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wristic · 5 years

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Now You’re a Real Criminal (Part 5)

Pairing: Edward Nygma X Reader Word Count: 2900 Warnings: Dark imagery? -Part 1- -Part 2- -Part 3- -Part 4- -Part 5-

“Ed, ED, there’s something I need to tell you.” Quickly you pressed up right behind him, Ed going rigid as you interrupted his speaking with patrons.

You told yourself you’d pretend like the threat didn’t happen. That you let the rest of the week play out and maybe Oswald would forget. But last night you saw the same car drive past your street no less than five times, pausing by at your apartments before going on. This morning you almost took the bus you were so frightened your brakes were cut or there was a bomb under the hood.

“I’m busy~” He hummed quietly at you while keeping his fake smile to the others deep in conversation.

“It’s important. It has to do with Oswald.” You looked around the big room for emphasis, feeling your skin crawl thinking he was watching from some hidden part of the room.

“Just stay out of his way.” Ed shrugged off.

“But-”

He snapped, turning back to your eye level, giving you a warning glare. “Stop distracting me and go write up some transaction papers. Whatever it is we’ll talk about it later.”

But you whimpered, showing as much fear in your eyes as you could, begging him to listen. The dark look started fading the more he struggled to keep maintaining eye contact. In an agitated huff he straightened himself, looking around the room with you. Hopefully wondering what his friend had done.

“Is something wrong?” One of the posh rich men asked, leaning to get a look at you.

“Nothing at all gentlemen.” Ed started pushing you back. “She’s a doltish girl, part of an outreach program.” He whispered, the men all nodding and starting conversations of how they do the same sometimes, generously of course. You didn’t glare like you wanted. Ditsy you was an upstanding girl, Ditsy you had a really good heart and didn’t deserve to be call stupid. Unfortunately she was too simple to know what that word meant. You gave a soft smile, looking about with big innocent eyes while he ushered you.

Away from prying eyes, Ed tried again to tell you off, “This can’t possibly-”

“Oswald doesn’t approve of our… of the more risque part of our partnership.” The news rendered him speechless. The most Ed could do was blink. You came to him ready to tell him everything, lay down all the terrible things Oswald threatened you with. But something about the shock in his eyes, his mouth slightly ajar told you Ed might deny it. Even worse, he might go and question Oswald. That look was the last you wanted or expected. You’d hoped Ed being the smart guy he was, would teach you how to dodge and manipulate Oswald. It was a rule of thumb villains didn’t actually have friends, right?

Taking a deep shaken breath, you tried to actively rearrange your plan for safety. “He uh, you know I think he’s just worried cause he doesn’t know me. He’s-he’s sending people to spy on me.”

He hissed, all shock gone in a stand. “That does sound like him.” Ed bemused. For long moment he thought off, making you ansty, hoping he’d come to the same conclusion you had. The act needed to be more platonic and he needed to stop talking about you with Oswald.

Abruptly Ed lit up, giving his hands a clap. “Well then it’s clear how we solve this! I’ll invite us to dinner tonight!”

Your heart fell right out of your chest. Splatted dead on the cold dirty floor. “Oh, no, that’s not-”

“You’ll get a tour of his mansion. His chef is pleasantly wonderful, you’ll have a great time! Be ready by eight and I’ll take you there!”

You reached out to stop him but those long legs of his sent him too far too fast, leaving you alone in the corner. Your hands tangled in your hair, giving a quiet long whine. Tandy appeared suddenly and pointed, “You are on fire girl! Getting in with the mayor!? You gotta tell me how you’re doing this because you are a master of manipulation.”

You whined louder.

On opening the door for him, Ed’s face fell in disappointment. “I’d thought you’d dress up more.”

You hadn’t changed from the day, too busy with your head running a mile a minute on what you should do and not do, what you should say, what Oswald might have access to do to you. Imagining everything you ate and drank was poisoned. Just dropping dead right there at the table and they’d laugh. “Yeah, I was in the bathroom.”

“...for three hours?”

“Uh, well,” You instinctively started shrinking, closing the door. “well maybe we should do this another time. Maybe I’m not-”

“Stop being ridiculous.” He grabbed your coat and grabbed you. “There’s no need for you to be nervous. This will be delightful I promise. You work beside the man everyday, you should know.”

You knew Oswald as a demanding entitled brat of a boss. No one ever did a good job but you’d hear if you’d done a bad one. Though you supposed he would show Ed a much different side. Don’t we all play up our strengths in the eyesight of our desire?

The car might as well have been silent (it wasn’t. Ed talked the whole way.) your heart was racing so fast your ears were ringing. And the Mansion, the mansion was a terrifying sight. It loomed, dark and dank above you, the black metal bars screaming open to welcome you like only anguished ghosts could.

Ed dragged you to the door, his grip on your wrist solid to keep you from running away. His knuckles only tapped the door once before it was flung open, a sour looking woman staring you two down. “Olga! Good to see you again!”

She said nothing, pulling aside to let you both in. Ed smiled to you, you trying hard to return it before being lead through badly lit and tightly cramped halls. Only candles to illuminate the reaches of bored and disapproving portraits, all looking down, all judging. Glancing in a room here and there felt so strange. Picture perfect for a century ago. Untouched but... molded, in spirit at least. Ed could have at least taken you in the daylight.

At the sudden end, the room opened up wide for a mix between a dinning hall and living room.

Oswald sat alone, hands folding on his stomach and he stared brightly, smiling. “Right on time as always, Ed.” Part of you wondered if you were hiding so far behind Ed that he couldn’t see you. But slowly Oswalds eyes fell on you. “And Y/N, I hope I’m not going to be treated to more of your absolute moron of a persona.”

You held back your huff, opting for a pout instead. “No. I won’t be acting tonight.”

“Good. Because it’s unbearable.”

Ed let go of you laughing and crossing the distance, pulling up his chair on Oswald’s right hand side. “It is, isn’t it! The other day she pretended to not know the word expeditiously and had the man explain it four times. She wasn’t even talking to me and I wanted to strangle her.”

Gloomily, you were about to take the seat beside Ed’s, furthest away from Oswald. But Oswald of course stopped you. “No, over here.” He pointed with a smile to his left. A rush of terror went through you and you looked to Ed, silently pleading for him to defend you.

He didn’t, motioning for you to move as if you were being impolite. Stiffly, holding your breath the whole way, you walked the long way around the table. Slowly releasing your breath and slowly sat down. They both watched you, smiling, making you nervous enough to force a grin back.

“She’s nervous.” Ed pointed out, you aghast he’d just call you out like that. He wasn’t even giving you a chance!

Oswald chuckled, “Well of course she is!” He turned to you, a mean leer in his eyes. “It’s not often someone just stumbles into the deepest depths of crime.”

Ed seemed to be pretending he had zero situational awareness, like the tension in the air was just apart of the appetizers he was stacking on his plate. “Actually she already had a foot in it. She was stealing hundreds every week.”

“Ed.” You hushed, feeling your chest clutch and burn.

“From who?” The way he said it. It was that high air of innocence that was only a drag into the leading answer.

There came a crinkle in Ed’s brow. A surprise Oswald didn’t know. “You, of course.”

“Ed!” You harshly shrieked. Under the table your nails were digging into your palms, clutching for dear life cause Oswald was definitely going to take it from you by the end of the night.

In a slow smug turn, Oswald looked to you, eyebrows jumping high and placid smile straining. “Really?”

“I-I had been mistaken.” It was the truth, it was the truth damn it! An honest mistake you shouldn’t be held accountable for. Oswald only tilted his head in confusion. “It-ah, it was just habit!” You shrugged, “To steal from my employer. It hadn’t occurred to me to worry about who my employer was.”

There was this deafening pause before he made you jump out of your skin with loud barking laughter. Ed joined him but you were so in the grips of terror, the most you could do was start shaking.

A drink would do you good, something to calm the nerves instead of thinking about painful slow death all night. When Ed grabbed his personal brand and began pouring it, you held your glass to him. You didn’t care what kind it was, it could be pond water at this point as long as it had alcohol in it.

“Let me get that!” Oswald grabbed the bottle right next to him, Ed stopping before he could share with you. You didn’t move, pleading to the high heavens that Ed would just fill your damn glass. He didn’t, Oswald grabbed your wrist, pulling your stiff and trembling arm in his direction as he poured the deep red wine. “This is to die for.” He winked.

Would it be inappropriate to start crying? There was no way you were going to drink this. Not until he did and, well, his glass was empty. “Thank you.” You mumbled.

Ed was the only one eating and he didn’t seem to notice. What was wrong with him tonight? Was he waiting for something? Was he... nervous?

You glanced at the table and honestly nothing looked appetizing. And that had nothing to do with thinking everything was poisoned. Grey porridge’s and smelly stews, the pork roast with the apple in its mouth looked pale and sickly in the low light.

Breaking the silence, Oswald pointed out. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but it kind of sounds like you’re in my debt.” You turned to him like a deer in the headlights. He only smiled. “Unless you paid back everything you stole of course.”

A fraction. You gave Ed a fraction of what you stole and you weren’t sure that would even count in Oswald’s eyes. All together, Ed said you had stolen thirty-five thousand and nine hundred dollars.

Slamming both hands on the table, you stood up, “I have to go to the bathroom!”

To the bathroom. Out the window. Escape Gotham and change your name. Become a lonely and quiet shepard in the rolling hills of Scotland.

“Allow me to show you the way.” A loud shriek came from Oswald’s chair as he pushed himself back, like he was waiting for you to try and escape. His self-satisfied eyes certainly said he had been.

“I-I’m sure your maid could-”

He waved you off, taking a stand and gripping your arm with his nails. “This way.” It wasn’t until you two were deep in the halls when the smile dropped and quietly chided you. “I didn’t take you for the tattling type.”

Gulping, you tried to sound resolute, though you were sure he could feel your trembling. “I was inclined not to say anything at all, but you’re sending people to spy on me.”

“Didn’t sleep all that well last night?” He chuckled. “Yeah, I was told it took you twenty minutes before you got into your car.”

You sighed slowly, face burning knowing there was an audience to your whimpering and fearful step by step to make sure your car wouldn’t kill you.

Oswald wasn’t leading you to the bathrooms. You were taking a tour through the maze of a house, reaching the top of the spiral stairs before he asked, “I want to know something, how much to do you know about Ed’s killings?”

Of course. Of course this would take the most morbid turn. You felt so cold, so sick being forced through this dusty mansion. “Only what the papers said.”

“Which, no doubt, was the bare bones of it.” He was smiling now, yanking you to him so you’d look him in his delighted eyes. “Allow me to tell you his version.”

He turned into a room, somewhat small with only one lounge chair, and the walls filled with huge scenery paintings you could barely see the rusted burgundy wallpaper. Before you was a large window overlooking the city, Oswald stopping to gaze out over it, you still firmly in his clutches.

“Have you seen a pair of feminine glasses by his bed stand? Glasses that clearly are not his?” You shook your head. The answer seemed to ease Oswald, smiling a bit easier. “Well! They used to belong to the love of his life-”

“Kristen Kringle?” You muttered, a chill running up your spine.

“Yep, that’s the one! You see, after strangling her to death, Ed started playing a little game with himself. It was back when he was a little more shattered, in the head. He chopped her up. Left the pieces in random places, and little riddles for himself to find the rest. A morbid, follow the clues when instead of prizes, he got her body parts back.” He snickered.

All you could manage to do to appear composed was stare off into the city, so close to glowing in a low yellow light if it wasn’t for the thick smog clouds hazing it dry and grey. Dreaming of running back into it was the only thing to keep your stomach from flipping, from you slipping to the ground in a faint.

In a happy sigh he continued. “The Ed you see now is the one who set out to bury her in the woods. All crammed in a suitcase, a cute woodsy picnic all laid out for him and Mrs. Kringle to cheers with.”

You gave a small start as Oswald pulled you back, taking you into the halls. His tone was darker, far more serious than he had been. “I know Ed. I know and admire him at his truest nature. Seeing that terrified drained look on you tells me you haven’t even scratched the surface.”

He stopped you a moment, eyes trained on the teardrop diamond necklace hanging above your pounding heart. His cold fingers brushed against your skin as they curled around the jewelry. “You’re afraid of me for sending a few guys to watch you, imagine what he’ll do to you if he ever grows bored and let’s face it, Ed gets bored real easy.”

Oswald ripped the silver chain clean from your neck, a sting left there as he examined it in the candlelight. With a mischievous look he pointed, “Consider this a first payment to all that money you stole from my campaign. With interest of course.”

“Of course.” You ground out.

Happily you were lead back to the dining hall, Ed having finished his meal and wine. For the first time, he showed interest in what was happening, his glass nearly empty and his eyes staring at the foot of the stairs. When you and Oswald drew close he stood up, straightening his coat.

Oswald looked between you and him, you a bit confused on what was being exchanged here. “You know what, you were right Ed. I think I do like her. She behaves well.”

The ‘compliment’ had you glowering at the floor, but Ed’s reaction was revealing. A great sigh of relief fell from him, a big smile blooming as everything in him relaxed and lightened. “I knew you would if you’d just gotten a chance to meet the real Y/N.”

Approval. This whole game was to get Oswald’s approval in his choice of lackey. It mattered that much and yet the truth of it was you would never have approval from Oswald. You were an obstacle, one that could be bled dry in the meantime.

Thankfully you weren’t forced to eat and drink and stay longer. The two gave you a few more backhanded praises before calling it a night. You couldn’t escape the mansion fast enough, stepping out faster than Ed and waiting impatiently for him to lead you to the car.

The black iron gate loudly closed and you ripped the car door open. The fear was subsiding and all that was left was anger.

Yet before you stepped in, your shoulders were grabbed and spun back around, lips crashing against yours. Ed came at you so passionately. Cupping your face and caging you to him. You stumbled back against the car, pinned there as he kissed you again and again. Each deeper than the last until you could taste the dry wine he had at dinner.

When he broke away, even in the low light of the night he was clearly smiling down at you, an adoring appreciation in his eyes as his thumbs trailed down your cheeks. The look had you weak, knowing he was happy with you, knowing he was proud of you.

Without saying anything, he gave you a peck on the nose and took to the other side of the car, leaving you to form a little knot in your chest staring at the looming mansion. It felt good to have approval from him, like it was good for him to feel it from Oswald. Perhaps what Ossy felt wasn’t as one-sided as you assumed.

Though the sympathy died as soon as you caught a gaunt face seething at you from the window. Gripping the door and pulling in you whispered to yourself, “Shit.”

@badbitsh13 @musingsby-night @gotham-dumpster-fire @goddess-of-silvers @slither-in-a-half

#edward nygma imagine #edward nygma x reader #edward nygma #the riddler imagine #the riddler x reader #gotham imagine #Now you're a real criminal #You know that female character that gets inbetween the fandom fan gay otp?#so everyone hates her for no reason #das you.#But in my opinion #Ed's got two hands

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eerythingisshaka · 6 years

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Will the Bell Ring? Pt. 4

[Erik Killmonger x Black OC]

Word Count 5.8k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Erik has a meeting one morning to discuss the upgrades he has planned for key components of the new model Boeing airplane that is set to begin manufacturing early the following year. Erik stood at the sink in the master bathroom reciting lines to himself that he had prepared with notes on his phone.

“As you can see, the planes trajectory following take off can be more smoothly….more smoothly...smoother? Uhh-- SHIT!”

Erik curses to himself as the blade angled in the wrong direction, cutting his jaw.

“You ok in there baby?” Kimara calls out from the bedroom.

Erik watches the blood begin to bubble and drip onto his shirt before he could get a tissue to catch it.

“Fuck! Yeah...I’m aight.” Erik calls back.

Kimara is putting on an earring when she walks in to see him. “Oh damn, Erik. You cut yourself today of all days?.” Kimara reaches for the tissue to survey the damage.

“Ain’t it some shit? I gotta be at the office in one hour and I fucking maim myself and stain my fucking shirt.”

“Ohh, now stop.” Kimara pats his chin as the blood begins to clot instead of run. “At least now you have an excuse for the bald spot right around there.”

Erik pins her arms down giving her slight shake. “What I tell you bout that?”

Kimara cracks up uncontrollably. “HAHA! About what?!”

Erik stares her down sticking his chin in her face. “Say it again, I dare you…”

Kimara bites her lips choking back her laughter. “I meant to say...you look very handsome.”

“Uh huh.” Erik says unconvinced but satisfied.

“So now the white men with toupees can swap Rogaine recommendations.” Kimara adds swiftly.

“YOUGONNAADDTHATWHILEIGOTYOUSNATCHEDUP??!!!” Erik barks at a cackling Kimara, tickling her neck and the sides of her torso mercilessly.

“OK! OK! You finna make me pee, STAHP!” Kimara orders in between breaths.

Erik backs off eventually, checking his chin self consciously. “You playing too much this morning. Since this your week for laundry, make sure you don’t forget the softener this time. That shit smell good as hell to let it sit.”

Kimara goes over to the toilet to relieve herself, leaning on her knees as she regains her composure. “Whatever. You got time to eat something before you go?”

Erik pulls off his shirt in all studded and scarred glory. “Nah, I took too much time at the gym this morning, so Imma have to pick somethin up later on.”

Kimara flushes and goes to her sink rinsing her hands. “Ok. Let me know when you get off, I wanna go out.”

Erik pulls out an new shirt from his closet to put on. “Aight bet. You got a place in mind?”

Kimara thinks a moment. “Not really, but I’ll look up some stuff we can come to a decision on.”

Erik shakes his head. “Uh uh say less. I got you. Lemme surprise you with somethin good for once, ok? You got enough on your plate, imma fill it with something tasty, ok?”

“Oh my God, you being corny, but I like it. Thank you…” Kimara says sweetly with smile to match. Erik pulls her to him for a kiss and a goodbye smack on her ass as he finished up and headed out for the day.

Erik’s meeting with the board went on practically without a hitch. Erik was always more nervous during preparation than when it came down to performance. His presentation ran according to his plan and all the old white men looking back at him seemed slightly above average in intrigue over what he had to say. No one was ever too excited for the meetings unless lunch was included, which today it wasn’t. But by the end he got a round of applause and a series of questions that he answered effortlessly. When the meeting was dismissed, the cordialities and congratulations were passed around to Erik which he took lukewarmly. He’d been doing this long enough to know that a handshake and a smile does not a deal make.

“Hey Erik, great presentation today son. You really knocked it outta the park with this one.” Edward Hawkins, the engineering department head and Erik’s boss, says to him.

Erik nods appreciatively. “Sure thing. I looked as deep into it as I could and I’m pretty proud of the outcome.”

Edward subconsciously brushes his comb-over over. “Yeah, it shows, the details were amazing and your stats very appropriate. I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard from Dave tomorrow morning with a deal to move forward with a couple things you proposed today.”

“I won’t hold my breath for news that quick, but drinks on you if that’s the case.” Erik claps Edward on his back and goes to leave.

“Oh, Erik! I did want to talk to you about something. I was talking with some of the board members and we thought you might work better with a team, just one extra partner to kind of share the load.”

Erik puts his hands in his pockets walking slowly to Edward. “Whatchu mean?”

Edward stutters. “Well I-I mean it's a lot of research and money riding on what you do so to protect you and the company, we feel having a teammate with you would be beneficial!”

“Who you want me with?” Erik asks curtly.

“Uh, Bryan actually.” Edward says nervously.

Erik scoffs. “Your son? The intern?”

Edward gets defensive quickly. “Now hang on, he is an entry level employee now and he went to Brown, he has the mental capacity to keep up with you. You think?”

“I don’t think so, nah.” Erik adds.

Edward sighs. “Well hell, Erik. I don’t know what to tell you. But this isn’t an if but a when situation so I just wanted to give you a heads up so you weren’t blindsided.”

“Cut the bullshit man and tell me what’s this really about. I been handling mine, no problem. I thought y’all didn’t have the budget for hiring new people any damn way.” Erik rebuttals. He knew the white folks around there complain most about money. Edward wasn’t gonna pull this over on him so fast.

“It’s not technically a hiring, just a promotion.”

“Ohhhh, that’s nice. Well since I’m babysitting his ass, I expect a heavier drop in bank account, and that ain’t a promise, issa threat.” Erik warns, walking towards the glass doors.

“Oh! Erik, come on! You’re expecting a helluva lot outta me here.” Edward calls out.

“I know you good for it. Make it happen.” Erik walks out leaving Edward to ponder his proposal.

The meeting was the biggest portion of his day, and judging from his calendar, he is free the rest of the day. Erik texts Kimara to see if she’d be down to go out still while he attempts to read her mind for a perfect evening ahead.

In the meantime, Erik calls his cousin to pester. “Aye T! The hell you doin nigga?”

T’Challa sighs deeply. “Yes, N’Jadaka. How have you been?”

“Pretty good right now. I got through with work early so I’m tryna get ready to go out.”

This elicits and even biggers sigh from T’Challa. “N’Jadaka, there is no way I can go out with you again this week. I doubt I would want to for the rest of the year to be honest.”

“Not with you, fuck you mean? I’m talking about Kimara!” Erik says.

“Ohh, well then that is good. You both are doing well?” T’Challa’s tone brightens suddenly at the relief of not getting blasted drunk in the club again.

Erik approaches his office, closing the door and the blinds. “Yeah man, I tell you! These past few days have been so good man, we vibing for real.”

“That is great to hear! She deserves some stress free days concerning all you have planned to do together.”

“Yeah, we haven’t heard back from my doc about the results yet so it’ll be any day. But she hasn’t even brought up nothing bout it. No text reminders about ovulating and shit, no scheduled sex, just regular spontaneous freakin that-”

“Eh eh, N’Jadaka you are overdoing it again!” T’Challa warns.

Erik scoffs putting his feet up on his desk. “Shit my bad. I thought we were having a moment.”

“No your thoughts and desires were having a moment. So on that note, and keep it clean, what do you and Kimara have planned to do tonight?”

“That’s the thing man. I’m still tryna figure it out. I’m bout to pull up some four and five star spots so she can get all cute and fancy for a nigga, you know?” Erik powers up his computer to being his search.

“Doesn’t she usually Asian foods?” T’Challa asks.

“Yeah, them beepbeebop meals and shit? She loves the fuck outta all the side dishes they give with the meal. More bang for the buck she says, but we ain’t been together….probably since we been married.”

“Bibimbap. But good, there’s a Korean grill place that opened up downtown you might want to try with her. I met with Nakia there recently and it was pretty good.”

“Hold UP! You and Nakia went out? Nigga, details!” Erik says excitedly.

“I have asked you countless times to stop calling me that. But yes we did, only to go over ideas about the outreach center .”

“Annnd?” Erik asks.

“Erik…” T’Challa mimicks Erik, but in a stern tone.

“Ooh, ok, you serious using my government name. I see you. So are you still fucking that one girl from the club?”

“I’m hanging up.” T’Challa says.

“Wait wait, you can’t talk to me about that either?”

“I don’t parade my conquests for everyone to hear about.”

“Aha, so y’all still fucking. Ok, well knowin your ass, she must be a serious situation now. Especially if you ain’t giving Nakia the time of day.” Erik says matter-of-factly.

T’Challa hesitates before answering. “We are considering things still, but it is an appropriate adult partnership. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Well at least you gettin something on the side while you waiting for scraps at Nakia’s door. Listen, what’s the name of that Korean place?”

“Palmi, it is not an uptight place but she will enjoy the atmosphere and food, I’m sure.”

Erik types in the place by name and reads over the reviews. “Cool, this should work. Thanks man.” Erik’s phone dings with a notification from Kimara confirming their night out.

“Ok T, Imma let you go. I got some time to pick some roses up or something to give her.” Erik says getting ready to go.

“Get calla lilies instead.” T’Challa offers.

Erik pauses. “What? She likes them more? I got her roses on Valentines, she liked them just fine.”

“Exactly, that was that manufactured holiday Americans love so much. Lilies are sweeter, more elegant, sends a better message.”

Erik nods. “Ok T, I might try that after all, good looking out.”

Erik clicks off the phone call with T’Challa and makes his way home to get changed. Kimara was still at the studio so he texts her to meet him at the Korean restaurant in an hour. There is a florist up the street from his job that he stops by to get Kimara a bouquet of ten lilies with some eucalyptus leaves.

When he gets home, Erik takes his time washing the funk of white elitist off of his skin and slips into his real nigga attire for the day: dark navy canvas jacket over his chocolate colored Henley with black distressed jeans and timbs. Erik spritz some cologne, just enough to make her lean into him to get a better whiff. He refreshed his locs, banding them atop his head and giving himself a once over, feeling his excitement build as the time drew near. Erik wanted his lady to know she was appreciated and tonight would highlight that for them.

Pulling up to the restaurant, Erik saw her car was already in the parking lot, a soft glow through the tinted windows indicated she is sitting and waiting for him. Erik gets out the car with flowers behind his back as he crouches, hopping over to the back end of the car. He glides toward her driver’s side window before knocking loudly against it, causing her to honk the horn in fright.

“Dammit, Erik!” Kimara shouts rolling down her window.

Erik leans into the window. “Ma’am, there’s no loitering in the parking lot. Spaces for patrons of the restaurant only.”

Kimara turns on the light in her car to check her makeup in her phone. “Made me smudge my lips.”

“That’s gonna be a problem you have all night. Com’ere.” Erik pesters Kimara who gives him a light smooch before reapplying.

Erik opens her car door, helping her out of it. “Babe, you ain’t had to fuck up the game like this! I thought you was coming home from work, I know I ain’t let you out the house in this!”

Kimara wore some denim cut off shorts, making a dream out of her deep toned thighs with flesh colored platform sandals adorning her feet. Her voluptuous frame stood out as her best accessory hugged by her ‘COCO Butter’ baby tee with a scoop neck that let her girls breathe a bit.

Pulling back her wavy 18 inches back, Kimara shrugs. “So what about it? A queen comes prepared for any meet and greet, understand me?”

Erik rubs his chin, not able to take his eyes off any part of her. “That ain’t a fucking problem one bit baby. I just hope these shits don’t wilt from you showing them up tonight.” Erik takes the bouquet from behind him, giving them to Kimara.

“Awww, Erik! These are so gorgeous! And…” She gives them a good sniff. “MM! Good call on that eucalyptus. How did you know I love me some lilies?”

Erik takes her hand and leads her to the restaurant. “I know what my lady like. That’s why we finna feed my Mara well so she can go to bed with a smile on her face, you hear me?”

Kimara giggles. “Good cuz I’m starving too.”

A hostess greets the, warmly before setting them at a table and giving them menus. Erik and Kimara look over the options.

“The pork belly is good for sure, but the marinated bulgogi never fails me either…” Kimara mutters, looking over their options.

“Get whatever you want Mara, you know this better than me. If it’s meat, I’ll eat.” Erik professes.

Kimara calls over a waitress and asks for her two faves to order. “And couple bottles of soju please.”

“What’s a soju?”

Kimara grins sneakily. “Just a little something to warm us up, you know?”

“Ahh, ok. Tryna take advantage of me. I ain’t falling for it neither.” Erik smirks.

Kimara puts a hand up to his face. “Skrrrrt! In ya dreams!”

Erik takes her hand, kissing her knuckles. “You right, woman of my dreams all day every day.”

Kimara rolls her eyes but can’t stop her smile. “So damn corny. I guess all this good mood is cuz your presentation went well?”

Erik screws his face up. “I can be happy to see you too! But...a little bit of work shit too. Mara, I KILLED that shit. Those whites didn’t phase me not one time.”

Kimara gives him a quick applause. “How soon til you know what’ll stick for the roll out next year?”

“Ed made it seem like tomorrow, but realistically I’d give it the end of the week.”

The waitress brings out a tray of little dishes with appetizers for them to share and their bottles of soju with some glasses. Erik and Kimara get their chopsticks ready.

“What’s that?” Erik points to one of the dishes.

“That’s gamja jorim. It’s like potatoes in soy sauce, really good!” Kimara picks a cube of potato up, moaning at the first bite as she bounces in her seat.

Erik tries it out but makes a face. “It’s cold!”

“It’s supposed to be!” Kimara says laughing at him. Erik opens a bottle of soju and takes a swig.

“Yo! You’re supposed to drink it like a shot! You not tryna drive home??” Kimara exclaims.

Erik sets the bottle down, mulling over the flavor. “That’s not bad, weak, but not bad.”

“It’s not weak, it’s just smooth. Your taste buds so used to drinking gasoline, you don’t know good liquor.”

“Not too much on my taste, Miss Thing Thang. I know what’s good, like some meat right now.” Erik whines scoping the restaurant out like it was supposed to fall from the sky.

Kimara tastes a couple more of the other appetizers. “Have some of the kimchi! It’s that red cabbage over there.”

Erik does so, to little fanfare. “I said MEAT Mara!”

On cue, the waitress comes out with a cutting board and the raw meat laid out in two piles, and a side of three dipping sauces for each of them. She runs some oil along the grill in front of them and places some meat on the hot plate, flipping them and plating some for them before wishing them luck and dismissing herself.

Erik sits there flabbergasted. “Imma kills this nigga.”

Kimara places more meat on the griddle. “The pig and cow are already dead, bruh.”

“I mean T’Challa. He recommended this place and he ain’t told me that we gotta cook shit ourselves. That meat is $30 a pop! We coulda went to the store and ate at home!” Erik fumes, taking his bottle of soju up for another gulp.

Kimara thinks about this a moment. “Well I think you’re crazy. I’m thanking T’Challa then when we get home, cuz I guess your imagination lives inside a Big Mac box. Eat!”

Kimara shows Erik hot to lay the meat out and when to tell that it’s ready to take off and eat. After a few pieces Erik is setting up the sliced meats himself and plating them for him and Kimara.

Kimara gives him a handclap of praise. “That’s it! See, This the only time I’ve gotten you to cook for me. Look at God.”

Erik hiccups. “I cook for you before, lyin ass.” Erik clinks a plate down before sloppily eating a piece of marinated beef like a spaghetti noodle.

Kimara takes a sip of soju from her glass. “Oh shit. Erik, gatdammit! You drank too much?”

Erik sits up with a big smile. “Never too much, never too much!” he sings.

Kimara calls over the waitress. “Now I’m gonna have to get up early and get you over here to come get your car. Fucking…” She gives the waitress her credit card and starts to put on her coat.

Erik reaches for Kimara across the table. “Baby….baby...babe….you know this meat was real good.”

Kimara swats his hand. “Yeah, I told you it would be.”

“I know somethin that taste better though.” Erik says before cackling out loud. “I can still eat baby, just SAY THE WORD!”

Kimara breathes a sigh of relief when she sees the waitress come back with her card.

“Thanks for coming you guys! Have a good night!”

“Thank you miss lady, we ‘preciate chu.” Erik says. He looks over at Kimara writing. “Aye! Don’t tip, she ain’t cooked shit.”

Kimara shushes him. “Damn, Erik, shut up! This is a restaurant, she still served us!” Kimara finishes writing out the ticket and her and Erik walk out the door to her car. Erik leans back in the passenger seat until he is completely leveled out. “Come on, sit for daddy…” Erik reaches over Kimara in the driver’s seat.

“Erik, I gotta drive, just go to sleep or something.” Kimara says, backing out of the space.

“My wife got the fattest ass, fattest pussy, fattest titties. Shit too good to let go to waste. That’s why I’m taking you home girl…”

“No, I’m taking you home.” She corrects.

“...You my leftovers. I’m eat that ass up later.” Erik laughs to himself at his dinner puns.

Erik sits his seat upright again after a while. “Mara, I’m sorry.”

Kimara looks over at him. “What’re you talking about?”

Erik leans on her shoulder. “I wanna do right. I wanna be good to you.”

“Aww, you are baby!”

“But you deserve it all, putting up with my bullshit.” Erik mutters.

“You just got a little drunk. I’m not mad at you.”

“I ain’t talkin bout now. I shouldn’t have left you.”

Kimara tenses up.

“Those last days were so good, but I wasn’t ready for good. I didn’t want you cuz you made things nice. But I wasn’t a nice person yet.” Erik says.

“Y-yes you were. I knew you were, that’s why you came back.”

“I wanted to die. T didn’t let me. If it wasn’t for your forgiveness I probably woulda…” Erik slumps down in her lap.

“Watch it Erik!” Kimara exclaims.

Erik twists his face to her stomach to kiss it. “That’s why Imma make us a family. I don’t care what a doctor say, we finna have a cute ass baby. I owe it to you.”

Kimara is silent for a while. “You don’t OWE me a baby Erik.”

“I do, I do. I’ll do whatever to get this done right.”

“Erik, shut up, ok?” Kimara says softly.

Nine Years Ago (Revisit)

Erik had been gone a month, and Kimara had no one she could talk to about it. Her days working at the local community center to teach music to kids was her only escape from the day to day.

“Ok Lala, from the top. Caro mio ben, Credimi almen…” Kimara sat at the piano going over the melody as her sophomore student Lala handled the lyrics. She handled the Italian pronunciations expertly, however getting the traditional operatic tone was proving difficult..

As Kimara played along a cramp in her stomach made her stop playing abruptly to clutch the source of the pain.

“Ms. Walker? Is something wrong?” Lala asked with concern.

Kimara felt horrible all of a sudden as her condition progressed. “No….well, not with you. I’ve got to stop this rehearsal early. Keep practicing on your own and I’ll see you next week.”

Kimara made her way to her car, rooting through her purse for her phone but ran across the prescription pill bottle first. Staring at the label with her name and instructions, she thinks what may have happened had she not gotten them. Could she have gone on without taking them?

Just then a wave of nausea hit her as she opened her car door to kneel out and puke all over the asphalt. The stinging in her throat from the force and volume of it all made her cough uncontrollably, stimulating her gag reflex even more. Kimara gets back in the car, cursing herself for the predicament she has been put in. This was supposed to be the easier way, at this rate she may probably should’ve rethought things.

Sitting in silence for her body to settle down, Kimara’s phone rings, breaking her calm. She finds it in her purse but sees it’s an unknown number.

“Hello?” She asks gruffly, voice strained from vomiting.

“Yes, is this Kimara?” The voice asks.

“Who is this?”

“I am T’Challa, Erik’s cousin? I don’t know if he ever mentioned me but-”

Kimara perks up at the name. “You said you’re Erik’s family? You’re from Africa?”

He sighs. “So he hasn’t told you about me then.”

Kimara grows tense. “Why hasn’t he? But first of all, why are you calling me? Where’s Erik?”

“He is with me, in Wakanda, for a few weeks now.”

“What?? He actually made it there…” Kimara’s voice trails off as she thinks of how Erik told her about the stories of his home, the lost family he was a part of, and claiming his part in it. “I still don’t understand why I’m hearing from you though.”

“He wants to see you Kimara. He wants to talk to you about things, make things right with you.”

Kimara let out a grave laugh. “Ohhh, this is corny as fuck. He is sending his cousin, some foreign dude I ain’t met, to call and ask me to talk to him sounding like a scammer. You tell his ass to bring himself back here on a plane to the States and maybe we will talk. How about that?”

“He can’t do that.” T’Challa says.

“Like hell he can! He got there, he can come back. You calling me? Call him a plane ticket so he can bring his sorry ass back here and say shit to my face. I ain’t crawling nowhere to him. He don’t know what he’s left me with!”

“Kimara, I’m sorry it’s coming out like this, but-”

“I said what I said, T’Challa!” Kimara hangs up in his face. She was fuming as she started her engine and drove off to head home. If Erik only knew….And he always did things like this: do her wrong, then beg to see her and act like nothing was wrong because ‘leave the past in the past’. He smiles his way into her good graces and they’d be cuddled up with her favorite movie and snacks. But this wasn’t college anymore, they were grown now, and he left her vulnerable. Kimara knew they were going to go somewhere this time but he didn’t treat her any different than the girls he ran through in his hoe years. But she was supposed to be different, he convinced her of that. Not anymore, from this day forward.

Kimara pulled up to her place to see a man standing outside of it. It was dark out so she really wasn’t sure who it was, but the deja vu was heavy within her. She slowly stepped out her car and stayed behind it as she shut the door.

“Yeah?” She asked cautiously.

The figure turned around to face her, giving her view of his face. “Kimara, I know this is rude of me to insist, but I have to act on Erik’s behalf. You have every right to be angry, but he needs you right now. I want to help you through that.”

Present Day

The trill of Erik’s phone going off wakes them both up as they take a lazy morning. Kimara barely got a good night’s rest for Erik having gotten too drunk and staggering to bed noisily and sloppily, only then to snore ridiculously loud for almost the whole night. Kimara smacked her pillow at him to stir him but soon as he hit REM sleep, he was Foghorn Leghorn in the sheets.

Kimara rounded off her pillow upside his head once more to get him to pick up his phone, this time Erik has gained more coordination to register his surroundings. He picks up his phone without acknowledging the caller ID.

“Hello?’ Erik asks with a heavy tongue.

“Yes, Good morning Mr. Stevens. This is Doctor Tracy from Jocelyn Elders Fertility Clinic. How are you this morning?”

Erik sits up slowly. “Oh hey, yeah, I think you should be telling me that, right?”

The doctor laughs. “Sure, that’s fair. I would like to speak with you and your wife in person about the results, if you have time this afternoon?’

Erik lightly hits Kimara on her shoulder. “Aye Mara, you got anything to do this afternoon?”

“I always got something Erik, why?” Kimara mumbles.

“The doc wants to see us about my results, but I can schedule it later.”

Kimara shoots up with renewed energy. “Shit! They wanna see us?” Erik nods, covering the mic part of his phone. Kimara motions to him nodding as she gets up and heads to the bathroom.

“Uhh, yeah, this afternoon will work for us.”

At the doctor’s, they sit in a room waiting to be seen. The doctor’s normal office seems as sterile and bland as an examination room with the smell of unidentified solutions and the overpowering whiteness of their surroundings, Kimara’s nerves are on the edge.

“What do you think they’re going to tell us?” She asks.

Erik is leaning on his knees looking blank in his face. “Whatchu mean?”

“I mean, hell, if it was good they would’ve just told us on the phone! Did you fuck up your balls doing your duties overseas and you ain’t told me?”

“Hell nah! Shit like that don’t happen. Females swear guys gets kicked in the balls every other day or somethin.” Erik retorts adjusting himself.

“Well it’s gotta be something. Maybe your time in Africa you got mixed with some shit that didn’t agree with you and wound up making you sterile.”

“Mara, you don’t know anything about Wakanda or vibranium so chill on that theory.”

“Then tell me something I don’t know Erik, cuz you’d be wasting both our time holding back.” Kimara warns.

Erik peers over at her. “The only thing getting wasted is my time and money sitting here cuz ain’t shit the fuck wrong with me.”

Kimara hated when Erik brought up how much he was doing for her by just showing up or dropping some cash on a situation. She wasn’t with him for everything he could do for her, she was with him because she loved being with him, wanted the best for him, and she put in too many years with him to get that notion twisted.

Before she could really let him have it, the doctor walked in.

“Good Afternoon folks. I’m glad you were able to make it on such short notice.” Dr. Tracy greeted them both with a smile and a handshake.

“No problem! We’ve been waiting on these for a little bit so no way would we miss this.” Kimara says, looking over at Erik with a smile, who looked bored with it all.

“Yeah, so whatchu got for us doc?” Erik says scratching his beard noisily.

Dr. Tracy nods. “Of course, so I won’t delay it any further. Erik after reviewing your sample, we found nothing abnormal with your sperm count, their mobility, or make up. You seem perfectly capable of being able to conceive a child with your wife.”

A moment of silence washed over the both of them as they looked wordlessly at one another.

“Soooo, I’m fine? Chamber loaded, no blanks?”

“Erik!” Kimara chides him.

Dr. Tracy chuckles. “It’s ok, I’ve heard all the euphemisms. But you are correct. They are...clear for takeoff!”

“Then why are we not pregnant yet?” Kimara asks in a hollow tone.

“Well, there’s a multitude of scenarios that can contribute to it but what we know right now is that Erik’s sperm is prime for conception and your uterus is beautiful for harboring a baby, just an example of good genetic make up. I would want to be reborn again from you if I had the chance!” Dr. Tracy adds.

Erik grips the bridge of his nose in frustration. “So what do you recommend we do from here?”

“Well honestly I would say to just keep having your regular routine. If you want to keep track of ovulation that’s fine but honestly I wouldn’t put too much pressure on it until it’s been a year of trying. I know they taught us in school it only takes one time, but as we get older and just leaving it up to God, it sometimes takes just that one good day after many for it to happen.”

“Ok. I got the answer I needed. Are we done here?” Kimara says, getting up before she could answer.

“Yes. Like I said folks, this is good news. It means this can still happen naturally and cheaply.” Dr. Tracy says with a slight chuckle that drops to a tight smile when she reads their expressions.

As Erik and Kimara get in her car, Erik starts. “We need a new doctor.”

“What?” Kimara asks with contempt.

Erik taps on his window nervously looking outside. “This one don’t know what she talking bout clearly. How she finna joke about this?”

“I mean, she wasn’t laughing at us, she was trying to make us feel better.” Kimara says.

“Nah, she don’t need defending. She need to give us some real solutions instead of a punchline. This ain’t a night at the Apollo, or is she taking us as a joke cuz we Black?”

“Erik, she gave us good news, right? Are you gonna take any piece of that positivity and just be happy with it? I don’t know why you’re being mean with her.”

Erik scoffs. “Trust me this ain’t mean. I’m just being real. You know these doctors give less of a fuck for us then they do white patients. She would been giving us fertility referrals and brochures and clinics out her ass if we were white. But with us it’s ‘well just keep fucking like you niggers always do’.”

“ERIK! Shut the fuck up! I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you, but you don’t have a damn place to be this upset right now.” Kimara yells, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Erik’s neck practically snaps to face her. “The fuck is-”

“Nah Erik, you been talkin. Soon as we got there you had stank on you, callin her ‘doc’ and talkin all vulgar. You need to quit acting like such a child! I almost think you WISH your balls were empty.”

“Mara, ain’t nobody-”

“AND NOW you wanna say let’s switch doctors, when we been working with her since I first told you I was worried about not getting pregnant yet. She’s spent all this time with us, changing doctors ain’t easy or quick. You know I’m the one that has to carry this right? I’m going to be the one to have to go through treatments if it comes down to it?’

“I know.”

“Nah, you really don’t Erik! You don’t know what this will do to me having to hear this shit over and over again, when this coulda been mine already.”

Erik’s demeanor softens slightly. “What’re you talkin bout?”

Kimara’s face becomes wet with tears. “It wasn’t this hard, you just don’t know. It could’ve been so damn easy, but you won’t let it.”

Erik looks around out the window. “Where we goin Mara?”

“And you got the nerve to blame the doctors? That’s some bullshit nigga, real fucking bullshit.” Kimara stamps on the brake when she reaches the outside of the Korean BBQ place. “Get your damn car! I’m going for a drive, don’t wait up.”

Erik looks at Kimara with concern. “Mara, that’s my bad about the doctor. I just-”

Kimara clicks the unlock button. “Get out Erik!”

Part 5

Masterlist

Ragtag

@chaneajoyyy @sarcastic-sunshines @muse-of-mbaku@dameshaemonique @fonville-designs@destinio1@bakarisangel @wakanda-inspired@klaine15689 @savageiz @nickidub718@yoyolovesbucky @alexundefined @forbeautyandlife @bakarisangel

#erik killmonger fanfic #erik killmonger x black!oc #shakafic #black panther fic #fanfic #will the bell ring

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things2mustdo · 4 years

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The video game industry and culture changed substantially when women started to get involved. Whenever a successful male industry is created, a biological urge to change it comes from those with two X chromosomes. Here are e three ways that women have ruined gaming culture:

1. Inclusiveness

The videogame culture of the 70’s – 00’s was about making fun games to sell to consumers. This could mean controlling Bill and Lance from “Contra” to Duke in “Duke Nukem.” You bought video games that appealed to you and didn’t support the ones you didn’t like. Women don’t understand this basic formula. They would rather screech about a game not including a strong female role model than actually make a video game with a strong female role model.

A female Youtuber named Anita Sarkeesian used this premise to rally for more feminist narratives. A normal alpha would use Kickstarter to make a high budget game that appeals to them. Anita instead spent time begging on Kickstarter and used it to raise over $150,000 dollars to make snarky videos on an iMac. Females always want to be inclusive without putting in the work themselves. One example is this fat lady named Heidi.

This is an example of a woman who wants to write a poly-amorous love triangle in video games instead of working on a new physics engine. It’s also not surprising that she’s a fat single mother with a useless degree. If we had this chick developing games instead of Shigeru Miyamato, Mario would be a transgender Eskimo amputee and he would beat up racist men instead of saving the princess. It would also mean that video game companies would go out of business. Since the type of feminists the “social justice” games would be marketed to rarely support businesses that aren’t clothing, decadent food and media publications. In the big scheme of things, video-game companies need talented men to produce content that would be used to subsidize feminist outreach programs made by the same companies. Every time you see a conference or panel at a convention hosted by a video-game company about getting more women into the industry, you know that these wouldn’t even be possible without Joe Nerd spending 16 hours a day, 7 days a week unknowingly subsidizing it. Women want to be involved in things but don’t want to do the actual work to do so.

2. Video Game Journalism

Women and beta males have made video game journalism an entry point for dilettantes with humanity majors. Most major publications like Kotaku, Gawker, IGN, and Gamespot rather complain about how “sexist” GTA is than write actual meaningful game content. Video game publications have turned into tabloids with female writers at the helm. Most people can’t name a female game journalist because they coast on their male colleagues who do the actual work.

You’ll never have a Louis Theroux in the video game industry because women who work in the industry would bitch about inquisitive questions. They would rather write about some dumb ass model dressed up as a video-game character than something substantive.

3. Gamer Girls

The last part of this trifecta of regression is the culture of gaming brought in by women. The beta males of video gaming culture are the thirstiest betas in existence. When a former porn star can make more money by streaming video games for donations instead taking a fat dick, you know there has to be betas behind that.

You go to any Youtube channel about gaming and it will have a useless pretty chick talking about her experiences with Pokemon as a child. These women are not actual gamers but women riding a fad. They’re called “Gamer Gurls” for the reason to mock the gurl phrase that feminists like to use. These semi-attractive chicks have learned that they can get the princess treatment by pretending to be a video game enthusiast. Also another type of chick started to pop up. These women though don’t have the facade of being attractive. Instead they use videogames to up their social status. The land whales realized that if they could fake their enthusiasm for games, some video game beta would find them attractive as well. The betas fight over these chicks and since they’re all manginas of the highest degree. This is one of the reasons that betaness and even omeganess are the norms in video game culture.

Because of these reasons, video games have declined since their great rise in the 70’s-00’s. Girl gamers and their beta male hangers-on rather buy Call of Duty than support quality products. Don’t let women in to your sub-culture unless you want it permanently disfigured. Too bad they already did it to my favorite sub-culture.

https://www.returnofkings.com/12615/5-things-i-learned-from-call-of-duty

5 THINGS I LEARNED FROM CALL OF DUTY

WESTERN CANCER

I played a lot of video games growing up; not as much as those weird neck-bearded kids who play WoW, but enough to learn just how much time one can waste playing them. After I got home from school I’d grab a snack and sit my ass on the couch and start playing until dinner. I’d go to friends houses on weekends and play games and when a new game came out I’d play it tirelessly until I beat it. Fifteen hours a week isn’t all that much when you’re a teenager; school is easy and you have no reason to be doing anything else, but the older I get the more I realize how much of a time-sink it was. However, there are a few important lessons I learned from playing all those hours.

1. There are complainers…

Most guys who play CoD either talk shit about how they fucked your mother or they just keep silent. The rest are those who bitch and moan about every little detail. They’re the guys who complain you’re ‘hacking,’ playing unfairly, or using a loadout that gives you an advantage. They’re the sore losers and you encounter them in the real world all the time. In the real world those same guys whine about following the rules because they are scared of stepping out of line, they are the people who believe everyone needs to be brought to the same level lest one be left out. The best way I’ve found to deal with them is just ignore them. Ignore those who complain about perceived problems the same way you would ignore some 13 year old kid whining how using RPGs aren’t fair.

2. …and then there are those who find patterns.

On the more extreme end of things there are those who learn patterns and exploit them. They’re the guys who learn spawning patterns, optimized loadouts, good sniping positions and so on. They put in serious time to get good at the game, they also know they have to do more than learn the game to get good at the game. In the time it takes them to master the theoretical or detail oriented parts of the game their motor skills have increased as well. These guys are like us. We improve our social skills, appearance, and confidence as well as exploiting the current system in order to get better at the game of life.

3. The importance of competition

Competition is at the core of our masculinity, without it we are just participating in existence. Call of Duty is the most immediate form of competition I have come across and I never realized its importance until the first powerlifting meet I competed in. At the meet adrenaline coursed through my veins between attempts and although I cheered others on I felt a burning desire to lift as much as I damn could to prove myself better than the rest. While you may only be competing against half-literate, drugged out teenagers playing Call of Duty, you still get that same rush when trying to annihilate the other team. Even while relaxing with friends, having a few beers and playing CoD you want to beat their score. You want to be the best.

4. The average man sucks

The last CoD game I played regularly was the first Black Ops game. There was an option to look at another player’s scorecard. This scorecard showed their kill/death ratio, win/loss ratio, and every other imaginable metric of success. In this data was hours played. Between matches I’d always look at the opposition’s scorecard and 9 times out of 10 the dude had fucking terrible stats. I would regularly see players who played hundreds of hours yet still died more than they killed. Even though most guys play CoD to relax they’re still fucking terrible and aren’t any better than when they started. Same goes in the real world. Most men you meet will be extremely average, and as we all know average never got anyone anywhere. You reconnect with a friend 5 years down the line and his accomplishments include: having a mortgage, being in debt, becoming overweight, and maybe driving a new car.

5. People will do anything if given the right rewards

Video game developers are crafty sons of bitches, like social media mavens they sell instant gratification. When you think about it a game like Call of Duty is extremely boring and repetitive. Each game is 10-15 minutes long and you do the exact same thing each time, something has to keep you coming back. While much of the draw can be attributed to the thrill of competition and success there is another factor: the instant gratification of rewards. The first few hours you play Call of Duty you’re assaulted with various medals, ribbons, unlocks and upgrades. You get a medal for 5 kills, then 50, then 500. You get sucked in from the start and desire the hardest to get rewards. As in the real world people will perform the same mindless action day in, day out given enough monetary or emotional compensation.

I still play from time to time. Its nice to do nothing but move your thumbs for an hour, but no man should spend the majority of his precious free time doing something so unproductive as playing video games. One of my biggest regrets from being a teenager was spending much of my time alone playing games when I could have been out doing something interesting, or in the very least reading books. However I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned. I know now to ignore those who complain and instead of complaining myself I seek out ways to overcome obstacles and get better. I know now how easily average people can be manipulated into doing mindless things if they are sufficiently compensated. Most importantly I know the importance of competition in masculine development.

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bethestaryouareradio · 4 years

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Freedom, Flowers, Sunshine is Living

Miracle Moment®

“Just living isn’t enough,” said the butterfly. “One must also have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” Hans Christian Andersen

MESSAGE FROM CYNTHIA BRIAN, Founder/Executive Director It’s been three days short of four weeks since I have been at home, sheltering-in-place, and personal distancing. With mask and gloves, I venture to my office in town once a week to pick up the mail. The parking lot is empty of cars as everyone works from home. The numerous items on my “to-do” list have not all been accomplished, although I admit, I may have overreached in my enthusiasm. I’ve been occupied with over two dozen webinars and teleconferences attempting to figure out how to keep the outreach programs of Be the Star You Are!® non-profit alive and viable as donations have shriveled. Online applications, document gathering, organizing paperwork…tedious and time-consuming. Most of you will relate. I’m so appreciative to Screen Actors Guild, The Authors Guild, Network for Good, and California Association of Non Profits for all of the information they have generously provided to help performers, writers, and non-profits survive during this Covid 19 crisis.

Email requests for virtual volunteer opportunities have tripled as people strive to keep their skills honed during work layoffs. Producing our two radio broadcasts takes an enormous amount of time as I attempt to bring valuable information, entertainment, and enlightening guests to the airwaves. I laugh at the preponderance of Linkedin messages from a variety of coaches asking for a telephone chat so they can help me earn seven figures. Right! Maybe I need to send them a link to donate a bit of their riches.

I am so grateful to have a home and a home office. There have been magical experiences because of our quarantine. My husband and I are enjoying virtual costume parties with our kids via FaceTime at sunset. Instead of working crazy, late night schedules at our respective offices, we are actually sitting down together at the table every day to eat dinner. Most evenings we watch a movie or documentary on Netflix. My garden has become my sanctuary because it is in full bloom providing plenty of hope for a brighter tomorrow. I spend hours working in it daily and I’ve had so much fun in the barnyard with my adopted animals. Every day I post a photo from my mini-farm to my social networks with an inspirational note. Sunday, we’ll do a virtual Easter-egg hunt with our family. How marvelous technology is!

I miss working in films and coaching clients in person. I miss seeing my family in the flesh, meeting friends at restaurants, visiting gardens and museums, and going to the theater. Yet, I am happy we are healthy, alive, and thus far, safe. We have sunshine, freedom, and flowers. This is living!

This will be a memorable Passover, Holy Week, and Easter for all. Enjoy some of the virtual tours of museums and gardens listed below.

Sending blessings and grace. Stay safe, strong, and keep living in the moment.

Cynthia Brian Founder/Executive Director Be the Star You Are!® PO Box 376 Moraga, California 94556 [email protected]

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

P.S. During the lock-down, I am available for consultations, webinars, interviews, or speaking via on-line sources only. If interested, email [email protected]

or visit https://www.starstyleradio.com/coaching

DONATE: https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

Virtual Visits: My husband and I were supposed to be celebrating Easter in Prague this year with my Irish/Norwegian penpal from childhood, Nora, and her husband. We love to explore museums and gardens together. Unfortunately I won’t be able to visit Museum Kampa so I took a virtual tour. https://artsandculture.google.com/partner/museum-kampa?hl=en

Here are some links to virtual visits to a few of my favorite museums and gardens in various parts of the world. Experience armchair travel!

Museums: Van Gogh Museum. Amsterdam: https://artsandculture.google.com/partner/van-gogh-museum?hl=en

RijksMuseum, Amsterdam: https://artsandculture.google.com/partner/rijksmuseum?hl=en

Hermitage, St. Petersburg: https://artsandculture.google.com/partner/the-state-hermitage-museum?hl=en

Musée d’Orsay, Paris: https://artsandculture.google.com/partner/musee-dorsay-paris?hl=en

Palace of Versailles, Versailles: https://artsandculture.google.com/partner/palace-of-versailles?hl=en

Legend of Honor, San Francisco: https://artsandculture.google.com/partner/legion-of-honor?hl=en

deYoung Museum. San Francisco: https://artsandculture.google.com/partner/de-young-museum?hl=en

MOMA, Museum of Modern Art, New York: https://artsandculture.google.com/partner/moma-the-museum-of-modern-art?hl=en

Gardens: Monet’s Garden, Giverny France: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjWx2WNXFF4

Hawaii Tropical Botanical Garden: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtZ0dcUzGX8

HighGrove Gardens, England: https://artsandculture.google.com/exhibit/igLSEOWqhVHoJw

Keukenhof, Holland: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqMA5s-N1Uw

Butchart Gardens, Canada: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoxcZBuf900

Brooklyn Botanical Gardens Cherry Watch, United States: https://www.bbg.org/collections/cherries

National Trust Gardens, England, Ireland: https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/lists/virtual-tours-of-our-places

Other Entertainment

1.For teens, by teens, Express Yourself!™ Radio hosts and reporters continue to interview fantastic guests. Listen to 9 years of incredible interviews : https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2014/express-yourself

Lots of exciting guests are lined up to talk about new books, food, climate, medicine, spirituality, the future, and more. Make sure to listen to BTSYA volunteer and host, Brigitte Jia’s meditative hour on Quarantine Communication and Contemplation, https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/122978/quarantine-communication-and-contemplation-with-brigitte-jia

For information on new weekly episodes and guests, visit https://www.starstyleradio.com/expressyourselfteenradio

2. Lifestyle radio programming at its best, StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® offers you over 728 hours of LIVE uplifting, informative, empowering broadcasts showcasing celebrities, authors, successperts, and the pioneers the planet. https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2206/be-the-star-you-are

Beginning on Wednesday, April 15 at 4:30pm PT, join us for Wine Wednesdays with sommelier and BTSYA volunteer, Heather Brittany. Each week we’ll raise a glass and learn about a different varietal. We can all use a little vino during this down time and Heather Brittany brings us the party to put the bloom on the doom. It's Wine Time! Salute!

Don’t miss our many excellent authors who will be on our programs.

New LIVE shows every Wednesday from 4-5pm PT: https://www.starstyleradio.com/starstyle-radio

3. If you love behind-the-scenes of movies, TV shows, and more, The SAG Foundation offers Conversations with numerous actors, directors, casting people, and more. The content is free and fabulous but you can also donate: https://www.youtube.com/user/SAGFoundation

4. If you love nature and gardening, a plethora of gardening articles:https://www.cynthiabrian.com/gardening-articles

Our last newsletter had numerous ways to entertain yourselves during our stay-at-home mandate. If you missed it, here’s a link to Press Pass: https://blog.voiceamerica.com/2020/03/30/theres-no-place-like-home/

SHOPPING ON-LINE! Since we need to stay at home and only go out when absolutely necessary, these are on-line shopping portals that will sell you what you need, offer discounts, and assist our mission as a nonprofit. Please use these web sites for all of your shopping essentials,

1. AmazonSmile donates .5% of purchases https://smile.amazon.com/ch/94-3333882

2. Discounted books at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/shops/be_the_star_you_are_charity

3. Giving Assistant: Shop. Earn. Give! Use Giving Assistant to earn cash at 3500+ popular online stores, then donate a percentage to BTSYA:https://givingassistant.org/np#be-the-star-you-are-inc

& buy from your favorite stores. 4. Search and GoodShop: Choose Be the Star You Are as your charity to support. You can log in with Facebook, too! https://www.goodshop.com/nonprofit/be-the-star-you-are

5. Shop at over 1300 stores on IGIVE: http://www.iGive.com/BTSYA

6. BTSYA Logo Store: http://btsya.rylees.net

7. Buy or Sell on EBAY:http://givingworks.ebay.com/charity-auctions/charity/be-the-star-you-are-501-c-3/1504/?favorite=link

8. Designer Clothes to Buy or Sell: https://www.unionandfifth.com/charities/be-the-star-you-are-moraga-ca/shop

9. Buy “Read, Lead, Succeed” T-shirts and tanks $19.99 at StarStyle® Store: http://www.starstylestore.net/

10. Are you a gamer, lover of new software, or other digital content? Buy all of your favorites at Humble Bundle. http://ow.ly/cYs130iN6n4

We appreciate a direct donation most of all via PAYPAL GIVING FUND at https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

Checks can be sent to PO Box 376, Moraga, California 94556 http://www.btsya.org ___________________

Direct Links you can use for Be the Star You Are!® Positive Results: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/positive-results

About Us: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/about_us

Programs: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/programs

How to Help: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/how-to-help

Blog: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/blog-1

Events: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/events

GREAT NON PROFITS REVIEWS: https://greatnonprofits.org/org/be-the-star-you-are-inc

GUIDESTAR: https://www.guidestar.org/profile/94-3333882

We invite you to volunteer, get involved, or make a donation. Make a DONATION through PAYPAL GIVING FUND and PAYPAL with 100% going to BTSYA with NO FEES: https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

____________

Classified Ads: If you’d like to advertise your service or product while supporting Be the Star You Are!®, we are now accepting approved ads that will benefit readers. Contact [email protected] for details.

Enjoy Holy Week, Passover, and Easter in a brand new way. We are still here…apart yet together. Stay healthy and safe. Add sunshine flowers to your life.

Be the Star You Are!® PO Box 376 Moraga, California 94556 [email protected]

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

All donations are 100% Tax Deductible according to law. Thank you! https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

Read: http://hosted.verticalresponse.com/672296/318e3a3a8c/288055965/bbd34d3431/

tags: #Easter,#passover,#coronavirus,#ovid19,#bethestaryouare,#stayhome,#staysafe,#cynthiabrian,#helpforyou,#starstyle,#expressyourself

#Easterpassovercoronavirusovid19bethestaryouarestayhomestaysafecynthiabrianhelpforyoustarstyleexpressyourself

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goddessgardener · 4 years