#like I am talking about THIS man you’re so fucking far off you’re on jupiter

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

one final thought on this whole argument - this asshole has literally up and blocked me before I even got the chance to upon seeing if he’d reply, and after getting by it using a secondary device to check out of curiosity, I have found him absolutely froathing at the mouth having a full adult tantrum.

the walls of boldened text and full capitol letters like a screaming school child alone is quite something.

[hopelesshawks]

Official Accounts Part 36- Fight Club Shit

Summary: (y/n) was perfectly happy remaining anonymous, even if her best friends were all pro heroes and she worked under THE Hawks. Handling the technical aspects of hero work from the background suited her just fine, thank you very much. That goes out the window when suddenly her twitter blows up thanks Denki and the famed no. 2 hero is asking her to run his own official twitter as a result

If you don’t want to see Official Accounts content blacklist #hopelessoa

Masterlist

“Wait, wait, wait what did you think they were planning?” Mina laughs. “I’m not gonna keep rehashing the story if everyone’s gonna keep laughing at me,” you protest. “I believe the words she used were ‘fight club shit’,” Denki cackles beside you. “Well excuse me for being incredibly suspicious of anything Hawks and Bakugo are trying to plan together that they think I can’t know about. It’s not like one of them has anger issues and both of them are competitive or anything,” you shoot back. “Hey dumbass! Who the fuck are you saying has anger issues?” Bakugo yells from your living room. “Technically you’re the one who identified yourself with anger issues, I didn’t name names!” you shout back. “Keep talking shit, see what happens.” “You wanna fight Kacchan? Let’s rumble!”

Before you can make good on your threat a pair of familiar arms are wrapping around your waist from behind. “I sat through that whole lecture on how I better not be ‘on that fight club shit’ with Bakugo not even an hour ago and now here you are picking fights,” Hawks teases. “Does it really count as picking a fight when it’s completely justified?” you fire back as you turn to face your boyfriend. “Yes, yes it does,” he laughs. “Whatever, he totally would have it coming.” “And then you’d both feel guilty about it for weeks.” “Hey! You’re not supposed to be able to read us like that yet!” you protest. “(Y/n) you are an open book written for very dumb children. It’s not that hard to read you,” Shinso cuts in. “Wooow, isn’t this supposed to be my party? Why am I being bullied right now?” “You make it so easy sometimes,” Kiri admits as he walks into the kitchen to grab more beers for the pong table he and Bakugo had set up. “Et tu brute?” you gasp dramatically. “You know we say it with love,” he laughs. “Hawks, Denki, you guys coming?” he adds as he walks out the room. Both men call out a yes, leading Shinso to grab his drink quickly before Denki drags him out of the kitchen. “You and Denki pong partners?” you ask as your boyfriend presses a quick kiss to your cheek before releasing you to follow the others out to the pong table. “Yep, you gonna root for us?” Hawks asks cheekily as he backs out of the kitchen. “Hmm, I don’t know. Kiri and Kacchan are pretty good. I’ll have to think it over and get back to you later,” you tease. Hawks shakes his head fondly but still throws you a smile and a wink before finally joining the others, leaving just you and Mina in the kitchen.

“I feel so aggressively single right now wow,” Mina jokes. “Your person is out there somewhere,” you assure her. “See that? That’s the kinda cheesy shit only people in relationships say,” she points out. “Well it’s true!” you laugh. “You guys are really good for each other, huh?” “I think so.” “I’m really, really happy for you. You deserve it.” “Thanks Mina. We should do a girl’s night soon. It’s been a long time since we’ve hung out just the two of us.” “You sure Hawks will let me steal you away for an entire night?” “I’d like to see him try to stop us.” That makes Mina laugh. “Fair enough. Speaking of, you may need to go celeb shot for your mans. Looks like he and Denki are getting crushed,” she points out. You turn around to look out towards the game and laugh when you see she’s right. “Let me go save my boyfriend and best friend from humiliating defeat then,” you laugh before quickly finishing off what’s left of your drink and walking out to join them.

Alas even your help can’t save Denki and Hawks and eventually they wind up defeated. Almost immediately Hawks is demanding a rematch and you can’t help but laugh as he and Bakugo start bickering. It’s a dynamic you were still adjusting to in all honesty. When you had considered the ways Hawks would fit into your friend group way back when you’d invited him to stay with you, you hadn’t anticipated he and Bakugo becoming friends. It was always a pleasant surprise when you’d discover the two of them were running a patrol together or if you’d catch one texting the other. They still bickered and if you asked either of them they’d probably deny their budding bromance but it still made you happy all the same.

Bakugo wasn’t the only one who had gotten close with Hawks. He and Denki had become close as well. You think it’s because Denki has never been opposed to filling silences. On days when Keigo is annoyed or stressed, when the pressures of being number two are particularly intense, he knows he can meet up with Denki and not have to say a word. He can just sit and listen as Denki rambles on and on about whatever his latest obsession is. On days he does feel like contributing, he’s down to debate even the weirdest hypotheticals Denki can come up with. You already have the sneaking suspicion that even if things end between you and Hawks, the two of them will stay close.

You’re pulled out of your musings when Hawks walks up and grabs your hand. “What’s got you thinking so hard little dove?” he asks. “Nothing really, I’m just happy,” you reply with a soft smile. He practically melts at the sight. “C’mon with me to the balcony, I wanna give you something,” he says as he gently tugs you in that direction. You follow behind as your curiosity blooms, but no matter how much you ask him what it is he ignores you until the two of you are alone on the balcony in the night air.

You wait for him to say something, knowing by now that it’s always best to just give him time to gather his thoughts. His eyes stay trained on the sky even as he finally begins speaking. “I know we haven’t gotten to see each other as much because so much of my work has been out of the office lately,” he finally admits. “It’s ok, I know how it is,” you shrug. “Yea but it’s a little weird after seeing each other almost all day every day while I was taking time off,” he replies. “Yea we got a little spoiled,” you laugh. “I miss having tea with you in the evening.” “Ugh yes. I miss you making breakfast for me in the morning, early bird.” “I miss you being there for me if I have a nightmare. I miss you playing music while you get dressed or do chores around the apartment. I miss you being the first person I see in the morning and the last I see at night,” he confesses into the quiet night. “Kei? What’re you saying?” you ask, sensing the subtle shift in the atmosphere that tells you he’s more serious than you’d initially thought. He finally turns to face you as he pulls a key out of his pocket and holds it out to you. “Will you move in with me?” he asks in a breath, the words seeming so delicate somehow, as if afraid they’ll fracture the fragile moment he’s created on this balcony with you.

Your heart stops and then immediately begins to race. It may seem like such a simple thing from the outside, a small step forward in your rapidly progressing relationship. Something that may seem like an obvious next step considering this whole thing started in part as a result of him temporarily living with you. You know the truth though. This is his “think fast”. This is his way of showing you just how much he trusts you, just like him telling you his real name was. Not only is he saying he wants you in his space, his home, but he wants you to be a part of it. “You ok there?” Keigo asks and god he sounds so nervous. But you’re realizing you’ve been quiet too long now so finally you nod your head frantically and take the offered key. “Yes! Of course Kei, I would love to move in with you. My answer is yes,” you laugh. “Jesus Kid, you had me worried for a second there,” he huffs but he’s grinning too as he pulls you in for a sweet and passionate kiss. Even once your lips part he keeps you close, his forehead pressed to yours as he lets himself truly relish in the fact he gets to have you.

“So when can I move in?” you all but whisper into the space between you. “How about tomorrow?” he suggests. “My lease on this place doesn’t run out for another month Kei,” you respond, pulling back a little so he can see you roll your eyes. “And? Bakugo and I could use it for our Fight club shit,” he grins. “Oh my god, you’re the worst,” you groan. You try pushing him away but Keigo doesn’t let you get too far, laughing as he pulls you back close to him again. “Nah, you love me,” he teases you. You shake your head but sober back up a little, looking him in his beautiful golden eyes as you say, “I do. I love you Keigo Takami.” “I love you too (y/n) (y/l/n).”

You don’t know exactly what’s in store for the two of you from here on out, but whatever it is you’re glad he’ll be by your side through it.

Author’s Note: I know beer pong is a very American thing but I feel like Kirishima saw it in an American movie and from then on insisted it be included at parties. Also bonus points if you caught the Umbrella Academy reference. On a more serious note this is it. The final chapter of Official Accounts. I’m so incredibly touched by all the love this fic has received and I’m so grateful to all of you who’ve supported me by reading, liking, and reblogging it. This became so much larger than I thought it would but I’m so happy to have gone on this little journey with you all. I love each and every one of you and hope you’ll stick around to see what I write next ❤️

Thanks for reading everyone! ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist [closed]: @cathy8taffy @katzurras @grumpyfroggies @captaincyberqueen @itskindofafairything @420-uwu @someweirdshitman @oliviasslut @the-adzukibean @jupiter-is-a-sero-kinnie @ladyzayismultifandom @pixelwisp

[refuge-au]

>Open the Captain's File

Xisuma: Break the News

The model in the center of the entrance hall spun slowly, the mechanical, to scale, planets orbiting the massive sun at a rate thousands of times faster than their real counterparts did. The fake sun glowed softly, it’s light dimming briefly as Jupiter crossed between it and the man viewing it. Jupiter’s moons and the metallic arms that held them above the ground created a spiderweb pattern of shadows on the ground that slowly swept across the body of the visitor as it moved.

Xisuma stood several feet away from the center of the solar system model, his eyes tracing the path of Earth as it came out from behind the sun in an almost melancholy way. His brown hair was tied back in a short ponytail, his beard freshly trimmed- although you couldn’t see it at all thanks to the respirator he was wearing. He had even gone to the trouble of putting on one of his more casual dress uniforms.

The effort hadn’t gone unnoticed by the museum staff, drawing a couple of confused looks and some whispers, but he did his best to ignore him. What he had to say wouldn’t go over well, so he might as well look nice. Get some compliments.

The door opened, and the employee greeted the group of people that walked in cheerfully. X turned around, taking a deep breath, and smiled. Show time.

An older woman, just a bit shorter than him, her hair almost completely white, was pushing the wheelchair of a man that someone might have mistaken for him, if his hair weren't as white as hers and his face covered in scars. The woman checked in at the front desk quickly, showing a pass, and then turned and saw him, her eyes crinkling in a smile.

She walked over to Xisuma, the man in the wheelchair saying something and rolling over to the other side of the model.

“Hey, mom.” He said, trying to ignore the way his bottom lip trembled when she pulled him into a hug, her respirator digging into his shoulder.

“You’re all dressed up.” She said, stepping back and putting a hand to his cheek in the way that she always had when they were little. “You look nice, honey.”

“Thank you.” He said, bringing his hand up to cover hers. “You look nice too.”

She chuckled, patting the side of his face and then putting her hand down. “Oh, stop. I didn’t realize that this was going to be a formal dress event, or I would’ve thrown on something besides my work clothes.”

“It’s not a formal dress event, I just felt like cleaning up a bit.” Xisuma shrugged, hoping that the tension in his shoulders didn’t betray the news that he was bringing. “Haven’t had the opportunity to wear this in a bit, got a discount on museum admission, you know.”

She smiled at him again, but her eyes seemed… sad. “…Xisuma, we’re very proud of you. You know that, right?”

“I know.” He replied. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, just looking at him, as if she was searching for an answer to an unspoken question in his eyes. Whatever she found there didn’t seem to change her emotions, her soft smile and that strange sadness remaining as she pulled her purse to the front of her, opening it.

“You should go talk to your brother, dear. I need to go change my filter before I forget.”

“You didn’t change it before you came here? Mom…”

She waved one hand in the air as she continued to move things around in her purse with the other. “The alert came just as we got inside. A few minutes on a bad filter isn’t going to kill me.”

“…Alright. We’ll wait for you.” Xisuma said, and his mother waved him off as he headed over to the other side of the model where his twin brother was sitting, staring up at the planets in silence.

He reached his side, and stopped. Neither of them spoke for what seemed like forever.

Finally his brother spoke. “Xisuma.”

“Xenelis.” He replied, looking down to find his twin’s steely grey eyes staring up at him.

“Where are they sending you this time?” Xenelis’ voice was quiet, raspy- although he didn’t know if it was from the medical grade respirator attached to his mouth and nose or from his vocal cords being underused.

Xisuma started. “What? What do you mean?���

“You didn’t visit us at home or at the hospital, you called us out. You’re dressed up, but you didn’t tell us that this was a formal event. You’re stiffer than usual, which is saying something, and you look like you’re homesick even though you’re a fifteen minute commute away from your apartment.” Xenelis said, his voice carefully void of all emotion. “Where are they sending you?”

Xisuma looked away, breaking eyes contact and staring up at the solar system spinning above him. “Off planet.”

“Out of galaxy?”

“Yes.”

“How far?”

Xisuma didn’t respond for a moment too long, and that was all the answer that his brother needed. His sigh, heavy and full of disappointment and bitterness, hit Xisuma like a bullet to the heart.

“Of course.” Xenelis said. “Well, congratulations. You did it. You left us behind, just like you always wanted too. Good job, bro.”

“Damnit, Xen, you know that’s not-“ Xisuma rounded on his brother, hands automatically going to his hips.

“It’s not? It’s not? It sure as hell looks like it is. You’ve been leaving our whole lives, Iz- it’s just nonstop leaving and leaving and leaving- and now you finally don’t have to come back!” Xenelis snapped. “Good for you! Living your dream!”

“This mission is for the sake of the entire planet! I can’t just refuse to go on a mission that might make or break the human race-“

“Of course you can! You’re not the only high ranking officer out there! They could’ve found someone else, anyone else!”

“They came to me, specifically, asked me to pick out a crew, told me that we would save the world- how am I supposed to turn that offer down? You would’ve taken it in an instant-“

“Not if you were in my position I fucking wouldn’t’ve-!”

“Boys?” Their mom called from the other side of the model.

“Coming, mom.” They chorused automatically, shooting each other a glare. Xisuma walked around one side of the model and Xenelis rolled around the other, meeting in the middle.

Their mother smiled at both of them, apparently unaware of the argument that had been rapidly escalating until she entered the conversation. “There you are. Shall we go look at the new exhibits? I heard they had one about the Titanic.”

“Sure, mom.” Xisuma said, falling into step behind her as she led the way into the museum.

The visit was… cordial. Their mother chatted with both of them about equally, talking about this and that, whatever came to her mind. She was probably trying to fill the heavy silence that fell between the twins, Xenelis refusing to speak to Xisuma, and vice versa.

When they reached the end of their museum tour, pausing in the aquarium section before they left, Xisuma bit the bullet.

“Mom,” he said, folding his hands behind his back. “I have something I need to tell you.”

“Go ahead, dear.” She said absently, watching as a massive manta ray swam overhead.

Bathed in the blue light from the massive aquarium tank, she and Xenelis looked almost peaceful. Gods only knew how made Xen really was, however, and Xisuma knew that it was only a trick of the light. Or maybe it was a trick of the mind, him trying to convince himself that him leaving wouldn’t hurt them as much as he knew it would.

“…I’m leaving.” He said, turning to watch as the manta continued on its way. “They’re sending me on a mission to deep space.”

Her eyes closed momentary, steeling herself as she turned to him. “Deep space?”

“Past Centauri.” He said quietly. “They’re building a team of scientists and researchers to start colonizing a new planet.”

“Why so far away?” She asked, her voice trembling slightly.

“Mars can’t sustain a population like Earth’s, and after the Venus colonies failed… the galaxy isn’t suitable for life anymore. You know it’s true, mom. You’ve watched it happen. Think of how different things are now from when you were a kid.” His tone was soft, but he knew that there was a hint of pleading in there somewhere. She must understand. She wouldn’t be mad at him too, right?

“I know, I know, but… but of all people, why you?” Her voice broke, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

Xisuma’s heart sank as he stepped forward, hugging her. “They couldn’t find anyone better to do it. Mom-“

“When will you come home?” She asked, her voice thick with tears.

“I don’t know.” Maybe never. “I… don’t know.”

She cried for a while, and her sons remained in silence, one other knowing what to say, and the other not wanting to say anything.

When she finally stopped, she only had positive things to say. She was proud of him, she was sure he was going to do great, they would be able to communicate, even if it wasn’t face to face… but that sorrow in her eyes that he had noticed before was much more prevalent.

Had she expected this?

Was he really as predictable as Xen said he was?

They said their goodbyes just outside the museum. His mother hugged him tightly, told him she would see him soon.

Xenelis’ eyes crinkled in what he knew was some form of a mocking smile or sneer. “I hope you have fun, Iz.”

“I’m not leaving right away. I’ll see you again.”

“That’s what you always say.” Xen retorted sharply, turning and rolling away towards the ramp down to the street, where their mother was already waiting.

Xisuma stood at the door to the museum and watched them get into a car and fade out of sight, his heart heavy in his chest.

Computer: New Command unlocked!

Computer: Input the command Profile: [Name] to open the file associated with that person. Please note: some files or portions of files may not be available due to clearance levels.

Computer: Input Command: Show Available Files:

> Open the Pilot’s File.

> Open the Doctor’s File.

> Continue.

[deniigi]

bro, work made me depressed that I literally left my seat to regain any resemblance of joy or something equivalent before breaking down again. Do you think you can provide a ficlet I involving Peter and Sam to cheer me up?

FUCK CAPITALISM

TAKE THIS

Title: Calibrating

Summary: Sam and Peter talk themselves towards a meaningful discussion.

---------

Peter did this thing—this infuriating thing where he texted shit like ‘come over’ and then Sam had to bend over backwards to be flirty and coy.

It was imperative that he came across as flirty and coy.

Im-fucking-perative, regardless of what Leilani said or Matt’s annoyance at what he called the ‘jungle of depravity’ that overtook the group chat pretty much daily.

Sam didn’t care.

If Peter texted the group or sent any message that might be construed upside-down as something romantic or sexual, Sam not only had to catch it, but he had to volley it back.

This, he told Leilani, sealed their No-Homo contract.

She stared at him.

He decided to demonstrate.

“See, here, look, I’ll show you,” he said, dragging out his phone. “Exhibit A. There he is, see? Asking about the strength of PVC pipe in pounds per meter like a fuckin’ tease. Now I can’t just let him think that I saw that and didn’t think of it as a metaphor, alright? So I say—”

“Sam, why does he need to know the strength of PVC pipe?” Leilani interrupted.

It didn’t matter. That wasn’t the point of this discussion.

“I’m sending a winky-face,” Sam informed her as he did that very thing.

Leilani stared harder than before.

But look, skepticism was unrewarded. Peter texted a kiss right back and said ‘oh boo, you always know just want to say.’

How could she not see the No-Homo? Sam could do this all day. He could and there would be absolutely no problems and he wouldn’t want to suffocate himself in his pillow at the end of it all.

It was fine.

“Samuel,” Leilani said, “I’m going to tell you something and I want you to hear it with an open heart. Will you open your heart for me?”

Sam spun around in his chair and arranged his arms and legs so that they were as open as they could feasibly be without being obscene.

“I am more open than a boiled clam,” he informed her.

Leilani blinked slowly, then shook her head and checked over her shoulders. She waved him in closer. Then closer. And then close enough that he could smell her perfume on her neck.

“You’re the tease,” she said.

Then she left the backroom. And Sam could only stare after her, frozen in horror as his wide-open heart wrinkled in on itself, picking up mass and gravity until it was naught but a black hole.

“I’m the tease?” he whispered to himself in shock.

Oh no.

OH NO.

 --

  “SENSEI.”

Matt dropped his collection of folders and swore, clutching at his chest.

“We have discussed volume, Sam,” he said, bending down to collect his paper children.

Sam took the opportunity to throw both arms around his neck from behind as a threat.

“Don’t lie,” he warned. “Swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, amen.”

Matt stood up and Sam felt his toes leave the floor. He hadn’t planned this far ahead.

“Or what?” Matt asked, 110% unfazed.

Sam wished that his feet weren’t kicking around in air here. It really put a dent in his intimidation factor.

“Am I a tease?” he asked.

Matt faced front with heavy eyebrows. Sam couldn’t see his face from this angle, but he knew that aura of irritation.

“If you have to ask the question, then you already know the answer,” Matt said. “Does that help?”

“No, I hate you now, actually,” Sam told him.

Matt dropped him right on his ass.

 --

 There had to be a way to attain proof. To determine once and for all that it was Sam who was in the wrong here, misinterpreting things like the genius that he was.

Thankfully, Sam’s experience of growing up as a non-only child for the last two decades had prepared him exactly for this type of conversation.

 SC: HANNAH AM I A TEASE???

HC: yes

HC: next question

SC: FUCK.

SC: WHAT IF ITS NOT NO-HOMO?

HC: my dear brother, the only options if something is not no-homo is for it to be no-no or homo-homo.

SC: Murder me

HC: gladly

SC: I’m in possible homo-homo with spiderman

HC: are you sure it’s not no-no?

SC: MURDER ME

HC: okay but like if it’s no-no then this is not a problem, right?

SC: If it’s no-no then I’ve read every sign wrong and I deserve to become a partially eaten tadpole awash in an indifferent boiling sea

HC: okay so we’re leaning INTO the drama today I gotcha. Alright but like, just for the sake of arguing, what if it was homo-homo?

SC: then I need you to bury my body somewhere no one will ever find it because my heart can’t stand requited love you know this about me.

HC: give me your login

SC: thank you I love you you’re the only person who matters

 --

 BT: Spiderman.

SM: Blindspot. DMing? You okay?

BT: this is Hannah.

SM: OH

SM: hi Hannah are you okay? Did you need something?

BT: My brother never got tested for reading comprehension but would have failed anyways. Can you arbitrate an arbitrary argument for us?

SM: I’m positive that there is a link between those two ideas that I am missing, but sure?

BT: okay are you ready?

SM: my loins have been girded.

BT: gross. you two are made for each other. Okay: what are your opinions on 24yo Chinese dudes with bad vision who are 5’7” tall, with terrible hair and brains as big and gaseous as Jupiter?

SM: positive

BT: you’re so romantic spidey.

SM: I know

BT: I’m going to tell him now

SM: WAIT DON’T TELL HIM

BT: byeeeeeee

 --

 Sam was going to have a heart attack. He couldn’t look at his phone. He was just going to lay here until he wasted away into a fossil.

Mm, yes, what a wonderful way to escape any and all feelings. That was—

His phone chirped and he nearly fell out of his chair in a hurry to answer it.

 HC: [image] [image]

HC: you owe me your bones

SC: AFASDFADFAS:FJaf’asdfjahsdlfihasdl’fas

SC: TAKE THEM

HC: if you fuck spiderman you have to get pregnant and demand alimony for your beautiful mixed babies Samuel

SC: Darling sister, we’ve talked about this. it isn’t going to happen I still have yet to steal a womb

HC: try harder

HC: ttyl

--

 Okay, this was fine.

Everything was fine.

Spidey liked Sam back, it was no big deal. Spidey liked everyone back. Even the teases.

Even.

The.

Teases.

Fuck, Sam had to move.

 --

 Foggy caught him biting his nails to pieces over the copy machine and asked him if he was okay. He was not. Foggy could read this off him. He didn’t ask again, but he did say that if Sam was feeling particularly anxious about something he was welcome to go have his breakdown upstairs in Kirsten’s kitchen instead of downstairs among the files.

Sam appreciated his offer. He hiked up the stairs, and halfway up, his phone chirped.

His heart stopped.

It chirped again, and then again. By the time he got to the top of the stairs, it was chirping every couple of seconds with messages being typed and sent at mach speed.

He kicked off his shoes and went to go stand over Kirsten’s sink to open the first one.

  PP: Sam it’s peter hey listen your sister messaged me

PP: and was asking some pretty invasive questions and I replied to her. I don’t know if you saw them but I just wanted to say that if that makes you uncomfortable in any way know that I absolutely don’t mind and I’ll stop

PP: you can tell me to fuck off if that crossed your boundaries. I shouldn’t have even messaged her back without asking you

PP: and obviously in future I won’t talk to her until I’ve cleared it with you I just wasn’t thinking I’m never thinking it’s a little hard to think sometimes

PP: especially when you message me back and I get caught up in the games and the emojis and stuff and like I’m sure that sometimes I overstep but I don’t mean to and you can tell me at any point if you want me to stop

PP: I guess I just really like to talk to you sometimes and it’s fun to have someone to banter with who actually banters back like not in a mean way but in a really nice and funny way. you’re an easy guy to talk to is what I’m saying

PP: which I’m sure you get a lot. I don’t mean that I want to like tell you all my problems I swear it’s not that it’s just more of a AHHHHH I don’t even know what I’m saying I think it’s sorry???

PP: I’m sorry??? I don’t mean to imply anything that isn’t there and I don’t want to make you feel like you have to either. Ar e you mad? Please don’t be mad okay wait no I’ve sent like seven fucking messages I’m being a creep oh my god IM SORRY ILL SHUT UP NOW OKAY SORRY BYE

  Oh nooooo.

The panic-induced infodump was not only familiar but horrendously endearing.

Sam had to explode now.

Man. Bummer.

  SC: it’s okay Peter

PP: OH THANK GOD

PP: is it tho??? Are you sure?

SC: I have positive feelings towards people like you too

  Sam’s heart pounded. He almost locked his phone and threw it in the sink, but another text came in just as that thought finished crossing his mind.

  PP: you do?

SC: yes of course I do

PP: oh nice

SC: yeah

  Annnnnnnd cue mutual nerd awkwardness. Great. Well done, Sam, you’ve done it again.

He sighed and turned away from the sink and sunk down onto the floor with his back against it.

Such a loser, Chung. So painfully awkward. Would it kill you to, just for once, slow down and chill for a minute?

God.

  PP: hey sam?

  No, Sam just wanted to sit on this floor and wallow.

  PP: hello? Are you still there?

 --

Sam let his head fall back against the sink. He closed his eyes.

His phone rang in his hand and he nearly had a heart attack. His fingers scrabbled over its face and the caller ID read ‘Peter Parker.’

Oh god.

Oh no.

Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.

“Hello?” he answered to the scratchy phone silence on the other side of the line.

He frowned.

“Hello?” he tried again, a smidge less desperate.

“Hi.”

There he was.

“Hey,” Sam said. “Sorry, just got awkward.”

Peter laughed through the line.

“Me too,” he said. “That was awkward.”

Yeah.

“Yeah.”

A long pause.

“I’m doing it again,” Sam moaned into his hand.

“No, no. Hey, you’re good,” Peter said. “I was just uh. Calling because.” He trailed off.

Sam waited.

“Sam? You still there?”

He startled and cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I’m here,” he said. “Sorry, zoning out a little bit. You know, busy day.”

“Yeah,” Peter said.  “Yeah, I know.”

Sam breathed as quietly as he could. He could almost hear Peter doing the same on his end.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta g—” Sam started.

“Hey, do you like me?”

HNG.

“No?” Sam answered and then punched himself in the leg. “Sorry. Uh. I didn’t—I mean, uh. Yes. Of course I like you. You’re a really good person. I admire you a lot.”

Hannah, oh Hannah, where is thine shovel? Sam needed it to dig this grave deeper, please.

“Oh. Okay, I just—I guess I uh, have a hard time reading the tone of your texts sometimes,” Peter said.

“It’s okay, I get that a lot,” Sam said. “I’ll try harder to be more direct.”

“No,” Peter said. “No, no, you don’t have to change anything.”

“Oh? Okay, well. Maybe I still will, though,” Sam said.

If Peter wouldn’t have heard him, he would have started to try to fit his whole fist in his mouth.

Five minutes of conversation and they were still saying nothing.

“Sam?”

He swallowed.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Next time you’re in the city, would you, uh, maybe want to go out somewhere? With me?”

Out? What like, to a movie or something?

“Yeah, just like that,” Peter said. “’Cause I uh. Would like to. Do that, I mean. With you.”

“With me?” Sam asked. “Oh right, and your other friends, uh, names—sorry, I’m bad with names. N-ned?”

“No,” Peter said oddly abruptly. “Well, I mean—I don’t mean it like that. I just—just with you. For now. That’s what I mean.”

“Oh. Uh. Kinda like a date?” Sam asked through the forcefield of self-hatred that felt like it spanned the entire continental US.

There was a pause. Sam held his breath.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “Exactly like a date. If you don’t mind—you know, doing that with me.”

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

“Are you trying to lure me to a secondary location, Mr. Parker?” Sam asked seriously.

The laugh that met him made all the muscles in his shoulders relax.

“Maybe if the bit at the first location goes well,” Peter said. Then added hurriedly, “If you’re down for that.”

Sam was down for it right now.

Actually, maybe not in Kirsten’s kitchen. But like, right now in a different location.

“If it’s a movie date, we can do it through Netflix Party,” he pointed out faux-lightly. “It wouldn’t be the same, but we could do it this weekend, even. Saturday—I’m off Saturday.”

Peter said nothing for a long time.

“Okay. Saturday,” he finally agreed, “I can do Saturday. Kinda hard to hold your hand through a screen, but I can give it my best shot?”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffff.

“Oh, I bet you will,” Sam nearly choked.

“You’re really cute, Sam.”

NO. SHUT UP. YOU ARE.

“Thanks.”

“I wanted to kiss you last time you were here, but I was too, uh. Shy. Embarrassed. One of them.”

Sam was going to puke, but in like, the happiest kind of way.

“I like you a lot too, Peter,” he whispered.

“Are you crying?”

“What? No.”

“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

“Shut up, I’m not. I—the old man’s downstairs, his ears aren’t as good through ceilings, but I just want to make sure—”

“Uh-huh,” Peter said. “I’m sure that’s what it is. So I’ll see you Saturday? Maybe Facetime or something?”

“Yeah, Saturday,” Sam said. “I’ll send you a time when I know. I’ve gotta go. Meltdown-alloted-breaktime is over.”

Peter laughed.

“Alright, man, I’ll talk to you later. Bye now.”

“Bye,” Sam said lamely.

He hung up the phone. He did not scream. But he did fist pump and then fall onto his side.

 ---------

Here’s to hoping things get easier for you anon!!

[smooshjames]

forget you not (iv)

you knock on my door and tell me you don’t wanna fight (or: inside jokes and invitations)

word count: 4.5k

a/n: part four of forget you not! this is the second to last part as it stands right now, but i am toying with the idea of writing an epilogue. i haven’t made up my mind on that front quite yet, it’ll probably depend on if there’s any demand for an epilogue once the parts i’ve got written are all finished up. anyway, the usual disclaimers: i didn’t write any of the songs mentioned, they all belong to little mix, this chapter’s songs are here and here (no new ones this time, but i figure i’ll link them anyway for the sake of easy access). here is a link to my ko-fi, which, as usual, is never an obligation. thank you for taking the time to read this, and i hope you enjoy!

warnings: more angst (surprising, right?), an author who is very bad at sketch comedy trying to write characters who are very good at sketch comedy

previous parts: one, two, three

With the red dot on the cameras blinking, you knew it was even more important now that you kept up that positive facade. You did your best to think about good things, hoping your smile wouldn’t look too forced.

To your right, Shayne launched into an energetic intro where he explained the rules of the game and introduced you guys as guests. Once he had given his little speech, he turned to you, though his eyes were fixed on the partition over your shoulder. Still, his smile didn’t waver for even a second. “So, are you guys ready to play?”

You nodded enthusiastically and laughed in easy agreement as you were elected to be the first person in the stool. You filled your mouth with water and flashed a thumbs-up, and out came Alexis. She used an inside joke, which was probably cheating, but it made you spit your water out anyway.

The game went on like this for a while, until finally, the only person yet to try to make you laugh was Shayne. You braced yourself as he asked if you were ready, humming an affirmative and doing your best to keep your breathing even.

He came out holding a red telephone, which he set on top of the bongos.

“Watch this,” he said, flashing you a shit-eating grin. For a second, you felt yourself tilting forward into that grin, into those eyes. Your heart jackhammered in your chest. It was the first genuine smile he’d given you all day, and God it was beautiful. “Hi, Dominos? You’re my favorite pizza place.”

You knitted your eyebrows in confusion.

“Watch this though,” he said. He mashed his finger against the phone buttons and lifted it again. “Hi, Pizza Hut? You’re my favorite pizza place.”

And then he nodded at you a little, smiling expectantly. When you didn’t laugh, he held up one finger. “Watch this though.”

With his free hand, he made a sort of waving motion in the direction of the partition, and out came Damien holding an identical red phone. He handed it to you and then went back to where all the props were. Shayne dialed his phone and made a little ringing sound effect for emphasis. You picked up your phone.

“Hi, Y/N?” he asked. You hummed something vaguely resembling “hello” into the receiver, figuring you might as well play along with the bit. In the same voice, with that same shit-eating grin, he said, “you’re my favorite singer.”

You weren’t sure why, maybe it was the strange vocal inflection or the mirth in his eyes as he said it, but sure enough, you sprayed water all over the soundstage. Shayne laughed gleefully as you did so, and the sound of it made you forget to breathe for just a second; you hadn’t heard that laugh in years. It made your chest ache to hear it again. In a sort of daze, you handed him your prop and he took it backstage.

Everyone came back out and you had to choose who made you laugh the hardest. You picked Damien, who had pranced out in an insanely tangled red wig with a stuffed flamingo in one hand, partially because he had made you laugh really hard and partially because you were trying to procrastinate Shayne's turn as much as possible.

Damien’s round passed quickly, and you managed to make him laugh after a few seconds. He chose Piper to go next, so she took her place on the stool. You went backstage with everyone else and started sifting through props to think of a bit.

And then Shayne fully took his shirt off.

You froze halfway through picking up a cowboy hat. You were pretty sure that anyone listening closely enough could’ve heard the gears in your brain grinding to a halt.

You wondered, if you started running now, how far into the ocean you could get before anyone noticed you were gone.

Carly nudged you with her elbow and asked you to help her with a bit, forcing you to turn away from Shayne, which was probably for the best. You took the opportunity to remind yourself that not only did he have a new girlfriend, but that the two of you didn’t work. You never had and you never would.

And before you knew it, Piper’s round was over, and Shayne was up next. You felt a bolt of panic. You knew you could make him laugh, but you weren’t sure how to go about doing it and you were rapidly running out of time to figure it out. Finally, you decided against every bit of logic you had. You decided to just go with an inside joke.

He probably wouldn’t remember it, anyway. It didn’t really matter. If you didn’t make him laugh it wasn’t the end of the world. At the end of that day, you were just here to promote the band. 

At least, this is what you told yourself as you stood behind the partition waiting for your turn. But your hands were trembling anyway.

Your turn came up. Alexis gave you a little high five on your way out. You walked up to Shayne’s right side and leaned in close to him, careful not to touch him. You looked at him through your eyelashes and shifted your weight from foot to foot. “Hey,” you said, voice low and sultry. Shayne’s brows knitted in confusion, and you feared for a moment that he had forgotten. You were probably only half-audible to the mics, but you didn’t care. You were focused single-mindedly on making Shayne laugh. “I was just wondering… do you like tacos?” You were careful to drag out the vowels on the word ‘tacos.’ You heard Damien start giggling behind the partition.

At least he remembered.

And then Shayne’s eyes widened and he surged forward as he tried to keep the water in. Your heart skipped a beat, though you couldn’t quite pin down why.

“Do you like tacos, Shayne? Do you?” you asked, leaning a little closer. You felt more confident now that you knew he remembered the joke. “Tell me how much you like tacos, Shayne.”

That did the trick. He sprayed water everywhere, shrieking with laughter as he did so.

Once the water was cleaned up, everyone else came back out from behind the partition and Shayne chose Alexis to go next.

After Alexis, it was Carly’s turn, and then you were all done. You had even finished a little bit ahead of schedule.

Ian came over once the cameras were cut, smiling brightly. “That was really good, you guys! Thanks so much for coming in today.”

“Thanks for having us!” Alexis said. “It was a ton of fun.”

You nodded in agreement but you were only half-listening. Shayne had somehow ended up right next to you during the outro of the video, and he hadn't made an effort to move away after the cameras stopped rolling. He was close to you, maybe a little closer than necessary, and that fact was all you could focus on.

As you were listening to Ian talk about when the video would be released, you felt Shayne wrap his hand around your forearm, squeezing lightly to get your attention. That one simple touch set your entire right side on fire. You felt like he’d lit off a fireworks display under your skin. You turned to face him, and you couldn’t help noticing that he looked more than a little bit like a kicked puppy.

“Can we talk?” he asked. His voice was soft, a stark contrast to how loud he’d been just minutes before as you were filming the video outro. “Just for a few minutes, please?”

At these questions, a knot of mixed emotion -- fear, anger, a little misguided hope -- gathered in a knot at the base of your spine and squeezed so hard you went lightheaded with it.

You glanced around for Michelle, who was watching you like a hawk. You tilted your head toward Shayne and shrugged. She nodded.

“Okay,” you replied. In all honesty, you weren’t sure why you said yes. You didn’t know what he could possibly have to say to you. Your mind raced with all the worst-case scenarios; that he would rub his new girlfriend in your face, that he would say something mean or insulting, that he would tear down what little you had managed to build yourself up. You wrestled those ideas into submission, though. Shayne had made his mistakes, but he had never been intentionally cruel.

He led you back through the office until he found an empty conference room. You closed the door behind you as you entered.

“What’s up?” you asked. You cringed as it was coming out of your mouth. Really? What’s up?

Now that you were alone, some of his forced Funny Man bravado seemed to crumble away. His shoulders slumped and the shine went out of his eyes, and the look he gave you was sad, exhausted.

You felt like the earth was rotating the wrong way, like God had vacuum sealed the room shut, like Saturn was crashing into Jupiter and imploding on impact.

“I, um…” he mumbled. He shoved his hands into his pockets and chuckled nervously. For a moment, you were reminded of the first time he’d asked you out. You’d both been so young then, and he had been all nerves and goofy smiles. You knew even from that first conversation that you were a goner. “I should’ve planned out what I was gonna say, huh? I had all weekend to think about it.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” you said. “This weekend has been… a series of really fucking weird, awful coincidences. You don’t have to, like, apologize. We’ll just chalk it up to being a series of unfortunate events.”

His brow furrowed and his head tilted slightly, which really intensified the whole kicked puppy vibe he had going. Your heart ached, and there was a moment where the muscles in your legs twitched, where your body tried to move itself over to him without your brain’s consent.

You stayed rooted to your place.

“What?” he asked, voice small, barely even audible over the hum of the air conditioning.

You shrugged. “It’s okay, Shayne. I’m not, like, upset that you moved on --”

Bold-faced lie number one.

“Wait,” he said, but you couldn’t hear him over the blood roaring through your ears.

“-- and Courtney seems really nice, so I’m happy that you’re happy --”

Bold-faced lie number two.

“No, just --” he tried to interrupt you again, but you kept going.

“-- and I’m sorry that we had to see each other again in this context, it’s been… really fucking weird. But that doesn’t mean you need to try to make it better, okay? Don’t worry about me.”

Bold-faced lie number three.

Before you could conjure up more ways to end the conversation and escape the room, Shayne took a halting step forward.

“Courtney and I aren’t dating,” he said. Your mouth snapped shut as your brain slammed on the brakes. “We’re just friends. I went to the concert with her because the person she was supposed to go with canceled last minute and she couldn’t find anybody else.”

Oh.

“And I’m sorry we had to see each other again in this context, too, but not because I want to patronize you by telling you that I’m sorry things didn’t work out. I mean I am sorry things didn’t work out, but not in like a My Life Is Better Now, Sorry About That kinda way --” he stopped, faltering, obviously unsure of how to put his thoughts into words.

Oh.

“I mean, if anything, you’re the one who’s better now; --” wait, what? “-- you’re successful, doing what you love, surrounded by your friends, and you’ve clearly moved on. --” wait, what? “-- But I just wanted to talk to you because… I don’t really know why, honestly. Because a part of me is still twenty-one and in love with you, I guess.”

So that was what it was like to have every organ in your body simultaneously crushed under a hydraulic press. Interesting.

You couldn’t think of anything poetic to say, so you settled for what seemed the most pressing. “You think I cried on stage singing Towers, a song I wrote about you, because I’m over you? You think I’m the one who’s moved on?”

He shrugged meekly. “I don’t know. That was just one song. You sang a hell of a lot of other songs about how you don’t need a man, about how your life is great. And those aren’t bad things! They were really good songs, but I just assumed --”

“Carly and Alexis wrote all those songs,” you said flatly. He fell silent. “I just sing them.”

There was a moment of silence that seemed to last an eternity, and then there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Shayne said, his eyes still locked on yours.

A tall brunet man with a thick beard opened the door and stuck his head inside. “Hey,” he said. “There’s a meeting in here in five minutes.” And then he looked between the two of you, and his eyes narrowed. You figured the tension in the room was so palpable, even a stranger could pick up on it. “Everything okay, Shayne?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Shayne replied. “We’ll be out of here in a minute. Sorry, Matt.”

“No problem,” the man, Matt, said. He nodded at you in acknowledgment, seeming more than a little confused at your presence. The door closed softly as he left.

“It’s probably for the best,” you said. “Michelle will have a coronary if I’m gone for too long. Places to be, people to see, insanely specific and personal questions to answer.”

He laughed a little bit, nodding, and for a moment the heavy awkwardness that had settled in the room seemed to lift just slightly. “Is your number still the same?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you replied. “Why?”

“I’ll text you my new address. Um, if you can, if you want to, it would probably be good for you to come over tonight to talk a little more. I can order some dinner for us. Only if you want to. I just don’t think… I don’t want to leave things this way.”

A sudden bolt of anger streaked through you, fiery hot. You clenched your jaw. He didn’t want to leave things this way? He had no qualms with leaving things this way when he’d let your entire relationship go down the drain all those years ago. And now he just got to waltz back in and invite you over for dinner and pretend he didn’t cause you the worst heartbreak you’d ever felt? After you had finally gotten yourself close to okay again, he got to come back in and ruin everything, knock you right back down to where you started? That wasn’t fucking fair.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to,” you said, and it wasn’t a lie. You still had one more interview after leaving the Smosh offices. You’d be completely worn out by the time that was done, especially on top of the exhaustion from the emotional rollercoaster that you’d boarded against your will.

“I’ll send the address anyway,” Shayne said. “Don’t feel pressured to come. If you don’t, I completely get it. You can delete the text and block my number if you want. I swear that after this I’ll never bother you again. But just in case.”

“Okay,” you replied. You really didn’t want to argue with him. You just wanted to track down Michelle and the band and go on your way to the next interview and try to forget about everything that had happened in the last three days. “Fine.”

He nodded and pulled out his phone, and after a moment you felt your own vibrate in your back pocket. You wondered briefly if he had your number memorized, which would have been kind of weird, or if he’d just never deleted your contact information. The notion that the latter might be true made your heart skip a beat.

Once he had repocketed his phone, he looked up at you. There was a moment of lingering silence where it was clear that neither of you knew what to say.

Finally, you lifted your hand in farewell. “It’s been, um… it was good to see you again, Shayne.” Bold-faced lie number four. “Bye.”

“Bye, Y/N,” he said.

Doing your best to ignore the tightness in his voice, you walked past him out of the room and scurried off to meet up with the band. You found them talking to Courtney, Damien, and another girl that you didn’t recognize. She was about Courtney’s height, Chinese, with brown hair and eyes.

“Ready to go, Y/N?” Piper asked.

“I think so,” you said. You turned to Damien and nodded your head over your shoulder. “Got a minute for goodbye?”

He nodded and the two of you retreated away from the rest of the group, not leaving their view but definitely out of earshot. “I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you,” he said.

“It’s okay, Damien, really,” you replied. You reached out to squeeze his arm reassuringly. “This weekend was wild for everybody involved. At least we got to see each other again, right? This has been really nice.”

He grinned and pulled you into another bear hug. “Yeah, it has been,” he said, and you felt it as a rumble in his chest more than you actually heard it. When you parted, he left one hand lingering on your arm and squeezed lightly before it dropped to his side. “Call sometime, okay? I’ve missed you.”

“Will do, Dames.” You glanced over your shoulder and saw Michelle looking at you expectantly. She tapped her wristwatch. You sighed. “I gotta run. I’ll see you around.”

He nodded and said a final goodbye before you turned to make your way back to the band. You noted on your way that Shayne had returned from the conference room. He was talking to Courtney and the brunette now.

You ignored the feeling of his eyes on you as you walked out of the offices and into the LA sunlight beyond.

***

Shayne came back from the conference room a few seconds after you did. He did his best not to watch you and Damien saying goodbye, did his best to push down the surge of jealousy as you hugged him. You were smiling up at him and it seemed easy, carefree. It was like you’d just seen each other yesterday. He wished he could be like that with you, even though he knew why he couldn’t. He was doomed to sad smiles and airless rooms and awkward tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

If time travel was real, he’d go back to that final night with you and kick his own ass.

Damien’s hand on his shoulder startled him out of his self-loathing. He turned to face his best friend and didn’t bother concealing the hurt on his face; Damien would see right past it even if he tried.

“You okay?” Damien asked. Shayne let out a strangled laugh. Of course he wasn’t okay.

“I feel like somebody tried to wring all the water out of my body,” he replied.

“What’s up with you today?” Courtney asked, and Shayne startled. He’d sort of forgotten she was there.

Shayne sighed. He figured he might as well tell her; she’d probably find out at some point anyway. That or she’d piece it together herself.

“Y/N and I used to be a couple, way back when,” he said. Courtney’s eyes went almost comically wide. “And it… didn’t end very well. Seeing each other again has been really fucking weird for both of us.”

“That’s why she cried when she sang Towers,” Courtney said, more to herself than to anyone in the room. She looked at Damien. “Is that why you know her? ‘Cause of her and Shayne?”

Damien shook his head. “Me and her were friends first. I introduced them.”

Courtney nodded slowly, obviously trying to process this new information. “Oh,” she said. Shayne couldn’t tell where her brain was (he rarely could). If he had to guess, he’d say she was probably combing over her every memory of the past weekend and looking for any indications of the history between you and Shayne. Sure enough, she continued after a moment: “that’s why she looked so constipated when we were at the photo op, and why you ‘needed some air’ halfway through the concert, and why you got all weird when I put my arm around your shoulders before, and why you disappeared after --” she stopped, her brows furrowing for a moment and then raising suddenly. She smirked. “Where’d you go after you finished filming, Shayne? You both came back pretty much at the same time.”

“Courtney --” Shayne said, voice scolding, trying to get her to stop whatever hellish train of thought she was getting onto.

“You’re still in love with her, huh?” Olivia said. She’d been silent for most of the conversation, but she was looking at him like she could see into his soul. Shayne froze. Was he that fucking obvious?

“Still in love with who?” Ian’s voice to his left startled him.

Courtney and Olivia stopped talking now, which Shayne was grateful for. They at least had the decency to let Shayne tell Ian on his own. Everyone looked from Ian to Shayne and back.

“Uh --” Shayne said. “I, um…”

“Is this about whatever weird shit is between you and the girl from the band?” Ian asked. Shayne threw his hands in the air, frustrated. Did the whole world know? Was he that easy to read?

“How did you…?”

“I’ve known you for almost five years, Shayne,” Ian replied. “You looked like you wanted to die during that entire shoot. There were a couple of moments it was so bad that I almost asked Courtney to come in and take your place. But the crew people said it didn’t come through on camera, so I just chalked it up to the fact that I know you so well. You also left with her right after we were done filming. Putting two and two together here doesn’t exactly take a rocket scientist.”

Shayne sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair, which made it look even more insane than it usually did. “We dated years ago. The way it ended was my fault. I shouldn’t have broken up with her. I shouldn’t have let her go. She was… she is one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. This weekend has rubbed everything I did wrong right into my face.”

“Is that it, then?” Courtney asked. “She walks out of here and you let her? After the universe, fate, whatever you wanna call it put in all the effort to bring you together again… you let her go? You repeat your biggest mistake?”

Shayne had to force down an anguished sound at that. He knew Courtney was trying to get him to chase after you, but in reality, she was probably right. You wouldn’t want to come to his apartment to talk things out. You wouldn’t want to see him after everything. You wouldn’t forgive him. And he didn’t deserve your forgiveness, anyway. You were absolutely right to ignore the invitation.

“I asked if she would come over,” he said. He was trying to be hopeful. But he’d seen the way your eyes narrowed when he invited you to his place. Your jaw had dropped and then tightened in that way it did when you were torn between anger and disbelief. “If she does, maybe we can talk things out. But it’s been years. I don’t know if she’ll… I don’t know, you guys.”

He was breathing, that much he knew, but he was sort of starting to wonder if someone had poked a hole in his trachea because he was pretty sure the air wasn’t making it to his lungs. He looked around at his friends, all staring at him like he should know the answer, like he should be able to just whip a magical solution out of his ass and call it a day, a happy ending with a neat little bow.

“I’m gonna take a walk,” he said, a little louder than necessary, because the room was suddenly way too fucking small. Before anyone could object, he walked quickly away from the group and down the hall until he found an empty soundstage. He slumped against the wall and slid down onto the ground. The events of the last three days were piling onto his shoulders like bricks. Memories of you were branded onto his brain and he couldn’t stop replaying them, a highlight reel of what he’d had and what he’d lost. You, years ago, laughing and looking at him like he was the only person in the room. You, years ago, standing in the living room, looking at him like he’d just driven a knife through your heart.

In an instant, he felt like Atlas, holding the weight of his own mistakes. Holding memories both good and bad; your first date, your first kiss, your first fight. You had said ‘I love you’ first because he wasn't brave enough, and you’d looked terrified as you did it, like you were afraid he’d laugh at you and push you away. You’d always looked half-scared, he realized; scared of rejection and pain and heartbreak. And he’d gone and thrown those fears right back in your face.

It took about three seconds for Shayne to collapse in on himself. He barely made it to the couch before his knees gave out on him. He stared up at the ceiling for a long while, desperately trying to process whatever the hell had just happened.

You were gone, and the apartment felt empty without you. It was a new type of loneliness, one he’d never experienced before. He felt a little like his chest was caving in and little like he was astral projecting, like he wasn’t quite contained within the walls of his body. He reached for his phone and sent you a barely-coherent text, apologizing and asking you to come home. And then he texted Damien and asked if he was home. He needed someone’s company.

He stared up at his ceiling while he awaited a response, considering all the things that had led him to this newest, most monumental fuck-up. Suddenly, the time he’d forgotten your birthday made him look like Boyfriend of the Year.

And then he reached into his pocket and he produced the little blue box he’d gotten just yesterday, and he opened it and looked at the ring inside. Not too flashy -- he didn’t have the money for any big diamonds, and you’d once joked that you didn’t want your engagement ring to weigh five tons. He smiled at the memory and traced his finger over the small diamond at the center of the ring.

God, what the fuck had he just done?

Shayne’s head thumped against the wall behind him, and he cried.

[chibinightowl]

First Contact

Inspired by @tanekore‘s utterly amazing Jason Todd piece, Freedom Fighter. I meant to have this up last week, but life threw me a ton of lemons, so I had to deal with the influx first. The story is set a few years in the future of a JayDick piece I wrote last year, which can be read here (forewarned, it’s E). This story is most definitely not. ^_^

---

The quiet ping from Tim’s comm put him on instant alert. And what a time for it, right in the middle of a conference vid with Federation High Command. Thank the stars he was alone in his office on board the Titan because otherwise, someone would undoubtedly notice the quiet shift of his hands as he brought up a holoscreen beneath his desk.

Normally, he wouldn’t go through the effort during a meeting such as this, but the alert was one he’d been waiting, no, hoping for since he lost contact with the merchant vessel his ultimate trump card was carefully stashed away on. The AI was his greatest accomplishment, so the loss of the ship and his agent were devastating to his plans to regain control over the hijacked Unternet, the sub-particle web that connected all the planets and colonies in the system with Earth. Anything was possible on those data streams and the government needed to regain control before Ulysses Armstrong realized exactly what he now had access to.

Tim suspected Moneyspider was involved somehow and Oracle concurred. Between them, they knew just about everything worth knowing in the Earth Federation; their respective roles in the Intelligence Service giving them more power than that fool of a President could ever dream of. Unlike the Penguin, he and Barbara Gordon were determined to use this knowledge for the betterment of all.

There were plans in place to overthrow the current regime, plans that they’d been ready to implement at the start of the next election cycle. Plans that were now crashing around them because of Armstrong. The AI had been key and now, despite all the odds, it was signaling it was back online.

How was Tim’s main question as his fingers flew over the small screen while maintaining eye contact with Admiral Wayne and the other Commanders of the six fleets that made up Naval forces protecting the solar system. From what was always a favorite unvoiced question of his since most of their turmoil came from within rather than from beyond. Case in point, right here as Armstrong was one of theirs, a former Naval officer with a massive chip on his shoulder that was often directed right at him.

Humans and their drama, he’d heard a Kryptonian say with derision once where he wasn’t supposed to overhear. It wasn’t entirely wrong, especially since humanity seemed to carry with them eons of history that they behaved as though occurred yesterday. Always looking to the past, the Kryptonian had added before changing the topic. 

Like they were ones to talk. There was a reason they were banned from this system. Or any other system with a yellow star. 

Tim swiped at the small holoscreen, tapping in the codes to receive data from the AI. Where was it? 

Streams of information flooded the screen, so fast his cybernetic-enhanced eyes could barely keep up. Dammit, this vid needed to end now. He could only listen to Ogilvy and Lark rehash the same stupid event for the third time. Neither of them came out of that looking great and both were determined to blame the other while trying to regain face with the Admiral.

Apparently, Admiral Wayne couldn’t stand to listen to it again either. “Alright, I think we’ve reached the end of the walk-ons,” he interrupted when Ogilvy paused for breath. “I expect to see all of you planet-side for the Naval graduation in three weeks. Until then, standard channels unless an emergency crops up.” 

He didn’t give the others a chance to reply and disconnected the vid, ending the conference. 

“Thank you,” Tim breathed, sending his holos to eye level with a flick of his wrist and expanding them. “TIM, load a chart of your current location.”

“Loading.” 

A large blue orb appeared on a third holo above the other two. 

Tim narrowed his eyes. “Neptune? How under the sun did you arrive there?”

The lost shuttle had been traveling between his base above Jupiter and Mars, using the interplanetary gates. Neptune’s current orbit could not be further away if it tried. 

A new stream of data appeared, complex figures and symbols that only someone with cybernetics could understand. What Tim read made him grimace because Oracle’s suspicions were now confirmed. Armstrong had used the Unternet to interfere with the interplanetary gates.

This was not good. At all.

“Current status?”

“Power cells at 15%, no exterior damage, and my scans indicate no internal damage either. However, I am in the hands of a human male who claims to be one of the greatest hackers who ever lived and he’s on the verge of cracking my HUD.”

“Son of a bitch,” Tim swore, fingers flying across the screen as he attempted to narrow in his own satellites and scanners on the AI’s location. “Any chance to draw power from elsewhere?”

“I’ve got enough power for a self-destruct. Should I initiate?”

Good question. Tim frowned and glanced back at the screen showing Neptune.

“Get me a visual on your hacker.”

The image flickered and a face appeared, framed by untamed red hair and a grungy cap that should have seen the trash bin ages ago. He was human alright, and smart enough to wear protective goggles as he poked around at TIM’s HUD. There was something familiar about him, but with his eyes concealed, it was up to facial recognition to narrow the possibilities. 

A list of possible names popped up, and Tim honed in on one immediately. Roy Harper, alias Arsenal. Member of the antigovernment group the Outlaws and listed as their resident munitions and technology expert. Hacker could probably fall under that category, although Tim suspected the man’s claims to be exaggerated unless things had drastically changed since the last time their paths crossed. 

It was times like these that Tim missed the relative simplicity of his Academy days. Dick would not be happy if he were to learn about this. 

Best not to tell him then. 

“No need for self-destruct yet,” he instructed the AI. “The Outlaws aren’t as antiestablishment as they’d like the press to believe. In their own way, they’re trying to take the Penguin down too.”

Not that they were doing a good job of it. They needed a plan, structure. A leader who didn’t fly off the handle and blow things up at the drop of a hat.

“Standby then, sir?”

Tim watched as Harper leaned in closer. Another figure stood behind him, just over his shoulder, but wearing a full-face mask as opposed to Harper’s goggles. He zoomed in and stepped back in surprise. 

It was an oni mask, grim and fearsome, and as red as the eyes of the man whose face it concealed. The thing was, he wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near this sector of space. In fact, if he remembered correctly, the file stated he was near Venus on the New Arkham penal colony, sentenced for a lifetime of hard labor in the mines for more murders than Tim had fingers and toes. 

Jason Todd. The Red Hood. 

What the hell was he doing here? 

Tim’s nearly obsessive need for answers had him sitting back down in his chair, eyes locked on the vid. “Yes. Standby and observe.”

---

Ghost ships never failed to give Jason the creeps. Death and him were old friends, but it didn’t make it any easier when the people bumping into him in zero-g never had a chance. An interplanetary gateway malfunction, Roy had guessed when they came upon the ship hanging in Neptune’s gravity-well. The large shuttle definitely wasn’t the type to travel long distances, and there wasn’t much out this far unless a person was readying to leave the system altogether. They were lucky the Starfire was of Tamaranean design, otherwise there would be no oxygen slowly filtering in from the docking port. This shuttle wasn’t the biggest he’d ever seen, but it was large enough for a good fifty or so passengers.

Where had it come from?

Jason pushed another drifting body away from where Roy crouched on the floor, the magnetic pull of their gravity-boots allowing them to stand still. “Seriously, let’s get out of here already.”

“Someone afraid of a bunch of dead people?”

“I see dead people all the time. You’re next if you don’t move your ass.”

Roy ignored him, entranced with the new toy he’d found drifting amongst the other detritus. “You don’t get it, Jaybird. This is DI tech. Drake Industries. We’re talking top-of-the-line, best of the best, tech here. It’s so expensive I can’t even afford it in my dreams.”

“You can’t even afford a new hat.”

“Go poke through the engine room. If there’s any charge left to those ion batteries, we’ll be sittin’ pretty for a cycle or more.”

Jason sighed as he wandered away. This was what he was reduced to, sifting through wreckage of dead vessels and scavenging for goods that would put food in his stomach and recharge the fuel cells on Kory’s ship. The last attempt to gain a foothold in the Federation had crippled the Outlaws more than the government likely realized, and it wasn’t just because they’d captured him.

No, even after his rescue by the two most incredible people he’d ever known, it all boiled down to one thing.

Money.

Well, money and information. Neither of which were in great abundance at the moment.

So here they were, out in the back of beyond licking their wounds and biding their time. Another opportunity to take a stab at the Penguin would come again. It had to, because otherwise, what was the point? What had he given everything up for if not for that one chance to make things right, better for everyone in the Earth Federation?

Not for the first time, an image of Dick flashed before his eyes and Jason shoved the thought away with a grimace. Fuck memory lane and fuck Dick Grayson. The past was the past and he’d more than learned from the mistakes he’d made there.

The engine room proved to have nothing but inert batteries, the charge to them utterly neutralized by the energies of a malfunctioning gateway. Jason shoved the last tube back into its casing and scowled. There went any chance of a decent meal unless he wanted to sift through the luggage in the hold.

Why the fuck not? It wasn’t like he had anything better to do, not with Roy still poking and prodding at that piece of DI tech.

The cold, dark air in the storage compartments made Jason shiver as soon as he entered. With all the pods, it reminded him of a tomb. In a way it was, as everything down here wasn’t needed by the people floating up above. Chances were likely all the passengers died when the gateway created the wormhole that sent them out here, but there might have been a few stragglers who slowly suffocated as the air ran out.

He got to work, switching on a light-stick to see by, and sorted through the luggage pods. There were a few promising items. Earth gems always garnered some decent creds outside the system, so the jewelry he found was stashed away quick enough. A silken robe he set aside for Kory, and in the depths of one suitcase, he found a stash of physical cred chips.

Maybe there would be some beef to add to his broccoli after all.

“Hey, Jay!” Roy called from above. “You down here?”

“Yeah!” Jason returned to the stairs so he wouldn’t need to shout. “The engine room was a bust, but you might want to check it out, just in case. Got a few things in here that might be worth something if we head over to Vega for the exchange.”

Roy clomped down the stairs, the pull on his boots against the metal making it ring with each step. “You won’t believe what this is.” He held out the thick, circular disc he’d been messing around with earlier.

“Something we can trade for a shit ton of creds?”

“Technically, yes. However, I think we might want to keep it.”

Jason frowned, not sure what his best friend was getting at. “Why?”

“Because this isn’t just DI tech. This is Drake Industries AI tech.”

Well now. Even he’d heard rumors about the kind of artificial intelligence DI was involved with. All military grade stuff too, the kind that required the highest of clearances to even be in the same room with it.

And now, here they were with what could be one of the most cutting-edge AIs in the system.

He sighed, not looking forward to poking through the bodies upstairs to see who it might have belonged to. “What have you done to it?”

Roy laughed, eyes a little wild as he slipped his shades back on. It didn’t matter that it was darker than the murk that constantly surrounded New Gotham, the man could see perfectly with them. “Charged the battery a bit. It was almost dead.”

“Are we gonna die if we turn this thing on?”

“Probably not.” Roy handed the disc to him. “At least, I’m 60% sure.”

Jason had lived through worse odds, but because he had a reputation to maintain, he still gave his friend shit. “Gee, that’s reassuring. And since you’re just so goddamned skilled at putting me at ease, I’m covering my face. The last thing we need is the Federation on our asses right now.” 

Roy shrugged and took a few steps back as Jason slid his oni mask on. It used the same lens technology as Roy’s shades. “Your funeral.”

“Yeah, it is.”

It wasn’t that Jason didn’t trust Roy. He knew in the coldest cockles of his heart that the man would never betray him. The problem was, his best friend was erratically brilliant and if what he said about this piece of tech was in anyway accurate, then they had a treasure trove of information and access into the inner workings of the Federation in their hands.

This was the edge the Outlaws needed to get back in the game. 

If he wasn’t, then chances were likely they were about to get fucked because that was the way their luck had been of late.

“Here goes nothing.” Jason pressed lightly on the activation sensor. 

The device illuminated and spun in his hand, glowing with a faint blue light as it hovered before them. A hologram appeared, about ten inches in height, of what appeared to be a human male. A rather attractive one at that, with fine features, sharp cheekbones, and an even sharper jaw. 

Whoever made the AI, they were definitely projecting a fantasy because no man could be that good looking. 

The hologram’s eyes narrowed. “I am TIM, designation 003-07-19. Who are you?”

Was that a bit of sass Jason’s ears detected? “Who do you think we are?” he asked instead, wanting to see what this thing could do.

A small HUD light up in front of TIM the AI. “Visual scans indicate Roy Harper, known as Arsenal, and Jason Todd, the Red Hood. Members of the antigovernment group the Outlaws.” Those eyes narrowed again. “Such an original name,” he muttered.

“Hey, who’re you to judge?” Jason shoved his mask up over his head because there was apparently no point in hiding behind it. With the light the AI was giving off, he could see just fine. “What kind of AI are you?”

“I am TIM,” the hologram replied. “Tactical Information Manager. Series 003-07-19.”

At least he answered direct questions. Why wasn’t he checking for clearance codes? Was this a private piece of tech rather than Navy? If so, whoever created this was a goddamned genius.

“Okay, TIM. Here’s the deal. We found you on board a ghost ship. There’s not a living soul out here except for me and Roy. You do what we tell you, we’ll bring you back to the inner ring.”

Eventually. Jason crossed his toes in his boots, a habit from childhood he never quite grew out of.

“My files indicate you are supposed to be on the New Arkham penal colony.”

Jason smirked. Looked like the government didn’t want to admit they’d fucked up and lost him. “Does it look like we’re on New Arkham? I don’t think so.”

“No, coordinates indicate we are orbiting Neptune.”

Looked like TIM’s data relays were connecting to the Starfire’s mainframe. Whether that was a good thing or not was for Roy to decide. Although, Kory would be pissed if they’d managed to fuck up her ship while she was undercover on the Titan.  “Yeah, it’s a real gas.” 

The humor was lost on the AI. “Did you escape then? Please tell me how so that I can update my files.” 

“Don’t think so, Timmy. If the government wants to believe they still have me all safe and sound in that hellhole, let them. It’s their fault they couldn’t keep me there in the first place.” Not that he ever made it there, but the AI didn’t need to know that.

“My name is TIM, not Timmy.” The AI sounded almost prissy. 

Jason leaned forward. “Your name is whatever I feel like calling ya.”

“Then that will make it hard to determine if you need my services or are speaking to the bots.”

“What the fuck kind of AI are you?”

“The best kind.”

--- Behind the HUD, the real Tim snickered as Todd’s posturing turned more and more into bewilderment the longer he bickered with TIM. Or maybe it was his makeshift uniform because who under the sun finds a man with an ice cream pin tacked onto his jacket intimidating? It even smiled. 

Still, this was a unique opportunity and one that he wasn’t about to waste. The Outlaws were working toward a similar goal as he and Oracle, even if they approached it from a different angle. How did that old adage go? The enemy of my enemy is my friend? 

Yes, he could make this work. Possibly even use these men to further his own goals and take out Armstrong. Wasn’t there a third person who was part of the main crew, a Tamaranean female? He’d have to check.

“The best kind,” Todd repeated, mocking while Harper snickered beside him. “Someone’s got a massively high opinion of himself.”

“Says the man who’s holding his life and jacket together with safety pins and duct tape,” Tim replied, and the AI repeated the words.

Todd’s face turned red and he pointed a gloved finger at TIM. “Listen here, TIM. I recognize DI tech when I see it. That shit’s top notch and so are you. And right now, you’re mine. So whatever backtalk you’ve got programmed into your behavioral patterns, forget it.” 

“I’m afraid you’re sadly mistaken,” the AI stated on its own. “Part of my programming includes the ability to verbally spar. My maker designed me so.”

Yes, and he was rather proud of that little fact. TIM was an extension of himself after all, designed to go where he could not.

“They programmed you to annoy the fuck outta people?”

“You are not my maker and I am not being used for my intended purpose. As such, anything I can do to complete my mission, I will.”

Harper whistled, low and slow. “Wow. I had no idea AI technology was this advanced. Those are subversive behavior patterns, right there.”

But Todd grinned slowly and held TIM higher. This close, Tim found himself face to face with a pair of stunning teal eyes, not red at all like the file stated. Were they his real color? He mentally smacked himself. Now was not the time to fixate on a pair of attractive eyes.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, I think we’re gonna get along just fine.”

The sad thing was, Tim was highly inclined to agree with him.

[reflectionsofacreator]

I tried to puzzle out how I was going to cover the ending, but like. I honest to god feel like I can’t break this up easily, and to break it up would lose the emotional inertia behind it all. This is the end for the Ezio trilogy, as well as the end of Altair’s story, and there’s a lot of emotional weight that comes with it. This isn’t as simple as just throwing up a couple screens, though I could do that. Another reason why it’s hard to break into bits is because there’s sections of this that are gameplay, with others that are cutscenes, and it’s just a really good mesh of all of it together, and trying to pick it apart would be very hard.

I’ve cried at least three times over this, and I’ll probably cry again. 

Ezio opens the door to the Library and walks inside, lighting the lanterns as he does, only to find that the bookshelves are all empty. There’s nothing inside, save for cobwebs and a ring of chairs, and the one farthest away seems to have a person sitting inside. 

Ezio: No books.... no wisdom... Just you, fratello mio. 

Ezio gets closer, and finds Altair’s skeleton, sitting in the chair, dressed in his robes of the Mentor. In his hand is a final Key, which glows with light as Ezio approaches. 

Ezio: Requiescat in pace, Altair. 

The last key lights up, and we are pulled into the memory of Altair speaking to his son, Darim. Masyaf is about to be abandoned, just as Altair said it would, and he is sending Darim away. Darim looks older, so I had initially thought this took place another ten years after the last key, but this isn’t more than a few months after. I guess Darim’s older model wasn’t used for the last Key, though I can’t say why. 

The Mongols are coming to destroy the castle and the people inside it, so Altair bids Darim to take his books away to the Library at Alexandria. Darim expresses confusion over Altair sending his Library away, only to realize that it’s not a library at all, but a vault for Altair’s Apple, and the secrets it contains. Darim asks, but Altair tells him not to worry, and to go be with his family instead. Darim hugs his father, and then speaks one last time. 

Darim: All that is good in me, began with you, father. 

The Vault door slides shut, and you guide Altair down the same path that Ezio just walked, and you put out the torches that you had just lit as Ezio. Along the way you hear several snippets of conversation between Altair and Maria, a couple of lines from Al Mualim, and some from Darim. After hiding the Apple, then comes the thing that broke me

You guide Altair over to the chair, with the knowledge that this is the last time you’ll ever get to control him, that this is his end. Fuck I’m tearing up just writing about it. It’s so like, visceral, because you know that this is the only place it can lead, but the game won’t advance until you do so. And so you guide him to sit, and on shaking knees and hands he settles himself down. Never to be seen again, until Ezio finds him two hundred and fifty-five years later. 

As you regain control of Ezio, the room gets filled with strange lights from Altair’s Apple, and you’re prompted to walk over to it. It begins to glow, prompting Ezio to take it, only for him to realize no, and say that he “Has seen enough for one life.” He begins to strip off his armor, his bracers, all the while talking to Desmond, as the room around him glows brighter and brighter. 

“Desmond?” “I heard your name once before, Desmond, a long time ago. And now it lingers in my mind like an image from an old dream. I do not know where you are, or by what means you can hear me. But I know you are listening.” “I have lived my life as best I could, not knowing it’s purpose, but drawn forward like a moth to a distant moon. And here, at last, I discover a strange truth. I am only a conduit for a message that eludes my understanding.” “Who are we, who have been so blessed to share our stories like this? To speak across centuries?  Maybe you will answer all the questions I have asked. Maybe you will be the one to make all this suffering worth something in the end.”  “For now... Listen...” 

Got it hurts so much for Ezio to admit that his life just... doesn’t mean anything in the grander scheme. That everything about his life was engineered and manufactured so he could be Desmond’s Prophet, and simply pass along a message. Ezio is the kind of character that craves a purpose in his life, that needs a directive, a higher calling, and yet his ‘higher calling’ was simply to give a warning that would come only into effect some five hundred years later. It’s the same shit that Altair faced, where he was building a message for someone, but never knowing who. 

Ngl I started just. Bawling. At this point. Because like -- that purpose he craved? Amounted to nothing, it wasn’t him that was important, just what he would pass on. Merely a link in a chain, who’s whole story would only be known by Desmond. How lonely that must be, to look at his life and accomplishments, and realize that none of it really mattered, that it was all some grand plan, just for him to be the conduit of a message. He’s been serving as Desmond’s Prophet all his life, only to be pushed out of the way so Desmond can speak with the person who summoned him. 

We are pulled into a strange, glowing place, with an old man speaking directly to Desmond, via Ezio, calling him “Cipher”. The man speaks of Minerva, of the Nexus of Time, and just... God there’s so much. This is finally getting some answers to what the hell kind of warning Minerva talked about at the end of ac2, with the sun flaring up and killing everyone. 

The man, named Jupiter, says that there were several different methods considered, and that it was his, Minerva’s, and Juno’s purpose to try and save the world from the impending doom. None of it worked, and we are treated to a cinematic of the destruction that is coming for Earth. 

It’s, quite simply put, horrific. Earth quakes, lightning strikes, fire and blood that tears apart the entire world. And it’s coming again. 

Jupiter says that once the earth quelled, and the fires were put out, “Less than ten thousand of your kind still lived... and far fewer of ours.” This is a reference to the Toba Catastrophe theory, which posits that 75,000 years ago, there was a massive calamity that reduced the number of human breeding pairs to less than 10k, and that all humans are descended from those that were left. The actual theory is controversial, and doesn’t really work in real life, but it works for the purposes of this story. 

Jupiter tells Desmond that he has to go to where they “labored and lost”, and find the way to stop this from happening all again. But he warns that he does not know how exactly this will all end, because he is peering though the Nexus of Time, and so therefore Desmond will have to be careful. 

The game pulls back to Rebecca saying that Desmond’s moving, and he slowly, slowly wakes up, to William hovering over him, asking if he can hear. Instead of responding, Desmond looks to his right hand, which glows Precursor blue, and says quite simply, “I know what we need to do.” 

Aaaaaand credits. 

God I’m still not okay. I think this is one of the more emotional endings to a story that I’ve seen, and I’ve played Shadowbringers. While I have a lot of issues with how Revelations is set up, and the narrative plays out, this is ... whoof this ending took a lot out of me. I was pretty inconsolable for a day or two. 

This is like, and Ending. It’s not just a continuation from one game to the next, the way that ac2 or Brotherhood were, this is like, closure and and wrapping up threads in a satisfying way. It hurts that Ezio’s been used like this, sure, but there’s still threads of a happy life ahead of him with Sofia. Adding in Altair’s story, while short and sometimes questionable, undoubtedly helped the entire narrative, and made everything tie together. It hurts, but it’s a good kind of hurt, a sort of good bye to everything that has happened so far. 

Revelations might be the one of Ezio’s trilogy that I have the most issues with, but it also I think is my favorite just for the sheer emotion that it pulled from me. 

Sorry I know this is a massive bit, and a hell of an ending to lump together, but I honestly didn’t know how else I was going to talk about it. 

[ripuels]

For @outreotter​ <3

(Another one that got way out of hand, also I haven’t managed to read over it mine soul is on Jupiter locked in a fridge sorry. Posting it as text under the cut because tumblr remains awful about my ask box~)

“If you're in some kind of trouble, you can tell me.” Christopher doesn't steer far from her hip as he welcomes her into the lounge room and she falls into the couch. 

“What makes you think I'm in trouble?”

The responding look is one of disbelief, he hardly has to be reminded who he's talking to. 

“Okay, okay sure. I'm avoiding someone, and your- the door wasn't locked, and I thought-” Amanda sees the incredulous synthetic stand opposite, arms folding across his chest, “oh my God, this was such a bad idea. I'm just- yeah, I'm gonna go.”

“Wait!” Samuels catches her with urgency, she freezes at the edge of the couch. “Stay, for a tea? I haven't seen you in a year, it's been odd to say the least, and concerning- the radio silence after all we've been through, and suddenly you're in my hallway, I- it would be nice, to catch up.”

She sits back down, nodding slowly. “Tea never hurt anyone. But just tea, then I gotta get back to work.” 

“Amy- Ripley,” he corrects himself as she flinches to a microscopic degree, “it's Sunday.”

She knows what he's getting at, calling her out on any reason to leave in a hurry. “Is it?” Her voice drags with a heavy sarcasm even Christopher couldn't miss. “I had no idea. Mostly because I've been working non-stop for about five weeks. Fucking staff cuts left us with half the crew and double the work, and I can't even complain because I'm one of the fortunate ones who still has a job. And-”

Samuels watches as she sinks comfortably into the couch pillows, ankle crossed over the other knee. It's funny that such a simple movement reminds him how flexible she is, especially her hips. 

“Sorry,” she groans and scrubs at her eyes, “that's exactly what I'm doing right now isn't it?” 

“It’s quite alright. I'm interested and happy to listen.” 

“It’s just, my whole crew was made up of contractors, once their time was up, they didn't want to bother renewing and The Company saw the opportunity to save some dollars.” Amanda huffs, “fuck all the rest of us I guess.” 

Samuels nods compassionately, pacing over to the kitchen to put the kettle on, leaning over his elbows on the bench. It's amazing how unique this synthetic has developed compared to all the others, since the breakup she had never struggled to speak to other Samuels units, though identical, she never saw his face in them. But him, Christopher, he could be standing amongst a hundred others and he'd be the sole blip on her radar. 

“You're obviously not easily replaced,” he means it in more ways than one, “maybe take it higher to HR, they could always steer you in the right direction. I’d be happy to help, if you needed anything from Legal-?”

Ripley smiles, pulling her hair over her shoulder and sliding her forearm behind her head. “Any excuse, you haven't changed a bit,” she laughs, definitely joking though not far wrong, “but I don't want to bug you for help. You've done enough for me after everything, and I already owe more than I could pay you back in years.”

“We had years,” Christopher says simply, fondly, an ease in his voice that Amanda can't tell is reminiscing or final. Or which one she would prefer it to be. “And they were good years. Consider your debt paid. However nonexistent it is.” 

She gently scratches her fingertips in the hair behind her ear, letting out a resigned sigh as he prepares a few mugs. 

“How long have you been back?”

“Two months.” She says with a hard stare. He doesn’t look upset or surprised by the fact that she hadn’t called around to visit, but curious. “I moved in with- with someone, in the hab units, y’know the permanent accommodation ones? By the bay. Nice view, but really quiet.” By that, she means lonely. “Figure I may as well set myself up if I’m going to be around for a while.”

“Oh, I see. Have you…” He starts, taking a moment to compose himself a little better, stripping the desperation out of his voice. “Have you found someone? Human?” He adds a little unnecessarily. 

After him? Hell no, she thinks. She had her shot at love, at life, at everything, and she blew it. What the fuck would she even do with a new lover but silently wish they were someone else? Someone in particular. 

“No, God no. I've just, been around.” She says nonchalantly, which isn't a total lie. A few dates, made a few more friends, he always said she needed more of them. 

“Anyone right now?”

Amanda doesn't mean to laugh, a little sadly, looking directly at him. “Always.” 

“Oh.” 

The synthetic doesn't seem surprised by the revelation, in fact, he doesn't look anything. 

“Dammit, Chris. Have you turned your emotional programming off again?” Amanda knows him, and knows he is smarter than to lie to her, so he stays quiet. “You're getting worryingly good at faking it. Even convinced me for a while there. Why the hell?” 

Samuels tugs his tie loose with a finger, a movement usually telling of his synthetic measure of anxiety. This time however, it looks more habitual. His face is icy, unbothered, his eyes relaxed under a numb brow. “I found it easier to function.” To cope. “How did you know?”

Ripley gets up and wanders to the other side of the bench, hands wringing at the edge of it. “Because this isn't you, Samuels. Even before you met me you were emotional, sentimental, and now you're just- just like all the others. But worse actually, because you're choosing to be.”

As if she hadn't spoken at all, he finds another subject. One he would experience an immeasurable amount of panic over had he been able to feel anything at all. “Did you ever find any more answers?” His controlled hand pours boiling water into two mugs. “To the whereabouts of Ellen?”

“No, and turns out I didn't want them anyway.” Amanda doesn't need to try to sound convincing. “It's a huge universe out there and I could look for my entire life, waste- my entire life, and not even get a net to the bottom. I'm finished. It's what she would have wanted, I think.”

“I believe you're right. It's what we all wanted for you. To find some peace.”

“Closure.” She smiles weakly and he nods. “I’m getting there. One step at a time. First things first, I still gotta settle into my new joint. Make it, I don’t know, comfortable. Like this place.” 

“You're always welcome to stay here. It is half your house too.” Christopher stops himself from saying home, something it hasn't been in over twelve months. “There is a spare room or two.”

“I couldn't intrude like that. You probably have a whole social group, a girlfriend, boyfriend, both, who knows. Feels wrong to kick your door down so suddenly,” she says, a little downhearted. The synthetic opens his mouth to assure her he absolutely doesn't, but she trudges onward. “Thanks though, Chris. I’ll keep it in mind.”

He resigns to nod, knowing first hand that corralling this woman never ended well in the past. “Offer isn't retractable, not that you won't let yourself in anyway. Clearly.”

Amanda takes her tea with a thankful smile, leaning on her elbows. The man across mirroring her. “Hey, yeah.” She rests the rim of the mug to her chin. “Why was the door unlocked?” 

“It’s silly, really.” He finally looks away, perhaps considering dishonesty. “I haven't locked it since you left, since I didn't know if you still had a key or not. I'm not sure what possesses me to do it, but I thought of this place as a safe haven of sorts, for if you ever need.” He finds himself looking into the face of a woman who knows her soul is being x-rayed. “Good thing too, came in as a handy sanctuary, from mysterious pursuers.” 

At this she rolls her eyes. “Okay, you got me. There wasn't actually anyone, I just wanted to drop in but something came over me. It was as if-” she takes a sip and shrugs, “it was just dumb.”

“As if what?” 

“As if- I was coming home I guess. I was just going to knock but before I knew it, I was standing in the hallway, and then you were there and, yeah, I panicked.” She finds herself smiling along with him. “You should turn it back on, by the way. Your feelings. It's not fair that I'm here all shaky knees and racing heart and you're just a slab of limestone.”

His face falls. “I don't think that's a very good idea.” 

“Why? What's wrong?”

Samuels straightens off the bench. “It just isn't.”

Amanda doesn't push. “Y'know, if you need someone to talk to, support, I'm here. I might not have always been but, I am now.” 

He thinks for a moment, remembering the times when his ex-lover would break down between his legs in the bath, against the wall of the hallway, when he came home to her tiny frame hunkered behind the couch, terrified, knife in her defensive hand and sweat beading on her forehead. She'd always let him be there, let him in, and he never allowed her the slightest room for guilt. 

It had been months since Samuels felt anything, since he became lost in processing grief, regret, anxiety. Why would she leave? How could she? Would she ever come back? But above all, could she ever come back? He knew Amanda would follow the trail until the end, whether it be of the line, or her life.

If he were to tune into all of that now, should the dam crumble, he doesn't think she should be around to see it. But if she leaves, it may be for good, truly, this chance as fleeting as her.

“Amanda, I- I would, but I haven't- not in a long time. I have reason to err on the side of caution, that it may not be something you want to witness.” Samuels' report is composed, even as he fidgets with the mug handle. “I have no clue what to expect, but suspect it will not be pleasant.”

“Keeping shit bottled up is only going to break you. I’m not going to push, but let me help you, if you need. Anything. No expiry date.”

Samuels rubs his hair back, disturbing the perfect form that somehow always defied not only the weather, but her playful tussling. He seems defeated by the fact that he has nothing to lose. “Could I-” he starts, placing his drink down, “Could I just trouble you for a hug?”

Amanda recoils, she doesn't know why her reaction is of surprise, not until she remembers where they stand. Square one. Or perhaps more accurately, not even on the same tile at all. “Yeah, course you can.” 

She takes the initiative to wander over and feed her hands under his arms, dragging them together tightly around his chest. Without hesitation he takes her around the shoulders. 

He hasn't changed a bit, still warmer than he should be, still wearing the same deliciously oaky cologne she brought a few Christmases ago. The one he wore because he was convinced he smelled of chemicals. Like new silicone baking trays. Amongst other things. And he still holds her as if she is vanishing before his very eyes. 

Now more than ever, she thinks. Even at her scariest, most dire moments, when his hand was the only thing holding her to the face of the Earth, he never squeezed so desperately. 

“Samuels,” she whispers, turning her face from his shoulder to nestle into the crook of his neck. His grip eases as if foreseeing the 'you're hurting me' or 'that's enough now' coming. “When was the last time you had a rest cycle?” 

“Since the morning.” 

“You sleeping every day now?” Amanda steps back hesitantly, her thumbs rubbing his forearms. 

“No,” he clarifies. “The morning I woke up and you were gone.” 

Her heart gives a punishing ache, but presented with the opportunity to make things right, she wasn’t going to screw it up again. “’Kaye. C’mon. Bed with you. Now.” 

“I'd rather be here. You're due to go to work soon and I haven’t seen you in-”

“Fuck work. You need me. You need somebody.” She wriggles up behind him shoves his waist forward. “Rest cycle for you, then if you want, I'll duck out and pick up some dinner. Maybe Italian and a bottle of wine, and if you're really lucky, or the wine is good, I'll stay the night. But only if you’re prepared to turn everything back on over dinner and we talk about this. Properly.” 

“Wait, you'll truly stay?”

She nods her head as he peers over his shoulder. “Couch or spare room. Or would you prefer I went home? Just figured, you might want the company.”

“No! No, of course I do. Please.” He's not even able to change out of his work suit before he's pushed roughly on the bed, the throw rug at the base is dragged up to his chin. Amanda at least unfastens a few buttons of his shirt and unhooks his tie. “What will you be doing while I rest? It'll take-” he seems to calculate, discomfort and disappointment falling over him, “four hours, twenty-five minutes.”

Ripley flops down the the bedside chair, pulling out her phone. “I'll just be here, for when you come to.” 

“Alright.” Christopher hums, rolling onto his side, his eyes fluttering closed. Looking as close to a dead battery as she had ever seen him, though physically at full charge. “Before I- I am out, I want you to know, I’m so happy to see you, Amanda.” 

“Happy.” She teases gently. “And how can you tell without-?”

“They’re already back online.” 

[thismads]

1-102 thanks

1.) what’s a song you depict with your childhood? Best of both world - Hannah montana PLS 2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet? yes my angels may they rest in heaven3.) have you ever been drunk? nope, alcohol is useless and stupid4.) have you ever tried drugs?  nope, drugs are useless and stupid 5.) have you ever completely regretted what you’ve said? nope I rarely does, even when i’m angry i’m honest and people that tells that you don’t mean what you say when you’re angry you always do, it’s  just that you’re more honest when you’re angry6.) have you ever made someone cry? yes, I selena gomezed my old justin bieber :D 7.) has someone ever made you cry? yes8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it. yes, and I knew it when I couldn’t feel my cheek from smiling when he only said hi 9.) which came first the chicken or the egg? chicken, next :D 10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them? nope i’m not a part of it but yes I support them 298456543256543% they are superior i said what i said 11.) how many siblings do you have? 1, this little shithead i’d b nothing without :D12.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love? yes13.) are you a good cook? ask @lordbieber he would ask me to cook for him all the time haha but fr I tend to be a good cook tbh14.) what is your favorite tv show? Buffy The Vampire Slayer15.) what is the last movie you cried during? Sleepers16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any) Anyone - Demi fucking goddess Lovato17.) do you have a middle name? Marie 18.) have you been out of your country? yes19.) are you a chocolate fan or not? DUH DOES A BLIND PERSON WANTS TO SEE20.) how many people have you kissed? a girl never reveal those ;) 21.) what is your favorite album? any P!nk’s old albums22.) what is your dream car? a porsche or Maserati23.) what is your lucky/favorite number? 624.) what is your favorite flower? roses and cherry blossoms25.) books or movies, why? books lmaoooo just because it’s superior, it comes from 26.) have you ever been on a blind date? yes thank you ophelie :D 27.) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you? DUH more than I could count28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends? never29.) what thing do you symbolize love with? hurting30.) do you have neat handwriting? nope 31.) do you have a friend with benefits? aaaaah lmao nope32.) do you want a friend with benefits? nope i’m too much of a helpless dumb and depressive romantic bitch :D 33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be? right now? toilet paper cause this shit’s gold these day LMAOOO jk but idk .. a star or a planet, as far away as possible form human kind34.) have you ever been blackout drunk? nope, hate alcohol, useless and stupid35.) have you ever met someone famous? Yes36.) how many concerts have you been to? 037.) which concerts have you been to? none38.) do you have a hidden talent? I exude dumb bitch energy for decades to come without anyone asking :D 39.) what do you do when you’re stressed? die lmao no but sleep or listening to music40.) do you think money can buy love? dunno i’ve always been a broke ass bitch :D 41.) how old would you date? up to 2 year older than me42.) have you ever done something illegal? yes43.) what is your biggest fear? spiders, horror movies and not being able to breathe44.) what is an unusual fear you have? fuits seeds lmaooo I hate those they creep me out lmaoo lemon seeds? HORROR MOVIE45.) can you drive? nope46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures? i’m here so DUH yes47.) do you believe in karma? yes and everyone should48.) what is one quality you need in your partner? loyalty, honesty and sense of humor 49.) do looks matter? yes, cause if the man looks like a hobo I won’t be too turned on lmao50.) does size matter? height speaking? yes. i’m 5′1 but other than that I mean we can manage ;) 51.) who is the last person you forgave? myself xx52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor? vanilla 53.) what languages can you speak besides english? french, and a lil bit of spanish and italian54.) ever been on a plane? yes, best time of my life55.) ever been on a boat? yes, worst time of my life56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t? nope57.) are there any friendships you regret? nope all of the people that are in my life are meant to be there and those who aren’t must not be there at this exact moment of my life :D58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make? duh.. where is madison beer 59.) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours? yes60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am? yes61.) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through? yes62.) are you scared of rollercoasters? nope not at all my biggest dream is too jump off a plane63.) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually? I’m not very stressed.. unless it’s school lmaoo but i’d say my peak is 2 64.) do you have any plans this weekend? It’s a quarantine time bebe so I plan on breathing which is already more than enough65.) do you miss anyone right now? yes66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now? aaaah secrets67.) if you could have any superpower, what would it be? controlling the 4th elements68.) who is your favorite superhero? Henry Cavill, yes he saves life with his accent and features I SAID WHAT I SAID69.) are you dirty minded? yes lmaoo soz xx70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s?80′s (my fave era about music) : Part time lover - Stevie Wonder &  Hotel california by the eagles / 90′s: Unbreak my heart : Toni Braxton / 2000′s: Lose yourself - Eminem & back to black - Amy Winehouse 10′s ugh there’s so many bops atm i’m 71.) how many kids, if any, do you want? 272.) who is your biggest OTP? Me and pasta73.) what is your favorite food? pasta74.) do you want to be married one day? Yes75.) dogs or cats? cats76.) do you drink enough water daily? Nope I don’t drink water on a daily77.) have you ever seen a shooting star? yes the most beautiful thing the life has given us78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you? fly me to the moon and let me play among the starssss YES I WOULD BYE WORLD79.) how many best friends do you have? I have a lot of good friends but @thisamick‘s my main bitch80.) when was the last time you cried? Idk I was watching Sleepers!81.) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself? YES82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed? Yes I did it was the funniest shit83.) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go? California 84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?  Loyal, funny and @thisamick said perfect but it’s all a lie so I’d say honest :D85.) do you consider yourself a loyal person? one of the most loyal person u’ll ever find86.) what is your favorite season and why? Fall, because the colors, the weather, the mood, the leaves on the ground, all of it87.) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it? nope never omg what a horrible move88.) do you know how to play any instruments? I wish but nope89.) do like like falling asleep to music or not? yesss omg my fave, a daily routine, a lifestyle90.) what are you allergic to? life and people91.) have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day just so you could see what there life is like? yessss92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be? yes I would def be Buffy93.) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why? Madison Beer or Angelina Jolie94.) are you outgoing? when you know me yes95.) have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but weren’t brave enough to? duh yes96.) are you a good flirt? tbh yes lmao97.) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down? yes and no at least I don’t think I ever did?98.) which planet is your favorite? Jupiter or Saturn99.) are you superstitious? no100.) are you a good listener? yes 101.) are you a good kisser? hun I leave a indelible mark baby ;) 102.) would you kiss any of your friends? girl friends? yes // boy friends? nope

[whoacanada]

Sailor Moon Zimbits AU - Part II

Listen, I love the idea of Sailor Moon AU but I don’t want to recap the entire first season so I’m just gonna play fast and loose with the timeline so Jack and Bitty get together as fast as possible :) 

LINK TO PART ONE POST

ALSO ON Ao3

Life goes on as normal, better than normal, because Jack’s finally chilling out, classes are getting easier, and Bitty’s crush on Tuxedo Mask starts to blossom into something far more tangible as they continue chirping, fighting, and flirting; until finally, one night, Tuxedo Mask stays close enough Bitty feels he’s being invited to touch. Bitty takes his chance, gives the man’s jacket a soft tug, pulling him down inch by inch until Bitty can gently press their lips together.

Bitty waits for the man to respond. Prays he doesn’t recoil in disgust or pull away angrily. And, no, Tuxedo Mask doesn’t pull away. Instead, he slides one hand into Bitty’s hair, holding them together as he brings up his arm to shield them from view with his cape. What was intended to be a chaste first kiss becomes a dance of cautious tongues, soft lips.

“I have to go,” Tuxedo Mask apologizes when he finally pulls away, pressing a last peck to the corner of Bitty’s mouth. Then another. “I’ll see you again very soon. I promise.”

“Gonna hold you to that,” Bitty breathes, staring up into his partner’s pale blue eyes. “Maybe you could even swing by when I’m not in mortal danger?”

That gets a laugh, Mask ducking his head and nearly losing his hat. “I’ll do my best. Until next time, Sailor Pie.”

With a rush of wind, he’s gone. Disappearing into the night like Bitty’s hopes of going to bed early. Oh course, Luna is waiting. Wide eyed, like she’s ready to give Bitty a stern talking-to.

“Nope.” Bitty vanishes his costume, bypassing his guide, practically walking on air. “Not tonight.”

__________

Classes are normal. Practice is normal. They’re winning games, which is fantastic, and Bitty’s finally feeling like he has some control over his normal life. Bitty’s world is perfectly fine, you know, except for the fact he’s still dealing with murderous monsters and a mysterious paramour who only shows up when his life is in imminent danger.

On the plus side, Bitty’s midnight monster-slaying sessions are now being followed by increasingly enjoyable make-out sessions. Like tonight, for example. The dust has barely settled on their battle with a soul-stealing cat witch, and Bitty is perched on Tuxedo Mask’s lap, palming at the man like a rowdy teen.

“You were beautiful,” Mask nuzzles Bitty’s throat, clutching at his waist as Bitty slides off his hat. The mask stays on. Just like Bitty’s costume stays in place. They haven’t discussed boundaries, but they’ve found them all the same.

“Kiss me again,” Bitty orders, nudging Mask’s chin up. He’s so handsome. So familiar.

“Always.”

The stay in the park for a little while longer, until Bitty’s lips are swollen and his pants are getting uncomfortable (not that Mask needs to know about any of that just yet). Bitty wants this all the time. He wants Mask in his dorm room, wants him in the stands at games, Bitty just really, really wants a boyfriend.

“You’re strong enough to face down the General sending these things every night,” Mask offers before they part ways, straightening his hat, adjusting Bitty’s hair. “You know you are.”

“I’m not sure,” Bitty hesitates. The sentiment is kind, but their whole relationship has been predicated on Bitty’s ability to not-handle most situations. “I can barely use the attacks I want, when I want.”

“Hey.” Tuxedo Mask rests his hand on Bitty’s shoulder, comforting, sincere. “Sailor Pie, you can do this. I’ll be right there with you. Just like always.”

So, fun fact, Bitty is actually not strong enough to face Nephrite alone, and for once Tuxedo Mask, for whatever reason, does not seem to have Bitty’s back.

“Oh, poor Sailor Pie,” the General taunts, summoning shadow tendrils from nowhere and thoroughly screwing any attempt at Bitty getting the high ground. “Nowhere to run? Here, let me help —” Bitty finds himself upside-down being lifted and crushed by the dark energy. Unable to escape, with a growing dread that no lame, last-minute interruption could stop this.

No one should be in Faber this late. No one should be able to hear Bitty getting his ass handed to him by Nephrite. He’s going to die, and things only get worse when Ransom, Holster, Shitty, and Lardo come running in from the locker room, gawping at the scene.

“Fucking what — “

“Don’t you hurt him!”

“Sailor Pie! Hold on!” Lardo yells, throwing open the gate. “We’re coming!”

“Run,”  Bitty chokes, grasping for the Moon Wand and any hope of breaking free. “Guys — run.”

“No escape,” Nephrite yells as the magical bonds trapping Bitty tighten. “You’re too late.”

“Don’t you hurt our frog you ugly fuck!” Holster shouts, enveloped in an orange-gold glow as he flashes the finger and shouts, “Venus Power, Make Up!”

Bitty’s vision is sparking but he’s still aware enough to see his orange clad teammate in a fighting pose when the light clears, fists raised and ready to rumble. “Listen up you Nega-dick, let go of him or, I, Sailor Venus, will rip your heart out through your dickhole in the name of love!”

“Sailor . . . Venus . . .?”

A flash of green, another of red, and one more of blue has Holster, flanked by three more scouts wearing familiar faces. They’re all wearing the same uniform, the compression suit, like Bitty’s, but Shitty is the odd-man out in a green skirt and knee high boots.

Lardo, in red, a tiara shining on her forehead, whips her arm out and yells, “The Soldier of flame and passion, I am Sailor Mars! Back the fuck off, bitch!”

Shitty steps up onto the bench, allowing Bitty to see his bare legs. He hasn’t shaved. “The Scout of courage and protection, Sailor Jupiter, is here to knock your fucking teeth in, bro!”

“With Water and Wisdom as my guides, Sailor Mercury will drown your chances of victory! Let him go!”

Ransom — Mercury —  sounds good. Very official. Maybe it’s the lack of oxygen, but all Bitty can think is, what does it say about him that he hasn’t been able to come up with a kick-ass one-liner introduction like literally everyone else he knows. Lord, he’s still going by Sailor Pie instead of Sailor Moon.

Darkness begins to creep at the edge of his vision as the others begin firing off elemental attacks. Then, head lolling, Bitty finally sees a flash of red in the rafters. Tuxedo Mask.

“You’re . . . late . . .” Bitty whispers.

“Sailor Pie!”

Everything goes black.

“— knew it. I knew Bittle was special. No human could make pies that good.”

“Sailor Pie, man. I thought it was just Jack fucking with us again. You think there are more?”

“Enough. We need to let him rest.”

Bitty clenches his eyes closed, the voices aggravating his splitting headache — all he wants in the world is to slip back into unconsciousness, but his two working brain cells start putting together the fact his secret identity isn’t a secret anymore, and his teammates know too much for him to play dumb.

“You know you aren’t our Captain all the time. We should be here when wakes up. To explain.”

“You’re so loud,” Bitty moans, trying to roll away from the noise only to be gently rocked back by large, familiar hands that coax him upright against his every silent wish. “Ow,” Bitty cracks his eyes open and finds Holster, Lardo, Shitty holed up in what appears to be Jack’s room, except there’s a familiar top hat and mask on the desk beside Jack’s calculus textbook.

There’s no way. This is a dream. A terrible trick.

“There he is,” Holster says, voice far too loud even as he’s trying to be gentle. “Thought you were toast for a minute, Bitty. Good thing Jack got there when he did or we might have lost you.”

“Not fast enough,” Jack curses from somewhere Bitty can’t see, and when he turns to look there’s no warning before a light is shining in Bitty’s eyes, making everything suck so much worse.

“Easy,” Ransom urges, his hand holding Bitty in place as he tries to get away. “You hit your head pretty hard.”

Bitty blink away, spots dancing in his vision, to find Jack hovering in the doorway, arms crossed, as stern as ever. Except, if Bitty wasn’t mildly concussed, he’d say his Captain looked almost upset. Guilty, even. (And now that Bitty knows Jack is probably pulling double duty as his secret not-boyfriend . . . )  

“It’s my fault,” Jack mutters, and Bitty knows a Zimmermann apology when he hears one. “I could have stopped this.”

“What’s with the selfless act, man? We were all there,” Ransom tucks away his penlight. “We were just as helpless as you.”

“It’s different for him,” Lardo says cryptically, giving Bitty’s foot a squeeze before rising to join Jack. “He has to be the fall guy on this one.”

“Can I have a few minutes alone with Jack?” Bitty asks. “Please?”

Though they go reluctantly, the room does clear, and Bitty is left with his overbearing, overdressed hockey captain, who is also, apparently, his midnight beau.

“So, it’s you?” Bitty tugs at a loose thread on the dark blue comforter trying to calm his racing heart.

“It’s me,” Jack agrees, knocking his heel against the floorboards. “And it’s you, too.”

“Was it all a game?” Bitty presses his palm to his temple as if the action will stop his head from throbbing as he slides off the bed. Jack’s bed. Tuxedo Mask’s bed. “The flirting? Pretending to care about me — Did you know he was me?”

“No.” Jack breathes, still as Bitty crosses the room to confront him. “Never. I didn’t pretend to do anything, and it wasn’t a game, I —” he swallows, forcing himself to look at Bitty like the act is painful. It probably is. “I had suspicions, but I couldn’t confirm anything. Not before tonight.”

“How do you feel? Knowing I’m . . . me?” Standing, Bitty can finally feel just how messed up he is. Everything aches. Even his hair.

Jack swallows, hand lifting as if all he wants is to touch, so Bitty obliges, leaning into his Captain’s personal space, allowing Jack to catch him. To hold him. Again, just like before.

“I don’t feel any different, you’re still you,” Jack whispers, cradling Bitty close, “Crisse, I told you to fight. You could have died.”

“But I didn’t.” Bitty whispers, wincing at his own voice. “I’m okay.”

The only response is a soft pressure against his scalp. A kiss. The sudden relief that floods him is better than any drug — Tuxedo Mask still likes him. Loves him, even. Now, maybe Jack can love Eric Bittle, too.

“You need to rest,” Jack holds Bitty steady, guiding him back to the bed. “The guys are going to keep watch while I take care of a few things with Hall and Murray.”

“You’ll come back, right?” Bitty eases under the covers, wincing. “We’re going to talk?”

“In the morning,” Jack promises, brushing the fringe out of Bitty’s eyes, expression unbearably fond. “When you feel better.”

The sheets smell like Jack. So does the pillow. It should be gross, but, Bitty kinda likes it. Before he knows it Jack is gone and everything is dark once more.

[chaniters]

The friend-zone.

This took me infinitely longer than usual to write. Mostly because Discord is so addictive. But I think the time paid off, re-reading it several times improved it so much. I generally fumble the middle of these stories in a rush to get to the sweet finales. So I guess I’m learning? I kind of feel somewhat more confident about  the end result. 

Enjoy!

-----------------------------------------------------------

THE FRIEND ZONE

You walk carefully through the large dark room, trying not to drop anything.

Hollow Ground, looms ahead of you, larger than life and ready for battle.

You keep walking towards him... until you find the right spot, sliding into your seat on the left row. You pass on the popcorn and sodas to Elyse and Anathema.

Now more relaxed, you lay back, taking your seat, as you watch rapid clips from many of the Ranger’s previous movies cycling through the screen until the Producer's logo comes out from a collage of them.

Anathema Is still watching some video about kittens in his phone, while Elyise still talks to her girlfriend, giggling in a way more befitting of a young teenager.

"Hey," you say  "It's about to start!"

"Oh.. right," Anathema says putting her's in airplane mode. Elyise finally hangs up and smiles to you.

And then, the movie starts...

------Some seventh art magic later--------

You walk out, feeling bit sick. Maybe you ate too much sweet popcorn... Why do they make the buckets so large?

"Well, I'll go first... I didn't like it much..." Anathema starts. "...it's just not a very good follow-up to the Eldritch movie"

"Well duh, Eldritch was... Eldritch. A great and interesting villain makes a better movie than an ensemble of random evil guys. Eldritch took all of us to defeat in the end, remember?”. And it could have killed us all, you say to yourself. We were lucky. 

"You think so?" Elsyise asks. "I kind of enjoyed it. Seeing all the different powers and abilities facing off against each other."

"I guess it's subject to debate" Anathema concedes.

They go ahead while discussing the movie. Your thoughts lie elsewhere.

You always watch movies like this along with Ortega and Themie... And now you've kind of replaced him with Elyise. You fucking miss him. 

She turns at you.

Oh shit.

You let your shields slip for a moment and she noticed you're thinking about her and Ortega.

She says nothing and goes back to talking to Anathema.

You walk him off to his bike and say goodbye as he sets off through the streets.

"So" Elyise finally asks.

"Sorry" you begin before she does. "I keep thinking about Ortega and that fight..."

"I'm intrigued. Steel had a point. Why didn't you join the Rangers already? You and Ortega are very close... Even after that fight"

"I... " you look at her. What lie can you possibly tell her? "I don't... trust the government enough to join them" you say at last. That's not really a lie.

Her eyes widen for a second at your honest response, and then she smiles.

"That's wise," She says with a bitter smile. "No telepath ever should trust them," she says walking onwards.

"W...why?" You ask, your shields raised into impenetrable barriers.

"You're too young to know about it... Back in the day when the first of us... telepaths ... gained our powers... there was a big scare in the media. They demonized us. Some of us had gone public... and suffered for it. The government just rounded us up. And took us to camps and labs... there were... experiments."

Fuck. You know all too well about it.

"That's terrible!" you say "What... happened then?"

"I was lucky. My parents had money... they sued big time. They had to release me in the end, but most who take the hero drugs are desperate, and they had no one outside. There was never any record of them being taken either." She looks much older, tired and sad as she speaks about this. "You know... I still look for some of them... In social media. I haven't been able to find a single one yet." Her eyes are bit tearful."

"It's.. over," you say "They can't hurt you now" You are not very good with words... but you have other means. You can't help it. Your shields open and you brush your mind against her... offering her some comforting thoughts.

You used to do this... when they weren't looking.  And so did your brothers and sisters. It's how you survived.

She gasps as she realizes what you're doing. Blocking and negating her fears and terrors... "THat's... that...." She takes your wrist  "I don't know how you can do those things. I thought I was a strong telepath... I've had these powers  for 20 years and I can't manage something like that"

"It's not so hard..." you smile. "Just... follow my lead" It's tricky teaching her these things. But you're good enough to play the game and hide your cards at the same time.

Her mind observes as you do it a few times... brushing thoughts against people around you. Leaving them with a sense of peace and stupid nonsensical smiles. Sometimes you wish you could do that to yourself...

And then... she attempts it herself. Slowly at first... until she manages to reach the superficial layers of a woman passing by, causing her to smile briefly.

"What the... I did it!" she is overjoyed.

"Told you it wasn't hard!"

"What? That was the hardest thing I've ever done!"

She’s not wrong... without someone showing you how to do it beforehand, you’d probably fry people’s brains and hurt yourself in the process if you tried. 

You roll your eyes. "I think Jupiter would beg to differ."

"Telepathy is the hard part you smartass."

"Hey, I can't toss motorboats at enemies!"

"Sure can... you just ask me!"

A couple passes looking at you and laughs.

“Oh fuck. More people thinking I’m your cougar mamma... Let’s go already” 

You just chuckle. She jokes about it, but she’s quite self-conscious. Oh well... you're not one to judge her. 

Your phone rings, startling you. Anathema made you buy it some time ago, but you almost never use it.

You fidget with it, trying to turn it on

It's Ortega.

You let it ring a few more times, while your mind decides what to do. Elyise stands patiently.

"Hello there" you say in the end

"Hey Cyrus" his voice sounds a bit hesitant. "I was wondering... can I meet you somewhere?"

You doubt for a moment.

Fuck.

"ah... sorry... If you're busy then maybe..." He starts again.

You take a deep breath.

"No. I'm not busy. It's ok. Let's meet"

You agree to meet in a bar, not far from where you're standing. Just a few blocks.

"Ooohh... you are meeting him tonight?" Elyise is guessing who he is... but it's not that hard to guess. She knows how hard it is to get your number.

"Yes... we are meeting. Not far from here actually"

"Well, what are you waiting for? I'll walk you there!" she grins. "I was wondering when were you two going to make peace."

You sigh. "Yeah... we are friends... it's about time we make out" She just snorts walking ahead as you realize what you just said.

"Make up! Make up i mean! We're not going to make out!" you try to correct but it's no use

"Of course!" she says laughing as you reach your destination. She turns to you, and gives you a strong patt on  both of your shoulders "You go in there tiger... and you make out with that man, you hear me?"

"I didn't..." you start

And she turns dramatically looking at you over her shoulder

"French-style" is the last thing she says as she walks away laughing towards her own ride.

You smile. She knows how to make you laugh.

THere's no loud music inside, and several pool tables. It's decent and has some good food.

He shows up a moment later.

"Hey," you say a bit awkwardly.

"Hey, you" he answers. You stand apart... 

"About the other day..." he starts. He’s also feeling the awkwardness, grabbing his elbow across his body tightly with his right hand.  

"Yeah... that was... bad..." you say looking down

"I mean... I'm so..."

"No... I am." You say it first. Let’s make this painless

"Hey, that was my line!"

"Yeah... but... I'm not happy about that argument...either"

"Well... I'm sorry too. We shouldn't have let you out of the loop, you were part of the mission too. Sometimes Steel gets too muddled up in the rules."

"I know... but still I  shouldn't have asked you to go against him. You're the Marshall"

"So... we forget about it?" He asks extending his hand

"Yes. Forgotten already, Ricardo" you shake hands, and he draws you into a hug.

"Darn. Should have called you sooner. We could have seen the movie together"

"It sucked. And I should have called you first"

"It's in the past. Let's go in!" he says, his bright smile flashing again. You avoid it like the plague. 

You talk. You play pool. You have some drinks. You're being careful not to activate any of his or your triggers, and thus he doesn't make another move on you this time. He's just grateful you're hanging out again. And you are as well.

Now if you can just manage to maintain this chemistry... he'll hook up with someone else soon enough and you'll be in the clear. It's all about knowing how to keep the balance.

A few hours later, you are leaving together. He had a few more drinks than he should, so you agree to drive him home. You can take a bus there.

"Put on your seatbelt, safety first," you say as you adjust the mirrors. "We should invite you to one of that safety on the road campaigns they make us do" he chuckles “You’d look swell in the posters!” "Well, if it pays, I'll do it," you say. "But the mask stays on" "Not sure if they can send you a check if they don't know your true name" "So we're not doing that then" you grin. "I have to tell you... you're the most paranoid, neurotic, unreasonably suspicious person I know..." "Oh, I just know what's best for me" you smile as you take a turn. 

Odd... your mind feels there are several bugs around. Did some insects get inside the car? You feel them flying towards you. You look around but don't see them. 

He bumps your arm lightly "You sir, are a loon. But you're my kind of loon!" "You're a crazy maniac yourself" you chuckle. You are happy. Success. You're plot worked, and you’re back in the friend zone. You just need to remember to never overstep the boundary again. Ricardo’s your best friend, after all you’d be lost without him.

You can't help it... you swat at the air around you.

"Is there a bee in the car?" you ask out of the blue. He looks around, a bit bewildered. If there is, Drunk Ortega won't be able to see it. "I don't think so?" he says in the end.

You stop at a traffic light. This is getting weird. You focus your thoughts, looking for the bee. Bees. Eight bees. All focused on you. And then you realize... they aren't inside your car. You look at the car next to you.

"Ortega.. what the fuck is that?" you look in disbelief.

The driver on the car next to you wears a trenchcoat and a hat... and its eyes glow burning yellow. IT's face isn't human... but robotic.

He turns. "Wha...” he takes a brief look before almost jumping in his seat “START THE ENGINE RIGHT NOW!" Ortega utters you.

"But the traffic light is...."

"Forget about the stupid traffic light! Get us out of here!"

You start the car, accelerating as fast as you can.

And then you hear the shots. The things in the car behind you are shooting.

"Just keep going, this car is bulletproof!" You take a turn, trying to avoid them.

"What are those things?"

"It's HIVE" he says as if that explained it all. "I mean they are HIVE."

"Wait... are those the bees?"

"Yes. HIVE always attacks in numbers! Keep going!"

You ignore the following two traffic lights. Another car joins the one already pursuing you, shooting energy weapons and bullets at Ortega's car.

You keep trying to outrun them...

And you don't notice the car coming from your left and right. They drive forward, ahead of you, trying to force you to slow down.

"They are going to catch us!"

"Not if I can... help it!" Ortega opens his window and you notice a discharge from him. The driver on your left explodes in a rain of sparks, overcharged, and its car goes out of control, crashing into a small flower shop. You take the chance to turn left now that it's not blocking you.

"What the fuck are they? I only sense bees inside them!"

"Rogue robot network, controlled by Bee's brains! It's my Nemesis!"

"What?! How come I’ve never fucking ever heard of it??!"

"It's a secret government project... and it was destroyed! Hood And I defeated Hive back in the day!"

"It seems pretty Healthy to me!"

And then you sense it... bees... so many bee brains.

"Fuck they have us surrounded! they're coming from all sides!"

"Can you evade them?"

"I'll try,” You say with little confidence. Fuck. Ortega is the better drive... if only he hadn’t had so many drinks...

More cars full of robots come into view.

You try to get in between them... but they turn at the last moment causing a crash. The airbags burst in your face, leaving you winded.

Something tears down the door on your side and a robotic arm struggle to pull you off, but the seatbelt gets in the way. You shoot at it with your energy gun, sending it into the ground. Another one inmediately takes it’s place, pulling the gun from your hand. It then unbuckles the belt and pulls you down onto the pavement, face-first.

You stand up with difficulty. They approach with their glowing yellow eyes. All of them wearing the creepy trenchcoats and hats, disguising their metallic bodies. You see Ortega fighting them off, he's good enough to do it even while drunk. And his electrical arcs are good excellent weapons against them. Several are already broken on the floor.

One of them charges.. and you try to block his fist, but the kick to your gut takes you unprepared, sending you down on your back.

You have no idea how to predict a or read a bee's brain.  You try to stand up again, but another one sends a metallic fist to your face that makes you see dotted colors.

Two of them take you by your arms and drag you away, your arms and legs refusing to cooperate.

"Cyrus! I'm coming to you, Cyrus! Hang on!!" you hear Ortega's voice in the distance, as the robots toss you at the back of a ban and start the engine.

Someone runs a hand through your face... what...? You look at them and immediately regret it.

"Oh hello, again you sweet sweet funny man!" The CandyMaster greets you. "We're going to play so many games together. It will be so much fun!!"

What. The. Fuck.

You open your mouth to scream.

His hand covers it before any coherent sound can come out of it.

"HHMMHGGFFRHFFHG!!" You scream for someone to help you. Anyone. This one gives you the fucking creeps.

He widens his gaze as he activates his power. You feel the crystal candy expanding inside your mouth. Sealing it shut. You can’t even spit it out. 

One of the HIVE robots takes hold of your hands and locks them with handcuffs.

"Now now, don't be rude! Eat your candy or there will be a ...punishment!" he chuckles giving you a smile with his shining white teeth that is just the stuff of nightmares.

The overwhelming sweetness in your mouth wants to make you throw up. But you can’t even do that. 

You try to enter his mind... but It’s so warped...  It will take a while to get to know how it works. 

The ban drives off through the dark streets of Los Diablos' suburbs.

-----------------------------

My fanfiction: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[forzalando]

Keeping It Professional - Remus Lupin | Part Three

hello friends :) I am super excited about where this fic is going! please enjoy part three :)

Y/N: Your Name Word Count: 1138 Warnings: language!!! 

permanent tag list: @thoseofgreatambition @thephelpstwins @hermione-who @siriusoricns @yourslytherinprincess @moonlitdiggory @wutheringweasley @weaslcywheezes @starlitfawkes @themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy @fcavalerro @sskidizzle

KIP tag list: @chlxv @acciorinn @ihatenewusernames @the-apple-princess @peachyypotter @madformoony @emi-loser @kazzish @coolepowersthings @whompingwillowy @magicalydelicious @thomas-queen-hiddleston @dedellia @blackloveangel13

Remus tag list: @weasley--girl

(if your name has a strikethrough, I wasn’t able to tag you! let me know if you would like to be added to a tag list!)

Part 1, Part 2

“Lily,” you cried out, stumbling a bit over your feet as you searched for your best friend, “you have got to try this drink I made. It’s fantastic.”

After Sirius had left you alone feeling confused and pissed off, you downed the drink he had handed you and walked straight to the makeshift kitchen bar to pour yourself another.

“Y/N, what the hell?” Sirius asked as he successfully steadied your stance before you toppled to the floor. “I leave you alone for a half hour and you go and drink half the liquor cabinet. How many drinks did you have??”

You turned around and smiled while holding up three fingers, which caused Sirius to bust out laughing.

“Oh, good, so you didn’t drink an entire bottle, you’re just a lightweight. That makes this a little better. Are you alright? After your spat with Remus?”

“I don’t want to think about Remus,” you mumbled. “He hates me and I have a crush on him the size of Jupiter, but it’s fine, I’m fine.”

“Y/N, love, he doesn’t hate you, I swear,” Sirius said as he placed a comforting hand on your cheek.

“I don’t care; I want to forget about him. Let’s dance,” you shouted as you grabbed Sirius’s hand and led him into the living room.

You slipped one hand around his neck and had the other clutching your drink, occasionally taking sips and offering some to Sirius.

After countless songs and a few more drinks, you and Sirius were dancing wildly, along with everyone else at the party. More people had eventually arrived, and it finally looked like the rowdy college parties that you and Lily were used to.

You could hear Sirius laughing in your ear as you danced with him; his hands on your hips guiding them to the beat of the music while your arms were clasped around his neck. Your eyes wandered around the room and eventually landed on Remus standing off in a corner.

He was watching the two of you; you and Sirius, and although his stance was rigid and sober, his eyes held sadness and longing.

Remus’s gaze made your stomach do flips and your mind lose focus on everything around you except him. Your movements stalled and you quickly left Sirius alone to escape Remus’s eyes.

You found refuge on the back patio yet the breezy night air did little to calm down the redness of your cheeks or the bubbling feeling in your tummy. You slumped to the ground and placed your head between your knees, willing the nauseous feeling taking over your body to go away.

Suddenly, you heard the door open behind you. Expecting it to be Lily, you began to drunkenly ramble on about your night.

“Well, Lily, while you were off making googly eyes at chemistry boy, I was, once again, being treated like shit by psychology hottie. I’ve never known an adult man to act so childish, especially when I have done nothing wrong and I…and I…I think I’m going to throw up.”

You leant forward and felt the familiar lurching feeling in your abdomen while one hand gathered your hair into a ponytail and the other rubbed soothing circles on your back.

After emptying the contents of your stomach onto the grass in front of you, the comforting hands lifted your body off the ground and carried you bridal style into the house. Your eyes remained closed; the energy it would take to open them at that moment wasn’t worth it.

“When did you get so strong, Lils,” you slurred. “We work out together, how come I’m not reaping these same benefits? ‘ts fucking bullshit.”

Your savior chuckled, the warm vibrations lulling you into a trance like state as you ascended a staircase.

“I wish I didn’t have a crush on Remus,” you whispered. “He totally hates me. Probably thinks I’m too young and immature while he’s the one acting like a child. Men suck. Except chemistry boy, he really likes you. And Sirius. He’s fun. I wish I liked him instead.”

You felt the softness of blankets and pillows as the pair of arms gently laid you down. You curled up into the fetal position and sighed; breathing in a familiar and calming woodsy scent that you just couldn’t place.

“Goodnight, Lils,” you whispered as sleep began to overtake you.

Once your breathing slowed and soft snores escaped you, your savior gazed longingly upon your peaceful form before slowly closing the bedroom door.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Remus whispered.

He had barely taken three steps down the hallway when a drunken Sirius stepped in front of him.

“You,” Sirius snarled as he poked Remus’s chest, “are the dumbest person I’ve ever met.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Remus huffed as he tried to walk away.

“No, no, you’re going to listen. Stop fucking walking, and pay attention. That girl, is a sweet girl. She doesn’t deserve how you’re treating her because of some brilliantly fucked up solution you’ve concocted in your head.”

“You don’t get it, Sirius, I could lose my job. I could lose my scholarship, which would jeopardize my degree. You don’t get it.”

“What I get is that you’re treating her like she’s nothing.”

“I just held back her hair while she vomited and tucked her into bed, Sirius, she’s not nothing.”

“Oh, right, so helping her while she’s drunk, and thinks you’re someone else, just lets you off the hook, is that it? You know she thinks you hate her?”

“Yes, she might have mentioned that while I was carrying her upstairs,” Remus sighed sadly.

“Look, I’m not asking you to risk your job, your scholarship, or your degree, I’m demanding you start being nice to her or I swear you’ll regret it.”

“Why do you care so much?” Remus asked cautiously while eyeing his friend.

“I don’t want to see my best friend act like a royal dickhead and hurt an innocent girl because he can’t control his feelings, you absolute moron.”

Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and looked sheepishly at the floor. In his desire to keep you at arm’s length, he had gone too far and hurt you, which was the last thing he would ever want to do.

“She likes you, you know,” Sirius said matter-of-factly.

“I know she does. She mentioned that too.”

“So, why don’t you just tell her? I’m sure she would understand your situation.”

“It’s more than just the ‘situation’, Sirius, I’m not good for her. She deserves better.”

“I think that’s up to her,” Sirius retorted.

Sirius shook his head and sighed before walking past Remus to enter his own bedroom. Remus descended the staircase in order to spend his night on the couch, while you slept soundly, and unknowingly, in his bed.

[sagaciousfchuzzle]

Do ALL of the Space asks!!!!

dOhhh noooooooooo, whoever could this beeeeeeeeeComet- What are you currently frustrated about?

Hahaha oh boy. Mostly how fucking stupid I was not doing internships when I had more of the chance and instead chose to go back home every summer. I really, really appreciated it at the time, but whenever I look for wildlife jobs now I just feel so underqualified and completely unprepared. I was stupid and some friends who will see this will never let me forget it.

Black Hole- What are you most afraid of? 

At this moment what I’m most afraid of is not being able to get a job in my field and not being able to make some kind of meaningful contribution to conservation and stuff.

Galaxy- Do you have any nicknames? What are they? 

Uhhhhhh, Plum/PlumPlum, Mr. Sneeze, Coah; I think that’s about it?

Star- What song(s) do you feel describes you?

Fffffffuuuuuuuuck, um. Okay so I wasted like 3 hours trying to find good ones so let’s just go with these:

Natalia Lafourcade’s Mi Tierra Veracruzana (specifically this live version)

Nujabes’ Spiritual State.

Wind of Departure/~Setting Off Wind~ from Monster Hunter 4.

Baths’ Yeoman, a wonderfully queer musician.

Pogo’s J’Adore Juin, though it breaks my heart that Pogo is an MRA idiot.

Moon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?

Oh god, sadly not. I still have some Discworld books to read but I don’t want to be done-done with the series as a whole. ;_;

Planets- If you could go anywhere, where would you go? 

New Zealand, Japan, South Korea, probably.

Mercury- Describe your aesthetic. 

Earth tones, rustic looks, organized messes, wildflowers and pine trees, hearty food and warm blankets on a cold and cozy day. 

Venus- What’s your favorite tv show? 

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm honestly maybe Parks & Rec? Or Steven Universe. 

Earth- If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you want to be?

On one hand I could be Chris Evans for a day but on the other hand I’d also want to be someone STUPIDLY RICH so I could give tons of money to me and my loved ones, and I wouldn’t want to do that to Chris Evans. Probably the latter, just someone super rich whom I don’t care about.

Mars- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change? 

Haha um. Maybe my penchant for sweet things. Or, y’know,my metabolism/weight.

Jupiter- If you had to pick one color to use for an entire week, what color would you choose? 

This is a joke right? ‘Cause anyone who knows anything about me will know the answer is Green.

Saturn- How far would you go for those you care about? 

Very far.

Uranus- What would you say is your greatest achievement? 

Fuck me man, I don’t know. I think being considered someone my friends can trust to talk about shit with.

Neptune- Describe yourself in one sentence. 

Hi I fiercely believe in there being a right and wrong and tend to not suffer those who choose the latter; that being said, I am a goof who loves puns and even though I can be snarky as hell I secretly prefer it when people are even more snarky back to me and put me in my place, because it’s fun to laugh, even at yourself. 

Pluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet? 

Terry Pratchett, author of the Discworld series (and many more books besides!).

Constellations- If you could have one talent, what would you want it to be? (can be magical or not)

>Magical or notOh man. Okay so if I want to be broken I’d say absolute control over time, so absolute that even fi I create paradoxes it isn’t an issue. Alternatively, something I’ve always thought would eb cool was to either:Be able to teleport as far as your eye can seeorAny time you’re going down a street or sitting in a place or whatever, and for some vague reason it reminds you of some other place you’ve been to (so you drive past a street called Railroad Avenue, but you know of another Railroad Avenue in another town, or you’re sitting in a park and smells like your grandparents’ backyard), those two places become ‘linked’ and you can freely teleport between the two vaguely similar locations. You can’t like… consciously force the linking though.

Asteroid- When you die, what do you want to be done with your body?

Cremated, spread over some nice wilderness, maybe with a tree.

Aquarius- What’s a topic you enjoy learning about? 

B I O L O G Y   &   E C O L O G Y

Aquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?

I feel like these are apples & oranges? Like books are more of a solitude thing to enjoy by yourself, but movies are great to share with people.

Aries- What is something you enjoy doing?

Telling myself I’m going to get back into drawing, and then not. c:Alternatively, coming up with tabletop rpg plots and never using them.

Auriga- If you had to pick one villain from any media, who would you rather have to face and why?

The Nightmare Knight from Cucumber’s Quest, because spoiler reasons. 

Bootes- If you could have any animal, wild or not, fake or not, which would you want?

G R I Z Z L Y   B E A R .Or maybe a feathered serpent like Quetzalcoatl.

Cancer- How do you want to be remembered? 

Someone who, despite his extraordinarily sharp wit, was kind and cozy.

Canis Major- How many friends do you have? 

Lots man. 

Capricornus- What’s a song lyric that you relate to? 

Honestly I’m having a hard time with this one. I guess from Hey Rosetta! we’ve got two:From their song Kintsukuroi:Oh see inside of me lay the heels of your hands upon me and let your fingers fall bless these broken bonesmake it whole, make it better than it was before make it better than it was before! 

and their song Dream:couldn’t we make, couldn’t we make, couldn’t we make itjust like we wanted, just like we need itwhy can’t we, just like a dream?

who says we can’t. who says we can’t, who says we shouldn’twho says we couldn’t, make it just like we love itwhy can’t we, just like a dream?

Cassiopeia- What’s your favorite quote? 

I guess, “The blood of the covenant of friendship is thicker than the water shared by the womb” ‘cause that’s the first one that came to mind.

Cygnus- If you could go back to any time period for a couple days, when/where would you want to go?

I think to November a couple years back, or to some time last winter. There’s some stuff I could at least try to fix.

Gemini- Do you have any siblings? How many?

Just one older brother.

Leo- If you could change the way any movie was made, which movie would you change?

Honestly probably Kubo & the Two Strings because it had so much potential but the second half of the film seems so…………………. so boring compared to what they could have done with it.

Libra- If you could talk to your past self, what would you tell yourself?

Bitch stay in Alaska and do an internship.

Lyra- Would you rather be feared or loved?

Feared by strangers, loved by friends & family.

Orion- What’s your favorite type of weather?

Brightly sunny with some scattered clouds, but none-the-less it’s cold & crisp. Or it’s night time with moderate rain and wet streets.

Pegasus- What’s your favorite music genre? 

Fuck man there can’t be just one. Jazz, Classical, pseudo….electronic-ish stuff???, soundtracks, etc.

Perseus- What’s your favorite movie genre?

Action/Adventure or Comedy.

Pisces- Describe someone you love without saying their name.

She’s Saint Francis incarnate, and not just for the animals. Even when people hurt her she will always take the higher path, and I know she has a better moral compass than I do. She’s wise and snarky and loves working the earth with her own hands (Hint: it’s an aunt of mine).

Sagittarius- What do you do when you don’t feel well? What do you eat/drink?

If you’re talking about a cold or something what I tend to do is fill a kettle to the brim and heat up a ton of water, then basically chug tea all day. Specifically chamomile or maybe a lemon tea, but both with some honey. That tends to help me recuperate faster.

Scorpius- If you had to pick someone to betray you, who would you pick?

Probs my friend Owen, ‘cause he’d be the easiest to ignore. 😂

Taurus- What makes you feel comfortable?

Eating food with friends, telling stories and jokes, good music on drives long & short, telling truths and sharing feelings, going to sleep exhausted because I actually did stuff during the day.

Ursa Major- If you had to pick any job to have, what job would you want? 

Savior of all Ursus-kind. Or like raising abandoned bear cubs which would be super sad but also super heartwarming.

Virgo- What do you value the most- artistic ability/creativity, musical ability, athletic ability, intellect, or work ethic?

I think I respect work ethic the most - you may not be the most capable, but you’re being honest & earnest, and like a teacher of mine said in the past, “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”

Neutron- Are you more of a leader or a follower?

Honestly I’m happy to be a follower unless there’s no leader or the leader is incompetent.

Supernova- How do you feel about yourself?

Kind of unhappy, for the reasons mentioned in Comet. Kind of annoyed at how it feels like I’m procrastinating on starting my own life, whether that’s intentional or not. 

Supergiant- What’s something you like about yourself? 

People have told me they feel comfortable talking to me about issues and stuff and I really, really like that I can be that kind of person for my friends.

Red Giant- Would you get into a debate/argument with someone if you heard them saying something you disagree with or know to be wrong, or would you stay silent?

It depends. If they’re just talking with their own group and I’m not going to be stuck near them for hours, then I can just put headphones in, but if they’re making someone uncomfortable or something, I’d step in. I’d also step in if it was an honest mistake.

Red Dwarf- What’s your favorite smell? What smell makes you feel most comfortable? 

Pine trees I think. I loooooooooooooooove the smell of pine.

Protostar- Give a random fact about yourself.  

I finally beat Dragon’s Dogma the other day and I was scared I was going to be disappointed because I already kind of knew about the existential take it…. takes, but it was a blast and wonderful and amazing and I think everyone who likes rpg’s should play this game and Grigori is a huge…. sweetheart, of sorts.

[nailriddenbat]

You don’t care

Summary: You won’t let anyone get in the way of a perfect grade, not even Steve Harrington.

Requested by: Anonymous ; What about one where the reader and Steve meet on the first day of college, maybe Steve gets really smitten and tries to use his 'method' (like what he tells dustin) but the reader just won't have it

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Tags (PLEASE message me if you want to be added to the permanent tag list for any fic, especially if you already asked and I forgot!): @thegirlwhoisintoomanyfandoms @la-fille-en-aiguilles @jj-writes-shit @thebitterbookeater @with-a-hint-of-pesto-aioli @richletozler @royalwolfhard @just-smile-darling @w-ingardiumleviosa @buckysmaingir l@magic-and-timetravel  @jupiter-leo @ttrraasshh @somekryptonitewriting @dudee-what @tmalchow @hedabucky @wallacetdog @twelvedacrewoods @mikeygc3000 @stressedoutkylo  @istanuriss @anevenstrangerblog @scintillllating @dylanowhyyien @daniimiss @xguardiangel  @me-a-hopeless-romantic @negroneon @sweetheartmendes @goimaginethiss @madhatterweasley @cupcaitlyn96 @onlyalittleteenwolfobsessed @poets-are-sinners @harringtonhuddle @kingkenzieo @ssweet-empowerment @blackhawklove @harringtonwife @lola-winston-harrington @im-disgustingly-vain @alwaysmebeforeyou @kinghairington 

You two had been paired up to be partners in history class. The professor had walked in with a smirk, announcing loudly that the person to your right was going to become your “best friend” during the duration of the semester. And if for whatever reason you two hated each other and wanted to rip each other’s hair out strand by strand, he politely asked that you held back while sitting in his class. Too much paperwork for him to fill out, apparently.

You weren’t going to have that problem, though! Steve Harrington was incredibly sweet. You two exchanged an awkward smile on that first day but when he had asked to borrow an extra pen (you had five pens on you that day), the awkwardness slipped away. He handed back the pen after class but you insisted that he kept it for the rest of his day and he thanked you with a grin.

You two made pleasant conversation before the second class. It was wonderful! Your history class was right before lunchtime and you two even made plans to get a quick bite to eat afterward. You learned a bit about his hometown, he learned a bit about yours and you two shared some jokes!

About two weeks went by and you had fallen into this routine with Steve. Greet each other in class, make jokes during class, and get lunch after class to discuss the recent homework assignment and what would be the possible history project. You felt comfortable knowing you had made a friend in college. It made you feel even better that this particular friend was cute and charming.

Then it all went to shit.

Steve stopped asking you for pens and would lean over to Jessica Groves so he could ask her instead. When you would ask him if he wanted to go grab some lunch he would shrug his shoulders and say, “I guess we can go.” That continued for an additional week before his answer went to being an outright ‘no’.

Steve would not look at you. Steve would not talk to you. Why, though? What had you done that was so horrible? Maybe you pressed him too much to learn about his life back home. Sometimes people wanted to leave that in the past. Maybe you had said something unintentionally and pissed him off. People didn’t take well to that.

Or maybe you hadn’t done anything at all and Steve Harrington was not so sweet at all. Maybe Steve Harrington was just another asshole, like all the boys you had left back home. Yes, Steve Harrington was an asshole and you had no time for that. 

Midterms rolled around and you could not believe you were halfway through your first semester of college. Before handing out the graded midterm exams, your history teacher handed out a thick packet on the final history project, which accounted for 25% of your final grade. That was a whole quarter! After the class had ended you turned to speak to Steve but he was already halfway out of the door. You scrambled to grab your things and ran after him, shouting, “Hey! Harrington!”

He turned around after you had chased him down the halls for three minutes and you stopped, waving the packet in his face.

“Yeah? What about it?” he asked.

“We need to meet up and get this started,” you dropped the packet to your side, staring up at him. “Are you available now? We can go get something to eat then head over to the library.”

Steve shook his head, “Nah, sorry. No can do. But I’ll catch up with you and we can start it up!”

Before you could argue, he turned and continued walking down the hall. You sighed and shook your head while muttering underneath your breath, “Why do I even bother?”

Steve hummed to himself as he walked away, his books tucked underneath his arm. “You don’t care, Steve. You don’t care.”

The project was due in three weeks. You had done all that you could on your own but that was very little. You needed help and that stupid boy in that stupid Member’s Only jacket would have to help.

You knew that he had Biology last on Friday so you waited outside of the science building. It was freezing out but this was your only opportunity at catching Steve off guard. 

Soon enough, you saw him push the doors open and step out of the building. He was laughing with someone else but you stepped forward, saying his name sharply, “Harrington!”

He looked up at you then turned to his friend to mutter, “I’ll talk to you later, man.” He stepped over to you, nodding his head as he greeted you. “What’s up, Y/N?”

“What’s up? Our project,” your voice was clipped and you made no effort in holding back your attitude.

“Yeah, I know. It’s due soon,” he nodded his head.

“Yeah! And we’ve made no progress on it whatsoever! We’re meeting at the library tomorrow morning, eight AM sharp, and we’re not leaving until I say so,” you began to shout.

“Eight in the morning on a Saturday? What are you, insane? I was going to sleep in!”

“Fuck your sleeping schedule!” you cried out. “Look, you were really cool when this class first began. I felt like I had a friend or something but you turned out to be just another douche who’s obsessed with nothing but his looks and girls.”

He took a deep breath and stepped closed to you, keeping his voice low, “You’re wrong, Y/N.”

“No, I’m not,” you shook your head quickly. “I’m not wrong. I don’t care if you want to treat me like shit. That’s fine. This project is worth twenty-five percent of my grade, though, and I am not going to accept anything but an A so you better be in that library tomorrow or I’ll...” You weren’t sure what you would do, so you took a deep breath and stormed off suddenly. You had said what you needed to say. The ball was in his court.

Steve watched you walk away and he ran his hand through his hair, sighing out of frustration. “This not caring thing isn’t working out,” he whispered.

You looked down at the watch around your wrist. It was 8:03 AM. You looked up at the books you had gathered that could help with your project. Steve was nowhere in sight. You sighed and pulled over one of the books, flipping it open. You would work on the project completely by yourself and would try your best.

Ten minutes later, a small cup of coffee was placed in front of you. You looked at it before picking your head up slowly.

“Who knew that coffee joint would have such a long line this early on a Saturday morning?” Steve grinned down at you as he sipped on his own cup.

You took a deep breath and then looked back down at the notes you had been jotting down. “I thought you wouldn’t show,” you said shortly.

“Yeah, about that...” Steve sighed as he pulled out the chair next to you. You didn’t look up at him until he cleared his throat and said, “I’m not the person you think I am and I need to make that clear.”

“Oh really?” you finally looked up at him, arching your eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” he said softly. “That’s how I was in high school. And I stopped that shit because I didn’t like who I was becoming. So I apologize for acting like that.”

“It’s fine. I just want to work on this project and get it over with. Then I’ll stop bothering you,” you cleared your throat a bit, shrugging your shoulders as you looked back down. 

Steve reached out to touch your wrist softly and you looked up at him. “You’re not a bother, Y/N,” he whispered.

You pulled your wrist away after a while. The tension fled from your body and you pushed a book over to him, starting to explain what you had done so far. He listened carefully and started to work immediately after you finished talking. While he leaned over one of the books, you sipped on your coffee slowly to hide the smile that had crossed your face.

You held your breath as you stood outside of the classroom. Steve had volunteered to get the graded final project from the Professor’s desk after class had ended and you were waiting impatiently.

Steve walked out slowly, his eyes down at the paper in his hand. 

“Well?” you asked him. “What did we get?”

“Y/N...” Steve shook his head slowly, looking up at you. 

Your face fell and you felt like you were ready to throw up.

“We got an A,” Steve smirked and held the project up to you.

“An A?” you snatched the paper and stared down at it with wide eyes. “We got an A!?”

“We got an A! I told you we would pass!” Steve started to laugh.

You shouted out loud with excitement and threw your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Steve exhaled and wrapped his arms around your waist, spinning you in a circle.

“I can sleep in peace!” you sighed when Steve put you back on your own two feet.

“You can sleep after dinner,” he chuckled. “Let’s go out tonight.”

You looked up at him and felt your breath catch in your throat. You pushed the stray piece of hair out of your face as you asked him, “Tonight? Dinner?”

“Yeah,” he nodded his head. He took a deep breath, kicking at the ground a little bit with the tip of his shoe. “As a celebratory date. Or just dinner if you don’t want it to be a date.”

“A celebratory date,” you whispered to him. You nodded your head quickly, “I want it to be a celebratory date.”

Steve looked up at you and grinned a little, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you laughed a little and backed up slowly. “Eight o’ clock sharp? Don’t be late this time!”

“Eight o’ clock sharp. I won’t be late,” Steve smiled over at you.

You continued to back up before turning around, disappearing into the crowded hallway. Steve remained standing outside of the classroom and sighed happily, saying to himself, “You care, Steve. You care a lot.”

[wanderer-of-sol]

Wanderer of Sol - Business Chapter 3

Chapter 1 here,  Chapter 2 here

Chapter 3

Next on the docket was to stop in the agricultural district of Sacra Fossae. Wanderer had heard from a local contact and botanist, that the crops were doing less than favorably. The region was under more and more pressure to supply produce for the whole of Mars, ever since Ceres stopped their production as an agricultural pillar to their neighbors. The Jovian Uprising some decades ago had a profound effect system wide. And while Jupiter and her moons won independence, the sudden war had bankrupted several near by planetoids, and the repercussions were felt far and wide, like ripples in a pond. Now Mars was on her own, and while her citizens wouldn't know it, there were many local witches and wizards fighting to keep her afloat, and do their best to keep another stone from sinking in this pond.

“Hey, guys. We'll be landing in five. It should be a pretty chill deal.” Wanderer's voice echoed over the ships intercom. “Munin, you blood free yet?” he asked just before the doors to the pilot's cabin slid open.

“Yeah, yeah. Next time we get into it like that I'm going to borrow one of Robin's welding aprons.” In strode the punk, fresh from her shower, towel draped over her shoulder, and not much else. “Does this town even have a landing pad? Seems more rural than we normally do.”

“There should be on the other side of those hydroponics towers.” Wanderer tried to ignore the fact that Munin's breasts were about a foot from his face, as she leaned down to adjust some controls, making his maneuvering easier. “And Munin, I know it's a chill job, so armor isn't necessary, but you should probably put your tits away before we land. You'll freak out the locals.”

“You know you like it, you freak.” Munin teased, sitting on his lap and wrapping her damp towel behind his neck. “Even knowing what I am, you still like it.” She licked her lips. The ship swayed to the left abruptly before correcting back to it's intended path.

“Munin, I'm flying.” Wanderer gave her a look that said “As much as you're right, this isn't the time” and Munin just let out a chuckle.

“Pfft, fuckin' mammals are so easy to fluster. I'm going to go see if Robin's done with her book. If not, I'll snap her out of her trance. She's more fun than you anyway.” Munin told her captain, hopping off of him and prancing down the hall towards the common area.

Minutes later they were on the ground and meeting in the cargo hold.

“Hey, Robin. You know it's hot out there right?” Wanderer inquired, taking note of the silken scarf she was suddenly wearing. He obviously knew what had happened, but if it wasn't apparent enough, Robins stuttering response and the grin on Munin's face was evidence enough that she had left marks on her victim. Wanderer just told Robin not to sweat it, and he was just poking fun.

The crew walked down the loading ramp to be greeted by a peculiar looking man, even for Mars' fashion. He wore layers of dust and dirt covered coats, with mud caked slacks and boots. His hands protected by thick green gardening gloves, the cuffs of which were traced with embroidered flowers. He wore a hand trowel on his hip like a pistol, and adorned a bandoleer of pockets, filled to overflowing with various seeds and soil supplements. His freckled and unevenly tanned face was framed well by his oversized glasses, capped off with a traditional witch's hat, that's cone was slumped over to the side, just a little. And of course the hat matched his gloves, in both color and floral embroidery.

“Wanderer! I'm so glad you could make it! Just in time, as always, just in time!” The green witch said with a kind of frantic tone to his voice that Wanderer had come to expect. Jackal had always been the nervous type.

He walked up to Wanderer and shook his hand vigorously, taking it in both of his gloves, before turning to Robin and doing the same.

“It's good to see you too, Robin. Very good, glad you could make it. And, ah, and who might this be? I don't believe we've, um,  met before, Ms?” He said looking between Munin and the others rapidly, fishing for an answer to the stranger.

“Jack, this is Munin. I think she was indisposed last time we were in the area.” Wanderer introduced his crew mate to the strange little man. Jack's eyes met Munin's as they shook hands and he stuttered out a “Y-yes. Yes you are. Good. Good to meet you.” He swallowed “Munin.”

“So how are things, Jack?” Wanderer interrupted whatever was going on between Munin and Jack. Leaving people like them to stare at each other for too long could be dangerous, and, like Wanderer said, they had deadlines and business to conduct.

“Oh! Things are not good, Wanderer. Things are terrible. Absolutely terrible. I can't even begin to explain how things are going. Crops are failing. I tried various rituals, but it was like Mars herself just couldn't sustain the fields, which scientifically speaking should be improbable, because our hydroponics system gives the plants calculated quantities of specificity blended nutrients, and optimal water and light.” They were walking and talking now as Jackal turned somewhere in the first sentence and started pacing away.

“So, ruling out the mundane, and with substantial confidence in my own spells, I knew there must be something else. I turned to those books. The old ones you brought from Earth, last time you visited. I thought I found a rite that could be used as a template. I just had to tweak it. For Mars, because it was designed to commune with the spirits of Earth's gardens. Oh, I can't even begin to explain it Wanderer. I'll have to show you. I'll show you, and it'll make more sense.” He continued with a bullet train of thought, as they approached what looked like an abandoned green house. It was missing panels on the roof and some walls, which the resulting holes had been covered up with tarps.

“Well, we'll help however we can, Jack. Just show us the problem.” Wanderer tried to take him down a notch, from near hysterical to mildly panicked.

“Alright all.” Jackal stopped at the door to prepare them. “Please be respectful and remain calm. She's vary weak and I don't want to frighten her. I've been having a hard enough time keeping the farmers from looking in here.” He told the group while fumbling with his keys, and unlocking the door.

As the green house door slide open, all were met with the reflection of golden eyes in the shade of the covered roof. She was laying in a nest made of hay and soil sacks. Her skin was like adobe, smooth and curved, but her ribs presented themselves on her heavily breathing bare chest. Her hair was curled and colored like the rolling dunes of Mars, draped like silk, down to her feet. She was beautiful, but obviously distressed, as she slowly turned her head away from the group standing on her threshold.

“Ma'am, I've brought visitors. I think they may be able to help you. Please, may we help you?” Jack beckoned into the solemn room.

“What the fuck did you do?!” Munin was visibly upset by what she saw in the room.

“She's been like this since I found her. I preformed the rite and she came out of the soil. Came out like this, and she looks half starved. I summoned her to ask how I could help her, but... But I don't think I'm strong enough to hear her. And I don't know how to return her.” He explained to Munin, but really he was begging for her understanding. Munin had no time for his excuses as she pushed him aside and strode into the building.

“W-Wait, you can't just go in there.” He protested, half out of reflex.

“You dare to tell me where I can and can't go, Jackson Anna Elizabeth Connors?! Jackal of Seven Fields?! Plow and Trowel Jack?! Fuckin' leave us while I figure out your fuck up, Green Thumb Jack!” Munin's fury alone was enough to knock Jack off his feet as he stumbled backwards, only to be caught by Wanderer's waiting arms.

“I-I'm sorry, Memory, my dear, sweet Memory. Please, go right ahead. Please. I'm sorry.” He muttered clasping his oversized gloves over his mouth, as Wanderer steadied him to his feet and the green house door shut before him.

Time passed in relative silence. Munin could be heard talking quietly from time to time, inside, but no one could really understand what was being said. Wanderer and Robin tried to get Jack to relax, but he was shook and in shock. Munin can have that effect on people, especially people that feel like they're about to die. Which is another effect Munin has on people.

“I think I've done it Wanderer.” Jack broke the silence. His face was still in his hands, his gloves removed and laying in the dirt beside where he sat.

“Done what, Jack?” Wanderer asked, quietly.

“I've done the worst thing a green witch can do. I-I think I've killed my goddess.” He began to cry. Robin put her hand on his shoulder as she sat in the dirt with him.

“You didn't do anything like that, Jack.” She tried to reassure him, but honestly didn't know. She didn't work with gods. Electrons and the spirits residing in circuitry were more her thing. Possibly the furthest thing from the nature worshiping witch that sat beside him.

“I did Robin, I did. I did... I wasn't getting results trying to commune with her with divination, or terramancy. My scrying told me nothing. Not a thing. So I figured I'd invite her here in person. Ask her in person. She's like a fish out of water, and I'm holding the rod and reel.” He was beginning to sob as he slumped over onto her shoulder.

Wanderer sat down with them, offering a hand on his back and comforting words. “You're a farmer, Jack. Not a fisherman. Just wait, Munin will figure this out.”

“You're fuckin' right I will.” Munin said opening the door behind them. Jack nearly fell over and scrambled away, and would have if it weren't for Wanderer and Robin holding him in place.

“So, I just got done talking with her. She's not exactly your goddess. She's Sacra Fossae, or the spirit of it. If you worship Nature and Mars, she's like an angel, or something.” Munin explained “She can't talk because she's severely parched and exhausted. What kind of libations did you give to her when you summoned her?” She seemed to have cooled off a little, now that she had an understanding of the issue.

“Um, I, uh. I offered cakes and, and, some whiskey. Just like the book suggested.” Jackal stumbled over his words, still intimidated by Munin, but he got there eventually.

Munin crouch down to meet eyes with him “Jack, you gave hard liquor to an overworked agriculture spirit that lives in a desert?” Her question was intended as an answer as a wave of realization washed over Jack's face. A moment later he was up and digging through a box containing gardening tools to retrieve an ornate watering can, engraved with flowers and trees. He rushed to a near by hose, filled the can, and reached into his various pouches and pockets, sprinkling the contents in and stirring the mixture with his fingers. Almost stumbling over the green house steps, he hastily entered the building, as Munin stepped aside and started walking back towards their ship. Wanderer and Robin could only just hear what he was whispering to the faint spirit.

“Sacra Fossae, my dearest Sacra Fossae. Please forgive my foolishness. I'm truly and deeply sorry for my ineptitude. Please accept this offering and allow me to help you.” He begged honestly and sincerely. She seemed to accept as he bowed his head and handed her the can. She drank of it and cleared her throat.

“Sw-Sweet Jackson. I always knew you meant well. Your nature goes hand in hand with mine. I'd happily accept your help.” She smiled kindly at him. Wanderer and Robin could practically feel a weight lift off his shoulders as they listened in.

“Anything. I'll do anything you need, Ma'am.” He told her, clutching her hand.

“Could you... Get me something to eat? I'm starving, and Lady Munin informs me I have to eat while in this mortal human form.” She seemed almost embarrassed that she herself didn't know this. Jack scrambled to his feet and promised to be right back, as he rushed past Wanderer and Robin, making a beeline for the community kitchen, nearly bumping into Munin as she walked back towards the green house, carrying a bag.

“Here you go Sacra.” She said, taking something out of the bag as she walked back into the shaded portion of the greenhouse. “You're going to have to wear some clothes while you're in this form, because humans freak out if you show them your bare body, for some reason. And you have a really nice body, if you don't mind me saying.” Munin was already going for it.

“Oh... Thank you!” The nature spirit smiled happily at the compliment as Munin helped her sit up and put on the gown that was brought to her.

“You'll be fine once you get some food in you.” Munin reassured her.

Robin looked a little jealous as she adjusted her scarf. Munin was in her element. Wanderer was reading a book he had brought with him.

Chapter 4 here

[guacameowle]

Jihyun Route: Another Story - Notes

Below the cut are the notes of opinions & thoughts I wrote down as I was playing Another Story. It’s below a cut because it’s very lengthy; I think it came out to over 8400 words. I certainly don’t expect anyone to read all of it, but I had a few people ask for me to do this, so here it is. Some of it is more in-depth analysis, most of it is probably nonsense, a lot of it is me thirsting. 

Everything written is what I was thinking at the time something happened in the moment of playing the game so you can see how my theories/emotions of the game progress day by day. I did not go back & change anything I wrote after finishing the route. I haven’t even gone back to proofread it yet, so my apologies for ridiculous errors or confusion. 

The notes are broken up by days & then by endings (I’ve only completed good & normal endings so far). Obviously, this text will be loaded with spoilers. I apologize if you’re on mobile & the cut doesn’t work & you have to scroll past this horrendously long post.

I’m sure some of what I’ve said here will be controversial, but I’m not here to argue with anyone or create discourse; this is just a means to express my opinions & lingering curiosities about some aspects of the route.

I by no means disliked this route. I very much enjoyed it for all it’s drama, twists, emotional upheaval, discoveries, & Jihyun’s sexy sexy voice. 

Prologue

Like hell am I answering any of these calls.

Whyyy are you so obsessed with me?!

Omg they give you a 'call the police option'?! Iconic. I’m doing it.

I AM CRYING LAUGHING. I BAD ENDED & MC GAVE NO FUCKS. Just went home to order some chicken wings. A legend. SHE COULD NOT BE BOTHERED TO GIVE A FUCK. Honestly, that is my true ending. Ultimate true end. This is how my story would have ended if this happened to me in real life. Except I would have gone home to a tub of ice cream. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Excellent start to this update. She honestly just disbanded a cult & got dinner afterwards like it was no big thing. Boss MC.

Ok I'll do the prologue & play naive now.

Oh. A blindfold. KINKY~.

MC better be prepared to die because she just willingly let herself be kidnapped. 🙄

DAY ONE

The new music is so so nice. That violin concerto - so beautiful. I need sheet music.

That bedroom at Mint Eye is essentially my DREAM room. Wowza. So much pink! Yeah yeah, Ray, I’ll play your game as long as I don’t have to leave that bed. Ever.

Fuck. Ray is wearing gloves. FUUUUUCK me right up. GLOVES!!!

CATCH MY ASS FLIRTING WITH JUMIN ALL DAY ER’DAY. I told Juju I wanted to hear his voice. I’m so thirsty.

Jumin released a quote book. It probably has great lines like, “Yaaaaaa” or “What is fried chicken?” … I’d buy it. Will probably turn out to be the best trilogy I ever spent money on.

“Mankind is born lonely.” (Call Ray after 00:00 chat). This game just got deep as fuck. I’m not ready for that kind of existential commentary at midnight on day one, ok? Let’s chill. I came here to talk to cute boys/girl, not mull over how mankind was doomed from the start.

Zen is already basically horny & ready to rumble if you tell him you called him in the middle of the night because you were thinking about him & honestly that already makes this a fantastic update.

I’m glad we got a little more context on how Yoosung had a random friend who joined a cult & tried to recruit him. Solid tie-in, Chertiz. Bravo.

JUMIN PREFERS FULL-BODIED WINE. FUCK ME RIGHT UP. THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY.

Yoosung, you’re breaking my heart. I want to comfort him so bad. Everything is still so fresh & he’s so frustrated. He’s going to be an emotional rollercoaster this entire route. I can feel it. Deep in my bones.

“You should be asleep." BINCH. Then why did you call me?!

Ok, day one is almost fucking over, where in the mint wig hell is V?! This is supposed to be his route, right? I’m fixing to start answering for Ray in a hot minute if Pastel Princey doesn’t show up pronto.

ZEN IS SUCH A NARCISSIST & I LOVE HIM FOR IT. “I wonder what I’d look like wet.” Me too, send a selfie quick. Please. I’ll beg.

I can’t stop flirting with everyone holy crap I’m probably going to bad end. I don’t even know who I have the most hearts for currently…

DAY TWO

Why are the longest chats in this game at 2 in the damn morning?! Cheritz, please…

Have I mentioned I really like V’s new sprite outfit? CAUSE I DO. It’s an excellent style. That coat with the pin on the lapel is perfect! Mmmhmm.

Also, V’s sprite’s body language seems pretty important to me. That arm wrapped over himself & holding his other arm feels very closed off. He’s the leader but he’s curling in on himself. Yes, by now we know he has secrets, but this almost feels like he’s unsure of himself for other reasons. Maybe I’m reading too much into it.

In a call V says the dark sky was taking over the moon but then in the next chat he says he couldn’t sleep because the moon was too bright. WELL, WHICH IS IT? I am betting that "bright moon" was probably just a lamp. Flip the switch, V. Turn it off & go to bed.

Aye, Jumin went to a foreign university. I want to know where. Have it ever been said how many other languages Jumin knows? I know he goes to New York & China for business a lot, so do we assume he takes translators with him or that he knows enough of the languages to get by? I’m so curious.

HOW V & JUMIN MET IS THE CUTEST SHIT I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE OMGGGG. Jumin calling the insurance company about a toy car. Stop I can’t. I love him so much.

LITTLE JUMIN IN SUSPENDERS OMG I AM SCREAMING. That mini suit is probably bespoke Armani. Damnit.

V & Drunk!Jumin talking about their friendship is going to make me cry.

Jumin talks about almost being kidnapped on multiple occasions as if it were just a minor inconvenience of his day. “Ran out of pancakes, almost got kidnapped, crashed my toy car…”

Yeah yeah Ray. They're AIs. Sure. Uh huh. Totally believe you.

HOLY SHIT. Seven got a major equipment & set up upgrade. Someone tell me he posted to r/battlestations ?!?!?

Ray said he's going to try to tame me with food & honestly I am not opposed to this. He found my weakness so quickly. BRING ME ICE CREAM! STRAWBERRIES! CHAMPAGNE! Ask Jumin to make me some pancakes, I liked those.

Whoa dang. Zen's "sleepy but maybe gonna lose my voice" voice is 💦💦💦💦

V in that robe. 👀👀👀 ((Lynn, why are you like this?))

The first recommended party guest is a vampire (who could pass for Eros Katsuki Yuuri in a cape). I love this silly game. You think if I told Jumin that the 'Twilight' series was really a documentary he would believe me?

So Jumin confirmed he doesn't have siblings. That's actually one of the lingering questions I had about him. I’m glad he & V found one another at such young ages then. One could argue that they’re like brothers.

I am going to say it - I think Yoosung needs to meet with a licensed professional on a set schedule. He has no outlet for these emotions he's feeling & fears being badgered by RFA members when he does express himself. I feel so bad for him, especially knowing, as the player, that he was right all along to question V & the lack of evidence on Rika's supposed suicide. The RFA chatroom is not a safe space for him. Yet on the other hand, he’s being very selfish in wanting the others to grieve the same way he is. This is a very complex character bit about him.

Jaehee continues to be wary of me nonstop… but is 100% convinced that Seven is inviting the actual planet of Pluto to this party. ::looks directly into the camera::

Now Jumin wants to invite an actual bowl of udon. ::looks harder into the camera:: (If these were the guest recommendations Rika got, no wonder she left.)

JAEHEE CG. CRITICAL HIT. WOMAN DOWN. “You look tired.” JuMIN! No! “You look tired…” LyNN! NO!

I think I’m going to bad end if I don’t stop getting Jumin’s hearts… but I can’t help myself. I am a weak weak woman.

Why in the hell is this chat called “Party at Saturn” but then in the chat we talk about Jupiter instead. False advertising!

I could listen to V’s voice all day. That is S I L K Y ~

Ray is reaching obsessive level status. This boy just attaches to anyone that’s remotely nice to him, doesn’t he? I’ll admit, I went into this route but really liking Unknown. He irritated me. I knew he was tormented & abused, but he was not a good man. Ray though, seems really sweet. So are we to believe sometime between now & the two years into the future something happens to him that just causes him to snap & no longer want to be nice?

DAY THREE

Zen is saying “lmao” a lot.

“There’s a perfect medication for that. It’s called… BEER. LMAOOOO.” Zen is just me in college. Confirmed.

Ok so this route has some of the prettiest CGs I have seen in this game. I am loving them.

IT IS 4AM CHERITZ. I DON’T NEED THESE EMOTIONS FROM SAERAN TALKING ABOUT A POTTED PLANT WITH TWO STALKS & ONE OF THEM GROWING WEAKER. GODDAMNIT. I’M GOING TO CRY. OH SHIT HE BUSTED OUT THE CRYING EMOJI. BE STRONG, LYNN.

If this boy doesn’t get some sort of emotional help & redemption in this story I am going to be so so upset.

(Call 707 after “Paradox of the Survival of the ____ Chat) Did Seven just pull a “BITCH WHERE?” joke on me when I called him sexy?!

V's dad is a vampire. Look at that guy. Jumin, don’t look him in the eyes.

TEENAGE ANDROID ZEN!

Jaehee’s "jet pilot" convo had me dying. What kinda Space balls + Monty Python convo was that?!?!

This slow mellow piano melody (I guess V's theme) is very lovely. It makes me sleepy in a good way. That gentle crescendo in the middle with the chimes gives me chills.

CHOIR BOYS JUMIN & V!!!! HOW PRECIOUS!!!

I actually like that we get to see more of V's hesitation & examples of him still struggling with the grieving process.

Yoosung is really lashing out here. I understand his frustrations but he is very blind to his own selfishness.  

OMG THE START OF YOOSUNG'S LOLOL ADDICTION! 😨

New order of favorite voices: V, Jumin, Yoosung, Ray, Zen, Jaehee, Luciel. ((This is shocking to me because I tend to prefer high-pitched male voices. Why? I don’t even know. The first time I heard Yoosung’s voice I was like “THIS IS THE ONE. THIS IS IT! QUALITY! GOOD SHIT!” Then I heard Jumin talk & my panties were WRECKED. I couldn’t fight it. I didn’t want to fight it.))

Aye, not to RUSH anything but uhh… when do I get to start giving answers like “V come save me” cause homeboy is at Mint Eye. I’m at Mint Eye. We can fucking leave Mint Eye together. Just saying.

Me In-Game: “Yoosung, I think you need to seek professional help.” Yoosung: “I don’t think I need counseling. I’ll just vent my feelings into my new game!” Me Out-Of-Game: “BOY I HAVE SEEN YOUR FUTURE & WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK!”

DAY FOUR

“Say Yoosung for example … [he’s] set to mourn the death of his precious but is he really sad because of somebody’s death or is he sad because death still remains a mystery to him?” I swear I just looked off into the distance & said, “Holy fuck…” Ray is getting DEEP. He just made a damn good point honestly. My mind is blown. I need a minute. This explains so much about Yoosung, honestly.

Ray just broke all the characters down in like 5 words or less. I am seriously impressed. Chertiz. CHERTIZ, MY DUDES. Your game is fantastic. Your characters are so in depth. None of them are perfect & I love it.

“… plant a seed of happiness inside you.” You’re not planting any seeds inside of me. Nope. Thanks for playing. I don’t want your seed. I can buy seeds at Home Depot if I need them. Thanks.

I’m guessing day 4 bad ending is you basically just joining Mint Eye with Ray at this point… & getting all of his seed.

JUMIN CALLED ME WHILE HE’S LYING IN BED. I AM BLESSED & I AM ALSO LYING IN MY BED.

Ok… I was hoping this call would get sexy but now he’s just talking about mattresses. Look Juju, you’re welcome to come & help me test the firmness of my mattress & I’ll test the firmness of your-

Real talk, Jumin’s exaggerated sigh directly into my ear via headphones gave me chills. Bye. I’m ascending to another plane of existence.

…. I’m waiting for that moment V changes his profile picture. WHEN. WILL. IT. HAPPEN?

The Game of Kings CG. I’m fucking crying.

VANDERWOOOOD.

Zen looking like he did an autumn “back to school” photoshoot for Sears & I am LOVING IT. He’s so cute. Looks like a Sketchers advert.

Yoosung is too innocent for his own good. Just met someone one day prior & already accepting packages from them. STRANGER DANGER, MY DUDE.

WET ZEN SELFIE! MY PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED! BLESSED.

Yoosung, I want to be your ‘master’. Please & thank you.

Elixir of salvation. Ah, that wonderful combination of harsh chemicals & neurotoxins/hallucinogens. I wouldn’t put it past them to have added piss. Ray says he’s going to make it special for me though by adding flavor to it. This boy is probably going to add a dollop of ice cream in it & say “IT’S AN ELIXIR OF SALVATION FLOAT!” Hard pass.

V COME & SAVE ME ALREADY! But let’s keep the robe…. for reasons… (Hello, you have all been introduced to Meowle’s extensive clothing kink.)

“The secret has got out of my hands…” ::looks directly into the camera with both eyes unblinking:: Boy, I’ve been saying this since uh… 2 years… into your future….

If I’m forced to drink this shit despite choosing the answers of resisting I’m going scream. I DO NOT CONSENT.

SAVE YOURSELF V! RUN!

Ok really, I just want to pick Ray up, toss him over my shoulder, tell him to hush & trust me, & walk out of there while karate kicking everyone in the face. Come at me. (Congratulations Cheritz, you made me like a character I didn’t originally like. You sneaky skillful writers.)

Holy shit, excellent EXCELLENT voice acting by Saeran’s VA. That was absolutely phenomenal. Sujin Kang. Bravo!

DAY FIVE

THIS ROUTE HAS GOT ME EMOTIONALLY FUCKED UP & I AM ONLY ON THE START OF DAY 5?! How am I supposed to do this for 6 more days?

V panting in a phone call = my mind directly into the gutter. Whew.

Yes, because keeping MORE secrets has helped us in the past 4 days. Does nobody learn from their mistakes in this game?

((Explained the current plot of this route to my sister)) Sister: “Ok, if this took place here in Texas, you’d just bust in there with guns blazing to save those pink & mint boys.” Me: “I wouldn’t kill anyone!” Sister: “You could just like… aim for their legs so they can’t chase you out of there.”

“It doesn’t matter what happens to me” This almost feels like V’s emotions go beyond just self-sacrifice for those he cares about. This blatant disregard for his own safety feels very self-damaging. I’m wondering if they’ll tap into this idea further in the story. Does he not feel worthy of existing? Of love?

Whoa… whose voice is THIS? Whomever this lady voice is, she’s got protractors in her eyeballs too, like Juju.

“I’ve lost my violin, something I’ve played for my whole life.” GIRL, I FEEL YOU. My heart is shattering for her & I don’t even know who she is.

Ohhhh it’s V’s mom isn’t it?! Calling it now.

I'm laughing so hard. "IT IS TIME TO ACTIVATE THE INTELLIGENCE UNIT!" & it's not even established yet! Jumin please. Omg.

How adorable!! Teenage Jumin & V!!

Wow, V's philosophy on life sure did a massive 180 in 10 years. Hmm, methinks his mom is going to come in to play for that.

I swear, if anyone else pops in & tries to “cleanse me” I’d start throwing fists. Touch me, I dare you.

V is resisting every romantic approach. I feel bad for trying to flirt with him. I guess I’ll just flirt with Jumin then.

Zen giving Yoosung some major tough love. He didn't have to step up to care for Yoosung, but he did. Zen is a good man.

Yoosung's crying phone call is ripping me apart. Also this voice acting is phenomenal. So so good but so painful.

This is disgusting. Rika has some serious psychosis & V decided to suffer in it as some way to "prove his love". That's not love. This is blatant abuse. I'm appalled. V was blinded by 'love', literally & figuratively.

In the end, V was abused. He had his love for Rika twisted/manipulated & used against him. He was physically hurt by his lover. This makes me angry not just because it happened but because he gave consent. I’m just… so fucking baffled. You do not encourage someone who is mentally unstable (or even stable) to inflict pain on yourself or others as a means for them to try to maintain a grasp on their sanity or ‘happiness’ or because they want proof you ‘love them.’ V encouraged this, he allowed it, he consented & it fucking spiraled out of control. He took on so much pain. He thought by doing this he was somehow helping Rika, but it didn’t! It just made everything worse & Rika went on to hurt more people after this. Yes, I see that V is trying to redeem himself somehow, trying to keep everyone else out of the situation so they don’t suffer like he did & so they don’t get hurt but I can’t ignore the fact that V made mistakes in their relationship as well. Rika’s growing mental instability should have been handled with a lot more care (therapy ((if one doesn’t work try another)), hospitalization, medication). He knew from the beginning she was like this, no? He enabled these tendencies she had & it wasn’t good for either of them. I want to know his end goal. Was he just being selfish? Did he think only he could be a cure for her? What was he getting out of this since it didn’t read as if he was really being loved back. Did he do any of this out of malicious intent? No, I don’t think so - it reads as if he was doing what he thought was right but V made mistakes & I feel sorry for them both. V is a very tragic character indeed. He thought his love was some sort of cure-all for his lover but it wasn’t. This is actually very sad. In a way, I guess he did stop her from hurting others (for a time) or hurting herself, but that still doesn’t make this right.

I was heavily suspicious of V in the original routes (even though his voice was so goddamn sexy), particularly in Yoosung & Seven’s routes. I still think V is not entirely free from blame. I don’t think he’s by any means evil or manipulative, just misguided in what he thought was love but really was just self-sacrifice & pretty damn obsessive if you ask me. It also rings heavily of codependency. You don’t give up every part of yourself so your partner can find ‘happiness’, that’s not a healthy love. Love yourself a little more than that, Jihyun, please.

I don't like Rika. Yes, she did good things while ‘alive’ & at one point she might have been healthy & mentally stable but it spiraled out of her & anyone else's control into a very very dark place where she became toxic, manipulative, & delusional. She's done horrible acts that I refuse to look past regardless of her previous ‘good deeds’. Bad people can do good things for all the wrong reasons. She needs medical help, I can see that, but that doesn't mean I have to like her. Her words & actions against V are very selfish as well, demanding he prove his love by letting her physically hurt him? She targeted his need to please & exploited the hell out of that - backed him into a corner & kept badgering him about him proving his love (even though he seemed all too willing to do just that). This is wrong in every way. Mental illness isn’t a ‘free pass.’

This conversation between MC, Yoosung, & Jaehee felt very productive! Yoosung seemed to actually listen & take in another POV.

DAY SIX

Ok, I officially feel like I have no fucking idea what the actual shit Rika or V are talking about in any of their damn video novel conversations. Too many damn metaphors & nonsense. Yes yes, sunshine, flowers & dark skies. Let’s move along. I’d rather hear Yoosung crying.

Update: V officially changed his profile background picture again but still not his avatar picture.

I hope Elizabeth 3rd isn’t suffering at all through this dramatic period. Is she ok? Is she eating well? How are her jumps coming along? Has she been grooming properly? When was her last bowel movement? I hope my precious baby angel is doing well.

V’s mom is kicking me right in the emotions. Every word she’s saying is just devastating. To lose everything & be outcast, having your child ripped away, not being able to find solace in something you’d taken comfort in for decades… I can’t even begin to imagine.

What a sad sad parallel. V’s mom lost her hearing & therefore her art of music. V is losing his sight & therefore his art of photography. Wow.

Secrets secrets are no fun… BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING RUINING EVERYONE’S LIVES.

I don't want Ray to be abandoned again!

You make one comment about recognizing a 90s computer & Seven suddenly calls you "ma'am." Boy, I oughta...

Jaehee says that V drives a British make car that is silver in appearance. I am hoping it's a silver Aston Martin Vanquish (aka Meowle's absolute dream car - only I want it in black in black on black).

I am laughing so hard at the idea of Jaehee just turning toward Seven & asking, "Do you work out?” ((Another Story - Brought to you by Seven’s Hot Hot Body. He Works Out!))

Yeah girl, I hate to break it to you, but that mask is doing nothing to conceal your identity so…

Hahaaaaa Seven imitating Jaehee in this phone call is pretty damn hilarious.

Someone please tell me there some options to throw a punch or two cause I fucking will. I need a Mortal Kombat option.

Jumin's analogy about V, Yoosung, & the apple tree was really really good! That pep talk was amazing. Jumin hit a home run with that motivation speech.

What kinda photos did Seven find? Naughty photos? Photos of Rika hurting V? Are we going to get to see these later?

Ok ok this might be a stretch but it's almost like V's mom's love & desperation for her child, that concern to only want to shield from pain & no longer finding purpose in anything else in life, is heavily paralleled in V's need to protect his "art" (Rika). Is this why he was so determined to try to be the outlet for her pain? He really thought this was his way of protecting her? A set of photos in his series was called Obsession, right? Was this all about an obsession with Rika? Makes sense to me at least. V is in deep, I'm questioning his mental stabilities as well in these flashbacks, honestly.

This CG with Rika & MC makes me uncomfortable. Hands off, please & thank you.

God bless Jumin keeping me updated on Elizabeth 3rd because right now she's the only bright spot in this horrifically emotional route.

"Once they get used to love... I show them fear again. Just enough to get them scared. And when I save them again, they become happy." What kinda toxic manipulative evil callus twisted deceitful bullshit. Girl, if I get my hands on you I’ll show you something to be afraid of.

Shit is going down & Ray is texting me about sunflowers. "If you leave then I'll be the sunflower. I'm going to stand watching the direction you've gone to." 😢😢😢 Please, don’t hurt him anymore.

I am at the end of day 6 & honestly I don't know if I am about to bad end. Did I fuck up somewhere? Oh geez...

JUMIIIIN stepping in & delegating like a champ. I love you.

Rika just sort of confirmed my little theory about V & ‘noble self sacrifice’, thinking he was some sort of cure-all for her demons but didn't see that he was doing more harm than good. I don't want to agree with her here but I almost kinda have to. I mean, she did ask him to basically keep giving her unconditional love, so she’s also a hypocrite in saying it was entirely V’s fault. He wasn’t the cause of her “devil” but I think he certainly had an inadvertent hand in helping it flourish.

Cheritz, please let me fight someone in this game. PLEASE! I want a full on Mortal Kombat side mode. I will go full on Liu Kang up in here, complete with all the noises he made in Sega Genesis - HUUWAH!

Hell. No. I will not do anything for you ((at least not until I loop back around to intentionally bad end)). You can fuck right the fuck off. I ain't telling the RFA shit for you.

DAY SEVEN

Oh ho ho, defensive & in-denial Yoosung is out to play.

“We’re teenagers. This is the period where we express rebellion.” Cue Jumin tilting his tie clip 30* upward so it’s not perfectly perpendicular to his tie. REBELLION! Drink tap water instead of chilled glass-bottle mineral water. REBELLION! Pay with cash instead of card. REBELLLLLIIIOOOONNNN!

Real talk - Jumin, that was some outstanding advice. He’s telling this to his friend & they’re just children at this stage? That is some serious insight. I will never get over how Jumin, who is so emotionally closed off, is such a damn good friend to V. His delivery was impeccable as well, it wasn’t condescending or judgmental; it was sincere. It was very matter of fact but did have a hint of genuine concern for his friend. Their friendship makes me very happy & I am glad they have one another. This isn’t just a “little” chat. This conversation goes on to very likely change V’s entire life… & Jumin had a massive hand in that. I’m so amazed, y’all.

Ohhhh, I offered Jumin a hug & got shot down. I’m hurt. I’ll never recover. I need to redo his route so I can feel his love again.

“Super-ego” Oooook…. BOTH of y’all need to reevaluate some shit.  

Rika had a bullied fucked up childhood & she needs some serious professional help. I feel like a broken record. She’s gone by the wayside, hell she’s lost the map entirely.

All these metaphors & analogies they keep using for their pain & torment, is exhausting. Hide it in prose all you want, what we have here is toxic.

This sort of solidifies my theory that Saeran has a split personality, this isn’t just anger. There’s just no way this is “the same” person. He’s been hurt by so many people. Now it’s sad to watch him hurt others. If they ever make a route of him, I will be very interested in seeing what the event was that causes him to finally shift personalities between Ray & Unknown (at least I’m assuming it’s Ray vs. Unknown & not Ray vs. Saeran).

“I will hack everything” Lmfaoooo. This made me snort laugh so hard my chest hurt. EVERYTHING! HIDE THE TOASTER. HIDE YOUR WATCH.

I can’t fault Yoosung so not believing what any of the RFA members tell him. He has no proof. He’s been lied to, just found out he’d been lied to, & now told to believe something else? Yeah, I wouldn’t believe anyone either. If you try to tell me that the person I loved & looked up to the most went evil, was hurting people, & started a cult I would tell you to fuck right off & laugh in your face. We also forget Yoosung is a scientist (though he’s not acting like one at the moment), he needs to see actual proof otherwise he’s not going to believe it. HOWEVER, he’s so loyal to Rika that if he were to show up at Mint Eye he’d very likely join them just to be with Rika again. I hope the RFA fights tooth & nail to keep him from going to Mint Eye.

Ok ok, in this VN, V expresses that he feels grateful to have been told by Jumin to not live his father’s life & to live for himself & make his own opinion about his mom. So… when is someone going to step in & tell V to not live his life for Rika, because ever since he claimed to be “her sun” that’s what he’s been doing… living for someone else again. V needs to live for himself, find what really makes him happy. A lot of this route so far hints that V is struggling with self-love & being ‘selfish’ enough to find what makes him genuinely happy. Also, Jihyun seems very sensitive to the opinion of others. That’s an interesting character trait - nothing wrong with it. I quite like that he’s played up as sensitive but tries to take on burdens himself to spare others - makes him a very tragic & compelling character.

ZEN MOANING IN A PHONE CALL LORD JESUS I NEED TO DRINK SOME HOLY WATER. THANK YOU, CHERITZ.

Is it just me or does anyone else think that Seven coming to Mint Eye on his own is actually a bad idea? You don’t mean to tell me this boy is not going be distracted by seeing his brother like this? Hmm saving brother vs. saving random new girl. … no contest.

“If you can’t relax yourself, I’ll make you relax.” Please please make me relax Zen. Please, omg.

THERE’S A “ZEN, MIND IF I REPLACE YOOSUNG?” OPTION. BLESS YOU CHERITZ YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO ME.

Angry mother-hen Zen is ridiculously amazing.

Oh please oh pleeeeease let there be a phone call to Yoosung where he’s moaning because of his massage.

WHAT IS WITH JIHYUN’S FAMILY "SACRIFICING THEIR EVERYTHING" STOP. NO. STOP THIS TRAIN OF MADNESS.

BLESS THE PHONE CALL WITH YOOSUNG GASPING & LAUGHING AS ZEN TICKLES HIM. Yoosung is ticklish along his sides. It's canon.

“I didn’t love Rika.” WHOMP THERE IT IS!

JIHYUN JUST ADMITTED HE WAS OBSESSED WITH RIKA. THAT IS A BIG STEP, PASTEL BOY! I actually put my phone down, yelled “I WAS RIGHT!” to absolutely nobody because I was alone, walked out of the room then marched right back in to keep playing the chat…

::shuffles notecards:: ::clears threat:: ::lips on the mic:: The sun is a burning ball of gas in space. It is not capable of emotions such as 'unconditional love'. It will instantly kill you on contact. Quit placing so many expectations on the sun in your fucking metaphors. Good day.

That Rika screaming CG makes me uncomfortable. I would now like to be excluded from this narrative.

I just laughed so fucking hard. Rika is having a fucking breakdown & Seven's voice just pops in ‘PSSST, ARE YOU LYNN?!’ I can't.

DAY EIGHT

Ohhh. Ohhhhhhhh. These answer choices are getting trickier. Just completely bash Rika or kinda calmly defend V? Hmm, decisions decisions.

So Seven didn’t see Saeran at all… & still somehow doesn’t know it’s actually Saeran that’s the hacker. Interestiiiiing.

Called Zen after 00:44 chat Day 8. Told him he was doing a good job by watching Yoosung because it was a hard task. “Did you just… diss Yoosung… in a subtle way?” I died when he laughed!

These answer choices all feel too similar to one another. I’m gonna fuck this up. I’m going to bad end on day 10… just watch. ((I have like 5 save files going though so…))

Yep, I expected this from Yoosung. He’s honestly not as bad as I thought he’d be. He even voices that he understands he’s being unreasonable & whiney - he just can’t help the way he’s feeling. This is a very visceral & real reaction. I think I don’t find it annoying because I was fully expecting this. I braced myself for it & I am enjoying seeing it play out. He was the most loyal to Zika, he’s going to take a lot to make him believe. Oh, what if there’s a bad end where he & MC both end up as part of Mint Eye?!

::battered & bruised:: ::speaks into walkie-talkie:: Day 8 on mission of V route. So far no casualties. On the path to Good End still. But V still hasn’t changed his fucking profile picture. Over.

[[Here is where I caved & actually started to spend the thousands of hourglasses I have on buying days in bulk instead of just calls for V & Ray.]]

180 HG for a days worth of chats?! Gooooood Lord. ::clicks accept::

Ray’s clapping happy emoji is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen.

I CAN’T LIE TO HIM & SAY I DON’T LIKE ICE CREAM. I FUCKING LOVE ICE CREAM. I HAVE MORE ICE CREAM IN MY FREEZER THAN ANY OTHER FOODS…

Whoa cool! Ray & Rika (my phone keeps correcting her name to be ‘Zika virus’) have profiles in the hacked messenger!

I told V “art” is part of my job because medicine is an art, right? Isn’t that a saying? “The art of medicine.”

Call V after 7:13 chat. This is a good call from him - not romantic I mean - but definitely good for more insight on how he now views his role in Rika’s progression.

Whoa whoa new chat room theme song when Rika joined in.

VANDERWOOOOOOOOOD!!! Bless. Their haggling is pretty adorable.

Update: V finally changed his profile picture & is emo as fuck.

About time these idiots realize the sun is fucking dangerous. Stop using it for your nonsense. This is driving me more insane than any other aspect of the game. Mention the sun again & I’m going to go stare directly into it until my corneas melt.

Was that finally a confession of feelings for you but kinda backhanded about it? With how torn up Jihyun is about this entire Rika situation, I’m very surprised that this route would even be considered a love endeavor between he & MC. I don’t think he’s anywhere near emotionally ready to pursue a new relationship with someone so soon after this chaos. I don’t know how I’ll feel if either of the ‘good’ endings is them together right away - it’ll just feel so wrong for the progression of his character. I think Jihyun needs to learn to love & accept himself before he can open up again to trying to love someone - at least loving something the right way.

Hahaaaa like hell am I going to say THE SUN is my muse. I’m going to stop going out in daylight at this point. My bones are going to get brittle. Thanks, Cheritz.

Omg V’s mom is such a boss lady. Be strong, Lynn. Don’t cry.

Aw shit, that fucked me up emotionally.

Is this why V doesn’t like people looking at his body? Does he have scars from this fire? I hope we get more on this. Or was that body comment just another glimpse into how unsure V is about himself? Another tidbit of not loving himself? Hmm.

I am honestly at a loss, I don’t know if I’m answering correctly to get to the party.

Noooo! V, why did you lie again?! He asked you point blank. You were progressing so well. THIS CAN ONLY END IN TEARS. TELL SEVEN THE TRUTH! Seven is going to be beyond hurt when he finds out that you just kept lying! He needs to know about Saeran! He needs to save him!

The music in this 22:00 chat is absolutely fantastic. Who is the music developer for this game. Give them a raise & a three week vacation to Hawaii. This soundtrack is so great.

OMGGGG did I fuck up? If V goes back to Rika, I swear. I’m so done. Ohh, that’s going to be a bad end, isn’t it? He’s going to give in again & go back to her!

This relationship is so twisted. We’re talking in fucking circles. This is the most unproductive conversation I’ve ever been a part of & I’ve spoken with anti-vaxxers in person.

I’m absolutely crushed. This was it. This was the moment? That full break between Ray & Unknown… I have no words. This is so so sad. The VA even does a different voice each of them.

I’m crying. Full on tears. Ray…

If this was the moment of the full separation between Ray & Unknown in this timeline, I am still curious what was the trigger to cause the full break between personalities in the original timelines. I really hope we get a Saeran route now. I wasn’t hoping for one before, but Cheritz has me hooked now. I need redemption for Saeran.

DAY NINE

So, I’m guessing I’m on the right track? Because I just realized a lot of the answers in this portion have a lot of self-centered MC options? So I’m trying to avoid the “me me me, V is better off with me” choices & focusing more on the “V is changing & growing for himself” options. I’m sticking with that since I’m fully on board with my theory that V needs to learn to love & live for himself.

DON’T BRING THE MOON INTO THIS. LEAVE HER ALONE. SHE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS.

Juuuumiiiin. I’ve missed you!

How many times do you think Rika had to set up her phone to auto take that photo of her standing in front of the Moon before she got it right?

VANDERWOOD!

VANDERWOOD SELFIE!

GIVE VANDERWOOD AN RFA PROFILE

VAN.DER.WOOOOOOD.

Vanderwood is laying down some fucking truth in this VN with V. Vanderwood - the voice of the people.

At this point, I'm just over arguing & talking in circles.

My heart was in my throat thinking Ray was going to drop the news that Seven was his brother in that chat room they were in together. I was waiting for it; I don’t even think I was breathing.

Oh RFA members + Mint Eye in the same chat rooms?! LET’S DO THIS.

Petition to rename the RFA to something else, anything else.

WHO DID THIS WOMAN JUST STAB. OMG. OMGGGGG. WTF WAS THAT PHONE CALL?!

Nobody has ever given V a hug before? How cold. I’ll hug you. I’ll hug the crap out of you.

I’m going to go hug my mom…

Update: Hugged my dad along the way to finding my mom to hug her. Hugged my cat too. My sister opened her arms for a hug when she saw I was making rounds, but I just high-fived both hands & walked past. I’m such an asshole.

Rika is flip flopping all over the damn place. Did you want his love or not? Is he your sun or not? Are you angry or not? Do you want him dead or not? I’m over it. Go away.

Ok why the fuck was the phone call from Rika about her stabbing someone BEFORE the actual VN where she stabbed someone?! I was so confused. That has to be some glitch.

$10 says now Rika is going to be torn between wanting V to die or not. She’s just going to keep flip-flopping. In the end, she’s just as obsessed.

Wow. Wow. The phone call where Seven is freaking out. Like genuine emotion scared shitless. Excellent acting.

DAY TEN

Rika was off looking for love her entire life when Yoosung was literally there right beside her loving her unconditionally when he finally met her.

Lmao "Don't go to the apartment, Yoosung. There's a bomb there." Yeah that's right, bitches. I can see in the future.

Damn Jaehee. Savage. I liiiiike it.  

"I didn't stab him that deep." Confession! WHOOP, THERE IT IIIIIS.

Son of a bitch. Ray is going to sacrifice himself isn't he?! While Rika's off playing house in her apartment again. I'm so pissed. Please please please let Seven save him.

I've been waiting for this Rika/Yoosung messenger chat! Now I fully expect Yoosung to resist harder & plead/beg. If I'm wrong, I'll eat my hat.

Damn they just give MC a straight up "hang up" option on Rika. Take no shit,  MC.

Everyone is hella vaguing in their profiles lolololol. You know you’re desperate when you’re vaguing in a closed off messenger accessible to only 7 people. We all know who you’re talking about. You’re not slick. 

Oh shit. V's mom making a comeback to slap me right in my feelings.

Ray's call after the 18:00 chat...

I have never been more attracted to Jumin in my fucking LIFE.

Ray’s best call is the one you make to him after 19:49. He cares so so much. He has so much to give despite being hurt & used & broken over & over again.  This was a great phone call. Devastatingly sad, but excellent for his character.

Where in the fresh hell did Vanderwood just pop off to? Last I saw him Seven asked him to look after MC. Then never again…

You bet your ass I chose the answer to tie Yoosung up. Like my thirsty domme ass was going to let that opportunity sliiiiiide on by. I’m not even surprised that Yoosung giggled at the idea. Bless his subby heart. Boy wants it bad. I am willing to give & give & give...

Whooooa 21:53 chat: “Ray has entered the chatroom” but ended with “Unknown has left the chatroom” I know this happened before but this is right before the final fight, right? Is Seven going to show up & find Unknown instead of Ray? Are they even going to do the brother reveal? Ray’s going to die, isn’t he? I can’t help but think that if V had told him, Seven would have tried harder, would have gone there personally. But then maybe Seven would get hurt too? Is Seven going to die?!

Yes, Jihyun! Find & love yourself! Live for yourself! This is an excellent idea! I approve of this. You need this. Forget about Rika! I wish you luck! 

Sonofabitchfuckfuckfuck. Ray deserved better. RAY DESERVED BETTER. That poor boy. He was so used, so confused, & so so tormented. I’m so angry. This wasn’t fair. I’m going to pout & be pissy about this for a long time. I’m hoping he really isn’t dead. Please please. I’m going to be in denial about this, I know it. I mean, they did show him in the control room in Mint Eye. He gave his final words & then there was the explosion. Is it too silly to hope that he somehow got out? Maybe...

Wowowow. That final chat with Rika, begging like that. That was brutal. Even in the middle there she switched between pleading & saying she’d get revenge. I really do pity her & I hope she gets help in this route but at this point I don’t even know. I’m on this emotional see-saw where I really dislike her but on the other side pity her. I’ll admit, I’m spending a lot more time on the side of not liking her. 

DAY ELEVEN

She’s not dead. There’s no way. I won’t believe it until I see a body (same with Saeran). YOU CAN’T TRICK ME. I’M A VETERAN OF THESE PLOYS!

Jumin. Fucking. Han. This man is so good. He’s so strong even though he’s struggling himself. That “lean on me” line nearly had me tearing up. Jumin Han is a GOOD MAN.

Also, Jumin said it isn’t confirmed if the hacker was in the building or not. I mean, being in a direct explosion could very well decimate a body, but what if he got out? Ray did sound pretty desolate about not having anywhere else to go & did seem pretty resigned to this suicide mission though. This isn’t fair.

PARTY ATTEMPT #1 (Invited 24 guests) - Good Ending?

WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Is this like a “bad end” party? Why is she here? I fucked up, didn’t I? (I feel like the Minister of Magic in Harry Potter shouting “He’s back!”) ((If she gets to live & Ray actually died... I can’t. I’m still so angry.))

Yoosung, noooo!

OMG YOOSUNG, YES!

V’s mom has managed to make me tear up nearly every time she pops up on the screen. She had such impact on this route despite not be present in the here & now of it. She’s an angel. A fucking angel. Every CG of her’s has blessed me. This background story on her was so amazing. Her struggle & sacrifice for her son & finding purpose in herself after losing so much was... so beautiful. I’m going to cry again. 

BABY JIHYUN WITH HIS MOM CG. I’m crying for real. This is beautiful. The emotions for this were so so good.

What is with this game & Alaska?! Everyone is going there. Maybe Ray went to Alaska! 

That’s rich, Zen. Calling Jumin an alcoholic. Pot meet kettle.

Shit goddamn Jumin, was it necessary to be THAT savage about Zen’s selfies?

Jihyun turned into a beautiful happy hippie.

Hippie Jihyun is hot as hell. That smile. Wow.

Holy shit. “I want to love you. I will love you. I love you, just as I love myself.” That’s a damn good line! Damn good. 

Honestly, I am beyond glad, thrilled, immensely happy that there was a two year gap between Jihyun & MC actually getting together. If he had just jumped right into a relationship with MC after all of this, I would have questioned the foundation of the relationship. He was not emotionally ready for that so I’m glad the story allowed the time break so he could grow, heal, discover on his own.

I like that Jihyun wanted to be called his birth name again, not the ‘persona’ V that he’d created for his art, like a cloak or shield. He found & accepted himself & wanted to be that person. That’s beautiful. Self-love is very hard to achieve. I know a lot of people struggle with it, so it’s nice to see that represented in a character.

I want answers for what happened with Rika. We are just to assume she was sent off somewhere to get help with no updates?

I do not like that Seven was never told about Ray. I know it would cause more hurt for him, but he deserved to know. That just felt dirty. I feel dirty.

I am genuinely impressed that Yoosung was the one to stand up at the end to apprehend Rika. He was a little tornado this entire route & I was glad to see him finally understand at the end that this Rika was not the same one he cared so deeply for. Being the one to grab her & hand her in, had to have hurt him - but he stepped up & did it. That was good progression for him. Took him a long damn while to get to that acceptance, but that action of his took a lot.

I’m glad Jihyun’s route focused more on his development to turn away from obsession & look toward himself. It’s a similar kind of character growth in the other routes (learning to accept yourself & grow beyond something holding you back). These stories were never just about falling in love with someone, they grew to be better versions of themselves in the end. Jihyun’s development was definitely more artistic (cushioned in prose & woven in metaphors & abstracts) than others, but it was interesting just the same.

I like that they made such a big deal about Jihyun getting his eyes repaired. He refused to get them healed other times, but showing he was willing now & grateful to Jumin for setting it up was a nice touch to see how developed he’s become & showing he’s willing to let go of Rika (despite him talking about her every other sentence still…). Baby steps. He’s letting go of the hurt, recognizing he’s worthy of love & happiness too.

Maybe it’s just me, but was anyone else sort of wanting to see a CG of one of Jihyun’s paintings? I would have liked to have seen what they considered his painting style. He looks much more relaxed & carefree in his good ending CG, I wondered if his paintings would have reflected that.

PARTY ATTEMPT #2 (Invited 5 guests) - Normal Ending?

I really like this idea of Jihyun just venturing out on his own to find what he likes, what makes him happy. The self-discovery journey. But boy, you were just stabbed. I don’t think you can be discharged within a day after a celiotomy.

Jihyun talking about his dream house is ridiculously cute. This man essentially wants a little messy cottage in the city. How adorable. He went from being a materialistic & pragmatic teenager to being content with a sort of abstract pleasures in his adulthood.

Oh, so in this ending Jihyun asks MC right off the bat to be with him. Seems a little rushed, no? I don’t think he’s ready. He’s feeling a lot right now. Who is to say his obsession won’t transfer over to MC? He claims to have learned his lesson & to recognize the difference between obsession & love but I still think it’s very soon. I really wouldn’t want this to turn into Jihyun becoming dependent on MC after this emotional trauma & that being the basis for their relationship.

MC’S ONLY RESPONSE IS “ALRIGHT” Omg. So bland.

Are we to assume that Rika is actually dead in this ending? Because she never showed back up? Hmm.

So there’s a 2 year jump in this ending too, only we’re to assume that MC & Jihyun have been together as a couple during that time?

Ohhhhhh you can call Jihyun “darling”! <3

Wait, didn’t Jihyun say he wanted a little house in the city with curtains to block out the sun? This looks like a high rise apartment with massive fucking windows & sheer curtains that let in a lot of sun... but ok.

WHOA WHOA, Jihyun became a musician in this ending?! I want to know what he plays! Does he play piano like his theme song?! Does he play violin like his mom?!?! I will cry.

Jihyun’s pouty voice is ADORABLE! Holy crap where has this been all my life?!

Oh, interesting! He’s still very sensitive to the opinions of others (I mean, I certainly didn’t expect that to go away, you’re always going to fear criticisms). At least, he seems a little more open to hearing them, even if he’s hesitant to play for MC again since he wants her to like what he plays. He’s still a little shy, private, & sensitive. Cute.

These rich boys & their pancakes…

Jumin obsessed with pancake recipes confirmed. I love him so much.

His answer about their relationship was very sweet & shows how he’s come to understand a give & take balance, as well as loving himself & genuinely loving together. That was cute.

Still pissed that Seven never found out about Ray.

I want to know what instrument Jihyun plays!

OTHER

I went from being very skeptical of Jihyun’s character (he just felt downright shady) in other routes to liking him (now that we see the depths of his self-damaging & self-sacrificing behavior & the full reason behind all the secrets). He’s certainly not perfect. He’s made many mistakes. He was misguided in a lot of aspects. He’s still learning & now trying to do better. He’s talented, pretty, sensitive, kind, & generous. He was a victim as well & even had a hand in his own progressing downfall before he realized his mistakes & reevaluated himself & the situation. I definitely like him a lot more now that I know the reasoning behind his actions & seeing the changes in him for the better - especially seeing him accept & appreciate himself more. 

Yeah yeah, I’m going to be that person - I’m sad we didn’t get a kiss CG! I wanted one, not going to lie. Maybe we’ll get one for his After Ending if he gets an after ending?! Who knows. I wanna smooch him, that’s for sure. 

I expected to like the normal ending more since I liked all the other normal endings for the other characters more than their good endings, however I find myself liking Jihyun’s good ending over his normal ending. I just can’t get past the fact that I think he needed that self-evaluation time away from MC. That two years apart (though probably a lot longer than I would have expected the game to do) felt necessary. In his good ending, Jihyun sounded much more certain that MC was who he wanted to be with & to love instead of asking MC straight away to just stick by him in his normal ending. In his normal ending, MC questioned him, & he sort of recited a dialogue about their love. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but it sounded like he was trying to reassure himself? Or maybe MC was just trying to gently remind him that yes, what we have is real, & healthy, & good for both of us & just needed him to say it aloud? Regardless, good ending sat better with me overall.

I still want to know what the other photos were in that series of photographs he took. I mean Seven, sounded pretty damn shocked by them. We didn’t even get a line about if it was actual imagines of inflicted harm or salacious material (I’m not trying to be a pervert for once, I’m genuinely curious).

Ray deserved better. I don’t think I can put it into any other words than that. I was very upset with his end in all of this. He didn’t deserve that. Only Rika & V knew his identity. Rika is either dead or being treated somewhere (depending on whichever ending you cater to) & in neither of the endings did Jihyun make known that the hacker was Saeran. I’m legitimately angry about this. How can Saeran even rest in peace that way? Is only the audience (& MC) to mourn for him? Everyone (RFA) is mourning for Rika in a sense but Ray deserves SOMEONE who knows who he was. Sure, Rika has that moment where she screamed & felt remorse, but she still didn’t speak up. Would anyone have believed her if she had? Maybe not. But he deserved someone trying on his behalf. Maybe I’m sitting too long on this, but it felt dirty. I know I said that earlier somewhere, but I still think it. This was wrong. He died in an explosion, alone, with only two people knowing who he really was & they didn’t fucking say anything. Seven is never going to really know what happened to his brother, so what happens if he goes looking for him in the future? Fuck, I’m crying again. I’m so sorry, Ray. You didn’t deserve this, you just trusted the wrong people.