discovering- only in that people like Black Mask or Penguin had their hands in things.  Both were different from the criminals they had dealt with before, or even Akumas. However, they did what they did best.
 They divided and researched and conquered.
 “Penguin is black market- not our scene,” Alya said as she left the illusion of Stacy Jones, cocktail waitress at the Iceberg lounge drift away to leave her in her normal attire. “He doesn’t like drugs- he threw out a girl using them- and he prefers making his own guns.”
 “So, we offer an alliance when we’re big enough,” Marinette said as she put aside the book she was designing her dress for the gala in. “Black Mask?”
 “A freak.” Alya sniffed. “I mean- good for him, he’s done good work but ugh.”
 “Gotta respect what that man’s done but he’s a freak,” Nino said.
 “Aren’t we?” Marinette asked playfully. They snorted.
 “Got us there. Honestly- he’ll take some time to get rid of. Or fold into our empire- either one you want.” Nino shrugged. “I say kill him- he’ll never fully be folded in.”
 “Agreed.” Alya nodded. Marinette hummed.
 “Any word on the Batman?” she asked. Both shook their heads.
 “No- he’s probably already aware we’re in town but nothing yet.” Alya said. “We’re not that subtle. Or well, Chloe isn’t.”
 “Babe, we like her like this.”
 “I’m just saying,” teased Alya.
 “The magic will hide us. Even if he sees us face to face he’ll never know who we are.” Marinette said. “I just want to make sure we’re ready for him.”
 “Is anyone ready for a furry fighting them?” Nino asked.
 “Babe we’re all kind of furries,” Alya told him. He opened his mouth but then shut it.
 “Fair point.”
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“The Miraculous Team?” Bruce asked Dick as the younger vigilante pulled up some videos Barbara had gathered.
 “Yeah,” Dick said, feeling pained. The events in Paris when he’d been a teenager had been brushed off as a hoax until Hawkmoth was arrested and the entire world learned oh no it wasn’t. Wonder Woman had been furious. Even more so when she learned that somehow the entire team of heroes had gone dark and then come back ruling the criminal underbelly of Paris.
 Apparently, it was rare but sometimes… sometimes Kwami and their holders could become corrupted. Wasn’t to far to assume Hawkmoth had done one finale push against them. 
 Kids his own age… forced into whatever had happened to them.
 “Carapace or Turtle as he calls himself now has been sighted around the docks along with Rena Rouge or Fox as she calls herself.” Pictures of the former heroes appeared on the screen. Both were darker versions of their hero costumes before, more black and jagged edges in their costumes. Both had completely black eyes behind their masks. “I think they’re going after the drug trade. Doing what they did in Paris- limiting it to adults and keeping it away from kids.”
 “Part of their hero selves pushing through.” Bruce nodded. “Maybe we can bring them back.”
 “... You’re being oddly helpful about all this.” Dick said.
 “They’re kids. Might be a bit older but they were kids when this happened. Kids need help.” Bruce told Dick who nodded his understanding. They needed help, and they would help them. “Agreste- could he be helping them?”
 “Possibly. If I remember right Wonder Woman managed to speak with them a few times before they went dark,” Dick firmly did not snort at the double meaning to his words. This was serious. “They said that Hawkmoth had planned to use his son in some ritual didn’t they?”
 “A sense of thankfulness then.” Brice frowned. “I dislike the magic prevents any ability to tell who they are- it would be easier to do if we could tell.”
“I think my brain is trying to make connections but like something grabs it and makes it change its mind,” Dick said, making a face. 
 “Diana said that the magic is unbreakable.” Bruce frowned. “No one can break it not even other Miraculous Holders.” 
 “So we have nothing.”
 “Not truly. Agreste and his girlfriend are coming to the Gala this week.” Bruce told Dick who slowly nodded.
 “Bugs?”
 “Bugs.”
-0-
 Marinette hummed, studying her dress for the gala. It was a classic off the shoulder dress, black lace covering a portion of it. Her lips were classic movie star red and her hair was up, silver earrings hanging from her ears.
 “Damn,” Chloé said as she wandered into the room. “You look delicious.”
 “I try.” She smiled and studied her face a bit more. “Should I do smoky eyeshadow?”
 “I think just a dab? You’re going for innocent child look- smoky might make you look more animalistic.” Chloé said thoughtfully.
 “Point. Adrien managed to weasel his way out of his classic tux with that idea. He’s wearing something a bit more relaxed.” Marinette sighed. “It makes sense though. He’s acting more cat-like lately. I think we’ll have to have a public issue tonight so he can retire from the public for a little while.”
 “I believe Lex Luthor is attending- get him to do something,” Chloé suggested.
 “... you’re still salty about his comment about your dress aren’t you?”
 “Hush,” Chloé said with a sniff. Marinette laughed at her friend before leaving the room to the living room of her floor, finding Adrien only wearing his dress pants and hissing at the fact Luka was trying to get his shirt on.
 “Adrien we need to go soon!” Marinette said, giving him a look. That made him sigh and relent enough to wear the shirt. Luka and Kagami were invited to and were dressed in their suits. Kagami wearing a long coat that had ruffles at the bottom to act as a sort of dress even with her slacks. 
 “I’m the driver tonight,” Kim said as he walked in, dressed in slacks and a sweater that made everyone snicker. “Horse is busy with some issue?”
 “Some guy keeps trying to take over.” Alya agreed. 
 “Yeah. No positive ID- we’re working on that.” Nino said. 
 “Some of the peons have turned traitor. I’m having fun with them later,” Chloé grinned, showing all her teeth. Alya and Nino flashed her adoring smiles. 
 “Have Horse keep us in the loop. Use the Kwami to contact us,” Marinette ordered. She checked her make-up one more time and then it was time to go. They ran over their covers a few times while walking. 
 Adrien the nervous and shy boy after what happened with his father. Marinette his strong girlfriend also a bit nervous. Kagami would act as their bodyguard of sorts, portraying a strong friend trying to protect them. Luka the peacemaker. 
 They did similar things before. It would be hard to play everyone like a bunch of fiddles now.
 Driving to the gala, they all relaxed and chatted after the confirming of the gala. Both Kagami and Luka wanted to find company for the night- though agreed to only do so if Adrien could stay long enough. 
 “Maybe Dick Grayson?” Mused Luka. “He’s got a fine ass.”
 “Bet I can get him first.” Kagami grinned and Luka grinned back. Marinette and Adrien grinned themselves before sighing. 
 “Damn it- it wouldn’t fit our cover.”
 “Poor both of you,” Kagami said in amusement. They made faces at her and the car laughed as they pulled up to the fancy hotel the gala was being held in. Putting their masks on, they left the car with them in place.
 Showtime.
-0-
 “I hate this place.” Muttered Marinette to Adrien who was pretending to be somewhat cowering behind her. Or well not pretending. His cat side was close to the front and it was hard for him to act human enough to pass muster. 
 “Same. Can we please be done with this soon?” Adrien asked Marinette in a low voice, a soft growl to it that made her frown.
 He was really close.
 “Tikki, try and get Luthor to say something?” She said to the Kwami. A bit of creation magic to mess with his head would work. She felt a nudge from the shawl she had wrapped around her shoulders, where Tikki was hiding. She smirked as it vanished and smiled wildly when Brucie Wayne walked up.
 “Adrien! Marinette! How are you enjoying the party?” He grinned and acted like he was drinking but Marinette noticed it really didn’t move- the level in it that was.
“It’s fine. A lot more people then we’re used to but our friends are keeping the worst away.” Marinette smiled at Bruce while Adrien gave a short nod.
 “Oh yeah- Dick and Timmy are talking to them…” Brucie pointed out the group chatting and Marinette wanted to hold back her laugh. Dick was looking a bit unsettled given he was under the gaze of Kagami and Luka who tended to really double down when they wanted someone. Tim looked like he was trying really hard not to laugh, drinking some soda. “It seems they may be…”
 “Flustering your son? They do that.” Marinette giggled before she frowned. “... hopefully, they told him about their bet though I know they probably did.”
 “Bet?”
 “Oh, they bet on who could convince him to join them for the night. They tend to tell their targets this- if the target gets angry they back off. If they don’t mind they keep going,” Adrien explained. “They don’t like not letting people know about the bets- they say it’s to… gross not to.”
 “I’m surprised the son of Hawkmoth would think so.” A slimy voice said from behind and Adrien flinched while Marinette bristled. Lex Luthor was watching them with hard eyes, that to an unknowing observer wouldn’t have a slight shine to them. “I mean didn’t your father lie and use people all the time?” Adrien flinched again and Marinette bared her teeth.
 “And haven’t you been almost convicted of super-villainy a dozen times? Money talks I suppose- at least Paris was smart enough not to let it talk when it came to Gabriel.” Snarled Marinette at the man. He blinked and the shine was slowly vanishing. 
 They’d just needed to prompt him to speak.
 “Adrien?” Marinette offered a hand and he took it. “C’mon. Like and Kagami can stay if they wish, we’re not when people like him are here. So sorry Bruce.”
 “It’s alright,” Bruce told them sounding a bit off but they ignored it.
 The magic would prevent him from figuring things out.
 Kagami joined them as they left, pouting a little. 
 “Strike out?” Asked Adrien, sounding nervous but amused.
 “Incompatible interests.” Kagami pouted more while both Marinette and Adrien blinked.
 “... he’s a top?! With an ass like that?” Marinette asked in shock.
 “Apparently.” Kagami sighed. “Luka doesn’t mind though so he’s having a go of it.”
 “Good for him.” Marinette chuckled as they waited for their limo. Getting in, they stopped at seeing the serious face Kim had. “News?”
 “Some ma’am,” Kim said. He held up a hand and then Xuppu slipped into the back, moving around and pulling small devices off them. Bugs. The monkey grins and uses his powers to swap the frequency.
 Now they can hear the people who placed them when they’re activated.
 “We have issues on the docks,” Kim said straight forward while Marinette rolled her eyes. Of course, there were bugs- Batman probably had some idea Adrien could be helping the team. 
 The magic helped but that was a bit too obvious if one thought about it to block fully.
 “Oh?” Marinette asked while Adrien growled in his throat, and Kagami grinned.
 “Our annoyance just killed three of our men.” They all frowned at that. “We think we know a base near the docks.”
 “Let’s go. Know a name yet?”
 “Red Hood apparently.”
 “He’s done for.”
Tag list:  @northernbluetongue @ines-nz  @seraphichana, @glasswolff, @crazylittlemunchkin, @miraculous786, @viinaa08, @18-fandoms-unite-08 @hypnosharkrebeldreamer @my-name-is-michell @emjrabbitwolf @starsshineandgivehope @internally-confused-what @st0rmy-w1th1n @mycupisbroken @procrasinatingrightnow @i-was-supposed-to-have-a-twin @tumbling-down-hills-and-stuff @lexgetdowntobusiness @anastasian-dreamer
@thesunanditsangel @magicalfirebird @thefoxandthewofs @storyecho
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fabien-euskadi · 4 years ago
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12, 14, 18, 25, 39, 61, 99 😊
12. Any hidden talents? Talent is completely overrated. Hard work and the ability to learn and improve are a good substitute for talent. Being so, that means that I may have tons of unknown talents that I have never unlocked. But that doesn't mean I won't do it. I have talent - the talent of considering talent something lazy people like to overestimate (because learning and improving requires intelligence and hard work and those are the real talents one can have).
14. Socks or bare feet around the house? Usually, I am bare feet - but only when the temperatures allow me to do it. But, where I live currently, temperatures are mild to hot almost all year.
18. Do you sing in the shower? No. The sound of the water is my music during the shower.
25. Favorite memory? Currently, I feel like deleting all my memories and erase the pain that burns me from inside. Without memories, I would start my life again, like a clean sheet of paper, where pain never wrote any word. So, my favourite memory has to be one that never happened - hopefully, it will be a (good) memory of something that will happen in the future... and yes, reading my words, you can notice how wounded I am.
39. Favorite season? I struggle with a seasonal depression that only attacks during Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Being so, my favourite season is any season other than the ones I've mentioned.
61. Favorite thing about yourself? Some people managed to hurt me so deeply that I no longer have faith in myself. Sometimes, I wake up and feel I am the worst and ugliest person in the World. So, the favourite thing about myself... I don't know, you tell me. Do I have something that is worth it? If I have such thing, that will be my favourite thing about myself... other than the fact that I underestimate/do not believe in raw talent.
99. What do you hope never changes? You. No matter who you are. Stay true to yourself, please. You have no idea how precious that is. I have seen people change and become all that their previous selves would despise and you have no idea how sad that is. We can improve, but the root of our soul must remain intact.
Thank you, anon - and I’m sorry if my words have a slightly dark tone today.
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callyrose1986 · 4 years ago
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my reality is a fantacy
MY REALITY IS A FANTACY  
Its beginning of April and I've been hearing voices since my birthday last September, I can't say I had the best time of my life... I decided to type it all down of what I went through, let me break it down for you, one day around my birthday I decided to read a few tarot cards online and the more I did they showed the same outcome, that I was to meet my twin flame, twin soul or/and soul mate, not sure if it's all in one or if it's just one of these, that I'm not sure of, now for those of you who don’t know what that is a twin fames or the others twin flame is when one soul splits into two, not sure exactly what twin soul is other what it sounds like, seems to me it is the same thing like the twin flame, soul mate is just that, a mate for your soul, look it all up for yourself.  
For some odd reason I begin to hear voices of a women and she helped me get better at hearing them I can't say exactly what she did I can't remember, I have the worst memory anyway though this times of readings I figured out who my other flame was and I don’t know if it was fate or dumb luck but it was my celebrity crush.... Imagine that, I have no idea who or why it turned out to be him but I was constantly told that I could manifest my desires and welp.... take that as you may I have no idea myself what is truly going on in my life right now..... only the gods and answer that messed up bit of information, not that I'm a religious person I prefer to spiritual instead.  
I tried to contact him online his name was Tom Hiddlston, I had a crush on him since I first saw I'm in the superhero movies when he played Loki in the Thor, tall dark and handsome was my type, I then fell for him even more once I got to know the actor, well as much as I could get to know him behind the silver screen. Anyway, I was reading pictures from his hashtags on Instagram like you read tarot cards and then I would post a reply and put it in Tom’s @page and I would get something like a reply... I could hear him in my head too and then for some reason he told others it turned into something like a little game them who turned out to be the cast of avengers.
it went over pretty good on his side, but unfortunately on my side when I broke it to my mother.... I made one of  the biggest mistake I ever made...deciding to walk from my small town of Coulhurst all the way to the city of Lethbridge to go to chapters. Where I thought the tort card where hinting I would meat Tom, not that I actually though I would I just wanted to go, and they were egging me on to go, something else that I could inform you all about is that there is many different realities not just the one you live in and unfortunately that mean that there are many, many different versions of ourselves and unfortunately, I did not contact just my version of Tom Hiddlston but I contact all of the others two, I have no idea how I managed that... the one that came was not my Tom from my world but from another and that means I could not see him.  
I still don’t know if I have talked to the Tom from my world, I guess I won't know till I get the chance to meet him in person, if that ever happens of course, let's see... I died in other reality's more times than I could count, mainly because I can't remember, being stabbed in the back by a trickster god called Loki a few dozen times and I don’t mean from the Norse mythology I mean by the Loki from the marvel movies, ya because that’s a thing....  
Everything you watch is a window to another reality and dreams are something of the same, now there is more like I can put myself into movies and shows I watch and I can hear what the characters are thinking and saying, not to mention in the begging I thought whatever I do in my mind what actually happen in the other reality's I was thinking I was in, now I changed that it just everyone imagining it but not really having it happen, I did a lot of not so nice stuff and still do but at least it's not real, I was sent to hell a few times wish I know what heaven was like, think I got jipped on that one, worst thing I ever did really was sole chock from when I was at school and church, I did watch some porn that was not meant to be watch by anyone's eyes and played some pornographic games but I don’t think I'm meant to go to hell for it...  
Apparently the ‘devil’ just wanted someone on one time, I brought myself back to life as soon as I knew I was dead, well eventually sometimes, it was just tiering having to do that all the time, oh by the way I can do that bring myself back it along with anything else you can think of, I can do anything I want too in other realities, does not work in my reality but then again I can't be killed by other people from other realities in my reality, also I got murdered on my way to chapters stabbed and molested by some random guy still not sure about the whole story behind that one my mother found me walking still to the book store in my reality, that was a trip I tell you, before I was picked up I somehow jumped into other bodies of the actors who had flown down with Tom and had found me at my house.
I did end up at the store but of cause no one showed up, that was one journey I won't soon forget, I  found out that my other selves where from other realities and that characters I created comes to life, like since tv and movies characters where once created, I was not sleeping and was not eating but I was not tiered or hungry but for a girl who did not have the  waite I didn’t need to louse more of it.
I was seeing signs of that my house was evil and that the color red was bad and everything that was ‘dark’ needed to go so I got rid of mostly everything I had in my room that was considered ‘dark’ on top of that lost a caption America sweeter and Tom Hiddlston doll and Spiderman figure and almost lost my phone, it was found  thankfully but not the others.  
Among all the other versions of me there is a few evil characters evil clowns evil demon things a robot some zombies some vampires and a dnd character and an original character called Cally, among others I'm not sure about, one of them is called the moon goddess who has the power to have everyone fall in love with her looks, and it leaks out into me so others from the other universes feel overly attracted to me because of her, there is an off switch but it keeps turning on and she says it's not always her doing it, I'm not sure if I should believe that, Tom has the same thing but I won't know that till later, names the sun god, I'm not too fond of that one, my fault for calling him the sun to my moon, nether one of them where exactly what I though them to be.
it wasn’t just that everyone was attracted it was harassment and no one would take no for an answer I was raped in a lot of realities, it's gotten better but still not perfect yet, they are lucking they didn’t die from doing that to me.  right after I when walking to the book story my mother had me admitted to a mental health facility, where they drugged me up to take away the voiced, it worked but on the down side I could not eat I could not sleep, I was shaking uncontrollably and it was worse than when I was home,  I just didn’t feel the need to sleep or eat at home.
I was drooling from the shot they game me and I was losing wait because I could not swallow the food, it was not a fun time, I was there for about a month after that I want in to shasha house and I was therefore a day or two and they took me to the hospital to see if they could figure out what was wrong with me, they gave me something for the shot I took to get rid of the voices since that’s what was making me have side effects, it didn’t take long for me to feel better, I was in the hospital for about a week or something close, after that I was at my sisters for a few days, meanwhile my mother had got something called global amnesia from the stress.
Then I was back to shasha house I was there for about a week or two and was thinking of the voices again, I haven't heard from anyone since I had that shot but even with everything that happen I still wanted them back I was lonely I liked talking to them I liked talking to Tom, you may think I'm stupid to start this all over again but I don’t give a damn! This time I would tell no one, have it be my little dirty little secret, don’t really remember how I got them back but I did, I didn’t get the right ones though I didn’t know that, I have been going through so many to find the one from my reality, there is no real way to find out who is Tom from my reality I've told Tom who loves  me by now that maybe we should meet at a comic expo somewhere where I can get to, so in Canada hopefully in Alberta.
let's see this second half I got stepped a few times again and mind f*cked a couple of time no more evil things like seeing red and thinking devil is after me, no more going to hell or dyeing, we tried merging all the realities but didn’t work tried to merge all the Toms still don’t know if that works to our advantage or not. I still have my highs and lose, I've run across the first group a few times and they are merged with a Tom who is now called God... btw I HATE HIM!!! Fuck the sun god GOD, ‘GOD Tom’ IS THE WORST!!! I will MURDER THIS BASTERED WHEN I SEE HIM because he lied about being the ‘REAL’. I also decided to stop giving ‘second’ chances to the villains, they just don’t learn.  
I'm sure there is more I could say but that’s it for now, I still haven't seen anything of Tom going to a Con near me yet, I still have a few weeks to go till I go.  
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