#like I need to correct myself

[enbyonsteriods]

[inumbrapugnabimus-maybe]

I draw normal things

[sunlight-shunlight]

i don't have an excuse for this. woe. young solas be upon ye.

[dandelion-roots]

[ID: a digital drawing of riz gukgak from fantasy high. in the front is a relatively small drawing of riz juggling books that are falling out of his hand and a phonecall, and he has a huge backpack on. he looks a bit overwhelmed, hair flying in all directions, and has a nervous smile on. in the background is a large shadow of riz, only one glowing eye and a shining gun visible. the background is red, giving an eerie feel. End ID]

Kill your best friend

Cheat your way to your rogue teacher

Announce your presidential campaign

Don't let them know how angry you are

LEARN TO RECOGNIZE A MONSTER

[sanzodaily]

day 86 | yaoi powerscaling

[astrovian]

Richard Armitage during 2020 lockdown

[elodieunderglass]

I can't resist bothering you with more questions. I'm sorry! I want to put Killie in a basket and carry him around with me like a purse dog. Did Charlie always know that he wasn't going to be a horse pilot forever and that he would find a way out of his family's net, or was he never going to escape if him being kicked out hadn't forced him into it? My heart breaks for him a bit, even though he seems the most well-adjusted person in that family. How old was he when he ended up on his own?

(In reference to Killie the jockey OC, crown prince of a horse-obsessed family, and his identical twin brother Charlie, who was disowned/ escaped the orbit of the Horse Planet)

You are never a bother. Nobody could be anything but grateful to have such insightful, brave, witty and inspiring people to talk about their OCs with! Are you kidding?

That’s such a good and deep question - I don’t think that Charlie knows the answer himself. He certainly was quite a talented apprentice jockey. In terms of his place in the family, his parents and siblings all adored him - he is warm and charming and funny - and thought they understood him. He has that special child-of-rotten-parents survival-mode sensitivity to reading a room, that in Charlie translates into useful skills, like “changing the mood of the room” and “sensing what people want him to say”.

But Charlie has a strong sense of identity, and with it, a hard internal limit on personal sacrifice; there are parts of Charlie you can’t have.

And despite being a fifth-generation jockey of impeccable pedigree, the whole “stoic, fearless, impervious to pain” thing appears to be a state of mind - not a physiology thing, but a mental one, engendered by passion for the sport. Charlie has had passages of his life where he’s carried off the Jockey Constitution (TM), but a problem with armouring yourself with a mental state is that if you are an especially clever little liar yourself, like Charlie, you catch on to the trick.

And the sport is inextricable from the horses in their family. So Charlie stormed out (was thrown out) of both family and sport… but I think he does like horses and he was good at it. And it would’ve been hard, in that family, in that immersive and passionate world, to break out naturally - especially when you are so beautifully built for it. It would again come down to Charlie’s strong sense of self.

I think a lot of his sense of identity and resistance came, early on, from connecting honestly with his bisexuality. He’s clever and sneaky, and likes mind games and code-switching and putting on characters, and when he realised the necessity of masking early on, it felt like a secret identity. He was simply Built Different, and couldn’t change it, so he made a game of tap-dancing on the tightrope.

Then he left to build that secret identity into his real self, on purpose, and he threw himself into The Opposite of Being a Jockey. He was not only the first in their family to go to university, he went into academia. He covered his bills by bartending and busking (take that, Dad). He eats cake. He is valued for his mind and brain. He is NOT COMPETITIVE AT ALL. HE’S COLLABORATIVE, EVEN.

…He was just about eighteen. And perhaps it affected him more deeply than he’d say. But what saved him - what always would save Charlie - was a sense of identity.

[beastking-golion]

Who give af if the writers didn’t “confirm” jayvik, girl have you people ever shipped shit before? You gotta do the legwork yourself, being confirmed doesn’t matter. You weaken yourself on such pointless principles.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I think in the concern of "every time you sin it becomes easier to repeat" I've forgotten 1) that even the Apostle Paul struggled against a "thorn in the flesh" and 2) God has grace for me

[adastra-rising]

Which miraculous ladybug character would work a minimum wage daycare job with screaming toddlers (asking for a friend)

[snekdood]

anyways ppl with vaginas are amazing and not inherently less than anyone with a penis and if you disagree you can jump off a bridge <3

[simcardiac-arrested]

never volunteer for anything university related man. also go listen to this

[tinukis]

i hate that im scared to write and i hate that im so picky with fics bc i have very specific needs to be fulfilled and it is hard to meet those needs...

i soooo bad desire zolusan, post wano specifically bc in my head thats when all three get together. wci is when sanji realizes his feelings for luffy– or rather accepts that he is in love with him (two years of pining im so sorry sanji) that and also finding difficulty in accepting his feelings for zoro too so basically: sanji being a mess

but idk zolusan mutual pining but they're all idiots. sanji has his own struggles, but imagine zoro's feelings or luffy's feelings. zoro keeping them internalized because it's not that important and wouldn't change a thing, yet he yearns. luffy... the guy is unpredictable imo. and i think that focusing on his perspective would be a lot of fun. he's already happy with what he has but he wants to be selfish and ask for more. idkidk words are hard but these three live rent free in my brain and they do not want to leave send help

(ALSO. imagine discussing the death pact and luffy finding out about it... unrelated to what i said but im talking about zolusan can u blame me... like. God!!!!!!!!!!! theres this one fanart where zoro does go through with it and luffy finds out and. Sighs.)

[meatgrinder-0]

ill allow myself one (maybe) hot take today. fiddleford would NOT want to help stan save ford i think. not from a resentment towards ford absolutely not i think hed feel devastated to hear he disappeared but i sincerely cannot imagine him helping open the portal when hes seen inside and knows exactly how dangerous it is. i cant even imagine him wanting to when he knows the potential consequences.

[olibavee]

i remember when i was a teenager i used to get sooo upset when people would talk abt love and awe and other positive emotions as "just being chemicals in your brain" in a disparaging tone. as if the science behind our emotions isn't the coolest shit ever. it felt very silly. i don't really see people saying that anymore now that i'm older but i'm sure if i did it'd still make me raise an eyebrow lol

[rustedleopard]

What do you think clover's family was like?

This is such a broad question that I wish you were a teeny bit more specific. Like, do you want a summary of canon or my personal headcanons or what? Eh, you know me by now, I'll talk about everything.

Canon Supported Answer: We don't know what Clover's life was like on the Surface besides it being implied to be Not Good. Starlo's lumpy and uncomfortable couch brings back unpleasant memories, yet they can fall asleep on it in seconds during nap time. Seeing the dirty dishes in Ceroba's sink/the Steamworks kitchen reminds them of their duties back home/that they never did the dishes without being told. Their hat was tattered and decomposing (as pointed out by Ace). They accept Martlet's offer to take them in in every version of a Neutral Run, even if it's an aborted No Mercy Run where they were gunning down every monster in sight, AND there is no option to deny it. They abandon their mission to seek justice for the five missing children and live with Toriel in every timeline that Flowey doesn't interfere in. In the Pacifist Run, somewhere in the Ketsukane estate (the kitchen, I believe), there's a line of flavor text that comes up about Clover wondering how everyone back home is doing but they also don't really care all that much. Heck, the fact that they chose to jump into a mountain that children were known to go missing in in the first place speaks volumes by itself.

There's little things too, like how Clover moves without making a sound, how they eat inedible stuff like packing peanuts and gunpowder, the fact that they're willing to take food out of the garbage, the way that they can just... give themself up at the end of a True Pacifist Run, etcetera, that could either be just a character quirk OR something that stems from their life on the Surface (why not both?). I could go on, but at a certain point I'd just start reciting half the flavor text in the entire game. I do think it is important to note that 1.) Clover is not very forthcoming about their life on the Surface. Everything you learn about them you learn from the flavor text. I think the only time they ever get asked about it is when Ceroba is accompanying them, and whatever answer/response they gave her (I imagine it was a Look™) had her backpedaling. So they're intentionally close-lipped about it. And 2.) You never learn any specifics about it. Who's raising them? Do they have parents? Siblings? Are they an orphan? What was an average day like for them? And on and on. This is the point where you can make up whatever you want about their life on the Surface, and so long as it takes into account what comes up in the game, you can come up with something solid. And this is the part that leads to.....

My Headcanons: Woof. Okay. I don't think too deeply about every little defining moment about their life on the Surface because I treat it more as scaffolding for their character. So don't expect a complete breakdown of every aspect of their Surface life. But here's the jist of it:

Clover was born to a single mother. Their father walked out on her just before they were born because their mother and father had a rocky relationship and their father wanted to bail before a baby would "trap him into the relationship" (they weren't married or even engaged, so it was easy for him to just... Leave. He never comes back). All the anger and resentment for the failed relationship that their mom felt rebounded onto Clover, because now she's stuck raising a baby she doesn't really want unless she's with their father and they're raising them together. Clover was supposed to be the baby that glues the relationship together, not what tears it apart. Their mom became negligent of them as a result.

As Clover got older, they would make bids for attention and affection like pretty much every child does, but their mom never reciprocated. They'd keep doing it over and over and holding onto hope that their mom would look at them and be the mom that she's supposed to be, but that hope would diminish each time they were met with coldness or outright indifference. Their hopes of building a connection with their mom evaporated when their stepdad entered the equation. Their stepdad saw their presence as competition/a reminder of his girlfriend's/wife's previous relationship and is an insecure enough man to let that bother him. So he really helps to push Clover further into the margins of the family/ruin their life. "Clover is old enough to walk home from school, they don't need their mom to pick them up." "Clover knows how to fend for themself, you don't need to end the night early to go back home and make them dinner. Stay with me a bit longer." "Clover doesn't need their own room. It's the responsibility of the older sibling to make sacrifices for the sake of their younger sibling. They can sleep on the couch." (Did I mention that they have a younger stepbrother? Because I hc that they do.) And on and on and on. They hate their stepdad and mentally call him "Mom's boyfriend/husband" instead of Dad. They don't really care for their younger stepbrother either, because (even though it wasn't intentional on the baby's part on the account of the baby being, well, a baby) he was leveraged as a wedge between Clover and the rest of their family.

They had to learn how to do things for themself like cook or clean or sign their own permission slips or bandage their own wounds or etcetera because they learned that they can't rely on others to help them. This fostered a strong sense of independence in them. It also made them a bit... odd in personality in a way that made making friends difficult (idk how to say that in a polite way; neglect does change your personality though). They wake up for school on their own, make lunch for themself and eat breakfast and do their morning routine then walk to school, do their studies, if it's a shit day they'll get into playground scraps with kids who are bullying other kids, they walk themself home and let themself in with the key that their mom gave them because the door is locked otherwise, they make their own dinner and do their homework without any help, they watch their Westerns on the TV, they tuck themself into bed. They skitter around the margins of the domestic sphere that is their mom's and stepdad's and stepbrother's lives like some sort of cockroach because that's the way that they've been made to feel. Their parents never hit them. Despite that, they were able to deeply wound Clover without ever raising a hand against them.

And part three of this post: How Do I Imagine Clover Feels About This? Well, I imagine that they feel nothing for their family. Not in a nonchalant fashion, but in the depressing "I can't even muster up the ability to care about you" manner. Feeling hate and anger takes effort; in a strange roundabout sorta way, feeling negative emotions means that you do care because you have some expectations that you want to be met and that anger is you trying to fight for them/your situation to be better. In contrast, feeling nothing is far worse because you no longer care anymore. You've accepted your circumstances. Why get mad about something bad that their family did to them? They're meeting the expectations that Clover has set for them, which are in the dirt. Whatever coals of anger or outrage they had within them have burnt to the ashes, there's nothing left to spark. They wanted their mom to be a mom to them but that was years ago at this point; they've moved on. They wanted a dad to be there for them, but he was never in the picture and the closest thing they have is the man that their mom settled with. They know that their familial situation is BAD, but because their family is all that they've ever known, they don't quite get the extent of how bad it is.

That's why they're fine with marching up a mountain known for having kids go missing in it: they have a mission, justice needs to be enacted. And if they die/go missing on this mission, so be it. It's not like there's anyone waiting for them back home.