#like 6 bugs on the counter. 3 in the sink. like 5 in water bottle. killing myself i'm so srs <- not srs actually.

[lifblogs]

Livin In You: Chapter 9

Fandom: Supernatural Pairing: Destiel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1011 Summary: Castiel is a mental health worker who is just fine with the way his life is. The only thing that really bugs him is how much his co-worker, and friend, Meg, mentions Dean Winchester, the most famous rock star in the modern age. Meg drags him to a concert, and he ends up getting tied into the wild and angsty life of Dean Winchester. Suddenly his old life seems boring, but so much calmer. Suddenly, it matters to him that he's still a virgin. Suddenly, this rock star that he despised the mention of, now matters to him. Dean Winchester is a rock star who's on top of the world when it comes to music. Yet there's more that he wants. He misses Lisa and Ben, he craves connection, craves being himself. Any hope for that amidst his alcoholic life all changes when Zachariah, the head exec of Heaven's Records, pairs with a new exec, Michael Edlund -- the Archangel of Music. Under Michael's dominance, he's no longer in control of his own life. There are rules. No more sex with fans. No more alcohol. And in Dean's view, no more god damn free will. Yet he stumbled into Castiel. READ ON AO3 | READ ON FF.NET CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5 | CHAPTER 6 | CHAPTER 7 | CHAPTER 8

“Meg, oh my god, I’m so sorry I didn’t call you earlier,” Cas said. “Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” she asked, incredulous. “Whose phone is this? Are you okay?”

“There was a little accident,” he explained, walking farther away from the bathroom, towards the kitchenette. He glanced back at the bathroom, the one with a very naked Dean Winchester in it.

God, what was even happening?”

“My car had to get towed. I found someone to stay with.”

“Why didn’t you just come back here?”

“He… He needed some help.”

“Cas, you can’t help everybody who falls into your lap. You’re a mental health worker, not a miracle worker. Besides, you need to save some of that empathy and energy for yourself, your own self care. You know how things get when we don’t take care of ourselves.”

Cas frowned, lying, “I’m… taking care of myself. He just needs help. Uh, I’m calling from his phone. Everything will be okay. I’ll explain tomorrow.”

“Are you gonna get yourself killed?”

“What?”

“Well, how serious is his issue?”

“Hmm… Define serious.”

“Cas!”

“He’s drunk. Think he’s an…” Cas realized Dean still might be able to hear him, so he lowered his voice before going on, “alcoholic.”

“You go out for a cup of tea and find yourself an alcoholic. Congrats. Think you’re gonna get paid overtime?”

“Meg!”

“You ditched me.”

“I was just getting tea,” he argued.

“And now you’re with some guy.”

“He’s… cute,” Cas reasoned.

“Don’t you dare.”

“I’d never. He’s drunk.”

Castiel was about to add that he didn’t know much about what to do when it came to sex anyway, but Meg had no idea he was a virgin. He knew he shouldn’t be embarrassed about it, knew it was just a label used to control people, usually women. He had to be at least okay with his body and who he was.

For the most part he was alright with all of that. But Dean’s reaction to finding out he was a virgin had made him feel… strange.

Maybe Castiel didn’t want to be a virgin anymore.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“When?”

“I don’t know.”

“Assbutt.”

“That’s my word,” he argued.

“Alright, Clarence. I’m pissed at you, but goodnight. Be safe.”

“You too.”

They hung up, and Cas went back into the bathroom to give Dean his phone. There was a timer running on it. Had about sixteen minutes left.

His bath. Right, it was for his bath.

“So why did you punch a wall?” Castiel asked as he settled down by the counter again.

“Got angry,” Dean simply answered.

“About?”

Dean waved his hand. “Look, we’ll… Tomorrow. We can talk tomorrow. For now, just… make yourself useful or get out.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow as he looked down at him. “Useful?”

Dean sighed, cheeks red, and he admitted, “I’m not used to bringing a fan back to my hotel and not gettin’ any.”

“I’m not a fan,” Castiel pointed out.

“Right, right. ‘Cause you have a stick up your ass.”

Castiel didn’t feel any hurt from Dean’s words.

“You’re tired, drunk, probably in pain. You don’t mean to be acting like this.”

“How do you know what I mean?”

“You could say I’ve… studied humanity. And there’s good there. So there’s good in you, even if you’re upset now, or trying to throw me off, or hoping you’ll get to use me.”

Dean grumbled, “I don’t use people.”

“Then you didn’t mean what you said to me. Something clearly set you off before we even met. You just have to take care of yourself physically first.”

Castiel left the bathroom to go get something, Dean yelling, “Wait, where are you going?”

After searching through the fridge, he found what he needed, popped the cap, and then went into the bathroom to give it to Dean.

“Here. Drink. It’ll get the alcohol out of your system faster, and you’re probably dehydrated.”

“Water’s boring.”

Castiel stared at him hard, leaning over as he held out the bottle. As he did so he did his best to not glance at Dean’s thighs, or any part of him that was under the water really. What lay there was too tempting. And too confusing. Meg had been right. Castiel needed self care, and just as much as Dean did. He was important too, despite what this rockstar might think. Though, now that he was with him, a lot of the arrogance he’d seen on stage had mellowed. Something in Dean just seemed… hurt, angry. It showed in his apple green eyes, with the slight pout on his plump, cupid’s bow lips. And maybe after Castiel left tears would trail down those sharp cheekbones and cut through the makeup he could see now that he was up close. Were those freckles lightly dotting his skin beneath it? No. Didn’t matter. He forced the water closer, realizing Dean wasn’t taking it. That’s what he was here for, not… admiring the view.

“Fine.”

Dean took it, and Castiel was content when he unscrewed the cap and started drinking it. Though, that soon turned into chugging.

“Take it slow.”

Dean grumbled.

“Need help with your hand?”

“I can handle it.”

“Well, there’s only one bed, so I guess I’ll sleep on the couch. Uh… goodnight, Dean.”

Dean raised his swollen right hand in recognition, sipping at the water.

“Night.”

Castiel grabbed some blankets he found from the closet, and pulled them over himself, sinking into the couch. This really wasn’t a bad place to sleep. Somehow this piece of furniture meant for simply sitting around and reading, maybe watching TV, was more comfortable than his bed at home. Even before knowing that, the idea of sleeping on the couch hadn’t daunted him. Castiel had spent many a night shift in a chair that was a few years past its prime. Finding comfort on a couch was easy compared to that.

Before he could process where he was, what he was wearing, who he was with, exhaustion caught up to him and he drifted off.

[timelock97]

Time Never Stops

Chapter Seven: Just a Bug

Word Count: 2075

Prologue   Ch 1   Ch 2   Ch 3   Ch 4   Ch 5   Ch 6

Warning: Mentions of getting sick, slight angst (not really)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alrighty," I rub my hands together as I sit down in front of my computer, "Are we recording Golf with Friends first or going over what we are doing for the PAX panel?"

"Record first," Arya states as Marz plops down beside her with two mugs in hand, "We then can practice our little spiel after the fact."

"Sounds like a plan. We ready for intros?" Kyle asks, stretching his arms over his head.

"Yeah, lets get-" my stomach lurches, causing me to pause and place a hand over my stomach.

"You okay there, TL?" Marz asks.

I shake my head before quickly standing from my seat, hand over my mouth, and sprint for the bathroom, the voices for my friends yelling from Skype behind me. I collapse to my knees and vomit into the toilet, groaning after finally emptying my stomach of what I had eaten for breakfast. I gasp for air, leaning an arm on the seat while laying my head on top to catch my breath and let the lightheadedness pass before flushing the toilet. I stand slowly and move to the sink to rinse out my mouth, then brush my teeth. I take a chance to look at my tear stained cheeks and pale face. I let out an annoyed breath before slowly making my way back down the hallway to the kitchen. I pop the fridge open to grab a bottle of ginger ale from the door shelf and grabbing a pack of saltine crackers from off the counter before walking back to the recording room.

"What the hell was that about?" Marz yells as I plop down in my chair, setting the bottle off screen while I reset my mics, chewing on the crackers.

"I haven't been feeling well the past few days, I'm fine, just a bug." I state quickly, running my hands through my hair. "Am I good to start the intro?"

"Yeah," Jac says with a raised eyebrow, Kyle cracks his knuckles next to him, "start us out, TL, before you get sick again."

I flip him off before clapping my hands together, "What's up guys, you're on with TimeLock,-"

"JacKylegameplays," the boys shout

"Welcome," Arya murmurs directly into the mic

"to Oblivion," Marz rasps

"And you're on," I state

"With GameSquad."

~

"Thanks so much for watching," Arya calls smiling at the camera after a two hour recording session.

"We will see you all, in the next one!" Jac and Kyle call out.

"Don't forget to check out our personal channels if you miss us." Marz states, pouting out her lower lip.

"And make sure to give that like button a little bit of love." I state, smiling at the camera.

"Until next time, this is GameSquad, signing off." We state together before stopping our recordings and giving everyone a thumbs up to show that we are all stopped.

"Okay," Arya groans while Marz moves from her seat to grab her phone from off the charger, "who is editing this bad boy?"

"It's the boys turn to edit the video. I don't know who is doing it, but the we have edited the last 3 weeks." Marz states before sitting back down in her chair.

"I have to pee, I'm not doing the editing, boys." I state, bouncing in my seat.

"Send over your recordings and I'll edit them," Kyle says, running a hand through his freshly dyed midnight blue hair while Jac pushes his chair away from the desk and rolls off screen. The girls and I upload our recordings and get them ready to send while we chit chat back and forth.

"I think this is the first time we have actually recorded since you've been back, TL." Jac yells off screen when I return from the bathroom.

"Yeah, I mean we pre-recorded videos for about a month so we wouldn't have to worry about it while I was gone then when Marz and Arya went on that trip with their family." I yawn, uncapping my pop to take a swig.

"And you haven't told us about your trip with Spiderling, TL." Kyle says, wiggling his eyebrows at me, making me laugh.

It had been five weeks since Tom and I departed from Oregon and went our separate ways since he had to get ready to go to premieres and interviews for late June.

"Sorry I couldn't travel back home with you, love." Tom murmured against my lips while we stood at his gate.

"Not like you could have changed it, babe." I whisper.

Tom cards his hand through my hair before cupping my face. "I love you, (Y/N), so much."

"I love you too, Tom, and just think. In a month and a half I'll be out in L.A. to join you for your premiere for the newest Avengers movie."

"I get to show you off as my girlfriend, and I cannot wait," he whispers, leaning his forehead against mine before pressing his lips into mine again, smiling into the kiss.

I pull away, looking into his brown eyes that in his swim with nothing but love. "You're going to miss your flight if you aren't off." I whisper, only to be cut off again by his lips.

He takes his time, before moving from my lips to my cheeks, my jaw, then my forehead before sighing. "I love you, darling. Call when you get home?" He states, backing up until all he is holding is my hands.

"Only if you call when you do." I whisper, lifting his hand to my lips, "I love you too. Now," I squeeze his hands before spinning him toward his gate, "Go before you miss your flight."

He laughs before spinning back around and kissing my lips. "See you in seven weeks."

"Seven weeks." I repeat before he finally walks to the door, but not before he gives me another wave, and walking inside.

"Everything was super fun, we visited so many places: the Japanese gardens, Mt. Tabor, art museums, the zoo, and more. And as you all know we figured out that we admitted that we loved each other," I muse.

"The ship finally sailed!" Marz yells, making us all laugh.

"Well, we are very glad that you are happy, TL, and that you had a great time." Kyle says, smiling at me.

"I do have a question, though." Arya says, looking intently at me. "How long have you been sick, (Y/N/N)?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh, a few days." I state, leaning into my headrest, "Why?"

"Just curious, it seems odd that you are a bit sick five weeks after your trip with Tom." Arya states, leaning into Marz's side.

"And what exactly are you getting at?" I accuse, white, hot anger running through me.

"I think Ari is assuming that you and Tom did a little more than just kissing on your trip." Kyle wiggles his eyebrows, making Jac laugh.

"I'm not pregnant," I state, shaking my head, the group gasping as I roll my eyes. "It's just a bug, probably got it from flying home."

"I know, I mean, it is you. You don't have to get pissed about it" Marz laughs. "Damn, dormant virus," she giggles. I give here an apologetic look before shaking my head and laughing along with her.

Once the subject jumps away from my illness I pull my phone out of my desk drawer while we get ready to perform our little script for PAX. The lock screen revealing a picture of Tom after one of our days 'spent in bed.' I open my contacts and pull up my recent messages, clicking into Izzy's.

-

(Y/N/N)

Are you at the store?

At work?

Izzy

I am

Need something?

(Y/N/N)

I need you to pick something up for me

And you CANNOT freak out

Izzy

Okaaaaaaay

Whatcha need?

(Y/N/N)

Um...

Pregnancy test...?

Izzy

You have explaining to do

But will grab it for you.

I'll check it out so no one asks either.

(Y/N/N)

You're the best

And I'll explain when you get here

Chinese?

Izzy

Yum 😍

See you at 6

-

"TL?" My head shoots up from where I am looking down at my phone to the rest of GameSquad. "You alright?" Kyle asks.

"Yeah. Uh, want me to get started?" I ask, watching as everyone nods. "Alright everybody," I clap my hands together, leaning toward the screen, "storytime."

~

I wave goodbye to the rest of GameSquad before turning off the computer for the night. I run my hands through my hair before I stand and walk out into the hallway and into the kitchen. I glance at the clock, 5:15 PM.

"Time to call for food." I mutter as I grab my phone out of Tom's blue hoodie and dial my favorite Chinese place. Once the order is placed I spend the next twenty minutes moving around the apartment until I find myself back into the kitchen. I play with my lip as I lean against the counter, grabbing a water bottle in my hand and tossing it in the air, flipping it. I jump when there is a knock on the door and I quickly move to answer it. I yank it open and cause the man behind it to jump. "I'm sorry, a bit on edge, how much do I owe you?" I ask, pulling my wallet out of the front pocket.

"Fifteen sixty." The man states, handing me the bag for my food.

I pass him $22 and mutter a quick, "Keep the change." I shut the door and deposit the bag onto the kitchen counter, breathing in the savory smells of the contents. The sound of knocking, the tap, double tap, tap on the door signals Izzy's arrival pulls me from my thoughts.

"Hey there, (Y/N/N), I have the, uh, tests." Izzy calls from down the hall.

"I'm in the kitchen, Iz. Food just got here." I call back. Izzy walks into the kitchen with bag in hand.

"Uh, do you want to do this first or eat?" Izzy asks, setting the bag on the counter.

"Food, that way I can tell you about, uh, why I needed these." I grab the bag and motion for her to follow me into the living room.

"You and Tom what?!" Izzy yells, making me blush and let out a small laugh, "(Y/N/N)-"

"Okay, it wasn't planned, it just kinda happened. And then it happened, uh a few more times-" I shake my head, placing a hand over my forehead.

"I do not want to hear about this." Izzy laughs, then she looks at me seriously, "but you think that there's a possibility that you are pregnant?"

"I'm on birth control," I state, setting the empty to-go container on the coffee table, "but it is always possible that it didn't work." I whisper, looking at a few picture frames that sit on a bookshelf to my left. Showing pictures from my high school graduation, Izzy's first book signing, my first PAX, and the first premiere I attended with Tom.

"Well, I'm not leaving until you take the test. And, you know me," Izzy grabs my hand and smiles at me, "I am here for the long run."

"Thanks, Iz." I lean forward and pulling her into a hug. After a few minutes I pull away, letting out an annoyed groan. "Well, now I am gonna go in the bathroom and, pee on a stick." Izzy laughs as I stand from the couch and walk to the bathroom with the box in hand.

~

I pace the small length of the bathroom while Izzy sits on the bathtub, waiting for the timer on my phone to go off.

"Everything is going to be okay, (Y/N/N)," Izzy states, holding out her hand.

I take it and squeeze, "I just," I run a hand over my face, "I just don't know how I should feel about-" the timer on my phone going off on the counter cuts me off. I look at her in a panic, and begin to shake my head, "I can't look at it, I can't, Izzy."

"We will look at it together, and whatever happens, everything will be okay." Izzy states, holding my hand. The two of us walk over and take the test upside down in our hands. She looks at me, "Ready?"

"As I will ever be." I whisper. We take one more deep breath before flipping the test over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! Reblog and comment!

@revenantwriting​ | @bellagrayson-wayne​ | @jackiehollanderr

Chapter Eight

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Perfectly Imperfect: Chapter 4

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Wren Arnold (OFC)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: n/a

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Perfectly Imperfect Masterlist | Chris & Wren Masterlist

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

August 3-4, 2020

The first week of August started with Wren's interview at the school in Albany, New York. Since the school was roughly three hours away from the Boston suburb where she lived and the interview was at ten a.m. that Monday morning, she had left the night before and had stayed in a hotel. Which meant that when she got to her interview, she was relaxed and not stressed out from trying to get there on time.

In Wren's opinion, the interview had gone great. One of the interviewers had been Dr. Abigail Saul, the school's principal, who Wren had met a couple years back when she had attended a teacher workshop at the school. Dr. Saul had given her a tour of the school campus and had even shown Wren the classroom that could potentially be hers. The principal had even mentioned that she knew of someone wanting to rent out a fully furnished guest cottage, should Wren get the position and want to move to Albany.

It was early afternoon, by the time, Wren left Albany and her trip home was slower than it should have been thanks to heavy summer traffic. Glancing at the clock on her dashboard, she realized that she wasn't going to be home in time to make Chris and Addy a proper dinner like she had told Chris she would.

After receiving the phone call on Saturday, Wren had told Chris that she needed Monday off, but she hadn't told him she had an interview, only that she had an appointment out of town. She wasn't sure why she hadn't told him the truth, but something had stopped her. Nevertheless, she and Chris had managed to work out a plan that would cover the day: since he had a late call that morning, he had taken Addy to daycare and had arranged for her friend Lola's mom to take Addy home with them for a play date.

Wanting to keep her end of the deal, Wren waited until she was thirty minutes out before she ordered Chinese food from her and Chris's favorite place. By the time she got there, it was ready and she managed to get to Chris's place about ten minutes before he and Addy got home at 6:30.

"WREN!" Addy exclaimed the moment she came into the house and saw her.

"Addy!" Wren mimicked and laughed when the little girl wrapped her arms around her legs. With ease, Wren hoisted the little girl up and set her on the island counter. "How was your day? Did you have fun with Lola?"

"Uh huh," the little girl nodded, her blonde pigtails bouncing. "We played with playdoh! And Barbies! And Legos! And her puppy!" Her smile then turned into a frown and she stuck out her lower lip. "I want a puppy, Wren, but daddy says we can't get one."

"Adelaide," Chris warned. "We already discussed this in the car, we can't get a dog right now. Maybe in a couple years."

Addy crossed her arms and furrowed her brow as she glared at him. Then, just as suddenly as her pout had begun, it disappeared. "Wren! You can get a puppy!" she exclaimed.

"I don't have time for a puppy," Wren laughed as she smoothed her hand over Addy's blonde hair. "But you know what I do have time for?"

"What?" Addy asked, unaware that her attention was purposefully being diverted.

"Chinese food," Wren told her. "And fortune cookies."

"I love that stuff!" Addy exclaimed. "I want to eat all of it!"

Wren laughed and let the little girl down off the counter. "Go wash your hands, squirt," she told Addy.

Addy ran out of the room and they soon heard her turn on the sink in the bathroom before she started singing happy birthday or at least the parts of it that she could remember.

Wren chuckled as she grabbed plates from the cupboard and began to put food on Addy's favorite Frozen character plate. She heard Chris moving around the kitchen behind her and heard him pour milk into a sippy cup for Addy before he opened a bottle of beer for himself and one for Wren.

By the time Addy returned to the kitchen, her plate was on the table and Chris hoisted her into her booster seat. He and Wren then took turns putting food on their own plates before they joined the toddler at the table. She kept them thoroughly entertained as she told them all about her day in between bites of food and sips of milk. She didn't seem to notice that her dad and Wren were both quieter than normal.

Wren knew why she wasn't talking, but she wasn't sure why Chris wasn't. Having known him for as long as she had, she could tell he was irritated by something, there was just something about his positioning and the way he'd closed the cabinet doors harder than he needed to earlier.

Once they finished eating, Wren cleaned up the kitchen while Chris gave Addy a bath. Wren's original plan had been to leave after cleaning, but Addy asked her to read her a story and she couldn't say no, especially after missing the girl all day.

It took nearly an hour to get the little girl down for the night, thanks to all the excitement in her day, but she finally nodded off when Chris was halfway through the book she requested that he read to her. She didn't even flinch when Chris climbed off the bed or when he and Wren tiptoed out of the room, closing the door.

With Addy was asleep, Wren headed downstairs intent on heading home and putting herself to bed, but Chris waylaid her by asking about her appointment. "It went fine," she replied. "Great actually."

"Good," he nodded, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans.

"How was your day?" she asked him, unable to stop herself. Chris had been her best friend for so long that somethings were just second nature, liking trying to help him when she could tell something was bugging him even if it cost her in the end. She was, as Heidi liked to describe, a glutton for punishment.

"My day was good," he responded. He nodded his head as if trying to convince them both that he was speaking the truth.

"Chris, whatever it is you need to say, just say it," Wren snapped then sighed. "Sorry, that was rude of me. I'm just exhausted and I want to go home so I can go to sleep."

Her outburst had clearly surprised him and it took him a minute before he nodded again. "Addy can't go to Lola's house anymore," he finally said.

"What? Why?" Wren asked, alarmed. "She and Addy love playing together."

"I don't like her mom," Chris stated, shaking his head. "The woman won't stop trying to fix me up! It doesn't matter how many times I tell her I'm not interested and that I'm never going to remarry -"

Wren's heart dropped to her stomach at Chris's words. He continued to talk, but she didn't hear anything he said after 'I'm never going to remarry'. "Why not?" she demanded, her voice louder than she intended it to be.

"Why not, what?" Chris asked, obviously confused.

"Why aren't you going to remarry?" she asked, her voice softer as her blue eyes met his blue eyes.

"You're joking, right?" Chris stared at her in disbelief. "Wren, I did everything right! I met a woman, I fell in love with her, married her, had a kid with her and it all blew up in my fucking face!" He shook his head. "I am never going through that again."

"But what if you meet so-" Wren started, but Chris cut her off, "Wren, I'm not doing that again. I won't put myself in that position to get hurt like that a second time."

Wren bit down on her lower lip to keep back the tears that threatened to fall. "I need to go," she stated. She grabbed her purse and quickly fled the house, ignoring Chris as he called after her. She fought back her tears on the short drive to her apartment and waited until she was in the privacy of her own room before she let them fall.

When Wren woke up the next morning, she found Heidi asleep next to her. She had been so caught up in her heartbreak that she couldn't remember her roommate coming into the room much less getting home.

Thankful that Chris had another late call, Wren took a long shower and had another good cry as the hot water helped work out the sore muscles in her neck. Chris's words last night had been like a knife to her heart. She had known that he was bitter over his divorce, but he had always been a romantic and ready for the next love of his life after he'd broken up with someone. Clearly, that wasn't the case anymore.

A little over an hour later, Wren was sitting on the couch with Heidi watching some crime show when her phone rang. Reaching over, Wren grabbed it off the coffee table and nearly dropped it when she saw it was Dr. Saul.

"Answer it!" Heidi exclaimed.

Wren cleared her throat and then answered the call, "Hello?"

"Lauren?" Dr. Saul asked.

"This is she," Wren replied.

"This is, Dr. Saul," the woman said. "I'm calling to officially offer you the job."

Wren's heart skipped a beat while Heidi, who had obviously overheard the offer, was shaking with happiness. Wren closed her eyes and made the most important decision of her life in a split second: "I accept."

Chapter 5

Want to find me off tumblr? I'm @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you'd like to be added!

[emetoandotherthings]

Damian’s Coeliac Saga ~Pt 6

A/N: Sorry this has taken me a bit of time, I promised @its-a-goddamn-heartbreak​ that I’d include a scene with Emilia, and perhaps Jude is being a little more grown up and showing the budding sweetheart that we know, rather than the twelve year old snotbag he’s been so far! So anyway... I hope you enjoy! 😁

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 |

Fatigue – with excessive tiredness, lack of concentration, dips in mood. Damian was sitting at his desk and had torn a sheet of paper out from his A4 refill pad and set it next to the homework he was trying to complete, but was unable to focus as his mind kept wandering back to the worries that had been plaguing him. He’d decided that if he wrote down how he’d been feeling then it might be out of his mind for long enough to finish his homework, then he could look it up online later. Upset stomach – including bloating, cramps, nausea, vomiting, and weight loss (?). He was writing down everything in a bullet point list; he could practically see the worried look that had been plastered on Cain’s face on Friday and Saturday, then the residual concern since they’d been back at school. He was only glad that Cain had been in different classes from him when the pain had flared up while he was in Chemistry. He’d tried to hold it in as long as he could, gritting his teeth and pressing a hand to his bloated abdomen, until his teacher Dr. Stephen put his hand onto Damian’s shoulder and asked if he was feeling okay. As soon as Damian shook his head, he’d been told to pack up his books and go home. He’d felt awful, both physically and mentally; he was beginning to think that something might actually be really wrong…    Mouth ulcers. Cold extremities. He couldn’t think of anything else that could be at all relevant, so he pushed that scrap of paper to the side, and went back to copying a neater version of a plot timeline for his English personal study. The pain in his abdomen as he clutched a hot water bottle onto it, and sipped at a glass of water he’d refilled every time he drank it. As he slid his ruler back into his stationery drawer and pinned the plan for the essay he was yet to write up onto his noticeboard above his desk, his eyes fell again on the scrap of paper that he’d written his “symptoms” down on to.  He was well aware that googling his symptoms was not advisable, especially as a budding medic, but at this moment it was the only way that he could get any kind of reassurance without causing any more worry to anyone else. Flicking his laptop back to life, he soon found himself on a well known symptom checking website, feeding in everything that he’d written down and watching as the ‘conditions associated with selected symptoms’ refined themselves. When he’d fed in the nine symptoms he could find on the system there was a list of twenty possibilities; he picked up his pen again and began to go through them one by one, dismissing those that he knew were ridiculous. Gastroenteritis couldn’t go on for three weeks and surely wouldn’t be so intermittent; the same went for food poisoning. Despite his mum’s concern, Damian was pretty sure he wasn’t having panic attacks – if anything he was more stressed out after the periods of cramp and nausea than he was before; and he crossed out depression with that as well. He was fairly sure he wasn’t suffering from a drug allergy unless someone was poisoning him, and the plausibility of iron poisoning almost ludicrous. So he was left with a list that he wrote down so he could research each one individually. Irritable Bowel Syndrome; Giardiasis; Intestinal ischaemia / obstruction; Ulcerative Colitis; Anaemia; Hyperthyriodism; Intestinal ileus; Chronic Kidney disease; cystic fibrosis; inflammatory bowel disease; Thalassemia. Damian’s heart was pounding as he stared down at the list. He knew most of the words in the list and was perturbed to realise that a lot of them were either serious or chronic. The one that leapt out at him straight away was ‘anaemia’ – he knew his mum had been on iron tablets at some point… Could that be it? Perhaps there was some kind of genetic trait to it? Cautiously Damian circled that option on the list and began to research the other, more alarming, possibilities on the list.

“Dami – “ Jude trailed off as he entered the doorway of his brother’s bedroom. He couldn’t honestly say that he was surprised to find Damian with his head down on his arms at his desk, asleep. Jude shook his head, chuckling slightly as he padded along behind his brother, intending to give him a fright and wake him up. He’d raised his hands in preparation, but as he reached the back of Damian’s chair he saw the list poking out from under his brother’s arm and stopped dead, his eyes scanning down a plethora of symptoms and illness. Jude’s heart seemed to freeze inside his chest as he stared at his brother – he was so pale, and the cheek that Jude could see was hollow from the cheekbone down. His arms had dropped back to his side as the will to frighten Damian had vanished; clearly Damian was worried, worried enough to be researching it. Jude felt bad – he’d been teasing and berating his brother for being a wuss, he’d actually been feeling ill… Gently he put his hands onto Damian’s shoulders and gave them a light squeeze. “Damian… It’s time for dinner.” “Hmmmm?” Damian raised his head from his arms, blinking blearily and Jude took a hasty step back so Damian couldn’t see that he’d been able to see the list on the desk. “It’s dinner time,” Jude repeated as Damian rubbed his hand across his face. “Oh okay,” he stretched his arms above his head, “I’ll be down in a moment.” Jude left Damian’s room without saying anything else, but as he descended the stairs he was still thinking about the list of symptoms that Damian had written.

Damian shuffled his steak pie around his plate, mashing down his potatoes further so it looked like he had eaten something; his stomach was still feeling tender after the cramps of this afternoon. This wasn’t fooling his mum though, as after a couple of minutes she pointed towards his plate. “Mushing it down like that isn’t going to convince me you’ve eaten any,” she spoke lowly, although her eyebrow was raised at him. Damian sighed and placed his fork down next to his plate. “I’m not really hungry…” He mumbled, not meeting his mum’s eyes. “My stomach is still kinda upset…” “Right, well I’d like you to eat something,” his mum insisted, “so if this is too rich, then you’ll have to tell me what you feel up to having.” “I’ll try and have some,” Damian conceded, picking his fork back up again and scooped up some potato.  “What if,” Emilia had piped up from her place across from Damian at the table; her grey eyes were extra wide in her pale face. “You ate a wolf spider when you were sleeping, and it’s slid down to your tummy and then had babies, and they’re growing and squiggling and when they’re full grown they’ll all burst out of your skin and scuttle away!” Damian stared agog at his younger sister, who had just taken another bite of her dinner and didn’t seem at all aware at the absurdity of what she’d just said. “Emilia!” their mum also looked a little shocked. “What?” She asked. “Or maybe you’ve got a giant parasite that you got from drinking water on camp, and it’s slowly eating away at your insides bit by bit and-” “Emilia, eat your dinner,” their mum reprimanded firmly. “But it could-” she began to protest. “Now!” 

Damian was staring down at his plate again, aware that his stomach was squirming around inside him and all he could now envisage was some sort of bug living in his abdomen. The appeal of the steak pie on his plate was even less now and his throat felt tight. “Can I leave the table?” Damian asked, placing both of his hands on the table top and closing his eyes. “Please?” He heard his mum sigh from beside him. “Okay,” she permitted reluctantly. Damian stood in the kitchen, still able to hear his mum’s voice as she seemed to be reprimanding Emilia; it struck Damian as slightly odd at how quiet Jude had been during his sister’s pronouncement. Normally he would have chipped in with some kind of sarcastic comment, but he hadn’t said anything. He waited, leaning against one of the counters, and tried to push out the strange sensation of wrestling that was going on inside him. Eventually his mum came through, carrying a stack of plates with her and she laid down next to the sink, opening the dishwasher door. 

“Mum?” Damian began, there wasn’t any better time than now. “Yes Damian?” She answered, scraping the residual food from the plates into the bin. “I want to go to the doctors,” he said quickly, and his mum paused for a second then continued to load the plates into the rack. 

“What for?” She asked, she sounded very calm, but Damian could see her eyes studying him as she straightened up. “Well, you know how I’ve been tired and getting stomach aches and everything…” He muttered, swivelling his foot onto the ground and watching it so as he didn’t need to look into her face. “I wondered whether I might be anaemic and that might be what’s causing how I feel…” “It could be,” his mum admitted, then took a few steps towards him. “Let me see…” Her cold hands took hold of his face and pulled slightly at the skin of his cheeks so she could see the insides of his eyelids. “You are a bit pale.” Then unexpectedly she pulled Damian into a tight hug. “Mum?” Damian questioned, surprised at how tightly she held onto him. “I’ll call and make you an appointment in the morning,” she agreed, releasing him from her embrace. “But now, I want you to have something to eat.” Damian let out a little groan, but his mum ignored him. “How about a banana on toast?” “Fine,” Damian replied, understanding that this was a battle not worth fighting. It had only been half an hour after eating his toast and banana that Damian’s stomach began to burble and ache again. Under the pretence of going to start his English essay, he excused himself from the living room and went up to his bedroom. But when he was there he didn’t sit down at his desk, instead he sank down onto his bed, lying on his back and cradling his belly with both of his hands. He groaned aloud, unable to hold in his discomfort; he slowly pulled up the front of his t-shirt to reveal his bloated stomach, which continued to gurgle. He closed his eyes, resting his head back onto his pillow, and using one hand to rub across the warm flesh of his upset belly. “Damian, I – oh…” Jude’s voice came abruptly from the doorway, then trailed off. Damian’s eyes snapped open and he tugged his t-shirt back down over his exposed flesh. “What?” He snapped at his younger brother, who was still staring at the place where Damian’s exposed flesh had been. “That looks really painful,” Jude murmured and he sounded quiet and concerned. “Yeah… well…” Damian pushed himself up on his elbows on the bed. “I came to see if you wanted a coffee but…” Jude started then tailed off again, seemingly considering something. “Do you want a belly rub?” “What?” Damian asked, sure that he must have misheard. “I mean,” Jude was staring pretty intensely at Damian’s laminate flooring. “I know that helps me when my belly hurts, so…” “Yeah,” Damian found himself agreeing, and Jude looked surprised at Damian’s acceptance. “Move over a little bit then,” Jude said, and he perched on the edge of the bed as Damian shuffled over, letting out a low groan as he did so. After a few moments Damian felt his brother’s warm hand slip onto his painful and bloated flesh, then began to rub very small circles. It was nice, someone else’s hand administering gentle ministrations, and he laid back his head again. It wasn’t long until Jude could hear Damian’s breathing evening out as he fell asleep, then drew his hand away while staring at his brother. He couldn’t stop the guilt rising up in him for treating his brother so awfully, and the worry that something was really wrong…