#lexie grey mention!

[spellbcok]

a closed starter for lexie ( @mastcrmiind )

"do you want a drink?" chloe asks as she makes her way to the fridge. "i mean, i've got all the sodas. the healthy ones, the not-so-healthy ones. there's kombucha." she turns back, and gestures to the alcohol. "or if you want something a little stronger, i've got that too."

[idk-i-just-really-like-tsc]

i haven’t posted about it yet but im so happy greys got renewed so much more dr harry shum jr for me!

[railingsofsorrow]

death and all of its friends

[spencer reid x reader]

summary: you have an important witness admitted to Grey Sloan Hospital, but things get out of hand in the middle of your questioning. the unsub is on the loose and your team is still on their way. it's the worst that could happen, right? except that you end up stuck in an elevator with your ex. and that is worse. ( slight crossover between GA and CM ) 

pairing: s.reid x f!bau!reader; past!jackson avery x f!bau!reader 

w.c: 5.8K

warnings/content: heavy discussions about trauma regarding a mass shooting; PTSD; the word kill/murder is there a few times; kidnapping; break-ups; heartbreak; anxiety attack; hospitals; claustrophobia; mentions of surgery and blood and gunshot wound (not really graphic); minor character death (mentioned); there is so much drama in this you might call it unnecessary but I just had to unleash the devil in me; suggestive content (near the end); making out; long paragraphs in italics are flashbacks.

a/n: ok ok, like I promised (3000 years ago) here it is. enjoy it and please let me know if I forgot to tag anyone! 

navi

masterpost

cm masterlist

━━━━━━━━━ 

Five years ago you walked these same halls running from a mass shooter that entered Seattle Grace and caused havoc. Now, instead of Seattle Grace is Grey Sloan and apparently, not only the name of the hospital has changed. Amongst the Attendings, Residents and Interns there were all new faces, which only made sense since it's been five years and some of the people you knew had left and others died. 

Cristina Yang nicknamed the hospital Seattle Grace Mercy Death once and after all the stories you've been told by your ex-boyfriend's friends, it seemed fitting.  

You liked Cristina's dark humor. She was the funniest person you met in your time in Seattle. You were happy to hear she left to be a cardiothoracic surgeon in Switzerland, and she owned a hospital now, which was great.  

As you passed the cafeteria your head was flooded with memories of Lexi pulling you to have lunch with her after she finished a procedure, her excited rambles about every detail inside an OR — she wasn't Lexopedia for nothing — and the juicy gossip she provided you about the relationships inside this hospital (and her relationship with Mark Sloan). 

You might not have worked with these people but they felt like family once, the missing will always be there.  

Nostalgia had to be left aside for your job though, you had to find an important witness in a case involving the kidnapping of a six-year-old boy. He had been missing for three days, you were running against the clock at this point.  

“Miss Howard's room.” The nurse pointed you towards the room and you thanked her with a polite smile. “She's been sedated, so she may not be totally aware of her surroundings yet. She just got out of surgery.”  

“Alright, thank you.” 

Stab wound to the chest. An argument turned ugly in prison. You recalled Penelope telling you and the team that that was the reason she had been hospitalised. You observed the handcuffs locking her wrist against the bed before approaching.  

Your phone vibrated in your pocket and you grabbed it to see a text from JJ.  

Is she awake? 

Yes.  

You pressed send and looked up at wiped-out blue eyes staring back at you with annoyance. You could hear what she was about to say already.  

“I answered all of y'all's questions already, can you people never leave me alone?” 

“Miss Howard, I'm with the FBI,” you started, introducing your name and then, proceeding to the hard part.  

The crease between her brows told you she was unaware of why you were there. “You people locked me up three years ago what is there to do now? Checking up if I'm killing any more disgusting men who deserved it?” 

“Martha, it's about your son, Ben Howard.” The way she immediately froze made your heart clench. Why did it have to be you to give her the news? JJ is way better at doing this, you have no idea of comforting people so you'd rather just not do it. “He's been kidnapped by your husband, Thomas Howard.”  

“Ex-husband.” She tried sitting up with difficulty while being handcuffed to the bed. You helped her. “What— No. Ben visited me with my sister three days ago, he's fine. He wouldn't dare touch my boy.” 

Ten minutes later into your questioning, your back pocket started to vibrate and you pulled it out to see who it was. 

Spencer calling. . .  

“Everything you said is very helpful, Miss Howard, we're going to try everything we can to find Ben.” 

“Please do.” Her voice cracked and you saw the mask of indifference crumble a little. “He's— he's all I got.” 

You nodded, then excused yourself to answer the call outside of the room.  

“Hey, I was just about to update you guys—” 

“He's in Grey Sloan.” Spencer blurted out the first second you answered. “Thomas Howard is in Grey Sloan. Where are you?”  

“What— What about the kid? Did you find him?” You quickly informed the two police officers outside the room to not let anyone else in. “You don't mean he's inside Grey Sloan, right?” 

Hotch's voice rang through the line and you knew you were on speaker. “He's going after Martha. We found Ben, he was unarmed but Thomas's endgame is Martha. And yes, he's inside the hospital at this moment. Do you know where Martha is?” 

“I just talked to her,” you turned your neck to glimpse at her room again subconsciously. “There are two officers outside her room, I already told them. But Hotch—” 

“He's armed, wait for backup.” 

“We profiled him as a psychopath, Hotch. He's impulsive and has no remorse or guilt, you know what he's capable of, especially if he let the boy go.” 

“Kid, don't be reckless yourself. We're almost there—” Rossi tried to intervene. 

“We're almost there.” You heard Spencer's voice and that made you hesitate for a second before hanging up. “Please don't—” 

Your heart was thumping hard and rapidly against your ribcage, you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. As soon as you felt numbness in your fingers you clenched your hand into fists and let go, this was the way your body warned you you were about to have an anxiety attack. Thankfully, you were able to notice it before it got to the point where you passed out.  

Your name was called from afar and you halted, bumping into a nurse and mumbling a shaky sorry. The owner of the voice touched your elbow and you flinched, hand immediately searching for your gun. 

“Hey, whoa, it's me, Amelia. I didn't mean to scare you but when I saw it was you I just— it's been five years and you're here!” You withdrew your hand from the holster on your hip, inhaling and exhaling slowly to force your heart to calm the fuck down, you are not in imminent danger. 

“Amy,” you smiled and accepted the hug she was eager to give you. “Hi. How are you?” 

“I'm great, yeah. And you? For how long are you staying?” 

“I'm not. I, uh, I'm here on a case, with the FBI.” You cleared your throat. “Actually, I need your help with something.” 

Fifteen minutes later you had already warned most of the staff and Attendings in two floors to keep an eye out for Thomas Howard. You tried slowing your fast pulse by practicing the guided breathing you learned in therapy all those years ago. You did everything your therapist said, every single step from questioning your thoughts to counting everything blue you found in your way.  

You couldn't stop memories from revisiting your brain. 

━━━━━━━━━ 

You were waiting to have lunch with him.

It was almost one in the afternoon, Jackson was late because of a surgery that was taking longer than expected due to complications.  

It was your day off. One of the rare days you'd appear in Seattle Grace Mercy West before 6 p.m. when your classes at Washington University were over. You were a part of the Psychology department at WU, and a professor for the Undergraduate Program of B.S., Psychology.  

It wasn't usual for you to have a day off but given the amount of days you've been accumulating over the year, it was only fair.  

So you visited your boyfriend in the hospital, patiently waiting for his belated surgery to end so you could have your lunch date. That was until Lexi Gray pulled you into the hospital's cafeteria and you ended up having lunch with her.  

Lexi.  

You remember her terrified face when it happened. It had been a terrifying day, one that no one expected. It's funny how tragedies are never announced, isn't it? They just come barging in and you can't just ignore the door, tragedies do not need to knock.  

It was in that day, that you understood the gravity of that.  

Of course, it wasn't as nearly as bad for you as it was for those who worked at that place. They would have to come back every day and see the walls and that same floor which were smeared with their friends' blood.  

Jackson had lost two of his best friends. He spent two months having nightmares screaming their names during the night and getting mad at himself because you weren't able to sleep. That was the least of your concerns back then. You know something that would forever be etched into your brain was the barrel of a gun being pointed at you and the sound of the safety being taken off. You can't even recall the actual shot, only the pain that followed afterward and Jackson's horrified expression as he held your weak body on the floor.  

You thought you died. Jackson thought you died. Meredith, Lexi, Cristina and everyone else thought you died. In reality, you had just passed out from blood loss caused by a bullet wound to your chest area.  

That must have been terrifying to watch. You couldn't imagine being in his place, you probably would've been crying non-stop at the amount of blood, not saving his life, like he did to you.  

During the recovery process, you remember thinking about the absurdity of your dream of becoming an FBI Agent. If you weren't able to control your emotions on situations like that then what's even the point of anything? 

According to your therapist, what you suffered didn't determine the person you were, which, at first, you judged as complete bullshit. But you understood in later sessions what she meant by that.  

“Is it something you think you are not capable of doing?” 

You looked up from your hands, staring into the gray eyes of Isobel Houston. Jackson had made a compelling deal with you. He basically threw in your face that if he, who was threatened with a gun, was doing therapy, you, who had been shot and almost died in his arms, also had to talk about it.  

And here you were. 

“I'm not sure if I would know how.” You replied, brows twitching with your uncertainty. You were discussing about holding a gun and going out into the field, which was required in the training at the FBI Academy. You told her if you freaked out at the sight of blood then you shouldn't follow through with your decision to become an FBI Agent. 

“Well, that's what training is for, isn't it?” Isobel quirked a brow at you, earning a scoff. “You would learn certain abilities and improve the ones you already have in the academy. They wouldn't expect you to know everything.” 

“I'm not sure if I can.”  

Isobel nodded and wrote something down in the notepad you were planning to steal to see how she was making fun of you in there. 

“It is too soon still. But don't rule out your dream career quite yet. You are healing, it's a process that requires patience, both from you and from others around you. You don't have to think about that now. How about you take some time to yourself, focus on healing, getting better first?” 

A year later you would be forever thankful for those words. Because you didn't give up of your dream career, you made the decision to follow through with it and it worked.  

Partially, at least. 

“What do you mean you were accepted?” Jackson put his fork down as he chewed on his salad, tilting his head in confusion at you. “How can you be accepted somewhere if you didn't even apply to it?” The amusement in his tone instantly died as soon as he saw your serious face across from him. He connected the dots. “But you did apply... didn't you?” 

"Jack, I've always wanted this." 

He offers you a look of disbelief. 

"I know! But- You didn't even talk to me and-" 

"That's my decision." You cut him off.  

"Well, yes, but I'm your boyfriend. I think I deserved to know you were thinking about leaving for four months?" 

It caused a rift in your and Jackson's relationship. Back then, you didn't mind the fact that you were kind of doing things on your own, because your only goal was to leave and maybe, just maybe, forget what happened but the scar you had in your chest had to remind you of it. You never told him that, and you blamed him for not wanting you to leave for four months. Selfish; that was what you called him countless times after you broke up before you left. When, in reality, you had been the selfish one in the relationship.  

Truth be told, you wanted to forget that part of your life. Your completely foolish mistake and how wrong you were. Your healing had taken years and it still wasn't perfect, you weren't unflinching to the threat of an armed man. Right now, you wanted nothing more than to go back to Virginia and crawl into your blankets to feel some sort of safety.  

You had to bring safety to these people when you felt lost and cornered, how fun was that? You felt like such a failure. Years of experience and training going down the drain because of a stupid trauma.  

To add to that, you were currently stuck in an elevator. With a reckless man going after your witness. And your team was close to your location but not quite enough.  

Maybe they were already here since you had no reception and no way of knowing about their whereabouts.  

Maybe they already caught Thomas Howard and Hotch was thinking about his careful words as he fired you for your incompetency. 

“Why is it that when I find you you're always leaving?” 

Right. You got stuck in an elevator with your ex of all people. It was like everything you did not want to happen would materialize in front of you. 

“Jackson," you hissed, rubbing a hand across your face in pure frustration because of the useless phone in your hands. None of the messages were sent. Where were they? How was Martha? 

Hey, Spence. Where are you? 

I'm stuck in an elevator, fourth floor. I don't know what happened.  

You sent those fifteen minutes ago.

“It was just a comment,” Jackson said, shrugging in that infuriating way as if he knew he was right about something. You also knew Jackson Avery's way of deviating from his real problems was to seek anger. And usually, someone was the target. This time, it was you. "What are you doing here?" 

You looked down at your bulletproof vest and glanced up at him. Jackson's brows rose up to his hairline in understanding. God, he could be slow sometimes. 

"You're with the FBI." 

"I am the FBI." 

Jackson blinked, "right. Right. Uh, I- Sorry, I-" his apologetic wince made you relax your shoulders. "I'm sorry, I'm just... This is too familiar." Yeah, you could relate to that. 

"Jackson," your eyes softened but you tried to reassure him as much as you were able to. "This is not the same thing. His reasoning is completely different. What happened then- It won't happen again."  

His bright green eyes study you with a newfound curiosity but you could see some of the tension leave his body.  

"You sound sure." 

"I am," you said. "My team is close by and they're good. Besides, all of the local cops probably asked for backup already. And SWAT is right outside." 

He took a long minute staring you down to nod quietly. The silence that came afterward was uncomfortable. There was so much to say and nothing and the same time. This wasn't the time, but it was inevitable to not think about your last words to each other. You didn't hold a grudge against Jackson, you had no reason to, but he had plenty to do it and you wouldn't blame him. 

Fuck, why was this elevator so hot? Why were the walls so close to one another? 

"I saw you on TV once."  

You swallowed hard, feeling your throat closing up. Your attention drifted towards Jackson's whitecoat.  

"I didn't know being in the FBI made you famous." His attempt at joking had you scoffing despite your current state of mind. "I would've made a career exchange if I knew." 

"You were already rich, why do you need to be famous?" You mumbled with your eyes shut as you tried to calm your erratic breathing down. "Actually, you were already famous and rich, so anything you just said is..." your voice failed. "… complete bullshit." 

He said your name twice and you were obligated to open your eyes. He was much closer and concern tugged his lips downwards.  

"Put a hand on your chest and tell me what you can see." You stared at his lips moving slowly as your vision blurred slightly. He said your name more urgently this time. "Put a hand on your chest and tell me what you see." 

"Your stethoscope," you said as you stared at it, clearing your throat. "F-flyers," you croaked out, glancing briefly above his shoulders to the flyers splattered around. You couldn't see what they were about, but you knew they were there as they had been since the first time you stepped inside this elevator years ago. 

"What can you feel?" 

Your fingers drummed against your ribcage. Your breathing slowing down but not quite there yet. "My heartbeat. Mhm... The-my cold necklace." It was always two things. You thought about one and as you searched for another, you would calm down through the process.  

You could feel the warmth of his hands on your arms, helping grounding you back to earth.  

"Good. Two things you can hear." He was way relieved after your voice stopped shaking.  

"Your voice," you uttered, feeling your fingers moving and the sweat dripping down your back. The anxiety diminished little by little. When you were about to say the next thing you could hear, what you could only describe as two loud shots right outside the elevator doors made the both of you flinch and stare at the metal doors with widened eyes.  

You immediately got into action, thankfully prioritizing being numb over any other emotion at that moment, which was what you should have done from the start.  

"What are you doing?" Jackson asked you confusedly as you tried prying the doors open. "We might not be entirely on the floor-" 

"Help me open this, Jackson and I'll figure it out from there." 

Just then, your phone came back to life. Reception. At the same time, the doors opened without any human force. You didn't have time to see the caller ID before your gun was drawn in front of you and Jackson, ready to fire.  

"Hey, hey, it's me!" The voice you've been craving to hear for half an hour called out your name in front of you. Honey-brown, you thought, locking eyes with Spencer, I can see honey-brown eyes too. "I just got your text, I was looking for you- Hey." He breathed out in your ear as you threw your arms around his neck. His arms squeezed you in comfort. "Are you okay?" 

I am now. 

Your head bobbed up and down as you leaned back to get some distance. PDA wasn't your forte, but you had been triggered just a few minutes ago, and you needed some comfort from the only person who would effectively provide it to you.  

“They got him. He was hidden in one of the on-call rooms on the third floor.” Spencer filled you in before you could ask. He was assessing you thoroughly, looking for any strand of hair out of place, something that would tell him you had gotten hurt.  

You placed a hand on his chest, patting it gently. “I'm okay,” you tried reassuring him, eyes traveling through the room until you found some of your coworkers talking with the local police.  

“You should drink water.” Jackson's voice startled you a bit and Spencer looked behind you curiously. “And sit down.” 

And that comment immediately canceled out Spencer's certainty that you were okay. 

“Oh, I'm fine.”  

“Anxiety attack.” Jackson mouthed to Spencer out of your eyesight. He moved away to talk to some doctors while Spencer stared at his back, trying to pinpoint where exactly did he knew him from and why he was acting as if he knew you.  

But then it clicked.  

Jackson Avery. Harper Avery's grandson. Owner of a share of the Grey Sloan Memorial. Plastics surgeon. 

Right, of course. And your ex-boyfriend. 

“Is Martha okay?”  

Spencer looked down at you, blinking. “Uh-huh. Yeah, she's safe.”  

You gave him a look, “what?” 

“What?” His voice failed, which was a bit embarrassing, really.  

“Just spit it out, Spence.” 

So, he did. 

“Were you stuck in an elevator with Jackson Avery?”  

You almost choked up on your own saliva, earning a grimace from your boyfriend. Your concerned and caring boyfriend wasn't making that question because of pure jealousy, he genuinely wanted to know if you were okay after being stuck in an elevator with your ex-boyfriend in the same place you got shot by Gary Clark.  

“I'm sorry I wasn't here,” Spencer said with a sigh. “I should have come with you. I'm so sorry I wasn't here.” 

“Spencer, I'm fine,” you insisted, taking his hand on yours. Fuck it. “Hey, nothing happened in there.”  

He knows that but that's not what he meant. Not in that sense. 

“I'm not jealous.” He felt the need to clarify. He wasn't immune to jealousy but that was neither the right place nor moment for it. He just wanted to know if the reason for your anxiety attack was just being in a confined space or if the other person you were stuck with had something to do with it. “But you— Did he say something to you? To trigger it?” 

It took you a moment to get what he was saying, but once you did, you sighed and pulled him aside away from prying eyes.  

“No. I— It was the images. Memories. And the whole thing of being inside an elevator for more than one minute. He didn't do anything. He actually... helped me calm down.” 

Spencer brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear, “okay. Good. And do you feel better now?” 

A tender smile twitched the corner of your lips.  

“Yes, I do.”  

“Are you ready to go?” Hotch approached you and Spencer and you watched Emily, JJ, Derek and Rossi exit the hospital.  

“Yes.” But your eyes drifted to the side and you told both of them you'd meet them in the car. “I'll be right there. It won't take long.” 

Spencer kissed your temple on his way out.  

━━━━━━━━━ 

"Are you okay?" 

"Are you?"  

Both of you have been on opposite ends of the room for the past five minutes and none had the courage to break the deafening silence. It should have been you, though. You were the one to ask Jackson for a quick word.  

"Why wouldn't I be?" His brows furrowed as he stared at his hands. He seemed deep in thought. You wondered if he was thinking the same as you. It was a long time ago. It was a long time ago but it is somehow very fresh when he's standing in front of me.  

Because we never got closure. I didn't let that happen. 

"We never talked about it." You sat down in one of the bunk beds, knowing this wouldn't be as fast as both of you liked it to be. Years of a relationship couldn't be fixed in five minutes. You texted Spencer to let him know you'd meet all of them in the motel since the jet would only be available tomorrow anyway, and you didn't want anybody waiting for you.  

"We did."  

"Talking to our therapists is not the same as communicating to each other." You interjected. 

Jackson's gaze flashed with hurt and he looked away.  

“I couldn't stay," you said, biting your cheek because it was so hard to admit that out loud. 

He finally looked up, tilting his head to look at you. “You couldn't or you wouldn't?”  

You clenched your jaw, annoyance seeping through your demeanor. “I wouldn't. It was my dream, it had always been my dream to get into the FBI—into the BAU. I wouldn't give that up. And it's not fair for you to judge me when you know exactly how that feels. Yes, I could have stayed, but I didn't want to.” 

Jackson rolled his eyes, standing up to pace around the room. "Yeah, it was pretty clear you didn't want to stay." 

"Jackson-" 

“Look, I'm not judging. And yes, I do understand. I just think—" He halted and looked at you, green eyes burning into yours. "God, did you have to pack your bags without even talking to me? You made a life-changing decision and you just up and left.” 

Your breath hitched, and something in your chest churned painfully. Guilt, probably. Five years and you hadn't uttered the words he deserved once. 

"I'm sorry." You swallowed with difficulty. "Jackson, I- What I did was unfair and I'm so incredibly sorry for hurting you. You deserved more than that." 

"I've forgiven you a long time ago," Jackson confessed, uncrossing his arms and angling his body towards you. "It's been five years. Those words have been bottled up in my throat since the moment you walked out... but I don't hate you."  

You winced, "but you did hate me." 

Amusement travels through his face. "For a bit, yes."  

"Fair." 

"I'm sorry too."  

You gave him a sad smile. "You didn't leave me, Jackson." 

"No, but I said some pretty hurtful things to you. So, I'm sorry." 

"Mhm, okay." You nodded, shifting on your feet. “You're forgiven too, I guess.”

Jackson offered his hand for a handshake...? You glanced down at it, holding back a laugh because of how awkward he was being. You shook his hand, grinning with a shake of your head.  

Yeah, that could be closure.  

“I saw you on TV,” Jackson repeated what he said before but you weren't exactly alright to actually hear it. “Are you giving out autographs?” 

“I'm giving out this, does it work for you?” You flipped him off. A nurse passed by you and gave you an ugly look while Jackson just smirked.  

━━━━━━━━━ 

As soon as you walked through the doors of Grey Sloan Memorial, exiting the hospital, your eyes caught the back of a familiar lanky figure whose light brown curls waved wildly with the harsh wind of Seattle. 

When you got close enough, you heard an indignant edge to your boyfriend's tone. He was speaking on the phone. Your amusement grew when you realized was on the other line, pissing him off. 

“Yeah, you know what, Derek?” Spencer started but cut himself off upon seeing you arrive at his side. “You're back.” His annoyed tone switched to something softer.  

“What's he pissing you off about now?” You crossed your arms over your chest. “Tell him I'll slap his bald shiny head if he doesn't stop.” 

Spencer snorted, covering his mouth. You could hear Derek's telling you to fuck off through the phone before Spencer hung up the call.  

You accepted the urge to pull him close to you by wrapping both of your arms around his middle and lowering your head to his chest. His immediate response was to bury his face in the croak of your neck, the cold tip of his nose grazing your skin made you squirm a little.  

“I thought I told you not to wait for me.”  

Spencer rubbed your back, leaning back slightly to look down at you. 

“I wasn't gonna let you drive back on your own.” 

You chuckled, “are you telling me I'm a terrible driver? 

He hummed, lips quirking up when he kissed the tip of your nose. “You're not as terrible as me.” 

“I'm not sure if that can be classified as a compliment, angel. But you're right, nobody is a worse driver than you.” 

A pinch in your hip made you whine. He started laughing as you gave him a playful shove before getting in the car. Driver's seat. You had to prove a point.  

“How are you?” Spencer asked after a long minute of being silent and you knew he'd be dying to ask that. 

“I'm okay.” You told him, giving his thigh a soft squeeze as you concentrated on leaving the parking lot.  

“How did it feel?”  

You stopped at a red light. The motel was about fifteen minutes from the hospital by car, and you wouldn't go back home today, the jet was only going to be available tomorrow.  

“Suffocating.” You laughed after you admitted it out loud. That was how you felt. “Yeah, that's about it. The moment I stepped inside Grey Sloan I felt cornered.” 

“That's understandable.” Spencer caressed the back of your hand before you had to pull it back to move the car gear. “You haven't been there for five years. You may have seen, smelled, felt, or touched something that triggered you to go back to that very moment. Even though triggers are usually harmless, they cause your body to react as if you're in danger.” He explained, causing your mouth to quirk upwards in amusement. “Which was why I wanted to be there with you.” 

“Hey, that wasn't your fault. And I'm not a little girl anymore, I can get a grip on myself, Spence. We were doing our jobs.” 

From the corner of your eye, you were able to see him lean back on the seat with a roll of his eyes. 

“Well, yes, I know but I wanted to be there with you. You know just... be there.”  

You parked in the motel's parking lot, turning the car off. You inhaled heavily before turning to Spencer, leaning forward to kiss him on the lips. Your boyfriend hummed in satisfaction, pulling you closer by the back of your neck. 

“What was that for?” He blinked bleary, voice slightly dazed after your surprise kiss. Your insides turned to mush and fondness overtook your body.  

“I love you,” you said, thumb running across his cheek lovingly. “like... a lot.” 

His eyes sparkled at your statement and he started smiling like an idiot. An idiot head over heels for you. 

“Like a lot?” 

“Like a lot.” 

A harsh tap on your window made your body jerk and you hit your knee against the steering wheel, a loud curse slipping past your tongue. 

Spencer lowered the car window with a glare.  

“Alright, lovebirds. We're going out to the bar across the street to have a little fun. Are you coming or what?” Derek dipped his head as his eyes narrowed at the two of you. “Was I interrupting something?” 

“How are you so annoying—” 

“There is no scientific explanation for that, angel.” You pat Spencer's shoulder, who huffed while getting out of the car. He was immediately wrapped in a side hug by Derek as you locked your car and followed them both down the street, where the rest of your team waited.  

Emily snorted, nudging JJ with her arm. “Told you he was going to cockblock them.” 

“Emily,” Hotch said sternly, but his mouth betrayed him with a little smile.  

“C'mon, pretty boy.” Derek dragged Spencer to the bar as you followed them inside. “Let's drink the night away to make you forget about seeing your girl's ex, who has the greenest eyes I've ever seen—” 

Your lips parted in astonishment.  

“Hey!” JJ warned him. “Stop that. C'mon, leave him alone you've teased him enough with this.” 

Spencer looked at you, lips pulling into a smile at the scowl you were sending Derek as he walked away with JJ and Emily beside him.

“It's alright,” Spencer mumbled, nudging you to a corner as your team scattered around to find a table for eight. “He's just playing around and I'm not threatened by light-colored eyes, anyway. They're overrated.”  

You huffed out a laugh, surprised at his nonchalant claim.  

"Good." You were so close that your breaths mixed, his eyes falling to your lips and rising to your eyes again. You pulled him flush against your body by the belt loops of his pants, earning a shaky exhale from his parted soft lips. "Cause... You know," you pressed a kiss against his jaw. "There's nothing you should be threatened about. I'm pretty certain of that." 

"You are?" Spencer realized how pathetic he sounded and how needy he was starting to look.  

"I am, angel," you reaffirmed in his ear, leaning forward to kiss him. Before it got too heated, you smirked against his lips, pushing him away gently as he groaned in protest. "Okay, we can pick this up later tonight, now let's celebrate a bit with them, yeah?" 

Spencer sighed, burying his face into your neck for a second and drawing it back to glance at the table their friends chose. It was in a corner of the room, across from where they were currently... talking.  

"Okay."  

"Don't sound too excited." 

"Shut up," he grabbed one of your hands and pulled around his hip at the same time his arm lifted to wrap around your shoulders. "You know what I'm excited about-" he pretended to cough upon gaining a light slap on his back as a warning for him to shut up before any of your friends could hear the implication his words were carrying.  

As soon as you arrived at the table, Emily placed a shot before you, claiming you were late for the party. You smiled apologetically at the brunette, bringing the vodka shot to your lips and downing it in one go, gaze locked to your boyfriend's beside you. Oh, this was going to be a long night. 

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taglist: @lvtilzs ; @inexplicableeee ; @fkapluto ; @nellxsies

[adoreeenina]

For You, I’ll Risk It All

Part one: High School Crush

-Series Masterlist-

Relationship: DBF! Hank Voight x Plus Size! Olinsky! Reader

WC: 7.3k

Series Summary: He is corrupted and vicious, nothing but a dirty cop. At least that's what you've been told by your mother. You hated him and you weren't afraid to show it at the slightest, but that all changed when he protected you from going to jail when you were 18.

Coming back from New York after five years, you decided to live for yourself for once.

You didn't expect it would start by falling for Hank Voight.

You know your dad's best friend.

Being one of the well known detective’s daughter has its perks, the main one is protection from anyone and anything, the second anyone hears your last name, they quickly back off, knowing what to come of them if they even lay a finger on you; but it also has its downfalls. One of them involving dating.

Anyone who you brought home were intimidated by him almost immediately, you’re pretty sure they know about your fathers being a dirty cop, or atleast the whispers.

Yes. You knew about it, you always known since you were thirteen. You remember the late night arguments between your parents, you would be sitting down on top of the stairs and listen. They weren’t exactly being quiet, atleast your mother wasn’t. Your father trying to calm her down or atleast keep it quiet before you or your sister wake up. Since then, you try to keep your sister Lexi in the dark as much as you can, she doesn’t need to know how many people your father killed.

And that’s where Hank comes in. You haven’t met him yet or seen him. Your mother always mentions him in almost every argument she has with your father. Blaming him for getting your father involved in his dirty work and maybe one day getting himself killed because of it. And that thought scared you.

You were sixteen when you met Hank for the first time. It was the middle of your summer break. Your sister wanted to go to summer camp and your mom volunteered to be one of the chaperones, and the offered you to be home alone most of the time when your father works.

On the rare days when your father gets those days off, he spends them with you. You were having a movie night. Your father let you choose, you decided on a horror movie, Conjuring. You were in the kitchen making popcorn, one with kettle corn powder and the other with white cheddar.

You were making your way to the living room when the door bell rings. Startling you, you pause mid step, you look up the stairs where your father is doing god knows what.

Then you remembered your dad ordered pizza from the closest pizzeria 15 minutes ago. Your stomach grumbled when you thought of food, and you couldn't wait to dig in.

Walking the rest of your way to the living room, you place the bowls of popcorn down on the coffee table. Grabbing money out of your dad’s wallet, you quickly walk over to the front door.

Opening the door, ready to hand the delivery person the money, but pause when you see an unfamiliar man you’ve never seen before.

The man before you stood about 5’10, cropped black brown hair that was greying from the temples upwards and brown eyes that considered you carefully. He had the jaw line of a Greek God.

He looks down at you with a raised brow in confusion. Why the hell is he looking at you like that? If anyone should be staring like that should be you.

He scans you and you only just now realize what you are wearing. Or lack of what you are wearing. In your blue Cookie Monster pajamas shorts and an oversized black shirt that hangs on your left shoulder.

Feeling a little selfconscious by the way he’s looking at you, you subconsciously pull down your pajamas shorts down.

Pushing your feelings aside, you cross your arms across your chest and glare at the man trying to be intimidating but it only amuses him.

“Can I help you?” You ask not caring how rude you might’ve sound.

You could’ve sworn you saw the corner of his mouth twitch as though trying to stifle a smirk, after silently considering you for a few more painful seconds, he decided to speak.

“Hank Voight. I’m looking for Alvin.” your brows raised up slightly at the name.

“Sorry. you must got the wrong house. I don’t know any Alvin.”

He hums in the back of his throat, the only acknowledgement he gave to your answer.

If he is who he says he is, you don’t want him here at all. You only know what your mother said about him. He’s nothing but a dirty cop. Your mother would be infuriated if she were here.

“You sure?” He squints at you, obviously giving you a chance to be honest with him.

You give him a sarcastic smile, “I’m sure.” taking a step back, you grab onto the door to close it, “Sorry you didn’t find what you were looking for” you fake being sympathetic. “Bye bye.” you wave as you close the door with a smile.

“Y/n!” You hear your dad’s fast footsteps rushing behind you to stop the door from closing, grabbing the door to allow it to fully open.

“What?” You faux innocence. Your dad looks down at you with a stern look obviously not buying it.

Turning to face Hank with apologetic grin, “Sorry. My daughter can be a little asshole.”

“Dad!” You gasp with a glare his way.

Hearing Hank chuckle under his breath made you snap your head at his direction and glare.

Spurred by annoyance, you contemplate just slamming the door to his face, the scolding you might get be damned.

“Why the hell is he doing here?” Your face scrunch up as you wave your arm at Hank’s direction.

“Alright, Y/n that’s enough.” your dad grabs you by your bicep and tugs you away from the door.

“You know mom won’t like it if she finds out he’s here.” you whisper. Your dad sighs, glancing at Hank before dragging you to the kitchen.

“That’s why we won’t tell mom.”

“What?”

“Look sweetheart-“

“Are you leaving?” You cut him off. His face softened hearing the distressed pain in your question.

“Y/n-“

“You promised you would spend the day with me. I miss spending time with you, I never get to see you. All you focus on is your stupid job…. Is this why mom made you move to the garage?”

Alvin was lost for words. He should’ve known better he’s oldest daughter would’ve caught on with all the fight and late discussion he had with Meredith. It hurt him the way Meredith looks at him but it hurts even seeing the broken look in your eyes.

“Y/n.” he reaches his out to you, making you take a step back. Feeling betrayed and hurt.

“Actually, You know what dad? You can do whatever you need to do. Clearly I’m not your first priority.” pulling your arm out of his grip, you move past him, and grab your phone from the table.

“Y/n!” Alvin calls behind you, but you ignore his calls, not giving a glance towards the door, knowing Hank is still there waiting. You rush up the stairs to your room, slamming the door behind you.

You might’ve been dramatic, overthinking, or overreacting, but since that day, your relationship with your dad hasn’t been the same. You’ve always been daddy’s girl, so it hit you pretty hard not having that kind of relationship with him anymore. But you were tired of being put a side and not being a priority, you miss spending those days where it’s just the two of you, it could be him taking you shopping,or taking you to the ice cream parlor, or just taking to the park.

Now, it’s like you don’t even have a father, at least one that’s present in your life. Not only is your relationship with your dad went downhill, your mom isn’t any better.

Your mother can be a bit overbearing at times. At least with you. Mostly about your weight. She always been pretty brazen about her opinion on your body. Telling you to lose weight by going to the gym, go on a diet, even going as far to suggest some supplements she seen on TikTok that could help you(which you know are BS).

You’ve always been a big girl, even when you were a little girl. Though you went through puberty pretty early in your life, your curves came in and shaped your body beautifully.

You love your body, you might get a little self conscious about it from time to time but what girl doesn’t? You learned pretty early on you might not be everyone type but you might be someone’s type and that was enough to give you confidence about your plump figure.

Now how your luck has it, you actually know Hank’s son Justin and adopted daughter Erin Lindsay though you didn’t know it at the time. You went to school with them, Erin is a little older than you but Justin is the same age as you.

Now back to your father’s best friend. After your first meeting, you started to hold a little grudge against him.

But it seems like luck isn’t on your side when you keep crossing paths with him once or twice. More since you became close friends with Justin and Erin. Though you you try your best to never interacted with him. Yeah, you might’ve been a little brat about that.

Once Erin graduated, she went straight to the Police Academy, wanting to follow Hank’s footsteps. That left you spending most of your time with Justin. Who would’ve thought you spending so much time together would’ve led you to lose your virginity to Justin Voight.

But sadly it wasn’t mind blowing like you had thought. Your girl friends always talked about how their first time was magical, even went into to much details. Now that you think about it, maybe it was all bullshit to make themselves look better in front of your friend group.

Though you can’t put the full blame on Justin, he has a decent size penis and tried to make you feel good, even tried to put your pleasure over his own. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t good either. After that, you two decided to just stay friends and act like it never happened, which you were glad it didn’t mess up your friendship.

There’s also one big thing you learned about yourself pretty early on… you liked men. Older men. Old enough to be your father.

You always knew you liked older men but being under aged is what stopped you most of the time. You were flirted with by older men more than boys your age.

And you liked it. You liked it a lot.

You liked the attention they’ve given you, they were shameless and wasn’t afraid to get what they want. They didn’t care about how much you weigh or what size of clothes you are.

You didn’t know what to was about men that really turns you on. It could be the deep voice. Salt and pepper hair. The way men could get protective of you. Or maybe it could be they are experienced.

You need a man who can teach you a thing or two.

Now, you did an amazing job of avoiding Hank but that couldn’t be avoided when you were eighteen.

Justin💙: Party 2night?

You: Fuck Yes!!! You’re picking me up, right???

Justin💙: What about your parents?

You: Told them I’m going over to your place. Besides they won’t even notice. Mom is out with Lexi and Dad is most likely drinking and watching TV

Justin💙: You sure?

You: It’s the only way I’m going

You: What should I wear?

Justin💙: Something Sexy🥴🤤

You: I’m serious Justin😂

Justin💙: What are my options then?

You:

Justin💙: Fuck🫠😩

Justin💙: The red one. Definitely the red one

Justin💙: And wear those heels that makes your legs look so sexy🥴

You:😘

With a smile, you toss your phone to your bed and make your way to your bathroom to take a quick shower.

Today is supposed to be the best day. You’ll graduate the end the week. Which means you’re done with the people you could care less from High School completely.

Tonight you’re going to party. One of your classmates is having at party at his place while his parents are away for their anniversary.

Getting out the bathroom in only a robe and a towel over your head. You sit down in front of your vanity and do your makeup as natural as you can, you’ll be sweating and drinking, you need your makeup to last all night and not look cakey.

You look at the time and quickly put on a pair of biker shorts and a zip up hoodie. Grabbing your backpack, you place your dress, heels, and purse inside, along with your perfume and extra makeup to finish yourself up.

Justin will be coming by to pick you up in his car. Everything was set and making it home from school the excitement made you zone out.

Your phone flashes signaling you Justin has texted you.

Justin💙: I’m outside

Throwing your bag over your shoulder, you race down the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Your dad stops you before you could reach the door. He is sitting on the couch with his feet prompt up on the coffee table with a beer in hand, watching TV.

“Over to Justin’s. I told you already.”

“He’s picking you up?”

“Yes.”

“Just the two of you? Alone?”

“Dad.” you groan, “I’m eighteen, you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“That may be true.” you watch as he gets up from the couch with a grunt and stands in front of you, “but you’ll always be my baby girl. No matter what.” He smiles sweetly at you.

You give him a sincere smile. Even though your relationship has been somewhat strained, moments like these is what you cherish the most.

“I love you. C’mere. ” he pull you in for a bear hug.

“I love you too, dad.” you smile into his chest. Alvin presses a kiss on your head then leans his head back to look at you.

“What?” You question. He tilts his head with furrowed brows.

“Are you wearing makeup?”

“Dad!” You whine as you cover your face to hide how embarrassed you are.

Your phone rings once more, another message from Justin telling you to hurry your ass up.

“I gotta go. Justin is waiting for me.”

“He’s outside?”

“Mhmm.” you hum, looking down at your phone messaging Justin back. Your dad nudges you to the door.

“Bye dad.” you peck his cheek.

“Bye baby.”

“Hey, Justin!” Your dad waves once he opens the door allowing you to leave.

“Hey, Mr. Olinsky!” Justin waves back through the open window of the car.

“Better take care of her!”

“Oh I will. Don’t you worry!” Justin winks at you.

“Oh my god.” you roll your eyes at Justin, waving bye at your dad, you get in the back of Justin car.

“Why you sitting in the back?” Justin looks at you through the rear view mirror.

“Hey! Eyes on the road, pretty boy.” you reach from the back seat and hit the back of Justin’s head “I’m changing.”

“Why don’t you wear the dress under your clothes like any normal girl”

“Cause I’m not normal, you should know that by now.”

You unzip the thin jacket you have on and pull it down your shoulders. You’re wearing an adhesive bra, to hold up your heavy breast while wearing the dress that reveals your shoulders.

“Damn.”

“Fucker!” you hiss. Zipping open your backpack, you grab your dress, putting the sleeves of your dress on first, “I said no peaking.”

Justin lets out a low chuckle, keeping his eyes on the road once more.

Placing the dress over your head, you tug it down to your waist. You pull down your shorts and throw them in your backpack, then tug down the rest of your dress down to your mid thigh. Lastly the best for last, you strap on your heels.

“What did you tell your dad, when you left?” You ask to break the silence.

“Nothing. He’s working late. He doesn’t know I’m gone.”

“My, my, what a naughty boy you are, Justin. I might have to punish you.” you lean forward against the center console to look at the side profile of Justin.

“Shut up.” he laughs.

“You know… I might not like your dad but I can’t deny that he’s hot.” you tease.

“Of course you would say that.” Justin face scrunches up in disgust making you laugh, “I forgot how you prefer older men.”

“Yep! And it’s thanks to you.”

“Hey! I wasn’t that bad!”

“You weren’t good either.”

“You’re such a fucking bitch.” Justin shakes his head with a laugh.

“Yeah but you still love me though.” you smile smugly at him.

“Unfortunately.” you slap his shoulder making him recoil away from you with a smile.

Justin parks the car a little further than the house since the road was already cut off from how many cars were parked. ‘Rack City’ by Tyga burst through the loudspeakers, you could feel the vibration in your entire body.

Justin being the gentleman that he is with you, opens the door for you. He helps you of the car and steady you in your heels. He tugs down the back of your dress as he closes the door. You thanked him.

Justin places his hand on your lower back and guides you to the house full of people.

“Woo!!! Senior graduates!!!” You hear someone cheers running into the house.

“Woo!!!” Justin mimics next to you, he wraps his arm around your shoulder pulling close to his side.

Entering the house, the place is decorated in the school colors of blue and black streamers, paper graduation caps hanging from the end of a stream decorates in various places in the ceiling, different color lights shine brightly in different rooms of the house. The party is awesome.

“Yo, Justin! Glad you could make it bro!” Mickey steps in front of the both of you, he hands Justin a drink.

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Justin chugs down whatever alcohol was in the cup like it was nothing.

“N/n you look scrumptious as ever.” Mickey smirks at you.

“Bite me.” you roll your eyes, showing your disinterest at his attempt of flirting.

“I will if-“

“Hey what did I say?” Justin points a threatening finger against Mickey’s chest.

“Sorry.” Mickey raises his hands up, palms out.

Yeah, Justin is over protective of you, that’s much is clear. He’s basically one of the reasons why no one never really picked on you. They were afraid of Justin, he has just as much of a reputation as his father.

The last time a guy tried to pick on you ended up with a concussion and Justin suspended.

Not only is he over protective of people picking on you, he’s also over protective when it comes to guys flirting with you. He acts like an older brother wanting to protect his younger sister’s innocence, which is kinda weird to you since he was the one that took your virginity.

“Y/n!!!” You hear someone suddenly screech and jumps on you wrapping their arms around you.

“Bitch!” You groan at the added weight. You thank the lord for Justin holding you up if not you would’ve fell and everyone would’ve gotten an eyeful.

Recognizing the blue hair, you instantly knew it was Gwen.

Gwen pulls herself away from you, her hands on your shoulder and her eyes gaze up and down at your figure with a smirk.

“You look hot, babe.”

“Thanks Gwen.” you laugh at her bluntness.

“C’mon the others are waiting for you.” she grabs your wrist to tug you along with her.

“Hey!” Justin shouts offensively, throwing his arms up.

“Relax, pretty boy. We’ll be by the pool so you know where she’s at. Geez he acts like he’s your boyfriend or something.” Gwen rolls her eyes.

You smile sheepishly at Justin who doesn’t stop glaring at Gwen. You let Gwen take you to the back of the house where the pool is.

There you meet up with Daniel, Jacky, Sean, and Kate.

“Y/n Olinsky at a house party. Never thought I’ll see the day. I didn’t take you the type to be into this kind of thing. I thought clubs will be more your thing.” Daniel grins.

“Hey if theres alcohol involved I’m coming.”

“Speaking of coming. Here.” Kate hands you a red cup, “its squirt with tequila.”

“You’re the best.” you take the drink and chug it down, wincing a little at the after taste of the tequila but that’s to the soda it keeps it at bay.

Two hours into the party, you’ve danced with your friends, watched the guys play beer pong, and the people who are at the pool.

You, Jacky, and Gwen decided to take a break from the party and sit down on the steps of the porch to get some air that doesn’t smell like sweat and alcohol.

“What you planning on doing after high school?” Ask Jacky before she sips the rest of her alcohol.

“I don’t know about y’all but I’m ain’t going to college. I just want to travel around the world with my cat. I could do it, you know. I could just get a random job, buy a bus, buy the supplies, and just remodel it. I could just work online.”

“That’s sounds badass.” you respond to Gwen.

“What about you?” Gwen turns the question to you. You shrug.

“I got accepted in NYU Groosman School of Medicine.” you mutter. You hear the two girls squeal making you wince.

“Dude isn’t that your dream school?”

“It is.”

“Then why does it sound like you aren’t excited about it?”

“Maybe because I don’t want to go to the medical field. The whole reason I even applied was because I wanted to get out of here and be on my own. My mom wanted me go to a college close by but I want to be independent and be on my own.” you sigh.

You’ve been understandably stressed out. You wanted to get out of your parents house and be independent but you also don’t want to be away from home. You don’t want to leave Lexi alone with your overbearing mom, you know your dad would be there but he’s too busy with work to be at home most of the time.

You didn’t think you’ll be accepted to NYU. It has a reputation of being one of the hardest colleges to be accepted in. The only reason you applied is because you were good in Biology, Chemistry, Physics, and Calculus. Your teachers always encouraged you in the medical field so that’s what you did but now you’re starting to regret your decision.

“You know what you need?” Gwen looks directly at you.

“What’s that?” You answered, taking a sip from the cup in your hand.

“To get laid.”

The way that you choked on your drink was undignified and most unlady-like.

You glare at Jacky and at Gwen who was smirking. Jacky patted your back, sympathetically.

Surprisingly, the thumping music vibrated through your body, calming your mind. The alcohol also helped!

“First of all,” you clear your throat, “I get laid plenty, thank you very much. Second, how did we go from talking about our future to getting me laid?”

“Your still fucking that fire fighter?” Question Jacky

“Oh yeah.”

“I wonder what your dad would say if he ever finds out.” teases Gwen with a knowing smirk

“He will say nothing cause it’s none of his business.” you roll your eyes.

“Not if he finds out which one it is.” Jacky grins down at her cup.

“Maybe.” you shrug

“Dude, what is it with cops and firefighters having a war against each other?”

“Right? What’s up with that?”

“Who knows.” you shrug, “i think-“

“Shh!” Gwen shushes you, “ya hear that?”

Just as when Gwen says that, you hear the distance sound of police sirens. Leaning forward, in the distance you see the red and blue flashing lights.

“COPS!!!”

Just like that everything runs into chaos. Everyone runs around trying to get out of the house and make a run for it.

Everyone is drunk as fuck to even run straight. So were you but you were sober enough to get up and run in the house to look for Justin.

“Justin!” You shout over the crowd of people. You stand on your tippy toes to look over the crowd but couldn’t find him.

"Y/n, what are you doing?” Mickey suddenly appears in front of you, his eyes wide. He quickly takes your hand. "We gotta go."

“But Justin-“

“He’ll be fine. C’mon there’s no time.” you nod, letting him pull you out of the house.

The house is still half empty of drunk teenagers as the cops surrounds the house, but that doesn’t stop Mickey from making a run for it with you behind him.

“Freeze! Stop where you are!”

“Shit!” Mickey curses.

“Hey Cal, there’s alcohol surrounding the place. These kids been drinking.”

Of course someone called the cops on the party, what a cliche.

“Arms in the air and turn around. Slowly.”

Doing as your told. Two cops you don’t recognize, walks towards the two of you.

One reached for the cuffs at his belt, quickly grabbing you by the elbow and cuffs your wrist in front of you. He grabs you by your elbow leading you to a police car.

“Hey!” You whine from the tight grip of his hand on you.

“Keep moving.”

“Calm it, I’m in heels, asshole.” you snap at him.

Opening the door, the cop pushes your head down as you get in, the other cop pushes Mickey in next to you.

“Fuck. My dad is going to kill me.” you quietly groan, throwing your head back. You look out the window seeing some other kids being dragged into different cop cars.

The drive to the police station was a blur. The same cop drags you out of the car with Mickey behind you.

Seeing the familiar silver haired woman with her normal stern face in the front desk, you keep your head down so she won’t recognize you.

“You have to be so rough?!” You glare at the cop as he pushes you down on a chair and cuffs your left hand on the armrest, “is that really necessary?”

The cop ignores you, he walks away with your confiscated purse in his hand.

“Hey asshole, watch it!” you turn your toward the noise to see Mickey being dragged, the cop shoves him down in the chair next to you.

“Both of you wait here till we get back.”

“Like we have much of a choice.” you bite back. The cop gives you a look before leaving.

“Fuck man.” Mickey groans next to you.

“Tell me about it. I had to get arrested wearing this.” you point at your red dress. Compared to the plain looking police station, you stand out like a sore thumb.

“Could be worse.” Mickey smirks down at you.

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“You could look like him.” Mickey points at what looks like a man in women’s clothing. Is that a prostitute?

“Oh my god, Mickey! Don’t point!” you scold him and pinch his side with your hand that isn’t restraint.

“Ow okay!” he laughs as he tries to get away from you.

“Hank, you’re still here?” You overhear Trudy, you lean over slightly to see none other than Hank.

“Fuck.” you groan.

“I thought you left with the others.”

“Nah. I needed to get some paper work done first.”

“You know him?” Mickey looks between you and Hank.

“Yeah that’s Justin’s dad also my dad’s best friend. Quick make yourself big so he won’t see me.”

“Babe,” Mickey deadpans at you, “your dress is a far cry compared to everything here. He’ll notice you even if I try to cover you.”

“Shut up and do as your told.” you shove him.

“Hey!”

“Alright.” the police officer from before walks up to the two of you. “I’ll need your name”

“Y/n.” he writes it down.

“Last name?”

You hesitate, “Olinsky.” you mumble.

The police officer pauses, he gazes down at you before letting out a hearty laugh, “Olinsky? You’re Alvin’s daughter?” You wince at how loud he’s being, “No fucking way.”

Well so much for being discreet. If Hank didn’t know you were here now he does.

You shift in your seat uncomfortably, your eyes gaze around the room before hiding your face behind you hand. Trying to make yourself small as possible.

“Y/n?” You hear the all familiar gravelled husky voice of Hank. You look up to see Hank gaze on you with a raised brow. You two make eye contact for a split second, before you break it.

“You got to be fucking kidding me.” you mumble, sliding down your chair slightly and cover your eyes with your hand.

You want the floor to swallow you whole.

“What’s going on here?” Hank question the officer.

“Someone called about a house party. These kids been drinking.” You roll your eyes at the officers matter of fact tone.

“Is that right?” Hank gaze goes back to you, his expression hard to read, making you feel uneasy.

God kill me now. Please.

“Apparently this one right here is Al’s daughter.”

“I’ll take her off your hands and take it from here.

Mickey sits quietly next to you with raised brow, astonished. He looks at you and mouths ‘what the fuck’.

“Uhh Sarge, I don’t think-“ one hard look from Hank made him reconsider. “Okay. No problem.”

“Uncuff her.”

“Sure. Okay.”

You watch silently as the officer stumbles a little with the keys and takes off your handcuff. You sigh as you rub your wrist in relief from its tight bounds.

“Let’s go.” Hank gestures for you to get up with his fingers.

“Did you have anything with you before you got arrested?”

“Yeah my purse. It has my phone and wallet in it.”

Hank turns to the police officer.

“Where’s her purse?”

“It’s confiscated in a storage location.”

“Get someone to bring me her belongings and her arrest charges. I’ll be in my office.”

“Yes Sarge.”

He grabs you by the elbow, more gently than the cop did and . You both barely made it half way to wherever he planned on taking you when you start to protest.

“Hey! Wait a second! I’m not going anywhere with you.” you yank your arm out of his grip.

You watch the way Hank clenches his jaw as he looks at you, losing his patience with your bratty attitude, but you don’t shy away from his stare.

“For once, be a good girl and do what I say. Al might tolerate your attitude but I surely won’t.�� Hank retorts, his eyes never leaving yours, a shiver going down your spine at his dark tone.

“Now move it, princess.” you roll your eyes at the pet name and begrudgingly let Hank lead you with a hand on the small of your back.

Hank leads you up the stairs to the bullpen and into his office. Opening the door, he allows you to enter first before he does and closes the door behind him.

“Sit down.” At his sharp tone, you oblige instantly with no arguement from you.

Besides your dad, Hank could be scary at times but you do have a tendency of pushing a little too far.

Hank not once takes his eyes off you, he stands in front of his desk. Hank leans back against it with arms cross against his chest.

“Does Al know where you are?”

“What do you think?”

“What the hell were you thinking?”

“Excuse me?”

“You could’ve gotten yourself arrested. You going to graduate on Friday and this is how act? You could’ve ruin your chances for college education.”

“Why does it matter to you?”

“Al told me you got accepted into NYU. You really want to ruin that by getting arrested for underage drinking?”

“Who are you to be getting after me? You’re not my dad.”

“No I’m not. But I am someone who cares about you. I know you don’t like me, Y/n. You made that perfectly clear. But your Al’s daughter and my son’s friend. I protect my own and that includes you!”

You and Hank don’t break eye contact. Both waiting for the other to break first.

“Sargent.?” someone knocks on the door before opening it and entering.

“Yeah?” Hank switches his gaze away from you to the officer who just entered.

“Here’s her belonging and her case file you asked for.” the officer hands hank a yellow folder and your purse.

“Is this all?”

“Yes sir.”

“Thanks.” the officer nods and leaves, closing the door once again.

Hank walks around his desk looking through the file before slamming it shut and throw it the trash making your eyes widen.

Did he really just throw away your arrest charges down the trash?

Hank drops down into his chair behind his desk, not taking his eyes off you. Almost challenging you to say something.

“Why?” Is you could ask.

“Consider this me offering you a truce.”

“Truce? For what?”

“I want us to get along. And I’ll start by doing this.”

You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t think he would basically erase your arrest charges. If anything you thought he would use this to blackmail you or something.

“Are you going to tell my dad?”

He leans back in his chair, fingers interlacing across his mid-section as he considers you for a few moments before replying.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

Wow. You didn’t expect that. Hank just keeps surprising more and more. You assumed he would call your dad the second he saw you handcuffed in the police station.

“How much did you drink?”

“What?”

“You’ve been drinking haven’t you?”

“Yes.”

“How much?”

“If you’re asking if I’m drunk. No I’m not. I only drank two or three cups but they weren’t strong. I was tipsy when the cops came. I got sober pretty fast when an officer roughly pushed me in the police car.”

“Who?”

“Who what?”

“The officer. Who was the officer that arrested you?”

“I don’t know. He had a pornstache that you see only in bad pornos.” you shrug.

Hank smirks amused at your answer.

“You still feel a little tipsy?”

“A little.”

“Okay.” suddenly Hank stands up from his chair and walks around his desk, grabbing your purse along the way and hands it to you, “let’s go.”

“Wait what?” You were taken back. You stumble over yourself trying to stand up.

“Where we going?”

“To sober you up.”

“I said I was a little tipsy.”

“I don’t care. Let’s go.” once again Hank places his hand in the small of your back to lead you out of his office. He turns off the light and closes the door, locking it.

You walk close behind him down the stairs. Hank stands on your right side, guiding you to the front entrance.

“Heading out for the night, Trudy.”

“Alright. See ya in the morning.”

Stepping outside, he leads you to his SUV. Walking to the passanger side, Hank opens the door and helps you before closing the door behind you once you sat down comfortably.

You reach for the seat belt buckling yourself up, you sit silently watching out the window with your purse on your lap.

The driver side door opens and Hank gets in. He takes a deep breath before shoving the keys in the keyhole and turn on the SUV.

The entire drive was in complete silence. You start to feel a little awkward being in close proximity with Hank. You never been alone with him before.

“Where we going?”

“There’s a diner close by that’s open 24/7.”

“Why we going there?”

“You need something in your stomach other than whatever alcohol you were drinking.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“I told you, I protect my own and that includes you”

For the rest of the ride you kept your mouth shut. Arriving the diner, Hank gets out first, walking around the front of the SUV and opens the door, holding his hand out to help you down.

Such a gentlemen. Now you know where Justin gets it from.

Once the both of you enter the diner, you both get seated in a booth. Hank sitting across from you.

Looking around the place, it’s practically empty, reminding how late it must be. You have yet to check the time.

A woman in her late 30s maybe mid 40s walks towards your table, “Hello, my name is Rachel and I’ll be you waitress” she place down two menus infront of you and Hank.

“Before we start, will the check be separate or together?”

“It’ll be sep-“

“Together.” Hank cuts you off. Your brows raised as you look at him.

Not only did this man saved you from getting arrested, he’s also buying you food.

“Okay, want to start off with drinks?”

“You have sweet tea?”

“Mhmm, we do”

“I’ll take that”

“I’ll get the same thing.”

“Alright. You two ready to order or do you want time to look at the menu.”

“We’ll take the cheeseburger with everything on both and fries.” Hank tells the waitress. She lets out a soft okay, writing it down. She grabs the two menus before leaving, letting you and Hank be alone once more.

“You’re buying me food too?”

“I’m a gentleman.” he retorts making you shake your head with a laugh.

“Well now I know where Justin gets it from.” you grin at him, you place your elbow on the table with your on the palm of your hand.

“Speaking of Justin, was he at the house party with you? You two always been thick as thieves for as long as I can remember.”

“Will he get in trouble if I say he was?”

“Only for leaving you alone to get arrested.”

“He didn’t leave me alone.” you defend Justin, “we were separated with our different group of friends when the cops showed up. I was looking for him but Mickey stopped me and tried to get us out of the house but the cops caught us.”

“The boy that was sitting next to you at the station?”

“Yeah.”

“Here’s your drinks,” the waitress comes back with two cups of sweet tea, “and your burger and fries.” she places down two plates in front of you and Hank, “enjoy.” she leaves.

“My dad told you about me going to NYU?” You mention, stuffing a couple of fries in your mouth, remembering Hank mentioning it back at the station.

“He did. He’s really proud of you. Had the biggest smile on his face when he told me.”

You couldn’t help but smile at that. You knew how excited your dad was about you being accepted to one of the best colleges, you also knew how he didn’t like how you would be moving far away from home but he won’t voice it. He knows this could be big for you.

Your mom is whole another story. She’s been trying to change your mind from going since you gotten the letter.

“Same can’t be said about my mother.” you mutter, taking a sip from your cup.

“Yeah Alvin told me about that too.” Hank sighs, shifting in his seat.

“She’s unbearable. Did my dad tell you she blames him for me leaving?”

“She what?” His eyes widen, telling you your dad hasn’t said a word about it.

“Yep. This whole time I thought my dad was the problem but it turns out it’s my mom. Or both.” you shrug

“Is that why you sneaked out to go to a party?”

“Technically… I didn’t sneak out. My dad saw me leave… but he was drinking when I left but he wasn’t drunk.” you tried to plead your case.

“Did you tell him you were going to a party?”

“No.” you play with your straw.

“Did he see you leave in that?” he points at your dress.

“No.” you mutter in between sips.

“Then you were sneaking out. Did Justin park at the end of the street to pick you up?”

“That’s such a fucking cliche,” you laugh, “he parked in front of my house. My dad saw him and even said hi.”

You smile when Hank lets out laugh and shakes his head at you.

“Why are you being nice to me? I’ve been nothing but a bitch to you since the moment we met.” you start to feel guilty.

Even when you started to hang out with Justin and Erin more, you would sometimes go over to their house. Hank for the most part would stay out of the way but he’s been nothing but kind and caring to you when you stayed over. Now you feel like a complete bitch.

You really let your mother’s words brainwash you into thinking Hank is the devil or something. But he’s far from it. At least with you.

You’re not naive, you know what Hank does in the dark where no one sees, but that’s doesn’t stop him from being gentle and caring to the people he holds dear to him.

You’re surprised one of them is you.

“I know your mom don’t like me. Al mentioned once or twice she argues a lot about me involving him in certain situations. I’m not denying they aren’t true but-“

“It’s okay.” you cut him off, “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’m not a kid anymore, I know what’s goes on around me. I know you and my dad -maybe your entire squad- do behind the scene. I know you’ve killed people. it doesn’t scare me.”

“It should, sweetheart.”

“But it doesn’t. You only do it cause you care. You don’t hurt innocent people. You just take justice in your own hands. You just do what others aren’t willing to do. I could respect that.”

Hank hums, considering you for moment before speaking.

“You’re something else, you know that.” he grins making you smile.

Finishing off your meals, Hank pays for both your meals. Once again being a gentleman, he walks you to the passenger side and opens the door for you to get in.

Hank slows down and parks in front of your house. You look out the window to see all the lights in the house are off, telling you everyone should be asleep by now. Giving you the chance to sneak in without being seen.

“Listen,” hearing Hank’s voice, your turn your to look at him, “I know you’re scared about moving away from home but do me a favor.”

“What kind of favor?” You squint your eyes at him.

“Take care yourself in New York.” he says softly and he genuinely means it by the way he looks at you.

“I will.” you gently smile at him. Hank shifts in his seat and opens the center console, grabbing a card handing it to you.

“Here.”

“What is it?”

“My business card. It has my office and my personal number. Don’t be afraid to call me if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Hank.”

“Go inside. You should give Justin a call to let him know you’re alright. He’s probably worried about you.”

“I will.” You smile before leaning over and giving him a small kiss on the cheek, “Goodnight, Hank.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart. Take care.” You nod before getting out of his SUV. Hank softly smiles as he watches you round the SUV.

“Hey!” Hank calls for you, making you turn around. “don’t tell your dad you were with me.”

“It’ll be our little secret.” you wink. Hank shakes his head amusingly. He waits a little longer till you enter the house. The second the front door closes, he drives off.

(This took so long to write but I’m happy how it turned out. Please don’t be shy to let me know what you think. I love reading your comments.

Can anyone guess who the fire fighter reader is sleeping with? Anyone who guesses right gets a cookie🍪)

[isimpfortoomanypeople]

I loved your high school sweethearts imagine and I was hoping if you could do that with Nate jacobs? But like Nate and the reader have 3 kids ( 2 boys 1 girl the girl being the youngest) and the reader is pregnant again with another boy so like the little girl is Nate’s little princess? :)

Till death do us part- Nate Jacobs x female reader

Spending your high school years in an off and on again relationship wasn’t how you would imagine high school to be. 7years later your best friend Lexi invites you to her engagement party, now the real question is are you and Nate still together?

Warnings: the reader and Nate having a bad relationship in high school, brief smut MDI (I needed it to set the beginning of the story), alcohol, mentions of Cal, toxic masculinity (for context wise Maddy didn’t date Nate in this) super fluffy Nate towards the end

A/N: aww thanks I’m glad that you loved high school sweethearts. I loved writing this, and it maybe a little bit self indulgent by having Lexi and Maddy being the reader’s best friends as they are my favourite characters. This is my first Euphoria fic so I hope that you enjoy it and I’ve done it justice. Sorry if some parts sound over British as I’m from the U.K. apologises for all spelling and grammatical mistakes as I’m super dyslexic, enjoy

You gasped for air rolling your eyes into the back of your head as Nate thrusted into you, moaning your name as he spilt his seed across your velvety walls.

You both panted as you recovered from your climax. Nate lifted his fingers brushing away the strands of hair that clutch to your forehead from the exhaustion you’ve just experienced. He pulled out of you, you both whimpered from the lack of contact.

“This shouldn’t happen again”

“Babe you say this every time”

You panted trying to regain your breath. Trying your hardest to regulate your breathing into a normal rhythm. Nate knew how to make you feel so good to the point that you were putty in his hands.

But you’ve been broken up for over 2 months you should allow yourself to move on but it’s hard when Nate narrows his eyes, locking you in his gaze swatting off all men that ever showed the slightest bit of interest in you.

You broke up for a reason as he was the biggest asshole you had ever met, he was controlling but yet you couldn’t let go. For Nate is a siren drawing you to your untimely death. With a face as pretty as his, he could make the grey thrashing waters appear blue and tranquil. One thing about Nate Jacobs was once you were under his spell it was impossible to escape.

“I mean it Nate, we’re supposed to be over. I can’t move on when you scare off every man who shows me the slightest bit of attention. I’m not yours anymore you have to let me go” you sighed, allowing your head to slump into the plush pillow of your bed. Pinching the bridge of your nose, praying that he actually got the message this time, not continuing this nauseating game of cat and mouse which had been happening for weeks with you always ending up underneath him.

“Babe..” his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his arms wrapped protectively over your body. Almost chaining you to the spot, limiting your movements, hoping to silence your following words.

“Nate I mean it. Please you’re going to have to let me go-“ your words were cut short by Nate throwing you out of his embrace, as if your body was a poison that burnt him to touch. He scurried around your room collecting his clothes from the heap on the floor , as when you were both deeply in the throes of lust to care where they ended up, you just needed the clothes off your body as soon as possible.

Nate made a point of crashing his foot upon the wooden floorboards with each step he took, over exaggerating how pissed off he truly was. Like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

His eyes couldn’t bare to look at yours, his jaw clenched so tightly together that a vein pulsed on the side of his forehead.

He said nothing as he exited your room, the only sound that broke the deafening silence was the loud slam of your door. You flinched upon hearing the loud slam and the rattle of the metal hinges, he slammed it with such ferocity you were amazed that your door was still in tack.

Safe to say that Nate got the message, he was finally going to leave you alone. You could finally move on, you wanted this right? So why does your heart feel like it’s crumbling into tiny pieces? Why are tears pouring down your face? And why do you feel empty, so incredibly empty and alone?

Y/N: I finally did it, he got the message. I can’t help but feel like I’ve made a mistake

Maddy: honey no, you haven’t made a mistake Nate Jacobs is a toxic asshole. He should of treated you right but he never did, it’s his loss to loose such an amazing person

Lexi: Y/N I agree with Maddie, don’t you ever let him make you feel like this was a mistake. You deserve way better and you can do way better

Y/N: why do I feel like this is a mistake though? I still love him and girls this hurts, this really fucking hurts

Lexi: oh Y/N :( I know it’s hard but you will get through this. I’ll be there in 5

Y/N: Lexi I can’t ask you to do that as you’re going on a date with Fez tonight

Lexi: too late I’m on my way, my girl needs me

Maddy: I’ll be there in 15, Ive snuck a bottle of my parents wine

Y/N: I love you guys so much <;3

The rest of the weekend was spent either pouring your heart out to your two friends, while Maddy continued to pour you drinks to help numb the pain. The pain didn’t lessen as each drink only made the hot tears come down like a torrential down pour. You couldn’t talk without your words becoming slurred by the overwhelming grief you felt for knowing that Nate is officially out of your life, but also from the copious amount of booze Maddy was supplying you with.

The two girls nodded sympathetically when they were needed to be, swigging back the bottle to try to conceal their true emotions about the situation. They were secretly overjoyed that you and that toxic asshole were no more.

They reassured you that it was the best thing to do, Lexi allowing you to curl up on your bed with your head in her lap. She stroked your hair, telling you that it was okay, not caring that your tears was dampening her jeans.

By the following Saturday the two were able to convince you to go to a party, claiming that this is the perfect way to finally get over him.

“Oh my fucking god! Y/N you look stunning!” Maddy gasped as you entered her bedroom, wearing her pastel blue dress , it just about covered your ass and boobs. But then again Maddy wouldn’t wear anything that left anything to the imagination, but if you have even an ounce of the confidence Maddy exudes you would too.

She wondered towards you and sprayed your whole body with a bottle of perfume , you had to take a step back as the floral smell was making you light headed. She moved your chin with her index finger admiring her handy work, she did the most intricate blue eyeliner with stick on pearls to truly accentuate your eyes.

“You look so hot” Maddy smirk lifting a shot glass full of clear liquid to your face. Weakly smiling as you shot back the glass that felt like it could have been filled with straight ethanol from your visceral reaction.

She whipped her phone out from her right pocket, holding you close to her as she angled her phone to capture you both in the most flattering angle. Maddie pouted her lips tilting her head to face yours, so unsure what to do in this situation that you followed precisely what Maddy did. She posted the photo on her story adding a caption saying “single and ready to mingle”

You reposted the photo on your story and not even a second after posting you swiped up out of curiosity to see who had viewed your story, straight away you saw

@nate.jacobs has viewed your story. Rolling your eyes, you threw your phone in your purse. Ready to forget about him for the night.

“You look amazing y/n” Lexi smiled bringing you into her embrace, her arms wrapped tightly around you.

“Thanks lex you too”

“Lex told me about you and Nate, I’m sorry about that. He’s an asshole and I have no problem punching him again if you need to” fez offered as he patted you on the shoulder. His jaw clenched as he said Nate’s name, swallowing down the anger he has for him.

“Thanks fez, as much as I’d love to see him with a bloodied nose again, I don’t think that will be necessary-“

As you finished your sentence it dwindled away into thin air as you locked eyes with Nate, who had his arm tightly wrapped around the shoulders of Cassie. When his eyes met yours, he placed a kiss to Cassie’s temple, as if to wound you for wounding him. He quickly looked away as they both walked towards the kitchen to search for something to drink.

You felt your body shaking in a mixture of anger and despair. Every mussel in your body strained as you were trying to contain yourself from punching Nate yourself.

Fuck you Nate Jacobs!

“Y/N are you okay-“

“Lex did you know?”

“No I didn’t Y/N I swear, I’m so sorry” Lexi desperately called after you but it was too late, as you slammed the front door behind you.

You leant against the side of the house, letting the tears you’ve been holding in slide down your face. You didn’t want to give Nate the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

It was a mistake you showing up tonight

—————————————————————————-

Y/N it’s me Lexi, I firstly want to apologise for losing contact with you after graduation. It was hard with you moving to college and I was dealing with Fez’s arrest and the death of ash. But I saw your mom when I was grocery shopping and she gave me your new number. Me and Fez got engaged, can you believe it? He proposed last week at this fancy restaurant. I wanted to invite you to our engagement party this Saturday. You can bring a plus one if you’re dating someone, I can’t wait to see you as I miss you.

“Who’s that babe?”

“Lexi just texted me, she’s inviting us to her and Fez’s engagement party this Saturday”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? She’s not exactly my biggest fan” Nate sighed, as he sunk down the couch beside you. Placing his hand on your thigh, rubbing soft circles on the fleshy part of your thigh. He chewed his lip as he was overthinking about every possible way this party could end in disaster.

You were the only one who could vouch that he wasn’t the same Nate Jacobs he was in high school. While they were all left with the bitter taste of his name in their mouths, despising the person he once was.

—————————————————————————-

“Y/N you coming to the graduation party?” Maddy asked, readjusting her cap that tilted to the side of her head, slightly messing up her perfectly styled curls.

“100%”

“Great come to mine for 8, Lexi and I are pregaming before our final ever high school party” Maddie squealed in excitement over the big day, you both are finally going to leave East Highland behind. She pressed her glossed lips on your cheek before running off to get some more pictures before the school kicked you out.

“Y/N can we talk?”

Your body stiffened momentarily, your nostrils flared as you forced yourself to breathe. Rolling your eyes as you prepared yourself to engage in conversation with the one person who you really didn’t want to speak to right now.

“I don’t have anything to say to you” you sighed, not even turning your back to look at him

“Y/N please?” Nate’s voice quivered as he was trying to compose his emotions. He was having an internal battle, he wanted to get on his knees begging for you to hear him out, but his dismissive tough outer exterior was telling him to run away to save his pride.

You turned around to face him, you could feel your eyes prick with tears as you look deep into his.

“What did you want to say?” You tried your damn hardest to sound cold with a dash of hostility, but looking in his eyes opened that part of your heart that you tried to kill. The part of your heart that still loves him. Looking into his deep hazel eyes it brought back all the emotions you tried to suppress.

Nate took a deep breath and swallowed down all the negative thoughts that tried to sway him from confessing how he truly feels. It’s hard when you’ve grew up with an emotionally absent, extremely toxic farther, that it’s hard to express your true emotions. His farther taught him how to only express anger, that men don’t allow themselves to cry, men speak with their fists or with their dicks. Cal was so heavily blinded by toxic masculinity that he couldn’t see the effect it has on his own son, or that he simply didn’t care. The most “love” he ever received from his dad was a pat on his back after he won a football game.

“I’m sorry” he pressed his lips into a thin line, closing his eyes to contain his tears. He felt his breathing hitch, being emotionally vulnerable felt uncomfortable that every part of him was screaming at him not to continue further. But he pushed all this down for you, he loves you and he can’t picture a life where you’re not in it.

“Nate I-“

“Please let me speak, I need to say this now otherwise it will eat me alive till the day I die” Nate choked back a sob as he forced these words out of his mouth.

You looked at him with confusion, you’ve never seen Nate in your whole relationship being so vulnerable as he is right now. You nodded your head, holding your breath awaiting what he had to say.

“I’m truly sorry Y/N. I truly fucked up, I have no excuse for the way I treated you. I can see you walking out of my life and I’m scared, I love you and I’m scared that you hate me. I won’t blame you if you do, I don’t deserve you, you were always too good for me. Ever since I called the cops on my dad, I realised that I’m turning into my worst fear, I’m turning into him. I hurt you so badly and I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. My dad was a worthless piece of shit, I believed that I had to grow in his shadow, I had to be the man he wanted me to be, so I hurt those I love because I’m so used to anger that I don’t know how to express how I feel about you. But I do love you, I love the sound of your laugh, I love waking up next to you, I love how you can make this shitty world okay” Nate’s body convulsed as each sob coursed through his body.

He couldn’t hold his tears back anymore as they slid down his face, he buried his face within his hands, hiding the tears from you. He felt a small sense of humiliation about you seeing him like this, he could hear his father’s voice ringing through his ears telling him how pathetic he was for shedding a single tear. But he didn’t care as right now he could possibly lose the love of his life forever and that scared him more than any tears would.

You looked at him with concern as your heart broke to see him so fragile, his body shaking as his hands muffled the series of ‘please don’t leave me, I love you” escaping from his lips. In your whole relationship you have never seen Nate cry, to the point that you believed that he was incapable of feeling such intense sorrow. In this moment in time you saw the fragile broken side of him that never sees the light of day.

Yes he broke your heart but you still loved him, humanity in itself is never black and white, we’re all intricate human beings with flaws and scars and Nate was no exception to this. He was flawed and broken but he also made you feel like you were the most beautiful person whenever his eyes fell upon you, how he could make all of your problems slip away into thin air whenever you were wrapped in his warm embrace.

Fuck you still loved him!, you were willing to give him a second chance. Sure there’s a lot to work upon to have even an ounce of what you once had, but if Nate was serious about what he had just said he’d gladly put in the work.

“Baby” you called out to him, just as you expected he remained where he was, still trembling with his face buried within his hands.

You stepped towards him and gently peeled back his hands to reveal his tear stained face. He looked at you with his eyes filled heavy with a deep sadness. You wiped away a hot tear that fell down his cheek with your thumb, placing a kiss where the tear used to be.

“Okay, you fucked up badly. You hurt me, but I can’t help but love you. Even when my heart was breaking I still loved you. When I once drunkenly told you that I couldn’t imagine a future without you in it, I still mean every word. But baby if we’re going to work I need you to prove to me that you’d never hurt me this badly again because my heart can’t take another heart break. I want to give us another chance, but please promise me baby that you will do anything to make us work again?”

“I will I promise, I love you Y/N. Thank you, I don’t deserve you” he weakly chuckled as new tears flooded down his cheek. He gently kissed your forehead, as he pulled you into his arms, inhaling your perfume that he had missed for it was the only thing in his life that brought him any form of comfort.

“Don’t make me regret this baby” you whispered

“I would rather die than to ever make that happen” he whispered back to you, placing another tender kiss against your forehead. Smiling for the first time in days that the love of his life was finally back in his arms.

———————————————————————————

Lexi sighed as she got Fez to rearrange the silver banner which read ‘happy engagement’ for what felt like the hundredth time.

“A little to your left Fez, it’s still off centre” she groaned, massaging the stress out of her temples.

“Look angel , no one is going to care if the banner isn’t exactly central” Fez groaned, his back is aching from arching it to place the banner exactly where his fiancé wanted it.

“Why don’t you get yourself a glass of rosé and try to relax?” He soothed, massaging her shoulders that became raised from her over thinking. He kissed the side of her cheek as he felt her shoulders release.

“I know, it’s just that I want tonight to be perfect, everyone will be here. Plus Y/N will be here who I haven’t seen in forever, sorry babe it’s just that it’s been a lot of stress for me” she pouted, chewing on the inside of her cheek from overthinking the entire party.

“I know angel, but trust me tonight is going to be great. And fuck it if it’s not for I’m finally engaged to the hottest woman I have ever met who made me the luckiest man in the entire world” Fez smiled as he turned Lexi to look at him, he lifted her head to look at him as he brought her Into a passionate kiss.

“I love you” Lexi breathed after she had to pull away from the lack of oxygen to her lungs

“I love you too”

The two lovers were interrupted by a loud knock at the door, the person behind the door was growing impatient by the second as the door was rattling against its hinges.

Lexi rolled her eyes, growing more frustrated by the person’s persistence. When she opened the door she was met by her sister wearing a skin tight baby pink dress, barely covering her ass.

“Wow Cas you look good?” Lexi stuttered upon seeing her older sister so dolled up, Lexi snickered as she joked, “dressing for anyone special?”

“Nate could be here” Cassie smirked as she soothed down the limiting fabric of her dress

“Excuse me?”

“Last thing I heard was that Y/N dated Nate in college, if by some miracle that they’re still together, I’ll show him what he’s been missing” Cassie stated, as she flipped her blonde hair over her shoulders making a beeline for the kitchen for something to drink.

Fez noticed how Cassie flounced in here without acknowledging the two hosts or why the party was arranged in the first place. He rolled his eyes as he brought his beer to his lips.

“Remind me why you invited her?”

“She’s my sister, plus she’s delusional that Nate will be here” Lexi groaned also rolling her eyes, they say that you can’t choose your family but it’s moments like this that Lexi wish that she could

Plus her sister was full of shit, there was no way that you would ever give Nate Jacobs a second chance right?

As more guest arrived they all congratulated the happy couple and wished them both a lifetime of happiness.

Rue stood in the corner listening to Kat as she told her about her newest work in progress. Rue is gladly 7 years sober from all substances, she’s done so well that she now helps out at the local clinics that once saved her life. Rue rarely dated after her relationship with Jules, needing to find her feet and especially within her sobriety. She had finally healed the relationship with her mom and younger sister.

Kat on the other hand became a successful author, writing about steamy erotic stories which soon made her the best selling author of that genre. Fans go wild over her books, claiming her to be the queen of smut. Kat finally found the confidence she thought that she lost in herself and for once was truly happy in her skin.

Ethan spent a large majority of the party catching up with Lexi as he just came back from tour. Unsurprisingly Ethan found his love of acting through being in Lexi’s iconic play. He studied at Juilliard where he became an up and coming Broadway talent, he recently came off tour with Dear Evan Hansen and was happy to be home for a few days. Though he has been avoiding Kat all throughout the party like the plague, some wounds will never heal.

Jules arrived to the party with Kat who were still good friends and kept in touch regularly. Jules became a therapist helping queer and trans kids, she became an activist for trans rights and in result gained a huge Instagram following. Jules used what she went through in the past to help those she can, believing that no one should experience the trauma she had faced alone.

Cassie stood leaning against the wall watching the door like a hawk, every few minutes readjusting her hair or applying another layer of

Gloss, determined that Nate was going to walk through that door. Lexi and Cassie’s relationship was rocky, but for the sake of the family Lexi invited her here tonight.

Lexi felt her heart drop as she checked the time on her phone, you were officially an hour late. The guilt started to eat her alive as she twirled the pretty diamond ring that laid upon her finger. She drummed her fingers against her thigh trying to relieve her anxiety that was raging through her body. Her brain went into overdrive, imagining all the ways that you probably hate her for loosing touch. She kept on staring at the wooden frame praying for it to knock at any second.

———————————————————————————

“Okay you can choose one toy each” Nate stated at Harrison, Noah and Lilly who were sat crossed legged on the floor of their playroom with multiple toys strewn around the room.

“But daddy Rosie needs Daisy” Lilly pouted as she held up two princess dolls from the same set, she gave Nate her best puppy dog eyes and quivered her bottom lip.

It took Nate less than five seconds to cave into Lilly’s cute pouting face which made his heart melt. Nate swears that she gets it from her mother. Lilly truly was Nate’s little princess and dangerously he was wrapped around her little finger.

“Fine” Nate sighed “only two”

The three kids let out a laughter of glee as they reached for another toy.

“Are you ready to go?” You asked resting your head in the crook of Nate’s neck, wrapping your arms around him pulling him closer to you. It must be your hormones or Nate’s irresistible nature that made this pregnancy resulting in yourself to be attached to his hip, you became more clingier but Nate found that adorable. Especially when you pouted at him if he hasn’t given you enough affection, Nate wouldn’t change it for the world for he had the life he dreamt about, a beautiful wife and 3 happy healthy children with one more on the way

———————————————————————————

Lexi felt her heart flew out of her chest when she heard a knock at the door. She squealed loudly as she passed her glass to Fez, who was looking at his fiancé with a bewildered expression from her sudden outburst. Her body shaking with delight as she practically launched herself at the door.

Maddy saw Lexi’s commotion and quickly followed suit with her face beaming over the thought of seeing you again.

“I missed you-“

The two women’s eyes grew wide as they looked at your stomach that was carrying your fourth child. Lexi cupped her hands over her mouth and squealed again in delight.

“Congratulations Y/N who’s the lucky guy?”

“My husband-“

“Oh my god! You’re married?” Maddy smiled as she wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug, but not tight enough as she was weary of your bump. Maddy was overjoyed that you are finally in a healthy relationship ever since the shit show her and Lexi had to endure in high school, the two were so used to seeing you in tears with a broken heart. It warms her heart that you look happier and you were practically glowing, pregnancy really did suit you.

Lexi shared the same feeling of elation for you but she was momentarily sad when she found out that you were married, not that she wasn’t happy for you but she wished that she could of been their to celebrate your big day with you. Well at least you can now attend hers.

3 kids came running up behind you, your twins Harrison are Noah were 7 while Lilly was 5. Lexi and Maddy waved at the three kids, gushing about how cute they were and how much they all looked like their mom. Both women were crouched down listening intently as each kid introduced their toys to them, laughing as Lexi and Maddy shook their hands and welcomed the extra guests to the party.

When Maddy looked up to you, her smiled faltered as she choked on the air overcome with shock from who just appeared and placed a kiss on your cheek. Lexi looked at Maddie eyes wide with confusion till she turn to look in the same direction, Lexi rapidly started blinking not fully processing what she’s just witnessed.

You and Nate Jacobs were still together! Not only that but you were married to him with kids.

None of the pieces were adding up in their heads, they were completely baffled by the entire encounter. Last time they saw you, you were crying over him hating him for breaking your heart. So what the hell has changed for you to look totally infatuated by him?

—————————————————————————-

After you graduated from university Nate proposed with a beautiful delicate diamond ring. Saying that you were the love of his life and the only one for him.

You both had a small private wedding reserved for only close family and friends, for you wanted your big day to be spent with those who you loved. You did wish that Lexi and Maddy could be there but you all loss contact so it was impossible to contact them.

You both moved far away from LA as possible, both wanting a fresh start and especially when Cal was allegeable for parole. Nate wanted to be far away from him as possible, especially a few months after the wedding you fell pregnant with twins. Nate wanted to live somewhere safe with his family and to be the farther he never got to your twins (and Lilly who came two years later and baby Jamie who is now on the way).

He became a football coach at the local high school and you worked in the art department. It was sweet that you both worked in the same place which meant that you could have cute lunch dates together away from your kids as much as you loved them.

Nate was a great farther he was nothing like his dad, he was kind and patient. Completely different to his former high school self, where he didn’t know how to communicate his emotions. They built up inside of him till it came out into this fiery rage that could make anyone’s blood run cold, so unused to feel love so when he felt it he felt like he needed to push them away as he believed he was unworthy of feeling such a thing.

Seeing the way he was acting was hurting you, the love of his life. Watching you nearly walk out of his life was the worst pain he had ever felt, it felt suffocating, like every part of him was breaking. That he knew he had to change, and he wanted to change if it meant that he could keep you in his life.

Yes it was hard for him to begin with but he slowly let down his guard, the one his farther installed in him to make him ‘more of a man’ even though it made him seem cold. He started to let you in, he started to communicate about his feelings rather than to wait till they reached boiling point.

Nate was a doting husband, he brought you flowers every Friday and hires a sitter just so you two can have your regular date nights. He loved you with all his heart and never missed an opportunity to show that to you. You were both finally happy. —————————————————————————-

“I can’t believe he’s changed?” Lexi exclaimed lifting her glass to her lips, still in complete shock over what she’s just heard.

“I love you Y/N but he was a dick in high school I’m having a hard time believing that he’s such a loving husband” Maddy added watching in amazement as Nate sat with his children on the floor. Laughing with them and joining in their make believe game, watching as Lilly giggled with glee as her dad gently kissed her on the cheek.

“I know if I wasn’t married to him I’d have a hard time believing that too. But I truly couldn’t ask for a better husband, the smallest things make me nauseous nowadays. So Nate now carries water, mints and ginger tea incase I need it”

“Stop it that is too cute” Maddie gasped.

Both her and Lexi shared a look, maybe they were both wrong about Nate Jacobs? Seeing you so content ,watching how good he is with the kids and how he looks at you like you are the most beautiful girl in the world (which caused Cassie to roll her eyes and huff in annoyance seeing how in love with you he was). Nate Jacobs was your perfect match.

“So Y/N I wanted to ask if you would be my maid of honour at my wedding”

“Oh my god Lexi, yes I will” you smiled as you quickly pulled her into a warm embrace.

“I need my best friend there on my big day and it wouldn’t be the same without you”

They say that the best love is fast and intense, maybe that was true to your high school self. But the true, real kind of love was consistent and giving, forever holding onto that initial spark. Now you know exactly what that love felt like as you found that in Nate.

A/N: I hope that you enjoyed this fic. I’d had to make Ethan an actor especially after his incredible performance as Nate in the play. He also gives me dear Evan Hansen vibes I don’t know why. My requests are still open and I’m currently working through all of them

[bloodrvvvsh]

Code Red, Code Blue. | Spencer Reid x Lexie Grey

Synopsis: When the BAU is led to a case in Seattle, with Seattle Grace Mercy West as the focal point. And after an unfortunate incident involving two cups of hot coffee and a ruined pair of scrubs, Spencer meets a girl that changes his whole life.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Lexie Grey

Warnings: Typical CM discussions of violence and gore, also typical Grey’s discussions of gore and medical talk, TL inconsistencies (I do try to keep things as canon complaint as possible but it doesn’t always work and I’m only human after all please have mercy 🙏), mentions of death, swearing, eventual smut, warnings to be added as chapters go on!

Notes: I have never been so excited to make a series in my entire life. I have adored the idea of Spencer x Lexie since I started watching Grey’s and I got attached to Lexie. I was worried this series would be too niche for others to enjoy but seeing the support I got from just a little teaser genuinely made me so excited and motivated me to write it. Anyways I hope you all enjoy!!! Also feel free to send in asks or requests for blurbs or oneshots regarding this universe! All things related to Code Red, Code Blue will be tagged under CRCB/CRCB Series!

No release dates for chapters because I like to work at my own pace. Being on a deadline makes me feel rushed and between my own life happening and my disabilites and all that comes with them, I cannot write on a schedule.

Chapter 1: Acquainted.

Chapter 2: Don't Forget To Call Me.

Chapter 3: Almost Love.

Chapter 4: Naked in DC.

Chapter 5: Out Of Time.

Chapter 6: Does Me No Harm.

Chapter 7: I Feel Like Prey.

Chapter 8: Cut Me Deep, Leave A Scar.

Epilogue: Say Yes.

[elsie-talisman]

I’ve just seen someone’s theory that Emily’s sister is a half sister on her dad’s side who walked out on them. Which would explain why both have never been mentioned before!

A Lexie grey-esque character!

And that makes the most sense to me right now, so I hope the writers saw it!

However. It doesn’t really explain the way Emily talked about her in the elevator, but who knows… maybe she spent a few weekends or summers at her dads?!

[tekumaniac311]

My Space Rider voices

With me developing the second chapter for Rider Rescue, i figured i could drop off a few lore and stuff here and there. Here is the headcanon voices for each of my 8 Riders!

Dogbite's Voice: Yuri Lowenthal - Insomniac Spider man. Especially when he had the symbiote in the second game, "Bully Lowenthal" fits the voice for the arrogant younger brother of Dogday! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQNKxzA11lY

Drago Kitano's Voice: Phil Lamarr - Samurai Jack. Need I say more? Okay I'll explain, since he's basically got a samurai-style calmness and inner peace in combat, not to mention he rocks a Japanese aesthetic(if you've seen his outfits). Samurai Jack's voice fits him perfectly! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfl39TqdI28

Berserkerine's Voice: Steve Blum - Wolverine. Hands down the most badass voice for everyone's favorite adamantium lunatic! And good for the tough muscle of the squad! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i0QhdyUkQk&t=131s

Leopardaisy's Voice: Jessica DiCicco - Lexi Bunny. Quirkiness, tomboyish and overall laid back and vibing, her voice as Lexi Bunny from Loonatics fitted Leopardaisy perfectly! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi2ggiW02_o&t=751s

Lean Lemur's voice: Micah Abbey - Donatello(TMNT: Mutant Mayhem), his voice is young enough and cute enough to match Lemur i think, he's the baby of the team, yo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge8kfHm2A0w

Mama Mammoth's Voice: Anika Noni Rose - Tiana. For someone who is always working hard and got a huge heart to share for her fellow squad pals, there's no better voice to fit that than the voice of Tiana herself! And yes i imagine Mammoth could also sing but is more of a cooker than a singer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3sR79-jjuU&t=12s

Prettybird's Voice: Grey DeLisle - Catwoman, the voice just OOZES attractiveness and confidence. After all Prettybird, being the medic of the group she would emit some "helloooo nurse" energy, LOL! Not to mention Grey DeLisle is just one of the very best. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ad5SFZ1-XY&t=127s

FixFox's Voice: Erika Henningsen - Charlie Morningstar. Charlie's voice got that tone i think fits FixFox and her personality. Charlie's voice when excited definitely is perfect for FixFox when she geeks out on a specific ship or engine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJqlMXBZYp8&t=27s

Space Riders AU belongs to @onyxonline

[pappydaddy]

how you get the girl (j.m.)

a/n: i got a little carried away with this one lovelies! but i hope you enjoy it💛!

tv show/movie: outer banks

pairing: jj maybank x fem!kook!reader

not requested

style | i wish you would | how you get the girl - you're here

synopsis: after an increase in reckless behaviour, jj's friends confront him, giving him an ultimatum. jj enlists the help of sarah and kie on how to win y/n back.

taglist: @rottenstyx | @boxofsilentwords | @popeheywardssecretgf | @lexi-2004 | @i-always-come-back-xoxo | @rootbeerfaygo | @luvhanns | @thelakespoets | @lonely-simplicity | @tenaciousperfectionunknown | @k-k0129 | @maybankslover | @smarie7543

*line through your user means i could not tag you lovely!

au where there was no treasure but sarah and kie mended their friendship and brought everyone together

warnings: angst, heartbreak, mentions of an unsafe party, drinking, drug use, voyeurism/exhibitionism, mentions of witnessing public sex, inappropriate relationships mentioned, john mayer referenced, being hit on during a vulnerable state, older women (40) hitting on drunk jj, spicy content (not smut).

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

-not my gif - my header-

“Six months. It has been six months of this and I am tired,” Pope exclaimed as they all gathered in the Twinkie. “We are basically acting as his parents and I can barely take care of myself!” He continued as John B drove down the road. 2 AM, just like clockwork. 

  “Tell me about it. I think I’m getting grey hairs. I need to go to the hairdressers sometime,” Sarah muttered, picking up her blonde hair, intersecting it before flipping down the visor, looking at the roots. “Seriously, we need to do something about this. I cannot be going grey at eighteen, John B.” She looked to her boyfriend, flicking the visor back up. 

  “Look, I don’t know what you guys want me to do. JJ’s gone off the deep end, there is no talking to him when he is like this. The harder we push, the further he pulls away from us,” John B sighed. “Look, the best thing for him is for us to give him space, he will come around when he’s ready. If we push him too hard, he won’t have us to protect him anymore.” 

  Kie hummed, agreeing with him, but Pope and Sarah shared a look. “Well, he’s off the deep end about his break-up with Y/N so, why don’t we use that to reel him back in? At least stop making us go get him at 2 AM.” Pope suggested, looking between Sarah and Kie, trying to gauge if it was a good idea. 

  “How did you know about JJ and Y/N?” Kie asked, sitting up straight, fearful. Pope blinked at her, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

  “It was obvious-” 

  “Painfully,” John B chipped in, turning into a random driveway. “This is the address he texted. Let’s go find him. And I’m not hating the idea Pope had about using Y/N.” He remarked, eyebrows raised suggestively. 

  They all climbed out of the van, approaching the house with the obvious party going on. It was as if they wanted the cops to bust it. The stench of weed and alcohol. It was enough to make anyone who wasn’t drunk or high run away from it. And if that was obvious, there was sure to be an abundance of drugs being used. It would probably be a drug dog’s worst nightmare. “I do like it, but how would we use her? It’s not like she’ll be up to talking to him. The ball is in his court. It is up to him to tell her how he feels.” Kie stressed, earning a hum of agreement from Sarah. 

  “Yeah, she laid down the conditions, he was the one who refused to answer. She should not be responsible for his actions and she should not be responsible for making this right. Besides, she’s really torn up about this.” Sarah explained further as they opened the door, the noise hitting them like a brick wall. 

  “We give him an ultimatum. He either stops this behaviour or next time we’re calling Y/N and telling her about everything he’s doing. We no longer protect him from her finding out all of this,” Pope gestured around to the party full of people tripping on some sort of drug or so horribly drunk he is amazed they are still alive. “Is happening. I mean like, there are at least two couples having sex right there.” 

  “Oh my god, there is,” Sarah gasped. “John B, all of these people are way older. Like John Mayer old and creepy. This is so much worse than the other parties he’s been to.” She pointed out. 

  “Yeah, I’m catching the drift that this might be a tipping point for JJ’s behaviour. This is not safe for any of us to be here.” John B noted as they moved around the house some more, the thumping music and random yelling overwhelming them. 

  From between the noise, they could hear a familiar voice. “You know, I would love to do that with you, but I have someone already.” JJ. He sat on the floor, back pressed against the wall as an older woman dragged her hand up and down his leg, lips pressing kisses all over his face. 

  “JJ, man,” John B quickly rushed over to him, swatting the completely drunk woman away from his best friend. “Get away, you’re old enough to be our mother.” He shooed her off. With a huff, she stumbled off, her heels scuffing against the hardwood. 

  “John B! My man! My buddy, have you seen this party? It’s full of cougars! I’ve been hit on so much, it’s insane.” He was beyond drunk, his speech slurred and his eyes half-lidded. 

  “Yeah, we saw that Buddy, but you don’t want these people to hit on you, they’re too old and don’t have good intentions.” John B coached him. A sober JJ knows this. He might get an ego boost, but he knew not to accept any advances. Drunk JJ, John B wasn’t too sure. 

  John B wrapped JJ’s arm around his shoulder, Pope taking the other one and doing the same. Together, they hoisted JJ up to stand. “But, I couldn’t accept any of them because all I can think about is Y/N. She’s ruined sex for me.” He slumped, not being able to keep his body weight up. John B and Pope stumbled, but kept themselves standing. 

  “Why are you even at this party, JJ? How did you get yourself into this situation, Dude?” Pope asked, looking around. He wasn’t even sure how JJ knew this was happening. It’s not like he runs in any social circles with forty-year-old women who think sleeping with a barely legal teenager is okay. 

  “I heard about this from my cousin. He was supplying some of the weed,” JJ slurred, his eyes closing as his feet dragging as they neared the door. “Last party I was at, I saw Y/N. She was with Topper. Not only did she ruin sex for me, how can I go to another party where she might show up looking so amazing with Topper on her arm,” He rambled, opening his eyes as he felt the cold night air hitting him. “So, I thought that Y/N would never come to a party like this and if she did, I would drag her back out of the party because it would be so unsafe for her to be in there. She would get John Mayered! So, I went to the party.” 

  “You went to the party you deemed unsafe?” 

  “Well, yeah. What if she did come to this party? Who was going to protect her? Topper? Yeah right. He would be too busy snorting cocaine up his nose to realise she was in trouble.” He reasoned as they unceremoniously shoved him into the back of the Twinkie. 

  Turning to the group, John B said sternly. “We’re talking to JJ tomorrow about the ultimatum.” 

____   

  “JJ, we need to talk.” JJ looked up from John B’s coffee table where he was carefully rolling a blunt - his second one since noon. The voice came from John B himself, Kie, Pope, and even Sarah in tow. They had been out together all day, since even before JJ got up.  

  “Okay, then talk away dude, I’m not bothering you.” He shrugged, packing the loose weed in the paper carefully, eyes trained on it. His friends all settled into spots, Pope and John B sitting on either side of him. It raised a red flag within JJ’s mind, but he didn’t care too much about it - he knew they would never hurt him.  

  “Talk with you, Buddy.” John B clarified, gently reaching in front of JJ when he stilled for a second. Pope did the same, grabbing the baggie of weed and handing it to Kiara who quickly moved it away from the living area. John B gently pulled the blunt in progress away from JJ, both to avoid a fight and to make sure none of the weed spilled onto his floor (it’s like catnip of JJ). 

  “Don’t see what we need to talk about, but okay,” JJ shrugged, seeming to be playing obliviously. He knew what they were wanting to talk about. He’ll just pretend he doesn’t. “Talk away, my friend.” He leaned back on the couch as the four of them shared nervous glances. 

  “Well, okay,” John B cleared his throat, looking at his friends in a silent way that said he would start the conversation. “We wanted to talk to you about your behaviour lately. You’ve resorted back to reckless JJ. It was first getting into week long fits of rage-” 

  “Particularly when you see Topper-” Pope added in.

  “Especially when you see Topper and Y/N together,” Kie piped up, sitting on the now clear coffee table across from JJ, Sarah sitting beside her. They were ready to jump up at any time, knowing JJ doesn’t like to feel cornered. “Then you get all mopey when you see Y/N and then all of a sudden, you’re angry again.” Kie explained as gently as she could. 

  “Now, it's the endless partying, but last night with that dangerous party you went to, it’s too much. It’s much worse than what you’ve done in the past. You surpassed your own level of recklessness last night.” John B told him. 

  “So? I won’t go to any more of those parties. I realise now that it was dangerous. Happy?” JJ asked, moving to stand up but John B and Pope simply put their hands on his shoulders, pushing him back down.   

  “It’s been going on for six months, JJ. Which also is about the time you and Y/N stopped talking suddenly. After that phone call you had that night.” Sarah observed. 

  JJ shifted, elbows resting on his knees as he shrugged. “I don’t see it. And I don’t know why you guys are bringing Y/N into this. She has nothing to do with anything, she’s innocent in this.” He denied, blue eyes avoiding everyone.

  “She told us about you a couple of weeks ago, Sarah and I,” Kie informed him, his blue eyes widening, snapping up to look into Kie’s calming brown ones, trying to see if she was bluffing or not. Didn’t matter if she was or not now, she for sure knew from his reaction. “We already knew about you two, but she told us what happened.”

  “We haven’t told her about your behaviour. We figured you wouldn’t want her knowing about some of the things you’ve done.” John B informed him.

  “We have been working double time trying to keep her from getting any information. Your drunken adventures, the attempted hook-ups, the drug use, last night’s party. We have made sure none of it has reached her,” Pope explained. JJ’s blue eyes shifted from each person, a sense of gratitude within them. “But, we have reached the breaking point with your behaviour, especially after last night, JJ.” 

  “So, we’ve decided to give you an ultimatum. You work with us to figure out how to help you fix this or the next time you call us after doing something stupid. We call Y/N and tell her everything.” John B ripped the metaphorical band-aid off. And surprisingly, JJ didn’t flip the table or his lid. 

  They all watched him as he let the words sink in. They could see his blue eyes moving from side to side as if the answer was written on the floor. “I want to get her back. But she’s with Topper now-”

  “You think she’s with Topper? She hates Topper- well, hated Topper,” Sarah spoke up. “Her and Topper were set up on a date by their parents. She called him out on his shit and they became friends. He’s basically just standing in for us while we’re here babysitting you. Once you’re back in her life, I am sure both of them will be more than happy to go their separate ways.” 

  “Okay, that takes care of that, but I don’t even know the first step to getting her back. She is the first girl I actually like, let alone love and this is all uncharted territory for me.” 

  “That’s where we come in.” Kie smiled, pointing between her and Sarah. JJ slid back in his seat, a bit unnerved with their smiles and the gleams in their eyes. 

  “They are going to use this opportunity to enact their revenge, aren’t they?” JJ questioned.

  “Possibly.” Pope agreed. He hoped they did.  

____ 

  Gruelling.That was the word JJ would use Sarah and Kie’s seven day program designed to help JJ get Y/N’s back. They sugar coated it, of course, saying that it was all necessary, but he hardly thought it was necessary for him to run all around The Cut getting them things while they sat at John B’s. They wouldn’t even let him use his bike. “If I get a cold, I am coming for your heads.” JJ painted. It was fifty degrees go and they had him outside running since the early hours of the morning. 

  Sarah and Kie shared a look as they dug through the bag JJ just brought them. “Oh, I didn’t realise you didn’t want our help to get Y/N back,” Kie hummed, pulling all the candy out of the bag. “Well, Sarah, I guess we can just leave since JJ doesn’t-” 

  “No, wait,” JJ exclaimed, hands shooting out in front of him in case they tried to leave. “I need your help, I do. But I don’t see why I need to be out running in fifty degree weather. Getting a cold isn’t going to help get Y/N back.” 

  Kie rolled her eyes at his overdramatics. “You’re not going to catch a cold-”

  “Wait, he might have a point,” Sarah remarked, hands stilling as she shifted through the snacks herself. Kie threw her a questioning look. “Risking a cold,” Sarah spoke again as if that was to make it all make sense. “He’s risking his health to show her how much he loves her! It’s the ultimate romantic gesture!” 

  JJ slumped down in one of the free chairs littering the living room. He really thought Sarah was going to stop this madness. “Should we still do flowers and candy then? Or should he just show up at her doorstep in the middle of the storm we’re getting tomorrow night?” JJ’s mouth fell open to protest, but Kie and Sarah already launched into re-evaluating the plan. 

  “I’m definitely getting sick after this.” He groaned, hand falling over his eyes as his skin felt like a million needles were sticking into it - his skin unthawing from being out in the cold all day. 

  “Oh, hush. This means you don’t have to run anywhere anymore,” Sarah scolded him. JJ let his hand drop, somewhat relieved. “By the way, do you even understand what happened between you two?”

  JJ looked at her, eyes wide as he questioned her sanity. “You mean the thing you explain to me everyday even though I showed a full understanding of how I screwed everything up from the start of these past seven days,” Sarah and Kie nodded. “Oh, well than yes, but I am sure you’ll torture me by revisiting it.”

  “Maybe you should have thought about this before you broke Y/N’s heart.”  

____

  “Wow, they were not kidding when they said it would be a storm.” Y/N muttered to herself as she pulled the curtains covering her bedroom window back, looking at the downpour. She could see it in the yellow gleam from the streetlight, if she didn’t know better, she would assume they were having a hurricane in February. She never understood the expression raining cats and dogs until now. In an odd way, it was beautiful. Especially when she closed her eyes and listened to it hitting her house. She could be lulled asleep standing right there if she allowed herself. 

  Stepping away from the window, the curtain danced back into place. She never used to have curtains, but following the imposition of her relationship with JJ, every time she saw headlights shine through her window, she thought of him. In an effort to squash any hint of regret, she begged her parents to buy her curtains - which they did with little to no fight. Since then, they remained closed, plunging her in darkness that she found suited her recent mood for the past six months. 

  With a sigh, she picked up the pizza take-out menu she had found. It was her and JJ’s favourite place to order pizza from. Topper had innocently fetched it for her in case she lost power and couldn’t look up websites to order pizza from. He claimed that she should save her phone data for texting and emergencies. She thought he was insane. 

  “I could go for a pizza,” She hummed, opening the menu as if she didn’t know what she already wanted. Picking up her phone, she dialled the number she knew by heart. After a few rings, the girl’s voice spoke through the speaker, obviously chewing gum in the obnoxious way. “Hi, I would like to place an order for delivery. My info should be in the system already, it’s under L/N. I just want what I usually get.” 

  She pinched the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she stood up, gathering some blankets that were carelessly thrown on her floor. “Large pizza with extra sauce and extra cheese with pepperoni?” The girl questioned after a few seconds of typing and clicking. 

  “That’s the one. Could I also get two orders of breadsticks with that?” She paused the gathering of blankets, blinking as she listened to the typing on the other side of the phone. 

  “Okay, anything else tonight?” 

  “No, that will be all. Thank you.” 

  “Should be delivered in about twenty minutes. Any later than thirty and the order is free.” She drawled before hanging up the phone. Y/N smiled, looking forward to the greasy food as she slipped her phone into the pocket of her (JJ’s) hoodie. Shifting the mass of blankets, she started to make her way down the stairs to set up in the living room. Her parents were away in Cuba, celebrating their wedding anniversary meaning Y/N was alone in the house. Humming, she set the blankets down on the couch, hands hitting her legging covered thighs as she looked around, seeing if anything else needed to be changed. 

  The sudden sound of a rough knock startled her. Her gate was closed and nearly impossible to scale so it had to be someone she trusted enough to give the gate code to. This eased her nerves slightly, actually making her feet move towards the door. “Oh my god, what if it’s the cops. Did I do anything wrong? Did they get evidence that I was drinking at that party Topper dragged me to like a week ago,” She whispered to herself, her mind spiralling. “I can’t go to jail. They’ll take one look at me and know I cannot offer anything but tutoring sessions which are useless in prison.” She panicked, but another knock pulled her from her mind. 

  Grabbing the door handle and yanking it open, she didn’t give herself anymore time to think. “JJ? Are you insane? You’re shaking like a ghost!” She exclaimed, worry taking over so much she couldn’t even think about questioning why he was here after six months. He stood there, his figure vibrating from the freezing rain. She wanted to take him and pull him into he warm house, but something stopped her.  

  “It’s been a long six months, Y/N,” JJ started, making her furrow her brows in confusion. She was well aware of how long the six months have been. She’s still moping around. “I was too afraid to tell you what I wanted that night and for every night for five months.” He confessed, his face red but she wasn’t sure if it was the bitter cold, him catching something, or him blushing. His blue eyes stayed on her despite his teeth chattering. 

  “So what changed, JJ. Why are you here right now,” She paused, gesturing to him. “You’re going to catch a cold.” She sighed, her still burning love for him outweighing her judgement as she grabbed his arm, pulling him into the house. 

  “In the last month, specifically the last week and some days, I wasn’t afraid to admit it anymore. I want you, Y/N,” JJ was still chattering as she wordlessly led him to the couch, wrapping a blanket around him. “And not in a secret hook-up situation. Like I actually want you for worse or for better. To be in an actual relationship with you and I will wait forever and ever until you can trust me again because I broke your heart and I knew that from the second you hung up the phone, but I was too hurt to do anything about it.” 

  He panted slightly, still shivering like a chihuahua. Y/N sighed, grabbing his freezing hand and pulling him up the stairs. He let out a low, unsure noise as she did so. “Look, I am still hurt and heartbroken, but I am willing to listen to you because that’s what you do when you are mature and ready for a relationship,” She informed him as she pulled him into her room. “I still have some of your clothes so sit on the bed while I get them.” She instructed, pulling open a drawer in her dresser. 

  “I just want you to know that if you give me another chance, I will do my best to fix your heart, to put it back together,” JJ spoke up after a few beats of silence. He could tell she was still listening as she rooted through the drawers. He looked at the dresser, seeing many photos in frames that were all too familiar. “You kept them up.” He whispered. 

  She stood up, looking back at him in confusion before following his eyes, spotting the pictures. “Oh, yeah,” She hummed, looking back down in her drawer. “I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of them. They reminded me of the good times. Reminded me of how it used to be between us before I pushed you too hard.” She muttered, throwing a shirt and a pair of sweatpants at him.

  He put them on the bed beside him, standing up, his eyes locked on her as she wrapped her arms around herself, nearly curling into herself in a way to protect her heart (surely). The blanket fell from his shoulders as he strides towards her. Her bedside lamp was on, casting a dim light around the room, making her look magnificent, but he wasn’t too focused on her looks - she always looked magnificent to him. 

  “I lost my mind, Y/N-” He spoke, startling her as she thought he was changing. Whirling around, she was once again startled by how close he was to her. Surely, she would have heard him moving. It’s not like he was a light guy. With all his muscle tone and his usual work boots on his feet. 

  “What do you mean?” She asked, eyes searching his face in confusion, noting how he looked in the dim lighting himself.

  “I lost my mind. When I refused to label it. I knew I didn’t want to lose you, but yet I did because I was stupid and I lost my mind. Then, I actually did lose my mind and I didn’t find it until a week ago,” His voice was scratchy from the raw emotion as she looked down at her. “I left you because I was scared and I don’t have an actual reason for being scared, but I lost my mind. You didn’t push me too hard. This was all my fault.” 

  “JJ, it’s both of our faults. I shouldn’t have sprung that conversation on you. I should have approached it another way-” He cut her off with a shake of his head.

 “No, you aren’t getting it. It is my fault. I love you and I was too chicken to say it while you were so ready and I couldn’t see it,” He let his hands grab her biceps in the most gentle way possible. Despite the fact that his skin was freezing, Y/N found warmth filling her from the contact. “I was a mess for the past six months. Like a literal mess. I was drinking, going to dangerous parties, and putting myself in dangerous situations because without you, I am nothing, Y/N. I have nothing without you-”

  “That is not true-” She tried to protest but he cut her off again. 

  “But it is true. I couldn’t even perform after you-” 

  “Oh,” She looked shocked at this, eyes drifting down to his lap before looking back up at him. “Really? You couldn’t,” She glanced down again before looking back into his eyes. “Because I left you?” 

  JJ nodded. “I mean, I got it up, but only when I was picturing you. But it was in the dead of night. But it was like that when we were dating,” He used that word for lack of a better term. “It was always you. From the very second Sarah introduced us all till this moment.” 

  The doorbell sound of the buzzer on the gate went before a voice echoed through the house, someone speaking into the microphone. “That’s my pizza,” She told him, voice soft as if not to break the delicate energy in the room. “I should go pay-”

  “Let me, I’m already soaked. I don’t want you to get a cold.” He patted her arms before taking out his wallet and making his way down the stairs. She followed him, her heart suddenly light for the first time in six months. Sure, his words were slowly mending her heavy heart, but this act of kindness, for whatever reason, just fixed one of the biggest cracks. 

  She stepped outside on the covered porch, wrapping her arms around herself to fend off the bitter wind, as she watched him run down the paved driveway the best he could without slipping. Even in the dark, blinded by the gleam of the delivery car’s headlights, she saw him paying for her pizza and breadstick with his own, hard earned money including a tip (but it was a minute over thirty minutes so he pocketed everything except the tip again). JJ didn’t seem to notice her standing out in the cold and she didn’t realise she had walked off the porch into the pouring rain until JJ spoke up. “I thought I told you I was getting it. Now look at you, you’re completely drenched and-”

  “Kiss me.” She spoke in such a sure tone with such authority in her voice it shocked JJ. Not just because she, the girl who he thought I would have to beg to take him back, was telling him to kiss her, but the way she said it. 

  “What?” He asked, breathless. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. 

  “Kiss me.” She repeated, stepping closer to him. Her clothes were soaked and sticking to her uncomfortably. Her hair was sticking to her face. But none of that was noticed by her nor him. She shook from the cold, but so was JJ so he couldn’t scold her for being out here. 

 “Y/N, are you sure-” JJ started but she cut him off as she took another step closer to him. The two pizza boxes were soggy and nearly hitting her from how close she was but JJ was too stunned to move them. Instead, he was staring into her eyes, searching for any sign of unease.   

  “I am completely and irrevocably sure, JJ,” She whispered, the sound would have been drowned out by the sound of rain hitting the pavement around them if they were not so close together and JJ wasn’t hanging off of every word she was saying. “Kiss me.” She urged, a small smile playing on her lips. 

  “But,” He looked at the pizza boxes in his hands. “The pizza-” She simply shoved the boxes out of his hand, sending the already ruined food and boxes to the ground. Pizza slices and bread sticks flew into the grass of the yard, the cardboard of the boxes breaking and ripping upon impact. 

  “It was free anyway. Kiss me.” This time, he listened. His hands slid along her jaw, angling her face up towards him as he stepped the rest of the way, his lips pressing against hers in such vigour it nearly knocked the two of them over. Eyes instantly closing, awareness slipping from their minds. Her hands instantly gripped his side, fisting the material of his jacket. His lips tasted the same, but this time she noticed a hint of unflavoured chapstick. Kie and Sarah were the masterminds behind this, Kie only ever had unflavoured chapstick. 

  Quickly, any form of thought was stripped from her mind as the kiss deepened. Both of their lips were desperate for one another. Their bodies pressed against each other as they stood there. Rain falling down on top of them, cold droplets hitting their faces, making their muscles jolt, but the kiss never broke. 

  “I had a whole speech planned-” JJ muttered against her lips, eyes opening, pulling back slightly, but she wasn’t having that. Her lips instantly fitted against his before he could say anything else, making him hum against her, his eyes closing again.  

  She could feel him pulling away to speak again, her eyes remaining shut as she spoke. “Shut up and take me inside, Maybank. You’ve said enough. Now show me.” She ordered, re-attaching their lips. 

  “Message received.” He mumbled, hands leaving her jaw as hers let go of his side. Just feeling his fingers dance over the tops of her thighs, she jumped, wrapping her legs around his waist as if no time had passed. His hands stationed on her butt, he blindly carried her into the house, mouths attached, tongues exploring the all too familiar areas of each other’s mouths, and eyes closed. 

____

  Y/N groaned, pulling her lips away from JJ’s as his phone rang for what felt like the hundredth time within the hour. “JJ, could you just answer it or put it on silent?” She asked, nails dragging up and down his bare back. She was under him, her legs straddling him. The sheets were a mess, tangled around JJ’s legs while they were pulled over the pair. 

  JJ sighed, letting go of some of his weight as he let his head fall into the crook of her neck. She giggled as he placed open-mouthed kisses along her shoulder. “I think I have more important things to take care of,” He muttered as her fingers trailed up into his hair. She giggled at his ticklish kisses. The sound of the phone stopped. “See, now we can go for another round-” 

  The shrill ring started again. JJ was conscious not to put all his weight on her as he slumped more. “JJ, just answer it and get whatever it is over. Maybe it’s important.” She urged him, pulling his face from her neck. 

  “Oh, I know who it is. They are still trying to torture me, I am sure,” He groaned, lifting himself up enough so he could grab his phone, holding himself up by one arm. Y/N let her hold on his hair drop, one hand rubbing up and down the arm he kept her caged in. He plopped the phone on the bed next to them, resuming their position. She could see Kie’s name on the phone, a picture of her she took once when she stole his phone as her contact. He hit answer before clicking the speaker phone button, settling against her body once again. “What?” He asked as Y/N went back to dragging her nails up and down his muscular back. 

  “What do you mean ‘what’, Maybank,” Kie’s angry voice sounded through the phone. JJ huffed, rolling his eyes as Y/N silently giggled. “You were supposed to call us two hours ago to tell us what happened and how it went.” She scolded him. 

  “Well, we were busy.” JJ snapped, looking down at Y/N, winking. 

  “Busy for two hours? What on earth-” Sarah cut her rant off, presumably because someone gave her a hint. “Well that’s good, right? That means you guys made up?” She spoke hopefully. JJ and Y/N looked at each other, ridiculous smiles on each of their faces. 

  “It is good.” Y/N agreed, eyes consumed by JJ. 

  “So, are you dating? Are you guys feeling it out? Tell us!” Sarah pressed, sounding like a kid on christmas morning. 

  “We’re dating. Officially and not secretly.” JJ informed them. Hoping this call will end soon. Y/N found herself wishing the same thing which made her start to press kisses along his chest, looking up at him through her eyelashes. He groaned, leaning his head down to lightly bite her shoulder - trying to stay quiet. But that only egged Y/N on. 

  “Say,” Pope’s voice popped up over the phone, pausing for a second. “You two aren’t in bed naked by any chance, are you?” He posed the question, most likely knowing the answer to it already. 

  “I think you already know the answer to that, Buddy.” John B spoke for JJ and Y/N.

  “What JB said.” JJ pulled his mouth away from Y/N’s shoulder. A chorus of disgusted noises and complaints left their friends.

  “How are you not grossed out by this, John B?” Kie questioned, her nose turned up. 

  “I told you not to call him! I told you they would be busy!” He defended himself as JJ hit the end call button, smacking his phone off the bed carelessly.

  “Another round?”

  “Another round.” He answered, lips crashing against hers as he settled his weight on her just enough to earn a hum from her.                

[slf-cntrl]

LETS GET TO THE REAL…

honorable mention: owen hunt. (i don’t like owen hunt.)

[pingou7]

Only 10 is much too cruel, but at least it wasn't the male characters I had to select!

Honorable mentions because I have restrained myself with extreme difficulty : Jyn Erso (SW), Wednesday Addams (The Addams family), Shireen Baratheon (Game of thrones / ASOIAF) and Amy March (Louisa May Alcott).

I've been tagged by @calimera62 (merci beaucoup marraine adorée !) tagging whomever wish to give ten favorite female characters from their fandoms. Perhaps @atthelamppost @thenewleeland @jellyfitzjelly @moonprincess92 @nael-opale @ibonekoen @nerdygirl2888 @oh-nostalgiaa would?

[bitchyfoxymama]

Make Room For It - Karev x F!Reader

Ahhh my first Grey's Anatomy Post!!! And it's for my fav Peds Doc!! 😍 I hope you enjoy this I was consistently watching til around season 6 then stopped but have been popping in when my mom and sis watch rn just to check in on my babies.

WARNINGS: Spoilers for Grey's Anatomy season 8 episode 24, mentions of the incident, fluff, depression

********

Empty, numb, heartbroken, all things you felt since you found out about the plane crash and the fact that Lexi wasn't here anymore. You had a stupid fight the night before about forgetting to do your laundry and her scolding you. 

You never said "I love you" to her before she left along with Mer and the other on that stupid surgery. You were so stupid! Stupid to let a stupid fight from telling your sister you loved her. 

You had Mer sure and you were so grateful to still have her but you and lexi grew up together, your bond was stronger, she was your person, quiet like Christina was Merideth's. 

The point is that you were grieving, work became hard, you would make small slip ups, forgetting why you'd enter a room or forgetting the patient's name. It all became too much so you took an early lunch and fled to one of the on-call rooms, locking it with shaking hands. 

You slide down the door and just let all the emotions you've been keeping inside finally free, all the guilt, regret and sadness fall from your eyes. When you had run off what you didn't notice was a certain intern had seen you rush past. 

You were pulled out of your crying session when there was a knock on the door. 

"THE ROOMS IN USE!" You shout, but another knock comes again. Your annoyed now, you mind going on how you want to scream at the person whose interrupted your much needed cry time, but before you can get up a voice comes through the closed door. 

"Hey, it's uh me. Look I know I'm probably the last person you wanna talk to right now but will you just let me in?" Of course it's Alex. 

You've been seeing him on and off again for a few months, but have since stopped since the accident. 

You get up and slowly unlock the door before going to sit on one of the beds while he gently opens the door and locks it once more. 

"I saw you run in here and had to check in on you" he says as he comes to sit next to you on the bed, placing a hand on your knee. 

"Thanks but I'm fine really, you didn't need to come check on me Alex," you quickly wipe away your tears. 

"Yeah well I care about you, and seeing you run in here upset alone, well I had to help you," he says pulling you into a hug. The contact made the tears fall once more. You didn't know how much you needed the comfort of a person. You hadn't gone to Merideth since but having Alex hold you while you cried, triggered something inside of you. 

The sobs wrecked through your body as you gripped tightly onto his scrubs.

"Does it ever stop hurting?" You cry out. 

"No, you just make room for it" he says rubbing his hand down your back. 

Your crying session continues until you are both paged, you look up at him, eyes red and puffy. 

"Oh no, I got your scrubs all icky and gross," you wipe your face. 

"Ah it's fine I've had worse cover my scrubs, but we should probably answer this page," he says, giving you one of his award winning smiles. 

You both get up off the bed but before either of you can leave you pull him into a gentle kiss. 

"Thank you, for everything," you say as you walk out of the room. 

You leave him there with a smile upon his face. 

[bipunkharrington]

I felt very very uncomfortable on Rae's behalf every time "fingergate" came up, and this is on their Instagram under their "FAQ" and basically backs up the feelings of discomfort and feeling bad for Rae I had.

Before that night every time Vanessa alluded to them hooking up Rae would awkwardly redirect the conversation, I realise it's a grey area when both people are drinking (presumably Vanessa was also very drunk when this happened) but I definitely feel like Rae was too drunk to consent to sex. There's even a clip of her in the show that to me comes across as her trying to reassure herself that she "did consent", even though that hadn't been questioned, which to me feels like her trying to process what happened and convince that she doesn't have the "right" to feel uncomfortable about it.

I'm not surprised she and Lexi ended up breaking up, it doesn't feel like there was any space for her to healthily process what happened with Vanessa because Lexi was just too focused on her own hurt (which is understandable but doesn't make for a great start to a marriage).

I can't say without a lot more context (re: how drunk Vanessa was) if Vanessa is 100% at fault (although I have a strong suspicion), but sex can be traumatic even if you technically consented to it, and I really hope Rae heals from it (she also mentions on her story that she has a therapist so I'm glad she has space to process!).

I'm surprised the show didn't include more signposting to resources regarding sexual assault, substance abuse, and domestic abuse, to me it feels really irresponsible that they showed us so many examples of relationships with very severe issues without really commenting on it at all.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Just had a dream where I was on a flight with Chyler Leigh and her husband (tm). I say (tm) because I have no idea what her husband looks like and I doubt that he would act the way this guy did. Anyways.

I was in a window seat, with the husband next to me in the aisle seat, and Chyler Leigh across the aisle. Chyler wasn't talking to me, but someone in the row ahead, talking about her role on Grey's Anatomy, and some of the things that informed her character and some behind the scenes stuff about how her final scene was cut so as not to overshadow McDreamy or something.

(I have not seen her character's final scene or really anything else-- I think I was *just* meeting Lexie when I stopped watching.)

Anyway, I was just sitting and facing her around her husband and listening, basking in the presence of someone I admire talking about something their passionate about. It was great.

When there was a lull, I mentioned I was a fan of Supergirl and asked some very basic questions about life on set or something. She was beginning to give some preliminary answers when the whole thing got derailed when her husband changed the subject and talked over her and starting hooting and hollering about a Lone Ranger adaptation or some shit. Dunno if it was a series or movie or what but Lone Ranger was specifically mentioned.

And Chyler Leigh just stopped talking. Totally clammed up and looked embarassed in that way women do when their dudes act like asshole bros.

Friends--- when I tell you I have never wanted to throttle a man more...

Thank god my cat woke me up before I decided to wrap my hands around this guy's throat.

[bloodrvvvsh]

Code Red, Code Blue. Chapter 1: Acquainted.

Synopsis: When the BAU is led to a case in Seattle, with Seattle Grace Mercy West as the focal point. And after an unfortunate incident involving two cups of hot coffee and a ruined pair of scrubs, Spencer meets a girl that changes his whole life.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Lexie Grey

Warnings: Typical CM discussions of crimes, typical Grey's discussions of gore and medical talk (very minimal, though!), meet-cute, literally one (1) offhanded "killing yourself" joke

Word count: 3.0K

Notes: My baby.. she's finally finished... Please enjoy, I spent way too long on this!

Likes are appreciated, but reblogs and comments help writers more!

Wednesday, September 29. 9:42 AM in Quantico, Virgina.

Spencer had only ever been to Seattle once.

Working in the BAU took him all over the country. Cases popped up in every corner, in every state, in every place you could possibly imagine. He had seen nearly every part of the vast landscape that was the US of A.

The last case that had led them across the country to Seattle was The Seattle Strangler, back when Gideon was still on the team. Spencer had mixed emotions about that thought. But he was a professional and he was going to do his job.

Their current case was as close as you could get to clean cut and dry in their line of work. Women in their 20s being stabbed. Pretty simplistic, right? 

The one connection each murder had, though, was that every single woman was eventually directed to Seattle Grace Mercy West. And while the hospital was a fairly major one, it was a Level 1 Trauma Center, after all, which meant a lot of patients, it was definitely raising a few alarm bells in their heads. Each woman was also eventually declared dead at that exact hospital.

It could never hurt to check every possible lead, could it?

Spencer used two fingers to rub at the sleep clinging to his eye still. He tried, and failed, to stifle a yawn as he shifted in his seat. Although he was quite used to struggles with sleep (hence his dependence on caffeine), it never truly got any better. 

“Late night?” Morgan inquired. He propped his arms on the top of Spencer’s seat, peering over the other man’s shoulder.

Spencer shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep,” he replied. He frowned softly, continuing to try and rid himself of the tiredness that stuck to his lashes before he was interrupted by another yawn.

God, he could really use some coffee right now.

He glanced down at his watch and his frown deepened. They still had at least another two hours until they would land. 

Spencer would consider himself a fairly patient man. He didn’t mind waiting, hell, he most often played the waiting game in his job as a BAU agent. But right now, sitting on that jet running on only five hours of sleep with not a drop of caffeine in sight, he was feeling just one moment away from simply losing it.

Not like it would actually happen, though. Spencer wasn’t that kind of guy. He was calm and reserved, even in the face of adversity. 

Hotch’s voice cut through Spencer’s internal monologue for the moment, snapping him back into reality. “We’re going to head to the police station first,” he began, casting a glance over each BAU member in eyesight, “After we get all the necessary facts, we’re going to head to the hospital. Sound good?” He was met with a round of nods from everyone and he nodded back.

~

Wednesday, September 29. 11:23 AM in Seattle, Washington.

Lexie needed a goddamn break.

Being a surgical resident had to be a punishment designed in one of the seven pits of hell. How dare she desire to save people's lives, right?

At least it was better than being an intern.

She loved her job, don’t get her wrong, being a surgeon was her dream. It’s just that she couldn’t remember the last time she got more than four hours of sleep a night and she was just so tired all the time. From running around constantly to several hours long surgeries to forty-eight hour shifts. 

Not to mention the constant drama and tragedy that filled the Seattle Grace Mercy West halls. You couldn’t turn a corner without hearing about someone sleeping with someone else’s boyfriend or about another MerDer breakup or another surprise pregnancy. Really, sometimes it was just ridiculous.

Lexie herself had been the victim of that good ol’ SGMW drama. She was trying to pull herself free from the clutches of it all, but it always seemed to follow them all. Like some sort of curse was placed on that very hospital.

But that was besides the point. The point was that she needed just one moment of peace, away from all the chaos of the hospital and the drama. Was that so selfish of her?

The sound of sneakers shuffling and her racing heart filled Lexie’s ears as she rushed through the halls. The occasional ‘excuse me’ slipped from her lips, trying not to crash into everyone that was in her way. 

When your attending pages 911, you don’t walk - you run.

Her feet skidded to a stop as the familiar emergency room came into view, nearly making her trip with the sudden halt. Her movements seemed almost practiced with the near mindless way she moved - triage gown, tie in the back, gloves. This wasn’t her first trauma, and it would be far from the last.

“What do we have?” Bailey’s voice cut through the millions of other noises filling the room - the rustling of fabric, the snapping of latex gloves on skin, the chatter of voices. The ER was ever far from being quiet.

“28-year-old woman stabbed fifteen times in the torso, majority in the chest,” Owen shot back. He rushed forwards when the glint of red and blue lights followed by the sirens that would follow them for the rest of their lives came into view, and the rest of them marched behind.

“God, overkill much?” Cristina muttered low to Meredith. Bailey, who heard everything always, shot a glare over her shoulder. Cristina threw her hands up in defense, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. Her face fell the minute Bailey turned away and she shook her head with a quiet scoff.

The doors to the ambulance flew open and out rushed a woman on a stretcher. “BP is 158 over 92, HR is 92,” an EMT announced. Owen cursed under his breath as he took the railing of the stretcher into his hands.

“She’s hypertensive,” he announced. Quickly, other hands began to grab onto the stretcher as well, guiding the women into the hospital doors. He barked out a few names and different orders and Lexie slowly loosened her grip on the railing as her feet quit keeping pace before stopping entirely. She watched as the woman was rushed towards a trauma room, a frown falling on her lips. Trauma was never a pretty sight.

With a sigh she made her way to the receptionist desk near the ER entrance doors where a few of the other residents left behind had gathered.

“That’s the third stabbing in less than two months,” April remarked. A little frown began to form on her lips as she flipped the chart in her hand. “And they’ve all been women in their late 20s.”

She didn’t have to say it. They were all thinking it. The glances exchanged spoke a thousand words.

“You don’t think..” Meredith trailed off. She shot a look towards Cristina, then glanced back at April. The current hypothesis wasn’t looking so hot.

“It’s probably just a weird coincidence,” Lexie was quick to interject. Her words did little to quell the tense energy that filled the emergency room. “I mean, Seattle’s a big city. Plenty of crazy people doing crazy things. I’m sure they’re not related.” She waved a hand dismissively. Then she added, “It is getting close to the holidays. Don’t crime rates increase during the holiday seasons, or something?”

The pager attached to her hip beeped. She groaned, a pout appearing on her face at the sound. She unclicked it from the waistband of her scrub pants to take a glance at the numbers displayed on the screen and she sighed once more. It was Derek.

With a murmur of, “I’ve got to go,” that was met with a few dismissive waves of goodbyes from her fellow residents, she made her way towards the elevators, absolutely not ready for whatever Derek had in store for her now.

~

Wednesday, September 29. 2:17 PM in Seattle, Washington.

One thing you never want to hear in a hospital is silence. And that’s exactly Lexie had been greeted when she emerged from the imaging room, a stack of paperwork and scans ordered by Derek in hand. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but something was absolutely happening and she’d be damned if she was left out of it.

It all started to make sense, though, as she made her descent down a floor of stairs and she noticed a group of her coworkers crowded behind a corner. Mentally she counted heads - Cristina, Meredith, Alex, Jackson, April.. All five of them in the same place at the same time, clearly hiding from someone (or something?), always spelled trouble.

Cautiously, she made her way towards the group. She tried to stand on her tip-toes, trying to look over their shoulders to see whatever the hell it was that was making them all stop in their tracks, but to no luck.

Finally with a huff, she decided to pipe up. “What are we looking at?” Her sudden appearance obviously spooked them, as they all nearly jumped at the sound of her voice, but they quickly relaxed when they realized it was just Lexie. She flashed a little smile that was short lived and didn’t quite reach her eyes with an utterance of ‘sorry’. 

“Them,” Meredith said. Lexie leaned to the side and she followed the finger that Meredith pointed with. Never would have Lexie guessed what would be standing before her right now.

There, talking to the Chief and Owen, was a group of people that certainly didn’t look like they belonged together. One man in particular, though, stood out among the rest - a tall man with curly brown locks and the most beautiful face Lexie had ever seen. “I heard they’re FBI agents,” Cristina cut in, knocking her out her little lovestruck daydream, and Lexie’s head snapped so quickly to look back at her, it’s a wonder it didn’t break.

“What?” Was all she could manage in response. “FBI, wh-” She shook her head, trying to clear her head from all the thoughts racing through it. “What would the FBI be doing here?” Her voice dropped low, almost to a rushed whisper.

Cristina shrugged. “Hell if I know.” Lexie frowned. And just as she opened her mouth, ready to say more, Owen gestured in the direction of their little gathering. And when the group of supposed FBI agents looked at them, they all took off, scattering away in their different directions, like roaches when you turned the lights on.

Except for Lexie. She was frozen in place, her blood running cold in her body when their hard eyes locked on her. She forced another smile, a nervous little giggle escaping her as heat washed over her cheeks in heavy waves. She raised her free hand to offer them a half-hearted greeting before pointing behind her with her thumb and then promptly spinning on her heel and hurriedly trying to escape the embarrassment that was that interaction.

~

Wednesday, September 29. 2:45 PM in Seattle, Washington.

Spencer had drank approximately four-and-a-half cups of coffee since landing in Seattle, and he was not quite satisfied yet.

Would he ever truly be satisfied with the amount of caffeine he consumed? Could anyone, really? The answer didn’t really matter. Not to him, anyways. Especially not now, when the tiredness ran bone deep and the day was nowhere near close to being finished. So, he was going to get another cup.

“I’m going to get some coffee,” he announced offhandedly as he pushed himself up from his seat. 

Morgan raised an eyebrow at the young genius as he started to make his way in the direction of the coffee machines. “Really?” Morgan said. “Another cup of coffee? Seriously, kid, you’re going to kill yourself with all that caffeine and sugar you consume.” Spencer waved a hand in response and Morgan could only shake head with a small smile falling over his lips.

“Oh, you’re getting coffee?” JJ perked up, craning her neck slightly to catch Spencer’s eye before he disappeared. “Do you think you could get me a cup, too? Please?”

Spencer nodded. “Cream and sugar?” A grin split across JJ’s face at the idea that he remembered what she liked in her coffee. Although, with Spencer, he couldn’t have possibly forgotten in the first place. “You know it!” she called out to him. “You’re the best, Spence!”

“No problem,” he called back to her as he turned the corner. 

The trek to the elevator and up to the coffee carts was not a particularly long one, but it did give Spencer enough time to get lost in his thoughts. His movements almost ran on autopilot as he got on the elevator and pressed the button with the number four painted on it.

His feet moved for him, guiding him in the direction of exactly where he wanted to be. Ideas and different theories of their current case filled his head as he walked.

All of this to say - he was not paying attention. Not one bit. Not even as he mindlessly ordered two coffees - one mocha latte with room for sugar and one black with cream and sugar. Not as he began to round the corners that he was starting to become familiar with from turning around so many times due to his near caffeine addiction.

Not even as another body rounded the same corner as him.

It wasn’t until the harsh impact came, the colliding of two people knocking hard into each other and hot coffee being dumped all over each other, that he really came back to reality.

Lexie gasped as the coffee crashed right onto her, burning through her scrubs and stinging her skin. She glanced up, wanting to look whoever just ruined her scrubs in the eye, and it was like the whole world slowed for a moment.

It was cute supposed FBI agent guy. 

Her jaw went slack, practically hitting the floor, and all she could do was stare. She almost wanted to pinch herself, check if any of this was really real, but the hot coffee burning her skin told her it was true.

“I’m so sorry,” The words fell out of Spencer’s mouth in an instant. He glanced around in search of something, anything, that could clean up the mess he just made, but he was coming up empty. “Really, I am so sorry-”

Lexie shook her head. “It’s fine-”

Spencer’s eyebrows pinched together. “I just spilled hot coffee all over you, it is not fine.” Lexie could feel her heart skip a beat.

“No, really, it- it’s fine,” she chuckled. “I have another pair of scrubs in my locker, it’s okay.” Spencer didn’t seem satisfied with that answer.

Now it was his turn to shake his head. “Can I make it up to you? You know, for.. getting you doused in coffee and ruining your scrubs.”

Lexie hesitated for a moment. While he was very cute, and seemingly very sweet, she barely knew this guy.

But something inside her told her to take her chance.

“Uh,” she bit down on her bottom lip. She waited for a beat. “Yeah,” she found herself saying, “Yeah, why don’t you buy me a coffee?” Spencer’s whole face lit up at her answer.

Could you blame him, though? Even covered in coffee, the woman before him was absolutely stunning.

“My name’s Spencer,” he finally added. “Spencer Reid. Doctor Spencer Reid, actually.’” Lexie arched a brow at him, head tilting to the side. “Doctor, huh?” she echoed. “Are you, like, new around here, or something? Did you transfer from another hospital?”

“Oh, no. I- I’m not an MD, I’m, uh.. I’m a PhD.”

Lexie slowly nodded her head. “Right,” she muttered. The smile on her face couldn’t seem to budge. “Well, I’m Lexie,” she stuck a hand out to him, “Doctor Lexie Grey, MD.” They both grinned at her words before chuckling. Spencer found himself thinking her name was beautiful. He glanced down at her outstretched hand and then so did she, and for a moment they were both just staring at her hand.

Finally, he spoke up again, “I- I don’t do handshakes,” he spit out. “The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It’s, uh- it’s actually safer to kiss.” 

Lexie nodded her head once more and let her hand fall back to her side. She ran her palm down the side of her thigh, subtly trying to wipe the gathering sweat. A part of her was tempted to ask if he wanted to kiss her, but she held off. For now.

“So, are you a germaphobe, or something? Or do you just know a lot of different facts?”

“Both, actually,” he said. “I, uh, I have an eidetic memory, so I remember everything I read. A lot about bacteria.”

“An eidetic memory?” Lexie echoed. “Really?”

Spencer nodded, a smirk worming its way onto his lips as he began to rock himself on his heels. “And an IQ of 187 and I can read 20,000 words per minute.”

“Oh, so you’re some sort of super genius, is that what this is?”

Spencer shrugged and his smile seemed to grow. “I don’t think intelligence can be defined by arbitrary measures. But for all intents and purposes, I am a genius.”

“You know, that’s really weird, because I actually have a photographic memory,” Lexie said. She tilted her head to the side again. “Does that make me a genius, too?”

Spencer chuckled. “Well, being a doctor isn’t an easy thing to achieve. Especially being a surgeon. I would imagine you have to be fairly smart to become one.”

Lexie’s own smile seemed to grow as well. “Well, Dr. PhD, why don’t you tell me a little bit more about yourself?” She nodded her head in the direction she came from before she started to walk. And Spencer found himself following behind her.

For some reason, Spencer felt like he wasn’t going to regret spilling coffee on her.

for @gghostwriter bc i don't have a taglist <3

(if you would like to be crcb taglist, let me know!!)

[pansysgothgf]

The Buddie Grey’s Anatomy AU I wrote is done so here’s the rest of my moodboards for it + the rambling thoughts I have about the characters :)

Hen!! Hen’s the character I was the most excited about but also the character I feel like I did the least with because as much as I adore Cristina, so many of her plot points in the show seemed to revolve around her truly horrific boyfriends/fiancés/husbands. My hatred of Owen Hunt runs deep, so Karen ended up being partially inspired by Burke. I ended up mostly focusing on Hen and Buck becoming friends, but I do wish I got to spend a little more time on her :(

I ended up sharing Bailey’s plot lines and character between Maddie and Chim, which I’m pretty happy with tbh! My favourite scene to write with them was actually the first one of theirs I wrote for this fic, which was my whumptober submission that ended up being a chunk of chapter two. While they’re mostly based after Bailey, Maddie also reminded me a little bit of Jo (both of them surviving abusive husbands) and I gave her one of April’s plot lines in the final chapter, which was exciting! I did briefly consider incorporating Lexi, Molly or Maggie’s plot lines in for Maddie (the whole ‘secret sibling’ thing) but it just didn’t work with the way I set it up.

LUCY MY LOVE!! I became so unintentionally attached to Lucy while writing this so she got WAY more plot than I was initially intending haha! There’s something so magical about watching the first few seasons of Grey’s and seeing the dynamic between all of the roommates, which I tried really hard to incorporate into the fic. Then I realized I’d become attached to Lucy and Ravi and went… oh shit I’m going to have to actually give them plots rip. I had so much fun choosing which Izzie plots to give to Lucy since Izzie has some really amazing stuff to work with in the show. I ended up going with the two biggest plots (imo). Because I changed so much though, I ended up combining Izzie’s cancer plot line and Amelia’s brain tumour to create what I ended up with. I’m pretty happy with it, honestly, I hope I built it up sufficiently enough :)

Ravi!!! Ravi is what people wish George O’Malley could’ve been. As I’ve previously stated, I do not like the majority of Grey’s men, and this includes George. I ended up focusing mostly on George’s issues with confidence and his complicated relationship with his family. I also elected not to go the bus route with Ravi, you’re all welcome. Fun fact! I made Lena the orthopaedic surgeon because my biggest crack ship in all of 9-1-1 is Lena/Ravi. I headcannon them to be a lesbian and a gay man but they match each other’s freak, and they’re both just as surprised about it as anyone.

Honourable mentions (aka characters I want to yap about but didn’t make moodboards for):

Shannon: I based Shannon off of Addison Forbes-Montgomery-Shepherd SPECIFICALLY because of the season 1 finale. They’re both the secret wives that show up and create chaos which I love lol. I specifically left Shannon’s ending pretty ambiguous, mainly because I don’t know if she would’ve stuck around had she lived in 9-1-1. If we’re going off of Grey’s though, she’s living her best life in LA with a group of friends who she cares a lot about. I like to think that at some point Chris reaches out (probably when he’s a lot older) and they create a tentative relationship.

Tommy: I gave Tommy elements of both Mark Sloan and Owen Hunt (just his position at the hospital because seriously, fuck Owen Hunt). I decided on Tommy as Mark before Season 7 started airing which is WILD because I basically flipped a coin between him and Sal, but went with Tommy since he showed up to fly the plane in season 2. I wrote him and Buck kissing after Buck, Bothered and Bewildered though lol! I don’t really think about what happens to Tommy after the ending of the fic, although it’s definitely not what happened to Mark. Seeing as Owen doesn’t exist in this world, neither does the plane crash <3

Ok that’s it thanks for coming to my ted talk :)