#life is short so make it sweet

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet

Chapter Twenty-Five: Heart Felt Truths

Summary: 4.7k Curtis x Plus!Sized Reader. While still dealing with the power outage, you get to spend more time with Curtis's family and Curtis takes you out with Sophia to show you something special.

Warnings- None.

A/N- Wow it's been a while but I hope you all are still here for the ride. @what-is-your-plan-today edited this chapter for me ages ago, so I have to thank you for doing, I always appreciate your input with these two. @mumbles411 ... This is for you! You have been asking for this moment for a while. Again, THANK YOU EVERYONE for reading and sharing. Dividers made by the lovely @firefly-graphics

Chapter Twenty-Four / Masterlist

There was a soft patter of feet across the old creaky floor and a giggle at the end of the bed. Curtis knew it was coming, had warned you that Sophia would probably crawl in with you both first thing in the morning. He let his gaze slit open to see her at the foot of the bed, grabbing onto the blankets to pull herself up. 

The room was still gray, the hues of dawn barely coming, not quite arriving fully yet and of course, his niece was wide awake right now. He was going to need coffee, coffee would require more work than usual with the power out. 

Maybe if he waited long enough Ella or Lisa would make coffee, that sounded like a better plan. 

Next to him, you stirred, lifting your head enough to see what was moving at the end of the bed, before you burrowed back into your pillows, making Curtis snort softly in amusement. You weren’t a morning person, not unless you had to be. 

“Uncle Curtis.” Sophia whispered, crawling up the middle of the bed. Curtis lifted an arm for her to come snuggle in against his chest, Sophia tumbling under the blankets while both you and Curtis shifted to give her space. “Momma is snoring.” 

“Does she sound like the train at work?” Curtis muttered sleepily. 

“Louder!” Sophia said with some enthusiasm and Curtis pressed a finger to his lips, pointing at you next to them. 

“Quiet voices, Y/N and I are still sleeping.” 

You were quick to fall back asleep while Sophia tucked herself up under her uncle's chin.

“Can I have your phone?” She whispered and without opening his eyes, he reached behind him on the nightstand, feeling around for the device. When he handed it to her, she expertly unlocked it and picked her favorite app he had downloaded for her. 

“Volume off Soph.” He whispered against the crown of her head, which Sophia compiled while she started her game. 

Curtis knew he wasn’t going to be falling back to sleep, but he could just enjoy this moment of peace before the day came blaring full force, requiring him to participate. Now very grateful that he had insisted the two of you get fully dressed again just in case this happened. He let his mind wander, recalling how good a day yesterday was for all of you. The house was full of laughter and games, Sophia keeping all of you busy while the cold weather and loss of power kept you all together. 

He knew Lillian and WIlford would have wanted their house like this, full of family and friends and no longer an empty shell of what was once a home. 

Finally, Sophia got bored and announced she was leaving, so Curtis let her back out into the cool air and he pulled in closer to you, hugging around your waist to press his hand under your shirt to rest just under your breasts, making you wiggle back into him. 

“Your hand is still cold.” You muttered, pulling the blankets further over them. 

“Hmm sorry, do you want me to stop?” He nuzzled the back of your neck as he slipped further into the bed, spooning you from behind. 

“No, it's warming up now.” Your hand rubbed against his arm around you and settled over the top of it. “It’s cold out there, isn't it?” 

“Yeah Honey, I should go check that fire.” Curtis made no move to get up, just letting himself not leave his little warm bubble for a few more moments. “I was hoping Lisa or Ella would start coffee.” 

“Oh god…” You half twisted to face him, your eyes hopeful. “What are the chances?” 

He grinned, pushing up to lean over and kiss you, morning breath be damned, he was feeling good and wanted you to feel just as good. “Give me ten minutes and I will be back, with coffee.” 

You squealed in laughter as he flushed more kisses across your nose and then pulled away while you flipped all the blankets back over yourself. 

Curtis hummed as he went down the stairs, his bare feet cold on the floor when he landed on at the bottom, making him hop from one foot to the other till he got to one of the runner rugs he had scattered around the downstairs. He glanced around to see the bedroom where Lisa had the door eased open enough to let heat in but she must still be in bed. The pullout couch where Ella had slept with Sophia was back to being folded up in place, meaning his cousin must be awake. Curtis assumed Sophia was in Lisa’s bedroom by the sounds of a tablet playing a cartoon.

“I already got the fire going.” Ella said from the kitchen as she stepped into view, a steaming mug in her hands as she sipped from it. “It was chilly.” 

“Thanks, I should have gotten up and checked it earlier.” Curtis bypassed her, stealing her cup to sip from. When she smacked at his back, he flashed her a grin and took another before handing it back to her with a grimace on his face. “Too much sugar.” 

“Heathen.” Ella sputtered as she claimed her mug once more, scowling at him. “I need it to sweeten me up. Mom’s here, but you mind watching Soph for a while? I gotta get to the aquarium, check in on what the upcoming plan is and help feed. Cole already sent me a message saying he was there all night.” Ella sputtered to herself as she glanced once more at her phone. “Idiot never told me he actually needed help keeping everything functioning.”  

Curtis was busy at the stove to make you both a mug, giving a nod. “Of course, you know I’m never gonna say no to watching my favorite niece.” He motioned with his hand that she should go. 

“Your only niece and this is why I keep you around. You are useful.” Ella teased as she savored more of her coffee. 

“Glad to be useful.” Curtis pipped up as he mixed everything together. “Want me to take you over? I don’t think it snowed or anything last night. But you never know what the wind kicked onto the roads.” He peered out his back window over the sink, but it looked like yesterday, his backyard knee deep in snow.

“Nah, I’m good. Stop trying to take care of all of us.” Ella scolded him while draining the last of her cup, Curtis mimicking her with a roll of his eyes. “Have more fun today, chill out. You are just getting the hang of it.” She winked as she set her mug in the sink. “Even Mom noticed how much you have changed.” 

“What do you mean changed?” His brows arched in surprise. 

Ella continued getting ready to leave, sliding on a jacket and stuffing a scarf around her neck. “Yeah, she said you hadn’t laughed like that since you were a kid.” Ella gave a wave. “And yes, if I need anything, I will call. See you later!”

Curtis mused a moment at what Ella said. She was right though just as she had been before Christmas, he was happier. Life has been better since the beginning of September. It made him smile, a content feeling settling in his chest. 

His thoughts drifted to last night and how different even that was for him. Last night he was overcome with just needing to feel you and make you feel good. He didn’t even have his own pleasure in mind when he was with you. It was all about making you feel beautiful and appreciated. It wasn’t sex, it didn’t feel like sex. 

Sex was always good, but that wasn't it. He never was that kind of intimate with someone, rarely did he bring anyone home before and the times he was dating, sex was always just for fun. Now you lived here part time and it was still for fun, but he craved that connection it built each time as well. 

This was more and the tingles of realization tickled his mind. Love, that was love and it settled like he was wrapped in a blanket around him. 

He really loved you. 

Curtis inhaled deeply in a calming manner as he let this knowledge take hold, in the silence of his kitchen with the morning sun shining bright to light up the room, he glanced up, looking around the old kitchen, swearing he felt someone with him. 

“Is this what it's like? You two would know.” 

As he picked up the mugs to bring back upstairs, Curtis could have sworn he felt a hand on his shoulder like it was confirming that it was a yes. 

You rolled to your back, still wrapped up in clothes and blankets, the sun warming your face. A soft smile played on your lips. Last night had been incredible, you never felt such passion and connection with anyone before. It made flutters fill your belly, excited at what overcame the two of you last night. Whatever it was, you wanted more of that feeling, that feeling that it was just the two of you in the world.

Curtis had always been an affectionate man with his loved ones and that attention was what you felt last night. His complete devotion. You wanted to think of it as love, but you just weren’t quite sure that’s what it was. You thought Jake loved you, he said it early on to you and you were sure that's what it was for you too. Towards the end, he said it less and less, only when he was trying to persuade you to do something you didn’t want to. It was always the nudge to push you to do what he wanted till that last night. The memories that you had yet to talk about out loud with anyone made you shudder for a second, pushing it away. 

That was something you still weren’t ready to deal with. 

Instead, you went back to thinking about last night, your connection with Curtis, how it felt so absolute for you. Curtis never said anything beyond needing you, but it felt like so much more than just a quickie for you two. 

But you didn’t want to jump to conclusions.

You were still mulling over the sensation when Curtis came in, two mugs carefully balanced. You pushed up to a sit, taking a steaming mug gratefully to take a sip. 

He knew you well, having your coffee made just the way you liked it. “Ella is already out the door, I told her I didn’t mind watching Sophia today.” 

“Mmmh.” Your eyes closed peacefully as the caffeine worked its magic. “Anything you wanted to do? Or anything you had to do away from the house? I don’t mind sticking around with Sophia while you go out.” You offered and peeked at him while you took another sip, sensing his surprise at your offer. “What?” 

“You would do that?” Curtis asked incredulously, like you were offering the world. 

“Well yeah? Why wouldn’t I? I love hanging out with Sophia, she is such a great kid to be around.” You shrugged it off, still not seeing why he was so surprised. 

Curtis blew on his coffee before taking a rather large swallow, getting as much of the hot liquid in him as possible to prepare for his niece's energy before answering. “Not many jump at a chance to babysit, especially someone else’s kid in my experience.” He shrugged back, a grin forming on his face as he leaned forward to peck your lips affectionately. “So thank you, I know Ella would let you take Sophia anytime. But today you are stuck with me. I don’t have to go anywhere.” He set his mug down and rubbed at his head, waking himself up further. “I wish the power would come back on so I could trim this down.” His fingers tugged at the slightly longer strands, making your gaze lift. 

He might not like the longer strands, but you did. You bit at your lip and set your mug aside to shift to a kneel before him, running your hands through his hair and marveling at how soft it felt against your palm. “Not gonna lie stud, I like it.” 

A wicked gleam formed in his eyes as he watched the way you enjoyed touching him. “Do you now… I might have to keep it.” Your fingers tightened in the short hair, barely able to tug on it a bit. 

“Will you? Not for long, I just really want to…” Your fingers gave another slight pull to drag his head back to expose his neck, making you lean into it, nipping playful kisses along his bobbing adam’s apple. Your tongue darted out, another playful seduction that made Curtis groan in your hands. 

“Anything for you.” He muttered, letting himself enjoy the change in the room, both of you edging on staying in bed just like this. 

“You spoil me Curtis.” You let your hands smooth through his hair and lean into him while he wrapped you into his arms, pulling you in against him while stealing a coffee laced kiss from you. 

“As long as you will let me.” He winked and the bedroom door creaked open to show Sophia poking her head in, staring at the two of them. “What's up Sophia Bear?” Curtis questioned while you moved back for your mug on your nightstand. 

“I’m hungry!” 

Curtis pushed up and swiftly grabbed a giggling Sophia in his arms. “Alright, let's go feed you, what do you say? Brussel sprouts? Last I knew that's what little cubs like you eat.” 

You give him a look and snort into your coffee, Sophia mimicking you with utter repulsion. “Ice cream!” 

“No way kid, it's cold out already and you want ice cream? How about…. A chicken leg?” He wrapped his hand around her ankle giving it a shake and lifting like he was gonna take a bite out of it. 

“NO!” Sophia squealed, squirming till he dropped her on the bed, making her roll into you to protect her from her uncle. When she was snuggled in your side, she contemplated what he could make her. “Tater tots.” 

“Where am I supposed to get tater tots, Soph? Powers out.” Curtis flopped back on the bed next to you two. “I can make you some toast.” He started and she gave a sigh and rolled her eyes. 

“Boring.” 

You pipped up just as Curtis was gearing up with another hopeless suggestion. “Have you ever had cinnamon sugar toast?” 

“What’s that?” Sophia asked and Curtis smacked his palm against his forehead. 

“Oh I forgot all about that. Sophia wouldn't want that though… it's too good.” 

“No, I want it.” Sophia started and you shrugged, sipping from your coffee. 

“You sure, I mean… It's pretty special. Much more special then tater tots and ice cream.”

You said in all seriousness and Sophia’s eyes got huge. 

“I want it.” 

You looked at Curtis, his eyes showed relief that you were able to bring Sophia around to the suggestion of something easy. “Alright kiddo, let's go make it together.” He held his arms out and the bouncing child leaped at him, clinging around his neck while Curtis moved to a stand. “My grammy used to make this for me and your mom so I got the super-secret recipe.” He glanced over at you still curled up on the bed, savoring more of your coffee. “Take your time coming down Honey.” He dropped earnestly and you nodded with a smile, watching as the two of them headed for the stairs, Sophia now asking questions about the super secret recipe. 

You sighed in pure happiness at where you were right that moment. 

The morning went quickly, Ella sent a message saying that she was going to be at the aquarium for the day helping out, which Curtis told her to take her time. Sophia loved the cinnamon toast, which you also diced up an apple with some yogurt you had in the fridge, luckily still cold. Lisa came out later in the morning, looking bleary-eyed and angling for some hot water that you heated on the stovetop. 

You were able to keep Sophia entertained with coloring at the table while you read through some manuscripts looking for the next drama club play. Curtis was back and forth between hanging at the kitchen table, coloring with Sophia and out in his shed out behind the house, a motor once in a while sputtering to life before it would die out. Lisa spent her time in the living room, back to her crochet project. 

When you sank in the couch next to her, Sophia cuddling up under some blankets next to you to watch her tablet, you took a few more lessons from Lisa, listening to her talk about more of Curtis’s past as a kid and her own memories of her childhood in the house. 

It was late afternoon when Curtis triumphantly came inside, Sophia having just woken up from a nap in her grandmother's bed, all bundled up back in the blankets on the couch watching some other cartoon Ella had saved for her.

“How would you two feel about going for a ride?” 

“What kind of ride?” You asked, knowing he wouldn't ever consider taking the vintage Camaro out in the snow. However, Sophia jumped right up as if she knew what he was talking about. 

“Yeah!” She bolted down the hall off the kitchen for where the coat closet was. Lisa tucked the blanket over her leg all that much more. 

“Have fun and be safe.” Clearly she had no interest in going. 

“Snow machine.” Curtis grabbed your coat to hold it up, enticing you to join them. Sophia already was trying to wriggle into her snow pants. 

“Oh no way, you have one?” You asked excitedly while going to stuff your arms into the jacket sleeves. 

“Yeah, an old junker, but with some tweaking she works just fine.” Curtis admitted while you zipped up your coat. 

“It’s not gonna break down on us, is it?” You asked with a tease, but the worried hint was still there, questioning if he had to work on it.” 

“It’s fine, trust me.” He turned to help Sophia, who was almost dressed now while you were also pulling on more clothes for the wintery ride. “Right Sophia Bear?” 

“Yeah! Uncle Curtis goes fast.” 

“Not too fast!” Lisa called from the living room and Curtis huffed.

“Of course not.” Then he ushered you two out the door before any more questions could be asked. Out in the backyard, you three crossed to an older modeled two-seater. You stalled a bit, noticing it was just the one. 

“Are you sure Curtis? It might be too much with both of us on it.” 

Curtis tugged you closer, easily lifting you by your waist which you yelped in surprise and he perched you up on the back seat, making you sit slightly higher than his. “Honey, I swear this thing can easily handle more then the two of us.” Sophia was already climbing on, grabbing at the handles like she was going to drive. You fidgeted a bit while Curtis leaned forward, hands braced on the machine's seat as his forehead dipped with yours. “I also have something I really want to share with you. Please?” 

When he asked like that, how could you continue to question it? With a nod, you smiled and Curtis dipped his head enough to kiss you, making you giggle as he disappeared into the shed to go grab some helmets. You fit yours on while Curtis made sure Sophia’s was on correctly. Eventually, he swung himself onto the sled and settled with you as you wrapped your arms around his waist to press up behind him. Sophia sat in front of him, protected in his arms, excited to go. He turned the key, and the sound of the machine filled the snowy area and you lurched off into the woods, on a well-worn path Curtis had made over the years. 

It was exhilarating, watching the trees zip by as Curtis took turns on occasion, leading you further away from the house. He was sure to slow at the curves, having you all lean just right to keep the sled from tipping on the uneven ground. Eventually, you guys made your way towards the snowy covered lake, severely frozen over in the late winter months, all across it were tracks where other people enjoyed the freedom the lake provided. Sophia squealed excitedly from the front, loving the rush of the machine with all the speed it gave. Curtis revved the motor several times, making her all that more excited. 

He took you along the lake’s edge, letting you all see the quiet expanse of the town, just the occasional lights and hums from someone’s generators making a disturbance in the quickening approaching evening. The sky was turning all hues of color, stars quickly dotting the landscape's edge of the lake. The wind howled across, making you feel the bite of it escaping under the helmet and you would hide your face against Curtis’s shoulder when he turned the machine towards the middle of the lake, opening it up fully to zip further away from the shore. It wasn't far though before he started slowing back down, the ice far ahead was giving way to choppy water where the lake was to wild to freeze over.

You lifted your head to admire the way the snow glinted off the bit of light coming from the stars and moon above where twilight finally gave way to the night sky. The frozen crystals started putting on a show, once the motor quieted, the water could be heard even from quite a distance away. You leaned off Curtis’s strong back to sit up straight again, tugging off the helmet to let the cool air wash over your face. Curtis swung off onto the ice and helped Sophia off. 

“Soph, what are the rules when we are on the lake?” 

“No going past Mater.” She patted the snow machine and Curtis gave a nod before letting her go. 

Sophia pushed herself across like she was ice skating on her boots, back towards the shore. He popped his helmet off and held out his hands to help you off as well. Swinging your leg over the seat, you slipped off, sliding into his arms, which he held you up with a grin. “Watch out, it's slick Honey.” 

“We need ice skates.” You clutched at his jacket till you were steady.

“Next time we can grab some. I have a bunch stored in the shed I kept the snow machine in. The snow is kept just shallow enough here by the wind to easily skate.” Curtis backed up slowly, taking your hands and bringing you with him while Sophia shot around you two, giggling and dancing to some music she was imagining.

“Is your snowmobile named Mater, after the Disney truck?” You asked as he suddenly swung you closer, making you two grip at each other.

“Last winter she was obsessed with Cars. She named the Camaro Lightning McQueen.” 

You laughed with a tilt of your head. “Perfect name. You know, I used to skate all the time with Jade when we both lived in Lake George together. When she moved to Florida, no one was interested.” You shared while you two slipped on the ice, using each other for balance. “What did you want to show me?” 

“Look up Honey.” His head tilted back and you followed suit to see a night sky as brilliant as your first date. Only here the Milky Way took over, stretching overhead in a light-colored streak, dappled with so many stars it was impossible to count them all. “Do you know what mythology says that is?” 

You gave a slight shake of your head, still in awe of the miracle above you. Curtis turned you around so you were tucked under his chin, your back pressed to his chest. “That’s the bifrost or birost depending on what you're reading. A rainbow bridge from earth to Asgard, where the Norse gods live.” 

“Did Wilford tell you that?” You questioned as you admired the sky, appreciating all that much more, you could tell from Curtis’s tone that it was a thing of beauty and wonder for him too. 

“He did, he would bring me out here on nights like this. Usually ice fishing, we had to hike out here. But I always looked forward to it, when you get to see something like this…” His tone drifted off, tucking his face in closer to your neck, you could feel the warmth of him seeping into you. Around you Sophia plopped in the snow, singing Frosty the Snowman although it was the very beginning of March. “Honey, I gotta tell you something. I’ve been waiting all day, for this moment really..” 

You tore your gaze away from the wonder above you, trepidation seeping into your pores. Curtis sounded so serious what you turned in his hold, to face him. Whatever he was going to say, you wanted it to your face, so that there was no mistaking what it was.

“Honey…” His hands came up to your cool face, the touch warming you as calloused fingers slid against the softness of your full cheeks. “I love you, I have for a while and right now, when I get to show you some of my favorite wonders in this world that I have never wanted to share with anyone else, you have to know.”

You let out a huff of surprise at his words, not at all what you were expecting. Your lips parted, unsure of what you were about to say because so much was filling your mind in this moment, standing before Curtis, someone who treated you better then anyone ever has before.

“Before you say it Honey, mean it. I don’t want you feeling like you need to say it because I did… do it when you are ready to, if you ever are.” 

That was it, you literally couldn't fall more in love with him anymore and you shook your gloves off to fall at your snow-covered boots. You placed your warm hands over his on your cheeks, to feel his hold in your own and luck would have it warm up his fingers with yours as you weaved your touch into his, tucking his hands down and closer to your heart, your warmth able to fill him. 

“Curtis of course I love you! You showed me what I wanted in this life, what being with someone should be like. You have so much to give to everyone in your life and every day I count myself lucky to be yours, to be able to love you back.”

His blue eyes were soft in the small bit of light the Milky Way provided. Around you Sophia was still entertaining herself, flinging herself across the ice and smacking into Curtis’s legs, making the two of you tumble on the ice into the snow, laughter ringing out from you. A very shocked Curtis rolled off you enough to make sure you were okay while Sophia pulled herself up off the ground. Curtis gave a quick glance at his niece, who was happily back to skating on the patch of ice before turning back to you. 

“Are you okay?” He leaned over as you lay in the snow under him, looking up once more at the Milky Way streaking across the night sky, so clear without the light pollution from the nearby city. 

“More than okay Curtis.” You pushed yourself up on your elbows, facing him. “I'm the happiest I have ever been and that is because I am with you.” You felt his arm slip under you, pulling you up enough to share the most passionate kiss you have ever experienced. 

The stars shine as your witness.

[thebirdandhersong]

Okay y'all it is over it is done the conversation has been had he knows I love him we are still friends I have cried my eyes out properly I have laughed again my heart will keep on hurting for a while but it is FINISHED

[upperranktwo]

☆Oikawa Tōru☆

little gift for Mica ♡ @princesstooru

[wvldorf]

l.u.s.h love u so hard

[skrunksthatwunk]

ok so. kiwami 2. rooftop scene. the ending. it's a bit of a clusterfuck but i wanna talk about one detail, a problem they bring to your attention by Fucking. Talking About Her.

haruka is watching all of this unfold.

[this post is like 4.5k words long + pretty critical + has spoilers for kiwami and kiwami 2, and really minor/vague ones for a couple others. they're not that bad though, trust me (and i added a warning in the one place it is major)]

ALSO CONTENT WARNING i'm gonna talk about kiryu's passive suicidality a good amount in this one, so stay away from this if you think that might affect you negatively/you'd be better off skipping it. i'll also make a tl;dr (which i will highlight in red) at the very end if you really wanna know what my point is that will exclude those elements <3. i am also going to use a lot of choice-based language in regards to kiryu's contemplation of suicide because i think it's the lens through which the games treat the topic, but i personally don't find it a productive or realistic way to look at suicide or suicidal ideation at all. someone dying by suicide absolutely does not mean they don't care about their loved ones enough to fight on or whatever. i love you, and proceed with caution on this one.

(also i'm using the kiwamis as my point of reference because i uh. don't have a ps2? those are the games that i played, and though the differences are likely slight, i wanna be clear about that. also,, ignore the watermark on these screenshots,, i didn't notice them and i'm not retaking them. we're all gonna have to settle for youtube cutscene comps for now xoxo)

first, we have to talk about the ending of the first game.

[note: i am Really Really Confident kiryu has a conversation earlier in the game about his going to jail in nishiki's stead being him running away and choosing not to resist his two options (go to jail or let nishiki go to jail) and define his own path, fighting his way against fate to make it happen. part of why i'm so confident it exists is because it made such an impression on me at the time. it's pretty important to my interpretation of things but i also can't find it for the life of me, so uh. sorry ✌️ i really tried. this post's takes/analysis will be dependent on this scene existing, so keep that in mind. if anyone knows where to find the scene/screenshots of it, lmk and i'll add a follow-up with it]

kiwami stuff

so as she's dying, yumi tells haruka this:

that she may be dying (painfully, and right as she's getting everything she wanted), but she doesn't regret it, because at least she did something rather than running away from it all. that you shouldn't run away, ever.

shortly thereafter, when the police find kiryu and haruka, this exchange happens between him and date. here's the play by play:

date tells kiryu he can get him out of trouble with this, and that if he doesn't, he'll get life in prison; kiryu declines his help:

kiryu is so devastated (understandably) by the back to back losses of the three people closest to him that he resigns himself to life in prison, and the death-in-effect that would be. he would prefer to waste away rather than struggle through a life without them. prison was monotonous and isolating, but coming back after a decade was overwhelming, and coming back to everything being so warped and twisted, and then losing the corrupted scraps he had anyway, well. he wants to go back to sleep. he doesn't want to be in a world where everything's the same except he's on his own. better to return to safety, to die slowly in a hell he knows well than weather a new one where he has control and agency, and thus one where he has the ability to fail and to lose anything at any time. he explains to date that that loss is why he can accept his death:

date shakes him and asks him if there's really nothing left for him, no reason to keep living at all:

then echoes yumi's advice to haruka:

which makes an impression on kiryu:

date gives him a reason to live in the form of haruka, saying she'll be on her own again if he goes to jail. he hijacks kiryu's tragic protector complex to keep him alive, because she needs him, and because she's someone precious to him:

after the dust has cleared,

kiryu and date also have this exchange, where date tells him to stay away from the cops (and presumably arrest and a return to prison, the aforementioned fate akin to death), and kiryu cites haruka as his reason to stay away, one he holds to with no uncertainty (showing again that he's accepted date's logic, that his reason to keep living even when it's incredibly difficult is to care for the more vulnerable haruka). given the weight of the consequences, to me, it feels like date's telling him not to be alone with his thoughts or something. it's almost frightening:

so, what's our takeaway from kiwami?

kiryu lost everything and hit rock bottom, but he chose to fight, and to live life on his own terms, even when it got difficult. that's the narrative life lesson he had to learn to avoid repeating the events of 1995. he made that choice for haruka's sake. it's seen as growth.

and without him, haruka would've just returned to the orphanage (assuming she could make it back to sunflower at all) with no one who knew or understood what she had been through, no one to mourn with her, and no one to give her the attention, care, and protection she needs. kiryu knows what it's like to be an orphan with a limited parental figure who only checks in every so often (kazama, "aunt" yumi), and what someone will do for attention/affection from that person (via both himself and nishiki swearing up, climbing the ranks, etc. arguably haruka coming to kamurocho by herself to find "mizuki" is similar), and what it's like to lose them anyway (again, kazama, yumi). their situations parallel each others' somewhat, and that binds them further. and after losing everyone (which he blames himself for to some extent, as one can probably assume from this and 2, and something key to his arc in later games), he chooses to protect her. and this time, he won't fail. at least partially because failing would hurt him, too. he'd have nothing left again.

okay. now we get to kiwami 2.

if you forgot, the context is basically:

everybody's fighting on the roof of a building which i'm sure will not be a running theme or anything as the series goes on

there's a bomb that's about to go off and they don't know how to/can't defuse it

ryuji shot the twist villain to death, but took fatal hits to do so

sayama's like hey!! let's get out of here!!! and kiryu and ryuji are like nooo we have to settle this oughh it's punchin time and they stick her on an elevator and send her down so she doesn't have to watch

ryuji loses. sayama returns, they have a cute sibling heart to heart, and ryuji dies in her arms. sad

kiryu is in rough shape as well, and there's like 2 minutes left on the bomb's timer

here's the scene itself:

sayama tells kiryu they have to run, and kiryu says he can't. the gist is "let's run!" "you go without me" "i'm not leaving you!" "i'm in no condition to run" "i'll carry you then!!" sayama: *sees how fucked up kiryu is, realizes he's Going To Die Anyway* "ok, then i'm staying with you!" and then further bickering about that, before they give up and make out (as one does i guess)

date (he's here now) yells this at them from a helicopter:

before someone else in the helicopter tells date this:

we get this shot of haruka calling out to kiryu as the helicopter swerves away:

and kiryu and sayama have this exchange about haruka where they say they let her down, but that she'll understand:

then they hug and the bomb ticks to zero right when the credits hit. in post credits it's revealed that the twist villain defused the bomb when they weren't looking, betraying his co-villain for reasons i truthfully do not remember and am unwilling to look up. it's not about that right now.

so, how does this scene interact with the ending of the previous game?

the short answer is "badly <3" but here's the long answer:

it's about choices.

the thing about fiction is that anything you want to have happen, as a writer, can happen. it may not be effective, internally consistent, or logical, but you can write it regardless. audiences suspend their disbelief for the sake of engaging fully with your fiction, but everyone has a threshold past which they will stop being engaged in a story and either become uninvested or annoyed. writers usually have lines they're unwilling to cross as well. but in almost every story, there's at least a couple of places where they stretch reality a little to make the narrative they want happen. this is not a bad thing at all. that's how stories get told.

now, i'm gonna be real with you. i don't care about how feasible plots are like 95% of the time. it's not something i think about much, nor is it something i prioritize. i am a very character-centric media consumer, so if world building and/or plot are a bit stale or contrived, that doesn't really bother me much so long as i'm invested in the characters involved. some people can't stand plot holes or the ways musicals burst into song or whatever, and that's fine for them. but it's not something i tend to find that all that important.

this is all to say that i have a sorta affection for rgg's flavor of bullshit pulling. and it is a powerful flavor, maybe even an acquired taste, but i can and do rock with it so long as it doesn't damage the characters too much. this is why i'm not making a lengthy post howling into the void about joji kazama or the second joon-gi han or how many secret relatives there are. those things are silly and endearing and a clumsy yet heartfelt part of a series i care about very deeply. i'll joke about it, but i don't consider it much of a flaw. it's more like personality. flaws are texture, and they help a piece's identity. point is i am very, very willing and able to suspend my disbelief for these games in exchange for a good time, particularly via good characters.

(if you want another example of where i draw the line from within rgg, the answer's the YAKUZA 4 SPOILERS INCOMING rubber bullets twist, because i think 1) it's actively horrifically stupid (especially retconning a scene we SAW HAPPEN. WE SAW BLOOD ON EACH IMPACT, AND RUBBER BULLETS DON'T OFTEN BREAK SKIN THAT DEEPLY (THEIR DAMAGE IS MORE PERCUSSIVE THAN PENETRATIVE). THESE EVENTS HAPPEN IN THE SAME GAME YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETCON IT JUST REWRITE IT. OR DON'T SHOW THE HIT AT ALL SO THERE'S MORE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. DON'T DO THIS JUST TO HYPE UP YOUR SHITTY VILLAIN NO ONE CARES ABOUT. and 2) (a bit more importantly) i think it actively removes saejima's primary internal conflict for that game, that being his intense guilt over the 18 murders he thinks he committed, one i was invested and interested in. but this isn't a rubber bullets post.)

characters in this series walk off a lot of life threatening injuries. they survive miraculously, they escape in the nick of time, and they pull through in the end. kiryu still somehow hasn't killed anyone. almost every game in his saga ends with an "is kiryu gonna make it out this time?!?" shortly followed by a "yeah lol. lmao" postcredits reveal. kiryu fucking punches a marble statue into dust in the first game. having a story that asks you to suspend your disbelief so much and so often means that when a decision is made, it's not the writers saying, "well, this would have to happen so we are obligated/forced to write it happening" so much as "we wanted this to happen for some reason(s)," because you already know that they're not guided solely by logic. again, this is true of all writers, it's just amplified in stories like these because they've already given you so many hard mode suspension of disbelief moments (they've broken you in like leather, yeah? or like how obvious internet scams allow for self selection by being so obvious that only the most vulnerable people would fall for them. they curate an audience willing to play along with their bullshit flavor so they can tell a story that's more likely to satisfy that audience. in a good way, in a fun way! mass appeal is overrated). there is not much limit to what this series is willing to try and sell you.

so when ryuji takes lethal damage taking out the big bad, that's a choice. when he doesn't die immediately, that's a choice. when ryuji and kiryu send sayama away in the soon-to-be-forgotten elevator so they can settle this like men or whatever despite the literal actual bomb about to go off, that's a choice. when sayama comes back, that's a choice. when ryuji does die, that's a choice. when kiryu determines that he can't escape in time, that's a choice. when sayama is unwilling to leave him, that's a choice. when she says she'll carry him out and there's an elevator right fucking there and then she's like never mind i guess i won't anymore we're dying together right now kiryu like they're not gonna even try?? wouldn't distancing themselves from the blast give themselves a better shot, something that's super possible given the 2 minutes they have with that elevator??? sayama you met him like a week and a half ago why are you ready to die with him that's not a plot hole i just think that's kinda strange whatever anyway, that's a choice. when kiryu stops arguing with her so they can kiss (next to her brother's corpse), that's a choice. when date shows up, that's a choice. when the helicopter can't save them because the bomb was going to go off too soon, that's a choice. when they put haruka in that helicopter and take her away, let her only impact be reminding kiryu and sayama that they can't help her, that's a choice. when they spend their last moments talking as if they're already dead, then simply waiting, that's a choice.

they're all choices that the writers made for the characters, and we are asked to believe them for the sake of achieving the writers' vision, as with any story. the only problem is that the writers' vision here fucking blows.

i'm not saying it would be realistic for kiryu and sayama (and even ryuji) to make it out alive, but it wouldn't be out of character for the series in the slightest. kiryu is suddenly unable to power through here, and that's a choice. so, what is their vision?

put simply, i think they wanted a romantic last stand for kiryu and sayama, a tragic scene of doomed, devoted lovers. and i think they wanted an edge-of-your-seat fake out death. they wanted spectacle.

here's how some specific choices they made undermine all that shit we talked about earlier from the first game.

once again, kiryu is called by date to live, to pick himself up and keep going, no matter how impossible the odds are. he's even reminded by haruka's presence, his one anchor in keeping himself going. the growth he had in the parallel scene in the previous game is challenged, and he fails.

it's not enough this time. and that's a choice.

it's also one i can't think of a good reason for, and that's the real kicker.

characters can have developmental backslide just like people do, and if they're given good reason for it, it can be just as, if not far more compelling that purely linear growth (i am a chimera ant arc enjoyer, and that's all i'll say. sorry if you haven't seen hunter x hunter. uhh. i am also a zuko avatar enjoyer if that helps). but i can't think of anything that happened in that game that would cause this from a character perspective. if anything, kiryu should be less likely to do this intentionally. he's spent around a year raising haruka, and a year has passed since he lost his loved ones. at the very least, the pain should be more dull, though it is established through an early nightmare sequence that his ass is (justifiably) not over it yet. given that their deaths were the initial motivation for his willingness to rot forever, theoretically, he should be more motivated to stay alive than before now that he's got more investment and stability in his life outside of them, particularly when it comes to haruka, his reason for surviving. and if the ongoing nature of the trauma was the motivator for this, then they should've had it affect him more past that nightmare scene (it really serves more as a recap of the last game than anything else) so it didn't come out of nowhere. so the reminder of the lesson that saved his life and then guided it for at least a year afterwards, one that the whole resolution of the previous game relied on heavily falls flat for... some reason.

i think this is a good time to mention that, generally speaking, you don't write arbitrary choices into characters. sure, people in real life are often sporadic, but when analyzing fictional characters, every choice is filed into a portfolio of characterization that can and should be analyzed. going for pure realism can obfuscate their development, motivations, themes, etc. their choices and reactions may be unorthodox, but they must be internally consistent. this is very related to how i view plot contrivance as well. characters drive the plot, not the other way around. stories are about the ways characters affect their worlds/lives and vice versa, and they're the human face to the themes and ideas the writers are trying to explore and express. maybe my stance on this seems hypocritical. i don't know if it is. but to me, plot issues are usually a matter of engagement and investment, while character issues are a matter of substance.

i hope this doesn't feel patronizing explaining all of this, but i want you guys to know where i'm coming from in my analysis. starting at my base philosophy on writing is the easiest way to do that, i feel. defining the terms of the debate, and all that. anyway

and i mean, look. they survive because "it was defused the whole time we just didn't see it happen", so it's not like narrative tension or realism or whatever was THAT big of a priority overall. if it was gonna be a cop-out anyway, they should'nt have ruined kiryu's development too, yeah?. and sayama fucks off to america after this game anyway, so it's not like the doomed lovers thing had much payoff or meaning after this one (though you could argue that's more an issue with yakuza 3 than yk2, which has some merit to it). which means that they chose to sacrifice kiryu's prior development and internal logic for the sake of cheap tension for their finale that was both kinda illogical in and of itself (the elevator!! the elevator!!!) and a romantic climax that neither required nor really benefitted from this staging. (like. you coulda had them make out and then get saved by date, or kiss on the elevator in a "it's moving, but will we make it in time??" way or whatever. look i'm not saying those are great options either but they're SOMETHING okay. it would remove/reduce the amount of time wasted on characters sitting around with their thumbs up their asses for no reason in this finale).

instead the message of this finale is that, actually, sometimes it is impossible to change your circumstances and fight for your own way out of an awful situation. and what should you do about this unfortunate truth? uh. die! i guess. it's the exact opposite of the encouraging, optimistic message of the last game. zetsubou chou pride my ass.

note: i feel i should mention that when suicidality is brought up within the series (particularly in substories), it is always something someone has to overcome themselves through wanting it badly enough. they simply need the inspiration and the motivation to keep going. it's arguably treated as a moral obligation. frankly, the series is broadly very meritocratic (<- bad) when it comes to this topic (and others, but that's a Whole Other Thing. see akiyama's weird loan shark tests as well). sheer will and resolve is enough to conquer any problem, be it physical or mental/emotional, and it's irresponsible to act/feel otherwise. this is the logic the games operating under, and kiryu is often the mouthpiece for this bootstrap-pulling "tough love" sentiment. so when kiryu "chooses" to die, yet faces no emotional fallout from date, haruka, or anyone else, it feels very out of place. it's not just an odd choice; it's specifically, once again, an odd choice to make in context of the game/series/character it appears in.

kiryu's just like eh, haruka'll watch her only family die right as she gets some sense of tentative stability and lets her guard down after a devastating month the year prior (and a relatively dismal upbringing before that) that we trauma bonded over. sure, she likely came to view me as the one who would stay no matter what, who was too strong to be taken out, who she could always rely on, and so i know that dying would hurt her immensely, but she's smart enough to know it'd happen eventually. her eventual recovery means it's okay for me to do this (somehow, in a way it wasn't in the first game). it's an excuse within the narrative's logic, and one it is uncritical of simply because it's kiryu. he gets a pass.

and i think with the previously mentioned passive suicidality and general series-long mental health issues kiryu displays (i mean. yakuza 5's literally his depression arc), this could be retroactively seen as an interesting choice, like a piece in that particular narrative. i don't even dislike that viewing, especially in terms of fan approach. but (assuming this went down the same in yakuza 2), they likely didn't have that in mind. all they had then was the first game and the movie. and they took the first game's Entire Message and contradicted it for nothing but a scene they wanted to have happen because it'd be suspenseful and/or emotional (without actually doing the work to earn it). and they're not fans trying to analyze his character, they're the ones making choices for him. and they chose to massacre my boy. and if the subject of kiryu's mental health was a priority of theirs, why didn't they explore that? haruka and date's feelings on him not resisting and their words not being enough (whether that blame is justified by the narrative or not (it shouldn't be btw)), the uncomfortable drifting that resigning yourself to death and living afterwards anyway often brings, literally any conversation about it besides the minimal shit we get post credits of date being like "did you know about the bomb not having a fuse?" which like. bad answer either way (which is why they weren't straightforward about it, the cowards). you can't just be like "oh uh. idk he just gave up this time. yeah he was gonna die on purpose for some reason. good thing the bomb was fake lol" and then pack up and go home!! that's stupid!! any merit the idea of kiryu dying by suicide in this scene and in this way could have had from a character-based perspective loses its weight because 1. it didn't happen (for kinda stupid reasons), which makes it fall flat and 2. no one is really affected by the fact that it almost did, including him. they sacrificed his ass and replaced it with nothing, even when there could have been interesting outcomes to it.

so the narrative effectively chose to kill him by making the situation impossible, and this impossibility is ultimately arbitrary, given the series' usual approach to miraculous, illogical escapes. that, or the choice to stay was up to kiryu and sayama, one that 1. doesn't make sense and is actively regressive in context of kiryu's arc in the only other game in the series (as well as his whole saga in retrospect) and 2. one that contradicts how the series sees/treats resignation to death/death by suicide in all other contexts without being addressed, challenged, or condemned in ways it would in all other contexts. because they don't want you to think about it like that. they want you to think he (and the narrative) had no choice, that it made sense to do that. but it didn't. it doesn't.

and look, honestly? if i was bleeding out and had like 2 minutes to live, there's a non zero chance i'd say fuck it and kiss a girl too. i get it. but i am (and this is crucial) not a fucking yakuza character. and i'm certainly not kiryu kazuma.

tl;dr (basically just rephrasing the second to last main paragraph)

there are not sufficient character reasons for kiryu and sayama not trying to escape. additionally, because the narrative regularly facilitates even less likely escapes, it's not so constrained to logic and reality that it couldn't pull this one off. the choice to let their situation be impossible this one time was a cheap and arbitrary way of forcing a scene they thought would be cool and dramatic, and in doing so they chose to cannibalize a key emotional note of the previous finale (namely kiryu's mission to dedicate his life to protecting haruka) for hollow last minute stakes-upping in this one. it is then completely disregarded anyway. god damn.

[lloydfrontera]

Seems like tged is making you sad and angry about different parts, stop quick question: which summon would you prefer to pet? Assuming Lloyd isn't charging you for it.

ppodong no questions or hesitation. gimme the hamster rn.

i am guilty of the exact same thing as lloyd, my favorite child is very much ppodong, closely followed by bangul, then hamang and finally ggoming. i am not impartial nor above playing favorites (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

[sadrockandwaltzes]

Musical Musings

Sometimes I feel like the only thing that can save my heavy dirty soul is Queen

[beeapocalypse]

<-- it was forced to think about the honey sweet magic system

[8aji]

TINA YOU HAVE THE SAME BDAY AS DRAKEN? LUCKYYYY

mine is 6 days after <3

I DO I DO !!! I SWEAR WHEN I FOUND OUT I COULDNT STOP SCREAMING !! AND AND OMG that means the two of us are part of the taurus gang >:) ill make sure to write it down on my calendar !!

[gworlinterrupted]

whoever said i date like a lesbian is right

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Good moaning. 😇

Well, you're a menace and I sat thinking about how pretty Curtis's eyes were, how tempting his beard was, and how he would just love on you that it was all-consuming. So here we are, another unplanned piece that I am currently loving for them. Thank you babes!

All His

A Curtis x Honey Drabble.

Summary- Curtis can't get enough of you being his.

18+ Only Blog.

A/N- Thanks for reading! It would be appreciated if you could leave a comment and/or reblog if you enjoyed what you read.

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet Masterlist

If he was a patient man, he would draw you right now.

Sheets crumpled across the bed with you stretched across them, your hands pushed into your hair as your body arched, quivering still in the aftermath of your last orgasm.

Your legs were bent with your toes digging into the mattress, your thighs had slapped together earlier when he pulled away, an uncontrolled move on your part as you moaned his name. In relief or a plea, he wasn't sure, nor did he care.

Your ass pressed against the bed, muscles taunt as you still rode that high. His hands curled around your hips, thumbs circling to merely touch your soft skin there. Your arousal glinted in your pubic curls, making him bite his own lip with the temptation to bury himself into you again.

Tongue or cock, he really couldn't decide what was better, either way, what bliss for him. "Good girl Honey." He rumbled out when you gave a soft sob, you were still struggling to come back down in the sweetest way. Unable to help himself from making you squirm a little while longer, his hand dipped between thick clenching thighs to swipe his fingers slowly around your clit.

So slow as you were sensitive, the slight touch still made you jerk. "Curtis."

"I know Pretty Girl, but you are so beautiful right now, I just want to see you like this a little longer." Your belly quivered as your body tightened again at his touch, the arch in your back just bending you that much more beautifully, he did that, made you into living artwork for him.

His plush lips curled around a tight nipple, an offering he wasn't about to say no to. Your hands unraveled from your hair, grasping at the back of his head as he dragged in more, knowing you loved the sharpness of his teeth and warmth of his tongue. You pushed him harder against you as you gasped.

Did you know the needing ache your noises caused? He had to get another one just like it, Curtis wanted all those noises for him, just him. They made his eyes blow almost black as you made it again when he claimed your other nipple, his fingers still buried between your clenched thighs working just a bit faster. "Oh god..." You panted, your nails curling to scrape against his scalp and dropping to his shoulder to grab on tighter.

Sinking into the bunched muscle like it could possibly save you. "I'm gonna come." His mouth smirked against your breast. Hell yes you are, it's mine.

You finally collapsed, spent into the mattress, pushing now at his head to make him back off with a pathetic whimper. "Please Curtis."

"I got you Honey, you did so good." Curtis knew he had to stop, at least for a little bit. You were twitching at the slightest brush of his body against yours as he pulled himself up to cup your face, letting his mouth skim across your parted lips while you tried to catch your breath. "Always so good for me Pretty Girl."

You curled into him, and he pulled you in close, his hand rubbing at your back to help relax you. "Yeah?" came your voice finally, needing that reassurance. Curtis didn't mind, he knew that sometimes you struggled by how much he loved you, craved you, worshipped you. You never had that commitment before and you were still wrapping your mind around it being possible.

It was easy for Curtis to do.

"So good Baby, when you're ready, I'm going to fuck you so good, make you feel how hard you make me, every damn inch will be swallowed by your cunt." His words were whispered in your ear, making you shiver excitedly in his arms. You finally lifted your face enough to look at him, unable to hide the excited little grin, your teeth tugging at your bottom lip. A playful little moan escaped you as you moved your mouth close to his.

Curtis should be patient, but he had a raging hard-on for you now that was driving him to the brink. His lips crashed to yours, swallowing your noises for himself. Your hand swept between the two of you, wrapping your fingers around his cock, circling your thumbs tip around his head. "Fuck me Curtis."

"Spread those thighs Pretty Girl, let me see my cunt take this cock." Curtis ordered, splaying you on your back once again with your legs falling open for him, without any hesitation of what he would see. "Fucking beautiful."

[inkblot-inc]

Yelena gives both Jaws and Natasha the shovel talk after they get together. She knows they’re adults and they can handle themselves but they can’t go and hurt each other. She loves them both too much.

I wanna say that these conversations happened seperatlely

It doesn't surprise Natasha that Yelena would want to have the talk with Jaws because she would do the same thing for her, you know ✨sister tingz✨, but she does take a second to really appreciate how close Yelena and Jaws must be for Yelena to have that same talk with her as well.

I also feel like Jaws would take the warning not to hurt Natasha to heart, not in a bad way mind you, just that they themselves are very conscious not to hurt Nat (physically mainly).

[snowshinobi]

still not over the time i told a recent friend (now recent bf) i liked his shirt (pale blue-grey polo w narrow white horizontal stripes, compliments his fluffy light brown hair + hazel eyes) and several lunch walks later he said he can’t remember the last time someone complimented him on his outfit. i think my heart audibly cracked

[deadnamed]

Hehe we are already making plans for next Saturday

[nxmeolvides]

sender takes photo of receiver [ Leland ]

thinking ... Ana is lost in her thoughts, maybe she is studying or they are just chilling in her room & she spaces out— Leland looks around cause he doesn't wanna bother her, finds a camera and takes a polaroid of her— being all goofy about it with that big smile when she looks over at him, saying something like he's gonna save that one for himself

It’s a sweet, lazy afternoon that she finds herself in. Free of classes for the weekend, Ana has once again gravitated her way towards River like it’s the simplest thing in the world: as if there’s nowhere else she should even be, but by his side. It’s the same, freeing comfort that’s been filling her chest when he’s around for months now: a special, golden giddiness that makes her feel light on her feet. It doesn’t matter that she has a work shift waiting for her later - for now, she gets him. 

These days, she thinks his company is one of the kindest gifts the world could have graced her with.

Having already gone through the routine of offering him a drink, trusting him to sort them both snacks since she feels too lazy to do it, Ana has let herself indulge in the stupid, wonderful comfort of collapsing into a useless lump on her bed. Sunlight streaming through her window, its warmth lulls her into a state of security: they’d spent maybe an hour just talking, sitting around, before he’d encouraged her to rest a little before she sent herself off to work. As usual, these days, she couldn’t really bring herself to say no.

So, dark hair haloed around her, Ana lets her eyes rest shut: the easy comfort of the turntable on her dresser lulling her further into a sense of calm. A serene smile crosses her lips, tugging just slightly at the edges as she hears River hum along to an occasional note of music. She’d given him permission to rifle through her family’s collection of records - a box sitting permanently underneath her bed that was filled with hers and Maria’s favourites. So far, the choices had turned out pretty good.

As the sweet sound of classical guitar soothes over her, Ana wonders idly what his next choice will be: having completely forgotten about the other things sitting around, packed away safely in cardboard boxes. She doesn’t anticipate the camera flash - startled out of her daze as her eyebrows raise, the short burst of white echoing behind her eyelids. The picture of surprise, Ana opens her eyes slowly, propping herself on her elbows and looking to River in question. Now standing over her, - and when had she missed him standing there?- River lowers the guilty camera, grinning in that boyish, disarming way that always has warmth rising through her chest.

“Gonna keep this one for myself,” he teases, backing away, and Ana exhales a short breath as she shifts to sit upright.

“Alright, very funny – hand it over, Leland,” she says, reaching for the camera even as he moves out of her reach. “Where did you even find that?”

[jadenvargen]

free online james baldwin stories, essays, videos, and other resources

**edit

James baldwin online archive with his articles and photo archives.

---NOVELS---

Giovanni's room"When David meets the sensual Giovanni in a bohemian bar, he is swept into a passionate love affair. But his girlfriend's return to Paris destroys everything. Unable to admit to the truth, David pretends the liaison never happened - while Giovanni's life descends into tragedy. This book introduces love's fascinating possibilities and extremities."

Go Tell It On The Mountain"(...)Baldwin's first major work, a semi-autobiographical novel that has established itself as an American classic. With lyrical precision, psychological directness, resonating symbolic power, and a rage that is at once unrelenting and compassionate, Baldwin chronicles a fourteen-year-old boy's discovery of the terms of his identity as the stepson of the minister of a storefront Pentecostal church in Harlem one Saturday in March of 1935. Baldwin's rendering of his protagonist's spiritual, sexual, and moral struggle of self-invention opened new possibilities in the American language and in the way Americans understand themselves."

+bonus: film adaptation on youtube. (if you’re a giancarlo esposito fan, you’ll be delighted to see him in an early preacher role)

Another Country and Going to Meet the Man Another country: "James Baldwin's masterly story of desire, hatred and violence opens with the unforgettable character of Rufus Scott, a scavenging Harlem jazz musician adrift in New York. Self-destructive, bad and brilliant, he draws us into a Bohemian underworld pulsing with heat, music and sex, where desperate and dangerous characters betray, love and test each other to the limit." Going to meet the Man: " collection of eight short stories by American writer James Baldwin. The book, dedicated "for Beauford Delaney", covers many topics related to anti-Black racism in American society, as well as African-American–Jewish relations, childhood, the creative process, criminal justice, drug addiction, family relationships, jazz, lynching, sexuality, and white supremacy."

Just Above My Head"Here, in a monumental saga of love and rage, Baldwin goes back to Harlem, to the church of his groundbreaking novel Go Tell It on the Mountain, to the homosexual passion of Giovanni's Room, and to the political fire that enflames his nonfiction work. Here, too, the story of gospel singer Arthur Hall and his family becomes both a journey into another country of the soul and senses--and a living contemporary history of black struggle in this land."

If Beale Street Could Talk"Told through the eyes of Tish, a nineteen-year-old girl, in love with Fonny, a young sculptor who is the father of her child, Baldwin's story mixes the sweet and the sad. Tish and Fonny have pledged to get married, but Fonny is falsely accused of a terrible crime and imprisoned. Their families set out to clear his name, and as they face an uncertain future, the young lovers experience a kaleidoscope of emotions-affection, despair, and hope. In a love story that evokes the blues, where passion and sadness are inevitably intertwined, Baldwin has created two characters so alive and profoundly realized that they are unforgettably ingrained in the American psyche."

also has a film adaptation by moonlight's barry jenkins

Tell Me How Long the Train's been gone At the height of his theatrical career, the actor Leo Proudhammer is nearly felled by a heart attack. As he hovers between life and death, Baldwin shows the choices that have made him enviably famous and terrifyingly vulnerable. For between Leo's childhood on the streets of Harlem and his arrival into the intoxicating world of the theater lies a wilderness of desire and loss, shame and rage. An adored older brother vanishes into prison. There are love affairs with a white woman and a younger black man, each of whom will make irresistible claims on Leo's loyalty. 

---ESSAYS---

Baldwin essay collection. Including most famously: notes of a native son, nobody knows my name, the fire next time, no name in the street, the devil finds work- baldwin on film

--DOCUMENTARIES--

Take this hammer, a tour of san Francisco.

Meeting the man

--DEBATES:--

Debate with Malcolm x, 1963 ( on integration, the nation of islam, and other topics. )

Debate with William Buckley, 1965. ( historic debate in america. )

Heavily moderated debate with Malcolm x, Charles Eric Lincoln, and Samuel Schyle 1961. (Primarily Malcolm X's debate on behalf of the nation of islam, with Baldwin giving occassional inputs.)

----

apart from themes obvious in the book's descriptions, a general heads up for themes of incest and sexual assault throughout his works.